#i mean im in the hospital BUT its for a good reason this time!

[xviruserrorx]

I love my GI doctor so much ❤️

[makeitlookdecent]

srry homie for what im boutta do

for the au[other colors] i thought it would be cool to have klugs parents show up for a couple scenes, but for the timeline of the major events i needed them GONE and UNRESPONSIVE.

hes smart so i think, even at a young age, he gets that they're busy with work and all, and he's not alone per say- his friends and teachers and everyone in primp would definitely look out for him, but ive just been thinking. because like, i thought itd be cool if it was almost like strange also helped raise klug. as a (malicious) mentor of sorts. after they made truce (that they both keep breaking)

i imagine klugs parents are probably good people, but are horrible as parents. like they just keep doing their own thing and just let the village raise him.

but then that got me thinking, in this setting, do you think he would unknowingly (or maybe knowingly but trying not to think about it) resent them for not being there for him growing up?

[the-kneesbees]

uggh I'm gonna cry

[luetta]

idk if people on tumblr know about this but a cybersecurity software called crowdstrike just did what is probably the single biggest fuck up in any sector in the past 10 years. it's monumentally bad. literally the most horror-inducing nightmare scenario for a tech company.

some info, crowdstrike is essentially an antivirus software for enterprises. which means normal laypeople cant really get it, they're for businesses and organisations and important stuff.

so, on a friday evening (it of course wasnt friday everywhere but it was friday evening in oceania which is where it first started causing damage due to europe and na being asleep), crowdstrike pushed out an update to their windows users that caused a bug.

before i get into what the bug is, know that friday evening is the worst possible time to do this because people are going home. the weekend is starting. offices dont have people in them. this is just one of many perfectly placed failures in the rube goldburg machine of crowdstrike. there's a reason friday is called 'dont push to live friday' or more to the point 'dont fuck it up friday'

so, at 3pm at friday, an update comes rolling into crowdstrike users which is automatically implemented. this update immediately causes the computer to blue screen of death. very very bad. but it's not simply a 'you need to restart' crash, because the computer then gets stuck into a boot loop.

this is the worst possible thing because, in a boot loop state, a computer is never really able to get to a point where it can do anything. like download a fix. so there is nothing crowdstrike can do to remedy this death update anymore. it is now left to the end users.

it was pretty quickly identified what the problem was. you had to boot it in safe mode, and a very small file needed to be deleted. or you could just rename crowdstrike to something else so windows never attempts to use it.

it's a fairly easy fix in the grand scheme of things, but the issue is that it is effecting enterprises. which can have a looooot of computers. in many different locations. so an IT person would need to manually fix hundreds of computers, sometimes in whole other cities and perhaps even other countries if theyre big enough.

another fuck up crowdstrike did was they did not stagger the update, so they could catch any mistakes before they wrecked havoc. (and also how how HOW do you not catch this before deploying it. this isn't a code oopsie this is a complete failure of quality ensurance that probably permeates the whole company to not realise their update was an instant kill). they rolled it out to everyone of their clients in the world at the same time.

and this seems pretty hilarious on the surface. i was havin a good chuckle as eftpos went down in the store i was working at, chaos was definitely ensuring lmao. im in aus, and banking was literally down nationwide.

but then you start hearing about the entire country's planes being grounded because the airport's computers are bricked. and hospitals having no computers anymore. emergency call centres crashing. and you realised that, wow. crowdstrike just killed people probably. this is literally the worst thing possible for a company like this to do.

crowdstrike was kinda on the come up too, they were starting to become a big name in the tech world as a new face. but that has definitely vanished now. to fuck up at this many places, is almost extremely impressive. its hard to even think of a comparable fuckup.

a friday evening simultaneous rollout boot loop is a phrase that haunts IT people in their darkest hours. it's the monster that drags people down into the swamp. it's the big bag in the horror movie. it's the end of the road. and for crowdstrike, that reaper of souls just knocked on their doorstep.

[clanoffelidae]

Trying in vain to explain to the cats that we can’t cuddle for a few days bc I have ringworm on my leg 😔

[4pfsukuna]

No ordinary love

Debrief: Terry promises to come back in one piece and something about those pretty eyes has you believing everything he says.

Warning: fluff, angst, no weapon formed against me shall prosper but against this mans eyes? We never stood a chance.

Terry has always and i mean ALWAYS been persistant. If he had a goal he didnt care about obstacles; that didnt matter. He could sometimes be so one track minded and while you loved that about him its one of the reasons you and him couldn’t date.

“Still look as good as i remember” You hear and your keys fall from your hands with a loud clatter against the freshly painted porch. After a long day at the hospital being the head nurse may pay well but they make you work for your paycheck. And after your 9 ½ hour shift that was only suppose to be 3 just to help cover everyone’s lunch you were so over it.

“What you doing back in town?” You ask reaching down for your keys but he beats you to it taking the heavy grocery bags from your hands relieving your arms for a moment. He could be here today and gone tonight that’s how it was with him and your attachment issues just didn’t allow that, you needed a constant. Fuck the military and mcmap but you also couldn’t ask him to choose you or a career, so you chose for him.

“Damn no ‘welcome back, i missed you, good to see you it’s been so long’?” he jokes trying to look you in your eyes but you avoid eye contact at all cost. You would fold the minute you looked into those electric blue eyes and when he smiled at you instantly you were weak in the knees fuck standing up.

“Its been so long i guess i should enjoy this time i have before you up and leave” you snap before finally looking up at him and it’s his turn to look away. “If im lucky you’ll say something before you leave this time, hmm?”

And yeah he was fucked up for leaving with no good bye but this man was so unbelievably down bad for you that had you made the slightest indication of wanting him to stay he would’ve. You heald his heart in your hand with no regard or maybe you just didn’t know but to hold that much power over someone was insane.

You can’t lie thee Terry Richmond was a fine fine FINE man. God took his time with him if he took 7 days to create earth he took 8 to make Terry and watching him do all the manly things around your home never got old as he hummed along to you playing Sade.

“See something you like?” He ask looking over his shoulder at you as you take a sip of the moonshine from your cup pulling his attention.

“I love a good handyman… might have to get me one im trynna see what that be like” you throw shade sitting on the couch not expecting him to make his way over to you holding your chin in his palm as he directs your head up to him.

“You can get the idea of another man out your head, i got some loose ends im trying to take care of but it’s always gon be you mama… always has been.” He promises and its the one that he doesnt let anything get in his way but you didnt want him to break this. You look away before he squats down pulling your face to his again lips close enough to yours all he had to do was breath heavier and yall would be kissing.  

“So you finallygon’ let me take you out on a proper date?” He ask his lips brushing yours and you almost can’t even comprehend what he’s asking you feeling the heat buzzing so much between you two as it always did.

Your tongue grazes your bottom lip and he instantly follows it with his eyes before his thumb follows the trail. 

You and i, baby… This is no ordinary love you hear sades voice through the speaker and make the mistake of looking up into his eyes yeah he had you on lock and no key to be found as much as you wanted to stand up you couldn’t.

“Ill think about it” you murmur your lips brushing his before pulling away drinking the rest of your moon shine his eyes watching you with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He needed to take care of those loose ends ASAP.

And when the morning comes he’s gone… as you expected. You didn’t expect a bouqet of roses and sunflowers on your living room table. You can’t help the smile, you want to be so mad at him but damn this wasn’t no grocery store bouqet this was some professional shit. 

Its another 4 days before you hear from Terry again, and in them 4 days you smiled on your way to work seeing the flowers although they would make you sad looking at them before bed. Just a reminder that all you had was an empty promise and empty bed never coming home to a man and really the only one that you knew was for you. Dating was pointless because none of them was him you didn’t even bother anymore yet he was probably out slanging dick left and right so before those thoughts can take over you submerge yourself deeper in the tub enjoying the lavender bubbles and cinnamon scent of the candles you lit.

Fuck, terry smelled like cinnamon.

