#and oh my fucking god i am crying losing my mind dying

[foxstens]

kevin getting angry at neil for not taking his health seriously and telling neil to run then promising to teach him every night and keeping neil's binder safe without looking what's in it and calling wymack to make sure neil is okay after winter break and offering to talk about riko if neil wanted to

[pippin-katz]

The Awardist - Nicholas Galitzine & Taylor Zakhar Perez

I have to write down the best bits and record my thoughts while listening to this because I am completely losing my mind over what is our first real interview with the boys that was recorded in real time.

27:55 - right off the bat we got a great inside joke/reference from the host that had me cackle

28:19 - taylor being happy to see their faces and nicholas immediately shutting him down like "well i'm not happy to see taylor's face"

28:40 - taylor joking about putting a post-in note over nick's face lmfao

29:30 - the way they don't want to talk over each other, it's giving alex's bedroom flashbacks

29:40 - nick being like "oh! oh, it's good!" when dipping into the online response when the movie released lmfao 😆

30:33 - the silence following the social media question where they were apparently nodding followed by taylor saying they were texting each other like "mate" "mate" back and forth

31:20 - THEY TALKED ABOUT THE SIGNING WARS

31:44 - nicholas calling taylor "this little fucker" had me dying cause me and @meraki-yao were literally referring to him as that in our conversation on ig yesterday

32:00 - nicholas genuinely asking taylor "what possessed you to do this?"; it's giving storage closet in the children's hospital vibes when henry's like "why do you dislike me?"

33:04 - "take it nick" immediately upon being asked the dense question regarding fans reacting to their portrayals of henry and alex, and the way that nicholas laughs and stutters makes me think that taylor totally did that on purpose to mess with him lmfao

34:00 - taylor stopping to talk to fans regardless of where he is or where he's going and specfically mentioning how meaningful it was that people have said *TW* they were contemplating suicide when they read the book/watched the movie and that it helped them 🥺

35:40 - the host referred to the film as "a coming out story", which i don't really agree with as a label because the coming out portion is an added piece of their relationship as two public figures, but their love is the actual story

36:40 - nicholas referring to the film as "wholesome and funny" made me smile so much because it truly is wholesome

37:18 - not the host making the "top to bottom" joke 😭

37:58 - nicholas and taylor have talked about their friendship with each other and how they instantly clicked; nick knew within a few minutes of rehearsal that taylor was "his buddy" 🥺

38:41 - catch me squaring up with everyone who has made nicholas self conscious and self deprecating about doing so much intimacy work on the screen that he refers to it as "basically his thing" like that's all he's recognized for; i am so ready to punch some motherfuckers 😡

39:10 - "it's so fun now, seeing my mate at all these awards and stuff"; catch me fucking crying

39:24 - not taylor misremembering the "nicholas or joey" question as "who was the better kisser"; he totally combined the "is nicholas a good kisser" question with the "who has your heart tonight" question

40:05 - taylor talking about matthew's background in theatre and how they got to actually rehearse with each other; i will never stop being insanely grateful that matthew is a theatre guy

40:55 - the way i said "oh my god" out loud because i was so excited by the question

41:14 - improvised the "physicality" of the store room; i.e. they just fell on top of each other and clamored around 😂

41:32 - the way i literally gasped so hard that i started coughing when nicholas called taylor "tay", i am not even fucking joking, that was so fucking cute 😭

43:42 - fucking wheezed upon realizing where the question going

44:02 - the knowing way taylor was like "i will take this one" lmfao

45:10 - not me going so red from second hand embarrassment 🫣

45:44 - taylor bringing the jockstrap that nicholas wears in bottoms, and nicholas immediately adding "i won't even go into mary & george" 😂

47:51 - taylor finishing nicholas' sentence about matthew's direction for the cake scene; sharing a braincell lol

48:36 - taylor's dog passed away the night of the first day of filming like wow, that fucking sucks 🥺😭

49:05 - "everyone's looking at me with these sad eyes" made me so sad but then taylor said "do you want some tea?" in a terrible british accent lmfao

49:50 - nicholas complimenting and boosting taylor's performance while having such a hard time emotionally 🥺

50:49 - taylor bringing up running through the museum; i can hear the smile in his voice while talking about it 😭

51:28 - they filmed the kensington palace fight and the red room the week after nicholas got covid

52:40 - oh my god, the way you can hear nick grinning as he throws taylor under the bus for the sequel question 😂

53:30 - taylor wants a second book to base the sequel off of

54:03 - taylor used they/them pronouns for casey!! see? he knows, it was totally nerves

55:20 - it felt like it was over too soon, i desperately need more of them PLEASE 😭

This is the greatest thing that's happened in like, a month for me lmfao I am literally begging for more people to interview the boys about RWRB, I am so fucking desperate for more content of the two of them together. They are everything to me 🥺

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 46

chapter 70:

1. “And now the furniture is covered in dust, the books haven't been touched, the flowers are dead, the food has spoiled, and all the little pieces of himself from before feel foreign to him, like they're from a complete stranger.”

why did i blindly hope that crimson rivers couldn’t get more sad??

2. “Regulus couldn't have imagined it, then. Barty dying. Being dead. He was safe, aged out from reapings, and he would have made it if the war hadn't taken him.”

i want to gnaw on something. this is driving me crazy. i need to go eat dirt oh my god

3. every time i briefly forget about evan in this fic, his name is name dropped like a fucking bomb from the sky and i literally want to break a window

4. “And then there's Sirius, who barely knows what to do with his own pain, struggling to balance it, like he's not allowed to have it, feeling like an imposter for simply daring to grieve a man who wasn't his father as a father, as if that man didn't love him as a son.” the monty and sirius bond are still making me cry, actually

5. “I know I will be dead long before you read this,”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

once again, had to voice memo my freind

6. welcome back to another round of lily vs the fridge

7. mary: you love dorcas

lily: NOOO!!! only you babes 😘

mary: fucking dumbass

8. idk how to explain it, but i’m glad that mary and lily (and dorcas and marlene) had such complex relationships. they weren’t just the badass lesbians who had it all together and had a perfect relationship that scoffed at the silly boys. they love just as hard and fumble just as hard. their relationships are far from perfect and are very messy. i love it

9. “His dad watched these flowers bloom.

His dad never saw them die.”

*eye twitch*

10. maybe i shouldn’t blame dorcas, but i’m kinda pissed at her for not showing up to marlene’s funeral

11. “Barty got a funeral, too. Regulus planned that one, and you could tell, because it was done so delicately.”

screaming crying throwing up

what if i never spoke again? as like some sort of stupid protest? as like a statement to show how upset i am over bartys death? huh?? what would you do then bizzarestars????? huh?????????

12. “Vanity got honored as a war hero in the Hallow, a statue raised in her honor on the castle grounds, replacing Riddle's legacy.” i’m actually losing my mind. i want to shovel grass in my mouth and chew stained glass. idk or drink a latte or something

13. bro i’m so mad that sirius was 100% right about how james wouldn’t grieve around him, always wanting to take care of sirius, which is why he has to leave. i’m so mad. i’m so mad. this is gonna hurt

14. “”Fucking hell, James, we're still in love, so calm down. It's—it's not an actual breakup, you know."” -sirius

😭😭😭 they’re such soulmates omg

15. oh god it hurt more than i thought. james thought sirius was about to break the news about remus leaving. not sirius leaving. james never once considered that sirius would leave

16. SNSKDNJSNSMSKSM THEYRE KISSING YAY OMG JEGULUS KISSS OMGGG AFTER LITERALLY TWO MONTHS THEYRE KISSING AGAIN

chapter 71:

1. “[Regulus] is such a sweet boy, and yes, yes, [Effie] has seen him murder, but that matters very little to her, overall” me talking about my favorite characters 🥰

2. wolfstar

currently wanting to gnaw through concrete and plywood over them

3. “Remus also calls Lily every day. They're more discreet about it, not practically confessing their love and trying to make out through the screen the way James and Sirius do”

remus: this is my boyfreind sirius, and that’s my boyfreind’s boyfreind, james ♥️

4. remus thinking of sirius as a helicopter parent towards regulus has me in fucking tears omg that’s so funny

5. “That's the first time they have sex after the war, when Remus tells Sirius how he made Riddle pay for all that he'd done.”

idk, but that’s not the sentence i was expecting

6. 😭😭😭 remus realizing that lyall never liked any of his ex boyfreinds, and the fact that he approves of sirius, the murderer, is laughable

7. jealous sirius kissing remus within an inch of his life 😭😭😭

8. “It's no secret that Sirius likes the hickies, but it's not just him; the truth is, the only thing Remus likes more than getting to put them there is getting to see them there.”

uhhh um uhhhhh hot

9. 👀 they getting nasty

10. james being a teacher >>>>>>>>>>>

11. what are sirius and regulus gonna get up to?

12. it’s heartbreaking that lily and mary have to raise bingley. on one hand, it’s domestic and it’s their little family. on the other hand, they never should have had to do this. lily cooks and tucks him into bed and raises him. but she’s not his mom. and mary raises bingley. but she’s not his mom. and it’s so scary to navigate this

13. THE BAGELS

14. james’ knife kink >>>>>>>>>

15. omg i’m a blubbering mess. they have a home together!!!

16. hello!???? they’re dancing together????? in their home?????? what if i burst into tears?????

17. AWWWWW JAMES PROPOSED AGAIN

18. please please please please tell me we get a marriage chapter

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 3

Allow me to be shallow for a moment but I am enjoying how often he is wet in this drama

It's funny because I was literally just thinking about this. Clearly Im Sol can affect what happens in the future or why would she have been sent to the past in the first place. But maybe some things can't be changed. Maybe Sunjae was always destined to become an idol and that can't be changed. Very interesting.

Sunjae's like 'yep, definitely never saw you before you approached me at the pool that time. Definitely have not been pining over you for months'

Look at him blowing kisses at her door like a total loser. I love him. Have I mentioned that I am a sucker for men who are complete idiots for the women they love? That's a big part of the appeal of Bridgerton for me as well

LMAO busted!

I'm guessing that's not going to happen because, you know, career ending injury. But she is absolutely going to lose her mind when he eventually does confess.

I love this change in dynamic so much Him: we'll go to a nice restaurant and I'll confess my feelings Her: we'll go to a very basic cafe that serves healthy food because he's an athlete and needs to take care of his body They are both so cute!

I love her so much! And this is before she finds out he has feelings for her. She's just happy to be on a platonic lunch date with her idol.

