#i love my friends but god is it sooo lonely
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haichengtual ¡ 30 days ago
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the seasonal terrors are setting in how ever shall i cope
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angeltism ¡ 1 year ago
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platonic pining feels so damn weird
#➳ the fool speaks#like ohhhh look at meeeeee wanting to be friends w somebun sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo badly that it's kinda making me look stupid#i've never rlly felt this way . like any pining i've experienced . was romantic . but this#i think it's worse because i have the mindset (of which i am trying to get rid of) that romantic love > platonic love and therefore it's#like . ohh . look at uu . being all EMBARRASSING . over what . wanting somebun to be uur friend . over wanting to be close with someone#in a way that DOESN'T include mashing uur faces together to make out passionately ??????? lmao what the fuck#AND ISN'T FRIENDSHIP EASIER TO . MAKE HAPPEN IDK . THAN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS ?????? i don't think i'm supposed to be thinking abt it THIS#much like . isn't it sooo easy to make friends. isn't it . aha . but here i am barely able to hold a convo but ig i'm just Like That eueueu#this is so WEIRD n uu can't rlly force such a strong platonic connection like . that isn't how that works that isn't how any relationship#works but like . it's like . EUHFHUIDHUFJBHSHDH ????????????????? i am SUFFERING oh my GOD what the HELL#it's so . like a crush . but it isn't . so my hyperro brain is CONFUSED and my lonely ass is STARVING for any kind of closeness this is so#WEIRD TO BE DEALING WITHHHHHHHH#god and how long have i been feeling like this#on and off for a few months#that might be longer than most crushes i've had too ? wow . what the ufck is this what is happening i am so confused i feel so WEIRD#unholy screeching ensues
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luveline ¡ 9 months ago
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could i request spencer x bombshell!reader where maybe spencer and the team meet reader’s ex boyfriend / a guy she used to be interested in and he’s sooo different from spencer so he assumes her flirting is a joke but really she never had a type until she met spencer n now she’s only into nerdy, sweater-vest wearing sweethearts <3
love ur work sm i only read spencer fics but i read all your characters bc the writing is so intoxicating !!
thank you for your request angel! <3 1k, fem
Spencer looks adorable today. You’re not sure if he knows, but that can be easily rectified. 
“Spencer Reid,” you say sternly. 
He’s immediately wide-eyed and sorry. “What?” he asks, pouting. 
“You have some explaining to do.” You glare, taking your compact from your pocket. You open it, check your appearance, fighting a huge smile as you flick the mirror on him accusingly. “So, what do you have to say for yourself?” 
“I don’t get it.” His eyes jump between the mirror and you. “Sorry?” 
“You should be sorry. Do you see how nice you look today?” He rolls his eyes. “Hey, don’t act like you don’t know what I mean.”
You and Spencer have known each other for years now, and you love him. You’d die for him easily in the field, and out of it too, but you’re not together and he’s bad at accepting compliments, so he shrugs you off like you’re only teasing him. 
“My handsome partner,” you say. Even if he isn’t your boyfriend, that’s your loophole. You and Spencer get paired for everything these days, because you’re best friends and Hotch has given up on separating you (though professionally there’s no need). “I could eat you.” 
“Still mildly threatening, then,” a voice says. 
You spin in your chair, shocked and a little horrified to find the last person you wanted to see here in Connecticut. “Cory!” you say, knowing he’ll believe you’re enthusiasm if nobody else. 
“Hi, beautiful. You weren’t gonna call me?” 
Your lips pop as you reply, “I was definitely going to, just as soon as we weren’t on the clock. How are you?” you ask, standing to receive the hug you know he’s going to give. 
Cory is… well, he’s gorgeous, though that hadn’t been why you had fun with him when you were here last. He’d seemed nice enough and plainly interested in you at the time, and you’d been sort of lonely, so really he was a necessity of the soul rather than a want. Plus, he was very rich. 
Gorgeous he may be, but Spencer Reid he is not. You don’t deny it to yourself —the genius behind you has completely changed your type, the kind of man you vy after, and if you’re honest, he’s the one for you. So hugging Cory and pretending you’re going to call him for drinks after the case is over isn’t easy. You lie rather than reject him.
“He seemed nice,” Spencer says in the awkward silence Cory leaves behind. 
“Sure!” you say, blowing out a hot breath. “Was I embarrassing myself? I didn’t expect to see him.” 
“You were the same as usual.” 
You tilt your head back as the door opens again, worried it’ll be Cory back for a last word. Emily smiles at you knowingly, a bag of takeout in hand. “God, did you see that?” she asks, eyebrows rising. “He was perfect.” 
“If you like the Greek god motif,” you joke. 
Spencer’s frowning at his files when you turn back to him. “Spence, what’s wrong?” you ask. 
“Mm? Nothing.”
“You sure?” you ask. 
He maintains that he’s okay as the rest of the team flood in for lunch. You pretend to believe him, not sure what you’ve done to upset him but willing to figure it out. You unwrap his food for him and place his plastic cutlery on a napkin as you know he prefers, sorting through the cup drinks to find his diet lemonade. “Here, handsome,” you say, touching his shoulder gently as you sit down next to him. 
He bristles. 
“Spencer?” you ask. 
He looks around the table. Hotch and Rossi are talking about something with shared smiles, while JJ and Morgan debate the case. Emily’s on her phone with a straw between her lips. They aren’t listening, and so he says, “It’s not a fitting nickname.” 
“What, handsome? That’s not a nickname, it’s a pet name, and it’s true. You’re one of the most handsome guys I’ve ever seen,” —you laugh and grab his elbow when he shakes his head— “are you kidding? Spencer, you could be a model. I’ve told you this a hundred times. You have amazing cheekbones, just dreamy, and your lips–”
“Oh, god, please don’t start,” he says, covering his face with both hands. He sounds like he’s smiling. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” 
Hotch shoots you a don’t tease look. You send him a vehement I’m not back, waiting for him to look away before you prod Spencer again. “You’re so cute, Spencer, you don’t get it.” 
“I don’t wanna be cute, cute isn’t your type–”
Your eyes flare. “What would you know about my type, Spencer? Is this– is this about Cory?” 
“Of course it is,” he says, face pink as he drops his hands. 
“Spencer, he is not my type.” 
“But you dated.”
“One date. And that was before I realised I liked dorks in sweater vests,” you say. You’re both acting like this is half a joke, a skit, in case you’re overheard, but you’re also both well aware that it’s serious and vulnerable and flustering to confess certain things right here and now. Too bad it has to be done. “I miss your glasses, babe, they really added to your charm.” 
Spencer shakes his head, picking up his styrofoam boxed lunch to ignore you. 
You sidle close to him, your pinky finger rubbing the slightest hint of his bare wrist. “Wanna get drinks with me tonight? I need a cover story in case Grecian Cory tracks me down. And, you know you get that really cute blush when you drink. What do you say?” 
“No,” he says with a smile, which means yes in this instance.
You kiss his cheek, giggling at the lipgloss left behind. “You’re my type, handsome.”
