#i love making these bitches do gay shit
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Roy, Lynt, Fenn, & Toa discussing what the fuck they just saw:
(They walked into the s rank lounge and Guy and Jasper were in a... a very compromising position)
#them: 😳⁉️ 😐🤨🤔🏳️🌈⁉️ 👀😗🏳️🌈❓ 👁👁⁉️⁉️ 🤨🏳️🌈⁉️#guy just spilled coffee on his shirt🙄🙄 Jasper was just cleaning him up🙄🙄🙄🙄#court of darkness#i love making these bitches do gay shit#pride month may be over but the gays live on#guy avari#jasper lane#roy invidia#lynt akedia#fenn luxure#toa qelsum
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What Mahito did: Manipulate Junpei into being his friend and then killed him in front of Yuji, laughed about Yuji's desperation to save him, killed Nanami, got Nobara into a coma, destroyed one of Todo's hands
Yuji with Mahito at the end:
What Sukuna did: Threaten to kill Yuji's friend multiple times, ripped Yuji's heart out of his chest and then tricked him into making a Binding Vow that he would have to forget in order to bring him back to life, laughed at Yuji when he desperately begged him to try and save Junpei, told him over and over again that his mere existence would bring destruction simply by being his vessel, destroyed Shibuya and killed countless of innocent people, ditched Yuji to make Megumi his new vessel, then sinked Megumi's soul as deep as he could in darkness in order to keep control of his body, killed Tsumiki, killed Gojo, killed Kashimo, killed Higuruma, killed Choso, almost killed Yuta and pushed him into using Kenjaku's CT to get into Gojo's body, kept praising literally everyone else but Yuji (while still trying to kill them), who he kept talking shit about instead, got pissed when Yuji showed pity and told him that he would kill every single person still left alive that Yuji cared about before finally killing him
Yuji with Sukuna at the end:
#personal#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#sukuita#like whaaaaaat#Sukuna: did much more evil things to Yuji#Yuji: don't worry pookie I love you anyway#Mahito: looks at Yuji the wrong way#Yuji: I will rip you apart piece by piece and watch as the light vanishes from your eyes and-#-I will track down every future reincarnated version of you to do the same over and over until the end of time#like#I don't even like Mahito but my boy Yuji was WILD#he's down BAD for Sukuna I just can't see it any other way bro#also I might have forgotten some thing but tbh Sukuna has done so much shit to poor Yuji I can't remember it all#the point still stands lmao Mahito did a FRACTION of what Sukuna did and got no pity I love my absolutely whipped son#Yuji and Kenjaku both absolutely obsessed with their respective Ryomen twin the apple truly does not fall far from the tree lmaooo#Yuji really said he'd keep living with Sukuna no matter what anyone else might say or think and that he'd stay by his side till the very end#they make me absolutely and completely feral#these bitches gay#(good for them)
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Sobbing somebody save me from alnst
#alien stage#alnst till#alnst#alnst mizi#i can’t take it anymore#these gays are making me depressed#where is sua??#why’d they kill her so soon#why is Ivan now dead to#these aliens are homophobic as shit#the only time I’ve seen this many gays kicking the bucket was with toji from jjk#they need to put the jjk mangá down these aliens got to many ideas from toji#what do you mean the bullets make peoples heads explode?!#that’s fucking sick!!#why do you need that?!#also they clearly didn’t hit Ivan with them#if they did the man would’ve exploded#he would have been looking like gojo from chapter 236#would’ve broke like a dam Kit Kat😭#son of a bitch someone save me from these tragic gays#does till even like Ivan back?!?!?#like how does till feel about this??#man is going through one of Hercules trials I swear#till don’t worry baby I’ll save you!!#I don’t know how but I will!!#also mizu are u ok?#that was a dumb question of course your not#aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#also Ivan calling his love shallow aaaahhhh#LET ME OUT!!!!!!!
