#i mean i could be wrong but i dont think i am lol

[kawaiibarty]

UMMM if this is not an intrusive question, could you pls explain the process of you transitioning? Like whatever made you feel you were with the wrong body? And how did it bother you sm? This is plain curiosity. If u wish pls help me understand.

ahhhh hi hi it's not intrusive at all!

so for me it was really something that took time for me to understand because i didn't know that people were allowed to feel different yk

when i was a child i wore boys clothes because it made me feel happy, during playtime i called dibs on the boy characters, my avatars in video games were exclusively male.

i felt really uncomfortable wearing certain things like skirts and certain shirts and even different types of shoes. my mom said i was really picky and difficult about it lol.

for a while i sort of started wearing skirts and stuff, around 11 to 13 yrs old but, idk it was an odd period for me. i just wanted to be someone my mother liked yk. anyway, for most of my schooling id been in an all girls school up until gr7 when i moved cross country and schools. this new school was co-ed and it was really weird because i felt excluded a lot of the time because i wasn't...yk i didn't act like most of the girls and the people i thought id fit in with didn't like the way i did things LOL. i just felt alienated and like an imposter because i wasn't doing....girl right? iykwim

then i went to highschool a year later and i was shoved back into an all girls class for two years where i realised i properly like girls, except i thought i was homophobic because i didn't like the lesbian label or the bisexual label even though id tried out both at some point. it was like, i know i like girls and i haven't liked a guy properly but that doesn't make me lesbian because...but what if it does because im a girl, right? (spoiler alert, i do like guys and i realised that i could use the label queer without it being a slur also cue asexuality)

anyway, i was introduced to non-binary and it was a reaaaal relief. im telling you, once i was seen as something that wasn't an uncomfortable little girl it was good. but it still didn't feel right so i toyed around with androgyny except i didn't like how uncertain it made me feel yk?

im not saying that people who are enby or androgynous are wholly uncertain but i didn't want to feel like a poseur because i KNEW what i wanted but i didn't know if it was real.

i dont remember when this happened but somebody introduced me to he/they and they/he pronouns and i grasped onto that and it was okay for a while. still didn't feel like i was going it right because i had long hair and wore skirts and was still called a girl or non-binary and i hated my name and everything about the uncertainty yk? like it just came back out of nowhere

then one day this little boy comes up to me, i kid you not it's a CORE MEMORY for me, but this kid approaches me and he's like "are you a boy or a girl" and i start panicking because im not a girl and i hate being a girl and im not a boy because...i mean i don't even look like one right? so i ask him "what do you think i am?" and he says, without even thinking about "you look like a boy. i think you're a boy." and

yk, ive never smiled so wide in my life. i told him "yeah you're right" and he FISTBUMPS ME and im all giddy and excited and i text my best friend @d-rxse and im like OMGOMG YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED DUDE anyway that was three years ago

then i got moved to a co-ed class

it kind of went to shit after that because as soon as i came out as trans i got a new boyfriend and he had never dated a trans person before so for a while he used he/they pronouns for me and we called each other boyfriends up until maybe april of last year where he told me he was uncomfortable with it

so i was an idiot and threw away all my progress and said "you can call me your gf and use they/them pronouns and she/her in front of your friends" and yeah 👍🏼 progress gone. down the drain.

i fixed it tho, by the end of last year i was so done with his bullshit, i broke up with him a week after school started this year, cut my hair short, changed my name, pronouns and got a new phone. cut him out of my life completely. ive never been happier

[jelliclekay]

What's the makeup theory

I mean it isn't really a "theory" as opposed to what I'm pretty sure is happening with the new updated Cats makeup designs.

(This only applies to the International Tour/Asia tour designs btw. The US tour makeup is based on the Broadway Revival designs which I don't have any strong opinions on, positive or negative. And I don't know what brand of makeup the US tour uses so I can't speak on that either)

But I do know what brand every other tour uses, and that'd Kryolan. It's also the same brand I use with my own cosplay. And I'm certain that the new basic designs and the more neutral grey palettes are simply due to makeup supply being dramatically decreased, especially black makeup.

Also, the new tours have switched from Kryolan TV Paint Sticks and Dermacolor (The type of makeup Vienna was using and Oasis is still using I'm pretty sure) to the Kryolan Supracolor grease paint, which is a much cheaper alternative to the Paint Sticks. Considering how much makeup they must go through, it makes sense they are going with the cheaper alternatives rather than the more pricey but better fit for the stage makeup.

Also the lack of colors especially with the queens is again I assume just them trying to save on how much money they have to spend on makeup and how often they would have to buy more makeup.

Like... it sucks. It really sucks. But there isn't much to be done about it.

(Also interesting that Oasis which seemingly has a budget of like... 5 dollars is still buying the higher quality stuff which makes it even funnier when I hear people call Oasis "cheap looking")

[pup-pee]

y does it feel so SO wrong 2 share ur opinion???

[tokencisgirl]

i'm not sure if i really want more online friends outside of the people already inside my circle atp honestly because tldr; Discourse

[mbat]

i fr need some sort of (probably queer) friend into world of warcraft so that the person i directly talk to about it isnt my brother. cause on my life his opinions suck and his gameplay kills me a little inside

[dimonds456]

I have a lot of mixed feelings about MatPat.

On the one hand, he definitely has a streak of bigotry. The pyro episode really comes to mind on that one, and his refusal to they/them Kris was also not cool, and there have been a lot of other examples here and there.

But he has been getting better. One of his Livestream hosts uses they/them from what I can tell, and I haven't heard any word that he's misgendered them anywhere.

