#i lost my head doing this im not sorry | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thegreatyin · 6 months ago

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scoundrel?? what scoundrel???? the magnificent mr cards (who ironically has more of a flower aesthetic going on) is completely unrelated to any "bandaged scoundrels" running around the neath. in fact it's never heard of the word scoundrel ever in its entire definitely long definitely ancient life. but yknow, hypothetically, if it did know the scoundrel, it's confident that they're really really really handsome and cool and epic and they're almost just as amazing as it is and you should totally donate all your valuables to them and stuff

aaand because i like them too much, have a transparent version. the Creachure. the Thing, even.

#the scoundrel's flower theme vs the 'canon' cards gambler theme. the latter lost this round im afraid #i do really like how they came out though #yin art #fallen london #sorry for posting cringe (my art) in the maintag it will probably inevitably happen again #while im here: design notes!#in my head their robe is like. Heavy. very thick velvet probably getting very dirty dragged around on the floor everywhere #the little drapes around their body are probably gold of some kind. the bangles and rings definitely are #the flowers here are almost certainly fake compared to their usual ones.#do you know how much tax must happen on surface flowers going neathward.#the scoundrel probably spends half of their rent budget keeping their stupid aesthetic alive #their glasses stand out like their eyes while wearing the robe mostly due to cartoon logic #they probably mostly have their normal look on underneath. aka still have their bandages #the ones on their hands are fraying bc bat claws grow sharp and grow large. they're a bit fraught over it.#they dont like looking at any part of themself including the hands #it DOES help their mastersona seem authentic though. so that's a hashtag bonus #they mainly trade in luck and debts. and hijinks. they dont officially trade in hijinks but they definitely sure do get up to it #word is probably already starting to spread about how much mr cards hates boats.#surely this has nothing to do with the scoundrel's famed dislike of the exact same thing.#surely.#scoundrelventures

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wildstar25 · 8 months ago

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MiqoMarch Day 21 - Lost

#ffxiv #miqomarch #miqomarch 2024 #ffxiv azem #emet selch #emetazem #implied #Arsay Nun #Lethe Nu #shadowbringers #shadowbringers spoilers #endwalker spoilers #sorta #ffxiv gpose #i will always be thinking about how much arsay reminds emet of lethe #sure aside from the eyes they look quite different #but when it comes to their free spirit it is almost a perfect match #and thats the part of her that emet was always particularly fond of #even if lethes constant wandering gave him nothing but stress #anyways ive always imagined emet to kinda be at a cross road when it came to arsay in shadowbringers #hes starting to gain something of a softspot for arsay as an individual #enough to bring back her dear friend from being lost in the lifestream #but then bits of azem shine through her and emet has to remind himself what all of this has been for #he's doing it to bring lethe and all his other loved ones back #arsay is no replacement for the person he lost so long ago #anyways if this dialogue is cringe im sorry but its what came into my head so

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bicon-crange · 5 months ago

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ppl on twitter are finally finding out that the creators of smiling friends are racist assholes who believe the great white replacement theory and were roommates and great friends with JONTRON

and im like yeah. he's a fucking newgrounds animator. are you all stupid and braindead?

but noooo keep drawing your fucking yaoi of those ugly fucking characters and keep making a literal fucking nazi a millionaire by getting his show renewed a million times i guess !!!

#like do none of you think for five seconds im so fucking serious #im seeing people be like oh nooo but theyre my comfort characters!! 😭😭#and other people be like well that was 7 years ago im sure theyve changed and turned everything around!!#like you people are literally nothing but selfish useful idiots who would rather keep platforming the views + giving money to #this OBJECTIVELY AWFUL PERSON!! instead of like idk. getting into something new. or looking into the shit youre promoting #but you guys dont care abt that bc u dont ACTUALLY care abt how shit like this affects anyone who isnt white #the show is funny and the characters are bright and colorful and vaguely gay in your stupid little head so you just turn your brain off #its incredibly selfish and stupid and literally. sorry. i think you're all OBJECTIVELY bad people.#and literally every artist i liked that ive seen get into this shit i have immidiately lost respect for #you are all so stupid

