#i love omen being a liquid

[kaiserouo]

what

[lxciferuss]

Ms. Ackerman

Summary: Levi's newest Squad and yours are both bickering about the humanities strongest soldier's questionable relationship status. They however didn't imagine he'd be married, and to you out of all people.

Warnings: Husband!Levi x Fem!Captain!Wife!Reader. Swearing. Teenagers arguing about dumb stuff. Reader is around Levi's age so it's all legal. "S/N" stands for (your) Squad's Name. SFW!

English isn't my first language, so sorry for any mistakes. Enjoy!

The distant chatter echoed through the bricked walls to the main hall, where the members of Squad Levi, without their captain, were engaged on a—way too serious—debate about Levi's love-life. Not even the thick, tall wooden doors were able to muffle the constant screams of disagreement between the cadets.

"No! There's no way in hell he's even had his first kiss. Ever!" Connie argued against Mikasa, who was the most hopeful for her Captain and his private issues. She was sat between Eren and Armin, calmly sipping on a cup of freshly brewed coffee while silently enyojing the discussion.

"To be honest, I doubt anyone would ever want to be with him. Have you seen the way he glares at everybody?" Jean jumped in, his face contortioned into an expression of fear and disgust together. "I would not speak a word to him, man or woman."

"I highly doubt he'd even look your way, Jean. You might even be some sort of omen in his day to day." One of your soldiers said, entering the warm, barely lit room. The rest of your squad got in after him, sitting themselves down on the wooden table so to accompany the teenagers. Some others decided to prop themselves up against the wall as there was no space left on the benches.

"My condolences to whoever might be his partner." They all laughed together, even Sasha—who was previously too busy stealing away Connie's dinner to even listen.

"Who's partner are y'all bullying now?" Levi's tone was annoyed and raspy, he glared at the group of cadets that were out, past their bedtime, being obnoxiously loud despite their superior's orders to hush.

His squad froze in fear, stopping all movements as if he couldn't see them that way. Eren gulped, thick, wide eyes looking back at his captain.

Your squad just shut up, smug smiles still plastered all over their faces. They knew better than to try and explain themselves out of Levi's punishment.

"Go spend your time on something wise. This stupid bickering is gonna do nothing to that smooth brain of yours." He sighed, eyebrows knitted together on a deep frown. For times like this he almost regretted choosing a bunch of teens to be part of his mighty squad. Almost.

"I mean- C'mon Captain. When are you gonna tell us 'bout your love li- ow!" Springer held the back of his head, which had been smacked by Mikasa in an attempt to shut him up before he doomed them all.

"Hm?" Levi lifted an eyebrow, wide eyes looking at the group in front of him. He decided to go and make some tea in hopes of freeing himself from the situation.

"Like- Have you got a girlfriend...boyfriend...ever?" Jean spoke and his teamed groaned in defeat. Fifty laps around the training fields weren't sounding so terrible now.

Levi huffed, rolling his eyes as his lips touched the steaming hot liquid on his porcelain cup. He shook his head in disbelief, acting deaf to the questions.

"No offense, Captain, we just don't see you as someone who would have a romantic partner, that's all." Another soldier of yours spoke, nervously tapping their foot on the ground.

"Again, i do not see why my life should be a matter of yours." He sat down on the table besides the younger's, crossing his legs and resting his arm on the back of the wooden chair.

"Please! We want to know!" Sasha whined, mouth full of rice, which made Levi scrunch his nose up in disgust.

Another deep sigh left through his nose, deciding to answer the kids and put an end to the conversation asap.

"If I tell you, will you shut the fuck up?" He groaned, massing his temple with his free hand.

His squad and yours both beamed with happiness, nodding excitedly at the Captain's will to reveal a fact so private.

"Such a pain in the ass." He muttered under his breath, lowering his cup on the table. "I don't have a girlfriend."

Jean's laugh resonated through the walls, hitting Armin in the back and shaking him violently. "I was right! You heard, Mikasa? He doesn't even have a-"

"I'm married; I have a wife."

And suddenly, the room was silent. Mouths agape, the teens turned to look at him, expecting to see some sort of hint of lying on his face.

Levi resumed his tea-drinking, eager to get both teams back to their dorms sooner than ever.

"Sorry, I just- What kind of person would marry you?" A cadet of yours asked, her face still portraying a big shock.

"Why don't you ask your captain instead?"

"Ask me what?" You entered the room with a wide smile, all twelve soldiers automatically saluting. "Captain" you greeted Levi with a deeper voice. He nodded back to you.

"They were asking what kind of person would marry me." His grey eyes glinted as he looked at you, leather straps still attached around your body.

"Oh?" You let out a small giggle, sitting down on top of the table Levi was at, not bothering to pull out a chair. "And what kind of person do you think I am?"

If Jean's jaw was already on the floor, it would easily reach the cellar on the basement below them after the big revelation. Even your squad was a loss of words, exchanging glances between each other.

"Squad Levi, S/N, you are dismissed." Your smile widened at their faces.

"But-"

"Now." Levi's stern voice made everyone rush out of the dinning hall and get back to their dorm room.

"Time you set some limits." You shoved him in the shoulder, a smug grin adorning your lips.

"Time I get a new Squad." He murmured as you both got up and slowly left the hall too, enjoying the rare peace and quiet of the headquarters at night.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Pt I australia but i've never been there

A lot of my lovely maggots are Australian, it appears, judging by the number of Australian families I was just randomly adopted by. So this one goes out to you all, but very especially to Arthur (@howmanyholesinswisscheese) and to his grandmother's boyfriend Brian, who reminds him occasionally of me. I'm truly honoured.

Disclaimer: I did my research on tumblr, pinterest, and the first result of a couple of Google searches, because I'm thorough like that. I say part I because there is a lot.

I'm not sure what Australia is, because the education system failed me. They said it was a continent. But then a country. I figured it was both.

Unfortunately, then I learned about Oceania. Which I had thought was a made up undersea kingdom in that Barbie a Mermaid's Tale series, where people surf. But the continent is Australia and Oceania. Or not.

They have Prime Ministers. I know this, because one ate a raw onion which became instrumental in his later sacking, and another demanded to know what the odds were of a Prime Minister drowning.

He then drowned. Or maybe vanished into the Barbie kingdom of Oceania and became a merman. We will never know, because his body was never recovered, so my money's on the merman theory. Australians proceeded to name everything to do with water after him, from swimming pools to ships, because Irony.

H2O Just Add Water was set here, I think. I am not sure what that is, aside from a show where contact with liquid dihydrogen monoxide causes bodily transformation into a mermaid. Do the Australian mermaids not drink water? Not knowing any personally, I can't ask.

Aside from the concerning number of merpeople, there are also a concerning number of spiders. I love spiders, but apparently the ones in Australia will eat your flesh. After I watch Good Omens S2, I suspect I will welcome this fate.

For morons like me who see a spider and go AWW, Peppa Pig's episode on teaching kids not to be afraid of spiders was banned in Australia for endangering children and not being appropriate for Australian audiences.

Sydney is a place and it has an opera house. Melbourne is a place and it has a stadium (of what sport, I am unsure). Queensland is a place and it has Arthur's grandmum's boyfriend Brian.

There is a thing called Milo, and it is a brown powder that I assume is edible. Mums say to add a teaspoon (hence why I assumed edibility) and the children add a truckful. I infer it is nice.

There is marmite. I have known this for a while. Tourists spread a lot of it on their bread. This is a mistake. Do not. The original ad involved someone eating marmite happily, and their partner kissing them on the mouth and proceeding to gag violently. It is fermented beer waste. You either hate it or love it.

There is fairy bread. If you have sticks on it you are a monster. If you have balls on it you are smart.

I'm already writing part II. humans bewilder me.

[whatitsdecending]

Chokehold: Pt. XI

Vessel x Reader x Noah Sebastian

Word Count: 3.2k

Time has passed since your encounter with Noah, a close to that chapter of your life that left you feeling like a weight had lifted off your chest. Now with Vessel being the sole lover in your life, you couldn’t be any happier.

Content warning: shameless flirting and nice fluff moments

A/N: This is the final chapter of Chokehold. I’m very thankful for all the love and support over this fic for the last year :,) and even if I sucked at updating sometimes, you were all still so lovely and supportive!! After I upload this, the alternate ending will go up as well. Thank you again and I hope you love this ending as much as I do <3

—————————

Six Months Later

You stared out the kitchen window as you watched Vessel cut the grass under the warm August sun. You’d become distracted from the project you worked on when you noticed he was shirtless, his skin glistening with sweat as he focused on the task. Even if you were eight months into your relationship, you still gaped at his shirtless figure like you were seeing it for the first time.

The timer for the oven beeped and you begrudgingly dragged your attention from the man outside in order to take the muffins out of the oven.

It’s been a lovely and strange six months, somehow you ended up in the muffin making business and pleased a lot of people in the area with them. It was what you did on the side when the band was off from touring.

Oh yeah, that’s right.

After that fight with Noah, you made the decision to stop working with Bad Omens after the tour ended. It was hard, you cried in your bunk each night leading up to the last show because you could not face the fact you were leaving some of your closest friends. But you knew in the end it would be so much better for you to leave, to be away from Noah and continue your career elsewhere.

When you returned back to the UK, Vessel was ready for you with his arms opened wide and the raging urge to beat Noah into a pulp for what he did.

On a quiet night towards the end of the tour you took the time to call Vessel and explain everything. You cried and screamed as you went over every detail, being greeted by silence as he listened to your words carefully. He was angry. So, so angry and to the point you never thought he’d be able to reach.

After that disaster, Vessel decided to take you on vacation for a week to somewhere warm and relaxing. It was very needed, not just for you, but for your relationship with him. Spending a week with only each other was another step up in your relationship, and you left that hotel with quite a few noise complaints.

“Smells good in here.” His voice drew you from your memories as he waltzed in the backdoor, heading to the fridge to grab himself a cold water bottle. You smiled at him and went back to working on a new mixture of batter. He came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you against his sweaty body.

“You’re all sweaty! Go shower before you hold me.” You protested, elbowing him gently in the side.

He nuzzled his face against your neck, sending shivers down your spine as his nose grazed along the sensitive flesh. “You can join me in being really sweaty, darling.” You paused and slowly turned to face him, his light eyes darkened when he noticed the smirk on your face.

“That’s very tempting.” You ran your finger along the gleaming skin of his chest. “But I have muffins to make and you need a shower.” He groaned and rested his forehead against yours. “Maybe later.”

“Mmm, okay.” He kissed your forehead and turned away, taking a swig of the water as he walked to the stairs. You chuckled to yourself as you returned to the mixture, adding in the dry components to mix with the liquid.

Time passed by and you were transferring the muffins for a couple orders into a designated container for each, making sure to write little notes for each customer thanking them for their business. You heard Vessel’s footsteps crossing the wooden floors over to you, and giggled when he wrapped his arms around you again.

“Am I up to your standards now?” He asked. You glanced over your shoulder, his hair was wet and he was still shirtless, but this time a towel was wrapped around his waist.

“God, Ves.” You chuckled as a blush crept over your cheeks. “You are very horny today.”

He pulled you tighter against his chest. “Well if you had a woman as beautiful as you living in your home, I think you’d be the same way.” Your face grew hot as the blush became more apparent.

