#i love this book but im excited to be done
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Throwing this in, though I know you have a post saying you're taking a break: I quite like Tetro. The story is exciting, and incredible. You've done an amazing job piecing everything together, and it has lead to me pretty seriously looking into following the footsteps of this project with a story also told in this audio format, since you demonstrated so clearly not only how this was possible, but how this could be done so well for a Killing Game specifically. The latest events, the latest death, as made me incredibly sad, and I feel a lot of emotional turmoil over losing both victims. But despite that, I have enjoyed the loving, losing, and worrying for the future. That's amazing. All of it is amazing. I have my theories and conclusions about who may be guilty and who isn't, but based on the posts I read, I mainly wanted to express an amount of thankfulness that the series exists at all. It's even lead to me writing fanpieces for some character interactions, and I imagine I have a few more in me from all that's gone on. Not only that, but the hard topics of this series have meant a lot to me. Yanagi and Tsuno have especially felt really close to home. The stories they talk about and the things they deal with matter in my own life. And the series as a whole has made me cry over stuff that mattered to me much more than any other media has done in the last year or so, maybe longer, in even broader strokes. All the characters don't just feel like people one could meet, but people I have met. People I have known. And some of those conversations feel just like ones I've had in my own life. You've done something incredible, and the writing has connected to me deeply. And though I can only speak for me, I doubt I'm alone in this. Thank you for this project, and thank you for sharing it so broadly, freely, and completely. Thanks for writing it, and writing daringly, maturely, and earnestly. At least, such are the ways I would describe it.
I hope I can cross paths with you sometime in the future over a creative endeavor. But in the meanwhile, I'll be tuned in to whatever you do for this, and for whatever comes next. As these things are called asks, if you do decide to respond: Who on Tetro is your favorite? Is it the same from when you were initially writing it? And what lead you to choose an audio drama as the medium in question? Thanks, and see ya at the trial.
thank you very very much, im extremely glad that youve been able to connect with my writing on that level and i hope that others have as well! i really enjoyed the writing process for tetro so its always really cool for me when others can enjoy my story as well
also, my favourite is hama! that changed a lot during production, but ive settled on hama as my goat forever i think. sorry to all the other favs i abandoned along the way
i chose the audio drama format because ive always really liked being able to picture things. when i was a kid, i used to fall asleep to audio books every night, and i really liked being able to picture the characters and stories as they were happening. i would always be so disappointed when id go to watch a movie adaptation of a book i liked only to see that everything looked different from in my head lmao.
i also think audio is a really fun format for this type of story! it was a fun challenge to get my points across without having visuals to back my writing. i didnt have very much faith in my ability to do this at first. tetro was originally planned to have a narrator because i didnt think id be able to tell a story without one. when i realized my writing could stand on its own, i took out the narrator and just let myself carry it as best i could. i think it made for some really fun opportunities where the impact of a scene just wouldnt have been nearly as strong if there had been visuals or narration.
i think [Ice Fairy] is a highlight of tetro in terms of audio storytelling - same with [Good Child]. having only audio forces you as the viewer to take a moment to figure out what's happening, which in turn gives you an "oh shit" realization moment that really helps the impact of a scene like [Ice Fairy] or [Good Child]. there are still some more really cool examples of tetro utilizing its format left to come - i hope you enjoy them when they do!
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xii. never lose me
a/n: (i lost the ask so sorry to that anon, hope u still find this 💀 but the ask was like: can you make a fic based off never lose me by flo milli? with smut)
happy new year my loves!
sorry this took so long im such a slow writer. plus im braindead asf. ik i said i had to proofread this in my last post but i lied i didnt 😬
nooobody ask me where he got all this money cuz baby idk. i hope some of this stuff is correct bc i am not rich 😭
warnings/tags: smut 👻, fem!black!reader, no use of y/n, no desc of reader's physical features BUT reader dresses feminine (think aliyahsinterlude), modern!ekko, boat sex yay, semi-public(?), risky, backshots 🎉, oral (e! recieving), reader getting spoiled, soft dom!ekko, so loosely inspired by the song, not proofread. raw vibe
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ekko goes above and beyond treating you right.
