narcopathyfiles - Tumblr blog

narcopathyfiles · 17 hours ago

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i don't know what people who are loved without even having to try have that i don't but i want it so bad it makes me look stupid

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narcopathyfiles · 2 days ago

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#really depends on the case honestly #people are gonna be biased when they think about themselves like #that could go a lot of directions i didn't believe i had aspd even after professionals clocked me I thought i was just normal and they hated #me lmfao #and when there is stigma involved it's 100% gonna affect how people label themselves #Like a lot of people who claim bpd only sound very narc-y to me #i think it's ok but you have to do research and understand you might turn out to be wrong.#ideally i think it's best to talk about it with other people who have pds i found that can help you distinguish stuff #at the end of the day professionals are biased too anyway you might as well dyi it for certain things. who cares

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narcopathyfiles · 3 days ago

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I survived withdrawal and slept at a civilized time about it im basically a model citizen

i thiunk i got withdrawal

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narcopathyfiles · 4 days ago

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i thiunk i got withdrawal

#super mild im just So nauseous. christ alive.#i should be able to get a refill later today though #just gotta fuckign #survive a few hours

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narcopathyfiles · 4 days ago

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got mogged at the dance studio yesterday i'm still not over it

#Very difficult to be a bisexual narc. like damn that girl was so hot i kinda want her . but also like #my main character moment it is over......#i need to stress how Beautiful this girl was like.#just out of this world #i'm not even into other fems tbh she was just that hot #i don't even like her AESTHETIC she haf a pink glitter stanley cup. usually i'd be like Lol stanley #but she's too pretty. she can drink out of a stanley and look hot doing it. the world allows it to happen.

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narcopathyfiles · 6 days ago

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who want me

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narcopathyfiles · 7 days ago

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honestly i can't be bothered with Really being a cunt most of the time i talked about it before but i have to mention it again because lately i have really wanted to do it. but then i think FUCK there's gonna be an argument i don't care enough to do this. then i smile and nod

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narcopathyfiles · 7 days ago

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sometimes i forget the disorders i have are considered like. serial killer syndrome basically. like my ass could Not do any serial killing.why would i do this. i already hate doing laundry

#like i want people to Like me but i also do not care enough to make the effort to project a really elaborate persona. or whatever #the end result is that i just do the bare minimum to be nice and polite and end up being a really normal person sometimes. i think #they cancel each other out it's funny

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narcopathyfiles · 8 days ago

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ahhhh so the guilt is NOT supposed to be neverending and haunting and constant and persisting beyond a doubt over even the most menial of things that i would not be upset at someone else for. i understand now.

#huge if true

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narcopathyfiles · 9 days ago

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really hot take that i sincerely really hope i can properly get across because i find it very important. but. i think that people should not be obsessing over politics and how fucked the world is rn and Please stick around just a little longer so i can explain it i'm not saying it should be ignored. i'm not even in a place where i get to ignore it. i'm a working class woman of color in a country that is just a little bit less fucked than the usa right now. we had a fascist government that lasted from the 60s to almost the 90s .people were getting jailed and literally tortured when my parents were kids. i'm not trying to talk down to anyone who feels helpless and scared because i find it really reasonable.

but the human brain can only handle so much misery before it shuts down, consuming a constant stream of horrible news can and will burn you out. a lot of people are already burning out!! you might not notice it happen to you because it feels like it makes sense and the world is just going up in flames and there's nothing to be done. but the thing is that whenever rights are taken away people need to fight to get them back and if you're stuck with feeling so hopeless you can't even think of what to do to help yourself and others then you won't do it.

you can't be aware of every horrible thing all the time and you should not be. seriously please have Some form of escapist hobby or something to keep yourself sane and remind yourself that life is worth living because that's what will give you strength when you actually have to do something to try to change your situation. no one is able to help everybody and that doesn't make you evil it just makes you human. do not get stuck on the guilt and fear because it will paralyze you and then you won't be able to help anyone at all.

#i hope this makes sense. if something is unclear just let me know i will try to explain it #also i don't expect any of my posts to do numbers but if you found this worth reading i'd appreciate to have it like #shared? if it's helpful in any way. i know a lot of americans are freaking out rn and i don't blame them at all #idk i don't have an empathy instinct. you all know this. i'm just kinda speaking as someone who sees what this kind of hopelessness does to #people. if you want to help the world you need to help yourself first.#if you want to get involved with anything that will help others you will need to have a Source of hope that will fuel you and make you #believe it's worth to do all of this. otherwise you won't be able to get through it. okay?#tldr. please survive

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narcopathyfiles · 10 days ago

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anyway to counteract me being really uncomfortable right now. i would like to share i had a slice of this cake that had like dates and banana in it and it was tasty i really love dates. easily fit into my top 10 foods

so fucking weird to exist in a family full of disordered eating and then you recover and you're eating pretty normal then you look at the other people and it's like Ohh they're weird weird. i see

#might grab some before i go out there's a lot of places who sell dates around here #they're one of my favorite things ever i really like the texture it's so fun #i like stuff you can put in a bowl and eat little bites of over a long time span

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narcopathyfiles · 10 days ago

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so fucking weird to exist in a family full of disordered eating and then you recover and you're eating pretty normal then you look at the other people and it's like Ohh they're weird weird. i see

#like i eat really normally right now i don't think about what i'm gonna eat. i just don't go for dairy or fried stuff often cause i got gerd #idgaf about what everyone else is eating . i do not comment i do not judge #i am in my lane eating snacks.#then some bitch has to be like woaaghh you're eating so little or woahhhg you're eating so much #then say some shit about how i'm dieting or whatever like .#no you are a binge eater. i know this bc i used to do that also. leave me alone?

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narcopathyfiles · 10 days ago

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my god. i do not gaf about flooding in another neighborhood take it somewhere ELSE

#how do people have the Budget to care about whats going on in the world like this 😭 do you not get tired #it's so annoying then i get called weird if i don't perform Feeling Bad For It #like be for real ... there's no way You care that much either

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narcopathyfiles · 13 days ago

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#ME #LITERALLY #oh my god i wanna make a moodboard just to put this in it

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narcopathyfiles · 13 days ago

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Today i will ponder about what makeup i should wear to Ballet Lesson. like if i decide to go tomorrow

#i've been trying out a lot of things for fun but like ummm.#suddenly if you have to keep all your hair off your facw this shit get serious #at the same time though i do not want to show up to what is essentially a workout wirh a ton of stuff on my face.

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narcopathyfiles · 14 days ago

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well i do not think i am very in the wrong by not entertaining unprompted venting from a 18 year old who got mad at ME because our parents started a fight over some blaming me for some shit i literally did not do love and light

#maybe you should have tried helping with the chores instead of leaving them all to me you lazy piece of shit 🫶#i'm so fucking tired of coddling my brother i don't know why i ever wasted my fucking time this kid doesn't care if i live or die #thank god for splitting play i'm like a bird

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narcopathyfiles · 15 days ago

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idk if it's because my other feelings feel so bland so it's a lot stronger by comparison but jesus christ what did i do to deserve experiencing like shame on steroids.

#actually suffocating sometimes i worry i developed a food allergy without noticing.#like this feels so physical it's worse than anything i felt from illness genuinely.#Luckily there is drugs

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