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rafyki · 2 days ago

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My thoughts are still a mess™. I go from wanting to write poetry and essays about Jack and Joke, both about them individually and their relationship; to thinking about Aran and the beautiful way his character is written and the way he has grown as a person even though we haven't seen it all happen on screen; and then I find myself distracted thinking abou War and how I would beg for just one chance please

#jack and joker: u steal my heart #jack & joker #jack and joker #jack & joker: u steal my heart!#my posts #one of these is not like the others asdfghkljkkll #i may have lost my mind a little #on my knees for that man im SORRY #(just found out hes even older than me by a year do i feel validated in my feelings okay)#someone restrain me im going feral about this #how do i face my students today wheny head is filled with this mess

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nafohcnis · 4 months ago

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what the fuck...what the fuck.......

#oh zenigata im sorry ive forsaken you #ive left you there #and godzilla ate you #buying a replacement will never fill the hole in my heart that you occupied #who will sleep in the small doll bed i bought for you #underneath the red blanket i made for you #next to the monkey lps i got for you #i put him in my pocket cause i thought it looked cute and then his top half fell out... now all i have are his legs #how is he going to run to catch lupin #stupid stupid stupid (banging head against wall)#do i tag this .#lupin iii #inspector zenigata #IF YOU SEE THIS AND YOU'VE BEEN TO HYATT REGENCY O'HARE AND YOU FIND HIM PLEASE RETURN HIM TO ME... LEAVE IT UNDER THE BIG BEAN IN CHICAGO #ILL PICK HIM UP...#LEAVE HIM AT THE LOST AND FOUND IN HYATT REGENCY O'HARE #I WANT HIM TO COME HOME

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horizonslut · 2 years ago

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i love just doing a brain dump of all my weirdest horizon thoughts (mostly bc i’m too lazy to do a full art piece lol)

#i may or may not have been high while doing this #IM SORRY BUT EVERYTIME I HEAR THE WORD EMBASSY I JUST HEAR EM-BUSSY LIKE #also the reason i did the misery x cpr x reese’s puffs meme is because reese’s puffs hAS BEEN STUCK IN MY MF HEAD #also imagine how kotallo reacted when regalla arrived at base. bro probably lost his shit #horizon zero dawn #horizon forbidden west #hzd #hfw #hfw spoilers #hfw art #hzd art

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villalunae · 11 months ago

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stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN

#personal #SAW A POST. LOST MY MIND #''nothing changed u mistook a man for a butch and were attracted to them so really youre just small minded and should be okay with that #attraction bc clearly you hate yourself <3''#This Is The Lesbophobia We Are Talking About When You Guys Pretend We Cant Have Boundaries #like ohhh ishould just love a man instead <3 i should change my sexuality for you <3 i should just fuck guys huh <3 #how fucking dismissive of our experiences. how deeply sick and disgusting of you. i hope ur an adult so i wont feel bad ripping ur hair out #like how dare you! how dare you tell me NOTHING changed. how dare you look me in the eye and tell me that its the same #its not! its not. sorry some people are comfortable with labels that assert boundaries xoxo to you but im a lesbian bc i like women. not bc #i have an aesthetic attraction to a person. if i see a butch i think oh! a butch! a fellow lesbian! and am attracted #turns out to be a guy? oh! not a butch! not a fellow lesbian! nevermind :) and omg i am so normal for that <333 #like god. GOD. what a fucking piece of shit to tell lesbians we should just Let ourselves be attracted to men bc we secretly do anyway #top ten reasons i hate associating with ppl who flout no labels like it works for you im glad but you keep shoving that down my throat #and im going to commit vehicular manslaughter #i have boundaries for a reason! i am attracted to women! i dont like men! WHAT IS SO HARD TO GET THROUGH YOUR HEAD #stop TELLING every lesbian theyre secretly bi but theyre repressing and too attached to the label i will FUCKING kill you #ANYWAY. IGNORE ME LMFAO

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annoyingcat413 · 5 months ago

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An special interest ending feels like telling your wife of 6 years that you’re not in love with her anymore, and it is kind of like that.

