#tlou day 2024

[something-tofightfor]

Happy 43rd birthday, Joel Miller.

[heyitslapis]

HAPPY THE LAST OF US DAY / OUTBREAK DAY I WONT BE NORMAL FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS!!!!!!

[crossingthedreams]

"shh…" — dbf!joel miller x f!reader

masterlist | day 17 (@angstober) — shh… 

summary: what bad memories could being stuck in a closed with your situationship cause?

word count: 1.8k 

warnings: angst, mentions of smut, age gap, no outbreak!au, dbf!joel, toxic family dynamics, no use of y/n, not proofread.

What a ridiculous situation was the one in which you and Joel found yourselves. 

It all began several hours ago. Actually, truth be told, it began years ago, when your estranged, twice divorced father moved to this town in the house next to a Mr. Miller. You were already fully grown up the first time you knocked his door to tell your father invited him over for dinner, so his dear new friend could meet his dear children.

The first time you and Joel talked, you hit it off immediately. You flirted, and he flirted back. Your older sister knew instantly what was going on, and being the good ol’ chap she was,  she made excuses to get the two of you alone together. The rest is history. When you knocked on the door at Joel’s place the night after, you two went to town on each other. This had been going on for a while, even though you spent most of your time far away, not in the same place as him. 

It wasn’t quite a long distance relationship, because you didn’t even know if what you had was a relationship, but it was fun, satisfying and — as long as your father never found out — no one was getting hurt. 

Truth is, you, out of the four children your father helped create with different women, were his little princess. At the same time, ever since you grew up and realized just how toxic your dad could be, you were the one who did the most to avoid him. Still, you knew he loved and cared deeply for you. And that he, in his six foot three dad mode, would absolutely and with ease kill Joel and then eat his remains. 

Back to a several hours ago — that was when Joel picked you up from the airport and fucked you in the back of his car in a quite place at parking lot. The ride home was really fun, with lots of 90’s music playing and the two of you talking nonsense. You didn’t let your father know you were in town for the weekend, because you only had forty-eight hours, and you wanted to spend them trying out freaky positions in your situationship’s couch, bed, kitchen counter and shower. 

When you got to Joel’s place, he had just closed the door behind him and thrown your backpack to the side when you dropped to his knees and began sucking him off. He didn’t let you make him cum, choosing to practically tear through your sweatpants and eat you out before you even showered. You came one time, eyes darting to the back of your head, before he had you with one leg around his waist and making room for his big dick. 

Joel was so incredibly amazing at it you couldn’t believe your luck he decided you were the young girl he’d fuck, when he could have any chick at a bar with those arms and those eyes. You wanted this man so badly you made horrible financial decisions — such as purchasing tickets to and back from Texas for a weekend only a few days before — and even worse emotional ones. Was it wise to be in the house next to your dad’s fucking his best friend whilst he was deeply unaware? 

It didn’t matter, because he was never finding out. Unless, of course, he happened to have the key to Joel’s house, thought Joel was out of town and walked in to get a couple of beers instead of going all the way to the nearest store. 

To hide, Joel panicked and shoved you and himself inside a closet in the hallway, naked and with a very throbbing hard-on. And thus, the ridiculous situation. 

Your bare ass was pressed against Joel’s coats, as you tried to become more comfortable. Joel, fully naked, was trying not to get that close to your thighs, as his balls were already very, very blue. 

What you thought would be a five minute visit from your dad to steal some groceries and go back became a twenty something minute full scavenger hunt through Joel’s kitchen. 

“This is pathetic”, you mumbled quietly.

“Shh…”, Joel slapped, also quietly, your leg. 

You rolled your eyes at him, growing annoyed. “Did you tell him he could come by?”, you snapped, still whispering. 

“Well, no, duh”, he side eyed you, “But we do have an agreement we can take stuff from each other’s place”, you began sighing before Joel had even finished. He lifted one finger and continued, “I didn’t think he’d come this weekend!”

You just looked at him, now fully annoyed. 

“He’ll leave soon”, Joel reassured, with a move of his hand, “Just shh, ok?”

“Don’t shush me, I’m not a child”, you angrily stated, voice low, but in a quiet yell. 

“You’re his child”.

Joel’s words were a bucket of cold water. So, that was the most important part of you, even now. That you were your father’s daughter.

Much to your relief, you saw through the venetian blinds of the door that your dad was leaving with half of Joel’s food. 

Joel, as naked as the day he was born, opened quietly the door of the closet, cautious. He tiptoed out, and then motioned for you, wearing only the top part of your outfit, to leave too. 

“Where were we?”, Joel turned back and smiled at you, his hands already grabbing your butt and bringing you close to him. 

A frown took over your face and you moved away from his kiss. You shimmied out of his arms, walking towards the couch and sitting down. You probably looked ridiculous with only a jacket and no underwear or pants on, but you didn’t care. Joel let out a loud sigh before sitting next to you, his cock now only half-hard. 

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Your face turned to meet him, his brown eyes wider waiting for a reply. This was the chance for you to be honest with him about your insecurities, instead of just shoving everything aside, and give this situation a shot at becoming a real relationship. 

You didn’t even know if he wanted more than a casual thing. So, how could you share your deepest fears and feelings? It was simple, you couldn’t and wouldn’t, not until you were sure he belonged to you, and not to your father. 

“Joel”, you began. He replied with a ‘hmm?’, one hand grabbing your leg in a comforting act. 

“Am I just my dad’s kid to you?” 

He let out a small laugh, “‘Course not, baby. Otherwise I’d be over there watching the game and not here with you, right?”

“That’s not my point”, you continued. You shifted, sitting with your entire body facing his. “I don’t know if sex is something that, in your head, you do to me or with me”.

He shifted his gaze away from you, a pondering expression appearing. He then moved closer to you, eyes meeting yours again as he said, “Well, do you mean if we’re in some sorta’ commitment?”

It was your turn to scoff and avert his gaze. You looked at his living room, poorly decorated but still homey. There were pictures of his family, his brother Tommy and his wife, his daughter Sarah throughout her life on multiple occasions and even a dog. You wanted that for yourself, a lovely house with a mantle and pictures to put atop said mantle. You wanted it all with Joel, even the dog.

You hadn’t yet replied to his question, but the reason for that wasn’t your fear of rejection, but your fear of being labeled the ‘daddy issues’ girl, a part given to you multiple times. Even when you were a teenager reacting to your parents divorce in a totally healthy manner, you were labeled as scandalous. That was around the time you told everybody to fuck off, then. You wanted to talk to your older siblings or your parents, and none of them gave you space. Your dad moved and left everything behind, including you. You didn’t see him for a full year before he reappeared out of nowhere, but by them you were already depressed and your mom was drowning in bills without any child support.

Fuck them. 

You began using a fake ID to get it into clubs and parties. The drinking made things easier, too. You wanted to lose your virginity quickly, because your bad influence friends said sex was fun and you were in desperate need of some fun. So you fucked a guy in a dirty bathroom once, and it went downhill from there. The label ‘daddy issues’ and that freaking song by The Neighbourhood followed you around. 

You came back to reality, the memories fading as you found Joel’s expectant gaze. You didn’t really know him, but he had quite the reputation. He seemed kind and supportive, and you needed that too. 

The whole thing scared you to death. This situation, right now, scared you more than words could ever describe. In the couch of this lovely man you’d been fucking for months, him asking you if you wanted a relationship, which you knew you wanted, you felt the wrong words forming in your mouth, and there was nothing your brain could do to stop them. 

“No, that’s not it, Joel”, you said, shrugging, “I just want to know how involved you want me to be”. 

To quiet the voices in your head and the terrible act of self sabotage you just committed, you straddled his lap, becoming what every man wanted: a cool girl, the one who doesn’t need commitment, the one who will stay on top as long as he wants her too and do it happily. 

