#i love being insane and mentally ill
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Remake of the edit that made me insane
Xena: "Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to stare?" - Motive
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I genuinely just want to be able to have love and be happy..
#actually mentally ill#girlblogging#music#love music#80s#guns and roses#being in love#axl gnr#axl rose#guns n roses#gnr#guns n roses photos#axl is so fucking hot#i’m crazy#im getting him naked#i’m sorry#i’m going insane#i’m just a girl#older guys#gunners#gunsnroses#guns n' roses#ginger#why#just let me have this#i want her#i want to kms#i want to cry#literally why
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fellas, is it gay to get flustered when your colleague wraps his magic around you to keep you out of trouble? 🤔
#cookie run#shadow milk cookie#shadowvanilla#pureshadow#creme university au#ive been sitting on this doodle for like a month now lord have mercy on my soul#god im mentally ill about what my friend and i did with these two#shadow milk used to be blueberry yogurt but he did a fuckin huge amount of forbidden magic in one go and it shattered his mind#so now hes unhinged as shit and insane but being around pure vanilla sometimes calms his mind#and he sometimes feels like his old self again#this is only possible because pure vanilla Did Something after the accident to try and save blueberry yogurt#cause they were pining after each other like the idiots they were#and now they are linked on a magical level#and pure vanilla is still trying to reverse the effects of the forbidden magic on the love of his life#shadow milk had no fuckin' idea but in this scene he ended up piecing some things together#i should try drawing pure vanilla's lab but omfg room drawings are not my strong point#okay ill shut the fuck up now i love them so bad
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"We should have taken more pictures together."
"We should have taken better ones."
Some of my favorite details are, of course, the bedrockbros at the bottom left. And the L'manberg sticker purposefully slashed. Then on the top right is most likely an image of a young Wilbur with Phil's crows, (always a sprinkle of sbi) so it looks older than the rest. The state of the photos depend on the time they were taken. (yes)
I think I drew this around december of 2022. It still remains to be one of my favorites.
"We should have taken more pictures together." Tommy said. I wish we had more time.
"We should have taken better ones." Wilbur replied. I wish we could've been better to each other.
#crimeboys#ctommy#cwilbur#i love being able to ramble about my mentally ill drawings#I'm sorry for the emotional damage i may have caused#dsmp fanart#tommyinnit fanart#ccrimeboys#crimeboys fanart#wilbur soot fanart#fanart#dsmp art#im still a little insane over them#why are they like this#dirty crime boys#they are brothers your honor
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when i kms, i hope my friends grieve over it FOREVER and never forget me. cuz i dont wanna be forgotten, no matter what!! ^_-
#﹕〝 random#jirai kei#jirai#jirai girl#jiraiblr#jiraiblogging#landmine girl#landmineblogging#landmine kei#landmine type#landmineblr#im insanely mentally ill and LOATHE the idea of being forgotten EVER by my loved ones... cuz i want them to feel how much i admire them#mental illness#i swear im mentally stable :3#im going insane#pls give me attention#10k tags!! order up!!! >.<#jirai onna#lifestyle jirai#obsession#landmine#remember me
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“ Pera ? Hindi ako nauubusan — pero pasenysa sa inyong lahat ? Ubos na ubos na . ”
Prince of Manila in my Manila by Night chronicle — Alejandra Miriam Salvador de Silva
( “Money? I don’t run out of it — but patience for all of you? Barely any left.” )
#alejandra is an icon she is a legend and she is the moment baby#alejandra vs being a normal person when#godd i love making ventrue women who are just fuckin insane#alejandra you should be getting a therapist not a new boy toy#alejandra has 97 mental illnesses and cannot be banned from most places because she OWNS THEM!!!#manila by night#marquisecupid#vtm oc#vtm#vampire the masquerade oc#vampire the masquerade#ventrue#vtm ventrue#clan ventrue#vtm chronicle
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actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)
#reading back that phrasing I do think that'll be the way brinknor takes it#this arcs seeming like it'll be so. breaking the cycle of abuse and violence and coming to terms with yourself#and maybe understanding that you can never remove the parts of you impacted by trauma and start again completely ''pure''#but you can treat yourself with the kindness you should've been given#which i hope it is that because. and understand i am biased. but i'd love that direction for Kevin#it feels much more satisfying than any more. angsty way this arc could go imo#like he's been through enough!#because of the way Kevin is portrayed in fanon. not as frequently anymore but still pretty common. I worry about coming off as woobifying#by saying I want him to heal I want him to have nice things I think he deserves them#when he's also simultaneously Not A Good Person#yknow the poor little innocent cinnamon roll baby etc etc fanon#but. well for one im Not Like That about him. but my main point of bringing that up is. him not being a good person is why I want to see hi#get better and generally have a good life. why does someone have to be good to deserve to heal from trauma#especially when trauma is a big reason for the way they are#like its fiction yeah yeah i'm still tired of mentally ill people having to be ''good'' to ''deserve'' to get better yknow#i mean especially in fiction you tend to either see mental illness as the poor traumatized one who's allowed recovery because they're nice#or the insane psychopath who cant be ''fixed'' so ''deserves'' bad things-up to deserving to die!- for it#i didnt mean for this to be a rant erm. oops#wtnv#wtnv spoilers#joyousposting
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hello securitywaiter nation have you thought about ness being abby’s teacher bc I HAVE
