#himself that. i think that for a long time he struggled with what to label himself so he just kinda ignored it and shoved it aside
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so i saw this tweet and
I know what you are..
#IT'S LITERALLY HIM...#ash rambles 💚#mask off 🎭#i woke up to some pretty awful sexuality discourse about another y.akuza character i ship with so the topic is on my mind#i hc pretty much all of my f/os as some flavor of queer and a good chunk of them are unlabeled also because i love the comfort of knowing#that not only are they Just Like Me but that they understand me because my refusal to label my queer identity is such a fundamental part#of my being myself and who i consider 'Ash' to be#but enough bitching about myself. unlabeled s.ugiura is so real 👍🏽 he's a lot like me in which he's bi in practice but doesnt like calling#himself that. i think that for a long time he struggled with what to label himself so he just kinda ignored it and shoved it aside#it's when he's talking to ash one night about it and here's how she talks about herself that he goes#'HEY WAIT A MINUTE- i dont have to choose?? this feels good!'#also#i#come on#look at him#the whole cast of j.udgment even#NONE of them are straight#also i don't think s.ugiura is cis either but that's a chat for another day#this tweet just made me giggle though because that is. exactly his fit#I'm a big rainjacket over hoodie kinda gal myself#but I'm also from the pnw and that's what everyone around here wears lmao
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Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley being ready to go on his knees for his favorite nurse… but he has no idea how to show it.
Then he sees you at the pub.
It settled inside of him as a feeling of uselessness because he’s so used to knowing what to do. He takes action. He fixes things. And now he gets all flustered when you tend to his wounds, absentmindedly stroking his thigh and talking to him so so sweetly. Calling him a good boy when you finish the stitches, biting your lip as you focused on making them as neat as you could for him. He would stare at you the whole time, his cheeks heating because no one ever showed him this much care and you didn’t even seem to struggle with it- it was all natural.
You had labelled him ‘favorite patient’ in your phone but he didn’t know that. He figured you behaved like that with all the soldiers who came in- the reason you were such a good nurse.
After a well succeeded mission, the task force and the bases Staff all crowd down to the nearest pub. It was an excuse for you to finally be out of your work attire, adorning a black lacy top that made you feel sexy along with your glossy lips. He was already there, leaned back in a booth with Soap and Price as you walk in, looking around nervously.
He has to grit his teeth as he sees you. Fuck fuck fuck. This was gonna be a long night. He fisted his hands beneath the table.
This feeling of hopelessness, of not knowing what to do was so foreign that it bubbled into anger. Price frowned, noticing the rigid way his Lieutenant suddenly sat. Soap was too busy telling some story to notice anything, slamming down a hand, the beers rattling. Your colleagues crowded you into a booth that so conveniently faced him.
Why did he look at you like that? He was positively fuming, glowering, brows lowered and face set. You cowered under his gaze, eyes flickering away nervously.
His lips parted in soft surprise. Why did you look so nervous? Had he done something?
Because of course he was no clue how damn intimidating his so called love stare stare is. He follows you as you walk to the bar, leaning over, your skirt riding up. He has to blink up at the ceiling because it felt simultaneously like a gift from above, being allowed to see you like this, and like a curse from hell.
“Oh he’s down bad for her ain’t he, that fucker?” Soap exclaims, finally catching on as he lets out a hearty laugh. Simon glares.
“I think LT needs another pint” Price muses. Soap, ever the sergent he is, groans and gets up, patting Simon heavily on the shoulder before walking up to the bar next to you.
“You got him weak in the knees, Bunny” Soap grins casually, ordering the pints. It takes you a few seconds to comprehend before you lean backwards slightly, catching Simon’s gaze. This time he averts his eyes immediately. He was fucking fuming inside, not knowing how to get these feelings to go away. The only solutions he could think of were violence or sex. And violence he’s had enough of- and he’s sure the training dummies had too. Every damn night these past days he’s been punching his knuckles bloody, hoping it would satiate his restlessness. It didn’t.
And as for sex… he didn’t- well he didn’t not want that but that’s not where he wanted to start. He always threw himself into hookups or fiery flings that burned out too quickly, leaving embers he didn’t care for. He didn’t want that with you. He wanted to be genuine, slow, proper. And he had no idea how. He didn’t like not being good at things.
Your eyes stay on him, forcing his head to turn back to you. Your expression is unreadable, his fingers curling beneath the table before he rapidly stands up. You almost jolt at the action, the floor creaking from his weight as he stalks over to you and Soap, grumbling something.
Soap leaves, Simon trying to casually lean his elbows on the bar. “Just gonna wait for the pints” he tells you, then his jaw ticks because why did he say that? You probably don’t give a fuck what he’s doing there.
You smile softly, intrigued. “How’s your shoulder?”
It startled him, his head whipping to yours like you said something totally out of sorts. His shoulder? Right— It takes him way too long to answer.
“Fine. You did a good job. As always,” he said gruffly, looking down at the chipped wood of the bar, drumming his fingers impatiently.
“You look good.” The words slip past his lips, eyes quickly giving you a once over.
“I know.” He looks at you, sees a small glint in your eyes and the smile you smother. He wants to groan out loud at the sight.
A dry, almost laugh escapes him, shaking his head softly. “F’course you do.”
There’s a long, awkward silence where you both look anywhere but at each other, spines straightening, then slumping, then you both look at the bartender to keep busy.
He places your drink in front of you, three pints clattering in front of Simon. Neither of you move to take them.
“So I’m gonna go” Simon rumbles and turns, the pints clutched in his hands. He was overheating, fumbling in ever possible way he could and he couldn’t take it. You opened your mouth but he was already halfway across the room.
The pints rattle as he sits down. “So?” Soap asks as he leans forward. Simon grumbled that this isn fucking high school. But it’s not Soap he’s mad at. It’s himself. He had you right there.
You can’t focus the rest of the evening, laughing hollowly and sipping your drink with disinterest. Did he not find you interesting? It was so hard to read him that you started to doubt if he was playing with you. Maybe this was just the way he… was.
You hadn’t noticed everyone going out for a smoke. You hadn’t noticed the way he looked at you through the window like some kind of fucking stalker, only the glow from his cigarette giving colour to his shadow.
You down the rest of your drink, pulling your coat around you. The night is crispy, air poking your cheeks like needles.
“Are you ever going to ask me out? Because if not then I’d like to know- I don’t really know if you don’t like me or if I scare you or if there’s something entirely different at play but you cannot just stare at me and expe-“ a cold, chapped pair of lips silence you. They’re gone as quickly as they came you Simon’s eyes are wide, dropping his cigarette to the ground.
“I’m sorry- do you wanna- can I ask you out? I didn’t mean to do that but you talk a lot” he said bluntly, stuttering his way through his own mortifying actions.
He kissed you. To shut up your mindless yapping he… you shake your head in disbelief.
“You are unbelievable” you say, but there’s absolutely no malice in your tone- only wonder.
“Is that a yes?” He asks, his throat feeling tight.
“Yes. It’s a good technique you have there- do you do that on everyone? Kiss them when they talk too much? I can just imagine how Soap would rea-“
He did it again, eyes closing and inhaling sharply as he covered your cold cheeks with his hands. Christ you were a talker but he didn’t mind so much, if he was allowed to quiet you like this from now on.
#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley smut#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley fic#simon riley fanfiction#simon riley imagine#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon Riley fluff#simon ghost Riley Drabble#ghost x you#ghost smut#ghost angst#ghost x reader#ghost cod#ghost#cod#tf 141#task force 141#task force x reader#tf 141 x reader#simon riley drabble#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley angst
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In His Arms
A/N: Just a little aftercare fluff with our favorite cowboy. Not much of a plot and this is kind of more of a drabble than a one-shot. But I was struggling to write anything else so this is what my brain wanted to think about tonight
WARNINGS: Implied smut, maybe cockwarming? (not sure if that's the right label for what happens here.)
WORD COUNT: 1,116
TAG LIST: IN COMMENTS
If you would like to be added to any of my Tag Lists please feel free to comment, send an ask, or send a DM and I'll be happy to get you added! Below are the fandoms I currently write for.
Glen Powell: Himself (RPF), Characters He's Played
Twisters: Tyler Owens, Boone, Scott, Javi
Top Gun: Maverick: Rooster, Hangman, Bob
Marvel/MCU: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers
WWE/Wrestling: Cody Rhodes, Corey Graves, Damian Priest, Drew McIntyre, Finn Balor, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Kevin Owens, L.A. Knight, Pat McAfee, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins (if there is someone you're thinking of from WWE and they aren't on the list feel free to ask! There are so many guys on the roster that these were the ones that came to mind.)
The room was steeped in warmth, the kind that only came from the perfect combination of love and passion. The soft hum of the ceiling fan mixed with the distant sound of crickets outside the window, creating a soothing backdrop to the slow return of your breaths. Tyler was beneath you, his broad chest rising and falling steadily as your own heartbeat began to settle. He’d only been home an hour, but already, it felt like the days apart had been nothing more than a distant memory.
You lay sprawled over him, your body molded to his like it belonged there—because it did. His arm rested lazily above his head, his fingers occasionally flexing against the pillow. The other was anything but idle, his roughened palm drawing a lazy path up and down your spine. His touch was featherlight yet deliberate, the tips of his fingers brushing over every curve, every dip of your body like he was memorizing you all over again.
Neither of you spoke at first. Words weren’t necessary—not yet. The moment was too raw, too precious to break with conversation. He was still buried deep inside you, his body unwilling to part from yours. You felt his heartbeat against yours, steady and sure, as if tethering you to him.
"You okay, darlin’?" His voice was soft and gravelly, thick with exhaustion and satisfaction.
You nodded against him, your cheek resting against the firm plane of his chest. "More than okay," you murmured, your words muffled but still clear enough to make him chuckle.
"Good." His hand slid into your hair, fingertips massaging gently at your scalp. "I missed you so much. Felt like I was out there forever this time."
It wasn’t the first time he’d been gone chasing storms, but this week had felt especially long. His absence left an ache in your chest, one you hadn’t realized had grown so deep until he was back and holding you like this.
"Me too," you admitted softly, your lips brushing against his skin. You felt the way his body shifted beneath you, his arm tightening around your waist like he couldn’t bear the thought of letting go.
“You have no idea how much I missed this,” he finally murmured, his deep voice a low rasp that sent a ripple of heat through you. His words came with a soft kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a moment longer than necessary.
You nuzzled into the curve of his neck, your lips brushing against his pulse. He tipped your head back slightly, just enough so his gaze could find yours in the dim light of the room. His green eyes, flecked with golden warmth, held a look so tender, it nearly stole the breath you’d just regained.
"I thought about you every night," he murmured, his lips brushing against your hair. "Every damn minute. You don’t even know what you do to me."
His free hand began its slow path down your back again, fingertips trailing over the curve of your spine. When he reached the small of your back, he paused, pressing his palm flat against your skin and holding you there.
"This," he said softly, "this right here is what I needed."
A flush rose to your cheeks, and Tyler’s lips curled into a soft smile as he felt the heat of it against his neck.
“There it is,” he teased, his voice dipping into that gravelly tone that always made your heart stutter. "That blush I love so much."
He shifted slightly beneath you, his arm tightening around your waist as he pressed you impossibly closer. You could feel every inch of him, the heat of his body wrapping around you like a blanket. He didn’t stop touching you, his hand tracing slow, deliberate paths that left trails of goosebumps in their wake.
“You feel so damn good,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your temple, then down to the corner of your mouth. “I swear, nothing else compares. Nothing else even comes close to having you like this.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but he beat you to it, his lips capturing yours in a slow, searing kiss that left no room for doubt about how deeply he meant every word. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath mingling with your own.
“Stay with me like this a little longer,” he said softly, his hand coming back up to cradle the nape of your neck. “I’m not ready to let you go yet.”
His fingers trailed down your spine again, his touch firmer this time, as if grounding you both in the moment. His lips found the shell of your ear, his breath hot against your skin as he continued in a hushed voice that sent shivers racing through you.
“I missed you so much,” he said, his tone rougher now, edged with the kind of desire only he could make feel like a promise. “And I’m not done with you. Not even close. I want you again, sweetheart. Over and over.”
His words made heat bloom low in your belly, and you couldn’t stop the way your body shifted against his. Tyler’s hand on your waist tightened, holding you still as his eyes darkened.
"Easy, sweetheart," he murmured, his voice low and teasing. "We’ve got all night. No need to rush."
He let his hand drift lower, tracing the curve of your hip before sliding back up to the small of your back.
"I’m gonna show you just how much I missed you," he whispered, his lips grazing your jawline. "Gonna make sure you feel it—every inch of it."
You shivered as his words washed over you, his breath warm against your skin. He shifted beneath you, his body a comforting weight as he pulled you impossibly closer.
"I love you," he said softly, the words catching you off guard even though you’d heard them before. There was something different in the way he said it now, like it wasn’t just an expression but a vow.
Your heart swelled, and you leaned up just enough to kiss him again, pouring every unspoken feeling into the connection. He responded in kind, his hands roaming your body like he couldn’t get enough, like he was memorizing every curve and dip.
The world outside didn’t matter—not the storms he chased, not the time apart, not anything but the two of you in this moment. In his arms, you felt it all: desired, cherished, and deeply, irrevocably loved.
And as the night stretched on, Tyler made good on his promise, showing you again and again just how much you meant to him.
#Tyler Owens#Tyler Owens x reader#Tyler Owens x you#Tyler Owens Fic#Tyler Owens Fanfic#Tyler Owens Fanfiction
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Country singer Steve Harrington, who has always leaned more into the pop country side of things (think Wanted by Hunter Hayes), but wants his third album to be more true to old school country roots.
His label agrees but only if he works with Eddie Munson, a rock star who had to leave the spotlight when he got kicked out of his band for, well, rockstar behavior gone too far.
Steve isn't amused, especially because he doesn't care for metal music or rock star shenanigans. He was "raised better" and doesn't think Eddie could sit down and write songs with actual emotion and feeling.
Cue long songwriting sessions where Eddie is trying his hardest to be on his best behavior because he knows this is his last shot at being taken seriously, and Steve being surprised every time Eddie proves that he's talented as a songwriter and musician, well outside the scope of just metal and rock.
They write a song that they're both so proud of, Steve asks if he'll record it with him just for fun. The released version would just be Steve.
Eddie agrees.
It's an incredible duet, something country music has needed forever, but Eddie doesn't want that version out there.
