#i literally wrote this in one sitting
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beneath the surface : xiao
pair: xiao x reader info: general audiences, sport injuries, past experiences of drowning, modern au, intentionally lowercase, not proofread
summary: your love for diving is tested, and xiao doesnât make quitting easy either.
word count: 1.1k words series: day 1 of au august 2023 / prompt: sports links: work tag
âwatch,â the sports anchor says as the crowd at the olympic hall hushes.Â
you shut your eyes and take a deep breath. this isnât just any ordinary diverâitâs olympic diver xiao from liyue. he broke as much bones as he did for records in diving. this is a chance you donât want to miss, yet seeing him wobble his weight on the flimsy board makes your palms sweaty.
you can feel the tension of the board beneath you, experience the rush of air as he leaps. you are no foreign to the procedure as a diver yourself.
breath hitched in your throat, you lean forward as he does his twist and jumps, but before he can rip the water, you find yourself victim to fear. you close your eyes and cover your ears. the audience roars. only then do you release that breath you held, and watch in awe as xiaoâs dark hair breaks through the waterâs surface.
shamefully, you look down, avoiding the heavy gaze of your coach that brought you here to teach you a lesson, one you know but find hard to execute.
thinking about it attracts pain in your knees to return. you press them together, a hand over your right knee as your fingers graze over the scar.
âgraceful, isnât he?â your coach says, arms crossed. âto think he had an ankle sprain a few weeks before this dive.â
you nod slowly, unsure what you should say. you canât promise your coach anything, not when youâve yet to win your fears.
itâs uncomfortable to hear him remain quiet as the background cheers. the announcer releases xiaoâs marks. no surprise he jumps to first place.
âi need to use the washrooms,â you mumble, placing your items down. your coach barely gives you any form of acknowledgement as his eyes are fixed on xiao who does a bow before heading off.
finding an abandoned spot beside the toilet behind the hub, you sit on the floor.
sigh.
you wear your hoodie up, pulling its strings so the edges cover your face.
the longer you stall the harder it is for your body to return. your coach was right that you had to make your decision now.
you do love diving, but when you tore your ACL, the months in the hospital were a perfect place to begin reflecting if youâre willing to do it again.
and you did, but you didnât love diving to the extent youâd go through such pains a third time.Â
your career, although amounting to nothing compared to xiaoâs, was still something, and your coach had faith if you pushed past this mental barrier as all divers do with the waters before their dive, then youâd go big.
âbigger than xiao?â you asked once.
âof course not,â the coach said. âyou canât even go through an ACL tear twice, you think you can experience it 5 times?â
a slap to the face, but a little reassuring that you wouldnât dethrone your idol.Â
something cold touches your hoodie and wets it. you bring it down to give whoever who messed with you a strong glare, only to meet with amber eyes and familiar mess of dark hair.
itâs a sports drink, fresh from the vending machine a few meters down. xiaoâs holding it, arms outstretched towards you.
â⌠thank you,â you mutter as you take it.
âhowâs your knee?â he asks, arms in his pockets. he changed from his swimsuit to his casual clothes fast.
âthe news really loved covering it, huh?â you quip as you open the bottle, the fizz of the drink rising.
xiao doesnât respond to your commentary. just stares, patiently waiting for a reply.
âwell, uh,â you add after trying not to be awkward in the silence he brings, âi guess itâs fine. sometimes it feels like i tore it again while doing small tasks, but the doctor inspected it and said itâs healing fine. howâs your ankle?â
he balances his weight on the healthier ankle, then gives his left a twirl.
âitâs recovering.â
âhave you ever thought of taking a break?â you ask out of the blue, although this question has haunted you for months. âeven with new injuries, you never seem to stop.â
xiao takes the empty spot beside you. itâs crazy to see him so close. the last this happened was when you first tore your ACL at the Olympics. you almost drowned if it wasnât for him jumping into the waters the moment he noticed something went wrong.
he was also nice enough to volunteer going with you to the hospital. throughout the ambulance ride, he held your hand and told you tips to bear with the pain.
âi donât know what iâd do if i wasnât diving,â he answers, voice barely there. âthe pain becomes an afterthought soon enough.â
before you can question him further, he stands and makes his leave.
can you see yourself doing anything other than diving?
yes, you can. you have dreams of opening a little cafe at one point in your life. thereâs also that dream of using the money earned from diving to travel the world. you canât be diving forever, right?
head in hands, it dawns on you how isolating xiaoâs fame is. to think he has nothing he can look forward to after his career as a diver⌠it was depressing.
âxiao!â you call out impulsively before his figure disappears. when he turns to you, you find yourself lost for words. would it be out of your place, a mere fan whom he so happened to have exchanged a few words on certain occasions, have any right to say anything?Â
his dreams; his passions; who he is beyond diving? they are questions that bog your mind every time your eyes land on him. who is the boy behind the poster and newsletter and whatever the news make him out to be?
you fiddle with the ends of your hoodie. time is slipping away yet the words donât co-operate.
there are too many things to sayâ
âi owe you two,â you settle in the end.
he looks at you confused.
you raise the drink, then add, âplus, that time you accompanied me to the hospital. after my⌠accident.â
he nods.
âdiving is a dangerous sport,â he says. âif you donât have to means to bear with the pain behind a diverâs elegance, then donât. it is not worth.â
and he leaves. youâre alone with the drink and his advice.
it pushes you oh so gently to your preferred answer to your coach, but something tells you that you need to brace whatever impact this career will bring to your weary body if you want the opportunity to repay him what he did to you.
you gulp down the drink like fuel, readying yourself to face your coach whoâs probably looking for you right now.
will you regret this?
author's note: first post for au augst! not my best work but i think about this au occasionally. i just think it's so fitting for xiao considering his gameplay and the nature of diving.
#xiao x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#xiao x y/n#xiao x you#genshin x y/n#genshin x you#genshin impact x you#genshin reader insert#genshin impact x y/n#donât expect quality iâm writing merely to stretch my brain muscles#and also build the habit of writing#i literally wrote this in one sitting#slo.w#.auaugust2023#bts : xiao
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the system gives SQQ a new plotline to complete by the name of âshen qingqiuâs shidi seduction storylineâ and SQQ is frazzled, as he sees the title and is like ??? excuse me?! how can i do this to my loyal, respectable and ever so straight shidi!!! but system shows the first task and heâs like ah? itâs just tying my hair up?? what kind of seduction is this..? âŚand itâs worth 25 B-points u say?? hmm not bad, not bad at all!! âŚ.wellâŚok! sure đđ
and so it begins. before the next scheduled meridian cleansing, SQQ ties his hair in a high ponytail and itâs honestly kinda nice bc the weather was becoming awfully warm and all. anyway thereâs a resounding knock on the door and SQQ composes himself before opening the door and saying w/ a smile gracing his lips, âLiu-shidi!! this shixiong has been waiting for you!!â andâŚâŚsilence. Liu-shidi looks stunned, eyes quickly glancing at his neck (hm?) before he turns his head, pointedly not looking at SQQ. Thereâs an uncharacteristic flush on his cheeks but heâs frowning, and with gritted teeth, says: âYou--!âŚIâll come back later!â
And in the matter of seconds, heâs gone, and SQQ is just likeâŚ..đ§eh. SQQ touches his hair and feels a bit sad,,cuz surely this new look of his isnât too bad, no? but the system screen shines: +25 B-points!! Host successfully completed first task! Keep it up kya~~!