below the cut because i can't shut up ever :D
-abby does well enough in school academically but is still needs some work in the socioemotional dept
-when she starts a new school year mike is a bit worried but then she comes back home absolutely ecstatic and mike is like “okay this is good”
-she talks all about how mr. ness lets her color while he teaches and how mr. ness gave them all name tags w silly drawings (hers is a bear) etc etc
-mike is actually really happy bc most teachers have a hard time understanding abby (heck, he has a hard time understanding her) so he’s looking forward to meeting this mr. ness during back to school night
-it goes on like this for awhile, with abby raving about mr. ness and mike is just happy that his little sister seems to be doing better in school. the first time she comes home talking about these kids she hung out with at recess he practically cries
-back to school night is here and the first time mike sees this mr. ness he’s like abby u traitor you didnt tell me this man was exactly my type (he doesn’t actually tell her bc he never brings up his lovelife around her - not that he’s had much of one - but still isn’t this the type of things siblings know intrinsically)
-anyways they’re having the kids show their guardians around the classroom and their seats and everything and then mr. ness is explaining the way his class works and mike is totally paying attention. yup. he’s not distracted by those chocolate brown eyes at ALL
-so they’re waiting to do the one-on-ones with the teacher and mike crouches down next to abby and tries to be all chill “hey, abs. has mr. ness ever mentioned a partner or anything?” acting all nonchalant
-but abby sees right through him and is immediately like “he’s single! do u want me to put in good word for you?” and mikes like “NO i have no idea what ur talking about haha i just wanted to know bc it’s important to know that about ur teachers okay wait why are you smiling like that”
-(abby’s a little menace and already ships it)
-when it’s finally their turn mike is just chanting to himself “be normal. be normal. be normal” lmao
-but now that he’s sitting face to face with the teacher he notices that he has freckles and every chance he had at playing it cool goes out the window
-ness is telling him all about how well abby is doing in class and if there was anything he could do to make it easier for her in the classroom and abby’s just sitting there looking at mike internally screaming with a smile
-so she turns to her teacher and is like “you should get mike’s number just in case something comes up. he’ll probably think of some things later since he’s been taking care of me alone for awhile” (bc u know when kids do that things where they kinda trauma dump at the most random moments lmao)
-and ness at first refuses and is like “im sure email works just fine!” and abby’s like WHYY is he not just taking the bait and then she has like a lightbulb moment
-bc ness probably assumes like everyone else that mike is a single father and abby’s his daughter and abby’s like oh no how do i make this work
-so she goes full anya mode (for my spy x family watchers) and is like “im sure mike would appreciate having your number on hand! he’s a very protective older brother you see. taking care of his little sister must be hard. i’m sure being a big brother like him is hard so it’d be for his peace of mind. did i mention he’s my older brother”
-and ness also has a little bit of a crush already forming so he doesn’t catch the obvious set up and is instead distracted by the fact that the handsome guy in front of him is in fact NOT a single father so maybe he does have a chance wowow
-yup so they exchange numbers andddddd ill come back to this later i really need coffee
#do i know what grade abby is in?? no#do i even have a vague idea of how i could muddle the ages for this work? also no#i am literally jsut here what more do u want from me#yknow purple rotting michael when he done got scooped#thats what i feel like with the amount of brain rot that i have#im actually so mentally ill its insane#also i very specifically wait for someone else to post on the tag before i make another post#bc i ahve wayy too many thoughts on these two#fnaf#fnaf movie#kitty.twt#ness the waiter#securitywaiter#mike schmidt#mike x ness#fnaf ness#abby schmidt#i love abby being securitywaiter shipper no. 1
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if anyone does anything that makes me feel even remotely out of control it changes my brain chemistry about them forever even if I know they mean well and want so badly for things to go back to the way they used to but they can never go back and I hate myself for that
#ill literally ruin every friendship ig#does anyone else experience this bc it’s actually so fucked up I hate it sm#and like im good at pretending it’s ok so even if the other person goes back to normal I never am#it’s like the grudge just stays forever no matter how much forgiveness I logical have#and the association w the person just feels sickening even if they r so full of love#and I think that talking about it will help but it just digs a further hole#like it always get resolved on their end but somehow I feel worse#I’ve lost some of the greatest ppl bc of this :(#like ppl make mistakes#and sometimes it’s not even a mistake or anything wrong im just insane#and then I feel I don’t treat them as well but not in ways they would notice ugh idk im actually fkd#hence I mostly cut them off bc I don’t wanna treat them badly they don’t deserve it#but im also sick of cutting ppl pff who r genuinely so nice and made one off comment#bc I’ve made plenty of off comments im sure bc im human and yet other ppl r ok w it like y can’t I be#anyways usually the whole reason they have even said anything that has put me off them is just their reaction to me being mentally ill#so it kinda all stems from me everytim LOL yay
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In discussions about mental health, I am so tired of the only voices mattering being other people or other people who do not deal with a condition/disorder or a specific situation.