You felt his cock harden beneath you, his hands moving to caress the outside of your thighs. Even though his dick gave away that he was excited, he still contained himself and asked: “Are you sure, baby? We can just chill, if you want that”. 

“Where’d you learn the term chill, old man?”, you laughed, moving to begin kissing his neck. He laughed slightly, and his hands moved upwards, to try and remove your sweatshirt now. 

“I have my sources”, he said before capturing your lips. 

It felt good being with Joel. Oh, so good. Regardless, you had to yell “shh!” inside your head to quiet the voice that was screaming, telling you to say something and to be honest with him. 

[aquariusmiller]

cowboy like me

Chapter IV: Snowed In

Pairing: Jackson!Joel x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Snowed into the ski lodge, Joel and you use the time to figure out the push and pull between you.

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: flirting, romantic tension, a tiny bit of swearing, mentions of Joel and reader's pasts, not much because this is mostly good old-fashioned fluff (they are so cute in this onee), slowburn

A/N: This chapter was written for day 17 of @fluff-cember (fandom: The Last of Us). I am so excited to share this because the prompts are what inspired me to write in the first place! So I wanna thank the creator of the challenge so much for that and I hope I did well! Enjoy the fluff (with a bit of angst in the middle because I can't help myself)! :)

Taglist: @mushgloomz (love her and feel free to ask to be on the taglist!)

fluffcember masterlist | masterlist

song recs: is this love - whitesnake and begin again - taylor swift ("For the first time, what's past is past") (dividers by @cafekitsune)

Joel returns your glance and your eyes lock. The silence is full of unspoken musings. What could transpire out of this? Is your truce from the past patrols solid enough to last you for these few hours? Longer?

First to break it, you stand up and kneel in front of the red brick fireplace of the lodge, looking for leftover firewood. The lodge is getting colder as harsh gusts of the blizzard hit it. Besides, you feel like the fireplace will offer some welcome comfort. There’s not much wood, but there’s some that could work. You take a box of matches out of your jean pocket to try and light it.

Joel comes over and kneels close to you. “Let me give you a hand.”

You hand him the box of matches. He rummages through the fireplace, looking for suitable wood. He hums as he finds it, taking out a log and scraping the match against the matchbox a few times until a small flame comes to life. He lights and carefully puts the log back into the fireplace until most of the wood catches the flame, starting a small fire.

You smile as you see the fire come to life and plop down on the floor, crossing your legs in front of the fireplace. You extend your arms, warming your hands. He smiles slightly, endeared by you and follows suit.

As you sit on the floor, you scoot closer and he glances at you from the corner of his eye, wondering what you’re up to. You’re not sure if it’s Joel or you’re starved for affection, but you scoot all the way next to him, feeling warmth pooling in your stomach at the proximity. You lay your head on his broad shoulder carefully, smiling. He tenses up slightly, surprised at the contact, but before you can register it he shifts his shoulder to accommodate you.

“Comfy, are we?” He’s ribbing you, but his wide smile betrays his emotions. He’s relishing in the warmth of your touch.

You smirk. “Shut up. Your shoulder was, like, right there.”

He chuckles heartily. “Yeah? An’ you claimed it as free real estate.”

You laugh, the sound vibrating on his shoulder. Yet again, he doesn’t seem to have any intention of moving any time soon. It makes you feel giddy. You’re so close you can smell his scent. It’s... Wood, gun powder... Lavender? And his unique scent that’s become familiar to you. In the moment, you feel the urge to lean in and kiss his neck, get lost in it. No, no, too close. You refrain.

The fire is crackling against the brick as you sit in front of it in silence for a moment, watching it. It casts an orange glow at the walls close by and heaps of warmth over your cold bodies.

He seems to relax further the longer you lay there. He inhales your scent too, his breathing evening out.

“Y’know, you should feel lucky you’re getting this for free. My shoulder’s a sought out commodity.” He smirks. Back to teasing.

You smile. You think you know what he’s trying to do. “Didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, there’s a line around the block of people waitin’ for this.” He smiles cockily and murmurs as a flicker of annoyance runs past his eyes. “Mostly women.”

There it is. You smirk at his attempt at flirting. “Oh really now?”

He nods, amused at his own joke. “Ya have no idea. So don’t get too attached.”

You chuckle. “I shouldn’t get attached to laying on your shoulder? Think I can handle that.”

“Good to know. No commitment suits me just fine.” He tries not to crack a laugh. “I like to keep my options open.”

You laugh but can’t help but wonder if there’s truth to his joke.

Joel’s a very closed off man. You can sense he doesn’t want to open up fully, and commitment is a form of opening up. Not to everyone, though. You’ve been committed to guys you felt nothing for.

It felt more like a practical choice than anything else; sleeping with someone else while relying on a man for shelter would be the stupidest decision possible. It stemmed from your possessive tendencies too. You wanted those men to be only yours, so you made yourself only theirs. A clear boundary. A drawn line past which no one is allowed besides you and them.

Joel... Isn’t just a means to an end, which scares you even more. If he’s trying to tell you he’s not the commitment type, he’s not your type either.

“You sound like such a dick.” You chuckle as you joke about his claim.

He shrugs. “’M just honest.” He keeps quiet for a second, memories of losing people he used to care about passing through his mind. His voice falters a bit. “Attachment ain’t for everyone.”

You sense the melancholic tone, knowing this stems from his past. You feel slight disappointment in your gut, knowing... Joel couldn’t give you what you need. Not that you’re looking for it right now, but that tiny glimmer of hope about a “maybe” or a “someday” in the back of your mind went out.

It hasn’t been a long time knowing him. You’ll survive.

You chuckle and raise your head from his shoulder and get up, trying to play it off. “Gotta get up then. Can’t risk it.”

He turns around quickly at the loss of warmth on his shoulder, but doesn’t say anything else.

You settle on an old couch in front of the fireplace. “Ah... Comfier than the floor.”

“You’re right about that one.” He gets up too and seats himself on the couch, a pillow between you. Both of you are comfortable with the reestablished distance.

Checking out the window for the blizzard somehow stopping after around half an hour, you’re both disappointed. You turn to him. “You told me Tommy and you spend hours at the lodge on patrols.” You chuckle. “What exactly do you do?”

He smiles. “We josh around, play guitar-“

You interrupt him. Have you heard that right? Prickly, no-nonsense Joel? “No way! You play the guitar?”

He chuckles heartily. “Why’s that so surprising?”

You chuckle back. “I just... Didn’t figure you for the type to be... You know... Artistic.” You grin widely.

He smirks to himself. “I’ll have you know, back in the day, I used to play all the time. Would play for hours, annoyin’ everyone in the house.” He pauses as a wave of nostalgia hits him. “Hell, even dreamed of bein’ a singer.” He shakes his head, smiling as he remembers his teenage musings.

You smile as you listen to him intently. You know what it’s like. “I dreamed of being a singer too. Grew up in LA surrounded by it.”

He shrugs, surprised to share something like this with you. “Guess we have somethin’ in common.”

You nod and smile teasingly, turning your head to him fully. “Who would’ve thought?”

Next thing you know, you get lost in talking about your favorite artists. His favorite singer is Johnny Cash and his favorite band Pearl Jam, classics from the nineties he grew up in. He’s very surprised by your extensive music taste and yet a particular fondness for Taylor Swift. You already know he’ll use it as ammunition to tease you.

The pillow between you was moved by Joel somewhere along the conversation, and you’re both leaning your elbows on the old couch, practically jumping into each other’s sentences. Time doesn’t seem to move so slowly anymore and you feel like you could spend all the hours stuck here just... Talking to him. Looking into his hazel eyes.

