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dragonanon · 4 months ago

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Y’all I need Jesus 😭 My mind is running wild with an idea that’s a bit of Hellaverse and One Piece crossover.

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As a succubus working under Asmodeus, your job is to basically portal up to the human world and spread lust amongst the humans. You’re damn good at your job as evidenced by the fact that your numbers always exceed the minimum quota you’re given, so as one of the top employees you have the privilege of getting to be much closer with Asmodeus and Fizzaroli than most other demons working for them; they’re honestly more like father figures to you rather than your superiors, and you welcome being their lowkey unofficially adopted daughter.

Between your excellent work performance and the love and support of your unofficial dads, life is pretty damn easy and straightforward for you…until it isn’t.

You don’t know how the hell it happened, you had been in human disguise on Earth and drumming up some nice lust in a small village, literally just doing you job as normal. Your markvictim, a slim blond with facial hair, had been one of the EASIEST people to ensnare in a long time. You barely had to say “hello” before the man already had hearts in his eyes and was practically falling at your feet, and when you invited him to go someplace private for a bit of “fun”, he damn near died on the spot due to blood loss from a massive nosebleed. Needless to say, you quickly had him in bed and oozing with yummy lust for you.

From there it all happened so fast(let’s be real here, it was probably Luffy’s fault lol), one thing led to another and after a series of shenanigans, your true form and identity are revealed to a group of humans, a group of pirates to be exact…Sure you knew that taking such an easy target would have SOME consequence, but fuck man!

Now standing before the “straw hat pirates”, as they call themselves, in your true demonic form with horns, wings, and tail all out for the whole world to see, you’re stared at in a cocktail mixture of awe, fear, and curiosity by all these humans. With the uncomfortable silence hanging in the air, you feel more naked and vulnerable than you ever have been in your entire life. And as a succubus, that’s saying quite a lot!

You’re in quite the predicament here, and your fear only grows as you realize just how completely and utterly fucked you are here. You can’t just fuck off back to Hell when there’s a whole gaggle of humans running around that now knows about the existence of Demons and Hell, but you can’t exactly kill any of them either. Not just because you’re SEVERELY outnumbered, but you’d ALSO get into some pretty deep shit with your dads.

So that leaves you with one option, offer a deal and hope to Lucifer that they accept. With that plan in mind, a green haired man you’d later come to know as “Zoro”, FINALLY breaks the agonizing silence with a simple question; “What the fuck are you?” and with that, you get to work setting this admittedly ridiculous plan into motion.

As calmly as you can, you explain that you’re a succubus; a demon from Hell just here to do her job of getting people to be horny on main. From there, you explain the predicament you’re all in right now, how you can’t just leave them to their devices because they all know, and have seen too much now. They all seem to tense for a moment as one of them, a man with a long nose who you’d later know as “Usopp”, asks in a shaky voice if you’re going to kill them now. They all breathe a sigh of relief and Usopp actually sobs when you clarify that no, that’s not happening. “I couldn’t kill you all even if I wanted to. Not only do you have me completely outnumbered, but even if I did succeed somehow, it would land me in MAJOR hot water with my bosses. So yeah, I’m not doing that.”

A red headed woman who later introduced herself as “Nami”, responds by asking what it is you plan to do then. This whole time, you’ve noticed that she’s been eyeing the hell out of your Asmodean crystal; a huge magenta jewel set in the center of a beautiful golden cuff that encases nearly half of your left forearm. It was a gift from Asmodeus himself on your first day of work, and it hasn’t left your arm since. You know damn well what the glint of greed in one’s eyes looks like, and you’re all too happy to use that to your advantage.

“Well, given that I can’t leave you all alone and death isn’t an option, I’d like to make a proposal; You all keep your mouths shut about what you’ve seen and learned, and let me continue my work as needed and in peace. You’re not to utter even a peep to another soul not already in this room. In exchange…You’ll have a succubus eternally at your service~”

This prompts the captain who you’ve been told is named “Luffy”, an admittedly boyishly cute man in your humble opinion, to speak up and ask what exactly you mean. Up to this point, he’d just been staring at you in slack jawed awe, but your proposal seemed to bring him back to reality and now he had to sate his growing curiosity and excitement.

A playful smirk paints itself on your black lips as you begin to elaborate, your fangs poking out ever so slightly as you speak. “Well hon, being a succubus, I have MANY powers at my disposal~ You’ve already seen that I can disguise myself as one of you humans, AND charm my way into getting whatever I want from humans. But that’s BARELY scratching the surface of what I’m capable of~ For starters, I can change my disguise as I see fit, what you all saw was just one of the millions of different appearances I can take.” To back up this claim, you quickly cycle through a few different human disguises you’ve used throughout the years; completely changing your form into at least 12 completely different women of all different shapes, sizes, and races. With your point having been made, you shift back to your Demon form and continue.

“That combined with my charming powers means I can EASILY spy and obtain any information you want~ But more than that, I can INSTANTLY take you anywhere you could possibly want.”

That last bit seemed to really pique everyone’s interest, especially Luffy’s; his eyes sparkled with curiosity and excitement as he asked you how that was possible.

“Time to make the hard sale here.” You think to yourself. With a smile, you raise your left arm and with a flourish of your right hand, show off your Asmodean crystal. You have to bite back a laugh as Luffy audibly “oohs” and “ahhs” at the glowing magenta stone while Nami practically salivates over it.

“With this lovely thing right here~ This bad boy is an Asmodean crystal; a mystical jewel bestowed upon me as a succubus working for Asmodeus. With it, I can open a direct portal to ANYWHERE in Hell AND the Human world~”

Zoro is quick to call bullshit, but you’re more than willing to prove otherwise as you respond by asking for a destination, anywhere in the entire world. The green haired man huffs in amusement, and sarcastically suggests an island clear on the other side of the world.

Smirking, you hold your crystal clad arm up close you and with quick, firm, rub of your right hand, the crystal glows brightly and suddenly shoots out a bright beam of light that stops just shy of hitting the wall before a large, diamond shaped portal appears. The edges of the portal glow brightly and the aforementioned island is now CLEARLY visible to everyone in the room.

With a shit eating grin, you strut up to Zoro, who seems bewildered by what he’s seeing as gets up close to check out the portal. With a giggle, you give him a hearty shove, causing him to fall through with a shout and you hop through after him, completely ignoring the concerned shouts of the remaining crew as the portal snaps shut behind you, blinking out of existence like it was never there to begin with.

The room devolves into chaos, with Luffy whining about how it’s not fair that he didn’t get to go too, while Nami yells at him for not being more concerned about Zoro just disappearing.

After a few minutes, the portal reappears with a flash, and out of it hops you followed closely by a noticeably paler Zoro, much to Sanji’s disappointment. The portal disappears again whilst Zoro goes to sit down, and just says “She’s not fucking joking, she really CAN go anywhere.”

The room erupts into chaos again, this time however, Luffy is practically on top of you, demanding you join his crew right now.

You’re a bit taken aback, you’d expected you’d have to list at least a LITTLE more of what you’re capable of to win them over, but this was not an unwelcome surprise in the slightest.

“Are you sure you’re willing to accept my proposition so quickly? I haven’t even finished telling you what all I can-“

Luffy interrupts you before you can finish your sentence saying that there’d be plenty of time for you to talk about your powers later, right now he just wants to start teleporting to different places.

You smile, fangs on full display. “Guess it’s a deal then~ It’ll be a pleasure working with y-“

You’re cut off again, this time by Luffy stretching his limbs around you in a tight hug whilst rambling about all the different places he wants to go right now.

As you’re stood in the middle of everyone buzzing with excitement and curiosity, all you can think to yourself is “What in the Seven Rings have I gotten myself into??”

#one piece x reader #luffy x reader #zoro x reader #sanji x reader #nami x reader #you’re the communal toy and magic teleporter #truly a coveted position to have lol #at some point you make the mistake of talking about the gluttony ring and now luffy is begging you to sneak him in there #so now you have to disguise everyone as succubi and incubi and take everyone on a field trip to hell #it goes about as smoothly as you’d expect #by some miracle no one finds out about them being human but there were some pretty damn close calls #needless to say you aren’t taking any of them back to hell anytime soon much to luffy’s disappointment #one piece x hellaverse #hellaverse

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gold-rhine · 1 year ago

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Inazuma Rewrite part one

This is bullet points rewrite for Inazuma general plot structure, bc I think it had so much potential, but was horrifically scuffed in game. If I keep something from canon unchanged, I’ll just say so without retelling the entire thing to keep the length down, bc it’s gonna be A LOT already.

Some disclaimers: I’m not trying to fix every single problem, just what I see as major structural failures. I will reference my problems, but you can read my explanations on them more in depth in my “inazuma ranting” tag.

This is also not envisioned as free for all fanfic where I can write whatever I want, but aimed to be actually feasible to see in game, bc it’d be unfair and I want to show that Inazuma could be improved in the same constraints that hoyo writers had. So please don’t ask why I didn’t do wildly inconsistent thing that would be cool, but genshin would never actually do.

I’m aiming to retain all relevant lore and achieve basically same worldstate in the end, including character arcs, for the most part, because I presume them to be integral to the larger strategic plotline of the game. Which means I can’t drastically change characterization and major plot beats like the decrees, rebellion, Raiden has to be a sympathetic ally in the end, etc. I’m also trying to keep genshin’s general tone and modus operandi, bc like, target audience includes 13 yolds and I can’t just “make Inazuma good” by turning it into like, a gruesome and complex power struggle of political factions like Fallout New Vegas.

List of main issues I want to address: pacing in general, rebellion pacing especially, lack of impact and continuity of effects of vision loss on people, lack of setup for the stasis vs transience aka ei vs makoto conflict, character arcs: raiden, ayaka, kazuha, kokomi, yoimiya, kujou sara. And more!

Initially I wanted to make a single post, but it’s already 3k and I’m only up to Raiden’s first duel and I plan to cover post-archon quest content too, like Raiden and Yoi story quests, so I decided to split it up instead of posting like 20k monstrosity. So remember, this is for now mostly a setup.

EDIT: Part 2

Raiden’s motivations\Reasons for vision hunt

Ok, so one of the biggest principal changes is that vision hunt and sakoku decree are active Raiden’s decisions, instead of Fatui’s plot that she’s just passively allowing to happen. Raiden closed the country, but she’s ok with Fatui starting a civil war and selling delusions, bc it doesn’t “affect eternity”, like??? I honestly think that the current plot of her people dying in a civil war meant nothing to her is much worse than her starting vision hunt decree out of misguided plan to ultimately do better for people.

I mean ok, we have to have closed borders to reference Japan’s history, sure, but like, the whole point of isolationist policies like this is to prevent the outsiders’ influence on the country. So she should not be ok with Fatui schemes at any point.

I mean, if it was fallout new vegas AU, I’d keep it to show that dictator doesn’t not care about foreign powers exploiting it’s people as long as it profits the empire and helps to keep people subjugated, but like. Then raiden can’t be uwu waifu. So we gonna give her good intentions and integrity, but misunderstanding of humanity due to closing herself off instead.

Now to why would she close the country and institute sakoku decree. I want to tie this in with another plotline that is just. Kinda floating at sidelines at the moment, but I think could work nicely in tandem. The Scaramouche destroying Raiden Gokaden, the five schools of weapon smithing, which were canonically highly valued by Raiden.

