#i love me some carbs
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I WOULD GIVE UP CARBS FOR YOU MINGI
#thats how much i love you#i love me some carbs#pink mingi#mingi#song mingi#pinki#pink minki#im never recovering from this#im never moving on from this#ateez mingi#minki
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Should really just make a post with all my silly little oc Spotify playlists. Might as well be this one.
Non-Specific XIV playlists (made up of XIV songs and some remixes of them, includes songs from Canon Crossover Raids like NIER and Ivalice) [Battle] [Relax]
Chuusday’s playlist [Workshop] (factory noise/boss themes/electronic) and [Dreaming Of electric Kaarakuul] (gramophone graininess and blues)
Tuesday’s Playlist [Chores Simulator] (Louie Zong, Piano, Waltzes, the feeling of being in a new small town possibly on the coast)
Ishi’li’s Playlist [Dazzling Eorzean Adventurer In Purple] (Creepy Nuts, hip hop, 8-bit/chip tune, J-rock. The most vibe varied playlist so far imho, but Ishi has a wider range of musical tastes because of their background…)
Levraut’s playlist [Pirates + Investigations] (Sea shanties, drinking, sailing songs, hints of harpsichord, occasional tension)
Tangy’s playlist [Internal Thoughts] (Basically All Elevator Music BayBee) and [Orange Jams] (shoegaze/garage rock, crunchy)
Mochiie’s Playlist [Doesn’t have a Name Yet] (sprinkle of traditional Mongolian, Bollywood, romantic Hindi songs, XIV music) not nearly as long as my other playlists yet.
Swydghem’s (and Solkmyna’s, they’re sorta blended, I was listening to it the whole time I was writing [This]) playlist [The Sea Rises To Meet You] (Somber, more women’s vocals than men, longing, Gaelic)
Maltagliati’s playlist [Haunting Hours are 24/7] (Halloweenish and Video Game Chill-hop with some Dungeon Crawling sprinkled in. Laid back hanging out in a haunted house or perhaps in Haukke Manor’s basement on a dare, summoning Creatures. Or, low stakes hide and seek with a monster. I dunno.)
Bonus round: Chuu+Tue’s combined playlist, a very small mix of music I’m slowly cultivating. [Marriage Of Flesh And Machine] (Electro, Piano, Crunch, Dance Hall, Orchestral??? tempo and vibe vary wildly between chased by Wolves In An Abandoned City and Trendy Department Store Introspection. They are more than the sum of their parts; it is a chaotic collision of Viera and Machine into something new and beautiful and strange.)
#I love making playlists. It’s so silly and fun. captures their vibe and musical taste. it’s like an expansion of Likes/Dislikes to me#that said some are harder than others! finding their sound/instrument/style is tricky and then also pinning down songs in that subset#the reason everyone doesn’t have one yet is because 1) they take time to curate and 2) I don’t know what to put on them yet 🤪#Mochi is stumping me the most.#I know in theory what goes on Ishi’s but I have to put it together and then make a secondary playlist anyways#will probs edit + reblog or reblog with additions as I have them I suppose?#this is LIKE a pinned post but not really.#I should take some tangy pics and just put together a blasted bio she’s rotting my brain 🤦#5/31/24 edit; added Ishi’s playlist#edit 8/29/24; added Carbs playlist#edit 12/3/24; added Mochiie’s playlist finally!#edit 1/6/25: added Chuu+Tue’s playlist
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I would never be able to survive a low carb diet
#chatterye#my stir fry didn’t have a solid carb in it and it made me feel so unsatisfied#so I ate it with some toast and it was so filling#I say some ONE slice of bread#it was crazy I cannot live without carbs#idk how people do it I need them carnally#I love carbs I could only eat carbs honestly I don’t care for any protein the way I love carbs
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i love that in lone bot and carb the music playing when bonz-eye explains her situation it goes from minor key signifying how she feels alone and isolated due to not knowing where she belongs , to major key at the end where she is , in a sense , at peace knowing she isn't lonely in her situation-- the other lost bots , and to a larger degree , lady macaron , have shown her that it isn't all about being in a clique full of other people like you. you can be yourself and choose who you want to be and what you want to do even if you're going solo.
and bonz-eye knows that now. even if she's still sad she'll probably never meet other plant bots, or those as down-to-earth as she is , she feels as if she has a goal now . a purpose . the very thing she was looking for in the first place. to be herself & to keep going , not for , but with her new-found friends. the ones who've been there from day 1. the music really ties it together with a neat bow, the last few notes in the major key having a sweet conclusion , reflecting how she's semi at peace with her thoughts and where she is. tl;dr god i love this show
#the captain's rambles#botbots tag 🏪#botbots#transformers botbots#tf botbots#media analysis#bonz eye#lone bot and carb#I LOVE YOU LONE BOT AND CARB WAAAAAAAUGH#i know botbots is never supposed to be that deep but IT IS TO ME#IT IS TO ME ALWAYS ALL THE TIME FOREVER#its such an important episode to the series not just for the dynamics it establishes (and also having an iconic burgerbonz clip)#but because it goes indepth to the existential part of Being a botbot and what a squad might mean#the lost bots up until episode 10 had No grounding as a squad. they werent “official” to the other bots they were just a group of weirdos#which has a whole new level of “holy shit” when you take into account bonz-eye's outburst in rage against the karaoke machine#in their own unique ways all 5 of the lost bots struggled with that existentialism because they ALL felt isolated#it wasnt just bonz-eye it wasn't just burgertron. all five of them felt outcasted . and they all dealt with it uniquely#some in a more destructive manner than others#what does it really *mean* to be a botbot? to be in a squad? to be an inanimate object brought to life by energon? or something more comple#ring-a-ling doesnt have a squad. is she a botbot? or is she something else?#does being a botbot mean you have to be in a squad to have any respect? because obviously bots without squads are either outcasted#or already ARE outcasts of their own volition (desserto ringy etc)#but even those without squads dont respect the lost bots unless theyre super out of the mall culture loop#do you guys get what im saying or am i just spitting nonsense#also apologies for going all plato and socrates there i took a philosophy class once via crashcourse and ive never been the same since
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#heartfelt thank you for everyone who bared with me these past two weeks and kindly did not unfollow through my bad vibes posts#i clearly underestimated how much cutting carbs would effect me mentally while at the same time pmsing#im over the hump now as ive felt a million times better mentally and physically the past couple days!#love you guys so much#sappy time over#btw im not dieting to lose weight i actually love my weight#i noticed that it was getting really hard for me to move around#i have cerebral palsy so its ALWAYS hard to move around but the past few months i had felt like i was physically 90 years old#so i did some research and found that it could be inflammation in the body#and a good way to curb that is lowering your carb intake#which id devastating bc carbs make the world go round#but its worked. while i was mentally and moody the first 2 weeks- my body hasnt felt this great and mobile in a few years#lots of things to say here huh
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Y'know...i think wearing earbuds like 24/7 and playing my music and shows super loud probably isn't the best for my hearing..
