#by saying I want him to heal I want him to have nice things I think he deserves them
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blooddrinkingbartender · 2 days ago
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"We'll just have to remind her that she wasn't to blame until it sticks in that case," Antonio said, before nodding, "I will hope so. And you did brilliantly yourself, quickly thinking with your own abilities and using the cuff. It was good to work with you as well. I will say though, it was mostly her. Her mindset and thoughts were still there beneath the mind control. My method was just guiding her back to them, and having the reassurance of knowing her found family is here to look after her."
Okay, and a bit of actual mental manipulation to get her to come close enough to get the cuff on her and make her feel too tired to fight, but it was for a good reason.
"Heh, may, may that scar forever be, be a tribute to, to the time you, you lived and, and that you're gonna keep living. And, and I'm fine, he, he just got my, my shirt," Russell said, "N-nothing more."
Bill made a move to go and fetch the requested juice from the kitchen, but Russell subtly shook his head. Travis was watching the front door for the time being, just to be safe.
"I'll, I'll do it," Russell then said, "Go, and, and get some rest. You've, you've done enough."
But then it was Travis' turn to yell in alarm when the ghost woman made her appearance. Antonio's tail briefly puffed up and his ears shot straight up. But then Travis once again put a hand to his chest and then took a deep breath.
"You forgot to tell me about the ghost lady, Custard," Travis said.
"No, she, she was one of the first people I, I mentioned," Russell said, as he moved into the kitchen to go and get the drink, "You want anything, Lucien?"
"Oh, my bad. I must have forgotten because of absolutely everything else I was taking in," Travis said, before nodding at Veronica, "Nice to meet you though. Sorry for the shouting. I'm new to all of this."
Bill would have usually protested other people doing things when he was meant to be the host, but it seemed he no longer had the energy to do so. He made his way back to where he was, slumping against the wall.
"I hope we will see each other again soon," Leofric said to Josh and Mark. Bill gave them a small wave of his own, "Under better circumstances."
"I apologise," Leofric said to Veronica. Despite not being able to properly see her, he still recognised the new presence by her smell and her voice, "I was caught unaware myself and subjected to one of the few things that can hurt me. It will take time to recover fully, but I can assure you this is temporary. That said, if you are feeling well enough to act, then I appreciate you allowing me to rest for a moment. Feel free to look through my bag for anything that might be of help."
Hopefully that moment would not become too many. He was sure Veronica would ask him for help if she needed it, so he took that moment to sit on the floor, his eyes closed and his back to the wall.
Antonio glanced over to the kitchen and then looked at Lucien.
"I'll offer Russell a hand. I may not be able to heal people, but I can at least help get refreshments together," Antonio said, as he then went to join Russell, who had found some apple juice and was pouring it into a glass. "You look like you could do with a sit down yourself."
Bill had shut his eyes briefly. At least in an effort to relieve his own feelings of sickness, but what surprised him was the feeling of wet on his cheeks. Red drips had started to slide down his face. They shot open, and his gaze shot around as he looked for a place to go and hide until he get the fact he had started crying out of control before anyone noticed.
"William?" Leofric's voice got his attention. Of course he could smell it, and of course he didn't realise what it was, given that he still couldn't see, "Are you bleeding? Were you hiding it?"
"No, no, no, I'm, I'm..." Bill's voice quivered and he couldn't but trail off as he put a couple of hands to face his face then. His shoulders shook and a quiet sob escaped from beneath his palms.
"Neither do I. Unfortunately, she most likely will." Lucien replied, before looking over, "You did an impressive job. I'd dare say Rook's recovery will be speedier entirely thanks to your efforts. It was a pleasure to assist you."
Yes, it was nice to finally have his own sidekick.
"Perhaps it's a downside to his own abilities." he then added, "I've been wondering why he left my shop in such a hurry. I hope the scar I left on his hand never fades and I'm glad he didn't leave you with any either, Russell."
They would recover from this too and perhaps finally gain the upper hand on that toxic moron.
Erica nodded, "Okay." She went right ahead to place Rook on the couch, then worked to remove her helmet and place it nearby. "I'd like some fruit juice if you got it. I'll get Rook out of this thing first, though. We should check that she isn't hurt."
She doubted that was the case, but she felt confirming that would have helped the general mood.
Erica's ears perked up, as the faintest scent of wildflowers caught her attention and she jumped up to greet Veronica. "Hello!"
The ghost lady barely had time to appear before she was hugged by a purring elf. Veronica gently patted her head while she looked around. "I see you all more or less got away. That's a relief."
"That guy messed with Rook's marks! He made her attack Bill." Erica explained, pulling back.
Veronica immediately set off to check Rook's condition. "...Boys."
Mark and Josh hurried over.
"Go help Edmund. The ship crushed on Liberty Island while we were missing."
"Got it. Keep us posted!" Mark said, before hurrying after Josh. Rook's sword was left by the door, as that was clearly the most reasonable place for it to be.
"You don't look too well yourself, Leofric." Veronica added calmly. She felt she didn't need to say more on the matter. Leofric was most likely perfectly aware of his own conditions.
Lucien figured that was a good time to remove the cuff from Rook's wrist, feeling it might interfere with Veronica's magic as well. He quickly stuffed it in his pocket, then took a moment to pull himself together while the room around him stopped spinning.
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measuredingold · 1 day ago
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cause everyone knows i got a broken heart
authors note: last but not least, folio’s has been completed ! i always enjoy writing him, so if you all ever have requests for our folio here, please send them to me lol inspired by the song taken :)
jolly’s, noah’s, and nicholas’
pairing: nick folio x reader
word count: 961
cw/tw: reader is heartbroken, big unsaid feelings, folio is a sweetie, noah just wants his friends to be happy, jolly is a sore loser, fluff, open but hopeful ending, 18+ minors do not interact
"You look happier."
Noah's voice breaks you from your spell, blinking away from Nick to look at your friend.
"Hm?"
"I said you look happier." He gives you a small smile, the real one he only reserves for his friends, and leans in closer. "It's nice, I missed the happy you."
"Thanks. I did, too." You mumble out, face burning.
The last year had been hard and there were times when you didn't think you could come out of it, wholeheartedly believing you'd die of a broken heart. But those bad days slowly turned into kinda bad days, and those days slowly turned into alright days. You're not where you want to be, but the broken pieces of you that were left behind slowly started to be pieced back together, one by one.
You glance over at Nick again who caught your gaze, face softening as he sends you a wave. You send one back before looking at Noah again, that small smile now turning into a knowing grin.
"Don't even start." You point a finger towards him, eyes narrowing into a playful glare.
"I'm not starting anything." He holds his hands up in defense before looking between you and his bandmate across the room, leaning in closer. "He really likes you, you know?"
Your face burns again. "I know."
It felt weird admitting that. You know how Nick felt about you, and how you slowly started to feel about him. It was all weird to realize when you were still healing from your broken heart.
"Are you gonna give him a chance?"
"I don't know." You say honestly and the look Noah gives you lets you know he understands. "It's complicated."
"Yeah, I'm sure it is." He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his pants, shoulder bumping into yours. "But... I'm also sure he's a good guy. Would do anything for you. It wouldn't be so bad to give him a chance, right?"
You eye Noah for a second, brow raising. The boy doesn't say anything, just gives you that same knowing grin.
"I'm starting to think he paid you to say that."
"I can't confirm nor deny that." Noah shrugs before bumping his shoulder into yours again as you both laughed. "But, seriously. He's good for you. I think you know that."
You do. The second Nick came into your life your world was turned up again after being turned down for so long. He was like a light in the darkness, guiding you through all the bad shit to get you to the good shit. You haven't been this happy in months, and yet...
