#pick one!!!!!!!!! either im a stupid sheltered baby or im a brave soldier who understands the danger of being alive!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bogkeep · 7 months ago

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it's been over a whole month since i had a stupid argument with my parents about driving, a skill that i legally possess but hate doing because i have a special brain illness that makes me fear death and injury, but i'm still chewing over an absurd claim that it's "equally dangerous to go on a 14 hour train ride like you just did". literally how is that more dangerous. in what way. in what world. public transport is nice and good and i like it and i don't have to enter my personal torment nexus

#goddddd it was so bad #i was trying to explain that yes i understand the importance of maintaining my skill but also i want to build my life in a way that doesn't #depend on doing a thing that stabs me directly in the mental illness #and i was basically told that im both a whiny coward that doesn't wanna do scary things AND i do scary things all the time?????#pick one!!!!!!!!! either im a stupid sheltered baby or im a brave soldier who understands the danger of being alive!!#ive always been a Good and Agreeable child but ive been grounded One time in my life #and that was when my parents were teaching me to ride a bike without training wheels and it stressed me out and made me cry so much #I WONDER IF MAYHAPS I HAVE ANXIETY #I KNOW I GOTTA DO SCARY THINGS BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS SCARY AND I DO THEM ANYWAY #but like sending an email is not putting my life at risk as like. car traffic #and for all my anxiety the only fear ive ever had about public transport has been like. missing a train or a bus #im not afraid of travelling alone or sharing a space with people???#and p much most public vehicles are safer than personal cars????#drivers of the vehicles receive more rigorous training and stuff??? and also they get a lot of experience bc they do it every day???#how is that less safe than putting a mentally ill nervous wreck in the torment nexus #is this what evangelion was about bc im not sure

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