#Minho wakes up like ‘I don’t remember having a girlfriend as well as two boyfriends???’

[star--anon]

Gally hides a lot of his panic attacks and nightmares that he got after he went through the Changing in a desperate attempt to be liked again in the Glade

He was kind of universally hated in the books, apparently becoming extremely unlikeable after he got Stung

which is honestly so sad. What he saw drove him slightly insane and he couldn’t handle it and shut down.

[chimivx]

TASTE. -> 'Haven' from the POV of Hyunjin. (Part Six of Six)

summary: 1998 is his year. He's sure of it. (With a bonus snippet of the future.)

word count: 12k

warnings: 18+, mentions of alcohol abuse, struggles with mental health themes, cursing, drug use mentions, sex is insinuated, physical violence between male friends is talked about, if I missed anything PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

a/n: I don't even know how to say goodbye to this. This has been two years of my life. Thank you to everyone who's been on this wild ride. <3

more about Beomgyu and his family in NMWID.

“You can take this, and you can sit down,” Felix’s voice carried through his kitchen, our kitchen, as he handed Seungmin a pitcher of water and waved him away. “You haven’t slept in thirty six hours, you’re nuts if you think I’m going to let you do too much.” Laughter followed, pulling a smile out of me.

From the kitchen table I heard Changbin reprimand the boy as well, telling him again and again how he’s been working too hard, too much. Glancing their way from where I stood at the counter plating a couple dishes, I couldn’t help but laugh. Seungmin had all eyes on him, and several different people doting on his every need. 

Felix, setting the table up making sure he had what he needed in front of him. Changbin, filling up his glass with water when he set the pitcher down. Jeongin, unfolding a napkin and laying it across his lap to protect the scrubs he hadn’t changed out of yet. Changbins girlfriend, Yeri, who he’d been seeing for over a year now fussed over Seungmins messy hair, jokingly brushing it away from his forehead like a mother. Jisoo, Jeongins new girl of a few weeks, sat back, watching the chaos unfold before her.

“You didn’t even change your clothes,” Yeri nagged, and Changbin agreed with her. The two were a perfect pair, Yeri knew how to match Changbin’s playful side perfectly. She plopped beside her boyfriend and narrowed her eyes toward the nurse. “Don’t tell me you haven’t eaten today.”

Seungmin, sipping his water, nearly choked, planting the glass down with persistence. “I didn’t change my clothes, you think I had time to eat!? Why do you think I’m here!”

Insistent messy chatter erupted once more, the table full of so much life my cheeks hurt from smiling. Taking the plates to the group I sat them down, the finishing touches, and relished in the happy sounds from every mouth. Wasting no time they dug in, letting Seungmin fill his plate first, taking turns helping each other with their portions.

Folding my hands in front of myself, I stood a foot away and watched them indulge. Taking in every smile, every compliment, every little piece of this evening that brought me comfort, and I pocketed it with the intention to remember it on a bad day. Seungmin, Changbin, Jeongin… Friends who stuck by me through the worst. The last two years that pulled me through the ringer, a challenge in every waking moment. Yeri, who slipped right into our dynamic with ease, becoming everyone's mother, and Jisoo who I’m sure will slip into a role at any minute. They were my people. My family.

And then, at the end of the table, an empty chair beside him, sat Felix. A smile resting on his lips he watched me watch them. The blonde, baby faced Aussie, love of my life.

A month after our decision to take our time we dove headfirst into the deep end. Neither of us could help ourselves, certainly not when you spend every waking second together. Though, I won’t lie, the beginning was rough.

After Minho fought dirty and I was able to go home, Felix took me to my apartment. Changbin followed and helped us inside. Once things were deemed safe, and I was somewhat okay, he headed out for the night knowing I had Felix to look after me. I had a shower, that I’m ashamed to admit Felix took with me, a platonic shower. Nothing happened, he may have kissed me, and I may have kissed him back, and I may have had to sit on the edge of the bathtub because it was hard to stand for so long, but it doesn’t matter!

He helped me into bed and he laid with me, and I watched him fall asleep. Those long lashes brushing his freckled cheeks tore me to pieces. That night they weren’t enough to keep me where I was supposed to be, in bed, next to him.

Awake for hours, my mind raced, thoughts I couldn’t even begin to put together now that I’ve worked them out with Namjoon, the therapist I’ve been seeing for two years. He’d been able to fix most of what had happened, even though Felix tells me it was I who did the work…

The thoughts were coming toward me rapidly, faster than ever, and we still don’t know if it was purely just a panic attack or if it was the aftereffects of what had happened to me, and the oxygen to brain thing. I was near hallucinating, hearing my father, seeing him… Wondering if the fight had really been between Minho and I, or he and I… Your mind is the scariest place to be trapped in.

Living through this before, I knew only one way to cope. And it wasn’t by waking Felix up. 

I snuck out of bed, almost toppled to the floor, and inched my way into the kitchen to that goddamned cabinet that was still full of my vice. Felix will tell me he found me before it got too bad, I don’t really remember anything after rolling off my mattress. Part of me thinks he’s saving my feelings by telling me it wasn’t bad, and that he himself doesn’t want to relive it by telling me the truth.

I forgive him for that. 

We ended up in the emergency room anyways, so protecting my feelings or not I know it was awful. The only thing he’ll tell me is that he took me there because he loves me, and they were the only people capable of keeping me safe. I stayed there for a few days, and then I was sent back home.

Great system. Really, really great system.

It felt like I had been thrown straight back into the nightmare I had been living for a year. Sleepless nights, unable to leave the apartment, drinking myself unconscious… Was a wonder why Felix signed himself up for this trainwreck so quickly. Through the start of my hours in therapy it soon came to my realization that Jade was never the main issue like I had thought she was.

Did she cause some of my distress? Yes.

Did I cause most of her distress? Yes.

Did we both deserve that? No.

The main, huge, horrific issue that bitch slapped me across the face was my childhood. A topic that took months to unravel, and is still being unraveled. A terrible thing to uncover and relive, truly.

But, I’ve been sober for three months now so something must be working.

I find joy in having my friends, our friends, over for dinner once a month. Moving into Felix’s home at the start of this year it was his idea to start the tradition, to keep us all close. No one found interest in Haven anymore, so it was a win win. Our home became the spot for them to loiter, the couches for them to snooze on, the fridge to raid. And we loved every second of it.

It brought me genuine joy now that I could process it clearly.

Felix pulled out the chair beside him and wiggled a finger at me toward him. Giving him a small smile and a nod, I backed up to the fridge first to grab us drinks, not realizing Jisoo had beaten me there. She let out a quiet laugh as I bumped her with my back.

“So sorry,” I breathed, whipping myself around, taking an appropriate step back. Flashing me her heart shaped smile she shrugged it off.

“You’re good,” she pulled the fridge open and quizzed the selection with narrowed eyes, flashing me a look. “What are you drinkin’?”

Folding my hands over my front like they had been, I tilted my head and said, “I can grab it, don’t worry.”

A smirk grew on her pink lips as she eyed me. Reaching into the fridge she fumbled with a box for a second, then handed me a beer before grabbing two for herself. “Here, it’s Jeongin’s favorite, try it. We brought a whole case, he won’t miss one.” With a quick wink and a push of the fridge door, the crop top, jean wearing girl with long dark hair sauntered away, leaving me with an ice cold bottle of beer in my hand.

She’s lucky beer wouldn’t be my first choice.

It did look good though, the label talking about some brand new flavor supposed to be as crisp as ever… The brown tint of the bottle was all too familiar. It was a twist off, too. We didn’t have any bottle openers in the house. This one would pop right off in my hand. It’d be cold going down, and if the label told me the truth, it’d chill me out in seconds.

But, I didn’t need to be chill right now.

I was already chill.

She put this in my hand without knowing a thing. Our friends were allowed to bring their own drinks over, knowing we never kept any in the house, we allowed them to bring what they wanted as long as it left with them. No one offered me any, no one made a big deal over where to put them or whether or not they had to hide them. 

I could control myself.

Changbin has lessened what he drinks around me, but I don’t force him to stop completely, he’s done that on his own. He tells me he’s started doing it for himself, but I know after watching me do what I’ve done I’m the reason why. Seungmin never really enjoyed drinking, but he’d have one occasionally if the day was special. Jeongin, the youngest of us all, compared to Changbin.

And Felix, he’s been sober since that one night at Haven where the two of us were first shoved within that tiny bathroom stall.

Opening this, drinking it, would undo three months. This is the longest I’ve gone without a single sip since I was probably fifteen years old. I felt proud of myself. It felt like a major accomplishment, and everyone around me seems to think so as well. On the date, Felix took me to dinner. Changbin and Yeri called, Seungmin stopped by before his nightshift, and Jeongin got to me a day or so after when he could make it by the house. He brought me pink frosted cupcakes and couldn’t stop hugging me.

I was going on month four. If it was to end with dinner with my boyfriend, phone calls and hugs from my best friends and pink frosted cupcakes… I wasn’t about to fuck it all up.

A deep, beautiful, lilted laugh from the table confirmed my decision.

I popped the beer back in the box and grabbed two cans of Sprite, then hightailed it over to my gorgeous boy. Pressing a kiss to his head, I cracked his open and slipped it into his hand. Amidst the chatter he glanced at it, smiled, then looked up at me. 

This was what we’d bring each other in moments of gratitude. A reminder of all we’ve done, all we’ve been through, all we continue to get through, day by day. An ‘I love you’ of sorts.

Major props to Namjoon for suggesting we implement something special into our lives for occasions where words won’t give it justice. Something only Felix and I would understand.

Bending over halfway, my hair shielding his face from the room that paid no mind to us, I caught his smiling lips in a soft kiss, one that’d last me until the hours of night after our friends have gone, when I can finally take care of him in ways he always deserves.

Turns out he really is a good teacher.

“Got a question for you, better answer now!”

Changbin had a beer in his hand. On his feet, his chair pushed out from behind him, he held it in the air as the table sang back, “Yeah!”

Yeri sat backward, a hand covering her jaw as she laughed at her boyfriend, shamelessly singing along with him. Looking over at her Changbin pointed and shook his head.

“No, no!” he shouted, a shit eating grin on his face. “You’re the one who loves them so bad!” The three boys around the table were goners along with Yeri, unable to resist the energy Changbin filled the room with, their laughter loud and entertained. A smile rested on my lips, I didn’t sing along, but I was enjoying the show.

“Am I original?” Changbin leaned toward Yeri, acquiring his ‘Yeah!’ from the people who actually listened to this song. “Am I the only one?” Another ‘Yeah!’ sounded around the room, and with each word he closed in the space between him and Yeri. Then, he slipped around the back of her chair running a hand through her hair before he popped next to Felix, laying his head on his shoulder as he gave me a funny look. “Am I sexual?”

Raising my brows, my laughter finally cracked through, his aim of the game. I joined in the final ‘Yeah!’ and he shouted with glee. I wasn’t dumb, I knew who the Backstreet Boys were, Felix was obsessed with them much like Yeri was. He loved Kevin Richardson, or whatever his name was, which blew my mind because Nick Carter is right there. Not that I paid attention to it or anything.

“You like this song.” Felix’s smile still had the power to flip my stomach in cartwheels. Changbin hummed from his shoulder and pursed his lips. 

“Do not,” I huffed, looking around the table. Jeongin sipped his beer and hummed the rest of the song to himself and Seungmin who took part in tapping the beat with his glass.

Changbin shared a devious look with Felix, Yeri giggling from her chair.

Together they both sang, “Rock your body right!”

Everyone sang, “Backstreets back…”

Lifting my gaze, planting it on my grinning, hopeful boyfriend, I raised my almost empty can and gave them what they wanted. “Alright!”

Felix lurched forward and grabbed onto my arms while Changbin held his up in triumph. “Hyunjin loves the Backstreet Boys!” 

“Do not!” I sneered at my best friend, a smile pulling at my lips the entire time. Working his way back to his seat, Changbin finished his beer and shot me a glare.

“Do too, Mr. Nick Carter,” he said. 

Seungmin smacked his hands together and laughed. “Are we shocked?” He gestured to Felix and the Aussie blushed. “He’s got a crush on that guy from Titanic, too.”

Felix giggled. “Leonardo DiCaprio.”

“Yeah, him,” Seungmin said, sitting back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest.

Jeongin narrowed his eyes, his attention on me. “Blondes,” he half whispered.

Holding up my hands, feeling my cheeks flush, I looked hurriedly from Felix to my friends in defense. “Whoa, whoa, hold up, I do not have a crush…” Felix took one of my hands in his.

“Darling,” he said, smooth as butter. My walls fell quick. “You have a type. And, you do have a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. We went to see that movie in theatres three times, and I knew it wasn’t ‘cause it’s your new favorite love story.” He tried to copy my voice and got everyone to laugh.

Locked into his eyes, I nodded. “I do have a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio.” Felix danced a finger around my palm looking at me like a lost puppy.

“You do, don’t you?” he asked, and when I nodded again, our friends answered with laughter.

“That,” Changbin held out his beer toward us, gathering our attention. “I love that, when you do that.”

Jeongin snickered. “You mean when Felix makes him all gushy?” Seungmin and Yeri agreed.

Trying to shake his hands away I sat forward and furrowed my brows. “Hey!” I’d lost the bark in my tone over these last few months. Everyone will tell me it’s a good thing. “I do not get gushy, you jerks! I am still…” Seungmin cleared his throat and pointed to Felix with his eyes. Turning my head, Felix’s eyes were slightly wide, his brows somewhat flipped.

“Keep going,” he said softly. Sitting back, I shook my head a bit and reached for his hand. One graze of his thumb over the boney back of my hand and I was down for the count. Then, a smirk grew on his lips and he threw our friends a look of success. “Twice!” Laughter roared from every corner of the room.

Groaning, I took a hand to my forehead. I couldn’t hide my smile, I knew it, too. He had me wrapped around his finger. Leaning over to him as our friends tossed around the discussion some more, my lips ghosted his ear and I whispered to him a promise of what I’d do to him later if he stopped his teasing. I’d never seen him straighten out faster, his cheeks going pink.

The best part of it all, we were equally wrapped around each other's fingers.

“Who’s got a kid?” Jisoo called out as she rounded the corner into the kitchen from the dimly lit hall. Felix’s grip tightened on my hand ever so slightly, but it didn’t stop my heart from sinking into the floor. The girl wore an innocent smile, unable to read the room as she sat down beside her boyfriend, having only gotten up moments prior to use the restroom. Jeongin threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in, whispering paragraphs into her ear.

This poor girl must’ve not been briefed before she walked into the building. Her smile wiped away halfway through Jeongin’s lament.

Changbin held up his beer once more. “Mr. Hwang Hyunjin,” he said with pride. Yeri smacked his bicep, not that her tiny hands had any effect over his insane muscle.

Jisoo lifted a hand to her lips, her eyes going wide. “I’m so sorry,” she said, shaking her head, her gaze darting between Felix and I. Jeongin, lips pulled into his mouth, gave us an apologetic look. Seungmin simply refilled his water and watched everything go down. His eyes were heavy, he’d be leaving shortly if he wasn’t crashing on our couch.

To everyone's surprise, I was calm. Turning my chin to peek at my boyfriend who was studying me, I asked between us, “Jeonghan’s door is open?”

Tracing circles into my palm, Felix poked his tongue through his lips and bobbed his head. “I don’t think you closed it when you put his new clothes in there yesterday.”

The room was my choice. My decision. Everything that went on with it, my choice. I usually keep the door shut. These past few weeks I’ve been keeping it closed unless I’m going in to work on it, or add something, or fix something.

Most of his shelves were stocked now. Clothes, shoes, hats… Anything that made me think of him while I was out, I bought. He’s even got clothes for when he grows up, when he gets bigger. Some of my stuff is folded in his drawers, old clothes from middle school and high school I’d kept in my possession after all this time, just in case. 

I never knew what for. I wasn’t sure why I held onto the stuff that could somehow hold meaning until he was born. June 8th, 1997, the day I knew he’d be getting everything I own, everything that meant something to me. He deserved it all.

