#and oh my fucking god i am crying losing my mind dying

[foxstens]

kevin getting angry at neil for not taking his health seriously and telling neil to run then promising to teach him every night and keeping neil's binder safe without looking what's in it and calling wymack to make sure neil is okay after winter break and offering to talk about riko if neil wanted to

[pippin-katz]

The Awardist - Nicholas Galitzine & Taylor Zakhar Perez

I have to write down the best bits and record my thoughts while listening to this because I am completely losing my mind over what is our first real interview with the boys that was recorded in real time.

27:55 - right off the bat we got a great inside joke/reference from the host that had me cackle

28:19 - taylor being happy to see their faces and nicholas immediately shutting him down like "well i'm not happy to see taylor's face"

28:40 - taylor joking about putting a post-in note over nick's face lmfao

29:30 - the way they don't want to talk over each other, it's giving alex's bedroom flashbacks

29:40 - nick being like "oh! oh, it's good!" when dipping into the online response when the movie released lmfao 😆

30:33 - the silence following the social media question where they were apparently nodding followed by taylor saying they were texting each other like "mate" "mate" back and forth

31:20 - THEY TALKED ABOUT THE SIGNING WARS

31:44 - nicholas calling taylor "this little fucker" had me dying cause me and @meraki-yao were literally referring to him as that in our conversation on ig yesterday

32:00 - nicholas genuinely asking taylor "what possessed you to do this?"; it's giving storage closet in the children's hospital vibes when henry's like "why do you dislike me?"

33:04 - "take it nick" immediately upon being asked the dense question regarding fans reacting to their portrayals of henry and alex, and the way that nicholas laughs and stutters makes me think that taylor totally did that on purpose to mess with him lmfao

34:00 - taylor stopping to talk to fans regardless of where he is or where he's going and specfically mentioning how meaningful it was that people have said *TW* they were contemplating suicide when they read the book/watched the movie and that it helped them 🥺

35:40 - the host referred to the film as "a coming out story", which i don't really agree with as a label because the coming out portion is an added piece of their relationship as two public figures, but their love is the actual story

36:40 - nicholas referring to the film as "wholesome and funny" made me smile so much because it truly is wholesome

37:18 - not the host making the "top to bottom" joke 😭

37:58 - nicholas and taylor have talked about their friendship with each other and how they instantly clicked; nick knew within a few minutes of rehearsal that taylor was "his buddy" 🥺

38:41 - catch me squaring up with everyone who has made nicholas self conscious and self deprecating about doing so much intimacy work on the screen that he refers to it as "basically his thing" like that's all he's recognized for; i am so ready to punch some motherfuckers 😡

39:10 - "it's so fun now, seeing my mate at all these awards and stuff"; catch me fucking crying

39:24 - not taylor misremembering the "nicholas or joey" question as "who was the better kisser"; he totally combined the "is nicholas a good kisser" question with the "who has your heart tonight" question

40:05 - taylor talking about matthew's background in theatre and how they got to actually rehearse with each other; i will never stop being insanely grateful that matthew is a theatre guy

40:55 - the way i said "oh my god" out loud because i was so excited by the question

41:14 - improvised the "physicality" of the store room; i.e. they just fell on top of each other and clamored around 😂

41:32 - the way i literally gasped so hard that i started coughing when nicholas called taylor "tay", i am not even fucking joking, that was so fucking cute 😭

43:42 - fucking wheezed upon realizing where the question going

44:02 - the knowing way taylor was like "i will take this one" lmfao

45:10 - not me going so red from second hand embarrassment 🫣

45:44 - taylor bringing the jockstrap that nicholas wears in bottoms, and nicholas immediately adding "i won't even go into mary & george" 😂

47:51 - taylor finishing nicholas' sentence about matthew's direction for the cake scene; sharing a braincell lol

48:36 - taylor's dog passed away the night of the first day of filming like wow, that fucking sucks 🥺😭

49:05 - "everyone's looking at me with these sad eyes" made me so sad but then taylor said "do you want some tea?" in a terrible british accent lmfao

49:50 - nicholas complimenting and boosting taylor's performance while having such a hard time emotionally 🥺

50:49 - taylor bringing up running through the museum; i can hear the smile in his voice while talking about it 😭

51:28 - they filmed the kensington palace fight and the red room the week after nicholas got covid

52:40 - oh my god, the way you can hear nick grinning as he throws taylor under the bus for the sequel question 😂

53:30 - taylor wants a second book to base the sequel off of

54:03 - taylor used they/them pronouns for casey!! see? he knows, it was totally nerves

55:20 - it felt like it was over too soon, i desperately need more of them PLEASE 😭

This is the greatest thing that's happened in like, a month for me lmfao I am literally begging for more people to interview the boys about RWRB, I am so fucking desperate for more content of the two of them together. They are everything to me 🥺

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[alipeeps]

Episode 30

I think I'll have to skip doing gifs for these last few commentaries, or it'll take me days to get through them all... 😭

Oh dang, Zhou Yichen's words are weighing on Li Lun.

Zhu Yan gave Li Lun the Truth Eye?!! 😭

What I don't get about this show is that they act like these two have been enemies for centuries.... but we know from the timeline it's been 8 years! They fell out and Li Lun was sealed 8 years ago just before the blood moon where Zhu Yan lost control.

"How long has it been since we played Go so peacefully?"

"I don't remember anymore"

IT'S BEEN EIGHT FUCKING YEARS!! 😂

It never had to be this way Li Lun, you're the one who made this a zero sum game.

How are his eyes so big?

Yeah but of those two friends, Li Lun, only one is a) a mass murderer, and b) actively choosing to possess and kill the other. When it comes down to a choice of who gets to inhabit one body - the original owner of the body, who is a literal child, has far greater rights to it than the one who stole the body and has killed lots of people.

The thing is... this is lovely and dramatic and all... but it's so unnecessary. All y'all idiots had to do was what I suggested at the end of episode 29 - tie that fucker up until Zhuo Yichen gets back with the sword and then sever his primordial spirit and free Xiao Bai. Why let Li Lun loose to start a fight that risks losing the opportunity to save Bai Jiu?

Also, can we please bear in mind that only recently Zhao Yuanzhou had his inner core damaged and a lot of his demon power consumed... and was warned it would not be a quick recovery.

Ah fuck... and Li Lun knows it. Wait up tho.. he's lost ALL his demon power? And is no different from a human? Is that true? And will he get it back?

Oh nice! Your opponent... is me!

But AGAIN... this is so fucking unnecessary! I mean yeah, badass fight scene and all... but you could have fucking resolved all this safely while Li Lun was unconscious.

Give it up for baby bro!!

Wait did baby bro like.. DIE, die? He's a puppet infused with Pei Siheng's spirit... I didn't think he could die?

Ahhh fuuuck and Wen Xiao is using the baize power (though without the token, it seems?) which could exacerbate her poisoning...

Zhuo Yichen would you please just fucking do whatever it is you need to do to remove Li Lun's primordial spirit, while he is fucking restrained!! Please! You're killing me here!

Great. So Wen Xiao injured herself for nothing because you didn't take advantage of the opportunity offered.

YING LEI!! NOOOOOOOO!!!

Well, this is going fucking great. 4 out of 5 of the team are now incapacitated in some way.

Don't you fucking do it. Don't do it. Not Ying Lei. Please...

Don't die don't die don't die don't die

JFC Bai Jiu will never recover if his body is used to kill Ying Lei...

Oh fuck he's crying... is... is Bai Jiu fighting back?!

DOITDOITDOITDOITDOITPLEASEFUCKINGSAVEHIM

Here you go, stick him in this piece of wood. 😂

Oh fuck not just any piece of wood... the root of Li Lun's pagoda tree... given to Zhu Yan centuries ago... 😭

So that was what Zhao Yuanzhou meant by a draw... a chance for Li Lun still to live. You didn't even give him chance to explain what he was offering Li Lun...

OH FUCK there was more to that "Promise me" that Zhou Yichen agreed to!!

Ying Lei won't let go of him. My heart!!

Oh don't you fucking have Ying Lei die on me now??!!

I don't like this close up of his face with a blurry lens. Don't fucking do this to me...

It was. You're best boy, Ying Lei. You always have been.

I hate this. Please don't let him die.

How can a half-god, half-demon mountain god die from such wounds?

How dare you fucking finally give him the validation he has always been seeking - and always deserved - only as he's dying?

This is killing me. He didn't need to die. And they are dragging it out soooo long. 😭😭😭😭😭

You bastards. You fucking bastards. I am NOT ok.

Xiao Jiu. Come back to us baby boy.

He's going to be devastated about YIng Lei. 😭😭

Oh dang, he wakes up and the first person he sees is his mum!!

I am actually genuinely fucking crying.

So has he lost his demonic power permanently?

So... there's 4.5 eps left to go. Wen Zongyu is dead. Li Lun is defeated. Bai Jiu is rescued.

What's going to be the plot for the next 4 episodes? It can't all be about Wen Xiao's poisoning...

Is shit about to go down with Chongwu camp/the results of Wen Zongyu's demon hybrid experiments?

Why is this show so determined to rip my heart out and stomp on it?

Zhuo Yichen is best big bro

My precious baby mountain god... 😭😭😭

Your girlfriend still needs you, Sijing. The polycule still needs you.

What the fuck was he going to say?!!

After this? After WHAT?!!

Why the fuck is he talking like he might no longer be around to protect Bai Jiu?

This has to have been a hell of a trip for Bai Jiu... he wakes up from being possessed by Li Lun to find:

Mum's back Ying Lei's dead Zhuo daren's a demon

THAT'S A VERY GOOD FUCKING QUESTION, BAI JIU!!!

Why the fuck does it feel like he is saying goodbye?! Is he... is he planning to absorb the poison from Wen Xiao?!!

(Shit. I guess there's no longer an option for Zhao Yuanzhou to do that cos his demon power is gone...)

Fuck me, that is exactly what he's planning, isn't it?

Oh and is Zhao Yuanzhou planning the same? (Sorry, demon daddy, Xiao Zhuo Daren already knows that's the only option).

Are they going to be fighting over who gets to sacrifice themselves to save her?

You're damn right she wouldn't let you.

FUUUUUUCK. This episode destroyed me. I am an emotional wreck.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 14 thoughts

(after having seen this episode, i can confidently announce that it is making the top 15!!! god it was just!! so incredible!!! the undying devotion to each other!! i want to frame the way he cups her cheeks!!! i'm crying! you're crying! everyone cried!!!!!!!!)

ah, this episode. i have seen this one mentioned before. i’m interested to see if it was for good reasons or for bad reasons. i can tell that it will be angsty and hurt my feelings, but whether that is written in a way i approve of or not is hard to predict after my intense fight with last episode! and how mean mulder was!

so. reading this description. he’s going to look for answers for her. oh my god. AGAIN. not a mere coworker thing. but i digress. i have a feeling i’ll need to forget that part about their whole power dynamic from the last episode in order to move forward. 

also a little confused as to what the title is going to mean... i know it refers to a reminder of mortality, but in my art history course we looked at a bunch of memento mori art where skeletons just. burst into rooms. and interrupted dances. and i don't really want to see that today.

entering my forgetting mode…. okay. okay. i think i’m here. memory is blank. i am neutral. let us begin.

OH MY GOD SCULLY OPENING MONOLOGUE. okay hold it together. HOLD IT TOGETHER.

wait she’s writing something. who is she writing to? damn, she is very poetic when she puts her mind to it.

“hope you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you” wait. wait hold on. wait hold on….. wait. (insert that sobbing cat image here)

she thinks she is going to DIE?????????

is she writing a letter to go with her will or something?!?!?? wah…. WAHHHHH 

she holds an x ray of her brain (i think that’s what it is, sorry to the stem girlies if it’s some sort of other genre of scan) that clearly shows a tumor………..

:( :( :(

mulder has flowers!!! he is asking where to go in the hospital instead of just looking for the sign directly in front of him. this shows that he is very worried.

he sees her through a window and stares a bit…… before he comes in the room

“i, uh, i stole these from some guy with a broken leg down the hall. he won’t be able to catch me” <- you absolute liar saying ANYTHING to make her smile. oh my god and it WORKED and she’s smiling and he’s smiling and i’m gonna cry already 

look at how he’s looking at her…….. i cannot reconcile this with the last episode at all. i’m sorry, i cannot. and for this reason i once again toss it out of my mind.

HE’S THE ONLY ONE SHE’S CALLED!!?!!?!?? their relationship. it's just. so.

oh my god, she says she has cancer, and he immediately assumes it has to be treatable. she has to tell him it doesn’t seem to be. his unwavering faith...

“i refuse to believe that” <- oh my GOD. oh my GOD. his face his eyes oh my god. he cannot lose her.

“for all the times that i have said that to you, i am as certain about this as you have ever been” SCULLY NOOoOoOOoo

(it must be so horrific to be a doctor and know exactly how you’re dying and that there is nothing you can do…)

he looks so utterly lost and she is trying to hold it together to tell him that if it progresses, she will have no chance of survival. 

“i don’t accept that”, he says, stuttering in disbelief; “there must be some people who’ve received treatment for this. we can….” he fails to finish that thought

(his unwavering belief for even a second that they could find a way needs to be studied in a lab. this man is so intrinsically loyal to the 3 people he holds close it actually makes my heart hurt. i feel aching in my chest)

oh my god he is the DEFINITION of “everything i let go of is covered in claw marks”. he cannot BEAR to lose anything else. he is grasping so firmly to the idea that there HAS to be a way. and she is trying to be resigned to her fate. how strong she is, i think, as she puts on her bravest face, telling him she is going to die.

oh my god, she has to tell SKINNER???? what the fuck. i never even CONSIDERED that. he says he is so sorry while mulder is twisting around in the background because he cannot stay still in moments of stress; i’m recalling how he bounced his basketball up and down, up and down when she was in her coma

they’re going to try and track down the women from allentown they met last year who they talked to about the abductions and the neck implants before she begins any treatment. skinner is reminding them both that they have access to the best treatments in the country. but scully must know that the best isn't enough.

scully says she wants to pursue this through the justice department whilst mulder nods enthusiastically. skinner seems confused but he acquiesces. what else can you do?

so they go to allentown, where they are informed that betsy (the main woman that scully had spoken with regarding the abduction experience) just passed away. and the realtor doesn’t want to let them in before her garage sale, but mulder POINTEDLY pulls out his badge AGAIN, and you know his ass is going in whether she likes it or not. 

(the angry way he pulled out that badge did something to my heart)

scully is having terrible flashbacks from the last time she was here. poor girl...

the realtor is watching mulder pick up the phone and scully points out someone is sending a fax! realtor is just standing there. with hate in her heart.

they go down to the basement and find…. a computer. that someone is copying all of the files from remotely!! some guy named kurt is allegedly copying all that information down. off to kurt’s place. who are, you kurt? a force for evil, i assume?

he is not answering the door and mulder is going to to check the back instead of just wait there because again, he cannot sit still for a minute. and bam! they find kurt. woah. mulder takes him down QUICK. 

NO NO NO. she’s bleeding from her nose….. she says she’s fine. “quit staring at me, i’m fine” <- oh she is so not fine. those are not the words said by someone who is fine.