#it seems I've made my tinnitus worse#i usually don't play my music super loud#but the last few days have been really weird brain-wise#like i have a pretty good relationship with my body and food#but recently I'll get hungry and some little part of my brain is like ��don't eat just yet. wait until /this/ time and you'll get skinny”#but i don't WANT to get skinny. like brain we've been over this#it's weird and bad and i don't like it#i think it's my mom again. and her mom#my grandma is very “cut out as many carbs as possible” but it's whatever bc she's super old and sugar makes her bones hurt or something#but my mom has always been super insecure and has tried every diet on the books and always tried to rope ME into it too#which gave me horrible dysmorphia and body image issues that took me like 10 years to get over#and now i am and i love my body and how I'm built in all the ways that made me upset in middle school#and NOW my subconscious decides to get an ED?#fuck outta here#tw ed#anyways.#I'm tired and my ears are ringing
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had a strange dream that I lived somewhere that has a robust trainsystem and I took a train with my brother to another country where the station was in a huge circular open area in a building of cut stone like a castle with a lot of canals and waterways in it and I bought some fresh baked bread from a street stall there but I have no idea how much I paid for the bread bc I couldn't understand the guy and dont know how much dollar a quid is worth anyway and I woke up disappointed that I don't have tasty tasty fresh warm bread to munch on
also that vendor didn't give my credit card back, so. I think I actually paid my entire bank account for two big paper bags full of warm bread and y'know what that's a fair price.
#/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\#catnaps#i think that this may be my body's way of telling me “GO EAT SOME CARBS BITCH”#and like. roger that chief ill get right on it i love bread
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It's actually going well, i would say
#okay. so i've passed everything except for two things#one is an exam i'm gonna sit next week so i could pass if i study hard enough#and the other is an exam i sat but we didn't get the results yet. although i'm not too confident i feel like i did okay#but nevertheless worst case scenario i'll only have to take two exams in the autumn. and i'm happy with that#i'll do my best to kill the next exam and i'll hope for the best for the other one#but the worst week is done. and i have some tequila in me bc i decided it's a good a time as any to go drinking#(at half past noon lmfao)#and now i'm gonna make myself rapunzel and tomatoes in aceto and olive oil bc tbh#i don't feel like eating heavy food today even tho i love carbs it's too hot for anything heavier than veggies and fruits#i shoulda bought feta but i couldn't be bothered today tbh
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Did taco bell make my bowl extra big or is my appetite terrible again?
#there's barely a dent and there’s lettuce and sauces so it's not really reheatable#im pretty sure it felt heavier and seemed fuller than ot should be#as much as i love extra product im scared that the extra could be rice and I might go over my allotted carbs#i hate how much this feels like toxic dieting but um it's medically necessary i don't overdo the carbs now#also I'm high and for some reason my appetite vanishes every time i get high#except when I'm already nauseated then it helps me eat otherwise I'm just... bored and done with food#i probably should have eaten first#oh and this is a late lunch so i still should eat another meal but probably won't#food mention
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THIS ISNT WORKING AND IM HUNGRY ALL THE TIME
#they made me cut carbs#i freaking love carbs man#you have no clue how bad i want some toast#or a muffin#or donut#food#hungry#im so hungry guys
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☠️ I love creating characters but I gotta figure out how to stop feeling like, such shame about it. Like, I’m not a dog who just pissed in the most secret secluded corner they could find trying to avoid getting in trouble 😭
😔 Gestures vaguely. Let’s unlearn shame together. Tomorrow.
#day-2-day#yeah this is about carbs would you believe it.#I just love partaking in the act of creation I love exploring a sense of self through the other#and! I love dress up dolls. laying face down on the pavement in the blistering heat.#also I wanted a character who was decidedly a summoner main cos I like summoner and also I think there’s some nuts stuff you can do with it#like how primal are you. haha. you lb3 by channeling Bahamuts might THROUGH YOUR BODY. you MANIFEST WINGS.#THE ARMOR IS SCALES AND HORNS AND WINGS#HOW MONSTROUS CAN YOU GET 👁️#also I wanted a monsterfucker. who wasn’t tied up in anything else. sue me!#monsters are hot! Proto-carbuncle is hot!#lots of tag chatter today. ahem. it’s also a million degrees today and I’m miserable#and tomorrow is somehow going to be impossibly hotter
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bulk
capt. john price
cw: smut/pwp, rugby au, rugby player!price, age gap (20s/40s), size difference/kink, rough sex, doggy style, headlock (slight choking), dirty talk & degrading language, breeding kink, is this ticking off boxes for anyone?
this bunny feeds on comments & reblogs! feed the rabbit!
john price was a big man. almost ten years playing professional rugby for the english team, he had bulked up since his early years on the team. thick muscle and a nice softness over top. he was strong, able to carry all the groceries inside of your shared flat and also get his hulking frame across the field with ball in hand. he was also hairy, patches of hair across his chest down to his belly, didn't mention all the pubic hair between his legs. it obscured a lot of his tattoos that he had gotten over the years, like your name over his heart and his jersey number at his thigh (you knew you'd get too hot if you thought about his thighs too much). you once told him, with your tongue loose with alcohol that it was the ideal male body. that these ‘dehydrated poor excuses of men’ needed to drink water and eat some carbs.
price was a man's man. you knew the first time you fucked him, that you'd never ever fuck with those limp dicked boys at your university. you got addicted to the feeling of a real man, one who know exactly how to make your eyes roll back and your tongue hang out, panting heavily like a good bitch you were.
post-game price was your favourite shade of john price. you could feel his electricity while in the passenger seat of the car after the match. when he pulled out of the parking lot, he placed his large hand on your thigh. he played with the edge of your skirt and kept his eyes on the road. you could tell that the wheels in his head were turning.
“honey?”
“been thinkin', love.” he said as his fingers edged up your skirt a little more. like he was a teen boy rather than a forty year old man. he was teasing you, knowing that there would be no way you could both fuck in the back of his car. even it was an expensive vehicle, it would be a tight fit for such a large man and his smaller wife.
you looked at him and said, “never a good thing for a man to think.” you giggled then yelped when he gripped your thigh suddenly.
he chuckled a little as he continued to drive, “thinkin' about makin' a baby.” he licked his top lip, “i ain't gettin' any younger, love. and you're almost done school, so i think it's high time we start makin' a family.” his words were honey in your brain. it made you squirm. your much bigger, much older husband was asking for you to make a baby with him.
