#i might do more of these posts for like.. phase 2 + 3 in the future | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

for-your-modesty-dude · 23 days ago

Text

Reentry

Part 2

A/N: I'm back bitches. Life has been so insane. Like I said in my previous post, I have a 9-5 job and a small business that I'm trying to grow. I just did a 4 weekend Renaissance Faire run, and while that was great, it was also absolutely insane and exhausting. I did nothing but work and restock and try not to make myself sick from overexertion. BUT here we are :) and here's part of that fic I was asking for interest about. I have more parts planned if you're interested, so let me know if you'd like to see more of this world. Love you allllll! - Hy <3

p.s. please tell me if you want to be added to my taglist!

Summary: While you're working one morning, a new face comes in to get coffee - a face you soon recognize as the guy your friends have been talking about since you moved to Hawkins. He becomes a part of your routine very quickly - and you can't help but feel a fondness to this stranger-turning-friend. Maybe you can help him in this new phase of his life.

Warnings: Mentions of drugs and doing time.

Word Count: ~2k

Even after years of owning your own coffee shop, the one thing you never quite got used to were the early morning hours. You often scheduled yourself for opening shifts, to give your staff breaks and to make sure you were there for the opening of the coffee shop and then later, the bookstore. Two birds, one stone, you supposed. You opened up like usual, your two employees for that morning joining at their appropriate times. Around 7 a.m., things really started to pick up, so you took orders with one of the other girls. When the rush died down, you stayed at the register and let her go on her break. The man who approached you next in line had wild brown curls only managed by the loose bun he had them tied up in, and he wore a worn black leather jacket, ripped black jeans that might have fit him properly in the past, but fell loosely on his figure now, and a concert tee from a show you’d gone to in Indie a few years back.

“Hi!” You chirped, “what can I get for you?”

He looked at you, almost spooked, before shaking it off and looking back at the menu, clearly new here.

“Can I, uh - just get a…” he squinted as if he wasn’t reading it right, “paladin’s brew?”

“You read that right,” you promised with a soft giggle. “Yes, absolutely. Name?”

He hesitated a moment, mouth opening and closing like he was nervous to tell you. Before he could, you put the pieces together: hair, metal band tee, leather jacket. “Eddie! You’re Eddie! Right?” His eyes widened, once again spooked.

“Um… yeah. I’m - Eddie, yeah,” he looked around as if to check if anyone else had overheard, but the place was pretty empty for the moment. You couldn’t know it, but he was freaked out that maybe his reputation had continued to spread even in his absence. “Eddie the-”

“The DM, right? We have mutual friends. They speak so highly of you, seriously!”

He was taken aback by the way you spoke to him and about him, and was suddenly very curious. “You’re the girl Gareth told me about, uh…” he snapped his fingers as he tried to remember your name, and got it right on his first try. “Hard to forget,” he added. That made you smile, and you pointed at the pastry display.

“Pick something, please,” you insisted with a smile, and he hesitated before choosing one of the stuffed cookies. “This one’s on the house. As a welcome home gift. Did you wanna pick out a book, too? I don’t imagine you got to read any recent releases.”

He started to protest the kindness, not wanting to cause a fuss, but you stood firm.

“Are you sure your boss is cool with you doing this for me?” He worried.

“I assure you, the boss would want you to choose a book for yourself,” you promised, a tad amused, and he eventually gave in, sheepish. You finished up his coffee and bagged his now-warmed cookie, and walked around the counter to walk him into the bookstore, unlocking the door that connected the two shops.

He looked around when he walked in, entranced by the decor and sheer amount of books. He hadn’t seen something like this in almost five years. He hadn’t even told his friends he’d gotten out this morning, having wanted a moment to himself before everyone undoubtedly would make a big deal of him being home. After the constant vigilance of a prison, the idea of being alone was something that attracted him very much, so when you closed the door to the bookstore behind you both, he looked at you, puzzled.

“Not open to the public yet,” you shrugged with a smile, “but you’re welcome to browse all you want. I’ll be right here.”

You grabbed a book from behind the register and took a seat on a plush couch, opening up your book to read while he got to take in the place himself. You let him wander away through the shelves, occasionally looking up at him curiously. He was prettier than you’d imagined. Your friends didn’t have very many photos of him, and the ones they did were from high school. Sure, you’d imagined he’d still be pretty, but not nearly this pretty. He caught you watching him at one point, and flashed you a sheepish but grateful kind of smile, and you couldn’t help but smile back before burying your nose in your book again to hide the shame of being caught staring.It took him about fifteen minutes of perusing before he peeked out at you from behind a shelf. “Shit, am I keeping you from your job?” He asked, concerned, and you just shook your head.

“Nah, take your time. I have all the time in the world. Trust me. There’s so much to look through, please don’t rush. Find a good book, or a couple.” Your nose scrunched a little when you smiled at him, and he noticed, and it made him smile.

He nodded, and went back to his search. It was another twenty minutes before he came back over quietly, holding two books. “I can’t choose between these two. Choose for me?”

He showed you his options, and you pursed your lips as you considered, “I think you should take both.”

“But-”

“I insist,” you smiled at him, grabbing a cloth tote back from the register area, and opening it for him. “Take ‘em both. Don’t worry about it.”

The way he looked at you made it all worth it. He put the books into the bag gingerly and took it, holding it close like it was something precious. His cookie was eaten and his coffee cup empty, so you extended a hand for his trash. “And a refill for the road?”

“No, I can’t put you out like that,” he shook his head. “I really can’t.”

You bumped his hip with yours gently, “consider it a welcome home. Just don’t make it a habit of having to come home from prison, yeah?” You tried to make a joke, and for a moment feared it fell awfully flat, but then you heard his warm laughter, and that made you smile really big.

“I- yeah. Okay, I can agree to those terms,” his eyes crinkled with his smile, and you led him back into the cafe before refilling his coffee and sliding it across the counter. “Thank you,” he told you simply. “For everything. I’ll, uh… I’ll see you at the next movie night I’m told we apparently have,” he gave a face that showed he had no idea what the current hangout habits were. You just giggled and waved.

“Yeah, Eddie. I’ll see you there. Come by anytime.”

…….........................................

It didn’t take that long for you to see Eddie again. In fact, instead of waiting to see him when you saw your friends, you barely had to wait at all. Two days later, he showed up in the morning, for another cup of coffee. He looked sleepier this time, still in his leather jacket, ripped jeans, and a band t-shirt, though this time it was a band you’d heard of but weren’t super familiar with. When he saw you, he smiled, eyes lighting up a bit, with the warmth of recognition gleaming in them. “Hi. I couldn’t stop thinking about that coffee, so… I’m back,” he told you, and you couldn’t help your beaming smile back.

“So are you getting the same as last time? Or do you wanna try something new?”

He chewed on his lip as he considered it, and let out a hum. “I think… um… maybe something new. Five years of repetition is enough,” he nodded decisively, and it made you smile.

“Something new. Well, if you liked the Paladin brew, I think you’ll really like the Salty Bard. It uses the same base espresso, but it’s got a salted caramel twist to it,” you told him, already getting everything ready to make him his drink.

He agreed with an intrigued look, and you prepared his drink while trying to make conversation - who he’d seen so far, how his return to real life was treating him. You learned that he’d only really seen his band and Dustin, but that he figured they’d want to throw him some kind of homecoming soon. You kept quiet, but you had heard rumors of a homecoming dinner party yourself, when Dustin had stopped by the day prior to borrow a book you’d promised him.

When he had his drink in hand, you also handed Eddie a new pastry to try. You’d allowed him to pay for his coffee, so he started to pull out his wallet and you refused. You had something of a silent battle of wills staring contest, but you did ultimately win, and he sipped gratefully at his coffee while snacking on the muffin top you’d given him. You were going to take your break to chat with him, but as the foot traffic in the shop increased, so did his discomfort, until he excused himself to go about his day. You noticed, but didn’t comment.

Eddie’s visits became something regular. Two weeks into his being home, you’d seen him every other day, almost like clockwork. It was like he knew when the shop was slow, because he only ever appeared when it wasn’t busy. Until the one Saturday he arrived, looking disheveled. He had on his usual leather jacket, faded blue jeans, and a black band hoodie, hands stuffed in his hoodie pocket. You quickly hopped behind the register to take his order before the group of teens waiting in line, but thankfully they were too distracted chatting with one another to really notice.

Eddie’s curls were falling out of his bun, but he made no move to fix the hairdo, just sighing when he got to the register. He’d tried all of the coffee options, so he was starting to make his way through the teas now. “Surprise me?” He requested softly, and you couldn’t help but smile and comply.

“You look frazzled,” you said, not unkindly, as you tried to make conversation while making his drink.

He let out an amused huff and sighed. “That obvious?”

“You’re here when there are people around, for one,” you point out with a smile, “and your bun is coming loose. I’m no detective, but I can sense a change in pattern when I see one.” He stuffed a dollar in the tip jar, and nodded silently. You didn’t push, just waiting as you prepared his drink. It was a beat before he finally spoke up.

“I have a job interview later, bartending at a place nearby. The only place willing to interview me. And I’m trying not to lose my shit about it. Cause I can only couch surf for so long, you know?” He pulled his hair tie out and ran a hand through his messy curls, before pulling them up again, neater this time. “People aren’t exactly lining up to hire a convict.”

Your heart tugged at the insinuation that he was somehow less than, and you pursed your lips. “Why don’t you interview here? We’re hiring openers.”

He looked back up at you curiously, like you were suggesting something entirely insane. “You sure the boss would want me around paying customers? Half this town still thinks I’m some kinda drug dealing cult leader. Is that who your boss wants making coffees and taking orders?”

“A reformed drug dealing cult leader, that’s how you sell it,” you teased, to which he cracked a smile. “Besides, I promise, the powers that be here? They don’t care about your reputation or what people think of you. If you’re interested in interviewing… just let me know. We can schedule something.” You slid his drink to him and he raised it in quiet thanks.

“Yeah, I’ll… I’ll think about it. I’ll definitely think about it. Thank you,” he offered you a soft sort of smile, before heading out the door.

Tags: @am0iur @ali-r3n @hellmastereddie @ziggeddie @nojamsonmytoast @seedlingghost @loveu2themoonandsaturn @aliceheart247 @littlemissholy @daydreampending @justalotoffanfiction @midnightdragonzero @iyskgd @girlwedontcare

184 notes · View notes

butterflytarot · 29 days ago

Text

Beginner's Sea/Water Witchcraft

Hey, beginners!

I've posted a few of these (one of which earlier today) and so far people have been really receptive, so I thought I'd keep going! It's really fun to connect with all of you & share more knowledge / experiences! This post's topic is about sea/water witchcraft! This post is quite extensive compared to my other ones that I've made like this, because it kind of branches into various topics, but all have to do with water/sea witchcraft!

As my usual disclaimer, this is simply my knowledge and my teachings that I've come across & developed through research, speaking with others, cultural teachings, etc. However, everyone has the right to believe what they like, I just hope this serves as beneficial to some of you somehow, whether it be providing information you resonate with or just teaching you something cool.

Lastly... BEFORE DOING ANYTHING: SET UP THOROUGH PROTECTIONS!

Comment any questions :D

Beginner-Friendly Practices for Sea Witches (Give + Take: Mutuality)

Working with the ocean can be as simple as giving and being given to. It requires self-reflection, and it requires working in relationship with the ocean and the land.

Pick up trash: Cleaning up litter around the beach/water. It shows that you care and are considering the ocean and its inhabitants and relatives. This can be done as an offering, gift, favor, or just because!

Offerings: Giving food, aquatic items, etc (biodegradable or safe for the sea/land/creatures) to the waves/sand (also counts for returning items that belong to the ocean!)

Accept gifts, don't steal: Taking only what is being given to you by the ocean (for example, your intuition might tell you to turn around, and when you do, you spot a sand dollar -- that sand dollar is intended for you, a gift. If you bump a shell with your foot, it may have been meant for you. If you tripped on a shell, it’s probably not meant for you - it just tripped you! You can take that as an accident or a sign.)

Connection: Sitting by or in the waves; putting your hands and/or feet in the water (this may be calming or grounding). Quality time and good company is always a friendly gesture!

In my opinion: We can learn a lot from the ocean. We can receive many blessings from it. It’s only right that we do something in return. We are symbiotic with water. It’s important that we value it.

Water Types & Common Uses/Properties

Disclaimer: The following list is nuanced, as it can change depending on culture or practice. I tried to be inclusive, but this is a brief guide. Depending on your practice, make sure you are mindful with your intentions and energy work, be aware of what properties you'd like to utilize and which you wouldn't.

River water: Flow, movement, travel, banishing (cleanse yourself of ill health, negativity, etc, as you let abundance, good health, prosperity rain down on you), communication with the spirit world. Often associated with creation, fertility, and purification

Ocean water: Purification (cleanses & refreshes), healing (in many ways, one of which is deep shadow work), power, divination, opens energy centers

Lake water: Peace, stillness, divination, knowledge, strength

Storm water: High energy, force, personal power, big changers, chaos

Holy well water: Blessings, healing, purification, protection

Dew: Renewal, healing, beauty

Moon water: Lunar energy (depends on the moon phase), emotions, empathy, intuition, intentions

Sun water: Solar energy, illumination, power

Floral / herbal waters: Holds the energies of those plants

Snow / ice: Stagnation, stillness, getting unstuck (if melted), transformation

Conch Shells

Conch shells are, and can be, used for a variety of purposes and practices. This section includes some of the usages, benefits, associations, and properties of conch shells.

Common / Main Spiritual properties:

1. Used for good luck, healing and protection

2. Feminine energy

3. Energy purification

Other Spiritual properties:

Communication with the spirit world

Abundance and prosperity

Getting rid of negative energy and evil spirits

Brilliance, luster, purity, and auspicious beginnings

The existence of the spirit of the sea

The animation of succeeding generations by the spirit of the ancestors

Rituals & Symbolism:

ceremonial instruments in Pre-Incan temples

metaphysical symbol of fertility, luck, infinity, and interconnectedness (according to the Metropolitan Museum)

used in some cultural weddings, for brides to blow a conch shell as part of rituals (I believe this is Bengali but don't quote me on that)

Conch shells are used in rituals to mark important religious, life and agricultural milestones, like birth/death or religious initiation

in Hinduism, conch shells are used for their purifying properties

In some African-American and Afro-Caribbean cemeteries, conch shells are placed on graves

representation of infinity and the cyclical nature of life, death, and rebirth, as well as interconnectedness and Indigenous concepts of time (the spiral)

Fertility and feminine aspects of birth, life, etc

A vessel filled with the water of life and a symbol of the womb

Mother of Pearl

Mother of pearl is, and can be, used for a variety of purposes and practices. This section goes over some of the spiritual usages, benefits, associations, and properties of mother of pearl.

Healing (physical and mental/emotional):

Soothes or calms emotions

Stirs, balances & harmonizes emotions

Healing (the mind):

Divinity and intuition

Potentially enhances psychic sensitivity and imagination

Prosperity

Feminine energy

Potentially protects against negative energies

Thank you for reading this far!

I hope that these bits of information are somehow helpful to you!

157 notes · View notes

stormystarlight · 2 months ago

Text

everybody give itup for the slug #myslug

experimental painting from my backlog, number 3 out of 3. so that's all for now! i painted this one after a few days of playing the watcher (because i got excited about Slug), which meant there was a decent half-month gap between it and the last one.

i think i did a lot better with my use of halftones & the rake this time. they stand out way more which is what i wanted!

when i started this piece i envisioned it with a dark/almost black background, but when i got to the actual painting phase it made me realize how much i like the Vibrant Underpainting That Influences The Whole Color Palette thing. switching out the background immediately made me like it way more, but next time i want to practice keeping the underpainting beneath the Character Only so i can get the look i want while still having a dark background.

in the first 2 paintings i added a texture overlay on top of the whole thing and it made them look pretty good. i forgiot it on this one. i miss my texture overlay, tails. i miss it a lot. i know i could just go back and add it now but im not doing that

idk how many people read them, but i've been enjoying writing these progress/thought process summaries under these posts. they're specifically applicable to this 'experimental painting' series because i don't know what the hell i'm doing, but i might add them to more 'normal' posts going forward just because i can

#rain world #rain world ocs #my art #digital art #digital painting #my ocs #imminent accord (oc)#slugcat #2025

163 notes · View notes

vxm1tcxre · 10 months ago

Text

Pvrging harm reduction masterpost (from someone who’s had severe bul1m14 for 3 years, and who wishes they’d gotten this advice)

I get asked a lot and see posts asking for “tips” around pvrging.