"I don't know." You mumble, eyes back on Nick who was focused on his game of pool with Jolly. "There's just a lot that goes into it, you know? I'm still scared. I don't think he'd hurt me intentionally, but knowing that he could is what's stopping me, I think."
"Your therapist tell you that?"
You snort. "Maybe... but she's right. I think my mind is still in flight or fight when it comes to things like that. I don't know if I'm ready, but... he makes me want to give it another shot."
"Yeah?"
You can hear the smile in his voice, though your eyes are still on Nick. "Yeah."
It's silent between you two after that, leaned against the wall beside each other as you watch the game between Nick and Jolly unfold. The older out of the two swears when Nick wins, the second time tonight, and you can't stop the smile stretching across your lips when he sends you a wink. Jolly reaches into his pocket to pull out a wad of cash, practically throwing it at Nick.
"Not fair! You always do better when she's here." Jolly grumbles out, pointing an accusing finger your way.
You hold your hands up. "I'm literally just standing here."
"Yeah, but you're like his good luck charm. He always plays better when you're here. It's weird." Jolly huffs out, but you can still make out the playful tone in his voice.
"You're just jealous you don't have a pretty good-luck charm." Nick teases as he makes his way over to you and Noah.
Your cheeks burn from his words and you don't dare look at Noah. You can see that shit eating grin in your head perfectly.
"Did you hear that? He thinks you're pretty." Noah dramatically whispers to you, groaning when you elbow his side not so gently.
"Shut up." You whisper back, plastering a smile on your face when Nick gets closer. "How much you get out of him this time, winner?"
"I think just enough to buy you and I a drink." He says while counting his winnings, whistling to himself once he finished. "Actually, I can buy us two drinks."
"Wow, two drinks? A man after my own heart." You joke, but the smile on Nick's face lets you know it's anything but.
"I sure am. Tell me, is it working yet?"
You don't stop yourself from smiling. "Maybe it is."
"I'll take it." Nick hums before holding his hand out, waiting for you to take it. "C'mon, let's go get a drink."
You take it without much thought, letting your fingers lace with his as he guides you towards the bar. You can feel Noah's eyes on you, and you can still see that shit eating grin in your mind, but you don't care about that. You don't care that maybe he's right. No, all you care about is the way Nick's staring at you, like you hold the sun and the fucking moon in the palm of your hands. It makes you feel like giving him that chance wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
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cepheusgalaxy · 9 hours ago
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We need more trans and gnc whumpees!
Trans whumpees that are post-everything before they are even captured, yes, but not just that!
Whumpee that didn't even realize she was trans and was captured as a "boy" and then after she was rescued and started to heal and feel safe after so long she started figuring out things about herself. Does she have a caretaker? Does she tell them? Does she not, in fear of their reaction? So many options!
Perhaps whumpee even figured themself out during captivity. Did they let whumper know? Did whumper care? Did whumper pretend to care?
Maybe whumpee isn't trans, but he is gnc. He always dressed fem and then he was captured and whumper used him as a dress up doll for the dresses and laces they wanted and that made whumpee sick. In recovery, is caretaker perhaps expecting whumpee to be a little more conforming after those experiences? What happens when instead, Whumpee goes back to their loved fem style or perhaps a new one altogether, but this time on their terms, way different than what whumper forced them into. Does whumpee perhaps even figure out he likes dressing fem in recovery after trying to find his style after enduring captivity
Or maybe slavery setting! Slave or bbu/pet whumpee who is transgender and as they realize that they have a moreso nice handler that lets them slowly transition. "Hey did you hear 20391 is a she now" "Dude idk that one is Dave's trainee but he knows what he's doing—have you seen his reviews? I'm not gonna be the one doubting his methods" and "Hey did you grow out your slave's hair" "Nah, found out they handed me a girl and thought it was a boy. She asked me to grow it out and it's pretty easy to yank now, ya know, why would I deny it" or something like that
Whumpees who had their "silly trans thoughts" beaten out of them in captivity and are afraid of being themselves during recovery!
Mad scientist who blackmails whumpee with affirming care as a way to ensure they'll stay in line?
Agender whumpee who's had a gender imposed onto it during its whole life and after a stranger, caretaker, rescues it, she doesn't want it to be anything and when they ask its gender at some point (it was not like she knew it before) it just sighs and asks if they can go back to pretend that thing didn’t exist, before caretaker got to ask. Caretaker chuckles and says it can be genderless, if it wants. So many possibilities!
Male whumpee dehumanized for a long time and after a while getting the guts to ask Caretaker—who's been so kind as to never call whumpee anything but a "he" or a "they" when they weren't sure—if they can start using it/its. Caretaker is confused, why would you want to go back to that? And whumpee's face is red with embarassment, but they feel a twitch in their gut everytime someone calls it sir, or lady, when it was confused by a girl at the grocery store once. It doesn't know why, it just—Caretaker doesn't understand, but they want whumpee to feel comfortable. They ignore the guilt on their tongue when they refer to whumpee by that, which instantly vanished the second they catch its surprised smile.
Anyways I just—TRANS AND GNC WHUMPEES YALL
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pomogando · 1 day ago
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hiii hehehe :3!! may i resquetttt maybe a medkit and child reader ehe write whatever ya likeee just idk i just want parental love for onc- that isnt important but i would be very happy if you do it!!have a nice day or night.
Medkit and a child Reader
Word count 800+, short and sweet, one-shot, platonic !!!!!!
Medkit is trying his best.
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Medkit never considered himself the type to ever have a family in his lifetime. He never considered himself good with kids. Hell, he struggled to be the right person a kid could look up to. That's what Medkit thought, at least. He was pathetic in many people's eyes, a fall from grace from the scientist he could be. He felt aimless.
Hurrying back home to his apartment, he picked up cheap fast food. It was definitely not his favorite, but to survive till the next day, it was good enough. It was too late to plan a meal and he couldn't exactly cook in the first place, but he hoped one day he could make you something at home you'd actually like to eat.
The bus stop was far from the church, so he had to cover the food bag as he ran from the ever increasing intensity of the rain. The umbrella in his free hand wouldn't open. He grumbled as the rain wet his uniform.
He had meant to get a new one, but on the days he remembered, it was always too sunny for an umbrella to be needed.
Still, despite his impatience at the bus stop to get home, ignoring the odd looks from civilians, his thoughts drifted to you as they always did. His new responsibility on top of an already large enough list.
Sometimes, he wondered if he was doing the right thing for you by taking you in. It's not like the place was exactly grand, and you were a bit of a money drain through no fault of your own. It was his, actually, he found he liked spoiling you the little he could.
He got home late, the damned bus had taken forever, and then the bus driver drove everywhere but to you. He watched others leave to their homes with an annoyed look. He's pretty sure someone looked back, but he was more focused on the food that was definitely getting cold. He wrapped it in his jacket, putting the bag close to his chest.
The bus came to a rough stop as the driver told him to get off. He nearly dropped the bag.
He hurried upstairs, struggling to put his keys in the keyhole due to his own eagerness to get home.
He opened the door with a click, closing behind him and locking it. "I hope you don't mind, it's the same as last time." He announced, hearing your footsteps as you ran down the hall to see him. He dropped the food on the counter, watching as you ran to his side with bright eyes. It was your favorite for whatever reason. Despite his own disinterest in the food, he felt like he owed you. For everything, he didn't have a specific thing in particular, maybe for not being able to do enough.
Medkit couldn't help but look at your bandages on your thin arms as you dug through the bag for your usual. When he found you, you were covered in bruises and scratches. Your horns chipped with one almost in half. It'll thankfully heal with your young age, but he wondered how that could've happened, not that he would ask. You never mentioned it, so he wouldn't.
