#i love when wiki people are deranged

[lemonycranberries]

of course “gregory house (soulmate)” is listed under “lovers” on wilson’s page on the house md wiki. of course it is

[uraniumbones]

For those of you keeping up with the book of Bill and it's accompanying website and the bill cypher backstory. THE PARALLELS GOT ME FUCKED UP.

Spoilers incoming.

people love to talk about the dynamic between Stanford and Bill. Sure, interesting. But you know what people aren't talking about? Stanley and Bill. Specifically referencing the website (thisisnotawebsotedotcom.com)

If you input Stanley a bunch it will eventually open a new document instead of eBay pages. The page mocks Stanley and reveals his secrets or whatever. One of the clickable options on this page is "HOW HE BEAT ME". Each time you click into this is an increasingly deranged meltdown about how it shouldn't have been possible. Calling him a "cheap trick loving, past-denying overgrown child protected from failure only by a force field of denial and shamelessness" among other things. And when further pressed accuses you of acting like "those PREACHY INFANTILIZING AUTOMOTONS AT THE THERAPRISM who are SO OBSESSED with getting me to TALK about my "FEELINGS"." After that he spirals further eventually talking about "how much pain I'm in" and only in code admitting "I can still see through the eyes of everyone I've ever..." presumably killed.

If you don't know shit about Euclydia read the wiki page on it, it's not long. tldr Euclydia is bills home dimension, which he destroyed and killed every single inhabitant of in blood and fire. He did so (accidentally?) in an attempt to show them the third dimension which (because of a genetic mutation) only he had the ability to see (with his eye). Please also note when Stanford asks about his home dimension Bill says it was"destroyed by a monster".

In the website's many documents it repeatedly makes reference to Bill's parents and how much they loved him, his home, his childhood (he wore velcro sneakers it's actually incredibly cute), the ways in which he was different and not easily accepted.

Now knowing all these things. A pattern may emerge to you. Are you seeing it? Are you seeing the patterns yet?

Obviously Bill hates Stanley because he's stupid and still he somehow beat Bill. That's annoying, maddening even. But I believe it goes beyond that. He hates him all the more passionately because Stanley reminds him of himself. The poem at the end of the Stanley password on the website summarizes it best "always dragged his family down / One mistake, disowned, denied, / only thing to do was hide." Destruction of his own family, running and hiding from his own mistakes. "Reinvent, retry, reload" trying again in a new life. "When your actions make it worse, / When they see you as a curse," Making things worse where you have tried to make them better. "Give the wheel one last spin, / Take your chips and go all in" this is what weirdmagedon was for both of them. and this is where their lives differ "And lucky stan- the rolls on black, / he got his life and family back. / His big break it finally came, / Redemption from a life of shame." AND THERE IT IS. Stanley got his family back. Bill didn't. (Which is what it seems he was attempting). Stanley got his redemption. Bill didn't.

Stanley was a lonely kid fuck up just like Bill was. And he absolutely hates Stanley's guts for it because he hates his own guts for it. And all this time they're the same, just trying to fix those mistakes, to have their family back again, to be loved again. They both have this facade of untouchable aloof levity, the same insults Bill hurls at Stanley may as well be hurled at himself. "Protected from his failure only by a force field of denial and shamelessness"? "Cheap trick loving, past denying overgrown child"? You can see Bill goes from being outraged and insulting Stanley, to denying a deeper meaning to those feelings (and calling you a therapist), to talking about how much pain he is in (seemingly over all the people he killed in Euclydia), all without any specific prompting. Just pushing. Bill is the one that connected those things. Bill hates Stanley (at least partially) as an act of self hatred. Because he has made the same mistakes and can never forgive himself for them. AND (at least partially) because Stanley is not only just like him, but now just like him if he had succeeded. Stanley got his "Redemption from a life of shame". and in so doing actively prevented Bills.

Now do you see what I'm saying about THE PARALLELS?!

[teriteriteriteriteri]

random thoughts on penacony because it instantaneously became on of my favorite quests in anything ever:

Love that Sunday's character is set up to tackle one of the most central questions in all philosophy: why do people fight for their servitude? His answer? Because they are weak. In act 1 and 2 of his opera video essay to try to convince us of his views, we see people who are liberated physically and materially, but still enslaved mentally. Sunday's ideal paradise then envisions a world where you ARE imprisoned, but you believe wholeheartedly in your freedom. So freedom is good, but those who gain freedom tend to run back to their chains. It is both the weak and the strong that perpetuate the cycle. What's interesting is that Sunday does not believe an all perfect god can solve this issue either. A true benevolent god is concealed, self sacrificing, and is fundamentally human.

Will try to sum up some of his core tenets later, and try to pinpoint where it falls apart.

Lots of parallels with Kevin, of all people. His god complex is nothing like Otto, who is fundamentally selfish.

They really distilled all the interesting things about religion (read: paradise, need for the world to adhere to human logic and whim) and put it inside of an unsettling young priest.

Love Sunday's dramatic reenactment of his philosophy. The reality tv show moral dilemma, the dramatic philosophical reenactment of Penacony's history. The final fight taking place in the grand theatre. The fact that for him this is a philosophical war, he wants to win people over by proving he's right, and he has thoroughly broken down and put together his entire thought process in hopes of it being foolproof. EASILY my favorite villain.

I feel like getting at least a CG or something of the siblings' planet getting nuked would have given Sunday's arc the final push it needed to fully shine. You can only get to those levels of deranged only when witnessing insurmountable terrors, and for us to truly understand, I feel like we needed to be shown it, as opposed to merely being told what happened.

The bookend with Acheron's questions is just, absolutely perfect. We begin with questions and by the end of the quest we emerge with resolute answers. I LOVE it.

Acheron serving as a foil for the entirety of Penacony's themes.

I need to replay it so badly, but its way to fucking long. I will reread the whole thing when it gets transcribed in the wiki or something. more thoughts WILL be had.

[f0xgl0v3]

I need to rant about my favorite characters and how I’ve characterized them, and my Camp Jupiter/ PJO Romans are-Imagining-

*Correction; I just rant about Octavian from HoO the entire time; I’ll post an Luke one and a Jason one and some other characters maybe later. Along with those Camp Jupiter things.

Guys this is written stream of consciousness (I think); so sorry :[ (I also kind of project of these characters but that’s what happens with faves)

Octavian-

My boy- my darling little guy. I love this little deranged war criminal; uncle Rick did him dirty; he was used as the butt of the jokes (like many of the Romans, I’m doing an entire Camp Jupiter re-imagining that I’ll probably post here) but he was a plot device too- but I love my guy. He’s poorly written (in my unprofessional opinion) he doesn’t have any characterization other than “I don’t like the Greeks, they aren’t cool >:[“ and I’ll be honest; I like Rome better (I am biased) but after we get a character written like Luke Castellan (I know- I know we aren’t supposed to like him, but like- cmon, hear me out) where he’s written pretty well in my opinion, with a clear tragic story and motivation. Octavian feels like a very watered down more comedic Luke; in the worst way. But I; as someone who needs as much information on something as I can and I’m not satisfied with just that, have scanned through the wiki; looked at all of his scenes and giggled in his general direction, and this is my head-canons (and probably art too let’s be honest) on the little guy

Octavian Cesaer-

My boy is 100% mixed in my heart. In my brain his father is Black and his mother is white.

BIG family; my man’s is the 8th out of 9 children (Julia; THAT Julia is also his younger sister. I saw that head canon somewhere and snatched it)

He has a really good and close friendship with Michael Kahale; they are genuinely good friends, and Octavian enjoys his presence

(In my Camp Jupiter AU, re-imagining? Idk- but in the thing, I’m re-searching actual Roman legion structure and rankings, etc. because from characterization of the Romans they would not be up to change anything about the legion) but Octavian’s working to try and rise up to the most important role (Praetors aren’t the most important position in my brain for the re-imagined) and only supported Jason’s name change idea begrudgingly is because that would make him Primus Pilus; and he wanted the promotion. (This headcanon may change once I continue to fiddle with how I want to interpret C.J)

Cannot keep his hair legion-regulation, Octavian has a rough love-hate relationship with the hair. He *really* does not appreciate it at times. It’s overgrown and pushed to the left.

I like to think of my Octavian (Octavian 2: electric bogaloo) as being somewhere on the Autism spectrum. It’s another head-cannon I adopted somewhere and have just clung onto. It tickles the right part of my brain.

Knows everything about Rome; like actually. And Troy; he really liked the Aenead(?) when he was younger, if anyone asked his favorite Trojan was Hector (it was totally Andromache, he felt really bad for her. And sobbed during Hector’s farewell. Yes I am somewhat projecting).

His family pressured him a lot into his roles, he does genuinely like his Augur role.

This man lives and breathes the legion. Genuinely loves his home and wants to protect it; just ends up coming off as kind of paranoid.

He didn’t get much attention as a kid (with his 8 other siblings) so he tries really hard for his voice to be heard and over-explains and tries to be very clear when he’s wanting to get his message across. Most people interpret him (as said MANY times in the books) as kind of desperate to be listened to and a little whiny

Really takes his rules seriously and doesn’t like when people don’t follow him. There has been a many ‘but that’s not fair >:[‘ with my little guy.

Octavian is a REGULAR at the build-a-bear in Berkeley. He mostly uses them for Auguries when he needs something fresher. But he does sometimes keep them (he impulsive buys anytime they have a bird one, he also literally stayed up refreshing the website when he saw the, “Wolf Pup build-a-bear online exclusive” and was one of like the first people to buy it.

https://www.buildabear.com/wolf-pup/029368.html (the plush in question if anyone wants a visual)

He bleaches his hair. That’s it :] I’m un-equipped to try and talk about a hairstyle I think he has because I am not the person to talk about black hairstyles without making a fool of myself. Though he does really like Hair rings, he thinks their a cool way to have some nice casual looking added bling to his usual outfits

This man wears majority of Hand-me-downs. Those shirts SWAMP him because his older brothers just had to be good archers

On that note about Archery- Octavian sucks at archery but is pretty good with other long-ranged weapons. Any spear/javelin/pole arm and he’s got it (based off of him being able to spear Gwen, from what I think was a ways away) and I’d like to think if the situation is dire he can throw his dagger pretty well.

He’s currently got the strongest prophetic powers in his family; and his family (I think this is mentioned somewhere- I dunno it’s late) goes back to being related to Augustus Caesar (the guy)

Isn’t a good artist. He doesn’t like not being good at anything artistic when he has things he really does want to paint or draw that don’t come out how he wants them to.

