#i love my parents they’re so funny
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Family dinner this evening, my mom’s talking about how the girl in the train last Friday was a jerk:
Me: "wow, Mom, that’s so funny, you start being [can mean "acting" in French] like me!" [big motions with hands, mocking the girl by acting absurdly]
My dad, in a fake-exasperated tone: "oh no… you’re gay??"
Guys I laughed so hard I almost chocked on my drink. I love my dad xD 💚
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new dad Bakugou who’s going back to work full time almost a full year after his daughter his born and he now has to grapple with the fact that….goddamn, he’s spoiled the shit outta her.
well, he doesn’t think it was spoiling her. in actuality, he just created a routine with her, gave her every bit of his attention, held her when she cried, scolded her (yes just at eight months) whenever she’d babble for more puffs even though she’s had enough already. it wasn’t spoiling, it wasn’t. he vowed to never be that dad, to raise a snot nosed brat, one similar to himself.
but here he is, on a Tuesday morning three weeks after her first birthday. he’s standing halfway between the front door and the living room in full uniform, with his still sleepy baby and her even sleepier mama. she’s gripping his neck like he promised to abandon her, wailing and crying so loud and dramatically, that you can’t help but chuckle at her antics and how he wavers ever so slightly.
“You promised you’d go back to work,” you scold him gently, rubbing at your daughters quivering back when she whines again the moment he acts like he’s gonna pull her off. Bakugou frowns at you, and you shrug, smoothing her unruly blond curls away from her sticky forehead.
“But you guys need me.” He pouts, eyebrows downturned as he pulls her away enough to wipe at her wet face. she blubbers again, whimpering out a small dadaaaa noooo, that absolutely breaks his heart.
“And so does the world.” You smile at him, gently pulling your daughter away from the matching glassy red eyes who watch her go. “We’ll be fine, my love. Promise.”
Bakugou looks unconvinced, especially since your daughter reaches for him with another cry of his name. you don’t say anything when he sniffles discreetly, quickly reaching down to the coffee table to snatch up his utility belt that he dropped when she waddled out of her room in tears. he snaps it on wordlessly, and you go to turn to the kitchen when he wraps you both up in his arms.
“Love you,” he whispers against your forehead before pecking it, leaning down to kiss your lips next, and then your daughter’s fat little cheeks. He whispers another love you to her, and wipes away at her rosy cheeks when she pouts at him.
“Rub you.” your daughter pouts, the both of you freezing in shock.
“Oh my god,” you whisper, grinning. “She said I love you back!” Bakugou matches your grin, laughing under his breath as he presses another torrent of kisses all of her face. for the first time since she’s opened her eyes today, she laughs, loud and joyous and familiar. he thinks that maybe going back in today won’t be so bad after all. not if this is what he’ll be coming home to.
#I have been tormented with dad bkg thoughts again I fear#he’s too loveable for his own good#but also the thought of bkg becoming a dad and vowing he’d be this certain way#but then his kid comes out and he’s like. yes. values. parenting skills. life lessons. discipline and love.#and then all of it goes out the window when they just look at him#and they look so much like him and they’re just so cute and annoying and. now he’s brought them everything they’ve ever wanted LOL#also I love toddlers who speak like non conventionally/stereotypically#like my youngest niece turns all of her consonants to ‘h’ for 2 syllable words#and it’s so funny bc everything sounds like ‘huh hah huhh’#but she’s also VERY clear when she wants to be lol she just gets excited sometimes and forgets to enunciate#okay rambling sorry but I love babies LOL#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬#dad bkg
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geralt and ciri are like the parent-child version of “would you still love me if i was a worm” test for relationships like “would you still love me if i was Evil incarnate and was a damaged child sick with a thirst for revenge and you would regret teaching me how to kill”
#love that when ciri is reunited with her parents her desire to murder goes away. they’re the image of a healthy nuclear family#‘that is not a child’ ‘no im pretty sure shes a child and shes also my child’ philippa geralt exchange is so funny to me#philippa is like this is serious and geralt is like i AM serious. FOR HER I WILL KILL. I WILL KILL MERCILESSLY#vilgefortz 🤝 philippa ‘that is not a child’ lmaoooooo she is 12 and has baby cheeks and big green eyes. that’s a child#the elbow-high diaries#geralt and ciri end of chapter 3 blood of elves That Is All. that is all. also lotl ch 9 ofc but who’s counting#f: something more
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who up doing brilliant and unparalleled things to his cervix. who up putting kevin’s name in their ignorant mouth. who up learning french so it could be our secret. who up watching a beautiful boy lean in. who up feeling tempted over kevin’s conspiratorial whispering. who up getting fucked over by a pretty face. who up doing anything for that stupid man
