#idk how to wrap it up really so there you have it
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oatmealthighs · 2 days ago
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plug!eren x blackfem!reader
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 contents: nsfw 18+, MDNI. reader indulges 🍃, eren is overprotective, public sex, maybe semi public? idk. daddy/mama usage. might be some slightly toxic dynamics. but nothing too serious. rushed ending cus i suck at endings 💔 a sequel full of fluff will be coming soon out of this.
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 author's note: omg i haven't posted in like months. but anyways what would i be without dropping the token plug!eren drabble. nothing too crazy, just some bathroom sex. also there are instances where there are texts but i got too lazy and didn't bother making texts out of them mwahahahaaa sorry in advance. this is barely proofread and not my best so if there are mistakes i am sorry. requests are open! also look out for a tengen x reader x wives fic coming really soon. like this week soon
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the feeling of your phone buzzing in the back pocket of your true religion jeans whisked your attention away from the pearled blunt you had pinched between your fingers.
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your glossy lips curled into a little smirk, your acrylics clicking at the keyboard of your screen.
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you've been pushing eren's cute lil buttons all night. honestly all day... but you didn't feel bad for making him sweat. he's been trying you as of late.
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you and eren were supposed to be spending some quality time together last night, and he was specifically supposed to be over your place by no later than 8:00. you had the whole shabang... bath and body works candle burning out, led lights on and set to the color purple, some of his favorite snacks and some dinner and dessert you had wrapped up for him that you had made earlier. you were planning on watching a show with him, giving him a scalp massage while he played his playstation that he always brought whenever he came over, and give him the best head he's ever received that night before riding him into the sunset, but all those plans went soiled. 8:00 came, and on the dot he had sent a text message about him having to go make a few more drop offs, then he'd come to you. 8 turned to 9, then 10:30, then 1... fucking... AM.
was it fucked up you didn't answer the door when he came knocking finally? kinda, but the guilt didn't last long when you thought about how he practically stood you up.
eren was a popular plug on the university you attended. you knew friday is usually the day that people were trying to cop, given it was majority people's payday and the weekend, but you were hoping that he would close up shop early just this one time for you. his clientele would live-- there were plugs by the dozen on campus. but eren knew wasn't none of them fucking with his shit. you weren't sure what other outcome you were expecting. he never turned his head away from possible income.
eren already knew he fucked up, but he knew ultimately in the end it was going to be worth it. the extra money was going to go into play towards his proposal to ask you to be his girlfriend, and no amount of your anger was going to get that out of him. he was prepared to keep his mouth shut, throw away the key, and take his lashings like a man. so when he was met with radio silence, he was flabbergasted.
when he pulled up to your crib and didn't get an answer from him knocking on your door and calling your phone, he figured you fell asleep and resulted in retreating to his abode. the next morning, when he woke up to find that you didn't respond to his apology texts from last night, it made him sit up in his bed and squint at his phone with crust-ridden eyes.
no response? it was so unlike you. usually you would respond with a barrage of text messages stating your feelings, or at the very least he'd get a passive-aggressive dry text from you. but to be met with nothing at all made his gut twist in a disgustingly vexing way.
he rubs at his temples, sending you a "good morning baby" text before opening the safari app and going to the local floral shop's delivery site.
later that afternoon, eren's sitting in his blacked out durango when he receives email confirmation that the flowers have been delivered, the low hum of the strong engine the only thing somewhat soothing his frazzled nerves. he made sure to get your favorite, and tried to ask them to incorporate your favorite color as much as possible.
he checks your location as he hits his blunt, releasing the smoke from his mouth and inhaling it through his nostrils. he already knows your home, having your schedule downpack. and you were. so why didn't you say anything about the flowers? did you not like them? he sends you a text, saying, "i sent you some flowers," staring at the screen and awaiting your response.
yess, you know he sent you flowers, and you loved them. you had gasped when you found them on your porch, bright and vibrant in color and smelling so freshly sweet. you had already cut the stems and put them in some warm water in a lovely vase. you almost wanted to text eren, to tell him how much you loved them and thank you, but the strong annoyance you had from last night still lingered. with a twist of your lips you disregarded your phone on the kitchen counter, humming a tune as you moved about the kitchen to prepare you a nice lunch.
eren releases a defeated sigh as he puts his jay out, not even in the mood to smoke anymore. mopily, he clicks off his phone, shifting his gear to drive to make more plays.
he spends the rest of the day pondering ways to possibly pull a conversation from you, and a lightbulb flickers in his head when he recalls you saying you were running low on weed. eren always gives you gas free of charge, one of the special privileges that comes with being his favorite girl. he opens his phone to text you again.
doechii's expressive voice flows through your speaker at a volume level most would call excessive. but you didn't care. anything to drown out the annoying pensive thoughts of eren's sexy little face. "i ain't a killer but don't push me, don't wanna have to turn a nigga guts into SOUP BEANS!" no, really, doechii.
your phone vibrates on your vanity as you rummage through your closet for a cute outfit to wear tonight, striding over to your phone with nimbleness. you figured it'd be hitch, since you and her were accompanying each other to the kickback tonight and she was asking either what time you wanted to go or what you were wearing. your hypothesis was proven incorrect when you saw eren's name on your notification wall instead. just him asking if you wanted to him to drop off some more weed for you.
your heart twinged ever-so-softly at the thought of you ignoring your baby. you missed him. it was embarrassing to say this was the longest you went without talking to him. but how would he know you were serious if you just gave in now?
you wanted to respond and tell him you were cool. hitch was bringing the weed tonight. but you refrained, if anything that would get him all the more riled up. eren doesn't like you smoking others weed, his reasoning being he doesn't "trust their product." he was so sexy when he was protective. you remember when you told him you copped from someone else when he had to go off campus for a little bit to see his family, and he spent a half hour inspecting it on the scale with his phone flashlight.
eren let out an irritated growl after constantly checking his phone for 10 minutes, still no reply from you in his notifications. he wanted to tell you you were dragging it, but he knew you weren't. you had every right to be pissed with him given he had promised you this quality time and swore he would make time for you. you were never a stickler for too much attention, but with eren always on the run it was easy for him to neglect you. he's been getting better at it though. until last night.
connie's name flashes across eren's phone screen. he slides the answer button right and lets his car sync the call to the radio. "yo."
"what's good, man. you coming to the kickback tonight? it's gonna be at jean's place." eren rolls his neck until he hears it pop. he knows you'll be there.
"yeah, i might come. today's been slow. don't got nothin' else to do."
"damn, i know that voice. what'd you do this time?"
eren weakly chuckles at connie's intuition. "what can i say, business was booming like crazy last night. we were supposed to hang out but my phone just kept ringing."
connie let out a long sigh over the line. "typical eren, never knows when to close shop." he pauses. "you know you're the asshole, right?"
"yeah," eren groans, shutting his car off and putting his phone on speaker. "i know. i plan on making it up to her."
"yeah, how? surely not with some weed and dick." connie snorts. "[name]'s a nice girl, you plan on locking it down with her anytime soon? i see the way floch be looking at her."
"he wouldn't dare," eren denies, the simple thought of it just making his eye twitch. while you and eren weren't official, basically everyone in the friend group and the vicinity knew y'all were on each other bad. but some assholes just didn't respect boundaries. he noticed floch's gaze would linger on you a little longer than he deemed appropriate. how they would trail your body. he noticed the way his cheeks would blush when you would speak to him in passing or make small talk.
"i dunno, man," connie instigated, smugness in his voice. "but, bring a quarter with you. it's on me, i'm gonna zelle you."
"just send me $50." eren and connie exchange a few last words before they end the call, leaving eren in silence as he stares at the gray wall of the parking garage he was parked in. he didn't know what he was gonna do about you.
eren always tended to look the sexiest when you were mad at him, or he was upset with you. he always would wear his hair down, taupe tresses brushing his broad shoulders. he'd always wear a black tee and some baggy sweatpants that always had you imagining what it was he had underneath. it was nothing you haven't seen, but it was always a pleasant surprise.
you felt your defiance wavering when he and all is glory walked in to jean's house, high as fuck. you swore you could smell his ysl cologne from across the room.
"you okay girl?" sasha questions, her eyebrows pinching in concern as she leans into your eyesight. you blink your mascara coated lashes, giving her a smile.
"yeah, my man just walked in. he always looks so good when im pissed at him."
"it's a trap. don't fall for it." hitch scoffs, her hazel eyes trained on the blunt she was busy rolling. her thighs were squeezed together to keep her carebear rolling tray in place. "don't even look his direction."
"i forget hitch is such a hard-ass. how does marlo manage," ymir jokes. historia chuckles, her head resting against her girlfriend's broad shoulder.
as their conversation goes on, your eyes can't help but find eren again through the decent amount of people crowding the bottom floor of the house, watching him interact with connie and hand him a bag of what you assumed to be cannabis. his turquoise eyes cut across the room, and you know he's looking for you. you look away before any eye contact can happen. when you feel eyes burn into your skin, you know he spots you.
the night involves you acting as if he doesn't exist, keeping your back turned and acting like you're too busy to acknowledge your phone notifications. when you finally light the blunt hitch pearled, you know eren texts you asking where did you get that. you chuckle to yourself as your thoughts were confirmed when you snuck a peek at your phone.
eren feels anger welling in his body as he watches you from a safe distance, lounging against the wall and his eyes never leaving you. you knew what you were doing at this point. wearing them jeans that made your ass sit so perfect and a crop top that teased at your skin and your belly button piercing. your hair was in curls, and your glittery lip gloss shone in the low light of the room. he knew you probably had on his favorite perfume too. that vanilla one he loved so much.
"just go talk to her dude," connie yells over the aggravatingly loud jersey mixed song that was booming through the surround sound, his words slightly slurred from the drink he's been sipping on. eren furrows his thick brows as he hits his spliff, watching the tip burn bright orange as he shuts his eyes for a moment. "and you better hurry. i think tonight's the night floch makes his move."
"connie, shut the fuck up." eren's tone is firm and warning as he feels the vein in his neck rising to the surface of his skin. he finally opens his eyes, glancing at you, and what he sees makes his stomach cave and everything around him turn red.
floch, with his ugly fucking haircut and that ugly dangling earring had the audacity to be all up in your glory, smiling sheepishly as you were saying something to him. he doesn't know what you were saying, your back was to him, but the way your head swayed and your hands were moving he knew you were talking.
honestly eren was never this defensive of someone before. maybe it was your constant insistence of you being fine on your own. "boy, i'm grown," you'd say to him. it only made his instinct to protect you grow stronger.
he knew well you could handle your own. but how fucking dare him?! it's like floch was begging for an ass whooping!
he wasn't actually. he was begging for you to send him the homework answers for your chem class. "not gonna lie floch, i haven't even looked at that shit yet," you admit with a shrug, your lips pulled into a friendly smile.
floch groans as he rubs the back of his neck. "i'm for sure gonna flunk that class. i might just say fuck it and retake it next year."