Octavian has problems with anger, totally. Stabbing stuffed animals isn’t really a good method to let out anger

People don’t give him enough credit for his part on the raid of mount Tam; sure Jason did the whole ‘topple Kronos’s black throne’ (which is a genuine achievement that Jason deserves and I love him-) but he also led the first cohort to battle against majority of the monsters; the first cohort were the first ones to storm of course-

I love him he’s so silly and goofy <3 uhhhhh. He’s also a people pleaser

He has a disappointed-mother-resting face.

Does the thing with the nose bridge pinching way too much.

He tugs on his hair when frustrated or annoyed or anything.

That’s all for now :3, I just wanted to get some of that out there. If anyone does pay attention to this account my next posts are probably going to be either Octavian art, more Calliope design things, or more likely stuff on my Re-imaging of Camp Jupiter/New Rome as someone with Ancient Rome as a special interest I really want to make my version of Camp Jupiter

[skitskatdacat63]

super obsessed with your art, seb looks soooooooooooo stunning!!! I am now very curious however, only if you feel like going into it, as to which other historical figures you align with which drivers?👀👀

AAAAAA tysm Grace!!!! Though I am so so so sorry for how rambly and long this post is gonna be, but you just asked me abt one of my brainrots!! I will answer your question but also talk about my history alignments and AUs in general LOL

But if I'm making comparisons of F1 drivers and historical figures, my brain kinda forces me to make it an AU because I'm like "this needs to make absolute sense historically and contextually.)

So, tbh of the four historical AUs that float around my brain, only two of them are really specifically about certain historical figures. The four are: Nandopoleon(About how Fernando reminds me of Napoleon), War of Spanish Succession(mostly about that era, but Seb and Nando are supposed to be paralleling Charles VI and Philip V), Napoleonic Hussars(which is about how , in general, Hussars = F1 drivers), and Rennaissance Muse(this just happens to take place in a different era.)

Explaining my AUs and the historical contexts(proceed with caution, its a lot)

Nandopoleon:

Okay so I'm really really am so deranged about Napoleon = Fernando, but I’ve not posted about it too much because I wanna make a well thought out post about it. But basically I think they’re similar people with similar characteristics and motivations. There was this period of time over the summer where I was only brain rotting about how well any of Napoleon’s quotes fit Fernando(with my fellow nandopoleon confidant @/sweatyflytrap haha.) Here’s some quotes as example: 

“Victory belongs to the most persevering.”

“It is not necessary to bury the truth. It is sufficient merely to delay it until no one cares.”(Piasco era lol)

“Victory is not always winning the battle…but rising every time you fall.”

“From triumph to failure is only one step.”

"A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon."(trophies y'know)

"Always carry champagne! In victory you deserve it, and in defeat you need it!"

Tell me Fernando wouldn't use these as instagram captions! TELL ME!!! But the other thing that was driving me crazy is how well excerpts from the personality/image section of Napoleone's wiki line up with testimonials from Fernando's doc. Examples:

"He cheated at cards, but repaid the losses; he had to win at everything he attempted."(Napoleon) "Whatever activity I take part in, I have this compulsion to find the compeititon in it."(Fernando)

"He could rapidly dictate a series of complex commands to his subordinates, keeping in mind where major units were expected to be at each future point, and like a chess master, 'seeing' the best plays moves ahead"(Napoleon) "When you talk to him, his mental capacity is so strong. He's talking to you, but his brain is thinking ahead"(Fernando)

Like c'mon tell me they aren't at least a bit similar??? There's a lot else I find similar about them but I cannot list my whole manifesto here skdjlsd

Anyways this AU would be Fernando as Napoleon and would be Webbonso -> Strollonso. Basically, Napoleon had two wives: his first wife, who was older than him and who he was super in love with, but had to divorce because they couldn't have kids, but he still loved her deeply. And then his second wife , who was much younger thanhim and from the Austrian royal family, and this was a politically motivated marriage but they still got on pretty well!!(also it's funny, before she married him she didn't want to be with him because the public perception of him made him out to be not the best guy, but then she wrote to her father about how loving and kind he was. very Strollonso, no?)

War of Spanish Succession:

Mostly explained it here and here. I'm not too interested in either Philip V nor Charles VI themselevs as individuals, but rather the roles they fufill in the "story." Though I will say, I got hit with a brick while reading Charles VI's wiki when finding out that he apparently had several male lovers! So I guess my AU having an arranged m/m marriage isn't even that far off the mark hahaha. Why did they have a 13 year war, they should have just arranged a marriage between the two canidates sigh sigh. But yeah, mostly Austria vs. Spain, I think it fits well with the Vettonso rivalry!! They would end up being: Fernando I King of Spain and Sebastian I Holy Roman Emperor hehe. Also I sketched some more:

Napoleonic Hussars:

Explained here as well as with art, and more art here. I'm really still proud of the points I made, I just feel very ardently about it!!! Not about any specific figure, but rather a historical group that I think lines up extremely well with F1 drivers. But this one is fun cause I can kinda insert any driver into it and they'll work pretty well. It's fun to figure out what kingdom what driver would be, either based off their nationality or the nationality of their team. I remember vividly staring at a map from this era trying to figure out where Maranello would be....But like Renault = Kingdom of France and RBR = Kingdom of Austria, and stuff like that

Rennaisance Muse:

Mostly just this post, I've not thought about this one incredibly deeply. Mostly just brainrot about how I think Seb looks like The David with his curly hair

[ilhoonftw]

Wait I remember your post a while back abt Kim Søøhyun being a creep... the thing is I'm following a couple of old drama accounts on twt that are almost, like, militant about keeping track of who in the industry is a freak (which is useful for normies like me who only got into dramas in the last couple of years and assume a guy is fine if he doesn't have a controversy/legal issues section in his wiki 😐) but they are soo preachy and condescending about it like, how can you not know that x did y  z years ago, and you google it and there's one (1) article in english about it from like 2016 and no follow-up so to know about it you either have to have been around when it was published or to Google the name of every actor you start to like + SA/misogyny etc., which is insane to expect from casual viewers tbh. Anyway, these same people are soo annoying abt ksh like, they've decided they like him 10 yrs ago and nothing is changing that and now with picture kim sąeron published the way they are speaking about her is making my skin crawl. Like I'm not about to defend her about the dui or anything but being a shitty person (and most likely unwell in general) doesn't  mean she can't have been groomed. They are speaking like she's some loser bitch envious of his great success, publishing old (allegedly) pics to stir shit etc. (also I don't think they realise the older the pic is, the worse it looks for him cuz she's still 23 but whatever) And i realise I'm biased because I don't enjoy his acting so learning that he's a creep just put me off him completely but It's just crazy to me how selective they are about who gets condemned and who gets a poor guy treatment. Like they'll let you know about some dude playing a secondary role in a 2010 weekend drama being a misogynist but when it comes to ksh, crickets.

Also this is just me being insane but I think his agency purposefully threw the crąsh coųrse in rømąnce kids under the bus for dating to take the heat off him and just when the girlie was getting positive attention for pyrąmid game...

I also just hope queenie kjw, whom I LOVE doesn't get dragged in the mess..

Anyway I just realised how deranged the wall of text I just wrote sounds but like, I think you would get it...

yooo i get it 100% anon

ksh fans scare me... he's not even that good of an actor to be worth the praise and defense he gets like be honest... even that bottled water mountain scandal or real movie being a trainwreck didn't kill his value in the public eye. or that strange 'dudes in trunks' photoshoot... can't post it bc tumblr already once flagged my post for it lmao

a lot of old sites and blogs that were around before allkpoop kboo soompi became the main "news sources" are... gone. and unless the articles was reposted, it's impossible to even find using wayback machine because you still need the url. i hate having to go on omonatheydidńt to find old articles but weirdly enough it became an archive. you can go and look up netixenbuzz but she (i was there gandalf when netixenbuzz would do livestreams and said she got sacked from allkpoop etc etc) would never post the article itself, just the reaction. and often cherrypicked comments. it's not like the format of translating comments was new, you had blogs like majide2ch translate whole 2chąn threads, un-gatekeeping gossip non-japanese speakers would've missed otherwise. or sites like chinasmack / japancrush / koreabang that would have both article and netizen comments. tbh there was a time when kpopkfąns or netixenbuzz were the first to post about 'this celeb sucks and here's why' in english bc previously 1. there was no interest 2. foreigners wouldn't go on korean forum sites. back in the day english speakers would have that one onehallyu (iirc) thread with 'hyuną was pregnant with jyp baby but jąy park took the blame and they were both fired' and threads where people were making shit up, confusing fanfic with real life

like i'm not the prude police i'm just someone who worked with weirdos irl and acting is a profession that's just... full of people that are asses to others on purpose bc production cant go on without the lead actor... if i can avoid watching anything with that type of people, i will.

you can't defend kim saę rom's dui but at the same time you can't deny some korean celebs weirdly enough rehabilitated their image even after multiple duis all while she became persona non grata right away... she didn't have the easiest time being in the spotlight since very young age. i remember she used to get hate for about anything. or how one of her school friends posted a photo of them allegedly having underage drinking party??? and mómoland nancy was involved in that bc it was the same friend group

kjw needs better costars fr... since fight for my way i only half-watched my liberation notes 🫣 ngl you would have to pay me to watch a jcw or ksh drama. if she were to act again with psj i would skip it too... sorry!!!

kjw got heat for that property tax avoidance scheme but technically it was legal and tbh whenever i see how much celebs paid for seoul buildings... given they get the scoop before regular people what's worth putting money in (but after the rich rich and mob lmao)... that's an ugly and small building. usually.

sorry it took me like a year to reply i had this reply in my drafts and kept forgetting to finish and hit post

[not-charley]

All the grumpuses 1

1 - My first impression of them

oooh alright this'll be fun ! basing this off of memory bc tbh i dont remember a lot of my first impressions lol

(putting a cut bc this is gonna be long lol)

[og post]

Filbo - When i first saw him i was like "YES I LOVE YOU" not gonna lie bc im a big fan of silly characters like him-- and I do relate to him! A lot! I kin him actually. And I thought he was going to be my favorite but well. Times changed and he isn't lol but I still really like him :)) silly

Wambus - not gonna lie when i saw his design i was like "Oh you're the babygirl of the group aren't you" and I honestly thought more people would be talking about him in a certain manner. That is all. Also I had a feeling he had marital issues he seemed like the type

Beffica - Not gonna lie I never hated her. When I saw her design I was scared she was gonna be one of those annoying brat characters but she turned out to be so so sooo much more and i LOVE her so much now she's one of my favorites. Her side quest is my favorite one too bc it just felt really fun seeing what the others are doing-- plus i relate to her to some extent

