#i love u guys a lot <3< /div>
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The urge to post as soon as I finish something vs the want to wait until more people will be able to see it REMATCH FIGHT !!!
#cal rambles#this happens every single time LMAOOOO#for once scheduling posts actually won out#maybe itâs bc Iâve got like. nine of these outfit memes to post EJWBWJWLTOG#i think itâs also bc these r like requests from ppl so Iâm more concerned abt the ppl who asked for them actually seeing them#so Iâm like ok I gotta post these at a reasonable time then#i love u guys a lot <3#sorry I know I tend to make a lot of these rambling p much diary entry style posts late at night#but idk ppl donât usually see em that much and itâs fun for me to write down my thoughts#and know that other ppl can see them even if Iâm not explicitly sharing or advertising them do u know what I mean#omg Iâm scary-ing
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Just got back from seeing Sonic 3 and HOOOOOOLY SHIT yâall. Oh my fucking god. OH my god. Ohhhh my g o d
#IT. WAS. PHENOMENAL. PERFECTION. LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR#SPOILERS AHEAD IN THE TAGS BEWARE#They gave us Shadow on a motorcycle. Shadow with a GUN. Shadow flexing by POPPING OFF HIS LIMITER RINGS LIKE A BADASS#AND!!! THE MOST GORGEOUS CREATURE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY GODDAMN LIFE. HOMIE WENT SUPER SHADOW AND HE WAS G L O R I O U S#THE LIGHT FURâŠ..THE SPARKLESâŠ..THE GLOWINGGGGG!! HE WAS GLOWING!!!!!!#WE GOT LIVE AND LEARN!!!!! WE GOT LIVE AND LEARN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ALSO genuine family bonding? Sonic Team bonding? SONADOW BONDING???#Shadowâs little smiles during the flashbacks with Maria MY GOD I WAS GOING TO BLOW UP.#Shadow did the Akira slide on his bike and I said repeatedly under my breath Iâm not a furry Iâm not a furry Iâm NOT a furry#IâM NOT I SWEAR#IâM JUST A HARDCORE SHADOW GIRLIE#Homie had me swooning tho I WILL NOT LIE!!!#I felt so bad for my friends I was probably insufferable for the entire film I tried SO hard to reign my fangirling back#I squealed and stimmed a LOT. SORRY YâALL THE AUTISM LEAPT OUT. THAT WAS BEYOND MY CONTROL#OH AND THE END?????? METAL SONIC??? A M Y??????#I KNEW they were gonna tease Amy I had a feeling#Also also it was so funny as we were walking out of the theater this guy was like âTAKE THAT OBAMA!!!â and waited for an answer#And then he was like okay nobody got that. But then I said âI PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT!!â and he started CHEERING LMAOOO#That movie was a religious experience. For ME. I feel like Iâve ascended to heaven#Iâm so. Fucking happy right now Iâm SO happy it was so good Iâm going to cry#I love you Shadow the Hedgehog I love you Sonic the Hedgehog Iâm going to break apart literally right now#Also one more BIG thing but Iâm putting that in a separate post. Hold on.#Shima speaks#Sonic 3#Sonic#Sonic the Hedgehog#Sonic movie 3#Sonic spoilers
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Here's a dialogue prompt for Emily please! Try this out pls. Love you Kam sm sm. "So why are you here?" "To make a fool of myself." ok ty lysm
even though i watched u type this, the wording makes me giggle every time i look at it.
emily prentiss x tech analyst!reader <3
warnings: fem!reader, cannon typical violence, very brief allusions to sexual assault (nothing happens!), angst and fluff! mutual pining.
word count: 5.4k
Emily is the loveliest thing you've ever seen and you can't imagine how she could ever possibly like you back. She enjoys the game, though, and teasing you is her favorite hobby.
-
Itâs a sunny day. Warmth trickles down with the scattered light through the leaves. Patterns trace your arms, throwing your skin into a collage of different shapes and shades. Leaning back on your elbows, you watch people mill about the park. You look back down at your arm after a few more minutes, this time focused on the small watch resting there. With a sigh, you stand up and dust off your pants before picking up the small blanket you laid out and tucking it into your bag.Â
You walk back to work, enjoying the sounds of the people around you. You lingered too long at the park during your break and are hoping that nobody notices your slightly late return. Maybe the team will be in a meeting, gruesome pictures you never quite learned to stomach plastered on the board, entirely oblivious to your tardiness.Â
Unlikely, but a welcome thought soothing your anxiety as you push the door open and scan your badge at the security desk.Â
âWelcome back,â the security guard says, smiling at you over his paperback. Heâs an old greying man and you vaguely recognize him. You think heâs new and send him a warm smile in return.Â
âThanks,â you glance at his name badge, âMartin!â
You walk past him and step into the elevator. âWait!â A voice calls and you reach forward to hit the hold button instinctively before you register the voice as Emilyâs.Â
She jogs into the elevator with you, smiling gratefully. âThanks, Iâm already running a little behind.â She lifts a container and shakes it a little. The label is from the Italian bistro across the street, about a ten-minute walk away and always nearly triple that in wait time.Â
âBrave of you to go there during your lunch,â you joke, returning her smile and pressing the button for your floor.Â
You hope she canât see how your hands shake as you reach forward.
âI know, I just love their Pasta Brado. Have you tried it?â
âCanât say I have. Iâm boring, I usually go for the parm.â
âYouâre not boring,â she says so earnestly that you canât help but blush. You cough as an excuse to raise your hand to your face and hopefully hide it some. âYou do have to try it, though. Here,â she offers you the plastic box.Â
âOh, I couldnât. And I already ate.â You ignore the way your chest hurts a little at how enthusiastic she is. The worst part? She doesnât even know how endearing her simple kindness, her casual enthusiasm, is to you.Â
âTomorrow, then. We can go together.â The elevator doors open as she says it and she steps out with an affirmative nod to solidify it. âDonât try to bail out on me either, I know where to find you.â
âYeah, I'm okay,â you say, feeling lame as you step out behind her. âI would love to.â Sheâs too far to hear you, though, already heading to Spencerâs desk and jumping right into his conversation with Morgan.Â
Someone says your last name and you turn on your heel to see Hotch and cringe slightly. âI was trying to find you.â Itâs a kinder way of him reminding you that youâre nearly ten minutes late back from your lunch.Â
âSorry, sir.â
âItâs fine. Do you have the reports finished from last week's trip to Huston?â
âYes, sir, theyâre at my desk. One moment.â
-
You and Emily donât go to the bistro the next day because she and the team are sent to a small town in Kansas that night.Â
âIâll owe you lunch,â she says, hand on the back of your desk chair and brushing your shoulder as the team rushes to the jet.Â
âDonât worry about it!â You reassure her.