I absolutely do not condone it. It’s a horrendously dangerous, unpleasant, and addictive behavior, and often a slippery slope to full-swing bul1m14 (and trust me, that is not something you want, for the sake of your wallet and sanity).

However, I do acknowledge that that doesn’t get in the way of the urge to do it. It certainly didn’t for me. That’s not how 3ds work. Being told how dangerous and horrible something is often is just more enticing. I know people are going to try it regardless. And frankly, I’d much rather focus on tips to stay safe over just telling you “don’t do it” like a Christian parent preaching abstinence. Harm reduction is king, especially on a platform like 3dblr.

So, here is a list of things to help you stay safe.

1. I feel like I should reiterate this again- if you at all can, don’t start. It’s not the c4ls-be-gone magic spell it might seem to be. Starting is what ended my r3str1ct1v3 phase. I thought it’d just be a last resort for when I ate too much. Fast forward to now, it’s been 3 years since my first time and I consume a good 6k+ c4ls every single day, have g4ined a ton of w3ight, feel like shit all the time, have no control around food, am constantly broke, have done things that would make people gag, and have all the risk with no reward. Ultimately, you will not l0se w3ight with pvrging. It gets harder and less effective the longer you do it. While the “you can only get rid of 50%” you often hear is a myth, being bul1m1c destroys your control, and eating maintenance in addition to whatever c4ls you didn’t manage to pvrge will inevitably lead to w3ight gain over time. It simply isn’t worth it.

2. DO NOT USE FOREIGN OBJECTS. It is legitimately so dangerous. Massive choking hazard and generally terrible for your throat. If you can’t get a response with your fingers, don’t do it. I promise, getting rid of some chicken nuggets is not worth getting a plastic fork lodged down your throat and almost dying. (Yes, I am speaking from experience)

3. Some people are simply incapable of inducing v0m1t1ng. It’s more common than is talked about and is completely normal. Frankly, if you have urges to pvrge and find that you can’t do it, consider it a sign.

4. Do not brush your teeth directly after. This is because the bristles of your toothbrush will rub the acid into your enamel, increasing the chances of decay.

5. Baking soda is magic. Swish about a teaspoon with some water in your mouth to neutralize the acid. Swallowing some (significantly less- about 1/4 to 1/2 tsp) is also an easy remedy for acid reflux. Get checked and have your teeth cleaned at the dentist’s regularly- if damage starts occurring, you can catch and mitigate it early.

6. Maintain good dental health as much as you can. Continue to brush and floss regularly. Keep in mind, however, that you can’t avoid tooth decay forever. It’s inevitable with long-term pvrging.

7. One of the biggest risks is electrolyte deficiencies. You often hear of people dying from cardiac arrest. This is because thr0wing up depletes your potassium, which helps with muscle contraction. Your heart is a muscle. If it’s unable to contract, it will fail. After pvrging, replenish your electrolytes. Coconut water, Gatorade, pedialyte, anything that contains the nutrients you just got rid of.

8. Also remember to stay normally hydrated. Even just drinking water is better than nothing. pvrging dehydrates you.

9. DO NOT FLUSH. It’s one of the most dangerous games you can play.

10. Try and eat something safe after the fact, especially if you’re having symptoms of low blood sugar (shaking, dizziness, sweating, a rapid heartbeat). This can be easier said than done but it’s crucial to getting back to normal. Something easy on your stomach with some c4rbs is ideal- toast, rice cakes, crackers, etc.

11. Avoid hot showers or baths or exercising directly after. You will lose more water through sweating. Wash your hands and face- especially around your chin and mouth, pvrge-induced acne is a real thing- and rest for a while.

12. Warm drinks or cold foods like popsicles or ice cream are very soothing on the throat. Throat coat tea and hot chocolate are quite nice. The former may be best if your stomach isn’t feeling well.

13. You will bloat like crazy whenever you eat if you pvrge long term. It’s hell on your digestive tract in general. It’s one of my biggest struggles and pet peeves. Honestly, you can only really wait for it to go away. Remember that it will with time, and do something to distract yourself from it. Some things that in my experience have made it less severe are to eat at a reasonable pace, chew your food thoroughly, and sip drinks rather than chugging them.

14. L4x4t1v3s absolutely aren’t worth it. You don’t really get rid of anything and it’s a fast track to dependency and being horrifically constipated whenever you don’t use them. Stay away. If you must, opt for natural remedies like teas, fiber-rich foods, chia seeds, etc.

15. If you take medication, wait several hours before pvrging. It obviously won’t work if you just get rid of it.

Feel free to reblog this with any advice of your own. I hope this helps some of you; stay safe out there.

#m14blr #bullemya #💡as a 🪶#actually bul1m1c #skin&🦴fightback #skin&🩻#pvrging #tw pvrge #sk1nand🦴#sk1n@nd🩻#skin@ndbones #skinandbonesfightback #sk1n&🩻#sk1n&b0nes #bully mia #b1ng3 purg3 #b1ng3 #skin&🦴#skin&🩻fightback

422 notes · View notes

hehe-69 · 3 months ago

Text

Bonfire Part 5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

WARNINGS: FLUFF ANGST CRYING WOLFPACK CURSSING KISSING🤭 LONG LONG POST

Also I’ve realized I totally write Jacob after phasing as different then the books. I only really know him from how he was before he phased and from the movies. So bro is going to be a love bug with overprotective tendencies and a heart of gold. And a pinch of anger issues.

As always I hope y’all enjoy my horrendous writing<3 the ending is a lil rushed because I got excited to post it sorry not sorry

Summary: There is no worse feeling in the world then sitting next to people you love and knowing in the back of your head. That they don’t see you, they don’t understand who you are and how you feel and they never even try to.

There’s not a worse feeling then being around people and feeling alone. You realized that you have spent so much of your life feeling like this. The days you spend with Jacob, you feel more seen than you ever have in your life.

Jacob noticed the small little details and changes in you that no one else in your life ever had. Jacob loves with everything he is. And you reveled in that, you reveled in him. His mannerisms, the little things about Jacob Black. His shyness and playful nature, his sarcasm and friendliness, the way he cares so deeply about everything in his life even though he tries to hide it.

But first, you had to deal with the skeletons in your closet, to reach a relationship of this magnitude. As described above. You will know what it is to be loved by Jacob Balck, this is just the beginning of the long road ahead. Each mile more lovelier then the last.

—

Jacob was more himself then he had been in months within the days you spent with him in his room. And you’ve never felt such an overwhelming amount of love and admiration for another human being then you did within the small quiet moments you stole with the Jake.

—————

Within the time Carlisle had spent setting up the morphine drip for Jacob, you were able to do your nightly routine and change into pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt. If you were going to spend the night at Billy Black’s, home you might as well get comfortable.

“Could you tell Bella I said thank you for the bag she packed?” You ask Carlisle shyly. “I’m grateful she went out of her way to do it.” You really were, honestly you’re a little surprised she would do that for you after you ripped her ass just a couple of hours ago.

“Of course.” Carlisle replied kindly and put a hand on your shoulder. “Make sure he doesn’t try to get out of bed for the next couple of days. I know he has a tendency to be quite reckless.”

“Absolutely, I’ll keep an eye on him. Thank you again for doing this Carlisle. I deeply appreciate it and I know Billy does too.” Carlisle laughs softly. “Well I appreciate your honesty (Y/N). I’m sure Jacob is more than happy to have you around.” Is that a hint of playfulness you hear in Carlisle voice.

“I have ears ya know.” Jacob hisses, and you can’t believe your eyes as you catch a hint of a smirk on Carlisle face. You frown on confusion, is Carlisle teasing Jacob?

The pale but majestically beautiful man chuckles and leaves the room after politely saying his goodbyes. You turn to Jacob and glare suspiciously at him. “What was that about?” Your question makes Jacob shyly look around the room, as he stammers a reply. “Vampire mind games?” Jacob offers unsurely. “Vampire mind games,” you raise your brow and cross your arms as you lean against the door frame. “That’s the best you got?”

“Yup…” Jacob says meekly and you stare at him with deadpan eyes. “You’re so full of shit your eyes are brown.” Your voice is full of amusement as you shake your head, giving up on getting a real answer out of the Quileute boy.

“Hey now, that’s not very nice.” Jacob fake pouts and you can’t help the smile that comes to your face as you admire how adorable he looks in this moment. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” You say playfully as you sit in the chair by Jacob’s bed. “All I got from that was you think I’m cute.” Jacob grins, as you glare at him. “Shut up and go to sleep hot shot.” You grumble at him and he full belly laughs before yelling out in pain.

Instantly you cringe and your horrified at his pain as you shoot up from you chair. “Sit back down I’m fine.” Bullshit, you think to yourself, Jacob can hardly get the words out as he grimaces. “Jacob your not-“I don’t need anyone babying me! I said I’m fine!” Jacob’s always been stubborn. “Jake I-“Seriously (Y/N), don’t.” He cuts you and glares, but there’s something in the glint of his eyes that takes the edge off his words. “I don’t need you to remind me of how much of a burden I am right now.” And your heart breaks at the way his voice cracks. You let out a heavy sigh and sit back down.

You think your words through carefully as you choose them. “Jake” you begin softly “I would nev“Please (Y/N) I can’t-“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME SPEAK.” You hiss out, and Jacob falters before nodding softly. “Thank you.” You say, but your voice is fulled with frustration. “First of all, don’t you ever say you’re a burden again.” You pause and watch Jacob open his mount to disagree. “Ah!” You cut Jacob off quickly and sit straight as you point your finger at him. And he huffs out through his nose as makes a grumpy face at you. “Make all the faces you want Jacob, but you’re not going to speak till I finish talking. Okay?” You’re dead serious and Jacob knows this so he nods at you before he lays his head down and looks at you, waiting for you to continue.

“I would never think of you as a burden Jacob Black. Never.” You begin sincerely as you look him in the eyes. “You could’ve-” You pause to collect yourself as your voice shakes. “You could’ve died today Jacob. You almost died because you risked your life to save someone you care about.” You can’t help but frown as you use your hands to express your point and feel your eyes tear up.

“All you have ever done…has be for love. Because that is who you are. You were in this fight out of your love for me and Bella. You-you risked your life to keep us safe. And I’ll never be able to repay you for doing that.” You hear your voice crack as you try not to cry. “You are…so very important to me Jacob. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you in it…. You think your some burden right now?” You laugh bitterly. “You’re only like this because Bella and I are humans that have no way of defending themselves against a threat like Victoria.” You hiss out as bitterness fills your soul. “You bend over backwards to keep us safe. You isolated yourself from me and Bella for weeks because you were so worried that you’d hurt us. And when we saw you again, it was because you were running towards us to protect us.” You level Jacob with a determined look. “You will never be a burden, ever.”

Jacob looks so touched by your words as he blinks away tears that pool on his eyes. He’s fighting a losing battle against his emotions. And Jacob cries softly for the third time this night. “You have no clue how much you mean to me.” You whisper out as you snuffle and wipe away tears. “No one in my life has come close to you.” Your voice sounds like a painful whine at the end of each sentence, as you will yourself to get these words out of your closing throat. “And I don’t think anyone ever will.” You breathe out shakily, before burring your face into your hands.

And for a while there’s no sound in the room as the dawn begins. All that is heard is you and Jacob crying as quietly as either of you can mange. And eventually you’ve collected yourself enough to look Jacob in the face once more. Even when this boy is crying he still looks like an angel to you.

You drag your chair sideways towards the top of Jacob’s bed so you can cradle his head in your arms as you both let the emotions of the last 24hours flow through you. You feel his left hand come up to hold onto your right arm for dear life as he nuzzles his head closer to your body. And you let your left cheek rest upon his head and pillow, closing your eyes and drifting off into much needed sleep.

I hope you cried because I did writing this

—————

Billy Black quietly opens the door to his son’s bedroom, and is floored by the sight of you bent over in a chair, cradling his son’s head as the both of you sleep.

Billy is internally fangirling and hyperventilating with a shit-eating grin on his face, as he rolls at lighting speed to snap a picture and call Charlie to tell him that he owes Billy $50 bucks.

Billy cackles like he’s won the lottery as he takes a photo of you and Jacob. “So much for cop instincts.”Billy laughs to himself, he had bet Charlie that you and Jacob would end up together in a couple of years not to long ago. Billy Black loves being right.

—————

After about three days Jacob is well enough to walk around a bit. And the first thing he decides he wants to do is drag you out to Emily’s place. He had to spend at least 4 hours convincing you that he would take it easy and begging you to let him leave the house. Jacob was basically losing his mind being locked up in his bedroom for so long.

“Hurry up pip squeak!” Jacob shouts as he speed walks towards the door to of the house.

“Hey!” You yell back as you run after him. Jacob hold the door for you and laughs at your reaction. “Don’t call me a pip squeak jackass.” You laugh out and you slip your shoes off and put them neatly to the side. Jacob grins and kicks his off next to the pile of shoes that are thrown all over the place.

“Don’t be so short then.” He teases you and pats you on your back. You snort at that, glaring playfully at Jacob as he walks off to the dining room. You hear the obnoxious voices of all Jared, Embry and Quill as they start yelling and whooping at the sight of him.

“THE BOY WHO LIVVVVED!!!” Embry’s voice rings out and you laugh as you follow their voices.

“Hey don’t be to rough with him boys, he only just got well enough to come see us all.” You smile as Emily scolded the group. “Oh hey there (Y/N)!” Emily smiles at you catches you by suprise as she hugs you. “I’m so happy to see you.” Emily admits and squeezes you slightly, she is definitely on your list of favorite people. She’s just as warm and sweet as her homemade muffins.

“I’m happy to see you too.” You say genuinely as she pulls away. “Heyyyyy, look who it is guys!” Embry announces at the sight of you. “It’s nice to see you when don’t look like your about to piss your pants.” Jared teases you, and immediately Jacob smacks him in the back of his head. “Hey what happened to peace and love man?” Jared says defensively and he looks deeply offended that Jacob smacked him.

“Maybe you should think about what peace and love mean instead of opening your fat mouth.” Jacob hisses at him and they begin to bicker like children. You can help but smile as they fight.

“Glad to see he is actually feeling better instead of trying to show off infront of you.” Emily says happily from beside you as she watched the two boys fondly.“Want to help me cook up some dinner?” Emily asks you suddenly as it becomes apparent that they won’t stop anytime soon. “Absolutely!” You say happily and follow after her.

Jacob watches you as you follow after Emily, he smiles as he notices you are pretty much skipping behind her. “I think someone I lovvvvve.” Jared sings behind Jacob, and his smile instantly drops from his face. “Jared I swear to God-“CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT” Quill breaks into song dramatically, throwing his arms out and singing horrificly off key. Before laughing and running away from Jacob just in time to not be throttled. Jake twisted around to fast and pain shoots through him as he grips his ribs and breaths out harshly. Quill immediately starts to feel bad and rushes toward Jacob. “Shit man I didn’t me to-AHHHHH YOU FUCKER YOU TRICKED ME!!!!!”

——————

Dinner was really great. It was like eating at a table with a huge family that was high off crack and loved to torture one another. You had to be careful when you ate or sipped your drink so you wouldn’t choke from laughing fits.

~Here are some highlights of the night~

“Dude slow the hell and leave some for the rest of us you fat fuck!” Paul hisses at Jared as he fills his plate for the forth time. “Hey man,” Jared begins, “your words really triggered me in my safe space.” Jared makes a sad face and acts like he’s in the verge of tears. “I couldn’t give a fuck less about your safe place! Stop eating all the God damn food!!!” Paul hisses and he looks like he’s about to blow up.

“Paul, your at a 10 right now I need to to be at a 2. I’m trying to enjoy my meal!” Qill pipes up in a high pitch Karen voice, accent and all. Embry groans and makes an exasperated face. “Mom and Dad are fighting at the dinner table againnnn.”