It was something he could piece together anyways, Playground was dangerous. How you got here, though, was something he couldn't figure out.
"Did you get me a milkshake?" You asked. He paused to think. "I left it on the bus.." His eyes widened, quickly running to grab it. He heard you giggle as he ran out the door. Thankfully, the bus hadn't pulled away yet, but the driver still wasn't very happy to be flagged down for a single milkshake.
Medkit came back to you eating your fries. He had told you before to slow down, which you obviously didn't listen to. "Come sit!" Your food was spread out on the table and his neatly placed nearby. He was intending on eating in his own room, but he couldn't exactly refuse you.
"Here." He put the shake down near you, watching you perk up. "I didn't forget, like I said I would." You smiled, taking it eagerly. He sat next to you. You've had this meal day after day, yet you still ate it. He wasn't even sure if it was actually your favorite. You didn't seem very picky.
"Slow down, you'll get a brain freeze." He stole one of your fries, making you huff.
You finished it all way too quickly for his liking. He hadn't even unwrapped his burger, but he couldn't even scold you before you got up. Already running back to your room to create a mess.
"Thanks, dad!" You called out as you were already closing your door. Medkits eyes widened. He wasn't sure how to feel. Him? You considered him your dad? He always felt as if he didn't do enough, or maybe he was too strict. Maybe he was too lax.
.
.
.
He scoffed at the wrappers on the table. You always 'forgot' to clean up after yourself, leaving him to do it instead.
But, he'd let it slide, just this once.
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saiintvalentiine · 2 days ago
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okay. sorry saiint for spamming your inbox but i am now actually considering horace x wifies. i think theyd actually be cute... could you write horace building something for wifies for free out of his own will this time because he thinks hes cute... this will be my last request i prommy... maybe
i cant keep defending myself against the "makes my mutuals ship weird shit" allegations..............
Word count: 592
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Wifies does, in fact, feel incredibly bad for Horace and the builders. The whole payment thing is kind of. . . He’s not sure what to do about that, though. Parrot isn’t easy to convince, even when it’s Wifies doing the convincing, and they really don’t have much of anything right now. There is, though, one thing Wifies can do at least kind of effectively, and that’s baking really good treats. Ken skimmed off the top of this batch of stuffed croissants, but it should still be enough for the whole team. They’re working on the northern side of the island when Wifies finally finds them.
Horace is an easy form to spot, standing on top of a quartz support beam. He lands a few blocks away on the ground level and waves at Horace.
“Hey!”
Horace sees him and waves back, Elytra wings spreading as he hops down.
“Hey, it’s been a minute!”
“It has, sorry about that.”
Wifies digs a shulkerbox out of his inventory and places it down between them with a smile.
“I made ham and cheese stuffed croissants.”
Horace takes two before calling over the rest of his builders, who descend upon the shulkerbox like vultures. Golden carrots are great for healing, but nothing beats actual food in terms of taste.
“Actually, I wanted to show you something,” Horace says around a mouthful. “You got a minute?”
“Yeah, definitely.”
It’s difficult to not start worrying immediately. Horace finishes eating and waves Wifies down a paved path that weaves between buildings and courtyards and flowering trees that shiver with the void cold.
“So I noticed you don’t really like the color palette,” Horace says, scratching his jaw absently.
“I do like it,” Wifies says automatically. “It’s pretty. Regal.”
“White and blue isn’t for everyone.”
“Really, I like it!”
He’s more of a warm, jewel toned guy, but that’s neither here nor there. He’s left everything in regards to the building in Horace’s capable hands, and everything does look wonderful.
“Regardless, I wanted to show you this.”
The stop in front of a building that looks all the same to Wifies. It’s white with a blue roof, but the door is spruce strangely enough.
“Go in.”
Wifies doesn’t get the feeling that this is some kind of trap, but he slides a totem into his hand subtly as he pushes the door open. Nothing happens— of course nothing happens, duh— but he’s surprised by the inside decor. The whole room is warm with candles and lanterns, floor padded with deep violet carpets and walls lined with spruce planks.
“What?” he says dumbly.
“Come on now, enter properly.”
So he does, slipping the totem back into his inventory as he steps in. There's not a lot of space inside, but there’s a kitchen on one end and something like a couch-bed hybrid on the other end. Horace taps the lid of a stack of barrels lightly and grins.
“I wasn’t going to let you be miserable in a Civ I’m building,” he says as Wifies pokes around. “You’re way too nice. So I bothered Ken into telling me what you like.”
“Why not ask Parrot?” Wifies asks, picking up a black pillow and squeezing it.
Horace doesn’t answer. Instead he asks, “Do you like it?”
“I do. Thank you.”
Wifies turns to smile at him, hugging the pillow a little. Horace looks proud, practically preening on the spot.
“Did you just want easy access to my food?” Wifies teases.
“No! I’m chivalrous. I have good intentions.”
Wifies snorts but believes him anyway.
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dootznbootz · 10 months ago
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I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"
For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.
Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS
I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao
It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach
Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.
Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."
Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.
He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."
“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match                                          to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home,                                                       to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard                                  through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”
(Book 5, Johnston)
Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.
If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄
It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!
As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)
Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D
It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...
With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.
I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!
Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D
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mudstoneabyss · 11 months ago
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actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)
#reading back that phrasing I do think that'll be the way brinknor takes it#this arcs seeming like it'll be so. breaking the cycle of abuse and violence and coming to terms with yourself#and maybe understanding that you can never remove the parts of you impacted by trauma and start again completely ''pure''#but you can treat yourself with the kindness you should've been given#which i hope it is that because. and understand i am biased. but i'd love that direction for Kevin#it feels much more satisfying than any more. angsty way this arc could go imo#like he's been through enough!#because of the way Kevin is portrayed in fanon. not as frequently anymore but still pretty common. I worry about coming off as woobifying#by saying I want him to heal I want him to have nice things I think he deserves them#when he's also simultaneously Not A Good Person#yknow the poor little innocent cinnamon roll baby etc etc fanon#but. well for one im Not Like That about him. but my main point of bringing that up is. him not being a good person is why I want to see hi#get better and generally have a good life. why does someone have to be good to deserve to heal from trauma#especially when trauma is a big reason for the way they are#like its fiction yeah yeah i'm still tired of mentally ill people having to be ''good'' to ''deserve'' to get better yknow#i mean especially in fiction you tend to either see mental illness as the poor traumatized one who's allowed recovery because they're nice#or the insane psychopath who cant be ''fixed'' so ''deserves'' bad things-up to deserving to die!- for it#i didnt mean for this to be a rant erm. oops#wtnv#wtnv spoilers#joyousposting
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chiropteracupola · 2 years ago
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a little pain now, to save a great deal more pain later
[flintlock fortress is a collaboration with @dxppercxdxver]