âIâm taking you to lunch,â she calls over her shoulder, pretend-glaring, âyou will try that Brado!â
And then sheâs gone, leaving you giddy and breathless.Â
You know sheâs just being friendly â she treats Spencer, Morgan, and JJ all the same as you â but her efforts to spend one-on-one time with you outside of work still have you feeling like a schoolgirl passed a note from her crush in class.Â
You try to remind your heart to stop singing because Emily probably isnât even gay and definitely isnât interested. Instead, Garcia scares the shit out of you when she interrupts your inner monologue.Â
âLunch with Emily? Things are getting serious in your work marriage.â You hadnât seen her walk into the room and jump at her voice, hand jumping to your mouth to suppress a yelp. âSorry! Sorry!â
âItâs okay, didnât see you.â
âYour loss, I look fantastic today.â
âAs always,â you smile up at her, nose wrinkling and genuine fondness filling your senses.Â
âCareful, wouldnât want a workplace affair,â she jokes, leaning against your desk and picking up the stress ball you keep handy.Â
âStop,â you moan in good nature. âNobody else calls us work wives.â
âThatâs just because they donât have my brilliance and excellent observational skills.â
âNor do they have the same privy to my more personal thoughts,â you say, glancing up at her before returning to your paperwork. With the team leaving so quickly to tend to a missing child's case, youâre not getting home in time to cook dinner but are hoping to leave early enough to grab food instead of resorting to your freezer stash.Â
âI would hope not. You know I canât be replaced, baby.â
âDoes Morgan know you talk to all your work besties like this?â
âI most certainly do not. Youâre a regular bestie, not a work bestie.â A wink and then her expression sobers. âI do have an actual reason for visiting your humble cubical, though.â
âHm?â
âIâm going to need extra hands for this case. Itâs time-sensitive, as usual, and seems like it will be particularly tricky.â
âYes maâam,â you say, dropping your pen and standing to follow her.Â
Your position at the bureau is kind of a catch-all. Most of your time is spent logging data, building reports, and doing general research for the team. Occasionally, though, you jump in to help Garcia with real-time research. Nothing as high-stakes as her direct assignments, more background work. Calling offices to talk to managers, combing through more meticulous data, generic census material to rule out obvious dead ends.Â
Itâs stressful work that technically isnât what youâre paid for but you never complain. Your team saves lives, consistently putting themselves in the line of danger. If you have to spend a few hours a month helping Garcia call a suspect's manager at McDonald's to see if he still works there, itâs literally the least you can do.Â
âYes, so, it looks like our unsubâŠâ
You drown out Garciaâs brief about information you already have sitting in front of you and begin vetting possible suspects from the large pool her system created.
Itâs going to be a long night. You think about future Brado to cheer you up.Â
-
âReid, Prentiss take the back,â Hotchâs voice fills your ears. You imagine the pair nodding and splitting off from the group.Â
This is your least favorite part of helping the team with active investigations â listening in on the calls. Itâs rare that you and Garcia join the line when theyâre approaching the unsub but, with you helping her, it isnât a risk to distract Garcia and a much quicker method of getting any new information the team needs. Itâs a new system youâve only tried thrice, unsure how having microphones on 24/7 will work, and it grants you and the team more fluid communication.
Still, adrenaline floods your veins as you listen to their coms, the sounds of Garcia typing a constant behind their voices, imagining every way this could go wrong.Â
You suspect the girl is still alive, the uncle doesnât seem to have any reason to kill her just yet, but your fear for her grows with every minute.Â
âClear!â
Your eyes fall to the receipts flooding your screen. Ammo. A new rifle and pistol. The team knows but the evidence of this unsubs ability to hurt any of your friends, your family, isnât helping your nerves.Â
âI think heâs going to the roof!â Morganâs voice, clear in the comms.Â
You click out of the documents. Two swift motions on the screen. The firm press of the button.Â
âMorgan, youâre on foot. Prentiss, follow him. Everyone else in vans, go!â
âGarcia, map out possible escape routes from the roof,â you instruct.Â
She nods, screens shifting immediately. She puts on her own headset with one hand and clicks on the call and starts to bark information to Hotch.Â
âGot her!â Reidâs voice sounds and you deflate a little. He mutes as he begins to console the small girl.Â
You know you can take off your headset now, leave the call, and go to your paperwork. There isnât much more you can do to help â youâre sure thatâs what youâre supposed to do â but you stay on anyway, listening.Â
âRight on Elmore!â Morgan calls. You find the street on Garciaâs screen, eyes tracing the path you think theyâre taking.Â
âWeâll try to cut him off,â Rossi says and you can hear tires in the background of the call. The click of a steering wheel cutting to the side too quickly. Someoneâs labored breathing â probably Morganâs as he dead sprints.Â
âStop! Put your hands up!â Emily shouts. The firmness in her voice makes you sit up straighter in your chair.Â
You hear something that sounds vaguely like, âbitch,â before a loud pop drowns anything else out.Â
âEmily!â Morganâs voice, more pops.Â
Gunfire. Thatâs gunfire, your brain recognizes.Â
Your blood has gone cold.
âWe need a medic!â Morgan shouts. Hotchâs line blinks red, going dead as he calls the ambulance. âEmily, Emily.â
Rustling. Cars. Sirens. Morganâs line goes dead after you hear a car door slam shut. Then Reidâs and Rossiâs. Emilyâs is the last to stay green, blinking.
You and Garcia stare at each other as you listen to Emily be loaded into an ambulance. Listen to Morgan tell the team, voice far away and barely tangible, that the unsub only managed to fire out one shot before he downed him.Â
Neither of you can hear where she was shot or how badly injured she is before Emilyâs line goes red as well.
-
âEmily?â You call softly, rapping your knuckles softly on the frame of the cracked hospital door.Â
Your name, faint, answers you and you take that as permission to nudge the door open. The room looked dark from the hallway but Emily has the small lamp embedded on the wall switched on, throwing her face into harsh shadow.Â
âHey, you,â you say, walking in, arms full. âI brought things.â
âYou didnât have to do that,â she says, trying to sit herself up further and wincing as the motion pulls on her stitches in her abdomen.Â
âWait, let me help you,â you say, setting your things down and reaching out a hand.Â
You wait for her nod before touching her, letting her grasp your arm and looping your other arm around the back of her waist to take most of her weight yourself.Â
âThanks,â she mumbles. You can tell she hates feeling useless, hates needing help for something as simple as sitting up, so you drop the subject with a nod and kind smile.Â
You turn around to the small rolling tray where you put your things down, pulling two black containers out from a plastic bag. You feel silly and very awkward as you turn around to show them to her.Â
âI know itâs probably not quite what you meant but,â you set the containers down on her bed and pop one open.Â
âThe Pasta Brado! Oh man, I was going to treat you.â Sheâs pouting through a smile, attempting to put on an upset facade and failing miserably.Â
Itâs so cute that you struggle with what to say next.Â
âThank you, really. You can pull up that chair, if youâre hungry now.â
You grab the chair sheâs motioned to and drag it to sit next to her. âIâm hungry if you are. It might be a little cold, though, itâs kind of a far walk.â
âYou walked here?â Emily asks, tone appalled and face comically shocked.Â
âYeah, my car broke down last week. Iâve been walking to work â itâs actually really nice out right now â and I couldnât find a cab from the bistro.â You busy yourself with the food while you talk, opening the second container, setting it on her legs, and unwrapping the plastic cutlery for her.Â
âJesus! You didnât need to come and see me if you donât have a car. You didnât need to come at all, actually. I really appreciate it,â she amends, seeing how your bashful smile freezes on your face, reaching forward as if to touch your face and brushing your shoulder instead. âItâs really sweet of you but you didnât need to walk all that way. Isnât it like a twenty-minute walk from here?â
Over thirty, but you nod anyway, knowing it wonât help your case to correct her. âItâs not a big deal. You were shot in the stomach, of course I wanted to see you.â
âAh, so you wouldn't want to see me otherwise,â she teases, nodding and pushing her pasta around with her fork. She doesnât even try to conceal her grin.Â
âHa ha, very funny,â you mumble. You take a bite of your food and your eyes widen. âOh my god.â