"Here's how I deal with loved ones with [x] condition!"
"If you do [y] because of [x mental health reason], you're selfish and everybody who loves you is having their lives made harder by you!"
"If your symptoms are [z], you're gross, and you deserve no sympathy for struggling"
I understand to an extent why people do this, but holy hell, as somebody who struggles and struggles often, the last thing any of us need to be told is that we're a burden that others have to carry. And it's terrible how everybody else's feelings but ours matter - even if we are the ones most affected by our condition or situation.
If you are dealing with issues surrounding your mental health and well-being, know that everything above isn't true; you are worthy of patience, understanding, kindness, and love. You are worthy of being listened to without judgment. You don't have to apologize or "make up" for who you are or what you struggle with.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#sanism#sanism tw#ableism#ableism tw#since when do we just go 'you're sick? well I'M more affected by YOUR illness than YOU are so my voice matters MORE'#i'm actually genuinely angry that people think saying stuff like that is appropriate#and when i say 'deal with' i mean when people treat those they say they love like a burden#simultaneously discussions about mental health have gotten better and have stay horrific and lack compassion or nuance#like people have more words to describe mental health but they cling to their disgust for us ~insanes~ like it's a lifeline#TW FOR MENTIONS OF SUIDIDE AFTER THIS TAG#when i actively wanted to take my life being told that i was selfish did NOT help. it made the desires STRONGER#because i had something ELSE to use to justify why my death was imperative. if i was selfish then why do i deserve others?#do you see why these discussions are harmful at *best* and can be the final factor in a decision like that?#sure. maybe those discussions alone won't be what pushes somebody to pass like that.#but it will have contributed to the demonization of mentally ill people#those discussions aren't going to save us from suicidality or something equally seen as drastic#videos like abigail thorn's cosmonaut video were actually way *more* helpful because she was compassionate#she provided compassion and empathy and was vulnerable enough to share her *own* experiences#i think i'm going to re-watch it for the....... 500th time#i'm so glad she kept her old videos up. this one is one of my favourites#heavy watch but i forever will be grateful to her and the others who helped me out of that pit
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Listen I understand why some people disagree bc I love them as characters but personally I don’t particularly want another full season with the Bad Kids. I will watch it if they do one, but I feel like not only have the characters reached the natural conclusions of their arcs, the Intrepid Heroes have all grown so much as players from when Fantasy High came out like 5 years ago that I think it would feel a bit disingenuous. Like Ally had never played D&D before Fantasy High, and Kristen was played accordingly. Ally even said in Starstruck “no more bumbling Kristen shit”
All that being said I wouldn’t mind a short season (up to 10 eps) for junior/senior year or for the IH to do live shows of the characters. I would love a cross over season between Fantasy High and the Seven or even PirOL, I think that could be fun.
