#i love this so much i am crying
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RAINE'S OSCAR ART DROPPED BABE WAKE UP OSCAR OSCAR OSCAR LOOK OSCARRR
Hi pookies heres the long awaited Oscar drawing :3333
If you've seen my last post, i said there I assigned John, Arthur & Oscar as the sun moon and star
I wish ive been more creative with how i incorporate the star symbols on my Oscar's design but it's okay I can always do another redesign :3
Stars symbolize hope, destiny and guidance. Which SCREAMS Oscar doesn't it? Oscar being Arthur's hope?? Guidance?? Im so ill
I can't decide whether I want to assign the daffodil or blue iris to oscar bc both flowers is so him!!!! For now he gets blue irises. I'll draw him with daffodils next time ofc
You may have noticed the ring he's wearing. well apparently a ring on the middle finger symbolizes life purpose!! I drew Oscar with a ring with the moon symbol...im sure by now you know which character that symbol represents (its arthur)
My Oscar is definently going to have a redesign soon as im not fully content with this design. Im thinking maybe embroided star symbols on his garb... Can this kind of garb have embroidery? Bc i literally have not seen it have any sort of pattern /genq
#i will collapse#oh no i already did#SURE THE STAR CROSS YOU DREW IS SO PRETTY I DONT MIND#i love this so much i am crying#oscar malevolent#malevolent podcast
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"...I'm not done telling you all the things that I wanted to say; there's still so much. It's been so long since anyone listened to me talk. Won't you stay?"
Heaven Official's Blessing, Vol 8
#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#hualian#tian guan ci fu#i was going to use the banquet quote#but xie lian's 'it's been so long since anyone listened to me' absolutely kills me every time#like he goes pretty much the entire story trying not to ask for anything#and when he finally breaks down and begs hua cheng to stay#it's not for any grand reason like safety or happiness or love#he just wants hua cheng to Be There#i am#devastated just thinking about it#excuse me while i cry about these two for the hundredth time#yallstart
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"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"
some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#I LOVE PLOTTING AND ALSO SCHEMING#listen i have a lot of feelings and i needed 2 process them and i do that by making art 2 target my mutuals directly#read my about it's there it's in the fineprint if we talk You Are Not Safe smile#i just . BITING BITING BITING this fic#the domesticity the grief the casual yet unfathomably deep soulmatism.......im ruined i tell u Ruined#so naturally i dropped everything#remember how i said lefts/rights r my enemy my beloathed my nemesis. MIRRORS MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE FHGDSAJFGJS I WANTED DEATH#i was like this is incorrect. no this is correct. flips them around in my head. no im wrong again actually#purgatory tbh but we got there (watch me be wrong again tho if i am wrong again i think i will Cry)#anyway!!! i don't have much else to say except pls read the fic and show jinx some love they 1000% deserve it this fic 1000% deserves it#i could only draw so many scenes but i would draw all of it if i could#fr i ws so paranoid abt accuracy lmao cut 2 footage of me looking up rice cooker models and wtf the colour 'carnelian' was#i hope i got everything right i hope i did it justice :'>#also if any1 mentions how megumi's arm in 3 is at an awkward angle. look me in the eye and tell me youve comfortably cuddled with someone#i will call u a liar
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It's like I blinked and "Haha I'm going to kill myself" became a funny joke to make again, or an alright thing to say ironically. You guys stop that. You'll feel better for not saying it, I promise.
#this is also a psa to please not put that in tags for my art#i LOVE the gushing and the “oh my god my heart is in a blender i am laying down on the floor crying sobbing screaming” stuff!#just not the kms stuff. it took me a while to unlearn that habit and some of you guys need to do the same#it's so much funnier to say stuff like IM GONNA EAT A WHOLE GIRAFFE#or other such hyperbole#i promise#mango talks
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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The butterflies in my stomach going CRRRAZZY over him…
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#THE FUCKING SOB I JUST LET OUT BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE FREAKY ASS FERAL SMIRK OF HIS#HIS EYES. OH. MY. GOD. I AM SO IN LOVE??????#need this man to stop playing with my heart this way because what do you mean that every time i see him i cry????#also… HANDS 👹👹👹👹 HIS HANDS 👹👹👹👹#don’t make me talk… it’s better if i stay silent… because my thoughts every time i see his hands are so impure…
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I don’t talk about my love for Kira Nerys too often because. Look. I think if DS9 handles anything well, it’s Kira, hands down.