He is such a dork I love him so much! Did a legit fist pump when he found out she doesn't like bad boy guitarist

Him: I don't want to do cute poses Also him: I'm dying look at her face

Can't tell my bias that I really need to pee. Wait do they not have toilets on coaches in Korea?

Oh, yeah, I legit forgot about him. Oops.

Aww I hope Im Sol arrives soon to give him a hug. OOH is she going to end up being the reason he becomes a singer? She can't tell him about the future but she can suggest he try something else, right? And bad boy (I really need to try and remember his name) is in a band so maybe he can help.

God, this poor boy. Just found out he can never compete again and his whole family has shown up to plan his trip to the Olympics

Oh! Somehow I missed the fact that this guy was in the idol group with Sunjae in the future

Okay, seriously, how do you not notice the kitchen is on fire when you are standing/sitting right there. Surely they'd feel the heat if nothing else

Aww there we go she put out the fire before her mother got burned so some things can be changed!

Aww that's the first time he's smiled since he got the news about his shoulder

She made him laugh. I'm definitely not crying.

Aww he finally said it! But she's so drunk there's no way she'll remember

Ooh that happened way sooner than I expected

I'm kind of surprised she even remembers them listening to music together tbh

OMG it recorded them when she stepped on it! Did not see that coming! IS SHE GOING TO HEAR THE CONFESSION?

NOOOOOOOOO! She took out the headphones right before he confessed WHY

WHAT THE FUCK SHE'S BACK IN 2022??????

AND NOW TEENAGE!HER HAS AGREED TO DATE BAD BOY RIGHT IN FRONT OF SUNJAE'S SALAD! I NEED A PAPER BAG TO BREATHE INTO

[wowifinallywatched]

Listen...this is not my official more coherent thoughts around the Jigsaw installment of the fucking incredible Saw franchise that i normally like to post first but if you've ever wondered what it's like to watch a movie with me and my internal monologue well LOOK NO FURTHER

Coherent thoughts will be coming soon, but for now enjoy a raw reaction to whatever the FUCK THIS WAS I JUST FINISHED WATCHING AND I AKSBFKABF I JUST NEED TO SHARE THIS FEELING WITH SOMEONE HOLY FUCK-

JIGSAW

Listen if you're gonna be bringing this iconic and amazing as fuck series back it better be Fucking at the same level

Ah yes your standard creepy detective who makes sexist jokes like they get paid for it and no one does anything about it because “it's just who they are” and it's one of the bad qualities you have to adopt in about this person uh yeah no FUCK THA-

Okay I'm sorry I'm fucking sorry 39:33??!?!?!?!?!? FUCKING GOLD BEAUTIFUL STUNNING THAT WAS EVERYTHING IVE WANTED LISTEN I KNOW TRUST THE PROCESS OF THESE MOVIES DONT JUDGE TOO SOON BUT FUCK ME THAT WAS GOOD AND I WAS STILL TEETERING  Listen I miss John okay-

WHAT THE FUCK IS GONNA HAPPEN IS HE GONNA COME BACK FROM THE DEAD OR IS THIS REALLY SMART AJBRIAHE Fucking skin suit or secret child ass akdbia

Eleanor DYING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT Like i can judge this would totally be me as well BEAUTIFUL??? OKAY BITCH NOW I THINK YOU'RE CRAZY

OH MY GOD SHOW ME WHO THE FUCK POISENED YOUR SIPPY CUP BAG MOTHERFUCKER I AM LOSING MY SHIT NOT KNOWING IF JOHN REALLY IS ALIVE OR NOT FUChis

“He was my nephew” Oh my god he was his nephew I'm sorry I had to-

BRKJZISHWJBEJAHSIWBWIHSIS MOTHERFUCKING SAW MY FUCKING GOD YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN WJDBQJ PUTTING HIM IN JOHNS CASKET HAHAHHA HOW THE FUCK DID THEY DO THAT QUIETLY OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE MOVIES SO MUCH THEY'RE ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD AND JUST AJDBSIHDJW OBSESSED  I CANNOT OH MY GOD I LOVE IT ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES IN MY BRAIN IT WAS EITHER GONNA BE TWO OPTIONS, JOHN WAS GONNA BE THERE OR HE WASN'T  BUT JUST IN SAW STYLE, A SURPRISE THIRD OPTION HAS APPEARED HAHAHAH Its like when you watch these movies, you're thinking so hard about one part of it (where the fuck is John) that you become completely oblivious to other options (surprise Mr. Coma has appeared) ALSO I WORK IN THE FUNERAL INDUSTRY AND THERE IS STRICT LAW THAT YOU CANNOT OPEN UP A COFFIN INSIDE THE CEMETERY SO H A

I'm trying to bring logic into these movies when I just watched a man get turned into a human milkshake

But this also means that someone could have taken John's body and has been using his DNA  But would the tests come back saying the DNA is dead or alive? Like someone purposely put his DNA under the guys nails to throw them off who's really playing these games I wonder if it's the OG Dr. saw bathroom who's running the show If John really is alive that would be fucking perfect This psycho mortuary girl better not have dug up John himself to fulfill her obsession I SWEAR- OH MY GOD SHE HAS THE OG SAW STOPPPP HAHAHAHAH Wait wait NO NO NO THIS IS A SET UP I SWEAR OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVE

everyone's like “oh copy cats copy cats” but it's actually the fucking detectives that study these cases of jigsaw everyone calm your tips MY TITS ARE NOT CALM WHERE IS THE DAUGHTER NO IM NOT FUCKING AROUND WHERE IS HIS DAUGHTER I SWEAR 

Oh my god I hear remnants of the saw music as they drive off from the house 🥺 LITTLE PIGGY IS STILL IN PLAY LES GOOOO Everytime I see VAIDUWOFJKSHEIEHDIJWKDNWKJFKSBEKNWKDJEKDBOSBRKANJDHSID JOHN JOHN SOBDJSBDIAHDIHA I JUST CHOKED ON MY CEREAL OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN MY JIGGY SAWWY MAN IM GONNA CRY HOLY FUCK IVE MISSED YOU NSKFBSJS HOW THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE IN A FUCKING MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK NO I DO NOT TRUST WHAT I SEE ARE YOU A TWIN BROTHER OR SOME SHIT I AM LOSING MY MIND WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DID THEY REPLACE YOUR BODY BUT THE TEST SUBJECTS WOULD HAVE COME BACK IS THIS A HALLUCINATION HOLY SHIT  I AM ABOUT TO BREAK THIS FUCKING TABLE HOLY FUCKING SHIT My boy you look like you've aged so much Oh my god that misdiagnosis hit way too close to home alright I am John number one protector BUT HOW THE FUCK IS HE ALIVE BECAUSE THE TUMOUR AND THE SKABKFJA John baby listen i love you so much and I love the game you've got going on and you give the best monologue but HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ALIVE

Listen surely those jigsaw pieces are a set up because surely not even the most dumbass of cops would keep that in their fucking FREEZER HAHAHAH

I am absolutely fucked I trust none of you bitches except daddy mortuary 

AWWWWWWWWW MEANING BEHIND THE PIG HEAD MENTIONED SO CASUALLY THAT IS SO CUTE JOHN

John is so fucking extra he has all these props and then uses a single shotgun

This is more trying to pick who Johns new apprentice is and i don't like any of them

GIRL WHY WOULD YOU WEAR BOOT HEELS TO THIS SCAVENGER HUNT

Listen John sliding the door to people's eternal doom just hits different okay

BACKWARDS OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN YOU ARE SO SMART It’s literally been the EXACT SAME ALL THESE YEARS PLAY BY THE RULES HE NEVER SAID YOU HAD TO SHOOT EACH OTHER FOR YOUR FREEDOM THAT WAS NOT A RULE HE SET IN PLACE HAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS AND I WAS CLAIMING HE WAS USING A SIMPLE ASS SHOTGUN OF COURSE IT WASN'T JUST A SHOTGUN I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS

DADDY MORTUARY WAS THE DOCTOR THAT FUCKED UP HIS TEST RESULTS OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU ABSOLUTE LAZY DICKWAD OF A MAN YOU ARE DOOMED HAHAH

Wait what the fuck this is sus whats happening ABDKJSJEBWJDHIWVDJHS I THOUGHT HIS BODY WAS JUST ROLLING AT FIRST WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING NO NO WAY DADDY MORTUARY IS JOHNS NEW APPRENTICE DETECTIVE YOU AND ME ARE THE SAME WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM HIM NO YOU WERE THE ONE I TRUSTED NO FUCKING WAY THE ONLY ONE I TRUSTED TURNED OUT TO BE THE MAN BEHIND IT ALL HAHAHAHAH FUCK WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN FUYCJA FUCKABAFSIABKFJBKAF HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS HOLY FUCK LISTEN I STARTED TO DOUBT THIS ONE THEN I TOLD MYSELF DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE IT’S WHAT HAPPENS EVERY TIME I ALWAYS THINK THEY’RE NOT AS GOOD AS THE PREVIOUS ONE BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T REACHED THAT CLIMATIC PLOT TWIST THAT PULLS ALL THE PIECES TOGETHER  AND THEN YOU REACH IT AND YOU THINK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE FUCKING PAST AND PRESENT PLAY THAT THIS SERIES IS SO GOOD AT

OH MY GOD I GOT SO EXCITED THINKING MY BABY JIGGY SAWWY MAN WAS ALIVE BUT NOPE IT WAS JUST THE PAST GAMES SOBS AND IT’S SO FUNNY BECAUSE NOW IF YOU REWATCHED THIS MOVIE YOU’D SEE ALL THE SIGNS POINTING TO THE TRUTH You just have to follow the rules You just have to follow the signs pointed in the direction of the movie plot OH FUCK ME MOVIE GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH YOUR CLEVER WAYS Think about it if you really listened to this movie, it’s literally telling you exactly what’s going to take place Oh fuck me HAHAHAHAH I NEED TO REWATCH ALL THESE MOVIES NOW WITH THAT MINDSET THIS HAS MIND FUCKED ME I CAN’T BELIEVE IT THE FACT WE WERE WATCHING THE OG GAME WITH THE DADDY MORTUARY BUT SIKE IT WAS TEN YEARS AGO

Not gonna lie Daddy Mortuary was kind of hot Jesus I need to learn his real name I'm sure someone said it I was just blinded by his good looks-