"not if i can help it," you interject, furrowing your brows. "we pass together, we fail together. i'll send you the answers on groupme tomorrow when i finish."
floch pumps his fist. "man, you're the fucking best, [name]. if you weren't in there i dunno what i'd–"
a hard body brushes past floch, harshly and intentionally slamming his shoulder into theirs. "hey, man, what the–"
you smell eren before you see him, wearing that delicious cologne that's stained into your bed sheets. you look up to find him looking down at you, fire in his sea green irises as he glares at you.
you feign oblivion, lifting an eyebrow at him. "hey," you speak first.
"why haven't you been responding to my texts." his voice is curt, but still soft nonetheless. you feel your girls looking at you intently to see how you were going to play this.
"been busy, sorry," you respond, not sounding much too apologetic.
eren cuts his eyes to the right to see floch still standing there, much to his distaste, a look of confusion plastered across his face. "you need somethin'?" he asks him, a foreign, cutting edge to his question.
"i was just trying to ask her about the homework, dude," floch bites back defensively, taking the smallest step back.
your dainty hand trails up to grab eren's forearm, your soft, irreplicable touch quelling his aggravation. you swear you could feel his taut muscles relax at your contact, knowing he was probably deprived. so dramatic.
"eren, calm down," you reprimand him gently, but sternly. you gave floch an apologetic glance. "sorry, floch. see you tuesday."
floch nods, his auburn eyebrows creased in the middle as he glanced at eren, then back at you, before departing. in tandem, you let go.
"what's your problem," you seethe, but not loud enough for your friends to hear. "you damn near made that boy shit his pants."
eren sucked his teeth, closing his eyes to roll them as he clenched his jaw. "why are you ignoring me, [name]," his low voice is strained, constricting his internal anger to the best of his ability. his high was blown, the music was too loud, you smelled and looked too good, it was all too much.
you place a hand on your hip, your beautiful eyes passive, but holding a glint of hurt behind them. "just collect your breath. i don't wanna talk about it here... even though you know what the problem is-"
"yo, [name], wanna hit this again?" saved by the bell.
"yes, pleaseeee," you drawl. you turn on heels, but not before telling eren, "i'll see you later."
shortly after eren departed to god knows where, and you got high as hell, was when you received that text. and you don't know if it was the marijuana making you fuzzy and horny, the growing urge to just be in his arms, or what, but you complied.
as you brushed and weaved between drunken bodies, you couldn't subdue the underlying feelings of anxiety that swelled in your chest. you didn't know what to expect. but you knew one thing for certain, you were gonna give eren a piece of your mind tonight.
when you finally made it to the bathroom door, you released a breath you didn't even realize you were holding, shaking yourself of your jittery nerves before your knuckles rapped against the hollow wood of the door.
it wasn't even three seconds before eren cracked the door, and before you could say anything, you were yanked in.
you squealed at his presentation of strength, the butterflies in your stomach downward-diving straight to your core. "well, damn! what happened to hello? how are you?!"
eren ignored your playful reprimanding, instead using the time to soak and drink you in. you were so pretty, fussing at him like that. the way your glossy lips twisted as you spoke on about nothing relevant, the way your hair swayed with every movement you made. every muscle in his body urged him to kiss you, breathe you in.
"whatcha call me in here for? it's hot as hell..." you murmured, leaning against the cool wood of the door in attempt to catch your breath.
eren was quiet as he loomed on the opposite side of the bathroom, half-lidded cyan eyes carefully trained on you. you lifted your eyebrows with a shake of your head, prompting him to go on, your arms crossed against your glittery chest. "you're so pretty," he hums, a side smirk playing at his lips, showing his pretty white teeth that you wish you were nibbling on you just about right now.
"can't smooth-talk your way out of everything, eren," you resisted with a strain in your voice, turning to face the mirror to the left of you instead of him. "i'm still upset with you."
"rightfully so," eren agrees, slowly closing the distance between the two of you, backing you against the cool oak wood of the bathroom door. "'m sorry baby, you know i love spending time with you more than anything in this world–"
"i beg to differ," you interject. eren rests his eyes as he clenches his jaw, withholding a sigh. "all i asked was that you put me first for one night... and you couldn't even do that."
"baby, listen to me." eren's large hand engulfs yours, the warmth of his palm spreading through your limbs like wildfire. "words can't even begin to express how deeply sorry i am. i know i fucked up... i know. but, i had reason i've been wanting to work a lot more often as of late." he pauses. he couldn’t possibly pop his question in a bathroom at connie’s party. you’d hate him ten times more than you already do in his moment.
you cock your brow, looking up at him through those pretty lashes that framed your eyes so well. “i’m waiting, eren.”
he sucks in a deep breath, making the sound he usually makes when he’s about to say something you don’t like. “just… trust me. okay?”
that was enough to make you head for the door, reaching out to twist at the knob before he grabs at your wrist. “man, move,” you mutter, over the bullshit. you were over it all: the lies, the empty promises. and you were especially over being crowded in this bathroom with him, because you felt your resolve faltering with each passing second you remained in his presence. you felt like an animal resisting every primal instinct and bone in your body, begging you to let him touch you. it was borderline pathetic.
“you aren’t going anywhere, [name].” he meant that in more ways than one.
“how much you wanna bet?”
the frustrated glint in his aquamarine eyes and the knit in his thick brows made your knees give.
“ummm, have you guys seen [name]?” hitch asks after a good thirty minutes fly by since you first departed the group, skating her eyes around the living room with a quizzical glance.
ymir snorts. “you already know she ran off with that boy,” she exhaled the smoke she was holding in her chest out towards the ceiling, running her long fingers through historia’s golden locks. “wouldn’t be surprised if she already dipped off with him.”
not quite. instead, you and eren were still in the bathroom, your ass on the bathroom counter and your head resting against the mirror as eren was crouched before you, low to the ground as he slurped at your pussy like a man starved. he looks up at you from his place between your thighs, tongue flicking at your swollen clit before taking it into his mouth to suck on it whole. you let out a breathy, high pitched moan, your eyes rolling behind your closed eyelids as eren gazed up at you with hearts in his eyes. you were always so fucking beautiful, whether you were mad at him, grinning at him, or cumming for him.
“fuuuck, i think i’m bouta cum again,” you whimper, your eyebrows pinched as your orgasm brewed at a slow boil within the pit of your stomach. you already left your mark all over the marble sink, leaking down your thighs, and all over eren’s chin. but when was that ever enough to satiate his thirst?
“do it, baby,” he breathes, french kissing your pussy before speaking again. “you know i want it.”
“get it outta me, then,” you retort, a sexy simper pulling at your lips, and the darkened glare he have you through heavy eyelids made your pussy squeeze.
his big hands grip your thighs, blunt nails digging in your skin as he begins rocking your lower body up and down, sliding his long tongue from between your pussy lips to your ass with each bounce. you let out a squeal of surprise, your pink toes wriggling as he just kept doing it, over and over and over. you hear him, moaning with each stride, reveling in the saccharine taste of you. his dick felt like it was bouta break, restricted to his boxer briefs, and he felt the sticky precum leaking on his thigh. he needed to fuck you. but he always prioritizes you over all.
your orgasm bust inside you, your pussy profusely contracting as your juices coated eren’s face. “fuck, yeah,” he encourages in you, his voice in a low growl of satisfaction. he didn’t stop, cleaning you up and slurping your pussy clean. you flinched as he left a final loving kiss to your aching clit, and he chuckled as he stood to his feet. your eyes couldn’t help but look at his crotch, you couldn’t help but smirk at the prominent tent of his stiff dick being held hostage in his sweatpants. “turn around for me. i want you to see me fuck you.”
you slid off off the counter, ringing your panties off the ankle they were hanging on to, before turning around, leaning against the sink and arching your back. you looked back at him, gazing at him tauntingly. “whatchu waiting for?”
“cool it,” he warns you playfully, his thumbs hooking into the bands of his sweats. "don't bite off more than you can chew."
"i've had mouthfuls of you. i promise you i can chew."
"look at the mirror."
you turn back forward, looking at eren in the reflection. he was so pretty, his hickory locks tousled around yet still framing his face beautifully. his bottom lip was pinched between his teeth as he shifts his pants to fall below his knees before rolling his briefs down his thighs. he lifts his tshirt up, showcasing his tan abs that had a slight shimmer of perspiration as he readies the head of his dick at your opening. then, with steady hips and a deep breath, he pushes forward.
him putting his cock inside of you was such an irreplicable feeling, you don't know how to explain it. to feel his girth stretching you, giving you a burn that was so deliciously good, always made your head spin. you whine, pushing your ass back just a little bit to help eren bottom out in you. he cusses under his breath, grounding himself with a hand on your ass cheek as his pelvis met flush against your tailbone.
you felt his dick twitching inside you, and you couldn't help but let out a satisfied moan as you let your head drop against your arms folded over the sink. eren grit his teeth, his jaw clenching as he tries to regain his composure. you were so warm, so wet, so greedy judging by the way your pussy squeezed him like a vice. any sudden movements and he was bound to nut in you.
suddenly, the bathroom knob jiggles, followed by pounding against the door. you jump, your muscles stiffening as fear tickled at your tummy. eren hisses, his nails digging crescents in your cocoa buttered skin at you tightening around him. "uh, anyone in there? i gotta piss!" connie. what are the fucking odds.
"uhh, give me a few minutes!" you yell, your voice uncharacteristically shrill from your newborn anxiety as you looked back at eren with wide eyes. "maybe we should-"
you were shut up with one, heavy stroke, eren almost completely unsheathing himself before bottoming out in you again. your words died in your throat, replaced with a gasp.
"uh, okay...?" the end of connie's okay drawls up in the end. "wait, [name], is that you? are you straight in there?"
"yes... fuck, yes!" you sputter out, squeezing your eyes shut as eren picks up his speed a bit, but not his power. he was gonna do you a favor and not fuck you too dumb in here. he wants you to at least have some chance of walking out of here on your own two feet. "i'm fine!"