#em draws stuff#flintlock fortress#team fortress 2#blood#today on the em cupola show: wild self-indulgence. but hey I feel Bad so I'll draw what I Like. and today that's medical procedures.#someone leaned over my shoulder while I was drawing this and asked 'is that bloodletting' and they were Almost Right so I'm endlessly proud#in fact it is smallpox inoculation!#sorry to everyone who I have bothered with my Smallpox Talk in recent memory but It Will Happen Again.#the game style itself is kind of rockwell and leyendecker-y to me so I wanted to do something with a similar look to their work#had a lot of goals for this piece and I think I really did achieve all of them quite nicely#could I keep these guys recognizable without showing their full faces? yes I think so!#could I make 'getting a mild case of smallpox with the lads' seem a bit romantic even? yes to that too.#also. scout tattoos make an appearance. (do not go looking for them in any other art of him on account of I Forgor)#and a new look for ansel (this man dresses Boring but that is no fun for me to draw)#'backstory relevant' I say as I do not discuss any of these guys' backstories again.#'that's for us to know and for you to find out' I say while giving you no way at all to find out#have been in a constant state of 'by gosh having a little less blood in me would make this situation better' for several days now#and while I am using Normal methods to improve the situation drawing such things does work a bit to heal the mind#'we're doing just fine' says local guy who is madly drawing the same guys over and over again
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girlivealwaysbean · 3 months ago
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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muchmossymess · 5 months ago
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I need to stop sleeping all day its giving me wild as fuck dreams
#literally had a dream that i was a 14yr old mexican boy who was kidnapped by a crime boss and worked for him#making my way up the ladders until i was his right hand man#until one day i got in an accident and the paramedic who found me stuck by me while the cops questioned me#bc like who is this kid why is he so malnourished who is meant to tale care of you#and then they were restraining me in the back of an ambulance and i was crying and trying to breathe my way out of a panic#attack and then managed to calm down and the paramedic (who looked like that guy from disco elysium. the one you play as)#started asking me questions about my life and i talked about how johnny was in charge and he wore half a black rabbit mask but upside down#so the singular ear ran down his throat. and i talked about other thing idk but then CRASH the ambulance is suddenly gone#(OH I REMEMBER. i talked about how there were these women (prostitutes) who were nice to me and would give me food and drink#that i wasnt supposed to have and they wouldnt let me drink what the men were having but thats okay it tasted nasty anyway#and how on my last mission i was shot in the leg and it delayed me a day and johnny punished me by locking me up#and i couldnt leave and i nearly starved to death that week but the women snuck me small amounts of food and drink#even tho they would have been killed if they were caught. anyway that was like two weeks ago and my leg still hadnt healed)#im tied up under the clothesline at the top of the stairs of my irl house while the paramedic is tied to a chair by the front door#johnny comes in and starts asking questions but upon receiving no answers he grabs a metal bat and breaks the paramedics knee#and im just crying and screaming for it all to stop scared out of my life and johnny asks if i want the beating instead#and the paramedic says “dont you lay a finger on him. (name) look away i dont want you seeing this”#and then johnny starts torturing him amd all i hear is his screams even tho im blocking my ears and squeezing my eyes shut#and then im in johnnys room three years later and hes turned me into a dog but also an axolotl and ive forgotten my human roots#....like literally what the FUCK was that????#moss' madness#its called vague posting FOR A REASON
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lupismaris · 2 years ago
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No one gets under your skin and makes you feel sick quite like your siblings, and there's no numbness quite like the feeling of having to put a boundary firmly in place with a wide open door for them to walk through should they see it for one
#ive not always been a good older sibling to my brother and i know that. ive owned up for it and apologized and made myself open.#so that we can mend what fractured relationship we have should he choose.#but he fixates on my refusal to play nicely with family that has not done right by me for the whole of my life and bases#the entirety of our potential relationship and the memory of out mother on that on the fact i wont play nice with her kin#because they have not ever fully accepted me save for my uncles which is a new thing. and ive made my boundaries about this clear#and he pushes and pushes and says if we come together as a family it'll ease his grieving and we'll all heal together#but thats just disregarding my own boundaries and trauma in exchange for catering to the comforts of himself and the family#ive given up fighting him on that#but i asked him simply that if he needs me or wants to tell me something to just call me pr text me directly it can be short n sweet#but not to go to our parents. its insulting. ive always answered his calls. even when we fight pr have a failed mediation i always answer#and he immediately made it about how my boundaries are unacceptable so why should he bother#i give up. i know i was arrogant at 26. i know i was. i was probably cruel too. but i had made myself a doormat at the same time.#all i told him was he never bothered to talk to me as my brother or ask my about our mother without the lens of her kin#it was always about them never just about her. it was never about us as siblings just about our aunts and uncles and grandparents#he never crossed the road and came to me and said can we talk about ma and I reminded him of that. never a conversation just#him playing court jester/therapist and ignoring boundaries over and over. and even then i always answered the phone#so i told him he can pivot and change the subject all he wants. but the point of this was that if he needs me i answer.#and should he need me i will answer. but if he continues this behavior of backhanded communication#ill know he doesnt respect me and doesnt see me as his sibling because ive asked him plainly to speak to me#im fuckin tired. you try with people and they just... bait you.#the fact he looked at me and said our relatives are all he has left of ma and im his sibling will never not feel like a salted wound tbh
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luveline · 23 days ago
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𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
Spencer gets a bad bout of amnesia. Or, your boyfriend forgets he’s your boyfriend, but he still has a crush on you. [3k]
c: fem, bombshell!reader, head injury, hospitals, amnesia, fluff, spencer can’t believe he bagged you, requested here 
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚⋆
Spencer wakes to an empty room. 
He lays on a pillow too flat, neck twinging, the back of his eyes throbbing when he moves.
He struggles to breathe through his nose and lets his mouth open for a few achy breaths, his mouth dry like he’s been sucking on cotton balls. 
Spencer’s alarmed, without a clue what it is he’s done. He wonders where Gideon is, if the older man has come to see him yet. He hopes somebody told his mom he’s okay. 
Maybe Hotch will come. He and Hotch have grown closer while Gideon was on his mandated recovery time; Gideon spends far less time in the office, sticking to lectures, seminars and consults, while Hotch, Morgan and Spencer handle the away cases. Spencer might go as far as to say Hotch likes him. And Morgan can tolerate him now, less grudging when Spencer offers a random fact or statistic to further the case. 
A stab of pain at the back of his head makes itself known sharply.
Spencer doesn’t want to move, but he needs to assess things. He frowns at his arms, naked as they are. His silver watch is missing. A t-shirt that he doesn’t remember buying stretches over his chest. What state are they in, and who dressed him? 
He’s scowling at the window with it’s wide-open blinds and all the sun when the door opens. 
You’re looking at the bags on your arm as you come in. Spencer startles in his blankets —what are you doing here? Agent L/N, Morgan’s friend and a candidate for the open position on the BAU team. You’re from the Sex Crimes Unit, like Greenaway. 
Spencer flusters every time he sees you, not just because of how kind you’d been the first time you met, or even the easy flirtation you send his way when you cross paths. It’s because you’re the prettiest woman he’s ever seen. He’s not talking about the golden ratio or statistical beauty, you’re just stunning. You stop him in his tracks whenever you steal into the office. It’s better when you notice he’s awake and light up like he’s the winning numbers for tonight’s lottery pull. Everything about you illuminates. 
“Hey, babe!” you say, not not yelling as you drop your bags in the seat by the bed and reach for him.
He doesn’t think to move away as you take his face into your hands.
“I’m so glad you’re finally awake, you almost slept for the full twenty four hours.” Your hands are soft. They smell like neroli. When you stroke his cheek and lean down to give him a chaste peck, he almost passes out there and then. “It's a good thing, obviously,” you say, and then kiss him again distractedly. Spencer squeezes his eyes closed. “You heal more when you’re asleep. Or so I’ve heard.” 
You pull away, Spencer blinking for his life. You have such a nice mouth, but Spencer’s never thought about what it might feel like on his. He doesn’t have the audacity: in what world would you ever kiss him? That’s the joke, right, when you flirt with him in the office?
“How are you feeling?” you ask, losing some of your pep. “How’s your head, handsome? You know, there are easier ways to get a haircut.” 
“They cut my hair?” he croaks. 
“Shaved it at the back to stitch you up. Not much, don’t worry. They were pushing for a buzz cut but I put my foot down on that one,” you joke. You nudge his legs aside without worrying about sitting on him as you get comfortable. “It’s not much. You can’t tell.”
“I…” 
“You feeling okay?” you ask softly. Your nice mouth purses. Your eyebrows pinch. They’re cute eyebrows. 