#i will not be normal#i promised nora sakavic this i will promise you now#i will not be normal about any of this#jean is having a normal one about kevin. as are we#also jeremy sending kevin a long heartfelt letter which kevin promptly ignored has got to be so hilarious#kevin: my coworker jeremy knox#my co-parent jeremy knox#he loves and appreciates usc so much but its literally just for work. they’re literally coworkers#its very funny and beautiful in kevinland. i will give it that#txt#tsc#kevin#kevjean#keremy
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I feel like a lot of fantasy high parents are just like yeah in the context of the fact that it’s 1 a comedy show and 2 a dnd suburbia combo a lot of this stuff is normal for who these people and how they raise and interact with their kids but oh my god that is fucked up
#fantasy high spoilers for the tags#this entirely about fabians relationship with his parents because those are fucked up so badly#but also just like the way sandra lynn interacts with fig is just like there’s a lot there#like it’s a comedy show so we do in fact laugh through hallariel threatening fabian and sandra lynn downing wine to be able to talk to fig#but like if this were any other show that shit would not be normalized#not a critique of fantasy high at all! in context of the show obviously they’re not doing the deeper analysis into stuff like that!#its an improv comedy! analyzation of characters and their relationships and actions is what rhe fandoms for!#it gives a bunch of stuff for us to go on and I love that it’s just interesting to talk about the dynamics and how they’re perceived#in universe by the actual characters vs in the show lense#hallariel seacaster is my opp but I also love her as a character#same with bill seacaster like opp actions but such a fun funny and interesting character#sandra lynn is not an opp but she verges on it occasionally and I also love her character#I’m rambling again but the bad kids parental relationships make me go anfnjakfbejakakdkkkea#autism (mads) speaks#fantasy high hours#fantasy high#dimension 20#dimension 20 fantasy high#d20#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20 fh
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💡
#do y’all remember Nice Smile Guy????#I wanna set him up with my friend so bad#but I told my parents and my mom was like “plEAse that guy doesn’t want to get married” which like. how do you know that mom#did he tell you?? no you just assume that#and I’m not kidding they’re like perfect for each other#and I already asked her if she minds a younger guy and she said she doesn’t so#I just need to get them at a dinner party together#but aaaaagh#what if he really doesn’t want to get married#though I cannot lie I feel like even if he doesn’t he’d change his mind if he met her!!#she’s so pretty and funny and kind#and she loves to travel and so does he!!!#and I think they’re very similar in their goals and ideals#and he’s handsome and hardworking and has this very specific special gentleness about him#it would WORK I’m tELLing you#(and it’s not even a big age difference it’s like 3 to 6 years)#(I’m not sure about his exact age but he can’t be that much younger than her)#SO YEAG#not me shipping real people 😭#elly's posts
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#it’s KINDA funny#sorry about south park winter… danganronpa coming soon (maybe. hopefully.)#OKAY RANT ABOUT THE SP FANDOME SORRY!#i hate bitches who hate the quote on quote new south park fans#like south park isn’t the most popular adult cartoon out there#not everyone started liking it JUST because tim tok. it’s a VERY famous show#i watched it when i was little with my parents and i get people pissy i’m a “new SP fan” when they’re like the same age as me??#god forbid people have fun in a fandome anymore#“it’s so cringe” i actually don’t care there is going to quote on quote cringe fans in ANY fandome you’re in#why do you care so much#“matt n tray would hate you/the kids would make fun of you”#matt n trey love their fans and like the fanart. they made a whole ep because of creek fanart#and the kids make fun of everyone#let people have fun who cares if you think they’re annoying new SP fans stop being so misrble ESPECIALLY if u make fun of SP cosplayers#especially if they have piercings and people get piss they make them look different it’s called having fun#okay rant over sorry gang! i saw this picture and thought it was funny mwah#here’s the tags#south park#kenny mcormick fanart#kenny mccormick#art#my art#fan art#digital art#southpark#south park art#Spotify
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i love the egg child part of the qsmp so much i just need to put it into words. it’s such a smart idea for how to make sure the server stays active — it’s not an activity requirement, but if you don’t take care of your egg, it will die. theoretically, you could just let your egg die and you can let someone else take care of it when you aren’t free to join. but people fall in love with their little pixel children and then they WANT to be active, it’s not an obligation they have to fill but something their consistently excited to do.