Gramble - He is so teeny tiny I remember wanting to kick him like a soccerball but at the same time I figured he would be.. how do you put this, deranged? to some degree. And the "THAT'S WHY YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU" line threw me SOOOO off guard i immediately went like HUH. Honestly thought I'd like him more though because of his love for animals but I don't think about him that much unfortunately so (but he IS the little hampster guy ever)

Wiggle - UNFORTUNATELY I DISLIKED HER AT FIRST. I was honestly interested in her but like I remember thinking she sucked because she manipulated Gramble but I have moved soo far past that and now I think she's amazing. I remember getting pissed at her so much that I turned her into sushi (without knowing that bugsnax are parasites mind you) (also i still have the text between me and my friend showing them me doing that)

Cromdo - Never was too big on him tbh. At first I HATED him but now I changed and think he's really silly. I don't really have much to say other than that tbh. Also tube dance man 10/10

Triffany - I saw her and immediately diagnosed her with autism. My opinions on her didn't change much tbh I thought of her as one of the nicest grumpuses out there and she IS

Chandlo - Ok this guy was the first one I saw first outside of the game bc I remember going to Eggabell's wiki page and seeing she loved Chandlo and clicked on his icon and thinking he was SO UGLY (/lh) and I was scared to meet him but then I did and I immediately changed my mind and thought he was cool as hell !!! I still love him now also the balls jokes made me giggle a lot

Snorpy - Believe it or not I. Didn't care for him much at first. I found him interesting and silly but that was it I didn't think about him much until like a month later. Also I got pissed at him for faking our hug and putting a fucking tracking device on me like goddamn!!!!!!!!!! OH ALSO when i saw him for the very first time i was like "Oh people are gonna be shipping Chandlo and you together aren't they" and had no idea it was gonna be canon bc i expected Lizegg to be one-off rep. Turns out I was very wrong and Bugsnax is SO MUCH BETTER than i initially expected buying the game

Floofty - When I first saw them at Shimmering Springs I thought of Melvin Sneedly from Captain Underpants and thats all im gonna say. also one of the best designs in the game

Shelda - Ok so when it came time to get either Floofty or Shelda back to Snaxburg I saw Shelda's icon and I was like "Ooh pretty flower girl!" and went after her first and she turned out to be this old ass vegan woman with back problems and oh my god her main quest was SO DIFFICULT for me. still like her though :V meemaw

Eggabell - I loved her character sm and I still do !!! When I first saw one of the tapes I really like how they portrayed her depression and I really like her whole thing with wanting to keep up with lizbert. Also girlboss

Lizbert - I remember being soo so excited to meet her only to find out she was going to be mean to me :( /lh I always knew she was gonna be one of my favorites. Such a goofy adventure girl!!!!!!

Unfortunately can't remember my first impressions of Clumby and Alegander but I always felt like something was off about Alegander (also triplicate space puzzles kinda hurt my head)

[littlemisslol-fic]

did u make up Socria? I've seen it mentioned in other fics but idk if they're just tributes to you. I also mentioned it in my ella enchanted au as a tribute if it is from you 👉👈👀💕

Dhfjsf I did yeah, I learned my lesson from dealing with Bayangor in Rowboats--I have a bad tendency to just go off the wiki for my lore and totally forget certain things because I'm too busy going feral with my worldbuilding LMAOOOO

But yes, long story short Socria is somewhere I made up for SO to avoid the headache of contradicting canon lol, but absolutely if yall want to use it you can go for it!! I find it super flattering when someone drops a lil reference, consciously or not

(Like I've seen people using "by the Maker" with Hugo and I can't help but smile like hehe that's my fault)

BUT ALSO AYO I LOVE THE ELLA ENCHANTED AU it's so cute 🥺🥺 (and if yall haven't read it yet you REALLY SHOULD because it's some good food oh my god) but AYO REALLY?? That's so dope omg 🥰🥰 thank you for that!! Like I said I get all butterfly-in-the-tummy when someone takes the time to incorporate some of my deranged rambling in their own work

[joheun-saram]

Whenever, Wherever (jhs)

Summary- Hoseok is a time traveller but that’s not the strangest thing that has happened to him. The strangest thing is when he meets a girl he’s never seen and she tells him he’s her best friend.

word count- 6.7k

pairing- timetraveler!Hoseok x Reader 

rating- R

genre- angst, fluff, smut

warnings- car accident, mention of parental death, mention of miscarriage, major character death, description of gun shot wound (but not gory), explicit smut (unprotected lovey dovey sex), hoseok pukes a lot (soz babe ily)

a.n- Ahhh I finally finished my Secret Santa fic for @thebtswritersclub! I’m so excited to reveal that I’m indeed @baepsaetan‘s secret santa 🎅🏼Day did you guess I was your ss? Did you like me subtly asking you questions about this during our sprints? hehehe! Happy new year, love! 💕

For people who can guess, this was inspired by the Doctor, River relationship and is loosely based on the Time Traveller’s Wife (eventhough I straight up have never seen the movie and literally only read the wiki page 🥴)

A huge thank you to Bella @hobisbeautifulass​ for beta reading for me! I’m sorry I made you cry at work!

As always feedback appreciated, a reblog and a like goes a far way. Send me an ask! 💌

-

The day his mother passed away was when Hoseok discovered his gift. 

Stranded by himself in a large suburban park in the middle of the night, there was an eeriness surrounding the dark expanse of road. There were no cars, no streetlights, and no solace to be found on the edge of the wooded trail he stood before. His heart was still racing, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he remembered seeing the blinding lights of the trailer in front of him just moments ago, his mother’s voice ricocheting through his head. He didn’t understand how he got here, and how the loud honks and screeches of tires had fallen to give way to this deafening silence.In the distance, he hears footsteps. The crackle of crushed leaves echoing in the air as he sees a man with dark hair, dressed in a large black sweater and a pair of blue ripped jeans, step forward. In the eight years he had lived thus far he had never been as terrified. The man lifted his arm as if to reach out towards him, and Hoseok closed his eyes tight, wishing he could run away.

Before he knew what happened, he was lying in his bed under his warm, colorful duvet. He rubbed his eyes, his heart still pounding and feeling an overwhelming urge to vomit. He thought it was a dream till his father entered with a tear-streaked face to let him know about his mother’s fatal accident.

That was the first time he time traveled, but it wouldn’t be the last. He didn’t know why he could do it. He didn’t know how he could control it. All he knew was that he was drawn to certain places, certain times. It was never when he wanted, like the first time when he wished he could go back to a few hours and not be greedy for ice cream so his mother would not have to drive him. Or the time he wished he could go back to tell his grandmother he loved her. Or the time in university where he wished he had never got caught cheating and lost his scholarship.

For being a time-traveler Hoseok’s life was full of regrets but the one thing he would never regret was meeting her.

-----------

For most people time is linear. There is the past, the present, and the future. But for Hoseok, time is a tangled mess, a convoluted web of events that he can only watch unfold. Never having the power to control where he ends up, Hoseok felt helpless, like his life was a punchline for the universe. All through his life, he would wind up at weird places at weird times. He would never know how long he would be there before being zapped back to whenever he came from.

Hoseok was twenty-five, he was single, he was a music producer, but most of all, he was tired. Lately, his time jumps were too frequent, going from happening once a year or so to once every few weeks. He would find himself in odd places at odd times, sometimes it was a quaint suburban street at dawn, other times a posh private school at midnight. All to stay there for seconds before zapping in his bed, as usual, his entire day lost, nausea bitting at his throat.

“Hoseok? Oh my god! It’s really you!” The new barista at his favorite coffee shop squealed when he made it to the front of the line, jarring him from his thoughts as he aimlessly scrolled through his Instagram, trying to decipher if he missed out on anything important. He looked at her, dressed cutely in a yellow sundress with the establishment's blue and gold apron on her waist. Her hair was loose around her face, her smile brilliant, as she looked at him with excitement. She was beautiful and it took Hoseok a few moments to stop himself from his shameless ogling.

“I’m sorry, do we know each other?” he asked, confused. He would have remembered if he ever saw her. She looked pretty unforgettable. Maybe she was one of Yoongi's friends, although something tells him Yoongi would find her sunshine persona offputting.

“Yeah! You’re my best friend!” She pointed at him, as his mouth dropped. Okay, so she was crazy. Great...

“Uh…” Hoseok didn't really know how to answer that, so he decided to follow his gut and just ignore her comment. “I’m sorry. Can I just order?”

“Vanilla latte, no whip, half sugar coming right up!” She beamed as she wrote on the cup, leaving him dumbfounded.

“How did you…?”

“Told you! You’re my best friend!” She pranced away to make his drink, as he stood there confused. When she returned, she handed him a drink and Hoseok could do nothing more than smile half-heartedly as he walked away. Did he have a stalker?

He decided not to visit that coffee shop again. Better not give this crazy person any more ideas.

------------

Hoseok stood in someone's home, someone's living room, dark other than the moonlight that filtered through the windows. It was a modest room, resembling one of those he would see on television. In the center of the room, there was a bright yellow rug flanked on three sides by a couch set facing a television hooked to the wall above a fireplace. It seemed cozy, somewhere he would have liked to live.

He had no idea where he was and he cursed his gift once again. This was getting ridiculous. This was the first time he had appeared inside someone's home. He shook his head as he looked at the clock placed on one of the small tables next to the big couch.

3 am. Great. He was trespassing in the middle of the night.

He decided to escape before the owners caught wind of him. As he made his way towards the door, a family portrait caught his eye. It hung right next to the front door, framed by a beautiful gold frame.

His mouth dropped. It was him. He looked a little older, the lines next to his eyes a little deeper as he sat smiling on a grassy field, his arms around a beautiful woman in a yellow sundress holding a small infant wrapped in green blankets.

He felt his heartbeat pick up. He knew her. It was the random barista girl. The one who insisted she knew him. What the fuck?

Before Hoseok could spiral any further he heard a noise behind him. Turning he saw her, dressed in flannel pajamas, walking down the stairs. She looked around her mid-thirties, nothing like the chipper twenty-something he'd seen last week.

He stood there blinking at her as she came closer, awe on her features that quickly morphed into sorrow. She touched his face gently as if in disbelief that he was there as her eyes glistened in the moonlight.

"Hobi?" She spoke, her voice was hoarse as a tear slipped down her cheek. Hoseok didn't know why but he felt his heart lurch at her tears. He had no idea who she was but he felt this innate pull towards her. He wanted to hold her, wipe her tears, and most fucked up of all, he wanted to kiss her.