The label genuinely accidentally releases their version instead of the Steve only version. As soon as they realize, they remove it from official places, but it's too late.
Fans have already heard it and have gone crazy over it, begging them to let the radio play this version, begging for this version to be available for streaming. The Steve version is great, but it doesn't have the emotion that's laced in the tone of them singing together.
Eddie finally gives in when he sees how happy Steve is about the reaction to it.
But the label decides they want them to tour together, have Eddie work as his opening act, perform his acoustic songs that haven't been officially released anywhere. Eddie can't do it.
He can't go back into that lifestyle. He couldn't do it to his band, who made him promise that he'd come back to them when he got his shit straight. He can't do it to his fans, who stuck by him through some rough shit, but probably wouldn't support a fucking country music career. He definitely can't do it to Steve, who deserves to have someone with him who can be trusted not to go off the deep end.
So he runs. He hides. His uncle welcomes him home, congratulates him on finally embracing his country roots.
It doesn't take long for Steve to find him.
Because he'd been more honest with Steve than he'd ever been with anyone. He told him about his childhood, his Uncle Wayne, his struggle to make it. He told him about his worse struggle when he did make it, how he got in with the wrong people, the wrong things. Prioritized the lifestyle more than his own life.
Of course Steve knew where he'd run to.
Of course Steve came to remind him what his life could be if he allowed himself to find new priorities.
Steve's lips were pretty persuasive, but not nearly as persuasive as his promises to remind him what he could have if he kept his life his priority.
"But what if I let you down?"
"You won't."
"But-"
"No. You won't. You're gonna do amazing things for yourself. And I'm gonna be there to see it happen. That's all."
And he was.
They co-wrote Steve's entire album while Eddie worked on recording his own original songs. He liked that it was an old school rock and roll feel, some blues, some country, some hints of metal sneaking in on a couple songs.
He called his band to come help him with a song, hesitant to even ask, but they came. Of course they came.
He called his Uncle Wayne to play banjo on a song, worried that he wouldn't like the heavier electric guitar notes over it. Of course he loved being involved.
When their tour started, he let himself actually feel nervous.
But instead of running, he looked at the man who supported him through it, even when his own career was on the line.
Of course Steve was there.
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#headcanon#drabble#rock star eddie munson#country singer steve harrington#what a wild tag that is to type#if yall were in my brain you'd be begging to get the hell out of it#i swear to god#i had this idea forever ago and was like YES YEARNING PINING ENEMIES TO LOVERS#and then just got bogged down so here#someone else do that
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Mike Wheeler: S4 Outfits & Identity Crisis Analysis
One of aspects of s4 I find the most interesting is Mike's costuming. We see him in 4 distinct outfits in this season (not counting the white t-shirt look since it's not a separate outfit), and they are all interesting in their own right. But ultimately, they all contrast each other and represent different aspects of Mike's internal conflict and identity crisis.
s4 is the season where Mike's internal conflict is externalized via his costume design. He’s trying to figure out who he is and – like for so many queer teens – it starts with his hair and his clothes.
Shout-out to @glisten-inthedark because it was during a fantastic discussion that I drafted out a much shorter, much rougher version of this analysis!
*Disclaimer: While a lot of my analysis is formatted as statements – more out of habit from years of writing academic essays than anything – much of this is still speculation and subjective opinion. If you have a different perspective or disagree with my analysis, that's perfectly fine! This is just my interpretation.
1.
First up, my second favorite outfit: The Hellfire outfit.
If you put this Mike beside any of his s3 outfits, the difference is incredibly stark. s3 Mike has bright colors, neons spread throughout the palette, nearly all of them collared shirts. Yet the first outfit we see Mike wear in s3 is edgier: nearly all-black, featuring the word HELLFIRE loud and proud, the face of a tiefling or daemon, and weapons. This is also the first time we've seen Mike wear a graphic tee, which is more up Dustin's alley.
Not only this, but his hair is long enough to brush his shoulders, the longest we've ever seen it. Finn Wolfhard calls it "kind of the most metal Mike's hair has ever been."
So why is this so important? Let's talk about modeling for a second.
Dustin models himself after Steve in parts of s2. He listens to Steve's romantic advice and styles his hair like Steve's for the Snow Ball. For Dustin, Steve represents the masculine, heternormative ideal: the kind of guy who girls want to date, a "ladies man." When Dustin does find a girlfriend who loves him for him, he stops modeling after Steve in terms of outward appearance and returns to his own personal sense of style in s3. In fact, it's Dustin who ends up giving Steve romantic advice in s3, because their roles have flipped: Dustin is comfortable in who he is and his romantic prospects, whereas Steve is struggling. ("Instead of dating somebody because you think it's gonna make you cooler, why not date somebody you actually enjoy being around?"
Lucas wears a Karate Kid shirt in s3 bc Max thinks Ralph Macchio is attractive, so he wears clothes that reference him to appeal to her, his girlfriend, but he mixes it with his classic camo bandana because Lucas has a very strong sense of self that was only rocked in s4, when he tries to model after the basketball team, who are also representative of (1980's) socially acceptable masculinity and heteronormativity, for popularity's sake. But he ends up rejecting their blind conformity and regains his sense of self by the middle of the season.
And Mike…..models after Eddie. Eddie “forced conformity is what’s killin’ the kids” Munson. Not just in clothes, but in his more "metal" hairstyle. Eddie even makes a note about Mike’s wardrobe change during the cafeteria scene, saying he’s no longer wearing whatever his mom buys him at the GAP, which highlight this change for the audience.
This is significant because even though Dustin and Lucas are his fellow nerds, even though both Dustin and Lucas end up being chased down by Jason & Friends for their status as members of the Hellfire Club, even though they're labeled as outcasts and reject conformity in their own way –
– they still model themselves after classic heteronormative and socially acceptable representations of masculinity, while Mike is the only one who actively models himself after the school “freak" and vocal non-conformist.
Sure, Dustin wears the Hellfire shirt too, but Dustin is the graphic tee king of the show and he still wears an iconic baseball cap and overlays his graphic tee with a fun and funky button-up in s4. How he dresses in s4 is wholly consistent with his identity throughout the rest of the show. Whereas Mike's first outfit of the show contrasts heavily with all of his outfits from the previous seasons particularly s3.
And this is intentional. This is what Amy Parris, costume designer for Stranger Things says in this GQ interview about it:
Mike's Hellfire Outfit represents his growing internal resistance to and rejection of conformity and societal expectation.
2.
....which is exactly why the airport outfit gives the viewer such insane whiplash.
It is bright, gaudy, dorky, cartoonish and a completely different person than we were just shown. It's no version of Mike we've ever seen. Sure, we've seen him in shorts, and that surfer shirt is technically a button-up, but that hat? Those glasses? Flip-flops? It's so clearly an act that it's laughable.
Amy Parris, in the same GQ interview as before, goes as far to say, "We knew we'd wanted something that felt like an outfit maybe he would've bought at the airport before he got there."
This isn't Mike. This is Mike's attempt at conformity, post-meeting and modeling after Eddie. This is Mike feeling like who he is in Hawkins – the edgier Mike who models after the school "freak" – isn't the "right" version of himself to immediately present to El after months and months apart. Almost like he feels the need to wear something more similar to what he wore in s3, the shorts and the bright colors, to "ease into" the rest of his wardrobe, because when he's with El, he strives to present as "normal."
Finn Wolfhard says this about Mike in s4: "I think Mike's just trying to be as normal as possible and trying to keep on a normal path." Yet Mike says this in s4: "Have you ever considered that we don't want to be popular?"
If Mike isn't trying to be "normal" in Hawkins and is sitting at lunch with the school "freak," then in what ways he is trying to be "normal"? It's when he's with El in California, particularly their first day before everything goes to hell. Yet we see that "normal" = not himself.
Amy Parris notes in the GQ interview that they picked an orange (a rather yellow orange) button-up because it's the opposite of what Mike normally wears (blue tones).
The purple shirt is also an attempt for him to appeal toward El because purple, according to Mike, is one of her favorite colors. He is trying to appeal to El's taste/likes while wearing the literal opposite of what he normally does.
Mike's Airport Outfit represents his attempts to conform to heteronormativity and society's expectation of what a "good straight boyfriend" does, is, and looks like – and how unnatural and unlike himself this attempt is.
3.
This plaid look is my personal favorite Mike look in s5. This is one of the very few times we see Mike with an untucked shirt – possibly the first time we see him wearing a button-up/collared shirt and it's not tucked in. Untucked makes him look less preppy, taller, and more mature. It's a very flattering look and especially refreshing after the airport look.
But, I also have a lot to say about this symbolism of this particular outfit.
The rich blue is a standard Mike color, so it's the first outfit he wears in s4 that feels familiar to us. Additionally, the hint of yellow is commonly speckled throughout Mike's wardrobe. However, look at the pattern. It's plaid.
We all know by now that Mike is the king of stripes. Stripes and the color blue are the most consistent aspect of his wardrobe other than his calculator watch. But plaid?
There are only two instances in the entire show where Mike wears plaid. (I've triple-checked this, but if I still somehow overlooked anything, please let me know!) Here, in s4, and in his final scene in s1:
(top row is unedited, bottom row is brightened – no I couldn't get a flattering screenshot of the second image lol)
A blue plaid with (faint) yellow accents. Hm. How intriguingly familiar!
In s1, we see Mike experiencing conflicting emotions in his final scene. He is very happy that Will is back and that Will is having fun with his DND game. But he is also sad that Eleven is gone and experiencing survivor's guilt. His emotions are split between Will and El. This emotional turmoil is illustrated with the use of much busier pattern than Mike normally wears, but because that pattern is plaid, a pattern Will often wears, it aligns him with Will.
Why does plaid connect Mike to Will yet not El, even though El has worn plaid before? Because El has only worn plaid because of her circumstances, not her own personal style.
El first wears plaid when Hopper gives her his flannel in s1. This continues into s2 when she begins living with him. She's receiving either hand-me-downs from him or boy's clothes because he's having to hide the fact that he's sheltering a girl wanted by the government. If Hop were to start buying girl's clothing/more feminine clothing, that would be suspicious. When El goes on her shopping spree with Max in s3, after Max tells her to focus on what feels like her – "not Hopper, not Mike, you" – she picks bold, bright colors and abstract patterns, completely avoiding plaid. Then, in s4, El is living with the Byers and receiving their hand-me-downs and borrowing from their closets.
Amy Parris confirms this in the GQ interview, that what El wears in s2 is meant to feel mismatched, borrowed, and hand-me-down because she is trying to figure out who she is in Lenora.
She also says this:
It was intentional that when El wore plaid in s4, it was meant to remind the audience of Will and look as though she was wearing his clothes.
Which means Plaid = Will, not El.
So let's put this all together: Mike has worn plaid once before, when he was experiencing conflicting emotions torn between Will and El. Plaid is Will's pattern, not El's. Blue is Mike's color, and it's commonly known that yellow is Will's, which means that not only is Mike wearing Will's pattern, he's wearing a hint of Will's color. On a more minor note, the return of the black jeans and converse from his Hawkins/Hellfire outfit means that the facade had dropped and he's slipping back into what he's more comfortable in.
It's also notable that Mike wears a blue plaid shirt the very next day after Will wears a blue plaid shirt. (Also, Will's blue plaid shirt has more white, which suits his wardrobe more than black, whereas Mike's blue plaid shirt has more black, which suits Mike's.)
And this is the shirt Mike wears during his fight with Eleven, where she calls him out on never saying, "I love you," accuses him of thinking she's a monster, and he calls her ridiculous and tries to place the burden of their relationship issues on other people ("You can't let those mouthbreathers ruin you! Ruin us!")
Visually, the plaid tells us what's going on in Mike's head and heart.
Mike's Plaid Outfit represents his internal conflict between Will and El while simultaneously betraying where his true feelings lie: with Will.
4.
Last outfit! The outfit he spends nearly a full week wearing, the teal outfit.
Right off the bat, this color is one we've seen him wearing before in s3. However, as @hawkinsschoolcounselor points out in this brilliant post, the teal polo he wears in s3 looks nearly identical to one his father wears in the same season.
This has a few nuanced implications.
Firstly, in s3, it carries the visual implication that s3 Mike is currently on a path that could cause him to turn out like Ted. What does s3 Mike do? He neglects his friendships to spend time making out with his girlfriend, tries to reject his childhood hobbies and passions as childish (Ted disdainfully calls toys "hunks of plastic," in s2) and something he needs to grow out of, and, like Ted, makes a comment that could be interpreted as a homophobic slight – ("It's not my fault you don't like girls!" – a comment that I believe is a moment of projection for Mike due to internalized homophobia, not legitimate homophobia toward Will. In s3, Mike is trying to be "normal," "grown-up," socially acceptable and heteronormative.
Remember how I talked about modeling earlier? Yeah, s3 Mike models after Ted in mild aspects.
Yet the very next season, it's revealed that his rejection of his hobbies, passions, and games like DND was a complete farce. He returns to wholly embracing DND and, other than this teal color, stops dressing like Ted. He stops modeling after his father, much to Ted's disappointment: "Might as well call [Hellfire] the high school dropout club."
Secondly, because this teal color ties Mike to Ted, it's notable that this is the color that Mike wears when he tells Eleven he loves her.
(Now if you've read this far, my guess is you're a Byler fan and you've read 50 million analyses of the I love you speech, but if you haven't, the gist of the conclusion of those analyses is this: Mike felt pressured to say he loved El in order to save her and because he believed she commissioned the painting, but he tells provable lies during it that will be dismantled in s5.)
If teal is a color Mike wore during a season where he's modeling after Ted, a husband who the show makes very clear is lacking in passion to the point of his wife feeling unsatsified, a father emotionally distant from his two eldest children, and a man who is the epitome of heteronormativity and the typical mundane nuclear family man – this does not bode well for the success of Mike's romantic relationship with El, nor does it frame his romantic relationship with El in a healthy light.
Thirdly, there are several key differences between s4's teal shirt and s3's teal shirt.
Mike's s3 teal shirt is buttoned-up to the top button (in most of his scenes wearing this shirt) and is tucked into higher-waisted black shorts. It's solid-colored, neat, and preppy, and gives two hilariously contrasting impressions: the outfit of a little boy, and the outfit of a tween trying to dress like an adult.
In s4, however, Mike's outfit is partially unbuttoned, revealing a white tshirt beneath, with gives it a more sporty or even outdoorsy vibe. It's also not a solid color and has angular grey accents – particularly, triangular and diamond shaped accents.