"okay, okay! i'll just go upstairs." after a few seconds, you hear connie shifting away, but that genuinely wasn't your main focus. eren was rolling his hips, making sure the tip of his dick hit that sweet spot that made you sing with every. single. thrust. your head was down, resting against the counter, your eyes stuck in the back of your head as you took every inch of him with grace. your moans were mere whimpers, trying your best to muffle them with the inside of your arm.
eren sees his phone vibrate from his place on the hanging shelf beside him, and he smirks to himself when he takes a brisk glance at the banner:
convict: [name]'s in the bathroom. she didnt sound too great so u should prolly check in on her
eren groans under his breath, leaning forward to mold his abdomen against the curvature of your spine. that motion was enough to make him feel like he was touching your stomach. "what are you doing?" he purrs, flicking his tongue out to lick at the shell of your ear. he feels you shiver, your shoulders shuddering as a sex-soaked cry escaped your lips. "i said i want you to watch me fuck you. why are you hiding that pretty face?"
you had nothing but a pathetic moan to offer as a response, and he scoffed to himself, a smirk curling at his lips. he stands straight, both of his hands settling at your lovehandles as he begins sending you to poundtown. the impact of his hips against your ass was loud, and there was no doubt that if anyone came to the door they would hear you getting the shit fucked out of you. "be a big girl, mama," he muses. his hand reaches for your curls, gripping your tresses to pull your head up and back. you squealed, your eyebrows pinching at the burning sensation. you mustered up the courage to flutter your eyes open to be met with the godly sight of your man, looking down at you throw those thick eyelashes, his cheeks tinting pink from the overwhelming heat of the small, crammed space. " watch me while i fuck you."
his wish is your command as you watch him through teary eyes, licking your lips at the feeling his hand snaking up the arch of your spine to come around and grip your chin. the pads of his fingers rest on your cheeks, slightly squeezing as he snaps his hips against you from behind. his eyes are boring into you, clouded by lust with a hint of adoration, watching the way your face contorts into pleasure-ridden expressions. he's watching the way your plump lips wrap around his thumb, the way your titties bounce with every deep thrust and threaten to spill out your victoria's secret bra and tank top, the way that fat ass jiggled and made waves every time he drilled his dick in you. you were perfect. from your pretty face, to your loving heart that had a padlock with his initial on it, to your gushing pussy that would squirt all over him just for him.
"this pussy is so perfect," eren hums, looking down in awe as he watches the way you cream and squeeze on his shaft. "it's like it was made just for me. was it, baby? this is just my pussy, right?"
"you know that, daddy," you slur, feeling your orgasm coming to a head. you were so ready to release, your pussy just aching to cum. you hear him give a chuckle, his hips speeding up in tandem.
"i think you're ready to cum now. i want it all on my dick. can you do that for me, princess? or is that too much to ask of you?"
but before you could even muster a response, it was as if a tsunami hit your pussy, because the way your juices sprayed against his upper thighs was a damn shame. eren lets out a moan of appreciation, biting his lip as he lets your orgasm ride out and coat his dick. he gives your ass a few appreciative cracks, making you tighten around his cock until you managed to collect your breath.
eren slowly begins unsheathing himself from you, his dick still solid as concrete but he honestly wasn't concerned with getting his own nut off right now. after all, this wasn't going to be the last time he was to be in you tonight. as soon as he takes you back to his place, he was gonna fuck you through the mattress and the bedframe.
...
"girl, there you are! you've been missing for like, an hour!" you bumped into hitch on your way towards the front door, eren being your guide but you squeezed his hand to let him know to stop. she shifts her eyes to him, then looks back at you with an "oh-i-see" look. "you headed home?"
"yeah, eren's gonna take me."
"okay, be safe," hitch adjusts your shirt, tugging the top hem over the shadows of your peeking bra. "call me when you get in."
"she will." eren assures hitch, and she nods, the two of you slipping away from the crowd and going off into the night.
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the-family-business-83 · 2 days ago
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Unexpected Calling – Part 2
Part 1 | Part 3 | Masterlist
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Fandom: Marvel
Prompt: A world class contract killer finds an envelope at his dead drop. Inside are $23.42 in short change and a letter handwritten by a 9-year old girl.
Type: Series
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader's daughter (platonic obviously), Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Genre: fluff, action, slight angst, might get smutty but idk yet
Warnings: None for this chapter, it's really all fluff. Maybe a slight disclaimer about a lil kid interacting with a total stranger and some mom panic, but nothing bad happens!
Word count: 2.4k
Send me an ask to let me know if you wanna be added to/removed from the taglist!!
A/N: Trying to let myself just enjoy wirting and not overthink it all too much, so I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a little bit of filler but I thought it was cute and it was fun to write. And yes, I know, it took forever to get posted. I had a lot going on, and I still may not be posting super frequently but to those of you who love this series so far, rest assured: I will still post, even if it's slow.
Any and all mistakes are my own as this chapter is unbeta'd, I did all my own editing/proofreading for this.
Text dividers made by @firefly-graphics <3
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Transportation had really come a long way from what he'd been so used to when he was younger. There were planes that's the air of the skies with their quiet rumblings, helicopters that you could hear coming long before they appeared, and cars. Cars were so different these days, he'd gotten used to them but it just wasn't the same. Some part of him still couldn't wrap his mind around the concept of phones being able to connect to the car. And that was just one of many new upgrades.
But Bucky didn't take his trip by air, customs were a bitch to get through on a normal day let alone when he needed to bring weapons with him. He didn't take a train either, because–well. He'd had an uneasy feeling with them ever since 1944 when he fell down the mountainside. So, instead he went by cross-country bus, and kept to himself in his seat once he got on and found one near the back where it was mostly empty. Being perfectly on time, if not a little early, there were a fewhandfuls people that he watched enter in the time that he waited for the bus to start moving. His watchful eye kept them in sight here and there but for the most part, he simply pulled his dark red baseball cap down a little lower and looked out the window to help hide his face. He could only hope that when one passenger entered with not one, not two; but three small children, that they wouldn't be very loud.
Oh how very wrong he had been. Not even 20 minutes into the trip and two of the rugrats were already whining and fighting with each other. Bucky could only stare at them in distaste as he blinked at the sight, wondering how in the world such tiny things could make so much noise. Granted, he'd never really had to deal with children, not like this anyway. And they couldn't have been any older than 3 or 5, each of them. The oldest of the three seemed to be perfectly fine and well-occupied, thank heavens but that didn't make it any more desirable
Sucking a deep breath in, Bucky suppressed the urge to ask the clearly struggling mother to turn off the screeching, and pulled out a book from his day-pack, beginning to flip through it to find his spot. Maybe if he just pretended they weren't there, they would disappear from his mind.
Not likely, but the effort was still made as he focused on the pages of the small paperback copy of The Hobbit he'd brought with him. Glancing up when it once again wasn't working well, he was caught by surprise when suddenly the older child was standing right there by his seat row, and admittedly he tensed in reaction as a sort of mini-flinch. She hadn't said a word, he hadn't even heard her walking over. But there she was, standing with her stuffed bunny in her arms, simply staring at him while he did the same. Both were quiet for a long moment before Bucky glanced up the way towards where her mother sat with her brothers, clearing his throat. "Can I…help you?" He asked a bit awkwardly as he brought his furrowed-brow gaze back to the little girl. Once more, she didn't really say anything, instead just looking him over quietly. Then, she climbed herself up into the seat next to his since it was open, and Bucky was starting to wish he'd put one of his bags there. "Hey, look, kid- your mom- ….what are you doing?"
She shrugged as he stumbled his words out, and glanced down at her bunny fiddling with it a little as she got settled in the seat. "Too loud." Her answer came simply, and while it didn't answer his question completely, he definitely understood the feeling.
Sighing slightly, he glanced towards her troubled mother once more, and then back to bunny-girl. "...Alright, what's your name kid?"
"Mandy." She replied quietly, glancing up at him a moment later with big green eyes. "What's yours mister?"
"Bucky. My name's Bucky." The man paused for a moment then, almost as if debating whether he should send her back to her family yet or not, but she was calm and quiet, and wasn't harming anything. And it wasn't like he was going to let anything happen to a little kid, so he dismissed the idea for now and instead went back to his book.
It was a minute or so later that he felt the little girl–Mandy, he reminded himself silently–leaning over the arm rest between them slightly to see what he was reading. Brows knitting once again, Bucky glanced from the pages to the young girl, whose curly pigtails somewhat bounced in the way of his view of the words. His mouth parted a fraction, ready to let something slip off his tongue to tell her to sit back and let him read. But nothing came. He didn't know how to tell the girl to get out of his space without, well… being a dick. This was a *child* it would have been different had it been an adult. So instead he simply blinked at her in silence as he debated how to handle it.
Mandy seemed to sense he was looking at her though, because then she met his gaze and inched back into place in her seat, curling around her stuffed, yellow bunny, the apology clear in her demeanor. "I just wanted to see your story." She muttered out, albeit the words likely came out a tad muffled because her bunny's head was pressed against her mouth slightly.
Kids. There was something about them that just- got to him. Admittedly, maybe some part of him had a soft spot. One that he'd probably always had, an instinct he'd never been able to shake. And maybe there was something about that moment that reminded him of the slightly younger girl that he'd been on his way to help, that made him realize he was already traveling across the states to investigate the disappearance of some kid's mother. A small gesture really couldn't hurt him. He may not have said anything, but he did nod, and as he brought his crisp blue hues back to the book in his hands, he started reading the words out to her, quietly but still loud enough to be heard against her brothers' tantrums.
Whatever she'd been expecting, Mandy seemed delightfully surprised when he began reading to her, and her eyes lit up as she looked from him to the book, leaning over once again but this time while staying back more in her seat meaning her head rested against his arm lightly, so that he could still see but she couldn't help wanting to peek. There was something about how trusting she was, about how trusting kids often seemed to be, that just genuinely baffled him. Maybe it was because he'd been so jaded for so long that it was just a mind boggling concept to see such innocence. Or maybe it simply was a brilliant anomaly that children lacked the cynicism of their parents and the adults around them, that they saw things grown-ups didn't and thought of things that were unique to them.
Bucky didn't know when the crying and whining had stopped, but eventually the sun went down around them and it was dark in the bus, nothing but the glow-in-the-dark caution stickers and the light of the full moon to let him read the words on the pages. And just as he'd glanced over towards the little girl next to him, seeing that she was well on her way to passing out completely, he heard her mother patter over looking both exhausted and annoyed. "Mandy- for God's sake, you cannot-" only then did the woman seem to register that her daughter was half asleep, not really hearing her mother much and so all that Mandy gave in response was a tired hum as she nuzzled against Bucky's arm a little more.
