Tumgik
About
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Visit Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Fun Fact
Tumblr is available in 18 languages.
#im done blaming someone else im gonna eat my words with regret and shame :
philosophicallie
·
29 days
Text
ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me
#being dramatic but idk im also trying to think abt why i am this way
#in part to the fact that i inherently view myself as a burden and always have since a child since i could like. comprehend the things my mom
#was going through for my life & moving the america etc etc
#but like yeah i was basically as independent as couldve been in the PH bc i had multiple ppl who could take me places and take care of me
#but in the US it was just my parents and our family and our X amnt of cars
#idk i just keep thinking about how much i miss doing anything in my life and how i used to be a dancer a martial artist a potter like
#there was so much to me and now because i refuse to learn to drive and get a car i just. am locked out of everything
#bc my aspirations cant work out on 1 vehicle in sparse & spread ohio
#like idk maybe its the fact that i always was just like im not allowed to have friends im not allowed to go out in the summer
#im not allowed to visit friends or extra places or events
#never really been independent until i basically ran away and even now im just
#only partially independent bc sure i have money and i have my own space but. im dependent on a driver and other ppls schedules and it just
#idk i cant not see myself as a burden all i can think of is that im not a good enough woman let alone wife and thats something no one wants
#like i barely know how to cook i barely eat i dont clean i barely wash i barely provide like. yeah idk also ever since i had a breakdown
#i feel fundamentally just. changed especially about food. and idk i have been asking for others to cook for me more but i still am waiting 4
#the next time someone says you can make it yourself and i starve for the next 24 hours
#idk dude i literally cannot see myself as not a work of labor. its all mama ever ranted at me about. very verbally very constantly up until
#i stopped being difficult with her being the head of the family of like 12
#whatever. whatever
#im done blaming someone else im gonna eat my words with regret and shame :/
3 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
revie-worldy
✨
somewhatdream
ask-kalista
Kalista, the Spear of Vengeance
sailoremery2
The Blogging of Maurer 742
artbyjanetr
Arty Adventures