“Oh so you do remember my number” You speak into the phone, sitting up a bit, voice raspy.

“I deserved that, how was work mama?” He ask and you instantly hear the frustration in his voice. He sounded tired, frustrated and like he wasn’t in the mood for shit yet he was calling you.

“You sound like your day was longer than mine” you admitted running your fingers through the bubbles and he chuckles.

“Yeah… just needed to hear your voice and I can get through anything. You like the flowers?” He ask and it sounds like he’s taping something a nervous tick you know he has. You don’t even let your mind wander into that territory just hoping it has nothing to do with his cousin mike who was always finding himself at the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Yeah a lot… you being safe out there? Wherever you are?” You ask and he laughs this time.

“Yes baby, gotta make it back to you in one piece” and he never said that before, never even called you. He must be in something deep.

“You in trouble with the law?” You tease earning another laugh and the sound of taping gets louder. Leave it to him.

“And im not your baby, either” you add and that makes him laugh… a real one you can’t hide the smile on your face just glad he can’t see it.

“That’s why you smiling ain’t you?” He ask earning an eye roll as you sink back further into the bath. Its silent for a second, a comfortable one and you close your eyes.

“Just…” you trail off not knowing what kind of trouble he was in. “One piece” you reiterate.

“One piece” he promises easing your mind  before catching you off guard. “You miss me?”

And you hang up the phone.

The next time you see Terry again is when you’re up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep. You’ve tried a bath, a shower, journaling, reading the Bible and even eating. Ok and maybe catfish, baked mac n cheese and cabbage wasn't exactly a late night snack  but it gives you a view of something rustling through the bushes outside and you're quick to grab the knife from the top of the fridge.

You don’t expect it to be a bloody Terry with two bullet holes one in his shoulder and one in his back not close to his spine but as a nurse youve seen enough  life changing accidents and you never wanted it to be terry so as you sit on the couch behind you cleaning his wounds you silently pray over him, for him to any God that will listen that this man lives and comes out on top.

“Baby?” He asks softly and absent mindedly you answer not even realizing he called you that; just that he called you. You were stuck in your own thoughts. you stay quiet for a moment until he looks over his shoulder seeing the emotions swirling in your eyes. Anger, sadness, worry maybe even regret.

“Baby girl i'd rather you just yell at me and tell me you hate me than silent treatment” he grinds his teeth turning back forward so you can finish. It feels nice being touched in a tender way he can’t remember the last time somebody did it's just been fighting for the past few days…weeks… months.

Years.

You don’t say anything at first you look for words to say until you think of the only thing you know that will get through his head.

“You promised… you promised me one piece” you feel your eyes start to water and hes quick to turn around quick to face you when he hears the tremble in your resolve.

“I am in one piece…” he tries watching the way your eyes start to water with tears and you stand up tossing the needle and thread onto the coffee table next to his empty plate.

“Are you fucking serious? This aint one piece! This is not a life” you finally yell at him before a tear falls yanking your hand from his grasp. “You and this disappearing act fucking sucks! I never know when you’re leaving or coming back if it’s for days or weeks and when you do come back you leave all these promises of being with me and settling down! When? When the next bullet goes through your spine and you’re paralyzed?” You snap harshly at him through tears you don’t even give him a second to talk or breathe.

“You never break a promise because you pussyfoot around what actually happened. Its like telling a lie— not telling the whole truth is still a lie. I don’t want no more of your promises or half truths.” And he opens his mouth to speak but you arent done yet now that he got you started he was going to listen to everything you had to say.

“ You don’t think I’m worth more than that? I deserve flowers…all the time. And dates not promises of one. I deserve a person i know i can rely on, someone i can come home to because THEY are home not the house. I deserve love and alot of it…all the love i give without expecting anything in return and you know what? Nah. I need that in return. And you can’t provide that so i gotta let you go cause it’s hurting me more to hold on” you cry but articulate so perfectly hes silent. It’s nothing he could say you read him like a book, tore his heart out like some flimsy pages and closed it shut like you closed your heart off to him.

Everything was falling apart, he didn’t think his day could get worse.  You had walked away and shut your light off making sure he heard you lock your door. Oh you were done done.

Leaning forward he drops his head in his hands you were the only thing keeping him at ease, the only thing keeping him going and without that he was fully ready to crash out. Ready to kill everybody in that crooked ass police station. Fuck peace, nah now he wanted problems. 

Terry was a man that didnt let nothing stand in the way of what he wanted. You are what he wants and right now he was prepared to burn the whole state down if it meant getting you back in his arms, but this time officialy.

Yeah they fucked with the wrong one this time. 

Cleaning up everything, the first aid kit, dishes and alcohol he had to clean up his act to he throws on a fresh shirt looking at the flowers you still had on the table even though they were starting to wilt.

You wrap yourself up in the blankets angry at how stupid this whole stupid situation was. It was starting to feel like that episode of spongebob where he keeps asking squidward “are you finished those errands yet” like an ass there are no errands squidward just didnt want to work and why were you so heartbroken over a man who didnt want to put in the work for you.

“Bitch and they were roommates” your coworker gossips over lunch just some leftovers you had thrown together though before you can ask any follow up questions theres flashing police lights, sirens and yelling making the two of you stand up and rush into the hall. Gossip hour would have to wait.

A familiar blonde girl gets pushed past you on a stretcher covered in glass and blood even blue lips. You know her, an unfortunate upbringing but she cleaned up even got a job at the court house and was in school for law.

“Summer?” You ask walking with the stretcher listening as everybody yells commands to another.

“You must be the girl… t-the girl he’s in love with” she smiles clearly dazed out of her mind. “He did 100 miles an hour with no tires” she whispers before passing back out.

Nothing she was saying was making sense and not that you gathered much but what you did gather is that there’s someone else in a car with her. Someone else that needs help so running back to the main entrance all you see is several shelby springs cop cars and damage to the front doors.

“One day somebody is going to take down those fucking crooked cops” you shake your head thinking maybe summer was to dazed and just saying anything.

“Baby girl” you hear behind you turning to see Terry who looks like he’s also covered in glass, this time a bullet proof vest a bouqet of roses and sunflowers in one hand and a vhs tape player in the other.

“Terry wh—“ he stops you pushing the flowers in your hand pulling your face to his and finally kissing you. His lips are warm and he kisses you hungrily holding you as if youre going to run when he lets go.

“Hey man” a security officer speaks up unaware of the situation, stepping too close for either of your liking.

“Shut the fuck up” he fucking barks before pulling you back to his lips licking into your mouth not caring about professionalism, or restraint just you… it’s always been you. Leaning back into the kiss giving him the same amount of passion and intensity he’s pouring into it you feel him relax with a slight groan.

Pulling back from him needing to breathe he chases your lips making you giggle.

“Stop denying me” he gruffs out only for you to swat at his hands pulling at his shirt to see if he's hurt anywhere but he shakes his head.

“One piece baby, i promised�� and that was enough for you. No new bullets, cuts scratches anything. He heard you, heard your rant and didn’t say anything words wasn’t enough he had to show you.

“I also promised you a date… hows tomorrow night?” He ask before shaking his head pulling 3 crumpled hundred dollar bills out his pocket and tucking it into the front of your scrubs.

“Nah call out tomorrow, im picking you up at 6” he tells you with a smile this time shocked you pull him down for a kiss.

“Yeah… i did miss you”

[mrinafria]

[contains spoilers]

I'm an eternal digger of good narrative techniques. A decent story becomes great in my eyes if the narrative is done right. And it's one of the hardest things to do really, since there's no one-size-fits-all rule for what technique works well with a particular story and what doesn't. One of the primary reasons I keep obsessing over Lovely Runner is its' narrative technique. In all honesty, if it had a linear, singular narrative, I would not be hyperventilating over it on a constant basis (I still would just a certain amount, because both Byeon Woo Seok and Kim Hye Yoon deserve awards for what they are doing). One reason it has managed to knock it out off the park and take the top spot in my forever-favorite list is how wonderfully well the narrative is done.