(ăž; ̄â˝ďżŁ)ăž!! ~~
SQQ:âŚ...
heâs confused now bc didnât his shidi just run away from him?? how did he get the points?? system ah, pls explain the reasoning behind these seduction points! but system is a little shit and doesnât answer so SQQ curses it until heâs tired and decides whatever, heâs got the points so đ¤ˇ
anyways the next task is: caress the arm,,,,which !! hello?? SQQ does not want to end up with a broken hand, thank you very much !! but this one is worth 30 B-Points after all⌠so maybe if he does it fast enough???
he takes his chance after leaving the weekly Sect meeting, catching up to walk alongside LQG, calling out to him softly: âShidi~.â
LQG grunts and turns to look at him, eyebrows raised in question. SQQ smiles: âWill shidi indulge this shixiong and recount his encounter with the Blue-Tailed Dragonsprout?â
LQG hums and is quiet for a few seconds, before slowly retelling his fight with the dangerous beast. Itâs nice, listening to the low cadence of LQGâs voice as theyâre walking along the path. SQQ even almost forgets his intended task (almost!)
LQG is telling the bit where he hand chopped the head of the beast open (as expected of his strong shidi!!) when SQQ takes his chance and brushes his hand slightly against LQGâs. and really, itâs almost comical how quickly LQG stops speaking and stiffens up. SQQ sighs in his heart. ofc. really, heâs not terribly surprised. ofc his most loyal, masculine, and straight shidi would be uncomfortable!!
SQQ looks to LQG to..uh laugh it off?? calmly apologize for intruding onto personal space?? and then. he sees it. a flush on LQGâs cheeks similar to last time and,, his ears are a bit red too now thatâs he looking closely.
hmm?
HMM??
SQQ pauses, and lifts his hand again, this time caressing LQGâs arm (hopefully very sensually but itâs not like heâs an expert ok!!) before hooking his arm with LQGâs.
âShidi, wonât you continue the story?â SQQ purrs, and ok yk what. admittedly heâs a bit embarrassed to be purposefully acting like this, but LQGâs eyes widen and his face turns even more red, and oh.
Oh.
*(gru voice: lighht buulb)*
âŚwell, isnât this surprising?
And so it begins (again). But this time, thereâs purpose. Itâs not just abt the points after all,, esp when his shidi is giving these adorable and frankly tsundere reactions. itâs amusing to SQQ and like,, can u blame him for wanting to see more??
system: âŚâŚâŚ. (ăž; ̄â˝ďżŁ)ăž!! ~~ Encouraging host!!
SQQ ties his inner robes loosely, so during meridian cleansing, his robes slip off just so, exposing his shoulder and part of his chest. thereâs a choking sound behind him which causes SQQ to smile slyly, before calling out: âAh, is shidi alright?â and ofc he gets no response, so he peeks back and ah, there it is!! LQG is not meeting his eyes and is instead focusing on circulating his qi but!, his face is bright red and SQQâŚ.well he finds it absolutely delightful ;).
and so SQQ continues. on a mission together, he makes an excuse that he is âoh so dreadfully tired, wonât shidi let this one rest?â so he can take off his boots and free his aching feet, lifting his robes above his ankle while doing so. (thereâs a loud bang behind him and he looks back to see LQG standing with his hands clenched next to a fallen tree w/ a very suspicious fist-shaped indent).
when they both attend a local festival, SQQ buys himself some tanghulu and he sucks it lightly before biting into it, savoring the sweet taste of the hardened sugar. he licks his lips before putting his mouth on the entirety of the snack again, and makes eye contact with LQG. LQGâs watching him intently, and oh? heâs not looking away? his shidi is getting rather bold hehe. so SQQ cheekily smiles , eyes curving up as he sucks the tanghulu once, then twice, before letting it bulge in his cheek. (gosh system wait tf am I doing?! he should feel embarrassed really!! ) but seeing LQGâs slack jaw and eyes glazed withâŚsomething, SQQ finds that he doesnât rly mind.
and it goes on. SQQ accidentally trips and falls onto his shidi, pushing him down so heâs straddling himâŚ.
LQG cuts SQQ some fruit and SQQ uses his mouth to eat it directly from LQGâs fingersâŚ
SQQ leans against LQGâs firm..and strongâŚand very wide chest after the meridian cleansingâŚ.
and now SQQ is watching LQG sleep (NOT creepily ok) , after insisting that they can share the bed in the hotel, cuz âno shidi i will not allow you to sleep on the floor!â
and SQQ isnât entirely dumb ok, itâs not like he wasnt aware of what he was doing!! at first it rlly was to see LQGâs reactions!!
but SQQâs come to realize that heâŚmaybe kinda sorta likes it?? He likes LQGâs attention on him, he likes it when LQG looks at him with those eyes. Moreover, he likes LQG.
and he can kinda sorta bet that LQG likes him too?? //SQQ recalls the moment when he burst out laughing after seeing SQH trip and fall on his face (serves that hack author right!!) and then a screen pops up to the side: +35 B-Points!! Good job host kya~~!! ^^ and SQQ is like ?????
he looks next to him only to see LQG watching him w/ a gentle smile, his eyes almost,, fond?? (SQQ quite literally feels his heart beating faster and ah itâs almost winter, why is it so warm ??)//
SQQ blushes just thinking abt it, his Liu-shidi really is too OP!! heâs distracted so SQQ doesnât see the once sleeping LQG open his eyes to blearily look at him.
âShen Qingqiu.â the voice is still sleepy and the words are followed up with a small yawn.
âSleep.â An arm comes to wrap around SQQâs waist, to pull him closer and SQQ doesnât know whether to laugh or cry, so he nestles his head on LQGâs chest instead and thinks with resolution, âah tmrw thenâ before falling asleep.