âI knew you would love it,â she beams, watching your expression as you taste the food. You you she meant to say it in a gloating way but you swear you can hear a sort of fondness behind the words. Something in you warms at her ability to know you so well.Â
You tell yourself youâre overreacting about both thoughts.Â
âYou were right â Emily this is unfairly good.â
âOh, I know,â she says, taking her own bite and letting out an exaggerated moan, complete with an eye roll. You giggle and she smiles at you. âThank you, this is exactly what I needed.â
âYouâre welcome,â you say, holding her eye contact.Â
She's been in the hospital for three days, transferred back to Virginia last night; her hair is unwashed and unbrushed, and sheâs wearing no makeup and a hospital gown.Â
Sheâs still the prettiest girl youâve ever seen.Â
-
Your car is fixed by the time Emily is released from the hospital two days later and you offer to take her home.Â
âHi Sergio,â you greet the cat brushing against your legs as Emily disengages the alarm.Â
You set her things down by the door before turning to offer her your arm. Emily doesnât pretend that she doesnât need the help when itâs just you two, something youâre grateful for after watching her struggle with the team around, and lets you guide her to her bedroom.Â
You set about making her comfortable, turning down her sheets and propping the pillows up so she can sit.Â
âIâve got it,â she laughs, playfully pushing away your hands.Â
You laugh along with her, raising your hands and backing away. âIâm going to go put the rest of your stuff away and get you a drink.â
âPerfect, Iâll take an old-fashioned. Donât forget the cherry.â
You roll your eyes at her, scoffing and leaving her room.Â
You throw her clothes and go-bag in her laundry room before making her a glass of water and another glass of juice. Once youâre sure sheâs settled in her bed with her book, you return to the kitchen to make her a few dinners, ignoring her protests.Â
-
Emily is back in the field much sooner than you would have liked.Â
âI was cleared by the doctors,â she tells you, coat slung over her arm as she digs through her bag for her badge.Â
You smile at Martin, sending him a mock exasperated look, before she finds her ID and shows it to him.Â
âIt still seems too soon, Em,â you persist, reaching forward to push the elevator button and turning so you can lean back to watch her face.Â
âEm?â Emily asks, the hint of a smile pulling up the left corner of her mouth.Â
You sort of feel like you could die in that moment, just from the heat that simple gesture surges through you.Â
âIt just sort of slipped out, sorry,â you say, thoroughly embarrassed.Â
The elevator dings and the doors open, throwing you off balance for a second. This doesnât help your already flared nerves as you stumble back and drop your bag. You reach down to gather it and the files scattered across the floor.Â
Youâre kneeling to stuff everything in your bag when Emily crosses your line of sight again, wide smile on her face â teeth fully on display and nose scrunched, you are in desperate need of help â holding out your notepad.
âI think the nicknameâs sweet. I kind of like the idea of having a name only one person, only you, calls me.â
All of the air has left this godforsaken elevator, the heat must be on, you stare dumbly at her as she reaches forward to grab your bag and put the rest of your papers inside of it for you.Â
And then, realizing you look like an absolute idiot, you snap back into your body and cough slightly. The doors ding and open again, you grab your bag from her and stand slowly. Smiling at her, still crouched on the floor and looking, amused, up at you through her eyelashes, you say, âOkay. Thanks, then, Emmy.â
You walk away after that brief flash of confidence, telling yourself youâre just imagining how you swear her face flushed bright at your comment.Â
And if Morgan mentions a few minutes that Emily seems flusters, well, who can blame you for floating on that high for a few days?
Except she doesnât let it go.Â
She corners you on your break in the kitchenette. Literally. She catches you when youâre examining the coffee pot that has been making concerning gurgles for the past few days and leans on the counter behind you, effectively blocking your exit.Â
Not that you really want to leave.Â
Sheâs wearing a red tank top and dark jeans, her hair is loose around her shoulders, eyes steadily trained on your face as you work.Â
âHello,â you say, quiet in a way youâre not normally.Â
âHi.â
âWhatâre you doing?â You ask after a few more moments of her silently staring at you while you pretend to know what youâre doing with a screwdriver.Â
âEnjoying the view.â
You drop your screwdriver and relish in the sound of her laugh.Â
-
Youâd love to say that you had some suave answer to return her charm but you think you spent it all that morning with your boldness.Â
Youâre not shy but confidence doesnât run in your blood either. Youâd say youâre pretty normal â average. You donât find much wrong with that, you know you have other qualities that build you up into an interesting person. You love your friends and coworkers deeply, for one. And have an intense trust in them and their abilities.Â
That trust is always tested in your day-to-day at work but never more than now as you feel the car around you make turns at highway speeds. You think youâre on some sort of back road but itâs hard to tell from the trunk given the obvious lack of windows.Â
Youâre calmer than you thought you would be if kidnapped.Â
Groaning after one particularly rough turn that has you jostling against the sides of the trunk, you allow your head to thump back and stare at the inside of the dark car. Light breaks through the cracks of the hinges of the trunk and you wonder if water trickles through when it rains.Â
Youâve been in here too long to consider if youâre focused on the wrong things. Youâre scared shitless, of course, but the adrenaline faded about an hour into your drive and now youâre just bored.Â
Imagine that â bored as fuck in the trunk of a stranger's car, wrists burning from the rope and jaw sore from where itâs been forced open too long by the fabric tied around the back of your head.Â
Youâre just allowing yourself to reimagine your morning with Emily when the car stops and the engine cuts.Â
You snap back into the present, energy flooding your system again as your brain flicks into overdrive. You might spend your days paper-pushing behind a desk, but you passed your physical. Youâre smart, youâve heard the stories of how these victims survive captivity.Â
When the trunk pops open, you squeeze your eyes shut to prevent pain from the sudden lack of light. You donât want to be blinded and the action has the added benefit of pleasing your captor. He put a hood over your hood when he grabbed you, muttering in your ear in tense tones that you would do best to not even try to see him.Â
Say what you will, you usually do a pretty good job at following directions. This one is easy and happens to be number one on your list right now â keep him happy so he keeps you alive.Â
âGood girl,â a gruff voice says before a calloused hand gropes the back of your neck to yank you forward. Scratchy fabric envelops your head and your hot breath bounces back against you, trapped against the fabric of the hood.Â
You stand when his hands start to grab your waist, pulling yourself to your knees and allowing yourself to be lifted from the trunk.
You want to run but know nowâs not the time.Â
âLook at how well-behaved you are!â His breath is wet against your neck. He stands too close, hands clawing under the hem of your shirt to cling to your skin.Â
He walks you forward like that, chest pressed against your back and breath slithering down the collar of your shirt to hang uncomfortably over your collarbones.Â
Itâs becoming increasingly more obvious what this sicko wants from you and your stomach is twisting at the thought. You urge the team to hurry up, knowing your absence would have been missed ages ago. They have to be looking for you by now. And, with how sloppy this dude seems to be, he must have left a plethora of clues waiting to be found.Â
You have to repeat this to yourself as you hear a door lock click.Â
âTook you long enough. This is the girl? Sheâs kind of ⊠well,â the second man kisses his teeth with a sharp sound. Youâre pushed forward again. âWhatever floats your boat man.â The door shuts and locks behind you. The second man's voice fades as he talks, disinterested.Â
You wonder if itâs wrong to feel slightly insulted right now.Â
âThis way, doll.â
You listen. Itâs saving your life to be complicit in his directions, so you listen. Still, youâre shoved harshly to the floor once you get to where he wants you, knees striking what feels like cement. Before you can recover, your cheek stings and your head is whipping to the side from a sudden slap.Â
Then, thereâs a kick to your ribs. You fall onto your side, too winded to even cry out, lips falling open in a silent scream. A boot in your belly. Your ribs again, your hip and back.Â
âWhy?â You manage to sob out. âWhy, why?â
You donât get an answer.
