#i love her im insane about her i always have been
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TCH!READER ON THE INTERNET.
MASTERLIST | Basketball Player!Rafe & Model!Female Reader
*This is during the seventh chapter + if you see mistakes then don't mind em, i'll fix it tomorrow.*
coupleofnews
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coupleofnews Rafe Cameron Engaged to Model Y/N Y/L/N: A Surprise Announcement
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username01 YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME???
username02 I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD CHEER CRY BC MY MAN IS OFFICIALLY TAKEN
username03 IM CONVULSING ON THE FLOOR AS WE FUCKING SPEAK
username04 @/username03 SAME BFF SAME
sza Congratulations to the cutest 🩷🎉 I wish you two the best. It's so good to see such a powerful, beautiful, talented and sweet WOC cuff a white man. Rooting for y'all 🧸🫢
username05 @/sza MOM GET OUT OF IG AND RELEASE THAT ALBUM
username06 anybody think it's weird 🤯
username07 @/username06 No your right. It's too soon. I'm sure she forced him
coupleofnews @/username07 You're** if you wanna drag someone at least do it right
username08 it's not even be a month since they've been tgt and they alr getting married?? bitch me too
username09 i know damn well they've been tgt for a while
username10 @/username09 exactly 👍 cause ain't no way YN would get married so easily
username11 does YN and Rafe know this?
coupleofnews @/username11 Your ass is about to know something else
username12 @/coupleofnews PLEASE 😭 COP don't play abt her infos
yn_updates coupleofnews js know that if ure lying ... 🪓
coupleofnews @/yn_updates NO HO IM SO SERIOUS ABOUT THIS!!!!
username13 @/coupleofnews how did you even get that info
coupleofnews @/username13 Someone in YN's entourage said it to me
username14 @/coupleofnews W H A T
ynmodelz
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ynmodelz Gagged?
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username01 MAMA U SO FCKING FINE
username02 face so crazy i might switch lanes
username03 how are you pretty funny kind and perfect
username04 aren't you at a event rn
ynmodelz @/username04 ... okay stalker ☝️
username05 the way she's bagging every pretty white men on this earth
username06 @/username05 rafe, elordi, mescal, chalamet and that one sexy ex
aishapatel girl kissing right now in my bed
username07 @/aishapatel AISHA YN REVIVAL OMG LIFE IS SO GOOD
ynmodelz @/aishapatel breakup with your husband first ☹️
jjmaybank @/ynmodelz every time i catch on instagram you're gay-ing
username04 IM BACK AND YOURE GETTING MARRIED?????
username08 I NEVER DOUBTED U YN!!! I KNEW U COULD CUFF RAFE UP
username09 u must be a magician of some kind to cuff RAFE CAMERON
arianagrande congrats to you lovie ☁️💞✨
sza So happy for you! Wishing you the best
kiaracarrera face card so insane i want you right now
bellahadid Ohmygod YN ❤️ I miss you and congrats on the engagement ❤️
username10 @/bellahadid missing the days where yn and bella would vlog their day before a runway 😭
username11 she must have forced him. why did he pick a brown girl
username12 @/username11 He wanted to be woke for sure
username13 @/username11 how could he pick her when chiara is right in front of him
aishapatel @/username13 so pathetic i started laughing at yall
tyla Invite me to the wedding please sister 🤍
username14 every time i see her she's getting skinnier and smaller
username15 GIRL UR NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT I HEARD
username15 SOMEONE SNITCHED ON U
yn_updates
liked by rihanna, topper and others
yn_updates THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED OMG IM LITERALLY FREAKING OUT OMG OMG OMG
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username01 NOBODY LOVES THEM LIKE I DO
username02 the first pic represents them so well
username03 @/username02 i love how she's always rolling her eyes at him
username02 @/username03 and he eats that shit up for breakfast
username04 the way he kept his hands on her ALL NIGHT is pretty insane
username05 i love when pretty people are in relationships
username06 Im so obsessed with them
username07 HE MET AISHA!!! OH ITS SO SERIOUS YALL! THEYRE HAVING BABIES
username08 @/username07 what do u mean?
username09 @/username08 Aisha used to meet YN's bfs all the time until she stopped.... it's been years and now she's meeting him.
username10 @/username08 she also said on live that she wasn't going to meet and be friendly w any of them if she didn't see a future between yn and the person
username11 he's a bad boyfriend. he's not checking on her
username02 @/username11 huh?