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joicecubes ¡ 3 months ago
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this started as a twitter post but it got way too long
i feel. INSANE. ABOUT FIDDLESTAN YOU GUYS. i’ll admit i didn’t get it at first, like the original concept seems kinda bonkers, they never interact! what a silly rarepair! BUT NO. I SAW A SINGLE PIECE OF FANART AND IT WAS OVER FOR ME. IM HOOKED. im sorry i need to talk about them
my favorite set-up for fiddlestan, and the one i see most people going with, is the idea that fiddleford comes back to ford’s house after ford’s already been sucked through the portal, so he finds stan instead. and thats like such perfect/devastating (depending on how you look at it) timing because their wounds from ford are both so raw.
i feel like this is gonna get long so. gay rambling under the cut
on the one hand, they get from each other what they never got from ford. or at least, what they lost from ford. fiddleford wants love, he wants his unwavering devotion to ford to be reciprocated. and stan, being such a deeply lonely person, can give him that! what he wants is companionship. he wants a friend, like what he had in his brother. he wants forgiveness. and god, fiddleford is one of the kindest, most forgiving characters in the show. if anyone will see where stan is coming from, if anyone can extend forgiveness and understanding where ford fell flat, it’s fiddleford.
and while this exemplifies just how deeply they would need each other in this scenario, when you think about how tightly they both clung to ford, there presents a very real possibility that one or both of them would feel like ford’s replacement.
stan is ford’s twin. people have played with the idea that fiddleford would see a lot ford in stan, even though they may not be very similar in demeanor. they look the same. and deep down, they do have similarities. alex hirsch said in a dvd commentary that there is more of ford in stan than he even realizes, and fiddleford would probably see that. not to mention just how deeply he would miss him.
and when stan has always felt like a worse version of ford, you can imagine he might feel like a stand-in, especially as him and fiddleford get closer. fiddleford, whether he means to or not, would definitely see his best friend in stan. he has his face for god’s sake!! and would stan just accept it? would he be upset to be seen in this light, to act as a replacement, or would he accept that he’ll always be second to ford? either way is just. DEVASTATING. for fiddleford to unintentionally confirm all of stan’s deepest fears and insecurities…
and then there’s what fiddleford is to stan. while i don’t think fiddleford would feel as deeply a replacement as stan does, he IS a big fucking nerd. and stan probably begged him for help getting ford back when he found out that fiddleford is not only a scientist, but worked on the portal in the first place. and he of course wants ford back too, but it wouldn’t surprise me if fiddleford ends up feeling like stan only keeps him around for that purpose and that purpose alone. to learn more about ford, to live vicariously through him as ford’s best friend. because stan is desperate to know more about him, to satiate this need, this wound of missing his brother for over a decade.
god and all the little things too… fiddleford being riddled with anxiety and stan being able to ground him, to knock some much-needed sense into him the next time he wants to pick up that memory gun. stan struggling to take care of himself, to see his own self worth, and fiddleford being there to make sure he eats enough food, reminds him to shower, helps wash or cut his unkempt hair. falling asleep holding each other, because they need that comfort, that warmth, that heartbeat, to feel okay enough to rest.
ugh you could do sooo much with these bitches it drives me up the wall. i feel so unwell just thinking about them. i could yap even more but i’ll keep that for another post
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bokutoasavillain ¡ 10 months ago
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Hello! Could you recommend your favorite System fanfictions?
I have put this off for so long bc I have so many that I love and making a list that big seemed terrifying but I love sharing fanfics so here’s my best attempt <3
Bingqiu:
Tale Within A Tale
Rated T, It is so good!! The concept is so clever and it is such a satisfying read<33
it's you I find like a ghost in my mind
Rated M, a great identity reveal with a lot of dreamsharing
Treading Well-Worn Paths
Rated T, post-canon sqq turns into a kid and yqy and lbh look after him. I cannot tell you how I love this. The characterization, the dynamics, the identity reveal are all so perfect. Everything progresses so naturally and it is so good. The ending is a bit bittersweet and honestly it’s so fitting and just read this it’s perfect
We Are Not Wise
Rated T, in an au where cultivators draw their swords from their souls, sj takes in sy (a bit of blackmailing included). Sy and lbh are both disciples and soulmates. The focus is more on the relationship between sy and sj and it’s probably one of my favorite ways their relationship is portrayed. It is heavier on the angst and I was crying. It is so beautiful <33
The Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known
Rated T, such a sweet and lighthearted post-canon truth spell fic <33
side effects may include indefinite photosensitivity
This is a three part series taking place post-canon. It’s about relationship development and also character development bc these two are so so young and have so much time to still grow. It is so sweet and also has some genderqueer bingqiu (as a treat)
Also one of my favorite quotes ever that still makes me cry to this day:
“I think I am mourning something that never existed to begin with,” […]“I think I am the thing that never existed to begin with.” (It’s in the third fic)
lonely little heartbeat
Rated E, lbh reverse transmigrates at 15 (I don’t want to spoil it but it’s great)
colored bright green
Rated T, Binghe also transmigrates to pidw and finds out he’s not the only one! It’s a slow burn and so sweet
Now Entering Incognito Mode!
Rated E, sqq flees cqms while lbh is in the abyss and he meets a mysterious young lady, I don’t want to spoil this it is soooo good!!!
I'll make the world safe and sound for you
Rated M, babytrapping (kinda?) its sweet and beautiful
go with the flow
Rated T, no plot just sweet post-canon husbands
End Racism in the OTW -- Infinite First Dates
Rated M, set during the five years sqq is dead, a lot of dream sharing. It’s really fun and lovely and just perfect <33
Type Casting
Rated E, oh god this one is soooo good!! What if sqqs mushroom body was that of a woman? And what if he didn’t remember his death?? And what if he himself assigned himself the role of the female lead bc well she’s a woman now so she obviously has to marry lbh right? Right???
Also sqqs inner monologue is so perfect and so good!!!!
I love this one so much pleeeeaase read it!!
the adventure of tiny bing
Rated E, tiny bingbing!! They’re friends and husbands and silly your honor
Error 404: Shizun Not Found?
Rated M, such a unique concept done so well
Promise Me Your Heart
Rated T, such a sweet and so underrated fic! I love it so much it fills me with all the mushy sweet feelings and it’s so tender and romantic and just sooo sweet <33
We’ll Meet While Rain is Falling
Rated E, amnesia that gets fixed by you guessed it papapa!! (It’s really sweet and tender)
Size Empress
Rated E, genderqueer sqq has a dream and well it progresses really well
Benign Deviations
Rated M, Bingge and Bingmei switch places and it’s amazing
shallow water weather
Rated T, MERMAID BINGQIU!! It’s so good (also anything my nyoomerr is amazing so read them all)
continued
Rated T, this one is really hard to describe so just go and read it it’s so fun and hilarious
To Boil a Frog
Rated M, the narrator in this one is so good and fun and overall it’s great
a gentler lesson
Rated T, KISSES!! SOO MANY KISSES!!!!
I (immortal, M) think I might be developing feelings for my roommate (27M). Help!!!
Rated M, so stupid so good just what it says in the title
A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler Walk Into the Bamboo House
Rated T, I just really love this one! Definitely so worth reading (I might have read it twice)
open my lungs to let you in
Rated T, also one I’ve reread a few times
Can't we just skip to the end?
Rated E, time travel baby! This and the sequels are so good!!
night of yearning
Rated E, lbh gets selective amnesia, this absolutely destroyed my soul
As to Me, As to You
Rated T, such an amazing concept with so much potential for future shenanigans and overall so satisfying
right from the start, I gave you my heart
Rated T, sqq is under an obedience curse when the jinlan reunion happens what could possibly go wrong?
Cumplane:
slow dance with you
Rated T, Kissies<33
I've got $400 and a really bad idea
Rated T, fake dating hehehe
Cumplane Summary Archive
Rated T, Outsider pov and overall hilarious
huddle for warmth
Rated G, so sweet and funny
Bros before... well everything I guess
Rated T, theyre a family <33
Moshang:
The Pen is Mightier
Rated E, Mbj seducing his husband <33
speak your mind
Rated T, sweet and touch starved
technically our marriage is saved
Rated T, so fun
Cold Hands, Warm Heart
Rated T, this is so good! It destroyed me emotionally and just ugh. My notes after reading it: „My chest hurt and oh my god this is perfect and painful and beautiful“
A Child Once
Rated T, post-canon sqh gets deaged and it’s really good
retrograde
Rated T, amnesia and misunderstandings work out
maine nazaron se tujhe chu liya
Rated M, soulmate marks and a bit of mystery (kinda)
If Not You
Rated E, fuck or die and it’s really good. I stayed up reading this until I could not see properly and I was dizzy
Ok this is it! I went through all my bookmarks for this and it took me the entire day. I hope you enjoy and if you ever need anything specific I can probably find it for you<3
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devourers-of-god ¡ 9 months ago
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Hello again! As I understand it, applications are still open aha... I hope I haven't tormented you (sorry, I'm just wildly delighted with your work, and there are too many ideas in my head)
In general... it seems to me that it is quite difficult for Sally to open up to people, despite the fact that he is a very kind boy. It seems to me that he may be shocked by excessive tactility and emotionality
So, what about an overly active f!reader who likes to hold hands with friends, and hugs at a meeting, and kisses on the cheeks (sorry, this is literally me, and at the same time all my friends are not particularly tactile, aha ...). I was thinking that the reader might like Sal... how do you think he would react? And yes, it can be either fan fiction or headcannons, whatever you want aha. I will read everything with pleasure!!!