I’m not gonna recount Scara’s entire plotline, but basically he went on a misguided crusade against Raiden Gokaden and managed to cause fall of 4 out of 5 weapon-smith schools.

Game says that he like, tampered with the schools and covertly led to their ruin, which like?? They never found anyone guilty, like the most prized weapon art smiths of your country fall apart and you’re like oh well, I guess Yashiro commission is just bad at it’s job?

There is a plot point in this story where Isshin weapon smiths, unable to replicate a faulty design that was Raiden’s commission tampered by Scara, were scared of Raiden’s wrath and decided to flee to Snezhnaya. I want to change it to be that there is an event, where ALL weapon schools receive same commission at the same time, and Scara tampers with it.

Just as in canon, scared smiths, but now from 4 schools, not one, are manipulated by Fatui to flee to Snezhnaya, But we add a new NPC, the most talented blade smith who had a vision. Fatui frame him as the ring leader, as if they were running not to save their lives because of the tampered design, impossible to fulfil, but that this was a betrayal because of his ambitions.

After this, Raiden has legitimate cause to feel like her eternity is threatened. She sees weapon art schools, one of the most prized country’s traditions being ruined in a moment because of what she thinks is ambitious hubris of one vision holder, who colluded with outsiders. So she closes Inazuma and declares a vision hunt, to prevent this from ever happening again.

But ironically, in truth it was the fault of not just Fatui, but specifically a puppet without a vision that she herself created and failed to supervise. This brings the main idea of the plotline from “Fatui evil, Raiden passive” to “Solipsist goddess who doesn’t understand humanity tries to protect her people by locking them in stasis and taking their ambitions, but the real case of tragedy was her negligence and lack of empathy all along, and this is what needs to be changed.”

Interlude and plot setup

We start with similar plotline. Traveler tries to go to Inazuma, learns that it’s closed, talks to Inazuman NPC to learn more. Here we’re introduced to the general idea that Inazuma was closed off due to one traitor blade smith with a vision who sold off Raiden Gokaden to Fatui.

We go to Beidou’s tournament, which goes basically the same, we meet Kazuha and watch a beautiful cutscene about his dead friend who challenged Raiden to a duel, and now Kazuha tries to find someone who can reignite his vision. I will actually add changes to Kazuha’s storyline, but it be will later.

then we arrive to Inazuma, go through the same bureaucracy loops with Thoma on Ritou, to show the barriers to outsiders and also to illustrate how Thoma is the best fixer when he manages to drop a fee from 1 mil to like 10 gold by promising to have a dinner with government official.

But we’re cutting the second part of Ritou, with the boring plot about like merchant from Mond scamming people with the local police and then Traveler delivering love letter or whatever. I mean, we can keep this as an optional side quest, if like hoyo thinks the lore about love letter is essential for the Ayato’s quest or smth, but not as an Archon quest.

Instead, we put a part of Yoimiya’s quest there. I think Yoi’s quest is relevant enough to stay in the Archon quest, unlike Ayaka’s, but it’s slapped into a place where it ruins pacing. So instead, we’re cutting it up in parts and inserting it into main storyline.

On Ritou, while doing bureaucracy bullshit, we meet Yoimiya, and play the part of her quest about her helping a guy with a vision to escape from his former best friend, who is now a guard hunting him. It helps to show the rift that vision hunt brings not only with the outsiders, but with inside of the country as well.

Ghost of Makoto\Transience setup

another key point that I think is integral to fixing Inazuma is planting seeds for Makoto’s reveal from the start. I really like the Stasis vs Transience conflict from raiden’s second story quest, where raiden believed in eternity as lack of change, a perfect state maintained until the rest of time, while her twin Makoto believed in eternity as never-ending change, where people’s dreams constantly evolve, nature of them chasing these dreams never changes.

but it feels like it came out of nowhere and raiden just speedruns character development in like an hour, so a lot of people ended up feeling like it was just about Raiden mourning her sister, instead of raiden coming to understand makoto’s belief system and through that unlocking makoto’s final connection and then being able to let go.

so we need to first of all, introduce makoto’s ideas of transience from the start, and also empathize the conflict of them with raiden’s stasis.

and it doesn’t mean we’ll spoil the reveal about the second raiden shogun! we don’t have to ever use makoto’s name, just her title as a raiden and sprinkle her ideas throughout the land. We know hoyo area designers can do that stuff really well (guizhong’s relics being scattered all over liyue, rukkhadevata’s shadow in the aranara quest).

like, it’s strange that Makoto primarily ruled and shaped country by herself while Ei was just a warrior, yet we do not have Makoto’s influence visible. We need to add ideas of transience into fundamentals of Inazuma,

“Transience is the dream of the nation of thunder. We find the greatest joys in mortal life in fleeting dreams, for is life itself not like the shadow of the thunder? Pursue your dreams into the clouds if you wish, and enjoy the unexpected silence of the dim lamp-lit nights.” - Guide to Transience talent book.

add these ideas all over the place, esp near sakura. And let’s draw player’s attention a couple of times specifically to the internal contradiction of these ideas of transience being integral to inazuma and raiden’s current hatred of change.

like, we need even 13 yolds and twitch streamers to remember this, so lets make paimon say like

“Huh, this shrine to raiden shogun says that eternity is the pursuit of fleeting dreams, but doesn’t raiden shogun fucking hates dreams?? I wonder, what made her change her mind about them to the total opposite!“

this and more subtle puzzles\locations with focus on transience for people who pay more attention will add the much needed setup for makoto’s reveal

Kamisato siblings

ok, first things first, Ayato being absent without any explanation while his little sister is plotting treason and his malewife Thoma is about to be executed on the streets is unacceptable.

like I know it’s marketing or whatever and he’s not being released but we need his model, hoyo. If we 200% CAN’T have his model, we need to come up with solid excuse why he’s not here. Like idk, he’s helping the war refugees or smth

And we need hints at his presence\influence throughout the story. Like oh, here’s group of refugees who were helped by Yashiro commissioner, they are relocating to new homes, I guess Ayato is really busy. Oh, here is Fatui’s camp where everyone is slaughtered and boba tea cups are littered around, I wonder what is up with that.

and also, Ayaka is organizing resistance behind his back, and we never meet him bc Ayaka actively tries to hide traveler from him.

bc like, Ayaka doesn’t have a development arc in archon quest. She’s just kind of there, being perfect. Like in her story quest that hoyo makes you do at gun point, you like, go on a date, learn that she’s lonely and has trouble connecting with people due to the pressure of having to project an image of perfection and societal distance, do an investigation to uncover her late mother’s fox fursona roleplay diary which she used to cope her with own societal pressure. Which like. Ok, sure, but but this wet socks quest is not an archon quest material. It should be just a normal story quest.

no, Ayaka’s real conflict is wanting to prove herself to her brother, bring real difference to the world. This is her ambition, she literally gained her vision while fighting Ayato in a training, she wanted to show him that she’s strong enough to handle responsibility, he named her Shirasagi Himegimi after she won that fight

but during a civil war, watching people suffer, her role as a cultural figurehead is not enough. She wants to help, but she’s afraid to act, because this will undermine Yashiro Commission and her brother worked so hard to build it back up after Raiden Gokaden fall. so she organizes resistance behind her brother’s back in secret, to help, but without compromising Kamisato name

this basically tracks with what happens in game, but we spell it out and expand on this later.

Getting Traveler to help

next, let’s throw out the weird edging introduction where traveler is not allowed to see Ayaka the first time. like??? bro, we’re friends with 2 archons and heads of their governments, you’re not that important. and it can’t be to protect her identity, bc like. You go to Kamisato estate! You’re told who she is! If you wanted to betray her, that would be enough already.

another awkward thing is that Traveler, who agrees to do every stupid quest they meet, suddenly refuses to help the resistance.

I think we should reframe their convo a little, like Traveler says hey I’d love to help, but my primary goal is to get info about my sibling from an Archon, so I don’t want to go against her.

To which Ayaka says oh, I totally get you, you see, I am myself a culture figurehead and a nominal princess and I can’t speak up against the decree, bc that will hurt Yashiro Commission. But I’m not asking you to fight Raiden Shogun in a duel or smth, I’m just asking you to help people with the resistance, which we do totally in secret. No one will know! Also, how are you going to see Raiden? She’s locked up and doesn’t appear in public. But my big brother is a head of the Commission, if anyone can get you an audience, it’s him. So help me help people and I will ask him to help you see Shogun!

she secretly believes that after traveler sees ppl suffering, they will change their mind and help willingly, same as in canon, but she’s more subtle about it

Rebellion connection

my other problem with vision hunt is that the 3 quests they force you to do about meeting people who lost their visions are like. not good. The concept is interesting, but they are just kinda boring and meandering. They lack dramatic impact. They could do better. So we’re not doing these 3 quests rn, but don’t worry about it, we will get to the effects of vision loss

Instead, ayaka sends us to help Yoimiya and we do the same quest we do in archon quest - help her to free someone from prison dungeon. It goes the same, we get to the dude being mistreated by cops, Kujou Sara steps up and lets us go

But then it’s like, we need to get this dude out of Inazuma city. Cops know he escaped! They will just come for him again! There is only one place that will take him and it’s the watatsumi rebels.

Common complaint about Inazuma is that other countries feel like found families and Inazuma doesn’t, bc characters from resistance and rebellion basically don’t interact, and it’s true. And like, we can get them together! Thoma knows Kazuha, Kazuha knows Gorou, Gorou in canon went to recoinsanse missions to Narukami island.

So, Gorou visits the tea house to pick up the Vision Dude, and the gang has the hotpot meet up. Everyone is there (except Kokomi bc ok hoyo, we’re saving up for dramatic battle reveal, and i think her reveal would fuck up banner schedule). Ayaka, Thoma, Yoimiya, Kazuha, Gorou. and Teppei! Who is here bc he was recruited by Gorou. He’s actually from Narukami island, not Watatsumi, and he had nothing to do with visions, but he’s an idealist, he believes in freedom, so he joined rebellion. fun times are had, Ayaka tries to play srs bsns lady host, but breaks into giggling at The Shenanigans, Gorou is overly polite but adorable and apologizes to Ayaka about The Shenanigans in which everyone but him participates, Yoi is a life of party and the Shenanigans and later has to be bodily stopped by Kazuha from organizing fireworks right here, right now, Thoma and Teppei both get sick from eating Ayaka’s nasty cakes that she threw into soup, bc Thoma is just into oral stuff and Teppei is so earnest and eager to prove himself and impress ppl, haha comic relief, look how sweet and funny this guy is and all characters get along so great with him

bc like, I think Teppei has a problem of a) not having enough screen time b)not having any interesting characterization moments to make him stand out 3)not having other playable and already likeable characters interact with him

so this scene can serve not only to bring that “unlikely bunch of people becoming friends and working together” connection to life, but also to endear Teppei to the players

Vision Loss Effects\ Yoimiya and Thoma

ok, next Ayaka asks Traveler to do that one quest about martial arts master losing their vision. I think it’s the one quest from 3 about vision loss with most drama, but the real reason is that it introduces Yae Miko and we need to do this before leaving for the rebellion. Like, in theory, it could be switched to another, better quest that lets us meet Yae Miko, but honestly, this is not one of Inazuma archon quest problems so I can’t be arsed. Feel free to imagine a cooler intro instead.

when we go back to tea house, we learn that Yoimya’s vision has been taken away. She has been recognized in that last prison raid and the guards came for her later, and she didn’t fight bc there were kids and her old father around.