username11 @/username02 she's clearly suffering and he's not doing anything
topper YN Cameron... I can't believe it 😳
username12 NOW WHO SNITCHED
username13 @/username12 what if i said chiara?
username14 @/username13 but how would she even know
username07 @/username14 she's white and pretty... that tells you everything
username15 and i just know she makes him giggle and kick his feet
username16 and I just know YN sends him 1000 memes
username09 and I just know they make playlist and pinterest boards about themselves (YN's idea)
username17 and i js know that when they argue they use Aisha to communicate "Rafe asking if you're okay"
username18 oh and i know she stops him from doing smth stupid every time with a "babe, no" and then he pouts 🥺🥺
#tch#rafe cameron imagine#rafe imagine#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x reader#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#obx x reader#outer banks fanfiction#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x you#drew starkey#drew starkey smut#x reader#smau#social media#rafe cameron smau#obx smau#drew starkey x reader#the contracted heart
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I am home now, I can finally decompress and talk about tonight's episode. I'm going to start with Sam because, she's my girl and then next I'll do Jammer. And yes I'm going to talk about Sam x Evan, if you don't like that I can't help you.
This is the first time, in a hot minute, we've addressed Sam's identity issue. Her lack of real connections outside of her friend base. There's something about that that is worrisome. Everyone has their connections now K has the wolf, Jammer has the fire salamander, Evan has the Bear. We could assume that Sam's is going to be the bat or maybe the goat. What worries me, is that the implications of the next episode, from the misleading trailer at the end. Shows that its going to be about the sea creature and trying to ecaspe that. I have this feeling that something bad's going to happen involving Sam. I could be picking up on nothing but the Vibes Feel off. I feel like that phone scene was just a step.
I feel like we're going to have more scenes, of this lack of connection happening. We have 3 eps left, that just enough time for something to go horribly wrong. Especially with Sam being the heart of the group.
The reason why it weighing on me is because- Sam needed someone outside the group to check on her a few eps back. It was right after Evan killed B. I feel like her friendships are going to come into questions because- How much of her friendship does she believe they love her for her. Evan and her have been having a lot of hearts to hearts. An just like how evan broken down an express those complicated emotions when Jammer got his magical connections.
I can see Sam having a moment where this darkness in her heart. This lack of community comes and tries to swallow her and her connections.
Now onto SamEvan or EvanSam- listen idc if it meant to be friend coded or not. If Sam and Evan do kiss im breaking into the drop off studio dome and stealing tabby. The tension between them is insane!!
It feels like Evan is one minute, alway from decalring his fucking knight like devotion to Sam. EVERYTIME they have a heart to heart, Evan gives off the vibe that he wants to say 'I would kill so many people for you.'
I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS!!! ITS LIKE CRACK!!! PUMPED DIRECTLY INTO MY VIENS!! I dont even know how a relationship between Sam and Evan would work!? Sam and Evan have the most shittist relationship tracklist. It feels like they could either be the 'we dated for like a week but it fwkt better as friends' type or the 'we've been so casual about our relationship, moved in together and live this very domesticated life even though we arent actually married.'
It also doesnt help Aabira and Erika are bother just as bad as me, their facial jounery gets me acting crazy!!
I just want Sam to get everything, she needs and wants.