#wahhhhh #waaaahh #im so so sorry Mr Toby Fox #Im in profound sadness #I used to know all of the baby is you and could play it in my head whenever I wanted :(#I used to know every detail from undertale and deltarune #I used to spend nights searching for information about old works of his #what do I do now?!?! my dream in life was to become great enough of an artist so that Toby fox would hire me to work on something he made #I prided myself of being probably the second most knowledgeable person about Toby fox #I have no set dream now!#I feel so lost without a dream #do I just wait for one now?!?!?#augh #waaaah #I feel so emptyyyy #whyyyyy #after so many years whyyyyy #what do i do nowww #Toby fox used to be my reason for living #and he still is kinda but it’s not the sameeee #I used to be great #I used to know every single one of his songs #I used to be an expert #and only because there was one person I could never defeat #who am i now?#sorry Mr Toby Fox I think Sherlock Holmes is taking your place #Toby Fox #autism struggles #autism

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attractthecrows · 5 months ago

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retconning stroud out of the deep roads so i can shove laure amell and the hawke siblings and varric and anders all into the same little camp. they would all have such a bad time

#carver: dying of blight. with an inferiority complex. but mostly dying #danie: MY BROTHER!!! MY BABY BROTJER HELP HIM!!!!!#anders: oh god oh fuck. wait a minute. i recognize this area. isnt this where the commander should be? oh hell #varric: we are all going to 🪦die⚰️ in a 🕳 hole. not even a GOOD hole #warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: oh. anders. glad you're not dead or a darkspawn but Why The Fuck Are You Here #anders: oh hell. uh.#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: actually shut up. darkspawn incoming. its too open here so follow me to camp #'uh- commander-' 'shut it. there are shrieks about. this is a nasty area to be in with non-wardens' [glaring disapprovingly]#they awkwardly walk to camp. sigrun and a couple other wardens are there. they all sit down & drop their stuff #amell sits on a stump and pulls out a corked bottle. pops the cork. sniffs it. takes a swig. her white hair almost seems to glow?#she coughs then asks anders 'so why *are* you this far in the deep roads with a band of nonwardens? how'd you even get here?'#anders pulls out the map and hands it over. she looks at it. her expression darkens. she rolls up the map and says 'Anders.' he looks up.#she whaps him on the head with the map and gripes 'do you have ANY idea how long I spent looking for these fucking maps?!' whap 'you dick!'#she whaps him one more time then stuffs the maps into her bag. 'that still doesn't tell me WHY you're here. out with it.'#varric speaks up: 'my asshole brother locked us in a thaig. we came down on an expedition and found an idol that he betrayed us for'#amell frowns. 'a *thaig*? there aren't any records in the shaperate of any out this far. this isn't even a main branch of the deep roads.'#'it could be ancient!' sigrun offers 'or an unsavory secret the shaperate 'lost'. like Caridin?' amell nods & turns back to varric.#'so you're looking for a way out.' they nod. 'and just happened to come by this way?' anders says 'no commander- we need your help.'#amell takes another swig of her bottle. her hair is definitely glowing slightly. 'who *doesn't* these days. but for a pair of old friends-'#she winks at anders. 'what is it you need?' danie interrupts. '-please- my brother is sick- if you can't help him he'll die!'#amell looks at hawke then at carver. gets up and steps over to him. kneels in front of him and unceremoniously grabs his face #tilts his chin up (carotid + jugular blackened) peels his eyelid back (sclera greying and bloodshot) pries open his mouth (tongue greying)#then releases his head and stands shaking her hands. 'oh yeah. that's blight for sure. this is why you sought me out?' anders nods.#'we'll take him. but you know- he may not survive the joining.' 'any chance is better than letting him die!' 'i agree.' amell says coolly.#'youre lucky. we can do it here but the prep will take time. rest. eat. be on your guard. and DO NOT touch my whiskey if you're not a mage.'#it takes like a day of prep. also no one has used amell's name so they havent figured out the Cousins thing yet #eventually amell pulls carver over to the fire and hands him a cup of the joining potion and says 'you get one warning. *don't flinch.*'#he drinks it. he lives. but he's unconscious. amell sends the party on their way #to anders: here. i found this not long after you left. *hands him the phylactery* you and justice be careful. it's getting chaotic out there #to hawke: for what it's worth im sorry. if ever you need the wardens' assistance i grant it under the authority of warden-commander amell

