#joel miler

[scootkiddo]

it shouldn’t be glossed over just how empathetic Joel is. he expressed empathy towards Ellie given her dire case of being a child within the confines of a cruel, unforgiving-apocalyptic world that supplants what should have been a habitual childhood for her. he offered an apology for scolding Henry and calling him a rat without initially reconciling the benign intentions behind his actions. he pleaded for the elderly sniper on the outskirts of kansas city to put down the rifle so he didn’t have to kill him. it all accentuates just how against his nature he must be to survive in this world. he can’t always spare people, he can’t always shed sympathy. but he wishes he could, and even on occasion tries. it’s the very context he once stooped to the level of the hunters in his past that makes this point pang all the more. he isn’t apathetic. he isn’t exclusively selfish. he isn’t rigid. he is open-ended. Joel is more than a hammer that sees all problems as a nail to be forcefully struck without finesse. He values compassion and preserving life, and any ultimatum that cements the opposite only elicits a last resort of violence and numbness. the silver lining is more desirable than conforming to cruelty

[something-tofightfor]

Happy 43rd birthday, Joel Miller.

[luvrxbunny]

buzz

Pairing: DBF!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: You get high with Joel and some things are discussed. 

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, alcohol consumption, smoking (weed), praise kink-ish, hair pulling, dry humping, cum in pants(?) (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.5k

A/N: I definitely have a thing for guys cumming in their pants. 

You speed the whole way to Joel’s house. You were supposed to be there at 12:30 pm but after some time management and fashion complications you were arriving at 2:45 pm. You knew your father was going to murder you, he had been planning this barbeque for weeks, and he had gotten the whole neighborhood involved as well. You knock frantically until Joel answers the door. 

Your spine straightens as you watch a smile spread over his face. “Look who decided to drop by!” You grunt at him and let yourself in. “I know Joel! Where is he? I brought pumpkin pie..?” You offer as an apology.

You whirl around the kitchen, looking for somewhere to put it. Joel watches you run around his kitchen, your little pink skirt twirling around with you. “How ‘bout you give me that pie and just go see your old man?” You stop your search and look at him like he’s saved your life. “Perfect! So perfect Joel! You’re lovely.” You kiss him on the cheek quickly and run off to find your dad. Joel is left standing in the middle of his kitchen with your pie in his hands and the ghost of your kiss on his cheek. He chuckles before setting it down, pretending like a blush isn’t rising to his cheeks and spreading over his face.

“Dad?!” You finally find your father in Joel's backyard and wrap your arms around him tightly. “I’m so sorry! I couldn’t find an outfit and then I had to go to like three whole different stores to find the stupid pumpkin pie that no one even asked for and then by the time I started heading over here I was like an hour away and-”  He cuts off your rambling with a deep laugh. 

“Don’t worry about it honeybee!” He comes a bit closer to whisper in your ear. “Got all the neighborhood women here with Joel answering the door,” He tells you. You assume he's been drinking as laughter escapes him with every word. “Ugh! Stop it, Dad.” 

You cover your face with a laugh, shaking your head because you know exactly what he’s talking about. You and Joel talk about it all the time. It had come up during one of your many late-night talks, and he denied it to no end, he had no clue that the women in the neighborhood wanted him. You had to start pointing out their behaviors to him. The way some wives would offer to make him a plate while their husbands were empty-handed, how there was always at least one lady asking to fix him a drink, and there was even a lady who offered to fan him on a hot day. Joel accepted that you were right and now basked in the attention. He openly entertains their flirting now, offering to do husbandly tasks around the house from time to time.

You almost wish you hadn’t made him aware of it. Now you have to watch them flirt with him while knowing that he knows they want him. You’re aware of the way his chest slightly puffs out when they compliment him, something he used to only do for you. When you used to bathe in the way he reacted to your compliments, your innuendos, but now they’re commonplace for him. You liked to see the way he craved them, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

He’d do little things for you, fix you a plate, offer to drive you anywhere you wanted to go, just to hear it. Now though, he doesn’t need it. If he ever needs a confidence boost, Joel can just put it in your dad’s head that he needs to throw a barbecue. Joel always hosts because he has the best backyard so your dad never has any reason to say no, plus he loves grilling for the neighborhood.

You imagine that's how this cookout came to be as you’re standing with your dad and his friends. You aren’t listening to the conversation, you’re watching Joel. He has a beer in his hand and looks a little uncomfortable in his shirt, fiddling with his collar as he’s swarmed by the wives. You can see that the tips of his ears are red, presumably from the attention of the whores the wives. Anger bubbles in your chest as watch his dimple appear on his cheek when they talk to him, no doubt praising every aspect of him. You have no right to feel this way, he isn't yours. You decide to ignore the feeling and get another drink.

The night moves on and you can hear people gathering their things to head home. You migrated inside halfway through the night to “recharge your social battery” when you’re really just smoking in Joel’s garage/workshop. You’re sitting on a small office couch, through the walls you listen to people thank Joel and your father before leaving. You wait for a few more minutes, finishing off your joint before spraying yourself down and coming out. 

You make your way over to the living room to find your dad and Joel sitting on opposite ends of the sectional, drinking and watching TV. Joel looks more comfortable now that he’s changed out of his jeans and button-up and into a t-shirt and sweatpants. 

“Hey, honeybee! C’mere make yourself comfortable!” You smile at your dad’s invitation and sit in the corner seat, between him and Joel. 

“Where’d you run off to? Mrs. Thompson was asking for you.” You can hear a bit of sadness in his voice.

“I’m sorry, Dad. She was harassing me all night! Asking about why I was late, how it wasn’t fair to you, that I need to get my act together and I couldn’t deal.” You state, outwardly upset. “I mean I already know these things and I feel bad enough y’know? I just don’t need to hear it from a lady who takes her dogs to brunch.” Joel bursts out laughing at your remark causing a smile to spread on your face.

“The kid’s got a point, man. That lady will talk you into a coma if you let her.” He mutters as he takes another swig of his beer. You feel smugness settle in your chest at the fact that Joel is siding with you. Your dad nods his head and mumbles out in agreement and you all focus on the TV. You’re not paying attention to whatever it is that they’re watching due to the light buzz you’ve got going.

Instead, you’re thinking about Joel. The gray strands in his hair, the patches in his beard, his hands, his arms... your mind swarms with everything that is him. Until you feel a light push against your arm, you turn to see Joel pointing at your dad, an amused smile on his face. You’re head whirls around to see your dad, passed out on the couch. You laugh gently at him and shake your head before walking over to wake him up. You shake his arm gently, “C’mon pop, you should head on home.” You say with a light giggle as he groans, pushing himself up from the seat to give you a tight hug. “Alright honeybee, you got me.” You laugh into his shoulder as he squeezes you and let's go. You see his face scrunch up before sniffing lightly, “You smell that?”

You tense for a short moment before answering, “Yeah I know! I was in Joel’s workshop and it smells funky in there!” Your dad is shaking his head in disapproval at Joel as you hold in laughter. “Joel, you really gotta clean up in there, man okay?” He laughs as he pulls Joel in for a brief hug before leaving.

Joel immediately turns around and gives you a look. “If you’re gonna be smokin’ in my garage you can’t start blamin' your stink on me, darlin’. ” He has a soft smirk on his face as he says this, changing the channel from what looks like football to an episode of Rick & Morty, and walking to his kitchen.

“Oh, whatever! I don’t wanna hear complaining as long as I’m sharing with you, for free, might I add!” You shout back at him.

Joel walks out of the kitchen and towards you with snacks and drinks. He sits back down on the couch, a bit closer to you than he was before, and sets them down. You quickly grab a drink, your favorite, and open it up, “Joel, I didn’t know you had these!” You announce while happily sipping. He kicks his feet up on the table as he starts another beer, focused on the screen in front of him. “No, you jus' mentioned them the last time you were here,” He points at the TV, “same with this shit.”

You’re frozen as you process what he’s told you, that he listens, it makes you feel warm and happy as you sink into the couch. You guys sit there, drinking and laughing at the show for a while. Your cans are both empty by the time you remember you have a blunt in your bag. 

You interrupt the show with a dramatic gasp and run over to his workshop.

“What?! What?” Joel shouts at you as you run, worried until he hears your giggles and sees you return with a blunt and a pink lighter.

“Jesus, honey.” He places a hand on his chest and huffs out a laugh before continuing, “nearly gave me a damn heart attack, thought you were sick or something.”