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I heard we’re talking about my sweet lil pickle :]
I love Raven to pieces she is so sweet and kind and also such a huge badass. Like she’s a little ball of fluff to the good people around her and a nightmare to the assholes. She’s so brave and talented I love her very much 🥰
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something something shizukas expressions never facing up like leas does shows how the events she had to experience and live under changed her to be a more closed and defensive person even when expressing emotions that should portray superiority (eg smug) something something
#big dlc spoilers down under in the tags ok ok#crosscode#crosscode shizuka#crosscode spoilers#kinda not really#ramble#could also be to make her look more collected/conniving#though a lot of her expressions she looks actively pissed so idk about that#tangent but i think tronnys expressions work really well for that#its especially noticable when lea confronts him#even more so than sidewells expressions i think#probably because of his eyes#god i love this games character potraits they show so much#probably my favorite game art i think#i think i mandela affected myself into thinking shizuka had an exact copy of leas smug expression at some point#but i couldnt find it on the sprite sheet#which is where this ramble came from#god i hope im not being a dunce#it could have been me mixing it up with the fed up expressions instead#also also shizukas body not moving/expressing as much could also be seen as the same thing#this is also like all headcanon/looking too deep into artwork probably but also no its not im always correct even when im insane
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the little kid i work with escaped the ukraine two years ago. my family immigrated in the 50s/60s to escape the turkish occupation in my papou’s village in greece. and it is both immensely heartbreaking and also insanely healing to help someone the way my grandparents weren’t helped when they got to this country.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[my grandfather didn’t go to school. ever. because he spoke no English. he couldn’t read it. and the enl services were… definitely not about#to help a Greek man who only spoke Greek in the age without the internet at all. my yiayia was a brilliant woman. she could’ve easily owned#a business. she was a phenomenal seamstress with such an insane talent for practicality and logic. she was so left brained. my papou was#such a creative with a tendency for logic. he was practical but always the one who was sillier. they eventually spoke very good English#actually. my papou always sort of had an accent (Greek accents feel like home to me) and my yiayia always did. they were incredible people.#and every single day i think about how much MORE opportunity they would’ve both had had they been born under the permitting circumstances.#my yiayia only had a 5th grade education and that incensed my grandfather. getting to take care of and help a kid who otherwise wouldn’t#have someone care THIS MUCH. especially a kid who’s foreign. i look up words in Russian and she tells me how she says them. i teach her#words in Greek because she likes the way they sound. i just wish my grandparents had been given the same opportunity. just the ability to#have someone in front of either of them and was like ‘hey i know it’s tough and scary but im here and i get it’. I’m not working#this week because i have so much to take care of. but just thinking out loud. i love my job. but more than anything this particular#opportunity has been everything to me.]
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Swifties prove everyday that they’re the dumbest people on the internet and that’s really saying something cuz I’ve dealt directly with blarkes
#1) swifites always being racist toward Beyoncé#2) swifities doxxing a Palestinian girl and sending her info to the IDF cuz she said that there were better options for Time’s PotY#3) swifites beefing with North West – a literal child – cuz they thot she “shaded” Taylor#4) swifites commenting snake emojis on Kim K’s insta posts thinking they’re doing something other than driving up her engagement and lining#her pockets#t swift#also these are all just annoying things I’ve seen happen TODAY#I cannot wait until we are released from whatever govt psyop we’ve been under for the past few years cuz I’m over this endless string of#swift propaganda 🔫🔫🔫 it’s literally insane and no matter how many times I block people or hit not interested in posts I am still forced to#see shit about her like it is never ending and it’s so fucking exhausting like the way white women in particular make being a swifite their#whole personality is so embarrassing!!! THIS EOMAN CANNOT SING YALL!! AND IM TIRED OF BEING NICE AND SAYING SHE HAS DEVENT SONG WRITING#SKILLS CUZ SHE DOESNT!! EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS MEDIOCRE AT BEST!!! SHE CANNOY SING AND HER LYRICS ARE THE MUSICAL EQUIVALENT OF WATTPAD FF!#I am so tired of this bullshit and I used to be able to find reprieve in football but no more!! cuz her and her annoying cult have#infiltrated that too like this shit is annoying and I feel like I’m going crazy cuz she’s everywhere and not in an organic way. In a very#strategic marketing capitalistic way and I love The Wilds but I hate how the fandom has like woven TS into everything there too like#I think I’m gonna commit a crime. I think imma toss someone through a brick wall cuz I’m losing it
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It's kinda funny because w/ my Zeus kid OC (who I've been thinking about renaming as Araceli, 'cause it means altar of the sky, apparently, which I like 'cause sky-themed-ish but also like. A little bit I wanted something that meant cloud the way Coral's name means... Coral) the implication is that she takes after her father to an almost mirroring degree because I developed her and my other PJO OCs (who also all got retconned into an OG work) at the same time I was playing around with my ideas on the Big Six, and the gist at the time was supposed to show how the Big Six could've turned out if they weren't so weird.
So the dynamics of the friendship was supposed to be very similar to the dynamics of Big Six's relationship to each other (e.g. Mary having a major crush on Hera's "representative" but also being attracted to literally every other person that walked by, Nico being the soberminded big brother figure, etc). It's also one of the reasons Mary would get angry whenever someone would compare to her dad, because similarly I think Zeus would get angry if someone compared him to his dad.