When I had moved out of my house before college I didn’t think to take anything with me other than what I had, what I owned personally. So many things that belonged to my mother, even my father, were all left behind, and now it's one of my biggest regrets. I have some photos of my childhood, some photos with my mother, but I longed to have something that belonged to her. Either something she wore, or something she loved.

Felix would reassure me and tell me how I am what she loved, and that’s enough, but I had plans to reach out to my family, her family, just one more time. Her younger sister, Jihyo, had to have something. If she did, Jeonghan would one day get that too.

Jeonghan. The name of my grandfather. My mother’s father. Essentially the man who saved me by sending me to college, getting me through years of school. The man who gave me my mother. Another regret… Not spending more time with him, or putting the effort in to see him more. Sometimes I wonder if my mother never got with my father would our story be different. She was raised on and around love, and ended up with him anyway.

Throughout this whole therapy process it’s been fun and somewhat bittersweet to learn how much I am exactly like her. 

I don’t want to know what she'd have to say about my situation now.

I feel like I can hear her when the days go quiet.

Get that baby back.

Don’t you leave that girl alone with your child, he’s yours too.

You can do this. You can make it through this.

Fight for him.

There wasn’t a day in my life that I’d ever think about one day becoming a father. It was never in the plan. And, when I didn’t have a plan, it was never a thought. Who in their right mind would want to have a child with me? Two years ago, who would want to have a child with me?

And so, she did.

It was last January, 1997, I was here in the house on the couch sipping on a cocktail beside Felix with the radio playing and the phone rang. I was too tipsy to get up and logically answer the phone, so Felix did it. The call lasted no more than thirty seconds, and he appeared in the doorway to the living room like he’d seen a ghost.

He had told me it was Changbin, and that he had just spoken to Chan. Bahng Chan, Jade’s best friend. He took my glass from my hand and sat next to me, taking my arms in his hold. Chan had spoken with Han, who had spoken to Minho. Jade was pregnant, and she didn’t know who the father was.

Apparently it had taken them a while to get a hold of us, and to this day I don’t know how much of that reigns true. If they hadn’t gone through the grapevine in true Jade and Minho fashion they would’ve gotten to us straight away. Then I learned it had something to do with the both of them not wanting to deal with me. At the time, even through my drunk blindness I could see how immature that was.

A week or so later I met Minho face to face for the first time since he tried to kill me, though he’ll say that wasn’t the case. Jade had accompanied him, and Felix accompanied myself. In a doctor's office, bright, white and sterile, I couldn’t look at her. I didn’t speak two words to her, and it wasn’t because I was hungover. Stunned by the whole idea that this child could belong to me, the one that already made a little bump in her belly… I couldn’t fathom it.

That night Felix almost had to take me back to the emergency room.

And so, he was mine!

Now, one would think she’d take the easy way out here and do what she had to do to be rid of me like I longed to be rid of her. Why would she do this knowing that for eighteen years we’d be connected? We hadn’t seen each other in five months, and sure they weren’t awesome five months, but they were better than they were. Not having to see or deal with one another was the best thing to happen to us.

Not for nothing, her boyfriend tried to take me out.

But, that wasn’t the case!

Things were a mess until he was born, and even after he was born things were a mess. Nothing got better until this summer. Three months ago. After two years of me only hearing things through phone calls she’d have with Felix we were standing side by side in the parking lot of the grocery store down the street from Haven. I was a tad tipsy, it was a bad time. I had bottles in a bag and I was about to get into the driver's seat and take myself home.

I can understand why she’s been the way that she’s been.

Jade tried to hand me over a child support agreement from her lawyer that she pulled out of her front seat. I didn’t even hear one word of her reasoning, or why she was attempting to involve me when she had been going through Felix all this time. In fact, I said that to her. Angry, I yelled. Alcohol in my system didn’t really help my case. I ripped the paper in half and threw it on the ground. Once I was in my car, the bottles in the passenger seat, I swallowed my nausea and broke down. I sat in the parking lot and cried for an hour.

That’s when I realized I was ready to move the fuck on. 

To grow the fuck up.

Only three months ago.

Jeonghan had a room, and I took care of it. Felix helped me when I asked and in turn would offer me a hand if it seemed I needed one- which was often. I could count on both hands how many times he’s snuck his way into the sky blue bedroom quietly and wrapped his arms around my waist and laid himself along my back to hold me while I cried. 

He read me the instructions when I was forty five minutes deep into building the crib that would flip into a bed whenever Jeonghan grew big enough. Felix left me in the room alone when I started to take the box apart, though I’d catch him tiptoeing by the door every so often. It wasn’t until I was on the floor, hair tied back tight, holding two different pieces of the baby’s furniture that he decided to slip inside and start reading aloud where to put what.

Over the last three months I’ve put together a space for him I was proud of. To do it with Felix made it all the more special.

It’s been over a year. My priorities are straight. 

I could be a dad.

I want to be a dad.

Felix would make a great one. Leading by his example, I’m sure I could too.

The house was vacant just shortly after ten o’clock. Seungmin took himself home an hour before everyone else, by the time Changbin was on his seventh song he could barely keep his head up. Thankfully he lived close by or else I’d be offering a ride home. Yeri ushered Changbin into their car before anything by Tupac could come out his mouth.

The poor guy wasn’t over it.

We fear he never will be.

With a kiss on Felix’s and I’s cheeks Yeri took him home, asking us to wish her luck, making sure the rest of her boyfriend's bottles were in his possession before they pulled away. Jeongin did the same while Jisoo held a gentle touch to my arm and spewed endless apologies for her fumble at the dinner table. The sweetest girl, she admitted her ignorance, that things between her and Innie were brand new and that she was trying her best to impress us.

Felix, accompanying Jeongin around the kitchen straightening things up, gathering their case of drinks, shot us a couple smiles. It wasn’t everyday I held up a conversation with someone I didn’t know for longer than a month or so. Jisoo seemed to care, and with how she latched onto Jeongin’s arm and fluttered her lashes toward him when he took to her side, I accepted that she was alright.

“You are in trouble for letting me do those things,” she said to him.

Jeongin, eyes shooting open wide, gestured between her and I. “I didn’t… It’s just that’s his business, I didn’t know… How am I in trouble? I was-”

“No one is in trouble,” I smiled at them both. “She’s cool,” I had said to Jeongin. “If she’s sticking around she can know.” Felix later gently scolded me for potentially beginning a lovers spat between the two. Flashing him a mischievous grin I pulled at his lip with my thumb and kissed him like I’d been longing to all night.

Though it didn’t last long.

We had a kitchen to clean and a house to put back together. Dishes were washed and dried while he sung the goddamned Backstreet Boys to himself, and the floors were swept and the table was wiped while I swallowed my smile, not letting him know how much I really fucking loved hearing him sing the goddamned Backstreet Boys to himself. Dancing around one another, moving in perfect rhythm to reset our lives that were happily disheveled for the evening, we ended up down our hallway in front of Jeonghan’s bedroom. The open door I forgot to close after I put his new clothes away in his drawers.

This was normal.

One of us, usually me, is standing here, staring into the vacant space, wondering when he’d come around to fill it. Live in it. Wondering when I’d be allowed to show it to him. Allowed to bring him here, bring him into our life, teach him, hold him.

She wouldn’t let me have him.

And not one part of me could blame her.

“She doesn’t hear anything you tell her,” I mumbled, leaning into Felix’s touch at my side.

Felix pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “Keep talking.”

“I hear you on the phone,” I continued, gazing at the blue striped sheets on the mattress in the chestnut wood crib. “Leaving messages, even talking to him. Neither of them believe you.”

Taking a deep breath, keeping his hand over my back, Felix said, “A lot has happened. They weren’t here next to you throughout this last year.”

“No, they weren’t,” I spat, looking down at him. “They were playing house with my son.”

“Hyunjin,” Felix said, tone steady. “He’s Jade’s son, too.” He may as well have reached into my chest, grabbed my heart, and squeezed it until it stopped beating. I knew he didn’t mean it. He was the voice of reason, my voice of reason, why I’ve been keeping such a good track record lately. “She’s his mother.”

A sigh fell from my lips, one in relation with a cry. “I wanna be his dad.”

Gripping the fabric of my shirt Felix gave me the tiniest smile, then lured me into our bedroom. “I know, darling,” he whispered. 

Moving in the quiet, the peace, we readied ourselves for bed, handsy as ever without a single word spoken as we brushed our teeth and washed our faces. Like clockwork, after I took my hair down, he gave me the little white pill from the tall orange bottle in the medicine cabinet and kissed the back of my hand after I’d taken it. Lacing his fingers in mine he pulled me to the bed and threw the covers back, the two of us cozying up in the center, a plethora of pillows surrounding us now that mine lived here too.

“The last time I spoke with Rachel,” our lawyer we’ve been working with, “She told me that in another month they’d revisit… All of it.” Felix laid himself over my side, his cheek fitting perfectly into the valley where my neck meets my shoulder. “It’s been a month. I’ve been sober longer than that. You’ve told them that.” He tilted his chin to look at me, his eyebrows a bit low. “You told them that, the last time they called. When… Yesterday?”

Felix was our middle man. He had to be our middle man. Jade refused to talk directly with me, but she had to contact us somehow. He’s given them so much advice, so much of our money, and he’s heard updates about Jeonghan that he’d relay to me if I was in a good mood. Curious how she’d keep the child away from me, but then slip things to Felix in a hushed voice as if she was hiding it from her fiance.

“They still have a lot to work through, Hyunjin,” Felix said. “For them it’s been over a year.”

“Okay?!” I huffed. Too harshly I might add, because Felix moved when my chest rose. “A year ago I had a foot in the grave.” He didn’t say anything. Instead, he looked back up at me, and I down at him. “They have a lot to work through,” I sighed.

“They do, give them time.” Felix kissed my shoulder. “You’ve been doing a really, really good job, Hyunjin. Give yourself some credit.”

Three months was good. I felt good. All of the people in my life agreed.

I have been doing a good job.

I just prayed it’d all be worth it.

“You’ve put together his room so that when the time comes you’re prepared,” Felix’s voice fell to a whisper. Gazing down at his loving brown eyes, I couldn’t fight back my smile. “He’s got bath toys waiting for him under the bathroom sink. Sippy cups in the cabinets.”

I was prepared. We were ready. We could do this.

“We need a high chair,” I breathed, lurching forward, turning over so I was facing him.

Felix giggled, the sound painting my cheeks pink. “We’ll get one. We can go this week.” He smoothed a hand over my cheek and drug his thumb beneath my bottom lashes.

“Thursday?”

“Thursday.”

Graco. Graco. Graco.

The aisles stretched on for miles. Felix kept up with my pace at my side, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Boots squeaking on the scuffed tile of the store's floor, I messed with the long sleeves of my black shirt and darted my eyes across the shelves, dodging the occasional mother with a hoard of children surrounding her.

We’ve nearly circled the entire store, after being in this building only two other times, I had no idea where to go. I wanted the best. Jeonghan had to have the best.

“Y’all need some help?” A woman asked Felix and I as we turned around a corner into an aisle full of bottles and kitchen stuff. Scanning the things hanging along the walls, I sighed, and Felix stepped around me, his sunshine charm overcoming her.

With a soft smile he asked, “Do you happen to carry those Graco high chairs?”

Her short brown bob that curled perfectly beneath her cheerful cheeks bounced with delight as she nodded. “‘Course we do, hon. They’re all anyone wants right now, but you might not find them out here.” She gestured around her. “Let me give you a hand, follow me.” Bustling by, she had to turn her chin almost all the way up to smile at me. 

Prime customer service. I wasn’t on the receiving end of an uneasy look. Felix got the smiles, the random extroverts swarming to his side if we were out and about. I usually lingered behind like some kind of shadow until he’d decide whether or not the person was worthy of our time, then he’d pull me into the conversation.

This lady, no older than forty, in a red dress with strappy sandals on her feet didn’t seem to care. Her smile was friendly. She could see me. 

“Who’re we looking for?” Asking us questions as we weaved through the aisles toward the back of the store, Felix and I shared a few looks as her curiosity strangled us. “Baby shower gift? Who’s having the little one?”

Approaching a quieter part of the store, I gulped and pressed my hands to my jeans. “For my son,” I said, and my heart leapt out of my chest. A smile pricked my lips as the woman turned with a grin on her cheeks. Felix, looking between us, wore pride on his face. Though I watched him try to hide it.

“How wonderful,” she said. Taking us through a makeshift wall of boxes, she gestured up toward a few Graco high chairs on the top of the piles of other brands, a place only I’d be able to reach. “Thank goodness you’re here,” she laughed, holding her hands up to spot me as I shimmied it off the wobbling towers. Light in my arms, I shifted the box to my hip and shrugged, unsure of what to say.

“Can’t tell you how often he has to do that for me,” Felix laughed, which in turn made the woman laugh as well. “Thank you for the help.”

“No worries,” she said, eyes flickering from Felix to me. “So, where is the little guy?”

Blinking, I glanced around at the other boxes and names of brands that were somewhat familiar to me now, I said, “Probably at home with his mom.” 

“Probably,” the woman let out a single laugh. She was trying to make jokes, I knew she was, but that didn’t stop it from making me anxious. “Don’t you know where your son is?” I could hear it in her voice. It was a joke. A joke. She didn’t know what happened. She didn’t know me at all. Felix rubbed a hand over his jaw, his head turning from me to her, waiting.

“Uh,” I stammered, looking away from her as I said, “His mom and I aren’t… together.”

She was unphased. Without missing a beat she said, “Oh, I see, so this is for your place.” Intaking a breath, I nodded my head. Felix crossed his arms over his chest. “Listen, I get it. My sister had a baby with a boy she went to school with. They were both young, yanno? They were a disaster. They couldn’t have one conversation civilly, it was argument city, I swear.” Gulping, electricity sparked in my veins.

As if Felix could feel it, he took a step closer to me all while trying to be polite and listen to this woman's life story. She made herself comfy, leaning against one of the boxes.

“My sister, God bless her, she thinks she’s better than everyone,” she rolled her eyes. “I liked the guy, sure it was unconventional and our mother was mortified, but he was nice. It wasn’t his fault he was swamped with school, trying to work, and now having a child on top of it all. They got married, and he tried so hard, but my sister, she wasn’t having any of it. Poor guy couldn’t hold a job because he was so busy, so she took the kid away from him.”

I couldn’t feel my breath through my lips. “Where is he now?”

“I still see him around from time to time, he’s stayed in the area for the time being,” she shrugged. “He’s doing alright, but I think he’s waiting for her to come back. I saw him a couple of weeks ago, he’s living in Delo. We caught up at the grocery store, he asked me how I was, he asked me how his kid was…”

Felix took a hand through his hair, spinning in a small, slow circle. He wanted this to be over, I could feel the energy coming off of him. 

“Did you tell him?” I asked.

“Yeah, but I didn’t have much to say,” she said, adjusting a dangling earring hanging from her left ear. “My sister moved into Tamoe when his daughter was, like, five. She’s dating someone else now, she’s barely talked to any of us, her family, since she moved. Can’t even tell you the amount of guys she’s tried to be with between him and the poor sap she’s got now. He’s got a kid, too. She can barely handle one, can’t wait to see what happens when she’s dealing with two of them.”

“He has no idea, the… the daughter's father?”

She shrugged. “I told him everything. He deserved to know whatever I could give him. That’s his flesh and blood. Like I said, he’s a good guy. A good guy who bad things have happened to.”

My blood ran cold.

“Thank you for this,” Felix cut in, taking the highchair from my arms. The woman gave him a pleasantry in response and propped a hand on her hip. “Ready, darling?” Looking up at me, stepping almost in front of my gaze that had fallen to the floor, empty, Felix tried to smile.

Looking to the woman before turning on my heels, I caught her curious eyes trying to figure us out.

Once we checked out I darted from the store with Felix again trying to keep up with my pace. I could feel the lightning in my veins. Sick to my stomach, I couldn’t stop myself.

“Do we want to stop by Jihyo’s today? We’re closeby, we can head there now and then get lunch somewhere?” 

My lips were glued shut.