You can’t help but laugh as they all argue and fight over the food. “Do want the last roll?” Seth asks you as he is in mid reach for it. “Oh no help yourself.” You’re pretty full by now and even if you weren’t, you wouldn’t dare steal the roll from Seth Clearwater. It’d be like stealing from the sweetest baby in the world.“Yusssss!” You can’t help but smile at how excited he is to have last dinner roll, poor boy never gets to have one before they’re all eaten. “You’re the best (Y/N)!”

“I’m sorry but you’re just not all that mate.” Jared says in a God awful British accent. “Jared I swear to God I’m going to murder you one day, and hide your body in the woods!” Paul hisses at Jared and the boy just continues to stuff his face. “That sounds like a you problem.” Jared responds though a mouthful of food.

“Quill.” Embry turns to his friend and grabs his hand putting it over his heart. “I want to tell you something.” “Dude what the fuck is wrong with you!” Quill’s face is filled with confusion. “I want to be your one less lonely girl.” Embry says dramatically before grabbing Quill’s face with both hands and starts pulling the boy towards him. “EWWWWW GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME MAN!” Quill screeches out in horror.

“I hope that one day your on patrol and you get a splinter in your paw and you have to spend the rest of the day with it digging into your flesh and all you can can do is suffer.” Jared hisses at Paul. “I’m not giving you my fucking muffin you bitch!” Paul hisses. “I hope you stub your toe on every surface. I hope your pillow is hot as fuck when you got to sleep at night. I hop-“SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!” Qill announces in an old English accent.

“Embry you look like if an umbrella wished to be a real boy.” Jared roast. “Yeah? Well Jared I want you to know that I can always count on you.” Embry begins with sincerity filling his voice, you’d almost believe those words if it were for the mischievous glint in his eyes. “You know, unless of course I’m counting on you for a ride, or to not crash your car, or counting on you to count to a number past 10.”

——————

“Did you enjoy the show.” Jacob asks you as he throws an arm over your shoulders as you walk back to his truck after saying goodbye to everyone. “Oh one hundred percent.” You admit shyly as you smile up at Jacob.

His eyes are warm and filled with glee as they shift across your face, and he’s grinning back at you. “Thanks for dragging me out here.” You say softly, and begin to feel sentimental. “I’m really grateful for this moment with you.” Jacob’s eyes softened and his cheeks turn red at your confession. “I’m really greatful for this moment with you too.” His tone is light but earnest and you grin at him.

Now kiss

Ngl I just wanted to involve the Wolfpack more because they hold a special place in my heart.

————

It’s the last night your spending at Jacob’s house as he is pretty much completely healed, all that’s left is some bruising on his right side.

Your laying in his bed on your back as his head rest on your chest so he can listen to your heart beat. Jacob’s arms are wrapped around you and he’s laying on his left side. And the topic of Bell’s wedding comes up.

“You know what I think Jacob.” You begin softly as you run your fingers through his hair. “I think you need to learn how to let go of her.” You feel him tense up and suck in a breath at your words. Your voice begins to shake as you speak. “You need to let of the people and things that do not serve you. And some of those things you’re going to leave claw marks on as you let them go.” You feel your throat burn as you speak, and tears well up in your eyes. But you continue to run your hands through his hair, softly and slowly. Jacob’s breaths come out shaky and slow. “You love that girl so much but she’s just not good for you anymore Jacob. You have to think how she makes you feel. I’ve seen how much Bella hurts you with the things she does.” You pause your speech to compose yourself as Jacob wraps arms around you tighten, and his face moves to nestle into your neck. You breathe in deep and continue.

“You deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel like you are enough, and that means you have to let yourself let her go.” You voice cracks at the end and you press your lips together for a bit. “And it’s okay to be sad about it, you’re allowed to be sad about it. But you are so bright and warm Jacob.” Your throat closes up at the end. “You deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy so badly. I want to take way your pain and make you happy.” You sniffle as a tear runs down you face. And for a bit Jacob is quiet, till he pulls you impossibly closer and a muffled sob reaches your ears.

You hold Jacob close and rub his back as he cries silently into your neck. You don’t care that his tears are wetting your skin, you just want to hold him close and let him feel loved. “You are the best person I know.” You mange to get the words out through your tightly wound throat. “And I want you to know peace, and love like you used to.” You turn your face to press your lips to the crown of Jacob’s head and you close your eyes tightly as you speak. “You deserve to be chosen first and foremost, above all else. You should be loved as wholly as you love.” And before you can fully process it, Jacob surges up and kisses you. He kisses you so softly and slowly as tears stream down his face and his right hand moves to cup your face. And you’re so shocked you don’t move, but you don’t pull away either.

“I’m sorry.” Jacob whispers out after pulling away, and pressing his forehead to yours. “I know I should’ve asked before, but I couldn’t-” he doesn’t get to finish as you pull him back into a kiss. Jacob moves his body to hover over you and you wrap you arms around his neck to hold him close. Jacob breaths out through his nose as he kisses you back deeply. And his left forearm digs into his bed as it hold up most of his weight, while his right rest upon your left hip bone.

He kisses you with so much emotion pored into it, the kiss leaves you feeling breathless and your lungs burn. But you don’t dare stop, you move your hand and scrape your nails against Jacob’s scalp. And the sound he makes send heat that pools in your stomach and makes your heart flip in your chest. You can help but smile into the kiss as you laugh through your nose. You travel your other hand to the side of Jacob’s waist to pull him closer. Jacob hisses in pain and pulls back.

“Shit!” You exclaim. “I’m so sorry Jake-“it’s okay.” He laughs softly and kisses your cheek. “I’m okay, it only stung a little bit I promise.” Jacob pulls away to look you in the eyes. And all you see is how happy and free Jacob looks right now. There’s that easy smile on his face that you’ve missed so deeply, and his eyes are filled with so much warmth and love it makes you dizzy. Jacob rubs his nose against yous softly, and laughs as he feels your nose scrunch up. He pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes again.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks is so softly and shyly is makes you feel like a lovesick schoolgirl. Jacob’s eyes are pleading with you to let him kiss you again, and you feel like you could get up from the bed and run all the was to Canada and back and still have enough energy to jump Jacob’s bones.

“Hmm,” you say and pretend to think about it tilting your head to the side as a grin forms on you face, and your eyes crinkle. “Please.” Jacob practically whined quietly and your heart jumps into your throat at the sound of it. There is no way and hell that you could say no to Jacob Black asking to please let him kiss you. “Always.” You breathe out and Jacob grins at the word. “I’ll remember that.” He whispers as he leans down and nudges his nose against yours once more before turning to press his lips against yours.

—————

You didn’t know it, but Jacob had been fighting the inevitability of falling utterly, completely and irrevocably in love with you. But Jacob failed long ago, and had been falling hard for month before the imprint. But now, to feel what you feel for him, it gives Jacob the courage to try again.

After years of devotion towards Bella, he had blinded himself to what he loved most. In truth, Jacob was horrified of losing you. He didn’t want to lose a friend just because he grown love you more then anything.

But almost dying really puts your life into perspective. His deepest fear was that he’d never get to show how much he loved you. But after days of you being there for him, of taking care of him, helping him and his father with everyday life. Jacob didn’t feel the need to be sacred anymore, and he realized, he never needed to feel that fear in the first place.

Jacob was burning hot and bright with love for you and now, HES GOING TO SWEEP YOU OFF YOUR MOTHER FUCKING FEET WITH THE SHEER INTENSITY OF HIS BRIDGETON LEVEL YEARNNNNNINGGGGGG.

BRING BACK MAN WHO YEARNNNNNNN!!!!!

WUHAHAHAHHAHAHA*COUGHING AND CHOKING*

_____________

Hehehehe

I hope y’all enjoyed, I busted my ass.

Sorry if I miss spelling anything I can’t spell to save my life on a good day.

Thanks you for reading this far, I hope it lived up to your expectations. Also feel free to comment if you want something specific for the next part!

Love ya🫶

Part 6 it’s long as fuck that’s what she said

#jacob black x gender neutral reader #jacob black x y/n #jacob black x male reader #jacob black x female reader #jacob black x you #jacob black x oc #jacob black fanfic #jacob twilight #jacob black #jacob black x reader #team jacob #twilight x reader #twilight wolves #twilight wolfpack #jacob black twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight jacob

146 notes · View notes

astrologylunadream · 1 year ago

Text

Do They Have Romantic Feelings for You? 🫧🌸💋 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream!💕 Here is a lovely reading on the person on your mind and if they have romantic feelings towards you!🥰 hope you find your message🎀 It's been a while since I've posted a reading! I've been taking care of my personal life, and working on readings as I can. Thank you all for your patience and love~💗

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~💌🫧

Pile 1🩷

Pile 2🍒

Pile 3🌸

Pile 4🍓

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💕

Pile 1🩷

Sign energy: Flame, Love at first sight, Late, First love, Teeth, 9th house, Earth, Sun, 12th house, Aquarius,💬🦀🤙💡

🫧Your person's energy: Okay so first this person could be in a no contact situation for some of you, no surprise this is someone that most of you have romantic feelings towards!🥰💗 They are very bright and it's like they can light up the entire world around them. Can we talk about this person's smile?🤭 It's just so attractive and beautiful. Twin flame/soulmate energy up in here!!!❤️‍🔥 There is a lot of curiousity about your person, you are fascinated in them and this could be because they are different than you in some way.👀 Your person could be from a different background/culture or have some unique strange quality that makes them stand out to you✨️ This is already so cute omg pile 1 you're so curious about this person~ So there is Sagittarius, Leo, Pisces and Aquarius energy for your person. Earth energy oh also there is some Cancer symbolism with the crab emoji so that may resonate for some of you.😘 For some of my pile 1's they could be born in a late phase of their sun sign, so like instead of being a leo in july they could be a late leo in august kind of thing so just apply that to their sun sign!☀️ Yeah so for A LOT of my pile 1's this is a twin flame or soulmate connection, it feels so fated omg😩🩷 This could be your first love for some of you, or a love at first sight kind of happened with this person. I just feel there is a lot of love for your person, it's really sweet you guys💗 Now some of your person's traits, they have special qualities about them. They're intelligent and have great ideas💭 They are also creative and communicate in a strange yet captivating way. It may be hard to understand them sometimes. Specific message for some in this pile you may have met them online, studying abroad or during travel and fell so hard😂😭 This person is so unique to you aha you see them as something special⭐️

💗Do they have romantic feelings for you: Roots, Winter, Chiron, Build, Head, Fire, Aries, 11th house, Leo, Neptune,🖤🤞🚷😮‍💨 Wow okay there is a surprisingly intense energy I'm getting. This is more of a deep physical attraction they have for you, also a lot of erotic desire. You could be in this persons mind, I mean deep in it😳 I feel like they may have a damaged ego or some sort of self doubt about their feelings for you guys, maybe they want to make wrong assumptions about you in their head for whatever reason? At the bottom of this is a lot of heavy passion for you, but I think they're trying to convince themselves otherwise.😕 Yeah they might be trying to turn themselves against you in their mind, or not letting themselves desire you because it brings out a more dark aggressive side to them.💢❤️‍🔥 Yeah you definitely set them on fire, their mind gets heated with you😭 I'm surprised by the physical tension on this one, I feel like your person is having a huge inner conflict about you. They may want you gone only because they can't handle themselves fantasizing about taking you over every night😭🔞 I won't go into detail but this person is fighting their demons about you LOL pile 1 your person is hooked🪝 Winter may be a significant time for their feelings. Yeah I think this person is loosing it about you, but they're just like telling themselves not to give in to their intense passion you bring out of them.🤯❤️‍🔥 Like they know you unleash a monster out of them and they're just like "god no please no" lol I'm hearing The Office.😂 They are unconsciously fantastizing a lot, some hot scenarios with you. They wanna believe you're bad for them, because you have such a magnetic pull on them my pile 1's!🤭 You are stuck in this person's mind, they're burning with passion yet trying to deny it. They get so fired up about you that it burns them out easily. They may feel you drain their energy, because you're so captivating to them. But they are like a moth to your flame I'm hearing🔥 Dangerous attraction vibes~✨️ Pile 1 you are deeply desired they can't even fight themselves!!😍

💌Messages from your person: This is consuming, Nothing is stopping you, I see us together, Don't tell me, You've been busy, You're the one that I want, Tell me, You're my addiction (Yess so much intense attraction for my pile 1's😭❤️‍🔥) Extra cards: Achievement, Together, Seen, Want, Art, 8th house, Gemini, Leo, Aries, Uranus (They want you, they want you guys to be seen together and not hide your connection you are like a work of art to them😭 hot energy)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the pink heart emoji~🩷 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🤗💋💞

Pile 2🍒

Sign energy: Past life, Nice, Question, Unhealthy, Anonymous, Libra, Eros, Aquarius, Juno, North node,🩱🐦‍🔥😁🕵️‍♀️

🫧Your person's energy: Wow okay so this is someone physically appealing to you guys, some of you find them really hot I'm getting😂 This person has a nice figure, there is a feminine touch to their appearance especially something about their lower body. They have a nice smile, actually it's really hot😳❤️‍🔥 Signs coming through are Libra and Aquarius so mostly air energy, I am getting a venus vibe from your person also venus-uranus aspects are possible.🩷 Oh okay so some of you may be viewing this person's social media often, many of my pile 2's are spending way too much time on the internet📱💔 Please take breaks from too much time online my lovely pile 2's you will feel much better I promise!✨️ Some of you could be frequenting your person's profile or photos online to an extent that may not be healthy, this could be you or them take what resonates. This may be someone you're interacting with inderectly or behind a screen, it's also possible that you aren't revealing your idenity to this person.👤🔍 Now that could be the other way around for some of you in this pile, they could be the one stalking you from online or looking at your photos it may even be both if that resonates!🫢 This person speaks very well and charms others easily with their uniqueness. They make you very curious and you want to know more about them, some of you may view this person as marriage material💍💕 You may want to commit to them in the future, oh and it is very likely that this is someone you knew from a past life! Your person is intelligent and charming, and that alone ignites sudden passion from within you🔥❤️‍🔥 It may feel like the tempature rises when you see them.🌡 Like all they would have to do is sit still and look pretty and just that makes you want to grab them and kiss them!!!😩💋 They can really turn you on tbh😳 And you wonder if they feel that way about you! Their figure is really special and attractive to you 🍑😉😉😉 They probably dress really well, they're so appealing and attractive!💗

💗Do they have romantic feelings: Eternity, Uniqueness, Guardian, Song, High, Uranus, 4th house, Chiron, North node, Taurus,��🎤⚓️🕹 So they see you as someone special!🥰 This is really looking like yes honestly, I mean you are just so unique and unlike any other to this person.😩💖 You make them feel safe and healed, they feel a very comforting type of love from my pile 2's. They may love to listen to songs you like or share similar interests in music!🎶 There may be a song that will feel special to only you two in the future, could be a song that plays at your wedding😂🙈💓 Whatever the case there will be a song that is special to you and them, maybe they will listen to your favorite song and it will become their favorite.🥺 Aw another thing, your voice is really attractive to them. You are like a guardian to your person, they feel safe and protected by you. You are like the anchor that keeps your person from drifting far into the ocean, I also think they love your playful side🩷 I'm hearing "You're the bomb!" Lol maybe they find you very entertaining and fun.🥰 There is a lot of venus energy in this reading so there is many romantic feelings from your person. You feel like home to them, and it would be hard for this person to ever let you go.😭💔 You give them comfort and a sense of belonging, they see you as a knight in shining armor (regardless of gender) and feel saved by you. It's really sweet you guys this person has such pure love for you. They feel like you guys have a future together, and by future they mean possibly eternity.💗🥺 Haha they really care about you a lot and are so fascinated by you. Just know this person thinks you are so special and unique!⭐️ You are such an individual to your person, they admire the way you stand out and love this about you😭 I'm hearing "let you steer the boat" maybe they feel safe and would entrust you to take control of any situation involving you both. I'm also hearing "high hopes" so they feel very hopeful and confident in your abilities that is so sweet omg they think highly of you😢💕

💌Messages from your person: I have dark thoughts about you, What is love? Forget it, You're my angel, I would reject anyone for you, Is it too late now? Only god knows, I would write you a love song. (So cute🥰 Pile 2 you are their angel!) Extra cards: Conflict, Spring, Cafe, Myth, Words, Fire, Aquarius, Moon, 6th house, 3rd house (There may be a blockage in communication or being able to contact this person for some of you, or it was a hurtful conversation between you for some of my pile 2's but whatever the case your person wishes to communicate with you and be able to understand and connect with you better💗🫂)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the cherry emoji~🍒 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🤗💋💞

Pile 3🌸

Sign energy: Flower, Do or die, More, Note, Mine, Juno, Earth, Leo, South node, 5th house,🕳🙅‍♂️🤙🦀

🫧Your person's energy: Haha so the first thing I noticed is that Flower came out and this pile has flowers on it's imagery I think that's very interesting.☺️ There is Leo energy as well as earth energy for this pile's person! Picking up on 5th house placements from your person, also there is cancer symbolism aswell. Another thing is they could have earth over their 6th house for some of my pile 3's. they have a glowing presence about them🌟🤭 Their gaze just came to mind, maybe their eyes draw you in like a black hole lol🕳🖤 They are very attractive and noticable, people from their past keep coming back for more I'm hearing. To you guys, I'm getting you think of them as YOUR person like only yours.😳 Like they belong to you, because you wanna claim this person.💍😱 I am getting a vibe this is a look don't touch kind of person, like they know people staring at them and they're just like no touching.😎🖐🚫 They don't like people to get too close to them for some of you, but this is because they are actually very delicate🥺💞 That could be from something they've been through or going through. This could be someone you lost contact with for some of you and the connection may have ended but you persist!✊️ Your person is specifically very talented in their hobbies, and are usually open to the type of feedback that helps them grow😇 Okay for a few of you this person doesn't wanna talk to you take whatever resonates for my pile 3's! You may have tried to call them or contact them in some way, you could be someone from their past aswell. This person is very caring and protective over the people they love, also they're very cool😉✨️ Lol they have a nice vibe. This could be someone you had crush on for a while but you thought you were over it or things just blossomed very quickly between you two. Your person is creative and really good at whatever they do😂💗 They take care of their appearance, oh you know what I just realized the liking system on tumblr is notes so you could be noting certain posts revolving this person a lot whether it be actual posts of them or just many readings about them omg pile 3 that's so cute🥰!!!