(after having seen this episode, i still can't stop thinking about this interaction. how angry she seemed to be seen as someone worth pitying or worrying over. how she must have known that would keep happening in the future, how she wanted to hold onto her agency for however long she had left in this world. there was fury in there to cover up the terrible insecurity that comes from fate being out of your hands and the perceived, if not intended, condescension of needing to be cared for. because she is the one that does the caring, and not the other way around. and how she tried so hard to keep working despite knowing the time was ticking, to tell mulder to stop worrying about her, keep his eyes on the mission and off of her... there's so much to be said)

more blood is dripping into the sink in the bathroom. mulder is knocking on the door, asking if she is okay.

(oh my gooood, i’m not sure which angle of angst is worse here: mulder watching scully suffer, blaming himself for if he cannot find a cure OR scully having to carry on through her sickness and see how terrible it is for people around her to grieve her while she’s still living)

this kurt fellow claims he was in the same UFO network, and was copying the files as betsy had told him to. he ran because he thinks the government is trying to suppress that information. hmm. mulder seems to believe him. but they can’t cross check him….

she asks why not, and mulder won’t answer. 

kurt says that all of the women scully met last year died from brain cancer, except for one who is in the hospital named penny, and it doesn’t look good for her.

kurt is insisting that this is in fact a conspiracy, but mulder says he needs to talk to scully. and he walks her out of his view.

oh my GOD i need to copy this whole exchange down hold on….

“i want you to listen to me” “about what?” “about what you won’t admit to yourself- what you’re denying” “what am i denying?” “where your cancer came from” “mulder, it doesn’t matter” “it does matter. if what you have is a result of your abduction and that abduction is something the government knows about, then those are facts that should be brought to light” “i don’t know what happened to me. i have no clear recollection. and i don’t think these abductions are even abductions”

(and when she said that line, she was so furious, thinking the distinction didn't matter in the face of impossible odds, but he insists that it does, because justice ought to be brought to light- and it's not him circling back to UFOs like he always does out of his own self-interest, it's him trying every so gently to break to her that this could be something much bigger than them, a way that she was wronged that ought to happen to no one else- but she still cannot even begin to process it)

“all these women are dead” “no, they are not. one woman isn’t- this penny northern”

(and the desperation in that line as well; there was anger there, a need to pull on any and all threads, so needed that it blew her cool cover about how detached she seemed to her own mortality- she wants to live)

“mm-hmm. if you won’t listen to me, then i think you should go talk to her”

(the gentleness here, how he is trying to softly nudge her, how carefully he keeps his voice even despite the audience KNOWING that he just wants to shake her, beg her to do anything at all that could help her)

“about what? what it feels like to be dying of cancer? what it’s like to know that there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it?”

(oh my god the FURY in her voice here… how she was trying to fight back her voice cracking)

“if that’s too hard for you, then i think you should go as an investigator. you have one remaining witness, agent scully. i’d think you’d want to know what her story is”

oh my god the subtle “agent” in there… the way he’s trying to remind her that she is capable and can maybe find a way out of this, just maybe. the way he kept his voice so even the entire time like he was putting every effort he had into it.

i think that conversation will haunt me forever. 

(god those two were ACTING. i just KNOW that when they got that script they were excited as fuck)

scully goes to visit penny, who remembers her, saying she held and comforted scully “in the place”

scully carefully tells her that she doesn’t remember this, but penny assures her that’s okay. penny thinks she’s here to ask about dr. scanlon, who is treating the cancer, and treated betsy’s too. my money is bet on the fact that he is actually making them worse….

apparently dr. scanlon thinks he figured it out what causes this kind of cancer. and scully has tears in her eyes. oh my god. is she believing the scanlon propaganda...?

mulder is going through a bunch of files with kurt, then he's on the phone with her. “now call me an early bird, but i think i found something” <- oh my god he’s such a nerd, even when he’s fighting for scully’s life….

he thinks this whole thing is connected to a local fertility clinic, but she doesn't want to hear his theories- she’s asking him to please bring the overnight bag from the car, and call her mom to ask for some things so she can be admitted for treatment.

his breathless “is there anything i should know?” and her answer: “mulder, whatever you found, or whatever you might find, i think that we both know that right now the truth is in me… and that’s where i need to pursue it. as soon possible” 

AND HE SAYS HE WILL BE RIGHT THERE 😭😭

see, this is what i love about them. how they can say so much with so few words, how they would do anything for each other; if one of them needed the moon, the other would start researching how to tear it from the sky. this bond that is so… it’s back to the old question, are soulmates natural or are they formed? with them, they just seem to have that connection. and even when their differences might lead them to fight, it is just a underlying current, that togetherness. and it seems so natural.

(but i just know that the minute he leaves the place, all the files he’s going through are going to somehow get destroyed! i have seen too much of this show to expect otherwise)

mulder slams the file cabinet shut before he leaves and kurt is looking around. what is he planning, this devious kurt fellow?

someone else drives forward as he pulls away. girl is it gonna be CSM?!?!

someone is approaching. okay, it is not CSM. whoever it is has the needle you use to kill the aliens!!! is it the alien bounty hunter? i cannot tell… these white men blend together and also he can shape shift so who tf knows.

but kurt is DOWN and he is BLEEDING THE FIZZY GREEN BLOOD!! kurt was an alien?!?!?! why didn’t he heal those women??! is he involved with making them sick???! i have questions. many many questions.

the fizzy stuff is like dissolving him. not sure we have time to unpack that.

scully is laying in the hospital bed…. dr. scanlon is watching. okay, creepy, but maybe doctors have to do that sometimes. 

she says she doesn’t feel sick, and i typed sock at first, which would be far more lighthearted, wouldn’t it, if she didn’t feel like a sock? 

i don’t trust this guy. 

he straight up says that the radiation and chemo is going to make her feel like she is dying. and at that moment, mrs. scully walks in. she is… very unsettled. and the doctor says they want to start treatment this afternoon. 

despite telling mulder she knows she is going to die, she is trying to reassure her mother that everything is fine. that’s very interesting to me. that she feels she can be honest with him about the lack of hope, but needs to lie to her mother.

mrs. mulder is furious that scully didn’t tell her right away, but she says she wanted to get the answers first. she’s shaking as she says she doesn’t want to be kept in the dark. damn. she really has suffered so much.

oh my GOD... she kisses her cheek and hugs her, saying that she has always been the strong one… but she is her only daughter now. and they hold each other. pain. pain. and suffering.

they’re putting her in some stuff for radiation as scully narrates the evil of cancer, how it becomes one with the person it targets. she says it’s science's answer to an exorcism.

WAIT SHE’S ADDRESSING MULDER?? she must be continuing her letter from earlier……

“and if the darkness should have swallowed me as you read this, you must never think there was the possibility of some secret intervention, something you might have done” STOP. the way she KNOWS he will always, always blame himself, and is trying to say something to stop him from doing so just this once.

he’s breaking into a place because he wants to find anything at all… hmm where is he doing some good old b&e today?

“and though we’ve traveled far together, this last distance must necessarily be traveled alone” no…. no :( no :( 

she knows that he will never stop searching for an answer… to the point where he won’t be able to lead his own life… and so she thinks she should go ahead alone… oh my god. oh my god. is she referring to the treatment process? or the inevitability of death?

he’s breaking into the fertility clinic that he mentioned before. gonna do some typing in the dark. but someone is here with him!!! who???

a guy in a sweater. “i’ve got a gun pointed at your head, turn around very slowly” mulder announces with PERFECT calm.

god i love him. have i mentioned that i love him? how he is willing to die and kill for the ones he loves? and how he is NOT just some bully or mean boss? yes. i’m bitter. 

IT’S KURT!! but we know it is NOT REALLY KURT. because we saw that kurt is dead. so it must be the alien bounty hunter in a new skin? WHAT DOES "KURT" WANT? 

“he” (whoever it is in the flesh suit that was once kurt’s) claims he is also trying to hack into the clinic's system, but can’t get the password right. i guess that he is going to hack and delete everything???

mulder picks up a snowglobe and guesses the password!!!!! yeahhh snowglobes.

woah. cutscene to something being drilled into scully’s head…. must be a flashback from the abduction.

penny is by scully’s side, telling her she’ll be okay as she wakes up from the nightmare. they grasp hands, scully says she feels sick, and that she had a dream where “someone was doing something bad to me”. apparently penny was allowed to tend to her during the procedures. but scully says she can’t hear this right now. 

penny says if she can make sense of it, it’ll help her through the pain, to understand why it is happening to her.

okay, cutscene to skinner’s office. where mulder is sitting before he even gets in there. “i need you to set up a meeting for me”. skinner says “hold all my calls” in that gruff voice of his. i like his serious voice. and i am tense, expecting a fight to go down, or tears to be shed, or something.

oh tea…. mulder found a file from the fertility clinic with scully’s name on it… but he says he’s sure, “pretty damn sure” that she’s never undergone treatment for infertility. this could be very awkward if he is wrong. he seems confident, though.... have they had further discussion about families like they did in home? but even if she WAS undergoing treatment, why would she do it in a random town in pennsylvania? so i guess that his confusion makes sense. 

so he wants a meeting with…. CIGARETTE MAN. “you’ve come to me like this before”, skinner points out, but mulder says he’s willing to DEAL NOW. he knows he’s behind all this. “you offer this man anything, and he will own you forever”, warns skinner. a real deal with the devil…

hold on. i just remembered that in canon CSM killed JFK and MLK jr and writes bad fiction. a wild fellow. and i’m also remembering how mulder broke into his house and asked “why her” with his gun pointing right to his head. i am remembering a lot of things.

mulder is yelling that CSM must have known what they did to agent scully. “but you can’t ask the truth of a man who trades in lies- i won’t let you” says skinner. oh damn…. oh damn. skinner just wants him to be safe but this isn’t going to go over well

they are staring at each other. and he insists that mulder find another way. damn, those two have been through a lot. all those times mulder should have been fired… skinner showing up covered in blood to track him down to some arctic alien base… that time mulder was experiencing psychosis and punched skinner in the face… skinner’s murder accusations… these two have such a fascinating dynamic. i love it. i really need to dive into that someday. i need fic of whatever the fuck it is that is going on between them.

so, what other way can mulder find? the lone gunmen, of course!!

they hack into her file from the clinic and see a gene code… it’s a DNA mutation.

“you guys ever been to the lombard research facility?” (everyone turns to frohike, who shakes his head) “well, pick out something black and sexy and prepare to do some funky poaching” <- LMAO i was surprised to get a genuine giggle during such a dark episode

(neeeeed to know how these dweebs met. all four of them. i know there’s a spin-off series so maybe someday i’ll learn the answers, but until then i’m concocting theories)

skinner is entering mulder’s office. but who is there…. NONE OTHER THAN CSM. “it’s funny,” he says, “i always thought of you as fox mulder’s patron” hey what does that mean. hey what does that mean. is skinner hiding something….?

ohhhh, skinner just accused him of being the devil. 

skinner says he needs a miracle… “what’ll it take?” he asks. OHHHH my god…. skinner loves those two so bad………. a deal with the devil for them….

CSM says that “he’ll have to get back to him on that” when it comes to what it will take for scully’s life…………. skinner what can you offer??????

lone gunmen are breaking into a storm drain. do you think the redhead and the long haired one with glasses are lovers? i think it might be more fun to imagine that they are. i never learned their names. perhaps i am a bad fan. 

mulder and the redhead set out!!! time to break into the facility!!!

okay i think the redhead is named byers? or else frohike’s making a reference i don’t understand. 50/50 odds on that.

they’re going in!!! they’re running!!! mulder has his leather jacket!!! byers (?) sees a keypad to enter a code.

(yes yes, his name is truly byers. we all learned something today. or at least i did)

OHHH, okay, the glasses one is langly. that name is familiar, actually. i appreciate how they are purposefully announcing the names for people like me. langly declares that this a toughie, and will take a moment to hack into. 

OMG!! the doctor treating scully’s cancer works at this research facility they're breaking into!!! I KNEW WE COULDN’T TRUST THAT MFER. i am innately suspicious of doctors. and langly gets them into the building. 

mulder tasks byers to GO TELL SCULLY TO STOP TREATMENT NOW because this scanlon fellow is a LIAR!!!!

(imagine how that went down...)

scully is writing to him again….. penny has taken downturn. “mulder, i feel you close, though i know you are now pursuing your own path” <-GIRL HE’S BREAKING AND ENTERING FOR YOU!!! THE PATHS YOU WALK ARE NOT SO FAR APART!!

“i need to know you’re out there if i am ever to see through this” oh my god….. he gives her hope to keep going…. something to fight for…

mulder is getting lost on the video feed while byers tries to make an escape…. but the cops are approaching!!!!!

he finds a door and slams on it… and who is inside but MULTIPLE KURT DUPES!!! the damn aliens!!!!!!

they welcome mulder in by name. he puts together that they are hybirds, and they beckon him in so they can explain in further detail.

there’s a creature in a tank i don’t much care for. okay. actually many many creatures in tanks. 

the kurts are saying they are trying to subvert the project that created “us”. OH! mulder sees into the tank and it’s the same shape of the boy he saw up in canada with his fake sister!!! so they are the end results… and they want the same thing he does??? i guess. 

he takes them to a room filled with “human ova”. including one from betsy. oh no… oh god… yes, they took it during her abduction, and from all the women they abducted, including scully. i don’t want to think about what “super ovulation” means. but mulder is shocked. imagine him having to explain to scully that he held her ova in his hands. and the procedure that leaves them barren (!!!) also gives them the cancer.

(frantically opens the wikipedia article for human ovaries before realizing i can figure out the details later)

this clearly has implications for their family planning chats. god, is he gonna be the one to tell her that she can't have children....?

but the kurts are trying to save them!!! because these women are their mothers!!!!

so, do we believe the kurts?? i'm not sure. if we know there are a bunch, does that mean the hacker kurt from earlier could actually be a good guy? or was he really the bounty hunter working on further nefarious actions?

bro straight up pocketed her ova. he’s a real one for that. do they have to be cold or something?? luckily, i have never had to ask these questions.

byers is currently dodging the cops, and the guy that killed OG kurt is now looking for some violence. 

NO…. mystery man is shooting at mulder!!!! the glass is bulletproof but it stopped being so after like 3 clips.

luckily the boys provide him an escape JUST IN TIME. shoutout to the lone gunmen fr.

he runs back to allentown and doesn’t find scully in her bed!!! but he finds her journal with the letters she had been writing to mulder. oh, he reads them....

where is scully?????? she’s with penny. penny is dying. she tells her that dr. scanlon isn’t coming back. and penny says that she’s been such a comfort, and to not give up hope. scully begins to cry.

mulder is sitting in a hospital chair at 5 am, falling asleep outside the room. finally, scully leaves penny’s room, crying. 

he confesses to reading some of what she wrote…. but she says he didn’t want her to read that. and that she has decided she’s not going to let this thing beat her. she looks so tired…. so sick…. 

was scalon killing these women in the name of the secret alien project? “that will be proven if we find him” “when we find him” OUGHHH 

she says she has things to finish, to prove to herself and her family. and he’s smiling at her. a real smile. telling her to come on back. 

ohhhh and they’re hugging. he’s tucking her head under his chin and rubbing her shoulder.