-
Youâre not overly religious but you thank whatever heavens or universe exists that he leaves you alone once heâs done kicking the shit out of you. Your ribs are bruised but the worst you expected hasnât happened.Â
The boredom returns as you lay with throbbing ribs. At least one is broken and every breath hurts. You canât imagine sitting up and, luckily, with your hands tied behind your back, itâs not really an option anyway.Â
It must be near an hour later when youâre fading out of consciousness â a purposeful choice on your part to save your energy â when you hear the front door burst down.Â
âFBI! Hands where I can see them!â Morgan. You nearly weep but think better when your stuttered gasp makes your side throb. âWhat the fuck?â You hear shouted in reply. âRobb, what the fuck man.â
There isnât much of a resistance from the living room. The second man is shouting at what you can only assume is the first â your initial kidnapper â but thereâs nothing else other than that.Â
âClear!â You hear Hotch call. Spencer replies and then you hear the door nearest you open.Â
His voice calls out your name. You deflate against the floor. A second, you know heâs scanning the room with his gun before holstering it. âClear! I need a medic!â
Hands, gentle, against your face, removing the hood. Swifter after that, removing your gag, and then hand binds.Â
âHey, Spence,â you say, trying to smile up at him.Â
âShh, youâre okay. Weâve got you.â He starts to support your weight behind your shoulders and the pain that brings is too intense to prevent your yelp.Â
âOh my god, is she okay?â You hear Emily ask seconds before you see her. She looks concerned, hair now in a tight ponytail and FBI vest strapped over her chest. She whispers your name once and then a second time, reaching forward to gently brush your hair out of your eyes.Â
âHey, pretty,â you say, words tumbling out of your mouth before you can catch them.
âHi beautiful,â she answers, reply just as soft as your own. Earnest.Â
It makes your heart ache and, for the first time since being yanked off the road walking to grab lunch, you start to cry.Â
âHey, hey, Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry, beautiful, itâs okay. Youâre okay.â She repeats this as youâre lifted by the paramedics and cry harder.Â
She repeats it when they stitch up where kicks burst the skin over your cheekbone open, repeats it as she trails a hand down your arm in gentle patterns while they examine your ribs and confirm that youâve broken two, maybe three.Â
She tries with you in the ambulance.Â
You canât help but think about being on the phone when you heard Emily be shot weeks earlier. You squeeze your eye shut as they insert the IV, beyond grateful that sheâs there to hold your hand while they do it. The tear that falls down your cheek has nothing to do with the pain and everything to do with the thought that you couldnât have been there for her in the same way.Â
An odd thought, you realize, but itâs the one youâre stuck with as you drift away when the pain medicine enters your system.Â
-
Youâre sent home three days later. You insist on spending the night alone, afraid to admit youâre scared because, honestly, nothing much happened to you.Â
Oh, of course, everyone tries to convince you otherwise but you know theyâve all had it worse. You were gone from the bureau for about eight hours and spent most of it bored.Â
So you force yourself to spend the night alone. You donât need help moving around or doing things for yourself so you convince yourself you donât need help.Â
Youâre cooking dinner when the doorbell rings. You wipe your hands with a dish towel and take your time walking to the door to look through the peephole. You donât know who took you yet, you havenât asked and nobody has said, but you can imagine seeing him through the door. Waiting for you, waiting to kill you this time.Â
Okay, yeah, maybe Spencer was right when he talked about PTSD and usual levels of anxiety, but youâre so tired of him being so right all of the time that you really want to prove him right.
There is no man standing on the other side of the door, though. Instead, you see Emily, holding a plate wrapped in tin foil and looking serene in your apartment hallway.Â
You open the door quickly, unlatching it and turning off your alarm with a few clicks. âEmily?â
âAh, man, I was getting used to Emmy,â she jokes, stepping inside with a smile in your direction and kicking off her shoes.Â
You canât think of an answer so you just smile at her, hoping sheâll take the lead. Youâre tired and she must see it because she offers the plate in her hands to you once the door is closed and the alarm is reengaged.Â
âRossi sent me with it with explicit instructions to not let you share it.â
You giggle and take the plate. âIâll have to tell him thank you. Itâs kind of out of your way to come all this way, though, isnât it?â
âNot out of my way at all,â she says, words dripping with meaning as she holds your eyes. âI would have come even if Rossi didnât have food for you.â
âSo why are you here?â
âTo make a fool of myself,â she says, casually, like thatâs something people say every day, âprobably. Youâve just gotten back from the hospital and I know you said you wanted to be alone, but,â she swallows and her words are becoming more rushed as she speaks, âI said the same thing and you still stayed.â
âEmily?â You ask, setting the plate down on your hallway table and clearing your throat. âAh, Emmy?â You amend when she cuts you a look. Your attempt to diffuse the tension doesnât work and she steps closer so youâre toe to toe.
âThat doesnât really answer your question, though. Youâre sweet enough that you would let it go, but,â she shrugs, reaching forward to gently loop her fingers around your wrists. âStop me if this is awful timing. Please,â she says, leaning forward and staring into your eyes.Â
You feel like youâre suffocating, but if this is death, youâll greet it gladly in the irises of Emily Prentiss. Youâre caught in the trap of the moment, heart hardly breathing, all aches and sores forgotten because Emily is leaning closer, breath fanning across your face. You feel intoxicated, ensnared.Â
Everything that has ever been exists here, now, in this moment. Every breath used to blow out birthday candles and blow away eyelashes â breaths with purpose, with wishes, with intent â exists between the two of you as she leans closer and closer. Closer, still, and how can so much distance exist between you two when youâve been standing so closely?
âJust, stop me, if you want,â she whispers against your lips, eyes falling shut.Â
Time yawns again, freezing. Your eyes open, hers closed, beats of seconds pausing. Hesitating for you to hold this moment in your hands. Youâre grateful to appreciate it because she really is so lovely. Her bangs are pushed back from her face with a headband â imagine that! Emily owns headbands! â and you can see every detail of her face. Her elegant nose, her slim eyebrows, her narrow, prominent, lips.
And then your heart finally catches up, beats loudly, cracks whatever fragile plane of glass holding the moment so perfectly still, and her lips are meeting yours.Â
You gasp into her mouth, hands breaking out of her hold to grab her face. Youâre afraid that sheâs going to pull away before this kiss can be fully real. Before you can actually taste her â lemon cake and rain and warmth. Before you can memorize the feel of her lips pressed against your own before you can drag her closer and slip your hands into her hair.Â
But she doesnât pull away. She meets your enthusiasm with a sigh and then enthusiasm tenfold. You can feel relief in the kiss, feel how she relaxes into you. She takes a step forward and you take one back half the amount to account for it.Â
A tilt of your head and itâs better, impossibly. Sheâs firm, sturdy, beautiful. Confident. Lovely, lovely, lovely.Â
And then she reaches forward to hold you to her, hands brushing your ribs to wrap around your back and you canât hold in the gasp of pain that causes you to stiffen. You want to take it back, want to ignore the pain, want to keep her near, but she wonât allow it.