I AM LOSING MY MARBLES I LITERALLY CONTINUE DO ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW HAHAHA LIKE HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT MOMENT WHEN HE STARTED GETTING UP LOST IT GAVE ME FEELINGS BACK TO THE FIRST SAW MOVIE WHERE JOHN SLOWLY GOT UP AND REVEALED HIMSELF  Oh my god Daddy Mortuary was the son John never got to have *GROSS SOBBING IN THE CORNER*

AND SLIDING THE DOOR SHUT JUST LIKE JOHN LIKE JIGGY SAWY FATHER LIKE JIGGY SAWY SON SO THIS GAME HAPPENED FUCKING YONKS AND WOULD HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED BEFORE AMANDA AND BEFORE WHATEVER THE FUCK DETECTIVE FACE WAS I ALREADY DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME I just can't I can't believe they still gave us John Kramer content while he's still fucking dead that was so fucking clever You can't have a saw movie without the original Jigsaw in it and they fucking keep it alive in a smart way, not forced, but smart WAIT DADDY MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY I GET IT THE GAMES HAPPENED TEN YEARS AGO AND SUCH BUT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY  DID HE MOVE A WHOLE ASS CASKET AND REPLACE HIS CASKET WITH ANOTHER actually he works in a mortuary he would have the skills to do that HAHAHAHAH FUCKKKKKKK Listen this movie literally gave us John content, fucking ecstatic about it, then showed it was past John and that he's not really here right now

BUT THEY LEFT THE FUCKING DOOR WIDE OPEN FOR JOHN TO STILL BE ALIVE BY HIM NOT BEING IN THAT CASKET AND I KNOW ITS PROBABLY MORE A “They just put the body elsewhere/ replaced his casket” BUT LISTEN LET ME HAVE THIS SMALL OUNCE OF HOPE OKAY

ALSO DID I FUCKING CALL IT OR DID I FUCKING CALL IT ABOUT PUTTING JOHNS DNA UNDER HIS NAILS ON PURPOSE FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT BITCH AND IM REALLY PROUD BECAUSE I CAN NEVER DO THAT WITH THESE MOVIES FUCK YES GO TEAM 1 FOR US  16 MILLION FOR THE MOVIE OKAY LET ME HAVE THIS ONE- Not me going on about how old John looks and it's literally exactly how he looks in all the other movies HAHAHAHAHAH

OH MY GOD IN THAT SCENE WITH JOHNS NEIGHBOUR AND LEG-O-LOSS I THOUGHT NEIGHBOUR WAS IN SHOCK (of course we find out because she was his neighbor) BECAUSE JOHN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD BUT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE NEIGHBOURS  NO ONE EVER BATTED AN EYE OR SAID BUT JIGSAW IS DEAD BUT JOHN KRAMER IS DEAD OH MY GODDDDD ANOTHER FUCKING SIGN TO JUST PAY ATTENTION TO THAT'S BEING SAID AND IT WAS REVEAL THE WHOLE MOVIE TO YOU

Just oh my God okay I need to lay this out Daddy Mortuary- Okay no let me find his real name Also poor fucking Eleanor she really was just a Saw fanatic and now she's wrapped up in something she doesn't even realise IF ONLY SHE KNEW BECAUSE SHE WOULD BE LOVING HER OWN STORY RIGHT NOW LOGAN HIS NAME IS LOGAN Alright so  Logan fucked up John's test results by mislabelling (the poor other fucking dude that got those results) which i feel like was a bit of an add on instead of reveal WAIT BUT IF THIS GAME HAPPENED BEFORE THE OTHER GAMES IN THE OTHER MOVIES Oh my fuck then he would have no reason to mention it in any of his past monologues because he already faced the man that did it and seeked his ‘revenge’ OH MY GOD OKAY REDEEMED THAT WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT BUT HE'S BEEN REDEEMED CARRY ON So John sets up one of his classic games, with the machine that was “never used” or they never found the bodies for OH MY GOD LOGAN GAVE HER THE ANSWER. LITERALLY JUST TOLD HER. BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW. HE WAS APART OF THAT GAME. HE WOULD HAVE RECOGNISED THE MACHINE STRAIGHT AWAY. HE LITERALLY TOLD HER BUT OF COURSE YOU WOULD NEVER SUSPECT IT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ACCUSATION HAHAHAH SHITTTTT I keep trying to write this out calmly and then get really Hyped up forgive me- The game begins with everyone having their sins AND YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS SO WEIRD THE GAME STARTED WITH SOMEONE STILL UNCONSCIOUS, IT FELT VERY UNLIKE JOHN BECAUSE HE'S ALL ABOUT HAVING A FAIR CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF and when we finally got to see the result of that scene where John is racing out to save him because it was an unfair start and he wanted to personally give him a second chance IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING- I wonder how far apart these events were to the previous movie

ANYWAY

My brain isn’t working i literally can't stop thinking about John being a protective father to him John takes him under his wing seeing his pain, seeing his grief and to teach him its not about anger AND LOGAN TEACHING JOHN SOME THINGS TOO SOBS listen, John is the most forgiving person IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE 8 MOVIES TO SAY OTHERWISE BUT LET ME EXPLAIN- HE GIVES THEM A CHANCE TO CONFESS AND THEN BE FREE HE'S ONLY PUNISHING THEM BECAUSE THEY WON'T CONFESS THEMSELVES NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAD Oh my god i really am protecting a serial killer  BUT HEY IT'S FICTIONAL And it is fucking wild to me that no one ever found these bodies (JUST LIKE MY BOY ADAM SOBS) and so Logan planned and waited until the perfect moment to fuck with the world Except there's one thing different from John to the other people that have tried to take his place John gives them a fair game, just play by the rules Amanda, Detective Douche, Logan - They all seemed revenge. They gave them a game, but it wasn't always fair, it wasn't always a game that could be won. Oh wait but Detective banana peel ass didn't exactly confess to freeing Logans wife's murderer so he didn't play the game right OKAY THAT WOULD BE VALID THEN It's just crazy to me that a game happened in real time and we technically got to see exactly what it would have looked like but we never saw the actual game

AND OF COURSE LOGAN CHOSE A GUY THAT DOOMED HIS WIFE'S DEATH AS THE GUY TO GET NO CHANCE FOR REDEMPTION TO REPLICATE HIS OWN EXPERIENCE HAHAHAH LOVE THAT

This was so fucking clever and i never want to stop talking about these movies oh my god

BUT OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVES FUCKING HEAD GETTING SPLICED LIKE A FUCKING BANANA PEEL I CANT- THAT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL HORRIFYING AND DISGUSTING BUT SO FLUID AND BEAUTIFUL  I cannot wait to watch the new movie and see the graphics All things considered theyve really done these movies justice all through the years Like I'm so fucking happy with the ending of this movie And I fucking adore that we got to see John again But I'm not gonna lie my heart is a little broken he's not actually alive and well- I KNOW WE LITERALLY SAW HIM GET AUTOPSIED wait Was Logan the one to do his autopsy  I remember he mentioned something about John being full autopsied but I don't remember if he meant he did it himself WAIT ITS ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME MORTUARY HAND TO DO THE SAW AUTOPSIES HASN'T IT OH MY FUCKING GOD SO HE KNEW THE PLAN ALL ALONG HE FUCKING KNEW OH MY GOD I AM EMOTIONAL-

Now I need to go back and watch the other movies again, for many reasons, but to see if it was Logan all along

I JUST READ MY NOTES WHILE WATCHING PREVIOUS SAW MOVIES AND I MADE A COMMENT ABOUT HOW SUS IT IS THAT THERE’S BEEN ONE CONSISTENT MORTUARY HAND LOOKING AFTER THE SAW VICTIMS HAHAHAH CALLED IT (possibly)

God I don’t drink but right now I feel like I need a drink

ONTO THE NEXT ONE WHERE YOU REALLY CAN’T PREDICT WHAT WE’LL EVER GET AKSBFKBF

[vanillasn0w]

The Answer- part 2

Love, it seems, has left its mark on you. And love? It took a bite out of your soul and spit it out. Love, what a terrible, terrible thing to lose. And you lost it. You lost him. All the good times you shared had been washed away by the hues of violence. You kept telling yourself, over and over and over that you did the right thing, but the right thing didn’t feel right. How could the right thing look at you with tears and a defeated face?

Because that is exactly how he looked at you. You had never seen him so, hurt, so upset. As soon as you said the word, “done,” tears formed in his eyes and his mouth hung open in shock. He looked completely worn down and defeated, completely lost. And he did lose. He lost a lot that night. There wasn’t anything you could do to comfort him or to make him look less sad. It was what it was and you left crying. You left him as he was dying of heartbreak. And you couldn’t bear to see that. You can hardly bear to think about what he was like after you left. You shake the thought from you head.

 You call your friend on the phone in order to distract yourself. 

"Hi, how are you holding up, she asks?"

"I am fine." You say, lying.

"Y/N, really. How are you?"

Tears spill from your eyes.  "Not very good. I miss him so fucking much."

"I know, but he wasn't right for you. There are other fish-

"No, there aren't." You say, interrupting her.

"I know you think so-

"Just take my word for it. There isn't anybody else for me."

"Okay, I believe you."

Just try and relax today, you deserve it after what you went through last night."

You think to yourself, there is no relaxing without him. Despite the violence he was the only one who could calm you down, no matter what. When you are with someone who completely calms you down, and then that person isn't there anymore, what are you supposed to do? Calm down by yourself? That's simply no good. Maybe you'll get stoned out of your mind tonight, seeing as marijuana has often helped your sadness. You get your bong ready while you are talking on the phone. And then, in the corner, you see the CD that Rafe made for you after your first date, and you start sobbing again. Tears spill from your eyes like a miniature Niagara Falls. 

Missing someone is never easy, but missing someone you love? That's even harder. It's like your soul has been taken out of your body and replaced with nothing. You're just an empty shell, with the only emotion inside of you, sadness. And the only other thing you feel is: missing him more than you've ever missed anybody else. Rafe was your soul. And he was the only person holding it together. He ignited in you something that was hard to find, something you didn't think you had in you. But he made you have it in you. Just because of who he was and how he treated you. What ignited in you? A form of love so strong that even death couldn't take it from you. If you were to die soon, you'd go to the grave loving him. 

"Y/N?

"Oh, sorry? What was that?" 

"I asked, what are you going to do today?"

"Be sad, there's nothing else I can do." You say dramatically. 

"Oh, c'mon. Why don't we go out?" Let's go to a movie, than to dinner."

No, you were too depressed. Too depressed to do anything, really.

You say yes to your friend, anyway.