“the truth will save you, scully. i think it’ll save both of us” <-OHHHHHHHH MY GOD I AM GOING TO RIP AND TEAR AND YELL AND SCREAM AND HOLLER!!!

WAIT OH MY GOD I WAS SCREAMING BEFORE BUT THEN HE SO GENTLY TURNS HER AND KISSES HER FOREHEAD……. shut up. it’s so tender it’s so terribly tender. 

(a day later and i am still fixated on this. how terribly terribly gentle he is with her. it reminds me of how he held her face during beyond the sea, which, prior to this, was one of my favorite moments ever, and now i have TWO of them. he loves her so deeply in every sense of the word. and she loves him, deciding to keep fighting, to draw strength from him but also to honor herself, to achieve the things she has always meant to do, because she knows that she is worth fighting for)

finally they let go, and as she walks down the hall, he pulls out her ova from his pocket…. i’m so torn because my heart is still absolutely torn in half from how gentle that moment just was, but i’m also sitting here thinking… dude, do we need to get that into a freezer or something??

skinner answers the phone- at 5:30 AM! mulder says he was going to leave a voicemail and is shocked to hear him. mulder thanks him for his advice, and says it was wise to steer clear of CSM. they have to find out what he knows, but they need another way. skinner says there’s always another way, but as the camera moves, we see the room filled with smoke and a hand holding a cigarette…

he says “yes i believe there is, if you’re willing to pay the price” SKINNER BE CAREFUL I’M SCARED

do you think the writers purposefully associated cigarettes with the sleaziest and most awful character in order to get the children to stop smoking….?

end episode.

okay. i have so many thoughts. let’s start: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWAAAAAAAHHHHGGGGGGGGGGWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH

okay. that could have gone on for longer, but i’m going to compose myself. 

scully… my poor sweet scully, writing about her own death to mulder……… how helpless and resigned and furious she felt, yet still tried to be strong for her mother and for him…. how she decided to come back to work despite what she is going through…. the grief of mourning yourself and those around you mourning you… she looked so sick and exhausted, her terrible nightmares, being unable to accept what happened to her, holding penny close only to lose her too…. the incredible strength it takes her to decide to get back to work and keep fighting when everything hurts and the odds are so slim… god scully you really have suffered so terribly…. turning back from narrating her life in the past tense to the present tense…. it was very very very powerful

and mulder never for a single second ever stopping. how he completely refused to believe that anything was impossible. his smile when he brought the flowers to her in the hospital, the way his face fell when he realized what was going on, but refused to believe that anything could take her from him. the way he kept his voice even in the conversation in the hall. how he brought her the things from the car, how he barreled into her room when she wasn’t there, reading her journal in terror, how he smiled and held her, ran his fingers through her hair, gently kissed her forehead. how he took her ova, which sounds so crazy out of context, but in context it’s soul-crushing. he grabbed it for her. kept them in his pocket as she decided to keep fighting. a conversation for another day.

and skinner making deals with the devil, but only by himself, never even thinking to let mulder do it….

so where do we go from here?

if the treatment from dr. scanlon was making the patients worse, that immediate obstacle has now been removed. but that doesn’t fix the cancer itself. is skinner going to have to bargain with CSM? whatever CSM wants, it clearly isn’t money- so what could skinner even give him? my guess would be deactivating the x files in exchange for what will save scully, or maybe firing mulder entirely to keep him off of the trail of his nefarious alien deeds. or perhaps something even more evil, like access to one of those mars rocks with the oil aliens in them, or maybe someone important assassinated, maybe a coup in the syndicate (is that what their little UN alien groupchat is called? i saw it when i looked something up once).

man, skinner’s role in this was brief but substantial. what is he going to do? what sort of deal is he willing to make? i really really need to get into exploring the dynamic between the three of them more. it’s fascinating. how he won’t let mulder make the deal, but he’ll do it himself… he must really care for them a lot more than he lets on. 

oh my god. scully is gonna keep fighting…. <3

i really, really loved this episode. in fact, i’m positive that it will dethrone the blessing way and take that episode’s place in the top 15. this is an IMMENSE compliment. i still laughed a little despite the soul crushing sorrow, which i think is a sign of masterful writing.

i think this episode really really understood mulder and scully as characters. mulder with his need to chase to the ends of the earth to find the Truth, his need to put a smile on her face, his tenderness when it comes down to it, and scully with her bravery, attempting to keep herself strong for others while grappling with the metaphysical implications of dying, rejecting that conclusion after her own soul searching, and despite being busy with wrapping her head around this devastating news, she was still taking the time to bring comfort to penny. the complimentary needs to Protect and to Heal between them. it’s always going to get me.

you know that post i made about either jumping up and down or throwing my laptop in a river over their dynamic? THIS is jump up and down territory, baby.

i have a feeling that what comes next will not be easy, but i hope it brings great truth, and a delicate balance of love and angst. 

i’m curious to know what people think of how scully’s diagnosis is depicted. i’m sure we’re going to get more into it so i don’t want to jump the gun yet, but i’d be interested to know if her depiction gave a sense of visibility to people dealing with cancer, or if they think the episode/arc as a whole missed the mark. is it empowering to see someone make the conscious effort to keep fighting? is it offensive to think of cancer as something given to you by secret government plot? or was it such a relief to see someone going through the same thing as you no matter if it’s origins were more exotic than in life? where will they go from here in terms of how she handles it? 

i’d be really interested to read how people with cancer view her story. i’m sure someone out there has written on it; i’ll have to take a look someday when i’m not dodging spoilers.

the other thing i'm wondering about is the reaction to the alien breeding program reveal. it definitely speaks to the concerns over bodily autonomy and reproductive injustice that are increasingly relevant issues. i don't think it is supposed to make me feel comfortable, but it definitely succeeded at making me feel uncomfortable, if you catch my drift. something about those women being violated and losing all agency over themselves as a plot point rubs me the wrong way. and i think it is supposed to, but i'm not sure to what extent. idk, you just wouldn't see that happening to mulder's character, you know? it wouldn't be his bodily autonomy violated. it's as if we're so used to it happening to women in real life that it can easily become a plot point in science fiction, as if that just comes with the gendered baggage of being alive when you have ovaries-sometimes the aliens will harvest them. how does that speak on the way these writers see women as a whole? i'm unsure. but we have time to think it over.

my heart is a bit battered and bruised to see scully suffering so, but it is healing in knowing that they will have each other, and a renewed commitment to keep chasing the truth. and i am gonna go like idk claw at a pillow now to cope.

and then they all lived happily ever after. amen.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 46

chapter 70:

1. “And now the furniture is covered in dust, the books haven't been touched, the flowers are dead, the food has spoiled, and all the little pieces of himself from before feel foreign to him, like they're from a complete stranger.”

why did i blindly hope that crimson rivers couldn’t get more sad??

2. “Regulus couldn't have imagined it, then. Barty dying. Being dead. He was safe, aged out from reapings, and he would have made it if the war hadn't taken him.”

i want to gnaw on something. this is driving me crazy. i need to go eat dirt oh my god

3. every time i briefly forget about evan in this fic, his name is name dropped like a fucking bomb from the sky and i literally want to break a window

4. “And then there's Sirius, who barely knows what to do with his own pain, struggling to balance it, like he's not allowed to have it, feeling like an imposter for simply daring to grieve a man who wasn't his father as a father, as if that man didn't love him as a son.” the monty and sirius bond are still making me cry, actually

5. “I know I will be dead long before you read this,”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

once again, had to voice memo my freind

6. welcome back to another round of lily vs the fridge

7. mary: you love dorcas

lily: NOOO!!! only you babes 😘

mary: fucking dumbass

8. idk how to explain it, but i’m glad that mary and lily (and dorcas and marlene) had such complex relationships. they weren’t just the badass lesbians who had it all together and had a perfect relationship that scoffed at the silly boys. they love just as hard and fumble just as hard. their relationships are far from perfect and are very messy. i love it

9. “His dad watched these flowers bloom.

His dad never saw them die.”

*eye twitch*

10. maybe i shouldn’t blame dorcas, but i’m kinda pissed at her for not showing up to marlene’s funeral

11. “Barty got a funeral, too. Regulus planned that one, and you could tell, because it was done so delicately.”

screaming crying throwing up

what if i never spoke again? as like some sort of stupid protest? as like a statement to show how upset i am over bartys death? huh?? what would you do then bizzarestars????? huh?????????

12. “Vanity got honored as a war hero in the Hallow, a statue raised in her honor on the castle grounds, replacing Riddle's legacy.” i’m actually losing my mind. i want to shovel grass in my mouth and chew stained glass. idk or drink a latte or something

13. bro i’m so mad that sirius was 100% right about how james wouldn’t grieve around him, always wanting to take care of sirius, which is why he has to leave. i’m so mad. i’m so mad. this is gonna hurt

14. “”Fucking hell, James, we're still in love, so calm down. It's—it's not an actual breakup, you know."” -sirius

😭😭😭 they’re such soulmates omg

15. oh god it hurt more than i thought. james thought sirius was about to break the news about remus leaving. not sirius leaving. james never once considered that sirius would leave

16. SNSKDNJSNSMSKSM THEYRE KISSING YAY OMG JEGULUS KISSS OMGGG AFTER LITERALLY TWO MONTHS THEYRE KISSING AGAIN

chapter 71:

1. “[Regulus] is such a sweet boy, and yes, yes, [Effie] has seen him murder, but that matters very little to her, overall” me talking about my favorite characters 🥰

2. wolfstar

currently wanting to gnaw through concrete and plywood over them

3. “Remus also calls Lily every day. They're more discreet about it, not practically confessing their love and trying to make out through the screen the way James and Sirius do”

remus: this is my boyfreind sirius, and that’s my boyfreind’s boyfreind, james ♥️

4. remus thinking of sirius as a helicopter parent towards regulus has me in fucking tears omg that’s so funny

5. “That's the first time they have sex after the war, when Remus tells Sirius how he made Riddle pay for all that he'd done.”

idk, but that’s not the sentence i was expecting

6. 😭😭😭 remus realizing that lyall never liked any of his ex boyfreinds, and the fact that he approves of sirius, the murderer, is laughable

7. jealous sirius kissing remus within an inch of his life 😭😭😭

8. “It's no secret that Sirius likes the hickies, but it's not just him; the truth is, the only thing Remus likes more than getting to put them there is getting to see them there.”

uhhh um uhhhhh hot

9. 👀 they getting nasty

10. james being a teacher >>>>>>>>>>>

11. what are sirius and regulus gonna get up to?

12. it’s heartbreaking that lily and mary have to raise bingley. on one hand, it’s domestic and it’s their little family. on the other hand, they never should have had to do this. lily cooks and tucks him into bed and raises him. but she’s not his mom. and mary raises bingley. but she’s not his mom. and it’s so scary to navigate this

13. THE BAGELS

14. james’ knife kink >>>>>>>>>

15. omg i’m a blubbering mess. they have a home together!!!

16. hello!???? they’re dancing together????? in their home?????? what if i burst into tears?????

17. AWWWWW JAMES PROPOSED AGAIN

18. please please please please tell me we get a marriage chapter

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 3

Allow me to be shallow for a moment but I am enjoying how often he is wet in this drama

It's funny because I was literally just thinking about this. Clearly Im Sol can affect what happens in the future or why would she have been sent to the past in the first place. But maybe some things can't be changed. Maybe Sunjae was always destined to become an idol and that can't be changed. Very interesting.

Sunjae's like 'yep, definitely never saw you before you approached me at the pool that time. Definitely have not been pining over you for months'

Look at him blowing kisses at her door like a total loser. I love him. Have I mentioned that I am a sucker for men who are complete idiots for the women they love? That's a big part of the appeal of Bridgerton for me as well

LMAO busted!

I'm guessing that's not going to happen because, you know, career ending injury. But she is absolutely going to lose her mind when he eventually does confess.

I love this change in dynamic so much Him: we'll go to a nice restaurant and I'll confess my feelings Her: we'll go to a very basic cafe that serves healthy food because he's an athlete and needs to take care of his body They are both so cute!

I love her so much! And this is before she finds out he has feelings for her. She's just happy to be on a platonic lunch date with her idol.

He is such a dork I love him so much! Did a legit fist pump when he found out she doesn't like bad boy guitarist

Him: I don't want to do cute poses Also him: I'm dying look at her face

Can't tell my bias that I really need to pee. Wait do they not have toilets on coaches in Korea?

Oh, yeah, I legit forgot about him. Oops.

Aww I hope Im Sol arrives soon to give him a hug. OOH is she going to end up being the reason he becomes a singer? She can't tell him about the future but she can suggest he try something else, right? And bad boy (I really need to try and remember his name) is in a band so maybe he can help.

God, this poor boy. Just found out he can never compete again and his whole family has shown up to plan his trip to the Olympics

Oh! Somehow I missed the fact that this guy was in the idol group with Sunjae in the future

Okay, seriously, how do you not notice the kitchen is on fire when you are standing/sitting right there. Surely they'd feel the heat if nothing else

Aww there we go she put out the fire before her mother got burned so some things can be changed!

Aww that's the first time he's smiled since he got the news about his shoulder

She made him laugh. I'm definitely not crying.

Aww he finally said it! But she's so drunk there's no way she'll remember

Ooh that happened way sooner than I expected

I'm kind of surprised she even remembers them listening to music together tbh

OMG it recorded them when she stepped on it! Did not see that coming! IS SHE GOING TO HEAR THE CONFESSION?

NOOOOOOOOO! She took out the headphones right before he confessed WHY

WHAT THE FUCK SHE'S BACK IN 2022??????

AND NOW TEENAGE!HER HAS AGREED TO DATE BAD BOY RIGHT IN FRONT OF SUNJAE'S SALAD! I NEED A PAPER BAG TO BREATHE INTO

[nownahc]

DRABBLES PROMPTS | REQUESTS ARE OPEN

In order to improve my writting and creativity, I thought of trying out a drabble writing prompts (sort of) challenge. Send in a number (one or more) and the name of the character/person you want a drabble of in my asks! If you want specific details, such as a peculiar au you want me to write, state it in the ask as well exemple. number 1 with seungcheol mafia au fandoms i write for. SEVENTEEN & STRAY KIDS

main masterlist

PROMPTS SOURCE

1. “Do you want me to leave?”

2. “I swear it won’t happen again.”

3. “I’m not jealous.”

4. “You can’t keep doing this.”

5. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

6. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

7. “You did what?!”

8. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

9. “Don’t ask me that.”

10. “I might have had a few shots.”

11. “What’s with the box?”

12. “Say it!”

13. “I could kiss you right now!”

14. “Are you done with that?”

15. “Are you still awake…?”

16. “Excuse you?”

17. “This is all your fault!”

18. “I shouldn’t be in love with you.”

19. “I could kill you right now!”

20. “Just admit I’m right.”

21. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

22. “That’s irrational.”

23. “Just pretend to be my date.”

24. “Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

25. “When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”

26. “I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.”

27. “I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

28. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

29. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

30. “Can I sit here? The other tables are full.”

31. “You weren’t supposed to laugh!”

32. “This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

33. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

34. “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

35. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”

36. “Did I say that out loud?”

37. “Do you think they could have loved me?”

38. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

39. “How long have you been standing there?”

40. “Have I ever lied to you?”

41. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

42. “His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.”

43. “I am not losing you again!”

44. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

45. “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

46. “I just need to be alone right now.”

47. “When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.”

48. “I made a mistake.”

49. “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.”

50. “I need you to forgive me.”

51. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”

52. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.”

53. “I’m flirting with you.”

54. “I’m not good enough for you.”

55. “I fell in love with my best friend.”

56. “I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

57. “I’m up to the challenge.”

58. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you.”

59. “I’m yours.”

60. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

61. “If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!”

62. “It’s okay to cry…”

63. “What do you mean? It’s exciting!”

64. “Talk to me.”

65. “Look at me—just breathe, okay?”

66. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”

67. “Oh my god! You’re in love with them!”

68. “Well, this is where I live.”

69. “We finish it the same way we started—together.”

70. “What are you afraid of?”

71. “You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me.”

72. “You deserve so much better.”

73. “You don’t have to stay.”

74. “You don’t know you the way I do.”

75. “You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

76. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

77. “You shouldn’t have even been there!”

78. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

79. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

80. “Teach me?”

81. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?”

82. “Looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.”

83. “Just once.”

84. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

85. “It’s not what it looks like.”

86. “I got you a present.”

87. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”

88. “See, now, what that so bad?”.”

89. “You’re the best part of me.”

90. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”

91. “Can I hold your hand?”

92. “Let’s move in together.”

93. “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

94. “What time is it?”

95. “Just wait a second.”

96. “Here, let me.”

97. “You’re so cute when you pout like that.”

98. “Hold me back!’

99. “I don’t care what they said, it doesn’t mean shit!”

100. “I adore you.”

main masterlist

[collierose1]

oh lord do i have so many songs that make me think of ethubs

Envy by Sparkbird

"I don't need to be rich Only so wealthy as to pay for my food I don't need to be huge Only so big as to ever be noticed"

"I must confess An embarrassing truth Almost nothing can hurt me Like thinking of you

You've got a beautiful home Bestselling novel and effortless style You enchant the people around you They swoon when you show even the hint of a smile"

I Love You I'm Sorry by Mel Bryan & the Mercy Makers

"You said remember when we were so happy said I thought that we still were I guess shouldn't think so much You said how can I change what's already made up its mind? And I said god damn it I'm so out of touch

But when I get high I'm as high as the moon you're crying after your happy ever after I apologize and I don't know why I say I love you I'm sorry I love you so much I'm sorry about it

And I can't twist your arms around your back and tell you to take me as I am, as I am And I can't twist myself around the truth and tell you I'm not shaking cause I am, yes I Am"

ILYIS 2 by Mel Bryan & the Mercy Makers

"I love you you're so selfless I'm sorry I'm so selfish

I love that you're so gentle And I'm sorry I'm so hellish

I love it when you hold me Cause I'm sorry I'm in pieces

But you put me back together And you make me feel what peace is

Patience and kindness and softness of the touch And I scream and I'm nasty and I'm brutal and I'm rough

But maybe I'm so sorry Cause I can't accept the truth That I'm not sorry for me I'm sorry for you"

thats the entire song sorryyy

your money or your life (the comet) by The Paper Chase

ok you just ahve to hear me out on this one ok

"Summon the chess pieces up Growing ill of being picked up By the loon, assuming it suits you Like your false teeth they're going with you And all the millions of fat, hateful children We are tubes with holes at the ending I don't need you to love my soul I need you to love my body, you know

No one's gonna save you No one's gonna save you No one's gonna save you Your money or your life Your money or your life"

ok so imagine the no ones gonna save you but its Bdubs in last life like hunting lizzie down, no ones gonna save her, then after she's dead it's grain and joel shooting out after rhim, Etho's gonna save him!! Bdubs DIES screaming out for Etho dotdotdot like he thinks etho will save him will give him a life and it'll all be good!! but he doesn't and bdusb fucking dies am I crazy.....am I crazy...... and also the whole "he doesn't love you" talk like bdubs etho wont save you!!!!! can you hear me!!!!!

and also Mad Dog by The Crane Wives

ok goodbye im ill over ethubs

OHHHH MY GOD I LOVE THESE ALL THANK YOU glad to know we are both unwell <3

in return i give you:

hot tea - half alive

"hold you in my hands like hot tea

Knowing l'm safe 'cause you want me

sitting in a garden at your feet

You, me, only

Holding on and on"

like i feel like the whole song is screaming last life ethubs, especially centered around the fact that the snow fort was COLD and this is HOT tea. also one line is "cant afford to lose you any longer" which is so etho being upset that bdubs keeps dying

[wowifinallywatched]

Listen...this is not my official more coherent thoughts around the Jigsaw installment of the fucking incredible Saw franchise that i normally like to post first but if you've ever wondered what it's like to watch a movie with me and my internal monologue well LOOK NO FURTHER

Coherent thoughts will be coming soon, but for now enjoy a raw reaction to whatever the FUCK THIS WAS I JUST FINISHED WATCHING AND I AKSBFKABF I JUST NEED TO SHARE THIS FEELING WITH SOMEONE HOLY FUCK-

JIGSAW

Listen if you're gonna be bringing this iconic and amazing as fuck series back it better be Fucking at the same level

Ah yes your standard creepy detective who makes sexist jokes like they get paid for it and no one does anything about it because “it's just who they are” and it's one of the bad qualities you have to adopt in about this person uh yeah no FUCK THA-

Okay I'm sorry I'm fucking sorry 39:33??!?!?!?!?!? FUCKING GOLD BEAUTIFUL STUNNING THAT WAS EVERYTHING IVE WANTED LISTEN I KNOW TRUST THE PROCESS OF THESE MOVIES DONT JUDGE TOO SOON BUT FUCK ME THAT WAS GOOD AND I WAS STILL TEETERING  Listen I miss John okay-

WHAT THE FUCK IS GONNA HAPPEN IS HE GONNA COME BACK FROM THE DEAD OR IS THIS REALLY SMART AJBRIAHE Fucking skin suit or secret child ass akdbia

Eleanor DYING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT Like i can judge this would totally be me as well BEAUTIFUL??? OKAY BITCH NOW I THINK YOU'RE CRAZY

OH MY GOD SHOW ME WHO THE FUCK POISENED YOUR SIPPY CUP BAG MOTHERFUCKER I AM LOSING MY SHIT NOT KNOWING IF JOHN REALLY IS ALIVE OR NOT FUChis

“He was my nephew” Oh my god he was his nephew I'm sorry I had to-

BRKJZISHWJBEJAHSIWBWIHSIS MOTHERFUCKING SAW MY FUCKING GOD YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN WJDBQJ PUTTING HIM IN JOHNS CASKET HAHAHHA HOW THE FUCK DID THEY DO THAT QUIETLY OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE MOVIES SO MUCH THEY'RE ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD AND JUST AJDBSIHDJW OBSESSED  I CANNOT OH MY GOD I LOVE IT ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES IN MY BRAIN IT WAS EITHER GONNA BE TWO OPTIONS, JOHN WAS GONNA BE THERE OR HE WASN'T  BUT JUST IN SAW STYLE, A SURPRISE THIRD OPTION HAS APPEARED HAHAHAH Its like when you watch these movies, you're thinking so hard about one part of it (where the fuck is John) that you become completely oblivious to other options (surprise Mr. Coma has appeared) ALSO I WORK IN THE FUNERAL INDUSTRY AND THERE IS STRICT LAW THAT YOU CANNOT OPEN UP A COFFIN INSIDE THE CEMETERY SO H A

I'm trying to bring logic into these movies when I just watched a man get turned into a human milkshake

But this also means that someone could have taken John's body and has been using his DNA  But would the tests come back saying the DNA is dead or alive? Like someone purposely put his DNA under the guys nails to throw them off who's really playing these games I wonder if it's the OG Dr. saw bathroom who's running the show If John really is alive that would be fucking perfect This psycho mortuary girl better not have dug up John himself to fulfill her obsession I SWEAR- OH MY GOD SHE HAS THE OG SAW STOPPPP HAHAHAHAH Wait wait NO NO NO THIS IS A SET UP I SWEAR OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVE

everyone's like “oh copy cats copy cats” but it's actually the fucking detectives that study these cases of jigsaw everyone calm your tips MY TITS ARE NOT CALM WHERE IS THE DAUGHTER NO IM NOT FUCKING AROUND WHERE IS HIS DAUGHTER I SWEAR 

Oh my god I hear remnants of the saw music as they drive off from the house 🥺 LITTLE PIGGY IS STILL IN PLAY LES GOOOO Everytime I see VAIDUWOFJKSHEIEHDIJWKDNWKJFKSBEKNWKDJEKDBOSBRKANJDHSID JOHN JOHN SOBDJSBDIAHDIHA I JUST CHOKED ON MY CEREAL OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN MY JIGGY SAWWY MAN IM GONNA CRY HOLY FUCK IVE MISSED YOU NSKFBSJS HOW THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE IN A FUCKING MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK NO I DO NOT TRUST WHAT I SEE ARE YOU A TWIN BROTHER OR SOME SHIT I AM LOSING MY MIND WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DID THEY REPLACE YOUR BODY BUT THE TEST SUBJECTS WOULD HAVE COME BACK IS THIS A HALLUCINATION HOLY SHIT  I AM ABOUT TO BREAK THIS FUCKING TABLE HOLY FUCKING SHIT My boy you look like you've aged so much Oh my god that misdiagnosis hit way too close to home alright I am John number one protector BUT HOW THE FUCK IS HE ALIVE BECAUSE THE TUMOUR AND THE SKABKFJA John baby listen i love you so much and I love the game you've got going on and you give the best monologue but HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ALIVE

Listen surely those jigsaw pieces are a set up because surely not even the most dumbass of cops would keep that in their fucking FREEZER HAHAHAH

I am absolutely fucked I trust none of you bitches except daddy mortuary 

AWWWWWWWWW MEANING BEHIND THE PIG HEAD MENTIONED SO CASUALLY THAT IS SO CUTE JOHN

John is so fucking extra he has all these props and then uses a single shotgun

This is more trying to pick who Johns new apprentice is and i don't like any of them

GIRL WHY WOULD YOU WEAR BOOT HEELS TO THIS SCAVENGER HUNT

Listen John sliding the door to people's eternal doom just hits different okay

BACKWARDS OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN YOU ARE SO SMART It’s literally been the EXACT SAME ALL THESE YEARS PLAY BY THE RULES HE NEVER SAID YOU HAD TO SHOOT EACH OTHER FOR YOUR FREEDOM THAT WAS NOT A RULE HE SET IN PLACE HAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS AND I WAS CLAIMING HE WAS USING A SIMPLE ASS SHOTGUN OF COURSE IT WASN'T JUST A SHOTGUN I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS

DADDY MORTUARY WAS THE DOCTOR THAT FUCKED UP HIS TEST RESULTS OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU ABSOLUTE LAZY DICKWAD OF A MAN YOU ARE DOOMED HAHAH

Wait what the fuck this is sus whats happening ABDKJSJEBWJDHIWVDJHS I THOUGHT HIS BODY WAS JUST ROLLING AT FIRST WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING NO NO WAY DADDY MORTUARY IS JOHNS NEW APPRENTICE DETECTIVE YOU AND ME ARE THE SAME WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM HIM NO YOU WERE THE ONE I TRUSTED NO FUCKING WAY THE ONLY ONE I TRUSTED TURNED OUT TO BE THE MAN BEHIND IT ALL HAHAHAHAH FUCK WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN FUYCJA FUCKABAFSIABKFJBKAF HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS HOLY FUCK LISTEN I STARTED TO DOUBT THIS ONE THEN I TOLD MYSELF DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE IT’S WHAT HAPPENS EVERY TIME I ALWAYS THINK THEY’RE NOT AS GOOD AS THE PREVIOUS ONE BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T REACHED THAT CLIMATIC PLOT TWIST THAT PULLS ALL THE PIECES TOGETHER  AND THEN YOU REACH IT AND YOU THINK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE FUCKING PAST AND PRESENT PLAY THAT THIS SERIES IS SO GOOD AT

OH MY GOD I GOT SO EXCITED THINKING MY BABY JIGGY SAWWY MAN WAS ALIVE BUT NOPE IT WAS JUST THE PAST GAMES SOBS AND IT’S SO FUNNY BECAUSE NOW IF YOU REWATCHED THIS MOVIE YOU’D SEE ALL THE SIGNS POINTING TO THE TRUTH You just have to follow the rules You just have to follow the signs pointed in the direction of the movie plot OH FUCK ME MOVIE GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH YOUR CLEVER WAYS Think about it if you really listened to this movie, it’s literally telling you exactly what’s going to take place Oh fuck me HAHAHAHAH I NEED TO REWATCH ALL THESE MOVIES NOW WITH THAT MINDSET THIS HAS MIND FUCKED ME I CAN’T BELIEVE IT THE FACT WE WERE WATCHING THE OG GAME WITH THE DADDY MORTUARY BUT SIKE IT WAS TEN YEARS AGO

Not gonna lie Daddy Mortuary was kind of hot Jesus I need to learn his real name I'm sure someone said it I was just blinded by his good looks-

I AM LOSING MY MARBLES I LITERALLY CONTINUE DO ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW HAHAHA LIKE HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT MOMENT WHEN HE STARTED GETTING UP LOST IT GAVE ME FEELINGS BACK TO THE FIRST SAW MOVIE WHERE JOHN SLOWLY GOT UP AND REVEALED HIMSELF  Oh my god Daddy Mortuary was the son John never got to have *GROSS SOBBING IN THE CORNER*

AND SLIDING THE DOOR SHUT JUST LIKE JOHN LIKE JIGGY SAWY FATHER LIKE JIGGY SAWY SON SO THIS GAME HAPPENED FUCKING YONKS AND WOULD HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED BEFORE AMANDA AND BEFORE WHATEVER THE FUCK DETECTIVE FACE WAS I ALREADY DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME I just can't I can't believe they still gave us John Kramer content while he's still fucking dead that was so fucking clever You can't have a saw movie without the original Jigsaw in it and they fucking keep it alive in a smart way, not forced, but smart WAIT DADDY MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY I GET IT THE GAMES HAPPENED TEN YEARS AGO AND SUCH BUT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY  DID HE MOVE A WHOLE ASS CASKET AND REPLACE HIS CASKET WITH ANOTHER actually he works in a mortuary he would have the skills to do that HAHAHAHAH FUCKKKKKKK Listen this movie literally gave us John content, fucking ecstatic about it, then showed it was past John and that he's not really here right now

BUT THEY LEFT THE FUCKING DOOR WIDE OPEN FOR JOHN TO STILL BE ALIVE BY HIM NOT BEING IN THAT CASKET AND I KNOW ITS PROBABLY MORE A “They just put the body elsewhere/ replaced his casket” BUT LISTEN LET ME HAVE THIS SMALL OUNCE OF HOPE OKAY