âOh, Iâm so so sorry. Are you okay? Iâm sorry.â You smush the apologies against her lips, removing one hand from her hand to guide her arms around your shoulders where they wonât hurt. âOkay! Okay,â she giggles, leaning back with several short kisses that do nothing to satiate you. âI need to know youâre okay.â
She can obviously tell she hasnât hurt you too bad by your reaction, but the sweet caution in her voice has you melting further.Â
âIâm perfect.â
#criminal minds#cm#bubbs.writes#x reader#fluff#criminal minds x reader#emily x reader#emily prentiss x reader#emily prentiss fanfic#emily prentiss fanfiction#emily prentiss is a lesbian#cannon typical voilence#tw kidnapping#tw allusions to sa#tw guns#tw gunshots wounds#emily prentiss#spencer reid#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#penelope garcia#prentiss x reader#it didn't come up naturally but the security guard is the whodunnit#bad guy martin#apologies to all martins and robbs#i wanna write more with these two#so lmk if you wanna see more#i have several other asks in my inbox but I wanna give them all attention and care#so keep sending them and don't get discouraged!#i just love u all lots and wanna give everything the same attention and energy <3
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TNV Fanart
so i think i said i was gonna make fanart for this (again).. probably uhhhhh early september late august?? i donât remember. but. erm. It took FOREVER. school kicked my butt and i had no free time. (buddies this took me 6hr 30min total) BUT i think it came out good. so yippie! also, side bar, im trying to get used to digital art again so the lighting looks mega weird. pls help. OTHERWISE YAYAYAY ITS DONE @sugarpasteltmnt SORRY IT TOOK A COUPLE MONTHS. this could possible be classified as a remake (spot the old one: impossible mode). ill put both down~ (TUMBLR ATE THE QUALITY LITERALLY WHERE DID IT GO.)
#rottmnt leo#neon void#rottmnt fanfiction#rise leo#rottmnt#little goober guy#tmnt fanart#please idfk how tags work#pastel you have got me in love with this guy i just want to hold him and make all of his worries go away#little baby boy and his cheeky smile aw look at him#i forgot.. like.. a lot of stuff (bandana and his back spines BUT U WOULDNT EVEN SEE THEM ANYWAYS#aww the scrunkly#aww my heart#aww <3#go read The Neon Void on ao3 RIGHT NOW. this is a threat.#tmnt leonardo#leonardo hamato#rise leonardo#the neon void#rise tmnt#rise of the tmnt#leonardo
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soooo eepy sleepy
#still chugging along on my series and i only have 5.5 left till it's done!! hoping to finish in two weeks or so given my work sched#im planning to hopefully sell it as an artbook and i doodled this bc oughhhh maybe an add-on item. a teeny .5inch charm or smth#the eyes on the mask r really important to me they mean a lot to my mental health. big blinkers to shield him from the light#im not done w all the pix but i can tell u for a fact that the rook one is the best quality-wise. it just goes hard there's no contest#to be clear none of the pix are explicitly meant to be shippy but idc if ppl read into it so yknow maybe ill make a random silrook fan happ#but yea. hi guys i love u <3#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#suntails
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Me and my partner @the-good-ol-art-corner collaborated on this AWESOME poster for one of our favorite Bendy Aus @toontiedterror by @dictatortirah !! I am in LOVE with how it came out and I am so excited to see how this story and world develops!!
I put so many details into this, it is absolutely silly, but I had a swell time doing them. Those headshots on the missing posters belong to the staff from our own Bendy project @howdy-folks-its-showtime and we didn't even intend to make two versions. But I put so much into the background... I just had to make a version without the foreground to show it off <3
#batim#batdr#bendy and the dark revival#bendy and the ink machine#bendy#bendy the dancing demon#bendy au#batim bendy#bendy the demon#borendy#mickey mouse#batdr carley#alice angel#shipahoy dudley#boris the wolf#cw drinking#cw alcohol#cw alcoholism#cw cartoon blood#cw cartoon violence#cw smoking#cw implied gun violence#cw gun violence#slight eyestrain#theres a lot of content warnings this story is intense but I love it for that tbh-#but yeah approach with caution KJDHFSGKJDHFKGJHSD#also u guys would not believe how many layers I made for this bad boy#by the end clip paint studio was lagging just opening it but I have no regrets#it turned out so so cool one of my favorite bits of art Ive ever had the pleasure of helping create <3
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when u kiss his chipped eyebrow <333
#he will love u forever now hehe#kissing away his insecurities <3#best way to gain a boyfriend lmao#lov this guy hehe#i been thinking abt him a lot#figuring out his personality#(smokbeast if u see this. sorry i haven't answered ur ask wif him n soma yet. i was doodling smthn for it n it is still not finished :'>)#tou x y/n#tou sans#swap tourette's sans#swap sans#undertale#undertale au#didderd art
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what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?
It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:
During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.
Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.
I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:
I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.
The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.
This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.
The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.
I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.
#ivan u fucked up little guy.#also okay i just wanna clear this up#i know i make a lot of posts about ivans darker side and his more problematic traits#but this isn't me trying to villainize him or reduce him down to âtoxic yaoiâ#I HOPE YOU GUYS KNOW ALL MY TOXIC YAOI POSTS ARE LIGHTHEARTED.#i just want to clarify that ivan was always intended to be a darker and complicated character. even since his debut in round 3#the way i refer to ivan (âtwistedâ âcreepyâ âobssessiveâ etc) are literally the direct words used by q and v themselves to describe him#but despite that id like to emphasize that i don't see ivan as a villain or a completely bad person. hes complicated#there is no normalcy in this world they are living in. none of the characters know what being truly normal is#this isn't me condoning his actions#but it has to be acknowledged that alnst is fucked up in nature. we can't expect perfect relationships from people who are born to die#plus ivan has a lot more layers past the âdarkâ parts. he's constantly battling himself and his desires#especially at the end of round 6 where he performs a myriad of conflicting actions (kiss strangle peck smile)#thanks to the r6 production notes we now know that ivan was going through a rapid internal conflict#âsure and unsure at the same timeâ#there is sooo much to ivan. his low self-esteem. his desire and possessiveness despite knowing till will never love him#his VEHEMENT insistence that till will never love him vs his desperate persistence in trying anyway#uh i need to shut up i think#anyways sorry. just wanted to clarify my thoughts on him in case people think im. yk.#in short. hes a fucked up little freak and he fascinates me. this poor tragic child. i love him.#SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#asks
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From Serious Moments by @mariashades
This year, it was just after two in the morning when Virgil rolled out of bed and went looking for Scott. Heâd been roused from a restless sleep when, informed by some subconscious awareness or instinct, heâd sensed Scott leaving his room. Padding quietly through the dimly lit house on bare feet, Virgil found the eldest on the mezzanine floor above the lounge, his tall frame curled up and wearing the old university tee shirt and sweatpants he usually slept in. Scott didnât look up as Virgil approached, his eyes fixed on his watch and scarcely daring to blink as the numbers ticked over, a large open bottle of something dark in his other hand. Not even Virgil crouching beside the chair got a reaction. âScott?â Virgil asked carefully, already planning how to get the bottle off his eldest brother. This was not a coping mechanism that he wanted to chance becoming a habit. â...Iâm officially older than Mom,â was the reply, and Virgil felt his gut twist at the utter heartbreak in the words.