and having the parents be an english streamer and a spanish streamer is such a good way to make sure they all interact with each other across the language barrier. sure, there is some in-game translation to make things easier, but they also end up talking on discord to coordinate childcare and in the screenshots we’ve seen i think it’s so interesting how they’ll often speak the other person’s language rather than just picking one to both use or only using their own. co-parenting also gives them the basis for building up strong and unique relationships between the streamers themselves and their qsmp characters, which would’ve been much harder to develop without being given a starting point given the language barrier.
it’s just so clear how much thought quackity has put into this server and it’s so fun to watch everyone fall in love with their little egg children
#also as a side note the people ahead of time being like ‘this is such a random group of people why did q pick them they aren’t even friends’#it makes a lot more sense with the egg context#everyone he picked is someone who will be a good parent#their online personas allow for them to be responsible without losing the way they normally act in content#and they’re all the kind of people who take silly things seriously and won’t think it’s funny just to kill other people’s eggs for no reason#like i love tommy and he is great at loving things in minecraft but it would be SO weird to see him be a parent yknow#like it just doesn’t fit with his online persona he’s presenting more mature as he gets older but still#the ‘child’ propaganda is still too strong rn#and regardless of how close quackity currently is or isn’t with dteam and co#i think it’s pretty clear why he wouldn’t want to include anyone who participated in trying to kill micheal b.#it’s not the vibe he was going for with this server#the way that things have played out with the eggs makes it very clear that everyone was well chosen for this server#it’s good content but still lighthearted and filled with love#very long tag rant oops#qsmp#my post
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went to the beach w kp & 4 other indian friends & 3 of us had NEVER surfed before girl WHEW it’s SO fun literally only 20quid to rent a wetsuit & board & i fucking smashed my toes on the sand so much, but also we 1) got the wrong tickets so we got off 1 stop early 2) went to find a bus & the bus that was supposed to be 15 min turned into an HOUR 3) on our way to find a bus back everyone’s phones are dying or dead bc it took us 3hrs longer to get there, cigarettes are out 4) all of the shops in town are closed & the town seems to have ONLY a tesco extra & 1 off license that sells a PACK FOR 15.65 A PACK WHICH IS FUCKING CRIMINAL ITS CHEAPER TO BUY IT FROM TESCO ARE U INSANE 5) the bus back to the other town kept skipping us bc the bus stop wasn’t the ACTUAL bus stop - i had 1 bowl since literally 11a & we got back at fucking 11p 😭😭😭
#diary#i was honestly abt to strangle EVERYBODY#‘do u have a cigarette’ ‘where’s ur vape’ ‘where are we going’ ‘which bus is it’ ‘do u have a ___’ ‘did u bring ___’ girl what am i DORA w#the magic fuckin BACKPACK ??? while ur UP MY ASS dig around & SEE IF SMTHGS IN THERE 😭😭😭😭#i literally broke sobriety again bc i was just#girl i was so agitated & there was 1 TRAIN LEFT BEFORE 11P so we needed to get the 2ND TO LAST BUS OF THE DAY#i deadass was like ‘if we miss that train i will make sure u all go blind’ ‘did u bring a knife’ ‘I DONT NEED 1’#AKSJAKSKAKKSJSKSSJAKJSKAHSKSHDLASKAKDLA#LIKE U BITCHES SMOKED ALL MY CIGARETTES MY VAPES DEAD MY PHONES DYING UR ALL DRUNK IM GOING TO KILL YALL 😭😭😭😭😭#<- me knowing i could never be a parent#tbh if i caught my kid smoking a cig id make em do the ol ‘im going to sit down in front of u w a fresh box of cigarettes & make u finish#the box or pass out’#YES IM STRICT#i think it’s so funny ok unrelated but like they’ll speak hindi & i’ve just#learned it through being around them kind of like i can’t speak it except for some word u know like matachot etc but i’ll Understand the#Context & what’s being Said#ASLKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA like while waiting for the train back 1 of them was talking abt me being a fool to the others - literally they’re#all indian & i had walked away so when i walked back he was still talkin but then i started giggling bc i knew he was talkin abt me & how i#pinched a bit of the kebab to throw to the seagull bc he offered it to me & i needed to bait the seagull