#i miss riding my bike

[haedia]

Some chronic condition grumbles for the day

Goddamn. Today was just all about my body taking a highlighter and underlining pen to my medical shit and reaffirming that yes, I do have ME/CFS and Post-Exertional Malaise shit.

I had too many days of "activity" lately. At least, of the mental stimulation variety. Physical? pfft. No, not really. But all the effort I was able to put into my most recent art piece, plus the fitful, broken sleep I've had two of the past three nights, meant that today has been mostly me teetering on the edge of a fatigue crash. It's felt like after 9pm or even midnight for me since 2pm. I crashed out for a few hours after 3ish? I don't know. My best friend (whom I picked up at the airport earlier) woke me for dinner a little before 6 maybe? The brain fog takes away my ability to process time when it's bad enough. So I'm not entirely sure how things went down after we got home.

I still feel like I've been through the wringer. But at least I'm not getting the orthostatic intolerance shit? (yet). I don't have too bad of fatigue nausea either. And my skin is only a little achy today. So. There are some small victories even if I feel like trash in every other way.

God, I hate having this condition. It's a grief-inducing, life-shrinking existence.

I can only hope that I don't wake up feeling worse tomorrow. Better isn't a guarantee; it hasn't been in years. But not worse is what I hope for.

It's something.

[crystallizsch]

DID SOMEONE SAY FILIPINO TWST (no one did it's just me 😔)

below the cut is stock photos of what is a trike/tricycle in the philippines (what they’re riding on) if you're unfamiliar!! and also some rambling about my heartshackle trio ;;;

i referenced the one on the left, there's usually supposed to be a screen where ace is popping out (and also i think deuce would prefer riding the one on the right where it's an actual motorcycle and not just a bike)

i like to think that the trio found this tricycle trashed and broken somewhere and they tried to fixed it up so they could all take a ride on it

ace and deuce kinda fought who’ll be the first to ride it and deuce only won because they all agreed deuce was the one who actually knew (for the most part) how to fix the thing

++++ some more concepts/hcs between them in this au(???) 😳

all three of them are childhood friends who grew up in the same neighborhood and went to the same elementary school. unfortunately in high school they ended up in different schools, but they all still remained close friends 🥹

grim exists but as a regular cat who “belongs” to yuuna (yuuna was just grim’s favorite out of the three). technically he’s just a neighborhood stray, yuuna can’t really keep him as a pet at home (and neither can ace/deuce) but somehow grim keeps finding the heartshackle trio whenever they’re all together. and so grim just became part of the group.

yuuna has a physical album of photos dedicated to all the times they go to jollibee. they take a photo with the jollibee statue every single time they all go there.

[enden-k]

kinda missing the "warning!!! lemon!!! boy x boy kissing, dont like dont read" days lately

[1loer]

yeah, still got it

[goodplace-janet]

my difficult errand today is to go to the local community bike shop and get a new-to-me refurbished bike, because mine has finally kicked the bucket

or so i thought. the things making this challenging are a) change is hard, and a change to a tool i use every day will involve an intimidating adjustment period

and b) i am emotionally attached to this bicycle that has been with me through all the tough times and big changes in my life over the past decade, and the thought of donating it to the shop to be stripped for parts was making me sad

so i've decided to hang onto the old bike, see if the issues with it can be repaired, and if so, do the work of overhauling it over the next few months and eventually leave it at my parents' house so it'll be available when i visit.

[bogkeep]

it's been over a whole month since i had a stupid argument with my parents about driving, a skill that i legally possess but hate doing because i have a special brain illness that makes me fear death and injury, but i'm still chewing over an absurd claim that it's "equally dangerous to go on a 14 hour train ride like you just did". literally how is that more dangerous. in what way. in what world. public transport is nice and good and i like it and i don't have to enter my personal torment nexus

[minamaybe]

comeback!!

hey everyone! <3 i‘m not sure if anyone remembers me but i used to be quite active here a few months ago - then life got in the way (i graduated and subsequently fell into a deep hole of despair and confusion lol) and i couldn’t keep up with this blog and this community. i‘ve really missed it tho and would like to come back to y’all again, and to re-awaken my love for writing that got lost somewhere between stress and heat exhaustion. i‘m really really excited to see what you‘ve all been up to <3

[raiiny-bay]

opened blender just to look at them

[sugar-omi]

I was so happy living my Leech Daughter Era™️ tho 😩

RIIIIGHTTTT?!??! like i enjoyed the freeness of my gap year, and i love being unemployed bc. well i aint gotta do anything😂😂 but i hate being broke..........💀

i am enjoying the busyness n buzz of my life now bc im in a (bit</3) better place n im having more fun now, but dammit!!!! i jus wanna look pretty (i actually look like a frog in my pjs n unkempt bun majority of the time lol) and paint, read n write, and watch anime in my room all day😩😩😩

but we got this!!!!!! we'll grind n then we'll be retired on the beach one day i swearrrrr 🙌

[kowwpow]

Kimmie you are absolutely beautiful! Don't say that! >:3

I'm just literally telling everyone inspiration 😔

Okay, nonie, I need you to know that your ask came at the perfect time because I am actively panicking over my appearance rn.

like, it’s not good

so thank you

[batsbaby]

You know what’s torturous? Being a jock but being disabled and chronically I’ll. I long to play ice hockey. I long to be able to wrestle again. I long to play basketball or baseball again. I long to play soccer again. I do have hEDS, Dunbar Syndrome, and POTS though and my body hates me.

[orcelito]

-22F windchill is Pretty Chilly!! But I bundled right up, so I'm okay. My face doesn't like it, though. My lungs, too. Going full turtle mode, hunkering down in my coat collar and exhaling warm air up to keep my face warm. It works! Makes my glasses a condensation hell though. But struggling to see is worth keeping my face from getting frostbite lol. Lungs still don't like it tho.

[russell-crowe]

there's something incredibly amusing to me about it taking multiple buses, a ferry, a plane, multiple trains and a car ride for me to get home

[ouchiemyspine]

eating peanuts with a spoon currently :) spoons are my best friend as someone who has difficulties with fine motor skills! I recommend them for everyone for everything

popcorn, peanuts, anything else in chunks? better to eat with a spoon . it . saves me spoons you could say

[reverend-meat]