“She said she’s got clothes and stuff, I know that,” Felix continued, placing the box into the trunk I opened for him. It was a small space, the trunk of the blue sports car I had revived back to life, but thankfully it fit. “Beomgyu’s grown out of everything,” his laugh didn’t make me smile this time, “And, she has toys on toys he doesn’t want anymore.” He looked at me with the sweetest grin. “Toys she said he wants to give to his baby cousin. It’d be nice to go see them, Jungkook was asking for you.” That kid had a bit of my mom in him, too. Jihyo and my mother were almost identical. Seven years between them, they were best friends. Raised as best friends. She never got to meet her nephews. It was up to me to bring her to them, my responsibility to keep that bond there. Unlike my failure with my grandfather, I intended to do my best with Jihyo and her kids, but I didn’t make any promises. Part of me knows that Jihyo knows that.

But, I mean, Beomgyu was adorable. An ankle biter that screamed when he spoke. Jungkook was a cool kid, too, and hearing he was asking for me filled me with some sort of joy. They didn’t have their father around, so it really was up to me to stick around. It wasn’t my intention to fill that role, I didn’t want to act as a father to them, but within these last three months I’ve learned what a huge hole it is that I’m filling for them.

One that I wanted with my own son.

“Please don’t internalize anything that woman was saying,” Felix breathed as we slipped into the car. “I didn’t think we’d get a life story today. Don’t internalize it.”

“I’m not,” I grumbled.

Felix tugged his seatbelt over his chest and shot me a look. “I know that face, Hyunjin.”

Clicking my own belt into place, I started the car and tried to smile at him. The sarcasm was evident. “She could take him.”

“Court won’t let her do that,” Felix said, always ready with the facts that seemed to slip my brain. “She can’t move far away from you. She’s got full custody, but you still have some boundaries.” His voice lowered drastically. “You didn’t give everything up.”

I scoffed. “I was drunk when I gave it all up.”

“And now you’re not,” he added quickly. “Now you can think clearly. That story that lady told us is not you. It’s not going to happen to you.”

“Felix, they’re engaged already!” I snapped, throwing my hands up. “What the fuck do you think happens next! She’s never wanted to stay here, around here. Minho, either. The two of them are probably already thinking about getting on a plane.”

“Take a deep breath,” he said, calm as ever. “Please. Let’s talk this out.”

A scary feeling I didn’t like roiled in my gut. Jade could take him and run. I could lose him forever, and with what the court already knows about me, it wasn’t looking good. My fingers gripped the steering wheel as I backed out of the parking spot and started for the road. Everything Felix was saying was going in one ear and out the other, I couldn’t hold onto any of it.

She was going to take my son.

She was going to take Jeonghan away from me.

“The next time you go to court everything will be revised. All of it.” Felix truly was incredible. His voice never shook. Always level headed, he looked at things realistically. Something I could never do. “They’ll see the progress you’ve made, we’ll bring everything with us, and maybe they’ll reconsider visitation.”

At a stop sign, I waited for pedestrians to cross the street, then mumbled, “Mm, visitation. Good idea.”

I turned the other way, away from our home. Felix sat forward.

“Don’t you dare, you take us home,” he said. “I’ll call her when we get there.” I kept going. None of what he said got through to me. I was driving to Minho’s. “Hyunjin, this is not the way to do this. You’ll put yourself in a deeper hole. You want things to get better, you leave them alone and let your lawyers do their part. But, in order for that to happen, you have to do your part.”

I couldn’t help myself. Blind with sickness, deaf to all worries.

I didn’t even know if anyone would be home, I hadn’t been here in years.

Pulling up into the driveway next to the Range Rover that ruined my life, they were home.

A conversation. I just needed to talk to her.

Felix tried and tried to keep me in the car. But, I couldn’t stop.

Slamming the door shut I hurried for the stairs, but the back door to Minhos flew open before I could get up a single one.

“What the fuck do you want, Hyunjin?” Jade spat, her stance wide at the top of the stairs as if she was trying to block me from barging inside. Looking up at her from the ground, I drug my tongue across my bottom lip and tried to smile.

Three months was a long time. I looked different than the last time she saw me, more aware. She’d be able to tell I was better, doing better. 

She looked good. Beautiful, as usual. Her cheeks were a tad fuller, her hair tied back, but still flowing with life, and she wore her pajamas. I’ve interrupted a quiet morning. My heart squeezed. She was glowing. A mother.

Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, I grabbed onto both railings and lifted a foot to the bottom stair, hoping to appear as casual as possible. She copied me, planting her hands on the railings. Eyebrows low, living right above her bright eyes, she was angry.

“Answer the question,” she spat, her eyes going sharp.

“Not even a hello,” I sighed, feeling the jerk come out of me. Trying to will it away, I kept trying to smile. “You’ve changed.” It fell from my lips before I could stop it.

“I haven’t heard from you in three months, you don’t deserve a hello,” she said. Twisting my brows in confusion, I gave her a look. She’s spoken with Felix weekly. She’s heard about us, about me. “What the fuck do you want, before I call the cops.”

Narrowing my eyes, I tilted my head to the side and whispered, “I want my son.”

A loud, humorless cackle of disbelief escaped her. Tossing her head backward, she sighed heavily and couldn’t hide her fury that manifested as a maniacal grin.

“You’re unbelievable,” she said.

“I want my son,” I said a bit louder, tightening my grip on the posts. She was laughing, and I was totally serious.

“Then you should’ve called the judge,” she threw in my face. “Three months, Hyunjin. Thats a lot of time to miss, you broke the fucking agreement, and now you show up without permission, which is also against the agreement, and demand me to give you my son.”

My son.

She was going to take him.

“Our lawyers alway said that if we could work it out on our own we wouldn’t need to go to court,” I said, confusion laced in my voice. Her fingers dug into the wooden posts.

“I’m dealing with you, I have to go to court,” she grilled. “My son is a year and three months old. He's going to start recognizing who is and isn’t around.”

“That’s why I’m here,” I shrugged. Groaning audibly, she laughed again.

“It’s damaging, Hyunjin,” Jade shook her head. “You come around every few months like he’s a dog who’ll be excited to see you no matter how long you’ve been gone. He's a baby, this shit is psychologically damaging and I won’t let it happen to my son.”

“Our son,” I smized, knowing the words would get under her skin. The jerk was here. If she was going to take him, this is how it would be. “Jeonghan. You named him after my grandfather. My mother’s father.” She hardened her glare and clenched her jaw.

A laugh came from the house, the door behind Jade. A baby’s laugh, Jeonghan’s laugh, my sons laugh. The most beautiful sound I think I’ve ever heard. 

He wasn’t in the house alone. Of course he wasn’t, babies couldn’t be left alone. Minho was here. This was his house. Jeonghan was in there, laughing with the guy who walked away from me while I was unconscious on the floor. Because of him.

“Oh, wow, he’s actually home?” I scoffed. “Thought he took any chance he could get to go to work. I heard flirting with customers for tips doesn’t make you much.” 

“You should really get your facts straight before you try to piss me off,” she said, firing back quickly, raising her brows. “Where do you get your information from? Minho hasn’t worked at the bar for like six months.” Prodding my cheek with my tongue, I shook his head and glanced away. 

He was in there with him.

“Let me have him, I’ll bring him back tomorrow,” I said, shifting only my eyes over to her. The buzzing beneath my skin threatened to bubble over.

She grinned and nodded toward the car. “You even have a carseat? A crib? Bottles? Formula? Maybe a stroller?” Opening my mouth to speak, she cut me right off. “What do you even need him for? You didn’t want him!”

Slamming my fists into the posts, I wanted to scream, and I did.

“What if I want him now, dammit?!”

Horrible idea, really.

The door creaked open behind her, and he came out. With Jeonghan in his arms. A bottle was in his mouth, he was holding it himself all cozy in Minho’s hold, fitting right in the hook of his arm.

“What’s going on?” Minho asked, looking down at me with disgust. 

Jeonghan. My baby.

Dark hair brushed over his head. His cheeks were soft, squeezable, and how I longed to get my hands on them. He was awake, alert, his deep brown eyes looking up at Minho, the man who’s been, hopefully, caring for him the last year.

“I don’t appreciate the noise,” Minho nearly growled. “Especially while there’s children present.” 

Snapping out of my gaze, I rolled his eyes.

“It’s ten in the fucking morning,” I said, glaring at him.

“Language?” Minho furrowed his brows.

“Please, you live with this one,” I pointed to Jade, “She’s no fucking Mary Poppins. When did you get so soft, Min?” 

Titling my head to the side, I smirked. I forced our past out through my glare, reminding him of all he’s done with one singular look in milliseconds.

“A lot changes when you become a father,” Minho narrowed his eyes. “But I don’t need to explain, you already get it, don’t you?”

Stepping up onto the bottom stair, I opened my mouth, ready to unload his life before him and Jade, vocally express what he did to me, because I know the sweetest, most awesome little fun fact.

Jade has no recollection of what he had done to me.

She doesn’t know.

The man holding our son wrapped his hands around my neck, obstructed my fucking airway until I was out cold. Then, from what I’ve heard, Chan grabbed him and took him away. Minho left me there. Chan ended up coming back, that good guy curse, and checked in with Seungmin to make sure I was breathing. Then, he was gone.

Minho left me there.

Jade left me there.

She didn’t know.

The passenger door of the car slammed shut, gathering everyone's attention from the porch.

“Hyunjin,” Felix called out to me. “Let’s go.” He shared a look with Jade, as if he was apologizing to her. My heart began to crack in two, more than it had when Minho brought Jeonghan out to the porch.

“Really?” Jade frowned.

Felix shrugged. “I’m sorry,” he said, giving his head a small shake. “I tried to stop this.”

“Always,” I groaned, rolling my head backward. “You always have to take her side.” Felix took three steps closer to me, folding his arms.

“I do.” Looking back at Jade, his eyes flickered to Jeonghan for a second, a breath corrupting him, then he looked back to Jade. “Y’okay?”

“Be a lot better if I had a warning,” she said. Closing his eyes, Felix shrugged and shook his head again. 

“We weren’t coming here,” Felix muttered, sending a glare toward me, but I was grilling him right back. “Let’s go. I told you how to go about this, this isn’t it. I’m driving us home.”

Behind Jade the baby cooed and shifted himself around in Minho’s arms to look where Felix’s voice was coming from. The bottle fell from his lips, Minho catching it quickly before it rolled onto the ground.

Jeonghan lifted a finger and pointed toward Felix, uttering a quiet, “Who?”

It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

I could see his whole face now.

God, he was my mom.

He was me.

But, he wore Jade in his face, his shape.

Sharing a look with Minho, she took a breath and said, “That’s Felix.”

“Vee-liss,” Jeonghan tried to repeat, making Minho chuckle and my stomach roll. His inquisitive little eyes scanned his surroundings, and once they found Jade he reached out his arms. “Mama,” he cooed.

Mama.

I felt like melting to the ground.

She scooped him into her arms and swapped her smile for a cold glare when she looked down at me.

He was… everything. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him.

No words could begin to describe the foreign warmth in my chest.

“He's beautiful,” I whispered, not wanting to disturb his peace as he looked around the yard. 

Sighing, Jade nodded.

“He looks like you,” I said, pulling my eyes away from the baby for half a second to look up at her.

She scoffed and pulled a silly face. “Not in the slightest.”

I laughed, and Jeonghan searched for me. His big eyes met mine for the first time.

Breath hitching in my throat, I smiled at him.

He lifted a finger to point at me and asked, “Who?” 

A lump formed in my throat.

My own flesh and blood.

Jade gulped.

No one seemed to be able to speak aside from the one year old.

“Who?” He asked again, looking to Jade for instruction.

“Jinnie,” she muttered as Jeonghan was about to ask for the third time.

Placing one hand on her shoulder and the other over her heart, Jeonghan looked at me and gave me a once over. I wanted to laugh, but I shoved it away.

“Chi-nny,” Jeonghan said.

“That’s me,” I breathed.

“Chi-nny, well, Mama,” he said, his tone sad, laying his head down on Jade's shoulder.

“Time to go inside,” Minho suggested, smoothing a hand over both of their backs. Eyeing his hand on Jeonghan's back, I furrowed my brows.

“Why?” I asked.

“Jinnie, yell, Mama,” Jade repeated clearly for me to hear, bobbing her head with a sureness.

“What!” I screwed his face up in confusion, raising my voice.

“He remembers you,” she shrugged.

I sucked in a breath. “Remembers… me?”

She rolled her eyes and said, “We were in the parking lot of the grocery store. I was picking up his birthday cake, you were visiting the liquor store next door.” I broke my gaze and looked at the stairs. “It was the first time in a long time I’d caught you, so I tried to give you the paperwork.”

“You took it from her, ripped it to pieces and screamed in her face,” Minho added. “While this one watched from the window.”

Jeonghan turned around to look at Minho, a grin breaking out onto his chubby cheeks. “Dada,” he cooed, holding out a hand toward him.

What?

Whipping my head up in a flash, I burned my eyes into Minho’s.

“Really?” I grit my teeth. “Kid calls you Dada? I’m half of him, and I get Jinnie?”

“Hyunjin,” Felix said, taking three more steps toward the stairs. “Let’s go.”

I took a step, getting closer as I rose on the stairs. Behind Jade, Minho pulled her aside, taking her place at the top of the staircase. His arms fanned out to hold onto the railings, asserting his dominance.

“You don’t deserve that title,” Minho grilled, narrowing his eyes. “And last time I checked, you aren’t listed on the birth certificate, did you forget about that?” 

I did. I was drunk.

I shot Jade a glare, Jeonghan watching me from her hip.

“Did you forget the kid’s a product of her cheating on you?” My expression broke out into a grin. “Remember that?” I took another step up the porch, and just before I was eye level with Minho, who’s temper was rising by the millisecond, Felix was grabbing onto my wrist.

Minho’s grip on the railings relaxed, color returning to his knuckles as he said, “You’ve gone soft, Jinnie.” Teasing me with his own words, the nickname, what Jade used to call me, stabbed me in the chest. “Felix wear the pants now?” he said while Felix pulled me down to the grass. Felix hit him with a glare.

“Sorry, Lix,” Minho said softly after a look to Jade, shaking his head.

Felix wrapped an arm around my back and parted his lips to speak, until a car whizzing down the street took the scene. It came to a screeching stop at the curb.

He needs to get that fixed. Chan.

“Wonderful,” I chuckled, grabbing onto Felix.

The car door slammed shut behind him, his expression angry, on defense as he started up the lawn. 

Felix sighed in frustration.

“We’re leaving,” he raised his voice, holding a hand up to Chan.

“Damn right you’re leaving,” Chan said, puffing his chest, stopping beside my car.

Jeonghan shouted, “ANNIE!” 

Snapping my neck, he was sitting up in Jade’s arms holding his out to Chan. Angry Chan waiting for us by the car, who was here to see angry Minho standing on the porch with my son. Jade was angry, too. They were all so angry.

Felix pulled me to the car. I couldn’t feel my fingers, or my face.

We were leaving, and Jeonghan was staying here with these angry people.

“Let me get the door for ya,” Chan snickered, yanking the passenger door of the sports car open. Felix ignored him.

Gripping the edge of the door, resisting Felix’s attempt to sit me down, I frowned, watching the porch. My baby was up there, and I was leaving him here.

“Darling, in the car, please,” Felix whispered to me. “I promise you, we will fix this. I promise. But, I need you to get in the car.”

“Need some help?” Chan questioned, rounding the door to grab onto my arms, yanking them off of the door.

I snapped.

Tearing my eyes of off my son I pushed Chan away by the chest. The smirk he wore spurred me on. Throwing a hand back, somewhat of a fist, I tossed it toward him, but he caught it, and he laughed.

Flinching, Felix groaned and shoved Chan backward himself with his hip.

“Fuck off!” he shouted at him. “Chan, fuck off!” 

Holding his hands up, Chan smized and took two steps back.

“I like this Felix,” he said. “Control your man, yeah? You leave my family alone.”

He got me in the car.

I couldn’t breathe.

Felix got in the car, and took my hand. “Deep breaths.”