She’s completely changed. Her innate optimism, her belief in people and their dreams has been drained from her like a sunshine from a dark cellar. But she’s still Yoimiya!! She came here to warn you bc she still cares even if she had her own joy taken from her. She tries to smile and reassure you that it’s ok, she’s fine, but her smile is visibly strained, she’s never had to fake it before so she doesn’t know how. She wears a vision, but it’s a fake one, because her pops said that maybe having it here would help and she agreed, tried to pretend for him that it does help, bu. It very obviously doesn’t.

Ayaka is horrified. She apologizes to Yoimiya, tries to think of ways to help her, but Yoi just laughs humorlessly. “It won’t ever touch you, princess.”

She’s immediately disgusted at herself and apologizes, tries to take it back, this isn’t her, she would never say this, and not to her friend! But also, it’s so hard to care now and she can’t remember why it’s so important to care at all.

Ayaka is shaken. Bc it’s true! She is a privileged noble, vision hunt will not come for her! She is playing at the resistance from the safety of anonymity, while people like Yoimiya actually risk themselves and pay the price!

And this is when the news that Thoma was arrested and about to be 100th vision taken at the feet of the statue comes. Tenryou commission truly strikes back.

Ayaka is in uproar. She’s ready to go herself and fight for Thoma, especially after Yoi’s words. She’s sick and tired of being a perfect princess, she can’t allow any more of her friends, her family come to harm because they don’t have her protection. Clearly Thoma being a theatrical execution is a blow specifically against Yashiro commission and Kamisato family in particular, and if Shogun has beef with her, well, she can settle it with HER instead of going after her friends!

Traveler stops her. This is what they want. If Ayaka openly moves against the Shogun, the entire Yashiro commission falls. Even if Ayaka is in the right! No, it’s the Traveler who will go to save Thoma

But traveler needs raiden’s good will for the info, they can’t confront raiden openly, it was the deal from the start!

But at this point traveler has seen too much, the divide in the country, the change and suffering of their own friends, and they can’t allow all of Yashiro commission take the fall.

This is when the Traveler decides to take a stand.

ACT 2

#rhine talks #inazuma ranting #genshin impact #rhine lore study #rhine writes

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dareactions · 6 months ago

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How will companions react to a teen!Warden? Will their behavior change or they will act the same way as with an adult!Warden? Who would like to be friends with Warden and who's more annoyed by teens? Sorry if my request is too long:(

Alistair: He always wanted a sibling in some ways. There's something nice about the idea of having someone that depends on him and the Warden becomes a younger sibling so fast he gets a bit scared. Alistair wants to so badly steer them in the right direction- and he very easily falls into that role of the cool older brother. Honestly he kind of lets them get away with way too much just because they're younger but eh- he's not here to be a dad let's be honest. Leliana: Honestly she's kind of excited. Teenagers are always some of the most creative people in terms of problem solving and they have the ego and gumption that rivals most politically inclined adults. She for sure leans into the big-sister role that she finds herself in. She is a confidant, someone who listens and gives advice when asked. Also the person who pretend she doesn't see anything if you don't want her to. Loghain: Only one internal thought- what the fuck? He is so confused. Like- Loghain can't even be angry, he's just confused. Why the fuck is a teenager this competent? Since when were Grey Wardens below the legal drinking limit? There's such a mix of feelings that anger never even bubbles to the surface; he just becomes an exasperated dad in the funniest way imaginable. He hates this, he doesn't want this but it's not like Alistair or Morrigan is going to tell the kid off. Morrigan: She is so actively displeased she may as well just have even more of a permanent frown. She's not bad with kids and she would argue she can handle teens even better; but really? A teenager? She just sighs, rolls her eyes and makes sure they're not more than an arm's reach away when they're in major cities and anyone who even so much as raises their voice at them- it's on sight. Oghren: This man- does not know what to do. He isn't exactly the most stable person to put anyone around; much less a teenager. There's a lot of squabbling and stupid fights. Teenagers like pushing boundaries and Oghren likes pretending he is unbothered until he no longer is. It takes a LONG time to find a stability that actually works on the road between the two but hey- he doesn't mind teaching the kid a trick or two. Shale: Could care less, let's be honest. Just more inclined to not take you as seriously initially but eh- humans tend to exceed all odds. Sten: It's a big of a weird situation. In some ways- he likes the initiative the Warden is showing at a young age. After all, it's not like age actually decides your competence in battle - however he really could do without the whole mood swings and feeling on top of the world thing. He doesn't baby them whatsoever- just treats them like he would any teen within the Qunari. Wynne: If the Warden didn't want a mom figure- they should've stayed out of Wynne's sight. She is ON THAT. She does not mind being the bad guy unlike Alistair and is here to ensure the Warden survives this Blight. She's soft, comforting, nurturing- and also willing to put her hands on her hips and stare them down with a look that would make gods shake. Zevran: You know that older brother or uncle that teaches you how to pick locks and steal cars? Yeah, that's him. Zevran is actually the one who seems the most upset visibly that they're doing all of this so young- but he takes it in stride. He keeps them within arm's length, his protective nature is always a silent one. He is pissed when he finds out he was hired to kill a child though.

#dragon age reactions #companions reaction #dragon age origins #zevran arainai #wynne #oghren #shale #sten #alistair #morrigan #leliana #teen!warden

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jben073 · 11 months ago

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Grace Chasity and Bliklotep Headcanons!

Here are the Grace and Blinky headcanons that I made bc I misunderstood the last ask! Hope you all like these bc they were really fun to make!

- Grace has always had poor vision. She’s supposed to wear glasses but she has always hated how they felt on her face and hated the sensation of contact lenses even more so she just kind of suffered through not being able to see super great and accommodated herself whenever possible for most of her life. After coming into contact with Blinky/being under his influence, however, her vision becomes exceptionally sharp and developed.

She becomes abnormally aware of even the smallest movements or visual changes in her surroundings. One day she has the sudden realization that she can now see in the dark because Blinky needs his vessel to be able to see at all times so that he can watch at all times.

- Blinky likes to ‘passively’ possess Grace and essentially just (figuratively) sit in the back of her mind while Grace remains conscious and keeps (majority) control of her body. This is because he likes to watch things through her eyes/point of view.

When he’s doing this, she tends to become a lot more still and quiet, and her irises are tinted purple like the people in WatcherWorld. Most often, he does this when Grace is witnessing something that he would find entertaining (usually arguments or violence). She’s like a front-row seat to the action for him!

- While Grace carries on with her day (at school in this case) during Blinky’s ‘passive’ influence, she will occasionally realize that she has been unconsciously doodling eyes all over her paper alongside the occasional Blinky ramble exposing her classmates’ secrets (which she promptly rips up and wishes she never saw in the first place.)

He will also sometimes push forward enough to very minorly take control and use Grace’s voice to speak for a moment. Typically it’s more of the same with him saying something ominous about knowing/seeing what someone has done and possibly taunting them about eventually being punished.

Her classmates are unphased because honestly, Grace is just kind of like that all of the time anyway.

- Blinky likes to mess with Grace by making her unintentionally cheat on tests. He knows that oddly, the things that get to her the most are the little things that challenge her specific morals rather than the blatant violence he might enact to mess with others. While writing tests, Blinky will flash images of the answer sheet in her mind before Grace is able to think of the answer on her own so that now it’s impossible for her to get the answers wrong and thus she is wracked with guilt for having an unfair advantage over her classmates.

- Blinky will constantly try to influence Grace into snooping through her friends' things or just generally invade others’ privacy. Often he does this by filling her head with all kinds of distrustful thoughts: telling her that they’re hiding things from her, that they're talking behind her back, that they stole something from her, that they’re going down the wrong path, etc. Anything to make her stick her nose where it doesn’t belong. If she’s kind of zoned out, he’ll sometimes subtly influence her into walking within earshot of private conversations so that she overhears things that she shouldn’t know.

Grace has now taken to holding her hands very tightly clasped behind her back while in others’ homes because it makes it easier to avoid the temptation to rifle through things that are none of her business.

- Blinky is a huge gossip (a bit of a lighthearted word for an eldritch god but it suits him!) and he specifically is the one who (very gleefully) directs Grace toward her victims. He’s always in her ear telling her about the sins of her peers and giving suggestions as to which “dirty dude” she should go after next.

- Oddly, I feel like Blinky has a little bit of a soft spot for Grace compared to the other humans that he’s encountered but that doesn’t mean he won’t mess with her. Because of this, Blinky tells Grace what people say about her behind her back. Part of this is because he wants to hurt her, but part of him also wants her to know so that she can stick up for herself and get revenge (plus there’s the added bonus of it being free entertainment for him!).

When he’s having a rare moment of empathy, he will simply inform her of the sins of the person who was saying nasty things about her and encourage her to use the Black Book on them without ever disclosing that they were saying anything about her.

- Grace is the most paranoid about Blinky out of all of the LIB. She’s not necessarily afraid of him, but she is constantly aware that he could be watching her, especially when she’s doing something that she thinks is wrong or sinful (even if it wouldn’t actually phase him at all) and she is afraid that he will use this information against her or tell others.

He lets her continue to think this way because it gives him greater power over her but realistically, he would not want to betray her trust in this way and risk his most powerful asset becoming disobedient/disloyal to him.

One more silly one to end on!

- Blinky constantly wants to antagonize Bill when Grace sees him at church but she has set that as a hard ‘no’ boundary because she refuses to be disrespectful to ‘a good churchgoing Christian’ like Bill.

She’s nice to him at church!! She can’t lose that!

That's all I've got rn but this was very fun!

Anyone can feel free to send me asks about hcs :D I definitely have a bias toward Grace-related hcs (including stuff like this where it’s her dynamic with another character) bc my brain is rotted for her, but I’m willing to try others if someone wanted that :)

#grace chasity #blinky #bliklotep #starkid hcs #lords in black #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #starkid #hatchetfield #nightmare time

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occasionaloneshots · 3 months ago

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I want a female (or fem presenting) animal character from the Dead Boy Detectives universe. I want a character who has magic but in a more controlled and less exciting way than TCK or Esther.

Give me an emotional support animal who got humanized like Monty, give her powers like Jasper Hale from Twilight. She’s absolutely stone faced but there’s so much love that pours out of her that she’s damn near intoxicating to the characters we already know. Make her an analogy for addiction or for learning to overcome trauma for all I care but make her comforting with something unknown under her skin. Have her always deadpan, cozy but off putting.

I want her to feel so entwined to their emotions, to them, that she’s step in front of a gun (or witch, or iron object) for them just so she doesn’t have to feel it with them. So used to making them happier that she can’t handle letting it slip. She can’t let them slip.

Make her a love interest to a character like Jenny or Niko who obviously we have but we haven’t gotten to explore like our main three. Someone who knows grief and loneliness and meets this force with a gentleness and understanding that just feels otherworldly to them.