His care for you makes your stomach tingle, in a wholesome and not so wholesome way.

“Aww Joel, you’re gonna make me burn up.” You say while fanning your face jokingly, despite it being completely true. You walk up to where Joel is sitting and light the blunt before handing it to him and walking over to the kitchen, taking his empty can with you to the trash. You think you can feel Joel’s eyes on your hips as you walk away but ultimately chalk it up to your delusions. 

Joel watches the way your ass moves as you walk away, taking a long hit from the blunt in an attempt to calm himself. You walk back into the room with some apple juice and the biggest smile on your face, “I fucking love apple juice” you giggle out at him, a little tipsy. 

He chuckles before taking another hit, “S’why I buy ‘em, sweetheart.” His voice is strained from the puff he’s holding in and looks over at you as he exhales. You’re looking at him in a way he hasn’t seen before, with something in your eye that he doesn’t recognize. “What's wrong?” He sounds concerned, his tone snapping you out of your trance and you begin to make your way over to him. 

“Nothing is wrong.” You take the blunt from him and sit back down, closer to him than you were before. “I’m thinking about how much the neighborhood wives would pay to be in my position.” This gets a loud, booming laugh out of Joel that makes your heart race. You giggle quietly as you take a hit, trying not to choke on the smoke while laughing. 

“You are too damn funny, kid. The wives should keep their money, and spend it on something nice.” He chuckles and sinks further into the couch, feeling his high start to hit when you pass the blunt back to him. 

“Aww stop it, Joel. You’re definitely something nice.” You push him gently, he exaggerates it and throws himself across the couch, making you laugh. “Stop, I’m serious!” You raise your voice over his fake groans of pain as pass the blunt.

“Yeah yeah I know, I just- honestly?” He pauses to take a large drag before continuing, “I just wouldn’t know what to do with ‘em.” He shrugs and passes the blunt back to you. “I don’t even know what ladies like nowadays” He finishes with a sad chuckle and shrugs.

“Really? I always assumed you were some crazy bachelor by night.” You say with a serious look before taking another puff.

“Ha. Ha. No, I’m serious. If I had all this attention when I was 19- hell even 18, I would’ve been all over these women,” He laughs softly. “but Sarah was born and I uh-” He turns to you and reaches for the blunt delicately, which you had over with a fond smile. He takes a hit before he continues, “Yeah so Sarah was born and I was so just busy raising her that I never really had time?”

You scoot closer to him take the blunt and drop some ashes in your empty apple juice bottle. You’re sitting on your legs as you listen to him, close enough that your knees are now touching his thigh and you’re blowing smoke into his cheek.

“I guess but she’s 19 now, Joel. She doesn’t really need you to raise her anymore.” You take another hit as you hear him softly gasp and put a hand over his chest.

“You’re gonna break my old heart, darlin’. You can’t say that to me.” He turns to you with a fake crying expression and you can tell he’s high, his eyes are dropping, a little unfocused, and almost bloodshot. It makes you giggle.

“She still needs you as a parent of course but you can get back out there. You’d be such a hit.” You laugh as you take another hit and Joel repositions himself so he’s a little more turned towards you, his arm comes up to rest on the couch behind you and one leg gets pulled up on the couch so your knees are now touching his shin.

“Would I?” He questions with his eyebrows furrowed and you’re about to answer him but the words die on your tongue. You watch his hand grab your wrist, twist so your palm is facing him, and pull the blunt to his mouth from between your fingers, holding you in place as he takes a hit. The action and contact have you throbbing between your legs, worsening when he releases you and you watch him close his eyes and exhale, his head falling slightly back before looking over at you. “In the dating pool, I mean. Do you really think I’d be a-” His hands come up for air quotes. “Hit?”

You have to gather your thoughts a bit before answering him. “Oh yeah, Joel. You’re exactly what women want.” You take another hit as Joel chuckles and stretches his neck before letting his head fall back on the couch, he places his foot back on the floor and adjusts his hips, spreading his legs a bit more. “What do ‘ya mean?” He grunts out.

You’re too busy staring at his hips to notice his question. You think you see something twitch against his thigh, your eyes dart up and make contact with his the moment you do. Joel reaches over and takes the blunt, you admire him as he takes a few hits before speaking again. “I asked you to explain, sweetheart.”

“Oh- uh, you’re just a specimen, Joel.” Your tongue is looser, your filter is off: you’re high. “You’re big and broad and you care. You’re nice to people and really mean to others and you’re so.. strong.” Joel takes another hit with a soft groan as you ramble deliriously. You notice something starting to press against his sweatpants and become fixated on it. “You’re protective and shy and you’re always trying. Your hair is salt and peppery and so fluffy-” You cut yourself off with a dramatic groan to emphasize your point. “You have a beard and warm brown eyes.” You’re watching his hips as they start to gently thrust into the air. He’s still holding the blunt but it’s been forgotten, the little orange bud having gone out. You can watch him fill up in his sweatpants, unconstricted, just pressing right up against the fabric. “You look scary but you’re actually not, girls- ladies um, they love that.”

Your heart is racing and you’re leaking between your legs, to the point where you’re worried you’ve soaked your panties through and started staining Joel’s couch. Your hips begin to subconsciously grind clit against your heel in time with Joel’s thrusts. “Uhm-” Your breathing is getting heavy but you can’t help it. “You’re voice is so good, s-smooth and deep an-and you have that southern accent.” Your eyes are hooded as you move your eyes up to see him, watching his furrowed expression as best you can with his face to the ceiling. "You're big, you're broad and all muscle.." You can see his chest beginning to heave as his eyelids flutter gently, still closed as his hips grind into the air. “And you’re such a gentleman Joel.”

Your voice has pitched up into a whine and it forces his eyes open, they meet your instantly. A groan comes from his throat as he registers your slowing hips, embarrassment creeping up inside you. He holds his eye contact with you as his hips stutter, his irises consumed by his pupil. Your eyes wander down from his to his lips and his tongue runs over them reflexively. When they meet him again they’re more desperate, his breaths coming faster. “So you wanna c’mere an’ kiss me or what?” He says with an uncharacteristically nervous tone, a hot red blush rising on his cheeks as you watch him twitch in his pants.

You swing one leg over him as soon as he offers, placing yourself directly over his bulge and his hands are gripping you instantly. “HOLY-” Joel shouts quickly and breathlessly the moment your pussy presses against him. “Fuck- I’m sorry- forgot we smoked. Fuck my body is fuckin’ vibratin’- I’m sorry.”

You huff out a soft laugh and put the rest of your weight down on him, earning a groan from him. “I know-” I moan slips out of you as you slowly start moving your hips. “I feel it too, Joel” 

You whisper gently in his ear before grinding yourself against him fully, the fabric of his sweatpants feeling perfect when pressed into you. His hands are gripping his hips and his head is still thrown back over the couch. He has his eyes pressed shut and rugged groans slip out of him as he begins to buck up into you, finally bringing his head up.

“Fuuuck, sweetie. Are all girls as soft as you now? Huh? Or are you special?” He moans against your ear, his breath tingling as it runs over the back of your neck. You’ve buried your face in the crook of his neck as your hips hump into him, one is gripping the fabric on his lower back, trying to push him against you harder and the other is behind his neck, sliding its way up into his hair. Once it reaches its destination you get a shocked moan from Joel as he pushes his head back into your hand. You moan and speed your hips up, rubbing your clit against him perfectly.

“I’m special.” You moan into his ear in response, feeling pleasure pool in your stomach and begin to spill over as Joel thrusts up into you. Your hands pull his hair earning a beautiful whine from him and begin to shake as your hips stutter. "All guys moan like this or are you special?“ You manage to get out in between moans, taunting him with his words. He moans even louder at your words, his hips speeding up in an impossible pace. You're almost overwhelmed with all the pleasure assaulting your senses. "N-Never felt this good before- shit, Joel.” His name comes out as a whine before you moan out and start cumming in his lap.

Your back is arched and your hips are grinding frantically into his cock as you moan in his ear, yanking on his hair in the process. You feel his huge arms wrap around you and hug you tightly to his chest before his hips smash up into you. He has his face turned into your neck and is whimpering into it every time his cock makes contact with your soft pussy. 

"Thank you, baby. Thank you, honey- fuck, feels so fuckin' good." His voice devolves into a whine as he freezes and you can feel his cock pulse against you. You feel him twitch several times as a wet patch spreads under your pussy. You can feel his lips open in a silent moan against your neck. He sounds winded when he starts breathing again, moans sliding out alongside his exhales. 