When your friend comes to pick you up two hours late, you've just finished an hour crying session. You end up thinking back to the time you first met him. God, you were so broken today. You just wanted to go back to the way things were, before he got too violent. Or maybe that’s all he ever was. You didn’t know. 

It was a beautiful day on the marsh, the light from the sun shining directly on you. There was this guy who kept on your looking your way, Rafe Cameron his name was. He even bought you a drink, which you gladly accepted. Everyone knew about Rafe, about how he killed that Peterkin woman. He was so handsome you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the fact he was a killer. Wasn’t that awful? You also wanted to hear his side of the story before labeling him like everyone else did. God, he was so handsome. You found yourself making your way towards him, unable to keep your eyes off of him. 

“Hey, there.” 

By the time you've downed your first drink, you two are dancing, hips moving in alignment with each other, hands grazing each other's. The beat sizzles inside of their souls,  heads bopping to the music, hearts merged together.  They may not know each other, but feel like they do. Moving with the beat, they feel like they have known each other for eons.

"You move like a stripper, you know that?"

"Maybe I've taken some lessons with the pole, you never know."

He chuckles.

"I wouldn't have minded that."

She smiles.

You don't let him know if you have actually taken lessons or not, which you haven't. You've been to a strip club and was taught some moves but that is about it.

"Want me to show you?" You tease.

You do a naughty little dance, nothing too explicit, but do a buck of your hips and run your hands up your shirt.  His mouth hangs open, while children in the joint stare.

You both laugh realizing they've been looking on. You tone it down.

"You're sexy as hell." He whispers into your ears, jiggling his arms to the bear.

"Want me to show you what I can do?"

They go out to the back if the store and he takes off his shirt, curves and muscles everywhere.  He does three body rolls, which leave you hypnotized. His body was made from the gods of beauty themselves, everything wonderful aspect of humanity chocked up in those curves and muscles. He completely radiates sex, you think to yourself. He shimmies his hips and jiggles his arms, turning on the music, bobbing his head.

You can't look away, you are stuck like glue at the sight of him. He bounces his hand off his crotch, giving a buck of his hip.

You approach him and ask if it's okay if you pull down his pants.

He definitely agrees and you two head to the bathroom in the back if the restaurant.

"Y/N?"

You tell her that you need a minute. It's time to take care of your southern region heating up.

   ____________

When you finish with the toy, you are in a state of complete bliss. Your legs feel like jelly and you feel completely relaxed. It only took about five minutes and your friend didn't question anything at all. She suspected absolutely nothing.

"Sorry, it just wouldn't come out."

"Girl, TMI." 

An ad on TV leaves your soul feeling crushed. It's Rafe with his dad, looking absolutely flawless. He is wearing a suit and tie, black work pants and looking extremely happy.

"Are you and your friends looking for a good time?" Rafe's father asks.

"Want to be out out on the water?" His father asks.

"Be the head of your class, with this new design for college students. It's sleek, durable and built for five with sleeping quarters. Rafe says with precision.

They step away from the front and the camera pans to the whole boat.

It looks very well built, with a red head and painted bluish white, with a red and grey sail. It's super fancy and something you would want to take a ride in.

"Come on down and order it right now, we'll be at docks, see you there." Rafe says happily, with a big smile

He frowns for a minute, but that is the only time he looks upset.

Tears spill from your eyes like a fountain. Your friend puts her hand on your shoulder and leads you away from the commercial. You sit at the restaurant she takes you too, listening to “I can’t help falling in love with you,” which makes you cry even more. She wishes your friend could ask for them to turn it off. And you wish more than anything that you wouldn’t make a spectacle of yourself. Gosh, you miss him so much you just want to scream. 

You listen to your friend as she talks about her day. Apparently, someone from her company ran into her car and now she has to get insurance for the giant dent in her car. But for some reason the insurance company doesn’t want to pay for it, so she’s going to have to pay over four hundred dollars to fix the dent because it’s causing problems when she opens the door. Talk about a disaster.

“Doesn’t that sound worse than what you’re going through? At least you don’t have to pay a ton of money.”

She goes on to explain that she doesn’t want to pay the money but she has to. She doesn’t have a choice.

“You have a choice. You can either wait for him to become non-violent or get back together with him. You don’t have to pay him any money for it, either.”

“I don’t want to wait. I love him and want him to change right now, but he won’t. I know he won’t.”

“Then, I am sorry, but you’ll have to deal with being broken up. If he won’t change, why should you stay with him?” 

She’s right. Why should I stay with someone who won’t change for me? There has to be somebody else that will change for me. The problem is I don’t want anybody else.

When you come across Rafe in the same restaurant you are, it’s obvious he is high as a kite, wiping at his nose. You go right to him and confront him with this problem because you thought his drug use was in the past.

“Rafe, what the hell are you doing?” Why are you high?”

“Look, you don’t get to tell me what to do. You’re not in my life anymore. You gave up on that.”

“I didn’t give up…you gave up. You gave up on being the man you’re supposed to be-

“Get the hell away from me if you’re going to tell me that. That’s not true and you know it. Get away from me.” He says all of this very coldly, leaving you in tears. This is not the man you once knew. This is not a man you want to know. So, you leave, feeling terrible and missing him. Even though this is not the man you want to know, you feel a hole in your heart because you still want to be with him. 

You leave the restaurant and he sends you a message of him using cocaine. 

“This is my life now, a life that I stopped because I loved you and changed for you. Now, I am back at it. All this good stuff is mine now. Because you gave up on us. Bye forever.”

You throw your phone across the room in rage. What a manipulative thing to send to you.

He sends you another picture of him sniffing coke. You block him.

He finds another way to manipulate you through instagram. You find a picture of him dancing with a woman, white all under her and his nose. You toss your phone in anger, again. This time, you don’t block him. You don’t have the strength. 

“See me dancing the way I am? You’re never going to have it like this with me again?

“Rafe, shut the hell up. You’re being horrible right now and I won’t put up with it.” 

So, he stays quiet for a bit. Then he hits you back with more manipulative crap.

“So, you don’t mind if she does more coke with me?” 

You find yourself not minding blocking him from instagram a couple of seconds later. But then he finds you on facebook, not talking to you directly, of course, but making a manipulative post. 

“This is it. This is my new life. I can be as violent as I want without anybody stopping me. I can dance with another girl if I want to. Nobody, and I mean, nobody is stopping me. Time to get busy living!” He says in his post, probably still high as a kite.

He posts that same picture of him dancing with the girl, except there is no coke under their noses. Then, he uploads more pictures of them partying, pictures that make Y/N go wild. In one picture, a girl is giving him a lap dance, which he later writes about on facebook, saying he didn’t like it. So that’s good. At least he didn’t like it.

Then there are some pictures of him doing beer pong, which you made him stop doing because he’d get too drunk doing it. 

“Getting tipsy, getting high and doing everything she didn’t want me to do.” He later posts on his tumblr. You didn’t want to see his tumblr and were actively trying to avoid it, but you had set up your phone awhile ago to get notifications whenever he did a text post on the site. You just feel like death now. So you go to bed, with more pictures and notifications popping up from tumblr about his wild night. The last photo you see before you close your eyes is of a girl kissing him. The last text post from tumblr you see from him says, “She kissed me first. But I’d much rather be kissing you instead. Those lips were my heaven. But I lost that heaven. Goodbye night, I’ll be spending my night partying away the sadness.

You cry yourself to sleep that night and wake up in the morning with a passed out Rafe on your doorstep, in a pool of his own vomit, and a bag of coke next to him.

[quicksilverdrabbles]

To embrace your blood, and give you your voice (2)

Morana: *panting, watching as the dragon finally falls while bits of its flesh begin burning and flaking into the air* What..?

Mirmulnir: Dovahkiin?!

Kaidan: Dovahkiin??

*the dragon falls dead, its eyes focused on Morana as its soul is ripped from its body in multicolored streaks and absorbed by the plague doctor. Streams of yellow light bind themselves around her neck before disappearing*

Morana: ...???

Whiterun Guard: Dragonborn..

Lucien: E-hexcuse me, what?

Whiterun Guard: Ancient dragonslayers.. They could kill a dragon by stealing their very souls.. That's what you just did, right?

Morana: I don't know. It's certainly never happened to me before.

Kaidan: Take a moment to calm yourself, your handwriting's shaking.

Whiterun Guard (2): Eh? Are you sure she of all people is the Dragonborn? Dragonborns are supposed to be able to Shout.

Whiterun Guard: Oh, you're right.. That would be a problem, wouldn't it. A Dragonborn that can absorb souls but not Shout. It's.. kind of funny, in an ironic way.

Inigo: I would recommend you do not speak about this situation being humorous unless you want to lose your tongue.

Whiterun Guard: Huh? And what are you gonna do about it, huh cat? You would really threaten the guard?

Inigo: I will make good on my threats to you and every other person in Skyrim if you continue to insult my friend like that.

Morana: Blu.. Please stop..

Ingio: ... Grr.. You are lucky this time.

Whiterun Guard (2): Can you really blame us, though? She can absorb souls, but without The Voice, is she really Dragonborn?

Kaidan: You shut your fucking mouth right now.

Morana: *tries to write in her journal. Her hands shake, and she drops her pencil. Kaidan won't understand if she signs* ... P-Please stop..

Whiterun Guard: If you people are so eager to defend her, then let her prove she's Dragonborn. Shout for us.

Taliesin: *glaring, dagger drawn* She doesn't have to do anything for you lowlives.

Morana: F-Fus.. *Her breath comes out like a gust of wind, noticeable, but quiet and ultimately powerless*

Whiterun Guard: Ha! Was that your attempt at a Shout?

Xelzaz: Morana-

Morana: F-F-Fus- *coughs, reaching a hand to her throat*

Lucien: Morana! *runs to catch her as she kneels to the ground* Don't force it, please. You don't have to prove anything to these people!

Morana: *trembling* I-I know the word. I can hear it in my mind.. I just- I can't-

Lucien: You're only going to hurt yourself, though!

Morana: Why the hell are people only ever concerned about me getting hurt?? Why am I unable to do things without having to worry about how much it would affect me? Why can't I do this?!

Lucien: Because we care about you-

Morana: You shouldn't! With the way things are going, I'll be dead before the year ends anyways!

Inigo: ... What?

Morana: You shouldn't put a dying woman's wellbeing over your own! You shouldn't have to make accomodations for my weakness! I- *sobs* I don't want that! I don't need it!

Dovahkiin..