Give me Charles being attached at her hip because when she’s around he can’t FEEL his anger that bubbles under the surface (she’s upped his dopamine, being around him and feeling everything festering under his smile makes her recoil, not that it’s as strong as he thinks, just that it feels awful to harbor someone else’s bottled up anger). Have him chase her like a high, begging for her to join them so he can keep feeling better.

Give me Edwin hating her until he realizes he’s just a little less scared of himself when talking to her. Who when he understands her magic he genuinely wants to add her to their group because she’s got the same calming ability as Death without the threat of Death herself. Their relationship becoming softer and almost sibling like as they grow to understand each other.

Give me Crystal finally being relaxed if she’s around. Going to her begging for just a little comfort when she thinks too much about David or herself from before the possession, Crystal who later realizes that it was never the girl’s (dog’s perhaps?) powers soothing her but just feeling seen. That she never truly lost the emotional support animal training she was given as a child (pup?, major dog girl to rival the cat boy brain rot)

Monty having someone who understands what it’s like to be torn apart and have to learn to understand emotion. She’s become nearly maternal to him because her powers pick him up the same way they do a toddler’s feelings. She can feel him trying to understand himself and through her own experience she just wants to help. Giving him the gentle affection and care Esther never cared to, like someone finally wants to love him in any form without having something to gain.

Give her an on going and unexplained rivalry with The Cat King that can fall apart the second one of them is in trouble. She can’t stand feeling his fear or pain and despite swearing to hate her, he hates seeing her give way to her own emotions when she does so much to make others feel better (including the lonely cat himself, not that she’ll admit to it). Give me them getting into an argument and getting some sort of “Cat King” collar as punishment, making people think she’s in the same situation as Edwin (not that he wants her -or maybe he does idgaf- but that the humiliation of it gives him a leg up)

I want to see an animal character who has grown past their animal instincts to something not quite human but not primal. A character decked out in fur and animal motifs but they come off so real you’d never see the magic under the surface. So attached to her last life through magic and so detached from her instincts that if she saw her animal form she wouldn’t know it.

Honestly I could turn this into a fic but idk if anyone would ever want that (and I just want more animal characters and comfort for those very very sad teenagers and magic creatures)

#dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives #dbda #fic prompt

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epickiya722 · 9 months ago

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Y'all gonna hate me and I don't want you to, I do not. But it annoys me sometimes how quick I see some people call a mangaka of a Shonen misogynistic for something and it's like... do you know what a misogynist is?

Like, I can see a mangaka being a misogynist for killing every female character and none of the male characters.

I can see it if the mangaka doesn't develop any of the female characters and give them all the same personality and/or design (like body shape).

But... uh...

When a mangaka kills off a female character it's "misogyny"?? But then the kill count the majority be males and people act as if it's illegal for a female character to die in a story. You know, some creators are actually afraid to kill off women and girls because they're afraid the crowd will call them misogynistic for it even though just like men and boys we are human and can die, too??

Sometimes the female character killed off is a minor one with no development because it's not like she was ever important to the story anyways. And guess what? We have had male characters the same way, too. It's not that she was killed off for being female. She's killed off because just like her male counterpart, she was written to die off anyways. She isn't important just like the guy. It's not misogyny. It's storytelling.

People are quick to say "misogyny" when a female character doesn't have a huge backstory or little development, but are the same ones who have all this energy to write multiple fics giving a male character who already has a damn backstory in canon all this development and whatnot. What if she is a female character who isn't the focus of the story anyways? Sometimes, it's not necessary to give every character a backstory because of the story. Use your imagination. Where's that energy? Where?

Y'all can't be seriously the same people who can write a bunch of analysis posts on a male character and not on a female one when she has just as much as development or even more than the male one and then call the creator a "misogynist". You know how many Miruko analysis posts I have been able to write?! Just by reading one line or looking at one scene?! So it's not even impossible to do so with just little development. You just don't care to do it. You don't have to, but come on.

And the fans of a female character can be just as bad because some of y'all can only call a female a girl boss and "she's so attractive" and are hush-hush about her other traits her creator did give her.

A lot of Maki fans like to go "she's so attractive, she's so girl boss" but I question sometimes if any of you remember her backstory and why she's attending the school. Or do you just like her for being attractive?

Some of you were mad because she was sidelined for most of this arc as if she didn't get a whole arc to herself involving the Zenin clan. Hell, I say she got a lot more screen time than characters like Toge who we haven't seen in how long? Hell, we didn't get much with Noritoshi with his clan like that.

Also, uh, there are other characters? Like, I wasn't aware Gege have to stick to just writing one character. I wasn't aware, why no one told me. I thought when there's multiple characters you would want to write them all having some bit of screen time. My bad, I was mistaken.

For real, and I know someone will disagree and if you do, I honestly don't care. But compared to someone like Yuta, Maki feels more like a human character and not an accessory. She has been hyped as a character since chapter one. Megumi name drops her when comparing Yuji to her. Right there should have been a clue that Maki was gonna be a big character in some way.

Oh! And it's also "misogyny" if a female character is a villain or unlikable even though some of you yell "we need more complex female characters".

It's like with a character like Mei Mei. I already made a post about it, but I'll say it again. You say you want a complex female character, Mei Mei comes along and you want her to die. But there's been a lot worse male characters and you folks be drooling.

It's not that you want a complex female character because a story needs it. You want one so you have a female character to bully and hate on while you make heart eyes at and hype up the male one.

A mangaka isn't the misogynistic one for writing a female character like that, but it does feel misogynistic to act as if she shouldn't exist and be so quick to go "He's my husband" to the worse character in existence who is male.

And honestly, I don't see why any of you want more complex female characters like that to bully and hate on when you do it already to the less complex and/or good ones.

A mangaka is apparently "misogynistic" for not showing a female character for one chapter, but you don't even vote for her in popularity polls. Stop it now.

I think about how some of you complain about how Ochako is written and call Horikoshi misogynistic for it, but you folks be the same ones who can only seem to bring up her "crush" on Izuku even though she has been shown to have other capabilites and traits way before that moment.

Look, just say you don't like the writing. Sometimes, the writing can be a little wonky for male characters, but I don't see any name calling for that.

Overall, my point is learn when to say when a creator is a misogynist. A creator will deliver what you complain a female character is lacking and you ignore it and then claim "misogyny" if something bad happens like a female character dying. It's fair game, folks, in a story for female characters to get the same treatment as the male ones. It's not because of her gender, it's because she is a character. She just happens to be female.

If you don't like the writing, it's cool not to. No one is forcing you to. Sometimes, the writing does just suck. But it's just extreme as hell to claim it's misogynistic if it's not going the way you want to.

It's just annoying doing it when it comes to Shonen, especially nowadays where some of the mangakas actually have better female characters than years prior. Sometimes, the creators aren't afraid to treat the female characters like they're actual characters to the story.

There's going to be a lot of focus on male characters. There's going to be more developed male characters. But that doesn't mean there aren't female ones. There's going to be more male characters.

All this works in reverse with SHOJO.

At this point, watch that. But don't be that same person to complain about "so many female characters" or "underdeveloped male characters". Or probably you won't because will you see those creators as bad people the same way you do for people of Shonen? Or this is just a case where "It's okay anyways, he's male".

It is just astonishing that the same people who will call a mangaka a "misogynist" are the same people who actually don't really give a damn about female characters. Like, you either don't even have a female character you like and find all the male ones hot. Or if you do, you still don't really give a damn about her story and just like her for being attractive and a badass.

And it can't be "her writing sucks" or "she's terrible".

If you can like the blandest male characters and ones who have actually assaulted others, then it shouldn't be problem with female ones, right?

Just... stop throwing "misogyny" around especially over some damn fiction. Yes, a mangaka any one, any creator is capable of being a misogynist.

But y'all say it so much you're just muddling the word. There are cases where it applies, just not all the damn time!! There's more serious cases where the word "misogyny" applies. Like, real life issues.

It's going in the "overused and lost all meaning" word basket with words like "queerbait" and "toxic".

#just kiya's thoughts #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers

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dragonologist-phd · 10 hours ago

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just a bunch of rambling below

As excited as I was to get dwarf lore, I was kinda disappointed because I can’t deny that the spirit of Harding’s quest (specifically the climax) should have been given to the elves. The anger she had at what’s been done to her people- that would work with an elf companion way better than a dwarf

Dragon Age dwarves have always been more about inner conflict. From the caste system, to the abandonment of Kal-Sharok, to how betrayal plays a major theme in the Aeducan and Brosca stories- they’ve always been about isolation and division within a society, not a society that’s been oppressed by outside forces. And none of their problems would suddenly be solved if they had the ability to dream or do magic, so it’s hard to meaningfully connect with that being taken from them!

and honestly, the core of Harding's quest could still work. she has moments of resentment towards Orzammar over their view of surfacers like her; she mentions being raised Andrastian but still being the odd one out amongst humans; there's a running theme of her trying to keep the peace while others are voicing their opinions. all the pieces are there for a plot about how her connection to the Titans informs the way she defines herself, and how she relates to this history that she's always felt apart from. it's just frustrating because the framing of the themes they end up with in that climax doesn't fit.

And of course turning it all into another thing to blame on ancient elves just isn’t satisfying, because the modern elves deserve more than anybody to harness the literal power of their people’s rage. I can't help but feel that Bellara’s quest and her final decision felt so flat, because the Archive and ancient elven knowledge are only talked about in the vaguest of terms and there’s so little sense of what it means to her. The question of what to keep and what to leave behind should be the focus of her journey, and it almost is, but it’s never really explored

and it's a shame because I really like both these characters, and I can easily see a version of this game where they're narrative foils, both diving into their people's history and grappling with what it should mean to them and how to best move forward with what they have

#again it’s a shame bc I really like individual elements of both quests #but neither really works as a complete picture #'what to keep and what to leave behind' should have been the unifying theme of the game tbh. for the lore and the history and the factions #i can see the vision. the bones of it are there. it's just not acted on the way it should be #am i making sense. i probably need to go to sleep.#rambling #veilguard spoilers

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flameof · 8 months ago

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Okay, Gundam SEED Freedom has completely taken over my brain for the past 24 hours. I ABSOLUTELY MUST GUSH LORE AND PUT IT DOWN SOMEWHERE.

Naturally, there will be major spoilers for Freedom below the cutoff. If you don't want to be spoiled, then TURN BACK NOW, PLEASE.

Okay, we good? Good.

First the lore: A major theme throughout quite honestly the entire SEED series is that of Destiny. Rau le Creuset believed it was humanities destiny to destroy itself, Gilbert Durandal believed humanity would be happiest if their destiny was determined by genetics, and Foundation, the nation introduced in Freedom, follows in Durandal's footsteps, only to a more violet degree.

The main thing that differs Foundation from Durandal is the existence of Accords; basically Ultimate Coordinator MK2. At some point between Ulen Hibiki's initial experiments that created both Kira Yamato and Rau le Creuset, and Durandal being a part of whatever it was when he devised the Destiny Plan (as well as whatever created Rey za Burrel), two particular individuals were a part of the overall scheme. These two were Aura Maha Khyber (the blonde loli), and Lacus' mother.