Her character development is a work of art. She is so traumatised, so angry, so beaten down and STILL FIGHTING at the start. She struggles so much with her PTSD, with the idea that she is ever allowed to be in anything but attack mode…
And then, slowly, gradually, she becomes a whole new person. She laughs, she smiles, she makes corny jokes, she does dumb fun things for the sake of enjoying herself. She has friends, she has a family, she is surrounded by love and joy and HOPE.
Even in the middle of second war, she’s DIFFERENT now. She’s not the same miserable angry person she was, afraid to let go of the vigilant surivival instincts that kept her alive for so long. She’s come back to life as a person who has something to live for.
She has done terrible things. Her hands are stained with blood. She is never going to be able to forget her trauma or the suffering, both her own and that of her people, nor the suffering she inflicted while fighting for her freedom. But she recovers. She heals. She carves out an existence where she is truly, genuinely happy to be alive.
I don’t need to talk about Kira as much as some other characters because this all happens on screen. It’s right there, and it’s beautiful and perfect.
Kira Nerys goes from a person who cannot conceive of herself outside of the horrors she has suffered, inflicted, and fought against, to someone for whom her trauma is just one part of the larger picture, a piece of a rich and vibrant tapestry that is now filled, overwhelmingly, with joy.
Kira Nerys is like, hands down, bar none, one of, if not THE best characters Star Trek has ever created. I love her so much. She is just, completely and utterly perfect, especially in her flaws.
#stella talks#star trek ds9#star trek#kira nerys#.but see I don’t feel compelled to write fics about Kira.#.because I think her writing on the show is already pretty damn close to perfect.#.thanks in no small part to Nana visitor absolutely locking in on exactly who Kira was and should be.#.like she isn’t perfect because she’s flawless.#.she’s super fucking flawed.#.but she’s perfect because she is so flawed and so human and she grows so much and learns to thrive again.#.and god her whole character is just… she’s perfect okay.#.I love her so much I love her I love her I love her I love her.#.like the reason School Live is my favourite manga.#.is because it takes these deeply traumatised kids and then slowly. gradually. shows the#.shows them finding hope and reasons to live and learning to thrive in an absolute nightmare.#.the epilogue made me cry because it showed that they had found ACTUAL HAPPINESS after the hell they endured.#.I am such a sucker for stories about people learning to heal from trauma okay.#.and Kira Nerys is built on a foundation of trauma and she goes and builds a fucking castle on top of it from all the love inside her.#.I can’t emphasise enough how much I love her.#trek meta
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kevin getting angry at neil for not taking his health seriously and telling neil to run then promising to teach him every night and keeping neil's binder safe without looking what's in it and calling wymack to make sure neil is okay after winter break and offering to talk about riko if neil wanted to
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#kevin day#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#kevneil#we've talked about their relationship so much recently#but im in the middle of making anothre post#and i just remembered him calling wymack!!!!!! to check on neil!!!!!!!!!#and before that telling neil not to go bc he knows what riko will do to him#and 'jean will help you if you help him'#and oh my fucking god i am crying losing my mind dying#I LOVE HIM#I LOVE THEM
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Nothing Beats Pizza On A Cliff
Right? And some things are said...
Part ONE | Part TWO | Part THREE | Part FOUR | Part FIVE | Part SIX | Part SEVEN | Part EIGHT | Part NINE | Part TEN | Part TWELVE
#vashwood#trigun maximum#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash the stampede#wolfwood lives au#i'm sorry it took me literal ages#and i love this part so much#i hate it too#i hate drawing characters sitting and talking#and i forgot how time consuming comics as these are#but man i missed colours#and i am forever sorry for where this is going#but again over and over and over - they will be together in the end#it will just get difficult first#and i will cry drawing some of the last parts#lays down#hope you guys like!!#also#i adore olive pizza#las!art
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hello denizens of tumblr i come with humble offerings
they wish to romance you
#HIHIHIIIIHIIII ITS BEEN A WHILE!!!!#IVE STARTED COLLEGE!!!!#AND IM SO BUSY BUT IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN#BIOLOGY IS SO FUN TOO!!!#I love love love science and biology#what was I saying??#oh yeah HELLOO!!!!#IM STILL ALIVE AND KICKING#crying about statistical inferences but still alive#im going to be busy for a long time but i promise i still care y’all#and if i left any one of you on read i am sorry#im going to respond to all of you in just a minute i prommy life has just been insane so far#insanely good and bad ways#ive learned about people i thought i knew and about subjects i never thought i would understand#okay okay okay enough treating my blog like my diary#thats what my sketchbook is for!! xD#fnaf#fnaf fanart#dca#dca fandom#the dca#the daycare attendant#fnaf sb#security breach#sun fnaf#moon fnaf#sundrop#moondrop#love ya’ll make sure to take care of yourselves#chicken doodles
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I need to talk about Charles Rowland and his love for Edwin Payne.