w something & i pinched & tossed &#& he looked at me like 😦 bhenchod ! & then the seagull came over & i was like :D hi bestie <3333 but then when i started giggling after i#walked back he was like ‘what the fuck does he just know hindi now’#it makes me laugh so fucking HARD 😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE FUCK U I LIKE TO PARTICPATE IN COVERSATION IDC ABT LANGUAGE#like i’ve been surrounded by yall for the past#girl it’s been like a year i don’t even talk to british ppl or americans#ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLALSLA MESS ! i love to slavsquat & kp hates it bc he’s like ‘we’re in the uk why are u sitting like this’ bc he thinks#it’s ’too indian’ ALSKALSKALSKALJSKAKDLA 😭😭😭😭😭 this hips were made for sitting#we’re definitely going to go back bc it’s SO CLOSE IF WE ACTUALLY USE THE TRANSPORT PROPERLY ITS ONLY LIKE AN HOUR OR SO COMMUTE EACH WAY#bring lunch whatever#i’m exhausted but also socially like bro i had to leave the donner place just to walk around the block for SOME QUIET#i’ve just been sososososo busy LOSING MY MIND
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Some venting in the tags because sometimes it’s easier to vent into the void than talk to my therapist 🙂 Although I should probably make an appointment and bring this up with her. Don’t mind me being depressed for a minute 😂 Carry on with your whoring and other shenanigans
#I’m so deeply depressed that it’s not even funny anymore 🙂#Even with all the help I’m getting with therapy and how wonderful my parents are in letting me know that they’re here for me and will help#me no matter what I’m still so fucking depressed and bordering falling into a deep dark fucking hole 🙂#And I feel so guilty because with all this help and love? I surely shouldn’t be feeling like this?#It just fucking sucks and I literally just want to disappear into a fucking cabin in the woods away from all the bullshit#that’s making me so depressed and miserable.#This is kind of dark but I don’t want to live but at the same time I don’t want to die(?)#Idk I find pleasure and joy sometimes in the small things but at the same time I just don’t feel any real joy or light deep inside me.#It kind of feels fake? Forced maybe? This joy I sometimes get. Because I think I just feel empty mostly.#Like there is no real life in me or something. I always think I’m overreacting or being dramatic but this is literally how I feel.#I’ve been trying to suppress this for so long and act like everything fine but I don’t have the strength for that anymore tbh.#So idk? Am I actually depressed or just overreacting? I should probably be asking my therapist this and not the Tumblr void 😂#and I’m sending a little hug and strength out into the dark void of anyone needs it 🫂
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the thing you need to know about me is that i will drop everything to get into a story with a good sibling plot like out of all the character dynamics there can be in stories good sibling dynamics (not even positive just interesting) are my favorite no contest
#seriously it just Gets Me#my ttrpgs are all so funny bc i always need something going on w siblings#one of them is just my character and another pc having a one that got away plot. with (almost) adoptive siblings. IYS REALLY GOOD#yes this is my casboy and his sister tcheuran . there’s also the party’s warlock ida who is also cas’ new sister. i fucking love found famly#but even then like. not just found family i lose it over any sibling dynamic found chosen raised with bio whatever i just love siblings#again my character cas has. literally some of All of those to differing levels of positive / negative but they’re all interesting as hell#but i’ll stop w that for now bc i WILL be here all day#yes this is bc i’m thinking abt king ohger literally look at the last post i made.#and don’t get me wrong i love a good platonic or romantic or parental dynamic but just#nothing will ever get me the way siblings do.#(well ok sometimes platonic depending on how close the characters are bc often it can be similar to found/chosen siblings but—#—a found family doesn’t Need specific terms and often doesn’t/is a mix of multiple types of relationships so. yknow. platonics more broad)#anyways i’m gonna be normal again and take a nap#starspeak#my campaigns
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Man, working with kids is so entertaining. This 8th grader I’m teaching is so enamoured by me and I just lie to him abt the most inconsequential shit lol.