But also, his theories have just been getting lower and lower quality as his channels kinda turned into something one step below a content farm. His Digital Circus theory, for example, he came up with ON GTLive and then just cleaned it up for the episode.

But he was also hosting all four channels. Each channel will have its own host now.

He made a lot of mistakes, but so does everyone.

Am I defending him? I dont know. Do I forgive him? No. Do I honestly care? ...I don't know.

I'm glad he's stepping away. But I'm also gonna miss him.

Like he said in the goodbye video, he was a lot of peoples childhoods. Mine was one of them. He's definitely not the best person nor was he the best influence, but he did help me realize that being a nerd and being passionate are good things. And his passion helped me want to create.

I'm glad he's leaving, but it also feels like my childhood is going with him. One last step towards that all-encompassing 21 in a few months from now.

I'll miss you, Mat. I hope you can continue to grow as a person and support others more in the future. Teach your son what the world failed to teach you when you were younger.

Also read the tags, please, okay Tumblr? Thanks.

[ittybittybumblebee]

how do you know if ur masking or not. or if you just dont come off as Different enough and your normal state is compatible enough with stupid social rules once you learn to understand Why theyre done so u do them and have no issue except exhaustion from interaction

[piplupod]

shoutout to the time i thought juggalos were just a random type of clown in the same way rodeo and pierrot is, and I off-handedly mentioned them in a conversation about clowns to one of my DQ managers when I worked there, and she fucking lost her mind laughing and I was like. damn. I didn't think my joke was THAT funny but okay. and then I never looked up what a juggalo actually was until just last year, like four years after I'd stopped working at that place 🧍

[dullahandyke]

Oh also I've figured out why I jive w calling myself a neckbeard so much n I think its bcos of the reclamation of it all. Like 'neckbeards' r mocked and belittled as unmanly, repulsive, and perverted, and while I certainly understand the archetype and the reason why the men it targets (violent gamergaters and so on) need to be scrutinised, I keep getting hung up on the fact that they are near unanimously represented by an image of a fat man with a neckbeard and struggling hygiene. Many of the traits that I see in my myself are used as visual shorthand for bigotry, and are used to inspire disgust in those watching. The reality of the matter is that men of all appearances are guilty of perpetuating bigotry, harassment, and violence, and by pinning our imagery on those we deem ugly, we only reinforce older ideas of what a man should and should not be (ugly, fat, nerdy). Even in liberal spaces, this imagery is proliferated near and far (cough cough ironic soyjak), and whenever I see it, it is a reminder that in a lot of people's views, appearance does reflect morality. I will defend neckbeards to the grave, certainly not because of their politics or character, but because I hate to see people falling into the same traps of appearance-based evil which can be used to draw a line to bigotry.

Like, I'm a fat slob of a girlboy, and my beard hasn't yet graduated to my cheeks, but still I adore it. Despite my adoration of it, however, when I look long and hard at myself in the mirror, I see soyjak and people making fun of the amish for not shaving and every stereotype of the gross fat nerd. My facial hair will one day be more typically attractive, and I'll have that coveted gentleman-lady appeal, but until then, it sets me apart even in genderfuck spaces when I see people laughing at Emperor Nero not for his atrocities but for his chinstrap.

I don't know where I'm going for this. Fuck it, I am dirty and gross and perverted, and the fuck are you going to to about it? When I buy an oppai mousepad, it'll be a lesbian win operating on so many levels of subverted norms that it'll make someone's brain explode and it'll make me very happy.

[paperhats-and-evil-schemes]

Hi Mark! I just wanted to say that I hope you're still doing okay and taking care of yourself, and I hope you know how appreciated you are! <3 You're one of (if not the top) nicest people in the fandom, you're like the only person who consistently leaves nice tags on my art haha, so I just wanted to make sure you knew your kindness doesn't go unnoticed! (I know you're probably taking a mental health break or something right now so you can delete this if you want instead of replying, of course! I just wanted to give back some positivity for my favourite positivity goblin! <3)

Don't worry hun, I didn't get any of that impression from your first ask, lmao. I was indeed taking a bit of a break, as I had been hit with one of them unpredictable waves of crippling depression for a few weeks lol, but I am feeling better now! And I do have tons of cool art I need to queue up, that's for sure, WHY DOES EVERYBODY DRAW VILLAINOUS CHARACTERS SO GOOD, TEACH ME YOUR SECRETS

[mazojo]

What's yuri's personality then? Being gay?

About Minho, being mean and making mean two liners towards Kitty every in between?

ma'am this is a McDonalds drive thru

[widevibratobitch]

.

[freebooter4ever]

That guy in his twenties who tried to flirt with me at that party one time is getting into those AI art generators - and i dont know about anyone else but my insta feed is putting that shit on the TOP like i have seen more AI art than my close friends posts -_-

ANYWAY this guy's aI thing was extremely pretty, like ridiculously unusually so, it had me scrolling through a few other photos in his page. And i had a weird moment when i realized he is in fact an actor, and also very good looking (my type? Abundant curly hair? Big eyes? I dont think i have a type), and there is a chance that if i hadnt met him and had just seen him in a movie or something he might be the kind of person who'd be the next drawing phase. Los angeles is weird.

well, no, IM weird. I dont draw people i know and i dont want to meet the people i draw \o/ (with the exception of hiker boy)

[donttellthemangosiwashere]

Tierlist made by @intrulogical

[subhiscoop]

why does everything. Everything depend on my relations with people?

[mrfoox]

I'm going to struggle to sleep and get up tomorrow

Curse it all