His hand brushed your ponytail off your shoulder and he rested his head in the crook of your neck. “I mean it, Y/N. You’re the most beautiful woman I know.”

“You flatter me, Ves.”

“And I always mean it, every single time.” You turned to face him and he moved his hands so they now rested on your hips. His eyes glistened in the late afternoon sun that streamed through the windows, a twinkle of admiration hitting you as you stared at him. You pushed one of the damp strands of his hair behind his ear, leaving your hand to rest on his cheek.

“I’m so happy to have you.” It was a whisper that came out of your mouth, but it was enough to make his lips spread in a small smile. “I don’t know what I’d be doing right now if we never met…” You swallowed hard at the thought. “I don’t think I’d feel so much more at peace than I do now.” You leaned in and pressed a kiss on his cheek where your hand had laid, then turned back to what you were doing before. You didn’t expect him to respond, in fact, you didn't want him to. You just wanted those words out and wanted him to hear them, because he needed to and deserved to.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, just as your hands were covered with chocolate. “Ves, could you get that for me?” The feeling of your phone being pulled out of your back pocket made you glance over your shoulder to see who was calling.

“When did IV start calling you before me?” Vessel faked the offense and answered the phone. “Hello my lovely lady… No, she's busy making her muffins and her hands are all dirty… Okay, we’ll be there.” He paused for a moment as you overheard IV rambling off about something. “Okay, yep. See you then, love ya bye.” He hung up the call and put the phone back in your pocket.

“What was that all about?” You asked, finishing putting the muffins that covered your hands in chocolate into their rightful container. You found the paper towel that was slightly damp and used it to wipe the contents from your hands.

He shrugged. “Guess he’s hosting a dinner at his place tonight, I told him we’d be there.” He looked over to the stack of containers on the table. “Are you all done for the day or do you need some help?”

You pulled your apron off from over your head and sighed. “I’m definitely done for the day. When does he want us there?”

“Mmm… in like an hour.” He stepped away from you once he said that, laughing at the look of horror on your face.

“I need to get clean then, oh my god.” You rushed to the stairs and took them by twos. “Someone really needs to teach IV how to better plan his get-togethers!” All you heard was his hearty laughter as he slowly followed you up the stairs, the sound becoming muffled as you practically threw yourself into the shower to clean off the evidence of your day spent baking.

You were out of the shower in five minutes, rushing to the sink so you can start your makeup. Nothing too fancy, just something to make it look like you were slightly human.

Vessel was already dressed, something casual enough to tell you it was not necessary for you to find a nice outfit to wear. T-shirt and jeans, that’s all they were getting today.

“II asked if you could bring any extra muffins you might have.” Vessel said as you both began the descent downstairs, laughing as you sighed loudly.

“That one really just loves muffins, doesn’t he?” You walked into the kitchen to check your overflow of muffins. “He’s lucky I made an extra batch.”

Vessel mused from the archway into the kitchen. “No, I think he just enjoys your recipe a lot. Who wouldn’t though?” You rolled your eyes as you packed a container specifically for the dinner party, hoping II doesn’t steal the entire thing and hide it in his car like he did the last time.

The car ride that you’ve grown to know so well to IV’s house was full of you and Vessel singing along to whatever music you decided to play, this time it was Disney songs. You did your best to find all the songs that were a duet and the two of you battled it out on who sang which character’s part of the duet.

Vessel ended up being Anna for “Love Is An Open Door”.

You pulled up to IV’s house just as III was getting out of his car, pulling a case of beer with him from the passenger seat. He waved to the two of you and waited for you as you two got out of the car.

“Well look who we have here.” He said, his free arm open wide to invite you in for a hug. You happily hugged him as best as you could with the container of muffins in your hands.

This was the one thing that happened since February that changed you; sitting down with III and finally discussing what occurred on Christmas. He was very, very apologetic about it and explained it was the part of him that is protective over Vessel and anyone else who has such a big impact in his life.

You understood every single word he said and took no offense. It made complete sense, the past you had with Noah and how unsure you were for a while about what he meant to you and what you meant to him. III’s protectiveness of Vessel was not something that was going to push you away, and after the talk with him you knew it was something you’d grow to appreciate.

Now, III was your best friend.

“I wanted to ask if you were bringing any muffins,” he said as he held open the door for you. “But I had the feeling someone already asked.” As he said that, II came running from the kitchen and snatched the container from your hands and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, then ran to the kitchen.

“I hope you’re not hiding those from everyone else.” You called after him.

IV’s laughter filled the house. “You can’t be serious, II.” You all filtered into the kitchen just in time to see him attempting to sneak the container into a cabinet that no one would think of going through. You erupted into laughter at the sight of him on top of the counter, reaching as high as he can into the cabinet.

“I knew they were good, but I didn’t think they were this good.” You breathed as you wiped the tears from the corner of your eyes. II gave up and climbed back down, putting the container on the counter so they would be ready for when dessert was served.

“It smells so good in here, IV.” Vessel said, coming up behind his friend and clapping him on the shoulder in greeting. “Need a hand with anything?” He observed the pan in front of IV, trying to see if there was anything he could do.

“I’m all good with the food, but,” he glanced over his shoulder at II. “Please take him outside, he is talking my ear off.”

II faked offense. “Me? Talking your ear off? No!” IV only flipped him off as a response and went back to focusing on dinner. III dragged II outside with him, you followed them with plates in your hands and Vessel carried the silverware out.

You always loved IV’s backyard, especially this summer since he decorated it to have a more cozy vibe. He strung up lights on the tree that hung over most of the yard, the strings crossed overhead and were wrapped around the posts of the fence. The table he had out here was a simple long black table that he covered with a cloth for dinners. He really knew how to make a space look lovely.

You set out the plates for everyone, Vessel following you and setting the silverware down. You listened to III and II talk about the latest music news with a small smile on your face. Your home might be the place you grew accustomed to with Vessel, but you’re always going to feel like you’ve got a family when you’re around these guys.

Although you have your parents back in the states, and their support of you moving in with Vessel here was beyond anything you could’ve imagined, you couldn’t help but smile at these four guys you now considered family. And for the future, when they eventually bring around a significant other, you can’t wait to welcome them into this family with open arms.

You sat down at the seat you always took and Vessel sat beside you, setting a drink down in front of you both. You could feel his stare as you watched the others have a beer chugging contest, a laugh escaping you when most of III’s drink spilled down his chest.

“You’re glowing, darling.” Vessel said, his voice low to keep from gaining attention from anyone else but you. You turned in your seat to face him, his eyes glimmering with admiration as they were fixed on your face.

You smiled. “I’m happy, Ves.”

“That’s all I want for you.” He whispered, leaning closer and letting you close the gap between you for a kiss. “I have something for you.” He muttered against your lips. You opened your eyes and followed his gaze downward to his hand, and you could not help but gasp.

A beautiful ring rested in the palm of his hand. Nothing too extravagant, but a simple silver band with small sapphire stones surrounding one larger emerald in the center.

“A-Are you…?” You stumbled out as you stared at the ring.

“No,” he chuckled. “I wouldn’t do that to you now, I’m giving you a promise ring.”

“Oh.” You sighed, a small bit of relief that you weren’t being proposed to right now. A promise ring though, a sweet sentiment that you always considered to be the first step towards a future proposal. This you would wholeheartedly accept.

He moved the ring to your left ring finger, sliding it on and you marveled at the perfect fit. “I’m not saying I want you to promise anything too crazy now. But there is just one thing.”

“What?” You whispered, barely audible over the sounds of III’s laughter.

“All I want is for you to be happy. I’ve seen you change so much in less than a year, and seeing you glowing with happiness is the one thing I want for you.” He took your hands into his and pressed his lips to the left one. “Promise me that you’ll always be happy, that if there was anything that was negative in your life, we could figure it out. And if I had to fight for you to keep that beautiful smile on your face, I would. I would do anything for you, Y/N.”

Tears began streaming down your face at some point, you only became aware when he brushed a tear from your cheek. “Ves… I-I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything if you can’t right now. I know that was a lot.” He said, caressing your face with his hand.

“I love you. And I promise.” You pressed another kiss against his lips, savoring the warmth of his lips against yours.

“DID YOU FUCKING PROPOSE?” II’s shout caused the two of you to jump in your seats, turning to the slack faced men across the table as they stared at the ring on your finger.

You started to laugh at how shocked they were. “No guys, it’s just a promise ring.”

“Oh thank god.” III said. “I don’t think I’m ready to be your wedding planner yet.” He patted II on the back as the shorter one kept a hand to his chest, clearly freaking out over everything.

“I’m assuming it went well.” IV said as he stepped out from the kitchen with a platter of food in his hands. He set it down in the center of the table and went back to grab the rest, the smells of the savory dinner wafting through the breeze.

After he sat down on the other side of you, everyone began to dig in.

You eyed IV as he took bits of each thing he made and put it on his plate. “You knew the entire time?”

He smirked. “That’s why we’re all here.”

“We didn’t know it was planned.” II pointed between himself and III.

“I needed some added dramatics with your reaction.” Vessel said.

“Of course you did.” III mumbled from across the table, shaking his head at Veszel.

“What was that?” Vessel cocked his head at his friend, earning a small chuckle from II.

“Love you too honey.” III said and flicked him off from across the table. You laughed and finally dug into your food, listening to IV as he explained everything that he made for dinner. You knew that Vessel would be asking for the recipes just by looking at his plate that was almost clean.

After dinner, IV put together a fire in the pit and III helped him make sure it was an “impressive size”. You helped II bring out the desserts and set them up on the table, smacking his hand every so often as he reached for one of the muffins you were trying to lay out.

Once the fire was good enough to satisfy III, you all took seats around the fire and basked in its warmth as the night turned cool. Vessel held you against his side and you rested your head on his shoulder. You listened intently to the stories that the guys spoke of, ranging from stupid things they did as teenagers in school to a sticky situation they got into one night while on tour.

Vessel’s body vibrated with laughter as they recalled these memories. You don’t think you’ve ever seen either of them laugh this hard, to the point where they had to take five minutes to breathe.

You talked long into the night, eventually getting too tired to keep a conversation going and deciding it was time to get home. The drive home was quiet, the sound of the tires on the road luring you close to sleep.

Vessel’s hand rested on your thigh, gently rubbing your skin with his thumb as he focused on the road. You placed your hand on top of his and it made his attention turn to you for just a moment.

Not once since February did you ever doubt you made the wrong decision, but right now as you admired the man you fell in love with in such a short period of time, you knew deep down that your decision was the best one you could have ever made.

[noforkingclue]

For a request, Dark Aziraphale/Crowley/reader. The reader manages to get loose and needs to be found and brought home. Describe the consequences or how they'd discourage said "bad behaviour". Please and thank you!

Yay, a Good Omens request and a dark one as well!!! I love writing for Good Omens so feel free to send in more requests for it :)

Title: Freedom?

Warnings: dark fic, imprisonment, drugging

Good Omens tag list: @mxacegrey

Everything tag list: greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites spngingerbread21,  @layazul,  @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

You shivered as you pulled your thin coat around you. You only had a slim opportunity to escape so you had to take it when you did. You grimaced as the rain soaked through your coat but you were relieved to see a bus stop coming up. All you had to do was hope that a bus would come quickly. You cursed when you saw that it wasn’t a bus stop with a shelter.