(SQQ confesses, and the bed is put to a much better use wink wink)
the end mwah
#the system: congratulations! congratulations! congratulations! good things must be said three times!#now unlocking new storyline: Love Interest Liu Qingge!#Activating Free Play Mode!! Good luck Host! kya kya#anyway#Omg this turned out so long WTH LMAO#but also this was a fanfic idea i had for so long (like#i mean i has this idea stewing for 5 YEARS!! đđ#but im literally so lazy to write something formal so here it is#any grammar mistakes or OOC-ness or weird writing in general is airplanes fault ok#i wrote this in one sitting after finishing a major essay i had for class#and#i kinda wanted to add more scenes but ;-; i am a lazy bum and i donât wanna type more đ§đžââď¸#anyway liushen lives happily ever after and SQQ rides LQG off into the sunset wait who what who said that#liushen#liu qingge#shen qingqiu#svsss#mxtx svsss#scum villian self saving system
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gentle rejection
#torikasa#enstars#ensemble stars#tori himemiya#tsukasa suou#back at screentone practice AND I THINK THIS EXPORTED NICELY??? OH MY GOD!!!!!#i was not lying when i said im an unrequited love fan this is the nice side#i really like moments like these............ of kind indirect rejection................#here it feels kinda like. i like you but i haven't fully forgiven you#because you knowww tsukasa is the type to get carried away when hes happy w/o remembering that his past actions have had consequences#''shouldn't you know what this means since you literally just wrote it'' no âĽ#i typed in the speech bubble then had to sit there for a second like maybe this wording is a bit too much#but well!!! leaving it as is bcs i like how loaded it feels even if it is a bit cruel#art tag#comic#i think i really achieved my goal with this one#i also think i messed up the height difference but hwatever. pocket sized tori kun
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going insane and i need to infodump about severus snapeâs patronus being a doe for a second. i personally donât think it changed, or lily necessarily influenced it- i think itâs always been a doe, casting the charm in dumbledoreâs office was meant to show that he and lily were supposed to be viscerally aligned with each other and he knows he fucked it up and thatâs why heâs spent almost two decades trying to atone for what he did. on a representative level, the doe symbolizes peace, protection, and innocence, and no three words could possibly represent severus snape more.
all he wants is peace: a peaceful life for himself, a peaceful world, a peaceful school. everything heâs ever done has been to create as much peace as possible. some of it can be considered misguided from a black and white moral standpoint, but itâs what created peace for himself. for example, aligning himself with the purist views of his housemates made him less of a target for bullying- heâs not a pure blood, and theyâd know, and having powerful ambitious students on your side instead of alienating yourself from everyone means you have at least a semblance of protection from harm some of the time. he becomes a double agent for dumbledore to help bring about peace from voldemortâs reign. it might not have been peaceful for him per se, but it was still with the intention of peace in some form. he tries to give other people peace- he takes a vow with narcissa to protect her son because sheâs crying and scared for him, and it gives her peace. he doesnât throw draco under the bus to save his skin when voldemort accuses him of being the elder wands owner, giving draco and narcissa peace even if they werenât aware. itâs either for himself, or for others.
heâs the most protective teacher at the school- would mcgonagall have thrown herself in front of three kids facing a wolfsbane-less werewolf? would flitwick take the burden of an unbreakable vow to protect draco malfoy from voldemort? would any of the DADA teachers have run towards the sound of a screaming woman? he consistently vows to protect everyone and everything he can. and, leading into his innocence, when he realizes heâs only been protecting harry for him to die, it breaks him.
heâs not necessarily innocent in that his hands are clean and heâs never done anything wrong in his life, but heâs innocent in that heâs naive. he trusted voldemort enough to be drawn into the death eaters, he trusted dumbledore enough to be manipulated into his bidding. it feels like he forgets that dumbledore screws him over constantly, dangles things in front of him and takes them away, makes crude assumptions, and has left him to fend for himself essentially their entire relationship. the times that dumbledore abandons him- physically, mentally, metaphorically- he gets very upset. like itâs new information to him that dumbledore treats him like shit. from an abuse perspective, he probably had to spend his childhood mentally erasing what his parents and home were like so he could feel safe and normal, so the constant ebb and flow/back and forth of his and dumbledoreâs relationship is familiar to him. when dumbledore draws him back in with whatever method, heâs right back to behaving as dumbledore wants, doing what dumbledore wants, and believing what dumbledore believes. the times that he remembers that dumbledore doesnât care that he let the guy whoâs tried to kill him or assault go, or that dumbledore thinks he wants only lily saved because he desires her romantically or sexually, or that dumbledore has only been using harry and, by extension, him (as heâs been the one protecting harry) to play the long game of destroying voldemort are the times that heâs emotional in the books. he cries, heâs vulnerable, he raises his voice, he begs and he pleads and he defers. he doesnât do that any other time, other than when he found harry watching his memories. he trusts and he forgives (or he forgets, or he feels safer pretending he doesnât care whatâs been done to him/how heâs been treated.) a doe is perfect for him. reducing it to something like tonkâs patronus being changed as soon as sheâs in a relationship with lupin or that itâs only a doe because of lily evans completely erases his entire way of thinking and behaving and being.
also, in a self indulgent addendum, itâs a very feminine animal, and severus is consistently aligned with femininity. hermione calls the half-blood princeâs writing feminine. he wears his motherâs clothes as a child, and lupin encourages neville to dress his boggart as his grandmother. heâs quiet and docile and tries to be non-violent unless heâs pushed to his breaking point, and even then itâs screaming or crying or getting animated. heâs emotional and frequently painted as hysterical. he gets the âwoman character treatmentâ: to the average viewer who doesnât think about him long enough to understand otherwise, he only desires lily. the consensus is that he chases her, he only thinks about her in the context of attraction. the line about looking at her greedily is constantly understood to be lust, and not a desire for love or a desire for a peaceful relationship for once in his life (and a relationship that only ever seems to be platonic at that). he even backs off and all but disappears from her life when heâs asked to, while james (the one with the stag patronus, the classic triumphant male character) harasses her and pursues her and behaves in a way that makes his son decades later wonder if he forced lily into a relationship. heâs behaviorally aligned with what femininity in the eyes of misogyny is supposed to be. he keeps to himself, heâs quiet, he sacrifices every bit of himself for students and coworkers and superiors and expects nothing in return, he pushes his students to be the best they can. (iâd say nurtures with my whole chest, but as the narrative comes from harry, we canât really be sure. in my view, his house won the house cup for several years in a row which was only interrupted by dumbledore awarding a fuck ton of points to his gryffindor prize pony, his classes are seen as high performing and advanced by even dolores umbridge of all people, he only tries to punish students albeit a bit violently after several attempts of getting them to understand why what they did was wrong, which seems to be pretty nurturing in comparison to what other teachers allow and do). whether heâs trans, or had been influenced more by eileen, or he was intended to be deeply complex and contradictory and that meant that he had to have these traits, or any other of the multitude of reasons for snape being an inherently feminine character, itâs there. his patronus wouldnât be a stag, he wouldnât be anything overbearing and he wouldnât be anything aggressive. it doesnât make sense with his soul and his personality and his life. the peaceful protective innocent/naive doe, however, does.
#severus snape#snape#pro snape#patronus#snape meta#severus snape meta#iâm going insane#i wrote this at work. i couldnât sit with all of this in my head anymore#heâs the character ever#he deserves the coziest quietest little life ever. i hope he gets it in his next one#heâs so tragic and misunderstood and villainized. i might be crying a little#i could literally talk about him and all of this for hours i just figured i should stop where i was#sheâs giving novel
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Alenoah Week 2024: Day 3 - "TDWT Ending Rewrite"
The trek to the top of the volcano was, in layman's terms, agonizing.
Searing heat, somehow simultaneously swelteringly humid and suffocatingly dry, blistered at every inch of Noah's exposed skin and burned through his lungs like hot coals with every laboured breath. The sweat that would've been dripping from his exhausted body like a faulty faucet didn't even have the opportunity to form into pearl-shaped droplets before it evaporated against the overwhelming force of just how fucking hot it was.