#Len draws your fic WIPS#lenleg's thunderbirds tag#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds 2015#scott tracy#Virgil Tracy#this was like an hour sketch XD#hope its ok!#yEET#I got lots of good ones to do we'll see how many I get through#love u guys <3#also my default is 'scott sulks at dads desk' so i 100% missed it was supposed on be on the couch so ??? hope this is ok aaa#I got Virgil to bring the idiot a blanket
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im gonna start posting fanfic recs btw whenever i find good ones. both here and my (awfully barren) 18+ account. because there are so many good fics out there with so few hits and fewer kudos and sometimes no comments period and it SUCKS because i REALLY LIKE THEM A LOT.. and i hope that by linking them here and yelling at everyone to COMMENT DAMMIT they might actually do it
seriously though any comment means a lot. most people who read a fic donât even give a kudos. even if the fic wasnât top tier, if you didnât dislike it, hand over some kudos!! and if you liked it, comment!!!! even if the comment is one singular heart emoji it will be appreciated. if the comment just says âgreat fic!â the author will be happy. your comment doesnât have to be this long winded gushing or analysis.
so many authors quit writing or lose motivation because the comments are few and far in between or just sometimes nonexistent. trust me when i say authors donât care about how long or cool or smart sounding your comment is i promise!!!
i hope that mmmaybe recommending fics and telling people to comment might help fics i really like get more support maybe. and i, points at you reading this, hope that you will listen!!!at least a littleâŠ.at least sum kudosâŠ.
#if u have the ability to reply to my reblog saying how much you loved the fic i recommended comment on the fic itself so the author can see!#especially since the rise of ai writing and seeing ai fics out there can be disheartening#make sure you let your writers know you appreciate them#you never know they might one day write a sequel bc your comment touched them#or might get the motivation to make more works.#(âbut donât just comment bc you expect something out of it btw. sometimes the author might be too intimidated to reply ive seen that before)#im a huge yapper. if you canât tell. lmfao.#and i mostly comment on guest. like 99% of the time because the fics are either really embarrassing#or i get nervous about them knowing me/finding my tumblr and thinking im cringw#bc i admire authors so much. and I get that nervousness! given I experience it!!! but guest mode EXISTS!!! most work allows you to comment#on guest mode!! the author CANT see the email you use for it!!! the only reason they even ask is to give you notifs if theres a reply to it!#a comment is still a comment even if on guest or an alt or your main#even if the fic is embarrassing shameful depraved smut you can log out and comment on guest. even if itâs embarrassing#because the author still worked HARD. itâs so hard to write. people donât give enough credit to fic authors who do it for free#i had an account (now super abandoned) that had over 400k words. and that didnât include wips#i reallg do struggle to write because i took a break for so long!!! i can write but not nearly as much as I used to!!! and it sucks!!!#support your authors guys. 1k words is an hour for the first draft at MINIMUM and another hour for revision and editing. and people get#pissy if a fic chapter is less than 3-4k words for some reason. thatâs 6-8 hours of work at MINIMUM. likely so much more because thereâs#also plotting and brainstorming and So. Much. Editing. stressing out over words and sentence structure. it takes so much time out of your#day. the only oneshot i have posted on this account is 2460 words. and it took me SEVEN HOURS#seven hours!!!! thatâs a lot!!!! and for authors that have school or demanding jobs that kind of time is hard to come by!!!!!#and I hope i have convinced at least one of you to listen and go okay you know what. i will. because even if itâs a silly comment itâs loved#tldr support your local fanfic authors of you will be so stabbed. by me#fanfiction#fanfic#archive of our own#ao3#comment on fics#wick fic recs#thatâs the rec tag btw. wow custom tags AGAIN i know. im doing what i thought i never would
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Something about how Fire & Ice give up on going after Pearl directly, and instead both arrow in on dissing Marina-
Something about, Pearl having no shame at all, outright telling Frye right off that Off the Hook is here to âtake controlâ and then literally talking over Fryeâs turn. Fryeâs snarking on how Pearl isnât the boss here and no oneâs cheering for her, ignored. How she goes after both Frye and Shiver asking where Fryeâs big friend is to help her pass this test, moving right on to saying theyâre both just goons making a mess anyway, little fish who should stay in they're bowl, but
that seems to give Frye the idea of hitting back with the âwhoâs backing you? Imaginary friends?â line⊠like Marina doesnât even count as a music partner- or a friend?
Pearl literally yaps about Marina being divine, one of a kind, voice so fine, big mind- raps the lines off her cuff and the heart that's proudly pinned there
And Frye and Shiver go TARGET DETECTED. They lock onto Marina.
Shiver doesnât bother trying to needle Marina about Pearl, the way their partners were each doing- if Pearl has no shame then at least she DOES still have a weakness, a soft spot, a thing she openly cares about- something they can try riling her up over
(problem: Pearl actually has all the confidence in Marina as a musician, partner, and performer. She's WATCHED Marina be all those things for YEARS now)
In the end Frye and Shiver just rile up the gay feels. Because Marinaâs been living with a rapper who LOVES hyping her up even when theyâre not on stage- Pearl who said sheâd cut a fish for Marina. And if you donât come to Inkopolis with a lot of self confidence, well then getting some from your girlfriend is fine too Â
But itâs cute that Pearlâs still so obvious about being Marina's no. 1 fan that Fire & Ice thought they could use it against her XD
#splatoon 3#pearl houzuki#marina ida#pearlina#.#suffer no fools#suffer from the og gays instead#forever i love that Off the Hook just don't have drama with each other#LOTS of things they don't agree on#plenty of teasing#some not fun fights over their music#(when it comes to our art we have to be true to ourselves! NO compromises!) <- marina that's so sweet u guys only fight when you#AGREE it's IMPORTANT and that you both SHOULD#but otherwise?#they just are best buddies#......bedfellows even....#.....canon sharers of the same bed....#like their careers are a thing they do bc they like doing it with each other#(ahaha whoops the phrasing there uhh)#they like spending TIME together#OUTSIDE of music and band stuff#i love that for them#they're not family or childhood neighbors#they just picked each other up one day like 'oh hey cool this is what i've been missing'#:)#i love them
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ok, well. if last time i talked about parallels between near & light, i guess itâs only fair that this time i talk about parallels between mello & misa. yap central on this blog lately.
the main thing that stands out the most about mello & misa, and the reason why i will forever Defend them and their place in the story, is that in my mind they both function in a similar way on a narrative level: namely, both of them are incredibly active wild-card characters that keep the action going and the story moving forward when the other main characters like light, L, & near start getting too passive.
notably, while i often see this trait praised in mello, usually in the context of a comparative criticism of near for his overly-abundant passivity, i have also seen it used as a criticism of misa's character, that she breaks up the status quo of DN too significantly and thereby makes the story feel less realistic. this last point in particular is an odd argument to make imo, as if anything misa's presence only increases the realism of DN by adding some extra luck/random chance into the story in a way that is ultimately still character-motivated and thus easier for the audience to go along with-- something DN in general is very good at, often introducing elements through pure chance but keeping them grounded in characters enough that you almost don't even notice.
take light meeting naomi misora, for example: the only reason he runs across her at all is because he offers to run an errand for his mom on a bored laundry day, literally stumbling across her right at the exact moment she is divulging important insights she is literally the only person capable of making about kira. yet this moment does not stand out as particularly aggravating or out of place in the story, as ultimately the only reason why light is able to get out of that situation is his own quick thinking and ability to calm himself while under immense pressure, squeezing his way out of a potentially run-ending situation he didn't even know existed moments prior.