His muscles stop shaking before he speaks again, a sad groan coming out of him as he opens his mouth. “I used to be better than this, I swear.” His eyes are still closed as he gently presses up into you again with a groan, his cock twitching and spurting more cum into his pants. “Back in my prime, I would’ve rocked your world, would’ve had you shaking for me.”

You giggle into his neck before pulling back and placing a kiss on his nose softly. “I think you are in your prime, Joel.” He looks at you in disbelief.

“I don't see you shakin’, sweetheart.” You shake your head at him softly and grab his face with both of your hands. “I’m willing to give you time to change that.”

You see his eyes darken and his breathing gets shallow again, his hands tightening around you. He leans into your face with a smirk. “Y’know, I never even got that kiss…”

You giggle and pull him to you, kissing him with everything you have and feeling in the depths of your soul, that this was going to become a regular thing for you. You smile against Joel’s lips and your heart races at the thought. You pull away to giggle but he pulls you right back in, muttering out a muffled “Not enough” before smashing his lips to yours. 

You kiss him as much as he wants, bathing in his attention, for the rest of the night. 

Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

[booburry]

@fhatbhabie - Merry Christmas from your secret Santa! I gift you a DBF!Joel! I hope you enjoy it ♥

Setup: After your ride falls through to get to Uni, Joel offers to drive you himself.

Tags: Winter road trip, Some Fluff, Some Angst, Longing, Car Karaoke, lots of comments about Joel's hands while driving, female masturbation, reader can't climax, accidental walk-in

No use of Y/N; Reader is plus sized but no other physical traits given

WC: 5.9k

“Thanks again, Joel.” You muttered as you looked out the window to the white, snow-covered, fields you drove by. “For this…” you quietly mumbled, fearing the need to clarify yet not being able to think of whatever else Joel could interpret your thanks for.

After all, he had no clue of the surmounting crush you had growing for him since you were old enough to take notice of the finely aged wine that Joel Miller was—and it always boggled your mind how no woman was trying to snatch that man up.

He probably doesn’t want to be snatched. Definitely not from someone like me. That nasty voice inside your head told you as you heard Joel lightly drum his fingers against the wheel. If you hadn’t been so self-absorbed, you would have seen his shift in posture at your gratitude.

“It’s no problem.” He replied, speaking words that would normally not pull your focus to him, but it was the way he said it as if he was trying to reassure you of something that had you turn towards him. The motion caught his eye, Joel flicking his gaze to you before promptly putting it on the clear, and straight, road ahead of you. “It’s, uh, just your dad told me your ride fell through and that he couldn’t get ya there, but I was able to shift a few things…” another worried—if you thought Joel capable of such a thing—glance to you, “I owed your dad a favour anyways.”

And there it was. Joel just hanging out with you to help your dad. It had always been that way, it wouldn’t be any different now. He was there to help you move into your first place, loaned you his truck for a week when your dad’s had broken down and you needed to get to work, he even helped prepare a few family meals that he and Sarah would join you and your dad for Sunday’s.

Even though Joel and your dad hadn’t been best friends from a young age, or even when you were young, he had been around, heavily, since you were seventeen—when he and your dad went into business together with their construction company.

“He never seems to owe you any…” You can’t help but mutter, finding yourself pulling out your phone from your pocket and sinking into your screen, letting the rest of the world fade away as you withdrew, falling into yourself, mindlessly scrolling through all of your socials—desperately searching for anything that would spark any joy to stop the emptiness seeping into you.

It did not help the pain in your chest that all you wished for was for Joel to lay a hand carefully and deliberately over your thigh, to comfort you, and squeeze your flesh under his calloused hand. You couldn’t help but wonder, because it was always a thought, if his hand could stretch the width of your thick thigh or if he could properly grip you in the way you had constantly dreamt and fantasized of.

You were sure he could, even if there were always those seeds of doubt waiting to blossom like the first day of spring, you were certain any touch from him would be unbearable to live through in the moment.

The thought alone brought heat to your whole body. You cracked the window to let in the icy winter breeze.

A silence filled the truck between you two, but you were so withdrawn into yourself that you, once again, missed the flashes of nerves and uncertainty crack through Joel’s stoney expression at your words.

“Are you excited to be off to university?” His voice made you violently jump. “Oh, I didn’t know you were sleepin’—”

“No, I wasn’t. Umm,” you groaned as you sat back up in your seat, your body having slumped into itself as you zoned out, “yeah, I guess. I’m not really the age to live the classic ‘Uni Life!’, heh.” You used your valley girl voice, accompanied by a forced, high-pitched, laugh, and immediately regretted not stopping yourself. Why you blurted out the stupidest things or said them in the strangest voices, was always beyond you.

Most of the time it was fine, even entertaining, but without an immediate reaction from Joel, every millisecond felt soul-crushing. But the small curl to the corner of his lips, his salt and pepper beard moving with the folds on his cheeks with his smile, made you forget what you even said.

“I don’t think they put an age limit on that sort’a stuff.” He teased with a small chuckle, the one hand he had on the steering wheel tightening, lightly rocking forward before relaxing once more. You were confused for a moment before becoming highly aware of what ‘stuff’ Joel was talking about.

“Oh,” you said out of shock, immediately looking at your hands that rested in your lap and fidgeting with your nails, your right foot hooking behind your left and running as far up and down your calf as you could reach. “I, uh…no. Definitely not on the agenda.” You awkwardly added.

It’s not like you hadn’t thought about the parties, especially with you going to live on campus. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to have sex or engage in it, you were quite the wild young woman before Mom passed. Then the depression hit…the deep depression, the eating, the fact that you barely recognized the person in the mirror once you were able to pull yourself out of that state.

Took you five years, but you made it. Unfortunately, those lost years meant all of your friends had already gone to university or had already graduated and gotten jobs in their fields, and here you were…just beginning. With barely enough confidence to know you could, but enough to get you through the application.

Your father liked to always remind you, that you did get into MIT so…you weren’t a complete dud. A compliment from him as best as they came; you were truly just happy he stopped comparing you to tools.

But truly you had applied because of Joel. His constant playful teasing about you seeming to always wait around the house for when he would come by—which wasn’t entirely true but it was always the best part of your day. Then it became him asking what you were going to do instead, feigning concern if he stops showing up on Wednesdays and how you would manage your ‘hump days without him’.

Those jokes always left your stomach twisted and your brain scrambled. It was comments like those that had breathed life into the hope that Joel somehow wanted what you did, thought of you the way you thought of him.

Until you remembered you were the same age as his daughter, that you had met him as a teenager, that he had watched you grow up for the last decade.

That you were his best friend’s daughter. His business partner’s daughter and only child.

It could never happen, a fact you realized, and tried to always convince yourself you accepted, but it was more like an admission of defeat. There was no reason to fight for something that could not happen, something that would end in heartbreak, upset and the potential destruction of everything he and your father had built together.

And Sarah? God, even though she was used to her friends thirsting over her father, she would never accept any of them fucking him.

So any intimacy with Joel would also have you losing that as well.

You sat on those feelings as you peeked back towards Joel, who drove his truck with one arm, his other supporting him as he leaned against the truck door, absently biting his fingernails.

It was so fucked up how one look at that man made you want to throw your entire life away for a single taste.

--x--

The drive was lukewarm for a few hours until Joel felt it necessary to fill the silence again.

“How ‘bout some music?” He asked you in a way you could hear his encouraging smile, unveiling his wish to connect and engage with you and it made you sick with want and dread. You heard the click of the dial turning over to power on the stereo, static slowly fading through the speakers before you saw Joel frantically press the button to go to Bluetooth—having missed a few times before his success.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his fumble.

“Somethin’ funny?” He harmlessly barked at you as you forced yourself to shrug with indifference despite feeling your heart punch your chest from the inside with every unstable beat.

He was looking at you in that stupid way again. The one that made you forget how to function, how to move or speak or react. It left you completely frozen without fail.

You felt like you were suffocating under his gaze before he cleared his throat and tore his eyes away from you, allowing yourself to realize the feeling of suffocation was from the fact you stopped breathing—Joel was only indirectly to blame.

Feeling nervous and uneasy, you quickly connected your phone to the stereo and smashed the next button through your Spotify playlist, desperately looking for any song that you knew would immediately put you somewhere else—somewhere far away from Joel and how he was making you feel right now.