HI!! thank you SO much for the compliments, you are the sweetest! You are SO right about Sal D: ANS ALSO you do not torment me !!!! the requests are slow these days and im sooo happy you're taking the time to ask me stuff !I will do a one shot for this lololsorry this took a while to write, I had exams, school and work :P BUTTT I got my drivers licence LOLLL okep thanks for your request!!! and if you ever have more ideas, it will be my pleasure to try and portray your ideas with my writing!
SAL X OVERLY AFFECTIONATE READER
Warnings: None, fluff ? u guys are not dating lololol
Type: Oneshot
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Oneshot -
Everyone described you with few words; bubbly, a social butterfly and VERY affectionate. You were not shy to pour your heart out to someone when needed, but you also were the first one to help a friend in need.
You always thought that being this touchy and nice to people was just common manners, until you be friended Sal Fisher.
Sal Fisher was an interesting individual, his everyday life was affected by years of torment explained by his flashbacks. He wasted a lot of his youth because Sal was isolating himself, not talking to anyone, not even his father. Even though his ''beloved'' father wasn't trying to help him to begin with. Though, this caused the young boy to develop an awkwardness to someone's touch and Sally could not properly explain to someone how he felt, he couldn't quite put words on his true feelings. Being touched, brushed or even just the thought of all this, made Sal feel something he couldn't even express. Sal was hollow, basically a shell of a human.
You luckily moved to Nockfell, the infamous town that your family wanted to move in so bad. You and your family landed in the Addison's apartments, there you met the tall Larry Jonhson. It was easy to get along with this guy anyway, you found yourself very lucky that day because the metalhead introduced you to Sal Fisher. You two will eventually end up together, but you don't know that yet.
For you, it was love at first sight. You Immediately complimented the way Sal presented himself. Basically showering him with compliments, especially his mask and hair. It wasn't your fault that you're this friendly, its the usual y/n. Sal Fisher felt almost claustrophobic by your gestures, weirdly appreciated that. You were not aware but this boy is secretly craving compliments, being this lonely for this long had affected the poor boy.
As the weeks passed, you and the blue haired boy hung out often, which made you delighted. You two were eating lunch together while the others had an art project to complete. Mr. Fisher and you were discussing when suddenly Sal made you laugh, your reflexes got the best of you and pushed him gently. Sal smiled to himself as his face turned crimson. ''God you are so funny, you need to stop my cheeks are hurting!!'' You confessed as you chuckled lightly. ''Pretty sure my name is Sal ,y/n'' your crush responded. You punched his shoulder gently, just as a way of saying to shut it. You knew that Sal was not introduced properly to your love language, but luckily you asked his closest friends about all of this. They approved to you that the masked boy isn't disturbed by it. It motivated you to not hide your true self, since your upcoming boyfriend is fond of it.
In an instant, the bell rang. You got up quickly and held Sal's hand to make sure he's following. You didn't want to lose him in the crowded halls right? Or did you just want an excuse to hold his hand? Sal figured this out but never told you.
Arrived to his locker, you were so happy that day and your nature took over suddenly, you peeked a small kiss on the cheek of Sal's prosthetic. '' See ya Sal! Goodluck with your math test-'' You yelled out as you escaped. You were proud of yourself too, you really liked Sal and the only way to show it is with affection and physical touch. You could not believe you actually did that. The next class felt like it was the longest ever, the school system was seperating you from your future lover.
Meanwhile, Sal's train of thoughts was going faster than usual. He froze in place for a good 5 minutes with his face hotter than when he had the flu. He thought to himself that you might like him, but Sal reasoned himself after saying that you probably do that to everyone. He wasn't so special, he thought. Normally, affecting gestures are not welcome for Sal Fisher, but you stood out. He actually felt great in your embrace. Even though he's not quick enough to hug back sometimes, he melts every time.
''Man I know you like her, you don't even let us touch you dude.'' Larry said after Sal reported everything of today. Sal closed his locker door a bit louder than he should've.
''Fuck off Larry. She's just different I guess.'' Sal retorted, what's left of his face turned a tint of pink, ballet pink to be exact. Sal thought to himself that he was pleased that the school day finally ended, they could finally go home and play som- Sal's thoughts were cut off by you hugging Sal as a way of greeting. He felt his legs soften beneath him. Sal's heart skipped various beats. '' Hi Sal!! Oh hi Larry! What are you guys up to after school?'' You smiled wildly as you got closer to Sal, which made him shiver. Larry started to smirk in a more of an evil way ''Oh I'm actually busy tonight but I know that Sal wanted to hang out with you y/n'' Sal bumped into him ''accidentally''.
Your cheeks flushed as you looked away ''I would love to! My parents are picking me up today so- text me okay?'' You ended your sentence with a small wink directed to Sal. You quickly left to go in your guardian's car. Suddenly you didn't feel like walking like everyone else, you were so happy you skipped your way to the car. Sal's jaw was hanging since Larry opened his ''dumb mouth'' as Sal would say.
''Youre welcome my man!'' Larry chuckled.
'' Get lost.''
HELLO!! hope you liked it :) I don't know why, im less satisfied with this.. if there's anything you guys think I should add please feel free to share your thoughts with me!! Per usual, stay safe and MY REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN!!!! its currently almost 1 am lawd goodnight friends :) P-S: we're almost at 150 followers!!!!!! very exciting :DDDD thank you!!
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kuromochimi ¡ 2 years ago
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Cuffing Season
Nagi Seishiro, Barou Shouei, Kunigami Rensuke
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• MINORS DNI • MINORS DNI • MINORS DNI •
the big boy song has been STUCK AND I MEAN STUCK in my head for days now, and I’ve been wanting to write for blue lock since I started watching the anime.. so have some blue lock big boys scenarios.
CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP AND ARE PRO PLAYERS IN THESE SCENARIOS. THEY ARE ALL 20+
Content Warnings: f!reader, NSFW, smut, dry humping, kissing/making out, fluff?, cuddling, slight exhibitionism, unprotected sex, fwb, mutual masturbation, lmk if I missed any
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Nagi Seishiro
It felt warm and snuggly… and awfully heavy? Your cozy slumber was disturbed by the sudden weight you felt on your chest. Not enough to suffocate you, but definitely enough to cause discomfort, and you knew immediately who the culprit was. “Sei, move over. You’re sooo heavy” you tried to speak as best as you could while sleep still enveloped your entire body. “Come on baby, just a little. It’s getting cold” and he further snuggled into your body, moving up a little so that he could bury his head into the crevice between your neck and your shoulders. You surrendered. Was this the random guy you slept with at a Christmas party last week all because you complained that you were feeling lonely and you were both drunk enough to fuck at a storage closet? Yes. Was this also the guy who was surprisingly persistent on not only sleeping together but also hanging out and you always agreed to come with him because it was the holiday season and you didn’t want to feel lonely? Also yes. Your haywire thoughts were cut short when he started kissing up your neck, all the way to your jaw. His kisses were soft, gentle, and warming. He loved kissing you everywhere but he knew where you liked it best. “Stop teasing, sei, come up. I want it here”
With groggy eyes, nagi looked up at you as soon as he heard you speak. You were so sexy with your sleepy voice. He found you biting your lower lip, already anticipating his lips to unlock your own. “Course baby, I got you” without a single breath to spare, he moved himself up to level his face with yours and he all too suddenly, but gently, locked his lips with yours, not waiting a single moment before he pushed his tongue into your mouth like he hasn’t already done it countless times before in the week’s time you’ve known him. His huge hands were gripping your thighs, pulling you ridiculously closer to him, almost grinding your clothed pussy against his crotch, all while you were heavily making out and losing breath over your mutual refusal to pull away from each other. You were getting too wet. Just as the thought of going all way popped up in your head, the loud alarm of your phone resonated all over the room. You remembered setting it to wake you up in time to clean your place up before your parents came to visit. It was utter panic in your head. “Sei, we can’t.” You trued pushing him away “fuck I want to, but my parents are on their way right about- fuck.. stop grinding” he clicks his tongue before getting up to grab his clothes, strewn all over your bedroom floor. “Fine, but you’re going to have to make it up to me. Such a hassle. Making me leave with a fucking boner” he was mumbling while putting his clothes on. You couldn’t help but giggle a little at how cute he was acting, like he didn’t almost just fuck you stupid had the circumstances allowed him to.