That's right. Lacus Clyne is an Accord. She, alongside Orphee Lam Tao (blonde dude), were designed with the express purpose of running the Destiny Plan as a couple. Arranged marriage between Coordinators is no big surprise, let's be real. Hell, Lacus was probably genetically coded to be attracted to Orphee, shown in the movie by certain scenes (not show how else to describe them).

But, as you might guess (or know, if you've seen the movie), Lacus still chooses Kira over Orphee. Why? Well, time for some theorycrafting.

It's my believe that the main message of Freedom is one of Nature VS Nurture. Who we are genetically vs Who we are, raised by our environment.

Kira Yamato is a First Generation Ultimate Coordinator, so while he's outstanding compared to normal Coordinators, he pales in comparison to the Accords. But, Kira always said he was more than just the byproduct of Ulen Hibiki's hubris. More than a child of Ulen, he is a Yamato; raised and nurtured by Caridad and Hamura Yamato, after being entrusted to them by Via Hibiki, his mother by blood. Kira's kindness may very well be engrained into his DNA, but it was something he was taught to value by the Yamato's. He could have easily become conceited, like so many other Coordinators, but he didn't.

Just the same, Lacus Clyne, as far as we knew up to Destiny, was raised by the late Siegel Clyne, who almost certainly taught her to value people based on who they are, not what they represent. She can be cunning underneath her cheerful exterior in her youth, but she gravitated towards Kira because he was Kira Yamato; the kind boy who stuck his neck out for a stranger.

A wise dragon once said: Destiny is little more than the sum of our choices. I feel this quote perfectly encapsulates the core of SEED as a whole, not just Freedom. Destiny shouldn't be something chosen for you; it should be something you yourself choose. And in the end, Lacus chose Kira. A common theme in Freedom was the idea of 'Loving someone because you need them', which Lacus herself refutes with "You don't love someone because you need them; You need them, because you love them". Its a sentiment that Kira actually shares, when the woman holding Lacus at knife point threatens to cut our her tongue, or gouge her eyes out, and see if Kira still loves her then, Kira's immediate response... is of course I'd still love her; she's Lacus.

The Destiny Plan, laid out by Durandal, and worked on by so many, like Aura and Lacus's mother, was (ha ha) destined to fail, and I believe it all comes back to the choices two parents, unrelated to each other, made for the sake of their children. Because Via Hibiki got Kira and Cagalli to the Yamato's and Athha's, and all because Siegel Clyne taught Lacus to value the kindness of a stranger, over the power of your destiny.

Funnily enough, I'm remembering a line Kuzzey says back in SEED, about just how much work went into making Lacus's voice the way it is. Turns out; a lot.

It also makes me wonder if Meer Campbell was something of a backup plan, since she sounds identical to Lacus.

Okay, gushing about the new lore done. Now, let's talk about the awesome.

First off: The Immortal Justice is a Shinn Asuka suit, not an Athrun Zala suit. I don't make the rules, but Athrun never sat his ass down in the Immortal Justice.

Next, Agnes Giebenrath can literally be described as 'Coordinator Flay Allster', and I appreciate her for that.

Then, there's all the callbacks to other characters that had passed away, specifically Nicol and Natarle. Those two had complete maneuvers and tactics named after them. They're gone, but never forgotten.

As I mentioned in my last SEED Freedom post, Athrun did stuff with the Z'Gok that would make Char envious. The way Athrun handled that machine made me think he was Master Asia, Undefeated of the East.

Next, as we all well know by now, the way Athrun managed to get one up on the Black Knights' ability to read his mind; by thinking about having sex with Cagalli.

Next! Once more Mu La Flaga proves himself to be the man who does the impossible... by face-tanking FREAKING REQUIEM WITH THE AKATSUKI! Man practically said he had to stop doing that.

Then, there's the new warship, Millennium. Not only is it state of the art, but Murrue, once she starts captaining it, gets her own assault deck where she controls FREAKING GUNBARRELS! The Millennium is a warship sized Moebius Zero!

Finally, for the last thing I want to gush about: Shinn Asuka. Just... all of him. From the fact that he's calmer, earnest, stands up for Kira, drinks his 'respect' juice, and at the end, when he gets the Destiny Gundam back, he faces off against four of the Black Knights, and kicks their asses... WITHOUT TAKING MAJOR DAMAGE. Not only that, but STELLA LOUSSIER makes a comeback, proving definitively that Shinn Asuka is the Kamille Bidan of the CE era, by protecting Shinn's mind from being probed by the Black Knights, freaking them out by going all nightmare on their asses (which is probably just a representation of them being scared by just how much darkness is in his heart), and then immediately followed by him putting the F91 to shame and using the much meme'd about afterimages to kick ass and take names. Shinn may have lost to them before, but only because he wasn't using the machine literally built for him. Also, before I forget, when Shinn went SEED mode during that same battle, the Black Knights couldn't read his mind. Shinn's instincts are just that good.

Okay. I'm done. I've gushed all I can.

#gundam seed freedom #gundam seed freedom spoilers #spoilers #gundam spoilers #gundam seed spoilers #like serious spoilers #dead dove do not eat #I'm literally doing this because if I don't I'll die of brainrot #Like seriously this is complete spoilers #Please do not complain about being spoiled by this post #I am giving ample warning #I don't know how many more spoiler tags I can add

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checkoutmybookshelf · 10 months ago

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Mixing Magic and Science to Shape Dragon Breath

I'd be lying if I said dragons weren't my favorite magical creatures. There are literally two of them on my desk right now, and I have handed more people the Temeraire books than I care to count. That said, the vast majority of my dragon experience is with what I'm gonna call white westerner dragons. If they're not literally fantasy British, they're inspired by fantasy British dragons, and the dragon world is just a lot bigger than that. So I was absolutely delighted to find a book with a Nampeshiwe and broaden my dragon horizons. Let's talk To Shape A Dragon's Breath.

When Kasaqua chooses Anequs to be Nampeshiweisit, it is largely a matter of safety that first convinces Aneques to leave Masquapaug to learn the skiltakraft to effectively Shape Kasaqua's breath. However, this is an Indigenous woman walking into the heart of Fantasy North America with flavors of Fantasy Nordic Countries, so... colonialism, white supremacy, racism, and imperialism are massive themes and major roadblocks that Anequs experiences. And experiences again. And again. And again. From literally everyone, from her friends, to uneasy allies, to indifferent classmates to bitter enemies. The nuance and variation in the racism that Anequs goes head to head with was stunning--as in it left me absolutely stunned.

On top of that, the world is developed to the point that Frau Kuiper keeps laying out multifaceted, multi-party political issues and Anequs just keeps having to go "literally all of these perspectives share the assumption that my people are uncivilized and need either exterminating or civilizing. What if we tried assuming we are people just as civilized as you with a culture culture traditions just as deeply held?" It's amazing how many characters tell Anequs that she is rude for suggesting that she is a person. Like the number of people I wanted to punch while reading was astounding.

That said, no character in this book is a simple allegory or one-dimensional caricature. Theod Knecht was separated from his family and his people at birth and raised to believe that the other way to be a person was to be Anglish--and even then, he could never be Anglish enough to be fully human. His arc is the complicated emotions of unlearning a system that says you have no worth and reconnecting with your people.

Sander is Anglish and coded as Autistic, but he and Anequs have one of my favorite friendships in this book. They take each other day by day on their own terms and at their own paces, and honestly Sander is just a sweetheart.

Liberty is in an interesting position because she is indentured and living in an Anglish society, which prohibits same-sex relationships. Which does not stop Anequs from expressing her feelings for Liberty in ways that are safe and supportive of Liberty. These two are darling and I genuinely cannot wait to see where they go in the sequel.

Then we come to Kasaqua. Kasaqua is just literally playfulness and joy in dragon form, and she is a delight. She isnt as talkative as say Naomi Novik or Rebecca Yarros's dragons are, but she is expressive and personality-filled nonetheless. There is also her deep-seated joy at [redacted because that's kind of a major spoiler and I don't want to spoil this book].

All these relationships really form and solidify at Kuiper's Academy of Natural Philosophy and Skiltakraft, to which Anequs receives a full sholarship. The school is like a mix of senior high school and undergrad at university, since students between 16 and 20 attend. Most of the students are male, with Anequs and Marta the only female students in attendance for this book. The school is run by Frau Kuiper, who, in her day, basically pulled a Mulan/Alanna of Trebond to get chosen by a dragon, trained, and then sent to the front of a war where she distinguished herself. Her "pet project" to to use Anequs and Theod to "prove that nackies can be civilized" which is honestly pretty gross and causes a metric ton of friction between her and Anequs. In the process though, Anequs learns lessons that it is debatable whether Frau Kuiper meant to teach her that I think will let her be heard in Anglish society enough to support and preserve her people.

Overall, this book was amazing. It was HEAVY, but it needed to be, and that weight just adds to the reading experience. This is one of those books that just literally everyone should have to read at some point.

#to shape a dragon's breath #moniquill blackgoose #anequs #kasaqua #indigenous literature #indigenous main character #indigenous dragons #dragons #books and reading #books and novels #books #books & libraries #book recommendations

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hamliet · 6 months ago

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Love your blog, Hamliet and also your take on theology. What do you think about Jezebel and Vashti? Now, as Christian myself, I've been told since childhood to not grow up to be like both queens above but become like Eshter and Ruth. But as I grew older, I started to think differenly of those two queens. I grew to like their characters and think they are more interesting than Eshter and Ruth (not that I think badly of the later, I also like them).

What do you think?

Hi! Thank you for this ask; I love talking about Biblical narrative!

To start with, I'm gonna chat about Vashti-Esther, and Jezebel, under the cut. But first I'm gonna go to bat for my girl Ruth, because she is so not the "good girl" modern Christians depict her as. Her story is so much more complex, and there's a reason a lot of modern churches ignore talking about the Jewish context.

Ruth: Brave, Bold, Thirsty

Ruth is a go-getter. Ruth didn't patiently wait like a meek girl. Ruth took her destiny into her own hands--with her mother-in-law's guidance.

See, when Ruth goes to lie down with Boaz at night and uncovers his "feet," she didn't uncover his feet. Feet is a euphemism. It is indisputably his penis.

Like, Christians rarely talk about this because they don't want to acknowledge it because it goes against their image of Ruth. But they also don't have a counter for it because it factually is Ruth, y'know, having agency.

So, Ruth is trying to seduce Boaz, because she knows he likes her. And being crafty about it, because if someone catches her there, Boaz (being an honorable man which she already knows he is), even if they haven't had sex he'll have to marry her because everyone will think they have. Genius.

And despite people trying to say Boaz and Ruth are too honorable so clearly it was just about marriage and nor her actually attempting to initiate premarital sex, the Bible expressly has another widow called honorable for initiating premarital sex that actually happens (with her father-in-law no less) specifically to ensure her survival when she would else wise have been left childless and abandoned. tl;dr: Ruth was attempting to seduce Boaz. That's the obvious meaning of this, and whoever wrote the story wasn't obsessed with getting the audiece to think otherwise.

Thematically, also, Ruth going outside of the norms of what is considered moral (via asking for sex before marriage, even if there is an understanding that sex would lead to marriage) is kind of a major tie-in with the other aspect of Ruth's story: she's a foreigner. The Law frowns on marrying foreigners for the most part. Yet, by going outside the normal parameters, they get King David and later, for Christians, Jesus himself.