This is what Amy Parris has to say about those grey accents, + what she says about how they purposefully added triangles to Robin's outfit as LGBTQ+ symbolism:
Because of this, it is not a stretch to speculate that the angular accents and, in particular, triangle design on Mike's breast pocket is a nod to his queercoding.
It's no coincidence that this is the shirt Mike wears during his bedroom talks with Will, the van scene with Will, his interrupted pizza parlor talk with El (that reads more like an impending apology and amicable breakup, not a confession – just mute the music look at his face during that scene, and El's), and his speech to El.
Most notably, it's the shirt he's wearing during this moment:
Look at Mike's face. Look at how conflicted he is. How guilty. This is the first time since Mike put on this teal shirt, the first time since he had his two separate bedroom talks with Will, the first time since "as a team," and "best friends," and the van scene & painting, that Mike has to deal with Will and Eleven at the same time.
Mike's Teal Outfit represents the tug-of-war between two contrasting concepts: his internal struggle with practicing comphet and heteronormativity (pursuing a romantic relationship with El and pretending to be straight), and his growing internal resistance to comphet/hetnorm and desire to embrace a truer, more alternative/noncomforming identity (his true romantic feelings for Will and accepting his queer identity).
Conclusion
I could honestly continue this post with analysis of the s5 outfits we've seen from Mike and what that means for his characterization/arc in the final season, but this post is long enough already. Perhaps when we get more content/trailers for s5, I might put out a speculative post in anticipation for it.
If you have a different perspective and want to share it, feel absolutely free! I'd love to hear other people's thoughts.
#byler analysis#byler#mike wheeler#mike wheeler analysis#stranger things#stranger things analysis#please let this show up in the tags i swear if it doesn't!!!#long post#i should figure out how many words this is
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rosé | f. odair
(final part of red wine)
part one, part two
summary: in the final part of the red wine series, secrets are revealed, and miscommunication threatens to tear you and finnick apart.
pairing: finnick odair x reader
warnings: angst, fluff, blood, minor injury, mentions of forced prostitution, swearing,
notes: i’m sorry this took so long to come out y’all. thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed this mini fic <3
word count: 4.1k
Finnick believed he had made a lot of smart decisions in his life—like rigging a net made out of vines to ensnare tributes in the arena, accepting secrets as a form of payment from his patrons rather than material goods, and mastering the art of seduction to manipulate his way out of various difficult situations. However, shutting you out was not one of them.
Half an hour had passed since the incident on the staircase landing. He lingered within the mansion’s extravagant walls, where other guests mingled and dined on a range of bizarre delicacies. He couldn’t eat a thing. His stomach churned at the image of your hopeless expression as he walked off. The expression he caused.
It had to be done. That is what he had been telling himself. It had to be done, otherwise, everyone in the Capitol would learn of his feelings for you. Snow would find out and most likely punish you for interfering with the arrangement he had—the sale of his body. And Finnick was very aware of what happened to people who disrupted the president’s plans.
Partygoers would have already begun to spread rumours of the scene in the courtyard. Hopefully, it would just be chalked up to a simple argument between friends. Friends. The label borderline disgusted him. You don’t fall asleep to the thought of someone and think of them the moment you wake up if you’re just friends. Nor do you look for them in every room you walk into.
Even now, Finnick was scanning the lavishly decorated banquet hall for a glimpse of your pure white gown, despite being the one who walked away. It was an instinct at this point. But there was no one in the room wearing white but him; his matching half was still outside, blending in with the winter snow. Or maybe gone home.
One colour did catch his eye though. A vibrant, almost tacky red, worn by a woman who was strutting towards him, her chin held high with pride. Finnick noticed the material of her floor-length gown. Silk. She was wearing your old dress, only the colour was incredibly off, and each hem was lined with red fur, conforming with her implanted whiskers. That was when he realised who the woman was.
Her ensemble was entirely made out of fur that clung to her body, complementing the whiskers that were embedded in her face which made her look feline.
“Where’s your dancing partner tonight?” she asked, her voice low and seductive.
The bright saturation of her dress was almost blinding as she stopped in front of him. He held back a grimace and plastered on a smile even faker than her voice. “She wasn’t up for it this time,” he lied.
“Well, everyone knows she’s out of touch with our way of life,” she said. Finnick ground his jaw, struggling to maintain his façade. Words could not explain how condescending these people were. “This dress is an adaptation of one she wore quite a while ago. Such a plain thing. I only liked the colour and bodice. The only way I could wear it in public was if I spruced it up.”
He thought back to the dress you had worn. Nobody had even come close to how phenomenal you looked. Where others needed extravagance and flounce to stand out, you only needed a simple red dress. Yet here this woman was, thinking she had the audacity to call you plain.
“I noticed. It’s very… striking.”
“Thank you, darling,” she purred. There was a predatory gleam in her eyes, like that of a wild cat about to pounce and devour its meal. “I was waiting for the perfect occasion to wear it.”
His forced smile twitched. “You’re certainly turning heads.”
“Did I turn yours?” she asked, batting her eyelashes.
Truth be told, Finnick hadn’t even remembered her existence until she walked right up to him. Obviously, he couldn’t tell her that, so he told her that she did. For a long period of time, they bounced back and forth, complimenting and flirting with each other, never dipping below the surface into a real conversation. Not that he wanted to anyway. Not with her. The only person he longed to conversate with was now out of reach.
The woman started talking about colourless topics such as the latest fashion trends in the Capitol and her opinions on the victor of the 72nd Hunger Games, all of which made Finnick wish she would just gouge his eyes out with her sharp claw-like fingernails. He couldn’t do anything but stand, smile, and agree. Doing anything else would result in Snow staying true to his very detailed threats
As the conversation continued, his attention began to drift. He surveyed the outfits of everyone in the room, amusing himself by deciding whether or not each person was making a fashion statement or tragedy. Only one person claimed the former title—the one in white.
Finnick watched as you entered the room. The giant golden chandelier cast down a bright light which caused your skin to glow with radiance; its glare enhanced the brilliance of your white dress. This brief moment ignited a fear in him that you had died in his absence because there was no way a mere human being could look so angelic.
“Finnick?” the feline asked, but her voice barely registered in his brain.
Captivated. He was utterly and completely captivated. One after the other, sudden realisations conjured in his mind. The first—there wasn’t a life worth living ahead of him if you weren’t by his side the whole way, and not as a friend or a fellow victor, but as his partner. His lover. The second—he would never let any harm come to you. He would keep you safe from Snow’s clutches, from the Capitol, from anyone who would put you in danger, even if it meant the two of you had to disappear into the vast forests of Panem.
And lastly, he was now absolutely certain that the woman in front of him could never compare to you, nor could anyone else in the ever-expanding universe. You were a basic human necessity to him. Without you, his heart might as well stop beating. Your laugh, your smile, your kindness, your unwavering support—every part of you kept him alive.
“Finnick?” the voice that went disregarded hissed again.
With a half-empty wine glass in hand, your anxious eyes searched the room. Finnick wanted nothing more than to sprint over, pull you into his arms, and cast away every trouble plaguing your mind. He couldn’t. Almost all eyes were on you, yet you hadn’t even seemed to notice. Only one person finally seemed to gain your attention, and that was Finnick, standing in the middle of the room, his eyes locked on yours.
The neurons firing in his brain signalled him to move and he did. But just as his legs started to walk, a forceful hand jerked his face to the side and a pair of harsh lips were crushed to his. Glass shattered on the marble flooring. Momentarily paralysed from shock, Finnick stumbled backwards, briefly catching the twisted triumphant smirk on the woman’s face before whirling around.
Your face was frozen with devastation; his heart dropped. Splatters of red wine had stained your gown, pooling in a crimson puddle of glass shards by your feet. Quiet mocking chuckles and whispers echoed around the room. Oh, if only he had his trident; they wouldn’t be laughing then.
An Avox rushed forward, attempting to clean up the mess, but you had crouched down with them.
“No, please,” Finnick heard you say to the Avox as he strode toward you. “Please don’t. I can do it.”
But delicate hands and glass shards never mix well. You gasped in pain. A jagged fragment you collected had sliced into your palm, creating another crimson pool in your hand.
Finnick’s strides quickened, eventually leading him to stop and kneel beside you. He wordlessly took your hand in his, cradling it as he inspected the damage. Blood coated his fingers, but he didn’t care. He might as well have cut your hand himself. None of this would have happened if it weren’t for him.
Pink blush overtook your face. For once, it wasn’t because he made you flustered or bashful, but because you were humiliated. He knew how much you disliked attention; now you were at the centre of it. Beside you was the Avox, tending to the mess of broken glass.
“Could you bring me a first-aid kit, please?” he asked with a polite smile.
They nodded and silently left. Finnick returned his attention to you, applying pressure to your wound. Your gaze was lowered, unwilling to meet his own. There was more to your demeanour than just embarrassment. There was sadness. Disheartenment. Neither of which were present when you walked in, only appearing after the feline woman had kissed him.
His brows furrowed in confusion. “Y/N—”
“Don’t,” you whispered, eyes unmoving.
The Avox returned holding a medical kit; Finnick thanked them, taking the box into his hands. He climbed to his feet, hesitating before offering you a hand up. Much to his relief, you accepted his assistance. And then, without a word, you began walking towards the nearest exit with apparent indifference to the engrossed eyes following you.
Finnick didn’t bother to conceal his icy glare toward the crowd as he trailed behind you and exited the room.
*******
Pain of a thousand unrelenting bees stung the broken flesh of your palm. Even the slightest movement of your fingers sent waves of throbbing agony up your arm. But it was nothing compared to the brutal ache of your heart.
You had entered the mansion in search of Finnick, determined to mend the crack in your friendship before it crumbled completely. What you got instead was humiliation and heartbreak. What you saw was another woman kissing the man you loved, whilst wearing a horrible adaptation of your red gown no less.
The air had been sucked from your lungs. Believing he would kiss you on the dance floor in the courtyard was nothing more than a fantasy, a dream, a pathetic fool’s wish—every term under the sun that defined something not real. At least now you understood why he was acting so differently. Because he had found someone else and that someone wasn’t you.
A lump formed in your throat and you knew tears were approaching. As if your night couldn’t get any more embarrassing.
Your feet carried you down a long corridor, far enough away from the banquet hall that listening ears and prying eyes were unable to reach. Finnick still followed behind you, though you weren’t sure why he bothered. How could he explain what you saw with your own eyes? Plus, the last thing you wanted was for his new romance to think something was going on between you and him. Only in your dreams.
Unsure of your destination, you decided to enter the first room you came across. It turned out to be a lavishly decorated library, walled with large wooden bookshelves which were filled endlessly with novels and historic paraphernalia. Sitting within the bookshelves was a stone fireplace.
The door closed as Finnick entered behind you, the silence so loud that the crackles from the fireplace reverberated through the room. Your hand still throbbed something awful so you looked down, taking in the gruesome sight of your dress. A stranger might have thought you had just murdered someone. If it were televised, it would have been deemed acceptable.
You sniffled, wearing a small bitter smile. “I ruined Snow’s pretty white dress.”
A few moments passed before Finnick replied. “Red always was more your colour,” he said, his tone anything but playful.
Ahead of you was a great wall of windows; in the reflection, you saw him staring back at you with an unfamiliar expression. His brows were pinched upwards, pronouncing the lines in his forehead, and the corners of his mouth drooped in a slight pensive frown. He didn’t look like the Finnick you knew. This Finnick looked pained. Anguished.
You dropped his intense gaze and ambled across the room. By the lit fireplace was a cushioned stool which you sat down on, eyes staring into the flickering flames. If you were lucky, maybe your dress would catch alight and whisk you away from your troubled life. Okay, perhaps the thought was a little morbid, but so was a broken heart. Of all people, why did you have to fall in love with Finnick Odair?
Cautious footsteps followed behind you, coming to a stop beside your feet. Without your acknowledgement, Finnick crouched down, eyeing the bloody mess of your hands with concern. His gaze lifted to yours, which was still on the fire, and he sighed.
“Let me take care of your hand,” he murmured.
Before you could refuse, you realised contracting an infection was worse than giving in to your stubbornness. So, you nodded.
Finnick opened the first-aid kit and began tending to your wound; his touch was so gentle it was like he was piecing together a broken china cup. Using an antiseptic gauze, he attempted to clean the damaged skin, whispering apologies whenever you winced in pain. After carefully applying a dressing, he began wrapping a bandage around your hand.
You stared into the orange flames, wondering how he would explain to that woman why he left her behind. You wondered when their relationship started and why Finnick continued to shamelessly flirt with you in her absence. You wondered if their relationship would be the end of your friendship.
“Are you in love?” you quietly asked.
His hands stilled at your sudden words, then he continued wrapping the bandage. “Not with her.”
He secured the binding with medical tape and climbed to his feet, placing the supplies back into the kit on a small side table.
Brows drawn together in confusion, you turned to look up at him. “But I thought—"
“Things are much more complicated than they seem,” he interrupted. There was a clear vase of white roses on the table. Finnick toyed with the petals, caressing them between his gentle fingertips. “No one understands me better than you do, and there is no one in this world I trust more. But… there are still things I’ve been keeping from you.”
The troubled expression on his face melted into one of vulnerability. This was a new appearance for him. Finnick was known nationwide for his radiant confidence and charm; he never let his guard down. You have had difficult conversations before, such as discussing each other’s hardships and innermost secrets, but none of them seemed to affect him like this.
“Everyone knows about my visits to the Capitol,” he continued. “How I spend nights with different people every time as if it’s all a game for my pleasure. But it’s not true. It’s not my game I’m playing.” He began walking over to the wall of windows, overlooking Snow’s gardens. “There’s a part of it that no one knows about.”
You rose from the stool, beginning to take slow steps towards him. “Which is?”
The fire flickering behind you deepened Finnick’s features. It intensified the shiny bronze of his hair and enhanced the defined contours of his face, making it easy to see the muscles in his jaw clench with apprehension. He stared out the window so intensely that you were sure his usual green eyes were blazing with their own inferno.
Even full of angst, he was painstakingly beautiful.
His chest inflated with a deep breath. “President Snow… sells me to the Capitol.”
Horror washed over you in monstrous waves. Sells? Only one explanation appeared in your head as to what he meant. You remained silent, praying he would prove your assumption wrong.