Barou Shouei
Months into your friends with benefits set up with barou, you found that he had a habit of grunting A LOT in his sleep. And to be honest, you’d normally complain about it if it were any other person. But god does he sound so fucking sexy like that. His deep, rough voice just becomes a hundred times more attractive when he’s sleepy. At first, you found it embarrassing to admit that his grunts sometimes turned you on. But you immediately caved and told him when you just couldn’t stop yourself that one time during winter. “Shouhei” you gently nudged him awake after you barely just got out of his tight embrace. He wasn’t a light sleeper but whenever you’d wake him up under such circumstances, he already knew what you were going to ask for. “Didn’t I fuck you enough a couple hours ago, hm?” His eyes were still closed as he spoke. He’s right. In fact, you were still a tad sore but you were also dripping wet right now. “Just.. just keep talking, shou, like.. like that” your words were spoken in broken breaths, and he didn’t have to look to know what you were doing. He could hear the sheets rustle and the all too familiar sound of your sleep shorts and panties being pulled down and it was all he needed. “Acting so slutty and it’s barely even dawn. How are you so insatiable? Fine, get off with my voice, won’t you? Use me to make yourself cum” no more words came from you. Only whimpers and moans and the squelching of your fingers plunging in and out of your pussy. “Fuck that’s so hot” it took a while for you to notice that he too, was touching himself. He was grunting again, but not because of sleep but because he was fucking into his fist while listening to you moan his name over and over while you took care of your own pleasure.
Kunigami Rensuke
It felt both awkward and surreal to be snuggled into kunigami’s chest while a movie was playing in the background. Yes, it was only background noise at this point as you were too busy humping your childhood friend turned.. situationship or whatever the hell you two had. He had his arms wrapped around your body as you straddled him. Your body was tucked into his warm embrace while your hips moved to grind your clothed core against his hard dick which he had already pulled out from his sweats. “Ren, we have to stop” you whimpered into his ear while still grinding against his hard, exposed, leaking cock. You wanted to let him fuck you so bad but unfortunately, your sister, who also happens to be your roommate, was already asleep in the room right across the couch where you were currently at and all she knew was that kunigami was nothing more than that kid from across the street. The kid you always claimed to be nothing but your friend. Yeah right, you thought. Friends definitely don’t fuck. Especially not ones with as much of a history as you and kunigami did. He bucked his hips up, grazing against you clit, making you release the moan you’ve been trying so hard to stifle for the past whatever minutes you’ve been humping your “friend”. “I can’t stop, princess. Too good. Too fucking good, can I cum?” Your eyes widened, unsure if it was safe to let him cum on the couch. What if he cums all over and messes up the couch and then your sister would find out about what you’ve been doing with kunigami during your “movie nights”. “No, ren you can’t make a mess- Cum inside me!” you almost moaned again. “Okay fuck you’re so hot, so good f’ me” he pulled your sleep shorts and underwear to the side before abruptly shoving his cock into your pussy before he came inside without a single thought except the pleasure you were giving him.
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Finally! My first ever blue lock work <3
This was written on a whim but it’s been a while since I’ve had the motivation to write and I was so surprised with how quick I finished this. Didn’t even have to make a draft bc I straight up wrote and posted it in one go 😵‍💫 Hopefully blue lock gives me my writing motivation again..
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dozing-marshmallow ¡ 1 year ago
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~VISITING CHRIS MCLEAN IN JAIL~
(Months in his sentence.)
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It was quite scary, walking down the aisle of inmates. You made sure to stick close to the guard escorting you to Chris’ cell. The place reeked of alcohol and sweaty bodies, flaming your nostrils, making you solely rely on your mouth for breathing. So much rubbish was thrown between floors, loud chattering from other prisoners bursted the air. Walking down, you heard too many lewd comments passing about you. 
Yikes...
Further down, you could recognise Chris’ laughter.
”How has he been doing?”
The guard thought it better to show you.
There he was. Your favourite man in tangerine.
Rather than metal bars, he was behind transparency. Isolation?...
God, he was meant to be a prisoner, not have his ravishing lifestyle still concur because he happened to have money. His wealth was as self absorbed as he was, needing to radiate everywhere, even in a time where it was simply not enough to save him. In comparison to the single bed and toilet most imprisoned busybodies were limited to, for starters, there on his wall was four portraits, two of them being of the island, one being himself, the other one being the wedding day. That may have been the most selfless act he’s done yet. We then have his toy statues of himself, you and Chef on his shelf, too self promoting to be part of the utilities of the prison...and two rolls of toilet paper. Some prisoners are lucky to even get one.
He was sitting at the edge of his flat bed, looking shallow, but when he saw you, oh man, did he get excited.
”(Y/N)!” He yelled, jumping up and onto the glass that separated you. His hands pressed onto the door and saliva already slipped out his mouth at the sight of you,”(Y/N)... You...You actually came...to see me!”
”Hey Chris...” it was so uncanny to see him without that necklace,“How are you? I have a present for you!” you marginally lift the sealed box to him... Well, half sealed since it had to be checked first. The look on those officers’ faces... You would never forget it. It was bizarre, yes, but it was allowed.
”Presents!” his excitement overflown,“You know I love presents, nothing without them! Give me, give me, give me!”
”Uh...” you saw the slot was too small for your box.
“What’s the matter? Can’t find the right pair?”
The guard that assisted you kindly took the gift and handed it to him via cautiously opening the door. Chris didn’t have any intention to assault anyone, for his mind was too preoccupied with glee as he hurriedly went to open it, only to be greeted by anarchy.
”Larry?”
”Yeah...” you beam sadly, catching sight of Larry’s green head, peering curiously out from the box,“They were able to make him shrink and I knew you were lonely in here. I would visit you everyday if I could, but the rules state that if I did, it could mean your sentence would have to double.”
“Bummer. Thooough I wouldn’t wanna stay in here any longer than I need to! For whatever stupid reason. Now that I have my best friend in the whole world! Even though I told you to take care of him...” there he goes with that glare.
Not even a damn thank you,”Sorry Chris... But it’s better I give him back to you before the environment protection crew cleansed him too much. And I don’t know how I could take care of Larry.... Besides, he would be more happy with you than with me.”
”You’re forgiven, my absolute darling!” He set Larry down on his table before returning back to the door,”Sooo, what’s new with you? It feels like it’s been ages since we had any quality time together!”
“Erm... I’ve been better...” doubt weighed your words; it was hard to keep eye contact with your husband when his eyes were endlessly wide. Not knowing what else to do, you stupidly return the question.
“Good, good...” he hums, tapping his fingers rhythmically on the glass,“How’s Chef? Dead or something?”
“Chris!” You exclaim. Your husband always had some sadism, but most of the time, it was out of humour. Disturbingly, it was almost like Chef’s death was something he wanted,”How could you suggest something so horrible so casually? Especially on your friend?”
He shrugged,”What can I say? He hasn’t come see me in a while. Or maybe he has, but I just can’t see him because he’s like a ghost. Do you reckon he could float through this glass like how they do in the movies?”
“No... Thankfully, not.” you decide to leave out Chef rejecting your offer to accompany you in visiting Chris that day,“Chef’s been...busy.”
“Busy? Busy dying?” you hysterically shake your head,“Huh...” his eyes trail off to the side, slightly relaxing,“Have you ever realised that we slowly die everyday?”
You shudder. Death was such a lighthouse for Chris to ingest. Here though? Where everyday was the same thing, with a mere minute feeling like an hour? You knew this couldn’t be good for him,“Stop talking like that... You know that’s not how you really feel.”
He raises an eyebrow,“Oh, but what if it is? I no longer fear the deaths of the people I supposedly care about.”
“Is that right?” Supposedly? You were heartbroken.
“Oh! But I still love you. A lotttttt. Trust me!” His sight quickly returns back to you, springing a large smile on his face. There was something strange about it, but you fought that thought by giving a reciprocal.
“I...love you too.” why was it so hard to say it back?