Ruth left her homeland after losing her husband and stuck with her mother-in-law, knowing that doing so meant that she had no future (she would need children to provide for her in her old age; as a foreigner, she likely wouldn't be able to marry again and have kids. But she went with Naomi so that Naomi wouldn't be alone, because she could ensure Naomi had someone to take care of her at the very least, without any hope for herself).

But when she saw a chance to secure her future, she took it. And Naomi encouraged her to do so. Ruth is brave, and smart, and kind. And Boaz is also a good man who not only helped Ruth, but didn't take advantage of her desperation on the threshing room floor. He didn't have sex with her, and he forbade others from talking about her coming there. Instead he went about it the honorable and human-affirming way--marrying Ruth according to traditional cultural customs, at the city gates.

In other words, Boaz said this isn't going to be a shameful, backroom thing. He says, I'm going to make it public, because I'm proud to have you as my wife.

Honestly, healthiest couple in all of Scripture.

Others below!

Esther and Vashti: Bringing Good from Bad

Esther and Vashti I see as a story about making the best of a terrible situation. Vashti deserves no hate, and I do see Christians coming around to that as well. I mean, her husband essentially said come parade yourself naked in front of all my drunk friends. Sounds like he wanted an orgy, or at the very least public sex with her. And she said no, like she should have. King, you're gross. Vashti did nothing wrong.

But Ahasuerus is kinda portrayed like a... very passionate but not very wise person throughout the story. So not really surprising. But the point also is that while he doesn't want to acknowledge his stupidity or allow a woman to counter his authority, he does eventually not only pardon Esther when she flouts his authority by entering without permission, but comes up with a counter to his previously issued decree to slaughter the Jews. A king can't go back on his word, but he can give others power to counter it when he's wrong. Which is kind of the main theme--making the best out of a shitty situation.

Esther is then taken from everyone she's ever known and forced to become a concubine wherein most of the girls around her will be used once, probably not get pregnant, and live the rest of their lives alone and untouched in the king's harem. But Esther, like Ruth, is clever. She asks for advice from the eunuchs to endear herself to the king because she wants more than a life of luxury and loneliness. Because of her attempts to save herself from a fate that, on the surface, isn't nearly as terrible as what Ruth was facing but is still emotionally devastating, she ends in a perfect position to save all of her people from annihilation.

Jezebel (and Athaliah): A Critique of Power

Jezebel... well, she's kind of portrayed as vain and cruel. Plus she murders some people whenever they flout her authority. So she's not like, a morally awesome person.

That said, I always felt sorry for her. She also clearly wanted power and lived in a society where women had little say and little power, even as queen, which is probably why she lashes out so brutally at those who threaten her power and position--the vineyard owner, the prophets, etc.*

But instead of Jezebel being seen as a sign for how marriages to foreigners is a way of corrupting the Israelites with foreign gods, I wonder whether the story would be different if people had treated Jezebel more of as a potential Ruth, as a human being, instead of just a symbol of political power.

Because that's what she was--her marriage is a symbol of power for King Ahab and for her father. I see her corruption and cruelty as a condemnation far more of what happens when we focus on gaining political power than what happens when we marry the wrong person or whatnot. And also, like, maybe the way women were treated may have led to her desperation for power. Just maybe.

Along those lines, I also wonder if the prophets had been less condemning of her as a person and more corrective (and if her husband wasn't himself such a spineless meatbrain), if her story might have been more of an Esther's.

But patriarchy is far more interested in condemning Jezebel as a whore despite like, there being no record of that, rather than in, like, examining their own human desire for control and political power and how that can corrupt (but also! doesn't! have! to! see Esther).

*Like, Jezebel's flaw being her focus on power is very clear not just in her actions but her daughter Athaliah's--Athaliah marries the king of Judah and then massacres all his sons to take the crown for herself, with only one son, a baby, surviving thanks to a princess named Jehoshabeath, who was married to the chief priest, smuggling him out. Later on there's a coup and Joash, the son, reclaims his father's throne. Yes, the classic fantasy trope of secret son reclaiming a father's throne is partially Biblically based.

#ask hamliet #the bible #theology #ruth and boaz #jezebel #esther #vashti #athaliah #bible meta #is that a thing?

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m1ckeyb3rry · 1 year ago

Text

Endure VII: Gear

Series Synopsis: You and Eren Jaeger have been best friends since the age of two, but the two of you are destined for an inevitable tragedy. The world you have been born into is cruel; it is one where friends are traitors and enemies are allies, one where you find yourself doubting everything you've ever known. In this life, mistakes are fatal, and you must be careful, lest you make one too many.

Chapter Synopsis: You get to use the ODM gear for the first time.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader, Armin Arlert x Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6.1k

Content Warnings: swearing, canon-typical violence, sexual abuse (non-explicit), major character death, angst, original characters included

You were used to being bad at things. You were used to being weaker than Mikasa and dumber than Armin and more scared than Eren. Therefore, you did not have high hopes when you were hoisted into the ODM harness for the aptitude test. The only advantage you had was the tips that Petra and Levi had given you.

Then again, that was quite the advantage indeed. How many of these cadets could say that they had been given advice from humanity’s strongest soldier? And Petra was no slouch herself. She had one of the highest titan kill counts, as well as an incredible amount of assists. Her prowess with the ODM was perhaps not legendary, but it was not to be discounted, either.

You tried to remember all of this as your examiner raised you into the air. The reassuring words of the two experienced Scouts rang in your head, and you did your best to follow them.

Keep your core tight and your muscles limber, engaged but not resistant. If you overthink it, you’ll fall, so it’s better to just not think at all. Channel your inner T. This was Petra.

The key to the ODM gear is to not fight it. Most people try to outmuscle the gear, and for people who are big in size, that’s fine — to a point. But it’ll never work for you and I. The gear will automatically self-balance, so there’s no need to force anything. Just let it do its job and focus your energy and strength on maneuvering your body. Try not to stay still, either. The gear is meant for movement, and counterintuitive though it may seem, the more you move and the faster you go, the better your balance will be. Levi had written an entire paragraph about how to effectively utilize the ODM gear in one of his letters, and his detailed advice combined with Petra’s allowed for you to stay upright in the air.

After a moment, you began to feel what Levi was talking about as the gear started wobbling a little. You gave your examiner a worried look, but she only raised her eyebrows at you, perhaps wondering what you would do. Taking this as a challenge, you relaxed your body further and let yourself swing back and forth, making sure the examiner could tell it was on purpose.

The examiner nodded in approval before lowering you and helping you out of the gear. She handed you a bottle of water, which you accepted gratefully.

“You were excellent with that. Your instincts are uncanny,” she said. You blushed and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

“I wish that was the truth, but honestly, I have a lot of prior knowledge. I live with Petra Ral — she’s a Scout, you know, and part of the Special Ops Squad — and Captain Levi is my pen pal. They both gave me a ton of advice, so I had a bit of an unfair advantage, you see,” you said. The examiner looked surprised before nodding.

“Ah, I see. Regardless of how you got your knowledge, the fact remains that you have it, and you definitely pass. You say you’re...pen pals...with Captain Levi? Then I’ll have to assume that he saw something in you, which only leads me to believe that you would’ve been fine either way. Congratulations, Cadet L/N,” she said.

“Thank you, ma’am,” you said, saluting at her before looking around, “Um, is there something else I’m supposed to do for the rest of the day?”

“I believe all of today is just devoted to aptitude testing, so no. Feel free to walk around and cheer your friends on or take a break. It’s up to you,” she said.

“It’s pretty nice out today. I’ll go see how everyone else is doing! Thanks again!” you said, waving at the woman before jogging off.

Tullia, who had gotten the same advice as you had, did similarly well to you. Mikasa and Jean were naturals with it. Mikasa looked almost bored, her newly-cut hair swaying softly in the breeze. She had decided to chop it off because, according to Eren, it would get in the way with the ODM gear. You were saddened that you wouldn’t be able to braid it anymore, but she looked good. You doubted you could pull it off as well as she did. Eren had tried to get you to cut your hair, too, but you told him in no uncertain words to screw off and worry about his own hair. You liked your hair long, and you weren’t going to just cut it because he said you should.

Armin was clearly struggling with staying upright, though this was no surprise. He was unbelievably smart, but physical pursuits had always been beyond him. Still, he endured and he prevailed, and when he was lowered, his face red and his breath coming in huffing pants, he wore a wide smile on his face.

“You did it, Min-Min! Nice job!” you said, patting him on the shoulder. He blew his hair out of his face and nodded at you, sighing in relief.

“I can’t believe it. I thought it was the fields for me, but here I am,” he said.

“Here you are,” you agreed.

“I think I’m going to sit down though. Sina, that took a lot out of me,” he said, sitting criss-cross on the ground and massaging his temples.

“Do you want me to stay here?” you said, giving him a worried glance. He shook his head.

“No, it’s fine! I’m alright. We’ll have plenty of time later to talk. Speaking of, we should hang out during one of our off days. Maybe have a tea party or something, for old times’ sake,” he said, suddenly shy.

“Sure!” you said brightly. You had missed your tea parties with Armin. Never had you thought you’d get to have one again, and you were not going to let the opportunity go to waste. You refused to take your friends for granted anymore.

“Y/N, watch this!” Connie shouted. He was currently being tested, though his examiner was sitting on the ground with his face buried in his hands.

“What, Connie?” you said.

“DO A BARREL ROLL!” Sasha shouted from where she was spinning in her ODM gear. Connie lit up at this suggestion, and your eyes widened as he prepared himself to execute the feat.

“Connie, no!” you said.

“Connie, yes!” he said, flipping backwards. To your surprise, it was nearly flawless, and he beamed at you when he had straightened, shooting you a thumbs up.

“You passed ten minutes ago! Let me lower you!” his examiner groaned.

“Wait, I did?” Connie said, freezing as he mulled this over. The examiner took advantage of the short boy’s indecision to hastily return him to the ground and undo the buckles of his ODM gear.

“Yes! By the walls, yes!” he said.

“Sick!” Connie said, marching over to stand with you before placing his hands on his hips, “Wait a moment. So I’m not a failure and a disgrace? I knew it!”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” the examiner muttered before motioning Bertholdt forward.

“Who said you were a failure and a disgrace?” you wondered. Connie winked at you.

“The voices,” he said, making wiggling motions with his fingers, presumably to represent these mysterious voices.

“Oh?” you said.

“Mhm. I’m going to go watch Sasha. You coming?” he said.

“Looking at Sasha makes me dizzy, if I’m being honest with you. I’ll just hang around here,” you said.

“Have fun, Mrs. Springer!” he said cheerfully before running off, not giving you the chance to refute his claims. You shook your head in amusement, turning and then promptly running straight into something.

No, someone. Looking up, you were met with the face of Reiner Braun. He seemed surprised, and you immediately stumbled backwards.

“Reiner! I am so so so sorry!” you said, clasping your hands in front of you as you frantically apologized for literally slamming your face into his chest. He began to laugh.

“It’s fine,” he said, waving it off dismissively.