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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obsessed with the bullets from my 'physical impacts from 'gaming'' notes for class cause they all talk about violence and aggression an yeah that sure is a thing in videogames but have you considered ichiban deserves to enact a lil violence. just a bit. also he's the light of my life and the ray of sunshine in the dark and

#snap chats #the videogame segment funny as hell in general cause theres bullets where its like #'yeah youre putting yourself in the position of these hyperviolent and dangerous people'#and then im thinkin of ichiban calling a fuckin crawfish on his phone like yeah. deadly stuff right there youre right professor #tho now that i mention ichiban Aw Fuck he might be the worst/best example of videogames and the correlation of violence #if not solely because his fighting method is literally influenced by dragon quest but i repeat hes valid and its ok <3 #anyway sorry i have to be sick in the head stop reading now if youre a fish. or daigo bear GET OUT #theres a note here like 'increase in arousal' and Honey. if my eyeballs observing this community have a comment on that--#im not guiltless tho 😔 saw that forbidden masato katsu screenshot and i got sick <- still obsessed with how gorg he is #AND WHY DID THEY REMOVE THAT SCENELVKLVKJ ITLL FOREVER BE FUNNY AS HELL #THERES JUST THIS GORJUS AS CHRIST SHOT OF KATSU AND ITS LOST TO THE RGG VAULT #rgg please one high-rendered cutscene of ishin masato is not enough for me. his smile was so cute in the scene pleeaaaaasssee bro #im so ill. anyway im gonna lay in bed for the next five hours until my last class #i thought i was gonna stream but if i even try talking i just might throw up. also i should prob do my comm work instead OOP #luckily its just sketches this week so.... maybe i can stream tomorrow or thursday...#dont quote me on that i suck. anyway bye

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loverofallthingssmart · 9 months ago

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i’m like if the beast and machine formed to make an insane scientist

#i don’t personally consider myself a freak (positive)#but then i had a very long conversation to the mirror abt how much i love pulling teeth out and the bones and the BLOOODDDD and almost lost #my mind and imagining dissecting MORE THINGS bc i’ve dissected a lot 😭😭😭#my favroite parts of the body r ur bones and ur blood..they r so perfect to me when bone peaks out thru the skin OURGH i’m a FREAK im aware #pokes*#i’m so screwed in the head but like in a mad scientist way. calling myself a vile scientist thought #i need to hold a sheep heart in my hand again…that will fix me.#flesh and bones ARGHOURGHAHSHFRASHDH #i love human anatomy. and i love machinery (NOT ai. real machinery.) and i think blending those two things would be cool :)#<- i need to be doing hw rn. sorry beloveds this is all you’ll hear from me.

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stormyoceans · 10 months ago

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mon, i’ve been wanting to text you since friday night, as soon as i finished ep9 but i’ve been so incredibly overcome with emotion, i just have not had the courage to process everything and put what i feel into words.

i have been bawling since the very start of the ep, mon. right from the night-&-day conflict-cause reveal, to the first time day realises he’s losing sight, to the intimate scene, to (of course) the final scene, i have literally been in tears, unable to process any of my feelings. hell, i couldn’t even watch the full ep from between my tears, but i’m too scared to go back and watch so soon. there are so many things i felt, so many thoughts i had that i wanted to share with you but i’m just so overwhelmed even as yet, and i just want you to know, that if ever my thoughts become a little bit more clear and my feelings a bit less overwhelming, you will definitely be the first to hear all i want to say (sorry to be a bother but you’re like one of the few people i can share the utter happiness that this show is for me and i really want to discuss ALL ABOUT IT with you, and get all your thoughts!! but i get so overwhelmed and am so random with being active on this app, ughh it’s so hard 😭😭😭😭😭)

i just wanted to share this one thought with you that i had while watching the ep though, because i know you’d appreciate it so damn much. this series feels like such a beautiful gift to all us fans from jimmysea and p’aof, mon. like the heart that has gone into this project and the sheer beauty that everyone involved has created feels like the best present one could ever ask for (🥹). truly, i have no words other than the fact that i have never, ever experienced anything like this ever before and i am truly so, so overcome with a myriad of emotions, half of which i can’t even name.