“After I won my Games, he saw my success as an opportunity to please his citizens. He began offering me to potential buyers—'admirers’ is what he called them—who soon became my regular customers. They would use me however they liked. Some would pounce on me the second I stepped through the door. Others were relatively tamer. Kinder. They would have me take them on dates or watch a movie with them, but one way or another, it all ended the same way at the end of the night.” He sucked in a sharp uneasy breath before continuing. “Then there were the rare few—the ones who treated me like I was nothing more than a ragdoll for their amusement. They did things that were… unspeakable.”
Nausea churned in your stomach as your mind conjured sickening images. It couldn’t be true. You refused to believe that human beings could stoop to such levels of atrocity to make one person endure so much cruelty. Then again, you lived in a world where children were sent into an arena to fight to the death on live television.
Finnick looked like he was holding himself together by a thread. Every word he confessed shattered your heart into a million pieces. How could this have happened to him?
“I’ve tried to refuse but Snow threatened to harm the people I care about—my family, my friends. After I met you, I knew you were added to that list.” He finally turned around to face you, his eyes filled with such anguish, it shook you to your core. “The Capitol owns me, Y/N. Body and soul.”
Despair riddled your entire body. As you stared at him, the image of a teenager appeared in your mind—eyes sea green and hair a fiery bronze. He was just a boy when it started. A child.
“I’m—I’m so sorry,” you managed to whisper. “I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t want you to know.” His eyes dropped to the floor. “I didn’t want you to think less of me.”
“Less of you? Finnick,” you said softly, stopping in front of him. Your eyes beckoned for his; you needed him to look at you, to really take in your next words. “There isn’t a single person alive I think more highly of than you. No one even comes close. Can’t you see? Just having you in my presence makes me feel whole. You make me whole.”
Tears glistened in his eyes as they flickered between your own, absorbing every reassuring word you said into his mind, his bones, his entire being.
“You have brought so much into my life,” you continued. “So much good. And I would never have made it to where I am now without you. So please, don’t ever distance yourself from me because you think I will judge you. I won’t and I never will.”
As the room stilled with silence, a lone tear rolled down Finnick’s cheek. His Adam’s apple bobbed, revealing the sob he was keeping restrained within his throat. And then a smile started to grow on his face, small at first, but then it stretched wider and wider, deepening those dimples that you adored so much.
You knew that your words had touched the deepest parts of him. That you had managed to convince him ‘less’ could never be a word used to describe him. He was more. More kind, more genuine, more caring than almost all of Panem.
“You’re incredible,” he whispered in awe, looking at you as if he were witnessing the birth of the universe. “Sweetheart, you’re incredible. Do have any idea how rare that is for a person to be? I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve someone like you in my life, but I swear I’ll do whatever I can to keep you. And if—” His gaze drifted, seemingly wrestling with a decision in his mind— “if that means I have to share all my secrets with you, then I will.”
“Have you got any more secrets, Finnick?”
He returned his attention back to your face. The indecision from moments ago had disappeared and was replaced with certainty, which was underscored by a sort of tenderness that settled in his features.
“Just one,” he murmured. He paused, observing the universe before him and wondering how on earth he got so lucky to have the privilege of having it staring right back at him. “I’m in love with you.”
Electricity shocked your heart like someone had placed a defibrillator over your chest and hit charge. Love? You? He was?
“What?” you asked, dumbfounded.
“I should’ve told you sooner,” he said, shaking his head. “I should have told you everything. Even if saying this means I’m risking everything between us, I can’t keep it from you any longer. God, sweetheart, I love you so much it fucking hurts. I always will, even if you never feel the same.”
Somehow in the span of twenty minutes, everything you thought you knew came crashing down. First, your heart was broken by the thought of Finnick kissing another, and then it was healed. And then it broke again as he voiced his arrangement with Snow. It could never fully heal again while Snow was alive, not with what he was forcing upon Finnick.
But Finnick pieced together every piece he possibly could with his confession, one heartfelt word of declaration at a time.
The weight of his confession hung in the air. His eyes held a mixture of anxiety and hope for your response. Time seemed to stretch out as you tried to find your voice. How do you declare your love as powerfully as someone who just bared their soul to you?
An emotional laugh bubbled up your throat, your eyes brimming with tears. “You idiot,” was what you said, the words spoken with utmost adoration. “I’ve loved you this whole time.”
Finnick’s eyes widened in amazement and a brilliant smile broke across his face. Before you had a chance to react, he had moved towards you in one swift step, pulling you into his arms and crushing his lips to yours in a powerful, passionate kiss.
Your hands were quick to cling onto him, desperately terrified that if you let go, he would vanish into thin air. Every ounce of yearning and hidden affection from the past year poured into this one single moment, into the movement of your lips against one another, and the feeling of your hands cradling each other’s bodies.
Emotions were running high. You could taste both your own and Finnick’s tears as they streamed down your faces, salty and palpable with affection. The sheer relief of finally being free to express your love was so unimaginable that you felt like you would be crying with happiness your whole life.
Finnick’s hand cupped the side of your jaw and he lowered his head, deepening the kiss as much as he physically could to make up for all the time he wasted. His lips were soft and adoring, savouring the sweet taste of your lips on his. His other arm tightened around your lower back, pulling you even further against him.
You felt like you were melting into his embrace and happily, you would have. It felt so right, so safe to be held by him. The world outside the library no longer existed; there was only Finnick and you. Your hands settled on either side of his jaw, staining his skin red from your blood-soaked bandage. You knew he wouldn’t care—the blood belonged to you.
And that is how you spent most of the night. In the library, in that one spot by the windows, in each other’s arms. At some point, you ended up sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, both covered in red and feeling blissfully content. Your back was leaning against Finnick’s chest, his arms wrapped around your middle as he occasionally pressed his lips into your hair.
You toyed with the fabric of his sleeves, your head leaning against his collarbone as you watched the flames once more.
“If Snow ever finds out…” you murmured.
“He won’t,” he reassured quietly. “I won’t let him. He’s taken too much from me; he won’t take you too.”
You turned your head to peer up at him, wearing a teasing smile. “Can’t live without me, Odair?”
He grinned, leaning in closer. “Never without you, sweetheart.”
Once again, Finnick’s lips were on yours, conveying every ounce of immense love he felt for you through his kiss. The only time either of you broke apart was to whisper sweet declarations of your devotion and reverence before returning to each other again. This was when you felt most complete.
When you felt whole.
tags: @queenofspades6 @powellssaturn @bellamybellamyblake @heroinhchicblog222
#wife-of-all-dilfs ✍️#finnick odair#finnick odair x reader#finnick odair smut#finnick odair imagine#finnick odair fanfic#finnick odair fluff#sam claflin#the hunger games#catching fire#mockingjay#peeta mellark x reader#peeta mellark#katniss everdeen
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I am bored, so I'm posting my Zosan queer headcannons. Queer beam go 🏳️🌈✨✨
Zoro Gay/Asexual (He/him)
- Zoro likes what Zoro likes. There's never really been a time in his life where he's questioned his sexuality. He knows he likes men, and he knows he values a partner that's strong and capable. It's as simple as that to him.
- When he gets older and people start asking him about these things, does he finally learn there are labels for them. And again, he doesn't see it as any big thing to be worried about. He's focused on his dream, and relationships can come later.
- When he begins to like Sanji, he hesitates to do anything. He sees Sanji swoon over girls and simply makes the assumption that there would be nothing there. So he holds his tongue and moves on. Or at least tries to.
- There are times when he finds another person he likes, such as Luffy or even Ace. Ace leaves before anything could spark, and Luffy is very obviously not interested in anything romantic of the sort.
- He finds common ground with Nami, since she's in a similar boat to him. She will tell him how she misses Vivi and he will tell her about a stubborn cook. He finally finds a person to properly talk about sexuality with, something he didn't even realize was pretty nice to have.
- Eventually he settles on saying that he's gay and asexual. He doesn't exactly care about labels, nor does he know if these are the ones that perfectly fit him, but he decides that's the answer he'll give if someone asks.
- He knows he likes men, and he knows that he's not really interested in sexual activities. Not that he's revolted by them or won't participate in them at all, it's just not something he thinks about.
Sanji Bisexual/Gender Queer (He/She)
- Sanji is a mess of repression and internalized homophobia. He would never be homophobic to other queer people, but himself? There was no way he would ever be queer.
- He swoons for women and dotes on them, pushing any feelings for men so far down that he doesn't even recognize he even has them. When he meets Ace, that quickly changes.
- For the first time in his life, he properly questions his own attraction. He experiments. Only a touch though, because that voice in the back of his head that sounds suspiciously like Judge berates him for it.
- So he continues to hide any of those feelings away for a very long time. It's only when he's sent to the Kamabakka kingdom and meets Ivankov that he can really learn to express himself. It takes a lot of running, fighting, and yelling for him to realize that maybe he likes men and maybe that's okay.
- He leaves Kamabakka with the knowledge that he's bisexual. He learned plenty of things about the different labels and identities and everything under the sun--he's bisexual. Nothing else to it.
- Of course, when he sees that stupid swordsman again, he maybe realizes he's harboring some kind of attraction for the man. Fine, he can be bisexual, but liking Zoro? That boar of a man? Absolutely not.
- But after everything that happened on Whole Cake Island and Wano, he realizes that maybe he doesn't want to hide his feelings anymore. He needs to apologize first, though.
Zosan
- After Wano, Zoro and Sanji finally sit down and talk. It's tense and awkward, because neither really knows what to do when it comes to liking the other.
- Zoro tells Sanji that he was hurt when he left for Whole Cake, not because of any sort of jealousy but because Sanji wouldn't ask for help. He tells him that he admires his strength and stubbornness, and that arguments maybe became something he enjoyed.
- Sanji tells Zoro how much he struggles to believe that he's loved. He explains that he's trying to be better and ask for help, but it's hard. He tells him that he wants to do better and try to let himself be cared for. He also may or may not say he likes the way Zoro's muscles look and how his chest looks very heavy maybe he should hold it--
- They decide to try whatever it is the two of them are. Sanji still swoons for women of course, that's just how he is, but Zoro doesn't mind. He knows at the end of the day Sanji wouldn't actually pursue anyone else. Sanji dotes on Zoro a bit more, always enjoying being able to take care of someone, and who is he to deny the opportunity to wash the swordsman's back after he trains?
- They never really hide their relationship, but it still takes a while for the crew to realize. It takes Ussop stumbling upon them kissing in the galley for the rug to really get pulled. Fanky insists on giving them a proper room, and he cleans up the first mate's quarters just for the two of them (which also gives him the idea to maybe ask Robin about doing something similar with the Captain's quarters, it's not like Luffy used it, after all).
- They were partners, on the battlefield and off. They bickered and they fought, but they also went to each other after a fight to make sure the other was okay. They would do the dishes together and sleep in the same bed. Sanji had a spot in the crows nest just for him: an open window with an ashtray for him to sit and smoke with his recipe book. Zoro had a place in the galley: a corner of the couch with the supplies to clean his swords beside it.
- Over time Sanji was able to talk about his childhood more, and more than once Zoro offered to go and remove a few Vinsmoke heads.
- It takes a long time, well into Zoro and Sanji's middle years, for Sanji to actually accept that maybe his gender isn't as solid as he thought. It takes a while, but again, he manages to accept this part of himself too. Sometimes he likes to wear dresses and feminine things, and that's fine. Sometimes he likes to be called girlfriend or lady or miss, and that's okay too. Zoro loves him no matter what.
- Long after the Once Piece is found, Zoro becomes the world's greatest swordsman, and Sanji finds the All Blue, the two have a wedding. It's a simple affair, and Sanji wouldn't have wanted it any other way. They invite their friends and family; Zeff, the Straw Hats, Mihawk and Perona (though Zoro still grumbles about them not actually being his family), even Law comes--mostly at Luffy's insistence. Reiju stops by for a few moments to congratulate them, but she doesn't stay long. Luffy is the one to actually wed them, this being one of the rare times that he gets serious about something.
- Afterwards there's a feast, one Sanji prepared of course. Zeff and Sanji bicker about recipes, but Zeff has tears in his eyes as he walks his child down the aisle.
- The rings--or rather the earrings--are one of Zoro's golden earrings and a blue pearl from the All Blue. They love each other deeply, and step into the future together.
#black leg sanji#one piece#roronoa zoro#sanji#vinsmoke sanji#zoro#zoro x sanji#zosan#sanzo#trans sanji#headcanon#genderfluid sanji#one piece headcanons#zosan headcanons#rambles
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He Knows (Changbin ver.)
Chan ver. | Lee Know ver. | Hyunjin ver.
MASTERLIST
Synopsis: you already have a baby, but maybe you are ready for baby number two… it might be that your husband is not as ready.
Type: Fluff 🧸, a little bit of angst at the end if you squint ❤️🩹, SFW 👍
Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy
Word Count: 2110
AN: this one is a little more on the angsty side. I hope it is cool with y’all! It seems the word count keeps coming up, so uh, sorry about that. I hope you enjoy!
You knew Changbin was not one to make rash decisions. In fact, it took you almost two years to start dating officially, and it was in part because you warned him either he gave you a label or he could lose your number.
He did not like the idea of losing you for a second. Which is how he learned to pay a little less attention to his rational side and allowed himself to go by feelings when it came to the two of you. He was smart anyway, there was no need to overthink things.
To everyone’s surprise you were the first couple in his group to get engaged, then married and a little under 2 years ago welcomed a baby girl who stole the show anywhere she went. Hajoon, was the name you came to pick together, meaning summer, she was your little ray of sunshine from the moment you first knew of her existence when you were only 6 months into married life. Changbin had gone into a short panic at first but he recovered quite smoothly and in true Seo Changbin fashion he stepped into his role as if he had been doing it all his life. You had been scared all throughout the pregnancy, not having planned for it and finding yourself struggling with morning sickness while he was away in America promoting with the boys. Giving birth made you anxious enough you actually started working out more than your husband, taking all the yoga classes you could handle and signing up for as many pre-natal pilates as possible. One would think you were never going to want to have a baby again.
And one would be wrong.
You were at peace with your small family of three until you started taking Hajoon to daycare. She was a happy little girl, knowing little more than her family and uncles. Following her father around as much as possible, she started dancing almost as quickly as she started walking and her speaking was coming along better than expected according to your in-laws. Most likely thanks to Changbin’s silly rap battles with his baby girl. No one year old could compete with his speed, but Hajoon would be damned if she didn’t try.
“No, no; she has a good rhythm!” Changbin always defended his daughter.