Wet hair dangled on my bare shoulders where I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of green tea in front of me. Feet tucked up onto the chair, my arms were wrapped around my sweats, my chin resting on a knee while my gaze rested on the table.

Felix moved about the kitchen, putting dinner together for us to share. 

He didn’t sing.

We didn’t talk about what happened. The drive home was silent, aside from my breaths. When we arrived home he helped me out of the car and into the house. We spent too much time on the couch, me buried in his chest, sobbing.

I felt stupid.

It was stupid, no matter what positive affirmation Namjoon or Felix wanted to feed me.

What the fuck was I thinking?

After a shower, I found myself here.

“I’m sorry,” I said, interrupting the peace that had made itself comfortable around us. 

Felix glanced up from the counter. “Don’t be,” he said. “You’re allowed to hurt.”

“But…” Sighing, I dropped a leg to the floor and sat up, stretching a hand across the table to hold onto the warm mug of tea. Felix watched me grab it and take a sip.

“Tell me,” he said when I put the mug down, recognizing I’d need help pushing the words out.

“I shouldn’t… Shouldn’t have lost my temper,” I said, meeting his gaze. “I should’ve listened to you. Shouldn’t have gone there, at all.”

Felix pursed his lips, focusing back on his work at the counter. “Do you regret it?”

Thinking to myself, I placed a finger between my teeth and glanced about the room, his house that was turning into ours as the days passed by. I shook my head. “I don’t. Is that horrible?” He didn’t answer, he only encouraged me to keep going with a smile. “I liked it when you used to tell me what I was feeling, and if it was wrong.” Dropping my chin, I shot him a look out my lashes and he laughed.

“You have to tell me, darling,” he shrugged. “I’m not allowed to do that anymore. You know what you’re feeling, you know if it’s wrong. Though…” his voice trailed off, and he danced his gaze upward in thought, “If you care so passionately about something, and you’re fighting for it… I don’t see how it’d be so horrible.”

The smile that found my lips made him roll his eyes. “Thank you.”

He jutted the knife in his hand toward me. “That was not me telling you how to feel.”

“Sure,” I winked, and the knife almost fell to the floor. He caught it, flustered, and brushed the moment off with a gentle laugh. 

Standing to my feet, I made it a point to drink more of the tea Felix had made me before I took myself to his side, dragging a finger over the back of his hand that worked the knife. He paused, smiling, and gave me a look over his shoulder. My eyes, glued to his hands, avoided his. Wrapping my other arm around his front, I stood behind him and rested my weight against his back, letting my hand live over his, working with his as one.

Laying my cheek to his hair, I basked in his warmth, allowing my other hand to slip beneath his shirt, resting over his belly, keeping him close to me.

“Twenty seconds,” I whispered, and he stopped moving altogether.

Without another word he had spun around in my arms, slipping his around my shoulders, yanking me into his grasp. His fingers slid into my hair, keeping us pressed cheek to cheek until I dropped my head and buried it into his neck, my hands pressing into the small of his back. I could feel him taking deep breaths, the steady beat of his heart keeping mine in the same rhythm. Soon enough I was breathing in time with him.

Twenty seconds came and went, but we didn’t move.

Not until the phone rang.

Felix expressed his disappointment with a sigh as I pulled away. His brown eyes, shinier now that they were full of tears, gave me the sappiest look. 

Tipping my chin down, I placed a finger beneath his and lifted his lips to my own. “I love you,” I whispered, my heart erupting into flames within my chest.

Felix kissed me one more time, smiling. “I love you.”

Leaving him for the phone, the loss of his warmth killing me internally, he turned himself toward the counter to continue his work. A steady hum started to come out of him. I prayed he’d start to sing.

Lifting the phone off the wall opposite Felix, I rested my hip against the counter and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?” I asked, voice more lifted than before as I took in the view of Felix’s backside. A smile found my lips when he began to bop his head to his own voice.

“Hello? Hyunjin?”

The phone nearly slipped from my grip.

“Jade?” I choked out. Felix whirled himself around, eyes wide.

“Yeah, Jinnie, it’s me.” Her voice was quiet, and partially broken. Felix was by my side in seconds with an open hand.

“H-hang on, Felix is here, here, I’ll give-”

“No.” She cut me clean off, stopping me. “I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you.”

~ july 5th, 2021 ~

“You should not have come with me,” I muttered as I pulled my car up to a stone edged curb where dozens of other SUVs were parked. The unnecessarily big house was decorated in pink balloons, streamers and banners alike. Music pumped from the backyard, we could hear it over our radio. An offended sort of laugh came out of my son.

“What are you talking about?” Jeonghan’s eyes bugged out of his head as he yanked off his seatbelt. “I know these people.”

Grinding my teeth I followed suit and took my belt off, shutting the car off and opening my door. Sure enough, a song from the latest popstar at the height of her career poured into the car from the yard full of people. Their chatter could also be heard from here.

“Yeah, but there’s a lot of people,” I narrowed my eyes. Clenching his jaw, his mother came out of him. At least my appearance still reigned superior. Paired with his dark brown hair pulled into a bun on the back of his head, he would forever be my twin. “This is always a toss up.”

Jeonghan pulled his lips tight. “He’s my cousin. I’ve seen this happen before. I’ve had to do this without you before. I’d rather be here with you then have you come alone.”

Taking a breath, I almost had one of those I can’t believe he came from me moments. Felix had taught him so much. I, me, myself, I’ve taught him so much. Even his mother and his stepfather, as much as I still hate to admit it to this day. Looking over my shoulder, taking into account what cars were here and which ones weren’t, I gave him a nod.

“Okay, thank you,” I said. “Just… be you.”

He smiled, his eyes curving upward. “Always,” he said happily, shoving my shoulder.

“Do you think they did this one big enough?” I asked him as we ascended the paved driveway. Giving me a silly look, he laughed. 

My boy was always happy.

Now at twenty four, still wanting to hang around both sets of parents, he was happy. He had a girlfriend now, one he brought around occasionally. It was still new, but she was great. I couldn’t wait for the day Felix and I could tell her about Jeonghan’s gay crisis he had at fifteen. At the time it wasn’t funny, but now whenever he brings it up another detail is added that has the potential to cripple every audience. He was unapologetically himself. Very little scared him, and I admired him for that.

“Nothing is ever too big for Sana,” Jeonghan breathed, mounting the grey brick layered steps. Glancing up at the banner that hung in the front door alcove, pink and bright and sparkling, with a ‘Happy Birthday Rose’ in the center, I huffed a laugh.

“Think we’re in the wrong color,” I said quietly. Jeonghan with a hand on the doorknob, pushed the heavy door open and glanced back at me pointing up to the banner. Widening his eyes and his grin, he looked at our matching dark clothes and laughed aloud, the sound echoing as we stepped into the air conditioned home.

Small children we didn’t recognize ran by us without a care, one almost taking my boy out by the knee. Tucking his hands over his chest he stepped closer to me and swallowed another laugh. Shooting him a knowing look we started through the home, large, spacey, echoey, yet full of so much stuff that one had to weave through each room. The tall walls painted white had family photos hanging up, portraits of two forced smiles holding their babies brought into a world where they’d one day succumb to the same fate as my Jeonghan.

It wasn’t a thing yet, but I could feel it.

That poor boy. Not a photo was genuine.

Poor boy, but good man.

I wondered if he’d let me have a conversation with him, too.

Leading Jeonghan into the kitchen where things fell quiet, a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders with an exasperated sigh. Shorter than me, straight hair hung in front of his naturally big eyes. His strung out eyes.

“I didn’t expect you to get here so fast,” Taehyun said, breathless. His fingers dug into the bone of my shoulders. Jeonghan narrowed his eyes, keeping watch over the entire situation. My boy had a sharp brain, he was observant. In moments like this he’d be able to relay every detail back to me once it was over.

Putting my hands over Taehyuns, I took them off of me and returned them to his personal space. “Are you okay?” I asked. He was high, but that was normal. Something else had happened. He was fuming.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, scratching the top of his head, then at his arms. “I’m good. Why?”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Taehyun,” I said, lowering my chin. He laughed, a singular sound, then shrugged. I wasn’t going to get anything out of him. Poor boy couldn’t speak for himself.

“My sister just left,” he sneered, and his jaw set into place.

Right. That.

He gestured behind him. “Beomgyu’s there,” he said. “Bathroom. I can’t get him out.” Jeonghan started for the hall, looking back at us for permission. With a nod I told him he could go. Shifting my eyes back to fidgeting Taehyun who couldn’t make himself comfortable, he said, “It’s getting worse.”

“For who?” I asked inconspicuously, eyeing the way he moved his hands over his skin. “Beomgyu, or you?”

Taehyun’s glare wanted to kill me if the boy could’ve wielded the power. “Him, damn.” He folded his skinny arms over his chest and did his best to stand still. “He was high when he got here, then he started drinking. She showed up, and he was a mess.”

“Did they speak?”

Taehyun narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck do you think?”

He’s lucky his words were ineffective over me. If I was Jeonghan’s age or younger I’d attempt to kick his ass. At least Taehyun didn’t have the strength to choke me unconscious, not in his current state anyway.

“Okay, well did he see the kids? He didn’t do anything, did he?”

Taehyun pursed his lips and shook his head. “He never does. He just watches them.” With a side eye to myself, he muttered, “She had another baby, yanno?”

Knowing what this meant to him, I tilted my head to the side and hummed. “I had no idea they were expecting more.” He rolled his eyes at my words, my insinuations, and laughed. When the smiles calmed down, I caught a glimpse of how it really made him feel. He was torn apart. That only meant the one in the bathroom was equally, if not more heartbroken. “I’m sorry.”

He scrunched his brows and shook his head. “God, no, don’t do that, I mean… I’m fine. It’s fine. If anything it just means she’s-”

“Hey, Dad?” Jeonghan’s voice carried down the hall, echoing in the tall ceilings. He appeared and my blood ran cold. The look on his face coupled with the worry in his tone told me I’d have to step in. I’ve never had to step in for him before. Not when it came to Beomgyu.

I was right, he shouldn't have come with me.

Leaving Taehyun in the kitchen I walked with a purpose, laying a hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder as I passed by him, letting him know that he did his best. The further I went, the louder the cries became. The sobs. The heavy breaths. The murmurs of words that scared me shitless.

Not that I’d ever show it.

Turning into the dim bathroom lit up by the window on the wall, I stopped in the doorway and took a breath. Jeonghan stood behind me, his lips pulled down.

Beomgyu was on the floor, splayed out on the floor, yet curled into himself. He was conscious, he was breathing, but he was saying things I never wanted to hear ever again.

Stepping closer to him, not letting his panicked breath affect my own, I squatted beside him and pushed his shaggy hair from his damp forehead. He was a sweaty mess. A sweaty trembling mess. Taking hold of his arm I yanked up the sleeve and rolled my head back with a groan.

“Beomgyu,” I said gently, placing a hand to his cheek. He stopped mumbling and looked up at me. “You’re gonna come home with me, okay?” 

“Home,” he whispered. His empty glare wrecked my heart. “No, you’re gonna take me… back there.”

Keeping my grip on his wrist, I attempted to move him, but he wouldn’t budge. “We’re going to go home. To my house. Felix is there. I brought Jeonghan with me, did you see him?” Gesturing behind me, the boy's eyes followed and I swear a smile tried to light up his face. “Come with us, you’ll feel so much better at home.”

“Better at home,” Beomgyu nodded, his cheek against the tile of the floor. Jeonghan came closer and he watched him.

“Unless you want to stay here and listen to Ariana Grande, and eat pink candy,” he said, and Beomgyu laughed between sobs. “It’s better at our house. I promise. You know that.”

To my surprise, he tried to sit himself up, wobbling back and forth as he did. Once he was somewhat stable, I pulled a rubber band from my wrist and worked his hair backward out of his face, and tied it into place. Yanking the hand towel from the wall beside the sink, sorry Sana, I cleaned him up and adjusted his clothes to where they belonged. He watched me as I did this, his cries having ceased the second he was upright.

“Better?” I asked, placing a hand to his cheek, pinching some life into it. Thinning his lips, he frowned and wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me into a hug. Dropping down onto my knees, I wrapped mine around him and held him. Fingers grabbing my shirt in despair, face down on my chest, I let him cry.

My promise.

Those words I said to myself so many years ago, before I had ever even held Jeonghan in my arms. Beomgyu and Jungkook. They were my responsibility. Even more so now that we only had each other.

I promised.

“I got you,” I whispered to him, drawing my hand in circles over his back. “Not gonna let anything happen to you, Beomie. I promise. We’re gonna help you.”

haven masterlist ✧ talk to me ✧ thank you for reading <3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

[kimnamshiks]

Show Me A Good Time

Pairing: Hyunjin x Female Reader (ft. voyeur Minho)

Genre: Smut, Light humor

Rating: Explicit

WC: 2.2k+

Tags: Smut, accidental voyeurism turned voyeurism, light humor 

Summary: Seeing you make his best friend so happy never ceases to make him happy and vice versa. He loves seeing love in all forms; though this may be seeing you and Hyunjin’s love just a bit too much to be appropriate. Maybe Minho will remember to close his doors fully next time.

"Hyu-- Honey.." your soft voice filtered up into the air along with an airy moan, echoing.

"Yeah? Is it good?" Hyunjin's voice answered yours in a low tone. “That good? Baby my sheets are getting so dirty because of you~”

Minho was confused, groggy from sleep. The clock glared an obnoxious light of numbers, changing to 3:01 am. Was he dreaming? Maybe he's in a weird alternative middle ground again or something… It wasn't often he would have suggestive dreams regarding his roommate and his roommate's girlfriend. But it can happen; seeing them be so cute and happy together with the silly banter, inappropriate comments do happen also. The soft, slick sounds of kissing and slurping on the other hand were too high and sharp to be his dream-lagged mind. (Possibly… He does have a habit of daydreaming) He rubbed at his eyes as he was going to get up but a sharp moan stopped him in his tracks.

His eyesight came into a sharp focus towards the bathroom since it was between the rooms connecting them both in a roommate suite. His door was slightly ajar as Hyunjin's was open. Completely open with a reflection of the bedside lamp, Hyunjin’s room was … Giving Minho a full view of the activity going on with you and Hyunjin.

Of you two in bed preparing to fuck. Heavens why did you two have to go at it at this hour? Do you two not know how to sleep?

You were breathless against the gray cotton sheets, body shiny with a thin layer of sweat in a sweet arch that he didn’t think was comfortable but you could care less about. Another moan rippling from your lips as your legs slid further down on the bed. Hyunjin himself just seemed to be in his boxers for the time being but his body also had a layer of sweat to match, hair wet, and sorta curled up at the ends. A shift and you moaned hard for him.

Fading pink and mostly blonde hair shifted as the male lifted his head to tilt it innocently. “You have to be quiet sweetheart. Do I need to keep your mouth occupied?” 

A view of your head thrown back from the pleasure Hyunjin was giving between your legs, his grip tight enough on the inner part of your thighs. The way your hips tried to roll against the male’s face or fingers but was stopped when his grip adjusted to press your hips against the bed more. Minho could tell Hyunjin was looking up at your face with that grin he loved to use when he was particularly enjoying the torture. The blonde didn’t have his mouth on you right now in combination, for the fingers quickly going in and out of your wet core were doing wonders he was guessing. He mentally thought how long Hyunjin was down there lapping at the juices coating his hand. Or if Hyunjin has already made you cum once or twice.

“Maybe if you would just… Fuckin’ gimme..” Your voice waivers from another plunge of Hyunjin’s fingers into you, gripping his free hand to immediately shove a couple of fingers into your mouth.

The male’s mouth dropped open at the same time Hyunjin spluttered your name in a whimper. You flicked your tongue around three of his fingers sloppily, slurping and making Hyunjin stop to focus on punishing your mouth. You took it in stride as more spittle fell onto your chest with a muffled groan. He pressed down harshly to make you open your mouth wide, even rubbing the pad of his fingers onto your tongue.

“Mm ready Hyunnie. M’ready now.'' He watched you plead, in that whiny voice you reserve to try and get what you want once your mouth was free. 