#I love kids they’re so funny sometimes#brah this little boy is so fucking funny like#him and his friend got into an argument and he was like ‘let’s arm wrestle about it’ and his friend was like ‘you won’t win’ and this kid is#like ‘I won’t but I’m still gonna do it’#hes like i know im gonna lose but I’ll still fight you#one day I asked him if he liked his ass beat (in a more professional manner obv) and he was just like ‘yes’ I was like ????😭😭😭#omg he’s got Ranpo vibes lol. very very son boy energy#today I told him that I have a skateboard and his eyes LIT UP and he was like CAN I TRY PLEASEEEEE#I was like child……#he said he wants to learn how to skateboard and I low key want to teach him?? I kinda like hanging out with him he’s very entertaining#very sharp as well like he’s a great learner and catches concepts very well he’s just a little insufferable at times but like. I get it yk?#he’s annoying but in like a charming kid way. like it’s endearing in a way. like sometimes you wanna toss him into the ocean but you also#wanna protect him yk? now I know why fukuzawa felt so compelled to adopt Ranpo like I get it now#I feel my parental instincts swell 10x when I’m with that kid#low key makes me want a kid but I know I’m not fit to raise a kid but like gradual exposure like this is enough for me I can’t care full#time for a whole other human. though teaching them stuff is so fun lol#text
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guys
the silliest thing happened today
While we were eating dinner, I was talking about a childhood friend and I randomly said: “I wonder if she likes k pop”
then my sister said “why”
my mom nodded while eating,
and my dad was like “hm no they eat Chinese food”
and we all looked at him
Then I asked: “what did you think I said”
and then I added
“kebab?”
my mom asked:
“Gong bao?” (As in Kung Pao chicken the dish)
and he said:
“Nutmeg”
😭how he heard nutmeg beats me
shenanigans with Chinese parents I guess
#anyways#I like to yap#and this was funnier irl#I love my parents#they’re so funny#how do you mistake kpop for nutmeg though#I’m confused#but that’s okay#it feels nice to laugh
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tinwë stayed an extra day with my parents over the weekend last weekend and came home sunday night. she did so well on the car ride out (when i was there) but apparently had an absolutely horrid time on the car ride back (when i wasn’t). my mum carried her out of the car and halfway up the stairs to my flat where i met them, and when tinwë saw me she started wriggling to get to me and when my mother transferred her to my arms, she instantly started purring just so loudly and sat so still all the way back up. she hates being carried.
she loves me! she really does! i’m her safe space!
#origpost#tinwë tag#brought to you by her scratching to be let into the bathroom when she decided nimbus and i had been there for too long#and she needed to check on us to make sure the toilet demons hadn’t gotten us#she is usually content to just loaf outside the door and wait#familyposting#my parents got to borrow her for an extra day because my dad has been begging me for months and his anxiety#sucks rn and she was already there so like an extra day didn’t hurt#i wish he’d just admit that’s why he wants to borrow her though. but instead#he’s like ‘but it’s not good for her to be inside all the time :( she needs to come to us so she can be outside!’#he drank a bit too much wine friday night and oh my god he was so adorable with the cats#he loves cats so much i’m so sad for him that he’s allergic#my mum ALSO loves borrowing tinwë but she’s honest about it#she’s just like ‘yeah i just like having a little creature around ☺️ no worries if not tho it’s your cat’#and she respects what i tell them about how they’re allowed to treat the cats#which is funny because she’s normally the worst about respecting boundaries
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THREE PEAS IN A POD . . . husband ! katsuki bakugou featuring your two babies / f ! reader / fluff / the both of you are already parents!
katsuki definitely prides himself in having two beautiful babies and the family you built together.
one girl, one boy (he’s older just a bit), and it’s funny how despite you being the one carrying them for 9 months his genes won in a landslide. however, your baby boy has eyes just like yours!
what you didn’t know, was how much they actually took after their dad. it was beyond their physical attributes.
katsuki finally had a day off and as much as you wanted to skip work that day and spend time with them, the projects just kept piling up that you couldn’t even fake a cold.
he reassures you that he can handle them.