anything you want, all yours. that new purse? check your mailbox. you need your nails done? here's $300, keep the change, don't worry about it. he always makes sure you're pleased, even if you don't ask. he knows everything about you by heart. favorite flowers, favorite foods, plus your usual orders, so it's not uncommon to come home to food on the table with a fresh vase of florals seated next to it.
of course, nothing about this relationship was ever one sided. there is no one who prances around announcing that ekko is your man quite like you do. you make sure ekko knows that if he ever needs you, no matter what, you're there.
in return, you get whatever you want.
"ekko," you sing, putting your phone down in the cup holder. your hand rests over ekko's, which has a gentle grip on your thigh. crickets chirp outside, veiled beneath the dark sky and lack of light. you're speeding down an empty backroad on your way back home from a little shopping spree at a mall an hour and some change away. "i wanna go somewhere."
he hums. "where were you thinking?"
"dunno yet," you lean your weight onto the center console, maybe somewhere in asia."
"yeah?" he asks, squeezing the fat of your thigh. you smile wide. "sure. let me know when you decide."
"i will, thanks baby," you chirp, gently pulling his hand up your thigh and closer to your center. his fingers catch on the hem, pushing your denim skirt up and gently pressing his thumb into your clit. he's rubbing featherlight circles into it, running over the lacy underwear he bought for you a while back. your gasp is barely heard beneath the music.
the engine whirrs, and you see the speedometer shoot up.
so impatient.
.:*☆
it truly didn't take long for ekko to book that flight. you said the place, and about 30 minutes later everything was set in stone.
excitement rushed through your body as you packed, making sure to tuck your matching sets beneath your clothes. he deserved some type of reward, right?
when you finally arrived at your hotel, late into the night, jet-lagged to all hell, you couldn't help but ask ekko if he needed some help. he did everything, all you did was walk around, complain about your feet hurting a bit, and cling to his arm. regardless, he insisted you worried about nothing and just got comfy for the night because he had something big planned tomorrow.
never would you have ever guessed that you'd end up on a cruiser yacht.
he had you blindfolded after you returned to the hotel from eating and shopping, promising that you'd love it and that you just needed to be patient and trust him. you did; no hesitation there.
and once he slipped it off after your minor freak-out wondering what you're stepping onto that has to be so wobbly, it took your breath away.
the sun sinks below the horizon, yellow rays glittering off of the water. your hands met his, perched on your hips, looking back to find his prideful grin.
"ekko..." you pout.
"iii know, i'm a great boyfriend, you love me, i know," he jokes, chuckling as you walk around the cockpit, marveling the fact that you're on one. "it'll leave soon, there's a cooler with drinks, and i can take pictures for you."
you smile wide. "my personal photographer. in fact, take some of me right now before the sun sets," you rush to hand him your phone, quickly posing yourself in front of the scene.
ekko took taking photos for you so seriously, genuinely telling you how to switch your posing and expression, and without missing a beat always hyping you up to the third degree.
so when you heard nothing from ekko, no 'oooh's or 'mhm's, you turned to him.
"ekko?"
"sorry, you're just..." he laughs sheepishly, avoiding your gaze as if he wasn't the key to your heart. "so pretty."
you roll your eyes. "you're so corny."
the tone of your voice completely betrayed your words, honeyed and bashful. he catches it, shaking his head and raising the camera again.
"right—okay, let's try this again."
.:*☆
the pictures came out great. you wanted to wait until you got home to pick your favorites to post, but all of them were so good that you didn't know which one to pick.
you leaned against the railing, staring out into deep night, city lights twinkling in the distance. the cool sea breeze rushes against your skin, the salty scent of the ocean flooding around you. it was too good of an opportunity to not take more.