Charles saying he can't say he's in love with Edwin back doesn't mean he isn't in love with Edwin, and it doesn't mean he doesn't love Edwin in the same way that Edwin loves him.
He is just saying he needs to work out what he does feel.
Charles died when he was 16. He's still a child. Nobody at 16 knows what it means to be in love.
And, on top of that, he grew up in an abusive household with a warped understanding of what love means. His dad was abusive to his mum, so he wouldn't understand what being "in love" is compared to someone that grew up within a stable household. He's never had the time to unpack what that means about his ability to love. He's worried that he might end up like his dad, and he absolutely would never want to hurt Edwin like his dad hurts his mum.
Charles has a lot of confusion about love. He loves his mum, he knows that, and he loves his dad, despite everything he put him and his mum through.
And, on top of all of this, he grew up during a difficult period in history. He was a teenager in Britain in the 80's. The 80's were a notoriously homophobic period of time, and I'm not saying that Charles is dealing with internalised homophobia but growing up during a period of time where the homophobic rhetoric was rife would have an impact on anyone. Especially a confused 16 year old boy who didn't know much kindness in life.
Charles knows he loves Edwin more than anything and anyone else in his life, and he knows the love he feels for him is different to the love he feels for his mum. He just doesn't know whether what he feels for Edwin constitutes as being "in love" with him.
And he needs time to figure that out. That's what he is telling Edwin: he's telling him that he is the most important person in the world to him and that he does love him but he needs to work out what that means. And Edwin completely understands that because Charles put it so eloquently and in a way that Edwin could understand. This isn't the usual unreciprocated love trope. They are each other's person, and they're trying to navigate what that means for each of them.
Overall, Charles loves Edwin and Edwin loves Charles. And they're going to figure out what that means together in time. Because that's what they always do: they figure things out.
Together.
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#netflix#dead boy detective agency#i am obsessed with them#their dynamic is so special#i will actually cry if i think about them too much#their love is so important#and they love each other so deeply#theyre soulmates in the most literal sense#because theyre two souls that were brought together
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CENTURY OF LOVE (2024) - Episode 10
#century of love#century of love the series#sanvee#daouoffroad#daou pittaya#offroad kantapon#marigif#didn't cry this hard for an episode since last twilight ep 9#anyway col with my stand in best shows in 2024 so far argue with the wall#i am gonna miss them so much
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i need help with vet bills (again).
hi. for those of you who remember, earlier this year i asked for donations to help me afford toos' vet bills, who we found out through your help had kidney failure, and again with your help we got her on medication for it. unfortunately it wasn't enough, and we lost her. and then shortly after, dexter began deteriorating, which we put down to his grief of losing toos - she kept him young, he followed her everywhere, he only played because of her, he only ate when she ate, etc. without her he just stopped. and then he started to have seizures and fits daily. we got him blood tests, but he was suffering so badly. we made the decision to put him down. i didn't ask for donations this time, because i was so deeply embarrassed to ask for help again. but we are still recovering financially from that, as well as the parts of toos bills that didn't get covered from donations. my mother hasn't worked for a very long time, she's disabled and very sick, and she receives PIP from the government that only covers her monthly medications that are not covered by the NHS. my father retired early to become her full time carer, and we are living off his pension. i am too disabled to work, but because my mother already receives PIP and i live with them, the government are resistent to giving me any help - so i have zero income, and rely entirely on my parents.