“You gonna pick one?” Joel asked you in a playfully teasing way, immediately making you more flustered, absently dragging your hoodie away from your legs to rest next to you as if to create some type of physical barrier between the two of you.

“Yeah,” you confirmed as you aggressively rushed through your songs, “I just need to fi—” Your thumb finally hovered and a light strum of a guitar drifted through the speakers as Run Away to Mars by TALK began playing and your heart immediately felt rested.

This song had been your number one for your 2021 and 2022 Wrapped Playlists for a fucking reason. It was a song that would always surround you in its rhythmic peace, encapsulating you with the resonating strums of the guitar, the coarse voice of the singer transporting you far away from any worry your mind carried.

Your eyes closed when you leaned back into your seat, just listening and getting lost, trying desperately to escape the torturous prison you found yourself in currently, stuck with your depraved and forbidden thoughts, stuck with the muse of those thoughts.

You needed to be far from here and you found that escape in the lyrics of this song, helplessly mouthing the words as the chorus played.

What if I run away to Mars?

Would you find me in the stars?

It wasn’t until you got to the last 4 seconds of silence on the track that you were brought back to the present, back to the metal box that, to your delight and dread, trapped you with Joel.

“Play it again.” He demanded his request of you before it even rolled over to the next song, and you were left shocked—both from being pulled back to this place and that Joel would wish to listen to that song again. He, however, seemed to take your silence offensively. “What? I can’t like music or somethin’?”

“No! I just...I dunno, I thought you were all Johnny Cash and old Country music.” You teased him, glancing to see him continue to watch the road yet scoff with absolute shock and suppressed amusement.

“Old...” he grumbled.

“You actually know this song?” You quickly asked him before he could say what he intended.

“Yes.” he chided you, not caring to hide his annoyance in having to prove himself to you. “I just so happen to enjoy playing the guitar on occasion so I—”

“Wait really?” You interrupted out of shock, Joel immediately scowling at the perceived tease and for disrupting whatever he was saying.

“Is that so hard to believe?” He truly barked this time, his entire face pinching with frustration as he turned to look at you and away from the road. You immediately shot your hands up in a sign of surrender before slowly using your index fingers to point back towards the empty road.

“Dad never mentioned it, is all.” You quietly defended. After a short pause, Joel just laughed as his previous demeanour seemingly melted away.

“You think I would tell your dad about that?”

“No.” You immediately answered, not even having to think about the answer. Your father, for all of his amazing qualities, was not one who ever wanted you to get into the arts. It was all Science and Math and Literature—and not even the fun books. “No, I am pretty sure that man swatted every paintbrush or impromptu microphone I ever had out of my hands.” You confirmed with a chuckle—it was old news now. You were happy with where you were heading, looking at the far future of where you would finally end up after your long journey through university.

Besides, once you were on campus and away from your dad you could do whatever or—you looked at Joel—whoever you wanted to.

Maybe it didn’t even need to wait until campus.

“Yeah,” Joel sighed and his shoulder hunched forward slightly before he gave you a quick, compassionate, glance, “Peter always said it was your mother who was better at encouraging that side.” You just nodded softly—she very much was.

“I’m sorry you never got to meet her.” You softly told him, knowing she would have adored Joel for how he has positively influenced your father and improved both of your lives. She also probably could have been the softening blow that your father needed if it ever came out the feelings and thoughts you had for his best friend…who was a few decades older than you.

“Me too…but only for your sake.” He admitted with a sigh so heavy it could sink a ship to the deepest trenches of the ocean. “Every girl deserves to grow up with a present, nurturing, mother.”

Your mouth twitched as you quickly recalled the things Sarah had shared with you about how absent her mother was, how she just left one day and never reached back, never answered any attempts of contact.

“Yeah, they do, but the lucky ones get men like you as their fathers instead.” You told him with a smile, biting the inside of your cheek in guilt that you were, once again, thinking of fucking your friend’s dad. Your dad’s best friend.

“Kind of you to say.” Joel quietly responded after a moment of silence and you couldn’t help but smile, knowing that he had truly been touched by your words, even if they were the truth—any woman would be lucky to have a man like Joel in her life, and you felt that way already.

That was also one of the many reasons that fueled your guilt for wanting more, for wanting dirty, filthy, things from him.

Unable to find the proper words to say next, fearing you would say something more than you had before, more than you should, you looked back at your phone and hit the back button enough times to get back to Run Away to Mars.

“Sing it for the people in the back.” You teased him with a smile before slouching yourself into the corner of where the seat met the frame of the truck, your ears already trained on hearing Joel’s tapping on the steering wheel over the strumming of the guitar, desperate to hear his soothing, rumbling, voice. You nearly exhaled in ecstasy as he growled the lyrics ‘...and you’re a wild, wild girl.’

What you would give to have him say those words to you...god. It felt unfair to have these feelings burden you and here you were foolish enough to believe you would have been able to survive this trip.

Yet...you were also foolishly hoping for something more to happen between you two despite the catastrophe it would cause.

“Have you listened to his other songs?” You eagerly asked as the playlist went on to its next song.

“No, actually,” Joel admitted with a slight amount of shock, but you felt blood rush through your body at sharing this with him. Immediately you dove over to your TALK playlist, hitting the play button as quickly as possible.

“It’s not all like that song, but it’s wonderful and his lyrics! God!” You exclaimed, losing yourself in your excitement and ability to finally be able to gush about this artist to someone. Joel just broadly smiled as Afraid of the Dark started playing and you put your phone in the middle of the bench seat.

“Good lyrics make or break a song.” He commented, full of an unfamiliar amused engagement as he looked at you, his eyes lingering for a moment before he looked back towards the road. It was only as he harshly cleared his throat that you reminded yourself to breathe. You almost lost it again the moment Joel started to tap along to the song against the steering wheel when the drums came in, pursing his lip as he slowly rocked his head to the beat. “Oh yeah, this is good.”

If it was physically possible to melt into a puddle on this seat it would have happened at that moment. The way he stressed the words, the grit in his expression as he became engrossed in the music. You desperately wanted those two things in very different circumstances…circumstances left for your dreams.

You almost drifted off into thought before you saw an empty water bottle shoved in front of your face.

“What the—”

“Your impromptu microphone,” Joel stated as if it was an obvious reason to have a water bottle shoved in one's face. “What? Don’t try to tell me you don’t sing to these songs.” He challenged you, a victorious smirk drawing your eye to his pronounced dimple.

“Fine.” You grumpily muttered, trying to appear annoyed despite your rampant nerves screaming at you to stop what you were doing while you sat back up.

“Let em’ hear ya.” He encouraged, reaching down to turn up the volume so that you could feel less self-conscious. Then the next song switched on and you let out a deep, sarcastic chuckle without realizing what that laugh would allude to. Joel glanced at you curiously before you began singing to Fall For You.

Although the volume of the song was loud enough that you didn’t need to worry about how well you sang, it wasn’t enough to drown out the memories of the countless times you had listened to this song with the thought of the man sitting across from you.

Thankfully an increase in volume along with the chorus brought you out of your focus on Joel and back into your carefree self—the version of you who wasn’t constantly plagued with the guilt of your desperate and painful longing to sleep with Joel.

You were so far removed from those thoughts that you broke out the air guitar solo until Joel chuckled and you felt your cheeks go crimson. With lightning-quick speed, you put the water bottle back into the cup holder.

“Best that stays there.” You reassured yourself as Joel continued to chuckle at you.

“You aren’t bad.” He tried to encourage you but you just shook your head with an unimpressed expression. There was no way he could convince you to engage in carpool karaoke again.

“I don’t do encores.” You firmly informed him, only getting another chuckle in response.

Joel turned his attention back to the road, his large hands and thick fingers continuing to drum against the leather wheel as the playlist ran through itself. You felt yourself relax, on the cusp of slumber, when you heard the organ piano chord and then the distinct guitar of the absolutely last fucking songyou needed to listen to with Joel present—How Long.

You desperately reached for your phone but Joel pulled it away from you.

“This sounds good.” He told you but you were becoming distressed.

“Joel—”

“Just go back to sleepin’.” It was always so conflicting when he told you to do something, your natural reaction was to resist yet your desire to be under the man had you wanting to give him everything he asked of you. You curled up and rested against the door, pulling your hoodie over your face in fear of what was about to happen as you got to the chorus.

How long, how long, how long

Am I gonna have to wait to tell you the truth?

You heard Joel stop drumming.

How long, how long, how long

Will I pretend that I don’t love you?