“someone's got baby fever.” you giggled as you placed your hand over his. the air of the car grew warmer, which made price open the window a little. you squeaked a little bit when he gripped you harder. you felt your heart rate pick up at the feeling of his large hands on you.
he chuckled a little, as he looked at you briefly while at a stop light. he leaned in to kiss you, “of course. part of me's been thinkin' about you walking across the stage at your graduation with my little brat in your belly.” then looked back to start driving again.
you rubbed your thighs together and felt wet at your core. you couldn't deny your husband, plus you had been subject to baby fever as well. maybe it was your body screaming for your lover. to have a part of him in you. and it wasn't like you two were being the most safe, so accidents could've happened. once back at your flat, you weren't in your clothes for long.
price had practically ripped your skirt off of you and those large paws he called hands were groping at your plush ass with his lips on your neck. you could feel his hard cock inside of his white briefs. the pre cum leaked through the fabric as he humped against you. he said in a heated tone, “i need it. i need her.” while made you moan then try to get your bra and panties off. you felt the heat rising in your skin, it was painfully hot for you. it excited you in ways that left you feeling hot all over.
“how badly, honey?”
he pulled you right up against him, his clothed cock digging into your abdomen, “more than anythin'. i need ‘er. i need ’er stuff full. want it to smell like me for months. and if it doesn't, i'll just fill 'er up again.” he slapped your ass and watched you moan with your back arched. he groped the cheek one last time before he took his naked wife to the bedroom.
his clothes were tossed to the side too, the t-shirt from the rugby league and basketball shorts. once everything was off, you admired your lover for a long moment. seeing all the heft and hair on him. his body that was so strong that he could easily crush you in his bicep or between his thighs. it made your core throb as you got into bed.
“nah, nah.” price said as he got onto the bed and grabbed your hips, “i need a deeper angle, somethin' to really show her i love you.” then patted your pussy before he gripped onto your hips once more and turned you onto your stomach. he then angled your hips up then dragged a finger across your achy slit. he chuckled, “there she is.” then leaned in to give your slick cunt a little blow, watching your hole flutter.
“mmm please, honey.” you arched your back as you felt your husband so close to you. your hulking husband who only hours earlier was running across the field, fighting his way through the other team. his strong legs carried him and you were sitting in the stands with your thighs pressed together with need.
price replied, “i know, i know. i know you need me” he rubbed his achy cock up against your slit, “always so good for me. knew for the moment i met ya that i wanted ya for the rest of my days.” there was an age gap between you two, but in all fairness, it turned you on even more. knowing that this handsome older man wanted to make sure that his cock was buried in you.
when he pressed into you, your back arched. you gasped heavily into the covers as he lifted your hips further to get a better angle to sink into you. he laid over top of you, his fuzzy body up against your back. he pressed his weight onto you and kept that heavy cock of his snug inside of you. you groaned loudly, muffled by the pillows under your head.
“honey.” you whined as you felt the ache of his cock so deep in you.
he got one of his hefty arms around your throat, keeping you further pinned against the bed. it wasn't hard enough to choke the lights out of ou. but enough to have pressure that made your head swim. it all felt so good and just just started. your voice was strained when price started to rut against you. his pace wasn't fast like a young stallion, but they were hard. every thrust of his hips were lazily slow but hit the back of your pussy perfectly. his cock had a thickness to it, you had carried rolls of ground beef that weighed less than his cock. not to mention the forest of pubic hair anf his breeder balls. he was a perfect man, body and all. he took you so well.
“she likes me.” he said, “your pretty cunt. i bet you were thinkin' about me on the field. all dirty and roughed up, yeah. bet you wished i fucked ya right in the locker room. let the boys hear how i make my girl feel. bruise that poor pussy of yours.” he said, words hot in your heat. it made sweat settle over you.
you whimpered a little against the covers, “please, john. ah!”
he continued to fuck you, his pace was aggressive and it made you see stars. his arm was still around your throat and you could feel your pulse in your jaw. he left messy kisses on your face, leaving your cheek wet. you whimpered and clenched around his cock which only made him fuck you harder. you were such a good little wife for him. being so good to your man while he wrecked your sweet little hole.
"honey! please! you whimpered as you arched your back, but didn't get far due to the impressive size of your lover. you felt pinned under him, his strength. you gasped out another noise as the blunt head of his cock kept bullying your sweet insides. letting it make a huge mess of you, his cock was soaked in your wetness. it dripped down his hairy balls. he loved making his girl feel good.
he continued to kiss your face, not quite getting your lips. his facial hair brushed against your heated skin and made you over sensitive. his mouth kept running as he kept moving. he felt hot all over, like a heat in his gut as he battered your sweet insides, “my perfect woman. know how to take me so well. meant to take me. givin' me the privilege to make you a mama. ya like that? showin' up to uni with a little extra next semester. my dutiful little wife. keepin' up her studies while she nursing my babe.” he chuckled as he continued to keep that pussy of yours nice and filled.
you gasped and moaned into the covers. you could be as loud as you wanted, you were in the safety of your bedroom as price rutted against you. your body was sweaty and your head was swimming. it was so painfully erotic, you felt hot all over. your heart thumped in your chest with a heavy beat as price kept moving against you.
“you're lucky you have the ring already. if your classmates saw you with a nice round middle, they might have gotten the wrong idea about you. that you're a dirty slag who can't keep her legs closed.” he chuckled as he licked down the sweat on the side of your neck, “dirty bird. but it's alright, we're married. you're my wife. mrs. jonathan price. about time you got a little one in your belly.” he pressed further into you and it made your head spin. his cock felt like it was pressing into your stomach.
“i love you.” you panted.
he finally kissed your lips, or at least the corner as he tightened his hold around your throat, “i love ya too, sweet thing. lettin' my cock bully your sweet insides. made for me, all of me. don't worry, be keepin' that womb warm for a long time. hope ya like 'em big, price boys can be a handful.” he laughed as he kissed the back of your neck.
he was fully crowded in your space as he worked your sweet pussy. you barely had time to think before you felt the flash of orgasm through your body. it was like being engulfed in a quick heat while your body tensed up and your mind went blank. your pussy drooling on his cock, beckoning him to finish inside of you.
a good husband always finishes in his wife.
with a few more heavy thrusts against your limp body price finished inside of you. he pushed his cock all the way inside of you and made sure that your hips were at an angle that made it easier for you to get pregnant. he clutched onto you as he slowed down to a stop. your eyes rolled back a little as he pulled out. the loss of pressure made you whine. you weren't able to form any proper thoughts, your tongue felt heavy in your mouth as your husband rolled you onto your back and kissed you deeply on the lips.
no need to think, mrs. price. let your rugby playing husband do all the decision making. <3
#bunny writes#captain john price x reader#john price x reader#john price cod#captain john price#captain john price smut#john price smut#captain jo#captain johnathan price#rugby au#cod rugby au#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare 2#call of duty#reader insert#john price x you#price x you#price x reader#captain price x reader
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PLEASEEEE MORE POSSESSIVE JELOUS DRACO🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️YOUR BAD SANTA FIC WAS LITERALLY EVEYTHING. POSSESSIVE MEN GOT ME WEAK
thank you for the request!! hope this is satisfactory 🫶🏻
Flutterby Baby | D.M.
feat. Draco Malfoy x fem!reader
SUMMARY: Draco finds out another student sabotaged your Herbology project.
