#i love my parents they’re so funny

[queengmine2crayon]

Family dinner this evening, my mom’s talking about how the girl in the train last Friday was a jerk:

Me: "wow, Mom, that’s so funny, you start being [can mean "acting" in French] like me!" [big motions with hands, mocking the girl by acting absurdly]

My dad, in a fake-exasperated tone: "oh no… you’re gay??"

Guys I laughed so hard I almost chocked on my drink. I love my dad xD 💚

[crybaby-bkg]

new dad Bakugou who’s going back to work full time almost a full year after his daughter his born and he now has to grapple with the fact that….goddamn, he’s spoiled the shit outta her.

well, he doesn’t think it was spoiling her. in actuality, he just created a routine with her, gave her every bit of his attention, held her when she cried, scolded her (yes just at eight months) whenever she’d babble for more puffs even though she’s had enough already. it wasn’t spoiling, it wasn’t. he vowed to never be that dad, to raise a snot nosed brat, one similar to himself.

but here he is, on a Tuesday morning three weeks after her first birthday. he’s standing halfway between the front door and the living room in full uniform, with his still sleepy baby and her even sleepier mama. she’s gripping his neck like he promised to abandon her, wailing and crying so loud and dramatically, that you can’t help but chuckle at her antics and how he wavers ever so slightly.

“You promised you’d go back to work,” you scold him gently, rubbing at your daughters quivering back when she whines again the moment he acts like he’s gonna pull her off. Bakugou frowns at you, and you shrug, smoothing her unruly blond curls away from her sticky forehead.

“But you guys need me.” He pouts, eyebrows downturned as he pulls her away enough to wipe at her wet face. she blubbers again, whimpering out a small dadaaaa noooo, that absolutely breaks his heart.

“And so does the world.” You smile at him, gently pulling your daughter away from the matching glassy red eyes who watch her go. “We’ll be fine, my love. Promise.”

Bakugou looks unconvinced, especially since your daughter reaches for him with another cry of his name. you don’t say anything when he sniffles discreetly, quickly reaching down to the coffee table to snatch up his utility belt that he dropped when she waddled out of her room in tears. he snaps it on wordlessly, and you go to turn to the kitchen when he wraps you both up in his arms.

“Love you,” he whispers against your forehead before pecking it, leaning down to kiss your lips next, and then your daughter’s fat little cheeks. He whispers another love you to her, and wipes away at her rosy cheeks when she pouts at him.

“Rub you.” your daughter pouts, the both of you freezing in shock.

“Oh my god,” you whisper, grinning. “She said I love you back!” Bakugou matches your grin, laughing under his breath as he presses another torrent of kisses all of her face. for the first time since she’s opened her eyes today, she laughs, loud and joyous and familiar. he thinks that maybe going back in today won’t be so bad after all. not if this is what he’ll be coming home to.

[hanzajesthanza]

geralt and ciri are like the parent-child version of “would you still love me if i was a worm” test for relationships like “would you still love me if i was Evil incarnate and was a damaged child sick with a thirst for revenge and you would regret teaching me how to kill”

[dayurno]

who up doing brilliant and unparalleled things to his cervix. who up putting kevin’s name in their ignorant mouth. who up learning french so it could be our secret. who up watching a beautiful boy lean in. who up feeling tempted over kevin’s conspiratorial whispering. who up getting fucked over by a pretty face. who up doing anything for that stupid man

[gods-favorite-autistic]

I feel like a lot of fantasy high parents are just like yeah in the context of the fact that it’s 1 a comedy show and 2 a dnd suburbia combo a lot of this stuff is normal for who these people and how they raise and interact with their kids but oh my god that is fucked up

[whenthegoldrays]

💡

[sappy-detective]

[sophegg]

i love the egg child part of the qsmp so much i just need to put it into words. it’s such a smart idea for how to make sure the server stays active — it’s not an activity requirement, but if you don’t take care of your egg, it will die. theoretically, you could just let your egg die and you can let someone else take care of it when you aren’t free to join. but people fall in love with their little pixel children and then they WANT to be active, it’s not an obligation they have to fill but something their consistently excited to do.

and having the parents be an english streamer and a spanish streamer is such a good way to make sure they all interact with each other across the language barrier. sure, there is some in-game translation to make things easier, but they also end up talking on discord to coordinate childcare and in the screenshots we’ve seen i think it’s so interesting how they’ll often speak the other person’s language rather than just picking one to both use or only using their own. co-parenting also gives them the basis for building up strong and unique relationships between the streamers themselves and their qsmp characters, which would’ve been much harder to develop without being given a starting point given the language barrier.

it’s just so clear how much thought quackity has put into this server and it’s so fun to watch everyone fall in love with their little egg children

[bibleofficial]

went to the beach w kp & 4 other indian friends & 3 of us had NEVER surfed before girl WHEW it’s SO fun literally only 20quid to rent a wetsuit & board & i fucking smashed my toes on the sand so much, but also we 1) got the wrong tickets so we got off 1 stop early 2) went to find a bus & the bus that was supposed to be 15 min turned into an HOUR 3) on our way to find a bus back everyone’s phones are dying or dead bc it took us 3hrs longer to get there, cigarettes are out 4) all of the shops in town are closed & the town seems to have ONLY a tesco extra & 1 off license that sells a PACK FOR 15.65 A PACK WHICH IS FUCKING CRIMINAL ITS CHEAPER TO BUY IT FROM TESCO ARE U INSANE 5) the bus back to the other town kept skipping us bc the bus stop wasn’t the ACTUAL bus stop - i had 1 bowl since literally 11a & we got back at fucking 11p 😭😭😭

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

Some venting in the tags because sometimes it’s easier to vent into the void than talk to my therapist 🙂 Although I should probably make an appointment and bring this up with her. Don’t mind me being depressed for a minute 😂 Carry on with your whoring and other shenanigans

[ursamajori]

the thing you need to know about me is that i will drop everything to get into a story with a good sibling plot like out of all the character dynamics there can be in stories good sibling dynamics (not even positive just interesting) are my favorite no contest

[alloutshirt]

disclaimer : this is a personal life vent look away

shouldn’t be sharing this but i need to take it off my brain (wow reading it back it really sounds like i lost my mind but unfortunately it’s all true and not all of it fits in 30 tags lmaooo)

[drunk-poets-society]

Man, working with kids is so entertaining. This 8th grader I’m teaching is so enamoured by me and I just lie to him abt the most inconsequential shit lol.

[toothandfeather]

guys

the silliest thing happened today

While we were eating dinner, I was talking about a childhood friend and I randomly said: “I wonder if she likes k pop”

then my sister said “why”

my mom nodded while eating,

and my dad was like “hm no they eat Chinese food”

and we all looked at him

Then I asked: “what did you think I said”

and then I added

“kebab?”

my mom asked:

“Gong bao?” (As in Kung Pao chicken the dish)

and he said:

“Nutmeg”

😭how he heard nutmeg beats me

shenanigans with Chinese parents I guess

[kkoraki]

i am once again asking my mom to Not

[rackartyg]

tinwë stayed an extra day with my parents over the weekend last weekend and came home sunday night. she did so well on the car ride out (when i was there) but apparently had an absolutely horrid time on the car ride back (when i wasn’t). my mum carried her out of the car and halfway up the stairs to my flat where i met them, and when tinwë saw me she started wriggling to get to me and when my mother transferred her to my arms, she instantly started purring just so loudly and sat so still all the way back up. she hates being carried.

she loves me! she really does! i’m her safe space!