Oh well.

You were free.

Finally fucking free.

You tensed as you heard footsteps approach you but kept your gaze pointedly on the ground. You just wanted to be left alone and get on the bus and-

You stiffened as you heard a familiar rustle and the rain stopped. You looked up at a brilliantly white wing and an arm was wrapped around you. You had no choice but to let yourself be embraced by the angel.

“Oh you poor thing,” said Aizraphel, “you’re soaked. Here, let me warm you up.”

You closed your eyes and you felt your clothes dry and a pleasant warmness engulf you. It was like you were being wrapped in a blanket that was just out of the washing machine. Aziraphale smiled and pressed a kiss against your temple.

“Better?” he asked and you nodded in response, “Good. Now let’s get back to the shop. You can have a nice cup of tea and we can have a chat.”

You felt the tears drip down your face as the familiar sensation of being teleported engulfed you. When you next opened your eyes you were back in the bookshop. You were gently pushed into a chair and Aziraphale disappeared as he went to make you a cup of tea. You pulled your legs up to your chest as you once again enjoyed the peace of your solitude.

However, that wasn’t to last.

You felt a pair of arms wrap around you. A pointed chin rest of top of your head and you stiffened under Crowley’s embrace. Unlike Aziraphale you could feel that anger radiate from him. As if he had known of the presence of the other, Aziraphale appeared. He beamed at the two of you as he pushed the tea into your hands.

“Drink,” he said, “You’ll feel better after.”

Right. Almost certainly drugged then.

“It’s a bit hot,” you muttered, “I’ll let it cool down.”

“Of course,” Aziraphale gave you a soft smile, “we don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

He brushed your cheek with the back of his hand and you resisted the urge to flinch away.

“She hurt us,” Crowley said, “don’t you think-”

“Hush, dear,” Aziraphale scolded gently, “let’s not think about that now.”

“Then when,” Crowley hissed his grip tightening, “actions have consequences.”

“I know but look at her,” Aziraphale said, “she clearly wasn’t thinking. Not in her right mind.”

Crowley gripped your chin tightly and forced you to look into his eyes. You were correct, he was angry but there was also a hint of something else. Could that be worry? Your hands shook at his action, causing some hot tea to spill onto your hands. Immediately Aziraphale took the cup away. He blew on it and held it up to your lips. You felt the burns on your fingers heal and he raised the cup to your lips.

“Here,” he said, “it should be cool enough for you to drink now. Then we can all get some well deserved rest.”

You had no choice but to open your mouth and drink the liquid. Crowley pressed his lips against your hair and you felt yourself slip into the comforting darkness.

“And tomorrow,” you heard Crowley say, “we can discuss our new arrangements.”

[lovelettermemes]

MOMENTS FROM THE GROUPCHAT.

💌 a sentence meme collection of comments made in the groupchat collected for roleplay purposes. adjust as necessary!

"how do i choose between horny and violence???"

"task manager please. but task manager is my fingers."

"I am anticipating the noodle."

"liquid alcoholic marzipan, what could go wrong?"

"y'know what? fuck it. quiche."

"if i dont piss on the moon, who will?"

"i thought me getting a sore throat was my voice finally changing but no-- it was man flu".

"i feel like i'm being waterboarded."

"everyday i am teased with a cheese wheel."

"don't autocorrect my oxford comma!"

"you nearly killed me, you have to face the consequences!!"

"little worm little worm. fluffy pink little worm. you can live in my head rent free."

"father, it has been a week since my last sporticus fancam."

"i want to choke you until you DIE. … in the cute way!"

"you said motivate you, not don't lie to you."

"you don't know the wrath you're invoking, i'm on hormone therapy!"

"full offense meant, you're full of shit."

"i make the milk, you drink the milk!"

"so i think i emasculated him. all in a days work!"

"i wouldn't just dab."

"you have teeth, dipshit, they came free with your fucking xbox!"

"leave my husband's wife alone!!!"

"alright. let's venture forth or whatever the fuck they say."

"i was actually thinking of bringing pocket sand from the desert-"

"i will not be bested by a piece of elasticated string!"

"i can't even kill a vibe!"

"can i give you more money so you love me?"

"i got too cocky with my fists."

"i do it all for the little dissociation laughs!"

"just brand me a slut so i can get on with dinner."

"once more, a white boy changes my vocabulary."

"am i in an enemies to lovers relationship with my cartilage?"

"so, not only was it a crime of passion, it was phallic!"

"abdication. or death. which is a form of abdication, i suppose."

"we got through an entire bag of dirt!"

"when i'm about to die, it will not be a crow that is the omen, but a seagull."

"i will take the wet blanket to mordor."

"please, my self worth is based on grades and academia, the assignment is all i know, all i have."

"wouldn't it be funny if i was an alien?"

"it could have done with another pair of hands, but its a one person job if i'm the only one doing it."

"don't cite the deep magic to me, i'm liam neeson."

"when you look at the big picture, and kitchen witchery, onions are a basic human right."

"no-one's allowed to go to the aquarium without me, i am the fish!"

"i think it should be illegal for your eyes to pulse!"

"i'll be sat, what am i gonna do, faint?"

"i'm the bullet bill now."

"i wanna be mischief, i wanna be a creature!!!"

"frankly if my participation trophy could always be a hot goth death omen i would never miss another sports day again."

"a thousand words being communicated through this stare…. none of them good."

"i can make him worse, and I will!"

"you know, that little bit of RSD that comes with murder?"

"i've done worse things in my metaphors than boil frogs!!"

"whenever someone walks over my grave I always assume it's jesus."

"i said i was a gold digger, i didn't say i was a good one!"

"before i say anything i need you guys to promise not to do this-"

"please don't kill me, im busy."

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Man to Man and because thinking makes it so

Man to Man 61,517 words Crowley is the token twink in a corporate office, with a growing fascination with one of his colleagues. After a month of stewing in his horny stupor, he crosses paths with his dream man at an office party, striking up a conversation with the help of liquid courage. There is only one obstacle: based on his past history, the beautiful blond angel is presumed to be straight… or is he? because thinking makes it so 41,398 words It's supposed to be an exchange. An arrangement. Something to make them both feel better and less lonely. But Crowley's never had the brightest ideas.

Length: 61,517 words / 41,398 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: After Dark, Human AU

Triggers: None

Read Man to Man here, fic by leukozyna

Read because thinking makes it so here, fic by NaroMoreau, summerofspock

*Minor Spoilers* So, I don’t know how I feel about making this a double rec, but I feel like these deserve to be read together! Both fics take inspiration from the same Twitter thread and I am obsessed with how each took this prompt and made it their own. If you're going to read one, I really want you to read the other, so double post here we are! To briefly summarize, both start with Crowley (the self-appointed office twink) coming onto Aziraphale (the shy, self-conscious divorcee) at their office holiday party and starting a (super casual, totally won't lead into anything) sexual relationship.

Let's start with Man to Man. This Crowley has had a crush on Aziraphale for ages, and his proposition is a reckless slip of the tongue. I love Aziraphale's wit in this, his comebacks and jokes are so funny and perfectly capture his campy bitchiness. Their relationship is so realistic in a way that I swooned over. I love when sex isn't immediately magical and perfect. It's sloppy and not great at the start, but Aziraphale has a wonderful and patient teacher. This story really celebrates the slow domesticity of a new relationship. Finding out what each other likes and cares about, bringing them into your life, waking up together for the first time. It's all very lovely, but it's got quite a naughty side too! Their sex life is very steamy, and like I said, I loved the learning how to please each other aspect of it as well.

Now, because thinking makes it so, this one takes them down a slightly different road. Here, Aziraphale has a kid! He has an amicable relationship with his ex, and often has his son Adam. But what he misses is sex. Well, Crowley can certainly help in that aspect! This fic is the slightly more explicit one. Aziraphale is more sexually skilled in this fic, but he is still has a lot to learn about the pleasure of having gay sex. Especially when you've never stopped to consider your own sexuality. This one has some excellent plot points with Crowley being introduced to Adam, and how you can imagine them becoming a little family together. I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for single dad stories. This one also gives us a little more angst with their relationship, things aren't always perfectly smooth with them, but don't worry we'll get our happy (and steamy) ending.

I loved both of these fics equally, and I really hope you take my suggestion to read both of them! They are both so well written, each are lighthearted, and maddingly sexy. The way each of them interpreted the same idea is so fascinating to me, truly both outstanding stories! After dark reads for both, of course.

Read Man to Man here, fic by leukozyna

Read because thinking makes it so here, fic by NaroMoreau, summerofspock

[hrefna-the-raven]

Good Omens: a drunken kiss

Masterlist

Words: 838 Summary: Aziraphale confesses his love to you :) Warnings: drunkeness, alcohol, but also fluff, this is cute I promise ;)

In the dimly lit corners of the cozy bookshop, a gentle hum of silence settled over the shelves stacked high with ancient tomes. The angel Aziraphale sought solace in the familiar embrace of his beloved books. It was where he could drown out the chaos of the celestial affairs with the whispers of wisdom on his shelves. But tonight was different. The usually composed and innocently cheerful Aziraphale had found himself surrendering to the intoxicating allure of a few fine bottles of Châteauneuf-du-Pape. He sat perched on a weathered chair at the desk, his usually hidden wings now visibly folded neatly behind him and his nifty glasses slightly askew. The soft glow of ceiling lights danced across his face, casting ethereal shadows that mirrored the conflict within his heart, the inner discord of being torn apart by the love he felt for you and his duty as angel to not meddle in the affairs of a mortal without Heaven's approval. It was then, in the midst of his inebriated musings, that the door to his bookshop swung open with a gentle chime of the tiny bell. The sound startled him, causing him to spill a drop of wine onto his desk, missing the ancient book in his hands within an inch, which he quickly miracled away, almost cursing under his breath. In his haze of drunken confusion, he blinked repeatedly until he could make out the silhouette of your delicate figure standing in the doorway. In that moment, time seemed to cease as Aziraphale's heart skipped a beat and he swallowed heavily. The air around him grew thick with anticipation and he felt the goosebumps forming on his pale skin as he drowned in chaotic waves of euphoria. Here, in his own little shop, stood the embodiment of everything he held dear, the object of his secret affections, malicious tongues might claim it was rather secret lust, but he felt ashamed at the thought. He was an angel, he should be virtuous, a protector, a calm bystander, lust was reserved for the likes of Crowley, the demon who grew on him over the last millennia. You entered cautiously, as if sensing the gravity of the moment, approaching the angel slumped in the chair painfully slow. Your eyes met Aziraphale's and a hint of recognition flickered in your gaze. The bookshop, once a paradise of solitude, seemed to shrink in size, morphing into a sanctuary where two souls inexorably converged. Aziraphale's voice, usually so eloquent, suddenly failed him in your presence. He stuttered, trying to find the right words to say but all he could do was to get lost in the drumming of his racing heart. Your eyes crinkled with a gentle understanding, as if you were trying to decipher the tumultuous intoxicated emotions that swirled beneath his crumbling facade. And then, with a gentle smile, you broke the silence.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but", you whispered shyly, "Aziraphale, are you alright?"your voice carrying a hint of concern as you spotted the many empty wine bottles scattered around his desk.