"I- who are you?" He asked softly, his hand coming to hold hers as if he couldn't help himself, leaning slightly into her touch.

"We haven't met yet?" Her voice was wet with tears as she sniffled, moving closer to him. She hugged him, wrapping her arms around him tightly as if to feel if he was really there. He stood silently as she squeezed him close, and wrapped his arms around her when she started sobbing into his chest. He held her tight as she cried, his eyes brimming with sympathetic tears.

"I missed you so much Hoseok," she said as she looked up at him. He had never seen a more beautiful woman in his life. Before he could think, he was leaning down to capture her lips with his own, his heart in his throat. She tasted like strawberries and mint, and he felt his head turn into a haze. Before he could deepen the kiss, he felt the familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach. He pulled apart as he saw her fade slowly, trying his hardest to hold on to her as she did the same.

All too soon, the familiar sight of his bedroom materialized as he stood there alone, her last words ringing in his head.

"No! Please! It's too soon!"

He didn't know when he started crying, but soon he was kneeling on his floor sobbing for a girl he didn't even know the name of.

-----------

Hoseok didn't know when he fell asleep, but he woke up on the floor of his bedroom, his face puffy and back sore. Without a second thought, he rose from his position, grabbed his keys, and bolted out of his apartment. He had to find her.

It took him six days to meet her again. Six days of anxiety, amped up from the coffees he chugged as he visited the coffee shop at different hours. He couldn't even describe her properly, every time he went to the cashier to tell them how she looked they gave him an odd look. Maybe it was because by the third day he looked like a deranged stalker, describing her height and her build to anyone who worked there. He was surprised they hadn't banned him yet.

On the sixth day, she waltzed in and sat across from him, not a care in the world. Her smile was wide, a juxtaposition to the sad, older version of her he was fixated on. She wore a polka-dotted dress which hitched up a little as she crossed her legs. Hoseok was speechless as he almost choked on his coffee.

"You told me to meet you earlier but honestly, I just wanted to annoy you a little." She giggled, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, her eyes lit with mirth, and the stress of finding her hit him like a ton of bricks. Hoseok jumped out of his seat, his arms around her shaking as he tried to control his breathing. His mind was fuzzy, he had no reason to react this way, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't know her but he missed her. His heart was beating a mile a minute as he held her tighter.

"What took you so long?" He asked his voice a little hoarse from not speaking all day, his breath coming out in puffs against her neck. She hummed a little apology as her hand reached his hair, stroking his scalp in a way that made him instantly relax. He melted into her, her sweet floral scent a balm to his anxious nerves.

"Do you even know my name yet?" She spoke, her voice light and airy, as he finally let go of her. He cleared his throat in embarrassment, the tips of his ears turning as red as the beanie atop his head. He settled back in his chair awkwardly staring at her, fiddling with the string of his sweatpants that laid on his thigh. He looked up at her smiling face, as she put her hand on top of his. "It's Y/N. It's nice to finally meet you, Hoseok."

Her words were simple but their effect was anything but. Hoseok felt like everything in his world made sense, that all those times he had puked after a shitty trip down the stitch of time was worth it. Her hand was so soft, skin so perfectly smooth as her thumb stroked his hand, that Hoseok had a hard time finding words to express how he was feeling.

He looked at her shyly, not knowing where his nerves were coming from, as he smiled, meeting her warm eyes.

"It's nice to finally meet you too, Y/N."

----------

Hoseok sighed in annoyance as he walked down the path of the familiar suburban neighborhood. The sun shone brightly, and all he wanted to do was to be zapped out of here so he could end up in bed next to his girlfriend. It had been barely thirty seconds since he saw her, her soft skin molded against his as she slept next to him, her hair tickling his nose as he spooned her. He missed her already. This wasn't fair. Why did he have to walk around this stupid cul-de-sac when he could be wrapped in her warmth?

Ever since the coffee shop, things with her had progressed extremely fast. He couldn't help himself. He never felt as close to someone as instantly before. Granted, he knew they were going to get married and have a beautiful child together, but that didn't mean he knew how fast he was going to fall for her.

The day he first learned her name, he couldn't wipe the giddy smile off his face. She was different than any other woman he had met. She was outgoing and optimistic, and brave. Much braver than him. While he stuttered to ask her for her number, she leaned across the table grabbed his phone, unlocking it as if by magic, and added her phone number in. While he wrote and rewrote eighteen different texts, pacing in his living room, she beat him to it with a casual "Stop overthinking, dummy. It's only me!"

How could he stop overthinking? It was her. His dream girl gift-wrapped and sent to him by fate. He never thought his gift would be good for anything, but she was here and all his previous suffering finally made sense.

As he walked along the sidewalk, biding his time, he approached a bus stop. It was cute, and definitely not from his decade. A janky blue bus stopped, and out she walked, making Hoseok miss his step and almost trip. She was dressed in a school uniform, a crisp white shirt with a plaid skirt, a cute flower-shaped backpack on her shoulders, and her hands full of college pamphlets. Hoseok couldn't help the smile that overtook his features. He wanted to run up to her but he realized even if she was his girlfriend now, it was still a crime to approach a minor. His gift was so stupid.

He stood there, averting his stare and looking at his shoes instead, as she walked closer to him. He promised himself not to be a creep and try to talk to her but her voice makes him break his resolve.

"Ew. Can you not get a hint? Get away from me, you creep!" she yelled and Hoseok's head snapped up. He felt his face flare with rage as he watched a kid around her age try to put his arm around her as she tried to shove him off. The kid was relentless, throwing cheesy pickup lines her way as she continuously rejected him. He wanted to beat that little shit to a pulp.

Clearing his throat, he approached the two. "Dude, she said no. Get off her," he spoke through gritted teeth.

"What's it to you, old man?" The boy rolled his eyes, his hand still wrapped around her as she pleaded at Hoseok with her eyes. Hoseok wasn't old! He wasn't even thirty yet! He hated this kid.

"It's not nice to forego consent, kid," he sneered, schooling his face into the coldest expression he could muster. It seemed to have worked because one look at Hoseok's face and the future sex offender had his hand to himself before he walked off with a huff. Hoseok glared at him as he disappeared in the opposite direction. Good riddance.

"Thank you so much!" Her voice was higher than it was now, a little spring to it that only comes from innocence as she looked at him with round eyes. "You're like my own personal superhero!"

Hoseok felt awkward. He never wanted to talk to her here. Running his hands through his hair, he smiled at her, throwing an awkward "Any time!" as he rushed away. The feeling in his gut was back and he had never been happier to want to throw up. The afternoon sun faded as he stood in his own room, blinded and running to where he knew his trash can was.

As he vomited into the plastic can, he felt a hand rub soothingly down his back. She handed him a water bottle when he sat up next to the bin, his head aching.

"Welcome back, babe. When did you go this time?" She giggled at her own joke. God, Hoseok loved that laugh.

----------

Hoseok was nervous. He hadn't been this nervous in a really long time. Surrounded by all his friends dressed in custom tuxedos, he fidgeted with his bowtie, and scrutinizing his reflection in the mirror he fixed the lapels of the blood-red jacket he was wearing. Who convinced him this gaudy suit was perfect for the occasion? Oh yeah, his bride.

Jung Hoseok thought he'd accomplish a lot of things by the time he was thirty-one. He thought he would have signed to a major label as an in-house producer (he did), he thought he would be living in a beautifully decorated apartment downtown (he does), he thought he would have a cute little dog to welcome him home (Mickey is adorable, in case you were wondering), but he never thought he would be waiting at the end of the aisle for someone who would want to share their life with him.

Ever since she came into his life, Hoseok felt like it was filled with sunshine. She brightened every aspect of it. The first time he kissed her, really kissed her, it felt like happiness was resonating through his entire skeleton - like she was the one thing missing in his world. The first time he told her he loved her he almost threw up from the nerves knotting in his stomach.

He promised himself he wouldn't cry, but he couldn't help himself as she walked in. She had foregone the usual white gown, quoting something about the patriarchy, as she walked towards him in a dress, equally as red as his suit.

Her smile was wide and he was in awe of her beauty. He sniffled through his vows and she winked at him through hers, a simple gesture that made him chuckle and relaxed the emotions brewing in him. She could always do that with the simplest of things, be it a touch or a look. He kissed her with passion as their friends and family cheered. He hoped she didn't mind how much he was blubbering. He promised himself he wouldn't cry.

Their wedding was one of the best moments of his entire life. Dancing to cheesy music, cheek to cheek, the couple in red stood out amongst others in black. Hoseok was so in love that he didn't even mind when at the end of the night he felt the familiar buzz in his ears. He was slightly upset that he abandoned his new wife on his wedding night, but is it abandonment when the hotel lobby fades into what he knows now is his future home?

He saw her there, sitting on the couch, a frown on her face as she seemingly stared into space, dressed in a set of comfy pajamas and he couldn't control himself. Whispering her name so as not to startle her, he moved towards her when she smiled up at him. Sitting next to her on the couch, he pulled her to him with a grin. She giggled as she settles herself on his lap, running her hands over his jacket, before soothingly scratching his scalp. Hoseok couldn't help but lean into her touch, a goofy grin on his face. He was sickeningly in love.

"If it isn't my handsome new husband. I've been waiting for my wedding night for years." She joked as she pulled his face to hers, kissing him deeply. Hoseok's heart lurched in his chest as a little whine escaped him. She isn't surprised in the least to see him there, and why would she be? In the past five years, Hoseok has visited so many different versions of her. In a way, it's part of how he fell in love with her. She may only be thirty-one to him, but he'd seen her at every stage of her life.

As she deepened their kiss, his hands went around her waist squeezing her tight as she ground on him gently. He remembers the different versions of her as he feels his blood rush through his body, each touch sparking electricity under his skin. He remembered when he first laid eyes on her in that small cafe, his nerves on their first date, her tears when he proposed, the first time he had her under him after she invited him for a movie. But he also remembered her at six playing in the sandbox in the park, sixteen and humming to pop songs while she walked home, thirty-six as she cried in his arms, seventy when she looked frayed and weak but still beautiful. He had seen all of her life, moments that he was lucky enough to be brought to more often as he fell more in love with her. He had visited her hundreds of times, and he couldn't wait to do that for the rest of his life.

He kissed down her neck, leaving little bites that he soothed with his tongue as she undressed him, his jacket somewhere on the floor, his shirt mostly buttoned. She moaned as he cupped her breasts, a beautifully airy noise that set his heart on fire.