💗Do they have romantic feelings: Dragon, Butterfly, June, My everything, Despair, Saturn, Fire, Libra, Virgo, Vertex,🍀🛗😌👊 Wow interesting so there is or was a big change in this persons feelings, like a transformation.🤯 June came out and the time I'm doing this reading it's going to be june soon so that is a significant sign of their feelings in the month of june!!!🙊💞 Maybe this person's feelings have changed or developed in some way that they're trying to resist or repress. They could be making a decision about you in june or the next month. Wow okay this is a huge message but A FEW of my pile 3's may end up in a relationship with this person in june, if not then romance will be in the air for the two of you!😩🙏 Your person thinks of you a lot and you are the world to them.🌏💗😭 Wait wait it's the year the dragon which is a sign of this year, guys something is going to happen this june for this person. They could be going through a change or transformation in their inner feelings and thinking🤯 This is a very lucky year and the energy proves it.🤭💞 Your person could be restricting their feelings towards you in some way, perhaps they're an overthinker when it comes to you💬🫣 They could have a lot of ups and downs about you, sometimes they feel hopeful and fateful and other times they feel hopeless and unmotivated.😞💔 But seriously guys, destiny is written all over this persons feelings for you!! Soon could be a time they rise up past their own doubts and insecurities about you, and there is definitely a sense of interest towards you.🩷 They need to fight their worries with confidence! This person can find you very cute, and you sit in the back of their mind a lot☺️🧠 If this person didn't feel anything towards you in the past it's becoming a shift in feelings for them. They could be making a descision about you, that could be opening up to you or accepting new feelings for you. Some of you this person may confess, or reveal their feelings and intentions.💭💕 Pile 3 this is so amazing there is so much hope from this person soon, I feel they will finally be able to rest their mind about you eventually and face whatever is effecting their connection with you.😇 They find you sweet and beautiful, also you could give them butterflies🤭💖

💌Messages from your person: For now, I wish I could stop thinking of you, I'm still the same person you loved, You don't need to take care of me, I think you're a great person, I would kill for you, You're so funny, Don't be sad (AH omg and them overthinking about you is right😫💓) Extra cards: Dominant, Surprise, Kabedon, Grey, Neptune, Scorpio, Uranus, Leo, Pisces, Virgo (Yeah they wanna take over your dreams and you're all up in their fantasies, especially dark ones😭😈)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the pink blossom emoji~🌸 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🤗💋💞

Pile 4🍓

Sign energy: Play, Lavender, Conflict, Liar, Found, Mars, 7th house, Earth, 11th house, 8th house,🚨🐙🚺🍄

🫧Your person's energy: Ohh okay this is someone that feels like you have a romantic drama with, I mean like you don't know if you should stay or go.👀🙊 Some of you are in contact with this person, others maybe not. Possible signs are Aries, Scorpio, Libra, and Aquarius, there is a masculine energy here. Your person is very captivating and attractive, but they have a darker side you may not have been aware of at first.👿😳 For a select few of my pile 4's I'm seeing this is someone who played you, or sabotaged your relationship somehow.💔 You might think they're a liar or they lied to you, maybe they got exposed for something too. Your person is intense and romantic but they may be in a bit of a red flag energy for some (be careful😬) Lavender may be significant, whether it's the color or scent. This person is slightly mischievous and may be susceptible to getting in trouble. You could be obsessed or in love with this person ever since you saw them, but there is a lot of tension around this person.😟🔥 I was picking up on a very masculine energy but your person has a feminine side also, which is a more grounded and attentive side of them. They can surprisingly be very detail-oriented and sweet when they aren't in a harsher energy.🥺💞 Some of my pile 4's had or having conflict with this person, could be through online or fights around friends. This person could have caused you to turn to escapism which could be spiritual practices that you escape through too like this reading.🕯 I think your person is all over the place a little, to be honest with the octopus emoji and female sign I'm going to say ONLY for some in this pile this person may be involved with multiple feminines at the same time and it's catching up with them.✋️⚠️ It is possible that certain people are just obsessed with your person and want to throw themselves onto them, but with Liar, Play, Found, Conflict, Mars, 7th house AND 8th house... I'm sorry it just sounds like a huge message😭 I JUST REALIZED the mushroom can symbolize illusions or deception😳 I'm sorry but some of my lovely pile 4's might be the ones deceived or disillusioned about this person. It feels like a really bad boy/girl energy, magnetic but very dangerous. But they're hot as hell🥵

💗Do they have romantic feelings: Rebellion, Broken, Role, Lose, My love, 11th house, Moon, Lilith, 9th house, Eros,🪤💣🖤😚 WTF😫 They feel guilty for something OML. So this person has a lot of intense emotions about you, their heart is broken or they feel like they broke yours.💔 They feel like they played the bad guy, the villain, and they lost you or are losing you because of this. They are in a really dark place about you, they feel exposed for their true nature.🔦 Like you're seeing a bad side of them. I can't believe Lose and My Love came out right next to eachother wtf... It feels like they might lose the love of their life, which is pile 4. This is so crazy. They feel trapped, perhaps behind a screen or they can't reach you.📵 If this is an ex, this person wants you back BAD. They feel like they messed up their image and destroyed the one thing they were supposed to love and care for. What is this😥😭😖 Maybe they feel like they have no part in your life or they played a bad part in it, and that really hurts them deeply. They may be running away from contact with you, or ghosted you on social media. They might not be talking to their friends either because of their feelings. This person is in love with you but they feel terrible, like everything is ruined.🌪🔥 They also feel like they lost their freedom? This person is a hell of emotions over you, I'm hearing "lost all hope". They feel desperate, they almost wish they could trap you and keep you because they're afraid you're going to wanna get away from them. They wish they could make you theirs, I'm not going to go into detail about it but they're freaking out because they're madly attracted to you on an intimate level and they wish they could tie you up and dominate you, keeping you theirs.😰🔞 They might fantasize about doing those things because they feel like they can't have you. Part of them doesn't want to look bad to you, but at the same time they feel like there's no going back and you've already discovered the worst parts of them.👿 You do turn this person on, and they want to kiss you and make everything right.☹️💋🖤 Whatever it was that put a wedge between you two, they want to heal your emotional wounds and play the saint rather than sinner. I'm hearing some of you may have dropped them or are going to, and they have intense romantic feelings towards you and want to keep holding on to you because they're so scared of losing you.😳🤝

💌Messages from your person: Look at me, I wish we could have met, I can't comprehend, You can't comprehend, You always look so sad, Don't let them bring you down, What do you think of me? Why would you want me? (Pile 4 they don't feel like you want them at all😫 They still care about you a lot.🫂 Your person is very confused about the connection right now, but they just hope you're alright🖤) Extra cards: Devotion, Inactivity, Boy, Self-sabotage, Family, Lilith, Jupiter, Eros, Aquarius, 12th house, (They feel like they weren't or aren't being devoted to you enough and it's destroying them😭 There is a lot of passion and intense emotions from them about my pile 4's)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the strawberry emoji~🍓 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🤗💋💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

690 notes · View notes

bethelctpride · 1 year ago

Text

How to find the local queer people when there don't appear to be any queer events nearby

are you sure there are no events?

Because they're a lot more common than you think, but you have to look in the right place! The social media algorithm sadly will not feed them to you. You will generally have to go through at least one layer of introduction before you meet folks directly.

Yes, this is a bit of a secret social club. Because many of these people lived through being too public might get you raided by cops or get you dead. They're rightfully cautious. They want to make sure people showing up aren't there to do harm. And the more rural the area, the tougher it will be to find people, but they're definitely THERE and likely having the same thoughts that nobody else is there.

Queer social activities are overwhelmingly run by middle aged folks (who have time, money, skills, and energy to do so) and they tend to use different social media because that's where they originally built communities!

The advice here for hunting down groups assumes you are an adult who can figure out logistics and safety of contacting other adults and getting yourself somewhere safely.

For social media, check Facebook and Meetup. These are most likely to have large local-ish groups putting on events. Join some groups. Many may be private and require approval before you see content. Even if there's not one immediately nearby, join the closest one, whatever "close" is. Even if it's not a perfect fit, they generally know the other even smaller groups nearby and may give you an invite to closer group or even direct contact info for The Local Guy where you text him.

Next up, Instagram. You'll pick up some folks a little younger and more business and pop up events this way. Sometimes you may not see an event until after it happened! Message the person and ask when next one is. Good odds there's a repeat.

Still no luck? Check out specific types of businesses/orgs in your area that tend to have an overlap. Maybe the local bar or coffee shop has a gay night once a month. Check their posts for last month, or if you can filter by date, look specifically in June. If they had one, message and ask about if they have an upcoming one. Even if they don't, they may put you in contact with organizer from past one.

For organizations, check for groups serving HIV+ populations and the neurospicy. Even if you fall into neither category, because of the overlap, there's good odds they offer specific services FOR queer folk. Contact them and they'll know who in the area is putting on events.

Check furry groups. Generally they do most organization via Telegram, which will require an invite. Find the nearest furry convention, check to see if they have a message board. Search for telegram. there's likely one attached to the convention and asking there of "hey, is there a furry telegram group that covers X area?" there will be one. I hope you like bowling, because this is by far the most common non-convention furry event.

(and if your reaction is EW Furries, you need to kill the little Puritan living in your head that hates people having fun doing stuff in a way you think is Cringe. Bowling is not that uncool.)

Still no luck? Now you're going to have to go search for individual queers in the wild! Your best luck is going to be with three other types of groups: 1. SOME Church activities 2. activities that attract the neurospicy (train groups, collecting groups, etc)

3. Tiny specialty groups where everyone is old and its in danger of dying out

If you're really rural sometimes the ONLY group doing any activities is the local church. If they're listed as "open and affirming" that's what you want. Unitarians and Congregationalists are most likely to fit that definition. But you should be able to run web search for that exact phase of "open and affirming church" + "your town" and it'll show you SOMETHING nearby. You may still come up with nothing, but the ones that are doing that tend to be really dedicated, so they will have info about what local groups are friendly to queers, if not open about that. They will also have non-religious activities like knitting or potluck even if you don't want to go to a service.

Neurospicy activities- check your surrounding libraries for activities as well. Even if you're not that brand of spicy, the overlap is high. Find an activity you are reasonably interested in and go meet locals. You'll find out which ones are queer after a few meetings. Often it will turn out everyone is and nobody said anything until one person does. (like our local hackerspace. secret trans hangout)

Endangered skills- do you really want to learn some weird, specialty skill that's dying out? Ask around. call the senior center and have them post a note. Post at the library. stick a thing on a bulletin board at the grocery store. Pick something you are GENUINELY interested in learning like flint knapping, or how to cook a regional dish, local history, how to spin llama wool. Weirder and more endangered the better. Post several! Give them a way to contact you by phone. Unless they are horrendously bigoted up front, you are about to learn a skill and once you disclose "hey I'm gay", you are about to be introduced to every solitary queer in the area that is a friend of a friends' granddaughter's classmate. Often your mentor won't quite GET it, but you're their favorite person now so they're trying. And as you get introduced, suddenly the local flint knapping group is also the queer flint knapping group! and you should post on social media about your cool new activity and SURPRISE, you found them all! Also they now all have cool knives. win-win!

#building community #community building #lgbtq community #rural queers #queer community

594 notes · View notes

ilovecatfr · 6 months ago

Text

Getting Comfortable in the State of Preparation

Why Shifters Often Get Stuck Here

Have you ever caught yourself spending hours making scripts, mood boards, and playlists for your Desired Reality (DR) but rarely (or never) actually attempting to shift? You’re not alone—this is super common in the shifting community or so I noticed after one of my posts. Many shifters fall into a pattern of preparation, where the process of getting ready feels more comfortable than the act of shifting itself.

Why Shifters Get Stuck in Preparation

1. Preparation Feels Safe

Making scripts and mood boards gives you a sense of control and progress. It’s exciting and comforting because it connects you to your DR without the frustration or fear of a failed attempt.

2. Perfectionism

Feeling like you need the perfect script, playlist, or method before you shift. This turns into an endless cycle of preparation because you never feel “ready enough.”

3. Dopamine Rush

Planning triggers a dopamine release—the thrill of imagining your DR can be addictive! It gives you a taste of your DR without actually shifting, so it’s easy to keep doing it.

4. Community Validation

Sharing your playlists, scripts, or mood boards in the shifting community can feel nice. It’s a way to bond with others, but it can also make the focus shift (pun intended!) from actual shifting to just the idea of shifting.

5. Procrastination as a Defense Mechanics

Procrastination is often rooted in fear. For some shifters, it’s easier to stay in the “preparation” phase.

6. Overwhelm

With so much information out there about shifting methods and scripting, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Instead of figuring out where to start, many shifters default to preparing because it feels more manageable.

How to Break Out of the Preparation Loop

If you find yourself stuck in this cycle, here are some tips that may help you refocus on actual shifting:

1. Shift the Focus to Actual Attempts

Remember that prep work is meant to support your shifting journey, not replace it. Set clear intentions for when you'll shift and stick to them.

2. Limit Prep Time

Give yourself a specific time frame for scripting or making mood boards (e.g., one day to make your script/ 1 hour a day for week). Then spend the rest of your time focusing on shifting.

(make sure to not be overwhelmed if you set a specific time that you are not comfortable with)

3. Visualize Instead of Overplanning

Focus on feeling like you’re in your DR. You don’t need every detail scripted; your subconscious can fill in the blanks.

(for people who feel like they can't trust their subconscious: your subconscious is YOU, it knows what you want. Your subconscious is never going against you; it always working with your desires you only need to allow to give it to you)

4. Try a “Prep Detox”

Take a break from all the prep work and focus solely on shifting for a few days. You might find it easier to connect with your DR this way. You'll see how easier shifting will become when you focus your energy on actually doing it rather then on finishing your script or making a new Pinterest board (no shade)

5. Reframe the Habit

See scripting and playlists as stepping stones, not the destination. Keep reminding yourself: the real reward is your DR, not the finished script.

6. Consistency Over Perfection

You don’t need to feel perfectly prepared to shift. Trust that you yourself is enough.