“Really? Really... Really!” He places his hands whole back on the glass, going completely quiet as he stared at you. Just staring. You would’ve thought he spaced out, but his eyes were well aware of your being, standing before him, patient. Eventually, he starts speaking again with a soft tone,”Ohh...I can’t wait...to sleep in my own cottage again with you...to touch your hair...to touch you...”
Don’t dream about it so soon...,“Me too Chris... I... The bed feels so empty without you.”
“I have a solution for that!” he chimes. Whenever Chris is this inspired, you know it’s not gonna be nice,“Why don’t you do something unreasonable and end up in here with me? After all, I did nothing wrong to be here! I blame all those people who can’t take a joke nor know how to mind their business! All my accusers were nothing but absurd! It’s not my fault the island ended up the way it did! Besides, it was totally worth the ratings! Genius, am I right?”
Still thinking like a host, are we Chris?,“I-I’m good... I don’t think they would let us be bunkmates anyway, especially if you’re in...solitary confinement.”
“Oh yeah? Even if I threw up a thousand big ones for them?“ he scoffs,“Suit yourself. I guess I’m gonna have to continue pretending that my pillow is you. Your fault too.”
“What...” he’s not joking as well. That struck a nerve,“How is it my fault you chose to sell the island to that toxic waste company?”
“Come on!” his face stretches like it’s common sense,“No one could have expected something like that to happen! It was a complete fluke! No one can be blamed for that, especially not me!”
Of course he was going to make himself the victim: he’s worn nothing but orange for the past few months, couldn’t live by his own agenda and was constantly surrounded by people. Poor little Christian, the tragedy king, hasn’t life been hard on him,“That’s the thing though, isn’t it, Chris? The island was your stewardship and it was your decision to sell it to them. The only person to blame is-“
With the slam of his hand, a wobbly echo of glass emits through your body, leaving your words untied,“Don’t you scold me! You‘re the one that came to visit me, and I know I didn’t sign up to hear you forcing the blame on me for something that was out of my hands! It was out of my estimations, okay? Ugh!”
It took a lot to keep it together. This is exactly why you could never communicate properly with him. Why couldn’t he just slim his ego and accept that jail was his fault for once?! No one else was going to serve jail for him, maybe Chef was right in avoiding Chris,“Fine whatever, have it your way.” you glance down at your wrist, where the watch Chris asked you to keep safe for him buckled,“It seems that my visiting time is up anyway.”
“Aw, seriously? You just got here!” he huffs, magically getting over the heat of the argument,“Could you promise to bring some chocolate next time you visit? It'd be a reaaaaaaally great birthday gift.”
That’s right, it is coming up soon. You nod,“I’ll have to make sure it’s fine with the police officers first, but I’m sure they’ll allow it.”
He’s certain of it,"Course it'll be! They'd allow me to keep portraits in here, but not chocolate? Barbaric!" Certainty. His hamartia.
“Hah, that’s true.” first time in ages you both found something to agree on,“Well... Take care, Chris. I’ll be on my way now.” You turn on your heel and would have accelerated, had it not been for the man in question’s interesting choice of parting words.
“No kiss? Boooooo.”
You twirl back around, trying to figure out the best way to break it down to him,“We... We can’t-“
A disgusted sigh of his plagues your sentence,“I’m not a bird, (Y/N). Tweet tweet! I can tell there’s glass here. Erm...” he was in the spotlight of improvising, which he’s lived through dozens of times,“Let's do this..." he puts his fingers up to his lips and on removal, he whistled an exhale.
On cue, you hold up a hand and clench it like you had caught it, and done the same. Chris shook from exultation on process, the orange clothing his body clothing his mind in that moment.
"Awesome! See, she still does love me! (Y/N) could never abandon me." for a minute, his voice swooned with profound romance that you founded with him once upon a time. He turns away to the side and smiles, the lovey dovey flying away,"What will happen when our hostess comes next? Will I still be behind bars? Will I get to eat chocolate bars? All the answers soon to be revealed, right here on Total...Drama...Island!”
You take that as your cue to leave. He had gone to another world. Man made. Chris had never done stuff like that before... 
"Hey kitty, what about my kiss? Big Randy over here would like one too." Randy or one of the other prisoners tried coaxing you a few steps in on your exit of the institution of criminals, lust painted all over his oily face.
"Eugh." you stick a finger to your gagging mouth to the stranger prisoner's distaste.
The inhale of the outside air was all the cure you needed from the red-blooded fumes of that place.
Talking to the wall... Would it really be okay to let Chris back on the streets like that? Was prison even a good place for rehabilitation? On one hand, yes, it was about time Chris had felt the weight of his crimes, but on the other hand, was forcing it down his throat the best way to get him to willingly amend?
You won’t be surprised if after his release, he went on to joyfully add onto his record, which was kind of unfortunate- he was your husband. 
And you want him to come home.
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xxventiswindblumexx ¡ 2 years ago
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Venti/Barbatos x follower fem reader!
Much like my Smut Soulmate I was nervous for this release since I mainly have scara Simps on here but since they're posting I'm posting! We post together 🥺❤👫
Here's to good fan fiction! 🍷
@hitomisuzuya
⚠Warnings⚠:God complex,superiority kink, corruption, venti being himself, pervert stuff, praise kink, breeding kink, mentions of Alcohol because ya know venti.
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Barbatos, the Archon of Freedom, holder of the Ameno Vision and the weakest Archon according to those who do not live in Mondstadt. It doesn't matter what they say however, to you he is all you need, to believe in, to love, to feel protected. You're a nun in the Favonius Cathedral, ever since you were young you've dedicated your life to preserve, protect and to teach everything Barbatos was about.
You lived among another named Barbara, she's the Deaconess, she is older but not by much. However you've noticed she's been neglecting her dutys, only slightly not something an average person would notice. She seems to be infatuated with the Traveller, sure he is interesting but he didn't peek your interest as much as a certain bard that seemed to follow him occasionally. Unaware of the bards true identity of course you tried to stray from temptation, barely speaking to him unless he speaks first which surprisingly happens often.
The bard known as Venti often runs right up to you first thing whenever the traveller enters the church. You of course speak to him, after all even with your crush on the male it would be rather rude and ungodly to ignore him, not that you would want to anyways.
The bard often talks about anything that comes on his mind it seems, things such as if you tried wine or if you really lived in the church all day and night. Yes you've tried wine, only communal wine however, nothing compared to what the bard had drank in his nights at the winery. How do you know? He often came to the church doors late at night crying out to see you in his drunken state, slurring words and being very touchy. You of course always opened the doors as it was your job to help those in need and even with his constant self destructive habits, he's still someone who needs help. It's unknown rather the bard had a home or family so he usually slept in a pew on those nights, and on the other times he isn't drunk you aren't sure where he goes, though the traveller assures you he's fine.
Today was like many others, quiet and peaceful as you could see the sun's rays shining in through the large windows and the sound of the wind blowing gently outside. That morning Barbara informed you that she would be out for the next week, it was rather strange, she's never left the church that long, however she assured you it was just to spend time with family, with her older sister Jean. So you would be alone to care for the Cathedral which wasn't too hard, not a whole lot happens really.
Around noon the traveller came to the church asking for Barbara, you unfortunately had to inform the man that she was out for a week. He took it well and decided to leave however his bard friend seemed to not notice. After Aether left Venti as usual ran to you and started off on his usual conversations.
"So Y/N, are you really alone for a week? Like by yourself? I can imagine it'll be sooo lonely huh" He said in a slight teasing voice as you was both sat at a pew. "Yes, I'll be on my own however I have all I need for company, the winds Lord Barbatos bestowed upon the city is enough company and comfort" You replied knowing he was probably going to try to stay around, in a fantasy sure you would like him to stay.. and maybe do other th- No! You cannot think this way, this is sinful and will distract you from your purpose. Shaking her head some as you cleared your thoughts you noticed Venti as leaning over, his hand reaching up to your face, you move away some "What are you doing Venti?"you asked with a sigh as he giggled " your face is all red, what could be going through your mind? Nothing dirty I hope~! " he teased as you didn't notice. In embarrassment you stood up sighing "Venti I must ask you to leave as I need to clean the pews and return to my duties, maybe another time we can chat about something related to the church" you said to him with a bit of sass as he only smirked as he got up "Oh sure, I'll definitely be coming back to talk about Lord Barbatos~" he teased before leaving.
