strawbarry-larries-blog

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ok mood @rosemary-sensei

Voldemort was killed by a one-year-old and came back without a nose. All the Death Eaters and Dementors and whatnot were blindly following a man who had lost a game of “got your nose” to a baby.

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Whoever did this, well done! ‘I like this, ANOTHER ONE!’ 😜

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The Signs & SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes

Aries: “Haven’t you heard, SpongeBob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world!” Taurus: “I’m not gonna let them ruin the rest of my Sunday.” Gemini: “Well, it is no secret that the best thing about secrets is telling someone else your secret, thereby adding another secret to your secret collection of secrets, secretely.” Cancer: “Gary, go away, can’t you see I’m trying to forget you?!”   Leo: “Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom.” Virgo: “[french narrator voice] Would you please stop imitating me? It is starting to get very annoying.” Libra: “See, no one says ‘cool’ anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say ‘coral’, as in ‘That nose job is so coral.’” Scorpio: “This isn’t your average everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness.” Sagittarius: “Well, first, we have to balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads, stand on one foot, and sing the Bikini Bottom Anthem.” Capricorn: “Hmm, a five-letter word for happiness… money.” Aquarius: “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma [thought bubble shows a carton of milk tipping over and spilling].” Pisces:  “Why must every eleven minutes of my life be filled with misery?”

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OF ALL THE MEMES I HAVE SEEN OVER THE YEARS

THIS TRULY TAKES THE GOLD

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The 5 questions I ask on the first date:

1.) How’s your life 2.) What Hogwarts house are you in? 3.) Do you know how to hide a body? 4.) What’s your favourite color? AND MOST IMPORTANTLY 5.) Do you leave or stay when the credits roll in a Marvel movie. Wrong answer and I will file a restraining order.

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@rosemary-sensei

whoa have you ever noticed that theres no present

like as soon as we do something its done its over with and it automatically becomes the past

me writing this has become the past

you reading the last sentence is the past

there is no actual present and that blows my mind 

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pornhub: the government is doing a bad job of sex education. we’ll do it properly. public: applause pornhub: the government is doing a bad job of snow plowing. we’ll do it properly. public: confused applause

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I was in history today and we were talking about Putin and the KGB and one of the boys said ‘'you know Natasha Romanoff was part of the KGB too.'’ and everyone started laughing and just hitting their heads on tables (me included) and my teacher was like 'Natasha Romanoff? I don't think I've heard of her' and he was thinking she was an actual person and the boy added quietly 'and SHIELD... maybe even hydra...' and I was just laughing my arse off

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When english is not your first language.

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CAN U EAT PUSSY LIKE THAT

All you fuckers: ;) pennywise what that mouth do?? ;)))

Pennywise: eat children

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@rosemary-sensei LOOK LOOK LOOK

Clip shown on The Late Late Show With James Corden

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Somebody write a HP fic where Snape is walking around Hogwarts and just sees Harry biting various objects.

Harry: "...it's for science."

Snape: "we don't even teach that here."

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"merlin/weapons is the true kingsman otp" u rite

His face when he reveals the weapons stash on the plane? True love right there.

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Image submitted by kazokuhouou

#952 I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press. 

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(640): I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is “are you drunk?”