Getting stuck in the preparation stage doesn’t mean you’re not capable of shifting. It’s just a habit, and like any habit, it can be shifted (pun intended again)! Remember, your DR is waiting for you—it’s time to shift! :)

#reality shifting #shifters #permashifting #shifting community #scripting #shifting advice #shifting motivation #shifting reality #shiftblr #shifting blog #shifting consciousness #shifting antis dni #shifting diary #shifting to hogwarts #shifting stories #subconscious #pure consciousness #shifting

233 notes · View notes

the-clock-of-the-time-dragon · 7 months ago

Text

[Wicked: For Good speculation/predictions]

[obviously spoilers + wild conjecture + musings]

Okay so I have many thoughts about what we might get in the second film, and decided to put them all in one place; so here we are.

1.) I've heard a lot of people mentioning that the movie might choose not to jump straight into Thank Goodness, and instead opt for some sort of buffer opening to establish the time-skip and whatnot. I think it would be amazing to actually see Elphaba flying around Oz saving Animals and being harbored as a fugitive and stuff; maybe we could even get reintroduced to Brrr briefly! He's obviously able to speak, so maybe that implies Fiyero took him to an Animal resistance group or something for safety? The map of Oz shown in Something Bad does imply that there might be such groups around, plus of course Doctor Dillamond mentioning protests. Maybe we'll get to see some of that on-screen; I think that would be fascinating. Maybe as kind of a soft adaptation of Elphaba's domestic terrorist phase in the book. This is possibly all supported as well by the shots we've seen of the Yellow Brick Road under construction; presumably this will be early in the film, since obviously it must predate Dorothy's arrival, so I suspect these might be the opening scenes before we get to see how Oz is reacting to Elphaba's activities at the start of Thank Goodness.

2.) I suspect we'll find out that Madame Morrible is not only the one who brought Dorothy to Oz, but also the Wizard — and maybe even more interestingly, caused the Great Drought (which I think is quite heavily implied to be the Dust Bowl, based on the time period and a scrawling on one of the chalkboards in the background; which I think is meant to be Dillamond's research). (My current headcanon is that Morrible accidentally caused the formation of the Impassable Desert (since it is also mentioned on the same chalkboard), which caused a ripple effect out into Kansas and started the Dust Bowl.) If we do get more background on Morrible and her earlier magic experimentation (and maybe even the Grimmerie), I suspect we'll learn that her heart's desire was always to be the prophesied magical savior of Oz, and the Grimmerie based on those vibes (since it seems to read the hearts of the ones using it and flip to pages that will give them what they want, like how it heard "birds" and went straight to relevant pages) brought the Wizard (and by extension, Elphaba) and Dorothy into Oz. In a way it feels like the Grimmerie is sort of the dark magical inverse of what the Wizard does: they hear the desires of people's hearts, and "grant" it in a deceptive way. The Wizard "grants" wishes through bullshitery and spectacle (and the people who come to him for help always end up having to get what they wanted themselves), while the Grimmerie "grants" wishes using real magic (and so can actually give things that the wisher didn't already possess) but always in a fucked up way that they'll end up regretting. I've already made a post about the theme of "the heart's desire" and how it's explored in the original Wizard of Oz and in Wicked — and maybe at some point I'll do a longer analysis of that (for instance, the fact the Wizard was in possession of the book and got his heart's desire to be a father in the most catastrophic way imaginable) — but it's really interesting if we consider that Morrible's desire seems to be to essentially be the Witch of Oz, and the answer given by the Grimmerie might basically have been the giant magical backfire that brought all three of the most plot-important characters into Oz in the first place. It's possible this won't actually be explained and will remain in headcanon territory, but with the way they've been focusing more on Madame Morrible I think we'll probably get at least a little something exploring her background and connections with the Wizard (and it would be really interesting if we got more stuff relating to the Grimmerie in the process).

3.) In the frames we've seen of Dorothy, the slippers are still silver! Not ruby! We know from interviews that the production team read the original Wonderful Wizard of Oz and took heavy inspiration from it, so I assume keeping the shoes silver was an executive decision on their part. But it has some really interesting implications about what sort of changes might've been made to Part 2. We already knew that we're getting major alterations to Nessa's narrative — groundwork for that was already laid in the ways they changed her in the first movie, particularly surrounding her relationship to Elphaba and her agency regarding movement, which I think is great — but regarding this I've heard some people asking if this means we might not get Nessarose standing. Marissa Bode who plays her is capable of limited standing and walking, so I doubt that part will have been cut entirely; but I'm really curious about the ways in which Nessa's story might have been rewritten. The point of her independence has been emphasized a lot thus far, so I think we might get some tweaking (or outright cutting) of the "hideous chair with wheels" bit; and with how we got the lines about Nessa wanting to make a new start and Elphaba getting in the way of that, I think it's likely we'll get less of a focus on "why haven't you used your powers to help me walk Elphaba?" and more on "wow, you ruined my life again Elphaba". I am curious about whether Nessa will still be able to read the Grimmerie (which always felt a little like a plot hole/contrivance in the original show, so it would need a proper explanation at the very least), or if perhaps — since I believe it's being set up that the Grimmerie can "read" people around it and give them a fucked up version of what they think they want — Nessarose's dark desire at that moment is to not have a heart (kinda like that line from the 1939 movie: "As for you, my galvanized friend: you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable") and gets Elphaba to read it: but neither knows what it will actually do until Boq's heart starts shrinking away into nothingness. (Also I'm fairly positive that the still we got of Elphaba below is from the Colwen Grounds scene with Nessa and Boq: I've heard some people presuming it's from No Good Deed, but the background, her expression (which seems to me to be obviously her trying to get Nessa/Boq to calm tf down), and the fact she seems to be in the same costume as in the Yellow Brick Road scene, tells me it's almost certainly from Wicked Witch of the East.)

4.) We're told to expect two new songs from Stephen Schwartz! I'm extremely curious what these might be (and naturally, Gelphie simp as I am, would like at least one one of them to have some more good ol' gay goodness from our girls), but we don't have a whole lot to go on for clues yet other than (as far as I can tell, unconfirmed?) reports that one is an Elphaba solo and the other is a Glinda solo. This is very exciting of course, but until we have more insight it's still too early to make deep predictions. Although as for hopes, I'd obviously like for a new Glinda number to involve her grappling with her feelings more — a much-needed addition — and for Elphaba to perhaps get some of that as well (it would help the lead-up to Wonderful make a bit more narrative sense, if nothing else). And if it turns out they aren't Glinda or Elphaba songs, then I think Fiyero or Boq deserve to get a little bit more to sing. All Schwartz has said thus far is that the new music was made to meet the needs of the story: so (since the two songs DON'T seem to just be reworkings of existing ones, and are actually all-new, film-only material) that further supports the fact we'll be getting fairly major changes to the plot.

5.) The Glinda-Fiyero wedding seems to either happen or very nearly happen??? Extremely interesting expansion on the original material, I can't wait to see what they do with it. I've heard some people saying it might just be a fantasy sequence or something — and I suppose it could be — but I don't think so; the style of filmmaking and writing is deliberately "grounded" to make Oz feel real, and the first film didn't have any imaginary scenes. I think the wedding scene will happen at the same time as (or directly before) Wonderful, and will probably be interrupted: maybe by the release of the flying monkeys, the Wizard rallying the guards after Elphaba, or — scandal! — even by Elphaba herself! (No, I don't think we'll be getting the "I object!" sequence out of Shrek, even though it would be hilariously apropos, lol.) We've seen an image of what looks like Elphaba back in the Emerald City (maybe right before Wonderful, perhaps sneaking into the Wizard's palace to free the Animals; or perhaps just after Wonderful, after finding Doctor Dillamond and deciding to remain the Wizard's enemy?), and judging by when these events would have to line up based on the story of the musical, I think these are almost certainly within the same section. It seems like the wedding sequence might be a decent spot for some of the new music: or maybe a beefed-up version of Glinda's I'm Not That Girl, if she got left at the altar or something.

6.) We've seen this image of Glinda running up a staircase (with the Grimmerie in hand, and in her Bubble Dress): this seems very likely to be immediately after For Good and the Melting — I suspect Glinda is heading up the stairs to see the aftermath, recover Elphie's hat, and receive the green bottle from Chistery. OR, it could also be related to the Wizard — the wood reminds me of the tower in the Emerald City palace where all of Oscar Diggs' old stuff from Omaha was stored at the end of the first film, so I'm wondering if this is Glinda going up to confront him after realizing that he's Elphaba's father, maybe.

EDIT: I realized after reviewing a better quality image with higher contrast and saturation that the latter possibility I suggested is more likely than the former — behind the wooden beams are the emerald blocks we see in the Wizard's palace, so this frame seems almost certainly to be from the scene where Glinda confronts the Wizard in his tower after returning from Kiamo Ko. And what a brilliant way to do that scene, if indeed that's what this is: the Wizard isn't just sitting despondent in his throne room, he went up to wallow in his old mediocrity — and Glinda doesn't just fly up to him, she ascends the same path she once went up with Elphie, processing her grief the whole way up. The painnnnnnn. It makes her ordering him to fly away in the same balloon that he arrived in — and that Glinda and Elphaba NEARLY escaped in before everything — all the more bitter and ironic. Can't wait to see Jeff Goldblum sell the Wizard's descent into the mother of all midlife crises, fiddling with his old sideshow props in the attic as he comes to know the true despair wrought by his hand.

7.) Will the ending be changed?? It seems all but confirmed that the cloaked figure riding away out of Kiamo Ko at the start of Part 1 was Elphaba: this costume concept for the second film looks identical to what we saw the rider wearing. Add to that (as I've talked about in a prior post) the fact the Scarecrow is shown alongside Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road, implies that at the very least the events of the last few minutes of the musical have been revised. My earlier post listed four different possible alterations (from Elphaba leaving Oz alone, to her still meeting with Fiyero somewhere else after everything, to her somehow letting Glinda and/or Fiyero know she's alive before leaving, or (hope against hope) that she takes Glinda with her), but it's still far too early to tell what they might've gone with. I just hope that at least wrote it better than it was originally. The image of Elphaba riding out of Oz on horseback across the desert would certainly be striking, no matter which option they chose.

#gelphie #wicked #elphaba thropp #glinda upland #glinda x elphaba #elphaba #wicked movie #elphaba x glinda #glinda #wicked part 2 #wicked for good

312 notes · View notes

infinitydivine · 6 months ago

Text

Points that might help you to read Tarot as a Beginner (written from the personal experiences)

Tip from personal experience- Before reading the meanings behind the cards, tap into your intuition and listen to what it tells you. You can always interpret your cards even if they don't match the traditional meanings. Make a bond with your decks, it will help you to have a more smooth Tarot journey. Always thank the cards and the Guides/Spirit Team/The Universe after you are done reading. Try to cover your head while doing the readings to prevent any additional info from downloading into your Crown Chakra.

1. Focus- I cannot stress enough about the focus part while reading Tarot cards. When you are focused, you are more likely to be able to interpret the symbols on the cards accurately and intuitively easily without stressing yourself. This is because your mind is not distracted by other thoughts or worries, allowing you to connect with the deeper meaning of the cards. Plus it'll give you more clarity to listen to your intuition while you are preparing for a reading or asking cards any questions.

2. Know the meaning or Basic traditional meanings of the Tarot Cards- For this, I would suggest you start with the traditional Rider-Waite Tarot deck. While we are free to interpret the cards as we like it is also important to know the basic meanings of each card. For example: The Death card does not talk necessarily about the literal death but the transformation. To me, it looks like someone is leaving their past behind and moving on to their next phase whilst going through major transformations.

3. Practice- Practising is also a very important part of learning how to read Tarot cards. I know that sometimes it's very overwhelming to memorize it and do it again and again but practice as much as you want. It will not only help you to build confidence but also will strengthen your ability to read them easily with the help of your intuition. For starters, you can draw one daily card to reflect on its meaning. I did for a few days and wrote whatever meanings came through and later, I matched it with a few of the traditional meanings.

4. Shuffling, Cleansening, and asking your Spirit Guides- Shuffling isn't about just randomly putting Tarot cards, it's more than that. It's a kind of process that helps you to focus more on the meanings again. It will help the reader's energy to get mixed up with the Cards or Decks. Tarot cards absorb energy, I think we all know that. I didn't even let other people touch my decks for 1 year because I was scared that it would mess up my decks because I wasn't aware of the cleansing methods. You don't have to cleanse it after every read, its totally up to you ngl. If you feel, you can do it but it's not mandatory. For cleansing, you can either use smoke of herbs or sage. Some people use crystals as they place them on the top of their decks and some prefer the Full Moon night to cleanse their decks. I use the sage method because it's more convenient for me. Now, Spirit Guides- they are basically our guides in the form of Spirits that help us with their guidance and support. Every being has one spirit guide or a Spirit team assigned to them. You can connect to them through meditation or using your intuition. (It's a deep topic so maybe I'll make another post about it).

5. Do not read when you are tired- Reading Tarot cards while being tired can mess with your energy as well as your ability to concentrate to read the cards with the help of your intuition. Plus, it can even mess with your intuition and cloud it. There is also an increased risk of a negative or pessimistic outlook on the questions you are asking. For me, giving respect to the cards, I don't read them when I am feeling blue.

PS- These are from my personal experience. If you have any other variants, you are more than welcome to add them here. I will keep adding more in the future.

Thank you

Infinity ❤️

💌Paid Tarot reading Services 💌Valentine's day special Paid readings💌General Tarot Readings💌Chat with Reader on Instagram💌Ko-fi for readings and tip💌Ko-fi membership💌PAC Readings💌Paid Reading Feedbacks💌Tarot for Beginners Series

171 notes · View notes

roxirinart · 9 months ago

Text

Aventurine... You've Gotta Hand It To Him

An in-depth analysis of Aventurine's hands and why they're critical to his character.

Was asked if I could post this (VERY LONG) analysis I made all about Aventurine's hands - niche, perhaps, but I love him very much and he has a LOT of focus placed on his hands in almost every aspect of his story/design! I think it makes for a really neat insight into his character. Let’s go! 2K words or so so we're under a 'read more', folks :P Hope someone finds it interesting :)

Content warning for (very brief mentions of) sexual theming and violence.

I MIGHT be reaching with some of this but I tried to make sure everything was in order, so if there are any inaccuracies lmk! I'm Always on the lookout for more valuable Avencheem lore 😋

The Avgin - Culture and Symbolism

Kakavasha was born 'blessed' with unnaturally good luck by the Avgin goddess, Gaiathra Triclops, who is often depicted as a left palm with three eyes upon it. If we assume that therefore, someone’s left hand is representative of Gaiathra, then we can draw some interesting conclusions!

When reciting Gaiathra’s prayer, the typical accompanying gesture is for two participants to put their left palms together while saying it, which - by ‘covering’ Gaiathra’s eyes with each other’s palms, they are (as per the words of the prayer) ‘keeping their schemes forever concealed’.

In the version of Aventurine’s boss form that was removed from the Divergent Universe, he has an attack that changes name for each phase of the fight, as follows:

Phase 1: “Eyes Once Closed for Lies”,

Phase 2: “Eyes Twice Closed for Trickery”

Phase 3: “Eyes Thrice Closed for Schemes”.

This suggests that the symbolic act of Gaiathra closing her eyes is blessing the person in question not to have their lies, trickery, or schemes revealed - “I do not perceive it, nor shall anyone else.” This is important to the Avgin, as they seem to have a cultural focus on underhanded methods of achieving their goals, although this was blown greatly out of proportion by prejudice from other Sigonians, and (later) the wider cosmos. The game’s loading screen description of the Avgin is as follows:

“‘Avgin’ means ‘honey’ in the Sigonian language, yet those who irrationally fear Avgins unjustifiably distort the word's meaning to perpetuate Avgin stereotypes that portray them as crafty, smooth-talking, and capricious.”

Sparkle, when talking to Aventurine, also describes the Avgin as “...notorious throughout the entire universe! Liars, thieves, social manipulators, wolves in sheep's clothing... You're really living up to the reputation.”