And the fact was, Hajoon loved to play with her daddy, with her uncles… but most of all she loved playing with her daycare buddies. You could see how happy she was in the morning when you went to wake her up, get her dressed and bring her to the kitchen to have breakfast with Changbin. Yes, she was a daddy’s girl through and through (and Changbin was lost in that girl dad daze, wrapped around her miniscule finger from day one). But she would let go of her appa the instant you mentioned daycare. And upon seeing her little friends, she would forget all about how comfortable and warm your embrace was.
Sometimes you stayed long enough to watch her find her friends, a couple of boys around her same age and a girl a little bit older.
You couldn’t help it, in your heart you craved to give her the possibility of a friend to play with at all times. Someone to share all those toys you asked the boys not to get her but somehow still made it into Hajoon’s tiny backpack whenever you would hang out. You wanted her to have what Changbin had with his sister. And your husband’s behavior upon finishing promotions for the last mini album did not do anything other than add fuel to the fire.
Changin was not stupid (no matter what Seungmin’s opinion on the matter could be), he could tell when something was going on around him. He knew you were being “strange”. Quiet.
If he knew one thing about you, it was that you were never quiet. Even when you were thinking things over, you reasoned out loud with yourself. You were never one to stay still for too long either. You were more obvious than you would ever like to admit.
Chanbin was absolutely in love with you before Hajoon, but after she was born it was like the entire world revolved around the two of you, himself included. Which is why he was so aware of every detail in your life. How you still laid your hand in the middle of the bed between the two of you, as if your baby girl was still sleeping there as she had the first few months of her life. He knew you still used those baby oils on your daughter, refusing to move on from the baby scent. Changbin could also see how your eyes lit up at the sight of your daughter pressing her ear to Lee Know’s wife’s growing belly.
Oh, if he could he would give you a baby right there and then. But he was so busy with work these days.
Changbin arrived home under a light rain, his feet causing the water on the ground to fly around in small drops. He looked up under his umbrella to see you through the window, most likely making cookies in the kitchen with Hajoon as your helper. You two loved to play cooks. He loved to play the faithful customer.
A smile spread across his face when he heard the loud giggles erupt from the home, you yelled in surprise while a joyful high pitched voice announced “more choco-ate!”
Changbin knew your little one was a chocolate enthusiast. On that note he decided to come in, leaving his dirty boots on the entryway before calling for his family.
“I’m home!” He put his jacket away.
“Now, don’t run Joonie!” You advised from the kitchen.
The sound of light feet quickly tapping on the floor was a clear indication that your advice was not taken.
“Appaaaaa!”
Changbin knelt to catch the fast approaching girl, her pigtails flying in the air while she ran with her arms open wide. She had no doubt he would catch her so she threw herself at him and got held against her dad’s strong chest, her cheek pressed happily onto his shirt.
“There’s my princess!” He kissed the top of her head repeatedly as she giggled in his arms. “Where’s your mother, huh?”
As if you heard him, you stepped out of the kitchen. He lifted his gaze before picking up his daughter and going up to you, giving your cheek a gentle kiss.
“What are you two up to?” He looked you up and down.
You tilted your head to the side with a small smile on your face, you fixed Hajoon’s shirt that had ridden up her back and let your daughter explain.
“Cookies”, she whispered into his ear.
Changbin didn’t even flinch at the warm air his daughter blew straight into his ear.
You asked him how things had gone at the studio and he sighed in response, not wanting to say too much. He had been working on a few songs with Chan and Han for over a week, some were good and ready to go. Others were still works in progress. It seemed like they would have more than enough material for their next album, but he knew it was all a lot more work to get done. And just before his baby girl’s second birthday.
Although Changbin was keeping it to himself, he was overwhelmed. Still, you could tell.
The sweet smell of the cookies flooded the house even a few hours after you had all eaten dinner. Giving Changbin the chance to unwind, you let him and Hajoon play in the living room while you cleaned up the kitchen. The sound of the tv and some of the girl’s toys resonated through the house along with their loud laughter.
Soon enough you walked into the living room to find Changbin snoozing on the sofa with Hajoon cuddled up to his chest, head nestled in the space between his neck and shoulder. You knew you already had many photos like this, but still pulled your phone out of your pant’s pocket and took the picture.
“I’m not really asleep, you know?” Your husband’s voice startled you.
“Oh,” you jumped to put your phone away. “Do you need help with the little one?”
He shook his head slowly, pointing for you to sit next to him.
You turned the tv down as you went to take a seat next to him, his free arm reached for your hand and intertwined your fingers.
“We need to talk,” he mumbled.
You looked back into his eyes. He was tired from the long day at work, you sighed and wondered what he wanted to talk about so you nodded and watched your daughter’s peaceful face. She was sound asleep, exhausted by the afternoon walk and the subsequent baking session.
“What is it?” You turned in your seat to face him more.
Changbin let out a heavy sigh, he did not like that he needed to bring it up but he could not have you hoping he would catch on to you and go along with it.
“You know I love you,” he wasn’t asking but you nodded at his words, “and I love Joonie, you two mean so much to me…”
He closed his eyes and you tugged on his hand, speaking as well. Encouraging your husband. Maybe the two of you knew where this conversation was going, reading each other in a heartbeat.
“Oh, Binnie, we love you too. What do you need to say?”
Here came the difficult words: “Next year is going to be busy. I won’t be home a lot.” He opened his eyes and searched your face for a reaction.
You opened your mouth to speak a couple of times but weren’t able to say anything. To be honest, you saw this coming. It did not make it any easier to accept what was being said between the lines.
Changbin felt guilty when you looked away, there was a smile on your lips that was unable to reach any other feature on your face.
“It’s only a year,” he tugged at your hand.
You blinked at that and took in a deep breath. “Is there another world tour?”
“Yeah, we’re so excited but… I wouldn’t be able to leave you with this little monkey and another one on the way.”
There it was. Your head snapped in his direction, unable to play fool and tiptoe around the topic any longer.
“I’m not saying I want one right now. You are busy, you’re tired. I just think we should plan it soon. I don’t want Hajoon to have a big age gap with her siblings.”
You leaned back on the sofa and put your head on his shoulder, watching your daughter sleep. Allowing Changbin’s warmth to comfort you from the disappointment of hearing him put your wish to have another baby on the waiting list.
Changbin let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around you. At least you were on the same page. “We can try for next year. With luck I won’t get completely outnumbered by girls.”
You bit back your laughter as you rested your hand on his stomach. “Oh, but you’re such a good girl dad!”
“It’s only easy because Hajoon is a mini-you. And a rockstar really… more than me.”
You giggled.
“She is a mini-you, what are you talking about?” You caressed your little girl’s chubby cheek.
She has the same face shape as her dad, her cheeks round and pink, her lips small and heart shaped.
“Actually, maybe I want an army of mini-you’s…” he let his fingers run along your shoulder.
You rolled your eyes, “I can’t make any promises about gender, but I definitely want to have another one.”
Changbin agreed and kissed your hair, “I’m sorry it’s not what you wanted. I would love to do it right now, but I would feel like crap knocking you up and then leaving the country. I will be here with you when we do it again.” He pressed his cheek to the top of your head. “I promise.”
You tilted your head back and kissed his jaw, then his cheek and when he turned to you, you pressed a short kiss to his lips.
“I’m not mad. You don’t have to explain anything to me, I get it. And you’re right, this is the best way to do it. Together.”
“Since you like the idea, you could kiss me again, you know?” He proposed, bringing up the mood again.
————
Likes, Reblogs and Comments are welcome! Thank you for reading!
#stray kids fanfic#stray kids imagine#stray kids blurbs#changbin fluff#stray kids changbin x reader#changbin x you#changbin x reader#changbin x y/n#changbin x female reader#female reader#hyunjinsjeans writing#he knows blurb collection#skz x y/n#skz x you#skz x reader#skz x female reader
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🔖 、FAREWELL TO MEMORIES
ᘛ 𓏧 ࣪ 𖠵 성훈 ☓ gn!reader. ꔪ ﹏ ᘒ angst implied exes warning nostalgia lots of angst mentions of kissing & 1.3k+ words
The apartment was a picture of chaos with half-packed boxes and disheveled belongings strewn all over the place.
The undeniably strong whiff of change lingered in the atmosphere, dense and overwhelming, and Sunghoon struggled to breathe in it. He stood amidst the scene of chaos, with a defeated expression etched upon his usually composed countenance. The bedroom was nearly empty except for the entirely packed cardboard boxes, ready to be lifted and sent away.
If Sunghoon were to lean in any closer to the labelings on the box, he would find himself staring back at the day it was introduced into his life. He could still hear the chatter from downstairs, could hear Jake’s laughter and Jungwon’s grumbling on yet another unknown topic. One that Sunghoon was not too keen to work out. Especially not today. Jake and Jungwon insisted on being there to help Sunghoon with the boxes but from the noises, that was the last thing they were currently doing.
Just over 20 minutes ago, Sunghoon had to intervene to separate the two of them because Jungwon proclaimed to have had ‘accidentally’ taped Jake’s hair while attempting to tape one of the boxes. In response, Jake had again, totally by ‘accident’ stepped on Jungwon’s toes.
He let his gaze linger longer onto the bedroom and sighed heavily. Sunghoon wasn’t nearly sure what to think of the sight that beheld in front of his eyes. His eyes raked upon one particular box for what seemed like hours yesterday. See, Sunghoon would usually like to call himself calm and collected, someone who is in good control of his own emotions. But he had no control over them the moment his eyes peeped into what the box held.
His fingers traced the white canvas that he took out from the box more gently than he expected. His shaky hands travelled over to the two handprints overlapping in the centre and just like a button, his eyes blurred out of focus as a memory hit him.
It was supposed to be yet another lazy Saturday afternoon, the kind where all you wanted to do was just be on your phone and procrastinate. But you seemed to have different ideas when you walked into the living room with a cheeky smile plastered on your face as you shoved a blank canvas into Sunghoon’s chest followed by two paint colours.
You’d insisted firmly until Sunghoon had no other choice but to give in to your demands. The following minutes passed by a blur when Sunghoon felt the wet semi-liquid swipe across his cheek followed by the sound of a giggle. And so, the paint war began leaving the two of you covered in sticky paint. At least the canvas was not messy.
And then he was met with an aching realisation that no matter how many more canvases he painted, none of them would hold the same beauty, the same meaning and the same art of longing as this one did. All because there wasn’t you right by his side anymore.
A sad smile tugged at the corner of Sunghoon’s lips as he carefully placed the canvas back into the box after wrapping it with a piece of plastic. His hands dug further into that box, despite the drop in his chest after looking at the canvas for mere minutes.
He then reached for a black journal with the title,“But I love you so much more than just to the moon & back”, a choked sound left his throat, something between a sob and chuckle as if he could almost imagine you saying the cheesiest stuff to him on a daily basis.
You had given him the journal after around a year into your relationship, your fingers intertwined with his as the two of you would lay in bed hours long and just flip through each page as if trying to relive another memory. As if that journal could restore the lost time. But of course, it didn’t.
Sunghoon used to see videos of people gifting journals of every single thing to their loved ones and he used to find them a waste of time. That is until you surprised him with one. He didn’t know what to expect when he first looked into the journal, but the last thing he expected was to cry while hugging you. The journal was the most beautiful thing he ever laid his eyes upon.
Each page was titled differently, from your first kiss to your first-ever make up after the argument. The in-between pages were filled with polaroids of the two of you. He didn’t know how to thank you then because words wouldn’t suffice of the gifts you’ve given him so all he did was love you, maybe a little too much that it hurt even more to let go of that very love.
He also remembered his first kiss with you— very well. He couldn’t ever forget the day. During the kiss, he swore that he could taste the stars in the heavens, and the Earth beneath their feet shivered with the sheet power of pouring out feelings.
That was what it felt like to kiss you. To be able to be called yours.
He remembered when you once said to him, “No matter what happens, we’ll aways stick by each other’s side. Promise?” And he did. He did promise— pinky promise, with a silly smile on his face because he had that much confidence in him to know that the two of you would always be together.
Sunghoon from now would have scolded Sunghoon from then so much for taking every little promise so less of value. But lessons were learnt, tears were shed, sweet whispers turned into yells and hearts were broken too, more than one.
Letting out a deep breath, Sunghoon carefully placed the journal back into the box and wiped his beginning-to-form-tears.
Before he could proceed to dig his hands for anything else, he heard the footsteps stomp their way into the bedroom and stop right beside him.
“It’s time to go come on,” Sunghoon raised his head curiously at the softness of Jake’s tone. Jake stood in front of the bedroom but not quitting entering it. One of his hands was busy with the phone while the other just held a small carry bag.
“Yeah, give me one minute,” Sunghoon mumbled back, quickly moving to gather his own stuff and throwing his backpack over his shoulder. He followed Jake out of the house and watched as a taxi pulled up.
The memories flood back as the car inches forward down the driveway, taking the three of them further and further away from the home he grew up in. Sunghoon looked around at the familiar neighbourhood for what seemed like the last time and he could feel a pang in his chest.
As they pull out of the driveway, Sunghoon can't help but be overcome by nostalgia. He takes one last look at the house, feeling like part of it is being ripped away from him. The memories come flooding back, vivid and real, leaving him feeling disconnected from reality for a moment. He closes his eyes, trying to hold on to the feeling, but it slips away, leaving him with only the comfort of the memories.
“I can’t believe I would ever see the daylight and Sunghoon crying together!” Jungwon exclaimed as he looked at Sunghoon from the passenger seat. The said guy lets out a surprised laugh at that and shakes his head in denial, “I’m not crying.”
“Of course you aren’t,” Jake joins in on the Sunghoon teasing club making him huff.
“But hey, you’ll at least have us, yeah?” Jake reassures with a smile as he pats Sunghoon on the shoulder.
Right, that’s true. He’ll always have them to fill in the holes in his heart.
#ॱଳ͘#kflixnet#k-labels#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x gender neutral reader#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen sunghoon#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon angst#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon drabbles
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Omega retreat : chapter 5
Pairing: Alpha Bucky × Omega Reader
Warnings: R18, Smut, Not what it seems, ABO dynamics, knotting, biting, bruising, sexual themes, adult themes
Word count: 2029
Bucky Masterlist
Summary: As an unmarked and lonely omega you find a flyer for a service called The Omega Retreat.
You are paired with a compatible alpha to spend your heat or just a week at a luxurious cabin at a forest resort. Amenities and Utilities included. Enjoy the beautiful scenery, fresh air, as well as the company of an alpha of your choosing. What could possibly go wrong?