WELL FIRST OF ALL YOU’RE NEVER A BOTHER AND YOUR MESSAGES ALWAYS PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE AND MAKE ME INCREDIBLY HAPPY SO JOKES ON YOU SAM!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE ACTUALLY STUCK WITH ME NOW AND I WILL BE SITTING HERE PATIENTLY WAITING FOR YOUR THOUGHTS ON LAST TWILIGHT WHENEVER YOU’RE READY TO SHARE THEM

take all the time you need tho, i definitely understand feeling overwhelmed by this show and not being able to write down everything you want to say. and idk if im the only one experiencing this, but these past couple of months since last twilight started have been so surreal to me like. i haven’t even begun to process 13% of the things that happened in episode 9 or any past episode really and it’s already time for episode 10 tomorrow. we’ve waited for this show for a whole year and in two more weeks it’s already gonna be over and yet somehow im still stuck on the very first episode with so many things to say and so many emotions to deal with and so many thoughts i want to share with you all but it seems too late now except it’s not!!!!!! we’re still here talking about vice versa after almost two years, we’re gonna be here talking about last twilight long after it ends!!!!!!

and to me this does feel like a show that you need to let sink in and settle a little before you can fully appreciate it, not because it’s overly complicated or controversial, but because it strikes something so deep into your soul that you need to watch it multiple times to unravel all its beauty. the feelings you get when you experience something for the first time can’t ever be repeated, but there is new understanding to be found in all the times after it. like you said, even just by watching episode 9 you can tell that there’s so much love and so much care that went into this show, and then you watch the bts videos and you see how hard everyone worked to make this happen, how the entire crew climbed that quite literal mountain just to deliver something special to us

i think that’s why despite all of my fears and worries about the ending that i can’t quite shake off, im also trying really hard to have faith in everyone involved in the show, because it’s a product of love and i will always be so deeply grateful to them for gifting it to the world

#SORRY SAM NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE BUT I'VE BEEN FEELINGS SO MANY THINGS THIS PAST WEEK ALONE AND I CAN'T COPE WITH ANY OF IT #also just wanted to say that im so bad at time management that sometimes it really takes me ages to get back to people #or even worse i don't get back to people because i get lost in my head and in all the things i have to do #that suddenly days have already passed #but please know that you never bother me and that i love hearing from you even if im terrible at replying #I LOVE YOU OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!#last twilight the series #sam ❤️#m: ask

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lateseptemberdawn · 1 year ago

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It's so confusing even to me sometimes especially when it perhaps matters the most how I am an empath as in I will feel like crying while watching someone else cry out if their hearts and I could literally feel their pain but then I'm also so detached like so much so that if someone I know is going through something (as in trouble in paradise (yeah I'm eloquent)) and completely losing it over that person, not being able to function properly like not eating being sad feeling depressed -- it just makes no sense to me??? Like I can't even begin to try to comfort other than just pat pat like??? So you found out they don't care about you don't you just instantly lose all feelings as well? Don't you feel cheated and ridiculed?? Does that mean nothing to you, your self-respect?? And if it does all those things then why do you feel sad. What do you feel sad for. I would feel angry. So incredibly angry and I would simply think I was an idiot to not notice the signs or to stay for as long as I did and it would be like a switch just completely off. I don't think I could ever hold a human above myself. And this makes me wonder if I could ever love at all.

#like ive thought about this ofc but just #it came to me again today #bc someone i know is going through it so im jusy #so lost? like bro snap out of it she used such a lame ass excuse and youre gullible and naive enough to take it at face value and cling on #and crying and feeling sad and sorry and taking your anger out on everybody else #and its extra pathetic the way i always knew that what that person felt was one sided from the beginning and kept telling them about it but #they were so in on their head #like insane level delusion #and i had to comfort them and all i could do was spit out bitter facts #and theyre v immature and like kinda narcissistic #and ik youre not supposed to tell them the bitter truth so soon but that also doesnt make sense to me #oh god am i antiromantic? i dont think so? like ive had crushes before?#im definitely in LOVE w my fav characters and tae and zayn #huh so maybe i am just hopeless irl #well. we'll see about that ig #comfort #antiromantic #detachment