He struggled to form a coherent sentence, his mind tangled amongst the intoxicating blend of love and the sacred wine. In that moment, he made a decision, probably against all divine rules concerning the interaction between angels and humans, fueled by liquid courage and a desire to finally reveal his, cursed but, true feelings.

"Forgive me, my dear," Aziraphale began, his voice tinged with vulnerability, "but I find myself utterly smitten by your presence. Every moment spent in your company feels like, pardon my blunt pun, hellish torture and I cannot bear to keep these emotions hidden any longer. I-I-I love you!"

Your eyes widened at his sudden confession, searching his face for sincerity amidst those drunken words. A hushed silence filled the air, anticipation hanging like a delicate thread between the two of you. Time seemed to stand still as you teetered on the precipice of possibility. And then, unexpectedly, a mischievous smile curved your lips as you walked up to the angel, placing your hands on the armrest, caging him as your face moved up to his, the tip of your nose almost brushing his.

"Oh, my silly lovable angel," you whispered, your voice brimming with affection, "I feel the same but never dared to say anything because, well you know, virtuous angels and such."

A smile played on both your lips as you struggled to contain a giggle. It was an absurd notion, the idea of a pure angel like Aziraphale entangled in the complexities of love. But love always has a way of defying expectations, and in the midst of uncertainty, the spark finally dare to fully ignite between you both. Leaning in closer, you closed the small distance between you. Your lips met in a soft, tender kiss, unlocking a world of emotions you never knew existed. Time seemed to stand still as you experienced the blissful sensation of your first touch, a moment that felt both otherworldly and utterly perfect.

[voidwizardwholikestheshadows]

Sixteenth Day Event Prompt:

Ranboo & Dream - Tree

Thank you @sixteenth-day-event for organizing this. It was super super fun. I have no clue where this story went but I’m just glad I got to practice writing some more. I also kinda got off topic but hey, it happens.

Tw for implied death and some axe violence.

An AU in which Dream is a forest creature and Ranboo hears a voice calling him into the woods

Story below the cut

Ranboo moved into this old cabin in the woods that was falling apart with his parents. His father enjoyed fixing things up, so Ranboo had to make do with the ramshackle cabin. He was about fifteen minutes from town, and the only houses nearby… well… Ranboo hadn’t exactly interacted with them yet. All he knew was that kids lived there. So, all that he could currently do was wander around his new home. The floorboards were creaky, and it definitely wasn’t the place you could walk around without socks or at least something to protect your feet from the nails protruding from the wooden floorboard. 

Apparently, there was also a rumor of an old basement and the rumor that the place was haunted, and that’s why the last owners left. Ranboo wasn’t one to believe in ghost stories or stupid rumors but this one left him with a bad taste in his mouth. He made his way through the hallway toward his room with one light illuminating the hallway that flickers constantly. Creepy… Of course, this cabin in the middle of nowhere had to be creepy. It couldn’t be a nice, happy cabin. Ranboo felt like he was in a horror movie as he slowly descended into the creepily lit hallway. 

His mom had told him the last room on the right was his. So when he got there and opened the door, his mouth dropped into a perfect round O. His “room” consisted of a shabby-looking bed, a desk with a lantern with a half-melted candle in it, a dresser with half the knobs missing, and a closed closet. He had to sleep in here? Ranboo wouldn’t be surprised if there was a serial killer in his closet at this very moment. Well… that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but honestly, who fucking knew.

He slowly crept over to the closet and pulled on the wooden splintered knob, and it popped right off the closet door. He blinked and looked down at it in his hand before sighing; this felt like a goddamn cartoon moment. He stared blankly at the closet before deciding that it was probably an omen to not open it. However… he did need to put his clothes somewhere. He lugged his large purple suitcase out of the hallway and into the room before placing it on the bed and then examining the bed when he heard a quiet creak, which he assumed came from the springs or whatever was holding the bed together.

The sheets weren’t soft; they felt gross like they were covered in stains of an unknown liquid. Hopefully, it’s not blood. Knowing his luck, it most likely was. The pillowcase was definitely covered in dirt and the same unknown liquid. Gross. Maybe it really was blood. No… he was just being dramatic; Ranboo knew he was good at that. That’s what his parents said, at least. Speaking of them, it was almost silent in the house. It was scary. Ranboo simply assumed they were leaving the cabin and getting luggage from the car. The only nice thing about his room was that it had a window looking out into the forest surrounding them. The redwoods were towering and beautiful; he loved nature but also missed the city’s sounds. Honking cars, passing trains, it all felt like a distant fuzzy memory now.

That’s when he thought he saw it. A fast-moving blur dashing between trees. When he rubbed his eyes to ensure he wasn’t seeing things and peered out of the window again, there was nothing there. He scoffed at how jumpy he was right now. He swore he saw somebody or… something out in the woods. There was a knock at the door, and Ranboo almost jumped out of his skin, not expecting the loud noise. He took a step out of his room, but the knocking continued. 

He made his way through the kitchen and living room, having yet to check those rooms out before making it to the front door. He peered out the peephole, and it was a kid with messy blonde hair with sticks and mud stuck in it, blue eyes, a red and white T-shirt, tan pants, red and white sneakers, and a huge grin. Ranboo noticed he had braces as well. He definitely gave off a feral kid living in the woods vibe. Not seeing any problem with opening the door for a kid and noticing his parents’ car was gone, he opened the door.

“Hullo! My name’s Tommy, I live next door! Why are you so fucking tall? I’m supposed to be the tall one.” Before Ranboo had the chance to get a word out, this kid- Tommy was going 100 miles an hour. 

Tommy pouted and crossed his arms, and Ranboo was just staring in shock. He wouldn’t be surprised if his mouth was hanging open. He was 6’6, which was tall, he would admit it, and this kid- Tommy was about 6’1 at best. 

“Uh… Hi… My name is Ranboo… Nice to meet you.” Ranboo stuck his hand out, and Tommy shook it with enthusiasm. 

“Ranboob? That’s a fucking awesome name.” Tommy laughed to himself before wiping an imaginary tear away. Ranboo didn’t have the heart to correct him.

That’s when Ranboo spotted another kid approaching. This kid had slightly messy brown hair, brown eyes, a dark green button-up shirt, and black jeans. He looked better than Tommy did. Tommy turned around to see what Ranboo was staring at, and Tommy’s eyes lit up.

“Tubs! Look how fucking tall he is! You think I could beat him in a fight?” Tommy twirled around to face Ranboo again and wildly gestured at him in case this new kid couldn’t tell who he was talking about.

“Tommy… leave the poor guy alone.” He shook his head with a sigh, but there was a beginning of a smile creeping onto his face, but he tried to remain serious. Once the kid got to where the other two were standing, he held out his hand and introduced himself.

Hi. My name is Tubbo, and I assume Tommy introduced himself and- wait… Tommy! Come look at this!” Well… there went Ranboo hopes that Tubbo wouldn’t be all over the place like Tommy was.

Tubbo grabbed Tommy’s wrist and pulled him away to look at the bees pollinating the flowers. Ranboo smiled; they seemed nice, at least. Better than the kids where he used to live. Ranboo glanced out toward the woods, and he saw it. A man..? He wasn’t sure, but the thing was wearing a mask with two black dots for eyes and a smile, a green cape with a hood, but the hood wasn’t on, which had the thing showing huge antlers sprouting out of messy darker blond hair alongside black ripped pants and brown combat boots. Ranboo could have mistaken it for a human if it wasn’t for the mask and antlers. 

That’s when he heard it; at first, he thought it was Tommy or Tubbo, but when he glanced over his shoulder, they were still looking at the flowers. It couldn’t have been them, but he heard a voice whispering to him. The voice surrounded him.

“Ranboo… Ranboo… Come to me…” Ranboo would later learn that his eyes turned a bright purple as he slowly walked in a trance-like state toward the creature in the woods. 

He didn’t even notice; he wasn’t in control at that moment until he heard Tommy’s voice.

“Aye?! Ranboo?! Where are you going??” The teen’s voice brought him back to reality when he noticed he was standing in the middle of the driveway, very close to the woods, where he saw the thing… creature… whatever you wanted to call it. 

He blinked and glanced back out into the forest but saw nothing. Maybe he just imagined it? Ranboo must have had a look on his face because Tommy’s bright grin slowly dissolved into a grave look.

“You saw it too..? I thought only Tubs and I could see it…” Tommy lowered his voice to a whisper, even though there was nobody around as if he was afraid to accidentally summon the creature. 

Ranboo didn’t trust his voice, so he just nodded. Tommy nodded to himself as Tubbo made his way over with a huge smile, but upon noticing the duo’s somber mood, his smile disappeared instantly. Almost like he immediately knew what Tommy was talking about. 

“I forgot you’re new around here. Well… listen… There is this old story, a myth as Techno would call it about a creature that haunts these woods. The myth says that only people under 18 can see him… They called him-” Tommy cut himself off as he glanced around before his voice lowered even more.

“They call him Dream… He’s known for taking children, and nobody knows what happens to them afterward. That’s what happened to the family in the house you just moved into. Their kid let him in and he killed the family.” Ranboo was almost entirely sure that his jaw was on the floor at this point.

That had to be the blur he saw from his bedroom window. That could have ended badly; he had no clue what his whole family had just walked into. Tubbo noticed the somber mood that overtook him and awkwardly patted him on the back. Ranboo forced a smile, retreated back to his house, and went back inside. After he made it back inside, he closed the door and pressed his back against it before slowly sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. He glanced up and around the living room; there wasn’t much to look at. The tv looked old as fuck, so he didn’t even have that to do.

It was getting pretty late, so he trudged back to his room and wanted to sleep. He reentered his room and stared at the bed that was covered in an unknown liquid before sighing. He rolled out the sleeping bag that he thankfully brought with him. He wasn’t about to get some disease by sleeping in that bed. He crawled into the sleeping bag; at least it was warm. He never did hear his parents come home…

When he awoke, it was pitch black out. Ranboo was awake mentally, but he found he couldn’t control his body. It was like he was booted out of the metaphorical driver’s seat into the passenger and had to watch his body move without his control. It was a weird feeling, something he could never put into words. Something he would never want to think about or remember ever again. 

Ranboo was still slightly sleepy, so he wasn’t fully aware of his body moving without his permission until he picked up a wood-chopping axe. The axe was sharp enough to cut through wood but dull enough to take more strikes than usual. The handle was wooden and worn down enough that there was the possibility he would get splinters if he didn’t handle it right. It’s not like he knew how to use an axe in the first place. 

“Ranboo… Ranboo… come to me…” He recognized the voice, and a shiver went down his spine. It was that Dream… thing…

Why couldn’t he control himself? What the everloving fuck was happening? He stumbled toward the door; whatever was controlling his body had difficulty putting one foot in front of the other. He tried his best to fight, but he could do nothing when he was forced back into the dark corner of his mind. Where all the intrusive and evil thoughts were. His ears were ringing; he wanted so badly to cover them. His head was pounding, thoughts fluttering around at a million miles an hour. None of them were good thoughts.

None of them were his thoughts. 

He opened the door into the night, and cold air swept inside quickly. The cold was terrible, but his body didn’t shiver once. He lumbered toward the woods, axe in hand, no clue to what fate would await him. Once his eyes adjusted to the night, he shuddered internally.

This was the way to Tommy’s house.