The Avgin’s reputation as essentially ‘evil’ people, and the clear cultural and religious importance they place upon one’s left hand specifically, can reveal some interesting things about them (and therefore about Kakavasha):

In the real world, the left hand is very commonly considered to be the ‘wrong’ or ‘evil’ hand across many religions and cultures. The word ‘sinister’ (which may be a good descriptor for Aventurine’s behavior, or at least peoples' perception of him given how other characters react to him during the main questline) comes from a Latin word that means ‘on the left side’.

The French word for left, ‘gauche’ was borrowed back into english to mean ‘lacking social grace’ - and with Aventurine’s way of getting all up in peoples’ faces, grandstanding, being provocative, etc., it seems that ‘gauche’ isn’t a bad descriptor for him, either.

In the early 20th century, left-handedness was identified as ‘a biological anomaly, associated with deviancy but something that could be corrected away with behavioral reinforcement’.

Likewise, in the middle ages in England, left-handed people were more likely to be accused of witchcraft and burned at the stake. Sounds familiar when compared to the way Sigonia treated the Avgin - as evildoers, tricksters, backstabbers, etc.,

If the Avgin were so ‘left-handed’ in all senses of the phrase, then… perhaps the ‘behavioral correction’ they received could be justified...?

It is reinforced several times throughout both written lore and during gameplay that the Avgin’s beautiful appearances and high emotional intelligence were a source of jealousy to other clans and races, hence the perpetuation of the Avgin’s negative reputation - one that Aventurine ends up playing into, often intentionally.

Why bother trying to change the stereotype if he can use it to his advantage? Besides, it’s not like getting rid of the Avgins’ negative rep will help them now, anyway.

All this is to say that the concept of hiding your true intentions with your left hand - ‘keeping your cards close to your chest’, ‘bluffing’, ‘having an ace up your sleeve’, knowing when to ‘show your hand’ - is a huge overarching theme for the Avgin, and therefore for Aventurine.

Notice that a LOT of sayings to do with hiding things from others or manipulating people’s impressions of you and what they think you might do come from poker or other card games! I can’t think of any universe where the devs did that by accident. Nice work, devs!

The Left Hand

‘Sleight of hand’ is the name of Aventurine’s game, and he sure knows how to play it. ‘Sleight’ means “the use of dexterity or cunning, especially so as to deceive”, so naturally the suffix ‘- of hand’ brings Aventurine’s hands to the forefront as one of his main tools of the trade!

However, the devs once again outdid themselves - each of Aventurine’s hands is representative of parts of his character in very different ways.

Everything about Aventurine is designed to cleverly divert attention away from his real thoughts and feelings.

I’ll get the obvious out of the way: Aventurine’s left hand (as previously discussed) is critically important to his character. It represents so many things for him both visually and otherwise.

If you’re a regular Aventurine enjoyer it’s likely you know about his habit of hiding his left hand behind his back when he’s nervous or making a big (or life-threatening) gamble - but why?

He’s specifically hiding Gaiathra’s hand. I don’t think it’s a coincidence; Aventurine - by hiding away what is essentially a physical representation of his goddess - is ‘closing her eyes’, so he cannot be seen through (even if it’s purely subconscious).

He wants people locked onto his gaze and away from the hand he’s clutching Gaiathra’s ‘blessing’ of good luck so tightly with. (Note: the ironic nature of Aventurine’s relationship with his cursed blessing isn’t lost on me, but that’s another day’s essay. :))

This habit of hiding his left hand behind his back is (once you’re looking for it) very common in the majority of his animations, art, cinematics, and other various media, like in his character trailer when he’s about to reveal the result of his big dice roll; in a specific animation during his bossfight, where he’s actively banking on losing so he can carry out his ‘grand death’ (‘clutching his chips for dear life’, as his future self put it…); the idle animation where he’s fidgeting with one of his poker chips; or in the ‘Final Victor’ light cone, where he is playing russian roulette with his own life just to prove a point to Dr. Ratio (which was a little excessive, perhaps…).

Usually, having a hand behind your back is considered to be suspicious: you’re hiding something, perhaps a weapon.

And for Kakavasha, out of fear and knowing it’ll give him the upper hand, he hides his own weapon behind his back: the physical representation of all his schemes, strategies, lies, trickery, and tactics - and the last Avgin palm to touch another’s.

Perhaps in relation to his particularly strong connection with Gaiathra, Aventurine is also left-handed! Evidence? Sure!

As a general ‘fashion rule’ (and for practicality), wristwatches are worn on the non-dominant hand, and someone as fashion-conscious as Aventurine would very likely be aware of this. His watch is on his right wrist.

Additionally, he wears no rings on his left hand because writing or similar activities would be a pain to do with that much jewelry on. Further evidence can be found in this phone wallpaper of him released by Hoyoverse: he’s holding his phone with his left hand, and people usually operate their phones with their dominant hand. Similarly, in one of the many videos on the Hoyoverse YouTube channel (I’m sorry I don’t know which one it’s from), he goes to grab his tablet off the bedside table with his left hand, too.

The Right Hand

Aventurine’s character is, at its core, is all about defense. Protecting himself from harm, shielding his thoughts and feelings from others, creating an impenetrable barrier of flashy clothing and fake smiles to conceal his true self - this all presents in his moveset in battle, too.

He’s a preservation-class, shield-providing character. The critical thing to note is this: his defense all happens on the right hand. This includes his skill (throwing out chips with his right hand to shield his teammates), and his technique, which generates an additional shield for the team before the start of battle.

His right hand ‘shields’ him both literally and metaphorically in this sense. He wears all his rings on his right hand, because that’s the hand he wants you to focus on, the pretty, sparkly one with all the flashy jewelry and expensive wristwatch, the one that’s extended for you to shake (he shakes with his right hand), the only part of him most people get to touch. A part of the body furthest away from his heart, dazzling and defensive.

The outermost, superficial layer.

It’s the hand that more often performs captivating little coin tricks out in the open to catch people’s attention, keeping them focused on something that’s within his control, because so much of his life isn't.

On The Attack

Here’s the kicker though - this makes his left hand the attacking hand. When push comes to shove (or when he feels he needs to strike first), Aventurine lashes out with Gaiathra’s hand.

As mentioned before, his weapons are his schemes, his secrets, his tricks, his lies - and the hand holding all those chips so tightly is his left, the lucky hand, the one that has brought him success and saved his life time and time again.

Ultimately, it all comes down to relying on his raw luck to push him through (whether he's happy about that or not) when all his other methods of attack have been stripped away - and his hand trembles, because having to make a blind bet that his goddess (who did nothing to stop his family being massacred, yet is both cruel and benevolent enough to keep him alive) will save him yet again must be really fucking terrifying.

When Your Hands Are Tied...

Looking at both hands together, a design choice which I believe to be deliberate is the way he has bracelets of some variety over both his wrists. It’s a subtle imitation of manacles; he may have escaped his iron ones, but Aventurine now lives in golden handcuffs instead, bound by social shackles instead of physical ones.

He’s still a slave - just not in the traditional sense.

To my understanding (someone please correct me if I'm wrong, his timeline has some annoying gaps in it even though I tried very hard to figure it out ;-;), technically Aventurine legally belongs to the IPC.

He killed his most recent owner and so escaped his that particular ownership, sure, but when he barters with Jade, he asks her to pay him the ‘remainder of his market value’, which insinuates that it would therefore give him ownership of himself.

However, Jade doesn’t simply hand over the money: she pulls him into a job contract - a new form of imprisonment - without ever giving him real legal autonomy, never officially declaring him a free man. His hands are invisibly tied - bound by corporate and social 'manacles' to his job.

"Out, Damned Spot!"

Speaking of manacles, let’s talk about the ‘Hunger Games’, shall we?

Kakavasha is, at some indeterminate point, entered into a spectator sport where he is forced to fight thirty-four other slaves to the death.

It is mentioned that he has no other weapon than the bindings on his wrists and the chain between them - and he emerges ‘victorious’ (physically the victor... perhaps not mentally or emotionally, though).

In the quest notes during Aventurine’s (literal) trip through the maze while he’s making his way to the stage for his grand finale, he describes himself with the word ‘murderer’, showing that he’s clearly distraught by what happened and resents himself for it.

Following on from this, a possible interpretation of the design choice to have Aventurine wear gloves is for him to (figuratively) hide the blood on his hands.

Aventurine’s gloves simultaneously create a literal barrier between himself and the world, and work as another piece of fancy clothing to add to his impenetrable, sparking defense. The closest match I could find to the style of Aventurine’s gloves are short dress gloves or wrist gloves, which are specifically fashion items as opposed to practical ones.

(As a cheeky little aside, the absolute closest style match I could find for his gloves are latex or leather womens’ gloves most commonly used in BDSM, which is fun! Maybe I’m reaching, but I like to think it’s a subtle way of making him more effeminate - and in Aventurine’s case, therefore a subtle call to his sexuality imo - and also another little detail to help push his ‘provocative’ appearance and demeanor.)

Conclusion

Our hands are how we interact with the world. In Aventurine’s case, they’re how he keeps the world pushed as far away from himself as possible, all the while gripping onto his ‘good luck’ for dear life.

Aventurine’s hands are his weapons, his shield, his faith, his fear, and his guilt, decorated with jeweled rings and bound in golden handcuffs.

Ultimately, when Aventurine offers to lend a hand to the Trailblazer, when he shows Sunday his hand (and a bit more besides) during their meeting, and when he forces Acheron’s hand during his bossfight, it's so that his own hands are free to do whatever he needs to orchestrate his greatest scheme yet...

...for better or worse.

#I would apologise for this being so long #but im not going to :) I put a lot of effort in hahah #wont apologise for all the 'hand' puns either #roxirinhsr #hsr #aventurine #aventurine hsr #aventurine character analysis #character analysis #honkai star rail #aventurine honkai star rail #honkai star rail aventurine #hsr aventurine #LONG POST #roxirinother

347 notes · View notes

lloydskywalkers · 10 months ago

Text

moats and boats and waterfalls

Read on AO3

Post-Crystalized — after surviving apocalypse no. 2 (possibly 3, currently under debate) the ninja now face the unspeakable horrors of budgeting.

(Years late to the Crystalized party but here's part one of my seven billion fanfics about this season because there are Thoughts to be had about this one)

As it turns out, rebuilding a monastery is a whole lot more trouble than rebuilding the Bounty for the eightieth time.

And by trouble, Cole means incredibly expensive.

“Re-installing central heating costs what?!”

Kai’s horrified cry reverberates throughout the half-constructed monastery, the echo from the noticeably empty rooms only adding to insult.

Oh, what Cole would give to have his bed back.

“I guess we’ll have to use you during the winter,” Nya sighs, patting Kai on the back. “Lloyd, get ready to supercharge him.”

“Forget heating, do you know how much Wi-Fi costs?” Lloyd stares at the estimated summary like it’s personally kicked his pet. “Who even has that much money? God?”

“If god had money, he could’ve given Sensei Wu his inheritance and we’d all be loaded,” Jay mutters. “But noooo, ‘material possessions are the death of the soul’, blah blah blah, we’ll see whose soul is dead when the gas cuts out and he can’t make midnight tea anymore.”

“It does seem a bit extreme, looking at it all like this,” Zane remarks. Somewhat ironically, as he’s taken one look at the bill then wisely retreated across the room.

“Well, blowing up the entire monastery with us in it was extreme, so it figures repairs are just as bad,” Nya grumbles.

They all shift, the mood dampening at the reminder.

Lloyd opens his mouth. “I’m sor—”

“Do not,” Kai stabs a finger at him. “Even try.”

Lloyd slumps. “If I hadn’t gotten caught—”

“We all agreed to the plan, okay?” Cole says. “Also, no one knew we’d be sending you to Harumi, so the whole thing was doomed from the start.”

While he looks a bit miffed, Lloyd gives it up. Though perhaps that’s mostly in part because he desperately wants to avoid any more conversation about—

“So speaking of Harumi,” Jay starts.

Lloyd springs for the window.

Unfortunately for Lloyd, said window is currently boarded up by heavy-duty plywood, since quality window glass fell low on the list of priorities, which gives Kai plenty of time to tackle him before he can even raise his leg to kick it in.

“No!” Zane cries. “We can’t afford anymore plywood!”

“Or like, Band-Aids at bare minimum, so don’t you dare!” Nya adds.

“—overdramatic phase has gotta go, what are you, five — hey, no biting!”

Lloyd makes a muffled sound as he wrestles on the floor with Kai. Cole turns, very slowly, to glare at Jay.

“Oh come on, we were all thinking it,” Jay defends, reluctantly standing to help pry Lloyd from the floor. “Fine, hey, I promise we won’t talk about certain loser ex-princesses who are nice and cozy in their prison cells right now, okay? There, there, little gremlin, she can’t hurt you anymore—”

“I’ll bite you next,” Lloyd threatens, but he returns to his seat, wincing as Kai scuffs his hair.

“Turn Oni again, and that might be an actual threat.”

Lloyd startles terribly, staring at Kai with wide eyes. “That’s — not — I wouldn’t—”

“Kai,” Nya hisses.

“Woah, hey, no, I didn’t mean it like that!” Kai says quickly. “It’s supposed to be positive reinforcement! Easing it into a normal thing, y’know?”

Lloyd growls. “Nothing about this is a normal thing—”

“Except none of us are normal, so therefore it is,” Kai interrupts him smoothly. “Also we already loved you when you were a tiny demon, turning into a literal one is nothing. Give us some credit.”

Lloyd pulls his hood over his flaming face, thunking his head against the table. Kai pats him cheerfully on the shoulder.

“Additionally, unless we can swindle someone by selling Lloyd in his Oni form on the black market for cold cash before stealing him back, I don’t see how this helps matters.”

Zane finds himself on the receiving end of five blank stares. Lloyd, successfully having been pulled from his hood, whistles.

“I forget how evil you can be, sometimes.”

Kai gapes at him. “So that makes you feel better?”

“I mean, in terms of normalizing it—”

“Alright!” Cole slams his hands on the table, silencing them all. He glares them down. “Meeting room in five. We’re figuring out how to make this place livable if it kills us.”

There’s a brief silence, then Jay hesitantly raises his hand.

“Hey, so uh, we kinda don’t have a meeting room right now?”

Cole collapses on the table in despair.

---

Twenty minutes and one session of shoving chairs into what could have been the living room later — it’s hard to tell, with all the construction markings and plywood still up — they’ve kicked off the official first meeting of the Finish-Making-the-Monastery-Livable plan.

“Alright,” Lloyd announces, brushing his hands as he steps back from the chalkboard that may or may not have been stolen. “At the top of the list we have Wi-Fi, central air and heating, beds — huh, maybe those should go higher — running water, electricity — that one’s debatable, me and Jay can tag-team it if we get desperate — blankets-slash-pillows-slash-etcetera, stuff to cook with, actual food — y’know what, I’m putting that closer to the top—”

“So basically, we have nothing,” Cole says blankly.

Lloyd glances at the list, then to the sliver of chalk left in his hands. “Uh. Yeah.”

“Take the weaponry, sure, but all my albums?” Jay mourns. “I spent years collecting those.”

“I lost the blanket we stole from that super fancy apartment we lived in for like five minutes when Lloyd was a kid,” Kai sighs. “That thing literally made it through the apocalypse, just to bite it now.”

“Two apocalypses too many,” Nya says.

“Did the Preeminent count as an apocalypse? Like, a minor one?”

“Three apocalypses. It took three apocalypses to vaporize my closet,” Cole sinks lower in his seat. “Man, the hoodie you got me for my birthday was in there.”

“All of our photographs are lost, too.” Zane stares at his hands.

Lloyd murmurs something under his breath that sounds a lot like family pictures and figures.

The mood plummets a bit more, after that.

“Motherfu—”

“Alright, this isn’t helping,” Cole claps his hands. “We can all cry again later. Lloyd, overall mission status conclusion?”

“Well, like you said, we basically have nothing,” Lloyd sighs. “So unless Zane wants to stop chickening out and abandon his morals so we can just hack into everything and get it free, we need to find some way to pay for all this.”

“Again, I cannot hack in to rebuilding an entire cooling unit throughout the monastery, much less make the latest clothing line from Gucci materialize,” Zane says. Kai swears. “Also, that is called stealing.”

“You call it stealing, I call it a charitable donation,” Nya says. “I turned into the ocean for this city, the least they can do is cut me a check.”

“Besides, even if it is stealing, what are they gonna do, send us to jail again?” Jay scoffs.