The primary perspective used in this show is Im Sol's. It's through her we're introduced to the story. Her perspective gives shape to the plot, the characters, because we learn things through her. Her perspective is absolutely critical for exposition. Without her thoughts and way of viewing things, you would never realize why saving Seon Jae means so much to her, or why she would bend the rules and bulldoze ahead when it comes to his safety (exhibit A, her leaving home on the day of the accident, despite knowing about her fate). She'd rather have him alive than have him in her life. Without her narrative, you'd think it's really all about a fan saving her idol (thanks to everyone who'd rejected the script listening to that pitch by the way, I'm grateful we have BWS and KHY as the leads because of that, I would not change it for anyone else). With Im Sol's perspective, you realize, she is not just a fan: she's an ardent admirer, a cheerleader, a well-wisher, a protector, an invisible friend trying to support her friend any way she can, someone who respects Seon Jae, sees him as an idol but also as a human, someone who wants to give back to him the same kindness, empathy and love she had once received from him over a radio call. To her, Seon Jae is first a guardian angel and then an idol, the angel who changed her view of life, made her appreciate things even amidst all that could be wrong with the world and her life. He saved her. Not just on that day at the hospital but every time she struggled and faltered since then, he was there, as invisible as it may have been. So this time, she wants to save him, no matter the price.

Then comes Seon Jae. Oof. If Im Sol's perspective gives the story its beautiful, beautiful shape, Seon Jae's perspective breathes literal life in to the body of the story. The show wouldn't be what it is today if not for his perspective. Without his view into things, Im Sol appears as a fangirl going to extreme measures to save her idol, clinging onto him like a monkey (yes I mean the poster) embarrassing the heck out of herself, making you cringe (in a good, enjoyable way) throughout. Then you reach the end of episode 2 and it knocks the breath out of you because WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN. It all clicks.

All this while we kept thinking Seon Jae was caught off guard and just kind enough to tolerate her antics, and maybe he'd slowly fall for her now, only to realize we were completely oblivious to a whole different side of the story. If Im Sol's narrative draws you in and keeps you hooked, making you root for her to succeed, it's Seon Jae's narrative that makes you irredeemably fall in love with them and sincerely, genuinely, desperately hope they get their happy ending together after all the storm.

And the motifs. Walking/running, for instance. I'll focus on just one scene here. I recall seeing a bts where KHY is discussing the OG 2008 accident scene, and it explains how she has to slow down, while running away, for just a moment, only to be hit by the taxi driver. Have you ever been in a situation of absolute panic, desperation and stress, then suddenly found a familiar face or a name or a thing you could connect to, and felt a wave of relief rush through you? She sees Seon Jae, a person who is calling out her name. Even if she didn't know him back then, the fact that he knew her (and that he had his uniform on), gives her a sense of safety she badly needed that moment. That momentary relief, so visible in her features, then overtakes the crippling fear she felt running in the middle of nowhere with no one in sight in the dead of the night. Her body, already exhausted beyond anything, responds to the relief she feels for those few seconds, slowing down her steps.

And that is when she is caught off-guard and hit. That also might have added to Im Sol's anger at the hospital when she is screaming at Seon Jae, her internal anguish that if only she had not paused seeing Seon Jae, and kept on running, then maybe she wouldn't be hit, wouldn't fall, wouldn't lose her ability to walk. It's one thing to have tropes and symbolic things, but it's a very different thing to know how to use them effectively so they elicit very specific types of emotions/reactions out of people. Lovely Runner excels in that. All kdramas more or less have 'things' that take on different meanings for the couples/viewers. It's the way motifs are used to narrate the story in this one that has me going back over and over again to all the episodes aired so far. These are not just their 'things', these are 'things' that drive the plot forward, tell you about their characters, their personal motivations, what they mean to each other and so much more.

This is getting longer that I intended it to be so will end with this. I feel valued when watching Lovely Runner. And I've seen people saying the same thing. It feels like they respect your critical thinking skills, and your ability to infer, so they don't spoon-feed you everything from the get-go, and you can't predict much despite it being primarily a rom-com. You'd be pulling your hair out (again, in a good way) trying to figure out what they will show next, and you will be somewhat or very far from the truth, which will compel you to think further about the story, the characters, long after an episode has aired...I can't remember the last time it happened with a drama. I love this storytelling.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

hiii i just found your blog, I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE, and if i can request like an angsty story about house and wilson with reader, and the reader has like some disease that'll kill her😭😭😭😭😭im just craving angst

YOU ARE SO SWEET THANK YOU ��💞 it's been awhile since I've written a good angst fic so this is perfect for me

Your Last Breath (Greg House x gn reader x James Wilson)

Warnings: talk of hospitals/medical procedures, reader has a mystery illness that kills them, they/them pronouns used a few times to refer to the reader in a gender neutral way, hurt/no comfort, heavy angst, main character death (spoiler: it's you)

The doctors had been trying for months to figure out what was wrong with you. Months of invasive tests, months of going back and forth with possible explanations, months of being put on temporary treatments that seemed to work for a short while before you eventually succumbed to whatever was causing your problems again.

Everyone was stumped, and by everyone I truly do mean everyone. Not even House could figure out what was wrong, something that frustrated him to no end for multiple reasons. And by the time he was finally able to figure out what the cause was, it was already too late.

The disease had progressed too far along on its course for the doctors to be able to treat it properly. The best they could do was make you comfortable for the few weeks you had left to live.

Usually he liked having cases he couldn't crack, he liked figuring out the puzzle of what was bothering his patient, he liked being able to go to Cuddy and say "I told you so" when it ended up him being right and everyone else was wrong. But not this time.

This time all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and die. If only. He'd gladly give up both of his legs if it meant you'd get better.

Meanwhile, the resident head of oncology wasn't taking the news very well, either. It was normal for House to shut himself away for extended periods of time, but not Wilson. He barely left his office anymore, not to check on his own patients, not to accept a request for a consult, nothing. In fact, the only time he ever did leave was to visit you.

Most nights were spent with either him or House at your side, checking your vitals and fetching whatever it was that you needed. You ended up having to beg the both of them to go home at some point, even if it was to just shower and change, but they still refused, choosing to stay at the hospital instead.

Occasionally one of the ducklings would stop by if either of them couldn't for some reason, whether that be due to another patient needing attention or because you finally convinced them to take a break for once.

Foreman was solemn, talking about arrangements that could possibly be made for your body after death if you hadn't decided already. Cameron was sympathetic, reassuring you that they'd make sure you wouldn't be in any pain during your last days on earth. Chase was playful, trying to take your mind off things by cracking a joke or two. And Cuddy was surprisingly very nurturing when she managed to make the time to check in on you.

The whole thing was very bittersweet. While you appreciated everyone caring so much about you, it hurt to know why they were doing it.

Your final day was surprisingly quiet, with no nurses stopping by to check on you every hour or so like they had been for the past couple of weeks where you'd been bedridden almost completely. You suspected someone had requested for that, so you could have a bit of peace in the last few hours you'd be alive for.

House stood at the foot of your bed, watching as you slept. He looked like he was about to say something when Wilson suddenly spoke up from the armchair beside your bed.

"Don't even think about it, House. You're not waking them up right now."

Despite Wilson's firm tone, House couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Oh, come on. It's not like it matters much, they're going to be dead soon anyway."

It took everything in the oncologist not to snap and strangle the man in front of him. The only thing that managed to stop him was the sound of you letting out a hacking cough as you woke up. Even with the oxygen machine, it had become increasingly more difficult for you to breathe.

"Guys, don't fight," you tried to make your tone stern as you lectured them, but your throat was dry and therefore made your voice weak and raspy when you spoke.

"Hey, hey, don't speak, it's alright," Wilson gently reassured you as he reached out to take one of your hands into his. Your skin felt clammy, but he didn't care.

House had a pained look in his eyes as he watched you, but he did his best to cover it up with his usual snark. "We were just talking about you. Trying to figure out who should get your stuff when you die."

