#i miss my before bed reading
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daily question: when will magnetar upload the new chapter then i can read and sleep
#i miss my before bed reading#i know i read yesterday but i miss#pls#need fed#no im not here for asking more take time pls#im so eepy i wanna read and find an excuse to sleep#hows dolly today🥺
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you know stede would play along with ed's innkeeper roleplay
OH MY GOD HE WOULD!!!!!! YOU JUST KNOW HE WOULD
he'd ding the bell without being asked to. he'd announce that he's got a reservation under some fake name, and then he'd ask ed to walk him to his room for him. i guarantee that fruitcake would even ask to see the ring of keys.
all ed wants in this stupid life is for someone to match his energy and be silly with. and then here comes drama-club-kid stede bonnet and blows it out of the fucking water. i hate them (lying)
#they're literally the most perfect match in the whole world#i cannot wait to read soooo many inn fics#in fact. perhaps i will write one myself#there's already the one bed trope waiting right there before the fic is even written#the potential!!!!!#also i'm so sorry i missed this in my inbox my notifs have been absolutely obliterated the last couple days#but now im here >:)#ofmd#ofmd s2#ofmd s2 spoilers#ask
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Ok. Let’s talk lure coursing safety.
A pretty awful accident occurred during the lure coursing at UKC Premier this past week. I wanna make it clear that I cannot and will not be passing any kind of judgement on what happened. I was not there, I do not know many details other than the owner themselves called it a freak accident.
And the truth of lure coursing is that even if/when things are done perfectly, this kind of accident is always a possibility. There is a certain amount of risk you must weigh and decide to take when you decide to let your dog lure course.
1. Mechanical Risks - like with this accident, there is always the possibility for injury when coming in close proximity to a thin, tensioned wire running at speeds upwards of 30+ mph. Line burns on paws and lower legs are not uncommon, and many dogs run muzzled to prevent them from cutting their mouths when trying to bite a moving line. Azula has gotten tangled and line burnt after the line, loosened by wet conditions, popped off a pulley mid run. I myself have scars from some pretty awful line burn after a freak accident while setting up the field.
To help mitigate this risk, the huntmaster should always have a knife or scissors on hand and should be closely watching the dogs running so they can cut the line and release tension at any sign of a tangle. The lure operator should be highly trained and also be keeping out for any sign of danger so they can stop the lure when needed. As a competitor, make sure you are aware of the line at all times. Not only where it is, but when it is and isn’t moving. I try to never move my dog over a moving line, and when I am moving over a line, I am either taking extra tall steps or stepping on it to make sure I don’t trip (but, DO NOT step on a moving line). Try not to grab a line unless absolutely necessary and never ever ever grab a moving line - you will cut through your hands.
2. Other Dogs - lure coursing is one of the few (maybe the only?) dog sports where multiple dogs are competing at the same time potentially hundreds of yards away from their humans. It’s a high arousal and highly competitive environment, and this can lead to conflict between dogs. Sometimes this can be mitigated with muzzles and sometimes the dog should simply not be participating in lure coursing. If it is your dog that is aggressive and putting others at risk, please do not run them in the Open or Specials stakes. Dogs can have just as much fun running in singles and no title is worth potentially endangering your dog and others by running a dangerous dog.
However sometimes the risk comes simply from dogs running together at high speeds. Dogs can unintentionally bump into or trip each other, I’ve seen dogs leap over another in the field, tumble into each other while slowing down, and run into each other when they’re paying too much attention to the lure and not enough to the other dogs on the field. Sometimes unintentional contact happens and it’s important to recognize that too. There’s really not much that can be done in those cases.
3. Field Conditions - heat, rain, snow, height of grass, dry ground, rocks, trees, and the course plan itself can all pose issues when running. The club running the event should be continuously assessing these and doing what they can to alleviate the effects, but there’s a lot that you have to judge for yourself and what you know about your own dog. Wrapping paws or soaking them in water can help minimize injury due to dry ground, soaking a dog in water can help keep them cool on hot days, and knowing how your dog may handle tight turns can help you evaluate whether you should enter based on the plan for the course.