You didn’t even get past the third ‘na’ of the chorus before you heard the stereo get shut off.

“Maybe best to just enjoy the scenery,” Joel hollowly advised as you drove through nothing but empty, snow-covered fields in the dead of night.

--x--

“What do you mean you don’t have any rooms with two beds? I booked a room with two beds!” You heard Joel argue with the front desk of the motel from outside of the small entranceway.

“I’m sorry, sir, we only have rooms with king beds. You can always just book two rooms for the night…if you need that.” The clerk added the last part as his eyes drifted past Joel to look at you as you entered.

“I ain’t gonna f—” Joel cut himself off, his face twisted with tortured frustration, his tightened fist hovering over the flimsy, cheaply manufactured, desk. His eyes met yours and you could see his whole body shake as he forced his muscles to loosen from their tensed positions. “Thank you.” He bit the words to the clerk before storming past you. “Let’s go.” He grumbled and although the intensity of the interaction had you on edge, those words in such a tone shoved you over it into an endless pitfall of lust.

Joel unlocked the door but let you enter the room first, both of your eyes falling to the single bed, Joel immediately gave an unhelpful grunt of distaste at the sight while standing almost directly behind you.

“I’ll sleep on the pullout.” He told you as he walked into the room, tossing his duffle bag onto one of the chairs at the tiny table but you immediately shook your head.

“Not with that back, you aren’t.” You scolded him, raising your backpack above your head and shooting it towards the couch before Joel could sit down on it. “Claimed.” Joel glowered, the conversation at the front desk had left him short-tempered—the previous abrupt end of the last conversation between the two of you not helping matters in any way, shape, or form.

He snatched up your bag, walking it over to the bed as his eyes were locked on yours only to shove it deliberately and dramatically into the bed as if to permanently imprint it into the mattress.

“We can sleep on the far sides of the bed, there is enough space.” You countered, thinking it was a helpful middle-of-the-ground to your absolute worst-case scenario. Joel had offered to pay for the way up, you had sunk your travel funds into your friend's car that ended up still breaking down, so you had no way to complain about where you stayed. There was also no fucking way you were going to call your dad and tell him you needed to sleep in a separate room from Joel because there shouldn’t be a reason it’s tense for you two.

But, holy hell, was it suffocatingly so.

Joel stared at you, his muscles pulled into a deep scowl that demanded you not say another fucking thing, that you aren’t to make a sound, to not even think to breathe, and your body listened to every command.

“Find a place to eat, I’ll go pick it up.” He growled, slowly blinking before turning away from you to fall onto the couch, one leg stretched out, the other bent with his foot on the floor. He tilted his hat forward to cover his eyes from the bright overhead light, the sight making you sick with want.

You plopped down on the open seat and the table and went to Google Maps, searching for restaurants near you. There were always the classics: Denny’s, Cracker Barrel…Waffle House, but they were nearby and you needed some time. Alone. Quickly you scrolled and zoomed out, searching for something that looked good and wasn’t available any closer to you. Finally, you found something promising, something Joel most likely wouldn’t immediately protest, and it was thankfully just over 20 minutes away.

“Chinese?” You asked and Joel immediately just grunted.

“Just pick.” Flustered you texted him the maps link and sunk into your chair, wanting to hide, but instead the motion caused your fabric to pull back, your tights and underwear pressing against your swollen and aroused bud in such a way that it forced a small, involuntary, moan from you.

Joel tore his hat off his face and sprang up to look at you at the noise, his eyes like slits as he glared, studying you as you tried to pass off that sound as an awkwardly started cough, forcing yourself to continue to cough a few more times before looking away and sitting back up. You saw him slowly look away at his phone, his screen at a harmfully bright level before he grunted again while getting up.

“Be back.” He muttered, his tone so low it reminded you of a predator above its prey. You just walked yourself to the bathroom, worried that you would unravel before him with the suffocating horniness you felt taking over your entire being.

The slam of the door being shut was quick to come, to your great appreciation, however you still waited to hear the roar of the truck engine, the screech of his tires as you knew Joel was frustrated, there only being one reason he was this frustrated, so he would be trying to get as far away as possible from this place as quickly as he could.

As you finished that thought, you heard the roar and the screech and you were laser-focused on what you needed to do. Joel was punctual, stupidly so from all his experiences quoting out labour costs and driving time for jobs. So with 20 minutes to and from plus 5 for all the foot travel, you had enough time to give yourself the best orgasm you have ever given yourself before—you were sure anything less would leave you unsatisfied.

First, you got your backpack, opening up the large sack to reach in and grab your shirt that you had rolled around your vibrator, smiling as you revealed it and held it in your hand—countless times you had convinced yourself this was Joel’s, and after a day like today you only wished to know how it compared.

Next, you grabbed an empty waste bin, and the box of tissues from the small table and hit the lights—you always thought it weird to masturbate with the lights on. Wasting no time you sat down on the couch where Joel had been and relished in the fact that it still smelt of him.

Holding down the power button you heard the low buzz and smiled. You craved to feel it in you, you craved a lot more, and in the darkness, you could close your eyes and inhale the air around you to allow yourself to think you weren’t alone.

You could pretend that the fingers that pulled your tights over your round ass and down your thighs were much larger, coarser. That the hands pulling your legs apart, resting one foot on the coffee table was not yours.

That you sat, splayed for a single person’s view and pleasure, for the man who has so carelessly growled behind you within this very room…a sound you now used to imagine a furious and lustful growl from him the moment you first displayed yourself like this. How he would wrap his thick, muscular, arms around your large thighs, pulling them together so his head was completely buried within your voluptuous and soft skin, his lips and tongue obsessively moving and sucking against you.

Slowly you lowered your vibrator to press against your clit, a small smile spreading across your lips at the teasing sensation. ‘What’s so funny, sugar?’ You heard Joel’s voice in your head and it was too much, images and moments from today flooding into your mind with the many variations you had wanted where it ended with him touching you the way you played with yourself now.

Swiftly you pressed your vibrator into yourself, pushing past the initial tug with a deep groan of desperation and relief. ‘Shit, baby. You want it that bad?’ His voice returned, taunted and teasing—but you needed it. Fuck, you needed him so badly it broke you.

“Yes.” You answered out loud, your head rocking back as you moved the vibrator in and out of you, but it wasn’t enough. Your thumb frantically reached for a second button on your vibrator, turning on the ‘bunny ears’ that cradled and vibrated your clit. Your hips rolled at the feeling as you stuttered an inhale, you finally feeling like you were moving closer to the orgasm you craved before it quickly.

You growled out of frustration, changing your grip and curling your torso closer so that you could move the vibrator in and out of you with excessive speed and force, turning up the vibration two settings but it felt like nothing. You whimpered before pulling the vibrator out of yourself and turning it off, falling back onto the couch in defeat.

It didn’t work. You knew it was yourself, because you wanted it to be him and because you had this nagging thought that pulled at you from your head and gut that Joel would have wanted to see you like this…that if you waited for him to return, that he would take it, take you.

Maybe that thought would do.

You closed your eyes once again, turning your nose to the couch where you could still get remnants of his smoky, musky, smell, you thought of how Joel would want to watch you. ‘For me?’ The Joel in your head asked you, and you stupidly smiled into the couch cushions, your hand slowly moving down to press down on your folds, a bite to your lip as you gave a soft, shy, laugh.

“Yeah, baby, just for you.” You whispered against the fabric, your fingers digging into your cunt, still desperate and horny but you knew you couldn’t be hasty, you had to be slow, and you thankfully had the time to allow it.

Gently you dragged your padded fingers over your swollen bud, swirling and teasing, desperate for your mind to keep you in its place with Joel, desperate for it to bring you his voice. ‘Take it slow, baby girl,’ his phantom voice spoke to you, kneeling between you to softly kiss your thighs.

Slowly you rolled your hips and fell into a slow rhythm that you knew would please Joel, knew would make him happen. A small gasp of ecstasy escaped your lips as your head rocked back, your eyes fluttering closed and you lost yourself to the moment, losing track of the time, only becoming reconnected to the space around you when you found yourself, once again, on the precipice of your harbored passions being released.

Zzzt, Zzzt, Zzzt. You were sure people from outside of your room could hear you fucking yourself with your vibrator, could hear you whimper as you were desperate to cum, despaired that you failed at every attempt.