katsuki’s woken up by his two little runts, shaking him in excitement. he’d pretend to sleep for a bit, peeking with one eye open to see them frowning at each other because he’s taking too long to ‘wake up.’ only to sit up and grab them. they squeal in surprise as he pulls them down to his chest, twisting and turning—putting them other the covers, already having so much fun at the start of the day.
after he made them breakfast he wanted to take them out to the mall, spoil them a little bit. they were really well behaved (something you taught them well!) and didn’t fuss even when they missed you. thinking that if they’re sad you’re not here, daddy will get sad too and they wouldn’t want that—today’s supposed to be a happy day!
at the mall he’d get a few compliments and whispers from moms and fans. how they look so much like him, how they even walk like him! it’s really adorable how he made them wear matching outfits, even sunglasses! two mini bakugou’s!
but genetics weren’t the only thing they got from him you see. they visited all types of shops, getting a few things of what they want here and there because katsuki always said to “just get anything you want.” their eyes are so bright and full of excitement. he has to slouch a bit while they’re walking hand in hand, bringing him to every aisle they take an interest in while he follows happily.
still, a phrase would always pop up from one of them. “maybe mommy would like this!” or “should we buy these for mommy too?” and they’d be showing it to him so proudly he’s almost melting. feeling so proud that a part of his love for you transferred onto them as well. they’re absolutely his kids, no doubt about it. ends up getting everything they wanted to get for you.
doesn’t even care if it’s obvious that you’re their favorite. chuckling to himself that the bags he’s carrying is mostly stuff the kids picked out for you. besides, you never asked for anything, but they listen real well, just like their father. “i hope mommy’s happy with all the things we got her!” your daughter says while he helps her with her seatbelt. “she definitely will be.”
and when you get home you see he’s watching them from the couch as they set on their little chairs drawings happily. when they realize you were there all three of then stands up to greet you. and you give each of them a kiss.
when you helped sort out some of their ‘shopping’ you see a this really expensive coat that you were eyeing just a week ago while your little girl slept on your lap (you didn’t know she was peeking from time to time).
you’re so happy you ended up hugging him so tightly, “oh my katsuki, how’d you know?” and he would shake his head with a smile, “i didn’t pick that one babe, she did.”
yeah, they definitely take after him at least eighty percent!
do not copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost my works
note : papa katsuki cradling his little ones in each of his arms while carrying the bags without the need of a shopping cart… i’d be asking for baby number 3 idk what to name these two ><
spin off — late send with todoroki shouto <3
#bnha x reader#mha x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo x reader#my hero academia fluff#bnha fluff#bakugou fluff#bakugo fluff#katsuki bakugou fluff#bakugou katsuki fluff#ᦾִ❤︎ by cola
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Since I’ve been encouraged to actually share my funny little blorbo ideas here’s another one gang;
Danny moves to Gotham on scholarship for engineering, because the Fentons may be infamous but they’re also insanely brilliant and besides both he and Jazz are showing every sign of embarrassed child of a super genius syndrome, so while the bats are keeping a close eye on him Just In Case, duke is also thinking of introducing him to the Our Parents Are Maniacs But Anyway club maybe after the first month or so.
Gotham does not go for standard dorm living bc of his ‘condition’ and lack of wanting to constantly spook/gaslight a roommate. Besides, living with two small children is a dorm sounds like a disaster in action.