"ekko, take a few more for me?"
he hums, not a moment of protest, finding your phone and settling into the seat opposite of you.
you take your seat as well, your torso twisted and legs crossed. his mouth opens—'move your leg a little' rests on his tongue, until he inspects your gaze through the phone. you weren't quite looking at the camera, but rather...behind it.
"you okay?"
you nod. "yeah...you look good as fuck over there."
he fumbles over his words for a moment, looking down at his attire. "in my spiderman shirt?"
"mhm, especially in your spiderman shirt," you look him up and down, eyes sliding over his muscles. "come back over here real quick?"
he's surprised he didn't trip from how quickly he scrambled over to you, sitting in the seat beside you. his smile is poorly hidden as you crawl into his lap. his hands find your waist, pulling you closer.
you direct his face up, fingers gently pushing at his chin, leaning down to lock your lips together.
his hands roam your body—clearly too impatient—fingers pushing beneath your shirt, pulling up and revealing your bra. intricate lace, almost in a floral pattern, dyed a dusty pink that was barely visible under the moonlight. the cups had a deep cut, plunging down from your collar bone to the bottom of your sternum with a dainty little decorative bow.
you literally feel him getting hard. he looks up, fingers running along the band. "this for me?"
"sure is." you nod, reaching down to tug your skirt down. the hem of your matching panties peek out. "you like 'em?"
"do i?" he glances above the short barrier at the captain, who isn't paying an ounce of attention. just humming in his own world, only focused on the path they were going on. perfect.
"shit..." his lips reconnect with yours before trailing down, sucking hickies into your skin, tightly squeezing your thighs, brows furrowing.
you can already tell he's going to find a way to seat you right on his face so you stop him—not because you don't want that, but you've been spoiled enough for one day—pushing his shoulders back and getting off of him.
he looked like a kicked puppy when you separated from him and you just roll your eyes, sinking down onto your knees with a wide smile. it all connects for him and he relaxes against the seat, lips parting as you quickly unbutton his pants, your nail hooking at the band of his trunks. you tug, down, down, down, until his dick springs free and lightly taps his naval.
you waste no time, your lips meeting the base, then parting to let your tongue run up a vein that lead you to the sensitive tip.
ekko shivers, eyes shifting from the arch in your back to your lips, leaving glossy stamps all along his length.
you, on the other hand, kept your eyes locked onto his. he kept averting his gaze. for what, you weren't sure. but you tapped his tip against your tongue, capturing his attention. finally, his eyes meet yours. now you feel like you can continue.
you kiss the tip again, smiling up at him as you allow it to breach your lips, sliding into your mouth agonizingly slow.
"fuuuck," he drags, watching you slowly sink down, taking almost all of it yet stopping where your lips met your fingers.
you get acquainted with the feeling, adjusting your tongue to press against the skin. your cheeks hollow, your head slowly falling into a bobbing movement, stroking him alongside your movements.
he struggles to not thrust straight up into your mouth, gripping the edge of the leather cushions. one hand meets the back of your head but doesn't push or pull, just rests there.
his hips twitch, torso relaxing against the back of the seat, growing rigid whenever your tongue ran across just the right spot. his chest rises and falls rapidly, quickly drawing in breaths then moaning them right out.
your jaw already started to ache, but looking up at him as he falls apart from just your mouth is beyond worth it. he shakes his head, eyes leaving yours, squeezing shut, and you can tell he's already close.
his hand leaves your head, forearm laying against his forehead. you tap him, a reminder. look at me. he peeks down, a breathy chuckle pushing through.