And then eventually as I got older and the daydream moved around with whatever obsession I had at the time, the characters and general storyline began to change away from that in some ways but core features sort of stayed and so I ended up with a version of Zeus that ignores his daughter's pleas for help because he loves her but her pain hurts him because he can't do anything about it and it's his fault she's suffering.
She got this intensity from him, it's ingrained into the way it's ingrained in him. But he was able to rebuild the world according to his own needs and wants and beliefs. And she can't really do that. So he doesn't have any advice he can give her when she's on her knees begging for help with all the noise and pain in her head. He doesn't know what to do! It's like he can just go and rip it out of her.
But she's suffering because she's different and she's weird and she knows it and she knows it's his fault which is why she's asking but he just doesn't know and he can't handle watching her suffering and listening to her cry when there is no helpful answer to give her because "I don't know" isn't going to fix it.
He's supposed to fix things, he's supposed to have the answers. He's king of the world, by damn! He's a problem solver. He supposed to have a solution, and a million backup solutions. But he doesn't! There's nothing he can do to make the noise stop because truth be told, the noise never really stopped for him! It just got easier and quieter. So he turns away from her because he loves her and he's failing her and he can't handle that.
But also in the same breath, I think he recognizes similar aspects of himself in Jason, who isn't even asking for help, and fucking despises him for it, lol.
✨ Girl Dad ✨
#could be a jupiter vs zeus thing too#zeus is more in touch with his emotions so he's able to love his kids and empathize with their pain#but jupiter eschews emotion to focus fully on logic and rationale and winds up being disgusted by anything that shows he's flawed#like i think zeus definitely hates any implication that he's flawed#but in this case it's more like while his inability to stop his daughter's suffering makes him feel flawed#his love for his daughter takes precedence so he doesn't hate her for it. he just hates himself for not being able to fix it.#but jupiter doesn't really have that affection for jason because maybe he just lacks affection im general#so jason showcasing any behaviour that may indicate an inherent flaw in jupiter is seen as despicable#and so jason and any internal/external pain he may experience because of this flaw isn't viewed favourably#it could also be that jason is more willing to call him on his shit where mary/araceli was just like bitch i hate you so much please kill m#like she definitely doesn't agree with all her dad's actions but she kind of gets where he's coming from with certain things#where i don't think jason is able to view that in other people either#like all three of them view things in a very black and white autistic sort of way#but jason lacks the cognitive empathy to understand why a person may feel or behave a certain way#i love when i go insane in the tags#thats fun#anyway#happy talks about his stories#happy talks pjo#zeus (pjo)#jason grace#i will come up with a tag for my zeus girl at some point#also for araceli the original character has always been seen as hispanic/latino which is why i wanted a name that made that obvious#so if anyone has any hispanic/latino sky-themed names they'd like to share lemme know because the baby name websites were very short
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......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier
#IM KIDDING ALKJNFGADFBG IM SORRY MARK BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO NAMED THIS PLAYLISTTTTTT#actually you know what on the slim to none chance i submit this at Just the right time and it gets a bunch of notes#and he somehow does actually see this post#(hi sappy/backstory tm incoming feel free to continue scrolling lmao>>)#mark you helped my mom so much#she was sick for 5 years and in that time as she got weaker and more tired what she had an abundance of was Time#and as someone who since losing her has now also become extremely depressed i underrstand Even More how horrible that kind of Time can be#to have and go through and be frustrated and devastated and bored out of your mind#but some of my friends started me in watching your videos#and she was my best friend#i shared everything with her#so of course i shared your videos too#and we would watch a lot of them together but you also have so many on your channel from so far back in addition to the new ones#that she had plenty to go back through and watch on her own while i was at school#we always felt like your humor and mentality fit right in with the rest of the household like you were a longtime friend#or neighbor from just down the road who we spoke with regularly or smth idk it was just so easy for your videos to be engaging and upliftin#she could have a playlist on to fall asleep to and be distracted from everything coming up...and that means more#than i could ever begin to thank you for#i think fnaf had been one of the things id been introduced to you through..and then tiny box tim we loved tiny box tim#back when you were first getting into making shorts and improving equipment/editing quality i always thought it would be so cool#if we somehow ran into one another on the street somewhere and i could offer to help#because i was watching those videos too! i want to make them as cool as possible and im going to school for it i know tips and tricks#and by now im sure youve probably surpassed what i know haha the INSANELY awesome and frankly gorgeous cinematography and impressive#but anyway... i know she had those videos to fill the Time when i was at school#and sometimes when i wasnt but when i was too exhausted#and i know you made her laugh and smile through it all#and that means everythingto me#ok well thhat got sappy fast sorry everyone christ#ive thought so many times over the years about trying to write something in the comments on a video or send an email or something and like#i feel bad same time cos i know soooo many people have similar stories or treat youtubers/celebrities like theyre actual saviors and angels