Well, shit. He may not be experienced with children but he knew enough to know that if he moved she might wake up. And frankly he didn't even know if she'd let him move. Glancing up towards the mother, he offered an apologetic smile. "Didn't mean to scare you…she just kind of walked on over and climbed up. Seemed like you had your hands full so I hope it's okay I kept her busy for you?" He whispered to her, stopping her before she could rage at him–if that was what she'd been about to do, that is. She looked tired, and scared, understandably so. And most of all she looked ashamed that she hadn't even noticed her daughter leave.
"O-oh…thank you, I- I mean, I'm sorry if she caused you any trouble, I just- yeah…those boys…sorry they were so loud, they're in that phase…" she apologized sheepishly in hushed tones of her own, rubbing her palms against the fronts of her jeans as her gaze flicked between her daughter and the quiet stranger of a man. "I passed out and then I…I woke up and she was gone, I'm so sorry sir."
"Not a problem, honestly. She's pretty decent company, let me read in peace with her." Reading that nervousness on the woman’s features, he paused for a moment before shrugging his free shoulder up. "Don't sweat it, I shoulda sent her back…I was going to, believe me but uh. Well, at least now you get a break, right?" He tried to ease her nerves, but then glanced down towards Mandy. "I can carry her back to your seat if you'd like."
He was just so damned kind, she thought. A complete stranger and yet her daughter was clearly safe and well, asleep even and yes, now everything was quiet and she had some time to relax. It didn't stop her mom-dar from going off, but at the very least she'd be a fool to not appreciate his kindness. "No, no it's… it's okay, I don't want to wake her, she's a bit of a light sleeper…just uh, if she wakes up let me know. I'm Erin, by the way…in case that helps." This time it was her turn to offer a kind smile.
"Bucky. Nice to meet you…I'll keep it in mind, hopefully she lets you have a break though." He chuffed an amused breath out his nose.
Doing the same, she shook her head. "Yeah, if only. Thanks, again…I'll let you uh. Read in peace." She teased lightly, taking a hand back through her hair as she went back to her seat before the driver could reprimand her for standing up so long.
Smiling in amusement at that, he watched Erin go back to her sons, and in turn went back to his book after a moment. It was the small things, that made life easier. The small things were what really made things worth it. Sure, saving the world and saving people was big, and it was good. And it was worth it. But sometimes it was moments where he managed to do something more mundane, and helped someone else, that made all the other shit worth it. Because it meant he was still capable of being human.
———
By the time the sun was back up, Bucky rose with it, his eyes slowly opening to the light streaming through the window and he groaned quietly at the crick in his neck from how he'd slept. Running his flesh hand over his face groggily, as he glanced around he noticed that the warmth that had been leaned up against his arm the night day before was no longer there. He would have been concerned, thinking he'd now somehow lost some stranger's child, but he saw the pigtail-bearing girl peeking up over her seat at him a moment later, watching her smile appear once more as she gave him a little wave. Crisis averted. Not like there was anywhere she could really go on a bus, but still.
Despite still being a bit plagued by morning sleepiness, he smiled back and gave the girl a small wave of his own before watching her sink back into her seat properly. Probably at the urging of her mother. His sleepiness didn't last long, though, because soon those boys were back to making noise, but at least it wasn't as much of a headache as yesterday because it was merely them playing and babbling about random things. That was tolerable. And so he relaxed a bit more, rolling out his neck some before he picked up his book again and went on reading.
Somewhere along the way, the lone mother with her trio of children had reached their stop and were gathering their things to leave. It was Mandy who escaped her mother's sight once again to go see the kind man at the back of the bus who had read to her, bunny still in her arms but this time with a warm smile in place. "Hi Mr. Bucky! Mommy said I shouldn't bother you again… but I just wanted to say I liked your story and you're very nice." She didn't give him time to process all of that before she climbed up in the same seat as before, and kissed his cheek for a moment before hearing her mother call her name.
"You're welcome, Mandy. I think your mom needs you though, better get going." He encouraged even as he seemed surprised by her display of affectionate gratitude. The little girl wiggled back down from the seat then, but not without turning to wave at him, walking backwards to do so. "Bye Mr. Bucky!" She rushed the words out before running along to catch up to her mother. Watching her run along, he smiled at her little goodbye, and waved back at her as she went on her way. He wished that woman luck with her undoubtedly trouble-filled journey, honestly. Because he had his own coming up and somehow he felt like she was going to have it harder.
The rest of his ride went on rather uneventful, and when he arrived at his stop it was almost nighttime. But he was all the more closer to getting this job done, so saddling himself up with all his bags, he made his way into town and started heading for the address he'd gotten on the envelope.
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Tags: @baw1066 @fluffydanger @vicmc624 @sjsmith56 @capswife @dispatchvampire @sofi1sstuff @sarbear94 @impeterporker @hhiggs @safiraish @kayden666 @saltedcoffeescotch @mcubuckyandsteve @thebuckybarnesvault @himikotoga
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i-dared-myself · 18 hours ago
Text
Uncomfortable
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Stray Kids x reader
Requested by anonymous: hello, ash! would it be good if i request something, pls? i was thinking of a 9th member au with skz, could you maybe write a compilation of scenarios in which the reader is made uncomfortable and how the guys help her through it? idk if you'll do this, i hope it's not too much!
You love your job, that much you were certain of. You love your fans, as well. You work so hard in every dance and every song.
So when you step out on stage your heart swells in pride to see the thousands of Stays. Knowing that your group went from nothing to this is incredible.
And they’re all here to see you.
Well- not just you. The other members are just as, if not more, important than you. 
But at any given moment, thousands of eyes could be on you.
You had done many concerts before this. You had preformed more times than you could count. It had never bothered you before, and yet here you were.
You stand there in your concert attire, makeup and hair done. You look good and you know it, but what if people online didn’t think so? What if you were being recorded right now because there was a hair out of place?
“Hey.” Felix ducks down, using his body to cover the two of you from the crowd. “What’s going on?”
You force a smile, gripping at your shirt. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
Chan says something into a microphone, and the crowd roars. You make a move to join the others, but Felix’s hand wraps around your wrist gently. He tugs you back to him and looks you in the eyes.
“You look good,” he says simply. He smiles and his freckles scrunch up in the Felix-way that makes you want to grin as well. “We all know that.”
Your voice seems to catch in your throat as you try to respond. You cough. “But… What if I do something wrong?”
“You’re won’t, first of all,” he firmly says. “And secondly, we mess up all the time. Stay still loves us. It makes us human and that’s what they love about us.”
You nod slowly and take a deep breath. “Yeah. The best memes are made when we… Yeah.”
Felix releases you. “Ready?”
You trail after him to the group, smiling as brightly as you can. After a minute it turns into a genuine expression, and you know you love your job.
The concert goes by with very minimal mistakes. You have as much fun as you hope the fans do, and the guys all collapse into a pile next to you when you’re done.
“Gimme,” Hyunjin rasps to Jeongin. The younger man gets the message and hands him his water bottle.
“Good job, everyone,” Chan praises. He stretches out his joints and groans. 
“Getting too old for this?” Seungmin arches an eyebrow teasingly.
Chan scowls and levels a finger at him. “Watch your mouth.”
You’re covered in sweat and feel sticky. You check the time and notice it’s very late. “I want to go shower at the dorms. Are we leaving soon?”
“Yeah, let’s go.” Chan does a head count for some reason before guiding the group to the van. You clamber inside and pull your phone out, wanting to see what everyone thought of the concert.
“You did great,” Minho mutters quietly. His voice is low enough that only you can hear it. 
His words make your stomach tumble. You don’t get told often that you did good. Everything always what you could’ve done better. What someone else could have done better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You really aren’t in the mood for recording, but you sit patiently as your makeup is applied and your hair is manipulated. You’re given a set of clothes and once you put it on, you exit the changing room and rejoin the others.
“Uh,” Changbin begins, averting his eyes, “that’s an interesting outfit.”
You’re confused, but look down at yourself for the first time after rushing through getting dressed. It’s definitely the most revealing thing you’ve worn for recordings, and you’re not sure if you feel comfortable with that. 
You’re not one to judge those for what you wear, but this is different. This is your job. This is where you’re supposed to be professional, and you have to wear… this.
It has what can only be described as a boob window. You tug it up uncomfortably, before down again when some of your stomach is shown.
The miniskirt is just as bad, to a level where you want to hide. You’re used to having to wear clothing similar to this, but never this bad.
Changbin adjusts his T-shirt. “Uh… Are you good with that?”
You nod.
The stylists know what they’re doing, right?
It would be rude to question them, right?
You walk to Hyunjin’s side and stand in place next to him. The set of instructions for the shoot are given, and all you can focus on is your outfit.
“That’s interesting,” Hyunjin says, unable to hide his disdain. His upper lip curls before he smoothes out his expression. “That’s… Wow.”
“I know.” You swallow and fiddle with the fabric again. “Is it that bad?”
Hyunjin nods. “Yes. Very.”
You curl into yourself, shoulders slumping. “Thanks, Hyunjin.”
“The colour compliments your eyes,” he mutters once he catches the look on your face. Hyunjin hooks an arm over your shoulder to pull you closer to him. “I think you look good.”
“But she’s not comfortable,” Seungmin bluntly says. He gives Hyunjin a dirty look. “Obviously.”
“No! I’m fine!” You wave your hands in a desperate attempt to gather their attention before they went rampaging to the stylists. “They worked hard!”
“Yeah, but do you want people to see you in that?” Seungmin questions. When you falter over a response, he sighs. “Boundaries are important, even at work.”
Hyunjin hums. “He’s right. And that shirt is ugly anyways.”
Jisung approaches, scowling slightly. “Aren’t we starting soon? Where are the others?”
“In a little bit. They’re still finishing preparations.” Jeongin leans down to touch his toes. 
“Hey.” Seungmin pokes Jisung. “Give her your shirt.”
Jisung flinches back, clutching at his torso. “What? Why?”
“She doesn’t like hers.” Hyunjin pinches the material of Jisung’s clothing. “Too much skin.”
“I’m not wearing anything under this shirt.” Jisung winces and rolls out his shoulders. “Do we…”
Jeongin scoffs. “Wow. You’re not going to give her your shirt? You just want to stare at boobs, don’t you? You’re so misogynistic.”