He had a sick feeling that he knew exactly what was going to happen and tried to struggle, but how can one fit the body if one can’t control said body. It was a losing battle, and Ranboo knew it. Yet, he had to try. At least to give himself the knowledge that he tried. He said that he didn’t want this to happen.

He was annoying, wasn’t he? He deserves this!

Those definitely weren’t his thoughts. He liked Tommy, for fuck’s sake. He was friendly and had a good sense of humor, a good break from the people Ranboo used to be around, and he didn’t want to hurt him.

Ranboo was standing in Tommy’s driveway. It was empty… his parents weren’t home. Nobody would be around to hear his screams or pleas. The door was open. That is never a good sign. He pushed it open further and paused when it made a loud creaking noise. When nobody came to check, he continued. Internally, Ranboo was sobbing; he didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to do this.

You know you wanted to.

Ranboo just wanted it all to stop. Tommy was lying on the living room floor watching TV at full blast. He would never have seen what was coming. Ranboo stood behind him and raised the axe. He wanted to stop himself, yet in morbid fascination, he wanted to watch. He brought the axe down. He chopped, and he chopped, and he chopped. Ranboo opened his eyes and saw Dream standing over him. Ranboo was gone. The real Ranboo was gone. All that was left was this horrifying, evil shell of him. That was the last time anyone heard from Ranboo. 

However, the myth changed. Dream was the same was ever, but now there was a 7’ foot tall creature with black and white skin, messy black and white hair, horns, a tail, and wearing a suit. Some new creature joined Dream in the forest that day, and its eyes were glowing purple…

[josephquinnswhore]

Eternal Destiny

Chapter 1

Pairing: Prince Oberyn Martell x fem!Reader

Summary: The Royal Family are in need of a Chef to cater for a huge Wedding, for King Doran and his soon-to-be wife. Your boss, Edmund has an opportunity you can't refuse.

Word Count: 2.3k

Destiny was an almighty ruler of Dorne. It was an unspoken law everyone abided by, those who dare disobey weren't immune to the consequences. Dire consequences you had seen at the hands of your father-a great injustice was served that day.

Your sister Mailie was 10 when destiny showed you it's darkness after betrayal. A sickness overcame her, a fever in which no Doctor in the town could reverse, no symptom could be treated, the sickness was incurable. She was doomed at the hands of her own father's sin, Lust, Greed. His infidelity shun shame through your family, the town quickly became aware of this scandal, his need for a son after his wife bearing him two daughters. He couldn't accept it, he despised his destiny, and he was reprimanded for his disobedience. After Mailie's death was where the real punishment began its reign, your mother divorced him and kicked him from the house, his remaining daughter, you had disowned him. Through a course of actions played by his own hand and no family to claim, he was rejected, and therefore doomed to the town as an omen of bad luck. This resulted in his execution, the House of Martell were old fashioned in the way they still wield their swords, being an extension of themselves, your father died at the hands of the King himself.

Your own Destiny however, had led you in the direction of sorcery to pass the time, over the years collecting Viles and old hand me down books gifted from your grandmother who also practiced. You were primarily focused on potions, how to heal, although part of you did divulge into a particular script on a scroll containing pieces of dark magic, potions, spells and something you hadn't practiced before. What started off as a hobby quickly turned into a lifestyle, your small home full of candles, ornamental trinkets, fermented animal fetus' and a large library of books. As much as you loved to divulge into the practice you weren't qualified in medicine and this hobby didn't pay the bills. You pour the cooling liquid into a small vile and push the wooden cork firmly, securing the translucent liquid that you would use later tonight, gluing the label "sleep potion" onto it. You blew out your candles, thanking the Moon and Sun for their presence during your session, "I bid you hail and farewell as you continue your day. May your wisdom guide me today and give me strength." The wick of the candle emits a smoke that invades your nostrils, you inhale the smoke, welcoming the comforting smell before dressing yourself in your all white, work attire.

Unsurprisingly you ended up as a qualified chef, you spent 4 years at culinary school and for the past 6 months had been working under the guidance of Edmund Kelp. He was an older man, head covered in white hair, short and full 'round the waist. "A skinny chef is a bad chef." He said, almost daily, as if he had to convince you his food was good-it was more than good; it was exquisite. You were grateful for such a talented man to be your guidance, he had often worked and boasted about how he had catered multiple events for the Royal Martell Family. You, as his top graduate, he admired and always told you that you would have the same opportunity, you always denied it, in your humbleness. You had no idea how Edmund would set you up with such a life-changing opportunity.

The walk from your apartment to the Kitchen was brisk, trying to avoid the business of what was to become of the streets in less than an hour, the town holding fortnightly markets that gave locals a chance to make some extra money and the town an outing for the day. The sun had barely risen by the time you unlocked the door to the kitchen, its yellow hue brushing past the trees and kissing your body with its warmth, welcoming you to the new day and putting a smile on your face. You shut the door behind you as you waltzed through the building, jumping as Edmund startled you, his company welcome although unexpected. "You're up early today." He looked up from the notepad he was reading from with a smirk, growing more with an upward curl of his lip. "I'm opening this morning, Tab." You tilted your head in question with an eyebrow raised, eyeing him suspiciously. "You feeling okay Ed?" He discarded the paper note on the bench and threw his hands up in faux defeat, "you got me. I've got an offer for you; and you'll be insane to refuse it." You lean against the bench crossing your arms, "okay.." You take the bait. "I'm retiring from catering events. Which means you'll be catering for the King's Wedding in 10 day's time." Your face drops momentarily in shock and smack Ed's arm playfully, "don't joke Ed." You're met with a genuine smile and excitement overcomes you providing a boost of dopamine. You're both laughing and it dawn on you that 10 days is not enough time to plan, make a menu, order ingredients, note dietary restrictions and allergies. "How am I going to do this all with only 10 days, this is impossible." Ed chuckles, "I wouldn't set you up for failure Tab, the Kings going to have his own company fast track the delivery so you can get things done." You exhale the anxieties, relieving you of your stress.

A knock on the door disrupts your thoughts and you're met with a man wearing the Martell House colors, his Brown pants complimenting the yellow Vest and yellow long sleeve button up underneath. "Sir Kelp," he addresses Ed formally before turning to you addressing you by your name, "my name is Fredrick, I am King Doran's personal assistant, I am here to deliver the list of food allergies and preferences of our guests. Please do contact me if there are any questions, or when you are ready for us to order ingredients. It's been a pleasure meeting your acquaintance." Your smile meets your eyes as they squint, offering your hand and shaking the man's hand, "thank you, it's been a pleasure." He nods once more before leaving and you turn to Ed who has a smug look on his face. "I won't brag and say I'm right, however." He shrugs his shoulders casually, kneeling down to check the fridge below the bench. "This wouldn't have happened without you, Ed." He shakes his head, dismissing you. "Don't do that Tab, this opportunity is yours because you're hard working, dedicated and talented. Even though you can be hot headed, Tabasco." You snort and shove him playfully, "how can I ever repay you Ed?" He squints as he looks up to you, "make a trip to the market and fetch some fresh lemons, would you?" You smile, "course Ed, will a dozen do?" Ed stands, pulling some breakfast items out setting them on the bench, "that'll do fine Tab." "Be back shortly."

As you expected, the town square was filled with people, the sound of children laughing and coins clattering together in the cash registers came together in an aura that warmed you from the inside. You squeeze your shoulders together, shimmying past people apologizing as you push past them, making your way to Don, at the fresh Citrus stand. "Mornin' kid, a dozen for Ed?" You nod and chuckle, "please Don, you know what he's like. I'll get a fresh lemonade too please, they're to die for." Don laughs at your exaggeration, although it is no exaggeration. "Comin' right up kid." He places your lemons in a tall brown paper bag and sets them on the counter, starting to squeeze the lemons by hand to make your fresh lemonade, adding a mere half a teaspoon to your preference, adding extra ice as it all comes together in the cup. "Ed's got it all covered, so you're good to go." You reach into your pocket and hand him a $20 bill, over an hour of your wage, if there was anyone that deserved this tip, it was Don. He worked extra hours on weekends at the markets, money for his sick wife that couldn't afford treatment, and Don couldn't afford to stop working. "Can't accept this, kid." Don offers the money back and you fill your hands with the bag of lemons and your cup, "you deserve it Don, give greetings and well wishes to your wife for me." Don sniffles nodding, "yeah, I'll do that." It was as if the market was as busy as ever, the smell of fresh food cooking wafted through the air and your stomach grumbled in defiance as you walked away from the stalls. You bring the cup of fresh lemonade to your lips and take a big gulp, the acidity and tanginess settle on your tongue, humming in delight you momentarily close your eyes, a decision that led you to bump into someone, sending you tumbling to the ground and spilling your sweet drink.

You grunt at the pain in your tailbone that shoots up your back, "I'm sorry my lady, do forgive me." You look upward, the tall man standing in front of the sun blocking the brightness from your eyes creating a beautiful sight, the casual black clothes tightly fitted accentuating his muscles. The sun glowing around him, his tanned skin glowing, his face one of worry as he crouches down to you to help pick up some lemons that had rolled out of your bag, holding them in his arms, helping you to your feet, his large hands around your waist. You straighten your back and adjust your posture, empty cup in hand as the contents start to dry on the concrete.

"Please don't apologise I wasn't watching where i was going." You admit, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear in a nervous twitch. The man's eyes are watching you, observing. The dark brown eyes wandered your body, an unusual feeling of something stirred in your stomach. "Sorry." He mused, knowing you caught him starring, "here, may I buy you another drink?" You accepted the bag of lemons thankfully and offered a sympathetic smile, "I would love to, but I'm sorry I've got to get these back to work." His hand rested on your forearm, and it sent a shiver up your body, your arm tingling from his touch, you returned the kind gesture and his eyes met yours, offering nothing but kindness. "I hope I see you around again gorgeous." Your cheeks heat up and the redness reaches your ears, "me too." Your voice is sincere, and he shuffles to the left to let you pass, you walk past the man, looking back at him halfway up the pathway offering a shy wave before going back to the restaurant and dumping the bag of lemons on the counter, Ed cooking for the customers that had made their way in for some brunch.

"What took you so long hm?" Ed nudges you playfully and you shrug, "just met the most handsome man ever and I'll never seen him again." You groan, leaning against the bench, moving out of the way not to impose on the cooks in the kitchen that greet you as they walk past.

"You just gotta trust your destiny," you sigh and nod in agreeance. "No drink this morning?" Ed watches you as he starts to assemble and plate the bruschetta he had been preparing. "Spilt it." Ed hums and you stand in silence for a moment when a waitress walks through the kitchen with a cup of liquid gold in her hand, "someone left this for you, Tab. Asked me to give it to you." Your eyebrows pinch together and take the cup, eyeing the scribble on the side, 'a replacement, as an apology.' Your eyes widen and stare at the waitress, "is he still here?" She shook her head, "he just dropped it off and left, it was weird." You bring the cup to your lips and groan in satisfaction, it was perfect, exactly how you liked it, light on the sugar and a heavy note of tanginess that lingered on your tastebuds.

"Destiny, eh?" You smile at Ed and shove him, the waitress taking the plates as he exits the kitchen, leaving you two to converse. "Head home Tab, get started on that menu." "Sure thing, thanks again Ed, for everything." For the opportunity, the advice, the support, for being like a dad.