"doin' so good for me, yeah? 'm close—" he warns you—you nod in acknowledgment.
you unhinge your jaw, sticking your tongue out so he can watch his cum spill all over it,
he sucks air in through his teeth, and before you know it you're bent over the seat, looking out onto the horizon. you start to speak and he just shushes you, tugging your skirt up and pulling your panties to the side. soaked.
maybe you were just too impatient, because before he could even get comfortable you were reaching back to put it in. his laugh rings behind you, shooing your hand away so he can finish sinking all the way inside you.
his pelvis meets your ass and you almost caught a glimpse of the back of your skull. he started slow, gripping your waist and bringing you back to meet his strokes.
you're squeezing around him so tight, and all he can do is stare in awe at it. his length glistens, coated in your juices. then he couldn't take it, his pace quickening, watching the fat of your ass recoil against his movements.
it feels euphoric, almost unreal. staring out into the night sky, stars twinkling above you, ocean swaying below you, and ekko thrusting into your heat, moaning behind you—it was overwhelming, it had your flesh running hot.
"feels good?" he questions, though your gasps and mewls answer loud and clear.
"fuck, yes."
"mhm, you're mine, right?"
"a-all yours." you nod.
"all mine?" he asks, and it's rhetorical. not like you could reply anyway, because your moans caught in your throat, rendering any chance you had at words useless.
your noises drowned beneath the whirring of the motor paired with the water swaying beneath you, which you're endlessly grateful for. you're lucky that driver pays almost no attention to what's happening behind him.
you were especially loud, and it only got worse as you felt your orgasm building. ekko knew it too, the way your voice shook, the way you tightened around him, the way you begged him not to stop—it was pushing him over the edge too.
"fuck, that's it. just like that. i got you, okay? good."
your cries overlap ekko's softer groans as you came, your form trembling, jolts of pleasure coursing throughout your body as he fucked you through it.
he had to hold back from coming inside you, letting you ride out your high before pulling out to release all over your back.
he gives you no time to recover, immediately diving in for another round, intoxicated with the way you gasps caught in your throat, holding onto the seat for dear life.
he leans down, his lips meeting your shoulder, his brows furrowed. it did not take long for the two of you to get close again, still sensitive from your previous release. within a few minutes, your juices coat his length and another load lands on your back, seeping down and settling into the dip of your spine.
you're both catching your breath, ekko presses a kiss to the shell of your ear, and you have to stop him from kissing you more. "we're almost there," you hiss, and he huffs, lifting off of you to get himself together,
thank god there were paper towels on board. he cleans his release off of your back and skirt, managing to get the both of your appearances together by the time the yacht met the docks.
the moment the captain comes back to thank you for riding with him, ekko's giving him the quickest thank you possible along with his tip and rushing you off of the boat.
"let's get back to the room? i just wanna see that set you have on a little better."
you know that the second that door closes behind you in the hotel, there is not a chance you'll be stopping.
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pssst!: not the most confident in this one.,. i will make up for this one i swear 😔 locking in!
maybe a part 2 with what happens at the hotel cough cough
#arcane x reader#ekko x reader#ekko x you#arcane ekko#arcane x you#arcane smut#arcane x reader smut#ekko smut#ekko x fem reader#Spotify
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hey guys i just finished drafting foreign birds 😎👍 i cannot believe its already done that happened stupidly fast (even though its literally been almost a year)
#54k words!!#i love this book but im excited to be done#sorry for forgetting to make updates after the first few chapters that was unintentional#i might make a vague update for the whole rest of the book at some point to just kind of summarize everything
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oh noooo or whatever
bonus aka The Real Motive Behind This:
SURPRISE double bonus. textless ver of the first pic under the cut
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#guys i drew cherik after walking to the comic shop to see official cherik omg .....#context if needed: in like. issue 17-18 of the og run magneto hijacks the x mansion and sets up The Mental Wave Distorter trap#and unfortunately the second i saw it i knew what i had to do because I Cannot Be Salvaged#tbh this was suppoesd to be moooorrreee 2011 Yaoi Doujin Core but clakjkl i like it like this way i fear#i was gonna put dialogue bubbles for the first pic but like that a lot. even tho i did post a textless ver Bro My Head Hurts#this was also supposed to be quick and thats why its in a limbo of Effort Was Made and I Held Back#because after the sketch i realized i wanted to lock in. sort of 💀 still like it tho !!!!!!#more importantly dont take me to comic shops all ima do is think of ship art to make later !!!!!#on that note tho i did have a silly giggle to myself when i saw the resurrection of magneto#like it was the silliest reaction i felt like a dog jlvkjavlka#i also found another magneto-centered run im excited bout ...... both sets were missing One book so im gonna scream but moving on#uhhhh ok im done here. my heads been hurting all day i hope its nothing serious#whats funny is that i actually planned to draw movie cherik today but alas. plans were changed#theres always tomorrow !!!!!!!!! i love you tomorrow .....#bye bye im going to bed
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I quit my job and my last day was today!