“That’s not what that means.” You press a hand to your forehead. “Jeongin-“
“Fine then!” Jisung huffs. He strips his shirt off and flings it at you, putting his hands on his hips defiantly. “Happy? I love women!”
The staff all stare at him in confusion, while a couple of them shield their eyes with their hands.
“Jisung-“ You hold out his clothes, but Seungmin blocks you.
“Put it on!” Seungmin orders.
“But what about me?” Jisung pouts. “I can’t just be half-naked for the recording.”
“I mean, you could…” Hyunjin trails off. “Stay would love it.”
You step into a changing room, returning with Jisung’s shirt on. You hand him yours, which he struggles to put on. He keeps sticking his arms through the boob window, and Jeongin has to help him dress.
“It’s horrifying,” Hyunjin announces once Jisung is finished. 
“I think you look good,” Felix vaguely says as he walks past. He’s staring at his phone.
“Which one of us?” Jisung puffs out his chest in what’s clearly an attempt to make you smile.
It works.
Felix glances up, eyes widening. “Are you allowed to wear that?”
“They put her in it, so it’s their fault.” Hyunjin shrugs and runs his tongue over his front teeth. “What about the miniskirt?”
“I’m not wearing that!” Jisung hisses. “This is bad enough!”
“Felix!” Hyunjin sings, chasing after the other man. Felix looks back over his shoulder before sprinting away.
So when Chan returns to the group, Changbin following closely behind, he taps his chin.
“The stylists are getting very… unique,” he carefully says. Chan’s eyes flick over Jisung in your shirt, and Felix, who had been wrestled into the miniskirt. 
You frown, wearing Felix’s baggy pants. “Sorry. I can- I can put it back on if you want.”
Chan waves a hand, expression softening. “It’s fine. The camera we needed for the water scene broke anyway. We’re going home.”
Felix grumbles to Changbin about the stupid skirt as they trudge off to the van. Chan catches your arm before you can leave with them.
“And I’ll tell the staff that you aren’t okay with those clothes for filming,” he assures you softly. “Tell us if you’re ever uncomfortable with something, okay?”
“I will,” you promise him.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Long days were normal. Many long days with a lack of sleep were not. Chan usually tried to give everyone enough rest and time to themselves, but the last couple of days had been stressful.
So you find yourself with nine hours of sleep in the last three days. You have no idea how you’re even functioning, let alone cheery enough for a fan meet.
You’re seated across from a girl with curly brown hair. Her gaze keeps darting from your face, down to her lap nervously.
As you uncap your pen, you smile as warmly as you can. Considering the circumstances, that is. The lack of sleep and pure exhaustion were really getting to you.
“I- I saw the clips of your latest concert,” she nervously says. “I- You’re very good.”
“Thank you.” You scribble your signature out on what she wanted before sliding it across the table. “Anything else to sign?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I- You and Felix are close.”
Your tired brain couldn’t tell where she was going with this. So you hum. “Yeah. We are.”
She seems giddy at that. “R-Really?”
“Yeah. We all are.” You look over to your right, where Changbin appears in deep discussion with a fan about… bald eagles?
“But like… Close i-in which way?” She crosses one leg over the other.
You still can’t understand what she’s saying. It’s not wise of an idol to interact with someone and have no clue what’s happening, but here you are.
“Uh, a lot,” is all you respond with. “Do you have a favourite song, or album?”
“But Felix g-grabbed your arm the other day.” Her head ducks down again as her cheeks flush. “I- I saw videos of it.”
“Oh!” Your eyebrows shoot up with the realization. “Um- Have you ever been to one of our concerts before?”
“You l-look happy together.” She ignores your question.
“So… Chk Chk Boom?” you weakly say. “It’s pretty good, right?”
She doesn’t seem to get the hint. “He smiles at y-you often.”
“Did I hear someone talking about me?” Felix teases as he bends down. He props his elbows down on the table, some of his hair falling into his face. 
“What are you doing over here?” you ask in bewilderment. Isn’t he supposed to be doing his own signings?
“I figured you could use the company.” 
Which is code for: You needed help so I’m here.
You relax into your chair, leaning back. “I appreciate it.”
“So what were we chatting about?” Felix asks, more alert than you for some reason. You blame it on the energy drinks he chugged with Jeongin.
The rest of the meeting goes by smoothly. When everyone loads into the van, Changbin makes room for you in the seat next to him.
“You okay?” he gently inquires. 
You nod and let your eyes flutter shut. “Just miss sleeping.”
Changbin chuckles lowly. “Yeah, so do I.”
“Don’t worry, everyone will get their naps,” Chan calls from the front. “Our schedule is free for the next week.”
Jisung whoops, and Hyunjin covers his ears and whines from beside him. 
“That means actually sleeping,” Chan sternly says. “Jisung, I’m talking to you. Don’t binge an entire show in a night.”
Seungmin rolls his eyes. “We all know he’s going to do it anyway.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Minho ominously mutters.
Everyone side-eyes him.
“What are you going to do?” you warily question him. 
Minho’s eyes glint. “That’s for me to know and for him to find out.”
Jisung clears his throat. “I think I’m going to bed early tonight. Anyone else doing the same?”
You shake your head and sigh. “No, I have a live to do.”
The others all murmur their excuses, while Minho narrows his eyes at you. You shift nervously under his gaze.
When you get off to your room, you make sure to brush out your hair. When prop your phone up and sit on your bed, tucking your legs beneath you.
You greet the fans as they come pouring in, making sure to touch on the topic on the fan meeting. You talk for a little bit about how grateful you are for everyone coming, before moving on to just chatting.
It’s always odd doing a live by yourself. There’s no engaging with someone else, and you have to either read off comments, or come up with conversation.
You’re too tired for the latter, so you go with the former.
“Aw, my hair looks nice?” You beam at your phone, reaching up to your head. “Thank you very much.”
You read over a couple more rolls of comments on the screen before settling on another one to respond to. “No, I won’t give you spoilers. Nice try, though.”
You scrunch your nose up and adjust how you’re sitting. Everyone is going on about a new meme of Jeongin falling out of his chair. Some are asking you to recreate it, while others are asking if he’s okay.
“Yes, he’s fine,” you answer breezily. “It takes more than that to hurt him. He’s tougher than he looks.”
And time goes on. Your eyes are getting heavier and heavier, but you don’t want to turn it off. The more content you give them now, the less they’ll talk about you and Felix.
If any shipping gets too popular, you have to do damage control and-
“Hello, Stay!” Minho waves with both hands as he pops into frame. He blinks a couple times as the comments scream his name before his lips curl into a smile.
“What are you doing here?” You scoot over in case he wants to sit with you.
Minho remains standing. “It’s getting late. Do you know what time it is?”
There’s a string of people talking about air fryers, now. Others are warning you to run.
You straighten. “No, sorry. Is it really that late?”
“It’s past midnight,” he scolds gently. “It’s bed time. I already have Jisung sleeping, and it’s your turn.”
“But…” You don’t know how to voice your concerns. It feels as if speaking your worries aloud will make them true.
Minho says the goodbyes to your phone before shutting the live off. He scoops your phone up and slips it into your pocket before lifting you over his shoulder.
“Minho!” you shriek as he marches out the door. “What are you doing?”
“Rumours come with the job,” he says. He bounces you once, cutting off your protests. “The amount of times I’m shipped with Jisung is immense, but we’re fine. These things happen.”
“Yeah, there’s lots of that stuff.” You go limp and let him dump you in the bathroom. As soon as you’re on your feet, he hands you your toothbrush.
“See?” Minho raises an eyebrow. “You’ll be fine. And even if it does get out of hand, I’m sure Hyunjin would be glad to do something to get the attention off you.”
“You’re right,” you say around the toothbrush in your mouth. Minho waits patiently for you to spit into the sink before you’re back in his grasp.
“I don’t see why you made such a big deal about this,” you grumble as you change into pyjamas. His back is to you as you do so. “Why was Jisung so scared?”
He smirks at you, facing you again. “Wanna find out?”
You stare at him momentarily before sliding beneath your sheets. “Good night.”
“Good night.” Minho pulls the blankets up to your chin. He walks to the door, holding up your phone. “You’ll get this back in the morning after a chat with Chan about positive thinking.”
You groan and throw your head against the pillows. “You really are cruel!”
Minho laughs before flicking your lights off. He shuts the door softly.
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stellamarielu · 3 days ago
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I know we all know how good Declan is in bed. How he caters to his partner’s needs first - how confident he is about it.
But I feel like his first time post Maude would be different. His confidence knocked down a bit. Idk. But just a possible fix/drabble thot 😬
THIS!!
I received a similar request about a month ago and I started writing a fic for it and never finished. [whomp whomp] so anon from december who asked for fluffy declan realizing sex can be about more than just pleasuring his partner, please take this little drabble as my formal apology.
he would be nervous and a little intimidated the first time he had you naked in his bed. he was doing everything in his power to remain composed and in control all evening, but now with you all spread out on his sheets, he felt tense and a little unsure of himself. christ-sake, he had been with the same woman for over twenty years, not to mention that woman had an affair. declan often wondered if it was more than just his work habits that caused his wife to stray from their marriage bed. he was so sure that she was always satisfied seeing as though every sexual encounter started with him between her legs, but now he was in his head wondering if maybe he wasn't as good as he thought he was. what if he wasn't good enough for you. fuck- what if he can't get you off? what if you think he's bad in bed? what if he does something you don't like? what if he doesn't compare to the other- much younger men you've slept with?
he couldn’t seem to stop the thoughts tumbling around in his brain. it must’ve been apparent because you sat up in front of him placing a gentle hand on his chest only to be met with the alarming rush of his heartbeat.
“is everything okay?”
“yeah, yeah.” he’s nodding and you’re not sure if he’s trying to convince you or himself that everything is fine.
“it’s just- i’m feeling a little nervous.” his voice is quiet underneath his breath.
you’ve never heard him sound so shy, it made you want to wrap him in a reassuring hug. the two of you were fully undressed in his bedroom, the situation already vulnerable enough without his worried confession.
“i’m not really used to this.” he’s motioning between the two of you.
“you know, sleeping with someone who isn’t my wife.” as soon as the words leave his mouth he wants to kick himself. what a way to start out– talking about his wife, or ex-wife, or whatever she was to him now.