He leans on the couch, his eyes glinting in the light of the fireplace, all of the shades of mossy green and light brown in full show. You get lost in them.

You realize it’s not just about the conversation. It’s about Joel’s grounding presence. You feel like nothing could shake you as long as he’s around. Usually, you’d try to bury this feeling down in the depths of you where it’s deemed unreachable, but for the moment... You let yourself feel it in full.

You get a sudden idea. “Joel?”

He turns his gaze back from the fireplace to you. “Yeah?”

You smile bashfully. “Do you have a guitar laying around here?”

He smiles slightly and shakes his head. “No... I know what you’re tryin’ to do.”

“What?” You ask playfully, acting clueless.

“I ain’t gonna play for you.” He shakes his head and raises his hands. Playing for someone seems more personal to him than you thought.

“Why not?” You chuckle and give him your best puppy eyes and a feigned pout. You don’t want to breach his boundaries, you just hope to hear a bit of his skill. “One song... Please?”

“Damn, pullin’ out the big guns.” He smirks. “Puppy dog eyes and the magic word. You’re good.”

You keep up the puppy eyed expression, hoping the long silence will make him relent.

You’re about to give up when he breaks out into a chuckle. “Fine, fine. I’ll play somethin’ for you.”

He gets up and takes the guitar out of the bedroom of the lodge, coming back to the living room. It’s a classic brown acoustic guitar, a white moth design on the fingerboard sticking out. You can tell by the way he carries it with care and the proud way he shows it off to you this one is his favorite. “Here’s my guitar. Pretty nice, huh?” He smiles at you.

You smile back. “I love it. Looks well-loved by you too.”

He nods. “Damn right. Been playing this one ever since I got back to Jackson.” He sits down on the couch with the guitar and starts tuning it, turning the pegs and strumming the individual strings, humming the tones to himself. It’s quiet, but you notice he has a husky and deep singing voice. A faint thought passes your mind; you could listen to him sing all day.

Satisfied with how the guitar is tuned, he looks up at you. “Have any requests?”

You look to the side as you think. “I don’t know... What’s your favorite one to play lately?”

He doesn’t have to think long before he settles on a song. “Ya know ‘Is This Love’ by Whitesnake?”

You shrug. A love song? Full of surprises. “Of course I do. It’s a classic.” A thought pops in and you smile. “Wait... Can you play the guitar solo?”

He smiles proudly and nods. “Damn right I can.” He prepares to play, looking down at the guitar, before he speaks. “Bear in mind, I’m a little rusty.”

You’ve never seen Joel so hesitant about anything before. You can’t help a comforting smile. “No, no, it’s alright. I can tell you’re good.”

He smiles bashfully as he starts strumming the chords of the song, humming the lyrics. The sound is rich and full, evidence of years of practice, his deep voice perfectly in tune. The melody echoes from the walls of the lodge and you find yourself mesmerized by it.

You’ve heard a lot of guitar performances, but something about this one felt special... Even as the blizzard raged on outside, you felt like only him, you and the guitar in this room existed.

“Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this the love that I've been searching for? Is this love, or am I dreaming? This must be love 'cause it's really got a hold on me A hold on me”

He plays his version of the solo and you look at his fingers moving on the guitar with awe. This was obviously practiced for hours, the classic hook sounding more soulful on an acoustic guitar. His brows are furrowed and his movement careful. You can’t help but notice... Aware of it or not, he’s trying to impress you. Warmed by the fact, you’re smiling widely.

He ends the solo and looks up at you slowly, almost as if he’s scared of your reaction.

You clap. “That was so good! Rusty, my ass!” You exclaim fervently, your impressed reaction written all over your face. You try to hold your horses and say in a softer tone. “I loved it.”

He smiles softly and shakes his head. “Ain’t that good, but thanks. Been workin’ on this for a while.”

You smile and nod. “Yeah, I can see that... You know I don’t just give out compliments.” You chuckle. “Especially not to you.”

He smirks. “And here I thought you liked me.”

You feel something sink in you as you get scared you got figured out. But he seems to be just joking. You mask your mental blunder well and grin. “Poor you.”

“Poor me indeed.” He smiles as he looks at you fondly for a moment. He clears his throat faintly and gets up from the couch to put his guitar away.

Leaning on the couch, you look at him exiting the room. You’re lying on the couch pillows on your own for a short while, the warmth of the fireplace and the winter sun going down lulling you.

You close your eyes, getting in a comfortable position for a nap. As you do, Joel comes back into the room. “Hey.” He says your name quietly.

Opening your eyes, you turn to where he’s standing with his arms crossed. “Yeah?”

You hear care in his tone. “Gettin’ sleepy now?” He grins. “You don’t gotta sleep on the couch. There’s a bedroom down the hall.”

The walk to the bedroom feels tedious, but you figure it’s probably more comfortable. You rise from the couch groggily and smile. “Thanks. I’ll be back in a bit.”

He nods as you pass him to go to the bedroom down the narrow hallway, the floorboards creaking under your step. He looks at you walking to the bedroom with a frown, but decides to keep quiet and let you.

It’s small, a big bed in it, made with white sheets and a duvet folded on the side of it. The brown plaid covered wall above it is surrounded by light wood paneling.

The sheets look very dusty, yet clean, as if this bed – surprisingly so – hasn’t been used since the outbreak. You pat some dust from the sheets before you unfold the duvet and lay down, covering yourself with it. You tuck yourself in until you feel completely wrapped up and you close your eyes.

Joel stays in the living room and you figure it’s because he doesn’t want to interrupt your nap. You like how considerate and unimposing that is. He’s giving you space, but you know he’ll be there if anything goes wrong. Not that you mind his presence, but you like knowing that, beside the closeness, you can share distance too.

You think as you turn to lay on the colder side of the pillow; no arguments this patrol without trying for it. You’re finally settling into a comfortable rhythm. You’re growing fonder of him by the day and still don’t know what to make of it. You feel powerless to stop it, not for a lack of trying.

The last thing on your mind before you drift in peaceful slumber is – for once in your life, you might just let this happen. Damn the consequences.

[renegadeknight]

the future's past

Her arm bled slowly, a red rivulet trailed toward her wrist. He checked it over and found only shallow scrapes at her elbow, until he rotated her arm and found–

“He bit you?” It was a question only because he didn’t believe his eyes were actually seeing two crescents of teeth marks marring her skin.

Rating: Mature | Words: 31.6k Major Tags: major character death(s), canon typical violence, outbreak day time loop Notes: my one and only contribution to whumptober, see notes on AO3 for more details and CWs

Chapter 1 - i've seen this film before (and i didn't like the ending)

Chapter 2 - two graves (one gun)

Chapter 3 - chalk outlines (where the future was)

Chapter 4 - out of breath (and into dust)

Chapter 5 - for once in my life (i am right on time)

[youcancallmeelle]

THE PEARL JAM ‘TEN’ ALBUM 🥺 I can’t even

[gonzo-rella]

Pride Month 2024 Masterlist

A masterlist for the fics I've written in celebration of Pride Month. Currently a WIP (as, as of writing this, Pride Month is not yet over, so neither is this series of fics).

#1 - Schitt's Creek: Being Roland and Jocelyn Schitt’s Trans/Nonbinary Kid (headcanons)

#2 - Ferris Bueller's Day Off: You’re Still You (one-shot) [genderfluid!reader; bisexual!Cameron Frye]

Cameron [Frye] has had a crush on you for years, but will your admission be enough to change that? (spoiler alert: no)

#3 - Ghosbusters: Not A Girl, Or Anything, Really (ficlet) [nonbinary!Phoebe Spengler; nonbinary!reader]

In the midst of a gender crisis, Phoebe confides in you.