Later that night as you was already settled into your bed in the back of the Cathedral you started to close your eyes when you heard the all too familiar sound of someone knocking and banging against the large doors of the church. You thought about not even bothering with it being that your alone but after a few minutes the banging continued along with faint whining, sighing you got up in your silk robes and headed towards the front. You wore white beautiful sleeping robes, no they weren't see through, at least not unless gotten wet but if you remember correctly it's not supposed to rain so no worried right?
Just before you get to the door you hear a loud thunder strike! You looked at the windows and noticed the very heavy downpour, just as you were going to grumble about your outfit you heard the banging and ran to the door, almost forgot he was out there.
Unlocking and opening the large doors you see Venti, crumbled onto the stairs, his clothes soaking wet as he looked up at you pitifully "Y/N~ you took sooo long to get the door today... I'm all wet now.. " he whined, you couldn't help but to feel bad for the boy. After all it doesn't rain often here and definitely never stormed this bad in awhile. You reach down to help him up but only to pull you into the rain too. Great just what you needed, not even thinking on how translucent your outfit must be you're more focused on getting the drunken bard inside, helping him up and inside the church, the doors closing behind you. It's then now that you're soaking wet you noticed how cold the main Hall with the pews get at night, you decided he couldn't sleep here, he would catch a cold or worse. You walk him to the back where your room was, of course you couldn't sleep in the same bed so you where already thinking on taking Barbaras room, she wouldn't mind.
You set him down and start looking in your dresser for something wearable for him, of course after you already given him a towel to at least warm up with.
However the whole time you're digging through your clothes you could feel his eyes staring at you, almost forgetting your what used to be a pretty silk nightgown is now see through thanks to the rain. "Can you not stare so hard Venti? I'm trying to find something for you to wear" you say, not able to look at him in embarrassment.
He shakes his head a smile tugging on his lips as he leans in closer "No, it's just that you're so adorable.. you know that don't you? I'd love to hold you in my arms" the bard slurred as he was right up against you, you could feel his chest, did.. did he take his wet clothes off already??
You turn to face him to see he was only in boxers, your eyes couldn't help but betray you, looking at his body and especially the ever growing tent in his underwear.
"V-Venti! Why are yo-" Before you could argue he placed a finger over your lips, his eyes glowed as marking appeared on to his body, it was then when you could see him for who he was, as Lord Barbatos.
"Didn't I tell you earlier? I would come back to talk, of course it would be a bit selfish since it is about me~" He giggled as he was pressed against you, you could feel him poking you, these feelings of arousal was familiar but not all too familiar, yes you had a life of abstinence but you're human and of course would have those thoughts occasionally.
"Speechless? Not surprising, after all you are meeting the very Archon you've been worshiping all your life, tell me Y/N, do you want to please your Archon? To be my little follower? " he said with lust laced heavily in his voice. His tone was soft but filled with desire and want, you wanted him to kiss you so bad right now.
"L-Lord Barbatos... " you mumbled unable to form words, he let out a low groan at the name, it's been ages since he's been called by his true name, it only serves to intensify his lust. "Yes call me that more, your Lord, your Archon~" his soft lips crashing into yours, his hands was quick to pull the wet nightgown off, he didn't want you to get a cold now would he?
Your body felt hot to his touch, you felt sparks go off in your body whenever his hands moved across them, yet you didn't resist it, why should you? He is your Archon, all these years serving him, unaware he was always there, in plain sight.
He pushed you onto the bed, hovering over you, he is so pretty, his eyes.. his glowing tattoos, his face and everything, he truly was an Archon, your Archon.
You shiver under his gaze as you felt himself moving his mouth against your collarbone, your head feeling dizzy as he bites you harshly as you whimper slightly. A soft moan leaves your lips as he moves lower kissing and sucking on your neck, you gasp a bit in surprise, his hands wander over your body as he presses his chest against yours and you both feel heat spread through your bodies, a small whimper escaping your lips as his hands continue their path downwards, to your core.
It doesn't take long for him to find what he was looking for, his hands begin to push your hips upwards, wanting to feel the sensation of skin on skin between the two of you, you whimper once more, feeling a small nip on your neck as he begins to suck on it, you feel yourself arching your back as he continues to work his magic on you, you feel yourself becoming wetter and wetter, you could feel your legs shaking as you tried to keep yourself still, you could feel his fingers slipping inside you to feel the warmth inside you, it was exciting. Moaning out his name and whimpering for more "Ssshhh... I knew you'd like this~, just give me a moment, my muse" he said as his kisses made their way to your stomach, moving up your torso slowly. You moan quietly, your hands gripping his hair gently as your body trembles uncontrollably.
His slender fingers made quick work of you, it didn't take long for you get close already, moaning, whimpering and begging "My Lord, Barbatos please~! " but of course just before you could release he slipped his fingers out, giggling. He's still the same bard you met, a teasing man.
Before you could retaliate you felt his member press into you, whining as tears flowed, the Archon sympathized with you, whiping your tears as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as he pushed further until he was fully into you.
As he began to move, it wasn't the pain that shocked you so much as the pleasure that made you tremble and let out moans, it was intoxicating really, the sensation was so overwhelming, he thrust harder as he held you tighter as you bucked underneath him, crying out as you gripped his shoulders, you couldn't seem to hold yourself still anymore, a mixture of pleasure and pain mixed inside you as his member went deeper and deeper.
You gasped, gasping loudly as you cried out from the pleasure, he grunted as he held your body firmly against his own.
"Won't you be my lover? My pretty little wife? The woman that'll bring the next Archon into this world~? " He said as his thrusts was harsh against your hips, groans left his lips as he gotten close.
"Beg for me, beg to be filled with my love, to be mine~" he groaned out as his eyes seemed to glow brighter.
"P-please Lord Barbatos, please f-fill me up! " Was all you could say before reaching your climax as well as his own, pushing himself deeper into you, everything happened so fast, he seemed to glow so bright, you fainted from all the stimulation.
.......
Your eyes fluttered open hearing the winds softly blow against the church, you felt sore before remembering last night, shooting up in bed quickly aching and regretting it as you held your stomach some. You noticed you're alone in your room, no sign of the bard.
You get up to get dressed and looked into your mirror to see all the markings, hickeys, bites and.. is that an Ameno mark? On her neck was a glowing mark for the Ameno Archon.
After getting dressed and cleaning up you opened the doors to the church for the regulars to come in, and not to surprising a certain bard was sitting on the stairs with his Lyre, singing a song of love.
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linkito ¡ 2 months ago
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So about that hhau Before the Horrors brainstorming you were talking about 👀 can I convince you to share some thoughts? :3 How silly were they before they got dropped into the bads?
-🎀
oh my gosh sOOO It started with me coming up with some past relationship stuff for Scar! Because ange and I have agreed that Scar has relationship experience, while Grian, pointedly, does not. (because extra drama for the situation on Hermitcraft! Grian doesn’t know if his understanding of love is skewed and wrong!) (spoilers: it’s not)
I thought it would be funny if Scar once got a guy’s number and later on got a booty call but did not...realize it was a booty call. The guy messaged him “I’m lonely...come keep me company?<3” and Scar immediately thought oh no!! he must need comfort and homemade cookies!
He’s halfway out the door when Cub tells him to have fun on his hook-up and Scar scoffs like “It’s not like that, Cub, my god!” 
... it was indeed like that.
And listen. The guy is nice enough but he sort of just expected the hot guy he met on mcci to come over and kiss him senseless and now he’s...in his kitchen. baking. and it’s very endearing but!!! oh my god.
So he calls his friend on his comm, hushed in his room like “I can’t kick him out, he’s baking!” meanwhile she’s laughing and mocking him for somehow finding a problem in a cute guy making cookies for him like hello? huge win? She jokes to give him HER number, but ultimately tells her friend to just let him down easy.
Well, unfortunately for them... vex hearing. Scar overhears the whole thing and hoooo boy is he embarrassed now. When the guy comes out of his room, Scar is already packing up, saying something came up, sorry!