Wilson gave him an evil look, but you simply laughed. At least, they thought you laughed. It was kind of hard to tell given how sick you were.

"You guys are funny."

If it were any other time, House would've beamed with pride and joy at being able to make you smile with one of his quips, but this time he just felt empty inside, knowing that it was possibly the last one you'd ever hear. He quietly observed as Wilson helped you drink some water out of a small paper cup, one hand helping you hold it up to your lips while the other rested on your shoulder.

"Thank you," was the only thing you managed to get out once you were done, your breathing stalling yet again when you tried to speak. The three of you knew it was getting close to when it was going to happen. The problem was that only one of you had accepted it, and it wasn't either one of the two doctors who were in the room.

"I love you guys," ended up being your final words, a bittersweet smile on your face and tears in your eyes as you took your last breath. You hoped they knew that you meant that. You hoped they knew that you didn't blame them.

And you hoped that your death helped to bring them closer together rather than tearing them apart. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but who really cared? It's not like you'd be around to witness it anyway.

End notes: I rarely ever finish a request this early so please don't expect this to become a normal thing 😭 I just got really into writing this for some reason and once I started I just couldn't stop

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[heavenssins]

MY PITT ANALYSIS:

this is my take, my observations, my opinions pls dont be mean!!

okay so basicallyyyyyyyy! people villainize pitt characters and there are people in the pitt WHO ARE BAD PEOPLE. those are not who im talking about! im talking about people villainizing santos, frank, javadi, etc. which is not the purpose of the show AT ALL!! the villain is the system of which they are operating under. each character has a reason for doing what they do. because they are human. they are FLAWED!!! and its not an excuse for what they do, its an explanation. collins rightfully calls out mckay for her bias against the one patient. i love robby!! one thing i love about his character is that he is flawed! his implicit bias against women showing through the whole shift. he has grown up and benefitted from the patriarchy so even if he is not intentionally favoring the men, its almost like a natural thing for him. its most apparent to me, with david and the mom who is giving her husband stuff. with david, he “doesnt want to ruin his life” so he is hesitant. he gets upset with cassie when she does go to the cops, and blames it on cassie despite him being the one to tell a cop during the pittfest incident that david had something to do with it. now we go to the wife of that man in the hospital, and instead of hesitating and listening to her and asking her to talk to her daughter, his immediate reaction is to report. and i dont think this makes him a bad person!! most people have implicit biases! trinity does what she thinks is morally correct, from the threatening of the dad to turning langdon in. samira says time and time again she wants the patients to feel comfortable and she uses her own trauma and grief to help her patients. javadi is just a 20 year old who wants to be normal!!! frank is an addict and that does not make him a bad person but it also doesnt excuse his behavior!! these characters are all HUMAN. THEYRE FLAWED!! but people need them to be good. they need the show to be morally correct 24/7. they cant handle not having things be “good” or “bad”. this is not me saying people have to like every character!! obviously you like what you like and you dont what you dont!!

each character has something the affects how they handle the situations and patients. jack has obviously been a combat medic or something along those lines, which influences how he deals with the MCI. trinity’s own trauma from her childhood not only helps with the end patient but helps her protect a little girl. mel’s caretaker personality helps with miss ginger & her daughter, and growing up with becca (and being neurodivergent herself!) helps her understand how to help terrance & the little girl from episode 8. samira’s past with her dad, its implied (stated!) he didnt get adequate care due to his race, influences how she helps patients, she doesnt just brush them off. she connects and makes the process easier, while also conducting research that would make a huge difference in medical treatment for POC! javadi having to grow up way too fast influences how she interacts with the other workers, while also having to continuously prove herself. collins own pregnancy and past pregnancy help her connect with the one mother who is giving birth, but also with the teenage girl’s mom who is hesitant about the abortion. whitaker’s situation influences how he acts towards those who are unhoused. franks addiction, limits his help for those who need it, but also blinds him to others needs but is ultimately helping him with patients. mckay’s care for women especially those struggling is most likely influenced by her own struggles. these characters are all people. they are all supposed to mirror reality. they’re not perfect and they all struggle.

[nishitanis-left-nut]

spoilers i guess for nanbas backstory but it doesnt really matter honestly. i sound like a broken record (at this point im annoying myself) but ill blow up if i dont talk about how weird the character writing is in this game every time they pull something like this. nanba being a criminal made sense, it made sense that hed get along with ichiban and know how things in the underworld work since he was a part of it at some point. i like saeko but the fact that shes a civilian with 0 ties to anything shady has been bothering me since the start, and now that problem extends to nanba (adachi is a whole nother can of worms) they keep de-fanging everyone and its getting kind of frustrating (ended going on a couple of tangents theres spoilers for Y0 and 5 under the cut too)

i liked zhaos introduction, he was fun and unreasonable and an unapologetic asshole that seemed to have things running under a vice grip. but the more ichiban and him talk the clearer it is that it was all just theatrics with no real bite behind it. i would compare him to majima but majima is an example of that trope done right. and the games were never shy about showing him doing "bad things", it didnt feel like they were afraid of "going too far" with him and making him unlikable (yea theres the unspoken rule of "he cant actually kill anyone" but you get what i mean, its more of a base-line for everything else that they CAN get away with)

admittedly if we compare the "bad" things both kiryu and majima do on-screen the games do make an effort to not really dwell on the fact that kiryu was, in fact, a pretty fuking good loan shark. and i doubt all the people he was assigned to go collect from were evil men that deserved a beating. its like the game's trying its damndest to make you like these characters and think of them as "good people" but it comes across as kind of desperate? wanting to eat your cake and keep it and all that

what im trying to get to i think is how in literally all of the other games the characters are allowed to not be perfect. even farther than that they were allowed to be terrible and do terrible things since thats what the entire franchise is based around??? youre telling me they could have a character in y0 that was part of a sex trafficking ring and be able to make him layered and charismatic but nanba selling hospital drugs for extra cash was too much? and not even going to that extreme since yakuza 0 was a prequel they could afford to just kill oda off: saejima taking revenge on kugihara by stomping on and breaking his arm, akiyama assigning women to work at his cabaret as one of his tests, nishiki, tanimura being a slime ball, kiryu having worked as a loan shark, takasugi violently harassing shinada for his money back, baba almost killing haruka, nishiki.

i dont think its anything wild to say that you kind of have to go into these games expecting that a lot of the characters you meet will be people that have done bad things because of the environments they live in and different parts of society they come from. so when you keep presenting characters with very reasonable flaws and then backtracking and going "oh no theyre actually good dont worry!" it starts to get a little weird. like, you know youre allowed to have criminals in your crime drama right? masato and arakawa are the only ones that feel like they fit into how the franchise works

im so upset at my own inability to just accept that the games are gonna be completely different from this point on honestly

[lemonandlime22]

Platonic yandere!Ace & Deuce

Warning(s): Yandere shit, unhealthy behavior, this shits only good for fiction irl this is no fuckin good obv, basically me rambling abt whatever comes to mind, cussing, not edited

A/N: getting more into yandere shit again, might write a fic at some point, but knowing me i doubt it lol. Sorry for the extreme lack on content, ive recently moved and been so much busier then i ever expected, also no wifi yet so its rly hard to to this on the computer. rn im pet sitting for a friend and they let me use their wifi so im able to write.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These two as yanderes wouldn't be too bad in all honesty

their just both extremely overprotective

and maybe Ace is a lot tad manipulative

Deuce just wants you to be safe and happy.

They downright refuse to let you alone with anyone that has or has tried to hurt you, it took a lot of convincing and reassuring just to let those ppl near you period

and there are quite a few ppl that fall into that category,

All the house wardens + Jamil

except for Kalim,

Crowley

I cannot express into words how much they hate Crowley,

The tweels,

Lilia

just in case.... (≖_≖ ),

Ruggie

he and Leona are kinda a package deal in that regard,

Ortho

for B6 spoiler reasons,

And a bunch of random students

cause a lot students at this school are assholes.