#4 - Ferris Bueller's Day Off: You're Still You (one-shot) [nonbinary!reader; bisexual!Cameron Frye]

An alternative version of You're Still You, in which the reader is nonbinary.

#5 - Bridgerton: Incongruence (ficlet) [nonbinary!reader]

Amidst an identity crisis, you confide in Eloise [Bridgerton].

#6 - The Last of Us (HBO): Not Right (ficlet) [nonbinary!aroace!reader]

Ellie [Williams is] the first to know when you realise something’s not right.

#7 - Schitt's Creek: Alexis Rose, David Rose and Stevie Budd with a Nonbinary S/O (headcanons)

#8 - Malcolm in the Middle: Being the Nonbinary Wilkerson Sibling (headcanons)

#9 - Community: Being Nonbinary in the Study Group (headcanons)

#10 - Bridgerton: Love is Understanding (one-shot) [nonbinary/genderqueer!reader; pansexual!Benedict Bridgerton]

It should be simple: Benedict Bridgerton is in love with you, and you are in love with him. But, you have a secret, one that you believe threatens your chance at a happily ever after with the only man you’ve ever loved.

[bonitanightmxres]

happy valentine’s day to all my bebés who don’t have a valentine today

[our-future-is-up-to-us-2]

Instincts

Aaaaaaaaa we've got more!! Hyperfixations going fucking crazy mode @narcosfandomdiscord so we have another fic (number 14 <3)

Prompt #14, Book Of Decisions, Decisions, Decisions... Crossover for 2(+) fandoms you have used before but 2(+) characters you’ve never used or vice versa

The two fandoms used before: TLOU & The Day Of The Jackal 

The two characters never used before: David & Bianca Pullman 

Word Count: 753

Relationships: Ellie & Joel, Bianca Pullman & Joel, Bianca Pullman & Ellie

Warnings: Gun violence, character death, vaguely going through the David Incident At Silver Lake

~ Read the fic under the cut ~

Screaming, screaming, screaming! 

It’s all Bianca hears. 

She doesn’t even know why she’s here. First, off to London, then, switch to Tallinn, then, leave Vincent over there and drag her to fucking America for some anonymous case?! Someone remotely connected to The Jackal? In America? 

Are her team just idiots, all along? Do they really distrust her that much? She doesn’t understand how she got here, and why she even complied. Hidden in the snow, as she hears screams of bloody murder. 

She doesn’t even know who she’s looking for, and Bianca Pullman cares about sources, reliability. She hears the people screaming in some barnhouse, fighting it out, yelling at the top of her lungs. 

“I’ll kill you for what you did, I’ll kill you!” She hears first from a man, and her instincts tell her that she’ll maim the other. 

Until she hears exactly who the other is. 

A stranger, of course, everyone is a stranger to her in America. Silver Lake, fucking hell, she wants to leave and not just stay here, holding her fucking fire. 

But she sounds… Far too vulnerable. Far too young. Like she’s only trying to survive, like she’s the one in danger, and the man is actually insane. 

She watches as they bicker, the girl’s holding a knife, ready to attack, and he’s towering over her. 

The girl looks no older than fifteen. And the man, so much older… Bianca is not affected by much, but there’s something about it that makes her stomach turn into knots.  

One thing leads to another and a fire sets ablaze, taking everything down with it in haste. That’s when Bianca draws closer to the scene, after all, she’s not a sniper. 

And the world feels like it’s thrown into disarray, complete chaos as she sticks to the entrance of the barnhouse, and the screaming is getting louder, and the MI6 agent just has to wait. 

Waiting, waiting, waiting– 

The girl lunges for her knife, dropped in a tussle, and she’s fully prepared to kill, some savage and survivalist instinct rising inside of her. 

BANG! 

And the man, only known to her as a dead body, falls to the ground. 

The girl screams some more and drops the knife, racing for the exit. She runs straight past Bianca, doesn’t even notice her, and instead, runs towards a different man. 

This other man, rugged and wounded himself, scoops the little girl up into his arms. “It’s me, it’s me!” He’s soothing as she thrashes, “It’s me, Ellie, it’s Joel–” 

Ellie and Joel.  She locks the names into her mind and lets out a quiet sigh. 

“I didn’t–” Ellie sobs, gesturing to her face, covered with the blood that spurted from Bianca’s shot, “I didn’t even do anything, I was about to, and I wanted to, and it’s–” 

“It’s ok, babygirl…” Joel’s breathing is slow, steady, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, babygirl.” 

He carefully withdraws from their embrace and lowers her to the ground, squeezing her hand. He looks up and sees a figure, lurking by the barnhouse door. 

“Get the fuck away.” Joel tells the woman. 

Bianca shakes her head. 

“I’ll kill you, I swear.” He repeats, voice level. Ellie lets out erratic breaths, shivering behind his leg. “If you take one more step towards her, towards us–” 

“Bianca Pullman. MI6.” She says quietly, “I took the shot. Your ‘babygirl’ just had to suffer a little… Why was she even here? Did you even see how dangerous that motherfucker was?”

“Yeah.” Ellie whispers, not daring to touch her face where the blood has stained her, “Yeah. He tried to do unspeakable things to me, lady– Bianca. So don’t even try anything. He took me against my own will.” 

 Joel outstretches a hand for her to take, and the little girl doesn’t hesitate to reach for it, squeezing tight. 

“Why the fuck are you here?” The man rubs a hand over his face. “MI6… Isn’t that a British thing? The hell did they send you here for?” 

“Don’t even ask.” Bianca blinks, pocketing her gun. “Just be grateful I saved your fucking lives.” 

She treks out through the snow, supposedly following some directions she’s been given. The MI6 will protect her, she has people, contacts, back in London. They make sure that she’s safe from any given operation. 

But, Joel reminds himself, as he squeezes Ellie’s hand again, and as they walk in the opposite direction to Bianca. We’re not like that… We’re different, and all we have is each other. 

[nancylou444]

Bonus Canon LGBTQ+ Character of the Day

Ellie (The Last of Us)

[something-tofightfor]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Max (@streamonmax)

All the promises at sundown… I meant them like the rest.

I’m ready to have my heart broken all over again. They use Future Days so effectively in this trailer. They use dialogue so effectively in this trailer. It says so much without saying ANYTHING at all. I cannot wait to see this season .

[crossingthedreams]

you still don't get it — joel miller x f!reader

a/n: is this… an angstober post… on time? yeah, baby, that’s day 07 - you still don't get it on the actual 7th day! omg, i feel so grown up and put together right now. i had a very specific idea for this, and i hope y’all enjoy it. as always, feel free to hit me up on the dm’s! oh, we also have a masterlist know, hehe.

summary: sometimes, you just gotta put the ‘fun’ in ‘funeral’. and sometimes, you just have to put an end to things, even if they are with the one that makes you feel a petite mort over and over.

word count: 1.7k 

warnings: angst. unprotected p in v. pulling out (just don't, use actual contraceptives, please). oral (f receiving). mentions of death. 

Joel Miller found his way between your legs quite often, and thank God for that. Life during a fungus pandemic wasn’t really easy, and everyone had to find some pleasure in order to fight another day. For Joel, that wasn’t always sex — it could be a cigar, maybe an old stereo that played good music. As for you, during most of your life, sex was just a bargaining chip, but that all changed when you realized that, if done correctly, it was immensely fun.

But now, whenever you and Joel would meet, sex was always the number one option. The two of you found solace in each other, and, again, thank God for that. 

You weren’t religious (really, who could be during the apocalypse?), but Joel made you see Heaven. 

Everytime Joel knocked on your door, you knew you were in for a mind-blowing night. Your moans were quiet, as Jackson was a small community and any screams could be heard in the dead of night for miles. But it was hard to keep quiet as his hands and mouth kept pressing and licking you in all the right places. 