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#rant warning#i feel like im going insane rn#the day before yesterday was my birthday#and one of my friends came over a bit early to help with dinner prep#one thing led to another and she lifted me onto the counter & started going down on me#and then other ppl started to arrive so we had to stop#important context: i have not been topped in several months#and she is the only person im hooking up with rn who will top me#and i am demi so finding new people fucking sucks and takes forever#but shes got 3 partners and i am not one of them#so she does not really have time for me#and i feel so gross for wanting her so badly#but i cant stop thinking about her#and the worst part is idk if it's bc i want Her or just bc i wanna get fucked#and i feel gross#i love her a lot obvs#but i could love a lot of ppl#i just dont rn#ughuguhhuguhghhgh#i miss her a lot but we mostly only see each other in group settings these days#see again: she does not have time#but also i probably am contributing to this bc i never ask her to hang out bc im always scared im bothering her#which i know im not#but im so scared#i hate that im like this#anyway i just have a massive case of blue balls and i feel like a toddler crying about being told no more appy slices
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so it's like this.
you're young and you're scared and you're trapped in the feywild (happens to the best of us) with the love of your life. You're a half-elf and she's a fullblooded elf but you don't think about it very much because you're barely surviving day to day. And you get offered a deal to get yourself home again, and you take it. And the price of your freedom is that you leave her still trapped there, alone.
And then five years pass. And you age a century in that time, and you grow, and you change, and you find her again, and you're still in love, and you meet people, and you lose people, and you love them too, and you learn, and you start wanting a future again, and caring again, taking care of yourself, taking care of other people--
and after all of that, at the end of things, you find out the man responsible for all of the misery in your short, sad life has cast a spell which gives him complete control and ownership of you- mind, body, and soul (again. this happens to the best of us). And you are given the choice to stay under his thrall, and live a thousand years-- or to age and die, like humans do, and to be free of him.
And the love of your life is there, and you're married now, and she's still a full blooded elf, and you're still a half-elf, and you think about what that means a lot more than you used to.
And still, after everything you've learned-- you choose your freedom. You choose leaving her behind.
#dnd#dungeons & dragons#ttrpg#you understand why i am insane. about my dungeons and dragons character#the way that this all started because 'she' (clone. its a long story) wanted to be free from her small town & her family's ideas of her#and so she inadvertently left THEM all behind too.#like bro watch out i think the cycle is repeating itself!!!!!!!!!#honestly girlie has to learn that passing out of someone's life is not always a betrayal#like she NEVER got over it!#giving pesche a whole speech about how loss leaves a hole behind that is filled in by rage & grief & impulse & violence like#ok. well. loss is inevitable and i think you have a very fucked up way of looking at it that despite all of your personal growth has maybe#only gotten worse over time because now you have things you care about again?#like i think she made the right choice for herself.... if the lesson she had 'learned' was to subjugate herself to Ohdran for 900 years in#the name of not 'leaving people' again. that would have been tragic. learning that love is good and precious and it matters even though#you are inevitably going to lose it. thats the real lesson. and she is learning it. she HAS learned it! she's never going to hide herself#away from the world to avoid losing people again. but she hasn't like... attached the lesson to herself yet lol. 'i accept i might lose my#friends & even though it breaks my heart im still glad to know them. if i leave people (read: LITERALLY DIE) im evil tho.' girl...#i was pretty bummed about it at the time like we have been 3 years on the endless train of suffering cant she just have a happy ending.#one thousand years of elf marriage.#but this is cool too like MAN the kind of organic storytelling moments that evolve out of ttrpgs are so crazy. we couldnt have planned this#and yet. perfect full circle moment.#mm campaign#it's alive!#harris#fisher
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mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset
#oohoohoo the self destructive ''well maybe I'll just push myself bc im going to be tired either way'' sure was a bad choice!#''lol who cares anymore im sick of being fatigued and im probably just making it up'' you are a fucking idiot god bless your soul#and yet.... the urge to Make It Worse is still so strong.... gee i sure do love p.mdd!#honest to god im so fucking frustrated w this brain lately#been trying to hide any sharps away from myself because I've just been so wildly careening into self destructive tendencies#and im sick of trying to like. control myself. i am my own keeper and im fucking sick of it gjfkdl#im trying so fucking hard to hold it together and keep myself on the right path but im really just incredibly tired#it feels like im trying to wrestle a knife out of a toddler's hand#and then the toddler cries and tantrums bc they wanted the knife#and i have nothing to give them to distract them. except im also the toddler.#idk how long i can keep this up for bc im ALSO managing other ppls emotions and baggage and shit at the centre#and over text. mainly that one person who i wish would just fucking leave me alone#but her grandma is literally on her deathbed so I can't rly try learning how to be firm rn#bc if i try to be firm i worry i will end up being a dick and i dont want to do that while she's struggling w pre-emptive grief#i don't know !!! im just so goddamn exhausted and struggling#and the world seems very cruel and terrifying and im honestly convinced im never going to find a way to exist peacefully in it#like im always going to be scared and struggle to trust ppl and struggle to socialize and feel safe anywhere#im going to be so honest. i wish i had One friend irl fhfkdl like. i think that would help a lot of my issues#to have someone i care about and respect and who actually cares about AND respects me back#and who i could just. be around. exist in the same vicinity. and not feel so scared and unsafe#a bit of a break from those constant feelings while not being isolated#who i could do activities with ???#thats actually so hard for me to imagine ever having ffhdjlsl its been so many years since I've had any semblance of that#it doesn't feel like im ever going to have that again :') it feels so impossible. pipe dream. unrealistic and unattainable#okay i need to shut up fhdksl sorry for being so insane on here every day jfc#one of these days i hope i will be genuinely stable for like... longer than a day fhfkdl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#self harm mention
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#U Have No Idea How Much I Miss Her.#i need to start actually drawinf again its been a hellish 6 months#its really easy to just fall out of the habit of it#i used to obsess over never being someone who just suddenly stopped drawing for weeks/months#it scared me. like a core part of my identity would have to change for that to happen or would be changed by that happening#and then once i didn't draw and wasn't drawing i felt like i needed something to violently change about myself to get me to start doing it#again. but i didn't need that i just drew something again and that was it. like that stretch of time didn't happen#drawing is just an activity you can choose to do or not do and there are no consequences for whatever decision you chose to take but it felt#so serious to me it is like i viewed it like death#which i was right about in a way but mostly in how death is just a thing that happens and that it wont be that sudden and insane#you will just be and then not be just like how you weren't and now are. its just like me drawing or not drawing lol#but that comic of ht papyrus by jnpie where he's looking at the puzzles he used to make and wondering if he'll ever do that again. or if he#wants to. its like that feeling. it always sticks in my mind#i have like a fear of thinking about when i will no longer care about something i care about now and its so weird when. realize i stopped#wanting to do something and caring about it and. i feel nothing on account of no longer caring about it lol. but i know that past me#is currently looking forward at me now and terrified. this is unrelated to that comic a lot but its like. thinking about how i will change#words#mine#IM NOT TAGGING THE ART bc i wanna actually finish some of these pieces tbh and like they are just the backdrop for my thoughts...#feels so hashtag tumblr to talk to yourself about some vague ass feelings or situation that no one else will look at ugh thats like#The tumblr experience. but i love reading other's personal posts and tags though..
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I NEED TO MOVE OUT NOOWWWWWWW
#i woke up at 3 pm bc this was my 1st day ‘off’ in forever#and when i went to grab something to eat our back door was fully open and my car was nowhere to be found#cat*#so i freaked out and started looking outside but when i realized she wasn’t there and my roommate also wasn’t recently outside#i knocked on her bedroom door and she was like ‘oh sorry i was asleep do you want me to help look’#YES i want you to help look what are you talking about#eventually i found her bc my cat is the best girl in the world and never left our yard- she was in the crawl space under the house#but not only am i pissed she let my car out then took a nap#but we don’t live in the safest city in the world and while we were both sleeping our door was fully 90 degrees open#so now not only do i feel like kevin (cat) isn’t safe here but I don’t feel safe sleeping here anymore#the lease is up in july and i finally get to leave#this girl is a random roommate my former roommate found to replace her#and the whole process/experience has been awful#i just have to survive 4 months#during the summer i might keep paying rent but fully leave and go live with family#bc my school isn’t in driving distance of any of my family#now i’m thinking about asking someone if they’ll take kevin for a couple months bc im so sorry about her#but my dad has a dog that doesn’t love cats and my best friend is allergic and my mom lives in another state#personal#delete later#also this is unrelated BUT every weekend without fail she does laundry at an insane time in the morning#and our washing machine is the loudest washing machine i’ve EVER heard#and of course it’s right against the wall of my room#not hers#i only get two days a week to sleep past 630 am and she almost always ruins it
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sonic prime so cool ............