He dismisses you with a wave of a hand and you begin your short journey home, enjoying the small amount of peace you would have before you dedicated the next week and a half to make sure the Royal Family wedding was perfect. You sit at your dining table and unfold the dietary requirements and food preferences, your pen in hand with your notebook as you begin to write notes, ignoring the tingling sensation on your wrist where the handsome man had touched you.

-No seafood. No peanuts. No Banana.

-Maximum 2 Entres

-Firm 3 Main Meal options, (no required Vegetarian/Vegan)

-1-2 Dessert options required. 1 Dairy/lactose Free option required.

You'll be fine, you could do this. It would only be easier if you could stop thinking about that handsome, nameless man from the markets, he would be a welcome inconvenience.

[chr0m-art]

I've been working on a race that I want to Homebrew into D&D called "Lantern Knights".

They are a race of undead, Dragonborn-like Paladins with complete fire and heat immunity, and are virtually blind, with a few exceptions.

The Lantern Knights can only see things related to the Undead, and anything that steps into the pale blue flickering light they emit.

These creatures serve a purpose similar to the Grim Reaper, which would be guiding souls to the afterlife. However, unlike the Grim Reaper, they are specifically around to take those who don't willingly follow the Reaper, or flee from them. Most churches don't speak much about them because they view them as harbingers of the most terrible omens, if they say anything at all. Ironically, though, they are actually a sign that the worst of times is going to be over soon.

As for why they are called "Lantern Knights", it's because of the bluish-green light they emit when chasing down their target, which primarily comes from them being on fire, as well as their Paladin-like armor. Direct contact will cause you to suffer fire damage, unless you are also immune.

This race is meant to be an NPC race, and one that's mostly something that you have to go out of your way to find, or be lucky (Or unlucky) enough to find in a Dungeon encounter, depending on if you're Undead, and the circumstances of you being as such. They love Lamp Oil, as well as any flammable liquid, and will gladly gank a Lich if given the chance.

And yes, you can recruit them.

INCREDIBLY BASED AND EPIC???????????? HOLY FUCK RAMIFICATIONS OF THESE DUDES …..

Like, where do they come from!!!! Dragonborn could mean so much!!!!!! Are they related to the followings of the same pantheon as the god Bahamut!!!!! As lantern knights do they function similarly to lantern archons!!!!! Or are they more aligned to Kelemvor and Jergal???????

THIS HOMEBREW FUCKING RULES MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

[azurerosses]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, and publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

liquid!!! omg so honored to be nominated as thee wanderingblindy's top 10 faves, love love love you so much<333

(also hyped to get this ask from you bc i'm pretty sure we have similar taste in music lol)

i'll try to not just list all of slipknot's discography on here and mix some genres but here's my list (in no particular order):

(sic) - slipknot / self-titled (1999)

kind of cheating but you can't have (sic) without eyeless i mean c'mon

rat race - noel / single (2022)

i actually prefer day date but he deleted the song from spotify unfortunately :(

modern love - all time low / tell me i'm alive (2023)

i still can't believe i saw them live??? after listening to them for a decade??? still coming out with bangers after all these years ugh love them so much

n/A - bring me the horizon / post human: nex gen (2024)

a recent bop find after being stuck on the lost & strangers loop

c'mon loretta - trixie mattel / the blonde & pink album (2022)

barbara is such a classic but this track is sooo fun to listen to!!

these are kind of a mix bag of genres but they're all generally recent releases, some honorable mentions include riding or one punch - aries / believe in me, who believes in you (2021), akudama - alpha wolf / a quiet place to die (2020) or hotel underground - alpha wolf / the lost & the longing (2022), or just the entirety of the death of peace of mind by bad omens (2022)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

The Albatross by Swift is an Ineffable Husbands song.

LISTEN. OKAY. I KNOW Y'ALL ARE THE HOZIERY FOLKS, GOOD OMENS FANDOM. AND THAT'S FINE. BUT I'M STILL YOUR OFFICIAL MASCOT SO SIT DOWN AND LISTEN TO FOR A MINUTE. YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OPINIONS ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT OF COURSE, BUT LOOK. THE ALBATROSS FROM TTPD. IT'S THEM. IT'S SO FUCKING THEM.

Wise men once said "Wild winds are death to the candle" A rose by any other name is a scandal

The angels all describing Crowley as evil, you can think of the candle as the light of God or divinity, and Crowley's a demon, and for Aziraphale and Crowley to love each other would be, to put it lightly, a scandal.

Cautions issued, he stood Shooting the messengers They tried to warn him about her

Aziraphale ignores their warnings about Crowley at least to the extent that he still spends time with her, he still falls in love with her. How can he not?

Cross your thoughtless heart Only liquor anoints you She's the albatross She is here to destroy you

Cross your heart, hope to die. They warn him that he's not thinking this through. Only liquor, the wine that they drink together, that's the only holy liquid that anoints Aziraphale when he's with Crowley (anoint is to pour on someone as part of a religious ceremony). Crowley is the albatross, the demon, and they say she's here to destroy him, to make him fall.

Wise men once said "One bad seed kills the garden" "One less temptress One less dagger to sharpen"

One bad seed kills the garden. Crowley is the bad seed. She's the reason for the Garden of Eden being killed, for Adam and Eve having to exit it. They want to get rid of her. She is the temptress, the original temptress, the first one.

(Continuing after the cut coz i have a LOT to say and there are more stanzas)

Locked me up in towers But I'd visit in your dreams And they tried to warn you about me

Crowley is locked up in Hell, thrown out from Heaven, but she still haunts Aziraphale's dreams, he still yearns for her, she still circles him. The angels continue to vilify her.

Devils that you know Raise worse hell than a stranger She's the death you chose You're in terrible danger

Crowley's the devil, the demon, that Aziraphale knows. And the angels, and Metatron, warn him that she's far more dangerous than everyone else from Hell. And that if he chooses her, he chooses death (a threat by the Metatron). And all demons are evil, but she's the one he's choosing.

And when that sky rains fire on you And you're persona non grata I'll tell you how I've been there too And that none of it matters

The sky raining fire, the M-15 on fire, the apocalypse day. Aziraphale is in trouble with Heaven because he defied them to stop the apocalypse. And Crowley's saying that she's been there too, she's been called evil by Heaven, she's been cast out, and that none of it matters, what's the point?

Wise men once read fake news And they believed it Jackals raised their hackles

The angels, even the better ones, following the Metatron and the 'Great Plan' blindly, believing everything. Jackals in the Bible apparently signify desolation and they wait, silently, indifferent to the perils of those around them, just wanting to survive. Like the angels, indifferent to the world and to Aziraphale and Crowley--or Crowley, indifferent to Heaven and Hell, caring only about Aziraphale and her world, wanting to just escape, to survive.

You couldn't conceive it You were sleeping soundly When they dragged you from your bed And I tried to warn you about them

Aziraphale still holding on to the hope that he can change things, struggling to let go of his trauma and realise that Heaven is not all good (he couldn't conceive it). And how he was just trying to do good, to be good, and was believing the best of them when they dragged him (Crowley, technically, but they thought it was him) to burn in hellfire. And how Crowley always warned him about Heaven.

So I crossed my thoughtless heart Spread my wings like a parachute I'm the albatross I swept in at the rescue

Crowley, ride or die with Aziraphale. Spreading her wings to protect Aziraphale from the stardust coalescing into stars. Sweeping in to rescue him, at the church, at the Bastille.

The devil that you know Looks now more like an angel I'm the life you chose And all this terrible danger

The devil that Aziraphale knows, Crowley, is beginning to seem more angelic than the angels themselves. Because it's her. And she's flawed but kind and loving. And she's the life that he chose, even with all the danger that it entails. In the end, he will choose her.

So. Yeah. Good Omens Mascot, doing fine, not brainrotted at all.

--I lie, like a lying liar who is lying.

[lorei-writes]

Winter Flower

Chapter XVIII: Victory

Masamune x OC [Hana] Summary: Hana wakes up in the gardens of Azuchi castle without any recollection of her past. Who is she? What was she doing there? And most importantly – what is she supposed to do now? Placed under supervision of Lord Date, Hana has to find her footing in the unfamiliar reality of the warring states. Series Masterlist

Content Warnings: none

“I don’t know,” I am quick to reply, fearing my throat may grow too tight the moment I stall. “But… I think that a man who loves you will go out of his way to keep you fed.”

The visit in the courtyard has not been repeated. Things have changed since that day, however, the table separating me from Tatsuoki remains unchanged, as are the teapot and the cups in our hands. Another coin is being flicked my way. That, too, is awfully familiar by now. I stare at it with wide eyes, put off by his bright smile. Right this instant, Tatsuoki is so radiant he could easily outshine the sun, although I would struggle to see his light as anything other than an omen. His joy casts shadows over me. I cannot tremble in front of him. I am not supposed to be the person who would.

I stare at the coin.

I’ve tripled the number of injured men. I know I have.

I don’t need to ask, but yet here I am, still hoping that I am wrong.

“What is that?”

“Your payment, of course,” he explains, chill licking at my very fingertips. I clutch onto the cup as if it was my lifeline, the hot liquid contained within it the only thing preventing me from freezing and shattering on the spot.

“I take I was of use then,” I say, striving to make my voice as nonchalant as possible.

“You were, indeed.” He lifts the cup up to his lips. Tatsuoki inhales sharply, deeply, as if to lure in the pleasant scent of green tea. He takes his time, the way he always does, savouring the experience before taking a sip, slender hands returning to rest over the table soon enough. Too soon, in fact. “You have done so well it would be fitting to reward you, flower. My first gift for you is knowledge: information does turn the tides of war around. Knowing how many men cannot stand to arms, one can adjust their own power accordingly. Once that is done, it is only a matter of time before the enemy is ground into fine dust.

“However, you have done exceptionally well in the assessment of your situation.” Tatsuoki takes a moment to think, staring at – past? – me with unfocused eyes. Hair falls over his forehead as he leans towards me. “It would not be generous of us if your contributions have not been appropriately acknowledged. My father has requested you join us for tomorrow night’s banquet.”

Cold heat erupts in my stomach. It comes as a surprise that I still manage to hold onto the cup, my body acting on its own to set it down, concealed stiffness nearly contorting my shoulders. Smile, me. Smile.

“Thank you. It is an honour.”

Tatsuoki nods. He knocks twice on the table. The door opens, and so, a familiar maid steps inside. Ai watches me for a moment, seemingly having forgotten herself, but she correct her behaviour fast. We are not supposed to have ever met, after all. She kneels on the floor, awaiting any further orders. However, I am the one Tatsuoki chooses to address.

“You ought to make yourself bloom. Take your time.”

I take it as my cue to leave. Ai follows my every step. That chatter of hers is completely gone as we walk down the corridors, however, it sprouts the moment we arrive at my quarters. My brows furrow by themselves, a large parcel lying over the writing table.

“What –”

“Lady Hana, you must have done so well,” Ai interrupts, hands pressed to her cheeks. Perhaps that’s her signature gesture. “Lord Saitou has never been as kind as to prepare a gift for anybody. Don’t worry about a thing. I will ready your bath in time, style your hair, I will even do my best with make up! He must have some big news to share,” she declares, starry sky reflected in her eyes, even though it is still bright outside. Ai puts her hands on my shoulders and pushes me forward, towards – what I assume – is said gift.