The male mimicked you as he sat up to look down at you. He demanded you to say it again. With lips shiny from spit your mouth opened again to repeat yourself. And again. And again, the tone turned just that tad more demanding that Minho’s own body heated up in response.

Minho always caved under it no matter what you asked for when you got petulant. (He was weak for you and he believed his best friend knew it too.) This was going in his spank bank, he’ll feel guilty about it later. He slid his hand into his boxers and gripped himself, biting his lip hard to keep his noise of satisfaction at bay, realizing he was already leaking enough pre-cum to make the slide against his dick easier. He should feel guilty but right now he was too hard, his mind on wanting to watch you two until the end.

“Are you darling? Think you’re soaked enough?” a hummed out question, probably rhetorical. Hyunjin didn’t even let you answer before he continued, “Maybe you can have it now if you ride me pretty. Can you do that?”

Minho gyrated his hips into his hand lightly, eyes taking in everything as you pulled your boyfriend in for a deep kiss. Groans and whimpers being swallowed by each other. Fuck… What he wouldn't give to see you on top of his cock, letting him sink deep into the most intimate parts of your beautiful body and carve his shape in. Kiss and mark your skin besides Hyunjin’s finger bruises.

Hyunjin pulled back with a satisfied sigh at your drenched core and brought his hand down to his aching dick to ready himself. Wrapping his fingers to coat around the dripping head, down the slight curve to the base for a quick squeeze with a harsh moan of your name. Both you and Minho watched; you more so turned on and ready but he did more to assess it.

Not to say his best friend has a pretty dick… But Minho thinks it’s a pretty dick to match his pretty best friend indeed. So pretty he wondered if you were going to stretch your lips around it.

Do you deep throat? Do you tease with kisses and avoid his arousal completely? Would you let Hyunjin fuck your mouth as you gag with spittle and cum sliding down your face? Or maybe you two kiss after you take his load?

He was glad his free hand was in front of his face due to holding back a whimper. His hips kicking into the tight fist of his hand, his eyes were drinking in your frame as you sink slowly onto Hyunjin’s lap, thighs drenched in your juices that the squelching sound echoed loudly.

“Nngh-- Finally I’ve been waiting for this all day. It’s so good.”

Your hands glide up your body with the first roll of your hips onto Hyunjin’s with a pace that screams payback. The slow and dirty kind, the grind so hard that you had Hyunjin bruising up your thighs and hips with the tight hold on your body.

He looked up your frame with love and teasing, voice coming out in a broken husk “Come on baby you said you waited for this--”

Minho slowed the movement of his hand over his cock, following along with what seemed to be a hell of a ride. He snuck some extra lube into his hand for the easier glide and to not cum so early.

"I did say that didn't I?", a hiccuping giggle left your throat as your loving boyfriend kicked his hips up. "It's my turn to have a l-little fun too." Your lips left little blooming marks upon the slate of salty skin and lean muscle as you rode him slowly. Sometimes your hips would leave Hyunjin’s so you could look at him twitch, shiver from the cooler air on his heated skin then drop down hard onto his cock yet again.

You alternated this for a while and caressed your body, sighing from a particular roll or whimpering when the blonde sped up the pace for a bit. Minho was drooling onto his pillow and his own skin was hot and sweaty in its rising temperature. His best friend caresses and gropes where he can reach as he praises you. “Feeling good?”

“Mmm yea, roll your hips just.. just like that.”

“Squeezing me like you don’t want me to leave you, that’s fucking hot--”

You squeezed around him when you raised up before dropping down so hard that you watched blonde hair fly back in undeniable pleasure-- what you didn't expect was the loud ass THWACK to resonate in the room. Hyunjin groans (in a non-sexy way, that’s gonna leave a bump--) while holding the back of his head and wiggling underneath you. Curses flew from both of you as it made you laugh loudly.

"Honey! Aaaha--" a wheeze "Honey are you ok--" another wheeze "Okay? Fuck that sounded like it hurt.."

"Pussy so good I lost my head for a second there--" he hissed out. His eyes were closed tightly, grin goofy despite the obvious pain with him slapping at the air in your direction, "You're loud! Don't wake up Minho!" But your cackling echoed into Minho’s room too.

Said male was stifling his laughter into his pillow, heart full watching you two take care of the situation while laughing. Knowing that you'd stop everything to check on your boyfriends’ well being made a little envy burn in his chest, but he pushed that away when his dick throbbed from you guys laughing again.

Really dick? At a time like this? Laughing shouldn’t be sexy you know--

"If your damn headbang didn't wake him up before my laughter then I dunno what to tell you."

A gentle ass smack here, "Cheeky brat!"

"Who's being loud now~? You want Minho to hear you?" You questioned the blonde, not missing the way his cock jerked against your walls.

"Oh?" The may you said that to Hyunjin had Minho’s hand grabbing his dick tight yet again, playing at the base near his sack.

Now he sees that you guys changed positions so Hyunjin's head was at the bottom of the bed, feet touching the headboard. His best friend looked sheepish when you placed a pillow underneath his head. You still cooing at him and massaging his scalp while talking to him; agreeing that it would be a slow sex night after all. Exchanging a few deep kisses, Minho's rapidly paying attention again when Hyunjin goes to lay back down. Your hips sinking down onto Hyunjin’s cock (which was still hard... Minho wonders yet again if his friend likes pain--) moving back to its up and down motion. Occasionally he'd play with his tip and sigh, eyes starting to slip closed…

"Don't think I missed that little tidbit, Hyunjin.."

Hyunjin moaned your name high from his throat when you scratched down his chest, "Miss wh--"

A slow corner smirk appeared, nonchalance lacing every word. "The fact that your dick twitched when I said Minho's name."

Hyunjin's face was red with a wide-eyed stare towards you, not knowing how to proceed with that. Minho in his bed was wide-eyed to match, ears heated in surprise and cock weeping just a bit more at that thought. Fuck did Hyunjin find him attractive sexually too?

"We'll be able to talk about that later. Hm?" You pant and grind harder, "Wanna be loud next time for your best friend then too. Maybe he can join--"

Hyunjin's moan was even higher this time, gripping your waist hard with a blown outlook as you leaned back to ride. Legs spread farther so his cock could reach even deeper into your body. When his hips began to meet yours you felt euphoric, his tip kissing your g-spot with ease now. It was deeper but still a leisurely pace.

Minho forwent that pace and was trying his best to stay quiet as he fucked his fist again, his other hand sliding under his shirt to tug his hard nipples. His mind produced so many scenarios of how he'd have you bent over, folded, split on his cock while he kissed you over and over again.

A tremble skittered up into your chest, mouth running off now. "O-Oh? You'd like that babe? Would you watch him fuck me?"

"Shhhiiit yes…" he groaned deep, his face still sporting that strawberry hue on his sweaty skin. "Wanna see your lips around his cock--"

"I wanna see yours around his cock too, Jinnie. Minnie wouldn't know what to do--"

Both of you were whimpering and moaning loudly, uncaring of the noise level now that you two were so deep into the pleasure that clouded minds. Minho listened, his own soft whines joining into the fray of noise. How you two talked about the positions, the possibility of whose mouth did what to his body, or what fingers went where. Even how every surface of the house would be a new surface to fuck on if he did accept the proposal.

Yes yes, I would accept. He thought, hand blurring over his cock as his orgasm began to coil. Tugging his puffy nipples, a look of bliss casts over his face at the mere thought of the chance. He imagined him getting his cock rode by Hyunjin, you by their side as you marked his neck or kissed him filthy. As the two of you played with him, making his voice reach pitches he never thought of. Hyunjin's shout of your name as he came, made Minho crash through his orgasm with a low and long whine; a combination of both your names like a prayer. He was still riding out his high when you came a bit after with Hyunjin’s name on your lips.

All three of you were spent, Minho staying still and suddenly sleepy again. You slumped over Hyunjin’s side and shared tired kisses while wiping each other down with baby wipes. He should clean up before he had a bigger mess in the morning but he was drifting off to your voice murmuring jokes and Hyunjin’s squeaky laugh.

With his mind fizzed out he succumbed to sleep, he dreamed of hand holding and chaste kisses this time. Shy smiles and embarrasing laughter on outings with his favorite two people in the world.

The clean up is for future Minho anyways, he’s gonna enjoy his nutting experience to the fullest.

Future Minho would like to beat up Past Minho’s ass. Since Future Minho was stuck with the embarrassment of being woken up by you giggling over the mess in his bed; making some excuse of a pretty good ass dream. Curse you Past Minho! Curse you!

[mae-gi-writes]

Obtuse | Bang Chan (Stray Kids) - PART TWO

Summary ☆ "I don't know. I want to be his friend but then again, I don't. I mean, how can you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them, you're thinking about how much more you really want?"

Genre ☆ bestfriends to lovers au, angst, slowburn, suggestive themes, college au, fluff, soft Chan x oc (Micha)

Word count ☆ 

. ° ☆ ° .

PART ONE | PART TWO

. ° ☆ ° .

Idiot, Micha kept on replaying the words like the words to her favourite song, Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

There she sat in the hospital chair beside her mother’s unconscious body, her life hanging by a thread with the help of the machine that beeped obnoxiously in the corner, and all she could think of was of the messed up realization that she was in love with her best friend.

Chan hadn't spoken a word as she'd sobbed and sobbed, even though she wasn't sure what she was crying about exactly. He'd only wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in to rest his head against hers in an embrace so firm and filled with warmth that her heart tugged in pain. He was so close that it pained her, the realization that he was so close yet so far was a blow that left a permanent bruise.

So she'd pushed him away, wiped her tears and gestured him to follow her.

He said nothing as he sat beside her, shifting every now and then as he succumbed to the dreadful silence filling the room.

And she hated it, that he was here as if this was the most normal thing for him to do. Because it wasn't. As if on impulse, Micha couldn't help but glance at his attire that confirmed her suspicions he'd just gotten out of the gym, probably having dropped everything to rush to her side.

"Who told you?" Micha asked. Her voice felt weird, strangled as she spoke.

Chan shifted and she felt his eyes on her face, the warmth of them permeating through her skin, "Felix called."

A stagnant pause ensued. In the silence, Micha forced herself to swallow down the lump of emotion stuck in her throat, forced down the feelings that seemed to have erupted through her every pore like she had just opened up a pandora's box of truths.

Go away, was what Micha's brain screamed. Go away.

But her heart protested. Please don't leave me.

Her brown orbs lifted to his side profile. Please don't leave me.

Even if I love you.

"You should go," is what she murmured out instead, "you're wasting your time."

"Don't say that," he replied, tone firm.

His silent assurance, that made it even harder to push him away. Micha didn't know how to feal with these feelings and though she wished she had stayed blossfully ignorant of them, there was no denying the cold hard truth that now blared atop her head like a red alert sign.

At some point, Micha's eyelids had fluttered closed for the next thing she knew she was squinting, disoriented and cuddled into a warmth that smelt of familiar pine and boy aftershave. Chan.

It was so familiar, laying on his chest and smelling that comforting scent of his, a scent that reminded her of home. She couldn't help but notice how well she fitted against him, the warmth of his hands casual on her waist and his nose nudging her temple and her heart skided to a momentary halt.

This was Chan. Just Chan, her best friend. Nothing else, nothing more.

So it was a relief once the doctor slid through the door, causing her to instantly jostle Chan out of the way. He stated that while her physical injuries would heal in a few weeks, though the one thing that worried him the most was the fact that her mother might not wake up from her vegetative state.

Micha would've fainted if not for Chan's strong hold on the back of her elbow and at some point, her father ushered her out with firm orders that the young man take her home.

"Here," he stuffed a few dollar bills in Chan's hand despite the latter's protests, "get some dinner. I insist."

The next few weeks were a blurry mixture of visiting the hospital while helping her father to run the family restaurant whenever she could. They took turns sleeping and watching over her mother's unconscious form, talked about the happenings of their everyday life in hopes that it would trigger something, anything.

The unforseen circumstances caused Micha to push back her internship by a semester and that so meant that she was permanently home and permanently swamped by none other than her best friend.

"What are you doing here? You’re supposed to have class," Micha asked upon noticing him slide out of the the kitchen with two sets of noodle bowls on a tray. It was no understatement to say that NomNom Noodles Restaurant was bustling with hungry customers as it was a Friday evening. What Micha hadn't expected though, was to see Chan's sloppy smile and sweaty forehead.

He shrugged, "your dad told me you could use the help."

Her heart tugged, partly churning with affection followed by this burning annoyance to get him out of her sight.

And he was helpful; he was a charming waiter that cracked jokes whenever he could, grabbing the dishes from her hands the moment she walked out of the kitchen, wiping tables he wasn't even assigned to. And all that made it harder for Micha to push him away. Oh how she wanted to ignore him, to make him understand that she needed a space, and a lot of it.

But she didn't want to hurt him. Not when he deserved so much better.

"Oi."

Micha was whipped back to reality when she felt Chan's finger poke her forehead, only to be faced with his dimpled grin, "earth to Micha. Customers are waiting."

Heat flushed through the back of her neck. She swatted him away, "don't touch me with your greasy hands."

"Aw shut up you," he made a move towards her, causing her to sidestep with ease, "stop it, Chan--"

She whipped around, almost bumping into one of the chairs as Chan's arms circled around her shoulders to pull her back to hug her close, "Chan!"

"Don't I smell nice? I'm just sharing it with you!"

And as if on cue, the door chimed open, both their heads whipping up with welcoming grins.

Only to face Ayeong's smile.

"Ayeong!" Micha all but shoved Chan away as she noticed the slight, barest slip of the said girl's smile.

Chan whooped and ran up to his girlfriend, cheeks flushed and eyes crinkling into crescents, "baby girl! You came!"

"And I brought company," she allowed him to kiss her cheek just as the door opened to reveal Minho and Seungmin bundled up into their coats.

Swalllowing down the sudden lump of pain, Micha went forward into Ayeong's open arms, "hey, it's been a while."

"I know!" Ayeong hugged her tight, so genuine that tears threatened to fall. Micha squeezed back slightly before quickly diverting her attention to greet the two other boys.

The restaurant was empty by the time their noodles were fresh out of the pot, meaning that they had the restaurant for themselves as they caught up on life and remembered their high school days. Micha learnt that Minho was interning at another restaurant, Seungmin had passed his Design projects with flying colours, and Ayeong had already signed a contract with the business hotel that she had trained with.

"That's amazing,” Micha said to Ayeong, "do you like it?"

"I do," Ayeong beamed, "and my superiors are nice too. They're all a bunch of guys so they aren't complicated."

"Careful Ayeong, one might think that you're gonna change boyfriends," Minho teased and caused the girl to stick out her tongue at him before leaning against Chan's shoulder.

Micha's eyes instantly shot away, swallowing hard at the knot forming in her stomach. She couldn't help it. It was like second nature to hurt herself by catching small glimpses of their entwined hands, of the adoration dripping from their eyes and she wished she could just make all the pain end.

It seemed like Minho noticed her unusual demeanour, for as they were leaving the restaurant after washing up the dishes, he'd stopped by the door to shoot her a concerned look.

"You okay, Micha?"

Surprise flitted through her face for a few seconds, "uh, yeah. Yeah I'm fine."

She saw him glance at Chan's figure before looking back at her with pursed lips, eyebrows knitted together as if deep in thought, and shook her head.

After all, who could deprive Chan of his happiness?

. ° ☆ ° .

It was safe to say that Micha fell into a routine; waking up to visit her mother in the early morning hours, replacing her father at the restaurant when it was his turn to sit at her mother's bedside, avoiding Chan at all costs even though he was practically throwing himself in her way, and locking up at around ten, nine earliest if the restaurant was void of clients.

She would've made a much greater effort at pushing Chan's helping hand away if not for the fact that her mother was mostly occupying the forefront of her mind. The truth was, a small part of her was actually relieved that Chan stayed no matter how angry she seemed, how cold she was to him. He was a big puppy constantly coming back for more no matter how much she kicked at his countenance.

And that made her feel even worse.

"Me and Aejong made pancakes the other day," Chan chatted on one late evening as they were clearing the tables, with Micha responsible for wiping them down while he mopped the floor, "she's a horrible cook. As unbelievable as that sounds."