But he can’t help but throw in a “...you can give your friend my number” as he leaves just to have a mic drop moment pfffff-
ANYWAY what does this have to do with Grian and Scar being idiots???
Well back in Boatem, Scar gets an incREDIBLY similar message from Grian one night: I’m lonely. Come over?
And Scar is rushing to get his shoes on when he has to stop and think: oh god is this a booty call?
Surely not. No, no, Grian and him are just friends! But like...what if it is? What if he embarrasses himself again? 
Ultimately he decides it would be even MORE embarrassing to assume it is and be wrong than it would be to show up ready to comfort again.
So he heads over. And Grian answers the door in his pajamas: a short-sleeved button up (Grian normally wears long sleeves and oh my gosh the freckles are on his arms too) and most importantly: just the shortest little pajama shorts.
Scar about short-circuits. (pun intended)
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Now here’s the thing. It wasn’t a booty call. And despite his flusterment, Scar still doesn’t assume it to be! He is a perfect gentleman! He eventually invites Grian over to his place (it’s bigger and cozier) so he can make cookies! And he gives Grian his overcoat as they walk over since it’s a little chilly.
And listen. The sight of Grian all dressed down like this? with Scar’s jacket on? with Jellie curled up in his lap? sitting in his kitchen while Scar bakes and rambles about nothing and everything?
Scar is down so bad. So darn smitten.
Also they absolutely fall asleep cuddled up together on Scar’s bed. But you know. 
Toooooootally just friends.
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dilfhos ¡ 1 year ago
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sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.
i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).
but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.
firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)
not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)
but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)
so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!
but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.
but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)
but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.
yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)
you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)
also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.
or doing less to achieve the same result.
not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.
at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.
Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!
you’re getting fucked after all!!
because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.
“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.
i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵
God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.
and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.
i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!
the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?
unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.
but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.
so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.
POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.
so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)
it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.
lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )
its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.
TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )
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alarmsofmyheart ¡ 1 month ago
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Jack and Joker : U Steal My Heart Ep 6
Is it deepavali in Thailand too.. jk, is it Chinese new year??
Ok we are having feast with children
OMG THESE GIRLS ARE THE BEST, Toi Ting my babygirl, spread the word yesss!!!!
The way everyone can see except them two idiots(affectionate)
AVGahahahshga Yin in Full Black and War in Red with Black+Red sleeves aAAAAAAAAAAA
OMG JOKE🤣 Yes boi, he accepted you as a friend but nobody is accepting that 🤣🤣🤣🤣
(This is gonna one hell of an episode, fluffy and improvements in relationship but I'm late and I'm still not ready)
Wow these girls..
Ayo Joke doesn't know how to cut fish?
O!! It's about belief.. okay
Aw.. let him finish the question
From having a home who probably don't want him back to getting to live in a home where both of them want you to stay.. Joke really found a family.
Oh no.. he is emo
Now I'm emo too, I'm not gonna stay on this thing, because eating with family sucks. I'm glad Joke found a new family.
OMG ROSE WENT TO THE BOSSDAD
These guys were swayed by JACK aosjsjsh
On no the reveal!! The cult lady is a mastermind
Mark looks so pretty
The bgm for Aran is so sad and lonely 😭
Boi is falling for Tattoo.. he left the group.. life is not that easy
That's what happens when richer people are stomping on less rich people, She wants to protect Jack and not even Dad can protect his woman's necklace or his son.. it's sad, let's see
He finally said 'im not leaving even if you kick me out' Yes sir, go cling on to him
Not Ama eavesdropping ajshsjsj
Joke your heart eyes
When your boyfriend is a legendary thief, you can't lock him out even from your bathroom 😌
That was so domestic (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤
Oh yes this was expected, Aran is going to get bet/slapped/scolded
Hope is getting it twice ig
Aran left.. o fuck the Joker ring!!!
Jack is still going to be in debt/hold because of Joker ring isn't he
Oh! The ♥️ RED ♥️ shirts were for Chinese New Year OKAY
Happy New Year Jack, Joke, Ama, Toi Ting.. it's gonna get so bad
All those superstition about eating techniques were actually a foreshadowing I see
That was beautiful. God War Wanarat is so beautiful. Him sitting on floor and talking to Toi Ting was so calming the fuck down.
Oh boi, didn't ama just say don't give loans?? Smh
Aran is going to move in with Tattoo??now that both his mom and Hoi left to the shrine?
Aran is in the same grey shirt..
Wow BossDad really did cut ties with him, it's going to become difficult
His car is seized, he is fired, blah blah, How will he pay for the food he is eating 👀
Aran is really going through the downward spiral arc, it's going to get bad
Save comes to save Hope (I had to type it sorry)
Guys, get a room 🤷🏽‍♀️ not infront of Hoi and Tattoo's salad drinks
He cried.. babygirl
This dynamic between Tattoo and Aran is so dumb and realistic
Hoi is caught in a different web
Aww here comes the dreamy light
OMYGOD THAT WAS SO WELL DONE WITH THE KIDS AND THE SMILEY ON THE TEAR SOAKED PAPER
YINWAR MYGOD JACK JOKE THAT WAS NOT THE LOVE CONFESSION I EXPECTED
And the promise!!!!!!
Yes we have a witness for the confession.
Joke contacted Coach??!!!
Coach got a redemption. Nice.
Jack is going through it..
Jack dear..
I just realised, shok means luck right?? In Thai and shok and Joke sound same.. and Jack has got Joke now..
Idk how long it's gonna last, but it is good
Save is not buying that..
Oh God the cult lady is going to ask for Jack as a pawn?? Or something?? The bgm is so scary wth
This is the worst last payment scene I've seen.. the eerie vibes, the happiness in Jack's face, the absolute cool boss acting of the Boss, and please Joke please be not waiting outside
Jack looks so pretty.. so pretty it's sad
Oh fuck Joke IS INDEED WAITING OUTSIDE
First episode, Joke was looking from far, now he is standing on the portico of Jack's place, it's nice but the queasy feels of this whole scene
I can't unhear the "shok di na" stuffs, because Jack has Joke already it's sooo stuffy choking mentally
Tf was that?? Save probably did something with the savings money? Or the land??
So.. Boss dad pawned Ama, money does run the world doesn't it??
Joke is going to have to wait..
Alright that's it.. I had to sit while the outro song plays to process this all
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adviceformefromme ¡ 1 year ago
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Sis, please tell me, how do I LISTEN?
It’s not that I can’t HEAR, I can feel it, it’s just that I’m not LISTENING.
How? How do I listen to my Body? How do I listen to GOD? How do I listen to my spirit, to life, to the experiences and lessons that come for me? I keep ending up in the same situations over and over again: broke & unemployed, angry and short tempered, desperate, lonely and self-isolating; overwhelmed with all the negative and all I WANT to be doing that I shut down and turn everything off and close my mind and my heart to everything and everyone.
I lost my brother 4 years ago, the love of my life, my best friend & cheerleader, virtually my dad, as I didn’t grow up with mine. I couldn’t handle it, I’ve never experienced loss like this. I turned it all off and threw my spirit, along with my hopes, dreams, will to live and self worth into a box and down into a Black Sea of grief and heartbreak 💔 Now, I can’t find that box anymore…I can HEAR it screaming to me, but I’m not listening close enough to find it. What do I do?
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Hey Sweetie, sorry to hear of your pain! I can relate as I lost my brother suddenly over 7 years ago and we were sooo close. It was pain I had never experienced. As for closing off and shutting down, this was also my coping mechanism. The main thing is, is that everything you write is totally possible to overcome. I'll put some tips below, take what you need and DM me if you need more support xoxox
The broken record, the keep making the same mistake pains. Spend some time analysing these. Where was the window that you could of made a change? For example. If in relationships you loose your temper when a guy doesn't message back. Where is the window in that process for change? Bring light to it. Is it learning to say no to men who show you early on that they are crappy with messaging? Is it not sleeping with them too soon so you can see their true colours? Really observe the cycle. And drill down on where you can see your set back. Once you can see the pattern and the behaviour keeping you stuck. You can move into prevention. If X happens, I will now do X. Keep reminding yourself of this. Keep reminding yourself of your new behaviour.. Daily, even outside of the situation, keep reminding yourself if X happens I will now do X. And this is the PRE step , this is making the change before you end up in the gutter. This is your preventative action. When you feel ready ask God for a test. He WILL deliver.