CW: MDNI 18+, smut, draco’s pov, established relationship, possessive!draco, bullying, hurt/comfort, men suck, sort of rough fingering & piv, affectionate degradation if you squint (he refers to her as a plant), blood/fighting
masterlist
Draco watched as you pushed your pasta around your plate, staring absently at the whirls of sauce on the porcelain. You’d been quiet the entire meal, only speaking when directly spoken to by your group of friends, and even then, it was half-hearted, brief answers.
Both were unusual for his talkative, carb-loving girl.
He placed a light hand on your thigh, leaning closer to you. The warmth of your skin, the sweetness of your perfume, beckoned him even closer, but he ignored his impulses. “Everything alright, darling?” He asked, low enough that your friends couldn’t hear.
“Yes, just not very hungry,” you said in your pretty little voice, placing your hand over his and pecking his cheek.
He didn’t buy it. “I can track down some takeaway and we can eat in my dorm, if you’d like,” he offered, wondering if the commotion in the Great Hall was a bit too much for you.
You shook your head, another stunning development. You never turned down takeaway. “I’m fine, baby. Thank you, though.”
“Well, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll make one of these sod’s fetch it for you,” he teased, hoping to get a smile out of you. He didn’t.
Draco sighed, pressing a kiss to your temple before turning back to the conversation he was in the middle of with Theo and Pansy. He continued to watch you in his periphery as you started to play with his fingers, twirling his signet ring around and around. As much as he enjoyed the mindless contact, the delicate brush of your skin, he knew this was a nervous habit of yours.
He had half-a-thought to excuse you both, but he knew that would only draw more attention to your melancholy state, which would likely make you feel even worse. He could pick your brain later. Right now, he needed to make sure you were fed.
Casually, he picked up his fork, twirling a bit of his own pasta around the tines. Without breaking away from his conversation, he held the fork up to you, hoping you’d take a bite without really thinking about it. It was a small ritual the two of you developed during lengthy family dinners, something you often did automatically if he offered food to you. He felt you shift forward, your mouth wrap around the small bite, and you ate it.
He squeezed your thigh, a flare of affection making his heart pound. Good girl, he thought, but refrained from saying aloud.
The rest of dinner continued like that, Draco keeping your friends talking and distracted while he fed you small bites of his own dinner, your fingers twined with his in your lap. When he held up a bite and you gave small shake of your head, he knew it was because you were actually full, and he set his fork down, satisfied. For now.
That night in the common room, you were curled up in your chair by the fire, a book open in your lap while everyone pretended to study around you. He watched your eyes, your hands curled around the cover, and you were motionless. No pages turned, no lines devoured.
His worry deepened. Blaise seemed to notice as well, and gave him a curious look, dark brow raised. And of course, Theo caught the exchange, but turned back to his work, pretending he didn’t.
A prickle of suspicion climbed Draco’s neck. Typically, Theo was the first one to make a fuss over someone being in a sour mood due to his inability to tolerate negative emotions, but this time, he stayed silent.
Very odd, indeed.
But he could worry about Theo later. Draco lifted himself from the couch and walked over to you, dropping onto the floor in front of your chair. He tilted his head back, resting it against your shins. You reached down, dragging your fingers through his hair while you continued “reading” your book. He let his eyes flutter closed at the sensation, and tried to think of a way to draw you out of your head.
Lips pressed against his forehead, your perfume wafting over him, and he hummed in appreciation, reaching up to cradle your face. You leaned your cheek into his palm, and he titled his head back a little further to connect your lips in a soft kiss.
Your lips moved against his, brief and tender, and some of his tension unwound. It didn’t seem that you were upset with him, which was a relief. But, he wasn’t any closer to figuring out what exactly was troubling you.
“I’m going to go to bed,” you murmured in his ear, and he blinked in surprise, checking his watch.
It wasn’t even nine o’clock.
“So early, love? Are you feeling alright?” He turned to face you, rising to his knees. The group noticed, but he was too concerned to care. He placed the back of his hand on your forehead, your cheek, your neck, but you waved him away.
“I’m fine, D. Just tired,” you said, averting your eyes from his and rising from your chair.
“Baby—”
You leaned down and kissed him again, cutting off his protest. “I love you, I’ll see you in the morning,” you said, pecking his cheek one more time before walking towards the girls dormitory and ascending the stairs.
Draco slumped back to the ground, scrubbing a hand over his face.
“What did you do to her?” Pansy accused after a moment of tense silence.
“Nothing,” he snapped, though it was mostly toothless.
“She was acting strangely at dinner too,” Blaise noted. “She didn’t even have dessert.”
“Yeah, and she loves those chocolate things—what are they called?” Theo chimed in.
“Cauldron cakes,” Draco answered, glaring at them, irked that they were paying that close of attention to you. That was his job.
“Are you going to follow her?” Blaise asked, glancing at the stairs.
“No, he should give her some space,” Pansy said, giving him a pointed look.
“I’m perfectly capable of managing my girlfriend’s needs. Thank you,” he bit, and they fell quiet. He would leave you be, for now, but if you were still in a funk tomorrow evening, he’d be forced to intervene.
You were decidedly still unlike yourself come the following morning, and when he saw you during your shared Potion’s class. He continued to monitor the situation, trying to be patient like you often asked him to be, but that went out the window when you returned from your Herbology class with Theo in tears.
As soon as Draco saw your red and puffy eyes, he was on his feet. You ran straight into his chest, burying your wet face in his robes and digging your chilled hands into his back, trembling as your tears returned in earnest.
“Darling, what’s happened? What’s going on?” He cooed, wrapping his arms around your shaking torso, petting your hair in an attempt to soothe you. You didn’t respond, just held him tighter as you cried.
Theo tried to slip around the two of you, but Draco pinned him with a glare.
“What happened?” Draco hissed at him.
“Her Flutterby bush is dying,” Theo whispered, and you started to cry harder.
Shit. You’d slaved half the semester over this Flutterby bush in Herbology, it was your pride and joy, and you often stayed after hours with Professor Sprout to tend to it and the rest of the greenhouse. You had the greenest thumb Draco had ever encountered, and that plant was your baby. There was no way it would just suddenly die.