“it must be strange.” your reply is soft, but still drawing him from his thoughts.
you don’t want him to be anxious, there was nothing to worry about. not with you.
so you take it upon yourself to spur his confidence.
“you know, i think about this a lot declan?”
“i daydream about what it would be like to be touched by you.”
the hand that's resting on his chest begins to brush over tufts of chest hair as it moves slowly, exploring his skin.
"what it would be like to touch you."
your voice is clear and clean but the words coming out of your mouth are so dirty. you have declan's complete attention now, his eyes are trained on you and his heart is still racing underneath your fingertips, only this time for an entirely different reason.
"but we don't have to-" you can't even finish your sentence before you're being interrupted.
"I want to." declan is rushing out his words of consent, his eyes searching yours.
"Good." your voice drops to something far more sultry as you sit up on your knees, using the hand at declan's chest to usher him backwards until he's the one laying on the sheets.
"Maybe I can help you relax a little bit."
you're kissing his neck, each groan that leaves his mouth cheering you on further as your lips descend down his body.
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miyakazashi · 16 hours ago
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Link Click Episode 6 Preview
I don't know how I feel about the episode 6 trailer...😥😥 It looks like sh*t is about to go down and all hell is about to go loose...
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Oh no...he caught on to Lu guangs behavior.. oh no......
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On top of that, he's done with his mr.nice guy act... That's not good- that's not good at all
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This scene....this scene just doesn't give me good vibes idk- what am I saying?- this whole pv doesn't give me good vibes
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I don't like that he has this little smirk after Xia Fei asks to stop their co-operation, either he has something sinister in mind or everything is going according to plan...
I love that smirk though so continue on-
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Look- I don't like seeing a scared Xia Fei
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Like I knew with his non-antagonistic personality, one day he would definitely get wrapped into something horrible...but I have a really Really REALLY bad feeling about this scene, he literally gets pulled back after it looked like he wanted to rush in and help someone...?
And the person behind him... Look, initially I thought it was Vein, but we don't see the black sleeve/gloves here, so apparently it's Lu guang...? The visual evidence is there (short sleeve, white shirt), it is him but I don't know if I want to know why he's pulling Xia Fei back, or is it actually Vein and I'm just looking to much into the clothing design ?? I doubt he'd pull up his sleeves though, seems like a stretch
Could it be that Cheng Xiaoshi's on the other side of the road in danger...
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at this rate, I'm really gonna need therapy after this- help- we all need help-
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Here's the trailer from the Official Twitter account btw, sh*t does go down though, and you have been warned
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spaceorphan18 · 1 day ago
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The Lady Whistledown Papers : 2x04 Victory (Part 4)
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Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!
For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers
Bridgerton Ball
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The Bridgertons are hosting a ball in their very large country home. (It's kind of amazing they can accommodate for the nine hundred families attending - just how big is that mansion??) And Penelope and Eloise remain the wallflowers that they are.
It's a shame Colin decides to sit this one out -- look how gorgeous this girl is! Her hair is beautiful in this scene, and her dress isn't that bad. I'm really appreciating Season 2 Penelope a lot more through doing this meta. The dresses might still be not the greatest, but her hair and make up have been A+. Colin is a dope for not seeing her sooner.
Anyway, one detail I love about this scene is how much Penelope and Eloise are close physically. They're literally clinging to each other for support.
Violet is on her way, bringing over a suitor for Eloise, and Eloise begins freaking out. Penelope is rather calm -- wanting Eloise to dance because she (sadly) knows she's not going to. (And, the girl really would love to dance.) I do love that Penelope teases her a little -- wanting to hear gossip about a possible love life for her friend instead of Eloise going on about pamphlets.
I also kind of love that she slips in there a question about Colin - and if she's heard about his trip to Marina. Like, girl you are not subtle in your inquiries. If Eloise hadn't been so wrapped up in her own, little world, there's no way she couldn't have noticed Pen's Colin obsession. But Eloise doesn't get to answer - her new suitor awaits.
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I love that during this awkward exchange between Eloise and the guy, Penelope's off in the background, pretending to mind her own business while secretly listening in, and giggling about how terrible Eloise is with a suitor. Honestly, Penelope isn't much better but at least she's getting amusement from Eloise's antics.
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There's this cute little moment, as Eloise goes off to dance... Eloise sarcastically jokes that Penelope is going to get that entertainment she asked for, as Eloise is dragged onto the dance floor. But then Violet looks back at her, and they share a knowing grin. I said it last time but -- man, I do wish Penelope and Violet had had more interactions. But there is some small groundwork here that Violet is comfortable with Penelope, and seems to enjoy her presence.
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Well... so much for Eloise dancing with some guy. He turns out to be an asshat, and Eloise won't stand for it! Penelope is worried for her friend as things heat up. Penelope does run after her, but Eloise wants to be alone... Which gives Penelope plenty of time, now, to watch everyone else -- including her own family, where things are going to get a bit screwy.
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Penelope has her own little perch to watch the entire ball -- surely there's some Lady Whistledown noteworthy things going down... But she's distracted by the fact that her mother is pushing Prudence out of the ballroom. Penelope isn't dumb, and she's well aware that Portia has been up to things -- what, she doesn't know exactly, but she's definitely aware that something doesn't feel right.
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Well, Portia, upon freaking out that Jack is interested in Cressida, puts her plan into action and has Prudence go out into the garden when she just sent Jack out there. And then has everyone come out and catch them... not doing a thing. Penelope is scandalized!
And, I mean, I realize they need this for plot purposes (and - in a way, this is a nod to the Viscount Who Loved Me, in which Kate and Anthony are forced into marriage because of a beesting), but it feels so forced. Just, Idk. With the amount of shenanigans that Colin and Penelope get into... (I mean, does anyone care that Colin is off visiting a married woman, and she had been alone for some time?). And for the amount of 'alone' time both Simon and Daphne and Kate and Anthony have managed thus far, this whole sequence is so farfetched.
Whatever, they need it for plot reasons.
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Anyway, while Prudence is thrilled about being married, and Jack is horrified, Penelope is simply perplexed. She knows a set up when she sees one, and she knows things are right about this. On top of that, she absolutely is going to have to report this as Lady Whistledown, and while her column may have started out to throw shade at her own family, she isn't really interested in getting them into scandal -- especially when her family doesn't need the extra drama in their direction.
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Later, Penelope confronts her sister (I assume on their way back to their rooms?). Prudence tells Penelope not to be jealous, and I love how dismissive Pen is of it -- like, god, no, totally not jealous of you marrying someone actually related to us.
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Quick sidebar, look at the detailing of Penelope's necklace and hairpiece. It's absolutely gorgeous. Shame Colin wasn't there to see that...
Anyway, Penelope wants details and gets confirmation that Portia had set it all up. Prudence is thrilled that Lady Whistledown has something to write about concerning her, but Penelope is fearful of that. Whatever the gossip may be -- it'll be a scandal, and that could ruin their family, and be a huge ordeal. Prudence accuses Penelope of being jealous of her, to which Penelope is deeply offended. (Penelope could never imagine being jealous of Prudence -- but it's another thing her sister can attempt to rub in her face)
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Prudence goes on to say that there's no possible way that Lady Whistledown would know that it was a set-up, and will just report the basic news of the engagement. She also takes a moment to throw in Penelope's face that she is now engaged, and Penelope is still... Penelope. Also, Prudence can't help but throw at her that she is now going to be the new Lady Featherington, a fact that does grate on Penelope. She's left there to stew as Prudence marches away, seeming victorious.
Stairway
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I wanted to include this shot from farther away just to see their full profiles. He's standing four steps down to meet her eyeline. Yes. I counted. I just had to point that out. Also, oooff, that unflinchingly hard yellow is back. But most importantly -- can we talk about the fact that they all spent the night at in the same house? Where are my Season 2 AU fics, they've got to be out there, right??? I mean think about the shenanigans.
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Alright, so let's dig into this one. Penelope is thrilled to catch him. What an odd coincidence that there are, like, 500 people in that house and the two of them cross paths without anyone else in sight. (I mean, I know, I get it, I understand how filming works, I just think it's funny - especially after all of the shenanigans with Jack and Prudence.)
Anyway - she completely lights up when she sees him. This is one of the few times, however, that Colin doesn't light up when he sees her. (I'm going to have to go back and take a look - because he usually is just as happy to see her whenever their paths cross.) But Colin didn't go to the ball for the same reason he's in a morose mood at the moment. He's lost in his own thoughts and emotions, and he's still kind of dealing with the aftermath of his time with Marina.
Colin says he stayed in because he wasn't feeling up to the ball, and I do have some questions -- like, Violet is insistent on Eloise being there, but doesn't seem to push Colin in the same way (the difference between sons and daughters? and, btw, was Benedict there - where is Benedict, he always seems to be getting out of these things). But I also wonder -- I assume Colin just left for Marina's without telling anyone (except El and Pen). Does no one care what he's up to? Colin honestly could get away with murder based on how little anyone pays attention to what he's up to. (I feel the same way about Benedict.)
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Penelope asks how Marina is doing. Colin simply responds that she's content. Which isn't wrong. Penelope takes it as a good thing, and it's a nice reminder moment that Penelope does and did care for Marina's well being. Penelope wasn't set out to ruin anyone's life. She just wanted Colin to make decisions on all the facts, and not have his own life ruined by a lie.
Anyway... while Penelope is glad to hear of Marina's contentness, it's clear that Colin is, I suppose, unhappy that Marina is doing fine. It's clear, really, that Marina didn't need Colin's help - and he's still rectifying that in his head.
Penelope goes on to say that maybe seeing Marina is what he needed, for closure... She states specifically 'to leave the past behind' which is an echo of what Marina told him. Colin, however, has a hard time letting things go... but first, Penelope, not really reading him in the moment, goes on to suggest that maybe he doesn't really need to swear off women. It's a slightly sad attempt to get him to notice that she is a woman.
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The two of them, however, are really not on the same page. Penelope's somewhat missing the fact that there's more going on with Colin than just his sense of heartbreak -- that Colin's still trying to figure out what his place in this world is. Meanwhile, Colin is truly missing that the answer to that question is standing in front of him.
Next we get a section that... does feel a little like clunky writing. Colin's next thoughts are that he still feels bad about how everyone, including himself, was hard on her for hiding her pregnancy, and chastises Lady Whistledown for printing the gossip. And that if LW hadn't, things would have turned out differently (and in Colin's mind - for the better).