ALSO DID I FUCKING CALL IT OR DID I FUCKING CALL IT ABOUT PUTTING JOHNS DNA UNDER HIS NAILS ON PURPOSE FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT BITCH AND IM REALLY PROUD BECAUSE I CAN NEVER DO THAT WITH THESE MOVIES FUCK YES GO TEAM 1 FOR US  16 MILLION FOR THE MOVIE OKAY LET ME HAVE THIS ONE- Not me going on about how old John looks and it's literally exactly how he looks in all the other movies HAHAHAHAHAH

OH MY GOD IN THAT SCENE WITH JOHNS NEIGHBOUR AND LEG-O-LOSS I THOUGHT NEIGHBOUR WAS IN SHOCK (of course we find out because she was his neighbor) BECAUSE JOHN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD BUT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE NEIGHBOURS  NO ONE EVER BATTED AN EYE OR SAID BUT JIGSAW IS DEAD BUT JOHN KRAMER IS DEAD OH MY GODDDDD ANOTHER FUCKING SIGN TO JUST PAY ATTENTION TO THAT'S BEING SAID AND IT WAS REVEAL THE WHOLE MOVIE TO YOU

Just oh my God okay I need to lay this out Daddy Mortuary- Okay no let me find his real name Also poor fucking Eleanor she really was just a Saw fanatic and now she's wrapped up in something she doesn't even realise IF ONLY SHE KNEW BECAUSE SHE WOULD BE LOVING HER OWN STORY RIGHT NOW LOGAN HIS NAME IS LOGAN Alright so  Logan fucked up John's test results by mislabelling (the poor other fucking dude that got those results) which i feel like was a bit of an add on instead of reveal WAIT BUT IF THIS GAME HAPPENED BEFORE THE OTHER GAMES IN THE OTHER MOVIES Oh my fuck then he would have no reason to mention it in any of his past monologues because he already faced the man that did it and seeked his ‘revenge’ OH MY GOD OKAY REDEEMED THAT WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT BUT HE'S BEEN REDEEMED CARRY ON So John sets up one of his classic games, with the machine that was “never used” or they never found the bodies for OH MY GOD LOGAN GAVE HER THE ANSWER. LITERALLY JUST TOLD HER. BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW. HE WAS APART OF THAT GAME. HE WOULD HAVE RECOGNISED THE MACHINE STRAIGHT AWAY. HE LITERALLY TOLD HER BUT OF COURSE YOU WOULD NEVER SUSPECT IT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ACCUSATION HAHAHAH SHITTTTT I keep trying to write this out calmly and then get really Hyped up forgive me- The game begins with everyone having their sins AND YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS SO WEIRD THE GAME STARTED WITH SOMEONE STILL UNCONSCIOUS, IT FELT VERY UNLIKE JOHN BECAUSE HE'S ALL ABOUT HAVING A FAIR CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF and when we finally got to see the result of that scene where John is racing out to save him because it was an unfair start and he wanted to personally give him a second chance IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING- I wonder how far apart these events were to the previous movie

ANYWAY

My brain isn’t working i literally can't stop thinking about John being a protective father to him John takes him under his wing seeing his pain, seeing his grief and to teach him its not about anger AND LOGAN TEACHING JOHN SOME THINGS TOO SOBS listen, John is the most forgiving person IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE 8 MOVIES TO SAY OTHERWISE BUT LET ME EXPLAIN- HE GIVES THEM A CHANCE TO CONFESS AND THEN BE FREE HE'S ONLY PUNISHING THEM BECAUSE THEY WON'T CONFESS THEMSELVES NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAD Oh my god i really am protecting a serial killer  BUT HEY IT'S FICTIONAL And it is fucking wild to me that no one ever found these bodies (JUST LIKE MY BOY ADAM SOBS) and so Logan planned and waited until the perfect moment to fuck with the world Except there's one thing different from John to the other people that have tried to take his place John gives them a fair game, just play by the rules Amanda, Detective Douche, Logan - They all seemed revenge. They gave them a game, but it wasn't always fair, it wasn't always a game that could be won. Oh wait but Detective banana peel ass didn't exactly confess to freeing Logans wife's murderer so he didn't play the game right OKAY THAT WOULD BE VALID THEN It's just crazy to me that a game happened in real time and we technically got to see exactly what it would have looked like but we never saw the actual game

AND OF COURSE LOGAN CHOSE A GUY THAT DOOMED HIS WIFE'S DEATH AS THE GUY TO GET NO CHANCE FOR REDEMPTION TO REPLICATE HIS OWN EXPERIENCE HAHAHAH LOVE THAT

This was so fucking clever and i never want to stop talking about these movies oh my god

BUT OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVES FUCKING HEAD GETTING SPLICED LIKE A FUCKING BANANA PEEL I CANT- THAT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL HORRIFYING AND DISGUSTING BUT SO FLUID AND BEAUTIFUL  I cannot wait to watch the new movie and see the graphics All things considered theyve really done these movies justice all through the years Like I'm so fucking happy with the ending of this movie And I fucking adore that we got to see John again But I'm not gonna lie my heart is a little broken he's not actually alive and well- I KNOW WE LITERALLY SAW HIM GET AUTOPSIED wait Was Logan the one to do his autopsy  I remember he mentioned something about John being full autopsied but I don't remember if he meant he did it himself WAIT ITS ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME MORTUARY HAND TO DO THE SAW AUTOPSIES HASN'T IT OH MY FUCKING GOD SO HE KNEW THE PLAN ALL ALONG HE FUCKING KNEW OH MY GOD I AM EMOTIONAL-

Now I need to go back and watch the other movies again, for many reasons, but to see if it was Logan all along

I JUST READ MY NOTES WHILE WATCHING PREVIOUS SAW MOVIES AND I MADE A COMMENT ABOUT HOW SUS IT IS THAT THERE’S BEEN ONE CONSISTENT MORTUARY HAND LOOKING AFTER THE SAW VICTIMS HAHAHAH CALLED IT (possibly)

God I don’t drink but right now I feel like I need a drink

ONTO THE NEXT ONE WHERE YOU REALLY CAN’T PREDICT WHAT WE’LL EVER GET AKSBFKBF

[quicksilverdrabbles]

To embrace your blood, and give you your voice (2)

Morana: *panting, watching as the dragon finally falls while bits of its flesh begin burning and flaking into the air* What..?

Mirmulnir: Dovahkiin?!

Kaidan: Dovahkiin??

*the dragon falls dead, its eyes focused on Morana as its soul is ripped from its body in multicolored streaks and absorbed by the plague doctor. Streams of yellow light bind themselves around her neck before disappearing*

Morana: ...???

Whiterun Guard: Dragonborn..

Lucien: E-hexcuse me, what?

Whiterun Guard: Ancient dragonslayers.. They could kill a dragon by stealing their very souls.. That's what you just did, right?

Morana: I don't know. It's certainly never happened to me before.

Kaidan: Take a moment to calm yourself, your handwriting's shaking.

Whiterun Guard (2): Eh? Are you sure she of all people is the Dragonborn? Dragonborns are supposed to be able to Shout.

Whiterun Guard: Oh, you're right.. That would be a problem, wouldn't it. A Dragonborn that can absorb souls but not Shout. It's.. kind of funny, in an ironic way.

Inigo: I would recommend you do not speak about this situation being humorous unless you want to lose your tongue.

Whiterun Guard: Huh? And what are you gonna do about it, huh cat? You would really threaten the guard?

Inigo: I will make good on my threats to you and every other person in Skyrim if you continue to insult my friend like that.

Morana: Blu.. Please stop..

Ingio: ... Grr.. You are lucky this time.

Whiterun Guard (2): Can you really blame us, though? She can absorb souls, but without The Voice, is she really Dragonborn?

Kaidan: You shut your fucking mouth right now.

Morana: *tries to write in her journal. Her hands shake, and she drops her pencil. Kaidan won't understand if she signs* ... P-Please stop..

Whiterun Guard: If you people are so eager to defend her, then let her prove she's Dragonborn. Shout for us.

Taliesin: *glaring, dagger drawn* She doesn't have to do anything for you lowlives.

Morana: F-Fus.. *Her breath comes out like a gust of wind, noticeable, but quiet and ultimately powerless*

Whiterun Guard: Ha! Was that your attempt at a Shout?

Xelzaz: Morana-

Morana: F-F-Fus- *coughs, reaching a hand to her throat*

Lucien: Morana! *runs to catch her as she kneels to the ground* Don't force it, please. You don't have to prove anything to these people!

Morana: *trembling* I-I know the word. I can hear it in my mind.. I just- I can't-

Lucien: You're only going to hurt yourself, though!

Morana: Why the hell are people only ever concerned about me getting hurt?? Why am I unable to do things without having to worry about how much it would affect me? Why can't I do this?!

Lucien: Because we care about you-

Morana: You shouldn't! With the way things are going, I'll be dead before the year ends anyways!

Inigo: ... What?

Morana: You shouldn't put a dying woman's wellbeing over your own! You shouldn't have to make accomodations for my weakness! I- *sobs* I don't want that! I don't need it!

Dovahkiin..

Morana: *stands up, pulling away from Lucien* Just once, I want to be able to put my pains aside and do things without suffering! Just once, I don't want to be a liability!

I will lend you my voice, Thuri..

Morana: Just once, I want to be able to aid you all instead of forcing you to worry about someone who should have died years ago! Just this once- even if it's only once- I.. I don't want to be weak anymore!

Whiterun Guard (2): Hey, is she actually saying something right now?

Whiterun Guard: I dunno. Can't hear her, haha.

Morana: SHUT UP!

Whiterun Guard: ?! Shit, she actually spoke-

Lucien: She's been speaking this whole time, you idiots!

Kaidan: Morana..?

Morana: SHUT UP!! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP- FUS! *the shout leaves her throat in a much deeper pitch, hoarse and growling, almost like an actual dragon's cry. It knocks the two guards off of their feet.*

Whiterun Guard (2): Gods above- let's get out of here!

Morana: *falls to her knees, coughing and spitting up blood*

Kaidan: Morana! *crouches down, trying to wipe at the blood soaking her mask*

Taliesin: *kneeling next to her* Gods- Hey, come on, let me see.

Morana: *shakes her head*

Taliesin: Don't be stubborn, they're already gone. I need to see how badly you're bleeding.

Morana: *shakes her head again. She tries to speak, but only wordless rasping comes from her throat*

Xelzaz: How much damage did that Shout do??

Mirmulnir: *a spectre of the dragon rises from its bones* It was not The Voice that injured her.

Kaidan: Oh for fuck's sake, not you again. We killed you.

Mirmulnir: And so I have recognized the power within the Dovahkiin. A dovah without a voice is, mm.. Aan dilon dovah. A dead one. And so, to counter her.. nahlot Thu'um, her voice which has been silenced. She absorbed my voice, as well as dii sil, my soul.

Lucien: How is that even possible?

Mirmulnir: Mm.. Many things about this one are.. folaas. Things that should not be. It is only right that they are.. righted.

Inigo: So.. You are a good dragon now?

Mirmulnir: My voice will remain in the Dovahkiin's possession. However, this form is quickly.. fading. It is possible this will be the last I will ever speak, of my own accord.

Xelzaz: Oh. Well, thank you? For giving her your Voice.

Mirmulnir: It was not my choice.

Xelzaz: ... Right.

Kaidan: Er, hello? Can we maybe focus on the fact that Morana's spouting blood from her throat?

Taliesin: *removed Morana's mask, wiping at the blood properly with a cloth* We need to get you to Danica. We'll have her meet us outside the Temple, don't worry.

Kaidan: Up we get. *lifts Morana with ease, ignoring her silent struggling* Need to cover her face for her before we go back to town. That mask won't do until it's clean.

Taliesin: Use this. It's a veil we got for her a while ago.

Kaidan: I don't even want to ask where you got that thing. Fine.

Xelzaz: Here, let me at least give her a potion to try and stop her bleeding-

Inigo and Lucien: *trailing behind the group*

Lucien: ... Do you think we should tell them?

Inigo: ... Perhaps not. I do not think anybody else heard what we did, not clearly.

Lucien: They have a right to know, I think. If what she said is true..

Inigo: If she told us, she will probably tell them sometime after. Still..

Lucien: Do you think there's anything we could do?

Inigo: ... I do not know.

~

Inside the Bannered Mare

Danica: *sitting next to Morana on a bed in the private room* Gods, you've really done it this time, Morana. What on earth did you do to injure your vocal chords like this??

Morana: ... I got angry. And yelled. Tried to.

Danica: *sighs* Well, you won't be able to speak at all for the next few weeks. Not even whisper.

Morana: Damn. Thank you for your help, anyway.

Danica: Don't mention it. Although I would like if you would come for a check-up every now and then. It seems like your health declines more and more every time I see you.

Morana: ... It's nothing to worry about. I would rather you don't waste your time. You still have so many patients.

Danica: Right. Well, I'll go let your friends know you've been healed the best you can be. They'll be in in a moment.

Morana: Thank you.

Danica: *stands and leaves, clicking the door shut behind her*

...

Morana: *raises a hand to her face, catching a tear that fell* (No matter how I tried... I was still weak.)

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP34 SPOILERS!

here are my thoughts on the new episode!!! this time im actually writing them out in real time. ive been so so excited for this one

- no normal fact damn. thats okay though will i support

- oh god are they doing this w their comedy personas.

- IM SO NERVOUS FOR THIS STRANGER I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW SHES FEELING ABOUT THIS LMAO

- i love how tori didnt even get an introduction to scam it was just like oh yeah theres a guy here named scam likely

- LINK JUST SHOWING GARFIELD ON HIS PHONE lincoln li wilson bless ur soul

- somehow the audio quality of link being on a microphone extra loud makes this so funny

- istg the moment hermie has a line im gonna scream and jump up and down

- ANTHONYS IN FUCKING JOKER MAKEUP????

- THE COMPLETE SILENCE AFTER THE PLANES JOKE.

- i literally forgot that disney movies have anime remakes now in dndads i was so confused for a sec WAIT TORI DOESNT KNOW THIS OMFG IMAGINE HER CONFUSION

- WAS NOT EXPECTING THE SUDDEN TAYLOR ANGST HE WAS SCARED ABOUT HIS MOM DYING AS A KID??? ARE U JOKING??

- honestly though i think taylor opening up like this through comedy makes sense

- link is so supportive of taylor awwww

- BETH MAY PREPARING MISOGYNISTIC JOKES WHILE EXPECTING TO PERFORM FOR A MAN HELPP

- NORMAL IS LAST OH GOD

- OH GOD HES TRAUMADUMPING TOO

- i think its so funny and ironic how scary is the only one who doesnt drop lore about her family in her set

- OHHHH MY GOD THE CHAPARRAL ROAST. OH YEAH. I LOVE THE DIRECTION WILLS GOING W THIS (NORMAL DOESNT GET MAD HE GETS EVEN)

- HERMIE SAID A SINGLE WORD I REPEAT HE GOT ONE WORD IN FOLKS

- WILL IS SO GOOD AT THIS. GOD

- HERMIEEEE

- THE WAY MY FACE FUCKING FELL WHEN HE STARTED DIRECTLY ROASTING HERMIE. OH NO

- "im sensitive about that :[" MY LITTLE GUYYYYY NO

- NOOOOO NORMAL WHAT ARE U DOING THIS IS SO MEAANN THIS IS TOO FAR

- HERMIE IS CRYING???? OMFG NO

- NORMAL TOLD HERMIE HE LIKES HIM!!!!!