"Why? Because she's too good at everything?" Micha knew she sounded bitter, but her tongue seemed to have a mind of its own, lashing out without control.

Chan, as oblivious as he was, didn’t seem to catch her sense of mockery, “maybe not everything. But she’s definitely very talented in many ways. I never knew she took piano lessons until she was seventeen. She passed the exams and all.” 

"Good for her.” 

“You know what’s the best thing though? I really like that she never boasts about herself. That, I admire that--”

“Yes Chan, I get it,” Micha finally snapped.

Chan paused in mid-mop, “What? What did I do now?” 

Her teeth sunk onto her lower lip as she kept on wiping down the tables instead of answering his question. 

“Why are you angry with me?”

"I’m not angry with you,” she folded her dishcloth a little too aggressively and turned to the other table. 

“Then why are you talking to me like that?” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“Micha.” 

“I said it’s nothing!” Micha finally whipped around to scowl at him and maybe it was the mixture of saddened pain whenever she thought of her dying mother along with the continuous stab, stab, stabbing of knives that pinched her heart every time she saw Chan so much as utter his lover’s name, a name that wasn’t hers, that brought tears to her eyes despite her not wanting to let him in, not anymore, not when he was one of the sources causing her pain. 

But the young man’s frustrated expression gave way to instant worry the moment he caught her eye. He made a move towards her. 

And that was when she burst into a fit of angry, heart-wrenching sobs. 

It was as though all the pain and the pent-up emotion that she’d stuffed at the back of her heart like an unused closet she could throw away the key suddenly burst open without warning, for once she started crying, Micha found that she couldn’t stop. Her tears only heightened upon feeling the warmth of her best friend’s embrace, pulling her closer and allowing her to sob her way through the tides of pain and worry and sadness that seemed to have taken over her countenance. 

Cheek pressed against the side of her head and hands softly rubbing comforting circles along her back, Micha just allowed herself to feel sorry for her state, if only for this one night where she thought that everything was slipping through her fingers; her mother, Chan. Her career. Her future. 

Once Micha had cried all the tears from her body so that there were none left, she could only rest against Chan as he rocked her from side to side, the only comfort that was holding her broken pieces together at this point. She hated it, loathed it. His kindness, his genuine concern for her. 

It made it so much harder to push him away. 

“How long have you been holding this in?” came his softened murmur against her hairline. She shivered unconsciously, hating the way her heart seemed to beat a little faster merely for his alto. Or maybe it was the closeness, the intimacy of his touch, especially in the dim lights of the restaurant with only the soft distant sounds of traffic in the distance to keep them company. 

“It’s not about how long,” Micha’s fingers unconsciously gripped the back of his hoodie, hoping to extend this moment for a little longer. Just for tonight. She continued in a mumble, “everything is...everything is just so overwhelming.”

"Want to talk about it?” 

Micha’s lips pressed into a thin line. When she spoke after her slight bout of hesitation, her voice trembled, “it’s like I’m not even in my life anymore. I feel like I’m in a nightmare-- and I can’t wake up.”

He hummed in reply, hugged her just a little tighter and kept rocking from side to side. That was all the encouragement she needed. 

“I mean, my mom’s a vegetable and she’s--dying,” a small sob echoed through her throat, “I know how these patients end up. I see no other solution. She’s going to wither away in that bed and I can’t do any fucking thing about it. And then there’s my degree which I’m not completing because we obviously need the money for mom so I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, to my life and to my career and just, I just can’t breathe Chan and it scares me, it scares me so damn much--”

“Hey hey,” he pulled back just enough to see another path of tears dribbling down her face, thumb reaching up to brush it away, “it’s okay, shh. Enough crying, hm? You know I hate it when you cry.” 

That only incited her to cry some more and Chan made a noise of protest before he cupped her cheek, gently wiping them away as they fell, “I know that everything sucks right now. I--I can’t even imagine how impossible everything must be for you, and I can’t tell you that things will sort themselves out because we never know what might happen.”

“But,” he continued with a gentle squeeze to her hip then and she tensed slightly at the intimacy of his gesture, “I swear it gets better. I swear it on my heart. And if you want to cry then cry, I’ll be here. If you need to shout, to scream, to punch someone, I’ll be there Micha,” tilting her chin up so that she had no choice but to gaze at him, he cracked the softest of smiles that left her all giddy inside, “I’m not going to let you go through this alone, that I can promise you.”

Swallowing thickly, it was hard not to squirm underneath the soft glimmer of his soft maroon-eyed stare. So she dropped her eyes while mumbling out a soft, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he whispered back.

“You don’t deserve to be here, you-- you’ve done so much for me and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to repay that--”

“There is nothing,” he cut her off firmly while his hold tightened unconsciously, “to be sorry for.” 

Still, Micha’s eyes suddenly found interest in the patterns of her best friend’s shirt, knowing that there was no possibility of eye-contact now, not if she wanted to keep her self-control in check. Maybe it meant nothing for Chan to hold her so casually in his arms, but there was no denying the fact that anyone looking through their restaurant window could mistake them for a couple, and the thought caused Micha to reel back in self-disgust. 

As if sensing her inner turmoil, her best friend’s hand went up against the back of her head before he nudged her to his shoulder. And while Micha’s brain was shaking in disapproval, she couldn’t find the strength to fight against what her own body yearned for, returning back into his arms and telling herself that it was just for tonight. Tonight, she would push everything at the back of her mind and just for now, would enjoy the mere warmth and comfort that came with Chan’s arms.

Burrowing her face into the crook of his neck and taking in his scent, Micha allowed her eyes to slip closed for a moment, trying her best to engrave this into memory. 

Just for tonight, she promised herself inwardly. Just for tonight, she would be selfish. 

Just for tonight, she would imagine that Chan was hers. And no one else’s. 

. ° ☆ ° .

"Do I have to be there?"

Micha caught Minho's eye as he helped her hand through her coat sleeve. The said young man's eyebrow rose at her question as if she'd never asked a thing so dumb, "yes you do."

"But why?" She stomped her feet while whining, "I don't even like to drink. Or dance."

"It's my birthday. I call the shots."

"I hate you."

"Aw, me too," he pinched her cheek with aggressive fondness and Micha batted him away with her hands, scowling and muttering a string of curses under her breath as she trailed after him towards his car.

Minho's birthday was to be special as he was turning twenty-two, the perfect excuse to go out and drown themselves in alcohol. Felix, Changbin and Jisung had even rode all the way from their campus to stay over for the long weekend, taking advantage of the public holiday to party the night away.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Minho asked as he slowed to a stop at a red light.

Micha turned to him, "yeah?"

He hesitated for a few seconds. Then, "do you like Chan?"

It was so sudden, like ice running down her back and making her go tense, fingers curling onto the material of her dark pants. Micha gazed out at the stop light until it went blurry, not knowing what to say to make it sound truthful.

"No--"

"I know he doesn't see you," Minho spoke up hurriedly, "but I see the way you look at him. I couldn't help but ask."

It wasn't like she had planned to let her secret out so soon. But he'd caught her red-handed. Her shoulders slumped, followed by the softest of sighs escaping her lips.

"You caught me," was the only thing she said.

Another pause that allowed the words to settle between them, before the light turned green and the car moved forward. A good distraction against the awkwardness sticking to Micha's heart like sweat.

"Do you..." Minho paused, "do you think you should tell him?"

"No."

"Don't you think he needs to know?" Minho turned his car down a street lined with pubs. They were slowly approaching their destination, “It’s not fair to him.” 

She kept her gaze out of the window, partly too embarrassed to face him and partly to keep herself from crying, "what good would it do?"

She was glad that they had reached the parking lot of the restaurant bar at that point, for she had no intentions of continuing a conversation that led to nowhere and, ignoring Minho’s call for her name, quickly jumped out of the vehicle and strode right up to the doors of Seniora’s. 

The restaurant was already full and she was glad that they had at least booked a private VIP spot in advance, thanks to Seungmin’s amazing organization skills. Micha weaved her way through in the dim spotlights shining atop dark mahogany tables that blended in with the darkness, trying to find their respective table among the throng of pretty, made-up girls in too-short dresses and guys who had no problem puffing out their cigarettes right into her face. 

“Guys!” Felix’s voice boomed through the jazz notes floating through the air, and Micha turned towards his voice to see him waving frantically, a huge grin on his childish face, ‘over here!”

His excitement was contagious as it caused her own lips to stretch into a mirroring grin. She bounded into his arms without hesitation, “Felix! You made it! You said you had an assignment to finish.”

“You know how convincing Minho hyung gets once he sets his mind to it,” the freckled man gave her a once over before he whistled, “don’t you look--”

“--Fucking gorgeous, Micha,” the pair turned towards the voice, seeing Changbin with open arms while she squirmed at his compliment. He was being too kind, though her sleek black jumpsuit that clung to her curves was definitely a contrast to her usual sweater and jeans. Behind him stood Jisung and Seungmin, as well as a few other of their classmates, girls and boys included.

Her eyes suddenly locked onto a familiar pair of dark orbs. Chan. 

“Hello! Hug, please?!” Changbin’s hand brought her attention back as he waved before her, scowling in mock annoyance. Micha grinned, wrapping her arms around his neck, “come here you big baby.” 

“Careful Mi, he might have wandering hands now that he sees you’re more than just a replacement for Chan,” Seungmin commented while giving her shoulder a squeeze. 

That earned the latter a glare from the said muscled man, “what? I’m just stating how beautiful she looks.” 

Micha made her rounds of greeting -- did Minho’s friend group triple by tenfold since she was gone?-- and was exhausted by the time she finally stumbled before Chan.

“Hey, look at you,” Chan offered her a dimpled grin and she swore she wanted to coo at how cute he was. Stop that, Micha gave herself a mental slap as he continued, “all I’m gonna say is, stay away from Changbin tonight.”

“He’s not going to do anything,” she rolled her eyes, “I’ve known him long enough. I’m basically his brother.” 

Her best friend said nothing, only gazed at her in that undecipherable way of his, like he was trying to solve a puzzle that couldn’t be solved.

“What?” she asked. 

“Uh--nothing,” he dropped his gaze, looked away just in time for their attention to be diverted by Minho calling for a round of shots, “alright alright everyone! I’ll open up the party, shall we?”

Before she knew it, Micha had been tugged along by none other than Felix only to be dragged to the counter where a row of shots were being filled to the brim. She didn’t have to ask, knew instantly by smell that this was definitely not water. Her nose burned at the sting of vodka permeating her nostrils and she cursed under her breath as Minho handed her one with a teasing, yet sympathetic grin.

“I think you’ll need it tonight,” Micha couldn’t stop herself from scowling at the underlying meaning in his words. She swore at him, “dick.” 

Micha hadn’t realized how monotonous, how boringly routine, her life had become ever since she flew back to her motherland. What with her mother’s situation in hospital and her running around trying to cover up all of her father’s blind spots, Micha had forgotten how it actually felt to be young, to be as carefree as she usually would be during university in-between her constant flow of assignments, how she used to get into this ‘fuck-it’ mood and hit up the arcade with the rest of the boys before winding up at one of the local bars, beers in their hands as they competed on who could chug down their drinks faster. 

So she took advantage of Minho’s birthday to let herself relax and actually pay attention to what was happening to her, around her. Just in this moment. Nowhere else. And it felt good. It felt...alive. Free.

She danced along to the music, chatted with the other girls who she now realized were quite cool and sassy in their own flirtatious ways, drank shot after shot every time another one of her friends dragged her back to the bar without realizing that maybe she should’ve kept count.

Until it was all too late. The alcohol didn’t have any effect. Until it hit her like a tow truck.

And maybe this sudden rebellious streak had manifested itself the moment her eyes lingered over the familiar pair of figures on the dance floor, chest clenching and heart crumbling at the sweetest brush of Chan’s fingers against Ayeong’s forehead. Micha turned away just in time to halt the tears burning through the corners of her eyes and she impulsively made a grab for Changbin’s arm before pulling him along with her, “let’s get another drink.” 

“Are you sure Mi? You kinda look tipsy already--”

“It’s on me. Now stop being a wuss and come on.”

Seniora’s was filled to the brim now that it was almost past midnight and the sea of bodies aided to calm the storm threatening to split her heart into. It made it easier to breathe, easier to push back the thought at the back of her mind as the alcohol paved its way through her blood and thrummed against her veins. 

It felt good. Too good. And Micha wanted this numbness to last forever.

. ° ☆ ° .

Unfortunately, it didn't.

"It's alright, you're alright," Changbin's soothing alto comforted her as she kept on throwing up the contents of her dinner, continuously dragging her hair back to hold it up and out of the way.

"Oh god--" Micha's stomach lurched "I'm sorry--" she couldn't stop herself from vomiting once more and boy, was she glad that Changbin had dragged her out of Seniora's just in time.

"So?" Felix called from the corner of the small street in which they were hiding from curious eyes. No point in giving people something to talk about, "how is she?"

"Holding up," Micha called back despite the sour taste in her mouth. When it felt like she wasn't going to pass out anymore, she slowly dragged herself upwards, throwing Changbin's concerned expression a weak smile.

To which he replied, "you look like shit."

"Thanks Changbin. That's exactly what I need to hear," Micha rolled her eyes, feeling his strong arm wrap itself around her waist. She allowed herself to lean into him just this once, fearing that she might trip over her feet and fall flat on her face if she wasn't careful.

They stumbled over to Felix who, upon giving Micha a once-over, stated that she was to be sent home at once.

"I'm fineeee guyssss," Micha whined through slurred words, "pluss, I really wanna...dance y'know?"

She swayed a little for good measure, only to stumble and she would've landed flat on the sidewalk if not for Changbin's arm holding her upright.

"I'm bringing you home," Changbin's tone was firm.

"Nooo, I don't want to go home yet!"

"Micha, you and I both know that you're too drunk to make those decisions right now."

"But Changbinnieeee I just--I really want to--" and as soon as the picture of Chan's face flashed before her eyes, she felt her resolve crumbling into the form of tears, "I want to...forget about him--"

It hurt too much. She couldn't keep it together. It was like she was forcing herself to hold in the pain burning through her loins and no sooner had had she tilted up to meet Changbin’s eyes that she burst into wretched sobs.

She felt him still for a moment, arm hesitantly tugging her closer, hand wrapping around her head in comfort, “h-hey,” he peered into her face, slightly panicked at her outburst, “what--what’s the matter?” 

“Mi?” Felix’s voice joined in. Warmth swept over her side, “Mi, what’s wrong? Do you not feel good? Do you want to go home?” 

Micha nodded, and felt herself getting tugged to Changbin’s chest. That made her cry even harder, for while his scent was nothing short of comforting, it wasn’t the warmth she was looking for.

All she wanted was for Chan.

But he wasn’t hers. And he never will be.

“I got her,” she heard Changbin’s words over the raging storm tossing her heart aside. Warmth circled her shoulders -- his leather jacket, no doubt -- and she allowed his hands to steer her away from the loud bass beats of the restaurant bar and she had to give that to him. No matter how much of a bad boy he was, no one could possibly deny him of his heart of gold. That Micha was pretty sure of.

They were halfway up the street with Changbin flailing for a cab when a familiar car pulled up their street. Its window rolled down, causing Micha’s breath to halt in her throat.

“Need a ride?” Chan’s eyebrow was raised in amusement, only to drop in concern upon noticing her pale composure, “what the--Micha?!” 

“No,” Micha quickly stuffed her face into Changbin’s shoulder, “Changbin, please...” 

The latter, as confused as ever, nudged her towards the car, “come on Mi. Chan’ll take you home.” 

“Nooooo.” 

"Not the time, Micha. Seriously, get in the car.” 

“I said noooo--”

Too late, for Changbin simply whipped her up in his hold, walked right around to the passenger door while ignoring her trying to sock him one, before plopping her into the seat. He slammed the door in her face and waved goodbye, “see you tomorrow, loser!”

Great. That was exactly what she needed. To be alone with Chan.

“Well someone drank a little too much tonight,” was the first thing he said the moment he pulled onto the street, a little smirk sent in her direction. Micha only sighed heavily, before leaning away to look out of the window pane. 