And i think that's abt it so far-

Deuce worries so much abt you all the time, he's like a clingy big dog

he rarely lets you leave his or Ace's sight

Ace acts like he could give a rats ass abt you but rly he worries just as much as Deuce

These two will do virtually anything for you

want answers to a test?

they got them for you by the end of the day!

some rando bothering you?

this world might have one less person or a hospital might gain a patient!

want Ramshackle cleaned

that mf is ganna be spotless once they're done with it!

ok maybe not the last one they'll rly just casually clean when they're there and in a month it'll be sparkling

The only downside to this is that they will always bicker wth each other while doing these things.

Oh Ace and Deuce almost never leave Ramshackle btw

Just imagine having a clingy dog and cat and that's abt the same experience.

Oh and this might go without saying, but by the end of the story they won't let you more than 6 feet away from either of them at all times

and i mean ALL

also there is no way in hell you are ever going to go home

these two will fr get a sledgehammer and go to town on that mirror no matter the consequences.

Buuut before that, they'll mostly Ace try and convince you to stay willingly by saying almost anything from guilt-tripping you too antagonizing your friends and family.

Decue will try to convince you too stay by getting you things, both sentimental and otherwise

he might even go back into stealing if the time comes.

Overall, rly these two aren't all that bad, but kidnapping is still on the table if they ever need to take dire measures....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[liverpool-enjoyer]

Would you mind ranking the mission impossible movies from best to worst?

OKOKOK FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE TO RANT ABT MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!!

now ik you said best to worst but imma go from worst to best cause i think thats more dramatique

OK MY MISSION IMOPSSIBLE 1-7 RANKING:

7. mission: impossible 2 low hanging fruit i know. look i dont dislike this movie - im a diehard m:i fan, so i like all of them. this movie has its moments, n i rlly like john woo as a director, n i loved the rock climbing scene n knife stunt. the romance rlly brings it down for me tho, felt very shoehorned in there.

6. mission: impossible 3 here bc its better than 2 but not as good as 1. loved that it introduced my goats julia n benji, n i loved the building jump n the running scene. rlly solid movie, only this low bc i like the others more.

5. mission: impossible ik its pretty criminal to have the original at number FIVE, but the next four are just so goated. now obviously this movie is great, its the og. but tbh it doesnt stand out to me as much as the others do, doesnt have as much of a huge action setpiece that we've come to love. plus, modern day tom cruise wouldve done that helicopter in the tunnel bit for real.

now i call this next category the FOUR MOVIE PERFECTION RUN,,, bc thats what it is. every one of these next four are absolutely perfect in my eyes, n i could see any of them being someones number one

4. mission: impossible - ghost protocol perfect. down to the last minute detail. i,,, i mean where do i begin. THE burj khalifa stunt. adding benji to the team permanently. paula patton beating ass. the dude from lost dying like five minutes in. tying up the loose end that is ethan n julia. n ik this is niche but the lil outfit change ethan does when hes leaving the kremlin gets me every time. gosh theres just,,, SO much to love abt this movie idk what more i can say. this one was my mission impossible gateway drug.

3. mission: impossible - dead reckoning ok hear me out HEAR ME OUT. before you get mad. OBJECTIVELY SPEAKING, this is the best one. this is THE best one. but this is my personal ranking. the reason i put rogue nation n fallout over this MASTERPIECE is purely bc of,,, The Thing. yknow. the thing that happens to that one character. that one very beloved character. if youve seen the movie you know what i mean. but if youre not a mission fan, n youre not emotionally attached to these characters like i am, this is the best one. unfortunately, i am very emotionally attached to ethan n his pals.

2. mission: impossible - fallout now,,, what can i say abt fallout that hasnt already been said. its perfection. perfect, down to the last minute detail. the STUNTS. the continuity from rogue nation. introducing alanna n having her stab a man while wearing this GORGEOUS white two piece that i still think abt to this day. bringing back solomon lanes bitch ass. bringing back ILSA who is literally my number one my goat my everything. n tell me how every action setpiece n fight is imbedded with fucking CRACK. the club bathroom fight, the HALO jump, ilsa n benji duking it out w lane in that little shack, ethan n walker duking it out on a cliff, THE WHOLE ASS HELICOPTER SEQUENCE where tom cruise just casually flew a helicopter as one does. n OHMYGOSH THE RUNNING. im a simple man ok i could literally watch nine hours of simon pegg telling tom cruise where to run. oh also the fucking fake out in the beginning w the fucking hospital room n benji impersonating that cnn fellow is literally the most impressive thing in the series to me. i was FLABBERGASTED. ok i know im just rambling n listing things but this movie is just,,, so, so good

1 mission impossible - rogue nation see. im aware that fallout n dead reckoning are objectively better than rogue nation. however,,, nostalgias one HELLUVA drug. this movie came out when my family was moving n i was SUPER emo abt it. but i had been looking forward to this movie for like years at that point n even tho i was going through a tough time i was SO stoked to see rogue nation. n rlly i feel like its the perfect mission impossible movie. luthers back after being absent in ghost protocol. tom cruise holding his breath for six fucking minutes as one does. benji is the damsel in distress. n how could i forget the fact that this movie introduces THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES??? ilsa my GOAT. notice how the three movies shes in are the top three,,, yeah shes the best written character in the series not to mention shes uh just rlly cool n yeah. this blog proudly promotes ilsa faust supremacy.

[elysiae]

ON-LYNE headcanons based on concept art, songs, and the miniscule info we have on them with a little bit of self projecting and mental illness mixed in

because im techrotted brainrotting over the boys and i love them dearly and im so excited for the technocyte codas i cant take it i need to yell about them (also partially inspired by this post! go check it out its so cool, i love the theories and based a lot of the personality traits off it)

also quick note that we're going under several assumptions here: Gregory V is and has been a shit manager for a while, they know they're being replaced, they live together and are hiding in some corner of Hollvania that's uninfected, and most importantly of all that they're alive and (barely) kicking

(concept art was snatched from the warframe fandom wiki, technocyte coda page)

~5-7min read, long ass text wall warning

ZEKE

he's giving he/they bisexual

definitely has a history of dealing with peer pressure. "never set the trend, follow your own" he is sooo against that go with the crowd shit... which is really funny when you take the infestation into account

chronic depression that's been stuck with him for a while now, but it's spiraled beyond anything he can reasonably manage ("Zeke hungers to unmake himself" can be taken a plethora of ways)

wants to get an eyebrow piercing but Gregory never let him "for his image" (still soooo fucking salty about that)

^ speaking of, he's so salty actually. not to a point of being petty exactly and it's 90% directed at Gregory because he's just so sick of the guy but WOOH can he throw shade

anyway he's giving grunge fashion enjoyer

i know this is semi canon but im leaning into it HE IS 1000% AN AVID FASHIONISTA. and he has some STRONG OPINIONS on fashion trends

if he's not bedrotting, he's trying on different outfit combos. always getting the boy's opinions on them

they don't hire anybody to do their outfits for their shows because Zeke is always on it. he knows everybody's style, what they're comfortable in, and what looks good on them like the back of his hand he frankly doesn't trust anybody else cuz they always fuck it up (see "Zeke has some STRONG OPINIONS on fashion trends")

Zeke SWOONS for Drillbit's fashion sense. when they first met, that was what grabbed his attention: he's so unapologetically himself and the expression through fashion hooked him. (take it platonically or romantically idc)

he loved loved loved being famous at first, but with everything going on he's losing that spark. and it terrifies him because this was his dream for so long

his actual problem (shit manager aside) is that he can't deal with the pressure of being the face of the band. like yeah, everybody plays their part, but he's the leader. if he wasn't the one fully in the limelight, he'd be better off, but he doesn't realise that yet <3

and he desperately needs a break

he's gonna snap soon and it isn't gonna be pretty

whether that ends up in somebody dead, himself dead, him in a mental hospital, or something less extreme, that's a future problem for a future Zeke