- will campos is carrying this entire episode

- GOTHCLEATS????

- IM LESS THAN HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE AND I AM ALREADY LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND

- hermies up now i am so fucking scared. this episode is NOT going the direction i thought it would omfg (not complaining at all im just in shock)

- *applauds hermie along w tori* (I CANT BELIEVE ANTHONY IS DOING THIS W JOKER MAKEUP)

- HE JUST HAS DC JOKES.

- thanks for the existential crisis/aging/suicide jokes hermie i really needed that on my bday 😅😅 /s

- IS HERMIE OKAY????? THERE WAS SM TO UNPACK THERE. I CANT DO THIS

- "im saying were all thinking about how i would be better off dead" IM KILLING MYSELFFFF

- nobody hmu ever again /j i am never going to stop thinking about the fact that hermie is canonically suicidal

- TORI SCORED LINCOLN HIGHER THAN TAYLOR LMAO

- HERMIE LOST.

- i had to take a big ol break just to process that shit. fuck. this is somehow making me even more insane hermie brained wtf

- HERMIE IS TELLING THEM TO JUST KILL SCAM???

- THE FACT THAT I JUST DID A DRAWING OF SCAM AND HERMIE WHOLESOME FATHER SON BONDING BEFORE THIS EPISODE. GOD

- "u dont like me, u idiot" 😦

- MY FUCKINGGGFG FACE RN. I. I

- NORMAL IS TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE WTF

- IM LITERALLYYY GETTINF OAKWORTHY CONFESSION SCENE. ON MY BDAY.

- HERMIE DIDNT DO IT FOR HIS SCHOOL???

- HE. HE. HE DID ALL OF THIS FOR HIS DAD. HES LITERALLY JUST LIKE ME FR.

- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUUUUCK. OAKWORTHY NATION. WE ARENT REALLY WINNING BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

- THIS IS LIKE WHEN GLENN WAS SAYING THE ONLY THING LEFT FOR HIM IS TO KILL HIS DAD THIS IS SO UPSETTING

- ANTHONY ASKING IF NORMAL ACTUALLY GENUINELY LIKES HERMIE. I CANT DO THIS

- GUYS WE GOT AN ANCHOR BREAKING W LOVE BC OF OAKWORTHY. JUST LIKE WE WANTED

- will campos really holding on strong for us. normal is gonna fix hermie if its the last thing he does ig

- THE BABY AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON WAS STEWIE????

- THERES STILL LIKE ANOTHER HALF HOUR LEFT I FEEL SICK

- NICKYS BACK i wasnt expecting him this episode yippee

- THEYRE IN SPACE. AND HERMIE IS THERE. THIS IS THE PERFECT EPISODE FOR ME

- im being so serious guys when i say i think this may be my fave episode of the whole season so far it is boggling my mind and smashing my heart to pieces and im loving it

- "u can be polygamous in space" there are so many good lines this episode

- I LOVE HOW EXCITED BETH IS ABOUT THE TELEBANGLE

- i also love whenever freddie talks about sciencey mathy stuff that i dont understand

- ARE THEY SERIOUSLY ALL MARRYING EACH OTHER??? IS THIS REALLY WHATS HAPPENING???? HELPP

- SCARY SIGNED AS TERRY. W A HEART. YALL.

- THIS EPISODE IS A FUCKING FEVER DREAM I SWEAR

holy fucking shit. what a rollercoaster. so yeah guys i think that was my fave episode of the season wow. what a bday gift to me. herman unworthy is just like me fr. i am going to take an eternity to recover from this.

[automatismoateo]

How do I do it? Please how do I get them to answer a question? I'm actually spazzing man via /r/atheism

How do I do it? Please, how do I get them to answer a question? I'm actually spazzing man I get really mad in this, so I'm sorry if it's too much, go ahead and delete the post if it is. I am so sick, and I mean SICK of arguing with theists. It's just so many FUCKING fallacies, over and over again. I'm actually fucking losing it. I don't get it, I seriously don't get it, what are you thinking? Did God take your critical thinking skills? Did he remove your ability to comprehend even the literal simplest piece of information? I literally have to baby proof the argument I'm making, and they STILL DONT ANSWER. Dodging questions over and over, deflecting with a completely unrelated Bible quote, I mean seriously? Hey bud, newsflash, the burden of proof is on YOU. NOT ME. And no, no, for the thousandth time, YOU CAN'T PROVE THE BIBLE WITH THE BIBLE. ‘These events really happened, that means Jesus is king!’ AND ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER HAS REAL EVENTS BUT THAT STORIES NOT REAL, IS IT? A brick wall, it's a fucking brick wall. My parents, my grandma, they don't fucking listen. It's not even indoctrination at this point, it's fucking brainwashing! These people are so fucking brainrotted, they literally can't finish one sentence without a logical fallacy! How are you so willfully ignorant?!?! I'm literally speaking in baby talk, I've dumbed down my argument as much as possible, literally all I want is a yes or no answer. Can't wait to hear what you say- oh, you changed the subject again. Wow. Fun. Please, please please please. Just answer one question without a fallacy. I'll literally convert to your religion right now if you answer the question... and you changed the subject again, FUCK- No, no, no, no! Your prayers ‘coming true’, aren't proof of a FUCKING DEITY. Your out of body experience didn't show you anything, because- let me dumb this down. If a Hindu sees their God, and you see your God, how do you know which one’s right? ‘...well, God works in mysterious ways-’ SHUT THE FUCK UP! ANSWER. THE. QUESTION. ‘Well, Satan is giving them these visions.’ ‘How do you know Satan isn't giving you your visions?’ ‘...The Bible says that God-’ THE BIBLE IS THE CLAIM, NOT THE PROOF. And oh, oh my fucking God. Don't get me started on the 'We don't hate them, we just disagree with them.' OH really?? So when your God said to literally murder gay people, that was a mistake? Did he mispeak? But I thought he was perfect? Oh yeah, why would a perfect being creat me as a Bisexual, crossdressing man, if im gonna go to hell for that shit? Is God literally trying to torture me? Fuck your god then. Your God is vile. There, I said it. Your Bible God is a disgusting, egotistical, petty loser who supports genocide, rape, murder, slavery, I can go on. And oh lord lord lord, then after I deal with their bullshit for 2 hours, debating the most simple shit that they won't acknowledge, they say that IM THE ONE GETTING ANGRY. WELL YES, I AM MAD, IM REALLY REALLY MAD. WHAT ARE YOU PERFECT??? KENWJWBJDBEBWJQNSBWJBD And it's just- holy shit, man! Just think! Please! Forget about God, forget the Bible, all of that. Just clear your mind and think without a deity breathing down your neck. Isn't that so much better? You can just- be you! Enjoy yourself! Be gay, trans, non-binary, go out drinking, have sex, do stuff you want without having to follow some magic book! Be you! I'm shaking, I'm crying, I'm fucking tweaking out right now man, tweaked out of my mind, dying. I haven't slept for shit, or relaxed for shit, I'm trying so fucking hard, it just means nothing. I'm losing it, it's so fucking over. Edit: fr though, thank yall so much. This is probably the nicest community I've been in on this app. Submitted November 10, 2024 at 05:10PM by No_Statistician9129 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/LRFmI6k)

[praseodykemium]

2:48 am 6 April 2024

tonight I ate a huge block of chocolate and I felt like killing myself. I'm not suicidal. My right thigh really aches where I sometimes cut it months ago. And now while writing, I feel like shitting myself because my stomach does this surrendering thing when I feel any strong emotions. I'm not even sure what emotion it is this time.

Sometimes I cry out of nowhere. The tears just come I am not in control of them. They are usually preceded by some screeching from me. I don't know why I do that either. I hurt my close ones doing that and I don't like it.

I don't have any friends I can talk to. Well I was talking to a friend in the evening (11pm) and the discussion kinda upset me (made me feel like a worthless creature who should cease from existence), and so I watched 6 episodes of Fleabag and related and laughed and felt a lot of things but mainly- "what am I doing with my life? Have I no ambition? I should be studying for an exam next year and not enjoying something" <— that (the last two sentences) was actually from the discussion with the friend.

She said we are all born equally smart. Some just work harder than others. And she compared me and meghna (who is ofcourse better than me despite me besting her in most of our school exams in 12th. She was a topper in 11th and I was not. I'm glad in a way that everyone remembers that. I really hated expectations. But yeah that kinda stung. It wasn't the main hit, far from it). She said that her parents and loads of other doctors work REAAALLY HARD and ARE PERRRRFECTLY HEALTHY (when I told her that over pressuring yourself with work is gonna bring a cerebral stroke and you'll die early and not get to enjoy any of your money and respect and freedom.)

SO THEN IN MY HEAD, MY STUPID MIND TWISTED THST SENTENCE AND MADE IT INTO "OH I CALLED YOUR BLUFF. YOURE JUST OVERREACTING. CEREBRAL STROKES ARE A MYTH BECAUSE OHHHHHH LOOK ST ME BOASTING MY SUPER FIT AND HEALTHY AND ALIVE PARENTS WHO WORK ALL DAY!!!!!" (I hope that everyone she thought of in that list of perfectly healthy and alive workaholics STAY HEALTHY AND WELL AND ALIVE. MAY SHE NEVER FIND OUT THAT BITTER BITTER BLOW THAT CHANGES YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD. MAY SHE NEVER LOSE HER PARENTS YOUNG. GOD BLESS EVERYONE SHE THOUGHT OF AND MORE 🛐)

BUT FUCK YOU VERSHA FOR SAYING THAT because unknowingly you touched a nerve I didn't even know I still had alive. FUCK ME. God I hate everything. I really relate to fleabag rn even though I have no qualifications other than my dad dying to feel relatable to her saying "I feel like crying. All the time."

Its been 3 years and I still haven't gotten over my drunk brother (cousin) molesting me at 15. Because we were really close at a point in time (YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP). AND I TRUSTED HIM MORE THAN ANYONE. I AM STILL NOT OVER IT.

i feel I was hypersexual from as long as I can remember. I had this repeating dream-vision-imagination thing that I am in a hospital lying with my lower body uncovered naked and the doctor calling in my super older than me ( when I was 15 he was 23 or something and the younger one was probably 21) cousin brothers— to come and stare at my genitals. I have had this dream thingy since as long as I can remember. It was often repeating in my head. I do not know why. I was assaulted YEARS later by the both of them on multiple separate occasions but that foreshadowing was thoroughly confusing and unasked for and really fucked up my childhood.

I have been masturbating since as long as I can remember as well. I don't know what's wrong with me. But I'm terrified of men. And I am terrified of being penetrated. I would rather die a virgin honestly. But I'm also really fucking horny all the time. But I really really really do not want anybody to touch my naked body ever.

whenever somebody invades (accidentally or otherwise) my personal space, I have this passive surrendering feeling wash over me like a drug. Like I know that I hate it, I'm aware of me hating someone doing that but it's just that twisted horny part of me or something else maybe i don't know that forces me to remain stationary like a soldier called to attention. I let the intrusive hand finger thigh do whatever the fuck it wants to do and I stay completely still. It's not supposed to be this way. I'm a strong (not really), adult (19 in June this year), aware (vividly aware of articles and awareness videos, Wikipedia and RAIIN articles about every sexual assault terminology, their after effects, mental disorders, percentages, everything) woman with a brown belt in karate. I should do better than this. But my STUPID FUCKING TWISTED MINDED BODY REFUSES TO SEE REASON AND FOLLOW THROUGH WITH MOVING AWAY. SO YEAH FUCK ME I GUESS IM NOT GONNA GIVD CONSENT BUT I CAN JUST STAND HERE AND BE A REALLY GOOD WANKING MATERIAL FOR YOU.

I have to sleep it's 3:27 am now. And I really hate Martin (Claire's i.e. fleabag's sister's husband) from Fleabag.

I think fleabag's therapist scene brought this rant on. And my right thigh really fucking hurts.

[winderlylandchime]

And we are at 2x11 1/2: The man is feeling so confident in his new found “chill” because he didn’t lose his mind the last episode that he is now sure he can watch the entire season without any smoke breaks (yes, i typed this out while having war flashbacks to ethan):

‘Oh that’s a lot of boobies..wait its their bachelorette? They’re actually going through with it? Oh boy. SEE EVEN THE PSYCHIC KNOWS ITS A BAD IDEA!!!’ ‘Now that is a way to get out of a wedding! I need a similar excuse to get out of that check up later this week’ i wish you could see this man because he is feeling so relaxed since he’s so sure in himself that the worst is over for some reason. ‘OH MY GOD HE IS TAKING JUSTIN TO MIAMI! HE WANTS TO TAKE MY BOY TO MIAMI EVEN THO THATS WHERE HE’S SUPPOSED TO FUCK ALL THE GUYS!!! OH MY GOD! Brian..let’s revisit the Love town..come one just say it to him!’ ‘…i get it’s their wedding but let my boy have fun without guilt trips. Plus i bet my *looks at his wallet* shit…um, i bet my…my…CIGARETTE! That they won’t last so who cares if he misses it’ and now he is losing his shit once again because of Ted and his blanket comments. He is still very sure of himself since these last two episodes have given him false security. SERIOUSLY. How many more signs do you need that you shouldn’t get married? *linds says the same thing but she says bc theyre gay* NO! NO! NO THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID! The reason you shouldn’t get married is because y’all suck! You as a couple make as much sense as those subtitles yesterday’ (he watched an episode of Criminal Minds while high as a kite and accidentally set the subtitles to Chinese and then proceeded to try and convince me that he was chinese in previous life since he can understood them..he was very sad and relieved when he discovered what happened) *pauses tv* ‘oh so let me get this straight *raises hand to brian’ no offense. So, melanie *said in that childish mocking voice* hates brian 24/7, practically wished him to die last season so that he could sign his insurance whatever to Gus, is a horrible bitch to him every time I see her and YET YET!! The second shit hits the fan, she comes crying to him for help…hypocrite..might wanna look that one up melly. And of course he is going to help’ He is now hoping that they put a montage of everyone getting their jobs done for the wedding. And now he is getting distracted by showing me the Legally Blonde montage when she gets her shit together that he keeps on his phone bc it’s his favorite scene ever and he watches it when he needs motivation..just when i thought nothing could surprise me.. ‘i truly appreciate that the fact that this man made pickles never goes unnoticed! I wish i could eat a pickle. Why did i promise mom I wasn’t gonna eat a pickle..*looks at the ceiling* yo, big guy, give me a sign if i shouldnt eat one.’ At this point i had to step in and be responsible to wish he just went ‘you’re no fun, the pickle guy would appreciate me risking it all for him’

Okay I need to go directly to that fact that he set the subtitles to Chinese and then thought he knew Chinese. I AM DYING WITH LAUGHTER.

"Hand to Brian, no offense." And yes, explain Melanie running to Brian to fix their wedding (I wonder if your brother will begin to notice a theme of QAF and Brian and weddings...) when she hates Brian except for the fact that she knows her future wife is in love with him. I don't get it.

HE HAS THE LEGALLY BLONDE MONTAGE ON HIS PHONE. Get this man a GLAAD award, honestly.