The purpose of the statement, I believe, is less about Colin (I'll get to that in a sec) and more about making Penelope feel guilty for being LW and having that happen. It's a moment that's supposed to add tension to the Polin narrative -- reminding us that even if we do want these two together, there is something that hangs over them... the LW secret, and the fact that Colin does not have a high opinion of her.
But the way Colin presents it makes it seem like he thinks that had LW not printed, he'd be happily married and so would Marina. Which... just would not be true. In fact, Colin, babe, you'd be miserable because your wife would not love you and she'd be merely 'content' with you. And, honestly, her life is for the better after the LW reveal, because Sir Philip respects her back but isn't in love with her -- and Colin would be miserable being in love and not feeling it back, so Marina kinda lucked out there. It's kind of weird that Colin doesn't seem to recognize it.
Also, as an aside, I kind of, sort of wonder if any of this was/is supposed to be a small set up for things to come way down the road. Were they trying to acknowledge things that happen in Eloise's book, with the mental health issues, etc? Idk - I just don't think they were thinking that far in advance, but still.
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Anyway, Penelope looks understandably guilty about it -- though Colin doesn't notice this at all.
He does go on to say that there is no use dwelling on the past -- echoing Marina and now Penelope. And I do get a sense that Colin is trying to move on and forward, even if he doesn't know what direction that might exactly be. (Despite might stern looking screencap) Colin is actually a bit lighter when he says he's thinking of the future. It's such a subtle facial shift, where he slightly smiles when he thinks about it. He may be in a mood about Marina but I think he's okay, and genuinely open to pursuing the next phase in his life.
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Penelope is left on the stairs with the weight of her secret and how it effects other people's lives hanging over her.
And, I mean, now that I've sat and watched this scene closely about fifteen times - I don't necessarily think that Colin is still stuck in his broken heartedness about Marina. I think this scene is more about Penelope, and having to face consequences for being Lady Whistledown. But also, to a lesser extent, that she just can't wishful think Colin into liking her back. There's still very much distance between them that isn't going away any time soon.
Proposal
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As the episode closes, we get the Lady Whistledown narration stating that there is a tiny bit of gossip she can speak about that not everyone knows... And, I mean, had everyone else left already? why is Penelope there but not the rest of the ton - or even her own family? Idk, I shouldn't think too hard about logistics here. The point is that Penelope has a front row seat to Anthony's actions.
I want to mention the scoring here, which is kind of interesting. I do believe the music was heard in Season 1 (though I can't remember when). But... a shorter version of this material will be used in 3x04... at the end of the carriage scene... when we get another proposal. But more on that later...
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Okay, so Penelope is waving to people as they leave. Also, it seems like Prudence, Jack, and Portia are all in a carriage - so is Penelope dragging her feet getting in? Oh, the logistics!
Meanwhile, the Bridgertons are all standing in one pack as they are the hosts. It's very Christmas Card-ish of them.
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Anthony runs out to go propose to Edwina. The Bridgertons look on shocked at the development. Colin and Benedict share a great look of -- wtf, Anthony?? They... really haven't been a part of the plot lately. At all, lol. None of the Bridgertons really seem like this is a good idea. (And we all know it's not...)
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Okay, so Pen was dragging her feet getting into her carriage...
Unlike the Bridgertons, half of whom had an inkling that there are Kate and Anthony shenanigans that are unresolved, Penelope had not been around, and has no idea. She just gets to witness a proposal, and omg does her romantic little heart get caught up in it -- not to mention that she'll have this salacious detail to write about later. She is probably the happiest person there, after Edwina.
Victory indeed, the narration ends with. Meh, Pen, i don't think anyone has won here...
We still have four more episodes of Season 2 left!! ;)
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doginprogress · 7 months ago
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Ok. Let’s talk lure coursing safety.
A pretty awful accident occurred during the lure coursing at UKC Premier this past week. I wanna make it clear that I cannot and will not be passing any kind of judgement on what happened. I was not there, I do not know many details other than the owner themselves called it a freak accident.
And the truth of lure coursing is that even if/when things are done perfectly, this kind of accident is always a possibility. There is a certain amount of risk you must weigh and decide to take when you decide to let your dog lure course.
1. Mechanical Risks - like with this accident, there is always the possibility for injury when coming in close proximity to a thin, tensioned wire running at speeds upwards of 30+ mph. Line burns on paws and lower legs are not uncommon, and many dogs run muzzled to prevent them from cutting their mouths when trying to bite a moving line. Azula has gotten tangled and line burnt after the line, loosened by wet conditions, popped off a pulley mid run. I myself have scars from some pretty awful line burn after a freak accident while setting up the field.
To help mitigate this risk, the huntmaster should always have a knife or scissors on hand and should be closely watching the dogs running so they can cut the line and release tension at any sign of a tangle. The lure operator should be highly trained and also be keeping out for any sign of danger so they can stop the lure when needed. As a competitor, make sure you are aware of the line at all times. Not only where it is, but when it is and isn’t moving. I try to never move my dog over a moving line, and when I am moving over a line, I am either taking extra tall steps or stepping on it to make sure I don’t trip (but, DO NOT step on a moving line). Try not to grab a line unless absolutely necessary and never ever ever grab a moving line - you will cut through your hands.
2. Other Dogs - lure coursing is one of the few (maybe the only?) dog sports where multiple dogs are competing at the same time potentially hundreds of yards away from their humans. It’s a high arousal and highly competitive environment, and this can lead to conflict between dogs. Sometimes this can be mitigated with muzzles and sometimes the dog should simply not be participating in lure coursing. If it is your dog that is aggressive and putting others at risk, please do not run them in the Open or Specials stakes. Dogs can have just as much fun running in singles and no title is worth potentially endangering your dog and others by running a dangerous dog.
However sometimes the risk comes simply from dogs running together at high speeds. Dogs can unintentionally bump into or trip each other, I’ve seen dogs leap over another in the field, tumble into each other while slowing down, and run into each other when they’re paying too much attention to the lure and not enough to the other dogs on the field. Sometimes unintentional contact happens and it’s important to recognize that too. There’s really not much that can be done in those cases.
3. Field Conditions - heat, rain, snow, height of grass, dry ground, rocks, trees, and the course plan itself can all pose issues when running. The club running the event should be continuously assessing these and doing what they can to alleviate the effects, but there’s a lot that you have to judge for yourself and what you know about your own dog. Wrapping paws or soaking them in water can help minimize injury due to dry ground, soaking a dog in water can help keep them cool on hot days, and knowing how your dog may handle tight turns can help you evaluate whether you should enter based on the plan for the course.
Fields with numerous trees or other obstacles are dangerous for dogs who may be paying more attention to the lure than their surroundings. If you’ve never been to the field before I highly suggest talking to someone was has to get a feel for what to expect.
4. Honest to God Freak Accidents - sometimes shit happens. A dog steps into a hole no one noticed and breaks their leg. A group of deer pop onto the field and your dog takes off after them, disappearing for hours. A dog with no prior indications has a cardiac event mid run, and is gone before anyone can even process that they’ve stopped running.
Sometimes there is absolutely nothing that could have been done differently and things just happen. It unfortunately is part of life and something that can be so hard to accept. Occasionally, there is no rhyme or reason, no blame to lay. When you go to that coursing event and run your dog, you’re entrusting that a lot of the risk has been mitigated for you by those running the event. That’s why it’s so important to know who that is and what experience they have.
But beyond that, you are assuming some amount of gambling by participating in lure coursing. The sport itself has dangers that cannot be managed away. But so does agility, and flyball, and disc, and dock diving, and any other sport of any kind. This does not mean that any of these things should be discontinued, but that you should not take any of these lightly and consider the risks vs the rewards, both personal and for your dog. Lure coursing has unfortunately become fairly available to do on a whim in recent years when it is truly something you should be heavily educated about before choosing to participate.
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hajihiko · 1 month ago
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Sobriety crew gets no mercy from drunk shenanigans
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welcometogrouchland · 29 days ago
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Noticing that TV and film will often have a character either have had an abortion in the past that isn't showcased on screen (and just used as part of the character's ~fucked up and twisted backstory~) OR contemplate getting an abortion in the present day but not to through with it. Just once I want to see someone delete that fetus within the events of the plot and not be like. Extremely majorly punished for it and/or be in the wrong
#ramblings of a lunatic#was watching a tv show w the fam recently and it's the 2nd series of a show that was clearly written with only 1 in mind#so in the 2nd season a character gets pregnant (bc ofc) and contemplates getting an abortion#only to do the whole 'omg she thinks she's lost the baby and realizes she wanted to keep it all along!'#which like. fine and valid and happens to ppl irl I'm sure#but like. this season doesn't establish if she wanted kids prior or if she has a stable job (she was struggling career wise-#-last season and the timeskip this season doesn't go into it)#AND has this fucking bizarre scene w/ her boyfriend (whos mostly been irrelevant and occasionally annoying up til now)#where he says it's 'our pregnancy' that she was going to terminate and when she (rightfully) bites back-#-saying 'you mean MY pregnancy?!' he just. storms off and deflects#which would be one thing but we have to wrap up the main plot so she just apologizes to him (for other plot stuff)#and we're never given any indication that his opinion has changed and they're just happily parenting at the end of the season#which just. left a bad taste in my mouth#like I KNOW i know not every bad thing said on screen needs a big blinking arrow that points out that it's Bad and Wrong#but idk how I'm supposed to feel in a series that has painted itself as explicitly feminist up til this point#presents the outcome of a woman dating and bearing a child for a man w seemingly zero respect for her bodily autonomy as happily ever after#w no follow up#like the whole series is centered on a group of sisters and this pregnancy story happened to the youngest one#who's always seen as needing to 'grow up' in season 1. so assuming this is meant to be building off that arc it's so WEIRD still#bc yes being a parent is an opportunity for many ppl to mature emotionally but that's not really something the character-#-reflects on all season. it's more abt her burying her past relationship w a season 1 guy (who was infinitely more interesting than new guy)#-than anything to do with that#AND EVEN IF IT WAS the notion of pregnancy as a punishment/reckoning meant to make her grow up or take responsibility-#-which is secretly a blessing in disguise i. god the show fell apart so hard here for me#and my mom and sister were just cooing over the baby at the end and i didn't speak up bc i didn't want to be a bitch#and in all fairness I'm probably being a tad uncharitable in this post but like. don't piss me OFF man#anyway. normalise abortion storylines that aren't backstory fodder and aren't fakeouts for baby plots. please
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slavhew · 9 months ago
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always covered in your tears and their blood.