Soon the two were breathless and naked as he hovered above her on the couch. She arched into him as he entered her, her little whines encouraging him. He latched his lips on her hard nipples, nipping them how he knows she loves. She fit him so perfectly, always so perfect for him. His wife, his soulmate, his Y/N.

"I love you, wife," he whispered and placed his forehead on hers, his hips thrusting into her heat, as he relished the connection between them. He kissed her deep, almost overwhelmed by how perfectly their lips slotted together. He could kiss her forever.

"I love you, husband," she whispered into his mouth, and his pace increased, a hand coming down to rub at her clit. She writhed under him as he pushes her off the edge. Her legs shaking around him, her heels poking into his back, as he savored the way her walls pulled him in. He was panting when he came, filling her up and babbling a chant of her name.

He pecked her face about a thousand times as they both laid on the couch boneless and giggling. When he, inevitably, ends up back on his bedroom floor, he saw her smirking at his naked body on the floor, dressed in his t-shirt, her hair still wet from her shower. She squatted next to him.

"And where is your suit?" she chided, her lips lifting, even when she tries to pretend she's mad.

"We'll get it back in a few years." Hoseok shrugged as he pulled her into a kiss, missing her body next to him already.

----------

The bar Hoseok sat at is loud, too loud for the conversation Yoongi keeps trying to have with him, and that's precisely why he chose it. Next to their table is a bachelorette party, a gaggle of women dressed in feather boas and plastic tiaras, sloshing drinks on themselves as they excitedly laugh. It's an odd contrast to the way he's feeling, the atmosphere on his own table somber.

"So what? You're going to leave your wife at home and get wasted here? Is that what you do now, Hobi?" Yoongi scolded his friend but Hoseok was already too far gone, having had a few bottles of beers before even inviting Yoongi out. He knew he was an asshole, he didn't need Yoongi to remind him, but he needed to escape.

His once happy marriage was becoming tumultuous, and, no it wasn't because they didn't love each other anymore, but quite the opposite. The past two years had really shown him that even if they were fighting and yelling, they still loved each other. Even when they were mad they crawled into bed together at the end of the day and held each other, not being able to sleep otherwise.

Their marriage started off great. There were cuddles in the kitchen, dance parties in the living room, vacations in Rome, and a night where they both sat next to each other on the floor by the bathroom holding hands as they waited with a little blue stick. They made love on that floor when it showed two lines, but that wasn't a surprise - Hoseok had seen his child in that photo the first time he kissed her.

The surprise was when she woke him up in the middle of the night, thirteen weeks into the pregnancy clutching her stomach, tears running down her face. He had never felt as scared as he did at that moment, breaking all the traffic laws he could get away with to get her to the emergency room. He held her hand through the ultrasound, through the exam where she winced, and through the doctor solemnly telling them they had had a miscarriage. He didn't let himself cry in front of her, always wanting to be brave, but he sobbed when she slept, knowing that he had a child but gaining little solace from the fact as he mourned.

The second time the two lines showed up, they were careful. He waited on her hand and foot, working from home, ensuring she got the proper nutrients. The result was another trip to the emergency room and another night of tears holding each other. By the fourth time, they stopped being surprised, just two zombies driving calmly to the hospital, before returning home. She went to the bedroom, while Hoseok drank himself into a stupor, before asking Yoongi to meet him here.

Hoseok knew he had a child, but he felt hopeless, drowning in the undercurrent of hurt and apathy. He loved his wife, loved her more than anything in the world but he couldn't bear to look at her tonight, couldn't bear to convince her once again that he had seen their child. Maybe they adopted he thought bitterly as he switched from beer to shots.

He walked home in a drunken haze despite Yoongi's worried insistence that he take a cab. Somewhere during his walk, he had started crying, tears painting his face and sending shivers down his body as they cooled in the evening chill. He wished he could fix it for her, she was always so brave, always so supportive of his stupid ideas and moods. Every time they had a fight, she was the first to apologize, a smile on her face as she cracked a joke and tickled him till all his worries were forgotten.

Drowning in self-pity, he barely noticed the buzz in his ears as he entered his house. Stumbling into the living room he saw her sitting on the couch with a cup of tea. He stared at her as he realized he was in the future, her hair greying, and her skin wrinkled. He didn't know how to react, but the tears returned as he rushed to her falling on his knees as he held onto her legs.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." He apologized again and again. He didn't care that this version of her wasn't the one that needed to hear him, but he felt like a terrible husband, a terrible partner, as he kissed her knees. She stroked his hair and shushed him with a soft smile.

"What happened, Hobi?" she asked, her voice gentle, and he felt all his walls come down as he told her things he was sure already knew. He felt exhausted, every cell in his body aching. He laid on the couch, head in her lap as she listened to him, consoling him with the wisdom of a life lived.

After he had fallen silent, sober, and unable to convey any more emotions, she spoke.

"Hobi. You have to be nicer to yourself. You were the perfect husband. The perfect soulmate." Her words were meant to be soothing, but as soon as he heard them he felt like ice was running through his veins. He sat up immediately, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Were?"

"I shouldn't have said anything..." She looked guilty, hurt crossing across her features, as she ran her hands up and down his arms.

"No! Y/N... I die?" His voice was small, almost timid towards the end of the sentence, as he held her hands to ground himself.

"I'm sorry, baby." Her eyes glistened as she cupped one of his cheeks, looking at him sadly.

"When?"

"I'm not telling you. You'll go insane." She was firm in her resolution, her tone taking cadence that she always used with him when declaring the end of a conversation. But Hoseok couldn't help himself. He was going to die, he was going to leave her. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

"I'm already going insane! You have to tell me. What if I can stop it? We can be together. I don't want to leave you!" He pleaded, his eyes wide in panic.

"Hobi... You've never left me. You visit so often." She spoke with a small smile, seemingly reminiscing.

"Please! Please or else I'll go every day knowing it's my last with you. I - I can't do that. Please." He was almost whining at his point and he didn't care how desperate he sounded. He just wanted to know how much time he had with her. He was so stupid, how could he leave to get drunk while she waited for him at home. He didn't deserve the way this version of her was looking at him with such love.

"I barely even remember when it happened." He knew she was lying, could see it from the way her gaze averted his. Hesitantly she continued. "I'll... I'll just tell you. It's the day after you see yourself for the first time."

"See myself?" He repeated, his brain running through his memories. He would have remembered if he saw himself. It would be hard to forget, but he came up empty, tears of frustration lining his eyes as he ran his hand through his hair.

"That's all you told me. That you saw yourself and you felt bad for not being able to give yourself advice."

"I won't ever leave you. I promise. I'll come back. As much as I can." He kissed her at that, repeatedly, her lips soft under his. She knew he couldn't control his ability, but she smiled at him anyway, agreeing with his promise, telling him she'll see him soon, even if she had no idea if that was true.

When he was transported back to his room, he couldn't help himself from heaving on the floor, the contents of his stomach painting the hardwood. As always, she rushed to him, wiping his tears and walking him to the bathroom. She helped him change, before cleaning up after him, despite his protests, as she glared at him every time he tried to sit up from the bed.

When she returned from putting the cleaning supplies away, she shut the door to their bedroom, and there, on the hook behind it, hung his wedding suit, the crimson a bright splash of color amongst the white. She followed his eyes, giggling a little.

"You already made up for being an ass, don't worry," she joked, fingers poking at his side to tickle him gently.

Hoseok had missed her laugh. Missed it so much. He cut her off before she could say anything else, whispering apologies against her lips. He was never going to leave her.

---------

He was in a park, the trees throwing looming shadows under the moonlight as he walked around. He recognized this park, it was the one near her childhood home. She had taken him there during their first Christmas together, and he still remembered the silly grin on her face as she showed him the sandbox where she used to spend all her days as a kid, making sandcastles. He smiled at the memory. It was the first time in a while that his time travels hadn't taken him straight to her and he missed not being able to see which part of her life he was visiting.

He walked about reminiscing about his day. It was his daughter's third birthday and he felt a little bad leaving his wife to clean up the mess. He couldn't believe Soojin was three already. He pulled out his phone, scrolling through photographs as he waltzed down memory lane. He smiled softly at the photo from the day she was born. She was so tiny then, her little, pink heart-shaped lips in a pout as she stretched, her eyes almost disappearing beneath her chubby cheeks.

He kept his eyes glued to his phone, looking at photo after photo. There was one of her covered in mushed peas and he remembered how long it took him to get the mess out of the living room rug. There was one of her dressed as spiderman who she had declared her favorite recently after watching the cartoon on Netflix, doing the signature web-shooting pose. There was one of holding on to her mom as she walked for the first time. Hoseok's heart felt full, and he couldn't wait to get back home.

He decided to keep up with the tradition of seeing his wife every time he skipped through time and started walking towards her house, deciding to take the shortcut she had shown him. Humming a little, he placed his hands in his pockets as he strolled along, thinking about the delicious cake he had custom ordered for the party. He could probably eat the whole thing. Would it taste as good after it's been in the fridge?

His musings came to a quick stop however as he looked into the distance, just at the exit of the wooded path. There, dressed in a yellow sweatshirt with a giant dog on the front and jeans that didn't quite reach the ankles, was an eight-year-old boy. He walked closer and his heart stopped as he saw himself for the first time. He was crying, sniffling in the air, and as Hoseok approached his younger self, he vanished into the air.

He felt the air leave his lungs as he stumbled in his steps, falling on to the ground.

"That's all you told me. That you saw yourself and you felt bad for not being able to give yourself advice."

No. It's too soon. He couldn't collect his thoughts as they rushed through his head barely leaving a trace. When he had that conversation four years ago he thought he had more time. Soojin was just three years old. He thought he would have years, that he would see graduations and intimidate boyfriends, and walk her down the aisle. It's too soon.

He could feel himself hyperventilating, his breaths short and his ears echoing with his heartbeat, as he tried to collect himself. He looked at his hands shaking in his lap and his eyes focused on his outfit. How could he have forgotten what the man in his memory was wearing? He put on these ripped jeans this morning, the same jeans that haunted him for the first sixteen years of his life. How could he have not realized that he was the creepy old man he had nightmares about as a kid?

Trying to control his breathing, he started to formulate a plan. He didn't want Y/N to know, he didn't want her to go through the emotions he was going through right now, because she would go through so much worse when he was gone. He sat in the park and let himself cry, hoping that he wouldn't have to leave soon because leaving meant saying goodbye and he was not ready yet. It's too soon.

---------

Hoseok awoke with a sinking feeling in his heart and a lump in his throat. It was the day he had been dreading since before he learned her name. He hated that he didn't have enough time. Enough time to hold her, enough time to watch his daughter grow up, enough time to build a bigger family.