Lloyd jabs the piece of chalk in his direction. “Don’t jinx us.”

“Too bad we wasted our chance at crime and didn’t even get rich,” Kai mutters. “All we got was Nya.”

He yelps as she punches him in the arm. “What, too soon?”

“You should be so lucky to have me,” she sniffs.

“Hey, but going on the donation thought train — do we know anyone who’s rich?” Jay asks. “Why don’t we have any rich friends?”

“Hey, you know what’s rich? That coming from the son of a billionaire.”

“Hey, you know what else got blown up? My inheritance!”

“Please, let it go,” Zane says. “We do have rich friends, I’ll remind you, we’re friends with actual monarchy. But we can’t exactly go and ask anyone else for money, since they all already helped out so much in getting the monastery rebuilt.”

There’s a moment of pensive silence. Lloyd draws a little sad face on the chalkboard next to ASK FOR DONATIONS.

“What if we just…sued Harumi,” Cole says. “Like, there’s gotta be some law that could work in our favor here.”

“I don’t think the court would go for that,” Lloyd mutters. “Since they’re all morally corrupt frauds who hate us.”

“Yeah! Down with the system!” Kai punches his fist in the air.

“Also, Harumi likely has very little in the way of money, either,” Zane says. “Considering she blew up any and all assets she might have had claim to.”

“Haha, what a loser,” Nya crows.

“What if we sued Garmadon?” Cole tries. “The courts have to hate him more than they hate us.”

Lloyd scowls, scrawling a large NO on the chalkboard. “Not worth the effort. Plus, I’m pretty sure he’s still couch-surfing at Vinny’s, which means also penniless.”

“We could sue Kalmaar,” Nya cracks her knuckles.

“Isn’t he dead?”

“Oh, yeah.” Nya looks disappointed.

“Did anyone survive that we can sue successfully?” Jay muses. “And actually get money out of?”

“Vangelis,” Cole snaps his fingers. “Wait. No, we ousted him from the throne, so he’s probably broke too.”

“Vangelis survived?”

As they dissolve into bickering over the status of enemies potentially living-or-dead, Kai squints at the chalkboard, where Lloyd is still scratching out letters despite having completely lost the room.

“We…are…fu—Lloyd!”

“Well it’s true,” Lloyd huffs, finishing off his message with a flourish. “Tada. There’s my grand plan.”

“That’s not a plan, it’s a pessimistic estimation at how things are gonna go.”

“It’s extremely rude language, is what it is! I thought we taught you better.”

Lloyd simply looks pleased with himself at having recaptured the room’s attention. It is, of course, then that Sensei Wu walks into that room. He stops, looking from where they’re all frozen in place, then to the chalkboard.

Lloyd pales.

Sensei Wu pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers and closes his eyes.

“My dearest nephew, you have three seconds to make that disappear, or I’ll be forced to—”

Lloyd springs for the chalkboard in record time, wiping frantically at his writing with the sleeve of his gi.

“People would kill for that thing, and here he’s using it as a chalkboard eraser,” Jay mutters.

It isn’t until later, when they’ve all retreated to the collective mass of blow-up mattress and borrowed blankets they’re calling a bedroom, that anyone breaches the topic again.

There’s a loud rustling as Cole turns over where he’s precariously shoved between Kai and Zane.

“…can we sue the mayor?”

There’s a noted pause of silence, only broken by the whirring of the cheap oscillating fan.

“You know,” Zane says slowly. “In terms of slander and defamation…”

An evil, sharp-toothed smile spreads across Lloyd’s face. “I like the sound of that.”

“Hey, let’s sue the new ninja, too,” Jay grins. “Can Pixal retroactively trademark our vibe?”

“You cannot sue them based on vibe appropriation.”

“Yeah, but I can sue them for impersonation.”

---

They cannot, as it turns out, sue the mayor, because legal work like that costs even more money.

They can, however, ruin his year by filing (and forging) every possible insurance claim under the sun, so they all walk out of the office a little more satisfied than before.

“I hope all your socks go missing in the laundry!” Nya yells toward the building as they hit the streets. “I hope you have a rock stuck in your shoe for the rest of your life! I hope you’re plagued with a mildly inconvenient headache every waking moment and never fully enjoy anything ever again!”

“Alright, alright, we’re getting looks,” Cole grabs her arm. “Let it go.”

“As much as I appreciate it, I am not going back to jail,” Jay shudders. “Twice was enough.”

Kai frowns. “Twice? When else did you get arrested?”

“We all did, re—” Jay cuts off, suddenly aware of the absolute daggers Nya is staring at him. “Uhhh…aw, snap, another mental breakdown, haha!”

“Is this the whole ‘we all have missing memories you guys are definitely hiding from us’ thing again? ‘Cause I swear—”

“I said I’m getting to it, it’s a really boring story anyways—”

“Didn’t you say you lost an eye—”

“Oh look, a window!”

This time, Jay is thwarted by Lloyd, who’s simply jumped out enough windows to recognize when someone’s about to try it themselves. Except Jay is aiming to jump inside a window this time, so they both go crashing into Pixal just as she joins them.

To her credit, she barely flinches. “I thought I heard clown noises nearby.”

Lloyd stares at her in such utter betrayal, the mental breakdown thing might become valid.

“Pixal,” Jay simply begs. “Please. Help your clowns scavenge our clown dinners.”

Pixel surveys them all, a fond smile tugging at her lips. “There is a nice pizza place down the block.”

The cheers she’s met with nearly succeeded at knocking her over where Jay failed.

Dinner that night comprises of actual, warm, take-out pizza, which nearly moves Cole to tears.

“Definitely changing the priorities order,” Lloyd says blissfully through a mouthful of cheese. “Food goes at the top, no questions.”

“Seconded,” Kai mumbles.

“Thirded.”

“Fourthed.”

“I cannot believe, that after everything we’ve been through, we did not qualify for the post-apocalypse discount,” Zane bites out.

“Well,” Jay says brightly. “Pixal hacked the card reader, so technically we got a hundred percent discount.”

Zane stares at her, in equally utter betrayal. “Pixal?”

She shrugs. “They can try to send me to prison. They will fail.”

---

Two days later, Skylor cements herself as everybody’s most favorite person in the entire world by not only saving them from starvation by demanding they sit their butts down in the restaurant and eat for free, but also donating six pillows and a year’s worth of shampoo.

“I know it’s not a lot, but I’m on the lookout for more,” she tells them. “I’ve asked other people to help chip in, too, so hopefully that’ll make things a little easier.”

“Skylor,” Cole nearly sobs into his new, beautiful pillow. “If Kai doesn’t marry you, I will.”

“H-hey!”

“No marriage necessary,” she snorts. “Consider keeping you all fed my way of saying thanks.”

“But you already helped out with the monastery,” Nya says, around the same time the rest of them assure her there’s no need for thanks, despite the fact that no one has the slightest desire to relinquish their food.

“Fine, then,” Skyler huffs, her cheeks turning pink. “Make me say it out loud, will you — consider it my way of showing that I care about you all. Very much.”

“Aww,” Lloyd says.

Kai makes a face somewhere between melting and heart eyes.

“I hate all of you,” she mutters.

“We love you too, Skylor,” Cole grins.

“Hate you!”

Despite her words, they all leave with six boxes of leftovers and free dessert.

This, of course, brings another slightly-pressing issue to mind.

---

They end up getting a refrigerator for a steal of a bargain, which is probably again influenced by Pixal’s criminal extremely generous activity.

Given how enthusiastic they all are about getting it installed, Kai is half-expecting there to be no work left for him at all by the time he returns from the food run.

He’s…not entirely disappointed when he walks into the kitchen, though he is rather baffled.

The room freezes as if on record-scratch. Jay is perched on top of the counters, Lloyd has a sledgehammer raised halfway in the air, and Cole is on the ground beside the refrigerator crying.

“What?” Kai asks, blankly.

“The fridge…doesn’t fit…” Cole moans into the floor.

“We didn’t leave enough space between the cabinets,” Jay informs him through a mouthful of gummy worms. “So the door can’t open.”

Kai looks at Lloyd. “So the sledgehammer is for…?”

“DIY home improvement,” he shrugs.

“Huh.” Kai glances at the cabinets. “Put some safety goggles on first, okay?”

Lloyd only gets about two swings in before Zane descends with the all wrath of the Ice Emperor and adds to the tally of times-the- Green-Ninja-almost-met-his-doom, but it’s fun while it lasts.

They were ugly cabinets, anyways.

---

While his love for his family could potentially fuel a nuclear power plant, Kai does grow tired of being the living team space heater rather quickly.

The effort of keeping his power going all night just gets annoying (and exhausting) — so by the time he’s tagged in Lloyd to use his power to keep him going, they’re up to two moody ninja short on sleep, and no one wants to deal with that.

While they’ve scrounged up a few dollar-store quality blankets, Jay takes the opportunity to highlight his accomplishments in arts-and-crafts.

“You mean your mom’s accomplishments.”

“Hey, we made it together! It counts.”

The it in question quickly gains the name “god-awful-t-shirt-blanket” simply because the blinding combination of all their cast-off shirts sewn together is impressively terrible.

“I still think this is a waste of good clothes,” Kai grumbles. “It’s not like we have outfits to spare these days, you know.”

“Do you wanna keep heating the room at night or no?” Nya threatens.

Kai quickly shuts his mouth and returns to sewing Cole’s old plaid shirt to one of Jay’s neon blue shirts that features a dolphin printed in enough colors to kill a man.

“So, what do we think?” Lloyd steps back, wiping at his forehead with his arm as he surveys their masterpiece.

Staring at the multi-colored mess they’ve patched together into a quilt, Nya announces, “It’s the ugliest blanket I’ve ever seen.”

“Harsh.”

“Hey, we did our best!”

“See if I ever sew for you again,” Lloyd huffs.

“I didn’t say that was a bad thing,” Nya quickly interjects. “It looks a little like us!”

“Are you saying we’re ugly?!”

“Nya, no, our family genes are enough to carry us through this, I promise—”

---

They’re in the middle of figuring out how to steal Wi-Fi from the government when Tox drops by, Karloff in tow.

“You really…need…to get an elevator…or something,” she pants, red-faced and sweaty as she hauls several large bags behind her.

In contrast, Karloff looks unfazed, casually toting a hideously floral-patterned sofa over his shoulder.

“Skylor mentioned you need furniture, no?” he says. “It’s not much, but you need somewhere to sit.”

“Karloff,” Jay tells him, very seriously. “This is the most beautiful sofa I’ve ever seen.”

“Haha! Karloff is right once again,” he brags to Tox.

Tox stares at Jay in flabbergasted despair.

“You can’t put that in your home,” she mutters. “You can’t. It’s a crime against eyes everywhere.”

“Well, it’s better than no sofa, and we’re literally turning down nothing these days,” Nya says cheerfully. She leans over to peer at the bags Tox has managed to drag up. “Speaking of…?”

“Oh, yeah.” Tox heaves the bags in front of her. “Skylor said you guys needed help interior decorating? So I brought a couple rugs. She also mentioned something about the ugliest blanket she’s ever seen, so we called up some of the other Elemental Masters and got like, six or seven together. They’re not exactly works of art, but they’re okay?”

Kai tears open the first bag, his eyes lighting up. “They’re beautiful,” he whispers reverently. “Hey, guys, we got blankets! Dibs on the one with a wolf.”

“Oh, no, not that one, it’s from my awful middle school phase—”

“What do you mean, dibs, I want the wolf one!”

“Oh yeah? Down to fight for it?”

“You’re on. Training ground in five.”

“Absolutely not, we are not fighting over a blanket we’ve been so generously gifted,” Zane snaps, snagging Kai and Cole by their collars.

“Yeah, we also don’t really have a training ground anymore,” Lloyd says, half-buried in a blanket embroidered with countless bug-eyed fish. “It went ka-boom.”

Nya rubs her temples. “Zane?”

“Already factored into the expenses,” he sighs.

“Oh wow, you guys weren’t kidding,” Tox says. “Do you want, uh, like a keychain? I have some mints here too I can donate…man, Karloff, help me out!”

“Does the monastery need a metal helmet?”

“We’re really not that broke,” Nya says hastily, pushing away the offered mints. “But thanks.”

“Speak for yourself.” Lloyd snags the mints, clasping his hands together in prayer at Tox before slipping back into the emerging blanket battle.

Nya sighs. “Do you guys want tea? We’ve got three whole mugs, now.”

Tox glances from the other ninja, where Jay has been successfully rolled into a blanket burrito and is in potential danger of being rolled right down the mountain, to Karloff, who’s the reason said danger is potential.

“We can spare a minute, I guess.”

The t-shirt blanket is later relegated to the living room, where it lives as a throw blanket over Karloff’s floral sofa. They unanimously decide it’s the perfect home for it, and the only real critic is Skylor, who’s almost reduced to tears the next time she visits.

---

They celebrate their achievement of having a living room by all eating dinner on Karloff’s floral-patterned couch. This comes with a good deal of kicking and squirming and the tragic loss of Kai’s fortune cookie, but they make it work.

“This is kind of depressing, though. Sitting in the dark,” Nya remarks.

A muscle in Jay’s jaw twitches. “Well, maybe if someone hadn’t melted all our candles—”

“You were the one who had the brilliant idea of trying to barbecue with them, genius!” Kai snaps.

“It was a pretty spectacular fire,” Lloyd admits. Then, hastily, “In a really cool way!”

“Perhaps a lamp should go next on the list,” Zane says. “Rather than relying on Kai as our light.”

“Hey, I’m a great light,” Kai scowls. “I’m the light of your life. I could light this place up all day!”

“Yes, and I’m sure it would end similarly to the time you nearly burned down a building under the belief that you were achieving your true potential, but were, in fact, just dehydrated.”

Kai gapes at Zane in betrayal. “You said you’d take that to the grave!”

Zane carefully laces his fingers together. “Technically, I did.”

“No you didn’t!” Jay interjects. “We never buried you, so you never had a grave! Ha!”

Zane looks affronted. “I didn’t get a grave?”

“You got a statue!” Kai quickly consoles .

“Yeah, what’d you want us to do, pick your exploded pieces out of the street for half a year then toss ‘em in the ground?”

“Oh, as if that’s any worse than being left to pour your corpse out in cups of water.”

“It wasn’t my corpse, I was still alive!”

“You were the literal ocean. Fish swam in you.”

“Ew, does that mean—”

“Finish that sentence and I will drown you where you stand—”

“You’re all in desperate need of counseling,” Pixal mutters.

“Tell me about it,” Lloyd says, leaning back on the armrest of the sofa.

Cole shakes his head. “Lost causes, all of them.”

Pixal stares at them both, expression pinched, before deciding to respect the hopelessness of lost causes.

“Hold on, I think Kai’s crying,” Lloyd moves to sit up, only to wobble, slip sideways, and go crashing to the floor gracelessly.

“Just like when I fell to my doom off the Bounty,” Cole reminisces.

Pixal’s eyes glaze over.

---

Later that evening, Pixal adds “therapy” to the list of potential expenses on the fridge door. Regretfully, it loses miserably in the debate against hot shower expenses, so it too joins the pile of repressed memories that will undoubtedly haunt them in the future.

“But hey, a hot shower can cure depression on a good day,” Cole says, and that settles that.

---

Hot showers, as it turns out, are a hard-won priority.

It’s less so after Jay, Nya, and Pixal camp out overnight near the pipeline and perform their own less-than-legal maintenance, but one of Zane’s carefully filed insurance claims actually went through the other day, so they’re taking their luck as they can.

It’s not until they get working on the bathroom itself that the true difficulty makes itself clear.

“Hey, uh,” Kai stares down at the patch of rotted floor he’s ripped up, wiping at the fog that’s spread across his safety goggles. “Is the base layer supposed to look like that?”

“Look like what?” Cole abandons the tiling he’s been placing to glance over. His face drops. “Uh-oh.”

“Is that all black mold?” Nya gags, nearly dropping her bottle of cleaning bleach.

“FSM, no wonder we’re all crazy,” Cole mutters.

“Alright,” Kai strips off his rubber gloves. “Nothing for it. Back up, guys, I’m barbecuing this baby.”