I am so excited to begin something new and to let go of the old! I'm hoping to make some art these next couple weeks, so please feel free to send me any suggestions or requests. I definitely have time to spare to draw now haha
#peachmoths talk tag#i could fill a book about my old job and everything that happened there but im so happy to be done and home and onto better things#dont get me wrong i LOVED my job but there was a brief window it made living really hard#i also think that finally getting out of my abusers control and away from the two has helped me a lot too#im excited for what the future holds for me i really am
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The Darkling by @thisisoffyourbird is all bound!! It’s HUGE (1400 pages!!!)!
Look at them all next to each other!!
This was my first attempt at book binding, and it was so much fun!!
#also I love the label I made for it!!#makes it look so fancy#she’s beautiful 🥹#now I’ve done the 4 from OffYourBird that I wanted which means it’s time to bind some from sunalso next!!#im gonna end up with just a whole bookcase with spuffy fanfiction and I am very excited#spuffy#buffy x spike#buffy#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs#spike btvs#book binding#fan fiction#offyourbird
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Hey I'm graduating college in may and I just kinda realized that I'll be Done Done with school after that. Not fake-done like I was graduating high school, where I'd have to go to college at the start of the fall. And not fake-done like I was in any of my semesters I took off.
Done Done. As in I accomplished my degree, and I won't ever have to go back to school if I don't want to. What a beautiful, beautiful thought.
#speculation nation#i enjoy learning but not in school. school is the soul killer. there's a reason it's taking me 10 years to get my bachelors.#failed classes and switched majors and part time school (so i could work and pay my way thru) and semesters taken off...#for 9 and a half years now it's been a fucking shadow hanging over my head.#just gotta keep going just gotta persevere. slow and steady wins the race.#and well im nearly there now. holy fuck tho i didnt miss full time school lmfao#i went to part time a few years back to save my fuckin self bc it was just *impossible* to do full time school And work to support myself.#and even part time school plus a job was horrible. but i did it anyways.#and here i am now with my lovely life insurance from my awful paternal death. life sure happens as it will huh.#which will let me complete school in a neat 10 years. graduated high school in 2015 and college in 2025. wild.#not glad my dad died but im grateful that ive gotten this opportunity afterwards.#sure is strange the ways life goes.#anyways yeah im in deadlines hell rn with all these fucking projects but ONCE I FINISH THEM#i will be done with this semester. my second to last semester.#theyre releasing class schedules today for next semester too and im a little antsy. cant edit until next week regardless#but i wanna KNOWWWWW what i got. best case scenario i get my 3 classes i need to graduate#plus my orchestra and bowling. so i have a full 12 credit hours. to be full time still.#im scared of not having gotten 3 classes bc theyre selectives yea so i dont need These classes Specifically#but also it'll be a pain in my fucking ass if i have to go scrounging. and i wanna have my first choices...#but we'll see. i selected several fall-through options and i dont need any single specific class to graduate.#so long as i have 3... thatll be enough...#AUGHHHHH college!!!! im almost done!!!!! i might get straight As this semester!!!!!! exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to email my professor about setting up the book meeting lol. i should do that today.