Morana: *stands up, pulling away from Lucien* Just once, I want to be able to put my pains aside and do things without suffering! Just once, I don't want to be a liability!

I will lend you my voice, Thuri..

Morana: Just once, I want to be able to aid you all instead of forcing you to worry about someone who should have died years ago! Just this once- even if it's only once- I.. I don't want to be weak anymore!

Whiterun Guard (2): Hey, is she actually saying something right now?

Whiterun Guard: I dunno. Can't hear her, haha.

Morana: SHUT UP!

Whiterun Guard: ?! Shit, she actually spoke-

Lucien: She's been speaking this whole time, you idiots!

Kaidan: Morana..?

Morana: SHUT UP!! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP- FUS! *the shout leaves her throat in a much deeper pitch, hoarse and growling, almost like an actual dragon's cry. It knocks the two guards off of their feet.*

Whiterun Guard (2): Gods above- let's get out of here!

Morana: *falls to her knees, coughing and spitting up blood*

Kaidan: Morana! *crouches down, trying to wipe at the blood soaking her mask*

Taliesin: *kneeling next to her* Gods- Hey, come on, let me see.

Morana: *shakes her head*

Taliesin: Don't be stubborn, they're already gone. I need to see how badly you're bleeding.

Morana: *shakes her head again. She tries to speak, but only wordless rasping comes from her throat*

Xelzaz: How much damage did that Shout do??

Mirmulnir: *a spectre of the dragon rises from its bones* It was not The Voice that injured her.

Kaidan: Oh for fuck's sake, not you again. We killed you.

Mirmulnir: And so I have recognized the power within the Dovahkiin. A dovah without a voice is, mm.. Aan dilon dovah. A dead one. And so, to counter her.. nahlot Thu'um, her voice which has been silenced. She absorbed my voice, as well as dii sil, my soul.

Lucien: How is that even possible?

Mirmulnir: Mm.. Many things about this one are.. folaas. Things that should not be. It is only right that they are.. righted.

Inigo: So.. You are a good dragon now?

Mirmulnir: My voice will remain in the Dovahkiin's possession. However, this form is quickly.. fading. It is possible this will be the last I will ever speak, of my own accord.

Xelzaz: Oh. Well, thank you? For giving her your Voice.

Mirmulnir: It was not my choice.

Xelzaz: ... Right.

Kaidan: Er, hello? Can we maybe focus on the fact that Morana's spouting blood from her throat?

Taliesin: *removed Morana's mask, wiping at the blood properly with a cloth* We need to get you to Danica. We'll have her meet us outside the Temple, don't worry.

Kaidan: Up we get. *lifts Morana with ease, ignoring her silent struggling* Need to cover her face for her before we go back to town. That mask won't do until it's clean.

Taliesin: Use this. It's a veil we got for her a while ago.

Kaidan: I don't even want to ask where you got that thing. Fine.

Xelzaz: Here, let me at least give her a potion to try and stop her bleeding-

Inigo and Lucien: *trailing behind the group*

Lucien: ... Do you think we should tell them?

Inigo: ... Perhaps not. I do not think anybody else heard what we did, not clearly.

Lucien: They have a right to know, I think. If what she said is true..

Inigo: If she told us, she will probably tell them sometime after. Still..

Lucien: Do you think there's anything we could do?

Inigo: ... I do not know.

~

Inside the Bannered Mare

Danica: *sitting next to Morana on a bed in the private room* Gods, you've really done it this time, Morana. What on earth did you do to injure your vocal chords like this??

Morana: ... I got angry. And yelled. Tried to.

Danica: *sighs* Well, you won't be able to speak at all for the next few weeks. Not even whisper.

Morana: Damn. Thank you for your help, anyway.

Danica: Don't mention it. Although I would like if you would come for a check-up every now and then. It seems like your health declines more and more every time I see you.

Morana: ... It's nothing to worry about. I would rather you don't waste your time. You still have so many patients.

Danica: Right. Well, I'll go let your friends know you've been healed the best you can be. They'll be in in a moment.

Morana: Thank you.

Danica: *stands and leaves, clicking the door shut behind her*

...

Morana: *raises a hand to her face, catching a tear that fell* (No matter how I tried... I was still weak.)

[anime-simp-0]

writing prompts

these starters are not mine and i do not take credit for them! imaginary-legendary-hamilton is whose page i found these on and though they were perfect for me practicing my writing!

you are more than welcome to pick more than one prompt for whichever character you pick. my only request is that you use character from mha / bnha. otherwise, enjoy your combo's and i'll post what i come up with! <3

1. “Do you want me to leave?” 2. “I swear it won’t happen again.” 3. “I’m not jealous.” 4. “You can’t keep doing this.” 5. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?” 6. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” 7. “You did what?!” 8. “Were you ever going to tell me?” 9. “Don’t ask me that.” 10. “I might have had a few shots.” 11. “What’s with the box?” 12. “Say it!” 13. “I could kiss you right now!” 14. “Are you done with that?” 15. “Are you still awake…?” 16. “Excuse you?” 17. “This is all your fault!” 18. “I shouldn’t be in love with you.” 19. “I could kill you right now!” 20. “Just admit I’m right.”

21. “That doesn’t even make sense.” 22. “That’s irrational.” 23. “Just pretend to be my date.” 24. “Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?” 25. “When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!” 26. “I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.” 27. “I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.” 28. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.” 29. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.” 30. “Can I sit here? The other tables are full.” 31. “You weren’t supposed to laugh!” 32. “This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” 33. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.” 34. “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.” 35. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.” 36. “Did I say that out loud?” 37. “Do you think they could have loved me?” 38. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” 39. “How long have you been standing there?” 40. “Have I ever lied to you?”

41. “Have you lost your fucking mind?” 42. “His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.” 43. “I am not losing you again!” 44. “I don’t know why I’m crying.” 45. “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” 46. “I just need to be alone right now.” 47. “When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.” 48. “I made a mistake.” 49. “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.” 50. “I need you to forgive me.” 51. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.” 52. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.” 53. “I’m flirting with you.” 54. “I’m not good enough for you.” 55. “I fell in love with my best friend.” 56. “I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.” 57. “I’m up to the challenge.” 58. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you.” 59. “I’m yours.” 60. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

61. “If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!” 62. “It’s okay to cry…” 63. “What do you mean? It’s exciting!” 64. “Talk to me.” 65. “Look at me—just breathe, okay?” 66. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.” 67. “Oh my god! You’re in love with them!” 68. “Well, this is where I live.” 69. “We finish it the same way we started—together.” 70. “What are you afraid of?” 71. “You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me.” 72. “You deserve so much better.” 73. “You don’t have to stay.” 74. “You don’t know you the way I do.” 75. “You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.” 76. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.” 77. “You shouldn’t have even been there!” 78. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” 79. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.” 80. “Teach me?”

81. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?” 82. “Looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.” 83. “Just once.” 84. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.” 85. “It’s not what it looks like.” 86. “I got you a present.” 87. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!” 88. “See, now, what that so bad?”.” 89. “You’re the best part of me.” 90. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.” 91. “Can I hold your hand?” 92. “Let’s move in together.” 93. “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.” 94. “What time is it?” 95. “Just wait a second.” 96. “Here, let me.” 97. “You’re so cute when you pout like that.” 98. “Hold me back!’ 99. “I don’t care what they said, it doesn’t mean shit!” 100. “I adore you.”

[undreaming-fanfiction]

100 Writing Prompts

From @imaginary-legendary-hamilton because this is just too good.

Found this wonderful list and I couldn’t resist. If you’re looking for a Steddie drabble, feel free to drop me an ask. AUs, settings, genres and additional requests are also welcome.

1. “Do you want me to leave?” 2. “I swear it won’t happen again.” 3. “I’m not jealous.” 4. “You can’t keep doing this.” 5. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?” 6. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” 7. “You did what?!” 8. “Were you ever going to tell me?” 9. “Don’t ask me that.” 10. “I might have had a few shots.” 11. “What’s with the box?” 12. “Say it!” 13. “I could kiss you right now!” 14. “Are you done with that?” 15. “Are you still awake…?” 16. “Excuse you?” 17. “This is all your fault!” 18. “I shouldn’t be in love with you.” 19. “I could kill you right now!” 20. “Just admit I’m right.” 21. “That doesn’t even make sense.” 22. “That’s irrational.” 23. “Just pretend to be my date.” 24. “Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?” 25. “When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!” 26. “I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.” 27. “I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.” 28. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.” 29. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.” 30. “Can I sit here? The other tables are full.” 31. “You weren’t supposed to laugh!” 32. “This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” 33. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.” 34. “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.” 35. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.” 36. “Did I say that out loud?” 37. “Do you think they could have loved me?” 38. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” 39. “How long have you been standing there?” 40. “Have I ever lied to you?” 41. “Have you lost your fucking mind?” 42. “His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.” 43. “I am not losing you again!” 44. “I don’t know why I’m crying.” 45. “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” 46. “I just need to be alone right now.” 47. “When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.” 48. “I made a mistake.” 49. “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.” 50. “I need you to forgive me.” 51. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.” 52. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.” 53. “I’m flirting with you.” 54. “I’m not good enough for you.” 55. “I fell in love with my best friend.” 56. “I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.” 57. “I’m up to the challenge.” 58. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you.” 59. “I’m yours.” 60. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.” 61. “If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!” 62. “It’s okay to cry…” 63. “What do you mean? It’s exciting!” 64. “Talk to me.” 65. “Look at me—just breathe, okay?” 66. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.” 67. “Oh my god! You’re in love with them!” 68. “Well, this is where I live.” 69. “We finish it the same way we started—together.” 70. “What are you afraid of?” 71. “You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me.” 72. “You deserve so much better.” 73. “You don’t have to stay.” 74. “You don’t know you the way I do.” 75. “You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.” 76. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.” 77. “You shouldn’t have even been there!” 78. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” 79. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.” 80. “Teach me?” 81. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?” 82. “Looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.” 83. “Just once.” 84. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.” 85. “It’s not what it looks like.” 86. “I got you a present.” 87. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!” 88. “See, now, what that so bad?”.” 89. “You’re the best part of me.” 90. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.” 91. “Can I hold your hand?” 92. “Let’s move in together.” 93. “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.” 94. “What time is it?” 95. “Just wait a second.” 96. “Here, let me.” 97. “You’re so cute when you pout like that.” 98. “Hold me back!’ 99. “I don’t care what they said, it doesn’t mean shit!” 100. “I adore you.”