Fields with numerous trees or other obstacles are dangerous for dogs who may be paying more attention to the lure than their surroundings. If you’ve never been to the field before I highly suggest talking to someone was has to get a feel for what to expect.
4. Honest to God Freak Accidents - sometimes shit happens. A dog steps into a hole no one noticed and breaks their leg. A group of deer pop onto the field and your dog takes off after them, disappearing for hours. A dog with no prior indications has a cardiac event mid run, and is gone before anyone can even process that they’ve stopped running.
Sometimes there is absolutely nothing that could have been done differently and things just happen. It unfortunately is part of life and something that can be so hard to accept. Occasionally, there is no rhyme or reason, no blame to lay. When you go to that coursing event and run your dog, you’re entrusting that a lot of the risk has been mitigated for you by those running the event. That’s why it’s so important to know who that is and what experience they have.
But beyond that, you are assuming some amount of gambling by participating in lure coursing. The sport itself has dangers that cannot be managed away. But so does agility, and flyball, and disc, and dock diving, and any other sport of any kind. This does not mean that any of these things should be discontinued, but that you should not take any of these lightly and consider the risks vs the rewards, both personal and for your dog. Lure coursing has unfortunately become fairly available to do on a whim in recent years when it is truly something you should be heavily educated about before choosing to participate.
#lure coursing#dog sports#dogblr#idk how to wrap it up really so there you have it#congrats if you read all that#tldr dog sports all carry risk pls consider the risk vs reward and educate yourself before participating#and like y’all know I am hugely pro coursing and racing this post is absolutely not anti sports#but I think with the popularity of FastCATs nowadays a lot of people take lure coursing way too lightly#until of course something like this blows up and people start calling for it to be discontinued#there’s probs so much I’m forgetting or missing but it’s 1 am now and I’m going to bed#so feel free to ask questions here or in my asks or dm idc
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chat htey fuckin jumpscared me while im trying to do my assignment
#this isnt xmen related but it can be if i try#i think enjoying james mcavoy comes with the territory of being a cherik enjoyer vjaeLKe thems just the strokes i dont make the rules#snap chats#'snap i thought you were sleeping' i was lying but it wasnt in bed i fear fjaELKEJ#no my prof has our assignments due at 8AM so i do them the night before WHATEVER its just reading news articles#and they put this ad at the bottom and i was term searching and i got jumpscared when the page jumped right to it#i saw the movie opening night and it was. the goofiest thing. the movie partially but My Night Mostly#cause at the beginning of the week i told my ma i was going to see it and she- trying to be a mother for the first time- was like#'oh we should watch it together :)' but as the time approaches she's like 'i mean do we HAAVE to watch it horror's traumatizing....'#im so glad i didnt go with my mom i know she woulda soured the whole thing for me she hates me and everything i love#like miss ma'am go AWAY i just went with my brother and the theater was virtually empty so we kept crackin jokes jvlkeakj#I STILL GENUINELY ENJOYED THE MOVIE THOUGH i should watch the og sometime but this was a good watch .... a fun one even...#this movie solidified the fact i love it when james plays- as he says- 'devilish' characters it is ACTUALLY primo to my life#so funny cause my bro and i still crack jokes about and reference it i didnt think he'd care bout it after we left but vjlkjlkja#ok im goig to bed for real now im tired and i wanna get up early to do work BYE
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rate my reading lineup
#was going to take these with me on my trip next month but i might start them sooner idk#i missed having something to read before bed and in the morning#(reclaimed is an ARC idk if/when its out)
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Hypersomnolence
Haha funny story, I was diagnosed with a sleep disorder in November after struggling with it unknowingly for give or take 18 months. Turns out I’m not crazy and falling asleep against your will multiple times a day is actually not a good or normal thing.
So permit me to write the puppet like a sap as I need this right now lol. Yes these are in fact all things I experienced but I am medicated for them now hooray!
One task, that was all you’d managed to get through today. You felt sick and heavy, opting to sit on the cold ground before your body made you, it was a battle to stay awake as sleep attacked you again.
It was only early afternoon and you’d struggled through your one task of sweeping, you were certain everyone at the hotel thought you to be lazy, even if they’d all told you otherwise.