And yet he'd made it.
He'd gotten there first, too.
Noah had somehow managed to out-slither the slippery fiend whilst the two were stumbling across the skipping stones of a lava lake, despite the weight of his pineapple dummy causing him to falter after almost every step.
The maw of the volcano bubbled and spat embers at his feet, just a few measly inches from the cynic himself. It was time to end it; the competition, the show, his⌠rivalry with Alejandro.
As if the mere thought of the Spaniard had somehow summoned him, Noah heard the tell-tale clicking of heeled boots against rock behind him quickly followed by harsh, laboured panting (not nearly as desperate as his own wheezing, but a far cry from the womanizer's usual composure). Alejandro's ponytailed hair rose from the plateaued peak of the volcano, followed by a pair of thick eyebrows furrowed against sweat-sheened skin, then a pair of furious sage green eyes- and sage was the most appropriate description Noah could think of, since they burned with a competitive fire comparable to the all-encompassing heat around them.
"It's over, Alejandro. I have the high ground."
Noah's voice was a hoarse, painful rasp, though whether it was from its unbearable dryness or the tenseness of the situation, he wasn't sure. He stood firmly at the edge of the volcano, searing light illuminating the edges of his form like a foreboding halo as he held Pinealejandro almost covetingly in a bridal carry, hovering the dummy over the scorching cavern of its imminent demise.
Alejandro- the human one, not the pineapple one- continued his unwavering ascent to the volcano's peak until he was but a few insignificant feet away from Noah. His shoulders visibly rose and fell with each huff of magma-scorched breath, and the barbaric snarl he bared towards the bookworm twisted his handsome features into something wild, alight with a passion that burned at white-hot as the lava below.
Then he roared.
"You underestimate my power!"
And lunged towards Noah, carelessly discarding his own pineapple dummy (comparatively twiggier and more feeble looking than Noah's own) as he cleared the space between them in the blink of a cinder-dusted eye.
"I will not lose to someone as infuriating as you!"
Before he could process what was even happening, Noah found himself scooped away from the edge of the volcano and lifted a few extra meters off of the ground, held victoriously above the latino in an overhead lift like he was some sort or glorified barbell. The shock of which inadvertently caused him to drop his own dummy, sending the construct tumbling into the bubbling, gaping chasm below until it plunged into the awaiting magma with a barely audible 'plop'.
For a brief tension-paused moment the two remained eerily still, almost frozen in place with disbelief (an impressive feat, considering it was far too fucking hot for anything to freeze atop the volcano).
Well.
That was that, then.
âŚIt was sort of anticlimactic, really. Noah was almost disappointed.
"Um," The bookworm began, quickly schooling his surprise at being lifted and brandished like a javelin into his usual apathetic countenance, "Are you going to put me down, or�"
Noah's enquiry was met a bark of high pitched laughter, a sound so entrenched in sardonic humour it was practically swimming in animosity.
"Ah, but Noah," Alejandro preened indulgently, as if he were speaking to a small child, and his snarl curled into a manic grimace. The archvillain's eyes were widened to their extreme, dying wisps of ember light flickering across his gaze which trailed from the waifish nerd held above his head to the boiling magma below.
"I still have a dummy to discard of."
In other words,
THROW THAT TWIG
INTO THE VOLCANO!!!
#enemies to lovers was yesterday today it's enemies AND lovers (and attempted murder)#what's more romantic than a competition fuelled hate-crush ultimately leading up to a final standoff atop a volcano?#listen i swear this is romantic. just in like a kismesis kind of way. (ew homestuck reference)#not gonna lie i kind of popped off with the writing on this one#considering i wrote it all in one sitting at 5am this morning#the art's cool too i guess#total drama#td noah#td alejandro#alenoah#alenoahweek2024#high effort shitposting#this is nothing it's literally nothing
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i'm desperately interested in your lannister in the walls symbolism essay if that's something you would like to share
you know what i would. like all my summer 2022 notes app archival material it is both deranged and very informal. but i had just read cersei i affc for the very first time and i was convinced i was cooking something up. Hereâs the intro the rest of it is under the cut so itâs not a scrolling nightmare:
so my like big tinfoil theory ab this so far is that the walls and tunnels of kings landing represent like the cataclysmic institutional rot that will destroy the city because said rot is also the truth of it. The little birds who convey the truth to varys while also representing how fucked up this place is because theyâre child servants with their tongues cut out. Also like how the doom of valyria was in its walls because the enslaved were literally in there and bc that evil was institutional. Also like the rot that consumed tywin lannister whole cause heâs kings landing in microcosm or whatever. the doom of kings landing is quite literally in the walls cause of the wildfire, and because itâs wildfire it is also LITERALLY the doom of valyria. Just like the Doom was a lot of fireworks but itâs real downfall was the true extent of its rot filling every space in the walls and under the empire, the walls and tunnels of KL are also the Lannister Cognitive Dissonance Basement.
Tywinâs Hypocrite Tunnel reveals the truth of who he was the entire time. Tyrion learns the worst truth of his life in the tunnels, and then comes up thru the Hypocrite tunnel to kill his dad and also he decides to be evil while heâs down there because he thinks thatâs the truth about himself, that the rot is also his. But thatâs like our mini doom of valyria, that everything tywin hated about himself as well as the people he wronged he shoved underneath the city until it came up and explosively killed him.
Cersei starts her flop for crows arc by in tandem refusing to go into the tunnel or think abt its purpose while refusing to acknowledge any of her fatherâs flaws. The Tyrion in her head thatâs taunting her about being in the walls is the same voice thatâs confronting her abt the truth she is repressing abt her father. She knows her doom is in the walls and under the city, but she thinks itâs tyrion when actually itâs the threat of every single truth she has ever repressed to form her delusional worldview coming back to destroy her (the truth that the rot is hollow and pursuit of tywinâs kind of power means nothing but self destruction and also that her mirror was the one who might kill her and not the brother she thinks is different from her in every way). I dont think shes going into the walls until itâs time for her to blow the city up tbh. apocalypse!!!!
Side note: the tyrion in her head being cersei especially is so. like for the past three books we have been told that cersei lannisterâs main trait is her pride and vanity. and then you get to her first POV and itâs immediately clear that everything she hates about herself, her father, and the world she attributes to tyrion and everything she likes about herself she assigns to something she inherited from her father, something jaime should be, or both. queenhood and womanhood and her own body are just coffins her family has stuffed her in to fit their own needs. For cersei, the body is a construct just like the Red Keep is, and it is a prison!!! itâs the cage they kept the lions in under Casterly!!! The power sheâs constantly chasing after is just the ability to be taken seriously in her own right, respected as a person and not a woman (which to her are antonyms). What presents as her pride and vanity from the outside is actually just a constant battle against the reality that cersei lannister doesnât really exist because she has absolutely no stable sense of identity and is just as empty as the rest of her family!!!!