“Wait wait wait don’t—”

Ten minutes and a good deal of hacking and wheezing through teary eyes later, Cole murders Kai while they all look on.

Well, he attempts to.

“You filled the monastery with chlorine gas, you absolute moron—!”

“How was I supposed to know that would happen, I’m not a chemist—”

Nya glares ahead darkly as Lloyd gingerly treats the reddened blisters on her hands.

“None of you,” Zane says, through gritted teeth. “Are touching cleaning chemicals for a year.”

---

“Not sure I wanna know how you pulled off poisoning yourselves, but I’m kinda impressed you did a better job of it than most criminals would,” Ronin tells them, once the monastery has been successfully de-chlorinated and the bathroom tiles firmly put in place, sans black mold.

“Maybe we can hire ourselves out to them when we’re strapped for cash,” Nya sighs.

“We’re literally always strapped for cash. We’re broke.”

Ronin laughs, clapping Jay on the back. “Welcome to adulthood, kid.”

“I don’t think normal adulthood gets their home blown up on a regular basis,” Lloyd hisses.

“Fair point,” Ronin nods.

“Well, thanks for saving us all from a slow and painful death,” Cole scrubs his hands over his face. “We can pay you back sometime in the next century. Maybe.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Ronin waves them off. “It’d be like kicking a dog when it’s down, askin’ you all to pay. Besides, I probably owe you one.”

“You sure do,” Jay glares.

“Hey, hey, I said I was sorry for the whole human sacrifice thing,” Ronin placates. “Want some good news, at least?”

“Is it actually good news?” Lloyd eyes him shrewdly.

“Lighten up, captain trust issues.” Kai barely snags Lloyd before he lands himself back in jail. “I looked into some more of those insurance claims you filed, and you actually got somethin’ out of it. I, uh, helped the bank along a bit, with the refund.”

“Bank?” Cole whispers.

“Refund?” Jay’s eyes shine.

“Yeah, got you all your checks right here,” Ronin says, tugging six neat envelopes from his jacket. “Just don’t blow ‘em all at once, okay? Haha.”

Zane looks as if he might propose to him on the spot.

“Hey, this isn’t too bad!” Kai exclaims. “We got money!”

“Guys,” Lloyd says, staring at his check. “You know we should probably pool all this together and spend it on necessities, right?”

“Yeah,” Cole sighs.

“It would be the smartest course of action,” Zane adds.

There’s a noted silence.

“Or,” Lloyd says.

---

In their defense, they spend exactly two-thirds of their checks on household items.

Whether or not these are needed household items remains a debate.

“If we’re all buying lamps for the living room, can we at least attempt to match?” Zane sighs.

“Booo, where’s your joy and whimsy?” Jay sticks out his tongue.

“That isn’t even a lamp, it’s a light-up axolotl.”

“The heck’s an axo-lot—”

“It lights up, doesn’t it? Ergo, it’s a lamp.”

“Ergo, what are you, Sensei Wu—”

“We’re never having guests over again,” Cole remarks, as Lloyd and Nya maneuver a five-foot-tall rendition of Godzilla into the shopping cart that may or may not light up.

“The monastery’s gonna look rad as heck, we’re forcing everyone to come over and look at it,” Kai corrects as he tosses a set of flame-patterned curtains into the mess.

“Absolutely not.”

“I actually might like them,” Zane muses. “They would capture the energy of our kitchen perfectly.”

Kai beams. “Flame curtains are a go!”

In the aftermath, they total around six individual blankets, five mismatching lamps and one light-up axolotl, a table that no one knows how to put together, one set of flame-patterned curtains, another hideous couch, and enough cutlery and kitchenware that no one has to eat out of Sensei Wu’s incense bowls anymore.

“Alright,” Lloyd says. “We’ve got three hours until the stores start closing. Everyone take the rest of your checks, don’t think about how much of a disaster the monastery still is, and start thinking about how valid retail therapy is.”

“Aye-aye,” Kai salutes, before immediately booking it for the clothing outlets.

---

Three hours later, Kai’s happily blown his entire check on a new wardrobe and exactly one pair of name-brand brand shoes. He’s unreasonably proud of himself for his restraint, until he catches Cole with three pairs of his own name-brand shoes, and immediately regrets being responsible.

He spots Jay going off in the N-Pop section of a music store, Nya investing in a sinfully-priced espresso machine, and Zane walking toward the clothing outlets himself with a high-quality pair of noise-cancelling headphones.

He doesn’t find Lloyd until well after he’s picked up his own clothes, already sporting an oversized hoodie he could’ve just stolen from Kai.

He’s more concerned when Lloyd proceeds to blow the last of his check at the sporting goods section of the local convenience store. Considering how long Lloyd spent looking wistfully at the candy aisle, Kai is baffled by the decision.

He’s even more baffled when Lloyd proceeds to box up his purchase for delivery instead of keeping it himself.

He’s utterly horrified when he sees who it’s addressed to.

“Are you serious?!” he asks shrilly, torn between ripping the box from Lloyd’s hands or immediately calling the mental health hotline. “You’re sending her gifts?”

“It’s not a gift, it’s — look, it’s a long story, you wouldn’t get it,” Lloyd grumbles, plastering another layer of duct tape over the box. “Just help me deliver it to Kryptarium and I’ll show you, okay?”

Kai very much does not help, because he’s not an enabler and he cares about his brother’s mental health, but he does follow Lloyd to Kryptarium Prison and lurk behind him as he eagerly watches the surveillance screens.

Harumi stares at the box before her, looking every bit as baffled as Kai is.

“Who would send me a volleyball—”

She freezes, her face going utterly blank. A muscle in her jaw twitches.

There’s a brief flash of what could be amusement, a brief expression as if she’s eaten something sour, then a fury like no other eclipses her face.

“LLOYD! I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF, YOU THINK YOU’RE HILARIOUS—”

Lloyd’s still laughing by the time they’re escorted from the premises, hard enough that Kai has to catch him when he trips at the top of the steps.

“What’d you even write on the note?” Kai finally asks, a bit in awe.

Lloyd grins. “I told her good luck getting together her villainous volleyball team in jail.”

Kai blinks. “Do I…want to know?”

“Nope!” Lloyd says airily. “But I’ve made my point.”

---

Regardless of some behaviors, the mental health hotline remains a constant idea. It simply happens to come up at inconvenient times, such as when Cole drops a dresser on his foot halfway across the courtyard.

He swears so loudly the whole monastery echoes with it.

“Oh geez, Cole, are you okay? Why’d you lift the whole thing on your own?”

“We could have helped,” Zane rushes over. “You don’t have to do it all yourself—”

“Yes I do!” Cole yells. “I’m stronger than that, I’m supposed to be stronger, I have to be stronger or you’re all going to die next time—”

He cuts off abruptly. Zane looks heartbroken. Jay—

Is suddenly busy smacking Cole upside the head.

“No, you don’t!” he snaps back, even louder. “You don’t have to do it by yourself! None of you do! Every time anyone tries to do something by themselves it all goes wrong and we lose someone, so we’re never — doing that — again!”

He seizes Cole around the arms, his wild eyes meeting Cole’s wide ones. “No one blames you for the stupid tunnel. I don’t care how strong you are. We’re all here and that’s what matters, so don’t you dare put that at risk.”

“But I—”

“No.”

“Jay, I—”

“No.”

“I—”

“No!” A manic expression overtakes Jay’s face. “No, no, no! No one’s taking the blame. No one’s isolating themselves. No. One. Is. Going. Off. Alone. You hear me?!”

The others are frozen, halfway outstretched hands caught as if suspended in ice. Kai’s expression is twisted painfully. Lloyd’s eyes are on the ground. Zane is as frozen as the metaphorical ice, and Nya looks devastated.

“No more being alone,” Jay says, the fire in his voice giving way to something wetter and considerably more sniffly. “No more. Don’t — you can’t—”

“Okay,” Cole whispers. He carefully takes Jay’s hands from his shoulders, grasping them in his own instead. “Okay. No more going at it alone. I promise.”

The monastery courtyard seems a little colder, in the silence.

“Anyone feel like circling back to the whole ‘suing Harumi’ idea?” Kai finally speaks up.

Jay gives a wet snort.

“Well, we’re probably gonna need to afford tissues,” Lloyd says. His own voice isn’t exactly dry, either.

---

The downside to sticking therapy smack at the bottom of their priorities is that they all really are, in fact, not okay.

Most of the time, they manage.

There’s a solace in being together, a comfort in having the people you trust and care for most in the world right next to you when the nightmares get bad. When Jay awakens screaming for Nya or clutching at his throat for air, Nya is already holding his hand and Cole’s holding the rest of him.

When Zane lapses into silence too long, emotions a roiling mess that leave him paralyzed, Kai is there with one-two-three’s for breathing and Lloyd is there to draw little cats with him until the world subsides again.

When Cole’s eyes shadow in training and his hits grow wild, Zane is there to pin him before he bloodies his hands and Jay is there to sing horrible off-key songs he loves until the panic ebbs.

When Nya stares at the water too-long, her eyes misty and her expression dreamy, Jay is there to hold her tight and Kai is there to talk until his voice goes hoarse and hers returns.

There are other times, though, when it’s harder.

It hits Kai this time about halfway through painting the walls of the kitchen a cheerful yellow, said paint splattered up to his elbows, courtesy of Lloyd. He glances down — to joke, to laugh, to not think—

And pauses. With the headband he’s stolen from Pixal in place, pushing back the mass of thick blond hair, Kai can just see the purple-red edges of the swollen, irritated wounds that scar Lloyd’s scalp. The twin marks are a better sight than when Kai first glimpsed them, bleeding circles that looked as if someone had drilled into Lloyd’s skull — but not by much.

“S’fine,” Lloyd mutters, catching Kai’s devastated expression. “I can’t even feel ‘em. Not really.”

“Liar,” Kai rasps. “They look awful.”

Lloyd makes a face. “Gee, thanks a lot.”

“I mean it. What if they get infected, or worse, or — have you had Sensei look at them?”

Lloyd wraps his arms around himself, avoiding Kai’s eyes. “No. I didn’t really…I did what he asked. What they both did. And then screwed the whole thing up, so it was all useless anyways, so I—”

He bites his lip, hard enough to crack the already dry skin.

“I don’t really wanna hear anyone telling me what else I’m doing wrong with myself, right now.”

Kai is angry enough to feel sick.

“That’s stupid. That’s so stupid, he should — it shouldn’t be like that, it’s — why didn’t anyone—” he shakes his head. “Why doesn’t anyone ever ask us if we wanna be — if we wanna—”

Lloyd’s hand closes around his wrist, gently tugging Kai’s own hand from where it’s clawed unconsciously at his arm, leaving ugly red stripes against his skin.

“You asked,” he says, quietly. “That meant a lot.”

Kai looks away. “Lot of good it did.”

Lloyd’s grip tightens. “It meant the world to me,” he repeats, stronger this time.

“But I couldn’t—!”

Lloyd abandons his hold on his wrist to wrap his arms around Kai entirely, holding tight. Bony and strong and familiar, Kai’s little brother to the core.

“Thank you,” he says, fervently enough that Kai can feel the ache in his voice. “Thank you for looking out for me.”

Kai’s voice is a miserable mess of fought-back tears. “I couldn’t even do anything.”

“You asked me what I wanted,” Lloyd says once again, and Kai can hear the edge of tears threatening his voice, now. “That was everything.”

Giving in, Kai drops his head into the mess of blond curls and hugs Lloyd back. Lloyd’s hair smells like blood and paint and steel and the strawberry shampoo Skylor gave them, and now it’s gonna smell like Kai’s stupid snot and tears.

“Hey, having another hug party without me is lame.”

Kai gives a wet, broken response as Nya throws her arms around them both.

“Idiots,” she murmurs, resting her head atop theirs. “I love you both, you know that?”

“Ew, gross,” Lloyd snorts wetly. “Hey Kai, Nya loves us.”

“Little jerk, who you callin’ gross? And here I thought you loved us too.”

“Well obviously I love you guys back, who’s the idiot now—”

Kai simply clutches them both and cries harder, as if holding onto them will stop himself from falling apart.

It works, in the ways that matter, though it’s always because they’re holding back even tighter.

Later that evening, Zane bathes Lloyd’s head in antiseptic and Jay forces them all to sit through the PowerPoint presentation he’s made with Nya titled “Every Super Cool Totally Good Character with Horns Ranked”. He loses them the minute he brings anime characters into it, as everyone suddenly develops incredibly passionate opinions about the rankees, but Lloyd’s laughing too hard to have his own opinion and Kai doesn’t feel like he’s drowning under inadequacy anymore — just choking to death under the weight of Jay’s elbow for daring to insult Re:Zero as an anime “since it actually has Oni in it, idiot, your opinion is trash—”

They get things back to being okay, one way or another.

---

Somewhere in the third month of renovations, they finally scrounge up six whole beds. It takes a good deal of dragging and cursing, but they finally manage to move into their own rooms, the once-empty spaces looking a little less lonely.

“Now we don’t have to all sleep together in the same room anymore,” Jay announces. There’s no small amount of celebration at that.

The celebration lasts up until sometime around three in the morning, at which point the consistent nightmares land them all right back in the pile of communal air mattresses.

“Just for like, one more night,” Kai yawns, as Lloyd curls closer beneath his arm.

“Totally, yeah,” Nya echoes, one leg spread across Jay, her arm sprawled over Kai.

“Go to sleep already, FSM’ sake,” Cole begs, before slumping over Zane.

For all Cole’s begging, he’s still the first to act when Zane suddenly lurches up from the bed, gasping for air like he’s drowning and giving them all joint heart attacks.

“—hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s just us—”

Cole’s hands hover, non-threatening, as Zane buries his face in his palms, breathing ragged. The others have begun to get up now as well, the slow kind of approach that lets Zane know exactly where each of them are.

“I despise this,” Zane spits, as his hand drags down to fist over his chest. “I hate feeling like this. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it—”

“I know,” Cole says. “I know.”

“This is why — it’s so much easier—“

“It’s okay, it’s—”

“It is not! I do not need to breathe, and yet I can’t!” Zane bursts out, frustrated and frightened. “I’m not supposed to break down like this, I do not, I do not—”

“You’re not a machine,” Cole says steadily. “You get to break down.”

“But if I—”

“You don’t,” Lloyd murmurs. “You don’t have to turn ‘em off, Zane. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”

Zane’s head lowers, his eyes shadowed. “It wouldn’t hurt,” he says, but it’s reluctant.

“Yeah, you’d never hurt, but you’d never be happy, either,” Kai says. “And that’d suck.”

“It’d suck for us, too,” Cole speaks up. “We’d have to live without your laugh. Without your sassy remarks. Without your kindness.”

“We’d live without you,” Lloyd says, quietly. “And you wouldn’t really be living, would you?”

Zane crumples, his shoulders shaking as he allows Kai to pull him close.

“If it gets too much, just come to us,” Jay says. “We’ll be more, okay? We’re pretty good at that.”

Zane gives a wet, stifled laugh.

“Don’t go, even if it’s just your emotions leaving,” Nya murmurs, her head against his. “It isn’t worth it.”

With slowing shudders, Zane lets himself relax, the warmth of their little family pressing around him. Kai is an immovable barrier at his side, save for where Lloyd’s tucked beneath his arm. Jay’s legs tangle with Lloyd and Cole’s, his hand held tightly in Nya’s.

“Leaving isn’t worth it,” Nya echoes. “Not in any lifetime.”

---

Bit by bit, the monastery comes together.

The smell of new paint gives way to a familiar scent of mixing elements and laundry soap, one that’s followed them since the first Bounty. They comb through every online shop until they find the exact brand of sheets that feel like the first apartment they ever lived in together. Thrift shops and sales and birthdays stock closets once again, new hoodies that are quickly stolen and passed back and forth. The collection of CD’s and movies rebuilds into stacks once again through shared movie nights and pirated music.

And little by little, with the consistent passage of time, photographs line the walls of the monastery once again.

A little older, a little worn, but a collection of family all the same.

---

“Except we still don’t have damn central heating—”

“Suck it up and light the fireplace, hothead.”

“No respect in this city. None at all.”

#lego ninjago #ninjago #post-crystalized #my fanfic #had to post one (1) at least #tbh this is terrifying! i forgot how to write #my fic

223 notes · View notes