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my father telling me how scared he was when i ran away from the house but i cant express how scared i was 2 b in the house
hey, whats up w/that?
#whenever we ‘hang out’ he likes 2 make the topic as depressing as possible by always talking abiut the past#& it is the most annoying shit ever i will not lie BC I DONT WANT 2 TALK ABOUT DEATH & THE ABUSE EVERY TIME I SPEAK 2 U#yk? thag makes sense in my head#anyways he started talking abiut how terrified he was when i had ran away multiple times a couple yrs ago & when i say a couple i mean#i have no idea how long ago bc memory is a bitch#but it had 2 b like middle school - sophmore?#multiple times & like i just wanna shake him bc LITERLLY WHAT & WHO DO U THINK I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM#GODDAMNN I H8 BING THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS HOUSE WHO CAN EXPRESS EMOTIONS & NOT LET THEM EFFECT HOW I VIEW THE OTHER#‘oh u ran in the park u ran in the park’ i didnt run in the fuckinggppaaarrkrkkkk AAAAAAAAAA I MET A NICE LADY WHO HAD A GOAT IN THE#SPARTMENTS I FRIECIENTED OFTEN WHEN I WAS YOUNGER#i cant express how safe the goddamn goat lady & her kid made me feel vs my parents who started hunting 4 me#like ive been dragged home so many times im not going through that shit again#i miss the goat the mom & the kid we were just chilling @ like midnight 4 a bit#did this turn in2 a vent? idk#i do this a lot ill prolly delete this soonish when im kore calm#bc rn i want 2 chuck bricks in my laundry machine & watch them fly out & hit whatever#im going back 2 watching anime if i have 2 talk 2 1 other person i will actually explode#like irl person not online the silly gay ppl in my phone r super cool & amazing & i love them#im srry 4 bing a dick btw#i cant explain it i mean i could but i cant im just my brain is telling me eveyr1 h8s me & MAN i h8 it when it does#so im just frightened & by golly & am i havign a cheery time yipyipyip#typing in tags is sm easier than in a post bc i dont think most ppl read tags lol#the more i think about my past the more i wonder wtf am i doing here#bc how did i even get out of the house in the 1st place & then ontop of that was able 2 hide#like what……#bc they were fucking grabbing me n shit & they have CARS like i didnt go in the park i walked the sidewalks HOW DID I MOT GET CAUGHT??#MULTIPLE TIMES??? LIKE I ‘ran away’ MULTIPLE TIMES#i didnt exactly run away tho bc i didnt want them 2 file police shit i didnt eant 2 deal w/that & also hirt the pll i stayed over w/#so i always went back. obviously blehhh#ug hj hhhh my heads hurting again this is like the 4th day in a row :((
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thinking of u today angel i hope u know how loved u were / are
#shit happens#personal#</3#i miss my dead friends#period slay#I wish I could call you and hear your voice but all I have is the voice memo of the day before I moved and it makes my chest ache to hear it#but I don’t wanna forget your voice so I play it from time to time#I really do miss you#u were one of my favorite ppl and u always will be I’ll tell my fucking kids abt u bro fr#u meant so much to me more than you will ever know#u showed me true friendship and real authentic love and not even ina gay way#u taught me to not make myself small for others comfortability#it’s not my job to shrink myself to your standards world#I am allowed to take up space bc I’m worthy and loved#and u taught me that#u were a real one for my momma and I miss having u over for holidays#thanksgiving and my birthday will never be the same#u even came over Christmas and Christmas Eve bc u were just that bitch#I love you forever and always
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something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.