“Joel, o-oh, J-Joel”, you moaned, one hand reaching at the headboard above you and the other tugging on his graying hair. 

He had once said the best way to get to know a man, really get to know one, is to find out how he eats his girl’s pussy. According to Joel, there’s nothing worse in God’s green Earth as a man unwilling to put his mouth on what was, also according to Joel, the most perfect part of the human body. He was always so willing to eat you out, you were sure he was the most stand up guy out there. 

“Come on, baby, I know you got in ya”, he murmured, kissing your thigh, putting one of his long fingers inside of you, stretching you out and making that vision of Heaven appear before your eyes once more. His mouth reattached itself to you, going right to the money maker. 

As he licked your clit with just the right amount of pressure and movement, a second finger entered you, curling up with the first one and awakening that spot in you that made you a goner in just a second. This was your third orgasm of the night. It was ridiculous. You were dripping so much you could feel it down your ass and going straight to your freshly washed sheets. 

You were still gripping on the sheets when Joel raised himself, his large body hovering over yours. You didn’t see it, no, you kept your eyes closed. Instead, you let yourself, with those heightened senses, just feel him. His thighs against you, your body falling just a little towards him due to the pressure of his knees on the mattress, his hands on either side of your torso. His smell, mixed with your own. You felt his lips on your neck, then your cheeks, then on your mouth. Your hands instinctively flew to cup his cheeks and make the kiss deeper. 

You really hoped you weren’t falling in love with his man. He had much too much baggage, and he already had enough things to worry about, with his daughter for all effects and purposes, Ellie. He was much older, more complicated than you could ever wish for a man you were involved with. Therefore, no love. No, this couldn’t be love.

But, God, you really did fall in love with his cock.

It wasn’t bigger than you were used to, but certainly girthier. This cock made you wetter than any other, and it belonged to a man decades your senior. 

When you felt it throbbing against your leg, there was nothing to do other than to open yourself up as he slowly, oh so slowly, entered you.

You both moaned in unisson. Joel murmured your name, and you finally opened your eyes to meet his brown ones. “You’re so beautiful, baby”, he said in a low tone and began to move his hips. “So wet”, he thrusted and you moaned his name louder, hands gripping his shoulders with enough force to leave nail marks.

You crossed your legs around his waist, changing the angle to make him go deeper. Joel loved missionary and all its variations. He would never admit it, but he was a boob man through and through. The visual stimulation was really important to him, and that was proven by the fact that his eyes couldn’t leave your tits as he pounded harder and harder into you, making them bounce with every movement. You were sure your nipples were perky, too, as they always did when you felt this aroused. 

Joel was nearly drooling on your chest. 

After a few more thrusts, he grabbed your hips and turned you around, so that your ass was up in the air. You smiled against the pillows and looked over your shoulder just as he entered you again. That smirk turned into a perfect ‘o’. 

Your hips moved against him too. After all, Joel was an old man, and you couldn’t let him do all the work now, could you? 

He was manhandling you with such force you weren’t sure you’d be able to move in a way he didn’t want you to. He pushed your head back against the pillows as his body fell on top of yours, mixing up with the position once more. 

His mouth was close to your ear, and he took full advantage of that to nibble on your ear lobe. “You look so pathetic, all unraveled like this, baby.” he spoke in a whisper, his pace still punishing inside of you. “All mine, huh? All mine to ruin?”.

You shook your head yes as best you with his hand still pressing your skull into the pillows and his full body weight atop of you. 

“Nuh uh, silly girl. Need to hear you say it. Tell me, baby. Tell me who’s the one who makes you come undone, sweetheart”. 

“Y-you, Joel, hmm, it’s all you”, you half-spoke, half-moaned. 

Not to your surprise, all of his weight disappeared as he pulled out, leaving you on the bed as he finished off alone, on the side, not even bothering to cum on your tits, face, or ass like any other guy would’ve. Not even caring to let you see him cum, which sucked. 

He had started up with this new habit of pulling out and leaving right after. But not this time, no. You wouldn’t let him. 

“Come back”, you said almost purring and turned on the bed, stretching in the sexiest way you could. 

His eyes analyzed you for a long time before he approached the bed again. He didn’t sit down, instead he stood, fully naked, looking down on you at the end of your bed. He looked glorious, like a Greek deity or a model from the days before the outbreak. Did you love him? Probably not yet, but you would someday if he let you. 

You sat up on the bed, naked. Did he like your figure as much as you liked his? You were much younger than any other woman old enough for him. Some would say you were inappropriately young, but you knew they didn’t care for you or Joel beyond the gossip and the fun remarks. 

“You don’t come in me anymore”, you said, trying to look innocent and confident at the same time. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No”, he simply said, collecting his clothes. You waited for him to continue, and when you realized he wouldn’t, you kept on talking.

“You used to at least cum close to me”, you tried to crack a smile and lighten the mood, as verborragic and honest as you always were. You and Joel hardly talked about your situationship or whatever this was. “Maybe we could try something like that again, because, y’know, breeding is not just a kink and someday I really want kids and…”

“You still don’t get it, do you?”, he interrupted you, and you realized he sounded defeated more than anything else. He sighed, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “There’s no we, and there’s no future”. 

You weren’t gonna be the one to break the silence. Not this time. With him, the silence was always loud, and you felt as if it was a physical entity that put itself in-between the two of you. 

He put his head in his hands, still emanating exhaustion in every possible way. 

“I won’t have anymore kids”, his tone was harsher than ever. 

“Joel…”

“This ain’t about age, even though that sure is a problem. This isn’t about this batshit post-outbreak world, either”. 

The words unspoken were louder than anything he could have ever said. 

Sarah. 

You closed your eyes. All the future he could have had flashed before your eyes. How old would she be now? Perhaps she’d even be older than you. 

He hardly talked about her, but you picked up on a thing or too. Especially last year, on his birthday. What a horrible day that was. You now realized that Joel’s future died the day of the outbreak, at the same moment his daughter did. 

Even though it ached, the truth was clear and simple: you couldn’t sacrifice the future you could still have for Joel’s eternal mourning. You wanted more than to survive. You wanted to live. And here, in Jackson, you could actually do that. 

Your eyes were watery, but you refused to cry. In the quiet, you knew you didn't have to say it. The silence was loud, and it said enough. 

Joel stood up and looked around the room. He seemed to avoid looking at you, knowing what would happen once he did. He liked and cared for you, even if he didn’t want to. The wonderful sex was part of it, not the whole thing. His eyes finally met yours, and without saying a word, you knew what he meant. This is over, isn’t it?

Your gaze was locked with his, and your mouth was drying. Yet, you replied, without a word. Yeah, baby, yeah, it is. 

He left, and you stayed. And that was that.

[marscardigan]

begin again

joel miller x reader

summary: after ten years, you see joel again.

warnings: blood, typical tlou canon violence, mentions of death and description of gore-ish wounds

longest fic i've ever writeen! enjoy!

Present day (spring 2035)

It was another typical Tuesday for Joel at Jackson. After his mission to patrol the woods that surrounded the little city, he came back to his home, and prepared something easy to eat with Ellie.

After that, he rested for a bit in his couch, always falling asleep for twenty or thirty minutes. When it was already dark, he went to the local bar to finish the day with a good beer. Maria, his brother's wife, sat down by his side.

"Hey, Joel" The named one turned his gaze to her, leaning his back to the wall. "Are you free tomorrow morning?"