“Just let me come.” You audibly begged, whispering the plea out into the universe for some holy spirit to possess your cunt and blast it to oblivion. You pushed your muscles to move at a speed with such applied force that they screamed in protest, your body tensing, your throat tightening, the pleasure in your body placing you on the precipice of relief only to torture you with something you weren’t going to get.

Your mind a haze, having lost yourself to the chase of this, you didn’t hear the door unlock.

“Please, Joel…” You moaned, losing yourself in your lust and desperation, only to find yourself immediately when the door was slammed shut with a kick and the lights were flicked on, for Joel to see you, wide eyes and gobsmacked, spread on the couch, soaked fabric before you, vibrator roaring and deep inside of you.

It was when you locked eyes with him, when you watched his eyes look down to see what was exposed and not look away, when his whole body became flush, that you had the best orgasm you had given yourself in years. You pinched your eyes in embarrassment, grabbing a pillow to suffocate yourself with it as your legs twitched and you moaned as the deep reservoir of built up desperation emptied itself around your vibrator.

You were hit by a wall of guilt and shame shortly after. Immediately you pulled your toy from you, removed the pillow, and sat up. Joel wasn’t there anymore, but the bag of Chinese food was. Then your phone buzzed and then a text notification popped up on your lock screen. It was from Joel.

‘Getting a room.’ Your heart sank, but you knew it was for the best. You didn’t mean for him to walk in or to see…you thought you were good for the time. You tapped your phone screen to see the clock and Joel returned ten minutes earlier than he should have—he must have been driving incredibly recklessly. A separate room was probably best anyway.

‘Didn’t mean to disturb you.’ He added a line that gave you mixed feelings. Did he say that because he wished he never saw it? Or because he kept on thinking about it?

You had to get cleaned up and track him down to get him some of the food…he had to eat, but reaching out to him was a later issue you couldn’t deal with currently while being burdened by your lustful sin.

You acted on many impulses of lust and greed, abandoning your morals and judgement, truly shrouding yourself in darkness to hide in the shame of the depravity of your wants. Yet that wasn’t what weighed heaviest on your mind, or what made every breath laborious. It wasn’t even that Joel had seen, to see how he looked at you, how you reacted.

No.

It was the post-nut clarity of realizing that even if Joel had these same sinful temptations suffocating his mind, the same apple perched on your lips ready to taste, lick and bite, that you were completely wrong to tempt him into it. To even think of putting him in a position to see you like that! You knew what you were doing, deep down if you didn’t accept it or acknowledge it in the moment.

You had wanted him to see you, to walk in, to have a chance at knowing how he would react, to know if all of your stolen and secret glances from the past few years really meant something.

So why did it make you sick? Like you were a vile person, a betrayer to your father and friend?

Even more, why wasn’t that enough to stop you?

[cherubispunk]

NEPHILIM (series masterlist) - Jackson-era!Joel Miller x AFAB!Reader

summary: Joel Miller was something of a biblical figure to you. A small glimpse into the past of something archaic, untold, and harbouring on the dangerous. You liked to imagine him as one of the Nephilim. A son of god, offspring borne of a fallen angel and man. A giant of misunderstood nature. Who’s soul had been cast down on earth in punishment. His large hands had bloodshed on them, or so people had said. They whispered it quietly in the spaces between. The places he didn’t occupy often. But he was always on your mind…so there was no place for those whispers there.

a note from Lucy: biblical imagry, canibalism as a mataphor, animal imagry, joels stiff upper lip, mutual pining, two grown adults being bloody cowards!!! It's all fucking crack cocaine to me. So...enjoy two iditos in love. All parts are in chronological order.

playlist

NEPHILIM: BAMBI

w/c: 1563 | angst, fluff

summary: when does a human stop being regarded as a human…and, instead, seen as something different entirely?

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! no use of y/n but reader is referred to as ‘Bambi’, no physical description of reader apart from ‘long lashes’, brief descriptions of injury and blood, religious imagery, use of guns/ being taught to shoot, me not remembering how to shoot even though I was taught how to so there may be inaccuracies lolsies, Joel is a little bit of a dick but it’s only because he cares!

NEPHILIM

w/c: 2498 | angst, smut

summary: the disturbing comforts the disturbed.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI DARK CONTENT! no use of y/n, I tried to keep her body type as generic as possible but he might be slightly skinny coded so please let me know and I’ll change it in edits, reader is referred to as ‘Bambi’, verbally constipated Joel Miller, brief gore descriptions, heavy religious imagery and references to the bible, biblical lore, bombastic age gap!!! yahhhhh! (reader is in her 20’s/ Joel is in his late 50’s), smut, p in v sex, creampie, fingering, rough sex, possessive!joel, dom!joel/sub!reader dynamic, you know the drill with my writing, there’s probably some form of cannibalism as a metaphor, or brutal violence as a metaphor, religious imagery as a metaphor, etc. (aka, fancy word vomit)

NEPHILIM: THE FALLEN | POEM

wc: 2755 | angst, fluff?, smut

summary: fallen or damned? who's to tell when it's joel miller

Warnings: 18+ MDNI DARK CONTENT! no use of y/n, reader is referred to as ‘Bambi’, verbally constipated Joel Miller, brief gore descriptions, heavy religious imagery and references to the bible, biblical lore, yearning, idiots in love, angst angst angst!!!!!!, bombastic age gap!!! yahhhhh! (reader is in her 20’s/ Joel is in his late 50’s), smut, oral sex (m! receiving), rough oral sex, possessive!joel, dom!joel/sub!reader dynamic, you know the drill with my writing, there’s probably some form of cannibalism as a metaphor, or brutal violence as a metaphor, religious imagery as a metaphor, etc. (aka, fancy word vomit) - Lucy crying over a bloody google doc :)

[thirstyforcharacters]

Reconnection

Part 2 of the Mistakes Series

Part 1: Mistakes. Part 3: Healing

Summary: You walked away from Joel after the confrontation at Bill and Frank’s. You thought you’d never see him again. Until you did.

Warnings: angst!!!!! reader is lonely :( Joel and reader are getting better at emotions!!! mentions of canon typical violence, allusion to sexual activities, happy-ish ending

WC: 2025

Notes: soooo here is the sequel to Mistakes!! I had originally planned on only having this series be two parts, and then I thought it would be three or four, but now I’m kind of back to only doing two bc I really liked how this part ended!!! Lmk what you think about that!!

Walking out was simultaneously the best and worst thing you could’ve done for yourself. You didn’t wake up feeling unwanted. You did what you wanted when you wanted because no one was there to hover over you. You lived in the woods, trading with other people like you, dodging Infected, and killing raiders who tried to make your life more of a living hell than living on this earth already was.

But you were lonely. You missed the times you had with Joel and Tess before everything happened. You missed the feeling of having a family, even if they weren’t a great one at the end. They were the only two people you trusted, and not having that safety net was terrifying. But you made your choice and you stuck to it. On April 23rd, 2023, you left the Boston QZ and didn’t look back, not even as Joel pleaded with you to stay. Not even as you saw tears start to fill Tess’s eyes for the first and last time. Not even as you snuck through the gate and slit the FEDRA agent’s throat who tried to stop you.

For a year, you wandered. Slowly, you traveled, going from Boston down to Pennsylvania, then you made your way through the Midwest. You didn’t really have a destination, you just knew that you wanted to be as far away from Boston as you could get.

And on April 23rd, 2024, you found Jackson, Wyoming.

Well to be more specific, the residents found you.

As always, you were wandering on your own. What was snow covered terrain in the winter was now grasslands in the spring as you hiked over prairies and rolling fields, slowly approaching the Rockies to the west. At some point, you crossed a few rivers, but honestly, so much of what you traveled had blurred together at this point. It was nighttime, and you laid down to rest, setting up a small camp as always. You slept for only two hours, which wasn’t abnormal for you. But what wasn’t normal for you was to be surrounded by three people on horseback pointing rifles at you when you woke up. Immediately, you put your hands in the air. You could take three people easily if they were on the ground, but on horseback, you were at a major disadvantage.

“Who’re you?” the one in the center asked.

His accent was familiar. You searched for his face, blinking your eyes open in the dark, slowly adjusting to the low light.

“‘M Y/n. Just passing through.”

“You by yourself?” he asked again.

Your eyes widened once they were finally adjusted from the dark.

It was Tommy, Joel’s brother.

You knew him back in the day, before he ran off to join the Fireflies. He was always a bit friendlier than his older brother, despite everything he’d gone through. And he was handsome, though you had always preferred Joel in that regard.

“Tommy?”