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Do you think some Mikado citizens ever figured out they could get their original works published as long as they threw King Aquila in there somewhere? And how much of it was actually fanfiction about Aquila, Mikado's state-designated blorbo? It'd be really funny if Aquila also got "and he'll return in Mikado's darkest hour" like King Arthur. Like technically he did!
@thonkphonk
OK......... THE FAERIE QUEENE IS AN INTEREST OF MINE. I read Books 3 and 4 for a class called 'Violence and Romance in Renaissance Literature'. We spent a lot of time on it, because iirc the only other thing we read in the class at all was some Shakespeare. So it was actually mostly a class on the Faerie Queen books 3 and 4 lol (and all of my papers were on the Faerie Queene instead of Shakespeare lol).
The whole deal with the Faerie Queene is that the titular Queene is the goal of King Arthur's quest, and yet Arthur himself only has cameos in the stories because he is the 'main plot' where all the books have different main characters (and focuses on elaborating on various virtues that each main knight upholds--Arthur is the perfect knight, who extols all virtues, whereas all the characters in the books exist to define specific virtues--ex: Britomart represents Chastity, Artegall represents Justice, etc). And Spenser never actually finished the Faerie Queene, which is why Arthur's quest never gets full attention.
To apply this to SMTIV would be extremely fun.
Absolutely I could see so many stories about King Aquila's times. Especially since Mikado is trapped in this sort of medieval stone-age ('holy times' as viewed by angels) so its not even like stories about Aquila would be dated, it would be so easy to write stories of modern times with Aquila present. Or, even easier, would be his inclusion in these 'fairy-stories' the Luxurors know.
Aquila means so much to people despite having lived so long ago, I would assume his knights are known the same way Arthur's are (with people inventing new knights all the time, as with Arthurian legends as well). So people would toss Aquila into all this often while writing their own stories about the various knights (with a focus on those knights because, like Arthur's presentation in the Faerie Queene, Aquila would be the 'perfect' character, meaning that the stories are more interesting if they can be about the flaws of the others).
But 100% Aquila would always come in to save the day, or to approve of the resolution the story reaches, etc. I am so on board with that idea.
That being said, this would mean the angels likely erase much of this when they take over Mikado, Aquila' name remains on the Obelisk, but his statue is destroyed, so I imagine many of these books are just straight up burned. A few would survive though, less objectionable ones,but the angels hate the influence Aquila still has on the people, and how he is still venerated.
Also you are SO RIGHT about the 'once and future' thing. Like. This has no support in the game because the game is so nebulous about Nanashi's birth, but I do somewhat theorize he was born in Mikado? He's literally just found in Sky Tower, so I'm like, okay was he born there and brought down somehow? I would KILL to know anything about this because like. Ok, they found a baby. How did they find him? In the hands of a demon, dead humans, or just like, on the ground? Hello? Can I have some information please?
But I've always assumed Nanashi was born in Mikado and then SOMETHING was a reason for him to be carried below, and then discovered. Because like. we don't even know why the HUNTERS were in Sky Tower--most people knew about Medusa back then and wouldn't want to go, and people even assume Medusa works for Tayama (which is false--I theorize she worked for Akira but that isn't confirmed anywhere). but if people just assumed the Sky Tower was controlled by the Ashura-kai, I don't know why anyone would approach--they KNOW Medusa kills everyone up there.
and Nanashi of course is randomly discovered after Medusa is there, he's only born well after Akira establishes Mikado, so the Hunters have long-withdrawn from Sky Tower and like. what. is happening.
But yeah a prophecy about Aquila's return and somehow that also including the need for Nanashi to go below rather than above, there's some sect of people somewhere that know something, this is just, one of those many holes left open in the SMTIV world. so we are free to make theories and headcanons and I am so with it.
Thank you for sending this, this was so fun omg. I went on a bit of a ramble.