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smoothoperador · 1 year ago

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#sorry i need to vent ignore this #my new years resolution for 2023 was to work out consistently and get fit #bc i was really embarrassed at how physically weak i was last summer #and for the most part i did but with prepa and stuff i couldnt exercise as much as i wanted #but i still lost a bit of weight and was somewhat happy with the results for a while but #now i hate it again i hate it so much #ive been dancing a LOT (like 4h/week min. which is a lot for a fulltime uni student) bc it's convenient and good cardio and most of all FUN #and yeah the weight i lost is due to that and my cardio is good and im definitely much more fit than last year but #i still hate the way i look. so viscerally. and i know its my brain telling me nonsense bc it's not like a body can 'look bad'#and i'm lit a healthy weight im just a little thicker than french standards?#but i need to exercise more i want to lose all this fat i pinch my skin and wish it would melt beneath my fingers #but i dont have time or money for the gym and no buddy to go with and im intimidated so i just work out from home but #it's not enough i feel so discouraged. body dysmorphia in the summer really doesnt help my seasonal depression #like i truly believed this year would be my 'summer body' or whatever shit that means and its not and idk what to do i just want to be #in another persons skin. have another persons body. anyone truly #to the point that dancing isnt even fun for me anymore it's just competitive w myself i want to maximize the calories i burn and #i sometimes record myself cause i want to see the steps i miss and i did and i saw my body and it killed all my joy.#made me wanna die and cry. i stopped dancing immediately and i just swallowed back the tears cause theres no way i look like that.#so repulsive and nowhere near where i wanted. and again i know it's in my head there's no such thing as a 'repulsive' body due to weight!?!#but i cant apply that reasoning to myself. and i hate myself so much rn #im being called for dinner rn but i'd honestly rather not eat. i think i'd feel horribly gross if i ate anything right now #i told my friends i'd stop using hunger as a form of self-punishment but it almost feels satisfying in a twisted way... like i deserve it #clara tais toi #like ia m SO obsessed with my appearance in a way that is borderline unhealthy i am SO #preoccupied by how im perceived (physically) if i look hot if i look pretty if i look cute at any and all times and #the answer is never ever satisfactory because other ppls judgement of me cannot fix my own but like #it's so exhausting. i'm so exhausted #dl later

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digmeout97 · 2 years ago

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being the comedic relief is sooo over need a new typecast asap

#my day started at 6:30am; my day started going downhill at 6:45am #i sliced my finger so bad there’s an actual flap of skin . girl #then after the almost fainting fit was over i applied pressure w a little toilet paper and headed on off to work #got to work my manager said ‘i dont think so’ bandaged me up sent me to HOSPITAL #guys i am so phobic of hospitals and all the surrounding experiences its so bad #so anyways my mum picks me up from work and drops me off w my girlfriend bc i need my hand held #i also lost my worry stone when i was in the hospital last week so thats great cos i was significantly more worried today .#and anyways the nurse is like ur being very calm im like yes also im having an anxiety attack it’s unrelated #she puts on my little steri strips after she LIFTS the flap of skin to check if its clean … and sends me on my (un)merry way #literally straight back to work against her advice sorry to the nurse #like ……. be so fr #sic #also the bandage situation is ridiculous like i need to wash my hair so bad also what do i do

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zenithpng · 2 years ago

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#i dknt have anywhere else to vent so like. um.#i was gonna come out to my mom today #and as i started the conversation that i hoped would lead to that we started talking about lgbt rights and youth #i said some stuff about depression and suicide rates in trans kids #and practically as i was opening my mouth to tell her im trans #she starts talking abkuf how she wishes there was more research #not to help gay and trans people but like. to get rid of them.#im sorry for any typos im like. sobbing as i type lol #but yeah.#i really thought she was comjng arounf to the idea of me being queer and i was so happy #but i guess none of it was real.#i just dkmt even know what to do im iterally so fucking depressed lately and i lost my best friend and now this????#like. damn.#its literally midnight too. i have to get up early tomorrow for classes and yet here i am fucking sobbjng #she even said that she hopes im not depressed any more. like.#holy hell mom. YOURE the one causing it!!!!#idk. i dont knlw what to do. i feel like im getting closer to the edge every day and this just shoved me forward #god i need to stop crying my head hurts #anyway.#yeah #vent

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