"I wanted to fix the bathroom door" that" he shrugged, "but apart from that, I guess I'm free"

"Great, because Rick rescued a group of three women this afternoon. There is one of them that volunteered for patrol, and if you could go with her to train her a bit, although she is great with the shotgun" She laughed. "That chick almost blows Tommy's head". Joel drank the rest of the beer. "Alright, tell her to be at the stable at 7"

May 2024

The air smelled like summer. You loved summer, because the infected were easier to kill with the strong heat. And also because that allowed you to have some free time from the fireflies.

You joined them five summers ago, when they found you almost dead, with a bullet dangerously close to your chest. They saved you, and you owed them. So here you were. Owing them. Cleaning the zone from clickers and infected ones. Since the apocalypse started, you were grateful for your capabilities with the shotgun, thanks to your grandfather and his love for hunting. Thanks to that and your surprising survival skills, you were one of the fireflies best huntress; which meant you worked a lot, but also gained some free time for yourself.

You were sat on the rooftop of a building, killing some time with some old book you have just stolen, when you saw two people running through the perimeter. When you were about to shoot, your walkie sounded. It was Marlene, warning you not to kill them. You scoffed, asking who they were, and she evaded the question. Without feeling satisfied, you grabbed your shotgun and followed them.

Those fuckers were good at running, because after an hour, you lost them. It wasn't until a big arm grabbed you by the neck and put a knife - too close to your liking -, that you guessed they found out.

"Oh my god" The woman smiled, murmuring your name as if it was a foreign myth. "Glad to finally meet you, you are quite de legend around here" She got closer to you, "Joel, you can let her go"

"That won't be necessary" you hissed, taking advantage of their realization to kick him right between his legs. The male fell to his knees. You grabbed back your shotgun, pointing right between her eyebrows.

"My name is Tess, and this man is Joel" She raised her arms, getting back, but without showing a single sign of panic in her gaze. "We won't hurt you if you don't hurt us"

"You can't hurt me if I open your head" You answered, with your finger caressing the trigger.

"We were looking for you, for god's sake" Joel now said annoyed, still on the ground. "Marlene told us where you were. We know her."

"Why would she-"

"Your debt with the fireflies is done" Tess cut you off. "We were here to get you out of the quarantine zone. If you want, of course"

"Or you can stay here and still kiss Marlene's ass"

"Oh, you don't want to mess with me, big boy" You laughed, looking back at Tess. “Your boyfriend should keep his mouth shut, doll.”

"He ain’t my boyfriend" Tess admitted, sighing. "We also came to make you a job offer"

You bit your lip, then lowering your arm. "Keep talking"

"We work as smugglers, and we heard how good you are with your job" Tess grabbed Joel's hand, helping him get up. "If everything we heard about you and that shotgun of yours is true, we would like you to join us"

"You pay good?" You asked. "We pay great, and our job would suit your potential." The brunette nodded. "So, what you say?"

You didn't have much of a choice. You wanted so bad to get out of here. Also, you have done smuggling for free, so what's better than getting paid for doing things you were the best at?

"I'm in"

Present day

It was uncharacteristically cold today. Joel woke up before his alarm went off, taking advantage of these ten minutes to prepare a sandwich for his patrol today. It wasn’t rare that citizens of Jackson found stray people and opened their gates to them.

He got dressed and started his way to the stables, not without before leaving a note to Ellie about him leaving for the morning.

When he arrived, he started to get his horse ready, petting shimmer for a bit. Once he finished, he waited, sitting down in a chair. Then it was seven. He light up a cigarette. Then it was seven fifteen, seven twenty… And when the clock hanged on the stable wall marked seven thirty, Joel was exasperated.

Before he could leave, Maria appeared on his eyesight.

“Sorry, Joel, he had some issues with her prosthetic leg” She then announced: “She’s ready now.”

Joel’s brows furrowed. Then you appeared on his eyesight. His gaze softened, but just for a moment, before getting his guard back up.

“Hey, big boy”

October 2024

“You missed today” A voice behind you said. “You never miss.”

You didn’t have to turn around to know it was Joel talking. You were tired and the last thing you wanted was to talk to him. “I know”

“Why? Why did you miss?”

You shrugged. “I suppose you’ll never know.”

The room fell silent again. You started to appreciate the silence after all the loudness that entered to your life for the past months.

“You knew that woman” Joel then said. You didn’t notice when he got closer to your figure. “Am I right?”

You were still quiet, focusing your eyes to the book.

“I thought I knew her” You didn’t know why you were telling him that, you just wanted him to go away. “She looked like someone I knew”

Joel sat down right next to you, still keeping a distance. He didn’t insist about it. He just fell quiet.

“Doesn’t it happen to you?” You break the silence. “Thinking someone you knew fell sick. Or killing people you knew without being aware of it because of some fucking fungus”

“I think about it all the time” He then said. His voice seemed soft, weak even. “You lost someone because of it?”

“I lost everyone” You laughed at the irony. “But, uhm…” Tears threatened to come out of your eyes. “Five years ago, I lost my sister. And it was my fault.”

“Got infected?” Joel asked. You nodded slowly with your head. “She begged me to kill her, to end her pain. I guess I couldn’t do it.” You shrugged, trying - and failing - to act indifferent about it. “So when I see an infected that looks at least a bit like her, I get scared. It doesn't happen often, and I know it’s not scientifically possible for an infected to keep-”

“I understand.”

You closed your mouth shut. It was your turn to get quiet. “I lost my daughter because of it. For this shitty pandemic. I understand”

His words made you realize lots of things, the most important one, how similar you two were. Tried to act out as dangerous and powerful, when on the inside you were just two lost and broken people, who didn’t want nor care to be fixed.

That night, something clicked between you and Joel.

Present day

Joel stood static on his position. It couldn’t be possibly you. He had to be dreaming. He had to.

“I see you two know each other” Maria chirped. “I have work to do. Don’t mess this up.”

The woman disappeared, leaving the two of you alone.

You ignored his burning gaze towards you and jumped to the horse. “Come on.” Joel tried to ignore all the thoughts that were evading his head, and started riding his horse. Once the gates of Jackson closed, he positioned the animal right next to yours.

“How did you find me?” He asked, taking advantage to see your face. You had a long scar that went all through your right cheek. And he also looked at your missing leg, now replaced with a prosthetic metal one.

“You know I am very good at my job” You simply answered. When you looked at him, the male felt cold. “Where’s Tess?”

He took a minute before answering. “She didn’t make it”

You felt bad. Although you shouldn’t, you did. Maybe it was because a tiny piece of your heart still belonged to them. Even after everything.

“Sorry” You mumbled. “Infected?”

“Uh-huh” Joel looked at your leg. “How did you make it?”

You ignored him, riding your horse faster.

February 2025

The glass snapped with the pass pf your boots. You were all bloody - thank god it wasn’t yours - and you were also exhausted. Joel followed you close.

You two had a mission around Boston, and Tess couldn’t come with you, she got shot and lost a dangerous amount of blood. “Fuck” He mumbled. “We shouldn’t have accepted it until Tess recovered.”

“Oh shut up you pussy, we can handle this just fine” Your voice said the opposite, but Joel didn’t seem to notice.

All of a sudden, a window broke right on top of you. An infected grabbed you by the shoulders, her mouth too close to your neck. Before you could even process what was happening, Joel drove the bat into the infected’s head. You moved the now corpse to the floor, standing up. “Thank you for that” You laughed. “Lord, you scared me” He said at the same time.

You grabbed your shotgun and smiled at him. He didn’t smile back, yet his lips curled the tiniest bit upwards. You tried to remember every inch of his face. After all of these months together, you started to not dislike Joel and Tess' company, even you dared to say enyoing.

It was usual to start your routine wrapped in cold sheets, only Joel's body keeping you warm. Though you must admit it was nice to lay your trust on him and allow yourself some calm in your life, your job didn't make things easier. With your strong character and Joel's stubborness, you usually ended up fighting, a lot. It wasn't a relashionship what you both had, but for you, it felt like something much more important. You let him inside your head and your heart. You told eachother every fear, every dream, every thought that occupied your minds. Your connection with him was something built with time, patience and trust.