#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love#what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it#why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties#of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often#so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk#and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore#i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them#. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec#but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd#but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE.#OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL.#and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness#but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart.#this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it#that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too#and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch#now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it.#because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do#something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope#and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude#this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post#ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting#all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever
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having a group of gay friends where this is their first group of gay friends apparently means they don’t find my “our one token straight friend is like a little gay” jokes funny apparently aksjsjs or when i bitch specifically about the gay dating scene near chicago being dominated by annoying white ex theater gays, they immediately get into like “well there are messy gay poc” yeah i’m aware of that, i’m talking about a really specific issue with the gays in this area pls keep up
#it is a well accepted fact that the gay scene in chicago has a large annoying white gay section who are the Messiest & Cringiest bitches#that have ever lived and every gay scene has A Group that annoys the shit out of everyone else in the scene okay aksjsns#all the lesbians in my area are either married with kids or constantly at a club and i know this bc i have dated lesbians in this area#half the stereotypes about gay people in illinois are about the ex theater gays or party gays in boystown like aksjdjdj come on#i cannot be the only one in tune with the Community here#also if u don’t agree that our straight friend who is always mentioning female celebs she’d go gay for wouldn’t fall in love with some#lady version of sam heughan when she wears an outlander mask to work every day u r just factually incorrect okay#rani makes text posts no one will read#but we were talking about these really specific messy white gay people we know & it’s like yeah so one of them already having a committed#partner 2 weeks after filing for divorce & all of them being like high powered lawyers that spend their free time taking their kids to see#wicked at the oriental theater is just a really specific type of gay person that i’ve dated a lot aksksjsj#and also they’ve been in my friend groups. they’re the only ones with cars everyone else takes the train everywhere & they refuse to go on#dates outside of chicago city limits like they’re gonna get hate crimed the moment they step off the el#which is double funny bc like do u think i live in fucking waukegan do i look like i make that much money no ur not gonna get hate crimes in#this democratic stronghold area like every other person that walks in has a pride pin or pink hair ur good buddy.
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STUPID ASS FOX I LOVE HIIIIMMMM
#I ALWAYS let go a giggle or cover my face like a 14 y/o teenager at this little scene of him#STUPID BITCH SMILE HE LOOKS SO EXCITED FOR ROBBERY WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT#but he does it for the poor and that's so sweet of him but of coooouuurse he has fun doing it as well#HIS EYES!! THE WAY HIS HEAD GO UP SO SMOOTHLY!! HE IS SO STUPID I WANT TO KISS HIM#i insult him a lot but it's because he makes me WAY too happy and that's weird for me#but i love him so so much it's so pathetic#the funniest part of that shot is that right after we have him crossdressing to go and tell Jonh that he has a beautiful face#that's just so gay of him tbh#what a bi icon
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10 years of my life spent in this cursed place...
#to my 14 year old self#bitch you still don't have your shit together#but at least you're confidently gay and hot#and you also have some really cool pets n stuff#and you have a better relationship with your parents#you're almost 25#that always seemed like an impossible goal#but you're gonna make it#and it lowkey sucks but not everything sucks#you touch grass a lot now and it helps#and you also still love naruto even tho it's a shitty series lol#and you're still cringe but being cringe is fun now#being 14 really fucking sucks but being 24 is more bearable#you can buy alcohol now#you're still a virgin but i think you prefer it that way#and you're in college now#doing poorly but still you're there#working towards a distant future#idk what we're working towards but we keep going#life is hard but it's okay#you'll be okay <3
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squidward eye twitch.gif
#about to lose it#dipshit and mom woke me up at 8 am this morning. to go to a 1 pm appointment. that is one hour and a half away#so they ended up there two hours early for no fucking reason#i didnt go of course but bitch i work till 1 am why the fuck are you slamming doors and hooping and hollering at 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING#and i called and told them that nfjdkgnfkdjgng a lot nicer obv but i still pissed dad off#apperantly he was like i can do what i want in my house#yeah you sure can dipshit so can i#so bet that my gay ass is gonna be waking him up more often when i get off work#i love making him mad like yess bestie feel a fraction of the rage ive felt since i was 10#punch my fucking brother and get away with it yesss cheat on my mom and abuse her for years yayyyyyy#there is so much rage and no one is mad but me#everyone else just accepts it and lets it go bc we cant do shit about it#and im like for fucks sake where is the rage? why arent you screaming like me??????????????????????#why am i the one dying from this shit?