The pickle guy WOULD NOT appreciate your brother risking his life for him. In fact... (oh.. I always get sad over George).

[lovelyhan]

AURKAYYY im a liar and i actually read this the moment i put it in my tbr bc i really really really needed something like this rn ifykwim.......

more cohesive review under the cut so everyone doesn't have to be subjected to me losing it in the open

JADE IM LITERALLY LOSING MY MIND bc i promise you i have never read a fic that has had me hollering and keening and wailing the entire time... i had to screenshot so many banger lines here bc i was on the floor dying from the comedy 👹👹👹 not awnly that, but the depth of their love for each other still reads so well despite the humorous nature of the story and i--- [screams into a canyon]

I WAS LITERALLY LIKE "awww" when i read and he feels his stupid heart swell but then you followed it up w THAT 😭 STAWP PLAYING W MY FEELINGS LIKE THIS!!!

The most iconic line ever, if this isn't love i don't know what is !!! Very good call that you used this in the summary bc that's definitely what hooked me the fuck into this mess (pun intended)

GOD!!! HES JUST SOME GUY!!! SOME GUY THAT PROFESSES HIS LOVE TO HIS LOVER IN THE MOST SOME GUY WAY POSSIBLE!!! IM SO ENAMORED W HIM!!! Definitely makes sense why vernon was the one to pull me into stanning svt altogether and your writing is doing nothing but feeding my nonnie brainworms LMFAO

NOT HIM KINKSHAMING THE READER IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ALL 😭 even if u say u arent, u definitely are!! /j i fucking loooove how comfortable they are w each other that they just fuck around s o casually in the middle of period sex GOD ME WHEN

One thing ive always admired abt ur writing is that it always reads like a sitcom for some reason ??? I dont have the exact words i want to convey rn but basically uou make all the scenes you write so fluid yet entertaining at the same time,, the characters you write always have so much Character in them even with these subtle actions alone, the "self aware rectangle" ASJDJDJD ITS JUST SO VERNON!!!!! I am so very in love with your depiction of him im literally crying

BOY IF YOU DONT SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPP 😭😭😭 the way he brought up winnie the pooh too OH YOURE LUCKY YOURE HOT !!!

See this is yet another prime example of just how deep their love runs for each other. Relationships aren't perfect and the people involved aren't psychics so it's no surprise to be a little hesitant about what your partner is thinking... but for them to be implicitly conscious of what the other needs first before minding their own,,, i am so fucking jealous rn actually i've never wanted to be yn as badly as i do now 👹👹👹👹👹👹

Im so very sorry for going through it in here 😭 it's been a while since i've read a nice old nonnie fic and you provided a 5-star experience!!!

tidal.

but vernon has a point to make, so that’s precisely what he does: “i don’t need a sales pitch. you will never — ever — have to convince me to fuck you.” 

pairing: vernon x afab!reader type: one-shot (fluff n’ smut) au: est. relationship wc: 4.8k rating: 18+ a/n: i didn’t plan this whatsoever, but i felt so weirdly compelled to write it that i avoided eye-contact with all of my wips, and now… here we are, lol. cw: pov switch, reader is afab + on their period, gender identity + pronouns aren’t designated, blood mention (obvi), unprotected p in v penetration (ill-advised!!), wee bit of dry-humping (ig?), a lil massage, pet names (baby, sweetheart), self-indulgent ref to a favorite docu of mine, and lastly — vernon (yes, this is a warning 🧍🏻) 🔞 MINORS WHO INTERACT WITH ME AND/OR MY CONTENT WILL BE BLOCKED, WHETHER OR NOT THE CONTENT IS NSFW. I’M AN ADULT WRITING EXCLUSIVELY FOR OTHER ADULTS.

Vernon isn’t blind. 

He can see you out of the corner of his eye, laying flat on your back, several unexplained centimeters away from his side. With the duvet clenched in your fists, you stare intensely up at the ceiling, like you’re waiting for it to move — or trying to move it yourself, telekinetically. You keep your bottom lip pinched between your teeth, as if you expect it to make a run for it.

So, yes, Vernon can see you. 

He just can’t figure out what’s wrong with you.

For a few minutes, he attempts to pay attention to the documentary lighting up the screen on the wall ahead. You were the one that picked it — some wild tale about mother-daughter recluses in New York — and he finds it hard to give a shit about it without your usual commentary. Your hot takes are his favorite part of any movie night, after all.

He’ll be the first to admit that he’s never been good at keeping his eyes off you. Try as he might, he can’t glue his gaze to the television; each glance in your direction sticks longer than the one before it, testing the waters. Minutes slip away just like this until he completely caves, turns his head fully, and stares at you outright. 

You still don’t seem to notice.

His brow scrunches up as he watches you, caught in the middle between concerned, confused, and amused by how absolutely ridiculous you look right now. When he speaks, he tries to sound stern, like he isn’t fighting the urge to laugh.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?” is all he gets in response. 

You don’t even look his way. If anything, you tense harder now that his attention is on you. 

None of it makes sense. Not the weird gap you’ve left between your body and his, your total refusal to look him in the eye, or the fact that there wasn’t an argument to precipitate any of this distance. It’s a symptom with no apparent cause, and it’s totally baffling. Brain-breaking, even.

Frowning, Vernon scoots himself across the bed to get closer to you. 

You don’t reciprocate. 

He tugs gently at the hem of your sweatshirt in a silent plea for your attention and receives radio silence in response; unless he counts the way you swallow thickly.

Which, for the record, he does not.

This close, Vernon can feel the anxious energy pulsing out of your tensed-up body in waves, so he leans away and props himself up on his elbow. Desperate to know what broke you and how to fix it, he mutters, “What is happening right now?”

Ope. 

It comes out harsher than it was supposed to, reading more like annoyance than worry, so he immediately clears his throat. Gently and with a brush of his knuckles against your hip bone, he tries again: “Are you okay? Did I do something to make you mad at me?”

A fly on the wall might get the wrong impression and think he stroked you with a live wire instead.

“Oh, my god. No!” You sputter with a jolt, shifting gears quickly from vaguely on-edge to horrified. You shake your head so frantically that Vernon fears you’ll detach it. “No, you haven’t done anything. I’m fine, I just —”

He interjects with a laugh, “— I don’t necessarily believe that —”

Visibly cringing with every muscle in your body, you cover your face with your hands. Not long after you take a deep breath does a meek voice slip out through your fingers, sounding beyond embarrassed.

“I’m so incomprehensibly horny right now that I can’t even look at you.”

For a second, it’s dead silent because he can’t quite process how much of a weirdo you are, or how completely and hopelessly enamored he is with you. But then the dam breaks. His laugh comes out so forcefully that you pull your hands away from your face, eyes wide.

“Is that so?” He smirks, nodding his head towards the television. “Grey Gardens really gets your motor running, huh?”

Absolutely aghast, you swat at his bicep. Then, you sling your arm over your eyes and groan, “I got my period. It has turned me into a sex-crazed monster, I fear.”

Vernon nods in understanding, even though you can’t see it, and hums, “Ahh.”

And he leaves it at that, only because you seem to have more that you want to say. Something you want to ask, maybe, or a reason you may want to give for not jumping his bones at the first opportunity. He’s down, he thinks without hesitation, so long as you are.

But you don’t say anything.

Maybe you aren’t actually down after all, and that’s why you won’t look at him. Shit, are you embarrassed? Should I say something? Silence falls overtop like a weighted blanket, smothering the two idiots who can’t tell whose turn it is to talk. 

Do you or do you not want this right now?

You mumble something that he can’t catch, so he nudges your side gently with his knuckles to encourage you. Just as nervous, you repeat yourself without looking at him, “Period sex is supposed to help with cramps, I think.”

He thinks he’s read the exact same article you have. More than that, he wishes you’d look over at him and see for yourself how completely unbothered he is by this concept.

“If you think about it, it’s kind of like a natural lubricant,” you add in a voice that’s even smaller than before.

Your shyness really might kill him, so he reaches over to grab your hand and gently pull your arm away from your eyes. It’s the first time you’ve looked at him since you laid down — since you put your self-imposed no-contact order in place — and he feels his stupid heart swell.

For what it’s worth, he feels his dick twitch, too.

You open your mouth to speak again, likely to continue your unnecessary campaigning; Vernon is having none of it. He tugs your wrist just enough to tilt you inward, then he kisses you hard enough to shut you up. A tiny whimper slips out of your lips when he pulls away, and it almost makes him regret his decision to do so. 

But Vernon has a point to make, so that’s precisely what he does: “I don’t need a sales pitch. You will never — ever —  have to convince me to fuck you.” 

Your eyes crinkle at the corners, like this is somehow news to you. It shouldn’t be. He’s told you a thousand times in as many different ways how thoroughly crazy you drive him just by existing so closely to him, but maybe you didn’t take him seriously then.

To emphasize his point, he slips his hand under the hem of your sweatshirt and finds your bare waist with the pad of his thumb. It spirals slowly against your warm skin, making both of you dizzy. Then, sick of the distance, Vernon dips his head down to press a kiss to your temple. 

“Like, ever,” he murmurs, lips following the curve of your jaw. 

Soft, slow kisses trail behind him as he travels down to your lips. Your head tilts further backwards with every single one, providing him with more and more access. 

He states it matter-of-factly because, to him, it is. “I’m down so bad for you that it might be terminal.”

“Oh?” 

You try to laugh but turn to putty when his palm rests fully on the curve of your waist and pulls you flush against him. The surprised gasp you let loose confirms his suspicion: You can feel how serious he is, affirmation throbbing against your abdomen in time with his heartbeat. 

Vernon smirks to himself, relishing your reaction, and bypasses your mouth entirely. A moan escapes from you, soft like an exhale, as his lips move slowly down the length of your neck. Every so often — just to feel you shiver — he flicks the tip of his tongue along the delicate skin he finds there.

“It might be messy…” 

The rest of your needless warning gets lost in a dreamy sigh as he suckles at the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. Shifting even closer, your desperate fingers reach out and cling to his t-shirt.

Vernon licks a stripe over the galaxy blooming on your skin. He hums, hand traveling upwards from your waist, “Don’t care about a mess.”

And he means it. 

Mindful of any soreness, he smooths his hand over your left breast and massages it tenderly, swearing to himself that he’ll throw the whole fucking mattress out if that’s what it comes down to. For you, he’ll race across town on foot to buy another one, and — fuck it — if the store is closed, he might just break in.

You’re growing impatient; your fingers let go of his shirt and tangle themselves in his hair.

“So needy,” he chuckles low in his chest, teasing. “You know, I think you’re lying. I think it is this bat-shit insane documentary that’s driving you wild, and you’re too embarrassed to admit it.”

“Stop,” you whine, dragging out the vowel sound. 

You don’t, though; you throw your left leg over his right thigh and shimmy forward until your cunt grazes his dick. Involuntarily, he groans at the warmth radiating off your core. Every part of you drives him just the slightest bit insane. You seem to know it, he thinks as he watches your pupils dilate in real time.

But he can play games, too, so he rolls his hips forward and grinds against you. He pushes you further, “Don’t get me wrong, baby. I’m not kink-shaming you —”

“Hansol Vernon Chwe!”

Oh, shit. Government name?

“— I’m just a little surprised, I guess.” He sighs with a shrug. “Think you know somebody…”

Your impatience is scribbled all across your scrunched up face. It seeps into your voice when you crash back against the pillows and huff, “Can you please stop fucking with me and start fucking me?”

“Sex-crazed monster, huh?” Leaning over, Vernon punctuates his question with a quick press of his lips to yours.

You whimper, “I’m so serious. I might explode.”

“Then go take care of whatever you need to take care of.” He kisses you again, smiling so fondly that his eyes may even be twinkling. “And I’ll go get a towel.”

You wait until Vernon clears the threshold before launching yourself out of bed at breakneck speed. Stumbling all the while, you race off to the adjoining bathroom and shut the door forcefully behind you. When it clatters against the frame, you finally admit to yourself that you might be a little bit eager.

Maybe.

Opting to keep your baggy, bleach-stained sweatshirt on, you wiggle out of your shorts and — what he refers to as — your crisis diaper. The high-waisted, frumpy, beige panties are utilized exclusively during your period, and to your surprise, they’ve remained spotless. It’s only ever the pretty and expensive pairs that wind up as collateral damage, isn’t it?

As they pool around your ankles, you can’t help but think that Vernon’s nickname for them is pretty spot on. That’s partly why you figured he might need to be talked into this. Unsated arousal aside, you feel as far from sexy as you can possibly get.

You shake your head to clear your thoughts, kick what you’ve discarded into a pile near the hamper, and let your sweatshirt shift down to cover as much of your ass as it’s capable of managing. You grab a square of toilet paper; then, you go to work excavating the wad of cotton that separates you from everything you want in this life. 

It is within the realm of possibility that you’re a little bit eager and a little bit dramatic. 

Perhaps.

After discarding the evidence in the small trash can under the sink, you wash your hands as if you’re about to step into an operating theater and not the bedroom you spend half your life in. When you finally feel sterile, you lift your head and catch your reflection in the mirror. Instantly, you make eye contact with the painful, hormonal pimple on your chin — the one you’ve been waging a retinoid war against for days.

“Bitch,” you mutter, like calling it names will be the one thing that finally gets it to shrink. Of course, your plan doesn’t work, but you feel a little less powerless. That’s good enough, you think. At least, as good as it’s going to get.

Now half-naked and certifiably unobstructed, you tiptoe back to your bedroom much more carefully than you left it. Vernon enters from the opposite doorway at the same time, jumping slightly the second he notices you. You ignore his frightened eyes and glance down at the crisp, white towel he’s clutching.

You open your mouth to suggest anything otherwise, but he beats you to it. His eyebrows shoot up his forehead as his mouth widens outwards, a self-aware rectangle. Otherwise expressionless, he lets go of an atonal, “Aaaaaaah”, that tells you he’s caught on.

He says nothing else before turning around and walking back the way he came. You have to bite down on your lips to keep from cackling.

That one’s mine, you think, still as infatuated as you were at the start. I chose that one.

While he’s gone, you try not to move, not to breathe too heavily. Vernon said he didn’t care about a mess, but when he said it, he was speaking theoretically with his hand on your tit. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d spoken recklessly with your body melting under his touch.

As far as you know, he hasn’t had any experience with this mess in practice. He could wind up finding you about as sexy as you currently feel — to wit: not at all. So, erring on the side of caution, you turn yourself into a statue and wait for the boy and his towel to find you again.

When he comes back, he plants a drive-by kiss on your unsuspecting mouth before skirting right around you. With shocking finesse, he grabs the corners of the — thankfully — black towel, which unfurls in the seconds before he flicks it upwards. It lands perfectly in the center of the bed, flat without needing to be fussed with.

“Wow,” he mutters to himself, taking in his clean work with raised eyebrows.

The impressed look is still on his face when he turns around, but you don’t have time to comment on his feat because he laughs as soon as he sees you.

“Kinda look like Donald Duck with the whole top-on, bottom-off situation.”

I chose this one?

You pout with an indignant gasp, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m not wearing a sailor hat, so…. bad analogy. Rude, even.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs as he snakes his arms around your waist and pulls you in close. You stumble a little on your way into him; the jury’s still out about whether it’s his hushed tone or the sudden movement that trips you up.