You’d been sick like this for a long time, long before the petrification disease or the puppet frenzy, both events having a negative effect on the way you’d usually manage your symptoms.
And while you appreciated the sanctity you’d been spared at Hotel Krat, the nagging feeling of needing to repay Lady Antonia for her kindness was not helping your case.
You sat with your head in your hands, slipping in and out of consciousness, losing the battle again. Usually, Polendina would find you, send you to your room to rest and that would be it for the day, once you were in bed you found it hard to do much of anything else. Which you supposed was good for your body but it made your emotional well-being an absolute wreck.
Lady Antonia had asked you time and time again to be kinder to yourself, to feel accomplished of the things you could do and that you were welcome here no matter how sick you were, and she would know a thing or two about being sick.
But, you had a bad habit of being nasty to yourself, and with your sleep-related illness only seeming to get worse you couldn’t remember the last time you’d spoken kindly to yourself.
You felt like shit.
A hand at your shoulder, delicate and tender shook you but it didn’t do much to rouse you. Your vision swam uncomfortably through the gaps in your fingers, your head being too heavy to lift up. Hands grasped your wrists, pulling gently to reveal your face that was then taken into those same hands, one soft and warm, the other firm and cold.
With the weight of your head now being supported by P’s hands you could somewhat force yourself to look at him. His expression was unreadable, as always, but his presence was a balm to your spiralling thoughts.
The friendship of Geppetto’s Puppet had been good for you, P didn’t care how tired you were he was just happy to see you, he didn’t expect anything but your presence and that was something you could give freely, tired or not.
He tilted his head in question to what you assumed to be your position on the floor, slumped over rather uncomfortably.
“It just came on, I had to sit down,” you mumbled, he seemed to frown, getting down on one knee and shifting you against him to pick you up.
With you cradled to his chest, he ascended the stairs. You burrowed down against his chest, relishing in how nice it was to be looked after.
It was almost like the trip up to your room didn’t happen, one moment you were snug to P’s chest, the next you were under your sheets and propped up against the headboard. P took it upon himself to remove his shoes and coat and sit on the opposite side of the bed to keep you company.
“Sleepy?” P asked innocently, you nodded trying desperately to suppress another yawn.
“I-“ he started, a thoughtful look crossing his face, “-want to help. How do I help?”
He gently took your hand in his own, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles. The astounding amount of care he treated you with was sure to tear you apart in the best ways, making your exhausted mind spin.
“Just stay here with me for a bit,” You laid your head on his shoulder, “I think that’ll help.”
“Okay.”
He mimicked you, resting his head on top of yours, pulling the sheets further up your lap. Doing what he could to keep you comfortable, a concept he was still trying to grasp.
“Thank you P,” you mumbled, snuggling closer, “love you.”
He pressed a gentle kiss to your head, nose buried in your hair, “I love you too.”
#I wrote this for me and it was going to stay in my drafts but the other shots I've been working on aren't done yet and I am itching to post#yes this is how most of my days went unmedicated it was hell on earth#started playing lies of p just before I got the diagnosis and started on treatment actually#the boy makes me very very happy#this could probably be read platonically but I did not write it with that intention#hence the lil kiss at the end#but close friends kiss each other on the forehead sometimes#will be crossposted elsewhere later#cause i need to go to bed right this second#lies of p x reader#p x reader#pinocchio x reader#lies of p#god i have missed writing my silly little fanfics#self indulgent to the nth degree#dec 2023#🦋 let your conscience be your guide
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logging off again 😔 I’ll catch up this weekend
#— yap central#this week is such a drag#going from closing shift today where I finish at 11:15 pm#to a midday shift tomorrow from 11am-7pm#to an opening shift on Thursday 7am-3:15pm#it literally eats up all my spare time#like I have to just eat dinner then head to bed after closing so I can get up and shower before work tomorrow#then when I’m off tomorrow I have to make dinner then shower before bed again#bc ain’t no way I’m getting up earlier than I already have to for an opening#BUT maybe calming down a little after this week#so come Saturday I’ll try to catch up on some reading and hop into some mutuals inboxes 🙂↕️#miss you guys 🩷
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ARCANE DAY
Episode 4 and 5 in the tags and:
SALO BEING A VIKTOS FOLLOWER??? CRAZY. ALSO BOTH VIKTOR MISSING JAYCE AJDHSKSJ also cait has kinda calmed down... and I am sure she misses vi so I KNOW this is going to happen to her soon.... we aren't getting much of her feelings yet... she's still too onto Jinx to catch up on where ambessa is going...