#cherryz txt#me shaking netflix WHERES the rest of it!!!!!!!!! (in due time. hopefully.)#i hate u streaming services and ur power to kill the things i love....................#sonic#sonic prime spoilers#<- in the following tags. be wary .#sonic and shadows interactions have been so delightful . i wish sega let shadow have friends and like Feelings#sonics writing overall has been very good . very people-focused trying to save everyone he can but just#very ahead of himself and how that lack of forethought causes so many of the conflicts for him#very inline for yknow . fastest hedgehog around.#REALLY enjoy seeing him look like a sad wet puppy when shit goes to fuck . boy just wants to go home!!!!!!!!!#i do wonder if something insane will happen if all the shatterversions of characters congregate#like . we didnt See thorn interact directly with rusty or black rose. just that the latter 2 saw her and were like Woah...................#also . i love u nine . baby son . he wanted to show sonic his lil grim home so bad and then sonic wasnt into his idea and im SADDD#HE HAD LIL PALM TREES!!!!!!!!! WAHH.............#the way nine talks about what might happen to him after the prism is in 1 piece in ghost hill makes me wonder also#the shatterspaces are implied to essentially be the product of original green hill being torn to bits .#so one would assume thats true for the characters in them yea? so does nine think he might get 'absorbed' into og tails?#theres always been a vibe to me that all the shatterversions of the cast are essentially like . distinct aspects of their whole characters#in some way anyhow . like a pirate for knuckles makes sense as a kind of manifestation of his focus on like#defending the master emerald . in a world Without the master emerald hes essentially crazy for any replacement he can get?#so its interesting to think that nine could in a similar vein be like tails' resentment of being Just a wingman#and the frustration of being picked on as a babby . and how that might tie into a feeling of like#'i would be nothing without sonic' bcus sonic was the one to stand up for him back then right?#INTERESTING. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! idk if any of tihs holds any water im just brain vomitting at this point but WAHHH#obviously all the shatterversions are and wish to be seen as their own individual people but like. NARRATIVELY speaking#u know?????? u understand. ive decided this for u the person reading this You Understand.
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'for the last 2 days of nano i will allow myself a little treat and do some short stories about jackie and em+mel :) for fun' <- guy who has just made himself so upset about jackie he is now incapable of writing more without wanting to cry
#pers#JACKIEEEEEEE. JACKIE I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU. iM SO SORRRYYY#im also listening to hadrian and his son and its NOT HELPING#im also upset about samira bc im writing it as an interview between the two of them#and a handful of other stories ive done have also been interviews but mira always cuts herself out of them#and only writes the responses. and not in this one bc its just a conversation with her friend.#and the way she interacts with jackie as opposed to literaly anyone else. is so insane#it isthe ONLY time she drops that mask it is the ONLY time she has this sense of comfort and familiarit#even more than with emily!!!!!! THEYRE. FRIENDS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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woke up to just a single little piece of cat shit on my floor that i had to take care of obviously and i dont know if it's cause my cat got irritated during the night and acted out or if she genuinely just struggles with how tall the stupid thing is (i need to get her a regular one for here fr this one was supposed to help with catching litter and etc but it just creates way more problems) but you can imagine that when she was immediately lovey dovey with lydia it was like a stab to my heart a bit
#especially because well i just had to wash all my clothes in an insane amount of detergent and go over my floors a bunch#bc she pissed on my stuff. she's never done this. and like not to be a sad little freak about my cat but i just dont know if somethings up#or if im worrying too much about it#like i finally totally cleaned out the litter box ive been better abt keeping up w it. i make sure i switch out her water and shes fed#i know i dont always have a lot of energy to play with her and i feel bad :( because she is truly the love of my life#and i want her to feel loved. i am just so tired </3 but im trying#single mom that works two jobs... loves her kids and never stops...#abby talks
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