“But I feel bad! Ugh, this is so embarrassing,” you said, facepalming at your own idiocy. Reiner was the oldest cadet, so to have done something like this to him was even worse than if you had done it to, say, Marco.

“If you want to make it up to me, you could always let me do the same to you,” he suggested. You looked down at your body and then back up at him.

“Um, no. I don’t feel that bad. Sorry,” you said. He grinned sheepishly.

“It was worth a shot,” he said.

“It really wasn’t,” you informed him. He shrugged, unaffected by the now-weird atmosphere. You decided if he wasn’t going to make a big deal about it, you weren’t either, so you resolved to forget about the entire encounter and his strange attempt at lightening the mood.

“Well, moving on, how was your aptitude test?” you said.

“Great! I passed, and that’s about all anyone can ask for. My examiner seemed pretty happy with me, so that was doubly good,” he said.

“Oh, awesome! And yeah, same, though unlike you, it wasn’t out of some sort of natural talent or skill. I already knew the theory of it all, so putting it into practice wasn’t that difficult,” you said. He patted you on the shoulder.

“S’okay, Y/N. Not everyone has to be born with special abilities, or else they wouldn’t be special, right?” he said. All of your pride in your earlier accomplishments vanished at his words. You had thought Reiner would be impressed anyways, or at least congratulate you, but with a simple sentence, he had crushed any self-confidence you had gained. You found yourself desperately wanting to prove yourself to him as someone special. Someone worthy of his praise.

“Right,” you muttered.

“Don’t worry about it so much! I’ll take care of you,” he said, puffing out his chest in an attempt to seem more masculine and strong. You didn’t have the cruelty to tell him that Mikasa and Eren had already beaten him to claiming that job.

“Thanks, Reiner, but I think I’m okay,” you said. He locked eyes with you, and something about his fierce amber gaze felt as though you had seen it before. He trapped you in place; but it was not the good kind of trapped, the way you felt when Eren looked at you. You felt like a deer being stalked by a hunter, but you shook it off. You were no deer. You didn’t know what you were, but you knew that what it wasn’t was some sort of helpless prey.

“Now you’re being silly,” he said, and the words were almost tangible, slithering down your spine like a serpent. You were cold, so very cold. You were standing directly in the sun, but it wasn’t enough. Something about the way Reiner spoke made you believe wholeheartedly that he had seen you at your weakest, during the fall of Shiganshina, being carried to safety by Petra, even if it was silly. You had only just met him yesterday, after all.

“I’m going to go find Eren,” you said. Cold, cold, only a fire could ward away this sort of chill. Reiner watched you go with eyes that tracked your every movement. He was feral and untamed, an unchained wolf running with mere lap dogs, but you were too young to see it and too naive to care.

Eren looked determined as he was strapped into the ODM gear. Catching his eye, you offered him a small smile of encouragement. This was it, his time to prove that he could be a Scout. You had no doubts about his abilities. Even you had been able to, and you weren’t anywhere near his level.

His examiner raised him up, and his eyes shone with happiness as he was doing it, he was doing it, he was really flying, just like the hero you had believed him to be when you both were children.

And then he came crashing to the ground like a bird that had broken its wings. Dust plumes raised up around him, causing you to cough as you stared at him in abject shock. Eren...had fallen. How was this possible?

A selfish part of you felt vindicated. He had failed. Eren had failed, and you hadn’t. You were better than him. You were better than him. You wanted to scream it to the world. You wanted to scream it at Reiner. You wanted Reiner to know. More than anything, you wanted Reiner to know.

Then you realized what this meant. If Eren couldn’t use the gear, he couldn’t be a Scout. If he couldn’t be a Scout, he couldn’t see the outside world. He would be stuck in the very walls he had so despised for his entire life, powerless to fight back against the monsters that had stolen your families.

“Let me try again!” Eren shouted as the examiners clicked their tongues in disappointment. They exchanged glances before hesitantly raising him again. You held your breath. He would get it this time, you knew it. He would be a Scout, and you would be better than him, and things would be alright again, and nobody would know about your horrible thoughts.

But he didn’t get it. He fell and he fell, over and over again. The ground cut at his face, and rivers of blood rushed from his head, mixing with the dry dirt, damning the earth beneath him and creating crimson mud that steamed slightly in the heat.

“I think that’s enough. He needs to get his wounds looked at before they become infected,” you interjected as he was raised again. The sun had passed its peak in the sky, and most of the other cadets had long since gone inside for lunch and to escape the afternoon’s high temperature. Only you and Eren remained, mosquitos beginning to nip at your neck. You slapped them away in irritation before giving the examiners a beseeching look.

“Girly’s right. Sorry, kiddo, doesn’t seem like you have what it takes. You can have a final try tomorrow when your head isn’t covered in blood and bruises, but you might just want to cut your losses and move on. Working in the fields isn’t that bad of an existence, you know,” the examiner said, lowering the boy to the ground, where he immediately collapsed in defeat. The examiners gave him sympathetic looks before leaving him to sob on the ground. You tentatively crept over to sit beside him.

“Come on, Eren. Let’s get you bandaged,” you said, pulling him to his feet and wincing at the injuries that littered his face. He hung his head and let you lead him to the infirmary, where you dampened a rag and wiped him off.

“You don’t look that bad now that you’re clean!” you said, trying to be optimistic, though by the dull glare he gave you, he was not convinced.

“Not that bad? You heard the examiner, I don’t have what it takes! How have I gotten this far and then been bested by the ODM gear? You were good at it, right? Tell me your secrets!” he said. You sighed and began to wrap a bandage around his forehead.

“I just got advice from Levi and Petra, that’s all. I’m not anything special,” you said. He grabbed your hands, forcing you to stop bandaging him.

“Levi like Captain Levi of the Scouts?” he said.

“Yeah, him. We’re pen pals,” you said.

“You very conveniently forgot to mention that yesterday,” Eren said through gritted teeth.

“Oops, sorry. Um, Levi and I are pen pals?” you said. He shook his head, letting you finish your task.

“Well, don’t be shy. What’s the scoop? What’s the magic key to using the gear?” he said.

“Basically, just don’t fight it. You’ve got to relax into it. Keep your muscles strong but flexible, that’s all, I guess. Oh, and staying still makes it harder to balance. It’s meant for motion, so it’s almost easier to use while in motion, if that even makes sense. Sorry, I’ll let you read the letter he sent me, it’s probably clearer. I’m not that good at describing it,” you said.

“Reading a letter that Captain Levi himself wrote? Y/N, if you let me read that, I’ll literally marry you,” he said seriously. The thought caused a funny feeling in your stomach that you put down to disgust.

“Please refrain. I do not want to marry you, remember?” you said.

“Oh. Well, can I still read the letter, at least?” he said.

“Sure, but maybe after dinner. Both of us had to skip lunch, and I’m hungry. Soon, I’ll be hangry, and then I’ll be yelling at you, my poor concussed baby,” you said with a smirk. As you had expected, he immediately turned red and glared at you.

“Let’s not forget which one of us is older here, Miss Baby!” he shouted, crossing his arms.

“Little baby Eren,” you sang, “Do you want me to swaddle you? Get you a pacifier?”

“No!” he huffed.

“Yes!” you said, “Your father taught me a little about infants. Have you been eating your vitamins?”

“Stop it. I can carry you. You’re the baby here,” he said.

“I can carry you too!” you argued.

“Oh yeah? Try it,” he dared you. Now you couldn’t back down, so with a deep breath, you wrapped your arms around him and tried to lift him off of the table he was sitting on. He did not budge, and eventually, you gave up.

“Fine, I can’t carry you, but I can use the ODM gear, so ha,” you said pettily. Eren looked crestfallen at this.

“That’s true. But you’re going to help me,” he said, and he did not frame it as a question but rather a statement. It was a fair thing to say; you would help him. Of course you would.

“Yes, but we’re going to eat. Let’s go. Hopefully we won’t be stuck with everyone’s gross leftovers again like we were yesterday. And by we I mean Tullia and I, of course,” you said.

“Okay, let’s go. Thanks for cleaning me up, by the way,” he said.

“Anytime. Hey, maybe you should ask Jean and Mikasa for help. The two of them were the best at it out of all of us,” you said.

“I’ll ask Jean, but not Mikasa,” Eren said with a shudder.

“Why not? I’m sure she’d be happy to help you,” you said as you entered the Mess Hall.

“She’d use it as a reason for why I shouldn’t be in the military. Some ‘give up on your dreams’ type of shit or something. You understand, right? You know why I can’t give up?” he said.

“I understand that you’re a stubborn little boy that does what he wants and sends everyone that tries to stop him straight to hell, yes. I know you can’t give up, and I’m not telling you you should, but at the same time, it might not be your choice. If you can’t master the gear, you can’t fight titans. It’s not a complicated concept,” you said. He deflated at the harsh words, but you knew he needed to hear them.

“I know all of that! Do you think I don’t? I just can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do!” he complained, grabbing a tray and two bowls, ladling soup into both of them and handing you the one that was slightly more full.

“Beats me. Look, Jean’s sitting by himself. We can ask him,” you said, putting a steamed potato on your plate and tossing another at Eren, who caught it deftly with one hand and nodded.

“I’m sure he’ll be able to help me! He’s a real prodigy, and a stand-up guy, too. Yeah, Jean’s great!” Eren said happily.

“Surprised to hear you of all people singing my praises, Jaeger, but I’ll admit that it’s pretty nice. Now what do you want?” Jean said as you slid onto the benches beside him. He did not even acknowledge you, and you had to admit that you felt more than a little put out by this. Still, you were sitting with Jean for Eren, not for you, so you brushed aside your feelings and motioned for your best friend to start talking.

“I need your help, Kirstein. I have to be able to use the ODM gear and, well, you’re the best at it, so what’s your advice?” he pleaded before shoving a spoonful of soup in his mouth and giving Jean an expectant look, his eyes wide with desperation.

“My advice is to either be born naturally talented or get the hell out. Weren’t you just saying yesterday that those who are weak don’t belong here and should return to the fields? How ironic,” Jean said flippantly.

“He asked you nicely. You don’t have to be a jerk about it,” you said.

“Aw, you need your little girlfriend to defend your honor?” Jean snickered.

“Seeing as you have neither, can you really be talking?” you said dryly. Both boys looked taken aback; Eren at the fact that you had not denied being his girlfriend, and Jean that you had insulted him. You sighed and stood, grabbing Eren’s arm with one hand and your tray in the other.

“What happened?” Eren said.

“He’s not going to be of any help to us. Come on, we can read Levi’s letters, and then maybe you can ask Reiner to show you or something,” you said, dragging him out of the Mess Hall with you, ignoring the way Jean glared at the both of you. What was his problem? It was like he woke up and decided to be mean, just because he could! He reminded you of Oskar, and you had never really liked Oskar.

“You didn’t say you weren’t my girlfriend earlier,” Eren pointed out. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, I wasn’t about to embarrass you further in front of everyone. I’m not cruel like that. We both know we aren’t dating and will never date. That’s all that matters, isn’t it? Now, you should be focusing more on your ODM issues than the state of our relationship. One of those is far more important than the other,” you said.