WIth everything you learned since you were with them, there was one thing you yearned for, and yet it was something that seemed imposible. Stability. Stability and a calm life was everything you wanted. It was pretty hard to find, knowing your head had a price in half of the states. But at some misions, like the one you were right now with him, you decided to be selfilsh for a while. You decided to priorize what your heart longed for, not what your head ordered.

So here you were. With one of your legs tangled in Joel's hip. Inside a house that wasn't even yours. Both of you only wearing underwear, your mind focusing on the light sound of the rain from the outside and Joel's calm breaths. "We should get going" Me whispered, plastering soft kisses in your forehead. "Tess must be waiting for us tonight"

"We already finished the mission, Joel. I can assure you by three pm we will be with Tess again. And please, don't name another woman's name after we fucked. It doesn't feel right." Joel chuckled, getting up from the bed. "Sure thing. come on, let's go."

Once you both got dressed and grabbed your guns, you went back to the road. The soft rain turned out to be a pretty loud storm, banning you and Joel's chance to go back as fast as you would've wanted.

It turned out to be a longer journey back home than you anticipated. And by the time you entered the building where youb three were staying, you and Joel shared a worried glance. A clicker sound.

Without further explanation, you reloaded the shotgun and runned to the third floor, whereTess was supposed to be. With every step you took, a woman's shouts became more louder. You killed two runners, who heard your fast footsteps. You didn't hear - or at least denied - Joel's screams to stop and get behind him. You could only hear Tess cries. When you killed two more clickers, you started to think this was serious. Joel screamed your name again.

"Get behind me! For the love of god get the fuck behind me!"

"There's too many!" You shouted back, throwing your shotgun to the floor once it ran away from bullets, and decided to stick with a metal bat instead. "Go get Tess!" The bat found an infected head, knocking it out at the instant. "I'll cover you! NOW!"

Joel failed to look you in the eye. He just nodded to himslef, trying not to think about everything that was happening right now, and just followed your orders. He grabbed Tess as carefully as he could and started running towards the exit, you following behind.

After that, everything happened in less that a minute. Your bat ended up blending with an infected's open head, leaving you unarmed and scared. You still hitted as hard as your could the other infected bodies that seemed every second harder to get rid off. And by the time Joel was on the third floor again, almost leaving the building, a clicker jumped on your back. Tess was the first ti notice.

"Joel get back! Get back! She needs you!"

Joel denied, not stopping nor looking back, where you were shouting for help. "We need to leave"

"No! Joel!"

You never seen a clicker so close. You never noticed how behind the fungus that filled his head, you could still see a human face. Ypou could see the pain the man was in. And stil, with both of your arms holding his cheeks and shovinmg him as hard as you could, it wasn0t enough. You were going to die. You used your last string of strenght to look back. Joel and Tess were gone. They left you. He left you.

The fatigue turned to anger, and the anger turned to rage. Thanks to that rage, you succeded to grab a brick at splash it into the clicker's head, allowing you to catch a breath and try to escape. You thought you made it when a high-pitch scream left your throat. You felt how every tooth burned the flesh of your leg. Your vision was blurry from the inevitabke tears that ecaped from your eyes. Taking advantage of how the clicker was eating your muscle, you ripped the clicker's head apart, killing him in the act. Leaving you in silence. God, how you appreciated silence. The only sound that was audible were your soft cries. You laid down the cold floor and kept crying. You were going to die. With all the stimoulation that ran through your veins, you didn't hear how at the end of the hall, Joel had come back to you. But when he saw your leg, and your weak figure, he knew you wouldn't last much. He now understood, better than ever, your story with your sister. That night, Joel decided to be selfish. He decided not killing you, even if that meant you would turn into a montser.

He never told Tess the truth, thinking it would be easier for both of them to believe you died that day. A couple of minutes later, when you were alone again, you crawled to a now dead clicker, and removed the knife from its neck. You cut your own leg and with Joel's jacket you stop - or at least tried to stop - the hemorriage.

The next thing you saw was darkness.

Present day

The sun started to hide behind the mountains and the air started to grow colder. You spent all day at patrol with Joel. Even though you haven't talked much, he knew why you were here. At least, that¡s what he thought.

"Come on" He stopped his horse, not daring to lock gazes with you for more than mere seconds. "I know why you're here."

"Oh, you do?" You mocked him, turning your horse around and getting closer to him. "Then why am I here, handsome?"

"To end me" His voice was nothing more than a mere whisper. "I left you, and now you'll get your revenge"

"You're right as always" You smiled at him. "Well, at least on the abadnonement thing. That was rough, even for you, asshole. But I'm not here to kill you. I don't blame you for what happened."

"When I found out you had been staying at Jackson for two years. I got jealous. You got what I wanted. A calm life." You shrugged. "I came here to have that, even if it means seeing you everyday, I just want some peace. I had enough violence."

Joel went quiet. Until his voice cracked. "Maybe we could begin again."

To begin again. To be gifted with another chance. To welcome him in your life again. Your voice sounded soft and yet cold when you murmured. "Yeah, maybe we could."

[pedropascal24-7]

New poster for S2 to celebrate TLOU Day 2024

[pedrospatch]

jealous

Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader

summary: You aren't together, but Joel doesn't want to see you with anyone else.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. asshole Joel, jealous Joel, he softens up a bit though. established dynamic, Joel and reader have known each other for a decade.

word count: 2k

a/n: highkey i recycled this idea from myself b/c jealous Joel is like...so hot to me. i love this trope, my favorite variant is when he gets aggressively possessive however i don't think i can top some of the amazing fics out there that have gone that direction so i took a softer, fluffier approach to it. also, happy tlou finale day everyone, we'll get through it all together 💗

Jackson, Wyoming

Winter 2024

“Before you head out for patrol, I just wanted to say that I had a great time with you last night.”

Joel’s blood boiled hot in each and every single vein in his entire body as he watched the scene that was unfolding before him just outside of the horse stables. It was late in the evening, and Tommy’s group was gearing up to head out for tonight’s patrol.

You had just finished saddling up your borrowed horse, Daisy, when Owen had sauntered up to you. Joel didn’t know the man, aside from his name. He had been placed in Owen’s patrol group once or twice in the past several months since returning to Jackson, but for the most part, he’d never spoken more than two words to him, and even when he had, it was only when he really didn’t have a choice. Though he didn’t know Owen, one thing was for damn fucking sure—he didn’t like the way that he was looking at you.

And he definitely didn’t like the way that you were looking at him, either.

In the decade that he’d known you, Joel had never seen you lay your eyes on another man before, not until this very moment.

And it was bothering the fucking shit out of him.

“Yeah, I had a really nice time too,” You replied, flashing him a warm and friendly smile. It was in your nature to be sweet and kind to just about anyone you felt you could trust, that was nothing out of the ordinary, but seeing you interact so effortlessly with him only made Joel’s anger bubble even hotter.

Owen reached out to take your hand in his and Joel angrily clenched his fists the moment he touched you. “We should do it again sometime. Maybe on a night when you’re not stuck with patrol duty?” he suggested.

You nodded, smiling once again. “Sure, I’d really like that.”

Joel couldn’t fucking take it anymore.

He was mere seconds away from losing his goddamn mind. Though he had every desire to go up to Owen, snatched his hand away from yours and give him a piece of his mind, Joel had to remind himself that the last thing he needed to do was cause any kind of trouble in the settlement—Maria wouldn’t have any of that in her community, even if he was her husband’s brother.