DID JAYCE JUST KILL SALO??? WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE
Also vander not recognizing vi at first until she gives up fighting.... incredible ALSO vander and silco being miners and vi wearing her gauntlets that were initially thought out for miners.... damn
This is my favourite episode so far....
Episode 6 here:
Sky really being there..... of course she is....
Ambessa training caitlyn.... of course thats her new daughter akdjskms Tunnels in your eyes.... GIRL!!!!!!! THAT'S WHAT YOU DON'T NEED RIGHT NOW also the guy outside is a mage... ambessa is such a hypocrite
Vi and Jinx vs ambessa and cait.... this was always about class war don't get it twisted SINGED!!! TRAITOR!!!!
ARE THEY GOING TO SEE VIKTOR???? I looove how viktors touch on their faces leave "scars" so recognizable
Did isha just take the gem from vi's gauntlets??? Omg I wasn't expecting viktor to build a hippie commune to be honest omg he looks so good.... with the blonde underhairs.... and I do believe that's the same blanket....
And of course viktor knows who vander is.... nvm he diesnt know omg viktor asking for Powder.....
We are getting viktor horsegirl montage.... omg the vander momtage I can't..... omg they wanna stay.... singed is gonna fuck all this up NOOOOO 😭😭😭 they are already there I am going to kms
CAITLYN STOP THIS MADESSS!!! ✋️ CAITLYN!!!!! VI KILL THIS MAN!!! OMG CAITLYN...... mongoose... yeah.... and fuck you too.... CUPCAKE!!!! ABOUT TIME!!!! CAITLYN I SAID STOP THIS MADNESS WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!! And jayce too 😭😭😭 we're never making it out of the fissures
It's such a shame the spit on here won't work like on challengers.... one can only pray I guess
Jinx experiencing the "there's nothing more undoing as a daughter" moment.... incredible
"Your absence provided a vacuum I was able to fill" TO VI???? I KNEW THAT HAND HOLDING IN THE COMMANDER SCENE WAS SUS AKDHKASJ maddie exists and ambessa knows that and still.... it was not filling her mother's void...
YES CAITLYN!!! YES!!!!! VI is so hot I am distracted... ambessa was right.... now what the fuck will jayce fuck up??? Thats the question... NOT ANOTHER CHILD!!! jayce is a menace... the guys smiling at jayce are viktor... maybe the child even....
JINX KILL THAT MAN!!! NVM VANDER KILL THAT MAN!!! JAYCE YOU FUCKING MORON!!!!! JAYCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHEN I GET YOU JAAAYCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Isha what are you going to do omg 😭😭 did she kill vander... another powder... my god another week...
That was such a good fucking episode too.... and caitlyn didn't go insane when finding Jinx that is a step forwards but viktor can't be dead... no fucking way... he was giving himself away for the people and he was going to finally die by saving vander and look at what we got... no wonder viktor hates his guts. Jayce you were so good in act one.... what happened..... alright. Christ.... another week....