Between his thumb and index finger, he gently captures your chin. You follow along with his unspoken direction, tilt your face up to meet his. This close, you can see your own reflection in his pupils, black dilating against the warmest shade of brown you’ve ever seen.

Vernon takes a moment of silence as he takes in your features, and he studies them so intently that his eyebrows crinkle on their own. He sighs, sounding so completely serious. “You might get prettier every time I look at you.”

It’s unclear if you’re melting, or gushing; and if it’s the latter, you can’t say which biological process is at fault. Thankfully, the hand at the small of your back keeps your weak knees from buckling when his lips brush over yours.

“Even if you’re dressed like Winnie the Pooh.” 

You feel him smirk even before you hear him laugh at his own joke. Then, you feel his hand slide down to cup your bare cheek, squeezing affectionately. You want to tell him that this analogy is still inaccurate because you’re not wearing a crop-top; but he gently instructs you to ditch the sweatshirt and get on the bed, and your body moves automatically. No questions asked.

Carefully, you crawl up onto the mattress, then you center yourself on the towel. Still on your knees, you tilt your head curiously and ask, “Where do you want me?”

“Anywhere,” he breezes, pulling his shirt off and tossing it onto the dresser nearby. He amends, “Everywhere. All the time, and then some.”

“Better be careful,” you tease. “Talking like that might have consequences. You may never be able to get rid of me.”

His joggers are the next to go. Your sanity follows shortly thereafter, hungry eyes lingering on the imprint of his cock underneath his boxer briefs. You have to clamp your mouth shut to keep from drooling.

Brown eyes sparkling, he steps closer to you, kicking his pants aside as he goes. “Be careful,” he echoes, not a hint of cockiness to be found — just softness. “Saying it like a threat doesn’t make me wish it’s not a promise.”

I choose this one.

Crossing all the way to you, Vernon reaches the bed and climbs up with significantly more grace than you did. The mattress dips under his weight as he kneels right in front of you, mirroring your posture and causing your stomach to flip with anticipation.

You can’t help yourself; you lick your lips and look up at him with half-lidded eyes. “Naked, please. Like, right now.”

“Damn, I gotta do this myself?” Incredulous, he holds his hands up while glancing pointedly down at his underwear, then back at you. 

You arch an eyebrow, unfazed. 

“Depends.” You shrug. “Do you want to keep them? Because I really will rip them off of you.”

He concedes quickly; he always does. Sighing, he shakes his head and tuts, “Sex-crazed monster,” before pushing his briefs down his thighs. His length hangs heavy between you, but you swear you can feel its perfect ache inside you already.

You have a one-track mind, so you don’t hesitate to reach out and wrap your hand around him. A groan crawls up from the bottom of your chest when you feel the weighted warmth of his cock in your palm. You don’t hold that back, either.

“Fuck,” he sighs, head tilting as far backwards as it’ll go. Unexpectedly, he laughs. He doesn’t catch the quizzical look you shoot him, though he explains himself anyway, “Your hands are so fucking cold, but it feels so good.”

Swiping your thumb over his tip, you spread the pre-cum you find there down his shaft and stroke him slowly. He grows harder with every gentle squeeze, every pass of your fist. 

“We’re learning a lot of new shit about each other today.” You lean forward to pepper kisses across his collarbones. The hum of your mouth against his skin when you talk makes his cock twitch in your hand. “You might have a temperature kink and a thing for Winnie the Pooh.”

He snorts, nowhere near serious, “Shut the fuck up.”

“Make me,” you counter smugly, and you do mean it.

Vernon tilts his head forward to stare back at you. You’re already turning into a puddle, but if the look he gives you says anything, it’s that your melting isn’t enough for him. His voice is low and velvet-lined when he responds, “How about I just make you cum instead?”

“That could work, yeah.” You shrug.

He runs the pads of his fingers down each side of your waist to your hips, then back again; and each time he does it, you shiver. Reflexively, your back arches, chest pressing against his.

At this, he smirks, “It could? Maybe?”

“We can workshop it.”

“Or,” Vernon so generously offers, “You can turn around and lay down on your stomach. You know, if that’s sufficient.”

It’s not until you whip around and flop down onto the towel that you realize you never responded with words. Oh well. You figure he gets the point, judging by the quiet laughter you hear as he settles with his knees on either side of your upper thighs.

You don’t know what his next move will be — you don’t care, either, as long as he moves in your direction — so you don’t anticipate his palms flattening against your bare back, applying perfect pressure with his thumbs while he rubs away the soreness at the very base of your torso.

“Oh, shit,” you moan, eyes fluttering shut as the heels of his hands work out the tension in your muscles. “Have you always been good at this?”

You feel his chest brush against your shoulder blades when he hovers over you. Against the nape of your neck, he murmurs, “Nope.”

He kisses down your spine, mouth trailing after his hands as they work their way back down your body.

“Lemme guess — you read an article? Studied up?”

You get a snicker, then an affirmative hum, then another kiss. This time, it’s at the curve of your spine, just above your ass. Seconds later, he’s kneading the doughy flesh of your cheeks until your whole fucking body tingles.

That’s when it hits you:

Under normal circumstances, Vernon would be face-first in your pussy by now. Devouring you in earnest, like he’s starving. He can’t do that now — and you don’t blame him — so he’s making up for what you both view as a loss.

God, you want him.

One hand disappears from you, but you don’t have to guess where it went. You can hear the barely-there hiss of breath through his teeth when he takes his cock in that hand; as well as the very faint shift of his palm while he pumps himself.

“You’re gonna have to navigate, baby. I dunno how sensitive you are like this, what’s too much — any of that, so you need to tell me how you want me to move.”

Suddenly dizzy over how badly you need him, all you can muster is a nod. Vernon must want a verbal acknowledgment, though, because he leans back over you with one hand bearing his weight beside your head.

He kisses your shoulder and urges you, “Please say so if you need to stop or switch it up. Don’t wanna hurt you, sweetheart.”

“I will,” you breathe. “But I can’t even articulate how much I need you inside of me right now, so please — pretty please — fuck me.”

The tip of his nose bumps your temple affectionately. Right beside your ear, he teases, “With a cherry on top?” And it vibrates down your whole goddamn spine.

“Vernon!” You whine, burying your face in the comforter. It’s muffled, but you warn him nonetheless, “Don’t make me come back there.”

“Aish. Calm down, sex monster.”

The instinct to twist around and glare at him over your shoulder is strong, but every feral urge you feel is stronger. So, when he tells you to spread yourself open for him and tilt your hips back, you do so without even a hint of complaining.

With the crown of his cock slipping through your folds, inching towards your entrance, you hear him curse under his breath. Suddenly self-conscious, you finally crane your neck to the side and glance back at him. 

“We don’t have to,” you whisper. “If it’s gross and you don’t want to anymore, I get it —”

He balks at your suggestion without letting so much as a beat pass. “None of that, sweetheart; no spiraling. I’m just trying to figure out the logistics of, like… how to survive how good this already feels.”

Struck dumb, all you can muster is a peep, “Oh?”

“Shit, yeah.” His response comes in a low groan. “Can you take a deep breath for me?”

It’s a good call on his part, a suggestion you’re glad to have taken, because the pressure of him entering you is intense enough to knock the wind out of you. Empty lungs likely would’ve led to your untimely demise.

You whimper, already overwhelmed with the combination of pain and pleasure; the best kind of ache. The little, breathy moans must freak him out, however, because his fingertips caress your waist as he checks in: “This okay?”

Your limp arm lifts off the mattress, which you’ve melted fully into, and you form a circle with your index finger and thumb to indicate that you’re okay. The light is bright fucking green; you’ve just maxed out your capacity for speech.

Vernon continues his slow thrust forward, giving you ample time to adjust to his size.

“Oh my god,” he grunts, “This is — shit, I can’t believe we haven’t done this before. If I knew how good you’d feel like this, I wouldn’t have waited around for you to ask me.”

That hits like a truck.

He was waiting on you. 

You spent months convincing yourself that he’d need to be convinced, and chickening out before you could raise the idea. Months, and months, and months, of craving him during your werewolf transformation; wasting away over a shitty assumption that Vernon is anything like the people you’ve been with before. 

Christ. 

His credit for putting up with you is long overdue.

Too tongue-tied to speak any of that out loud, you settle for a summary that you hope conveys the message: “I love you so fucking much.”

Mindful of how deep it will push him into your cunt, he leans down over you carefully. Weight balanced on his knees and forearms, he envelopes you in his body heat, trails kisses across your shoulder, and echoes your words back at you between each one.

“Is this too much?” He whispers, rolling his hips slowly.

You feel him everywhere, with every drag of his cock along your walls; and you can’t tell where that throbbing sensation is coming from, him or you. 

You shake your head and sigh, “‘s perfect. You’re perfect.”

Like he knows it’ll unravel you, his large hand comes to rest over the back of yours. His fingers slip through the spaces between and squeeze you much more gently than the vice grip you hold on the bedding below you. He keeps holding you — just like this — through every movement.

The sensation of being this surrounded, this loved, this whole crashes over you like a wave and knocks you off balance.

“I’m so close,” you pant, voice as ragged as your breathing. There’s nothing that he isn’t already giving you with every deep, deliberate thrust into your heat; but you beg nonetheless, “Please, please, please —”

His speed doesn’t increase, but the intensity does. The smack of his hips colliding with your ass does, too, and you feel it reverberating in your bones. Buried as far inside of you as he can be, cock tip kissing your cervix with every high tide, length rolling across your g-spot with every low.

You cum so hard — so completely, invoking every single muscle you have — that you forget how to breathe. With a choked-out gasp, you squeeze your eyes shut and let your orgasm devastate you. 

“Fuck!”

Vernon gets caught up in the current, too, grinding desperately against you until he’s swept up in your wake. You feel him twitch inside you as his release floods, leaving you so lost in his warmth that you feel boneless underneath him.

His face winds up hidden in the crook of your neck, somewhere amidst the baby hairs that cling to the sheen of your sweat. You feel his lips fluttering against your skin when he laughs, “Oh…my god.”

“Mmphf.” You nod weakly in agreement. Beyond blissed, your body still tingles too much to move.

Slurring, you add, “‘s good. ‘s really…”

The rest of that thought dissolves into something between a moan and a yawn.

Just as tired, Vernon pats your ass cheek affectionately and mumbles, “Well said. No notes.”

You tilt your head far enough to free your face from the sheets. When you do, you find your boyfriend fighting a losing battle to keep his eyes open. In the rare seconds he can, he looks back at you in a daze that seems even more adoring than it does fuck-drunk.

“I think I need to hibernate now,” you announce. “Think you just fucked me so well that I need to take a sabbatical.”

He counter-offers, “Shower first, then sabbatical?”

You wiggle so that you can pull your joint hands to your mouth. You can’t kiss him properly while he’s laid out on top of you, but you can press your lips to the back of his hand and hope he feels how much of you that you pour into it.

“Okay, but, like…. who’s carrying who?”

[theodoraflowerday]

heartstopper s2e6 live episode reaction

okay

would you feel better if I waited here? - no please come with me

oh I'm going thru it

AAAAAAAAAA the cringe it is UNBEARABLE

children of not-super-estranged-but-still-not-close dads all over the world are going AA

"ah I miss that boy" THAT IS YOUR SON OH MY GOD

oh my fucking godddddddddd

sarah is the only functional parent in this series sweet baby jesus

"he just doesn't know me" oh my god

oh my god I shouldn't have watched this at work LMAO

haha oh my fucking god

OH MY GOSHSKFJDKRJDKGJFKRJDLRK

THOSE BOYS ARE SO HAPPY

SAHAR'S "BUT IT WASN'T A MISTAKE!!!"

THREE TIMES?????

oh my god I want a group of friends lol

omg tao went WHAT ARE WE on elle skdlfjslgkdlfk

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GIVING ME ANOTHER HICKEY SJFKDJFKDJFKFJG

NOOOOIKDJFKDJ

I GET STRESSED ABOUT EVEYRYTHING YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL

nick how are you this perfect

oh my GOD MR AJAYI AND MR FAROUK AAAAAAAAAA

oh man I know "I don't think there's an age limit on those tbh" is gonna hit all of us dumb adults watching this show jdkfjdktjdktjd

YOU FLIRTING WITH ME? - MAYBE JAKFJDKFJFLDJFLFUFODIDPSO

DARCY'S PRESENT FOR TARA IM IN TEARSJDKFJSKFJDL

the lil moment with nick and charlie seeing other queer people I am going to rip all of my appendages

charlie spring: hoodie thief

NOT THE RECHARGING BITNIM LOSING MY MIND

they're SO SOFT IM DYING

I hate you - no! you like me! - I really don't HSKFJSKFJDKFJ KILL ME

EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PERFECT FOR TARA SHE'S A PRINCESS OH I'M DUINGJFKFJDKJF

I want to grab tara and hold her and never let her go my baby girl

NOT TAO AND ELLEJSKFKSLFKSLFISLFI

LMFJSLFJSLFK charlie's got fuckin game oh my god this loser ass bitch has THREE people crushing on him (though like I don't think you can call nick's feelings a crush when he's his future husband AND ben is a psychopath)

I have been relating probably a little TOO MUCH to isaac this season ngl

"we keep escaping parties to hang out with each other" "are we gonna do it every time?" "I hope so" oh okay yeah that just sent me into a spiral

I want your midnights but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new years day ass behavior my lord

soulmatism idc

"not running away this time though" "please don't" jesus fucking CHRIST

did y'all know I love darcy cause I love darcy

charlie's "no" and then closing the door on harry HSKFJSKFJDKFJ ICON BEHAVIOR

now I need someone to shove ben down that balcony

imogen and sahar? oh that was scorned lover type of behavior I'm seeing the vision

CHARLIE COME ON I KNOW YOU'VE LOVED ME FOR YEARS

OH MY GODKDLSKDLSKDLSKSLD

I don't understand why they keep inviting ben to these things. that man is like literally a fun murderer. he's an asshole in many ways but also like fucking gross idc

OH LGO

OH SHIT NICK

OH NICK

OH BABY

OH THAT WAS SO BRAVE

me, who has read those books like a hundred times: OH NO WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY BE SAYING

james is so fuckin sweet "do you wants us to keep it a secret" oh baby

AAAAAAAAAAA

oh my fucking GOD darcy jesus

not even a discretion shot? fuck that was ajdksjfldnno

"why did I get into teaching" same

the piggyback I'll fucking DIE

those hugs look so comfy jesus christ

they're literally the most precious baby boys I'm going to fucking die

my GOD that's whore behavior right there

oh my god that's so fucking cute

the muffled WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS I'm

IMOGEN IS CUDDLED UP WITH SAHAR OG MY HOD

"I have to be perfect for you" DARCY BABY NOOOOOOOOOOO

oh baby darcy

OOOOOH MY GOD YOUSSEF

OOOOHHHHHHH

me, knowing everything that happens w mr farouk and mr ayaji: AAAAA WHATS GONNA HAPPEN

I'm actually so obsessed with nick constantly using charlie as a pillow lmao

THE MR FAROUK PHOTOODOFIODFIOSDILDGJDKKFK

oh man that episode was so fucking sweet even though it made me cry lmao