Your voice was much more confused than you would’ve liked, but it made him stop in his tracks. He studied your face, searching for something in it until the light turned on.

“Oh, shit, you’re that Y/n! Sorry I didn’t recognize you at first, it’s been a while.”

But his gun was still pointed at you. And you knew why.

“I’m not Infected. You can check me yourselves if you want.”

You rolled up your sleeves and your pantlegs to prove a point, showing off the lack of bites and claw marks on your body.

The person on the right, a woman with dark hair jumped down from her horse. It was at that point that you noticed a dog beside them, growling at you.

“The dog will know if you’re telling the truth,” she said.

You tensed up. Despite knowing that you were clean, the large creature baring its teeth at you was still unnerving. But you allowed him to approach, and soon his growls faded as he nudged you with his nose. You couldn’t help but smile as you scratched his head, the animal giving you some comfort as you looked up at the people who were now getting off of their horses. Tommy offered you his hand and you took it, allowing him to help you off of the ground. The dark haired woman smiled at you, and the other person, a man with light brown hair and glasses looked you over.

“It’s good to see you again, Y/n. It’s been a long time,” said Tommy with a smile.

“It’s good to see you, too. Always enjoyed your company,” you responded honestly.

His smile grew a little wider, but then dropped as he asked you, “What are you doing out here by yourself? Always thought if I saw you again, it would be with Joel and Tess.”

You tensed up, and he noticed.

“Long story. Don’t have time to tell it,” you offered simply, “what about you? Still with those Fireflies?”

He chuckled, “Not exactly. I’ll show you when we get there. You can share my horse.”

Despite not seeing him in many years, you trusted him. So, ignoring the sleep that wanted to retake you, you gathered your few belongings and got on the horse, along with the two others. During the ride, you learned their names were Maria and Allen.

“Maria’s my wife,” Tommy said, beaming with pride, “we’re parents now, can you believe it?”

You smiled at them both, “Congratulations!”

But why would they want a child in a world like this?

As the sun was rising over the Wyoming mountainside, you arrived at your destination. You couldn’t help but gasp out loud at the wooden gates and stare in shock at the beautiful town sprawled out before you.

“Holy shit, Tommy!” is all you could think to say.

Tommy laughed, his eyes crinkling at the sides, “Welcome to Jackson.”

Maria smiled and said, “We’ll find a place to put you up. I’m sure you’re tired since we interrupted your sleep. We can take you on a tour in the morning.”

Suddenly, your exhaustion hit you, your eyes drooping involuntarily as a yawn escaped your lips.

“That sounds great.”

You honestly didn’t even remember falling asleep, but when you woke up to knocking at the front door of your new house, the sun was high in the sky. You yawned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you trudged through your bedroom and the rest of your house to reach the front door.

“Hey, Y/n! Feel a little better?”

Tommy was on your doorstep with a smile.

You nodded, “Still a little sleepy, but much better, thank you.”

“Good,” he said, “you ready for that tour, now?”

“Sure.”

Tommy led you through town, pointing out the important buildings: the stables, the bar, of course, and the clinic, while explaining how things worked in town.

“Oh, and since you’re capable, we’ll probably put you in the patrol rotation as soon as you’re settled in…”

But you weren’t listening anymore. The two of you approached the school, since Tommy thought maybe you could help teach there, and there you saw something you hoped you’d never see again.

Joel.

He was talking to a teenaged girl with brown hair and a bright smile. He was laughing at something she had said, his eyes twinkling with a brightness you had never seen in them before.

Blood rushed to your ears as your heart pounded in your chest. You couldn’t help the way your hands shook as adrenaline rushed through you.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to see him again.

“Y/n, you okay?” asked Tommy softly.

Joel’s head whipped around upon hearing your name. It couldn’t really be you, could it? Your hair was too long and tangled, your clothes too torn and dirty, your shoes barely staying on your feet.

But those eyes were unmistakable. They carried so much weight, even more than the last time he saw you. They were filled with fear, anger, sadness, but worst of all, loneliness. And it was his fault.

Joel never stopped blaming himself for what happened. He missed you every day, and no one, not even Tess could pull him from his misery. Ellie filled the Sarah-sized hole in his heart, but there was still a you-sized hole from the past year. And now that you were before him, he was determined to get you back.

“Y/n.”

The soft murmur of your name was enough to shake you of your stupor.

“Joel.”

You said nothing more. What else was there to say?

“Hey, Ellie, you want to come to my place? Maria’s baking cookies,” Tommy asked, giving you both a meaningful look.

“Sure! You’d better come around then, too, Joel!” the girl, Ellie, said cheerfully, seemingly oblivious to what was occurring.

“I will, Ellie. You run along now,” Joel replied, smiling softly at the retreating figures of Ellie and his brother.

Then his attention was on you. And quite frankly, you didn’t know what to do.

Joel stepped toward you, closing the gap until you were face to face with the man that had been haunting your dreams for the past year.

“Didn’t expect to see you around here,” he said.

You heard the weight his voice carried. Even if others couldn’t read the stoic man, you could. You knew him too well, even after all of this time.

“Well that makes two of us.”

The bitterness still tinging your voice makes him wince slightly.

“It’s good to see you alive,” he offered, “that you’re okay.”

“No thanks to you.”

The tone was sharp, offered no room for friendliness or forgiveness.

Joel sighed softly, running his fingers through his graying hair, “I know. I’ve thought about it every day.”

That made you pause, the anger simmering below the surface beginning to give way.

“Me too.”

You wouldn’t say that you missed him. That you dreamed about a world where the three of you were still a team. That when you felt really lonely, your fingers would slip below your waistband, still thinking of him. That you often wished desperately that you never left. But you felt like he knew.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

His smile was tight lipped and his eyes swam with the ghosts of your shared past.

“No Tess?”

Her absence was noticeable to you. In the time the three of you had worked together, you didn’t go anywhere without the others.

Joel shook his head, “Dead.”

“Raiders?”

“Infected.”

“Oh,” you gasped, “I’m sorry.”

And you were. Tess was a good friend and a strong ally. Her death was unexpected to you, and you knew Joel had to have been there to see it. You wouldn’t wish that upon your worst enemy.

He looked at the ground, breaking eye contact with you for the first time, “Losing her was hard. I had already lost you, and then I lost her. Just like Sarah.”

Joel was never one to talk about his emotions, but you had broken down that wall during your partnership. And though you didn’t let your guard down to him, here he was using a wrecking ball.

“Joel, I-” this time you ran your fingers through the tangled mess that was your hair, trying to search for something to say.

But he continued, “I know what I did to you was wrong. Shutting you out wasn’t the answer, and I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t. But maybe leaving wasn’t the best answer for me, either.”

That was the first time you had really admitted that to yourself.

“I should’ve talked to you, like this, before making a choice so rash. I’m so-”

“You don’t have to apologize. You did what you had to. You have to do what’s best for you in this world,” Joel interrupted, returning his gaze to you.

You nodded, “Well, maybe this is a chance for us to start fresh. Maybe it was meant to happen.”

The ghost of a smile appeared on his lips, “Maybe it was. Let me walk you home.”

And you did, with the feeling that you’d let him do it again and again.

[abbysthighs]

This scene is so much more emotional in the Remake. Joel really is a good dad.

[prokaryotics]

and so what if i wrote a joel miller reader insert based on the song silent earth by josephine illingworth. what then

[lionlena]

Aaaaah… I can't stop looking at this photo and I want to make another Joel AI bot….

Joel and you on your honeymoon traveling through Europe!!!💖🥰💖

[hypnotisedfireflies]

Hi Arien! Surprise self-rec time!🌷Pick 3 of your favorite things you’ve written and share them here, then put this in the inbox (anonymously or not) of your fellow writers to spread the positivity and help celebrate already written fics 💖

(if you've already gotten this from someone else, just link the post you answer in so I can check it out, please 🙏🏼)

(P.S. I think you and I share similar feelings about choosing favorites so feel free to substitute that with "3 fics you've written that have been on your mind lately)

Thank you for giving me an out, haha. I can't dabble playing favourites! 💕

The Knight of Cups

Set during selected important moments in Drifter's Dawn but through Tommy's eyes: mainly during the years Tess, Tommy and Joel travelled together in the early days of the apocalypse. I had so much fun with this - stepping out of Tess's POV, exploring stuff from a new (and maybe sometimes more honest, or unobstructed) perspective, and adding new scenes with details Tess wasn't privy to. It was my first time writing Tommy.