He found the other side of the bed empty and standing up with a groan, he moved to the room next door. He stroked his daughter's cheek a tear spilling out his eye that he quickly wiped. Bending down, he kissed her little cheek, sniffing her calming scent.

"Daddy loves you, baby. Daddy will always love you. Please be good for your mommy okay?"

She only moved a little at his words, sighing before continuing to snooze. Hoseok ran his hands over his face, his heartbeat accelerating. He looked at the mirror in the corner and practiced his smile a few times. He had to be brave. He had to be brave for her, for both of them.

He walked into the kitchen, schooling his expression into one of bliss, as he saw her standing in her underwear and one of his t-shirts, and his heart felt hollow. He loved her so much. He hated that he had to leave this way, but that was his fate from the beginning, wasn't it? Their whole relationship, everything, started from and led to this moment. Padding over to her, he put his arms around her squeezing her tight, his chest molding perfectly to her back as it always did.

She giggled as she leaned into him, softly caressing his arms and making him nuzzle further into her neck. He took in her delicate scent and tried to control his breathing. He could not break.

"Someone's cuddly this morning," she commented, turning around with a grin.

"I just love you, that's all."

She cooed as he brought his lips to hers. What he intended to be a gently good morning kiss, turned into so much more as he lost control of his emotions. He kissed her like he would forget her taste, but it wasn't him who would be dwelling on this moment for years to come.

When the two broke apart, he cupped her cheek as he felt the familiar buzz in his ears.

"You know I love you more than anything in the world right?" He whispered before he started to see his kitchen fade away.

Her voice echoed as he was teleported into a dark room, momentarily blinded.

"Aww, I love you too, my Hobi!"

He fumbled around a little and then he heard it - a loud gunshot, shattering his eardrums. The sound hurt more than the sudden sharp pain in his chest, he thought, as he gasped for air, stumbling to the ground. The lights in the room turned on then and he saw the younger version of his father in law, demanding something, his voice inaudible.

She never told him details about this moment, but kind of fitting that it was in the hands of her father. He never did like Hoseok much anyway. His breaths felt shallow as he chuckled at the irony. Or was it justice? Karma? He didn't know. Nevermind, his chest hurt far more than his eardrums. Fuck, being shot is a bitch.

He felt the nauseous pull for the last time as he dropped into his bedroom. The last thing he saw was his wife  rushing over to him. Oh, she was so beautiful, he was so lucky she chose him.

For being a time-traveler Hoseok’s life was full of regrets but the one thing he would never regret was meeting her, even if that was the reason he lost her.

—

I hope you liked this super sad angst piece, for more fics of mine check out my masterlist

[pespillo]

I dont know much abt deltarune but everytime I see horny Spamton art I feel like it's just a resurgence of sexy sans

hornyness at spamton is completely different beast from sans´s sexyman status, people horny at sans think hes more suave and intimidating than he actually canonically is , also a whole fascination to transforming a skeleton into a creature with traits that are literally not actually present in his canon character design... "ecto" bodyparts probably has its own wiki page somewhere now.

spamton literally shapeshifts around and like, "lays eggs" , and literally transforms into some sexyman diy craft creature robot thats held up by ropes/strings , has a strong profile, acts like a deranged freak, laughs maniacally and appeals to that contemporary glitchcore aesthetic the youth loves, also genuinely lays down a tragic backstory for him thru the chapter when u go for his secret boss fight, like 80% of spamton´s horny fans like him as a freak with maybe, fat tits added and maybe theres like some 20% that draws Genuinely Sexymanfied spamton n he looks. unsettling ÑLKDSÑLSD

[steveandbucky]

i actually cant get over how bad cruella is both as a premise and in execution, disney really said "we're going to take this puppy-killing evil villain from an old movie and give her an origin story, but since we're a family-friendly media company, there can be no puppy-killing" they literally whitewashed their own villain and made her into a really bad heroine. like the whole 'i killed my mum' 'oh wait no it was the baroness' shit is just like. cringe.

if it was ANY other original character, it's a good movie! storyline-wise, at least. its about a scrappy recently orphaned eccentric girl who has dreams of being a fashion designer and does bad things to survive because like, living costs money. and ok the acting is still bad. i really liked emma stone in easy A and crazy stupid love but i think that's her roles. fun comedy movies. i did not like her in this film. the character is edgy, especially when she adopts the 'cruella' alter ego and the actress is... very mild. but as a heroine, it's not a bad character. i just feel like her whole 'i'm evil now' arc felt forced, and it should have been a natural progression. you find out your boss killed your mum, and you go apeshit. but she did not go apeshit. embrace your deranged side or go home!

the villain of the story, the Baroness tries to be a Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, but she falls short. so short. its like the cheap knock off that falls apart in a month. however her actual character of like, rich white woman who does bad things in order to retain money, fame, and power, these are good villain traits. i would sympathise with the poor girl and want herto win!

i did not care for the 'oh no the villain is the heroine's biological mother!' plot twist (ok i didnt see it, i read the synopsis on wiki after the 1.5 hour mark because HOW is this movie 2h17min!!!!!!!) i mean its been done, i think? it feels tired? nothing fresh here either.

the soundtrack is. kind of bad too. again i feel like they are trying to copy...something? but failing pretty badly like either do it all the way with songs that slap shrek-style or do something new and original. the whole lotta love cover was particularly bad imo, but maybe bc i love the song and i hated the cover so thats my personal opinion

i have heard people say they liked the movie for the costumes and like ok yeah i like pretty dresses and fashion design and i can admit it was good in that sense, there are nice visuals and i do like the style and the retro 60s-70s vibes but its hard to enjoy those when the movie sucks so bad.

but the main problem really is that they took a puppy-killing villain and made her into a campy quirky girl who was wronged, gets revenged on the woman who wronged her, and wins, and her and her friends and their dogs live happily ever after.

AND THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE A FUCKING SEQUEL?!

[animearchetypes]

Guide to All Dere Types in Anime (Renewed)

I may as well do this again without editing and reblogging my own post this time so challenge accepted. Here in an academy of anime, I’ll teach you how some characters react to love with the dere types. Which dere are you and which dere is your favorite? Credit to The Dere Types Wiki for the information.

Tsundere

A tsundere refers to an outwardly violent character who "runs hot and cold", alternating between two distinct moods: tsuntsun (aloof or irritable) and deredere (lovestruck). There are 2 types of tsundere; tsundere type A (harsh is their default mood, they’re rude until someone triggers their sweet side) and tsundere type B (sweet is their default mood, they’re friendly in public but they act mean towards their love interest).

Yandere

They start out as nice and friendly, especially towards their love interest. That is until something or someone comes between them, then they become dark and obsessive over the one they love. Love makes them crazy, often violently so. They’re mentally destructive in nature through either over protectiveness, violence, brutality or all three combined.

Kuudere

Someone who is calm and collected on the outside, and they rarely panic. I believe there are 2 types of kuuderes; one who pretends to be emotionless, and one who’s actually emotionless. Either way, they turn out to be really caring - especially towards their love interest.

Dandere

A dandere character is one who is quiet and asocial, possibly to the point of coming across as emotionless at times, when they’re really just shy or afraid to talk. They will become talkative and sweet when alone with the right person.

Deredere

Derederes are extremely lovey-dovey, always chasing and fawning over the person they love. They're not ashamed and have no problems with public displays of affection. They don’t hide their feelings, and no matter what may happen, they quickly revert to their cheerful self.

Bakadere

Characters who are clumsy and stupid when it comes to expressing their love. They’re either oblivious to romance or don’t know how to express it. They are for the most part very innocent and sweet, but their stupidity outshines their other attributes.

Bodere

Boderes are usually shy around those they’re infatuated with, and get embarrassed easily. They don’t know how to handle their embarrassment and so they use their fists instead of their words, and lash out so they can hide their shyness. Though they don't necessarily have a harsh exterior otherwise, and may feel bad about their outbursts of violence.

Byoukidere

A byoukidere refers to a character who is usually very sweet and kind, but suffers from a physical disease, usually a fatal one. Due to this, they are weak and frail. They are very kind, helpful, and sweet in nature.

Darudere

Darudere characters would rather sit around and show no emotion towards anyone, including their love interest. They are nonchalant to those whom they love, but they do express emotions, they just usually show no interest in those who like them.

Dorodere

They appear sweet and lovable on the outside, but are twisted or disturbed on the inside for various reasons. They initially act lovey-dovey but their hidden deranged side can strike at any moment. They can also possess the mind of a yandere, except they don’t act on those thoughts.

Hajidere

A hajidere is someone who is nervous and embarrassed around their crush. They get so shy around their love interest that they blush and have trouble confessing their feelings. On some occasions, they might even faint from being so bashful. Nonetheless, they can be social and outgoing with their peers.

Himedere

A himedere is a female version of an oujidere. They act like a princess and want to be treated like royalty. They're often arrogant and overly dramatic. They will however, soften over time with their love interest.

Hinedere

A hinedere is someone who has cynical world views. They have a nihilistic view of the world and often see the worst rather than the best. Though cold-hearted and arrogant, their soft side is shown after their love interest breaks through.

Kamidere

This describes someone with a god complex. They are arrogant and proud, and aren’t afraid to speak their minds and show everyone how right they are. Their pride makes them highly arrogant, overconfident and stubborn. They think they should get special attention and priority, but will eventually become loving once their exterior is broken.

Kanedere

A kanedere refers to someone who is attracted to others with money or status. They’re the anime/manga equivalent of a gold digger, and they can be snobbish towards poor people. They only show affection and care towards people with money and how much money they have, but a true love can break their habit.

Kekkondere

A kekkondere is someone who wants to get married right away, despite having only just met. They immediately decide after they meet someone of interest that they're the right person for them, and begin planning their marriage.

Mayadere

A mayadere refers to a character who is often a dangerous antagonist of a series, but switches sides after falling in love with another character. However, they might remain deadly and unpredictable.

Megadere

A megadere is someone who is obsessed with their love interest. They’re like derederes but to the extreme. They fangirl/fanboy over their love interest whenever they can; sometimes to the point of stalking, and they might even steal their items. However, despite their obsessive nature, they will never commit violent acts or manipulate their love interest.

Nemuidere

A nemuidere refers to a character that spends much of his/her time sleeping. Nemuidere characters tend to be very lazy and laconic in nature but they can also be intelligent and artistic, if only they weren't such a sleepyhead. Unlike a darudere, they sometimes show interest towards the one they love. They can be motivated by their loved interest to become less sleepy.