So Danny signs up as a mechanic in Crime Alley, buys himself a teeny weensy lil apartment and Makes It Work. He has been all year after showing up with a de aged Dani and Dan in Amnity after all, and that had gone,,, fine? (The entire town, observing how Danny had been getting increasingly more uncomfortable around his godfather prior to the cloning incident, then just dropped off the face of the earth for several months, the first two weeks stuck in Vlad’s basement enduring horrors and the next Too Many desperately fapping around in the Ghost Zone to get everything handled. All the clones live, all 13 of them. Bunch of them are stuck in the Ghost Zone due to constant need for ectoplasm, but eh, plenty of Zone born never leave, so. One, in the future, apprentices under a green warrior lady on Pandora’s suggestion, another is working in the Eternal Library with Ghost Writer, etc etc. so Danny eventually came back to Amnity with one small child under each arm very obviously traumatized by Somethingn with vlad and doesn’t like being alone with him,,, or touched without warning,, and immediately and passionately proclaims the kids his but struggles to explain how or why,, look some very reasonable assumptions are drawn okay. So the town does the very reasonable thing and does the midwestern equivilant of excommunicating Vlad, except it’s a lot more run him out with pitchforks vibes since he’s the Mayor. Anyway)
He is immediately loved, because while non Gothamites are usually more of a pain than they’re worth, everyone in a while someone even from out of town will just fit in so nicely it’s uncanny for everyone involved. Addams family vibes, it’s referred to as ‘making it home’, just personal hc. He is protective of all the kids playing in the parks and street girls that can totally take care of themselves on their corners but find it HILARIOUS when he just tackles a dick like a wild animal full force no warning. He can fix anything it seems, but refuses to work with weapons. Reasonable enough, people get twitchy about gangs sometimes. Danny mentions being not against Hood or anything, but he’s not going to work for him, littles to take care of and all, but had past experience with ‘Dora and that inheritance mess with her brother he was being a real prick about’ so everyone assumes it’s the equivilant of him having Done His Time and being plenty good for a life time and respects it as long as none of that petty midwestern small town hotshots bring any of that shit over here. And they don’t, because said individuals are on the other side of the mortal veil, so happy day.
See I really love deaged!Dan because he’s just a grumpy lil guy. But he’s also killed millions. He’s so protective of his loved ones, but held back by blending in and also being Smol that it comes off more bitey kitten than anything else. Dani, of course, is a terror, so she fits right in with the crowd.
And sorry gang, but a bunch of kids on their own in Gotham in a poor side of the city just isn’t going to get any attention: that’s just business as usual really. What first gets attention on Danny is not his ‘condition’ or being mistaken for a meta (which he legally probs has an argument for even without the gene bc like these bitches don’t know how metaism works anyway so) or alien (I’m 90% sure he’d be covered by the alien protection act by virtue of being half ‘not from earth’), but because Danny despite best efforts is a Weird Guy.
He grew up in what could only be described as a low level villain level and spent most of high school dealing with smack downs and spiritual invasion. He’s never really processed that any of that is not in fact Normal. Also, he’s capable of making Anything if given the insides of a toaster, blender and alarm clock, and could probably rewrite the circuits of the apartment blindfolded and improve them 1000% even if it ABSOLUTELY would not be up to code.
And sure, things slip every once in a while, bits of spectral ice here, small floating incident there, but everyone just Minds Their Buisness ya know? You really gunna mess with the guy that personally ensured that when your car got flattened by a fight with Killer Croc, you were still able to get in to work the next day by some wizardry? Really?
But Gotham is a city so cursed it’s probably in the exponents countwise, so of course there is a) a flourishing community of magic users and assorted supernatural weirdos and b) a whole lot of shit for Mega Overpowered Ghost King Danny to idly pick at day to day in order to help with his protecting other Obsession. Gotham has plenty of heroes, but by god do they need the spiritual equivilant of an electrician/priest.
Still, Danny, as a baby ancient under a facet of Kronos and KING OF THE DEAD is like, way, way out of their scope to be able to grok, so it mostly just comes off as you know, a family of banshees or something. When asked, Danny very haltingly says he was briefly dead but then revived, which neatly explains his Weird Ass aura and makes it SPECTACULARLY AWKWARD to ask further about. So everyone nods politely, and goes back to their lives after double checking no nefarious bullshit was being pulled.
Then, of course, Vlad finally tracks them down. The whole neighborhood is altered in short order because he doesn’t bother trying to hide being a Rich Bitch or how he’s sneering down his nose at people on the sidewalk. Every connects the dots when Danny paniks. Dani and Dan’s daycare are staffed with some extra, very buff set of hands within the hour. Jerry, Hood’s third in command, personally shows up to the garage Danny is working at to talk things out with him bc he knows he does t like the deal with this stuff due to past unspecified circumstances but well, they guys had already started fucking with him, you see. Stole his tires, spray painted the windows, pickpocketed him blind, and when he retreated tipped off the police to the drugs they’d planted in the glove box.
Danny might not have been born in Gotham, but he was one of them. And the Alley takes care of it own.
#basically I want a fic where it’s not the Batfam but Gotham itself latching onto Danny#also more angy lil baby man Dan in big puffy coats being protective#dp x dc#dc x dp#gotham
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