this is jenny. she's a 14 year old cairn terrier, who loves when we garden because she wants to help dig holes. she helped us bury dexter and toos, digging their graves for them with my dads help. she's an angel, and loves people so much she likes to escape under the fence and join other families for awhile. one time she got into someones back garden and asked to come in as they were eating lunch. she really hates flies, and will try to bite them out of the air (she has never succeeded but i believe she will one day). she will rub her face against you until you start stroking her, and will growl and even bark if you stop! we don't have the money to take jenny to the vets, for a checkup or for anything they may want to do. this has been an ongoing issue, but toos and dexter took priority, and it hasn't been a bother to her. she existed as normal for a long time, but that's since changed.
jenny has this lump in her mouth, it is larger than the picture shows, but she is a nightmare to force open her mouth since this got so big, i think it's uncomfortable or painful for her. she can't properly close her lips now, and it has pushed all her front teeth away, misshaping her mouth, and sometimes it bleeds profusely. eating has become difficult for her, she can't eat anything hard, and currently will only eat soft human foods like rice, scrambled egg chopped up so small she doesn't have to chew, and things like soups and gravy. she's lost a lot of weight, and i'm getting frightened. to add onto it, i've found lumps like this across her body. i've done as much research as i can, and i believe it to be an oral tumor, it fits, and it looks right, and it spreading across her body is called 'full staging'. and going by all i've read - they will want to remove them in surgery. according to my research, this will cost anywhere from £585 - £4,740 for just the lump in her mouth. that's not including any checkup/test costs, or the other lumps on her body.
she hasn't been to the vet yet, i don't have any secure goal or bills to share, just my assumptions and beliefs from researching myself online. my parents refuse to take her because we can't afford it. i want to save up money, have it in my bank, and show them that we can help her now, before it gets worse, or it's too late. as i said before, i don't have any income, so the only way i can do this is with help.
here's a link to my paypal.me
the icon is a little mouse, and the @ is rivellon
i struggled so badly posting the first post like this for toos. i felt so guilty and embarrassed and ashamed. but i have no choice again, i want to help jenny. i don't want her to suffer. and selfishly, i can't handle losing another dog so soon. this year has been waking nightmare, and i need your help to stop it getting even worse.
please reblog and share, even if you can't donate.
thank you for reading.
#animal illness#animal sickness#pet illness#pet sickness#vet bills#vet help#i don't really know what to tag this as. i don't remember what i did before#and i don't want to go look for my toos post because it will hurt so bad to see it i think#im on hiatus because i cant deal with this and be here right now. but im gonna queue/schedule this a bit i think#im sorry for asking for help again. but please consider helping jenny. she's so lovely#and she's keeping me alive right now#losing toos and dexter ripped me to shreds and shes the only reason i havent completely broken down#i am absolutely terrified of what will happen if we lose her too#god i feel so fucking guilty. i can't stop fucking crying. i hate this so much#im so sorry guys. please reblog and consider donating even a tiny amount#tiny amounts add up yknow#anyway . i should post this now instead of hiding in the tags
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Hydro Archon 🌧️🌊
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and they were galpals
#oh i am SO predictable#alternative captiob to this post: welll... good luck babes!#but idk if the dndadders like chappel roan☹️#also lawl this is gonna sound SO stupid but as a lesbian this is. so INSANELY important to me😭#i will write so much fanfiction#for the firsy time in my life#i will write an essay anf publish it when s3 ends#if theyre not canon i will cry myself to sleep until the day i die#dndads#dungeons and daddies#apple pie#IDK I SAW SOMEONE PITCH THAT AD THEIR SHIP NAME AND A PART OF ME MELTED#Kelsey Grammar#is it with an e or an a?? nobody knows#Trudy Trout#someone notify my asap whrn we collectively agree on a ship name#the peachyville horror#peachyville#love them so so so much#god dammit they did it again#hey siri play heaven is a place on earth and do it NOW#me and my girl when we're literally trudy and kelsey
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feeling normal about this
#he’s where he would have wanted to be!! like! what if I cry#I love charles so much#and he loved arthur <3 he knew him so well#as usual I am incoherent when it comes to my rdr2 posts#LIKE! do you get it??!#charles smith#rdr2#charthur#rdr2 epilogue#rdr2 spoilers#red dead redemption 2#my posts
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