“B-big news?” I attempt to dig my heels into the ground, but the floor isn’t exactly receptive to such methods.

“Maybe he wants you to become his concubine?!” she whisper-squeals. Ha. Haha. I know I shouldn’t allow this, but derisive laughter still escapes through my nose.

Ai pouts, her round hazel eyes narrowing in hurt. With a certain sort of theatrically dramatic panache, she unravels the package with one swift tug, a purple kimono unfolding in her arms.

“What man would gift something so beautiful to a woman he does not love?!” Ai, apparently, specialises in whisper-speak and its many intricacies. Meanwhile, I lose all of the control I’ve so diligently upheld up until now and laugh again, openly now. Much to her – demonstrated by a thorough cheek rub – discontent.

“I’m fairly certain it doesn’t exactly work like so,” I offer to placate her, partially because I don’t want for her to rip my hair out later.

“Then how does it work, hm?”

I tap my chin and think back – back to my waking up at Azuchi castle, Shogetsu, rice, I and Masamune cooking late into the night, the cliff, our ride, the riverside, the way he held me when I could not sleep at night…

“I don’t know,” I am quick to reply, fearing my throat may grow too tight the moment I stall. “But… I think that a man who loves you will go out of his way to keep you fed.”

Ai rolls her eyes.

I know. I’m not much better than you… But I cannot afford to think about this right now.

***

I take a deep breath. A gust of cool evening air breaths on the nape of my neck, swaying the beads hanging off the end of the hairpin tucked in my hair. I do not look much like myself. I do not feel much like myself either. However, I am in control. Everything is well.

Things would be easier if I were asleep, so I walk down the corridor as if it was merely a part of my dream, various hazy twists and turns all ceasing to matter. There’s only one place I can reach just regardless.

The guards stationed in front of the banquet hall are barely a mirage. Jovial shouts coming form behind the door reach me only once turned into echoes, but even so, I force myself to approach them, to meet them straight on. I am invited to come inside.

The hall is large, tens of men sitting by the rows of long tables set to their absolute fullest. There isn’t a patch of space unaccounted for, roasted swans, wild game, pickled vegetables and rice leaving only so much room for the guests to dine. Should food not be scarce? Ha. This victory declaration leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

A guard pushes at my shoulder. I am led to my place, so I sit down. As expected, Tatsuoki is nearby. A single whisper falling from his lips is all it takes for him to appear next to me. He offers me a meal. I don’t know when it happens, but the cup in my hand is filled to the very brim.

I eat, even though nothing seems to have any taste; I drink, perhaps I drink too much. I’m not certain. I can’t exactly feel it, but Tatsuoki does send me a warning glance from time to time, so I opt to slow down. It doesn’t seem to exactly satisfy him, although he remains quiet.

The dinner goes on. Now that the stomachs have been filled, the focus of the event shifts to drinking and talks. I am being approached en masse (generals? Soldiers? I cannot tell who exactly are those people), so I pour an equal amounts of cups. However, few are willing to talk, and even fewer exchange more than just a couple polite words with me. It is odd, but even so… I am thankful for their brevity. The information – the distortions – I’ve disclosed is being brought up. The more I say, the more likely I am to be found out, and given the current situation… I’d rather not think about that.

I must have a rather gloomy face. It is not much of an issue, however. I can easily write it off as being made upset by their strange antics, or so I tell myself. Nobody should think much of it —

Somebody, or perhaps something, pulls at my hair. Strands previously upheld by the pin fall down my shoulders and as soon as I take a moment to look around, I realise why. To my left, there sits Tatsuoki, the ornament he has bought for me resting in the palm of his hand.

“Are you having a good time, flower?” he asks, candle light reflected in his irises reminding me of sun setting behind the curtain of low-hanging clouds.

“I am,” I assure him, although I regret not biting my tongue. Perhaps I could get out of here if I was not this eager to please. He seems to see it too, a chuckle spilling from his lips into his drink.

“I am happy to hear that. After all, this celebration has been thrown in your name.”

Shivers climb up my back. I don’t think that this is what I have been told before – and I am most certain I do not like the sound of that. “Oh?”

“Of course. Your reports on casualties suffered by the Date, their alliances, reinforcements, armaments… They were all invaluable. We expect for them to retreat before spring. Not one of Nobunaga’s underlings has the means necessary to besiege us for any longer than that.”

I think more people are listening now than before, although they do not seem quite right. Their eyes are not curious. They’re… mocking, but in this particular way when one tries to pretend they do not feel this way.

“My father in particular is grateful that you turned out to be a reasonable woman,” Tatsuoki continues, my attention being drawn towards the elderly figure sitting at the head of the table. I answer his grin with a smile, but somehow, that alone makes him all the more content. His eyes linger on me.

“I assume he would be delighted if you could talk in private.”

“I am unworthy of such honour,” I try. I raise my hands in front of my chest, yet it does not wield the results I have hoped for – instead, a bottle of sake is being forced into them. The men around us leave one by one, carried off by a cloud of snorts and hushed whispers.

Tatsuoki shakes his head. “Are you?”

“Of course.”

He does not reply, his hand reaching to ruffle my hair in place of words. His touch stays there longer, long finger combing through my locks to then slide to hold my chin.

“To think you’d become honest now.”

My heart raises to my throat at his words. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve known, flower. I’ve known all along.”

--

Series tag list: @cheese-ception @nuttytani

[fazclub]

☆ ⸽ Members ⸽ ☆

👑 Staar/@suprrstaar -🦊

Glitch/@gl1tchiematt -🐝

Lizy/@lizyxml -🐰

Mika/@milkshak5 -🐈‍⬛

Mush/@staarcelestial -🦜

Mari -🦢

Night -🐺

Emmiy - @itsemmiy -🐛

☆ ⸽ Presentation ⸽ ☆

☆ ⸽ 👑 Staar ⸽ ☆

╰► ₊ Name: Staar

╰► ₊ Age: minor

╰► ₊ Pronouns: Any pronouns

╰► ₊ Sexuality: Aroace

╰► ₊ Birthday: 11/18

╰► ₊ Fandoms who participates: FNaF, Invader Zim, Miraculous...

✧ ⸽ Your oc ⸽ ✧

╰► ₊ Oc/Sona:

(🐰- Staar maybe I'll find a better design.)

☆ ⸽ Lizy ⸽ ☆

╰► ₊ Name: Lizy

╰► ₊ Age: Minor

╰► ₊ Pronouns: She/her

╰► ₊ Sexuality : Bisexual

╰► ₊ Birthday: 01/30

╰► ₊ Fandoms who participates: (I will put it later)

✧ ⸽ Your oc ⸽ ✧

╰► ₊ Oc/Sona:

(Art made by: @imsunmnia‼️💖)

☆ ⸽ Night ⸽ ☆

╰► ₊ Name: Night

╰► ₊ Age: 15

╰► ₊ Pronouns: She/Her

╰► ₊ Sexuality: Aromantic and pansexual

╰► ₊ Birthday: 03/04

╰► ₊ Fandoms who participates: Genshin Impact, FNaF, Skullgirls, Cookie Run

✧ ⸽ Your oc ⸽ ✧

╰► ₊ Oc/Sona:

☆ ⸽ Glitch ⸽ ☆

╰► ₊ Name: Math

╰► ₊ Age:Minor

╰► ₊ Pronouns: He/him

╰► ₊ Sexuality: Aroace

╰► ₊ Birthday: 04/25

╰► ₊ Fandoms who participates: FNaF, Ordem Paranormal, Genshin Impact, Omori, Doki Doki Literature Club, The Apothecary Diaries, Undertale, Honkai Star Rail, Project Sekai, Poppy Playtime, theater of unhappy endings, Saiki Kusuo, indigo park, shifting, mother mother, stardew vally, little big planet, mushroom oasis, heartstopper, vocaloid, roblox, pressure, manhwa, Cellbit, Goularte, Invader zim, Calango, Orochi...

✧ ⸽ Your oc ⸽ ✧

╰► ₊ Name:"Glitch"

╰► ₊ Age:200+

╰► ₊ Facts about your oc:

- She is a puppet ;)

- She is quite flexible.

- For being a puppet, she does not understand human actions, because of this she replicates some of her friends actions.

╰► ₊ Oc/Sona:

(Art made by:@milkshak5)

☆ ⸽ Mika ⸽ ☆

╰► ₊ Name: Mika

╰► ₊ Age: minor

╰► ₊ Pronouns: she/her, he/him

╰► ₊ Sexuality: lesbian and demisexual

╰► ₊ Birthday: 01/09

╰► ₊ Fandoms who participates: FNaF, Poppy Playtime, Good Omens, Welcome Home, Helluva Boss, Heartstopper, TADC, Omori, DDLC...

✧ ⸽ Your oc ⸽ ✧

╰► ₊ Facts about your oc: she is very short and likes to wear high-necked clothes (she hides her face with the collar when she is nervous)

╰► ₊ Oc/Sona:

☆ ⸽ Emi ⸽ ☆

╰► ₊ Name: Emmiy

╰► ₊ Age: 16

╰► ₊ Pronouns: she/them

╰► ₊ Sexuality:assexual

╰► ₊ Birthday:03/19

╰► ₊ Fandoms who participates: Cotl, Fnaf, isat, Moominvalley, Welcome Home, Poppy Playtime, Stardew Valley

✧ ⸽ Your oc ⸽ ✧

╰► ₊ Name: Emi (Little Emi)

╰► ₊ Facts about your oc: she's kind of a shapeshifter, can create dimensional portals and depending on the place they change their form yay

╰► ₊ backstory: Emi lives in a blank space where everything they imagine creates life but only in that place, she manages to leave this blank space with portals going to other universes and yeah

☆ ⸽ Mari ⸽ ☆

╰► ₊ Name: Mari

╰► ₊ Age: 15

╰► ₊ Pronouns: Any pronouns

╰► ₊ Sexuality: Bisexual

╰► ₊ Birthday: 03/15

╰► ₊ Fandoms who participates:

Undertale, Omori, FNaF, Sally Face, Fran Bow, Little Misfortune, Poppy Playtime, Lily's Well, BBirthday, VT Harmony, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Coraline, Miraculous, Lacey's Flash Games, Paranormal Order, Yandere Simulator, Doki Doki Literature Club, Kamaitachi, Melanie Martinez, Vocaloid (especially Hatsune Miku) Backrooms, Cellbit, QSMP, Minecraft, Roblox, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, ENA, Julia MineGirl, Tex HS, Good Omens, Anne With An E, The Amazing Digital Circus, Murder Drones, Brubs, Goularte, Gacha Life, Shifting, Core, TV Girl, Sodikken...

✧ ⸽ Your oc ⸽ ✧

╰► ₊ Name: Mari

╰► ₊ Age: 15

╰► ₊ Facts about your oc: She loves white roses, has four imaginary friends (Elizabeth, Misty, Itzal and Aly), lives in a dreamcore/weirdcore world, doesn't like fighting and loud noises, loves music, etc... Sometimes has a weird black liquid pouring from his eyes

╰► ₊ Backstory: ...