Draco raised a brow, and Theo made a ‘tell you later’ face. He nodded his head to dismiss his friend and turned his attention back to you, his poor, sensitive girl.
“Baby, it’s going to be alright. I’m sure you’ll figure out what’s going on—”
You shook you head. “It doesn’t make sense,” you sniffled, your voice muffled by his shirt. “It was perfectly fine. There’s no bugs or blights, I don’t understand.” You lifted your face, cheeks streaked with tears and lashes spikey, your eyes rimmed with red. The state of you made his heart ache.
“It’ll be alright,” he whispered, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs and pressing a kiss to your nose. “If anyone can save it, you can. You’re brilliant, love.” He used his sleeve to wipe your eyes and your nose before bundling you into his side. “Come on, relax for a bit with Pansy. That’ll help you think a little more clearly, yeah?”
You nodded, letting him deposit you on the couch beside your friend, who immediately abandoned what she was doing to fuss over you.
He kissed the top of your head, satisfied that you were well looked after for the time being. “I love you, I’ll be right back, okay?” He murmured, and you nodded again.
Theo was waiting for him in the hall. “Okay, so don’t get mad,” he said, holding his hands up.
Draco’s anger instantly flared. “Don’t give me a reason to get mad then.”
“She told me not to tell you because she knew you’d get all—” Theo gestured vaguely at Draco. “All…this.”
“Out with it, Nott,” he growled, fully prepared to punch his best friends nose through the back of his skull. What could you possibly want to keep from him?
“We think someone poisoned her plant,” Theo said, grimacing.
Draco froze, rage flaring so suddenly it darkened his vision. “What?” he snarled.
“We can’t say for sure yet,” Theo said hurriedly, trying to get ahead of the oncoming storm. “But there’s this one guy—”
“Who?”
“Reinhardt? Renfield? Something like that, I don’t know, he’s a Gryffindor. But he—Draco, where are you going?”
Draco was already halfway down the hall, formulating a plan in his mind about how to find this guy, and how to make him wish he’d never been born.
Theo grabbed his shoulder. “Listen, I have a better idea than storming the Gryffindor common room,” he said, and Draco paused.
“Go on.”
Draco loitered outside the Greenhouse, hidden by some trees, a stupid plastic ear in his hand. Theo had the other tucked into his robes, and Draco could hear Sprout beginning her lecture through their connection.
Draco sighed. This was ridiculous, he should just waltz in there and figure out exactly who this—
“Hey, y/n,” he heard someone mutter, an unfamiliar male voice, and he immediately held up the ear to listen. “Flutterby’s not lookin’ so good. Maybe I could help clear away some of the dead stuff?”
Draco's ears started ringing so loudly, he almost missed your response.
“I'm killing it just fine on my own, Renley, I don't need any assistance from you.”
He heard Theo snicker in the background, and Draco smiled. Atta girl.
“My mandrakes are thriving, thank you,” Renley replied, his voice tight with indignation. “It's a real shame about yours, though. Probably would have gotten you top marks.”
You didn't respond, and Draco gripped a tree branch to stop himself from charging through the glass to get this audacious fucker.
“Fuck off, Renford,” Theo warned, the feed clouded by his robes rustling.
“It's Renley,” the prick corrected, his voice a little louder, and Draco could practically hear Theo roll his eyes. “So, what do you say, sweetheart?” Sweetheart? Oh, this fucker was a dead man walking. “I'm willing to stay after and help you out. I'm good with poisons—”
“Poison’s?” You asked, a snarky lilt to your voice, and Draco loosed a relieved exhale despite the implication. For the first time in days, you sounded like yourself. “Who said anything about poison?”
“Oh, I—uh—”
“Reindeer, how did you know her plant was poisoned?” Theo prodded, his smirk audible.
“I don't! It's obv—it’s probably not p-poison!” Renley stammered.
“What's this about poison?” Sprout interrupted at the same moment Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle emerged from the treeline.
“Check fucking mate,” Draco mouthed, grinning.
“Professor Sprout, I do believe Renley here just confessed to poisoning y/n’s beloved Flutterby bush,” Theo said.
“Is this true, dearie?” Sprout asked you.
“Yes ma’am, it explains the strange phenomena we noted, as well as the sudden nature of the ailment. Renley’s been taunting me for days, and finally his mouth got ahead of his brain,” you said, poised as a Queen, and Draco was so proud of you it hurt.
Sprout gasped. “Mr. Renley! To Dumbledore's office this instant!”
“Crabbe, Goyle, grab him,” Draco ordered, stuffing the ear into his robes.
The two of them lumbered over the door, staying out of sight until the culprit stepped out into the sunlight, and Goyle grabbed Renley by the shoulders and started to drag him back around the Greenhouse.
“Hey! What the fuck—” his words pinched to a strangled whine when he saw Draco and Blaise waiting a few feet away, arms folded over their chests, completely hidden from the rest of campus.
Goyle shoved him to the ground at Draco's feet, and the coward was already sniveling.
Draco crouched down, nose to nose with the fucker that made his girl miserable, and smiled. “Was it worth it, Renley?” Draco asked, his voice low.
“Look, Malfoy. I didn't mean to—”
Draco didn't give him a chance to finish his paltry excuse and cocked his fist back, slamming his knuckles square in the side of his jaw. The bone crunched under his fist, sending Renley flying sideways in a spray of spit and blood, and Draco rose, clenching and unclenching his aching hand.
Normally, he'd step back and let the others get their hands dirty, but you were his girl. And if anyone was going to defend your honor, it would be him.
“No, no please!” Renley begged when Goyle hauled him back up. Draco punched him again, dead on the nose, then the temple, then the sternum. Goyle let Renley fall, groveling and weeping as blood ran down his face, his eyes already half-swollen shut.
Draco grabbed him by the hair, lifting his head up so he could whisper in his ear. “You're lucky it wasn't poison,” he snarled, and dropped Renley’s head into the dirt. “Leave him on the front steps of the castle,” he said to Crabbe and Goyle, who immediately pulled the boy up and started dragging him back towards the castle.
Blaise chuckled. “That was fucking brutal, mate.”
Draco looked down at his bruised and bloody knuckles, the pain bright and deliciously satisfying, his signet ring splattered with red. “Like I said, he's lucky I didn't decide to poison him.”
The chatter of students filled the air, and he looked up to see the Greenhouse emptying. Theo headed straight for them, glancing at Draco's knuckles and the blood in the grass before breaking out in a wild grin.
“Sorry I missed it,” Theo laughed.
“Where is she?” Draco asked.
“Staying behind to administer the antidote. Sprout is leaving her to ensure Renley is dealt with accordingly.”
“Well, she certainly won't be disappointed,” Blaise snickered.