Nyandere

A nyandere is a vague type of dere that's just cat-related. While they don't have to actually be a cat; they are picky, needy, and punctuate their sentences with a cute meow.

Oujidere

An oujidere is a male version of a himedere. They act like a prince and want to be treated like royalty. They're often arrogant and overly dramatic. They will however, soften over time with their love interest.

Oujodere

An oujodere (also spelled as oujoudere or ojoudere) is a "lady-like" type of character, who's prim and proper with a strict exterior. Unlike a himedere, an oujodere isn't arrogant nor bossy, and they don’t want to be treated like royalty. Despite that they often come from a wealthy family, they are sweet and kind. They’re basically a calmer and more mature version of a deredere.

Sadodere

They love to manipulate and toy with peoples emotions, more so if they're romantically or sexually interested in them. Sadodere characters are sadists who take pleasure in causing pain to people’s emotions. They are cruel by willing to cause pain to people without showing care or concern.

Shundere

A shundere is someone who is depressed without a specific reason. They might gradually open up, especially towards their love interest. They’re chronically depressed and they have a tendency to ignore and avoid others. However, not all shunderes show their chronic sadness, meaning their depression isn’t always obvious. They might open up slightly if they find the right one.

Teasedere

They are people who like to tease their love interest. They’re mischievous at heart and like to flirt. Inside, they care a lot for their loved one and so they simply tease as their way of showing their affection towards someone they like. They do not manipulate or want to cause pain, unlike a sadodere.

Thugdere

A thugdere is someone who often mistreats other people including their love interest, by physically or emotionally harming them. They’re delinquents with a love interest. Their cruel nature is often a way of hiding their sweet and loving side, since they believe their sweet side makes them look weak or foolish. They’re like tsunderes except they’re more of a criminal type.

Undere

These people agree with pretty much everything their crush regardless of their true feelings. They do this to get closer to their crush, and they don’t want to offend by saying no in fear of losing them. This may cause them to be taken advantage of since they do pretty much whatever their love wants.

Utsudere

Describes someone who is depressed, but unlike shunderes who are depressed from a start, theirs come with a specific reason; such as being bullied, abused, or their loved one dying. This would cause them to isolate themselves, worsening their mental state. But they might gradually open up in time when the right person shows up.

Yottadere

A yottadere is a character who is addicted to alcohol. They’re rarely seen without alcohol in their hands and so they’re often drunk. It is rare for them to be sober, but they might stop drinking if it means having their special someone.

[klugpuuo]

Witch (Puyo Puyo it makes me so happy when people talk about her-) and/or Kagamine Len (Vocaloid) for that character ask game?

witch... evil insane cruel and deranged she's amazing. we needed more evil women and she was what we needed and more<3 (she is also nice we recognize and appreciate this, but due to our relartionship with canon, and her active involvement in triggering media, we kinda prolly focus on how evil she is too much)

anyway we love that interaction w/ draco where she just is like "okay can u do some experiemcne for me. ty love"and that's sort of it. genuinely adorable (we were the ones who wrote that it existed on the wiki LMAO)

LENNN<3<3<3 I LITERALLY REMEMBER ONE OF THE KEY MOMENTS IN MY DEVELOPEMENT AS A PERSON WAS WISHING HE HAD MORE OUTFITS AHGH

specifially i also wished that you could give the boys girls outfits and vice versa. please crypton please please in project mirai the another one make this possible i need to transgender everyone belease

anwyay he and rin were like my original blorbos and they are so mentally ill for me<3 i want 2 write abt them sometime

[whatudottu]

Because I've held this off for too long, once again it seems that @nukeli has beaten me to the punch with colour schemes. Damn my procrastination or whatever, but I only just realised that I didn't put any mention of the 'fodder' classes (Vehicons, Insecticons and I suppose Autotroopers since I'm including them) and wanted to put down my thoughts before writing this up.

An added bonus here is that certain character have different alts (based on character changes and even the heavier focus of 'robots in disguise' that these Decepticons are after) so it's not just me ranting about colour schemes.

Yes, this was why I was complaining about the wiki altmodes, so deal with the vehicles I found instead. May or may not be due to me using images as references haha.

The Autobots (you are here)

The Decepticons Part 1

The Decepticons Part 2

Going in order of my notes, we begin with Cliffjumper. He’s obviously a 1970 Dodge Challenger and what colours I’ve given him are on the image below. Nothing much to say about a definitely dead character other than I didn’t just wanna make him blue.

Next on the list is good old Doctor Ratchet. I’ve had it in my mind ever since Nuke’s one post that SG!Ratchet was like Medic from TF2, so I guess I took it and ran.

To play an opposite to regular Ratchet, he comes across as affable and friendly but is really just doing the things he loves to people he hates. Autobots, Decepticons, hates everyone. He despises Optimus Prime too, but he can’t do anything unless he wants to be cooped up in his berthroom reattaching his limbs for it. Believe him, he tried.

As for altmode and colours, I spent way too long finding that he resembles a Mercedes Benz G-Class ambulance that I was ticked to find out he wasn’t at all. I special looked for the green coloured ambulance because Synth-En, duh!

Breaking in after the Doctor comes our local wrecker Bulkhead. I don’t have much of a read on this guy, other than the fact that I thought it’d be a cool idea for him to lose a lot of his memories after ‘TMI’, ya know, from the Synth-En recipe? Certainly not set in stone, but it could very well contribute to my accidental theme of memory (which only has some small links in the posts I actually created).

With the help of my car enthused cousin I have given our not so loveable mech a Terradyne Gurkha, a little more military than the wiki’s off-roader Lamborghini that I’m too annoyed to bother to look at. I thought that the military origins and the black colour scheme sorta allude to something something mindless military man. yada yada.

Following him is our ever wonderful Optimus Prime, or maybe Lord Prime? Haven’t thought too much about that. What I have thought of is this master manipulator who mayhaps also be a little bit delusional idk we’ll decide in the car.

I always loved the idea of a smiling SG!Prime, as if there’s still hints of this benevolent leader that the original has, but it’s warped and meant to add fodder to the war, encouraging mechs to fight to their deaths all in the name of not only the Autobots, but their Prime. Also as a warped version of the original, I wanted Shattered Glass Optimus to be deluded in the fact that Megatron will change, change at least, to submit to the real leader. Ain’t happening. That’s sorta there with Ratchet too, but well, you read Ratchet’s piece didn’t you?

SG!Prime is consistently purple and black, and whilst I have found a Peterbilt Semi Truck with that wonderful colour, it comes with white instead. Think about it, this typically evil colour paired with often innocent white, that’s like perfect for what I’m going for.

Fitting that he’s next, it’s time for Prime’s Second In Command Ultra Magnus. I’ve... really got nothing for him. Maybe he’s still by-the-books but like he finds loopholes just to commit atrocities? I don’t know.

I’ve given this boy a Mack Trident alt instead of Prime’s Peterbilt, just for differences sake.

After Magnus, we got our little bug Bumblebee... or is it. Because I wanted to change his colours a bit without going into Beast Hunter territory, I wondered if bees come in different colours and, low and behold, they do!

As for the boy himself, I think he was one of the bots manipulated by Prime himself to join the cause and, given his almost rewritten personality, has only lived through to this point in the war by sheer luck. This mech is an absolute menace, feral and powered by the need for Prime’s approval, tearing others with denta and servo more often than with stingers and blasters.

Now you’ve noticed I haven’t been using his name? That’s because he’s now Blue Band (I just realised he’s still bb haha)! He gets his name from the Blue Banded bee, and I found a Chevrolet Camaro to match.

In line with BB’s younger status, feast your eyes on Shattered Glass Smokescreen! Oh boy isn’t he a delight. His hero worship has essentially turned him to a prime (pardon the pun) candidate for Optimus to form into his perfect super soldier, who already would die for this deranged mech even before laying optics on this grand Prime.

So, he’s an absolute suck up, a straight up spoiled brat that has it harder than Blue Band for Prime’s acknowledgement, and is actively showing off and bragging that he’s Optimus’ favourite (he’s not, he just encourages it because that’s the easiest way to get Smokey to do what he wants).

Almost to reflect that (perhaps another pun) I found this gaudy Chameleon Chevy Corvette that absolutely SCREAMS show off.

Regrettably partnered up with him after the passing of Cliffjumper, Arcee has run out of patience. Not everything she does is motivated by Airachnid (what kind of character would that be? not a fun one) but she does often enjoy killing those connected with her. After Tailgate, she’s gotten a little mad, but her effectiveness otherwise increased so others never bothered to ‘fix’ her.

Having lost both of her partners, when she absolutely hates another (read; Airachnid and Starscream because he still kills Cliff) the best kind of revenge is putting her opponents in her own pedes. Oh, that mech’s growing attached to one of his comrades? Slice and dice them before their optics. Oh, that femme is finally coming out of her shell and making friends? Gore out their spark and hope that humans don’t decide this would be the perfect time to practice what they preach and save the life of that same mech with a hard to perform surgery that may or may not have been lost to time.

Okay so she’s obviously a Kawasaki Ninja (haha that’s kind of fitting) and I was tempted to make her pink like other Arcee iterations, but look at this fancy stuff right here. He hoo glowy look pretty!

Almost in leu of an Airachnid archetype, Wheeljack comes in. Though still quite the wrecker and ever the bomb enthusiast, instead of actively celebrating his impacts and going solo to stop the rust settling in, he’d rather be offed whilst mechs are distracted by his pretty explosion and lay forgotten in the dirt.

I may have accidentally rooted the unintentional memory theme deeply with the wreckers (Breakdown included) and maybe just took it and ran, giving everyone else a little connection, but Wheeljack is probably the most explicit in this idea. He hates nicknames (which i super Ratchet uses to mock him here in Shattered Glass) because that’s like... naming something you’re going to keep to quote that specific fic which, honestly, I can’t remember. Wheeljack split from others to stop them from remembering him and put himself closer to a situation where he can die alone, as morbid as that sounds. No grand death, no stupid death and no straight up suicide (generally that’s a VERY impactful kind of death) so just a mediocre end is what he’s been looking for for a little bit too long.

As for his colours, I apparently have no taste and should not have a car because I really like what this image has going for it. This C3 Corvette is probably one of the few cars that fits the straight up box of a sports car that Jackie’s got, so I’m sticking to it, so no, don’t show me the wiki I’m ignoring it this was too painful to give up dang it!