Spite

Tess and Joel learned to walk in Indianapolis so they could run in Boston. These are their Hunter/Raider years where they struggled most as a couple but began to really see each other, and forged the bond we later know. I still wish more of this had been in Dawn because it's so important, but I can't just add it in because of the POV changes. Anyway I am proud of the structure of this one and what it accomplished in a limited number of words.

Cordyceps: A Visual History

I hadn't written crackfic in about two decades and this came out of nowhere. A film crew documents life in Lincoln when two smugglers visit. Frank is a natural. His guests? Not so much. It's dumb, but I am proud of this one because it's just something different, silly and out of the box.

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

Yes, Pedro made the list

[luvrxbunny]

CLICK HERE BABIES

don’t ask how but this made me think of my old man

no-outbreak!joel would have a set up like this, pride himself on the luxury and take you out here for ur anniversary. he then surprises u, saying that you’ll both be out here for a week. and you try to be happy about it but… camping?? for a WEEK???

but he’s so proud of himself for the set up, he also packed you a bag with camping gear he bought for you. he’d give you a “gourmet” meal. he has a dumb smile on his face the whole weekend.

nsfw i couldn’t help myself

he insists of fucking outside the tent every night, wanting you to be able to watch the stars while he pounds into you (making u see stars hahaha)

he wakes u up w the sunrise while fingering you every morning. you’re almost sore with how much he makes u cum that weekend but he gets so turned on by making u cum that u can’t bring urself to tell him to stop.

you guys bathe in a nearby stream every afternoon. you wash each other, joel sits on a rock and you sit on his cock (HAHAHAHA)

you actually enjoy it a lot more than you expected and it turns into a yearly thing. he up’s his setup every year, impressing you over and over again.

one year for his bday you bring him there with your own little setup. it’s nowhere near as good as his but he can see the effort you put in and it makes him feel like he’s having a heart attack.

you cater to him they way he did to you; you ride him outside the tent, wake him up with a handjob every morning and when cockwarming him in the stream you make sure to keep a slow grinding pace to edge him gently, ultimately working him to a mind shattering orgasm 🤭

[itevilhag]

I KNOW THAT I HAVEN’T POSTED THE JAKE SULLY X DAUGHTER! READER FIC BUT I KINDA GOT DISTRACTED BY THIS OTHER FIC THAT CAME UP.  . . . . IT’S A JOEL MILLER X PLATONIC!READER/DAUGHTER!READER. AND IT’S ANGSTY. MAYBE. I DON’T REALLY KNOW. 

[onamentalone]

❛Earshot❜

pairings: post outbreak! Joel x fem!oc

summary: when being made partners shortly after the departure of Jess, Joel decides to confess the feelings he’s kept cooped up after Ellie spurs him on, however, she quickly lives to regret it.

warnings: implied smut, age gap, language

///

“Fuck!” Ellie yelled, loosing yet another round of rock, paper, scissors to the girl sat in the passenger seat. “You seriously suck at this.” Thea laughed, preparing for a new game.

Joel suspected that this was one of the only times that Thea had actually interacted with someone closer to her age. I mean yeah, she was still 6 years older than Ellie but it was certainly a rare occurrence to see adolescence since the rise of the cordyceps infection.

“Hey! Eyes on the map please!” Joel snapped.

Thea quickly turned around and flattened the paper map onto her lap, following previous lines in order to find their current location.

The girl stole a quick glance at Joel, one hand on the steering wheel and one resting by the window. His eyebrows furrowed and that permanent sheen of dirt across his forehead that could not be shifted despite the shower he had taken earlier at Frank and Bill’s house.

“Alright, that’s enough for today.” Joel huffed, before pulling off the side of the road, through a field, and then into a small patch of trees.

Thea opened the door almost immediately, glad to finally stretch her legs after hours of driving. Joel’s eyes wandered to the girls ass as she stepped out of the vehicle, taking a sharp inhale before doing the same.

///

“You should just make your move already, macho man.” Ellie smiled, poking her stick around in the mud.

Joel quickly shifted his sight line from Thea, who was checking the area for any signs of other life form a few acres away, back to the pot of ravioli that he was cooking.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said in a dismissive tone, knowing exactly what Ellie was referring to.

“Mhm sure, I saw you checking her out earlier.”

Not wanting to dig himself further into a hole, Joel stayed quiet. Knowing there was no excuse that he could make up that would seem plausible.

“She likes you, ya know.”

“No she doesn’t. She’s young enough to be my … daughter.”

“Have you seen the way she looks at you!? Seriously just fuck her already!”

Joel simply grunted in response, tapping a spoon against the side of the pot to indicate the food was ready.

///

“How long are we actually staying out here?” Ellie asked.

“Me ‘nd Thea take turns on watch tonight, then drive tomorrow all day, all night. Get us to Wyoming by next mornin’.”

“Can we start a fire, I’m freezing.” Ellie asked.

“Now why am I going to tell you no?” Joel replied in a slightly passive tone.

“Because infected will see the smoke?”

“No. Fungus isn’t that smart. This is too remote for infected anyway.”

“People?” Ellie said, raising her eyebrows as she spoke. “So what’re they gunna do, rob us?”

“Oh, they’ll have way more in mind that that.” Thea spoke, causing Ellie to fall quiet.

///

“Thea. Thea! Wake up!” Joel hissed into the girls ear.

She groaned before rubbing her eyes and sitting upwards.

“Time for you to take watch.” He whispered.

She could barely make his face out in the dark but she could tell he was tired. Joel grabbed both of the girls hands before pulling her up and handing her the gun.

A couple of hours had passed since Joel had woken Thea up. The girl had began to feel drowsy but she knew she had to push through the feeling. Something she couldn’t quite shake however was the extremely low temperature.

She opened one of the car doors and rifled through the unorganised supplies before coming across one of Joel’s spare jackets.

However, before she was able to put it on, a twig snapped behind the girl. She quickly turned, holding her gun and a torch up to be met by a slightly terrified Joel.

“Woah!” He said, putting up his hands. Thea lowered the gun and let out a sigh of relief.

“Jesus christ.”

“You alright?” Joel asked, softening his gaze once the girl had let her guard down.

“Yeah yeah, just … freezing.” She explained.

Joel took the gun off the girl, placing it on the floor, before he took his jacket out of the girls tight clutch and draped it around her shoulders.

“Better?” Joel asked with a smile. the girl only chuckled in return, using her hands to tug the jacket closer around her body.

“Uhm, I know something else that could warm you up…” He stated in a meek tone, taking a step closer to the girl.

“What are you implying Joel Miller?” Thea giggles.

Joel closed the car door before pushing the girl up against the vehicle. He wasted no time getting into a heated make out session with Thea, both of their jackets discarded onto the floor and their bodies tangled.

“You know I’ve liked you for a while. You are gorgeous” He whispered, disconnecting their lips for a momentary breather.

Thea couldn’t take another second without his tongue roaming her mouth, she wrapped her forearms around his neck tightly and continued the kiss. Joel immediately reciprocates, released his firm grip around the girls ass and beginning to un-button his shirt.

“Hold on, are you sure? Ellie is sleeping just over there.” She asked, worry overcoming her other emotions.

“She’s out cold, just make sure not to make too much noise.” He smirked.

They didn’t exactly stick to that pact. A few small moans and a few ‘fuck’s had escaped Thea’s mouth but other than that, they both assumed they’d gone unheard.

///

“Nice jacket.” Ellie remarked. “Things get a little heated last night?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Thea scoffed, sitting down next to the girl.

“Oh really? Because those sounds I heard last night say differently. Oh! And how could I forget the vigorous shaking of the truck?” Ellie smiled, knowing she was about to get a reaction.

Thea stayed silent, side eyeing Ellie as she watched the girl happily dissect a dead leaf.

“Oh Joel! Fuck, you’re so big!” Ellie mimicked, turning to watch Thea’s face drain of all colour.

“Look, all I’m saying is, if this is gunna become a regular occurrence, please make sure I am out of earshot!” Ellie said after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, throwing the leaf back into the floor.

“What’re you two yapping about?” Joel asked, eyebrows knitted together and his hands set on his hips.

“Oh! Only the fact that you two wer-” Thea throw a hand over Ellie’s mouth, causing the pair to tumble onto the floor. Joel only scoffed at the sight of the girls wrestling in the dirt.

[mynameisbillandimaheadcase]

|TLOU 2 PARALLELS| gasmasks

[nicolethered]

"Our luck had to run out eventually"