“So she’s alone?” Draco asked, raising an eyebrow. He was hoping to clean himself up before seeing you, but wasn't sure he could resist the temptation. Not with his blood still running hot and your smart little voice echoing in his mind.
“Yep.” Theo smirked. “See ya’ back in the common room.” He and Blaise turned and started heading back to the castle, leaving Draco alone.
He rounded the greenhouse, knocking with his sore knuckles so he didn't startle you.
“Draco? What are you—saints, your hands!” You cried, rushing over to open the door for him. You grabbed for his hands, face pinched with worry.
“I'm fine, love,” he cooed, letting you fuss. The air in the greenhouse was thick and warm, coaxing him in like a embrace. It smelled fresh and lush, sweet soil and green leaves, like you.
Merlin, he couldn't think straight with you looking at him like that.
“Who did—” you paused, eyes narrowing. “Renley?”
He smirked. “Maybe.”
“Draco!” You huffed, dropping his hands. “I had it under control!”
“I know you did! You were amazing! I just...accelerated the consequences.”
You glared at him, but he could see you softening by the second.
“Baby, I'm fine. And he'll be fine in like, four to five business days.”
“Draco!” You shouted, but you were smiling. He fucking loved what you called his name in that exasperated but undeniably affectionate voice. “You don't have to get involved all the time. I'm perfectly capable of fighting my own battles, and Professor Sprout was working with me to solve it and—”
Draco reached out, pinching your cheeks with one hand, pursing your pouting lips and dragging you closer to him. “I'd do it again in a heartbeat. No one fucks with you so long as I'm breathing, is that clear?”
You nodded, eyes round and sweet like honey.
He released your face, sliding his hand into the hair at the nape of your neck and craning your head upwards. “Can I kiss you now? Or would you like to keep telling me off?”
You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his in a playful, smiley kiss. “Anything for my hero.”
“Anything?” Draco purred, walking you back into the long work table. You gasped, arching against his chest, and he caught the sound with another kiss, slipping his tongue past your lips to taste you.
Your tongue tangled with his, so eager as you pulled his tie to bring him closer. He guided your tongue into his mouth, sucking lightly before releasing you to bite your lip, toying with your mouth like he owned it.
And he could feel how much you loved it, your hips pressing against his as your hands wandered his chest, unable to pick a resting place.
He smiles, moving his hands to grip your hips. In a quick movement, he spun you around. Your hands slapped onto the table to catch yourself, your perfect ass pressing back against his rapidly hardening cock.
“Draco,” you whined, trying to look over your shoulder at him.
He tsked, sliding up your skirt, admiring the way his ruined knuckles looked against the soft flesh. “Do you want me to be gentle with you, darling?” He already knew what your answer would be, especially after a few stressful days, but he felt inclined to double check.
You shook your head side to side, pressing your ass back into his hands. “No.”
He smiled, squeezing the ample flesh, then delivered a swift slap that made you gasp. “That's my girl. You want me to scare away all those bad thoughts? Turn your brain off for a bit?” He slid his right hand between your legs, gliding two fingers over the damp spot on your panties.
You nodded, nails scratching along the wood when he applied a little pressure, moving his hand in a slow circle.
“Words, love,” he said, pausing his movement.
“Yes, baby. Please,” you whined, and his cock gave a painful lurch against his thigh.
“Colloportus,” he murmured, flicking his wand to lock the Greenhouse door. “Don't move,” he ordered, then walked over to the sink, washing the blood from his hands and muttering a quiet episkey to fix most of the damage on his skin. Some cuts remained, and his hands were still sore and slightly bruised, but it wasn't nearly as bad.
Satisfied, he turned his attention back to you, where you remained perfectly still, nibbling at your lower lip. In quick movement, he pulled down your panties, letting the fall around your ankles, and kicked your feet further apart, forcing you to lay your chest against the table.
“There we go,” he purred, bringing his hand back between your legs.
You were already soaked, hot and slick as his middle finger swiped through your sex. He started massaging your clit, quick, light circles that had you moaning breathlessly.
“Better, darling? Nothing to worry about besides being my good girl.” He moved away from your clit and eased his middle finger inside of you, his signet ring kissing your entrance before he curled his finger up. Your walls fluttered around him, sucking back against his finger when he pulled it out, only to graciously stretch for him when he added a second.
“Fuck, D,” you moaned, rocking your hips against his hand. “You said you wouldn't be gentle “
He smirked, enraptured with the way your pretty little cunt yielded for his battered hand. “Just so pretty,” he hummed, leaning down to whisper in your ear, pressing you harder against the table. “Can't help but worship you a little.”
You opened your mouth to reply, but he slammed his fingers inside of you, drilling into your channel with sloppy, punishing strokes. You cried out, feet sliding around on the floor, but he had you pinned and at his mercy.
“This better, brat?” He growled, nipping at your ear when you keened for him, unable to formulate a response. “Oh, how that fucker wishes he could see you now,” he drawled, straightening while his fingers fucked into you. “What'd he call you? Sweetheart?” He chuckled. “Sweet doesn't begin to cover it.”
“How did you—”
He slipped his fingers out to work your clit, the bud swelling under his touch as your orgasm built, and your words twisted into a moan. He tried to stay focused, keep you on the edge until he was sheathed inside of you, but couldn't bring himself to stop just yet.
“Are you sweet, baby?” He asked, swatting your ass cheek, enjoying the way your flesh rippled.
“Only for you,” you gasped, starting to tremble as that knot wound tighter and tighter.
“That's right,” he praised, undoing his trousers and taking his cock in his hand. He was insanely hard, the head a deep pink, pearly precum beading from the slit. He pumped himself twice to relieve some of the ache, then notched himself at your entrance, not pausing his assault on your clit for a moment. “All fucking mine,” he growled at the same moment he thrust inside of you, burying himself to the hilt.
You cried out, muscles contracting hard around him, and he groaned low in his throat. You were so fucking tight, gooey and supple when you weren't squeezing the life out of him. He drew back a few inches before snapping his hips forward, gripping your ass cheek in his free hand to keep you spread for him as he pounded into you.
He felt your orgasm hit the second before you did, your cunt clamping down on him a heartbeat before you screamed, your whole body locking up before going completely limp. He didn't let up, no matter how much you shook, how much you begged. Your tears left damp spots on the wood, your knees trying to buckle inwards, but he planted his feet on the inside of yours, forcing you to stay upright.
“Good fucking girl,” he rasped, snaking a hand up your spine to grip your hair and pull your head back. “Doing so well for me, sweet thing.” He was panting, the heat of the greenhouse coupled with the exterior making sweat collect around his hairline and drip down his spine. His knuckles burned from the salt, hands ached from being used long past when they should have been bandaged, but he didn't give a single fuck.