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP34 SPOILERS!

here are my thoughts on the new episode!!! this time im actually writing them out in real time. ive been so so excited for this one

- no normal fact damn. thats okay though will i support

- oh god are they doing this w their comedy personas.

- IM SO NERVOUS FOR THIS STRANGER I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW SHES FEELING ABOUT THIS LMAO

- i love how tori didnt even get an introduction to scam it was just like oh yeah theres a guy here named scam likely

- LINK JUST SHOWING GARFIELD ON HIS PHONE lincoln li wilson bless ur soul

- somehow the audio quality of link being on a microphone extra loud makes this so funny

- istg the moment hermie has a line im gonna scream and jump up and down

- ANTHONYS IN FUCKING JOKER MAKEUP????

- THE COMPLETE SILENCE AFTER THE PLANES JOKE.

- i literally forgot that disney movies have anime remakes now in dndads i was so confused for a sec WAIT TORI DOESNT KNOW THIS OMFG IMAGINE HER CONFUSION

- WAS NOT EXPECTING THE SUDDEN TAYLOR ANGST HE WAS SCARED ABOUT HIS MOM DYING AS A KID??? ARE U JOKING??

- honestly though i think taylor opening up like this through comedy makes sense

- link is so supportive of taylor awwww

- BETH MAY PREPARING MISOGYNISTIC JOKES WHILE EXPECTING TO PERFORM FOR A MAN HELPP

- NORMAL IS LAST OH GOD

- OH GOD HES TRAUMADUMPING TOO

- i think its so funny and ironic how scary is the only one who doesnt drop lore about her family in her set

- OHHHH MY GOD THE CHAPARRAL ROAST. OH YEAH. I LOVE THE DIRECTION WILLS GOING W THIS (NORMAL DOESNT GET MAD HE GETS EVEN)

- HERMIE SAID A SINGLE WORD I REPEAT HE GOT ONE WORD IN FOLKS

- WILL IS SO GOOD AT THIS. GOD

- HERMIEEEE

- THE WAY MY FACE FUCKING FELL WHEN HE STARTED DIRECTLY ROASTING HERMIE. OH NO

- "im sensitive about that :[" MY LITTLE GUYYYYY NO

- NOOOOO NORMAL WHAT ARE U DOING THIS IS SO MEAANN THIS IS TOO FAR

- HERMIE IS CRYING???? OMFG NO

- NORMAL TOLD HERMIE HE LIKES HIM!!!!!

- will campos is carrying this entire episode

- GOTHCLEATS????

- IM LESS THAN HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE AND I AM ALREADY LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND

- hermies up now i am so fucking scared. this episode is NOT going the direction i thought it would omfg (not complaining at all im just in shock)

- *applauds hermie along w tori* (I CANT BELIEVE ANTHONY IS DOING THIS W JOKER MAKEUP)

- HE JUST HAS DC JOKES.

- thanks for the existential crisis/aging/suicide jokes hermie i really needed that on my bday 😅😅 /s

- IS HERMIE OKAY????? THERE WAS SM TO UNPACK THERE. I CANT DO THIS

- "im saying were all thinking about how i would be better off dead" IM KILLING MYSELFFFF

- nobody hmu ever again /j i am never going to stop thinking about the fact that hermie is canonically suicidal

- TORI SCORED LINCOLN HIGHER THAN TAYLOR LMAO

- HERMIE LOST.

- i had to take a big ol break just to process that shit. fuck. this is somehow making me even more insane hermie brained wtf

- HERMIE IS TELLING THEM TO JUST KILL SCAM???

- THE FACT THAT I JUST DID A DRAWING OF SCAM AND HERMIE WHOLESOME FATHER SON BONDING BEFORE THIS EPISODE. GOD

- "u dont like me, u idiot" 😦

- MY FUCKINGGGFG FACE RN. I. I

- NORMAL IS TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE WTF

- IM LITERALLYYY GETTINF OAKWORTHY CONFESSION SCENE. ON MY BDAY.

- HERMIE DIDNT DO IT FOR HIS SCHOOL???

- HE. HE. HE DID ALL OF THIS FOR HIS DAD. HES LITERALLY JUST LIKE ME FR.

- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUUUUCK. OAKWORTHY NATION. WE ARENT REALLY WINNING BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

- THIS IS LIKE WHEN GLENN WAS SAYING THE ONLY THING LEFT FOR HIM IS TO KILL HIS DAD THIS IS SO UPSETTING

- ANTHONY ASKING IF NORMAL ACTUALLY GENUINELY LIKES HERMIE. I CANT DO THIS

- GUYS WE GOT AN ANCHOR BREAKING W LOVE BC OF OAKWORTHY. JUST LIKE WE WANTED

- will campos really holding on strong for us. normal is gonna fix hermie if its the last thing he does ig

- THE BABY AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON WAS STEWIE????

- THERES STILL LIKE ANOTHER HALF HOUR LEFT I FEEL SICK

- NICKYS BACK i wasnt expecting him this episode yippee

- THEYRE IN SPACE. AND HERMIE IS THERE. THIS IS THE PERFECT EPISODE FOR ME

- im being so serious guys when i say i think this may be my fave episode of the whole season so far it is boggling my mind and smashing my heart to pieces and im loving it

- "u can be polygamous in space" there are so many good lines this episode

- I LOVE HOW EXCITED BETH IS ABOUT THE TELEBANGLE

- i also love whenever freddie talks about sciencey mathy stuff that i dont understand

- ARE THEY SERIOUSLY ALL MARRYING EACH OTHER??? IS THIS REALLY WHATS HAPPENING???? HELPP

- SCARY SIGNED AS TERRY. W A HEART. YALL.

- THIS EPISODE IS A FUCKING FEVER DREAM I SWEAR

holy fucking shit. what a rollercoaster. so yeah guys i think that was my fave episode of the season wow. what a bday gift to me. herman unworthy is just like me fr. i am going to take an eternity to recover from this.

[12romy]

I’m curious about two of you WIP

I already know your name

2. A twist of fate

Oh boy, those are big ones! Put under the cut because mention of Jules Bianchi for one and mpreg for the second so you've been warned!

1- The first one is actually one of my favourite, I am really excited to publish it but I only wrote 1/3 of it (1/3 being already 90k, help), and I'm a bit stuck at the moment... So I'll try to write a bit more before I start publishing it.

To make it easy, imagine 2019 Charles being teammate with Seb at redbull in 2010. Chaotic, right? Now add a bit (lot) of "Jules is alive but might not be for long if Charles can't save him"-related angst, hate sex, Brocedes being disgustingly in love, Micheal causing drama (beloved) and Jenson causing drama (derogatory), and Seb being the paddock whore. Yeah, I know, that's a lot 🤣

Anyway, I struggled to pick one moment but here's the snippet! Don't hesitate to ask more about this fic I'm litteraly dying to talk about it, and I'm struggling a bit rn...

Floppy blond hair, round cheeks, blue eyes, and fat lips wearing an annoying grin. Yeah, that was Sebastian Vettel. Of fucking course.

“Oh, you’re the new guy!” Vettel exclaimed, beaming. “You’re that Leclerc kid, right?”

In his former life, the first time Charles saw Sebastian properly – which meant not on TV or from afar – was at Jules’ funerals. Sebastian was carrying the coffin, and their eyes met for a second. They shared a second, there, of pure sorrow and sadness. They were both crying, yet Charles couldn’t help to find Sebastian beautiful in his grief, as much as he hated that expression on him. It had made him want to never see him this sad, this desperate.

As ridiculous as it sounded, he had felt some sort of connexion with the man ever since, even if they were never truly close. He had hoped they would become friends, once they were teammate at Ferrari. And now, it was all ruined. He’d never be friend with Vettel. He had to steal a championship from him, he didn’t have to time to make friends with him-

Oh, wait.

Actually, if Formula One had taught him anything, it was that it didn’t cost anything to be nice out of the tracks. Usually, people answered with the same kindness. He knew Vettel wasn’t one to play nice, but it didn’t cost anything to try, right? Might be best to get as many allies as he could, and if it meant manipulating Vettel a little… After all, if he didn’t play to the psychological war soon, he was going to lose before it even began. He had studied Vettel’s behaviour, on and off tracks. He knew he was one to ignore team orders, annoy his teammate as much as possible, and be cocky in every situation.

God, he was missing older Sebastian so much. He was more mature and responsible, and less reckless. In his mind, Charles thought him easier to beat because he was softer, but he never had the time to test that theory. This Vettel was not the same. All smiling and harmless in appearance, until he revealed his true nature. Just a technique to lure you into trusting him.

Charles put a smile on his face – pretty convincing, if he had a say in it, and extended a hand. “Charles Leclerc, yes, it’s so nice to meet you,” he said cheerfully.

Vettel shook his hand with an easy smile that had the ability to absolutely piss Charles off. It looked like the man didn’t see him as a threat at all.

“Nice to meet you too, Charles, I’m-”

“Please, I already know your name,” Charles couldn’t help but cut him. “You’re pretty famous already.”

“Wait until I get my first championship,” Vettel teased, winking.

“Not if I get it first,” Charles replied on a light tone, as if he couldn’t feel the tension behind the conversation, the threat. Don’t you dare be a problem to me, was what Vettel meant. Oh, but I will be, was what Charles answered.

2- Now, the second one has some tw because it has mpreg + pregnancy denial... Remember when Pierre needed an echography last season because he had a stomach ache or something? Well boom, he discovers he's 8 months pregnant and about to give birth, which explains the pain. Let's just say he ends up pretty traumatised and abandons the baby. He does give Pyry the name of the other father so he can warn him and it turns out to be.......... Lewissssss (obviously). So you have a fic with double pov alterning from Pierre dealing with his trauma and Lewis dealing with a baby.

I don't know exactly where I'm going with the romantic pairings, I don't know if I want Pierre and Lewis to end up together at the end... With the way it's going I'm afraid it's gonna end up with a polycule Lewis/Nico/Vivian and I don't know what to do with Pierre. If you want to talk about it I'm interested, I got a writer block with this one as well XD

Lewis didn’t sleep a wink that night. He dropped Roscoe to Angela at 5am and was on the plane less than an hour later. He took a taxi straight to the hospital and joined Pyry in the parking lot. They got inside through a back door and a nurse led him to a small nursery room.

“Go on, she’s in there,” Pyry told him gently. He stepped closer to the glass crib where he could only see a small bundle of blankets.

And there she was, in the middle of the bundle, sleeping peacefully.