DRILLBIT

PUNK KING

there's a running joke he has psychic powers. it's like he just reads everybody's mind. he just KNOWS??? it creeps the other boys out sometimes

would be an awesome therapist

studied psychology in university for 2 years before dropping out because he didn't have the time needed to really dedicate to it

(plus i mean, he's already living the life as a singer, no point in getting a degree he might never use)

had really bad scoliosis as a kid, uses a brace to try fixing it

^ his posture is awful

^ ^ he hates chairs, especially ones without cushions/padding. most uncomfortable shit ever

^ ^ ^ unfortunately Gregory never fuckin listens to him so he has to suffer almost every event

shorter than Harddrive (6'1) & Zeke (5'11), but wears platforms so he looks like he's the tallest

DJ is always stealing his spiked bracelets. it used to annoy him but he gave up after figuring out they'd always magically reappear on his dresser a couple days later tops.

he's always going after Packet for his posture. "buddy you don't want to end up like me, trust"

definitely an astrology fan. not like full on believing in it, he's not an astrology girlie, but he finds it cool. has tarot card sets

i feel like he'd be interested in witchcraft too, but it's something he keeps very, very close to his chest. not even the boys know

deliberately pushes his luck with Gregory. as the 'token alt' he gets away with more, and he's trying to see how far he can go with it before Gregory shuts him down. it started after the whole Zeke eyebrow piercing shitshow.

listen, Zeke is his best friend and he's happy for him, but man, does he want to be in the spotlight. i mean, face of the band, the 'leader'. if Zeke were to step down or something happened, Drillbit would snatch the opportunity SO fast.

he knows Zeke's problems better than Zeke himself does lol, he's been trying to subtly convey that for months now. Zeke isn't the only one, though

Drillbit always had this sixth sense when it came to everybody else's feelings, he always felt them stronger than his own like the shore of the peaceful beach swept over with a tsunami.

sometimes it makes him physically ill.

empathy. but it's something more than that

right now, emotions are high, overwhelming, suffocating from all corners and he's drowning in the tides.

HARDDRIVE

this might be a little heavier sorry in advance

contrary to the implications of "he really knows how to treat a girl and make her feel like she’s the only one in the world!", he has actually never had a girlfriend last more than 3 weeks

not because of anything he's doing. he just has a knack for getting really shit partners

he's gay, but extremely in denial for the LONGEST time and trying to come to terms with it

so emotionally intelligent? if you're going to have a late night deep talks, it's going to be with him. guaranteed. he thinks a lot about things

maybe a little overprotective of the boys? just a smidge.

he's a cuddly teddybear yes, but he could still 100% kick your ass if deserved (but would feel guilty for weeks)

used to have stagefright. Zeke and Drillbit helped him come out of his shell in that regard, but he still does freeze up sometimes when he remembers he's on stage. in front of millions of eyes.

cottagecore energy. enough said.

shares rings with Drillbit all the time (insert marriage joke here)

he can carry all of the members around easy peasy and has done it to all of them at least once on camera. there's sooo many memes about it all over the internet

never escaping the perfect husband material allegations (truth)

he doesn't really mind the fame... but he's also not entirely sure about it. he preferred being a smaller band, when he didn't have to hide his face and deal with fans every time he went out.

part of him wants to leave, but he's torn between his loyalty to on-lyne, more specifically his friends and memories in it, and freedom. but with being such a well known figure, he knows it isn't that simple.

there is no freedom. he hit the scene, there's no turning back.

he'll always be Harddrive, wherever he goes.

PACKET

aroacespec. demiaroace maybe. havent quite decided

not gonna lie i do not have many ideas for him, but that is the most demiboy to ever demiboy. i mean come on, PACKET as a stage name?

im sorry the name Packet had to come from an inside joke or something

has had like 50 different hair colors over the course of his life. this is his natural hair color though because he needs to give his poor hair a break (SAME BUDDY)

inattentive ADHD. nothing else to add there

UNGODLY SLEEP SCHEDULE. stays up to stupid o' clock gaming. you need to talk at 3:08am? he's awake!

might be biased from this post but he's giving "cute unsuspecting guy knows a lot of really concerning things" (how to hide a body, all kinds of manipulation tactics, how to kill a person in various ways, how fast bodies decay, must i go on)

^ hes a writer. he writes fanfics and posts them under another name, i dont make the rules

you'll hear him cackling at 2:47AM and i can almost guarantee it's because he's laughing at terrible reader x on-lyne fanfics

sorry but my king here looks like his mom dressed him and i think Quincy would have a heart attack if he saw him. Zeke sure did when they first met (Zeke is singlehandedly carrying his fashion on live performances)

(OK THIS WAS A LITTLE MEAN BUT THERES WAYS I WOULD PERSONALLY DEFINITELY FIX IT)

Zeke probably gave him a whole ass makeover. took one look at him and was like hell No you need to learn how to style your outfits or i will die (exaggerated but as a fashion enjoyer i feel u Zeke)

he's 70% of the reason Zeke doesn't trust anybody else to do their outfits because of how awful his sensory issues are. everybody else fucks it up and he can never make the full show without a meltdown

people seem to think he's a lot younger than he is and it drives him fucking crazy because nobody listens to him (the boys do though <3).

there used to be a serious infantilizing problem in the fanbase but on lyne managed to nip it in the bud for the most part.

he has dissociating problems, running on autopilot sooo much. forgets he's a person. so easily lost in conversations. you know how it is!

listen this might just be my love for horror, inspo from this post again and (probably 80% of it) an au i've been writing recently... but he's giving uncanny valley. unintentionally freaks people out.

like he has problems. everybody has their problems but there might actually be something Severely Wrong with his mental, but whatever the hell it is, nobody really knows??

he's still an awesome guy; smart, friendly, incredible mediator, there's zero doubt in anyone's mind he loves the boys

but its not just what he knows and has researched that's strange.

it's the way he switches up so fast when somebody walks up to him. the wildly different traits he shows for different people. the way common morals dont seem to be something natural to him, but he makes an effort to look like it is even with a lack of passion. it's the fact that despite being a mediator and being so 'empathetic' with the boys, he's very... emotionally cold in other departments. his behavior like a lightswitch, two completely wildly different modes

with everything going on, i don't think they ever will really know what's up with him. just gotta hope it doesn't get worse, whatever it is, and that he's okay

"don't hate the hacker, hate the code", amiright

(as a small a/n i have actually not decided what is up with him. because in the au i wrote---and what led me to get attached to these boys---hes a fanatic cult follower who's barely clinging to the ropes of sanity because shit just got that bad. will be doing research so i dont stereotype whatever i end up attributing to him :thumbsup:)

DJ RoM

first of all.

🏳️‍⚧️ . i know what you are DJ. they/he user spotted

does not gaf about Gregory's whole "hide all this stuff about yourself for your image" shtick, they're always making trans jokes

i know their fan site page says he's "soft spoken and quiet" but i look at them and can't help but think they'd say the most unhinged things.

and you think he's bad on camera? they're worse off camera <3 Zeke may be the one flirting with everybody but this guy? THIS GUY is a different level if you know what i mean

naturally blond but started getting grey hair from stress and just ran with it. eh they stand out more who cares

definitely has busted hearing

they have tinnitus. it drives them crazy. usually they just tune it out, but there's times where it seriously gets under their skin and you can TELL

very sound sensitive. misophonia moment

out of everybody they NEED to have a good 10 hours of sleep or they will NOT be able to function. (unfortunately i imagine considering the circumstances, he probably hasn't had enough sleep in a good few months at least)

he has so many different kinds of sunglasses. the regular ones in their art, but also heart shaped, star shaped, probably more fun shapes too

horror enjoyer, especially analogue/psychological. stuff that messes with your head.

