#i love my identity labels

[brightlotusmoon]

A decade ago I used to have arguments with other advocates over that phrase "labels are for soup cans" because they were dismissing the very real power of individual, personal labels that we chose, rather than being given labels, which was such a huge thing we used to insist "autism is not hot sauce" because of the arbitrary mild and severe labels.

Now, we can choose to be our own flavors of hot sauce.

Not straight, not cis, not allo people, I'm curious:

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

[sundry-whovengerslocked]

Doctor Who "Rogue" memes

I've made memes. enjoy.

(contains slight spoilers)

firstly, ones that are more encompassing:

regarding the episode itself:

and finally, Captain Jack Harkness stages of grief:

[struck-by-the-rain]

they r literally perfectly colour coordinated with the flag this is bringing me such joy

[ppenguinpperson]

this is canon iirc so im not sure it counts but demi (both -romantic and -sexual i think. aroace spec swag) nomi is something that can be so personal actually. im done spamming ur askbox now i promise

nomis such a love letter to the iwatex fandom... like, theyre the 'weird kid' that so many other stories would have made fun of, but not iwatex!!! in iwatex theyre the coolest character ever bc of those same qualities!!! theyre soo everything to me

[lavenderprose]

If I had a nickel for every time a guy asked me out in college AFTER finding out that I was a lesbian and had to be gently turned down only to turn around years later and come out as a trans lesbian...I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice.

[theflannelwizard]

IN THIS HOUSE WE STAND FOR THE FLAG!! 🇺🇸🏳️‍⚧️

[reiashiftsrealities]

i watched I Saw The TV Glow and now i’m debating my gender very terribly hard rn

[throughpatchesofviolet]

I've been doing a lot of thinking, lately, and I ended up reflecting on my identity a bit, yesterday--mainly through Sherry, since she's my conduit for self exploration and reflection, but specifically in a situation where she's trying to explain herself to Heathcliff.

Specifically, I was thinking about how I experience romantic attraction, and how Sherry--even just based on her source material--is very much some flavor of aromantic and asexual. I don't really use any labels, and neither does she, but that's because I have had negative experiences with them.

Anyway, something about Sherry trying to explain to Heathcliff that she doesn't really feel romantic love is very cathartic to me. I project onto her a lot, so she's maybe had an inkling of romantic attraction once or thrice (one of her little crushes was Hubert, to keep it in line with my canon lore), but it's never gone anywhere, and usually fades pretty quickly.

I feel Heathcliff wouldn't really understand what she means--he'd have a hard time wrapping his head around someone not feeling (romantic) love, especially since he's known that feeling pretty much all his life--but he'd also be the first to defend her from anyone who thinks her lack of interest in romance is "weird." Even if he doesn't completely understand her feelings, he cares about Sherry, and he knows how it feels to be treated differently because of who he is, so why wouldn't he stick up for her?

Like I said above, Sherry doesn't use labels--she simply knows romance isn't something she needs to be satisfied with herself. Yes, she may eventually find someone she feels genuine, long-lasting romantic attraction towards (Heathcliff--much, much later on), but she's come to terms with the fact that, if she doesn't, she'll be okay on her own.

[nintendont2502]

contradicting identites are cool as shit actually everyone who uses them are so cool and hot

[daz4i]

ik it's not good to latch onto a mental illness as your defining trait but also. babe i don't have much else going on or any other sense of identity beyond it

[eeuwigestilte]

how much fear and slander of the label lesbian can one take of a dear friend who is questioning

[tigerplushh]

Today . I am thinking about how many times I have reduced my identity to labels that are easier for cishet people to comprehend that don’t really describe who I am because I don’t expect them to empathise or try to understand my experiences as a genderqueer/trans person and and and AND AND AND

[blissfali]

It's pretty wild to see, of all people who could try to gatekeep a word, a self described nonbinary person is trying to say who can be a lesbian. Dude people exclude YOU!! Why are you valid and they aren't???

RIGHTTT Like aimsey is very transmasc leaning so to turn around and say that someone elses definition of lesbianism isnt valid is crazy to me. Bisexual people can be lesbians. straight men can be lesbians. straight women can be lesbians. We can all be lesbian if you believe hard enough and thats the beauty of it!!!! there is no right or wrong way!!!

[fictive-culture]

Queer fictive culture is getting mad when people get your canon sexuality wrong + treat you like you are your canon sexuality 😭

Like . . I am NOT aroace. I'm just asexual in source, and I am not ace in sys. for God's sake, people.

.

[potatopossums]

if I can write love poems about a lovely sapphic dear, and still be aro — i think some things have gone right for me.

i don't feel romanced. i feel entranced. i feel bewitched, I feel amused. i feel beloved. i feel seen and heard. i feel artistic and creative.

i love *me.*

my time, brain, and body are enriched by her voice, her mind, her manners. i could wait for the annoyance to set in, but what's the point of watching that horizon? she glows with beauty and radiance and joy and stim, and such a person's presence at all is tonic for my soul. the thought of her existence at all, thinking of who she is and wondering what her life feels like, those questions taunt me and beg for my eyes, envelop my imagination, and beat my heart.

i am putting my body through wonderful things by being around her. has a person ever shined so brightly that you had to follow suit and observe? not just love, not just romance, not just sapphic, queer or trans. our tangled up fingers and minds are so radiant, wouldn't I know this love from somewhere? none other than my own mother would surprise me with the thought of being cherished so much, so it's safe to say this woman earns my fullest trust.

she shot into my life like blaze, fiery excitement in hazel green eyes shapes with cutting black. who you are enchants my curiosity. you'd have me awake under stars watching you be among them, cuddled all together as if we had always done so, as our ancestors dance in our blood, in our minds — the stars that they saw, did they feel our same reverence, did they embrace under the night? your loves are like mine, I remember, long lost wonder triggered deeply, inside my littlest mind. the forest is safe, your forest calls, the forest is safe, you say. the forest is safe, say the clouds in my sky, the forest is safe, says my mind.