“Our relationship is important,” he muttered. You softened slightly. You had only just gotten each other back, and you were already acting like some sort of harsh taskmaster or something. True, it was for his own good, but it was also true that he probably didn’t need to be yelled at anymore than he already had been, both by you and everyone else.

“I know it is. But we can worry about all of that later, right? Let’s just make sure you don’t get kicked out of the military first, and then we’ll have enough time to properly catch up with each other,” you said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“True. I really really do not want to get kicked out of the military,” he said with a small frown.

“Wait out here. Boys aren’t allowed in the girls’ dorms, so I’ll bring the letters out here and we can go through all of them together. There’s only one that was specifically about using the ODM gear, but there might be bits and pieces throughout the others, too,” you said. Eren sat obediently on the porch of the barracks, and you ran inside to grab the mahogany box.

“That’s a lot of letters,” Eren said in awe as he stared at the stack of papers.

“We were pen pals for a year,” you said, “This is the one about the ODM. I’ll start looking through the others.”

You and Eren sat in comfortable silence for a little, rummaging through the different letters, looking for something that might help him out. For you, it was also a trip down memory lane, reminiscing over the different things you and Levi had talked about.

“This is really cool. It’s like an inside look at all of the things the Scouts do. You’re really lucky to have these,” he said. You peered over his shoulder to see which letter in particular he was referring to. It was one about Hange’s experiments. The eccentric scientist was somebody Levi had an interesting relationship with. It was always humorous to read about, at least.

To be honest, you found Hange’s work fascinating. You had been interested in human anatomy when you were younger, and you were eager to learn about whether it applied to titans, as well. You had expressed this interest to Levi in one of your letters, and in the next one, there was a messily scrawled footnote from the scientist herself, along with several of her journals. Though you could not understand most of it, it was still interesting, and you often pored over her research when you were bored.

“Levi really helped me through a lot,” you agreed, “I was...kind of a mess at first. After the fall, you know. Petra and Tullia were there for the worst of it, and then Levi gave me some tough love, and eventually, I realized I would be okay. You were gone, but I would be okay. Yet here you are.”

“I never thought about that. I at least had Armin and Mikasa, but you had no one,” he said. You let out a soft sigh and leaned your head on his shoulder, making yourself comfortable against him and continuing to read.

“Not no one. The Rals and Levi are like family now, and besides, you’re back, so it’s a moot point. And you don’t get to leave me again, you hear? Never again. Even if I came to terms with it, the years I spent thinking you were dead were the worst in my life. I can’t go through that again,” you said, putting the letter in your hands down and picking up a new one.

“I won’t, but you can’t leave me either. Don’t forget, we thought you were dead, too. We’ve been together since we were two. Losing you was like losing a part of myself, the best part,” he said, resting his cheek against your hair.

“Sounds like we’re stuck together, Jaeger,” you said.

“Sounds like it,” he agreed, sounding pleased at the prospect.

“Well, have you found anything in these letters that might help? I’d really rather not leave the military, but if you get kicked out, then that’s what I might have to do. I doubt I’m cut out for working in the fields, but I’m sure there’s always brothels hiring,” you said, considering this. Life as a prostitute would be cruel and unyielding, and it was not something you ever wanted to do, but you did not have the strength to work in the fields for days.

“No way in hell are you working in a brothel!” Eren said, horrified, “You stay in the military, understand? Don’t follow me if that’s your next option.”

“Or maybe you could just not get kicked out,” you offered.

“That’s the plan, but so far, all I’ve learned is that Levi thinks that Hange is a barbarian for putting three sugar cubes in her tea instead of the standard two, and he believes that Petra makes the best tea in his squad,” he said.

“Oh, did he really say that? I must’ve missed it when I read that letter! I’ve gotta tell Tullia! Uh, after we figure out this ODM situation. The truth is, I doubt we’re going to find much more in these letters, though. Most of them are along the lines of that one in the sense that they’re personal things, not military guidebooks. I’m really sorry I couldn’t be of more help,” you said.

“That’s okay. Don’t blame yourself,” he said, letting out a defeated sigh and putting the letters back in their box before neatly closing the lid and giving you a sad smile.

“Come on,” you said, tucking the box under your arm and standing abruptly, pulling him to his feet.

“Where?” he said as you dragged him after you.

“Reiner! Reiner’s strong and talented and good at everything. I’m sure he can help you!” you said in excitement.

“You sure do have a high opinion of Reiner,” Eren commented.

“Duh, of course I do! Have you seen him? He’s amazing! Only Mikasa’s better than him overall, and obviously she is, because she’s Mikasa. If anyone can help you, it’s him!” you gushed as you ran across the courtyard to the boys’ barracks where Reiner and Betholdt probably were staying.

“I guess so,” he said.

“I know so! Now, I’m not allowed in there, so you’ll have to ask him for his help by yourself. You can do that, right?” you said, looking up at him. He scoffed.

“’Course I can, I’m not a chicken. You should probably get to bed now, it’s getting late,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, you’re right. Okay, goodnight Eren! Good luck! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you tomorrow,” you said, hugging him tightly before dashing off to the room you shared with Tullia.

The blonde girl was in there, punching a pillow, though why she was doing such a thing, you had no clue.

“What did that poor pillow ever do to you?” you said.

“It bears an unfortunate resemblance to Jean Kirstein’s face,” she responded, still busily punching the pillow.

“I’m sorry, I can’t really see it,” you admitted.

“Use your imagination,” she said, waving you off dismissively before sighing and tossing the pillow aside, collapsing on her bed. You raised an eyebrow at her.

“Done?”

“For the moment,” she said, laying down and resting her head on the very pillow she had just been brutally beating.

“What did Jean do?” you said, changing into your nightclothes and giving her an expectant look.

“It would be better to ask what he didn’t do, but since you asked what he did do, I’ll give you the full story. Basically, he’s a stupid jackass that thinks he’s so cool and amazing just because he’s attractive! Guess what? HE’S UGLY!” she screamed.

“Very ugly,” you agreed.

“SUPER UGLY! He is not pretty enough to be getting away with the shenanigans he tries to get away with!” she raved.

“No pretty privilege for Jean.”

“None! He thinks he can just ignore me? I was trying to be nice so I sat with him, this has nothing to do with my crush by the way, I sat next to him at dinner and I was like ‘hey Jean, how have you been?’ AND GUESS WHAT THE ASSHOLE DID?”

“He didn’t talk to you.”

“HE DIDN’T TALK TO ME! He just looked at me like a stupid fish or something, all open mouthed,” Tullia took a breath to demonstrate the exact facial expression she was referring to, “Then he like squeaked and left? Ugh!”

“Maybe he likes you and got shy. I mean, most people don’t really squeak,” you suggested. Tullia threw the pillow at you, and it hit you square in the face as she blushed but scowled.

“Impossible! Right? Wait, what if you’re right? This is all so complicated!” she said.

“Oh, I have an idea! We can write Levi! He’s a guy, I’m sure he knows all about this sort of thing,” you said, snapping your fingers together in pride at this brilliant idea before reaching under your bed to pull out the stationery you had brought with you for this exact purpose.

“Y/N, you’re literally a genius. By the walls, this is perfect! Levi is going to come through, I just know it. This is why Petra likes him,” Tullia said, shaking her head and watching you as you began to write.

“Okay, I’ll put it in the mailbox tomorrow. We should get the response in a couple of days. Just play it cool with Jean until then, you know? Keep it relaxed, don’t avoid him but don’t seek him out either. Let him decide what he wants to do,” you said.

“I’m so glad I talked to you about this. I’m tired now, though, mind blowing out the candle? Punching that pillow took a lot out of me,” she said, yawning and pulling her blanket up around her shoulders.

“I can only imagine. Yeah, I’m tired too. I had to spend the entire day watching Eren fail miserably with the ODM gear,” you said, blowing out the candle and crawling into your own bed.

“Ouch. You think he’ll be able to pass tomorrow?”

“I hope so. I only just got him back. How cruel would it be for the universe to take him again? Besides, being a Scout is his dream. Armin, Mikasa, and I are only along for the ride. Well, Min-Min wants to see the sea. I guess that’s his dream. Mikasa wants us all to be happy and safe, that’s all she cares about. As for me? I guess my biggest goal is to be worth something. I want to be remembered, Tullia,” you said.

“Remembered?” she said, half-asleep.

“Remembered,” you affirmed, “I want to do something important. I want to change the world, you know?”

“Go to bed. You’re way too fucking philosophical when you don’t get your eight hours,” Tullia groaned, her bed creaking as she rolled over. You let out a small laugh.

“Yeah, okay. Goodnight, Tullia.”

“Good-fucking-night.”

The next day, you downed your breakfast in a few gulps before heading to Commandant Shadis’s office to send your letter to Levi. Once that was done, you joined everyone outside to watch Eren get raised for his final try.

“Did he ever end up asking you for help?” you said, standing next to Reiner, who smiled and nodded at you in greeting.

“Yeah, he did. Him, Bertholdt, Armin, and I went out and had a good long talk last night. I don’t know if it did anything, but it seemed to light a fire in him, at least. Man, that kid’s got more determination in his pinky finger than most people have in their entire bodies. It’s admirable,” he said as the examiners lifted Eren up.

“He’s amazing, isn’t he?” you said, watching as the boy managed to balance. He was doing it! He was doing it. All of your worries had been for nothing. You let out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t going to be kicked out of the military.

You spoke far too soon, as Eren once again fell, his face slamming into the dust. Sympathetic murmurs broke out, and from beside you, Reiner shifted slightly.

“That was weird. It looked like he was doing everything right,” he muttered. You gave Reiner a wide-eyed look.

“You think somebody sabotaged him?” you said.

“Nah, but maybe a malfunction. Look, the Commandant agrees, it’s why he’s getting him to switch belts with Thomas,” Reiner said, motioning towards where Eren was putting on Thomas Wagner’s belt, a bewildered look on both boys’ faces.

“Woah,” you said as Eren hung proudly in the air, not even wobbling once, “So he managed to balance for a few seconds without proper gear? He’s even more amazing than I thought!”

Too amazing. He was better than you, yet again. You were nothing and nobody more than an afterthought. For once, you were almost jealous of how bright he was. He was a roaring inferno, and you were just a campfire, flickering feebly next to his brilliance.

Still, when he smiled at you in pride, as if he were showing you that yes, he had done it, as if he were begging you to be proud of him, too, you found it all too easy to smile back. If it was your fate to always be second to him, then you would be the best second there had ever been, and if you were cursed to be a pawn to his king, then you would let him manipulate you as he pleased.

Levi’s response to your letter came earlier than you had expected. You and Tullia ripped it open eagerly, waiting to see what words of wisdom the legendary Captain had sent you. For some reason, the paper was littered with spots where it looked like tears had fallen and dried, as if he had had some sort of a mental breakdown while writing.

Dear Brat,

I’m a thirty two year old virgin. Don’t fucking ask me about boys ever again.

Sincerely, Captain Levi Survey Corps, Special Operations Squad

“Well, there goes that idea. Looks like we’ll have to figure out this Jean mystery the old-fashioned way: by talking to him,” you sighed.

“Oh, call me a lunchbox and fuck me! This is awful!” Tullia said, throwing her hands up in the air in despair. You gave her a startled look.

“What? Actually, no. Do not elaborate on that.”

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