Back to the walls: Jaime has a running theme where he can only speak or think the truth if heâs underground, like harrenhal bath moment or taunting catelyn abt bran and the incest in the riverrun dungeon or telling tyrion about tysha in the black cells or his dream in the cave with brienne where heâs like itâs dark out so i can tell the truth abt her being a beauty and a knight. Itâs the same with the tunnels. He starts HIS flop for crows arc going in first to the Tywin Hypocrite Tunnel, and has to confront the truth that he doesnât actually know his brother like he thought he did, or his sister, or his father, or himself really. Also that heâs kind of responsible for their fatherâs murder. ALSO he finds a dragon mosaic that he thinks is rhaegar, telling him âI know you, kingslayer.â He has SO many repressed truths come up in this tunnel, but he just comes out and is like lol who knows whatâs down there not me whoever did this could still be down there look out.
Not that it wouldâve been smart to tell Cersei the truth, but it definitely indicates that during Jaimeâs feast arc he will not be confronting anything unpleasant because he doesnât want to. Pushing the truth of yourself away and into the walls and under the city means you can be somewhere (the red keep) without really being there at all, which I think is the connection to Jaimeâs dependence on dissociation and going away inside and his relationship to institutions. The details of why he didnât say anything about the wildfire arenât super clear but I think him hunting the pyromancers but leaving wildfire in the walls is representative of the fact that on some level deep down he believes in false knighthood, that you really can solve institutional rot if you are Good, if you do enough Heroic Sword Violence to the right people. Lady Stoneheart is in a cave or something I think so thatâs his big underground inability to repress anymore-related downfall looming.
So anyway TLDR: Cerseiâs right, thereâs something those walls and under the city thatâs going to destroy them all. Itâs not tyrion lurking, but like the irrepressible truth that the rot and evil at the heart of the red keep has eaten it whole, and that the Lannister legacy and conception of power propped up by violence and intimidation is just hollow. Thatâll get them because that singular truth is enough to crumple everyoneâs self-concept and is too much to overcome even with the Lannister dedication to cognitive dissonance. Which is why I think Cersei blows it up when she gets to the point where she cannot lie to herself abt shit anymore. If twow drops and actually joncon ends up starting the Great Kingâs Landing BBQ of 301 AC i actually didnât say any of thisđ
#anyways foucault voice castles and bodies are both like prisons#valyrianscrolls#asoiaf#affc#touch grass is usually the operative expression here but i actually literally wrote this sitting by myself on top of a mountain#also true for this one lmao
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haha hey remember that whole speech izaya gave to masaomi about how his guilt over getting saki hurt "will be [his] god" and how it mirrors izaya's role in shinra's stabbing and how he STILL has nakura under his thumb because of it, partly because of his own guilt in the matter. haha did you know that if youre unaccustomed to feeling guilt for whatever reason- either you repress it constantly or just straight up can't feel guilt- when you DO end up feeling it full-force, you have absolutely no coping skills in place to deal with it because.... well... when have you ever? when could you have learned? haha did you know that this can lead you to repressing guilt even further because of how distressing the act of Feeling It is?
haha do you ever think about izaya- not the person himself but his name, a different reading of "rinya," named after the biblical isaiah, his father a Christian, growing up in a religion that heralded guilt as not only an absolver of oneself but as a necessity to eternal life? do you ever think about how growing up seemingly unable to feel guilt would do to someone in this environment? this horrible feeling as you realize you lack the inate ability to feel something so crucial to life, to the afterlife? to being remembered? to continuing on? and what happened the first time he ever felt guilt over something? he was just a child, dealing with an emotion he'd never felt before- did he repress it? it seems like he did. imagine trying to repress guilt then feeling more guilt over your repression of it, because not being able to feel it is one thing but actively turning away from it is another, but god, it hurt, and you have sisters to feed and a life to live and hurt compounding in on itself and you know human beings have limits and you can't go on feeling guilt and reach yours. you have sisters and they need you and you know you would never shed your cowardice long enough to kill yourself, so whatever hell you were in, you'd be stuck there, so best not make it worse.
you can go through your life thinking that your lack of guilt was because you don't really do anything that necessitates guilt- you don't do much of anything at all, really, you just watch, but then you meet a boy and you do things and you do more things and a floodgate opens and things get riskier and riskier and your only friend gets stabbed and that, that necessitates guilt and it comes in droves- overwhelming, horrible, and you're completely unequipped to deal with it.
you know you're rotten, now, but there's nothing you can really do about it. so you continue on being rotten and repressing any guilt you feel because the thrill of doing what you do outweighs the guilt anyway, and it's not like you can stop- not like you want to stop, more like, because you're in control of everything. and most of all, you're in control of yourself. and all the while that guilt lingers behind you.
watching.
judging.
you may have become an athiest but you've created your own god, ready to condemn you to your own Hell.
isn't that funny?
#durarara#izaya orihara#orihara izaya#waposts#literally was just sitting here thinking 'hrmmm i havent done a meta in a while' then wrote one lmao#this is like.... 3x the length i thought itd be#anyway. izaya and guilt. no this does not contradict the aspd headcanon YOU CAN FEEL GUILT AND REMORSE AND JUST REPRESS OR JUSTIFY IT#THIS IS IN THE DSM#ITS IN THE DSM!!!!!#SO DONT TRY SHIT#aaaaaand post! teehee
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It is done
#who's the baddes bitch that wrote 6k in one sitting? THIS MF BITCH THAT'S WHO!#now time to edit and proofread this bad boy#*sees my editing notes that i wrote while writing the entire thing so i can just go back at it* *its a page long* OH GOD#i love it so much!!!!!!!#also pls read the author's note at the end of the fic đ#good luck to everyone reading it the second it drops â¤ď¸#end of an era#drafting this post will be a pain in the ass literally the worst part of uploading a fic#but it'll be worth it#hope you all like it!!!#katy mumbles#katy updates#bdas#update on Saturday???? if i finish early but most likely sunday
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New fic!
Restorative Violence
Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson,
4/4 chapters, 30k words
Dark comedy / Angst / Kas!Eddie theory
Eddie is being weird. Steve investigates (also hankers to taste a dick or two).
With all the goddamn bites, they kept him under observation for two nights, which Steve thought long enough. There were other people to be treated at the hospital, in those chaotic early days that followed the transformation of his hometown into a mega-size hot cross bun, and to keep him in after the rabies and tetanus shots and some thick-ass bandaging on the wounds for any longer would be, he thought, stupid. Hospital beds were needed. There was mass panic, injured people, orphaned kids. Many fell into the rift and were never retrieved, either burnt to a crisp or turned into bat chow. He saved one person. With wounds still biting his sides, it was enough, it was all he could do, plus vanity wouldnât allow him to just pass the title of biggest hero to deady Eddie, simply because the guy wanted to be cute and died on them, in the process. He did look dead when Steve came back for him.
read on ao3
#steddie fic#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#heee hoo this one is kinda different#wrote it literally sitting on a garden swing in the shade of a huge fragrant linden tree#while drinking elderberry champagne#between swimming in a lake and foraging for wild strawberries#and with luck and skill that idk if I possess it's gonna be the most fucked-up thing I've ever written heeeheeee
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Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k
There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead.Â
Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this.Â
He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs. Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!
Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair.Â
Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like thisâŚFernando felt embarrassed for him.
He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.
His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ahâ" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?"Â
Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the otherâ
The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs.Â
One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles.Â
There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him.Â
"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"
Oh. Yes. That.Â
It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.
Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the bratâŚsomething he himself was decidedly not looking forward to.Â
Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly.Â
Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.
Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor.Â
Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step.Â
Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-
Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's.Â
He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.
Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before.Â
Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray.Â
He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further.Â
Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs, "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other handâŚ"
Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of!Â
But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mĂo, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons.Â
#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art.#me like two weeks later: hey guys :)#this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod#not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright???#but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling....#maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing!#anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE)#see this is why im not cut out for writing fic#its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts#if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5#anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness.#well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage#but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future#but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning?#also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv#mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all#hmm now how does one go about tagging fic#vettonso#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1#formula 1#martian#sebmark#also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed#hahaha! it is art to me!:#catie.art.#boy king au
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Gally hides a lot of his panic attacks and nightmares that he got after he went through the Changing in a desperate attempt to be liked again in the Glade
He was kind of universally hated in the books, apparently becoming extremely unlikeable after he got Stung
which is honestly so sad. What he saw drove him slightly insane and he couldnât handle it and shut down.
#itâs 2am I hope this makes sense my brain is losing itself#in a âTeresa livesâ AU I can actually totally see them becoming friends#if I had a nickel for every time a maze runner character witnessed horrors and did bad things#that specifically involved sacrificing one or two people in order to benefit many more people#I would have two nickels#they also bond over being extremely protective over Minho#because I think Teresa would be super duper protective of Minho in Paradise#partly out of guilt and partly out of trauma#she works closely with the doctors to heal him and visits him daily to make sure heâs feeling a-okay#she spoon feeds him when heâs too weak to feed himself#actually she has almost an obsession with bringing him food or feeding him or cooking food for him or just watching him eat in general#but itâs because WCKD regularly starved him or used food as an incentive/weapon against him#and now sheâs just extremely determined to make sure Minho never has that happen to him again#Thomas sits in the corner awkwardly waiting for Teresa and Gally to finish fussing over his boyfriend so he can kiss him#Minho wakes up like âI donât remember having a girlfriend as well as two boyfriends???â#and Thomas is just âYOU DONT????â#Minho will be sleeping on the couch for that comment tbh#Minho goes to Gally and/or Teresa whenever he and Thomas get into arguments#Thomas is so confused by this. Especially Teresa#âYOURE LITERALLY MY EX GIRLFRIEND YOU SHOULD BE ON MY SIDEâ#idk if I actually agree with anything I just wrote but Iâm too sleepy to do things like reread
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Are You Happy?
sudden burst of inspo be like:
sorry i dropped off the face of the earth(ish) apparently im limited to three fics per fandom haha
anyway south park amirite
(also psa im bri ish so idk how american unis work so the boys r 18ish here but im p sure i didn't get anything disastrously wrong)
word count: 1459
pairing: Lee!Craig/Ler!Tweek
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
âCraig?âÂ
Tweek sat on his bed next to his boyfriend, anxiously tugging on the base of his shirt as he studied Craigâs expression. Despite being the stoic one of the two, he had a strangely tense look about him.Â
âYeah?â Craig said, fiddling with his fingers.
âUh, are you- ACK, okay? You seem kind of n-nervous?â Tweek asked, twitching a little.Â
âOh, yeah Iâm fine,â He responded, still looking at his hands, âWhy wouldnât I be?â
âGAH- uh, because of your uni-university application?!â Craig had applied to the University of Coloradoâs astrophysics course and was due to hear back at some point in the coming week. Although he had the grades for the course, he wasnât sure about his personal essay and had been internally freaking out for a while. It was Saturday now, and his nerves were at an all-time high. He guessed it was starting to show.
âNo.â He said, then paused, âYes. Iâm just worried I wonât get in.â Honesty is the best policy, or whatever.
âOf course you will!â Tweek said, winking out of anxiety. âYouâre the- GAHAH- smartest guy I know!
Craig hummed, digging his feet into the bed.Â
âI donât know about thatâŚâ He muttered.
âAnd besides! Maybe theyâre just BUSY! Or running late or s-something.â He said, screwing up his face in a twitch.Â
âMaybe,â Craig said, unconvinced. âYouâre lucky you donât have to worry about this.â Tweek had taken a gap year to work at his parent's shop and figure out what he wanted to do with his life. If Craig was accepted then he would follow him to Boulder, or wherever he wanted to go. Tweek was sure heâd follow Craig to the ends of the earth.
âAH- donât mention that! Itâs WAY too much pressure!â
âRight,â Craig said, âSorry.â
Tweek twitched anxiously. He had almost no experience in comforting people and was way out of his depth. Craig probably didnât want to talk about it, and he wasnât sure what else to do. He gently tugged on his hair, thinking about what Craig had done for him when he was anxious. Slowly, an idea formed.Â
âCraig?â He said, again.
âYeah?â
âUm, do you want me to- ACK- cheer you up or some-something?âÂ
He looked at Tweek, a little bemused.
âYou can try,â Craig said, curious as to what he would do.
Tweek took a careful breath in, then shuffled closer to Craig and, shivering slightly, wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Craig tensed, then sagged into his boyfriend's touch. Despite having been âtogetherâ for around eight years, their relationship had only become real two years ago, and even still they were a little shy around each other. Tweek was too anxious to make the first move most of the time, and Craig had no idea how to, so they danced around each other until one of them stepped up.Â
Craig had forgotten how comforting Tweek could be if he tried. When Stripe 5 had died Tweekâs hugs had been the only thing keeping him together. He sighed and shuffled closer to him, breathing in the smell of coffee.Â
They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Tweek worked up the courage to enact part two of his plan. He placed his spare hand on Craigâs side and began gently tracing his fingers along his hoodie. Craig stiffened again, jumping when Tweekâs fingers twitched against him.Â
âHoney, what are you dohing?â He said, stifling a giggle when Tweekâs fingers crept toward his stomach.Â
âWell, you remember when- GAH- I was f-feeling anxious about nothing a few weeks ago, and you asked me if you could cheer me up? And I said yes so you started t-tickling me and you didnât stop until you thought I was happy? And I kept- AH- saying I was happy but you were like âI donât believe you, honey.â and it t-tickled really bad? Do you remember that?â While he spoke Tweekâs other arm slipped from around Craigâs shoulders, making him squeak and slide down the bed as Tweek started pinching his side.Â
âNohoho,â Craig said, trying to bring his knees up to protect his stomach. Tweek noticed and shifted till he was sitting on Craigâs thighs to keep them down.
âNo?! You donât r-remember? It was only a few weeks ago- GAH-, you must have a pretty bad memory.â
He started scratching Craigâs stomach, making him laugh properly.
âI rehemehembeher!â He cried, his hands torn between covering his face and pushing away Tweekâs hands. He settled on tugging the flaps of his hat till it covered his eyes.