He circled his fingers around the necks of the bottles, letting his nails cut through the wet labels as he pulled the beers from the cooler. The ice crunched together as it filled in the gap left behind before Bucky shut the lid and walked away.
His associates sat outside, and as he offered one of the beers as he approached one of the other men.
The third gentleman sat, unmoved, in a luxurious deck chair. His legs were spread, creasing his white trousers as his ankle sat on top of his other knee. He scratched at the chin of his dark goatee, looking back at his colleague through tinted glasses.
“I take it that the shop talk is over.”
Bucky sat back on his chair, rubbing his temple as Tony spoke.
“Not that it isn’t interesting.” Steve laughed back as he smoothed down a stray tuft of his sandy blonde before reaching back down to twist the top off his beer. A bit of foam followed after to dribble out over his thick fingers, and he switched the bottle to his other hand as he tried to shake the mess from his skin.
"Geez, Buck. Did'ya shake it?”
Bucky shrugged, laughing a little as he popped the cap off his own bottle and sat back before Steve shot back with another joke.
“Is this your way of getting back at me?”
Bucky shot back with equal sarcasm. “Yeah, I shook your beer because you were prowling through my Omega’s profile.”
“Can’t blame me for being a little jealous.”
“Oh? Back on the dating game, boys?" Tony gave them both a smirk as he asked.
“I think it really came through this time.” Bucky said before taking a sip of his beer.
“She has you smitten this soon?” Steve smiled back.
“She’s something else; I could tell right away.”
“I feel like I’ve heard this song before.” Tony teased, turning his eyes away from the other men.
“I know that this time is different. It’s that itch in my belly that had never been there before. She just really brings my Alpha out just when I hear her voice.” Bucky brought the spout back to his lips and knocked back another swig of beer before continuing to speak.
“I think that website finally came through for me.”
“You lucky bastard, but I can’t say they don’t owe you one at this point.” Steve shined back as he sipped up the last of his beer.
“I hope they know better than to let this end like any of the last ones.” Tony shot back, still trying to crack the sugar coating on this story to find a more realistic center. “I still say it’s no better than burning your money, especially after how long you’d had the subscription.”
“Says a man who’s already married.” Steve tried to grin away a small sneer.
Tony was a Beta—a married Beta with a baby on the way. He would never know the struggle of finding one’s perfect match when there were so few to look through.
“Besides, the girls get it for free, so somebody has to pay.” Steve didn’t even look up from his empty bottle when he said it more to himself than the other men. The website didn’t advertise as such to the desirable Omega’s, but the Alpha’s were given a much more formal subscription through a sister site. The Alphas were always willing to pay, of course.
“I just think that at this point, it would have to feel like a scam after all you’ve been through.” Tony spoke back.
"Well, there will be hell to pay if it is.” Bucky didn’t look back up as he answered, choosing instead to watch the swirl of his beer as he tipped the bottle back and forth.
Tony finally cleared his throat, annoyed that his pushback didn’t yield any results. “You know, I’ve heard some stuff about that place.”
Bucky hesitated before giving a stern “So have I.”
Tony took a deep breath, not wanting to insult his long-time friend any further. “I’m not saying you're that kind of person. You’re a good man, Buck. I just wish you didn’t associate with something that didn’t match your character.”
“I appreciate your concern, but I don’t do those kinds of things. I want to do right by any girl of mine.”
Bucky never led any of his friends to believe he was anything less than an upstanding man, so Tony believed him as he spoke.
Steve cleared his throat, trying to disperse the cloud of awkward tension in the air. Especially what had circled his own head.
“Love at first sight then; I hope she lives up to this hype.”
“I’d say so.”
“Caught the fish I couldn’t.” Steve smirked back before leaning forward to tap his empty bottle against the one still in Bucky’s hands.
Bucky closed the gap with a little ‘clink’ to finish the small toast to his success.
“And don’t think you can try and steal her.”
Fed up with the sparks of jealousy, Tony hit his knees with the palms of his hand before pushing up from his seat.
“Well, I think it’s my turn to get a drink.”
With his colleague’s departure, Bucky felt the subtle buzz in his pocket before he could pull Steve into another conversation.
Bucky lifted his finger to excuse himself before walking back, passing Tony and his now-full glass of scotch.
He flipped his phone open, finding a picture on the small screen. He has to bring the phone closer to his face before yours becomes recognizable in the image of a changing room.
It was from an angle to show a flowy floral dress that ended along your upper thigh. It dipped along your bustline and tightened around the hourglass dip at your waist.
He smiled, leaning on the wall as another notification lit across the top of the little screen to signal you’d sent another photo.
You had gone through with your little shopping excursion, lifting your once dampened spirits. It was actually nice to like how you look in new clothes, and you made sure you weren’t the only one.
There was no doubt that you were perfectly Omega. From your overall shy demeanor to the soft shape of your gorgeous body as it lights up across the screen.
Bucky had had his fill of pushy women. He wasn’t asking for a servant, just an equal partner, but their demanding nature too easily turned him off.
He looked back at the glass door that stood between him and his friends out on the deck. It was just a small gesture to secure his privacy as he clicked a few buttons to bring himself to the new picture.
It was a romper, a low v-cut sitting over your breasts as the ends of the shorts rose high along your thighs.
He lingered on each dip and curve for as long as it would take to paint the picture to his memory before thumbing back with, ‘Doing some shopping, doll?’
He didn’t have the luxury of watching your response load with the dance of bouncing dots, but was almost immediately met with, “Yeah, I didn’t have vacation-friendly clothes. Whatcha think?’
‘The second one is a bit risqué, isn’t it?’
You flinched at the last message, and you hoped that it didn’t mean you offended him.
‘Oh geez. It is a bit, but I already bought it.’
‘I never said you didn’t look good; it’s certainly more than I’ve gotten to see so far ;)'
You laugh a little, feeling bashful upon seeing the little winking face as you hold your phone close. You wanted to type back, but his messages popped up before you could.
‘Are there any more pictures I can look forward to?’
‘I sent a few; you should have gotten them by now.’ You answered back just as quickly.
His simple flip phone wasn’t that great at receiving pictures, but just in time, two more made it through.
It’s you in a long, flowy dress of blue, showing less skin besides a leg peeking out from a slit at the side. It was cute; it looked form-fitting and soft.
The other was a simple plaid button-up top and a pair of denim shorts. You had your body turned to show the curve of your ass as a little peeked out the bottom of the denim. It made him glad that he’d be having you all to himself over that weekend.
His tongue spread over his lips as he pictured the thin strip of denim that would be covering your hidden pink center and how the seams would pop as he tried to pull it out of his way to find it.
‘Please tell me you bought that last one.’
‘Just the shorts, the shirt seemed like it would be too hot.’ You tapped away with a reddening smile before lifting your gaze back up to the other stores ahead. A familiar cursive name lit up in pink crossed your vision before you stepped towards it.
He must have been lost in thought as he studied the last few outfits, giving you time to let your own wander around the rest of the shops.
It had been a long time since you had this much fun, and even as you crossed through the threshold of the store and looked around at its overpriced goods, you wanted nothing more than to treat yourself like the beautiful omega he seemed to see.
There were some stringy pieces in the back, all lace and a little fabric. Not quite your style, so you kept browsing. There were a few baby doll dresses, some with fluff, and one that was nearly see-through. You eyed the black mesh bashfully, only now feeling just a bit in over your head.
You pinched the fabric, a little surprised at how silky the mesh was between your fingers.
You pulled it off the rack, sizing it up against your body, before shifting your eyes towards the changing room and thinking about what a good picture this beauty would make.
By the time your clothes were off and the dress was on, you knew it would be an immediate purchase before you even snapped the photo. You almost wanted it to be a surprise, but you craved this new kind of attention. To push past the edge of flattery into something deeper, maybe even darker.
Bucky stared at the small screen as he tried to navigate to any new photos, only to have it buzz between his fingers. It was you in a thin black nightie, showing him just a glimpse of everything he’d been pining to see. The subtle dips of your body and bare skin, the apex of your smooth thighs still hidden under the black hem, and the dark circles of your soft nipples nearly totally visible through the sheer fabric over your breasts.
He felt the air being punched out of his lungs like a blow to his stomach. It was one of the few times he would curse himself for not having a more modern phone because he couldn’t zoom in further.
‘Do you have any idea what you're doing to me right now?’
You replied with a cheeky ‘just a little’ before another photo flooded over his dinosaur of a phone.
This time you were facing away from the mirror, showing the contours of the back of your body that were now visible. You’d tried to bend your leg so it popped your bottom out in a desirable pose. It did just as you’d wanted, giving him a view of the cleft of your round ass as if the negligee were melting away to finally reveal your bare body.
He had to close the phone just to better calm himself so his building erection could leave as quickly as you’d given it to him. He’d never hear the end of it if he walked out, as it began to strain against his jeans.
There was no question now, even before his last message came through. You would absolutely be buying this one.
Chapter 6
Tags : @bethyruth @scott-loki-barnes @wintrsoldrluvr @buckysdoll85 @lendeluxe @meowmeowyoongles @heletsmelovehim @mcira @buckysbaby-doll @serendipitouslife90 @unicornicopia1 @animegirlgeeky @matchat3a @darkdemeter @onyxwolf @thebuckybarnesvault @nicestgirlonline @jbuckybarnesfan @val-writesstuff @birdenthusiastez @ozwriterchick
#fanfiction#fanfic#bucky barnes#smut#bucky x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky x you#bucky smut#bucky fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x reader#james bucky barnes#bucky#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x female reader#alpha bucky x omega reader#alpha bucky x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barns x reader#buckybarnes#bucky x y/n#dark bucky barnes#dark bucky smut#dark bucky x reader#dark bucky x you#bucky fanfic#bucky x female reader#abo dynamics
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Sebastian's Love for Ciel ❤️🔥🥀🩸
For Sebastian, a demon like him the concept of 'love' is something is very new...something he doesn't understand yet .... the realization he is facing from his day to day life, being with Ciel ...is slowly starting to change him.
The contract he had with his prey...at first he thought it was a quick meal for him. However, Ciel does makes his task harder...a lot harder. Sebastian soon learned and discovered many new things being with Ciel.
It is not just for the sake of the simple contract .... Sebastian clearly has lot more feelings for Ciel than he himself realizes ....he doesn't let Ciel show that, sometimes Sebastian is also hurt while protecting him ...however, his 1st priority is always Ciel , therefore Sebastian is happy as long as Ciel is satisfied.
Ciel made him 'think a lot like a Human'.....Ciel made him understand what does it feels like being human...experiencing all the emotions...from the highest highs to the lowest lows....Sebastian was with Ciel through his every thick and thin moments...
Ciel made Sebastian into a better version of himself .... he is not just limited into his butler role .... for the sake of the circumstances he had to take certain extreme measures...even outright defying Ciel's order sometimes....even going beyond lengths for protecting Ciel and his reputation.
Sebastian is seen even going beyond his strength to protect ciel ..risking his own life in this process .... no matter what
Sebastian can't really label his feelings towards Ciel however he started to notice his own obession and posessiveness towards ciel
Its the day to day small gestures and kindness towards Ciel makes Sebastian so special...thinking of every needs of Ciel and how he will react ...Keeping in mind of Ciel's every likes and dislikes....Sebastian takes his pride in making Ciel satisfied at all cost
Sebastian can't the take risk of loosing Ciel...even if it means to defying Ciel's orders
In Green Witch Arc, Sebastian gets humbled again through many unpredictable circumstances....for the 1st time ever Sebastian truly felt helpless...helpless in being able to save Ciel's life from danger...he even started to question if he truly feels human emotions or not
Seeing Ciel in this horrible state like this....Sebastian truly felt what it is like to loosing a loved one
Without any thinking Sebastian jumped into the tub with Ciel for his emotional support ....protecting him at all cost ...for the 1st time ever Sebastian knew what 'fear' is ....thus, revealing his vengeful side as he kills all the german scientists..
In the Blue Cult arc Sebastian clearly looks extremely concerned as he doesn't want to repeat his mistake of putting Ciel's life in danger again....he can't take the risk of loosing Ciel anymore....Sebastian even blamed himself for being able to protect Ciel properly
As Ciel is seen symbolically bathing in darkness...absorbing all the dark side of the world and his commitment towards the contract... Sebastian learns how to be more 'human'....how to experience his emotions in a more humanly terms...it brings both Ciel and Sebastian together much more closer...closer enough to trust each other...caring for each other's need...watching Ciel's back all the time
Ciel made him realize what it is like to be human....He is experiencing new emotions with Ciel everyday...he isn't quite there yet to be lebeling it as love...in his terms it would be 'caring, sympathy, extreme posession and obsession'
Lastly, one thing I want to say is this ...Sebastian clearly learned how to be more 'vengeful' towards anyone whoever tries to hurt 'Ciel' ....making him more 'human' ....more like 'ciel' ...being able to understand ciel...being able to sympathize with ciel and his childhood struggles ..therefore, he is always there by Ciel's side ...to the end...and will forever be in his side.
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#sebaciel#sebastian michaelis#ciel phantomhive#proship#sebastian x ciel#yaoi bl#fanfic
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What really pisses me off is people insisting the break-up doesn't make sense as its own thing when it's so clearly in-character for both of them
Buck has been in a serious relationship with a man for six months but hasn't said the word bisexual. We only know that's His Label bc Oliver Stark calls him bisexual outside of the show. Buck has had what seemed to be a perfect fairytale relationship with Tommy bc Tommy made him feel so safe and comfortable and taken care of that he just let everything else about his coming out journey kinda simmer on the back burner.
And, hey, there's nothing wrong with taking your time with that. But considering the scene at dispatch where he still couldn't talk about his sexuality in concrete terms, clearly he hasn't processed it much, if at all. Buck is the guy who dives deep into research at the slightest opportunity, him knowing so little about queerness and queer culture six months into a serious same-sex relationship isn't just out of character but a clear sign that he simply hasn't done any work to explore his sexuality for himself outside of his relationship with Tommy. Whether the writers intended for it read like that or not doesn't matter very much, bc that's exactly what I'm seeing here.
And, again, that alone as a reason to break up with someone is extremely shitty but that's also not what happened.
Tommy clearly has a history of isolating. He's been hurt a lot in the past, we don't need to know the details to know he's a deeply wounded man who spent most of his life guarding his own heart from the world. He told Buck and the audience over and over again, "I look confident. I look sure. I am comfortable. But it took hard work. I wasn't like this before. This is new. This is good but this is scary. I'm working on it I'm working on it I'm working."