“Oh my god,” he choked out, overwhelmed. The nurse beside him said something in Italian which Pyry translated. “You can hold her, if you want.”

“What?” Lewis shout-whispered, terrified. “No way, she’s so tiny, I’m gonna hurt her!”

“You won’t, the nurse will show you how to hold her right,” Pyry told him gently.

A first tear fell from his eyes the second she was secured in his arms, then if felt like he couldn’t stop crying. She was there, against his chest, warm and alive.

And when she opened her eyes for the first time, looking at him with bright curiosity, he came to a decision.

“What’s her name?” he asked, sobbing.

“She doesn’t have one...” Pyry said awkwardly.  “Maybe wait for the DNA test before naming her, though...”

“I don’t need to wait,” Lewis shook his head. “Whether or not she’s mine, I’ll raise her.”

[calderskillday]

A COURT OF FEY & FLOWERS EPISODE 8 liveblog!!!!!!!

it's catchup time babeyyyy let's go

frog-binx

HORNY GRANDFATHERS

emily's giggle is the most adorable thing

DEV PATEL AND MICHAEL B JORDAN

i LOVE that emily is so in on the green hunter hahaha this is so fun

"the ventriloquist dummy is doing a bit about it"

oh my god lou's rumour and the way he has squak start it 😭😭😭

every single lords of the wing aside is just SO GOOD

"I WANT A BOX OFFICE HIT I DONT WANT A FUCKING OSCAR"

lmao grabalba 😭😭

"can i knock one out cause it's insane" oh lou what do you have up your sleeve

OH MY GOD EMILY CRYING THROUGH THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED

you're tired?? i'm the one who's dying!!

LOU TRYING NOT TO SPIT OUT HIS MOUTHFUL LMAO

THE PIXIE OFFICE BOXXXXX

i am obsessed with the way the letters spawn scenes gahhh

ohhhhh this could get interesting..... the flash to omar and back to surena when chirp mentions the unseelie court......

"spectacularly deceptive and slippery"

how do you lie without becoming sleepy 🥺🥺🥺🥺

waaaahhhh chirp and binx talking about magic on the mortal plane 🥺

BEING AROUND HIM IS LIKE BEING IN A SHOWER THATS THE PERFECT TEMPERATURE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

literally squealing over the invisible wedding ring 😭😭😭

SHE DIDNT DELIVER IT

emily saying that chirp's gonna come back to find wuvvy in 40 years when her wife dies hahahaha so true

I AM YEELLLLINNGGGGG

I WANT TO KNOW YOU LIKE NO ONE ELSE LOVES YOU

KNICKOLAS PNACKLESS

lou's moan as aabria says the letter was ripped up 😭😭😭

"but for you, yes" OH MY RUEWUVVY HEART

NOOOOOOOO THIS MAKES ME SHIP THEM HARDER

BOMB. DROPPED.

gahhhh the lords of the wing are so fucking unhinged <3

lmao squak mad-libbing his letter to apollo

omg rue being offered a spot in the chorus???

SURENA'S REACTION TO THEM MENTIONING WUVVY SKFKKGG

emily and lou LOSING it over the potential of being offered the job of MC hahahahaha

BANISH THE THOUGHT OF COURTS

YEEEEAHHHHHH RUE TELL EM

omg the table's reactions yesssss

god suntar's whole vibe is so hot

oh my god the editing??? seeing everybody's heads turn when suntar says strawberries.....???? hoooo boy

TWENTY NINE????

"come on, grabalba!!"

oh hob 🥺🥺

YEAH WORKING WITH ANDHERA IN AN OFFICIAL CAPACITY

what matters the amenability of a soldier 😭😭😭

MY BUSINESS IS MY OWN 🤭🤭🤭

literally screaming

HOB AND BINX SOBBING TO EACH OTHER SIFJGKGISIGLSLF

brennan and surena are COMEDIC GENIUS

i am literally holding my breath oh my god

LETS GO ANDHERAAA

OOOOHHH SNAAAAPPPPP

PILLAR BOY, WHERE

god emily and lou are truly some of the best improvisers just...ever

LMAO THEYRE GETTING EVICTED BY GRANDFATHER, ABSOLUTELY SAVAGE

WHAT A LOVELY DAY TO WALK YOUR SUITCASE

ANDHERA CAST LOCATE OBJECT ON THE LETTER SKFUSKGI HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS WHO AIRRY PEARRY IS

i am cRYYINNGGG

"my mind just got dressed down" "mmhmm, mmhmm, mmhmm" "ah yes ventriloquist dummy" WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS

oh my GODDDDD NOT LOU ROLLING A NAT 20 INSIGHT AND OSCAR ROLLING A NAT 1 THIS COULD NOT BE MORE PERFECT

andhera's "what the FUCK" HAHAHAHA

HHHHHHHHH WE'RE NEARING ENDGAME FUCK

PHEWWWWWW

[eurydicees]

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO RECOMMEND 'BLUE LOCK' TO YOUUUU!!! IT'S SO GOOD!! PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS!!

OH MY GOD YES OKAY I AM SOOOOO GLAD TO HEAR YOU ASK ABT THIS BECAUSE I AM LITERALLY INSANE OVER ALL OF IT. I AM UNWELL. I AM NOT ACTING NORMAL ABOUT THIS STORY.

okay anyways now that i've gotten that out of the way. oh my god okay favorite characters lets do this

tbh i am soooo in love with, like, 99% of them. the only character i am actually annoyed by is barou but i also feel like he could grow on me with a few more chapters, yk? oh! just to clarify, i've read up to chp 71!! so some spoilers up until then incoming :) i'm a little insane as i get ready to keep reading. i skipped out on a party to do this LMAO. so favorites! but not in any order because i can't do that!

bachiraaaaa!!! oh my god he is my boy. he is everything to me. just,,, you expect me to read the words "there is a monster inside of me" and expect me to NOT go insane abt it? he plays because it's fun and he's at blue lock to find someone who has the same monster, the same desire and passion, he is SO much and i am obsessed with it. literally the moment he stole the ball from isagi in the tag game they played, i KNEW. he's my type of character fr. rin telling him that "you're searching for someone with your soccer" i'm gonna fucking scream. oh and also he's the sleepy boy representation that i need, so.

^^things i'm not !!! ok !!!!!! about !!!!!

reo.... i just think he has sooooo many issues and they are so so so interesting. like, this is a character who gets everything he wants and then the one thing he really desires is just out of his reach. he is so broken up about nagi, too, and i loooove to see that in my pathetic little men. top ten things that had made me insane so far: reo saying "have you forgotten our promise" in reference to him saying they're going to be the best in the world, followed immediately by nagi saying that he's the one who's forgotten their promise, in reference to reo saying "let's play soccer." i'm literally howling at the moon. screeching at the sun like a bat. i am going crazy over this.

^^^reo you literally have so many problems and i NEED to see you self-destruct

isagi!! tbh idk if i'm really usually a main character person, but i'm a little in love with isagi. he's just. SO interesting. every time he talks about devouring other players' skills and making them his own....i am literally losing my mind. in the game against chigiri, kunigami, and reo, when isagi talks about devouring barou's darkness and turning it into light....catch me literally screaming out loud about him. his growth and "leveling up" is SO much fun to watch/read and i AM dying over it. every time he learns a new weapon or figures out how to better use one, i AM in my bed pumping my fist and screaming go best friend you go best friend!!! i believe the next chp is the game against bachira, rin, aryu, and tokimitsu, and i can already feel myself losing it a little bit.

^^^HELLO?????? I'M NOT OKAY ??????

chigiri! i'm not as insane about him as i am about the others, but i do love him very very much. the "i play for that joy i felt the first time i outran someone" and the "for as long as my legs work i want to play soccer" moments genuinely had me crying no joke. and his whole deal at the very start with "i was looking for a way to give up" versus his growth to wanting to beat isagi and become the best in the world... i am sooo unwell about it. in, like, fifty chapters he's grown SO much and i am so excited to see where he goes from here. and i think the match up between him and aryu is gonna be reeeaaalllyyyy interesting, too!! super excited to see how that pulls through. ahhh. he's just soooo.

^^literally trembling as i read this again

ahhhh. yeah ok extensive list oops. i think those are all the main faves right now !!! i am so broken about them and it has literally been 13 episodes and 70 chapters. that's so fucked up.

the thing is just that this show was, like, TAILOR MADE to all of my interests. it's sooo high stakes and for what. it's my favorite sport in real life. it has characters who need therapy for real. god. yeah.

[praseodykemium]

2:48 am 6 April 2024

tonight I ate a huge block of chocolate and I felt like killing myself. I'm not suicidal. My right thigh really aches where I sometimes cut it months ago. And now while writing, I feel like shitting myself because my stomach does this surrendering thing when I feel any strong emotions. I'm not even sure what emotion it is this time.

Sometimes I cry out of nowhere. The tears just come I am not in control of them. They are usually preceded by some screeching from me. I don't know why I do that either. I hurt my close ones doing that and I don't like it.

I don't have any friends I can talk to. Well I was talking to a friend in the evening (11pm) and the discussion kinda upset me (made me feel like a worthless creature who should cease from existence), and so I watched 6 episodes of Fleabag and related and laughed and felt a lot of things but mainly- "what am I doing with my life? Have I no ambition? I should be studying for an exam next year and not enjoying something" <— that (the last two sentences) was actually from the discussion with the friend.

She said we are all born equally smart. Some just work harder than others. And she compared me and meghna (who is ofcourse better than me despite me besting her in most of our school exams in 12th. She was a topper in 11th and I was not. I'm glad in a way that everyone remembers that. I really hated expectations. But yeah that kinda stung. It wasn't the main hit, far from it). She said that her parents and loads of other doctors work REAAALLY HARD and ARE PERRRRFECTLY HEALTHY (when I told her that over pressuring yourself with work is gonna bring a cerebral stroke and you'll die early and not get to enjoy any of your money and respect and freedom.)