super fast learner, especially musically

probably multilingual but as for what languages they know i'm not sure lmao

you know all that advice that's like "when somebodys making fun of you take it really well and laugh with them, and the bully will move on because youre not a fun target"? yeah this guy. living proof it works (for the record i dont actually know if it works, he just has this vibe)

i have a feeling he's gone through some really traumatic things. like, before the techrot takeover and maybe even before meeting the boys

he's seen shit and at this point it's really, really hard to make him flinch.

but theyre so chill about it that youd literally never guess

Drillbit's been trying to get them to open up and talk for years now it feels like, because he's not just seeing a mental decline, he's seeing a physical one. they all are seeing it

and it scares them

... i think thats my longest post yet lmao. anyway they're hot and they better not die in an upcoming update and we better be able to KIM message them or i'll wail. my favorite band of introverts that look like extroverts and accidentally got famous and dont know wtf to do with themselves because theyre BEYOND 6 feet deep in this shit now

k peace im going to bed... feel free to throw out thoughts on these guys bc i need more content of them (and i need more harddrive headcanons)

[scramjettracy]

Hey Scottie, this is a bit of an odd one and it’s okay not to answer. I’ve got a close family member in hospital right now and im struggling to know what to do - i it really hard visiting and theyre not awake so its… wierd and sad. Need some big brother advice and encouragement. Thanx

Hey there, Anon

Ah it is such a hard time and I’m so sorry your family is going though this. All the hugs from us.

I guess this kind of thing is different for everyone and there’s no right or wrong answer. And actually what works on one day might not feel right another so - basically go with the flow and be kind to yourself.

It can feel really easy to despair and feel helpless and think you can’t DO anything so there is no point in you going at all. But there is.

The main thing to remember is we don’t know for sure how much people are aware of, even on maybe a very basic instinctive level. There are so many cases where people have remembered conversations that happened when they were heavily sedated or even in a coma! Just because they aren’t giving any sign they know you are there, doesn’t mean they don’t know. They may find it incredibly comforting to hear your voice or feel your hand, or just know there is someone in the room who loves them.

At the same time, you have to look after you too and so if there are days you can’t face it - that is ok as well.

It’s also fine to sit there with another person too and have a chat to them - you don’t have to be focussed entirely on your person in the bed. They’ll be glad of the company anyway.

I’ve sat bedside vigil a fair amount, as you know. And one of those times… for a good couple of weeks we genuinely couldn’t be sure if we’d get him back and it was agonising. And it felt so pointless talking or anything because… well. But the silence was worse and I couldn’t help but think that if he was aware of what was going on, he’d HATE the silence.

So while I spent quite a lot of time just holding his hand I also chatted quite a bit. Sometimes I talked about fun times from our childhoods, sometimes a story or fact I’d heard that I figured would interest him. Sometimes it was just rubbish, you know? Described the staff there, what the weather was like, a dog I’d seen in the carpark. I did describe the contents of my backpack to him in ridiculous detail one time and on another I recited the first hundred or so places of pi because I knew it would annoy him? Sometimes I sang stuff… sometimes I read to him. Told him a couple of my worst dad jokes to see if I could annoy him into reacting…

Sometimes - I’m not going to lie - I was telling him off for scaring us and all the reasons why he HAD to wake up because we couldn’t do without him. Poor guy didn’t get a break from my nagging even when he was in a coma.

And sometimes I just sat there and ugly cried. And I think he’d have understood, you know?

Thing is - all of it is exactly as you say - weird and sad. And awkward. And sometimes kinda embarrassing because we aren’t designed for one way communication. And actually if you’re the kind of person who is more comfortable sitting quietly that is just as valuable - you don’t have to become a stranger just because you’re in a strange situation.

Sometimes they will wake up and it will all eventually become a strange, nightmarish memory and things will be good again.

Sometimes though, they won’t. And these will be your last times with them - if that is the case I doubt you’ll regret for a minute the time you spent there even if they haven’t responded and you didn’t say anything profound or whatever.

And those last times, though not how you’d have wanted, won’t in any way cancel out the good times you’ve had together before.

I hope you’ve got people around you - make sure you chat to them too, say when it’s hard, let them help you, don’t feel like you have to experience it all on your own.

Take care anon, loads of love to you

S x

[winterrrnight]

hi bestie!! i love you and im so proud of you!!

can i get meet me in the hallway with zach & prompt 16 🤭

ahh thank you sm bestie!! I loved writing this and I hope you like it too!! ❤️❤️

he isn't you

PAIRING: zach maclaren x gn!reader

SUMMARY: you tell your best friend what you feel about him.

WARNINGS: nothing, reader has a boyfriend, and reader also cheats on said boyfriend but we want that to happen guys 😏

EDITH SPEAKS: im back from the dead!! what a way to start with the new year honestly. I feel a bit rusty so this may not be as good as the rest of my stuff, but I think its pretty good :) I hope you all enjoy! please vote & comment if you enjoyed <3

PROMPT REQUESTED: "he treats me well-" "okay good for you." "- but he isn't you."

You kick your shoes off your feet as you close the door behind yourself, sighing out loud with the tiredness basically crushing you underneath itself. You had a pretty tiring day at your university today; classes at a longer stretch and much more boring than usual.

You hear the doorbell of your apartment ring before you can relax on your couch and take a proper breath. You walk back to the door and see your boyfriend River on the other side, smiling. 

“Oh hey River,” you give a tired smile. He leans in to press a kiss on your cheek. 

“You sound tired, you okay?” He asks, as you finally get to sit on your couch. You groan as you stretch and prop up your feet on your coffee table. 

“I'm fine, just a long day of classes today,” you say, yawning. You look up to see him standing next to you. “You're not going to sit?” 

“Uh, I was actually wondering if you'd want to spend the evening out, there is this art exhibit only for today and I really thought you'd like to go,” he says sheepishly. 

“Oh River,” you say, getting up, “I wish I could but I'm just so so tired, and the amount of assignments and readings I have to complete isn't helping at all,” 

“So you're just going to blow me off again?” 

His words take you by surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Last week you missed our date-”

“That was because I had to urgently go to my parents home, I told you that,”

“And the week before you didn't come to the carnival with me,”

“It was during mid terms week and I was really behind,” 

“And what about that one time I was planning to take you to this French restaurant but you didn't come?” 

“Zach was sick! He was at the hospital River, and that was the night his situation had gotten so much worse!” You say, completely exasperated. “This is too much right now, I've always had a reason to not come to our dates. What about that one time I wanted to take you to a dinner with my family and you blew me off and never even told me where you were?” 

“Wait that time I-”

“And do you even remember when you told me you were busy to have a movie night with me and then a friend told me you were actually at a party? Huh? I never avoid our dates if I don't have a big reason to miss them, but you miss them and don't even care to explain why you didn't come?” 

That shuts him up, because he's looking everywhere but you, his jaw clenched tightly. 

“I'm sorry River but I can't come with you today. I would like to rest and have an early start to my day tomorrow,” 

You can see he wants to say something; a lot of things actually - give you an earful, but he opts for the smarter choice and doesn't say anything, silently making his way out of your house. But he still needs to display the extent of his anger, so he slams the door loudly on his way out. 

You plop back on your couch, wanting to distract yourself with some movie. You get your tv remote and start to scroll through Netflix, trying to find something which attracts your eye, but your doorbell rings again, agitating you. 

You wonder if it's River again, but much to your surprise it's Zach, holding two completely filled take away bags. 

“I saw you leaving uni really late when I was at my football practice so I thought you may need these,” he chuckles. The brightest smile pulls your lips and you instantly hug him, catching him off guard but he hugs you back. 

“That's exactly what I needed right now,” you say, taking one bag from him and letting him in. 

You proceed to your kitchen to get plates and rest of the cutlery, but Zach stops you right in your tracks. 

“Ah let me do that, you go and sit,” he insists, taking the bag back from you. 

“Are you sure-”

“Yes yes, I know my way really well around here,” you giggle and go back to your couch, continuing your search for the perfect movie. 

In the meantime Zach brings the food and places it all in front of you, the aroma wafting up to your nose and making you feel hungrier. But you still haven't found what you want to watch. 