He can see that Buck views him as something more, something better, than he thinks he is. Buck loves Tommy, Buck was infatuated with Tommy. Tommy was this perfect guy in Buck's eyes. And that scared Tommy. It intimidated him. But he kept going bc it wasn't a big deal and he could always remind Buck that hey he's just a guy, a guy who had done things wrong for a long time. But Buck never fully grasped it either. Likely bc of how good Tommy made him feel, he struggled to fully grasp that things with Tommy couldn't always be so perfect and good and safe.
They don't talk about that but they keep going bc they like each other bc they're falling in love bc until that six month mark they were both still fairly distracted by how good it felt to be together to really, seriously consider the ramifications of ignoring those not-so-little things they didn't want to face right then.
And then suddenly it's been six months and they're clearly both in love and they're both clearly not ready to be acknowledging that at all. It's been six months and they're just trying to match each other's pace but have never talked about what that pace actually is and then suddenly they're talking about how Tommy used to be engaged to the woman who taught Buck what a real relationship meant and they still aren't even ready to acknowledge they're in love but Buck is already asking to move in together and talking about marriage and they haven't even said i love yous and Buck can't even utter the word bisexual out loud but he wants to jump into living together and fusing their lives together.
But he's not ready for that. As far as Tommy can see he's not ready for that. And if he's asking for something so big when he can't even say the word love then maybe, in Tommy's mind, he'll never truly be able to say it. Maybe they'll keep going like this. Living together and being together but Buck can't face his sexuality as its own thing and Tommy can't face how his trauma affects their relationship and eventually it'll be too much and maybe Buck still wouldn't want to say it and Tommy would push him away like he pushes everyone away and then they'll be right back to that moment, weeks or months or years later, with Buck wanting more but not able to say those words and with Tommy wishing he'd left before it hurt so much.
And sure it hurts to leave now but at least now he's early. Now, Buck hasn't wrapped himself around every piece of his life. Just his heart. At least now he'll hurt but he won't have to move just to get rid of the scent of Evan Buckley perpetually lingering in every corner of his home.
Buck loves Tommy so much he can't imagine a future without him. Tommy loves him so much he can't imagine a future where he gets to keep him.
The break-up makes all the sense in the world. It just doesn't make sense that the break-up wouldn't force them to work on their respective issues and bring them back together stronger in the future.
#bucktommy#911 abc#this is an angsty ass will they wont they slow burn endgame in my mind#and if the show fumbles such a perfect romance arc that's on them for being morons#but as far as I'm concerned they're each other's forever#they're just not ready for forever yet
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(comic references under cut)
a personal and fav hc of mine is that following jason's death, yes, batman shuts down, yes, he becomes colder and destructive — going out every night and staying out for as long as he can because hurting is better than trying and failing to sleep. i don't think he would have done the same as bruce wayne, though.
bruce wayne pulls away from the public. galas and events are either cancelled by the wayne foundations or go ahead without the man in attendance. no one can really blame him, after the death of his sheltered and beloved second son. there are no comments issued by anyone in the family besides what is strictly necessary and after one unavoidable yet invasive investigation¹ to sedate public obsession, bruce wayne does not speak on the matter at all.
he does however say a lot through action.
within a couple months, a long standing project finally gets unveiled with no big event or publicity. the Jason Todd-Wayne Homeless Shelter, right in the centre of Crime Alley. the Jason Todd-Wayne Children's Fund, offering free lunch meals to school children from struggling families. The Jason Project, focusing on reading programmes in prisons and rehabilitation support. donations under the name Jason Todd are publicly given to a multitude of charities.
the public opinion on these actions are split. some find it wonderful if heartbreaking, how a child can be so loved that their parent will do anything to make their legacy leave a mark in time. gotham hasn't seen such abrupt change in — well, ever. bruce wayne is known for charity, of course, but this is different. this is for one person. this is the most expensive form of mourning.
others are a bit unsettled. if all of this could have been done, why not do it before? why use a dead boy's name to do good that will only benefit the living waynes reputations? is this some sort of ego thing? to make himself feel better? to make everyone else feel bad?
bruce doesn't quite know himself.
part of it feels useless, pouring money and time not spent breaking bones (his own and others) into fulfilling dreams jason had once had. the boy had always wanted to help in a way that was more than batman, more than bruce. is it invasive, to assume jason would have been grateful for this, that jason would have agreed? does he have any right to be so presumptuous?
part of it feels necessary. to implicitly tell the world that even before jason todd had publicly died, the city had lost a hero². that losing him is more than just an article for the front page of the daily newsletter. that gotham has lost someone intrinsically important. to make it clear that bruce wayne is only as good as what his children let him be. that they are the ones who can make change, at the end of the day.
most of it is selfish. the Wayne Botanical Gardens opens a new exhibit for the first time in decades named My Son. the Gotham Library dedicates an entire self to Jason Todd-Wayne. the third door in the living quarters of the Wayne Manor is always locked, except for monthly dustings. there is a lesson, locked in a glass case down in a Cave, labeled A Good Soldier.
¹ : Batman: Gotham Knights #45
² : Batman #125
#i think the psychology of batman of bruce after jasons death is something so very often simplified#and rarely ever explored in a nuanced way#this is just the surface of something i think would make it more compelling#and more haunting for jason#because imagine you come back and your death has done Good#but its not You who caused it. you come back but the city is not grateful for you. they are interested who you once were#who you died as#your father thinks similarly.#doesn't he?#bruce wayne#jason todd#character study#saki 2am rambles
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I want a long explanation of Albert's mental state after re5, you know....ummm, I mean, how much does his behavior and actions change? How will he feel about himself? Will he suffer from depression or such disorders? How will be his relationship with the reader?
I hope I didn't bother you ❤️❤️
awh, asks are never a bother!! wi will say I think @nshtn is much better at describing wesker's psyche than me, but my version of post re5!wesker (i call him uroboros!wesker) is different than theirs.
also holy shit this is 1200 words, i don't know what happened
i think immediately after re5, there's no change. physiclly, he's incredibly weak and in near-constant pain as uroboros heals him. you dote on him religiously, desperate to keep him alive as well, and this is what begins his mental shift. it does take a few months, but he slowly comes to realize how much he needs you past his surface level sexual desire and trust in you as a "lackey" basically
not that he never felt affection for you, but he certainly labelled it as something superficial - what one would feel for a pet, perhaps. now that he has nothing to do except sit around and feel sorry for himself and struggle with his feelings toward his own virus in his body, he feelings for you morph quite a bit.
but first, his self-perception. after spending his life comparing himself and those around him to Spencer, he had a serious ego problem and god-complex. he literally calls himself a god in re5, and gods don't lose the game - except he did. i think wesker sees the world as pretty black and white. you're either an asset or an enemy, worthy or a waste, and the only time in his life when this mindset fractured was in stars.
he saw many, many people as an officer who made genuine mistakes that put them in awful situations - criminals who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and victims who just wanted a way out. he finally had a glimpse of humanity's reality, that regular people had to fight to survive like he did, except they get to be happy when they survive something. he never had that. it was survive or fail, and you don't get to be happy about it when your only other option is to die. i think marcus' death absolutely had to do something to his psyche as well, definitely as a motivator to 'stay on the path paved for you, and be obedient, or bad things will happen."
so in stars he feels conflicted emotions about the reality of his childhood, but they're temporary and quickly get repressed again as his life goes on. they resurface post-re5 because he sees how you interact with others, and he really has nothing else to do except to think about it.
this obsession with analyzing his own upbringing couples rather poorly with his feelings for you, now fully fledged as romantic and devoted. of course, he refuses to say anything. he now believes that he's worthless, a failure, and his life's work has been utterly destroyed. wesker is the kind of person who needs a goal and clear objectives, and without them he feels like he'll drown in his own thoughts. which is exactly what he's doing!
you notice his odd behavior immediately, from the way he refuses compliments that used to make him cocky, and how he rarely (if ever) asks you for anything. you were basically his assistant before, and now he apologizes for even having a harsh tone with you. he can't fathom how you care so deeply for a failure like him, and why you aren't using helping to save his life against him. because that's what people do, right? they take and give and everything has to be a favor that helps you climb to the top.
well, you never actually cared about him being on the top, so you take it upon yourself to confess first. surely he's always known how you felt about him, smirking at your blushing reactions and lusty stares, but he reacts bad when you finally tell him. he thinks this is how you're making him repay for saving his life, by humiliating and debasing him for his romantic attachment to you.
this is a shock to you, because you thought he was moping out of self-pity, not a midlife, self-exploratory bout of depression. it hurts both of your feelings - he thinks you've played him by being kind for something in return, and you're heartbroken that the man you love doesn't trust you anymore.
it takes a while for him to come around. you double down on your affection and explanations, trying to dismantle his fragile mindset piece by piece. he's resistant, somehow convincing himself that he's trapped in some sick mind game that you're manipulating, because he's too thick to just give in. he doesn't know how to accept love or, frankly, get the fuck over himself. yes, he failed. yes, his life's work is kind of ruined. but he has a new lease on life, if he would just accept it.
what finally pulls him out of this spiral is a kiss. you've been pleading with him for days, trying to get him to just talk to you and work this out, because you can't keep living in this emotional hell. he's snippy and rude and exhausted, because he feels the same. he can't bear to be around you anymore, so he tells you to leave him the hell alone. you're in his new office, having switched safe houses a few times until you could finally settle, and this most recent, permanent move is why you've been so upset.
why does he think you're sticking around? he still has access to nearly all of his resources, if he really wanted you gone he could leave without telling you. he's well healed now, except for a few things he'll likely deal with forever, but he's keeping you around. he knows he can't let go of you, but he's still so resistant to everything you're offering.
he's standing hunched over his desk, hands white-knuckling the dark mahogany, broad shoulders and back facing you so he can hide him expression from you. his voice is strained, like he's barely holding himself together while you're openly crying. this is unbearable, but you comply with his wishes.
your last move is to walk closer, your hand lightly settling on his elbow while you press your forehead to his bicep, seeking any tiny sliver of comfort you can find in him. you leave a gentle kiss on his arm, as well as a wet patch of your tears, before you walk away, silent except the heartbreaking sound of your sniffling.
this shatters him. he spends the rest of the day destroying himself, but he vows it's the last time he'll wallow in misery. it takes time, but he slowly begins to open up to you, admitting to his poor mental health and struggles with finding purpose. how he can't fathom your love for him, but he can't fight his own attachment to you either. he cries when you kiss his lips for the first time, but he fails to hide his smile when you pull away.
later in life, years after the devastation that was Kijuju, he's a different man. he's still a little flighty and calculating, but he's fast to comfort and reassure you, expressing himself freely and communicating instead of lashing out or pushing you away. you both still work on...well, everything. your lives have been tragic and painful, especially his own, but he's never felt so secure as he does with you. he truly loves you, and he'll do anything he can to keep himself from ever hurting you again.
#resident evil#albert wesker#trekk answers#albert wesker x reader#albert wesker x you#albert wesker headcanons#headcanons#resident evil x reader#trekk writes#uroboros!wesker#stars wesker#re5 wesker#re1#re1r#re1 wesker#re5
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I don’t know how long this was in my inbox for, I’m assuming it’s been here for like 3 years so I’m SO sorry anon lol. I’ve been going through writers block for like years at this point and I still struggle with it.
BUT recently I’ve gotten back intowriting kinda, and since I’ve been writing a Sephiroth fic I thought I’d finally start writing headcanons again. The FF7 writing community outside of in-game ships is dry as fuck right now, especially the headcanon/reader-insert side of fandom, so hopefully you’ll enjoy this if you’re still out there anon! I apologise again TTTT
This is a mix of SFW and NSFW headcanons as it’s been a while since I’ve posted any headcanons, and my view on Sephiroth has sort of changed since the last time I posted headcanons for him, so it might be different to my previous interpretations. But I have included more spicy headcanons, so hopefully you'll enjoy!
I would like to add that while these are my own interpretations of Sephiroth, I have also been influenced by many other interpretations/headcanons of him as well! Most of these aren’t adding anything original at all, and I’d say a lot of blogs on here say about the same kind of thing in regards to him. So if anyone disagrees, that’s okay! This is all interpretation and I’m just mainly having fun.
SFW and non-SFW below All headcanons are of CrisisCore!Sephiroth
DISCLAIMER: long post below, lots of text.
SFW
I know he’s like…technically half alien, and that’s a big reason as to why he’s always felt and kind of behaved differently, but to me, he’s very very neurodivergent coded. I don’t want to use a specific label, but he’s absolutely neurodivergent to me. He’s always felt like an outcast, he stands out, he holds himself differently, he’s aloof, stoic, doesn’t really know how to say things without coming off as intense and kinda intimidating. He barely socialises with anyone other than his friends because he doesn’t really know how to. He never seeks out friendship with anyone, and he became friends with Genesis and Angeal originally because of proximity. I’m not saying the friendship wasn’t genuine, it was and he cared for them, but he’ll never be the first to initiate a friendship or anything like that – the fact that Genesis and Angeal were in SOLDIER, therefore in proximity to Sephiroth, is what sparked the friendship. He would have never been like “hey bro, let’s be buddies”. It was more like, he had to see these people regularly, so he had no choice but to socialise with them, and then he ended up finding out that they weren’t too bad and he enjoyed their company, and friendship and a deeper bond formed after that.
He struggles to relate to people, but grows very attached to people he can relate to. Whether that’s being an orphan, being an outcast, shared hobbies, ANYTHING. If he can find anything to relate to someone, something you can share, it sparks his interest (platonically) and will make him feel slightlyyyy more at ease around you and want to get to know you more.
A lot of people headcanon him with anxiety or PTSD, and I completely agree. He’s very neurotic. But I think that’s quite obvious if you consider his past and how he was raised. No one could come out of that completely mentally healthy and sane. He’s prone to insomnia, night terrors, panic attacks, but it’s never shown to anyone but him. In canon, we can see that he’s almost always composed and professional, and he is constantly putting in effort to maintain that demeanor.
Has no identity outside of SOLDIER/Shinra. Him being neurodivergent also makes him struggle a lot more with this, so he’s kind of internalised being a SOLDIER and it completely defines him. Poor boy is lost.