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fox news the absoloute Belothed fuck those bastards
#..they think the core ayudience is children dont they#like one despite the nane p sure this isnt a movie marketed towards batbie but rather those who grew up with barbie#so you already got One major thibg wrong#and Then you also have the thought that something can have Gender Themes and kids can Still watch it#which ohohoh they probably Dont like that last one now do they?#because they think kids shouldnt be exposed to queer shit even if that woulda been really useful to second grade mes#‘’do i like her? no thats stupid girls cant like girls’’ train of thought like darlings how the fuck do you think gay people are made#Alphabet Mafia doest come to us at the cusp of when we turn 13 and say hey bitch we turnin you gay#we were quite litterally born with the alphabet soup gene engrained within us lads#queer people are people and children can be queer god knows i was and yknow what children despite probably not being the#target audience (update; looked it up they arent its pg 13 children Can watch it with parental guidance but it isnt For Them)#could definately benefit from potentientally knowing a bit more about themselves#also i love how an Entire Movie Site said something Forgot its ‘Core Audience’ without even doing a simple google search as to what the#Core Audience even Is and then Fox News a popular american news outlet decided to Publish That Information without doing a simple ten#second search themselves like dude#by laws of journalism its technecally a legal move they know this they reported it as They Said That but by basic comment sense laws they#re making it seem like the barbie movie ‘forgot its core audience’ as thats litterally the message theyre spreading#like people hate on fox news for being stupid buy like no these asshokes know Exactly what theyre doing if yall send me a different article#i can probably go more in depth about it like these bitches are playing with words facts and the rules of journalism loose and fast to the#point of they can market what theyre saying as Technically true (technically they Did say that) but while still very blatantly Wrong and#the facts say its wrong common sense says its wrong a simple google search says its wrong#but from a lot of the shit theyve done theyve done it in ways where they technically are following journalism rules while being#bad journalism hell you can barely even say that these fuckers know Exactly what theyre doing theyre popular with the right for a Reason#their journalism from a moral and factual point of view is objectively awful but from some of the tidbits ive seen theyre clever evil#bastards emphasis on the Evil Bastard part on how they present it like some of the shit ive seen technically always follow some loophole or#some turn of phrase to where they have deniability#because yes the christian site Did say that and ‘’theyre just reporting on it’’ despite them knowing repostibg on it gives platform for that#shit something thats factually incorrect because its pg-13 children arent the main audience plus barbie itself has always been compratively#liberal in its marketing and nothing in the trailer alludes to it being targetted towards christians#and the mainstream us the thing theyre marjeting towards Is fairly liberal so
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I don’t like when my brain forces me to think up scenarios with lico that don’t involve me being a major bitch to him what do you MEAN I actually like him????? unheard of concept
#skittles.txt#r:lico#unfortunately thinking thoughts#and unfortunately said thoughts are not only domestic but specific to a current situation I’m facing 👎#‘current situation ' knots in my hair. it’s a situation to ME though bc combs are evil. gotta love autism#this should probably be its own post but I’m EMBARRASSED so it’s going here. lico went to school to become a hairdresser right#and brushing knots out of my hair is PAINFUL. painful enough as is but then u add autism . that shits a nightmare#so I’m just thinking of. him really taking his time and putting a lot of care into trying to brush them out :(#giving k*sses every time I wince. ok#after a few times of him doing this he’d start to insist on brushing my hair whenever he’s able to#he’d make up some weird ass flirty excuse but in reality he just wants to take care of me. gay bitch#my face is actively heating up as I type this I need to kill him
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“My platonic soulmate, light of my life; say what you just said again.” Robin gasped, looking at Steve in a mix of confusion and awe. He shook his head, not understanding what she was on about.