SO THEN IN MY HEAD, MY STUPID MIND TWISTED THST SENTENCE AND MADE IT INTO "OH I CALLED YOUR BLUFF. YOURE JUST OVERREACTING. CEREBRAL STROKES ARE A MYTH BECAUSE OHHHHHH LOOK ST ME BOASTING MY SUPER FIT AND HEALTHY AND ALIVE PARENTS WHO WORK ALL DAY!!!!!" (I hope that everyone she thought of in that list of perfectly healthy and alive workaholics STAY HEALTHY AND WELL AND ALIVE. MAY SHE NEVER FIND OUT THAT BITTER BITTER BLOW THAT CHANGES YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD. MAY SHE NEVER LOSE HER PARENTS YOUNG. GOD BLESS EVERYONE SHE THOUGHT OF AND MORE 🛐)

BUT FUCK YOU VERSHA FOR SAYING THAT because unknowingly you touched a nerve I didn't even know I still had alive. FUCK ME. God I hate everything. I really relate to fleabag rn even though I have no qualifications other than my dad dying to feel relatable to her saying "I feel like crying. All the time."

Its been 3 years and I still haven't gotten over my drunk brother (cousin) molesting me at 15. Because we were really close at a point in time (YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP). AND I TRUSTED HIM MORE THAN ANYONE. I AM STILL NOT OVER IT.

i feel I was hypersexual from as long as I can remember. I had this repeating dream-vision-imagination thing that I am in a hospital lying with my lower body uncovered naked and the doctor calling in my super older than me ( when I was 15 he was 23 or something and the younger one was probably 21) cousin brothers— to come and stare at my genitals. I have had this dream thingy since as long as I can remember. It was often repeating in my head. I do not know why. I was assaulted YEARS later by the both of them on multiple separate occasions but that foreshadowing was thoroughly confusing and unasked for and really fucked up my childhood.

I have been masturbating since as long as I can remember as well. I don't know what's wrong with me. But I'm terrified of men. And I am terrified of being penetrated. I would rather die a virgin honestly. But I'm also really fucking horny all the time. But I really really really do not want anybody to touch my naked body ever.

whenever somebody invades (accidentally or otherwise) my personal space, I have this passive surrendering feeling wash over me like a drug. Like I know that I hate it, I'm aware of me hating someone doing that but it's just that twisted horny part of me or something else maybe i don't know that forces me to remain stationary like a soldier called to attention. I let the intrusive hand finger thigh do whatever the fuck it wants to do and I stay completely still. It's not supposed to be this way. I'm a strong (not really), adult (19 in June this year), aware (vividly aware of articles and awareness videos, Wikipedia and RAIIN articles about every sexual assault terminology, their after effects, mental disorders, percentages, everything) woman with a brown belt in karate. I should do better than this. But my STUPID FUCKING TWISTED MINDED BODY REFUSES TO SEE REASON AND FOLLOW THROUGH WITH MOVING AWAY. SO YEAH FUCK ME I GUESS IM NOT GONNA GIVD CONSENT BUT I CAN JUST STAND HERE AND BE A REALLY GOOD WANKING MATERIAL FOR YOU.

I have to sleep it's 3:27 am now. And I really hate Martin (Claire's i.e. fleabag's sister's husband) from Fleabag.

I think fleabag's therapist scene brought this rant on. And my right thigh really fucking hurts.

[winderlylandchime]

And we are at 2x11 1/2: The man is feeling so confident in his new found “chill” because he didn’t lose his mind the last episode that he is now sure he can watch the entire season without any smoke breaks (yes, i typed this out while having war flashbacks to ethan):

‘Oh that’s a lot of boobies..wait its their bachelorette? They’re actually going through with it? Oh boy. SEE EVEN THE PSYCHIC KNOWS ITS A BAD IDEA!!!’ ‘Now that is a way to get out of a wedding! I need a similar excuse to get out of that check up later this week’ i wish you could see this man because he is feeling so relaxed since he’s so sure in himself that the worst is over for some reason. ‘OH MY GOD HE IS TAKING JUSTIN TO MIAMI! HE WANTS TO TAKE MY BOY TO MIAMI EVEN THO THATS WHERE HE’S SUPPOSED TO FUCK ALL THE GUYS!!! OH MY GOD! Brian..let’s revisit the Love town..come one just say it to him!’ ‘…i get it’s their wedding but let my boy have fun without guilt trips. Plus i bet my *looks at his wallet* shit…um, i bet my…my…CIGARETTE! That they won’t last so who cares if he misses it’ and now he is losing his shit once again because of Ted and his blanket comments. He is still very sure of himself since these last two episodes have given him false security. SERIOUSLY. How many more signs do you need that you shouldn’t get married? *linds says the same thing but she says bc theyre gay* NO! NO! NO THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID! The reason you shouldn’t get married is because y’all suck! You as a couple make as much sense as those subtitles yesterday’ (he watched an episode of Criminal Minds while high as a kite and accidentally set the subtitles to Chinese and then proceeded to try and convince me that he was chinese in previous life since he can understood them..he was very sad and relieved when he discovered what happened) *pauses tv* ‘oh so let me get this straight *raises hand to brian’ no offense. So, melanie *said in that childish mocking voice* hates brian 24/7, practically wished him to die last season so that he could sign his insurance whatever to Gus, is a horrible bitch to him every time I see her and YET YET!! The second shit hits the fan, she comes crying to him for help…hypocrite..might wanna look that one up melly. And of course he is going to help’ He is now hoping that they put a montage of everyone getting their jobs done for the wedding. And now he is getting distracted by showing me the Legally Blonde montage when she gets her shit together that he keeps on his phone bc it’s his favorite scene ever and he watches it when he needs motivation..just when i thought nothing could surprise me.. ‘i truly appreciate that the fact that this man made pickles never goes unnoticed! I wish i could eat a pickle. Why did i promise mom I wasn’t gonna eat a pickle..*looks at the ceiling* yo, big guy, give me a sign if i shouldnt eat one.’ At this point i had to step in and be responsible to wish he just went ‘you’re no fun, the pickle guy would appreciate me risking it all for him’

Okay I need to go directly to that fact that he set the subtitles to Chinese and then thought he knew Chinese. I AM DYING WITH LAUGHTER.

"Hand to Brian, no offense." And yes, explain Melanie running to Brian to fix their wedding (I wonder if your brother will begin to notice a theme of QAF and Brian and weddings...) when she hates Brian except for the fact that she knows her future wife is in love with him. I don't get it.

HE HAS THE LEGALLY BLONDE MONTAGE ON HIS PHONE. Get this man a GLAAD award, honestly.

The pickle guy WOULD NOT appreciate your brother risking his life for him. In fact... (oh.. I always get sad over George).

[theodoraflowerday]

heartstopper s2e6 live episode reaction

okay

would you feel better if I waited here? - no please come with me

oh I'm going thru it

AAAAAAAAAA the cringe it is UNBEARABLE

children of not-super-estranged-but-still-not-close dads all over the world are going AA

"ah I miss that boy" THAT IS YOUR SON OH MY GOD

oh my fucking godddddddddd

sarah is the only functional parent in this series sweet baby jesus

"he just doesn't know me" oh my god

oh my god I shouldn't have watched this at work LMAO

haha oh my fucking god

OH MY GOSHSKFJDKRJDKGJFKRJDLRK

THOSE BOYS ARE SO HAPPY

SAHAR'S "BUT IT WASN'T A MISTAKE!!!"

THREE TIMES?????

oh my god I want a group of friends lol

omg tao went WHAT ARE WE on elle skdlfjslgkdlfk

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GIVING ME ANOTHER HICKEY SJFKDJFKDJFKFJG

NOOOOIKDJFKDJ

I GET STRESSED ABOUT EVEYRYTHING YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL

nick how are you this perfect

oh my GOD MR AJAYI AND MR FAROUK AAAAAAAAAA

oh man I know "I don't think there's an age limit on those tbh" is gonna hit all of us dumb adults watching this show jdkfjdktjdktjd

YOU FLIRTING WITH ME? - MAYBE JAKFJDKFJFLDJFLFUFODIDPSO

DARCY'S PRESENT FOR TARA IM IN TEARSJDKFJSKFJDL

the lil moment with nick and charlie seeing other queer people I am going to rip all of my appendages

charlie spring: hoodie thief

NOT THE RECHARGING BITNIM LOSING MY MIND

they're SO SOFT IM DYING

I hate you - no! you like me! - I really don't HSKFJSKFJDKFJ KILL ME

EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PERFECT FOR TARA SHE'S A PRINCESS OH I'M DUINGJFKFJDKJF

I want to grab tara and hold her and never let her go my baby girl

NOT TAO AND ELLEJSKFKSLFKSLFISLFI

LMFJSLFJSLFK charlie's got fuckin game oh my god this loser ass bitch has THREE people crushing on him (though like I don't think you can call nick's feelings a crush when he's his future husband AND ben is a psychopath)

I have been relating probably a little TOO MUCH to isaac this season ngl

"we keep escaping parties to hang out with each other" "are we gonna do it every time?" "I hope so" oh okay yeah that just sent me into a spiral

I want your midnights but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new years day ass behavior my lord

soulmatism idc

"not running away this time though" "please don't" jesus fucking CHRIST

did y'all know I love darcy cause I love darcy

charlie's "no" and then closing the door on harry HSKFJSKFJDKFJ ICON BEHAVIOR

now I need someone to shove ben down that balcony

imogen and sahar? oh that was scorned lover type of behavior I'm seeing the vision

CHARLIE COME ON I KNOW YOU'VE LOVED ME FOR YEARS

OH MY GODKDLSKDLSKDLSKSLD

I don't understand why they keep inviting ben to these things. that man is like literally a fun murderer. he's an asshole in many ways but also like fucking gross idc

OH LGO

OH SHIT NICK

OH NICK

OH BABY

OH THAT WAS SO BRAVE

me, who has read those books like a hundred times: OH NO WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY BE SAYING

james is so fuckin sweet "do you wants us to keep it a secret" oh baby

AAAAAAAAAAA

oh my fucking GOD darcy jesus

not even a discretion shot? fuck that was ajdksjfldnno

"why did I get into teaching" same

the piggyback I'll fucking DIE

those hugs look so comfy jesus christ

they're literally the most precious baby boys I'm going to fucking die

my GOD that's whore behavior right there

oh my god that's so fucking cute

the muffled WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS I'm

IMOGEN IS CUDDLED UP WITH SAHAR OG MY HOD

"I have to be perfect for you" DARCY BABY NOOOOOOOOOOO

oh baby darcy

OOOOOH MY GOD YOUSSEF

OOOOHHHHHHH

me, knowing everything that happens w mr farouk and mr ayaji: AAAAA WHATS GONNA HAPPEN

I'm actually so obsessed with nick constantly using charlie as a pillow lmao

THE MR FAROUK PHOTOODOFIODFIOSDILDGJDKKFK

oh man that episode was so fucking sweet even though it made me cry lmao