#shitpost#ok sorry you unlocked faerie queene excitement there#i have books 3 and 4 in one collection on my bookshelf#also Spenser never finished the Faerie Queene like. king shit really.#Arthur's quest is just ongoing background to the rest of everything#also. the Faerie Queene was written as a sort of weird funky fan letter to Queen Elizabeth with SO many allegories and references to her#and like its implied Britomart is directly related to her and like theres so much going on like. there's a layer of analysis here#of like. Spenser was totally a bit in love with his patron and here's an interpretation of Faerie Queene with that lens#it was one of the points we discussed a LOT in the class but it isn't one I looked into too deeply#I was too focused on Britomart and Chastity themes. and Amoret and Scudamour and just all that's happening in Book 3 and Book 4#also if you take why the Faerie Queene was written and apply that to SMTIV that means like#someone is in love with the current King and is just dedicating this fairy-story style poem about Aquila to him lol#OK IM DONE RAMBLING#also putting this in my#smtiv replay#tag though
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Books of 2023. VILLAINS by V. E. Schwab.
Time for a NaNo Prep Reread! I love Victor and this vicious little family with my whole chest. This'll be my second time rereading VICIOUS, but only my first time rereading VENGEFUL.
#books of 2023#villains#vicious#vengeful#ve schwab#books#book photography#seriously i love these so much#shades of magic was good but vicious as my heart lol#vicious held up on the first reread a few years ago so im excited to dissect it for the Revenge Arc this time#i feel vaguely bad because i remember nothing about marcella but. tbf. how could i when victor and sydney and mitch are RIGHT there#also this is just. so much better. than hench....#i finished hench at three o'clock this morning just to be Done#the pacing was Messy™ and it didn't get better#definitely brutal and fucked up (that body horror at the end was epic actually) but. overall mediocre for me....#parts did make me laugh and i'm love the spreadsheets take but. i couldn't get over the pacing#WHICH AGAIN I KNOW IS RICH COMING FROM ME#sigh#anyway i read the first scene this afternoon but now i'm gonna watch nate wreaking havoc in heist fambly while my laundry goes#and THEN bedtime reading
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you
#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that#will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo#$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive#and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started#anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean#and i am just so sad right now#and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun#not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course#i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as#breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage#i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard#i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade#and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that#:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything
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Wait is her psychiatrist Hannibal?!?!
Hey!! Something like that 🙂 her psychiatrist is heavily inspired by Hannibal.
I really enjoyed Silence of the Lambs and the Hannibal series and movies. I haven't read the books which I really should. But I am super interested in Hannibal as a character. I'm also a firm enjoyer of the cannibal trope as both a metaphor for love but also exploitation of power/ego.
Shes a redhead with a 70s blowout. Think curtain bangs but this is another image that is very her energy.
Amulya's psychiatrist is a woman by the name of Milana Spezia Deodato. She is an Italian woman that originates from a family of werewolf hunters. From a young age she was raised to be a hunter and it caused her to develop some peculiar behaviors and habits as a result. On the outside though, she is a very intelligent woman who at most seems a little eccentric and polite but snooty. She is also known as a very good cook! She was hired in the 1970s by Hellsing via a recommendation l from Sir Islands.
In my lore, I have it as Islands beinf part of the roundtable but his family owns and runs hospitals. Milana did her years of residency at one of the hospitals that the Islands operated. She obviously made an impression with the family and Islands himself for her background in monster hunting and how she was researching how to apply it to her field of psychiatry. Islands suggested her to Arthur for a new department of Hellsing that was focused in rehabilitating individuals who had experienced encounters with the supernatural. This was in hopes of keeping the operations of Hellsing from the public more and that people could return to normalcy in an easier fashion. Some people who have those experiences never exactly recover.