He likes people (platonically and/or romantically) that can “keep up with him.” Zack, Genesis and Angeal were his only friends, and it makes sense. They can, at least somewhat, keep up with him. He likes a slight challenge (physically and mentally), someone that can keep his brain moving. I think he’d be amused by someone who was a bit hot-headed or blunt, as well.
Very dry sense of humour, as we see in canon. A lot of the time people can’t tell he’s joking unless they’re close with him.
Very very intelligent and academic. Loves to read. Lil nerd. Will read encyclopedias, dictionaries, thesauruses, history books, articles, textbooks, science books, anything non-fiction. Not only does it calm his brain and his neuroticism, but he is genuinely interested in anything where he can gain knowledge. Knowledge is power, and he needs to feel powerful. He is a fast reader too, able to finish an average 500 page book in under 6 hours.
Only listens to classical music. Literally does not understand anything else. There can’t be any vocals, just instruments.
Horrible at expressing himself honestly and genuinely, and spontaneously. Everything is carefully thought out and spoken bluntly, as if he’s reading from a textbook. He will literally stand there silently, eyes narrowed in deep thought, for a minute if he needs that time to think of a reply, because he’s not one to fumble over words. If he’s with someone (a friend or partner) who will give him the space and patience to speak openly and awkwardly, it will still take him time to be completely vulnerable. A partner who is open and vulnerable and doesn’t shy away from being a little awkward with their feelings will involuntarily demonstrate vulnerability for him, and give him an opportunity to try it for himself, and he’ll kind of learn from them.
^^^ Adding on to this point, there are so many scenes in my rough drafts of Flood & Flame where Sephiroth and reader are literally standing there staring at each other like this gif, and mulling over what they should say LMAO. A lot of these scenes made the cut, too. Just two neurodivergent folk falling in love, nothing else to see here!
Takes ages for him to get comfortable with someone and trust them. The process is easier if, as mentioned before, he can relate to you in any way, if you’re open with him first, or if you’re in proximity. Eg, if you work in Shinra or SOLDIER, you mention your mum died, you say you like swords, you mention you like combat, etc etc. It can be something so small, but because he’s neurodivergent and has felt alone his whole life, he’ll latch on to it and that will be the starting point of the friendship/relationship developing. He needs an opportunity to get closer to you, or else it will be difficult and near impossible.
He needs to feel in control or else he’ll spiral. I don’t mean in a toxic way, as in “you’re my friend/partner so you can never look at anyone and can’t have friends and blah blah blah”, I mean it as in he needs to constantly upkeep his professional demeanour and look like he has his shit together, even if he hasn’t slept for two days and has barely eaten and has been having panic attacks. He will slip, sometimes, maybe being a bit more snarky or moody than usual, or saying/revealing something he didn’t mean to, but ultimately he has control over every facet of his being. This makes him a very intentional person, too. He means everything he says, and sticks to his word.
He loves routine, it keeps him grounded. But this means that he dislikes change and has a hard time dealing with it. It can be as little as Shinra changing the ingredients to his shampoo and conditioner, or to what happened to Genesis and Angeal in Crisis Core – change on any scale is overwhelming to Sephiroth.
Definitely not a love at first sight kind of guy. Even if you’re like, strikingly beautiful, everyone just is when he first meets them. You’re just a person (and this isn’t in a condescending way lol) like everyone else. He could only develop romantic feelings and love for someone after getting to know them. Then he starts to see you as beautiful and so much more. It’s really sweet.
If he ever developed feelings for anyone, he wouldn’t even know he was developing feelings for a good chunk of it lol. He’d think he was just fascinated by them. Eventually he’d realise, oh shit, do I…love this person? He’d start catching on once he starts thinking of them more often and seeking out their company, and eventually when he had the impulsive urge to kiss them, he’d realise he was in too deep.
Touch starved and also kind of touch repulsed. He’s a contradiction sometimes, and it confuses him. He’s more touch starved than he is touch repulsed, but when you haven’t had ANY physical affection all your life, and all you know is war and death and being tested on, you of course are going to go into a bit of a shock if anyone touches you. He’s used to combat, to having his guard up and being skeptical. So if you happen to brush your shoulder accidentally against his, or your hand accidentally touches his, it sends a wave of electricity throughout his entire body, almost burning him on the inside. He wants to reach out, but he stops himself. Unsure why he wants to, why he likes it, and Sephiroth not knowing something means not having the upper hand and not having control, and that makes him disgusted and disappointed in himself.
Physical affection (platonic, romantic, sexual) will take time. He needs to let his guard down to accept it and embrace it. If he trusts you, it will be easier, but still tedious. Once he gets there, even just by a little bit, you’ll see him start to initiate affection, and then once he is fully comfortable being with you, he is obsessed with it. He is always wanting to be in your presence, just like a cat. Even if you’re not doing anything, just being able to see you and be near you is enough and what he needs; this is partly to do with wanting to know you’re safe and worrying that something is going to happen, that something is going to change and he’ll lose everything. Like I said, he needs to be in control, and if he’s around, he can stop something from going wrong.
He comes to love physical affection, it is so so calming to him and comforting. Loves to hold you and smother you. Loves to smell your hair or the soap you used in the shower, he just loves the presence and feeling of you. Eventually he is very clingy and touchy with physical affection, and it’s one way he shows his complete love and devotion. Is a big fan of cuddling (he never calls it that though) and holding your hands–kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand, lightly caressing and dragging his fingers over all the lines and landscape of your hands. Also really loves resting his forehead against yours.
Due to his upbringing and the way he is, love is all-consuming for him. He loves to the point of obsession and even possibly madness. It takes over him. He would happily let it consume him like a wildfire. He would kill for it. I don’t mean this is an inherently toxic way either, BUT this can become very destructive, and if he happens to be so very unlucky and ends up with a person who doesn’t have good intentions, then it could definitely be a bad thing and end up destructive. Now, in the fanfic/fiction side of things, this is obviously very compelling and fascinating to read, and a love like what I described is quite romantic if it’s in a genuine, passionate and non-toxic way. But I just wanted to add that disclaimer that it can become quite the opposite of romantic and be destructive if it’s not a relationship that is trying to be healthy and trying to grow. I don’t mean it in the way that Sephiroth will become abusive, I just mean that he is obsessive naturally, and that can turn out to be a positive or a negative, depending on the situation. He can be a flame that is burnt out, or a flame that burns others.
MORE SFW + non-SFW
He’s a virgin. I said this before and I stand by it. Has never kissed anyone, has never been touched–the man hasn’t even been hugged, damn it!
I do think, realistically, if I wanted to be 100000% accurate, I’d consider him asexual and aromantic, especially after Crisis Core timeline, and if you wanted to see him as some narcissistic, entitled, eldritch-horror sort of villain, which he very much is tbh. BUT he is half-human (to me), and I don’t think it’s far-fetched at all to believe he has urges like everyone else. So, for me, I see it the same way as I do with how he’d fall in love with someone. I don’t think he could ever be sexually/physically attracted to someone unless he was close with them and trusted them. Once he develops feelings for you, then he’d start to immediately be sexually attracted to you. Before all that, you were just another person, you just are–your body is a body, it is functioning, it just is. But then, when he has feelings for you (and as I mentioned before, he doesn’t even understand until much later that he has feelings for you), suddenly your body…it takes his breath away. Your shoulders. Your chest. Your everything; it paralyses him, almost. You are a walking goddess/god to him, so beautiful and bright he is transfixed and can’t look anywhere but at you. Your face looks like it was sculpted by an artist that was gifted with magic from the Cetra. A rare beauty, one that he cannot put into words as it is a beauty so special and intricate that no human words can do any justice. When you look up at him, smile at him, he loses sense of time and place, nothing else exists outside of the small moment you are sharing, and he only sees you. The man is a poet at heart.
Since he is a virgin, and is so damn enthralled by you, he doesn’t really know how to act lol. He looks confident and like he’s in control, but he’s not, especially the first time you do anything. The first time you kiss, you’ll have to lean in first, or give him a sign you’re wanting him to kiss you. Honestly, you’ll probably have to tell him it’s okay to kiss you. It’s just a soft, chaste kiss at first. He’s never done this, remember. But like everything, he’s highly skilled and intelligent, and kissing is natural, so once he’s confident again it doesn’t take him long to get the hang of things.
He has many kinds of kisses. Soft ones that last long without breaking away, reminders that he’s there and he isn’t going anywhere. Other kisses that are quick, multiple long pecks, that are to tell you you’re beautiful and he’s thinking of you and he’s grateful. Then there are the passionate ones, the ones where he throws in every desire and intense feeling he can’t ever comprehend or describe, where he’s losing himself in you–kissing you as if it’s all he knows, changing the rhythm and speed because he’s in the moment. It’s as if he can’t get any closer to you/can’t get enough. Sephiroth’s passionate kisses are exactly how he is–intense, skillful, intentional, and overwhelming. He kisses with the same skill and intent he uses to wield Masamune.
Sexually repressed boy. Sex is extremely vulnerable, and he doesn’t understand or know how to express his sexuality. At first he’s afraid he’s going to hurt you.
The first time he has sex, he is in awe and is so curious. He focuses more on you, ignoring himself, wanting to know every contour of your body. His hands are all over, eyes focused on you, trying to gauge every reaction so he can store it in his memory. He always cares more about your pleasure than his own, and he is genuinely turned on when you are. He is slow and gentle, taking his time, and he needs your instructions to figure out what to do.
Once he is familiar with your body, and his own, he’s literally insatiable. He needs you, every day. And since he’s SOLDIER and not completely human, the man has stamina. Jesus christ. He could go for multiple rounds and he’s good to go even after he came. He knows he’s built differently though, like a fucking tank, and unless you’re into overstimulation, he’s perfectly happy with whatever you want.
I think a relationship with Sephiroth, that eventually includes sex, will include a lot of exploration for you both. But especially with Sephiroth. He’s never been this vulnerable and open before, never really understood his sexuality and urges and was kind of disgusted in them. But I think he’d discover a lot about himself, and it surprises him just how much desire he really has.
Sex with Sephiroth is not just fucking. It can’t be. He couldn’t have sex with someone he didn’t trust and have strong feelings for. Sex is an act of love, an act of devotion and adoration, an opportunity to tell you without words just how much he’d do for you and how deeply he loves you. Just like when he kisses you, it’s like he can’t get close enough, and even though you’re pressed against each other he still needs to be closer.
He really loves the feeling of your bare chest against his. It almost makes him primal.
I think he’d be really into edging, and he’d have a praise kink. He’d want to be worshiped but would also be worshiping you. It would be two people literally feeding each other’s egos lmao. I also think, considering how much control and power he does truly have, he’d also be happy to relinquish it from time to time, and enjoy a partner who’s a bit domineering and bossy, and one that takes control. So if you want to push him down on the bed, ravish him and boss him around, and ride him till the sun sets, he’ll be more than delighted.
Loves giving head. Yes, everyone likes receiving it, but when he gives head, it’s like he’ll never be able to do it again. He goes down on you as if it’s his last day on the planet. Absolutely devours you like Shinra has ordered him to. His tongue and jaw never get tired, by the way.
Not very loud but he does get more vocal the more you have sex. Grunts a lot and has a very deep, guttural moan.
He’s very attuned to the senses. Sound, smell, and touch turn him on so much, and have a significant effect on him. The sound of your voice can send him into a frenzied state, and even if it’s the middle of the day and he happens to smell your perfume or scent on his sheets or his clothes, he starts to go crazy.
More often than not he has to tie up his hair every time you have sex or he goes down on you. It always gets in the way, and you do NOT want to find a long strand of his hair in between anywhere.
I can’t decide on whether he has super sperm due to Jenova’s genes or if he’s infertile. Like it’s either one or the other to me and I feel like both make sense, but still can’t quite decide on one. He’d either be the type to have sperm so strong that even birth control couldn’t stop them, or he��d be infertile and no scientific method whatsoever could help. Who knows honestly.
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I don't think Luffy is very likely to say "I love you" not directly. He will announce proudly "You're my friend, you're my family, you're my 'insert connection here"
He wants people to know much what they have matters, as a child thats what he wanted, connection. So to him the things he built, the connections he chose are more important and worth more then what might be an empty word.
People in his life said they loved him but they still left him to be alone time and time again, Garp, Shanks... Ace, even if that couldnt be avoided. Not that Luffy lets himself dwell on how lonely he was before meeting his brothers and finding his crew, but the word does not mean the same to him.
Unlike Law, who pins a large part of his personality on that word. It is the last thing Cora said to him, he carries his love on his sleeve through acts of service, even if he doesnt say it outright, he wants to hear it.
And it bothers him more then a little that Luffy wont say it.
Sure Luffy initiates touch, and never flinches back when Law reaches out first, but he never says it. They are friends, they are allies, and perhaps that is all they are. Doesn't matter that they spend long nights curled together, watching the stars. Luffy always pulling Law into a hug, and keeping close any chance he gets.
Law in not so many words asks what they are, and Luffy doesn't answer, just smiles and says they are whatever Torao wants them to be. The one time he does not give a label to their relationship. That hurts Law more, just a little stabing sensation in his heart.
They are both pirate captains, after the one piece. They should be enemies. It would be easier if Law still thought that way.
He doesn't.
He wants more.
But how does someone who struggles in believe that they deserve love, ask for it?
He struggles to accept it when his crew says the same thing, and they have been saying it for over a decade, and his logical side knows its true. His ingrained trauma's say otherwise.
Luffy notices that Law is getting antsy, everytime he announces their connection to someone. Notices that Law starts getting distant and a little pouty. He is good at reading emotions, especially of people he cares about, so he starts bugging Law asking whats wrong. It takes a few days of non-stop Luffy pesteri g for Law to snap that he just want's to know if Luffy loves him!?
Luffy pouts "Yeah! You're my Torao!" Not even a connection, but it makes sense to Luffy.
Law shakes his head "You cant even say it!"
"Say what, why do i gotta say anything!?" Luffy reaching out to take his hands.
Law stepping back "We're done, this is too much"
"Nuh-uh!" Luffy closes the gap between them before Law can use his power to leave "i know what you want Torao" he bumps his forehead against Law's "i think you're cool, and smart and i dont want you to leave" Luffy takes a deep breath "Everytime I say the thing, people leave, okay, so yeah i know what you want me to say, but i would rather you were safe!"
Law swallows. He understand that feeling, the feeling of being cursed and your actions cause others to leave. He lets Luffy pull him closer. "Then you do?"
"Yeah Torao, i do" Luffy hugs him tighter "And I always will, okay?"
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