This was painful, sitting here with Chan with all those unresolved feelings burning her loins while he sat, totally oblivious and charming and just so breathtaking that it physically hurt her fingers from stopping any attempts to hold his hand, just touch his skin, just-- feel him. 

“Where’s...Ayeong?” she mumbled against the glass.

Just the name caused her chest to tighten. 

“I dropped her off with the other girls. They’re having a sleepover or something.” 

“She’s not spending the night with you?” 

“No.” 

“Ohh how dumb of her,” the words rolled off her tongue so easily now that there was alcohol swimming through her veins. It actually felt good to know that Ayeong was not to be with Chan that night, “it’s her-- it’s her lossss.” 

“Oh you are so drunk.” 

“I am...” she hiccuped and threw him a scowl, “not drunk!” 

Chan chuckled, reaching over to ruffle her hair playfully and that simple act merely got her heart racing, “I’ll see if I have some extra aspirin to give you for your headache tomorrow--” 

"Chan, can I--can I tell you something?” 

He stopped at the red light and as his head turned, eyes finding hers in the darkness of the morning hours, a surge of courage suddenly overtook her.

She wanted to blame it on the alcohol even though deep down Micha was certain a small part of her had always wanted to let her best friend in on the most deepest, darkest secret she wished she could carry to her grave.

But this secret that had been eating her from the inside out, was something that was making her heart to burst at the seams. And while she never even imagined of hurting Chan that way, she knew that this was inevitable. It had to be done, for her to move on from it. Because she’d realized then and there, that it would be impossible for her to just bury those feelings away, no matter how hard she tried.

So that left her with no other choice.

“I think that,” her hand rose up as if on instinct to poke his cheek then, eyes drooping with sleep, “I think I....might be in love with you.” 

-----

Tagging: @allyg-onz​ @elysianxshepherd​ @rindomo​ @freckledquokka​ @maedesculpaeusoubi​ @missskzbiased​ @seungoclock​

[gabxbyr]

See You Again (English version) Newt x Reader

(English is not my native language so excuse me if there is any mistake)

Finally they had made it. The Right Arm, the end of the Scorch, the end of hell, the end of WICKED. They didn't believe in it anymore and yet here they were, all sitting on the rocks high above the ground, contemplating the people who were gradually packing up the camp in order to leave tomorrow at dawn.

Y/N had delicately placed her head on Newt's shoulder in order to make the most of their newly acquired freedom. She could finally allow herself this simple gesture without having the impression that it was not the moment. Indeed the blond had confessed his love for her just before they fought the grievers to get out of the Maze but with the battle, Chuck's death -at this thought the girl's heart tightened- and the crossing of the Scorch they had never had the opportunity to live their relationship fully. And here, with her cheek on his warm skin and her nostrils impregnated with his masculine scent, she felt like she belonged. On top of that she was with her friends and that's all that mattered. Rather with a part of her friends sadistically reminded her brain as if to tarnish her sudden joy... It is true that many of her companions had died so that they could get there and she could not forget it. First there was Ben, a close friend of Minho and her, as they were all runners; then it was Alby's turn, their leader and their guide, to disappear. Then Chuck's sacrifice, which she still had a hard time getting over -maybe not as hard as Thomas, but still- and at the same time Gally's death, which saddened her, and then the last death, Winston's. Y/N still remembered his death and the way he had been treated. Y/N still remembered his screams when those damn cranks had lacerated his belly and that tragic gunshot that meant the death of their friend. At the thought she couldn't suppress a shiver.

-Y/N, Newt's voice suddenly rang out, waking her from her lethargy. Are you all right ?

He was surely aware of her silence and her shivers.

-Yes do not worry, she answered by playing gently with the fingers of the blond whom she fixed with a nostalgic face. I just thought of all the sacrifices which we had to endure to arrive here and of all the close ones that we lost.

Newt looked at the girl pressed up against him with a mixture of love, compassion and sadness in his brown orbs. He understood exactly what she was getting at, after all Alby was one of his best friends and he would never know they were out of the Maze. Yet he also knew that if he could do it again he wouldn't change a thing if it meant he could be here with her. It was with this thought that he gently lifted her face with his fingers under her chin to plunge his eyes into her Y/E/C ones.

-I know how you feel, we all feel it here. But you know as well as I do that we wouldn't be here without them, and maybe what I'm about to say will sound completely selfish, but I'm glad we're both here.

As an answer she gave him one of her sincere and radiant smiles that illuminated her beautiful face damaged by the dust and the sun. The blond wanted to bend down to kiss her sweet lips but Minho didn't count on it and took the girl by the armpits and made her turn in the air.

-Did I hear Princess depressed ?

-Minho ! Y/N shouted, ripped from the sweet embrace of the former second in command. Put me down right now or I swear I'll throw up on you !

-Better you throw up on me than on your loser boyfriend's mouth, said the asian boy proud of him. Don't you think ?

-Her loser boyfriend fucks you.

Newt had wanted to take a stern voice but he failed miserably far too happy to see his girlfriend and his best friend playing like children and laughing so lightly. It reminded him of the happy times he had spent on the Glade away from the horror of the outside world. Frypan must have been thinking the same thing because while the two of them were still running around behind each other the former Galder's cook approached the blond.

-I miss the Glade.

-Me too, Newt admitted. But now that it's all over I'm happy.

-Yes, it's all over, Fry murmured with a smile.

As the two troublemakers returned to sit with them breathless from their childishness Thomas arrived to join them, Chuck's statuette clutched in his fingers. There was a sudden silence as nostalgic thoughts undoubtedly resurfaced.

-If only Chuck could have seen this.

It was the brown man's voice, full of immeasurable sadness. Slowly Y/N put his hand on his shoulder in compassion as Newt cleared his throat.

-He would be so proud of you, Tommy.

The nickname made Thomas smile softly as he murmured a "yeah" in response. He missed little Chuck terribly, but was grateful to have Newt, Minho, Y/N, Frypan and Teresa by his side. He wondered where Teresa could be. He felt the need to see her and to hold her in his arms as the blond did with his friend. He was going to ask where she was but he was cut by Frypan who greeted Aris by shouting.

-l kinda like that kid.

Minho gave a septic look to Fry showing his disagreement with him.

-Yeah. I still don't trust him, though.

His remark made the blockards laugh, recognizing the typical suspicious behavior of the Asian.

-Minho in all his splendor, ladies and gentlemen.

The former keeper of the runners looked at the only girl of the group by raising his eyebrows then he smirked which never announces anything good.

-You, he began, pointing at her. Believe me I smell you ! You smell like klunk !

Suddenly a mini scream was heard coming out of his mouth as Y/N had just hit him in the shoulder.

-I call mistreatment of Asians racism, Frypan said.

-Thank you bro, Minho thanked him, pretending to cry. We understand each other !

After a new laugh from the blockards, Thomas remembered the question he wanted to ask before they debated Aris. He then turned his jet-black eyes towards his comrades.

-Hey, where's Teresa ?

Y/N frowned a little at the name. From the moment this girl arrived, she had found her strange and her doubts had been reinforced during their crossing of the Scorched Earth, but except for Minho and Newt, whenever she talked about it with someone, they told her that her suspicions were simply based on a feeling of jealousy because she was no longer the only girl in the group. Nonsense! The proof was that she got along very well with Brenda. But the girl with Y/H/C hair preferred to keep quiet and ignore the question unlike her boyfriend.

-Yeah, the blonde answered, pointing to a sharp rock in the distance behind them. She went up there.

The brunet thanked him with a nod before leaving hurriedly to meet her. They were all aware of Thomas' feelings towards his blue-eyed goddess and although the others didn't care -except maybe Minho who didn't hold Teresa in his heart- Y/N had a bad feeling.

This was confirmed when shortly afterwards bergs belonging to the WICKED began to arrive in the distance. The girl's heart began to pound ferociously as adrenaline and fear mingled within her. They had only just regained their fucking freedom!

The gladers only reacted when the first bombs hit the camp floor.

-Let's get moving, Minho yelled at them as he got up and headed downhill right into the action.

Y/N followed him after a last loving and fearful glance at Newt. Screams, blood and fire surrounded them now as they made their way to Harriet and Vince in search of weapons to fight with. Vince handed the gladers guns.

-Can you use these ?

They nodded and prepared to fire.

-Cover me, shouted the leader of the Right Arm.

So it was with fear but adrenaline that they stood around the van containing the machine gun and began firing at the WICKED soldiers. The rage of life they felt left little room for guilt, even though they would have deaths on their conscience.

-There are too many of them, Minho despaired.

They were running out of munitions and the asian's realization gave them an extra wave of fear... This was the end, WICKED was winning. As Y/N searched her pockets for ammunition she heard Vince's deep voice ringing in her ears just before she felt a wave of electricity run through every inch of her body and then she fell into unconsciousness.

When they woke up, the gladers were in a line, among the other WICKED subjects, kneeling and weakened. Y/N stood between Minho and Newt and looked at Rat Man with all the rage she felt. She had to look away, however, when a soldier came up behind her, scanned her neck and announced.

-A3.

This is what she was reduced to. A fucking number, like an animal. They were dehumanizing them as if they were nothing more than livestock. WICKED was intentionally forgetting that they were just teenagers. This realization made her clench her fists and teeth. Her impulsiveness was getting the better of her.

-Where's Thomas, she heard Rat Man ask.

And before she could stop herself, her rebellious and impulsive side surfaced.

-Up your ass, you rat-faced bastard !

A silence was created on the battlefield. Newt looked at her reproachfully as Janson turned red with anger. He approached the girl and before the gladers could react Rat Man took her by the arm and threw her into the middle of them all. And as she tried to get up from the ground, she was kicked in the abdomen, making her regret her stupid behavior.

-You want to play it smart ? Well you're going to regret it kid, he then turned to one of his colleagues. Did you say that we had almost all of them ?

Y/N saw the guard nod as she began to get really scared.

-Good, Janson seemed to be pleased as he loaded his gun and pointed it at her. I guess no one will mind if I kill one of them then ?

The salt-and-pepper haired man was preparing to shoot under the incessant shouting of the gladers and the threats of Newt when Thomas appeared.

-I'm here.

Janson then diverted his attention from the young girl who went to snuggle in the arms of her boyfriend. The latter held her against him as if his life depended on it.

-Everything's fine, he whispered in her ear, trying to reassure himself. I am there.

During this time the brown one also took a blow of the part of the Rat Man then was placed at the sides of Minho who looked at him dazed.

-Why didn't you run ?

-I'm tired of running.

His statement seemed to cast a sort of veil of hope over the blockards and Y/N lifted herself a little from the blond to give Thomas a discreet smile. He was right, they should stop running. However, her smile quickly faded when another berg appeared and landed a few meters away from their position, bringing a sense of fear back to the group.

Ava Paige. The woman with platinum blonde hair who was supposedly dead and was the head of the WICKED. Their worst enemy was standing in front of them, staring at them like the test subjects they were in her eyes. She ordered Janson to start the boarding and that's how the different teenagers were dragged towards the berg. So far, none of the gladers had been taken. However, Ava stopped in front of them and made Thomas stand up.

-Good evening, Thomas.

Was she making fun of him? She put him in a damn Maze, sent him to a city full of cranks and hunted him down to say a simple good evening ? The only thing the brunette could think at that moment was "go to hell" but he preferred to keep quiet and look at her, a defiant glare stuck to his face. However all trace of insolence flew away when Teresa appeared at the side of this woman.

-I don't believe it, said Minho, standing up.

-Teresa, Frypan murmured in astonishment.

-But what's going on here ? asked Newt lost.

-She's with the enemy, Thomas suddenly said in a voice devoid of emotion.

Y/N couldn't stop a nervous laugh from coming out of her lips as a huge hatred took place in her heart.

-I knew it, she whispered, realizing she was right all along. You are a fucking traitor !

The blond realizing that his girlfriend was once again going to put herself in a sensitive situation placed his arm in front of her as if to protect her and prevent anyone from hurting her. He would not allow it.

That was the moment Janson chose to intervene.

-Teresa's always had an evolved appreciation of the greater good. Once we restored her memories, it was only a matter of time.

-I'm sorry, she began as the gladers looked at her accusingly. I had no choice. This is the only way. We have to find a cure.

Thomas lowered his head feeling his heart tear as the girl he was in love with drove the stake of betrayal deeper into his heart. He wanted so badly for this to be just a nightmare yet he knew it was real.

-And a cure for your bullshit ? Minho interjected with his usual sarcasm. Didn't you find it ?

-Drop it, Minho, added Y/N. All it would take is a little loyalty and humanity.

The dark-haired girl looked down but ignored them royally as Ava confirmed her words. The latter was trying to convince them that she was not a monster and that she just needed more time. But Marie, the camp doctor, spoke up.

-And more blood !

-Hello, Marie, said the blonde woman as the female doctor approached. I hoped we'd meet again. I'm sorry it had to be under these circumstances.

-I'm sorry about a lot of things too, Marie cut her off. But not this. At least my conscience is clear.

Unlike Teresa, Y/N thought furtively before concentrating on Ava's answer.

-So is mine.

A shot rang out, cutting short the exchange between the two women. And the said Mary collapsed on the ground under the desperate cries of Vince and the murderous glance of Janson. While looking at this scene with teary eyes, Thomas understood what he had to do. At this thought his breathing became more panting and the tension in his muscles more oppressive. He waited for the WICKED to begin boarding them before pulling out a bomb and threatening to detonate it.

-Everyone stand back, Janson ordered his soldiers, his stress mounting. Hold your fire !

-Let them all go, Thomas shouted as Rat Man tried to talk him down.

Janson, Ava, and even Teresa all began to talk to him to make him listen to reason, not realizing that they were only reassuring him of his decision. Moreover, the gladers, at first overwhelmed by the events, began to understand why their friend was doing this and it was resigned that Minho came to Thomas' side and nodded to show his support. He was followed closely by Frypan, Newt and Y/N who hold hands with the blond man.

-We're with you, Thomas, said the latter, taking his girlfriend in his arms for a last embrace.

-Do it Thomas, added the asian to cover the protests of Teresa and Ava.

-We are ready, made Fry by holding the shoulder of the brown.

-It's the end, finished Y/N by pressing a little more strongly the blond in her arms.

After a last glance towards his friends Thomas turned to Teresa.

-We're not going back there, he declared while shaking before preparing to release the bomb. It's the only way.

Suddenly, as Ava Paige's scream resonated as if to prevent the explosion, a horn went off, stopping Thomas in his tracks. It was Jorge who drove like a madman into one of the WICKED helicopters, leaving the members of the Right Arm the opportunity to disperse and defend themselves.

-Are you all right ? asked Newt, concerned about the well-being of his beloved.

For all answer Y/N nodded her head before joining the others and suddenly getting down on the ground while Thomas had just thrown the bomb on the members of the inter-governmental organization. As they got up, they went in search of weapons to fight with. Brenda was defending them from the top of the cliffs like a sniper. She had managed to hit Janson in the shoulder, which made Y/N smile and find a gun. Hope made her heart beat again and gave her enough adrenaline to fight.

As for Vince, he went back to his machine gun, shooting at the WICKED soldiers and at the same time quenching his thirst for revenge for Marie's death. It was total chaos. The gladers were running for cover, covered by Minho and Y/N who were the only two of the group to have acquired weapons. They found some debris to hide behind about hundred meters away.

-Keep going, the asian shouted. We got you !

-Be careful ! Newt asked worriedly as they ran to their hiding place.

-Don't worry about us, the girl tried to reassure him.

Thomas suddenly arrived running, he passed behind his two friends to join the others. It was the last one they could retreat. Y/N then began to run towards her friends when she realized that the asian did not follow her.

-Minho, what are you doing ? she shouted to him already six meters away from him.

-Go ahead, go ahead, he replied, shooting at a soldier. I'll catch up with you !