(not a fan of that big joel video, if you couldn't tell. lmao.)
point is, mello & misa both fulfill about the same narrative function in the story by being so aggressive in their actions, catching the others off guard even if their plans aren't as well thought out or careful as they could otherwise be. they're both incredibly passionate, dedicated characters as well, tough enough to take the hit when it inevitably comes, and in my opinion neither of them are nearly as stupid as the other MCs like to make them out to be. to some degree, i think both of them are aware of the fact that they can't win at the Mind Game Cold War Bullshit the others are inclined to get involved in, so they instead choose to carve out their own place in the story through sheer perseverance alone.
which, speaking of passion: one of the most interesting parallels i think you can make between mello & misa is the ways in which they idolize their respective heroes, misa's obviously being light while mello's is L. allow me to elaborate.
as this post points out, DN has some very interesting use of its religious imagery & theming, and in particular its use of christian/catholic gothic imagery in its story and especially its art. however, as op notes, a lot of this is quite superficial, ascribing to an aesthetic of "kitschy Catholicism," that was characteristic of a lot of early 2000s japanese goth style. yet, while i admit that a more serious consideration of religious elements in the art & story could add some interesting flavor to the story, i also think that, regardless of intention, the superficiality of DN's religious elements works really well in the context of this particular story. as i stated in my tags on that post: light is a superficial god. he is a fake, a scam, some idiot human that stumbled across the powers of a real shinigami and got his head up his ass about it. and a lot of the arcs of other characters in DN is about their reaction to light's claims-- whether they choose to follow him (e.g. misa, mikami), follow somebody else (e.g. mello), or follow nobody at all (e.g. near, also kinda soichiro?), and the implications that has for their lives and personalities.
this is all to say that while you can, on a surface level, connect misa & mello pretty easily as the two aggressive, fashionable blondes of the series, i also think that these somewhat superficial traits betray a greater connection between the two of them. if we understand the christian/catholic elements of misa & mello's fashion as a demonstration of their connection to not just a higher power but a lie, a superficial deity simply reflecting the sunlight of powers greater than himself, then i think we have great insight into another key element of both their characters.
do not forget: in the world of DN, heaven & hell do not exist. at least in the context of death itself, the realm & lore of the shinigami reign supreme, a point which the DN musical makes even more overt: "Isn't it a laugh? / Isn't it a shame? / Thinking there is someone in heaven to blame?" and "Going through the motions / as if there will be a reward / Oh, while we stay eternally bored!" (BEST SONGGG.) everyone is destined for the same fate of MU, the same void of nothingness awaits all. no reward, no punishment, no greater deity looking down upon us than the bored, slothful shinigami, lazing about in their realm and picking people off only when necessary (for the most part).
misa & mello are thus dedicating themselves to false idols, and we can see the negative effects this has on them in almost every facet of their character-- particularly for mello, who is perhaps more self-aware and has more of a mixed emotional outlook on his idol, but maybe even to a more extreme degree for misa. i keep going back to this idea of equating boredom with depression in DN, but where light/L/near are all "bored" in a very quiet, passive, stewing-in-bed late at night kinda way, misa & mello are characteristically a lot more aggressive and intense about it-- while neither of them are super overtly suicidal, necessarily, their actions still betray a distinct lack of care for their own safety or lives, expressing the same thematic sentiment as the others. even if they still don't straight up say it, through their actions they're a lot louder about not liking themselves, and seem to take the problems they see in the world more personally, shouldering the blame as a failure within themselves instead of projecting it outward like the others: e.g. light taking his unhappiness at the emptiness of his life at the start of the story & placing the blame on the world for "going to shit" & humanity's moral failings, versus misa being willing to literally & figuratively give up her life for KIRA the second he demands it, whether that be in the form of shinigami eyes or killing her own friends w/o second thought-- all because he was the only thing to bring justice to her own parents' deaths, an almost undoubtedly traumatizing/horrible experience for her considering how much value she places on KIRA/light afterwards.
to clarify, this is not to say that all of these characters are actually and literally depressed and/or suicidal, though you could certainly make that argument for some/all of them-- this is just one way that i think you could interpret their roles in the plot, and their thematic attachment to the story. even if DN isn't all that interested in considering the True Moral Answer to ethics/the justice system/human society/etc, it definitely takes at least some interest in the emotional viewpoints of characters in relation to those concepts, so i think this is a fair enough approach to take. or to say this another way, it's less about justifying the claim that "the world is shit," and more about trying to understand the emotional motivation & experience of feeling like the world is shit, if that makes sense.
that being said...speaking more on the whole "not liking themselves," thing: even if she doesn't say it aloud often, if ever, i think that misa is deeply aware of the fact that she was not supposed to live this long, that her existence at all is a pure stroke of luck that let her live on past her destined date. she dedicates herself to light so fully, not even necessarily expecting reciprocation (though she at least reserves herself the possibility of such), because being a disciple to her god at least gives her life some kind of purpose. similarly, i think mello is also aware of just how out of reach the one thing he wants is, how his desperation in and of itself is ironically the one thing keeping him from surpassing near and truly being #1. it's important to note that pre-time skip misa & post-skip mello are almost exactly the same age, around 20 years old at the time of their main arcs. they're immature, and in the case of mello especially, are lashing out at the world in whatever way they can because they know they don't quite fit into it in the way that they want to or should. regardless of the intent behind it, mello & misa both still make the conscious decision to kill with the DN-- perhaps in a way that still keeps their humanity, at least following near's logic, but it's a decision to end a human life either way.
anyways, going back to my previous point, this "worshiping of false idols," idea has some interesting implications-- for misa & mello yes, but also for L and the ways in which he contrasts again light, as under this logic mello's treatment kind of inherently gives L a similar status as a sort of false god/idol. which-- actually makes a lot of sense? or at the very least, viewing wammy's house as a kind of mystery cult a la the eleusinian mysteries is a neat approach to take. L & light's mutual alienation from humanity fits them both filling a false god status, anyway. also there's another thread of analysis you could follow here where near is instead fit into the role of the person mello is fixated on which AAAAAAAAA has interesting implications but jesus fucking christ, this post is long. some thoughts for another time, i suppose.
#death note#astronaut rambles#misa amane#mello#mihael keehl#mihael when he keehls you.........#damn u choc#the whole 'certified yapper' thing was kind of a joke a few posts ago fucking christ what happened to me#this ended up being about a lot more than just mello & misa oopsie#long post#had to pause in the middle of writing this cuz that ryuk/rem song is way too fucking good goddamn#...which also accidentally ended up being a couple days break. whoops#hope this one is still coherent i fear i got a bit repetitive even as the main points were quite simple =3=''#i should talk about the shinigami at some point... rem desperately needs some good meta around here aklsdfjk#sighh. all in due time#gotta post this now though so i can stop staring at it#ig it's bedtime for apples now. gotta go eepy so i can go grocery shopping tomorrow. :/#it's okay gotta feed yourself somehow#love you guys take care!!
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Me: I joke about writing the same McCoy centric story over and over again in different ways
Me: and like. I love doing it and imma keep doing it because it makes me happy.
Me: but also. I do sometimes wonder if it's like. A little Much.
Me: like maybe I should branch out or something
Me: [reads another fundamental and extremely insulting misread of McCoy's character by someone who is clearly making a Choice to cast McCoy as the villain, because they have to get him out of the way of spirk, because they're too???? idk immature??? to realize that even when you're in a relationship with one person, other ppl can and SHOULD still be important to you]
Me: lmao I hope I AM too much actually!!!! I hope it is 100% obnoxious how much I love that doctor!!!!! Time to write more versions of the same story of McCoy being forced to realize that he is loved and cared for!!!!!!