[hyperfigations]

A Nightingale's Song: A Nice And Not-So-Accurate Season 3

Summary:

“How long are you going to brood today? Because we have about thirty minutes until I gotta close up shop,” A familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed the coffee shop owner had sat down at his table. Crowley rolled his eyes from underneath dark lenses. “M’not brooding,” He mumbled, attempting to take a sip of his coffee without wincing at the bad taste it left in his mouth. Nina knew better, especially after having to put up with him for the past six months. She gave him a knowing look. “I’d say all liars go to hell but ya know,” ♡♡♡ Two months after Aziraphale had accepted the Metatron's offer, the Second Coming is finally put into motion. Aziraphale and Crowley must get over their personal issues to do what they do best: Stop Heaven and Hell from destroying Earth.

Prologue: The angels fall and Aziraphale makes a new friend on the Eastern Gate.

Word Count: 2,382

TW: None! I don't think! Let me know if there is though!

Author's Note: Hello! First fic in a year or so! So I am VERYYY rusty 😭 I apologize for that! And first Good Omens fic I've ever written! I'm pretty excited! I hope you like it!!

Also Disclaimer: This fic is just for entertainment purposes! I'm not really trying to predict Season 3 or anything, this is all just for fun!!!

Please enjoy! And if you have any constructive criticism, please let me know! I always aim to write better! Thank you!!

God had once said the days leading to the Sin of Eden had all been nice.

But God lied.

The day the angels had fallen was indeed not nice. Though many were ready for this two-day war to be over, the end was not what they had in mind. It was a sour, bitter victory. They had watched their Lord cast out their once dear friends from their home, the very home they had helped build. The crowds of angels who were just battling their brothers and sisters now stared blankly down from Heaven through the parted clouds. Grief and horror had not existed before that moment, but it was written all over their faces.

God was never thought of as being cruel, at least not in those first few days of the world being made. But it was hard to think of Her as anything else as She made a point to let all those who were left see the Fall. It was like She wanted them to know the cost of disobedience.

The sight of all those who opposed Her dropping from the sky was… well, it was terrifying. If there were humans on Earth -which at this point in time, there weren’t- they would look up at the sky and see one of the most beautiful meteor showers they had ever laid eyes on. But there weren't any people on Earth. Not yet. And what the angels saw was anything but beautiful. They did look like stars falling from the dark blanket of a sky, the last of their grace being stripped away by gravity as it pulled them downward. The soft glow of their holy light was now replaced with a raging fire that outlined their bodies.

The Fall felt slow. Agonizing. Many tried to fly back upward, begging for their Creator to help them like a crying child reaching toward their mother. But God hadn’t even flinched. She watched Her creations tumble downward with no remorse. Their white wings set ablaze with just a blink of Her eyes and from the heavens, they could hear them screaming.

The Fallen’s descent from their old home was broken by boiling pools of sulfur. Thousands of disobedient angels splashed into these pools, and the heat did not comfort their already burning bodies.

They were all sobbing, screaming out to God. God was listening, but She didn’t answer.

The Fallen climbed their way out of the thick liquid, not looking quite the same as they were. Their once clear skin was now riddled with scales or warts or anything deemed unholy. They had features that looked quite similar to the animal prototypes that were still in beta back in Heaven, and the love they had once felt from God Herself was gone. They were left feeling unloved, unholy, and ugly.

They wanted to go back home.

But one Fallen Angel, a little more determined than the others to crawl out of boiling black sulfur pits, made his way to the edge of the bubbling pool. He forced himself up and out, his dark auburn curls matted down with black-like tar. His robes were now darkened, his wings still ablaze. His soft eyes were now sharp and yellow and filled with malice. They were burning and wet, not just from tears but from the chemicals that forced its way through his lids. He didn’t know if he was staring at his maker. But he did know She was listening. He could feel Her listening to all of their suffering. That in itself made him more livid.

“Why,” he screamed to Her. And all the angels who stayed above could hear him clearly over the cries of the damned. One angel was more interested in listening than the others. The fluffy-haired cherub stepped forward to get a better view of the ripped-open earth below where the Fallen had landed.

“You’re punishing us? And for what? You made us like this! You gave us the freedom to ask questions! To choose! Why punish us for how you made us?! Why should we pay for your mistake?!”

The one angel in the crowd cringed, as he looked down through the clouds. It was dawn now and the sun, the very sun that was made by that particular fallen angel, was shining against the Fallen. And the exiled angels were far easier to see now. The fallen angel, glaring at God, had in fact been the angel he saw create gorgeous star systems and beautiful nebulas. He never did catch his name… Not that it matters now. But even so, his heart hurt for him. The cherub whose name is Aziraphale, admired how passionate he had been while cranking up the engine to start the universe. Oh, how his eyes shined brightly, almost mimicking the stars he had just created. But that angel questioned God… He denied Her plan. Even now, he was still asking questions. The very same kind of questions that had led him to be punished. So why did Aziraphale feel so bad for him?

To Aziraphale’s horror, he found himself wondering the same thing. She created them. She gifted them with freedom of choice, but when some angels exercised that freedom, they were punished. What was the point of giving someone the right to choose if they can’t choose? the angel found himself pondering, but then his eyes met with the being that was God, and his thoughts were replaced with terror. She was all-knowing. She could probably hear every single doubt that crossed his mind. He didn’t want to fall… Falling was horrible… It wasn’t too long ago when angels would look to God and feel a warm comfort. She was supposed to be a beacon of hope. But She was radiating anything but. It was clear from the authority on Her face now that She wanted to be feared. And She was feared.

Angels were terrified to even speak, lest they say something that would displease Her. Nobody - not even the mightiest of archangels- dared to speak up.

They all stared at Her in silence… A deep, tense silence.

God decided She was quite finished with the Fallen. She had made her point loud and clear to her children. With the wave of Her hand, God closed the clouds so no one could see the Fallen any longer. The screams had ceased. Well, the screams continued but they just couldn't be heard by the angels anymore. Her head turned to look at all Her remaining soldiers and smiled a sickening, sweet grin. She glanced at the angel who stood next to Her, and he nodded. His white wings spread wide, his voice carrying across what was once a battlefield, “We've already wasted too much time, don't you all think? Let’s get back to work.”

With that, God left them to do Her work. The Metatron, the mouthpiece of God, reminded the angels that She wouldn’t punish them if She hadn’t cared. That she loved all of them dearly. But the word love didn’t feel right. How was what they saw love? But Aziraphale shook his head, eager to be rid of the doubt that began to riddle his mind.

Who were they to question God?

Even if it was clear that Her love was one of her many lies.

♡♡

Aziraphale didn’t feel like he earned his promotion, but when the Supreme Archangel tells you that you’re no longer a cherub but a principality, then you don’t argue. You just nod, and ask what to do next. The past few days had been busy since then. He had been put in charge of God's special little place on Earth that they had settled on calling the Garden of Eden. He was to look after it, protect it from the Fallen Angels, who (according to the Metatron) were to be called demons now. Aziraphale didn't get why, to be honest. Why would the Fallen Angels… or "demons" want to hurt what they helped create. Then again, nothing made sense anymore. Everyone in Heaven used to be so sure of themselves; of their work. But nowadays, since the end of the Great Battle, everyone felt like they were walking on eggshells. As if any minute mistake would cause any of them to join their estranged peers down in Hell.

Aziraphale stood on the Eastern Gate, mindlessly playing with the flaming sword that was given to him. He was told to use said sword if anyone threatened Eden, but if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know if he would ever use it. Not even on a demon. Even with the stories that Michael was telling the Cherubs about them, how evil they were. No, we wouldn’t dare… even so, he still held onto the sword dutifully, as if he would use it. He turned from the gigantic, beige dunes outside of the walls to look at the luscious, green beauty of God’s newest creation. Eden at the moment, was bountiful with hard-working angels, trying to get everything ready for tomorrow, which was going to be a big day, so they were told. Word upstairs was that God was ready to let loose Her newest invention: humans. This day was the day that all angels have been waiting for since God Herself presented the plan she had for Earth.

His face brightened slightly at the sight of some angels tending to the plants in the garden, laughing amongst themselves as they worked. For the first time in a few days, they seemed relaxed. Like they were Before.

It was nice.

A low hissing noise sounded near his feet. The principality let out an involuntary yelp, jumping back. His white wings spread above as if to make him seem bigger than whatever had startled him. His grip on the hilt of the sword tightened as he looked down at the end of his white robes only to see a long line of black and red scales. The angel’s eyes narrowed as he stepped forward to take a closer look. He was a bit surprised to see the black and red line staring straight back up at him, with gleaming yellow eyes. Aziraphale had seen prototypes back in Heaven of a creature like this, though at the moment the name of such a beast slipped his mind. He glanced down at the group of angels to see if they had heard him, but thank the Lord, they did not. How embarrassing would that be? To be frightened so easily by a creation of God? Aziraphale’s face flushed red, letting out a flustered giggle.

“Oh dear,” He said. “You gave me quite the scare.”He bent down, the bottom of his wings laying gently on the warm, gray stone of the wall behind him. He beamed bashfully at the beast, who was still watching him curiously. “What are you doing up here?” He asked, inquisitively. “I do rather think you’re supposed to be down in the garden with the other animals.” Aziraphale watched the beast as if it was supposed to answer him. “I suppose you’re just being curious. I don’t blame you, truthfully.” The angel stood up straight just to sit down on the edge of the wall, watching the others work once again, his legs dangling over the edge. The beast didn’t move, he still just watched the guardian. It almost carried a nervous energy to it and turned its attention to the flaming sword in his hand. Realization dawns upon the angel's face and without hesitation, he set the sword on his side away from the creature. "Oh no, don't worry, my dear," he whispered sweetly. "You're safe here." Aziraphale's face grew brighter as the beast slithered its way up next to him. It kept its golden eyes fixed on him, cautiously. "I bet all you creatures are very confused with what's going on down there," He told it. "Tomorrow is a big day. A happy one at that! Everything we've worked on… fought for will all be clear tomorrow." The beast gave him a look of doubt. Aziraphale could feel it wash over him, "Well… at least I hope it will be clear." He glanced at it, his lips creasing down on his face but quickly shook it off. "No, no. It will be. God has a plan, and we angels have the easy part. We just follow it." For the first time since it had got here, the beast stared away from the angel and out into the garden. It was thinking. "Well then," Aziraphale sighed, startling the beast out of its thoughts. It let out a small hiss, moving away from the angel as he scrambled up to his feet, snatching up the flaming sword on his way up. Aziraphale didn't pay any mind to the creature, it was obviously just afraid, and though he didn't understand why, he knew better than to pry into its business. Not that he could actually talk to it anyway. The other animals weren't up to conversation, and he assumed that this one wasn't any different. This one was different however in the way it did seem to respond. Maybe not in words but he could feel that it understood him. He'd never come across such a clever creature. "I should return to my duties before Archangel Gabriel catches me lounging around. You see, he doesn’t take kind to being lazy on the job. You should get back with the other animals, my dear." The beast glanced his way and then back at the garden, almost looking a bit hesitant to go in. Aziraphale waved his hands dismissively, "Not that I don't enjoy your company. Because I do! But I'm sure the angels down there will notice you gone, and everything must be in tip-top condition for tomorrow. So off you go!" The beast's forked tongue tested the air before it slipped its way down the stone and into Eden. The Guardian of the Eastern Gate grinned proudly to himself as if to say ‘Good job me! Making sure tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible!’ He now was ready (if not far more ready than before) to continue his duty of making sure no pesky demons make their way into the garden.