âOh! G-good. Then you remember that- AH- you kept teasing me too? You were like âDoes this t-tickle, babe?â âHow about here?â âAre you having fun? You sound like youâre having fun.â. So, Craig, I want to a-ask you: are you having fun?â
âAhahaha!â
ââThatâs not an answer, babe.â Thatâs what youâd say.â Tweek said. He had to admit that he was sort of enjoying himself. Craig had tickled him, but heâd never worked up the courage to get him back. Now though, as he watched his boyfriend squirm and blush and laugh under his wiggling fingers, he understood exactly why Craig got him all the time. His laugh was somewhat monotone but it had a lightness to it that made Tweek feel all warm inside.
âAre you happy? Are you h-having fun? Do you- AH like this, baby?â He teased, drumming into his ribcage.
Craig was sure he was going to die. Tweekâs fingers were sending little bolts of lightning through his body, darting around so he couldnât catch them. Worse, though, was the teasing. He was sure it wasnât as bad when he did it to Tweek, his stomach was full of butterflies and his face was burning hot. Tweek rarely called him pet names, so he was sure he was about to combust. But the worst of it was that he was enjoying it. It was fun to have Tweek be so playful and close to him and to have all his anxiety chased away by his uncontrollable laughter. Not that he was going to say that to him though.Â
âAre you- ERK- ignoring me?â Tweek said, grinning impishly. His fingers wiggled upwards, then lifted entirely.
Craig panted, pushing up his hat and catching his breath.
âIhihiâm nohoht ihignohoring yohou.â He giggled.
âThen answer my q-questions, love,â Tweek said, still smiling as his fingers twitched in the air above Craigâs chest.
âWhahat were thehey again?â
âDo- AH- do you like this? Are you h-having fun?âÂ
âUh,â Craig trailed off, pulling his hat down again, âMaybeâŚâ He whispered.Â
âWhat was that?â
âMahahABYEHEHE!! TWEEK!â He squealed at Tweekâs fingers suddenly wiggling into his underarms. Craig slammed his arms down and arched his back, trying to squirm away from the unbearable feeling.Â
âOops, I d-didnât catch that.â Tweek said, using his pointer fingers to rub little circles into the divots of Craigâs underarms.Â
âI LIKE IT! I LIHIHIHIKE IHIHIT! PLEHEHAHASE HONEY, IHIT REHEHAHALLY TIHIHICKLES!â
âAnd youâre happy?âÂ
âIHIHIâM HAHAPPY! WHEHENEHEVEHER IHIâM WIHIHITH YOHOHOUHU IHIâM SOHO HAHAHAPY!â
Tweek squeaked, blushed, and toppled off Craig, falling to the side of him. He shifted and turned to face him, where Craig had done the same.
âDo- GAH- do you mean that?â He said, shyly.
Craig took a few deep breaths, âYeah,â He said.
He tried to adjust his hat but ended up taking it off and throwing it somewhere vaguely behind him. Instead, he leaned forward, kissing Tweek softly.Â
He made a content noise and leaned a little deeper into Craig. At that same time, the doorbell rang and Craigâs mother called him downstairs.
The two boys looked at each other before racing down the stairs and stumbling into Craigâs kitchen, where his mother stood holding an envelope.
Craig took a deep breath in, crossing the kitchen and ripping it open. Tweek felt his heart hammer, nervous on Craigâs behalf. His eyes scanned the text before he closed the letter again and gently set it down on the counter. The tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Slowly, he turned to face Tweek.Â
Tweekâs heart sank. There were pinpricks of tears in Craigâs eyes and he was ready to offer the ultimate sympathy when a smile took over his face and he announced, in the driest, most monotone voice,
âI got in.âÂ
Everyone erupted in cheers. His mother, his father and sister (who had come to see what all the fuss was about,), and Tweek.Â
They all rushed forward and Craig found himself crushed between all his favourite people.Â
Tweek caught his gaze and smiled, his eyes glittering.
âI t-told you there was nothing to worry about. Youâre the smartest guy I know.â
#lee!craig#ler!tweek#south park tickles#i am binging south park like youve never seen. im on season 19 and i started like a month ago#bearing in mind im at college full time i think its a pretty impressive run lmao#just finsihed tweek x craig and UHH SUDDEN INSPO#plus i thought abt this while i was bored at work#literally wrote this in one sitting idk where all this motivation came from#ok thank for reading bye#my fics
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Man, it is JOEVER.
#Not even writing makes me feel better#Yesterday I sat in a restaurant and wrote for literal hours#And at the end of it I didn't care at all#It barely made me happy#I was just sitting in my closet trying to record my most recently finished chapter#And I literally left my closet without recording a single sentence because I feel like what I wrote sucks ass#I feel no connection to it#I genuinely feel nothing when I re-read it#It's like all my love and joy and excitement for the very craft of writing has disappeared#This was like#My one reason for staying alive but I feel like I genuinely don't give a shit about it anymore#I feel next to no desire to continue working with this craft I've loved since I was a child#Might fuck around and tell my therapist I have a crush on her just to feel SOMETHING#I am in deep with this depression shit#It is not looking good#Ohh and I called a hotline and told the woman who picked up I was dealing with transference or whatever#And she was like#That wouldn't be enough for her to terminate your relationship#And that's very good to hear because boy do I have some shit to tell her next session#I might just have to lay it bare#I'm fucked#If I kill myself will y'all tell the TRAs that I had the fattest ass on radblr?#I'm not a radfem but like#Pretty please?
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Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings
#love the show. love it a lot. about to be a bitch in the tags anyways#it was. so so messy. they needed another season so bad. the alaska trip took up so much of the comics#and that was with the previously established cast#in the show they introduced a million new characters. gave us no time to get to know them before they were thrown head first into the plot#and condensed an arc that was almost half of the comics into the span of like 5 episodes#my boy singh. oh how they massacred by boy#i mean. okay. in the context of the show the arc wasn't horrible for him.#but i think his survival in the comic and his dedication of his life to making up for the mistakes of his past by helping people and hybrids#would've been so much more powerful than his random self sacrifice at the end of the show.#bc honestly it just seems like another impulsive act in his moral flip flop he'd been having for the last few episodes#rather than active choice to be better#and honestly i wanted to see his delusional paranoid religious breakdown from the comics put to screen so bad#it would've been great#i do like that he turned against zhang the second she started trying to talk about rani. that shit slapped#the several fake outs about Jepp's death were so stupid and unnecessary and repetitive#why are you baiting everyone. you're going to piss off the hardcore comic fans waiting for his death and confuse the show fans#either commit to killing him or stop pretending like you're brave enough to do it#why did they flip back so hard into the mystical vaguely eco fascist backstory and outcome of the comic#after spending two seasons trying to build a more scientific and less 'humanity must end' story for two seasons straight#they tried to make it seem less 'humanity must die' again at the end by ending the virus#which i guess might've been the best outcome available considering the source material and the limitations of it's ending#but idk. it felt weird#the writing this season was so much less subtle. it felt like the characters were constantly monologing directly at the camera#nothing could be left unsaid everyone had to say exactly what they meant#and it was all moral lessons the writers were trying to feed directly to the audience#i feel like they wrote themselves into a corner at the end of the last season#and they expected to have at least one more season to write themselves out of it before the ending#and if not. if this was the plan since the beginning. literally what. WHAT.#can not imagine the people who wrote the last two seasons sitting down and writing this#it won't let me add more tags but i have more thoughts. many more. tumblr is silencing me for speaking the truth /j
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For the generated AUs, I got Supernatural Is Known AU + Orphanage AU ^^
Okay but Caleb Covington's Home For Extraordinary Orphans. He's not exactly evil, but after 20-plus years of dealing with everything from mermaids to were-elephants, he is Grumpy.