“You look different than the last time I saw you.” 
He doesn’t mean to say it aloud. He’s noticing things now. You’re wearing less powder under your eyes than you used to. You seem to have gained a little weight, and you look good. You didn’t look bad before, but this is different. Your hair isn’t too different, nor your brows, but you’ve begun lining your lips in a new way. Your blush is a subtler hue. Spencer doesn’t claim to know everything about you, but he can say that you look neatly the same each time you visit. Why the sudden change?
“It’s hard to sleep when your favourite person in the world gets his head cut open,” you say, taking his hand where he’d left it loose in the blankets. 
Your fingers slip into his with ease. 
“Can I tell you something?” he asks, attempting to swallow his nerves. 
“Of course you can.” 
He licks his lips. “Uh, I think I’m confused. I don’t– I don’t remember what happened, and…” 
“Oh, right. They told me this might happen.” You draw yourself up with a breath. He’s fascinated by the movement, an air of heat around him as you begin rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb. “You got hit in the back of the head with a cinder block, honey. Went down like a lead balloon.” You turn your face to show your cheek. “We’re even now on good scares, yeah?” 
You have a scar on your face he’d missed, carefully concealed but yet not invisible. Your hand in his feels so alien he holds it wrong, fingers twined but palms apart. 
“What happened to you?” he asks. 
Your brow crinkles. You go very still. “My cheek?” you ask. 
“What…” 
“Spencer, what’s the last thing you can remember, honey?” you ask, all the horror in the world to be found in your eyes. 
“Uh…” He feels sick to his stomach.
“Spencer?” 
Without having to be told, you slip off of the bed with two taps of your shoes and reach for the bedpan, thrusting it into his lap. 
His mouth fills with spit. “I’m fine,” he says. 
“No, I don’t think so. Let me get a doctor.” 
“Wait,” he says, clutching the bedpan and pushing his wave of nausea as far down as he can. “Please don’t go.” 
“My face was months ago, honey. I got hit in the face with a hammer by a UnSub, you don’t remember?” you ask incredulously. 
“Why do you keep calling me honey?” he asks. He knows the answer, but it’s not computing. 
Your face drains of any happiness. “I’m going to get a doctor,” you say, shoulders rigidly tight as you exit the room, leaving Spencer in your wake wishing he’d just pretended he knew who you were, just until you kissed him again. 
“And he really can’t remember you at all?” Morgan asks. 
You’re a little less startled than you had been, and you’re trying not to punish poor Spencer, but realising your boyfriend forgot years of flirting, and yearning, and friendship —years of kissing in secret and otherwise, years of holding hands, and staying at each other’s places to get that extra time together, even if it was just getting to sleep in the same bed between cases— was a slap. 
“He remembers me,” you say, leg crossed over the other, arm over the railing of Spencer’s bed to hold his hand. “He just doesn’t remember a thing after Gideon came back, after Boston.” 
“I remember when you had hair,” Spencer says to Derek. 
Derek glares at him, “This Spencer doesn’t get to sass me.” 
“But I do eventually?” 
“How come you’re holding hands if he doesn’t know who you are?” Derek asks pointedly. 
You shrug. “We talked about it, didn’t we?” you ask Spencer, who perks up every time you talk, which isn’t unlike your usual Spencer. Whenever he catches himself doing it he flusters. Every time you call him baby he loses his mind. “He doesn’t remember me, but he wants to. And I remember him.” 
“This must be pretty weird for you, kid,” Derek says. 
“Sort of,” Spencer says. 
It’s funny. Now you know Spencer thinks he’s twenty three again, you can’t not notice his shyness and his awkward tries at casualness. You’d forgotten what he was like back then. 
“Wait, does that mean you don’t remember Emily?” Derek asks. 
Spencer frowns. “Uh, no?” 
You sit up in your chair. “Emily’s one of your best friends, honey. She joined the BAU when Greenaway left.”
“Not you?” he asks. 
You dramatise your pain as Derek laughs. “Not me. I didn’t transfer for a long time, unfairly. It’s okay, though, you’ll remember Emily eventually.” 
When you realised Spencer wasn’t as okay as you’d thought, you gathered a gaggle of agitated doctors to assess him. He knew his name and birthday. He was wrong about the date, the president, and the state. You’re in Arizona where he’d thought Indiana. Your bag talks to the heat: Spencer’s fan, his sunblock, his antihistamines. He couldn’t believe it when he asked where his stuff was and you passed him your handbag. 
You’re trying to drive home to him that you’re not just dating, you're common-law partners, Spence. He adores you. You’d spend life in his lap if you could afford it. 
“How’d she get you to believe her?” Derek asks Spencer. 
“Uh.” 
“I kissed him a couple of times before he came clean about the amnesia,” you say. “So I didn’t have to explain.” 
“I didn’t mean to lie,” Spencer says. 
He’s looking less haggard now you’ve brushed his hair. It was sweet to watch his shoulders relax. He shuddered when you tucked a strand behind his ears, and didn’t flinch when you asked if you could kiss his cheek. It’s hard to have him vulnerable here and not be allowed to lick his wounds for him. You feel better the better he feels. You’ve fluffed his pillow, wrapped him tighter in blankets. When he got up to pee and you offered to help, he gave a resolute No Thank You, which in hindsight is hilarious but at the time made you wanna squeeze your eyes out. 
“It’s okay,” you say softly, “I don’t mind kissing him, even if he doesn’t remember me. Just so long as he doesn’t mind it back.”
Spencer manages to squeeze your hand. It’s a soft one, but it’s real. “I don’t mind.” 
“You dog,” Derek says. 
“Stop, stop. He’s not doing anything wrong, is he?” you ask. “I’m the evil one, forcing kisses on him when he doesn’t know me.” 
“I do know you,” Spencer says. 
“What’s it like to have a crush on your own girlfriend?” Derek asks, unwilling to quit his teasing where he’s crossing his arms in the chair opposite, his cup of coffee drained on the side table. 
Spencer swallows. “Uh, nerve-wracking.” 
“Believe it or not, that’s not so different to now,” Derek says. 
Spencer looks to you for confirmation, which you love. You slide your chair closer to him and clasp his wrist with your free hand. “Sometimes you're still a little shy, but it’s not so bad. Full of myself I may be, Spencer Reid, but you do love me. It’s easy with us.” 
“Do we really live together?” he asks. “You said common-law.” 
“Not technically. I stay at your place four nights a week. You stay with me for the weekends.” 
“Every week?” he asks.
“Yeah.” 
“We’re never apart?” he asks. 
His face is turning pink. You could kiss every bit of colour on his cheeks. 
“Derek, would you get Spencer something to eat from the cafeteria? Please?” you ask, levelling your friend with a pleading gaze. 
Derek gathers himself up. “Sure. We gotta feed the string bean something, don’t we?” he asks. 
Alone again, you draw lines up and down Spencer’s arm with your nails. You’re going to be indulgent in yourself, and ask him everything you’d ever wanted to know. And then a little extra, too. 
“You’re not as skinny anymore, have you noticed? You’re quite lean.” You stand to sit where you’d put yourself before he confessed. Your hand falls to his knee. “Solid, sometimes. You and Derek go for walks occasionally.” 
“We do?” 
“Mm-hm. And me and you do yoga in the living room when we can summon the energy. We tried couples Pilates, but Pilates is hard.” 
“We did?”
You smile warmly. “It’s nice to be in love with someone who loves in the same way.” 
“How do you love?” 