Me: I KNOW MY NICHE AND IMMA DIE IN THAT NICHE, THANKS
#mine#not putting this in the mcc*y/tr*k tags bc i am venting not trying to start đŸđ [discourse]#but woof. WOOF. i want you to know that if you hate the doc then sp*ck and k*rk would hate YOU#like seeing someone say they're sp*ck or jim coded and then say flagrantly absurd things about mcc*y.......u are garbage coded actually.#sp*ck and k*rk would literally never#i will never understand how so many ppl can ship mcc*yâs besties and then???? hate on mcc*y?????????#i block LIBERALLY so i have a lot of b*nes haters blocked already tbf#i just stumble across one in the wild sometimes alas#that mindset btw is how that counseling fic came about lmao - we were talking about how if sp*rk dated they'd still drag mcc*y EVERYWHERE#romantic or platonic he is THEIRS just like they're HIS. it's a triumvir*te my guy#any two of them hook up they're still making the third stay at their side 24/7 lolllllll#how can you claim to love sp*ck and k*rk and so fundamentally misunderstand them and their relationship with b*nes#genuinely tragique#you are missing out on so much fun#we are not watching the same show lmao <3 leave my doctor alone <3 leave his bfs alone too <3#me: i should let things go / sp*ck: have you instead considered being a petty bitch / me: what / sp*ck: they can get fucked and die mad đ#me: ur so right sp*ck / sp*ck: i usually am#guess who literally just found out that if the word is contained w/in a longer tag it now shows up if you search that word!!!!!#that change very well may not be recent but i just found out!!!! anyway. asterisks added.#i give up. tumblr keeps putting this in the fucjing tags. hellsite (full of hatred)#eta: didn't think to make this non-rebloggable earlier but now it is lmao. it's just a vent post y'all <3
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mark hears your giggling before he ever sees you. it felt weird being at this party without you, but now that he hears you, so satisfied with whatever plans you'd strung together with his friends... he finds himself giddy with excitement. donghyuck tells him to stop looking for you quickly, acting as though you hadn't given yourself away.
he hears your voice before anyone else joins in: "haaaappy birthday to you..."
and then he sees you, carrying a cake with lit candles. the rest joins in, and mark's smiling harder than before. he sees the way the light reflects in your eyes as you make your way forward, leading the charge. he knows the cake in your hands is homemade, too, because you'd been casually asking him little questions for weeks now. what flavor he'd want, the colors, any decorations...
you could have literally bought him a crummy store-bought cupcake and he'd love you as much as he does now.
you set the cake down in front of him, and for a moment, he just wants to quickly kiss you before going back to the party. but he feels the way you lean in for a second, giving him a lingering kiss on the cheek.
"happy birthday, cutie," you giggle, "i love you."
he doesn't say it back--not now. not unless he wants to get teased by his friends for how in love with you he really is. when he says it to you later, you just smile and give him this cheeky "i know."
"all i have to do is look at you to know," you tease, stealing a kiss from him during this quiet moment the two of you have together. you giggle, leaning against him when he curls an arm around you. "no wonder your friends tease you so much."
(and his subsequent giggles say it loud and proud, too: he adores you with everything he is.)
#nonranghaes.thoughts#nct x reader#nct x you#nct x y/n#mark lee x reader#mark lee x y/n#mark lee x you#mark lee fluff#nct fluff#u cant hear me screaming but happy birthday to my fave silly guy#he is so silly and smart and fascinating.... he Says Things and ppl make fun of him for it but i understand so thats all tht matters /hj#also dont expect me to write a ton for nct haha i just love mark a lot <3 hes so silly and cute i adore him#nonranghaes.nct
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Cross Guild Headcanon: How they react to bugs/insects
Mihawk:
Totally unafraid of whatever bug he finds. Venomous, poisonous, lots of legs, no legs, winged, flightless; it doesnât matter, he hasnât met a bug scarier than a person
Will pick up random bugs and examine them, absolutely unconcerned about stingers or pincers
Does his own taxidermy and has an extensive collection of strange insects heâs found on his travels.
Whatever bugs he doesnât take home he sketches and writes about in meticulously kept journals
His favorite bug: the camel spider- vicious, unloved, solitary
Crocodile:
Doesnât really think about bugs and is unbothered by them.
Except for scorpions and tarantulas. If he sees a tarantula on the wall or in the corner of the room heâs leaving. And then quietly sending someone else to get rid of it.
He will deny this fear. âWould a man who keeps man-eating beasts be afraid of some small⊠many leggedâŠvenomous creature?â Yes. He would.
Had an unbelievably uncomfortable meeting with Mihawk one time where he met at Mihawkâs castle and the whole wall was lined with scorpions. They never met at Mihawkâs place again.
His favorite bug: a dragonfly - eye-catching, quick, born from the water and lives in the light
Buggy:
Does not like any bug! If that thing flies at him, if it has too many legs, or looks pointy he will freak out.
He doesnât even like the most acceptable kinds of insects; ladybugs, butterflies, caterpillars, etc. It doesnât matter how harmless, if they have too many legs, he will not go near them.
When he was a kid, he used to collect them with Shanks. But he had a traumatic experience when he brought a spider back into their room and it released an egg sac that had hundreds of little spider babies.
After that incident, his relationship with bugs continued downhill. The straw that broke the camel spiderâs back was visiting an island with humongous insects and getting lost in the jungle for hours with wasps chasing him.
His favorite bug: If he was forced to choose, probably a butterfly (but at a distance!)- colorful, flashy, canât technically hurt him
#cross guild#dracule mihawk#sir crocodile#buggy the clown#one piece#headcanon#tw bugs#aye if u hate bugs donât look at the camel spider#just fair warning#buggy#I just love the idea of Mihawk just letting bugs crawl over his body and face and Crocodile and Buggy are just standing there like đ¶#Mihawk gardens so I put a lot of my own traits in him#I love finding little guys in the dirt#they are all my friends :3
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they are ignoring my big beautiful pathetic himbo wife and his cute little platypus tail that he has for some tank part reason im too dumb to understand why
#how can u laugh đż this is not a JOKE đŸâïžâïžâïž#love the way starscream was smiling and entertained by demo's people pleasing and having to make himself frown#so he can make demo even more exasperated by his apathy#'it's funny when he nags cyclonus but he can stfu around me pls '#part of what makes armada starscream so cool is demo taking a lot of the more pathetic sides of his ppl pleasing#starscream's ppl pleasing is more for competitive career (power) reasons and fear#demo's tries to be but also he just wants megatron to like him and be nice to him pls :(#whereas megs actually likes starscream and wants him to succeed one day just not today lol#and starscream is like no wtf ure weird i just want ur position . gtfo#it's like the one worker the manager wants to make a new manager one day but the worker hates it there & just does whats needed then leaves#& trains new ppl by being like 'yea so the fuckass manager likes it like this so if u see him then do that shit but heres how i do it lol'#new ppl being mini cons who hes like that cool younger adult to wholl send ppl home instantly if theyre sick & is chilled but professional#meanwhile demo is the suck up tryhard who just needs to put the fries in the bag bro#he wants to be manager so bad but hes also annoying and dumb and megs just wants him to leave his office so he can pretend 2 work#cyclonus is the broke guy who just goofs off bcs if he gets fired then he gets fired but they havent yet bcs theyre understaffed#n he knows it too. he sleeps on the job if it slows down for 1 second. but hes an adrenalin junkie who can get distracted#demo wants meg to want his effin cookje so freaking bad... i love pathetic men#sideways secretly has 3 jobs total & 2 of them are at their competitors' who pay better so he dgaf abt this one#he never picks up shifts and doesnt care abt working less hours. hes hust here for the drama tbh#he clocks in wondering if demo will ever get that megadck hes been bitching abt#he clocks out a disappointed fujoshi#it's ok bcs karen hot rod who works at their competitors comes storming in with his kids & needs rizzed up#by either starscream or sideways bcs they fucked up his kids' orders on purpose after hr gave them a spiel abt their long list of allergies#demolisher#starscream#cyclonus#transformers#maccadam#tf armada#sideways
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