Stop breaking your own promises. Learn to build trust with yourself. Start small, this is how you build self respect, and move forward. This really affects your whole being. If you say you are going to make your bed start making it. Start small and build some trust inside, this is how you gently start listening to yourself, and responding. Once that trust is there and you become that person to yourself that you can rely on you can move to bigger goals.
Have an outlet to process your emotions. Create space to cry and feel if you are someone who does not have ability to do this day to day. Carve out some you time for reflection. I struggled to cry when I was grieving as a child I was not allowed to show emotion with my abuser, so during my grief my emotions became so clogged up. I would have to carve out time to FEEL. Sometimes it was journalling, but movies allow me to feel so i would sit with a box of tissues sobbing my heart out to any random movie. Do what you need to give yourself space and freedom to process and feel.
Get a therapist if possible, if not lean on youtube, podcasts, books. There are so many amazing books, I recommend Marianne Williams - Return to Love. This is a great book for healing and references to God.
Find a community, you need a support system. Through Church, through new hobbies, through existing friends let them know what you are going through and let them know what you need from them. Maybe you just need your best friend to listen instead of doing xyz, let them know. Part of asking for help is knowing what your needs are. What are your needs for yourself? What do you need right now? What do you need from you ?
Become DEVOTED to your self - care and self - love. This should be your first and foremost priority. Healing from deep wounds of loss requires extra love and care for you, so let this be your main priority.
Cleanse your life of all the pollution. See yourself as the ocean, keep your ocean clean. What music is polluting your ocean? What people are toxic to your waters? What actions are you taking that harming your beautiful seas? Take inventory and start making adjustments. Remember, the ego will be overwhelmed if you go hard on all these changes. Imagine a swinging pendulum. Going too far to one side will only mean swinging to far to the opposite side. With the above, try to find some middle ground when introducing new habits. Be kind to yourself, and keep a check of your inner voice. Are you living in an internal war zone? Imagine yourself as a small child, how would you treat her? Love her? Care for her? Wash her? Feed her?
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kidlit-queen-competition ¡ 1 year ago
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Round 3 poll 2: Peril from Wings of Fire vs Annabeth Chase from Percy Jackson and the Olympians
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Propaganda:
Peril:
PERIL MY FAVORITE GIRL. she has a PHENOMENAL character design. she's a dragon whose scales are burning hot to the touch, and her eyes are bright blue, but in a way that's basically described as "the sky, but on fire". a major antagonist was basically raising her as a living weapon, and her childhood was pretty horrific even by wings of fire standards. she was made to brutally murder other dragons in arena fights for her kind-of-mother-figure's entertainment. she had extremely few normal interactions with others for most of her childhood, so she does not have a great frame of reference for most situations. also her one friend/decent parental figure was later murdered in front of her as a punishment. anyways by the time the main characters show up, she (VERY UNDERSTANDABLY) has atrocious social skills and loads of trauma. she's also genuinely delightful in every scene she's in, because she's so well-meaning and fun, and she has a tendency to speak in caps-lock. she immediately latches onto the first character to be nice to her, and that leads to her helping out the main characters several times. THEN. she gets her own book! and her perspective is my favorite out of all the POV characters. she does not react normally to any situation ever, and she makes a friend!! and it's the best best best dynamic in the books, and i love them forever and ever and ever. pretty much everything she says or thinks is one of my favorite lines. she has sooo many issues. she's my daughter she's my child. she's a war hero she's a war criminal she's both she's neither. God Forbid Women Do Anything. Peril Has Done Nothing Wrong In Her Life Ever And I Love Her. she's literally perfect. she is HAUNTED she is TRAUMATIZED she is MORALLY QUESTIONABLE she is LONELY she is WEIRD her first instincts are almost always ARSON AND VIOLENCE and she is TRYING HER BEST ALWAYS. anyways vote Peril Wings Of Fire. for me. <3
Annabeth chase:
Not Like Other Girls genius demigod architect disaster who conquered arachnophobia with a Chinese Finger Trap.
She's smart, she's tough, she doesn't take anyone's crap, she's a woman in STEM. Her mother is the goddess of wisdom and it fucking shows. Annabeth Chase was my second crush at the age of 10
It’s fucking Annabeth Chase
I'm sure she has been submitted already, I am seconding her submission
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amemenojaku ¡ 1 year ago
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Shinmyoumaru for the character ask prompt
I got several asks about her... thank you everyone for allowing me to go completely batshit insane
General opinion/How much I care about them: GAHHH I love her SO MUCH it's unbearable!!!! I think nowadays I wouldn't be able to say who's my number 1 favorite touhou character between her and Seija... There is a very special place in my heart for Shinmyoumaru Sukuna T_T I love the play on a classic otogizoshi (making the descendant of Issun Boushi a princess AND the ally of a horned demon at the same time is sooo good) and I love that she has this brave and regal aspect to her personality while still being a little bastard and I love her design and the atmosphere of her fight scene in DDC and her heart and everything else!!! She is cool and cute and funny god I wish Shinmyoumaru were real I have so much affection for this silly little character
A ship I love: (puts on my clown makeup) I made myself known here as a seishin artist many years ago and I'm happy to say they're still my absolute favorite pairing in the series! toxic yuri wins!! The way I see them has changed a lot over the years and thanks to the surprisingly big amount of material we got in the spinoffs and the books but at its core it's still the same... Lonely people who created unforgettable memories together and changed each other forever... And you can go so many different ways with them... But I guess my all-time favorite seishin flavor is best summed up in this unrelated quote (more people should read Fafoo):
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seishin fans also manifested grimoire of usami into existence which I think is incredible enough on its own to mention
A non-romantic relationship that I love: With Reimu!!! I think we all agree that their interactions in Forbidden Scrollery were perfect and that Shinmyoumaru is an excellent addition to the Reimu solar system. There's something so touhou-ish about them living together after DDC and Shinmyoumaru sewing that small kimono as a gift for Reimu and then later hijacking the danmaku festival so bad that Reimu has to step in. Literally textbook case of Reimu dealing with another little rascal yet befriending them in the process. Speaking of I think they genuinely are good friends, not just danmaku or drinking buddies... I love to imagine their daily life together when Shinmyoumaru stayed at the shrine......
The NOTP: For better or for worse she's almost exclusively shipped with Seija which is fine by me!! I've never liked seeing her with anyone else (save for a onesided Shinmyoumaru -> Reimu crush).
My biggest headcanon about them: THERE'S TOO MANY TO LIST..... I have pages upon pages of Shinmyoumaru & kobito-related headcanons because she is constantly rotating somewhere inside my brain but I can share a few ones: her family is not only a descendant of Issun Boushi but also a descendant of Sukunahikona; none of the kobito have last names except the ruling family who takes on the most sacred one - Sukuna; there's actually a little bit of Issun Boushi's spirit remaining in the miracle mallet, he doesn't exist there anymore or anything but it's like a warmth that Shinmyoumaru can feel when she wields it.
An idea for a fanwork I would like to make/see about them: I have a lot of wips that I probably won't ever finish sadly... But I -would- love to draw some kind of comic or writing/art mix where I could include all those headcanons someday, with her past and especially a study of her relationship with the mallet
Something that makes me think of them: Hedgehogs :) and forget-me-nots!
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somedayillbepeterpan ¡ 2 years ago
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Some of the gold that I loved in ep 10 apart from the kiss and Hae-e’s confession
• chi-yeol having a heart attack when he sees haeng-seon’s message to go to the karaoke place and thinking it’s a motel. My man still went though. Sooo lovesick!
• having drinks with university friend. I really appreciate this part because of how lonely chi-yeol is. The person he probably wants to call and be with the most is the one person he couldnt be with at that moment.
• forever meme-able chi-yeol being a lightweight and passing out like he just died and went to heaven (which he did in this episode when he got to kiss haeng-seon)
• jae-woo being the best dongsaeng to chi-yeol and the unknowing bridge for the kiss to happen. Also, that part on the door and on the bed was sooo funny. Kyung-ho, the god of comedy. I love how thin and frail he is— best psyiognimy for physical comedy.
• hae-e watching her two psuedo-parents falling in love
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