“Draco, shit—fuck me so good.” You reached back for him, nails dragging along his forearm, and he felt himself teeter on the edge of release, his balls drawing up tight as liquid heat spread through his pelvis.
“Give me one more, baby. I know you can. Then I'll water my favorite plant.”
Your pussy clenched at his words, a wanton moan falling from your lips, and he smiled. You were such a little freak, his little freak, and he loved you all the more it.
“You like being my pretty little houseplant? All mine to take care of?” Fuck, he was close, rambling in an attempt to distract himself and spend just a little longer in the delicious heat of your body.
“Yes, yes—fuck!” You were coming again, your whole body convusling as it ripped through you, and he was done for. He came with a yell, hips stuttering against your ass as he pumped rope after rope of release into your spasming cunt.
“Bloody hell, baby,” he moaned, bracing his hands on the table as he came down, his hips involuntarily rocking into your greedy warmth. You, poor thing, were left drooling and trembling, completely boneless, held up entirely by the table and his hips. He leaned forward, pressing kisses into your hair. “Did so good, love. So fucking perfect,” he murmured, throat tight with affection.
“Squishin’ me,” you giggled, squirming beneath him, and he straightened, nearly toppling over himself at the weak feeling in his knees.
“Sorry, darling,” he chuckled, and you groaned, pushing yourself up on trembling arms. He moved his feet, letting you close your legs, and he hissed through his teeth at the new tightness around his softening cock, stealing a final thrust before slipping out of you.
“Mm, how did you know he called me sweetheart?” You asked, peeking over your shoulder at him while he grabbed his wand to clean you both up.
“I have my methods,” he replied, righting your clothes and helping you stand up, relishing in the lingering tremble in your limbs.
“Were you spying on me, Draco Malfoy?” You teased, tugging him down by the tie so you were face to face.
He smirked. “Perhaps.”
“What a horrible invasion of privacy,” you snickered, giving him a playful peck.
“You want to punish me for it?” He nipped at your lower lip and you grinned, pushing lightly on his chest.
“Enough you, I have to administer the antidote before my plant gets any sicker.”
“Good thing I already cured mine,” he teased, and you swatted him before slipping out of his arms.
“You're insufferable.”
“And you're adorable.”
You grabbed some items from the shelves and a watering can, then paused, turning to look at him, a deadly serious look on your face. “Can we get takeaway after this?”
He snorted, his heart doing a giddy little flip. “Of course we can.”
#draco malfoy#draco malfoy fanfic#draco malfoy fic#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy x y/n#draco malfoy x you#harry potter fanfic#draco malfoy smut#draco malfoy fanfiction#draco malfoy one shot#draco x reader#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter smut#slytherin boys fanfiction#slytherin boys#draco malfoy imagine
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Romance Clichés With: Vil Schoenheit
Cliché: The Airport (Dark Mirror?) Confession
Others: Leona ; Azul ; Kalim ; Idia ; Jamil ; Riddle
Vil had told you last week about his upcoming movie shoot in another country. He’d casually mentioned he'd be gone for a little while, which you’d taken in stride. After all, he was a famous actor—it wasn't like he was leaving forever. At least, that’s what you thought. But Rook had other ideas.
“Oh, mon ami,” Rook sighed dramatically the day before Vil’s departure, “how brave you are. Truly a testament to love, to be able to bear such a tragic farewell without shedding a single tear! Many would crumble under the thought of not seeing their beloved for years.”
You blinked, pausing mid-bite of your sandwich. “Years?”
Rook nodded, his eyes misting over, clearly lost in some inner poetic monologue. “Oui, it may well be years before we see Roi du Poison’s radiant visage again. Some might say he is embarking on an odyssey, one that will only return him to our shores once he’s ascended to an even greater pinnacle of fame.”
“Y-Years?” you echoed, a pit forming in your stomach.
“Bien sûr!” Rook leaned in, whispering with all the seriousness of a tragic romance novel. “In showbiz, a project could take ages—rewrites, reshoots, promotional tours... Why, he may even settle abroad to cultivate his craft.”
You dropped your sandwich, horror dawning as the words hit you with full force. Your mind went into overdrive. Vil... leaving? Maybe forever? You pictured months, even years of unanswered texts, long-distance video calls, and eventually, just fading away from each other’s lives.
You couldn’t take it! And if he was leaving, you had to make it clear that he’d be leaving someone who would do anything for him.
Which was why, mere minutes before Vil was set to leave, you were charging across campus, heart pounding and absolutely zero plan in mind.
He was standing in front of the Mirror of Darkness, his poise immaculate as always. His entourage surrounded him, but you were zeroed in on only one thing: making sure he knew you would sacrifice anything to keep him.
He was taking a few moments to pose with his usual elegance, utterly unaware that you were barreling toward him with all the grace of a charging rhinoceros.
“Vil!” you yelled, gaining speed as you neared him. He turned, brows raised just slightly before you flung yourself into his arms, nearly sending him toppling over.
“Please,” you blurted, “don’t go!”
Vil’s face softened, and he looked about to speak, but you were already mid-rant, words tumbling out in a fevered rush.
“Vil, I swear, I’ll change my entire skincare routine if you want! Every day, double cleanse, essence, eye cream—I’ll use every serum, sheet mask, and exfoliant you recommend.” You grabbed his hands, clutching them tightly. “And if it’s my diet, I’ll cut out carbs or sugar or whatever you want! I’ll even drink green juice, Vil!”
His eyes widened in something like amusement, but you didn’t give him a chance to interject.
“Please, just don’t leave forever. I don’t care how famous you get or how much international recognition comes your way, or how you’ll become the new face of high fashion—I’ll do anything. I love you, Vil. I’ll do whatever you need me to. Just. Stay."
Vil blinked, clearly stunned, but before you could spiral into another tirade, he leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a soft, breathtaking kiss. It was enough to shut you up instantly, and when he finally pulled back, he looked at you with an exasperated but deeply affectionate smile.
“Darling,” he said, brushing a hand down your cheek with a chuckle, “I’m really only leaving for two weeks.”
“Oh.” You stared up at him, cheeks flushing red as his words sank in.
“Two weeks,” he repeated, laughing softly, and his face lit up in a way you’d never seen before—completely unguarded, genuinely amused, and utterly, hopelessly in love.
Your flustered mumbling was drowned out by his gentle laughter. “So… all that talk about green juice and sheet masks…” His chuckle turned into a full laugh, rich and uninhibited, echoing through the hall as a dozen phones captured the moment.
He gave you a lingering kiss, entirely unconcerned with the crowd, before pressing his forehead to yours. “You really thought I’d leave you forever?” he whispered, a teasing sparkle in his eye. “Oh, my sweet, melodramatic potato.”