His ears are bitten-red. “Oh, you know. I’m too affectionate. It’s hard not to be with you. Everyone used to think we were… I don’t know, playing a game.” You slide your hand up his thigh, leaning on him to watch his pupils blow. “But I love you for far more than your constant propensity to blush. You get me flowers every time you see my favourites, and you never let me go to sleep without a kiss. Usually here.” You poke the skin beside your eye. “But sometimes you’ll surprise me and kiss my nose.” You're going lax with love, remembering things he’s done, and does every day.  “On a Saturday morning we make tea and I put my hands in your t-shirt. You do the crosswords for fun. Sometimes we time them.” 
“That’s not how you love, that’s what you love,” Spencer says. 
“Oh, you want a play by play of things?” He ducks his chin, but he smiles when you laugh. 
“I just can’t believe this is happening.”
You try to think of things you don’t think about anymore. “You love my sugar lip gloss, so I always wear it.” 
He reaches out tentatively. Shy as a wren in a hedgerow. You let him curl a hand over your elbow, feel the crook of it with his index finger. 
“I buy you stamps, and t-shirts for bed, and stupid stuff you wouldn’t get yourself. We’re… it’s like, it doesn’t feel like gift giving anymore because we’re always getting stuff for each other. You’re just as sweet, you know? When I first started sleeping over you bought me this huge pack of socks ‘cos yours are all odd,” you laugh. “I knew I loved you already, but…”
It’s a little sad, actually. He can’t remember all the stuff that makes you the couple you are. It’s not what you’d meant to get into. 
“Can I ask you something?” you ask. 
“Anything.” 
He’s slept-in and breathless, like he ran laps in his dreams. 
“What do you think of me now? I always wondered if you liked me back then, or if I just caught you off guard.” 
“Who wouldn’t like you?” 
“But did you?” 
He looks away hurriedly, his hand dropping from your elbow. “I guess so. But it’s not– not real. I have a crush on you.” His mumbling is sweet. “I have no idea why I’m telling you that.” 
“I had a crush on you, too, back then. It wasn’t anything serious, but it wasn’t a joke. And the more time we spent together, the more I thought we could fall in love,” —you take his hand and put it back on your arm— “and we did.” 
You toy with his fingers. Without looking, ashamed of your own self-indulgence, you ask another question. “What do you think of me now?” 
“I can’t remember,” he says sorrily. 
“What do you think?” 
“You feel like a dream.” He shakes his head. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. I don’t really get how this is real.” 
You shouldn’t be surprised that he’d say it, you practically begged for it, but you can’t stop yourself from sitting up to kiss his forehead gently. “It’s real. Promise. And for the record, you’re handsome. They stopped saying ‘aged like fine wine’ a while ago. Now they just say ‘aged like Spencer Reid’.”
He gives a choky laugh. 
The door opens again. You lift your head expecting Derek and find a weather worm Hotch in the doorway. “Reid, you’re awake,” he says, not bothering with a smile. “Morgan said you have amnesia?” He directs it at both of you. 
Spencer’s looking at Hotch in clear shock. 
“He hasn’t aged that badly,” you chastise teasingly. 
“Hotch, you’re– I thought you would’ve– You’re still–?”
Hotch squints. “You didn’t think I had the stamina for it?” 
Spencer squirms under his gaze. “No, sir, it’s not that–”
“Sir,” Hotch says, and then he smiles. “I forgot when you both used to respect me.” 
“I have the utmost respect for you, sir,” you say through your own smile. 
“Has she been kind to you, Reid?” 
“Uh, yes? Is she not usually?” 
Hotch presses his lips together rather than answer. There’s a sympathy in his expression you resent.
It’s a thankfully quick bout of amnesia. The memories start to draw in like a dusting of powdered sugar, his head finely silted, one particle at a time. He finds that the more you talk, the quicker his memory is jogged. You tell him about your first kiss —I tried to kiss your cheek but you moved, it was the funniest thing— and your second. You spin stories of cases, the worst ones and the best, all the times you held hands without people knowing, the times you’d been caught. He can’t imagine it, goes hot with the memory, picturing kissing you as you’d described and the mortification of being walked in on. 
You tell him about your vacation to Nevada a few months ago and he thinks about how you’d fallen asleep on the plane. Your nose in his arm, your unhappy sigh at the tight leg space. 
Remembering you is more than half of remembering himself.
Your hands —his hands. Your smile —his laugh. The way you fold his hands in your lap —the urge to catch your chin for a kiss. 
He doesn’t know how to deal with it, and then suddenly he feels like Spencer. Your partner, your love, his proudest title for years. You’re standing at the end of the hospital bed in pajamas folding your clothes, allowed to stay the night while he’s so urgently confused and upset, you can’t make him stay here alone, please, I know you guys have those little cots for the kids ward, and he just knows you completely. 
Hours of diligent if embezzled storytelling gives it all back to him. 
“I like the lipgloss because you used to wear that perfume that smelled like sugar donuts,” he says, scratching a hand through limp hair. “And every time I crossed the square by the station–”
You let out a surprising squeal of joy. “Spencer!” you say, racing to take his hands, “Yes! The donut truck!” 
You go in for a kiss he gladly returns. “Oh, you remember,” you say, softening as he takes your neck into his hand. “I was getting worried.” 
“Some of it’s still hazy, but not so much you.” 
You wrap your arms around him for a hug, careful of his sore head. “I missed you, Spencer. I still loved you when you couldn’t remember me, but I missed you. Do you remember you?” 
He traces the scar on your lower cheek with his thumb. He’s genuinely relieved to be able to say he does. He’s not scared of what you think of him anymore, ‘cos he knows that everything he feels for you is mutual. “I remember you telling me my bad feeling was just a case of the heebies.” 
You bend into his touch. “Honey, I’m sorry. How was I supposed to know you’d get your skull whacked with a cinder block? It was a bakery. I thought the worst that could happen was getting a face full of red velvet or something.” You kiss his nose quickly. “I’m so glad you’re you. Now I can sleep in the bed with you, and not that collapsible camping cot.” 
He shushes you. “Don’t give us away. They’re not gonna let you stay if they think I’m fine.” 
You giggle excitedly, arms around him again for another squeeze. “I missed you so much. You’re so devious now.” 
He rubs your back. “I missed you too. And I still have a crush on you, I swear.”
“Thank you, honey, that means a lot to me.” 
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚⋆
thanks for reading!
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ambrosiagourmet · 11 months ago
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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:
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So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.
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In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.
At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.
And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.
Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.
If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.
We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:
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So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.
Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."
So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.
However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.
Isn't that the same thing?
No, no it very much is not.
Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:
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Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.
But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.
If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.
Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.
Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.
Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.
We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.
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And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.
So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.
It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.
And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:
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Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.
And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.
We see her choose to come back to life.
And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:
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Do you want to eat more?
There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.
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When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.
But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.
And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.
It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.
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moonstruckme · 2 months ago
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would you write a part two to whimsy!reader totally knowing remus’ secret? i feel like r would be so sweet and casual about it that remus would cry
Thanks for requesting!
cw: post-moon werewolf Remus, mention of blood and wounds (no description)
poly!marauders x whimsical!reader ♡ 1.4k words
The boys usually send you away this time of month. They try to be subtle about it, encouraging you to go visit your family or sleep over at a friend’s house, but you’re not one to let the full moon pass you by without notice. It didn’t take long for the pattern to reveal itself. 
Still, you don’t argue when James gifts you tickets for you and a friend to see a band you like out of town. You know they’re all most comfortable doing things the way they always have, and you worry that letting slip what you know would do more harm than good; Remus would be anxious and upset, and the other boys would only be doing more damage control than they’re used to with you around. So, you let the full moon pass you by without complaint. 
The next day, however, when you know James and Sirius will have gone to work and left Remus to rest and heal, you sneak into your apartment. 