“Why is nothing attracting my eye?” You say, your mouth now full with food. 

“Why don't we just talk?” Zach suggests, and you ponder over it for a moment, realizing it is the better thing to do right now.

“Well, what do you want to talk about?” You ask, turning to face him as you fiddle around with the food on your plate with your fork. 

“Well, feel free to not answer this question,” he starts, “but I've been wondering about this for quite some time and I just want to let it out; I haven't seen you with River lately, usually you used to be hanging out with him so much, always on dates and uni’s football and basketball matches, but I just, I haven't seen you with him often,”

Your focus is completely on your food, the way each vegetable is placed on your plate suddenly becoming the most interesting thing. 

Zach wonders if he's messed up asking this question when he sees you completely shut off and silent. “I'm, I'm sorry, I don't want to ask you something you don't want to discuss, but I just need to know if you're happy with him or not. Nothing matters more than your happiness,” his voice reduces to a soft mumble, which only just relaxes you instead of making you feel anxious on having to discuss such a heavy topic. 

“It's, it's okay, I guess. I don't know… we've been trying to make plans but one of us usually has some other more important place to be. I always make sure to tell him why I can't come, and it's always something unavoidable, but he, he never cares to tell me why he won't be coming. It's just always ‘oh I'm sorry babe I just had to go somewhere else.’ Where? I never know. 

“And it's not just that. He always gets offended when I cancel on him but that's never the case when it's the other way round. His focus on us, it isn't, it isn't the same, and he isn't as understanding as he was before.”

Just as you finish speaking, you feel like a big load is lifted off of you. Your mind has been bothered by it since days ago, and it was starting to affect your everyday activities. But talking about it, letting it all out makes you feel relaxed. 

Zach looks at you with a soft look in his eyes, not knowing what you've been going through all this time. 

“But, he's also there for me, you know? That one time I fell down from the stairs, I called him and he came so quickly, and I know I can count on him to get me anything I need at any time,” you continue, feeling so torn about what you're actually feeling about him. “I just, I don't know where we are leading to right now. I think I may need some time away from him, just being with myself and not seeing him as often as usual,”

You look at Zach whose focus is entirely on you and your words. Sometimes you wish he's the one you're spending your time with. He gets you in a way no one can, not even River even if he tries for a billion years. When you feel sad about something, you prefer to call up Zach than River, because he listens to you better, and makes you feel important. 

“I think it would be nice for you to spend some time with yourself, to do some things you've thought of doing but couldn't, starting with new hobbies, or the ones you haven't picked up in some time,” Zach starts. “It'll help you introspect more into your personality, and generally just make you feel better. Maybe he's going through a difficult time right now, and being apart for some time might help him too,” 

“You're right,” you say, “maybe being apart will do us some good. I mean, he treats me well-”

"okay good for you,"

“- but Zach,” you look up at him as you cut him off, your eyes sinking into his, “he isn't you.” 

The last words come out as a whisper, getting lost in the air around you two. For a second you're worried that he didn't hear them, because you think you can't muster up the courage to repeat those words. But the widening of his eyes, him breaking your eye contact, and his sped up breathing makes you think differently. 

“Zach, you mean so much to me than he does. You listen to me better, you understand things in a way he doesn't. I will always prefer you to talk about things than him, because he tends to shut me off but you never do. What we have is so special to me,” you let out. 

It's the last year at your university, and you've been feeling this way about Zach since the very start. You've wanted to admit it all to him, but before you could, River came into the picture. And for a while there, you felt as if you didn't need Zach. River seemed perfect; everything you could've asked for. 

But now, you finally have the chance to develop something with Zach you've always wanted. 

Zach calls out your name softly, your heart beating faster with the way your name falls off his lips. “You mean the whole world to me. I’d take you in my arms and protect you from all the harm in this world if I could. I've never liked River anyways, he seems stuck up and doesn't give you the attention you deserve. He should treat you like an angel, not the way he actually does,”

He moves closer to you, his hand now resting against your cheek. 

This feels so right. 

You lean in, and he does too, meeting his lips halfway as you allow yourself to get lost in him; in his smell, his taste, his lips. 

Oh, his lips. 

Soft and sweet as nectar; nectar which can make the flowers bloom and just set everything in your life right. 

His arms, wrapped around your waist as he pulls you closer to him, yours around his neck as you close even the smallest distance between you two. 

He pulls apart from you, your forehead resting against his as you breathe a little heavily. 

“I think,” you whisper, “I think I've fallen for you Zach.”

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[cleromancy]

oracle year one born of hope from batman chronicles #5 (published 1996) is hands down the best defridging story ive ever read for a lot of reasons--the first being just that its such a damn good comic in the first place. but every time i read it im so struck by the way it reframes the casual *incidental* violence done to barbara in TKJ, where she's just an obstacle in the joker's way to get to jim (to get to batman) and it's not *about* her. on the very second page of OYO we have this:

the entire page (...minus bruce in the bg up there) is drawn from barbaras point of view while she recounts the incident from her hospital bed. literally recentering her and her perspective, her experience and her feelings. where TKJ sensationalizes and sexualizes the violence done to her we see an illustration of her choice--love for her father, "don't get up"--then the shock and pain of the injury, then the operating room.

and she opened the story with "i cant believe i was such an idiot," berating herself for not looking through the peephole or using the chain on the door before she opened it, emphasizing that she knew better, and its a very human response to being the victim of something like this--almost fixating on a small mistake you made. inside the story its about the grief and the sense of control bargaining gives you--"if only i had--!" and then on the meta level its actually addressing the "well why DIDNT barbara look through the peephole???" (<- the answer being that TKJ never considered whether or not she would have, bc that was less important to the story than hurting her.)

and the next page. god. its masterful:

the balance of OYO being a response to TKJ on a meta level and the genuine story-level exploration of barbaras feelings just in the first 3 pages alone... chefs kiss. the way it addresses the previous bullshit storytelling choices--but builds something new off of them, because that shouldn't be the end of barbaras story.

and its so fantastic bc it doesn't shy away from barbaras ugly feelings...

she's so angry and she's allowed to be. and thats also what makes it such a good defridging--that its a resonant portrayal of becoming disabled. anger, grief, humiliation, shame, fear, the absolute *slog* that is recovery, the realization that your independence has been compromised... it really reckons with what this means for her in that moment and moving forward.

just posting this one bc i love her...

and the crux of the story is barbara taking control back over her life, barbara not feeling helpless anymore. its a superhero origin story to its core and its fantastic at what it does.

and i mean... i do always feel iffy about this part:

the juxtaposition of her wanting to do this without batmans help with her, well, unknowingly accepting bruces help. makes seesaw motion with hand. i always feel like its a bit of a weak spot... i like elements of it, particularly *because* this work is addressing so much of TKJs bullshit; this is making bruce actually care about barbaras injury because fuck you he *should* care, he *should* do something. and barbaras need for independence and her struggles to accept help are pretty central to her character and in a story about disability... i mean interdependence is a core tenant of disability rights activism, no man is an island and all that. but btwn it being bruce who finds richard dragon for her to train with, and richard dragon both being yknow a man and not a wheelchair user himself, it falls flat. which is really something you notice bc the rest of the story is so damn good... its hard for me to put my finger on exactly what i think they should've done instead, bc they only had 18 pages for this story and like. it's incredibly tight, not a panel wasted, so it *was* important that barbaras teacher be someone we the reader already know, and there was no *time* to establish some other way for barbara to find someone of richard fucking dragons caliber on her own without bruces connections.

but that i guess does bring me to. the other thing i find frustrating re: OYO which is just that it's. 18 pages collected with two other stories, neither of which is memorable... i mean how many other year ones of a heavy hitter like barbara freakin gordon can you think of with less than a single full issue? and batgirl year one had 9 issues (9 mediocre, mediocre issues). i dont think OYO needed that much time (but hey neither did fucking bgyo)... but come on. come on!!!!!!

anyway whatever. oracle sweep