After taking a minute to somewhat calm himself enough to a point where he knew he wouldn’t throw a punch, he stiffly walked towards the two of you, calling your name. “Hate to interrupt,” he practically sneered, “But we’re startin’ to lose our time. Tommy’s waitin’ for us at the gate.”

Owen grinned sheepishly, squeezing your hand. “Sorry about that, Miller. I didn’t mean to keep your patrol partner, here.”

Ignoring him, Joel narrowed his dark brown eyes at you. “Get on the horse and let’s fuckin’ go. Now.”

Your smile faded, your mouth falling open slightly in shock at his tone.

Though you knew Joel had always been rough around the edges with other people, he’d never spoken to you like that before. For a brief moment, it almost felt like he’d just slapped you across the face.

Without waiting for your response, he whirled around on the heel of his leather boot in the snow and stalked off towards his waiting stallion, his rifle hanging over his shoulder.

Owen frowned, letting go of your hand. “Jeez. What’s his deal?”

“I don’t know.” Your voice wavered slightly. “But I’m certainly going to find out.”

After bidding a quick goodbye to Owen, you quickly walked over to Joel just before he could climb up into the saddle of his horse.

“Excuse me, but what the fucking hell was that?” You asked fiercely as you approached him. 

With his back still to you, he rigidly replied, “What was what?”

“Get on the horse and let’s fucking go. Now,” You mimicked him, crossing your arms over your chest. “How dare you fucking talk to me like that! What’s your fucking problem?”

He remained silent.

“Joel?” You waited for a moment, but still, he said nothing. “Hello? Joel, I’m talking to you! Answer me!”

Slowly, he turned around to face you. His eyes had gone stone cold.

You’d seen him give those eyes to others before, but he had never given them to you.

“In case you’ve forgotten, we have a lot of work to do around here. Tommy and Maria expect both of us to pull our fuckin’ weight if we want to stay here. You understand that?”

“But Joel—”

“We don’t have time for you to stand around flirtin’ with your little boyfriend over there and wastin’ time.”

Despite being angry, you could have laughed—you almost did.

Not wanting to add fuel to the fire, you managed to hold it back.

“First of all, we’re not fucking teenagers, Joel, so cut that shit out,” You said, letting your arms drop back down to your sides. “I hardly know Owen. We met at the Tipsy Bison last night, we had a few drinks and we were just telling each other that we had a good time, that’s all.”

Joel snorted, rolling his eyes. “Well, ain’t that fuckin’ sweet.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, taken aback by his behavior.

“You know, if I didn’t know any better, Joel Miller, I would say that you were jealous or something,” You accused him. You felt a shiver go up and down the length of your spine. It was hard to tell if it was because of the frigid, negative degree temperatures outside—or was it due to the fact that there was actually a possibility that the man you had been helplessly in love with for almost ten years now was bothered by the idea of you being with someone else?

He scoffed in response. “Don’t fuckin’ flatter yourself, sweetheart. I ain’t jealous.”

“Then why the hell are you so upset?”

“I ain’t upset, either.”

“Okay, then why else would you be acting like such a damn asshole towards me?” You challenged him, causing his jaw to clench tightly. “If you’re not jealous, then why do you look like you’re fucking ready to murder Owen with your bare hands?”

Joel groaned out of frustration. “Jesus, can you just fuckin’ drop it? We have to leave before Tommy—”

You reached out and grabbed his arm. “We’re not going anywhere until we talk this out, Joel. I need to know what’s going on with you. Please. Just fucking talk to me.”

He snatched his arm out of your grasp and took a step back. “What the fuck do you want me to say? That you’re absolutely right? That I’m fuckin’ jealous? That the second I saw that prick take your hand, it took every single ounce of strength I had inside me not to walk over and knock his fuckin’ head off his shoulders?”

You exhaled the shaky breath you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding back. “Joel, you have no fucking right to be jealous. You know how I feel about you, you have always known how I fucking feel about you. But you were the one who told me that we couldn’t be together, that we could never be together.” Your voice began to tremble, and you paused for a brief moment, trying to collect yourself. “You’re the one who said that we’d never be anything more than smuggling partners. Even after everything that’s happened with us, what we’ve been through with Ellie—you still keep me at arm’s length, now more than ever before.”

“So you finally found somebody else,” he stated, bitterly. “That it? You tryin’ to move on from me?”

“Yes. No.” You let out a small groan, knowing that if there was one thing you could not do, it was lie to Joel. “Yes, okay? I’ve been trying to fucking move on from you.”

Joel’s stomach sank at your admission. “And he’s the guy, huh?”

“Owen is a nice guy. And I really liked spending time with him—” You looked up at him, seeing the hurt flash in his eyes. “I’ve been so fucking lonely, alright?” You continued quickly before he could say anything. “You’ve been avoiding me for months now, Joel. Ever since we came back to Jackson, things have changed. Do you think I haven’t noticed that we only ever talk when we’re sent out on patrol together? That we don’t eat our meals together anymore like we used to? That whenever I even try and approach you, you make up some excuse to leave, even when we’re in our own fucking house?” Hot, frustrated tears blurred your vision. Not wanting to cry, you furiously blinked them back. “Ellie asked me the other day if something was wrong with us. Even she notices the way you’ve been treating me these last few months, Joel. How you avoid me like I’m the fucking plague.”

Joel opened his mouth to speak, but then clamped it shut, not knowing what to say.

“You can’t be upset with me for trying to move on, not when you’re the one who’s been pushing me away—and I don’t just mean here in Jackson. For ten fucking years you’ve been pushing me away, Joel.” Your voice cracked, and a tear finally gave way and slipped down the side of your face.

His expression suddenly softened. “I had to push you away, darlin’.”

You subconsciously stepped closer to him. “But why?”

“Because, what I felt—what I’ve been feelin’ for you, it’s somethin’ that I didn’t think I could feel for someone ever again. It’s so strong and runs so fuckin’ deep that it scares the shit out of me,” Joel confessed, a trembling edge to his tone. “Before Wyoming, it was so fuckin’ easy not to think about it. We were too busy fightin’ to survive, to protect Ellie—now that we’re here and every goddamn day isn’t a fight for survival, things changed, alright? What I feel for you runs through my mind all fuckin’ day. There ain’t no avoidin’ it.”

“Joel—”

He cut you off. “I never meant to hurt you. When we got here, I thought it’d be best to put some distance between us. I thought that maybe if I spent less time with you, what I feel would just go away somehow. But I was wrong. Wrong and stupid to think that what I’ve been feelin’ for ten fuckin’ years would just disappear.”

“What do you feel for me, Joel?” You whispered, looking up at him.

Your eyes widened in a slight surprise as Joel reached up and gently cupped your cheek in the palm of his gloved hand. He put his other hand on your hip and pulled you as close as he possibly could to him. He looked deeply into your eyes as your arms wrapped themselves tightly around his neck. Joel leaned down into you, and the both of you stood absolutely still, each waiting for the other to make the final move. 

Finally, it was Joel who closed the remaining distance between you and him.

He softly pressed his lips to yours. Any and all hesitation that he might have had before vanished completely as you parted your lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss. 

“That,” he said breathlessly once he’d pulled away, “Is what I feel for you.”

“Never thought I’d see the fucking day,” You murmured against his lips, a tiny, joking smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

Joel leaned his forehead against yours and sighed, his warm breath tickling your nose. “Look darlin’, m’real sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. It’s just that seein’ you with that prick, the thought of you with him, or with any other man that ain’t me, I just couldn’t fuckin’ handle it.” He paused briefly, taking a look around. Part of him hoped Owen was still around and watching his every move. “I’m gonna have to find a way to make sure every man in Jackson knows you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” You assured him, gently. “Believe me. You are the only man that I could ever want. I’m all yours, Joel.”