The fact of Remus’ ailing is immediately obvious; the boys’ things are strewn all over the place, evidence of James’ and Sirius’ running about without Remus to pick up after them. There’s a pot of half-eaten stew that’s been left to cool and congeal on the stove, an abandoned roll of bandages on the coffee table, and the entire apartment smells like disinfectant and heartache. 
When you find Remus in the bedroom, your heart aches, too. He’s sleeping, but even in rest his face is pinched with discomfort, and there are several bandages visible above where the bedsheets rest halfway up his torso. It’s about what you expected, but it still makes your eyes burn. 
You try to let him sleep as long as possible, working with the environment first. You open a few windows to get out the smell and let in the new day, clean the common spaces, start your lavender incense burning in the bedroom. You’re brewing tea when Remus pads into the kitchen, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. 
“Oh.” He startles to see you. “You’re back.” 
You’re startled, too. “Hi, I’m sorry,” you say, hurrying over to the windows to shut them. “Did I wake you? Is it too cold in here?” 
“No.” Remus looks wary, watching you flit about the living room like he’s not sure he’s actually woken up. “It’s nice. When did you get home?” 
“Just this morning. I didn’t see the sense in staying another night, and anyway I wanted to be with you.” You make your way back around the room to him, taking his jaw gently in your hand. His skin is warm to the touch. “How are you feeling, lovely?” 
You feel more than see Remus’ face tighten. “I’m alright. How are you?” 
You let him go, giving him a small smile. “Better now that I’m back with you, thanks for asking.” You go back to the stove to stir your pot. “If you’re warm, you don’t need to keep that blanket on for me. I’ve already seen the bandages.” 
You hear his quiet intake of breath, and then a few moments later the sound of the blanket dropping to the floor. 
“Are you in the mood for some tea?” you ask without turning around. “If you want to get back in bed, I could bring it to you there. I don’t imagine standing is very kind to your legs right now.” 
You’ve been reading up on wolf versus human anatomy. If Remus’ transformations work the way you think they do, the bones in his heels and legs would have to either break or otherwise shorten and elongate to create the legs a wolf needs; you can’t imagine it’s a painless process, or that he’s not still feeling the effects of it now, so soon after the moon.
For a dense handful of moments, Remus lingers on the edge of the kitchen. But soon you hear his footsteps, heavier than usual in a way that makes your stomach hurt, go back towards the bedroom. You finish making his tea and bring it to him with a few pieces of his chocolate. 
He’s sitting up at the edge of the bed, propped up on pillows and watching the smoke curl up from your incense with a haunted look in his eyes. 
“Hi,” you say softly. He accepts the tea and chocolate with a quiet thanks. “Do you think it might help things if I opened the curtains? Some sunlight might be good for you.” 
Remus hums his assent. Everything becomes crisper once you let the light in. Remus’ dark circles and the blood visible through his bandages, but also the healthy flush to his cheeks and the strength of his body beneath the dressings. 
“What is this?” Remus asks you, sipping his tea. 
“Bay leaves. It’s for pain relief. It helps more if you put it directly on the wounds, but I didn’t think you’d want to mess with your dressings any more.” 
He nods. Sighs. “Come here, dove. Come sit.” 
You’re eager to comply. You round the bed to avoid crawling over him, settling against the pillows beside your boyfriend with your shoulder touching his. A support, if he needs it. 
“What’s the incense for?” he asks. 
“It’s lavender. It’s also good for pain, but I thought it might help you sleep as well.” 
Remus nods again. He turns to you, his eyes some mixture of distressed and resigned. “Why are you doing all of this?” he asks. “Why did you come home?” 
“Remus,” you say gently, “we don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.” 
His brows hook in the middle, a small crumbling. “But you know already.” 
You cradle his face in your hand. Your voice is soft. “Yeah.” 
You pull Remus towards your chest when he starts weeping. He dampens your shirt while you comb your fingers through the hair at his nape, saying nothing. Steam wafts up from his tea until it doesn’t, but that’s okay; you’ll make him another cup when he’s ready. 
James and Sirius are surprised to find you when they come home. 
“Angel—” 
“Shh.” You cover one of Remus’ ears with your hand, his head in your lap. “He’s hardly slept all day.” 
James lowers his voice, setting his bag down on the floor. “When did you get here?” 
“This morning.” 
“But you were supposed to be away until tomorrow afternoon.” Sirius climbs up onto the bed. His expression goes tender as he looks down upon Remus’ sleeping face, and the kiss he presses to your lips is gentle.
You card your hand through Remus’ hair. “I didn’t want to be away from him,” you admit softly. “I understand why you want to do things without me on the night it happens, but I’d like to help before and afterwards at least.” 
Sirius’ brow pinches, his eyes narrowing cautiously. 
“When what happens?” James asks you. 
You speak softly, not wanting the words to potentially agitate Remus in his sleep. “The transformation.” 
There’s a thick pause. 
“Who told you?” Sirius asks. 
“No one had to tell me.” 
There’s a quiet chuckle from the end of the bed. James kicks his shoes off, crawling up the covers to meet you. “I told you she knew.” He gives you a kiss, soft and syrupy sweet. “Thanks for looking after him for us, sweetheart.” 
Remus grunts, coming awake. “James,” he groans. “Your knee is on my leg.” 
“Oh. Sorry, love.” James moves, then bends down to give Remus a kiss of his own. “Did our angel take good care of you today?” 
“Better than this.” 
“That’s the moon talking,” Sirius says flippantly, though the hand he uses to rub Remus’ shoulder is exceedingly gentle. “That’s something you’ll learn as we go along, gorgeous. He loves us, really.” 
You feel your brows pinch. “I thought he was as nice as always today.” 
“Wonder why,” Remus mutters, but the look he gives Sirius is teasing. 
James gives Remus another kiss, standing. “I’ll get you some of your soup.” 
“Oh, I…” You give him a sheepish look. “I washed that down the sink. It got left out, the meat was bad. There’s tea on the stove that should help him heal faster, though, if you want to get some of that.” 
James and Sirius stare at you. 
“Seems like we should’ve brought you in on this a lot sooner,” Sirius says after a moment. 
You shrug. Remus mumbles something that sounds like agreement.
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tsuutarr · 2 months ago
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Yandere!Hero (Chosen One) x Saint!Reader
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Being the Hero – the Chosen One – means that the world’s fate is on Elias’ shoulders. He’s long since forgotten how to live for himself, his life belonging to everyone but him. He’s merely a puppet that’s being strung along by the world for the sole purpose of saving it.
At first, he was honored to be chosen as the Hero – it’s a privilege most don’t get. But everyone expects too much – everything – from him. His life is carefully shaped into what others want of him, people only looking at his role and not him as a person.
Now, he fights and saves people due to duty, not desire. There is no sparkle of pride when he helps villagers. Instead, all that is left is another thing checked off of his mental checklist. Now, he just wants to rest. He just wants things to be over.
So that’s why he despised the idea that some Saint from the Church would be his “helper.” Traveling with someone else is only going to slow him down. Not to mention the fact that he doubts the Saint has ever seen bloodshed and disease like he has.
But when he actually meets and travels with you, the Saint, he realizes that you’re actually not that bad. You’re actually kind of nice. He’d expected you to turn your nose at the commoner population, refusing to heal them, but you actively seek them out to help. You’re kind and gentle, but headstrong. Even when you’re visibly exhausted, you do your best to keep going. 
It’s… kind of impressive, actually. He had misjudged you, perhaps.
Even now, you’re helping the knights that were attacked by bandits (which Elias had vanquished), healing not only their bodies but their souls, too. He can’t help but look at you, a raw beacon of kindness that he hasn’t seen before in his travels. 
Once you’re done healing the knights, you look up at him, before a gasp escapes your lips. “Elias!”