#Riz found his babysitter made a bunch of friends became a liscensed PI and resolved stuff with his dad#Fabian learned to be his own personal outside of his fathers shadow disavowed toxic masculinity and embraced his elven heritage#Fig went from not knowing her bio dad and having a bad relationship with her mom and adoptive dad to having good relationships will all of#them and she became a famous rockstar and got a gf#Gorgug found his dad got a girlfriend and faced his fears about not being smart while becoming closer to his adoptive parents#he managed to learn about communication and friendship and himself#Adaine went from having a shitty relationship with her abusive parents and sister to killing her dad driving her mother to insanity to#die in a magic forest and befriended her sister. she got adopted by a better dad and got her mental illness diagnosed and treated#Kristen is the only one who I think has some growth left in terms of no longer being a jokester sex obsessed teen with unresolved parental#trauma. that being said Kristen did get deprogrammed from her church realize she’s a lesbian move out and found her own church and discover#a whole ass god#I love all those characters. I don’t think another season is what they need#cienna talks#fantasy high
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I miss her sm…
#actually mentally ill#girlblogging#music#love music#80s#guns and roses#being in love#axl rose#axl gnr#guns n roses#just text#just fucking answer#i love her#i’m going insane#i’m crazy#i’m just a girl#i’m so tired#i’m sorry#i miss you#i miss her#gunsnroses#gnr#guns n' roses#ginger#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JUST PLEASE
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thinking about knights on the clock
#THINKING ABT. THEE KNIGHT#im seriously considering inquiring abt becoming a jouster next year...#they'll train you from the ground up... and yea its Florida but like.......#i think travelling around doing ren fests all year + otherwise being around horses and shit would fix my mental health#the only PROBLEM. is fucking. MEDICAL AND STUDENT LOAN DEBT#idk what the pay is like and im gonna be so real w/ you guys i do need a stable paycheck rn#not to mention the fact that if i DID like. get hired by them. then thats critical exposure to Thee Knight#who i am quite literally giggling and kicking my feet abt right now#hes so fucking gorgeous im insane about him hes like quantifiably Just Some Guy but hes MY Just Some Guy#he doesnt have a hole in his chainmail skirt anymore... sad day for me. a faggot#the newly darkened armor does look REALLYYYY good tho and i do love the scale on him#SOZ EVERYONE. IM ILL
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why not me?
#mitski#washing machine heart#female hysteria#femcel#jealousy#jelous#girl rotting#bpd#hell is a teenage girl#loser girl#mentally fucked#bpd thoughts#borderline blog#depressing shit#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#sorry for being depressing#tw sui implied#im not good enough#girlblogging#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#actually mentally ill#femcelcore#i need a lobotomy#i hate my self#irl yandere#yanblr#love me#manic pixie dream girl#im going insane
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Whumpee's always been messed up in the head. Their parents used to call stays at the hospital "camp!".
It's just too bad that Whumper didn't know this before they took them. Whumpee knew Whumper'd be in trouble too when they realized what they took on. They had to admit it brought a smile to their face.
Sure, they managed alright lately with the right combo of hefty doses but without... just give it a few days for the cataclysmic violence and delusions to kick in.
Good luck, Whumper.
#mental illness#when it becomes a strength#being a little insane can be helpful sometimes :)#I was thinking a little of sam riordan with this prompt#looks so adorable and then slaughters a bunch of evil people#just perfect#I love the interplay of whump and mental illness as we all know#sometimes heavy and serious but also sometimes just funny#and a bit ridiculous
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for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again
Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee
Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.
Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.
Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg
SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.
Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be
Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,
ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.
Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at
I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.
Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao
#sand speaks#hiiiii bestie my silly mutual. youve heard this rant before now for it poorly formatted in text#i mean its better formatted than when i actually talk abt it cuz if i wrote it the way i originally did the points would not be organised#like at all. itd be so bad#anyways all of this is lighthearted i dont think less of anyone with different opinions i just. dont believe the theory at all#i like the tragedy thag comes woth it technhcally not being his fault but also kinda being his fault.#like maybe he had really bad manners towards relatives. or horribls bedside manner (youre in my way just die already“ like ok mr kirisaki.#dont say that to a comatose patient my dude. but yeah it can be argued that morally hed be in the wdong#or if he persuaded relatives to dknate patients organs. which is rude and also malpractice (coercion and taking advantage of ppl in vulnerab#and with his themes of lying (covers) i fhink it could wither be lying to relatives of patients OR. him seeing hsi work and the promise of#saving people from illness or death as a lie and a hoax becasye so many people died anyways despite those promises#anhwyas im insane about this man. characters with extreme worldviews entirely of their own making my beloved#like nothing told him to believe this. he just does and thats whats interesting to me#anywasy suuper sorry about the big essay and the many tags. i love this fandom#i have so much to say but so little phone battery. and mental battery its Zzzzzzzzz time#tell me if abything in here sounds mean or anything btw im too used to being mean as a jokiing thing so im worried ill offend someone
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