#FUCKING MADDIE?????????????? NO FUCKING WAYYYYYYYYYY#fucking maddie??? yes she is fucking her. christ. jinx was right vi should have hit before all of that.... maddie bet her to it 😭😭😭#i have tears in my eyes aldjaodjsk no fucking way what the heeeeeeell ooooh my goooood nowaaayyaaayyyaaaayyyy#and cait looks so pretty....... she is still focused on jinx.....#omg isha..... jinx gave up jinx??? what...... ambessa is making hextech... so jayce is still missing.... well she is trying#and mel is still missing too.... christ and ekkos friend is sympathetic to jinx... mmhmhmmmmm also ambessa clocks everything aldjakaj#cait has calmed down.... what is happening... she is now only violent towards jinx i guess. ambessa is opening that wound over and over oof#THE MIDDLE FINGER AKDBAKSBKANSKA sevika is unifying the underground i knew it!!! yes!!!! jinx show up!!!!#cait paying homage to her mother while rictus beats up some guy.... her suffering meking her an enabler to those actions... yeah#oh no..... they know.... isha lighting the fire like jinx did.... sevika getting her arm cut... ISHA BEAT HIM UUUP!!! JINX!!!! omg singed..#enforcer vi becoming part of her hallucinations... its so over... also silco... jinx kill this man. not ambessa... omg jinx run....#she likes iiiit yeeeeahhhh.... ekkos friend... . and THE BROTHEL LADY... SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS!!! SHE IS SO GLAD!!! WARWICK!! FUCK SHIT UP!!#OMG HE RECOGNIZES HER!!!!! HE SPEAKS!!!!! WHAT A FUCKING MASSACRE OUTSIDE BUT HE DOES RECOGNIZE HER!!!!#CALL VIIIII THROW A PARTY WE ARE A FOUR PEOPLE HOUSEHOLD NOW!!! FIVE WITH SEVIKA!!! COME ON AT LEAST TRY!!!#his eyes changing color... singed you are nothing compared to a fathers love... jinx complaining about not really having killed powder....#she didnt and vander recognises that.... amazing omg........#THE CAIT IN BED HALLUCINATION AND JINX THERE!!!! its so weird seeing them both like this.... jinx wanting to help him.... ofc...#THEY GOT VANDER???? also you know whats funny... the cape makes cait look like silco... it looks red even#why is singed based.... OMG MEL!!! HER BROTHER!!!!! OH MY GOD VIIII LOOKS SO GOOOD!!!! HER GAUNTLETS ARE PAINTED BLACK TOO AKDBAKS#bitch mittens (not even diy) damn vi she got you hard THE BITCH SLAP omg vi... your big sister duties...#singed actually venering vander.... do not help the opressor singed!! i just said you were based!!! IS MEL PREGNANT?!?!??!#she does enjoy her puzzles..... oh of course he is an hallucination.... the first time he appeared behind her....#silco and vanders old hq..... omg MORE DOOMED YAOI...... vander apologised but silco didn't read the letter 😭😭 as vi reaches for jinx omg#vi wearing her enforcer plaque without the plaque.... slay but why. no vander no loke he is a dog akdhaksj IS VANDER THEIR ACTUAL FATHER#NO FUCKING WAY A LOVE TRIANGLE AND EACH ONE GETS OME DAUGHTER AIDHOQSJOSAKL i need a fucking moment....#well its not vanders.... BUT THE SAME CUP AND STRAW FOR POWDER OMG!!! THE FATHERS THAT STEPPED UP!!!CONNEL GET RECKT!!!!#bedrock and blisters my fucking god. vander and silco wanting to build a better zaun for her daughters... AND JINX AND VI ARE GONNA MAKE IT#vander looking at the woman she likes whos hair is purple: ive always liked the name violet. im going to be sick!!!! my god!!!#MY GOOOOOD!!!!!!! VANDER HUGGING VI!!! THE SHOT OF HER OFFERING JINX TO JOIN WILL END MEE!!!!#watching arcane
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I’m worried about Juni but Tyrell won’t hear it :/ She is SO sleepy and TOO chill almost all of the time since being on Prozac and she is definitely more well behaved but it feels like it stole her light :( She’s also not a puppy anymore but she’s way too young to lose her spark. I keep bringing up lowering the dose or seeing how she does off of it but Tyrell gets all huffy. Sure she’s easier to manage. But who even is Juni without her chaos.
#I miss bed time zoomies and wrestlin#she’s elderly level chill#I feel like she’s learned a lot in her time on it and it’s worth seeing how she does with that knowledge off of it#before leaving her on for life#she barely ever bites me anymore! I don’t remember the last time I said dop bita me! 😭#where is my little demon baby!#I asked Thea if she had any opinions on Juni’s chill level and she hasn’t been concerned BUT#1) she spends little time with Juni BECAUSE 2) she cannot read dogs at all despite us desperately trying to teach her and Juni growls at her#for it when she unknowingly pushes her too far#so I’m not super comforted that she hasn’t been concerned but it does help to know
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yall got any dave centric fanfic recs??