He blinks at you, curiously.
“You’re bleeding!”
“Ah.” Elias looks down at his hand, blood dripping down his fingers. He had instinctively grabbed a knife by the blade earlier because he wouldn’t have been able to dodge it in time. “This is nothing.”
“Oh, shush!” you say, approaching him. You push him towards a tree stump, forcing him to sit, which he allows. Carefully, you take his hand in yours, frown deep set on your mouth. Your hand is so warm that it makes his heart burn.
“You’re tired,” he states, bluntly. He doesn’t tug his hand out of yours. “You’ve healed too many people.”
“I can–”
“No.” He shakes his head. “Rest for now, Saint. I am fine.” And he’s right – he’s the Hero, after all. His wounds heal much faster and better than a normal human being. He doesn’t necessarily need your healing.
“Still,” you murmur, looking up at him. “Can I at least clean and bandage it?”
It’s pointless, really, but Elias says, “Do what you want.”
So you do. You disinfect and clean his wound, before carefully wrapping his hand with bandages. For some reason, his heart squeezes painfully as he watches you tend to him so gently. He doesn’t remember if anyone’s ever treated him this kindly.
“There.” You look proud of yourself. It’s kind of cute.
“You didn’t have to,” he mutters without really thinking about it.
You give him a smile that makes his brain stop. “I wanted to. I want to support you.”
For some reason, your words almost make him want to cry. He’s not sure why – he’s seen so much death and destruction to the point that his emotions have become numb. Yet, you bring flickers of his feelings back to him – happiness, sadness, anger, love. 
You make him feel like he has an existence beyond just being the Hero. You make him feel human.
So, how can he let you go? He can’t – and he’ll do everything he can to make you his. Even if it means he has to destroy the world.
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innerfare · 3 months ago
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You’re Jealous
 Summary: You get jealous of someone else in his life.
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Sabo, Law, and Kid
Genre: Slight Angst // Fluff
CW: None // SFW
——— 
Luffy:
He never told you Boa Hancock was in love with him, and when you find out, you have to remove yourself from the situation before you have an emotional outburst and start something with the Pirate Empress. The problem is, you don’t even know which emotion will spill out of you. Finding out the world’s most beautiful woman, and a powerful Warlord, no less, is desperate to marry Luffy is a whirlwind, to say the least. Luffy can seem clueless at times, but his emotional intelligence is through the roof, and he picks up on what has you upset almost straight away. He knows to give you some space, and when he senses you’re ready, he approaches you with a handful of wildflowers he picked. He doesn’t really say much, just pulls you into a hug, presses a few kisses into your cheek and temple, and says in your ear, “you’re my girl.” 
Zoro:
He didn’t mention Perona was also at Mihawk’s castle for those two years until a few months after the crew gets together. He tells a story that features her, and you realize there was a woman keeping him company. Your heart drops into your stomach. Zoro insists he didn’t mention her because he didn’t think she was relevant; the only thing Perona did those two years was annoy him. He’s actually the one who won’t let it go, not you (even though you are pretty jealous). Whereas you’d prefer not to talk about it, Zoro is wracked with guilt because he’d never considered the whole thing in a relationship context. Him fretting constantly over it actually heals your jealousy because you realize you’ve never seen him panic over the prospect of hurting anyone else’s feelings. 
Sanji:
Even with a third eye, Pudding is stunning. And Sanji almost married her. It was before you two were together, but listening to the stories from Whole Cake, hearing how close he came to marrying another woman, knowing she really did fall in love with his kind heart and wonderful cooking, turns you into a little green monster. You know you shouldn’t feel jealous of a woman you’ve never met before, a woman Sanji chose not to marry, but you can’t help it. Sanji is completely shocked that you would feel jealous over his relationship (if it could even be called that) with Pudding, though after thinking about it some more, he does realize why you might be jealous that he had a fiancé. His solution is to bring you a bouquet of roses and walk you through the dark details of his life, telling you things he’s never outright told anyone, so you understand the special place you have in his life. 
Ace:
He collects people without trying, and often times, without realizing, either. Ace thinks he’s just making friends, but you see the way the women he laughs and shares drinks with are drawn to him like plants to the sun. He promises them freedom and adventure (and he has a very nice laugh), and you can see how it excites them. You don’t really mind it, knowing Ace well enough to see the way he holds those women at arm’s length, even if he seems close with them (such is the magic of Fire First Ace). But Yamato makes you jealous. It’s not hearing the way they laughed together but hearing the way they fought that gets to you. You know how Ace lives to fight and even just roughhouse, you know how he’s a rough and tumble guy, and you worry you’re not tough enough. Should you be punching his arm when he makes a joke? Should you be trying to trip him out on deck? What should you be doing? When you finally come clean with Ace about what’s been bothering you, he actually laughs. “If I wanted to be with someone who gives me hell, I’d be sleeping in Marco’s cabin every night. Besides,” he says, scooping you up in his arms, “I like being able to manhandle you.” 
Sabo:
Sabo is a flirt, and you knew that going into your relationship. It actually doesn’t bother you when he flashes that charming smile of his at someone else or swoops in to save a damsel in distress (a speciality of his) and even serves to entertain, especially on the rare occasions his flirtations are rebuked. What does bother you, though, is his tight relationship with Koala. You know it’s ridiculous to be envious, you know Koala would sooner saw off her arm than kiss the man she considers her irksome big brother, but they’ve known each other since they were little kids, and Koala has been through so much with Sabo that the pair have such a close bond. It’s not the angry kind of jealousy that bubbles up in you when Koala mentions something about Sabo’s past that she assumes you know but you don’t, just the sad kind that you try to keep to yourself. Surprisingly, Sabo notices, though you don’t realize until he hugs you from behind and mumbles in your ear that he’s glad you’re the only one who knows he has a skincare routine, his silly words diffusing your mood and acting as the exact affirmation you needed. If it’s not enough, though, he’ll happily prove his loyalty to you by challenging Koala to a karate match, though.  
Law:
Dr. Law and Dr. Robin sure do get along well- so well, in fact, you can’t help but wonder if they are better suited to each other than you and him. Even if they didn’t have such good chemistry, it would be impossible not to feel a touch of jealousy toward the archeologist. She’s intelligent, beautiful, fiercely loyal, a member of the Straw Hats, and has an impressive bounty that she earned even before she became a pirate. Needless to say, you find yourself brooding when the Robin brings him a beer and sits down beside him to discuss the immune systems of fishmen, a topic both are rather interested in. Of course, you’re interested in that, too, thus the reason Law realizes something is wrong when you don’t participate in the conversation. He ends up excusing the two of you and taking you to bed, worrying you had too much to drink, the thought you may be jealous never once occurring to him. You end up not saying anything (many thing in your relationship with Law being unspoken) and just sleeping it off, the fact that he excused the two of you proof enough of his loyalty. 
Kid:
He doesn’t ever talk about his first love, Victoria. In fact, you didn’t even know she existed until Killer got drunk one night and began speaking of his dearly departed. What he didn’t mention was that Kid, too, had been in love with her. It only comes up the next night when you mention it to Wire, who mentions it was the death of his first love, Victoria, that put Kid on the war path and united the first four members of the Kid Pirates. Realizing Wire messed up, Heat chimes in to say, “he’d do the same for you.” But you’re not convinced, mainly because Kid never told you any of this. It tears you apart, leaves you tossing and turning for nights on end, until you finally burst into Kid’s workshop one night ranting about how he doesn’t trust you and holds you at arm’s length. “Heat says you’d do the same for me, but-” Kid cuts you off and says, “I wouldn’t do the same, I’d do worse. Much, much worse.” And from the wicked gleam in his eye, you’re inclined to believe him. 
———
Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!
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