“What? I just said was everyone finds people attractive despite gender. So I think a lot of men are hot and would date them if I wasn’t straight. It’s the same with you right?” Steve asked, running a hand through his hair. He didn’t understand her confusion, this was how everyone worked.
Robin put a fist to her mouth, looking like she was trying to hold a laugh. “No, babe. I don’t find men remotely attractive and I would never want to date one. Because I am a lesbian.”
“Well yes because you like girls! Just like I do. I don’t get the confusion here Robs.” He huffed, leaning back on the couch.
They had been having their weekly movie night and bitch fest when Steve had mentioned wanting to date one of the lead guys. He had then lamented how if only he was gay he could.
“So wait, don’t you think you might be gay if you wanna date a guy? Because I promise straight men do not want to date guys.” Robin pointed out, trying to understand.
“Because Robin, you know this! I like girls, boobies!! That makes me straight.” He nudged her, like she just wasn’t connecting the dots.
Robin sat up straighter to look at her best friend. She forgot sometimes with how cool he was with her that this is all new to him. “Steve, have you ever heard of bisexuality? It means you like both men and woman and people that don’t identify as either.” She asked quietly, putting her hand on top of his. He looked at her, eyes wide.
“That’s an actual thing?? Wait I’m not straight then? Not everyone feels like this?” Steve’s brain was racing with all the new possibilities and how silly he had been. Robin shook her head.
“Wait. Holy shit. Robin, I wanna date Eddie. I want to date him so hard, I wanna kiss him. And marry him! Fuck wait that’s not legal. But all the other stuff.” He stood straight up, almost bowling Robin off the couch.
“I’ve gotta go! I got to tell him I’m not straight!” He yelled, grabbing his keys and running out the door. Robin sighed, getting comfy on his couch and drinking the rest of the wine in her glass. Leave it to him to speed run his sexuality crisis and get a partner before her. At least she could stop listening to Eddie whine over being in love with a straight man.
#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#robin buckley#Speed running a sexuality crisis Steve Harrington
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was always wondering why I could never let any of my self inserts look like me & always assumed it was bc dysphoria but I'm realizing its bc there is no One Me and these Not Mes all want the ocs to look like themselves, none of them sharing an appearance w this body... -_-
#smudgy.txt#n eden being the main self insert i could never decide on what to do w him bc. no one can agree on anything#make him trans no i dont relate to that make him super short like this body noooo make him taller he needs to be taller#so im like. setting ground rules on his character. bc holy shit guys. i love u but.. shut tf up!! <3#also im going back to making different self insert ocs instead of just using eden for the same reasons#like fine hes Mine yall can have ur own gay bitches what ever#i got so attached to eden & havent done different ocs in a while so im not used to it but its exciting!!#i love to making characters#plus after seeing how ceru & chosies designs came out im eager to design more
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You people are so easy lol
Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing
And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had
Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter
And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"
#you can just say ‘date found family’ and all the gays will be like WWWWEEEWOWOOWOEOWOOOOWWOOOOO#and its correct every time im one of them#these bitches are sickening absolutely sickening#i dont think i said anything too special here like nothing no ones said 50 times before already but i do wanna emphasize something here#date is a good dad he is a kind figure he cares for mizuki and puts in effort that her bio parents simply dont#i feel like with a mix of flanderization between fans and aini date is just remembered as an incompetent loser who jerks off and thats that#and its like yeah hes lame and makes penis jokes its stupid but i mean hes a pretty complex character#hes the protagonist of a mystery story and the center of the whole conflict and like is a smart guy#and he has big feelings like the whole theme is about love and untraditional families and date being kinda a loser is the point#its about redemption and love being what keeps us going and how someone who feels he is undeserving of love and family can still have those#things and the traditional structure of families means nothing#the okiuras being a nuclear heterosexual biological family is very much the point and them being so dysfunctional is the point#and the fact that date is a significantly better parent to mizuki than they are is something neither of them know how to deal with#because theyre taught that you have to stick to the script and whatever they have going on isnt allowed to be real and loving#and idk the fact that date is someone whos always had nothing and feels like thats how it should stay its like#that some pretty big shit right there some pretty complex emotions to have and yeah if i gotta deal with date being reduced to a porno freak#who is too irresponsible to take care of a child im gonna eat glass#it really sucks they went that direction in aini god it sucks so hard its like did they even pay attention to their own fucking story ughhh#yeah im writing the Kaname date defense case what about it
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SLIM PICKINS - LN4
summary : in which y/n is over her pathetic love life and lando sees an obvious way to fix her situation. inspired by slim pickins by sabrina carpenter ifykyk😘
listen up : no warnings !! i don’t write smut so sorry lol
word count : 600
⋆。‧˚⋆
“I’m literally going to die alone!” I groan and lay back on my bed, on the phone with my friend.