The Molinas always wanted a big family. Most Werewolves do. Something about a big pack just makes them happy. Not all of them turn, Julie and Victoria don't, but Rose, Ray, and Carlos do. (There have been So Many Arguments in the past about Carlos chewing on Julie's shoes.)
Except Rose found out that after her cancer, she wouldn't be able to have any more kids. They'd been trying for some time but hadn't had any more after Carlos, and now there was no more chance to have any at all. They mourn for a year, before talking it over as a family and deciding that pack is pack and they don't need to be blood related to be family. When Julie is fourteen and Carlos is ten, they finally get approved to adopt.
Victoria goes with them, if only to make sure they don't 'bite off more than they can chew'.
They meet a lot of kids, and just like Victoria expected, they want to take home Everyone. She has to be the voice of reason that no, they do not have a big enough back yard to convert into a lake to adopt that mermaid girl. And adopting Willie, the raccoon shifter, was a terribly unsafe idea because Carlos still hadn't learned to control his chasing-prey instinct. Do they not remember the ordeal with the Henderson's cat?
Eventually, Carlos and Julie come running up to their parents, dragging just about the palest young boy Rose has ever seen.
"Mami, this is Reggie!" Carlos proudly proclaims. "He likes dogs and music and pizza so he has to be our big brother."
Reggie is a sixteen year old vampire who is just grateful he got turned after he was allowed to drive. It's better than being fourteen for the rest of his (after)life, that would be rough. Oh shoot sorry Julie. It gets better, he promises.
Ray and Rose are just so charmed by Reggie and the way he naturally fell into a big brother role for Julie and Carlos that they decide yes, they will adopt a sixteen year old vampire. No they do not care that he won't age. Once he actually matures mentally into adulthood (which vampires do, just a lot slower than than humans) they will help him get emancipated.
Victoria is not there to talk them out of it. Victoria, in fact, is in Caleb's office, getting the paperwork done to adopt Willie.
("What? I said it was dangerous for him to be around Carlos until he gets his prey instinct under control during the full moon. I don't turn, my prey instinct is fine! The only thing I hunt is a good bargain.")
So they take Reggie and Willie home, and things are great. Willie and Reggie were friends at the orphanage, they get together for Family Dinners every Friday except on Full Moons, everything is great. Reggie fits in really well and admits that even before he was turned ten years ago, he didn't have a great family, so having two parents that care about him is really nice.
Except sometimes Reggie acts in a way that can't be attributed to being a vampire, or adopted, or maybe a little traumatised from spending ten years in an orphanage run by a grumpy werepanther. He zones out, and sometimes he talks to himself, or laughs at nothing. Ray and Rose love Reggie, and are fully willing to support their new son and all his quirks (Ray immediately started learning about Star Wars when he realised Reggie was obsessed), but they also want to make sure this isn't anything mental illness related that will hurt him.
So they talk about getting Reggie evaluated, about asking Doctor Turner if she has any recommendations for therapists who specialise in vampirism... But Reggie overhears them.
And then Rose overhears Reggie. Talking to himself in his room again. Except this time it's not under his breath.
"No dude, don't worry about it. I'll just... I'll make something up. I mean, you've always said that I might be autistic, maybe we can just... Nobody's going to find out and send you back, I promise."
Which is of course when Rose pushed open the door before adopting a now Very Familiar Pose to Reggie. The Mom Pose. Hands on her hips, eyebrow raised.
The boy on Reggie's bed slowly started going invisible again, and Rose pointed at him. "Don't you dare!"
He stops fading out of view. He looks to be about Reggie's age.
"Can you just turn invisible, or are you a ghost?" Rose asks. "Because if I find out you've been letting someone go hungry under our roof, Reginald, you are grounded, mister."
"I'm a ghost," the boy in the bed said. "I'm so sorry, it's just that, you were taking Reggie, and your sister was taking Willie, and they're all I have and I just couldn't stay there and I'm so so sorry..."
The more he talks the more solid he looks and Rose is not sure if that's a good thing or not, so she just interrupts him. "Right, we need to call Caleb right now."
"No, don't send him back!" Reggie said. "Send me back instead, please, you'll love Alex, he's great, he's funny and cool and he likes music and pizza too. I mean he can't eat it anymore but-"
"We're not sending anyone back," Rose promises, wrapping Reggie in a hug and hovering a hand near Alex' shoulder. "But we do have to arrange some paperwork so Ray and I don't get brought up on any kidnapping charges, alright?"
#julie and the phantoms#AUs are awesome#make Reggie a Molina 2kalways#fanfic#I wrote a thing#rose talks to victoria about it and victoria is just like: I didn't notice but to be fair Willie is a way better liar than Reggie#and also causes so much mischief that him sitting quietly and staring off into space while wearing one earbud was honestly kind of a relief#caleb didn't even realise Alex was missing but he's not going to SAY that#he's been a little busy with the literal demon child and fire imp that were dropped off a few months back okay?#luckily they started dating and now dante and fuego are no long making his life a living hell#sorry this did not stay at the orphanage but can you blame me my whole brand is Make Reggie A Molina#Ray just like: it's free bonus son#and then of course Julie and Alex and Reggie start a band with Luke who is part siren on his grandmother's side
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Eat Your Young
A Time Travel Fic â Playlist
? Chapters | ? Words | Rated M
âThis, however, is not the same boy she reaped the first time. He is not soft and teary, he is warped and hardened. His hands are lightly bandaged, coiled rags disappearing into his sleeves, and something behind his eyes is already scarring, already scarred. This is not the same boy she sent off to a Quarter Quell but, then again, she is not the same Escort he left behind either.â
OR
The prisoners of war try again.
#bam writes#eat your young#hunger games#thg fanfiction#peeta mellark#effie trinket#johanna mason#hayffie#everlark#me vs my hyperfixations#I havenât even seen tbosas Iâve just been reading some really good everlark fics recently#literally wrote half the opening sequence at work#little old me sitting at the front desk with my notebook in hand#scribbling thoughts as the night wears on and I speak to literally no one for two hours until my manager sends me home early#that was how this fic became more than just a thought#anyway title from the king himself Hozier; because eyy is such a hunger games coded song#throws up because posting in new fandoms is scary#also this first chapter is SO short#and i'm not used to that at all#coping with a below 1k opener *dies on the spot*
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