For Milana, she was given people to research and treat, while she got a good paycheck. But it also gave her plenty of food. Her cannibal habits are not known by anyone in Hellsing(aside from Walter ofc but listennn). Anybody she takes are simply seen as having fallen in battle and missing. She was always very good at covering her tracks.
Arthur handing Amulya to her was out of desperation because realistically, Amulya couldn't express the worries she had to any psychiatrist. It would put Hellsing at risk. Additionally, it gave Amulya someone in-house to talk to. If she had an episode, she always had immediate support through someone with actual experience and licensing.
Amulya came to rely on her and was being treated properly for some time. Many of her lapses was due to her own spiraling.
Milana had varying thoughts on her. She found her intriguing and a good ticket to get a look at what Arthur is like behind closed doors. She found herself very entertained by her dynamic between Amulya and Walter. She knew of his feelings from observing them both. It wasn't neccesarily wanting to match them up but more that she was interesting in seeing what would happen. The possibilities, the reactions of them all. She did eventually get bored of the situation. Milana did know Amulya was going to commit suicide before it occurred. It was how it affect Arthur, Walter, and anyone else in the organization. She got what she wanted, though she was out under alot of pressure by Arthur after the fact but Amulya's death was seen as her mental state getting the better of her.
After one of her attempts, Milana did start doing sessions with Walter. It was a conflict of interest but they couldn't exactly afford anyone outside of the organization. Their sessions was ordered by Arthur so Walter couldn't exactly refuse. Walter was never a fan of her. She had a habit of prodding anyone she talked to so he felt like he was always under a microscope. He never wanted to be analyzed while all she wanted to do was analyze him. Milana knew he was involved in an organization separate from Hellsing while he found out she was a murderer and cannibal. He was disgusted with her despite his own actions. Really they were two fucked up individuals that found a messed up but hesitant (on Walter's side) kinship with one another.
Milana remains in Hellsing till after the battle of London where she moves to America for a new start and new roster of meals.
Her and Walter's dynamic is this:
#hellsing#hellsing ultimate#hellsing oc#walter c dornez#walter dornez#amulya hellsing#hellsing organization#Milana Deodato#yall caught me on the hannibal stuff#her office actually has a tonnof fairytale books#she has a weird love for them and often uses them for allusion and helping people understand their experiences#i might go into more of her past but its supposed to be kinda mysterious#her philosophy regarding cannibwlism is basically#“if they can eat us then it should only be natural for me”#she sees herself as honestly more human than the majority of people#paet of why she is still human!#she has never given that up but she sees herself as above people#thank u for the ask!😭💖#im honestly so excited i got to talk about her#walter hates talking to her lmfao#there are big differences between her and hannibal#milana has never really cared deeply for anyone unlike how hannibal had his sister#also she did a ton of experimental treatments on ammy#girl has done some mushroom tea
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Book three hurt, but not as much as I thought. The only reason is probably because there is still a LOT of hurt in the next two books.
Im worried about how sad its gonna get.
#I CANNOT believe I have finished book three#im practically almost done with the series#I LOVE this series and don’t want it to end#luckily i actually have to read the books to finish them#which will take time#so its not over yet#im excited and scared for what is to come#and then I still have BOTH of the shows#im really excited for those as well#grand master of demonic cultivation#mdzs
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i wanna read a book!!!!!!!!!
#hoping i’ll find the time to read the next few days#idk what yet though…#have a lot of books im really excited about but i wanna save them until i’m done with uni exams#don’t hold me to it in case i fail miserably but i do wanna read war and peace 👀#it’s so long though. which is fun i love long books. but it’s also such a commitment#anyways. i love books <3
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every yr we get closer to darkness of dragons . ...... every year.
#AND NEXT IS TURTLE ! ! ! ! ! ! YEAHHHHAHAHAHHAHAH i love u turtle book#im so excited tho it feels like its been so fast i rember waiting for brightest night to be done and like#finding out they even started making the gns its so cool#yeeyeeyeyey#wof#he speaks
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