#my brain is currently goo n ive just been rereading ones ive already read before dsjkgfhd#(just finished my reread of second best and i started over on run n go last night..................................... aahahahhaaaa#i need to like............. actually keep going with rng instead of putting it off endlessly... but thast 2 much commitment atm#n i dont super remember what was going on where i was atm oops#also its fun seeing the dynamics they had at the start again <3)#but yah.................... ive read a good chunk of stuff but#am tired n also curious what stuff yall would recc#am not picky with ships (i generally lean more towards gen stuff)#so uhh if yall got any hidden gems or popular fics i may have missed.................................. feel free 2 send em mi way <3<3<3<<3#davesprite focused are also encouraged ofc#dave also doesnt have 2 be the only focus but ya kno#ok i should start getting ready for bed.............#ungooify my brain with sleep#rambles#damn i sure am chatty today#what forgetting ur meds will do to a mf#✌️😎
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So guess who completely forgot that chocolate milk and strawberry milk is such a big internet thing and made a poll in the heat of the moment and now my inbox is full of T H E funniest tags but also now i can't find any of the non chocolate/strawberry milk debate stuff in the chocolate/strawberry milk flood i am drowning in
GOOD GOLLY
#i genuinely dont mind how bad im getting smoked because it is CO M E D Y G O L D#i will gladly put my dignity on the line in public as long as its a funny story later#the person i was debating with likes to scroll through the tags while im ignoring my phone#and read through her favorite of the mean choccy milk tags#right to me <3 its a good daily routine#anyway please universe do not let this one become a ten thousand billion note one i miss having like 12 notifications all about the blorbos#FR IM SURE I ALREADY SAID THIS BUT IF YOU NEED ME FEEL FREE TO SEND AN ASK and ill see it. late#the seeing it late is unrelated to the choccy milk thing#ive already made this announcement right before the poll thing#im making it again because theres a new reason im not seeing anybodys stuff#it is; being overwhelmed#in a good way i promise its really funny#but also oh gosh i have made a tactical error#i am lying in bed typing this instead of sleeping#if you read this far heres a fun fact for you; the human eye can percieve more shades of green than any other color#neat right#🟩📗🟢🍏🥗🥬💚♻️🐍🍃🌱🍀🤢🌲🌿#green :^)#ramblin
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friends i will be honest. im not doing so good
#i am so so homesick#not made better by being actually sick too#i wanna be home in my own bed drinking tea and reading comic books with my cats#but i have a whole more week here left before i can go home#idk not going anywhere with this i just miss being home and feeling very miserable rn#🐭📓
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hiiiii i have returned from the depths of the underworld (self imposed hiatus) (3 week break that felt like 3 years)
#posting this then going 2 bed so i actually have incentive to start posting again i’ve been meaning to for like. two days now LOL#i’ve just been genuinely stressed LMAO but i started reading a new book n getting into new media so things mightttt be okay.#u know its been a wild time if smth convinced me to take a break from tumblr for like a month#n it was lmao. first it was the fatigue then it was the health issues which the fatigue stemmed from#then it was doing work n then it was literally nobody cares am i alive yes am i doing well sure(?)#am i gonna be active WE'LL SEE#genuinely missed my mutuals which is why i was bad at this i still checked in from time 2 time just did not post#im like 5 days off of this being an actual month long break but i was like waittt lemme post smth before#the month ends i dont wanna skip february so yeah#tldr most chronically online person ever thinks that like 3 weeks away from her blog is like 3 years. iam right#my text#🍅🍅🍅 this was a long rant boooooo get off the stage#i probs sound like a hectic mess bc i am anyway goodnight happy bhm happy valentines happy february hope it has been kind
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skipping class but staying on campus to do work for. another class. bc i said i'd have it done before friday bc i'm scared of telling profs no so now i have to read all of robinson crusoe this weekend and watch the nbc pilot of the crusoe series on top of finishing the 2 late essays bc i deluded myself into believing i have a chance of finishing this annotated bibliography in 2 hours. without half the books i'm citing. tee hee <3