She laughs on the other side, “You’re so dramatic!”
“I am not! These are just my thoughts.” She makes the point that my phone is constantly blown up by men, “Yes well they’re all douchebags! All I want is a boy who’s jacked and kind!”
“What about Lando, then? You always complain but Lando Norris is the definition of that!” I groan into the phone. My infamous best friend, the subject of my fantasy’s and utterly and completely off limits.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it, many times. “No chance.”
“But why!?”
I sigh, “He’s just… my friend! I don’t even see him like that.”
I hear her scoff dramatically, “You don’t see him as jacked or kind!? Do we need to get your eyes checked?”
I hang up.
⋆༺
There’s a boy in my room an hour later, laying next to me after putting out in five minutes. I text Lando to call me with an ‘emergency’ so he’s gone as quick as possible.
Lando laughs over the phone, “That bad, huh?”
I fall onto my bed, screaming into my pillow, “He didn’t even know the difference between their, there, and they are.” I hear his laugh on the other side, biting my lip from screaming even more because he sounds so damn sexy.
“Sorry love…” fuck, that nickname. “ever tried it with a girl? It’s fun.” He’s joking to boost my mood but I just frown.
“I think the Lord forgot my gay awakening.”
⋆༺
I walk with Lando to the elevator, drinks and shopping bags in hand, “So, what? You’re just gonna keep moaning and bitching until a man falls into your lap?”
“The good ones are all deceased or taken.” I shrug, “So yes. I mean seriously- what’s a girl to do? Every man is evil and lazy but I gotta get off somehow.” Lando chokes on his drink.
“Shit, Y/n. Tell it to me straight then.” I roll my eyes as we exit the elevator. We walk his room, swinging my bags and throwing them onto the couch, “So what is your type then?”
I plop down on his bed, laying back and staring at the ceiling, “Any nice man who breathes? Someone who’s jacked and kind!” He laughs, “I’m serious!”
He’s still laughing, I throw a pillow at him, “Come on!” he shakes his head.
“Lando!” I watch him shake his head and throw the pillow back. “What is so funny?”
“I’m jacked and kind.” He shrugs, unscrewing his water bottle top and taking a swing.
I lean back on my hands, tilting my head to look at my best friend, “Lando.”
He's still drinking water when he pulls up his shirt, revealing his *ahem* jacked body. Fuck.
Look, seeing Lando’s face and arms every day is enough to keep me up at night. But this? THIS!? I’m fucked. At least I wish I was (by him).
“You’re staring.” He teases, dropping the fabric and putting his water down. I am staring. And I do not have any plans to stop.
“Lando.” I warn as he steps closer, a slow smirk forming on his face.
“Y/n.” He mocks me in that sexy voice he does. “Say the words, love. I’m there.” His knees knock mine, he’s standing right in front of me and looking down with those green eyes of his.
“Please.” I whisper, and he’s on me in an instant.
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando x reader#lando imagine#slim pickins#sabrina carpenter
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