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oceanwithouthermoon · 7 months ago
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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asklesbianonceler · 3 months ago
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I have not posted any of my analysis to reddit yet and I think I might just post it and ghost it. I've already spent too much time looking at other people's threads on there to feel any way good about interacting with folks.
I already went in an added the "I know you're going to bring this up let me save you the time" section which is exclusively touching on the frequent topics of:
"well what about the fingerprint nostrum and finger mimics? He is clearly just a crackpot"
And
"it's definitely some weird elaborate sacrifice to Metyr thing"
#if he's drinking hallucinogenic tea in his free time genuinely good for him. whatever man. i just do not think either of those items are-#at all relevant to the quest especially the nostrum because it is a placebo medicine and aint nothing fake about this shit#also i think theres a distinction between becoming fingers vs wanting to replace metyr? idk like as ive said i think he thinks he's-#better than the fingerweavers and rightfully so#like please come to a new conclusion other than “man this guy is on drugs”#also girl... metyr doesnt need sacrifices. like? where is that textually or in set design? metyr wants us to leave her the fuck alone#she's minding her own business EVERY TIME WE SPAWN INTO HER ZONE#like why are people so desperate for everything to have a dark undercurrent? not everything has to be some dark disney ass shit#“actually finding nemo is a hallucination & Marlin is insane & nemo is dead that movie is actually super fucked up & dory is a grim reaper”#like im sorry but this is how this extra shit all feels to me#like it is already fucked up and miserable?#is he 100% a good person? like thats genuinely person to person. theres personal gain from the quest#and hes definitely very good at getting what he wants#manipulate manifest mother#tail fingers on the vision board#devon yaps#and yap I did#like I don't want to be a bitch because yeah we should genuinely celebrate other peoples theories and hcs in these games#but i dont think “lol this guy is just on drugs” is one of those things#because i like spooky theories if theyre backed up.#but to say “its this weirdly horrible thing and youre all wrong” especially in his context is not great to me#Sorry. like may my own arrogance strike me down like the scholar i think i am 😤 farewell#because again its coming down to meeting this narrative without preconceived bias and most of the reddit stuff feels like-#“he is fucked up. won't say why. but i bet you know why i actually think this 🤫🤫🤫” like just you cant wrap your brain around guy mom#i do really want to reiterate this is about reddit shit. like i am so into people who love his character but interpret him more sinister💕😚#truly eating that shit up
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thedreadvampy · 7 months ago
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it's been a strange arc so far
when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'
when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'
the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'
#red said#this is about one specific relationship btw.#wanted to clarify that because there have been several men over 30 who fucked me up between the ages of 16 and 21#and i adamently do NOT want to keep pretending that was incompetence. that was predation. sometimes incompetent predation.#but with the person I'm thinking of? she really hurt me and the age gap and difference in life stage was a not insubstantial factor#but mostly she was just spiralling out really badly and i offered her something to hold and she did try to keep things balanced and safe#but she was very off balance at the time. so the fucking up was more that than it was about power or control#we were just both very stupid and very sensible at the same time which is a great way to dig yourselves deeper#and idk I'm like 2 or 3? years younger than she was when we met iirc#and the closer i get to her age the more I'm like yeah you know that's a human reaction. i can see how that happens.#and i kind of feel bad for the amount of bitterness I've held and malice I've ascribed because ultimately#i think it was just two people having different crises trying and failing to figure out boundaries around them#but this has come on really suddenly and it's kind of fucking me up as well#cause I'm frightened of falling back into patterns of oh it's never anyone else's fault that i got hurt#but i don't. thiiiiink so? bc it's really only this one thing. i am not making these excuses for other people.#idk. sometimes people just fuck each other up.#I'm not even sure i think it was a bad thing that it happened. a lot of bad happened but we also catalyzed a lot of change in each other.#i feel like the reason i keep picking at this is that it's complicated. it was not good. it was good.#she really fucked me up and she was a terrible friend to me at times. but she was also the first person to really look after me.#and she kind of helped me start to learn how to need other people. which was good.#when my grandma died she wrapped me in a blanket and cancelled her plans to watch TV on the couch with me#even though she barely knew me at that point#and she was one of the first people to consistently ask for consent and check in. and she did genuinely care about me.#but she also truly fucked me over a couple of times.#but mostly that was just because she was buried in a pit of despair and self loathing.#she seems a lot happier now. i hope she is. i don't know if i want to know her particularly but i think if she's happy she'd be nice to know
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narcopathyfiles · 13 days ago
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empathy like the actual experience of it is so interesting to read about it makes me feel like i'm 9 again and looking at stuff about mythological creatures. like it sounds so impossible and fascinating to me.
#i don't remember ever developing any even though i knew from a young age you're mostly supposed to help people in need#and That is like partially natural to me because i would do it from my place of lacking empathy and it would come off like i'm just#very composed most of the time. like reliable and mature. ofc as i got older then people started being pickier calling me cold hearted etc#but like. to me. it sounds so much harder to be actually helpful if you're being empathetic?#like when you're distressed often you can't see the Actual best course of action#if you panic during a medical emergency for example it's way way harder to do proper first aid.#one time my mom cut her finger really bad while making lunch for a family gathering and everyone was panicking i was like. idk 12#didn't really know as much first aid but it was a ton of blood and everyone was like hounding her and comforting her? And i had to be like#Guys she has to wrap this up and go get stitches get out of the way.#what would have happened if i just started crying or something.#what would have happened if the nurse stitching her up was experiencing her pain and fear somehow.#i think the bitch would've lost her thumb because it sounds insane to me that people can like. Function while mirroring the distress#of another. they can call me a heartless freak all they want but i still saved mine and others' asses from like Tetanus.#because i was the only one to not feel these emotions#like it's crazy. how did humanity survive as a species if Empathy is so prevalent how did we care for our families?#do i just happen to know like... dysfunctionally empathetic people..?#i don't know man.
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nobodieshero-main · 7 months ago
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NOBODY MOVE I'M HAVING POSITIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT MORDRED AND ATLAS.
#they finally talk. mordred tells his big brother that 'once upon a time i was supposed to stop breathing before i hit my teens.'#he tells him everything about knowing when his death day passed about the nightmares and the confusion and the agoraphobia#he tells him about his insecurities and his self-hatred -- how terribly must he have fucked up to not even be worthy of dying?#he tells him he's scared and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do with all this....life.#and atlas is THERE and he hugs him and he's so fucking relieved that - whatever his brother was meant for - he survived.#he hugs his little brother and tells him its okay to be scared because no one really knows what theyre doing with their lives#he holds his face between his hands and god when did mordred get so big?#''all you have to do is KEEP living okay? that's what you do with life: you live it.''#its not exactly poetry but it IS what mordred needs to hear#ive been thinking A Lot about mordred making an appearance in the searching but idk for sure yet#i just need to figure out WHEN this conversation happens so i can wrap up mordreds arc the way he deserves#i think im gonna try patching his and atlas's relationship across the second and third book#like atlas is HOME and then he's not and mordred is bitter but then- a letter. atlas has written to him.#and he keeps writing. bc he knows now what it is to lose someone and he doesnt want to lose his brother#so they're pen pals!! and it's stiff and formal and awkward and slow going but eventually they're exchanging gossip and venting and.#aaaa#happy lavore content wow look at me go#lavore brothers#mordred lavore#atlas lavore
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seventh-district · 22 hours ago
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it's always something. PLEASE can i just go One single day without there being Something
#vent post#cw injury mention#cw shooting mention#don't know why i keep getting involved in these political debates with an old ignorant drunkard. i'd be better off talking to a brick wall#i say 'talking' as if he ever lets me get a word in edgewise. he just wants a Nice Quiet Woman to complain to. not a real conversation.#can't believe i spent 2hrs last night trying to explain basic facts about the universe and evolution when he probably remembered none of it#not to quote Dr. Ratio in a vent post but. the most annoying thing about idiocy Truly is that you can't explain it to an idiot#'i am a STRAIGHT MAN 😡😡😡 how do you expect me to give you a QUEER answer???' bro all i did was ask why u don't like gay ppl.. chill...#'well in BibLIcaL tiMeS-' man u just ranted abt how ur atheist & don't believe in the bible. u can't turn around and use it in an argument#so we somehow went from fictional stories to The Gays to religion to outer space to the birth of the universe to evolution to currency#and when he started in on China & covid i simply had to walk away. i can't listen to any more of his regurgitated propaganda conspiracies#oh and how can i forget the tangent he went off on about his beloved guns after the Antioch shooting yesterday! that took 30mins at least#i did read the kid's manifesto and lowkey wish i hadn't because Jesus Fucking Christ i'm so worried about the state of children online#i really do love the internet and the countless good things it has brought into the world and into my own life#but i didn't have access to it until i was.. 11 i think? and the internet was a Very different place in 2011 than it is in the 2020s#worst i did was watch clickbait YT videos about mermaids being real. now 9 year-olds are getting radicalized on Twitch???#idk i'm so 'old' and out of the loop now. i barely recognized like half of those words he used. but god i'm worried sick for the kids.#anyways. all last night's 'debate' accomplished was me getting told that my fiction writing doesn't do anything good for the world#and got reminded that being gay is a mental illness. :) and that he doesn't trust in science. or anything logical for that matter#he's just gonna keep saying the same bullshit he was raised to believe without a single critical thought as to whether it was correct#i'm done trying to find common ground with someone like that. waste of my precious time. i could be playing a video game lmao#anyways later that evening i accidentally sustained some burns to my left hand. and i am totally fine. but i was too tired to clean & wrap-#-it up before i fell asleep. so i woke up hours later panicked from a nightmare with my hand fucking throbbing and my mom standing over me#in her own little panic because she didn't check her fucking pants pockets and accidentally washed her flip phone and it was. well. soaked.#so i got to spend all morning taking it apart in hopes of salvaging it so i don't have to hassle with moving her number to a new one!!!#then poured hydrogen peroxide all over my burned hand Knowing it wasn't the best idea but i. did it anyways bc my hubris cannot be stopped#and holy shit that didn't feel good! had to keep reminding myself to breathe or i was gonna pass out lmao that shit made my joints hurt#how does a skin wound ache all the way down to the bone. anyways. it's wrapped now and i'm Alllll better :) no mental illness in This body#anyways thanks to that i got out of making dinner and doing the dishes! and i got a burger and fries and am dipping them in ice cream#the fries not the burger im not that unhinged. anyways now im gonna boot up Genshin and try to turn my tired little brain off for the night
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