#if anyone knows anything about anything hit me up 🫶🙌☝️#also one of my sources is essentially just synthesizing all of my other sources with So Little original commentary bc it was originally a#dissertation that got published as a book but i need to use it bc it's the only source of its type i could find and my prof has a checklist#-_-#and she said that if i explain why it's so late i can maybe get an extension of my extension but how do i tell her that i'm sick and burnt#out and got locked out of my room for 24 hours and am depressed and haven't been sleeping or eating well and i miss my friends and having a#library to work in and my antidepressants have taken away my ability to have my quarterly sobbing dry heaving breakdown that i rely to give#me the adrenaline boost and catharsis and clarity to actually lock in and force myself to finish big scary assignments#i can probably tell her about the sickness and the room thing but truly i'm just overwhelmed and not coping and that doesn't feel like a#real reason (bc i'm depressed)#i need to knock myself out at like 10:30 tonight so i can wake up at like 7 tomorrow and work somewhere that isn't my house but i have#rehearsal until 10 amd i need to shower before i actually have a freak out that no one finds endearing or relatable#i think the shower might be a big part of the brain fog . who could've seen this coming.........#i meant to shower last night but i was too busy reading 50 shades of grey and mists of avalon (both for class) and i was up until like 5#god i need to sleep. tomorrow will be better#if you see me on here past like 11:30 please yell at me to go to bed i've lost the ability to stop my self-destructive habits#that was super tmi . sowwy gang#a post
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Sometimes I wonder about worms. Like where the fuck do they come from. You can dig and find them but it isn't like there are tunnels, they are just there, snails pace serpentine through the dirt and granules. At a depth shallow enough the dirt above doesn't crush them, yet deep enough you gotta dig a bit to really find them down there.
Just squirming and waiting to get hooked in some fish on a time waxing off the full moon.
#yeah I had thought abouts wanting to play woth your hair as I laid in bed after convincing you to try smoking...for the ballet#I'm like a meme#the world is a madhouse#I wish I could be happy with manisfestos of captial reigns of empires read in game format for his own mentality going forward for a time#no it's all i obsession over my power (kinda)....(more than kinda) but not in a selfish way which is hard to explain but true#the stakes are high and the valley is low#in the valley I slow...in the valley I growing#but an eternity for me is no time for you#some greater part of me understands the greater part of me though#put on a pedestal of willing enslavement#nah you were so hot... first thought....wonder when she'll finally work her way over....a couple dudes are like looking#trying to get the fresh set off#oh no the hot broke 18 year old that's the one#wow this is way more intimate than I was expecting#if it wasn't you I would have been like its cool you ain't gotta get on me like that#dance duh okay george#gorgeous is a word I have used to describe you.....this is truth#years ago before I knew I knew you a bunch of times already#telling her to call you trying to temper the Want in my voice#but....for it to work out she has to be cool. we all have to be cool#amd hot as fuck for each other#all deep and particularl#calculus#but even my 99 was dope because in chinese he was like you fogot +c#one time I missed a quiz but he was cool about it#I would like to lament I never got a reply to the email I sent him later#yes please be my super sweaty workout partner and then I get salt licks#they're soooo good#it's like shhhh#let me enjoy your honey musk
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this is officially worse than when i had e.coli i can definitely say that now
#emeto n illness etc its pretty gnarly and i dont have a filter so read at your own risk#its been 3 fucking days of barely sleeping and having that sleep interrupted by severe abdominal pain and vomiting#and then during the day i feel almost normal again! and then right before i go to bed the pain comes back and then im just up all night#this is the fourth day of work ive fucking missed this week and i literally want to jump off a cliff#this is worse than my ulcers its worse than e.coli and i havent slept since i woke up at 11:30pm. and its 8am.#ive been shaking and vomiting all night and im soo so tired. i need this to stop. the pain definitely got to like an 8 last night#and all i could do was lay on the couch and just writhe and whine because i literally cannot keep anything down!!#not even my.sleep meds that i unsuccessfully tried to take twice and threw them up both times#my whole body is pins and needles from fevers or chills or sleep deprivation i dont rly know or care#this is the first time in 8+ hrs ive been able to look at my phone without the nausea worsening tenfold so im dropping all of this#and if you think all of this feels bad physically! wait till you hear how it feels emotionally and mentally!
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