Okay, finishing off the bots, I have the Autotroopers. Sure, I’m not using a reference of a car to show off the colours, mainly because there’s also going to be flier troopers too, maybe... surely... definitely. Most depictions of them are white, you know, goodie goodie, and I’m tempted to just laze around and do just that. Instead, I think a goldish colour would be fun.

Aside from sharing a key colour with Ultra Magnus, essentially a war lawyer, which is perfect for subjects made to obey, a nice glimmering finish almost feels like they’re all manipulated by Prime to believe in the Autobot cause. I suppose the special devision, if there is one, would be a nice Prime purple, sorta like if it’s Optimus’ personal guard if he actually had any belief they would do their jobs.

Oh boy this is so long...

[quesselfships]

Just some things

So I caved and watched The Boys. I thought it would be a bad idea because of how much Sarah ruined Karl Urban for me.

It was a bad idea for a different reason.

So this is going to contain spoilers for both seasons of The Boys, blanket trigger warning for, like…that show in general? It’s got it all! Sexual assault, coercion, narcissism, Nazis, a pretty hardcore mommy kink, and war crimes.

So I got though the first four episodes ok. The Karl Urban stuff is still difficult but the liberal use of “cunt” was pretty endearing and I didn’t have the same kind of visceral reaction that I do in regards to LOTR, Priest, or NuTrek. I figured out within the first ten minutes that pretty much everyone is an awful person in this show. It’s like…pretty fucked up what they do. The corporation is evil, the heroes are all very broken people who are super fucked up.

And then episode 5 happens.

So there is this scene in episode 5, where Homelander, the psychotic superman, is spying on the woman who does all the management of this core group of heroes. He’s got a whole Mommy obsession with him. And like, ok, whatever, we know he’s insane and she’s got a streak as well. I mean I think in corporate upper management type jobs you have to be some degree of crazy. I digress so its implied I think he’s been spying through the walls for a while, and she sees it on the CCTV.

She invites him in, and she guides him to the couch and it just gets weird in a way I can’t describe with words, so have these gifs:

I was immediately turned on, I wanted to be in Stillwell’s position. I mean, even more so. In that moment I would have let him suck on my boob all night.

The next episode gives us a bit more of his backstory, raised entirely in a lab. And well I’m a simple bitch, I see abuse and trauma, I subscribe. This Homelander, with the trauma, fuck, I just wanted to rescue him.

But it only gets worse from here. S2 Homelander was deranged and to be honest I thought maybe this crush would dissipate. But it’s more complicated than that. It does somewhat, but there is still this lingering sense of something else.

He hooks up with Stormfront, after she promises him the Alt Right Propaganda Machine. He exploits her to an end and I do think if Stillwell hadn’t been. You know. Murdered by him, he wouldn’t have been as easily manipulated by her.  He murders a lot of people. But then he shows tenderness with his son. And it feels genuine.

It reminds me almost of the DS9 episodes with Dukat. Dukat is awful, ran the entire operation of the occupation of Bajor. He raped multiple women, had a number of children. But all the interactions he had with Ziyal are genuine. I feel that with Homelander and Ryan.

Is it? I don’t know. I don’t know. When I still only like 1 episode of S2 done I read the wiki and it ends with “Ultimately, Homelander is a damaged man, raised in a loveless environment, extraordinary power and looks, and often told how great he is. Further the people raising him were people with a notable disregard for ethics, leaving him with a similar mindset. This has left him with the paradoxical mindset of seeing most everyone else as less than him, while at the same time having a deep desire for love. Homelander ends Season 2 as a broken man, having lost his son, the woman he cared about, and his power and control over The Seven.”

On one hand he’s a terrible person, psychotic and narcissistic and quite possibly incapable of love. To him the ends justify the means of him being the most loved by everyone, always, all of the time.

On the other, the microplastics in my brain are like…I can fix him especially since I’m cool with the Mommy kink thing. Like…I will figure out how to temporarily lactate cool with this thing.

I’m just feeling a lot of complicated things and it sucks. When I had complex feelings about Waterford from Handmaids Tale I had Timothy, who frankly I had a crush on first but other friend issues…it’s not important. But I don’t have another Antony Starr…anything to project onto. And even if I could just channel the Mommy kink into Robin, who also has a rather complicated thing going on, I think it would be a step too far for him.

So I’m just kind of here with my thoughts and I hate it. Moden has been good, putting up with me and my nonsense. I shaved my legs for the first time in months. Getting some cross stitch done

[truly-madly-slytherin]

The Dark Princess 

*gif not mine//credit to the owner

A/N: This is my first ever published fanfic and I’m not very familiar with the usual writing norms so please go easy on me 🙆‍♀️ I’ve had this idea for a while this is meant as a prologue to the main storyline focusing around his daughter so the other chapters would have reader inserts ║ I got most of my information from Harry Potter wiki so my apologies if it’s not all correct║I refer to Voldemort as ‘Tom’ for the first part as in my head to Fleur he would always be Tom and she’d refuse to refer to him as Voldemort because that’s not the who she fell in love with║

Summary: AU in which Evan Rosier has a sister, Fleur Rosier, who falls in love with Tom Riddle (OOC). She was the only witch he considered to be on his level and during their 5th year they get into a relationship. She stays by his side after they graduate eventually falling pregnant.

Song for the mood: The Rolling Stones - Heart of Stone

*I don’t own any of these characters or the song all rights belong to J.K. Rowling and the filmmakers, and The Rolling Stones

 CHAPTER ONE

Prologue

➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰

There've been so many girls that I've known

I've made so many cry and still I wonder why

Here comes the little girl

I see her walking down the street

She's all by herself

I try and knock her off her feet

But, she'll never break, never break, never break, never break

This heart of stone

Oh, no, no, this heart of stone

He was the man who could know no love. Who could never feel love. Who could never be loved. 

From the very moment he arrived at the orphanage those were the words uttered about Tom Marvolo Riddle. After the First Wizarding War was over, people were no less convinced that the Dark Lord was incapable of human emotion. Unbeknownst to everyone that very same man, the man notorious for his attempt at inflicting the darkest curse known to wizardkind on an infant, had a child of his own. 

On the 27th of July 1980, Fleur Rosier, sister of Evan Rosier, gave birth to a baby girl in the bedroom of Riddle House. It had taken everything in the witch’s power to convince Tom that the child she bore, their child, was not the child spoken of in the prophecy. She could have cursed Severus on the spot when she found out what the fool had told the Dark Lord, knowing in her heart of hearts that there was no possibilty of it being their child. However the wizard, driven deranged from the relentless splitting of his soul, was not so sure. He made several attempts to test Fleur and her unborn child, using the cruciatus curse more than once. Each and every time she survived, she pushed through the pain to regale the same words and reassurances, desperate for him to believe her. Until one day on the stroke of her 3rd trimester, something clicked and he did believe her, no longer convinced his seed could ever be his demise.

What's different about her? I don't really know

No matter how I try I just can't make her cry

Cause she'll never break, never break, never break, never break

This heart of stone

Understanding that a wizard of his power could not afford to have such vulnerabilities he stowed Fleur away in the Riddle House, telling not a soul of their existence. And on a bright summers day, at 11:01am surrounded by Tom and a team of doctors and midwives, their child was born. A little girl. The next Heiress of Slytherin. The Dark Lord did not know what he expected to feel upon the birth of the child, but he did know that he did not expect such strong feelings of warmth and excitement to encompass him. Holding the minute-old infant in his arms, he felt an intense desire to protect her, to keep her out of harms way.

Oh, no, no, no, this heart of stone

Unfortunately for Lily and James Potter whilst Voldemort possessed the ability to feel love he did not possess compassion, and his obsession to kill their boy and fulfill the prophecy continued.

Don't keep on looking that some old way

If you try acting sad, you'll only make me glad

Better listen little girl

You go on walking down the street

I ain't got no love, I ain't the kind to meet

Over the next year Fleur watched on in horror as the man she loved slowly disappeared, giving rise to the darkest wizard the world would ever know. Once their daughter had reached six months old his visits became rare. By his last visit his appearance had completely changed, morphing into a pale reptile-like creature. She could barely stand to look at him, yet nevertheless their daughter’s adoration of her father never faltered and she continued to look up at him with the same loving eyes she always had despite the changes.

True, unconditional love.

Fleur learned of his plans to kill the Potter family and she could take no more. In her eyes if he could kill the Potter child there was nothing of Tom left to stop him from killing his own. Now completely engulfed by dark magic, she no longer trusted him with her and her child’s safety. So she turned to the only man she could trust, Albus Dumbledore.

'Cause you'll never break, never break, never break, never break

This heart of stone

Oh, no, no, you'll never break this heart of stone darlin

Albus Dumbledore had taught at hogwarts for many decades and in that time he’d come across thousands of students. None of those students, however, had disturbed him quite like Tom Riddle. From their first meeting at the orphanage, to his graduation day at hogwarts, Dumbledore knew there was something gravely dark about that boy. He was vaguely aware of a relationship between him and the Rosier girl, but he did not expect them to bear a child. Reading over the letter once more, the last sentence stuck in his mind ‘She is in grave danger. You must save her.’

As Peter Pettigrew informed his master of the Potter’s location, the spineless man also informed him of a conversation he had overheard between Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall speaking of a letter he had received from Fleur Rosier informing him of her child sired by the Dark Lord, and begging the Professor to hide them away and keep them safe. Learning of Fleur’s betrayal, he made Pettigrew form an unbreakable vow promising never to reveal the knowledge of Lord Voldemort’s offspring, before travelling back to Riddle House for the final time.

On the night before Halloween Fleur placed her daughter in her cot, bright eyes watching as she picked up her copy of Tales of Beedle the Bard, ready to read her to sleep. Before Fleur could finish reading the first sentence, the door to the nursery flew off its hinges revealing Lord Voldemort blind with rage. Without giving her a chance, his yellow slits met her brown orbs, wide with terror, as he delved into her mind. Memories of their years at hogwarts together flew by intertwined with countless memories of their daughter, before it fell on the memory he was after. The Dark Lord watched as her quill glided across the page, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Hesitating several times she folded the letter and placed it in the owls beak, giving the animal its destination - “Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts Castle.” This was all the confirmation he needed and he pointed his wand at her as she helplessly pleaded with him not to hurt their daughter, her arms outstretched protectively around the cot in an attempt to block the toddler.

No, no, this heart of stone

You'll never break it darlin

You won't break this heart of stone

Oh no no no

As his daughter watched on from inbetween the bars of her cot, Lord Voldemort fired the Killing Curse at his former companion, bright green sparks illuminating the room.

And then, silence.

You better go

You better go home

Cause you'll, you'll never break this heart of stone