You mumbled something unintelligible, hiding your face in his shoulder as your embarrassment finally caught up to you.
By the time he returned two weeks later, it was all anyone on campus could talk about. The candid video of him gazing at you, laugh lines softened, love written all over his face—it had gone viral. Even Vil was taken by surprise at how the internet had swooned over the whole scene, declaring you both the new “It Couple” of NRC.
And if Vil noticed the way his likes had outpaced Neige’s on Magicam, well, he wasn’t above a little bragging.
He’d make a show of it too, asking Mira each morning, “Who’s the most popular couple on Magicam?” And every time, he would grin, smugly satisfied with the answer.
And if anyone dared ask him how he got so much traction on his account lately, he’d just smile, gaze in your direction, and shrug with feigned innocence.
Masterlist
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#vil x reader#vil schoenheit x you#vil
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me, once every three months: wow considering how much garbage i shovel into my body, i should probably try to eat healthier. add some veggies. mayhaps a fruit.
me, the next day: my craving for carbs and protein CANNOT be overstated. i must have bread or i will die.
#liveblogging life#pretty sure im just mishandling my own dietary changes but damn my body loves carbs idk what to tell you#i'm also just. bad at self-restraint#bc it's like i know the bitch in charge and she IS easy to persuade to my cause of pizza for lunch#but im not kidding i really do eat like a sloppy frat boy who has just left home to fend for himself for the first time#and blah blah all food is food OKAY but like. i probably shouldnt survive on cheese crackers and pizza right??? right????#also me every three months: mayhaps... some exercise...#me the next day: hm no thanks lol
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Do you have any healthy snack suggestions for someone who isn't a huge fan of nuts and dried fruit?
FIRST: A 'Snack' is just a small portion of food. It is a signifier of quantity. 'Snack' does not exclude any type or form of food - it just means a lil' bit of food.
SECOND: "Healthy" is entirely relative to every individual.
'Healthy' is just 'Supportive of a complete nutritional profile, taking into account a person's existing diet, dietary needs, and habits of energy expenditure'
For example:
A small, greasy hamburger is an EXCELLENT snack for a highschool athlete who needs to consume an large amount of calories every day to maintain their body. It has lots of fat and protein for muscle recovery and long-term energy, carbs for immediate energy, and some lettuce/tomato/onion for some extra fiber/vitamins/minerals.
On the flip side, if someone already eats a fair amount of of meat and carbs already but has a lower-energy lifestyle, a healthy snack for them might entail leafy greens, beans/legumes and vegetables, because they need more fiber and nutrients in their diet that plants have in abundance.
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If you are allergic to or hate eating something, then it's not healthy to force yourself to eat it anyway. Find a different food, or a different way to prepare it that doesn't cause physical or psychological distress!
Don't like peanuts, but peanut butter is good? Eat peanut butter instead! Hate the texture of whole tomatoes, but tomato sauce is good? Eat tomato sauce instead!
Don't be afraid to finely mince or blend your ingredients into a sauce or smoothie if you feel you need or want to eat something for the nutrients but hate chewing it.
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I'm a big fan of probiotic stuff in general, like fermented foods (kimchi, pickles, sauerkraut, miso, mustard and yogurts), since a strong bacterial colony in the gut has a positive impact on wellbeing for most folks. More importantly, I love the taste.
Buuuuuuuut~ some people are extra sensitive to compounds that are concentrated in fermented foods. Those people should not eat a lot of fermented foods. It's not healthy for them.
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If you're munching snacks out of boredom when you're not actually hungry, something low-fat but satisfyingly crunchy usually does the trick for me. Something I can keep devouring for the sensory delight, gives some good nutrients, and won't make me feel overly full afterward.
Carrots, bell peppers, mung bean sprouts, apples, pears, jicama, radish, pretzels, sweet onions, green papaya, broccoli, popcorn, cucumber, water chestnut, seaweed crisps, coconut chips, any of those fermented foods I mentioned... hell, coleslaw is mostly cabbage with oil and vinegar - plow through that and have a great time!
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If you want a snack because you're hungry, but you just want to tide yourself over until the next meal, eat something that is high in fat and fiber. Fat & Fiber makes you feel full.
Cheese, Yogurt, Butter. Olive oil. Guacamole. Tinned fish. Cream. Fry up an egg. Olives, Hard-boiled eggs - These are all relatively high in fat.
Beans, Legumes, Oats, Leafy Greens, and most Berries are pretty high in fiber, and can pair up with any of the fatty things.
Hell, a slice of cheese pizza is also fine! Buttered toast is fine! A small portion of roast beef from last night's dinner!
Eat a little bit, wait 20 minutes, and see if you're still hungry after that. A normal stomach takes 20-30 minutes to register feeling satiated. (Some people's stomachs don't really feel the difference of hunger vs satiation. Those people need to be more mindful of the quantities of food they eat - both eating too much, AND eating too little!)
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If you want a snack because salty snacks in particular sound fucking amazing, but other fatty and high-protein foods sound kinda gross, Try chugging a glass of water.
If water doesn't resolve the feeling after giving it a few minutes, try something with salt.
Dehydration and not having enough salt in your body both cause salt cravings. Acute thirst is often mistaken as hunger.
Honestly, you can have a handful of chips. Eating a whole family-sized bag of potato chips in one sitting is probably too much salt & fat for most people, but eating a handful here and there is fine. It's just as morally neutral as eating a carrot.
Eat some rice with soy sauce. Eat some pickled okra, or pickled onions. Eat some miso soup. Drink some soup broth. Have some salt-cured meats.
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So: A Healthy Snack!
Ask yourself: Am I hungry, bored, or thirsty?
Ask yourself: What have I been eating lately, and what has my diet lacked, or had in excess? (Fats, Protein, Carbohydrates, Vitamins/Minerals, Water, Salt)
Ask yourself: Am I trying to provide my body with a complete nutritional profile, including fats and carbs - or am I focusing on an imagined 'purity' of food and assigning moral value to eating what diet culture calls healthy so I can be 'good.' (Aka: Do you think instances of eating candy or fatty food is 'being bad'? Stop that.)
Ask yourself: Am I able to rely on my body's signals for hunger and thirst, or do I need to manually track this?
Sometimes a snack is a small portion of leftovers from yesterday.
Sometimes a snack is carefully sliced, cooked, and arranged on a cute plate.
Sometimes a snack is gnawing through half a head of cabbage doused in vinegar.
Sometimes a snack is a handful of shredded cheese eaten from your own palm so you become both the gentle horse and the stablehand feeding it, and that's all okay
#fuckingrecipes#kitchen tips#food#relationship with food#healthy food#snack#snacks#snack ideas#healthy snack#I want chipotle#I SAID A HEALTHY SNACK REBECCA
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