She continued her race trusting her best friend when she saw him taking an electrifying ball of the WICKED and falling on the ground shaking of spasms. She shouted his name and asked him to get up and join her. She heard her friends in the distance doing the same but the former keeper of the runners was close to sink in the unconsciousness. She then turned her gaze to her friends in the distance and then to Mihno who was beginning to be carried away. One last time she looked into Newt's chocolate eyes and mouthed a final "I love you" as he understood her intention and shouted at her to stop. It was too late, she had made her decision, we don't abandon our friends. She then faced the asian and started to run towards him as fast as she could. She could feel her heart racing as she shot at the two guards holding her friend. Once she reached him she let out a sigh of relief and with great effort and a few more drops of sweat she managed to lift Minho off the ground. She then looked up at her friends' hiding place and began to sprint. However, as she saw the hopeful looks on her friends' and Newt's faces, she felt an excruciating sting in her back and electricity paralyzing her. She then fell on the sand and dust while letting out a cry of agony which was replaced very quickly by the cry of despair of her favorite blond boy.

The latter seeing the girl he loved being taken away by the WICKED wanted to intervene but his friends understanding that it was over held him back with tears in their eyes and their hearts in pieces. And it was under their desperate looks that the berg enclosing their friends started to fly away while Janson threw them a last triumphant smile while holding firmly the unconscious body of Y/N in his arms.

-Bastards, Newt shouted, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You bastards ! Bring them back ! Come back ! Give her back to me !

Thomas went over to him to put his hand on his shoulder, but as surprising as it may seem, the blond threw himself into his arms and cried against his shoulder. Usually the second in command kept everything to himself and did not share his sorrows. He never expressed his sadness, but this was too much for him to bear. When Y/N had arrived in the block just after his suicide attempt, she had been a breath of fresh air for him. She had been his little dose of hope and he needed her. He couldn't lose her.

-Tommy, he said in a firm voice, looking into Thomas' wet eyes. Promise me we'll get them back.

-I promise, Newt.

Masterlist

[nightshade-minho]

Nightmare (3)

Warnings: awkward situations, a lot of feelings, suggestiveness.

Part 1 | Part 2

“Alright, So we need to figure stuff out. There has to be rules, right...? I’m not completely sure, but in nearly all the movies where they do this kind of thing, they always make like, a list of ground rules.”

You tried not to think about how in most of those movies, the two end up together as well. So...you weren’t sure just how helpful a list of ground rules would be.

“You’re going to base whether or not you go to prison because you watched To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before once?”

Minho rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah. I hated that movie, though.”

You groaned out loud. “Okay, Minho. So what exactly do you propose?”

“Do you think I should get a paper and a pen, or something?”

You contemplated slamming your head on the coffee table.

“I’m sure we can remember.”

Minho put a finger on his chin. “Okay...so first of all we have to make this believable, right? We have to adjust our lives a little bit, start doing more coupley things, even if we’re alone.”

You looked at him, frowning. “Why?”

“It has to look natural in public.”

You nodded. The more Minho spoke, the more your brain was cursing you for agreeing. There were so many alternative solutions to his problem...although you couldn’t think of any at the moment.

“A lot of people already know we’re best friends, so just walking together isn’t enough. We really have to take this to the next level...”

“No kissing.”

Minho trailed off, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“I said, no kisses. On the lips, anyway. Cheeks, hands, foreheads are all fine. I....I just think it would blur too many boundaries if we did kiss.”

Minho nodded slowly. “I supposed that does make sense.”

He cleared his throat and resumed. “The culmination of all of this is at Rina’s party this Saturday. We have to be the perfect couple, okay?”

You scoffed. “Don’t you think it would be a little too difficult for you to attend a party and not suck the face off of every hot girl present?”

Minho smiled humorlessly. “Anyways, two days later, we’ll break up. It should be a public affair, and Rina should be there.”

You rested your head back against the sofa, rubbing your eyes with your palms. “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this for you.”

Minho let out an indignant chuckle. “Need I remind you that this is all your fault? I passed up the opportunity to have sex with one of the hottest girls I’ve seen in my life to come over here and spend time with your sorry ass.”

That hurt. You raised your face, looking at him. There was regret written in his eyes, but you didn’t care. You could feel tears rising, and you hated it. You couldn’t cry in front of him. You wouldn’t.

“Lee Minho, you’re a fucking asshole. Seriously, being my best friend isn’t compulsory. If it’s that tiring and exhausting for you, then by all means, don’t spend time with me...fuck as many girls as you want. It’s all you’ve being doing lately anyway.”

You turned around to leave but was stopped by Minho’s hand, that had shot out to grab your wrist.

He pulled you down, and you landed half on top of him, an angry blush spreading across your features as you realized how close your face was to him in this moment. He was staring deep into your eyes, his hand still on your wrist.

“Y/n...you are my best friend. And I love spending time with you. Also...” he trailed off, looking like he wanted to say more.

“...sorry.”

You sighed. You couldn’t stay angry with him for long. So you nodded.

It took a second for you to realize that you were still in that position with him. You moved off of him, and he straightened up.

“Hey, we’re both free right now. How about we move Movie Night to tonight?”

You giggled. “I’ll get the popcorn...and some blankets.”

You tried to stand up, but he placed an arm in front of you, stopping you from getting up completely.

“I’ll do it. I’m making up for my little faux-pas yesterday. Besides, I’m your ‘boyfriend’ now.”

He winked before leaving the room, and you sank back into the sofa, your heart doing little jumps in your chest.

•••

When he came back, he set the popcorn on the table before settling next to you, pulling the blankets over the two of you as the movie started playing.

You were trying your best to focus on the movie, but Minho had his arm around your waist and had pulled you into his side. Minho often put his arm around you, but this was different. It was clear that he was trying to be romantic, drawing little circles on your waist that was driving you crazy.

“You comfortable?” He whispered against your ear. You nodded.

“I was thinking, tomorrow morning we should walk to campus together. I know your classes are earlier than mine, but we should make an effort to be seen as a couple.”

It was an awful reminder that all this was fake. You shrugged Minho’s arm off and put a little distance between you. Minho turned around, puzzled. “What’re you doing?”

“I just thought I’d be more comfortable like this.”

“You’re ridiculous. What’s the point in being shy? It’s like this huge prank that we’re pulling on the entire campus. Last time I checked, you love deception and lies.”

Minho leaned forward, his hands going to your waist and tickling you like he used to when you were kids, causing you to laugh uncontrollably. He guffawed as he crawled on top of you, tickling you so hard that it hurt. You kicked your legs hard, hitting his arm with your fist. Minho finally stopped, panting as he stared down at you.

It felt like time had stopped. There he was, hovering over you, his face inches away from yours, again. How did the two of you keep ending up in these compromising positions?

Minho’s lips were so close to yours that if you moved up just a centimeter, they’d be touching. In horror, you realized that he was leaning slightly closer.

You pushed him away, sliding out from underneath him and sitting up, blowing hair out of your face. Breathing hard, you turned around to look at him. He had an indescribable expression on his face.

Minho slowly stood up. “Y/n, I’m feeling a little tired. I’m going to go to bed...enjoy the rest of the movie.” He left.

•••

Minho didn’t know what had gotten into him. It’s just...there you were right under him, lips so close to his. His brain had automatically moved him closer.

The ‘No Kissing’ rule was making more and more sense by the minute. It was true. There were too many boundaries that were being crossed.

Minho decided that from then on, the couple-y stuff should only be done in public. He had to remind himself that he’d slept with girls who were more conventionally attractive and sexually experienced than you.

Why then, were you driving him mad all of a sudden?

•••

In the morning, Minho came to the living room only to see you asleep on the sofa.

“Y/n? Get up! We’ve got to go to class.”

You groaned, getting up slowly. “My classes are like, two hours away.”

“I know, but remember? We have to walk together.”

You grimaced as you recalled the stupid arrangement. Getting up, you went to your room and slammed it, finding some clothes to pull on.

When you came back outside, Minho was tapping his fingers on the breakfast bar in a pattern, glancing at his watch from time to time. He looked up, and hurriedly grabbed your hand, half-walking and half-running out the door, with you in tow.

“Minho, slow down!” You felt your heart in your throat, due to Minho’s fingers being so tightly intertwined with yours.

“Can’t! We have to get there at the same time Rina does.”

A while later, Minho slowed his pace, his hand still firmly clasping yours. He looked around. There were a lot of people he recognized, some of them girls that he’d fucked before...the girl from his psych class over at the fountain was eyeing the two of you intensely. So was a lot of people.

Turns out, Lee Minho having a girlfriend invited a lot of questions, especially when some of them knew you to be his best friend. A few people, mostly Minho’s acquaintances, came over and made inquiries. Minho introduced you as his girlfriend each time, prompting a lot of ‘congratulations!’ and ‘finally!’s.

“Minho!?”

You turned around at the sound. There was a raven-haired girl running over to the both of you. She was wearing a very low-cut top and stilettos, and looked very intimidating. You quickly realized she was Mera, a girl that Minho had been fuckbuddies with for a while.

She crossed her arms. “You? And y/n? Dating?”

Minho nodded. “Mmhmm.”

“I thought you said you weren’t the ‘relationship kinda guy’.”

“I-“ Minho looked at you, and then squeezed your hand, pulling you closer.

“I realized I’m in love with her recently.”

You almost let out a gasp at that. Mera was dumbfounded...and frankly, so were you.

You inhaled. “I’m...in love with him, too.” You wish what you said had been a lie, like Minho’s statement.

But it was true, and the acknowledgement of that fact made you nauseous.

Mera stuck a finger in her mouth, imitating a gagging sound. As she walked past, she let her hand drag across his arm. “If you ever come to your senses and break up with her, I’ll be waiting, okay?” She blew a kiss and sauntered away.

You sighed. “This is more draining than I thought.”

Minho ignored you, looking around. “Rina’s not here...”

“Well at least a decent amount of people saw. And Mera’s one of the biggest gossips on campus. She’s bound to come to know. I mean, you’re pretty well known for your fuckboy-ness...this is big news.”

Minho cocked his head to the side. “I suppose that’s true.”

When the two of you reached a quiet hallway, Minho dropped your hand so quickly that you felt your heart ache.

“We’ll wake up a little earlier tomorrow, okay? Maybe we can run into her then.”

•••

That night, you lay on your side. You tried telling yourself that maybe, this was a way to sort your feelings out once and for all. Maybe the reason you fell in love with Minho was because he was your best friend, and that meant there would always be ‘what if’s. Now that you get a taste of what it would be like, perhaps you’d finally be able to go about your life as normal.

Suddenly you heard your door open. You sat up a little, your sleepy eyes adjusting to the light streaming in from the hall. Minho was standing in the doorway in basketball shorts and a loose shirt, holding Gyu.

“You left this little guy in my room.”

Ah. So that’s why you couldn’t sleep. Minho walked closer, handing it to you. “Mind if I join?”

When you stayed silent, he got in beside you anyway. You turned on your side, and for a while, he stayed where he was. Then he put an arm around your waist, dragging you closer until your back hit his chest.

A few minutes later, you heard soft snoring sounds. Your heart clenched, because you knew this was just ‘practice’ because he wanted to make it ‘believable’.

It hurt, the fleetingness of this moment.

You fell asleep with tears on your pillow.

[lixiescheesestick]

[DD/LG Scenarios with Stray Kids]

a/n: I this because I wanted a scenario for each member. Hope you enjoy 😊 also the last 3 got a bit short sorry..

genre: fluff

wordcount: 2.4k

warnings: ddlg content // sfw this isnt really a warning but it's all little space scenarios

ㅡ

Bang Chan

You knew Chan had been having it hard lately, comebacks and all giving him a hard time. His sleep schedule was quite wacky and when he did finally get to sleep, he'd often wake up to nightmares. They made him very anxious throughout the day.

When you were in little space, you didn't understand much of what was going on which Chan knew very well. He made sure to take care of you, and when nightmares occurred he'd keep them as hidden as possible. But when you were in big space you listened to what was on his mind and comforted him when needed.

Tonight was the first night he was sleeping at yours in a long time, and your little self was very excited for cuddles with your daddy. You spent the whole day playing and cuddling and watching Winnie Pooh. And when it came to bed time, you had your paci in your mouth and your favourite stuffie at hand. Chan made sure to give you a kiss on the forehead as he slipped in with you. Your body close to his as you drifted off together.

At around 3am Chan shot up, sweat drenched and breathing heavily. He tried to keep quiet, sobbing to himself silently before feeling your small hands stroke his bare back.

"Daddy.. are you okay?", you asked, slightly clueless in your little form.

Chan choked out a small yes, trying to control himself. Wiping the tears from his face only for them to be replaced with new ones as he remembered the dream.

You pulled his body to yours, holding his head to your chest and stroking his hair as he finally let his whimpers out. You tugged him gently, holding his curled up form in your eyes and calming him.

"I-I'm sorry babygirl… I should be the strong one in the relationship. I shouldn't be like.. like this."

You chuckled gently, kissing his forehead like he'd always do when you felt bad.

"It's okay daddy, I know that littles has to look after their daddies just as much as they look after us. What kind of a girlfriend would I be if I didn't look after you either.. hm?"

Chan looked up at you, brushing a thumb over your cheek lightly.

"Thank you, kitten. You're truly the best little girl anyone could ever wish for.."

Lee Minho

Minho was worried over the past few days. You hadn't been in little space in a few weeks and your stress levels were extremely high with exams and assignments stacked on top of each other. You never took any time for yourself and devoted everything to your school work.

Though after nearly a month, Minho had enough. He went to the shop and got you some banana milk and candies you liked to have when you were little. At home he then arranged a small snack set up, wanting to have a movie night with you. He'd get you there somehow whether you liked it or not.

Minho then slowly approached your office, knocking before going in, only to see you in the same position you had been in hours ago.

"Kitten?" he asked, testing the waters to see if you would slip any time soon.

"Mh." you answered, making him frown.

"Baby, let's get you out of this room. Huh? You've been sat in here for basically days and I really miss my little girl. Let's have a movie night with cuddles?" 

You furrowed your eyebrows, having to reread the sentence from before Minhos disturbance another two times.

"I can't right now, Minho I-", you were cut off by your boyfriend grabbing your chin and tugging it to make you look into his eyes.

"What did you just call me, hm?" Minho asked.

"I-I.. I'm sorry daddy.." you muttered, trying to avoid eye contact. Yet that only made Minho grab your chin harder and focus your eyes on him.

"And have you forgotten our rules, little Kit? What is rule number 1, hm?"

"Kitten must always look after herself no matter the circumstances…" you whispered.

"Louder." Minho commanded you, making your eyes well up as you slowly began to slip into your small headspace.

"Kitten must always look after herself no matter the circumstances… I'm sorry daddy." you said as you started crying.

You felt your boyfriend's arms wrap around your body and pull you into a hug before picking you up and rocking you to calm your sobs down again.

"Does my baby want to put on her onesie, get her paci and watch some movies with daddy?" Minho asked, knowing the answer.

"Mhm, please dada." you choked out, hiding your face in Minho's neck.

"And, kitten?"

"Mh?"

"You're a very good girl. Okay? I love you so much little one."

"I love you too daddy." you giggled, kissing your beloved daddy on the cheek.

Seo Changbin

Changbin had been whining about certain foods all week long, wanting to eat a homemade beef roast or some pork belly with delicious side dishes.

And that's what you wanted to do for him in big space today.

It had been a while since you had reached full grown up space, and now that you were there you really wanted to please your boyfriend with some nice food. You got all your supplies ready and started cooking, cutting up veggies and tossing them into a pan to roast them.

Then you wanted to cut up the cooked meat, shuffling through the drawers looking for the biggest, sharpest knife you could find (which you used for meat whenever you did cook).

You smiled when you finally found it, going back to the counter to cut up your meat. You got half way through when a loud gasp from the doorway surprised you.

"Princess! What on earth are you doing with a knife in your hands?!" Changbin screeched, pacing over and taking the knife out of your hands to which you started feeling small again.

"Huh? Daddy.. I'm a big girl though I just wanted to cook for you.."

Changbin shook his head, putting the knife to the side and hugging you close to his body.

"No no, you are my small little princess that I love with all my heart. So tiny and pretty. Hm? And little princesses don't use knives. Understood?"

You blushed, hiding your face behind your hands as you slipped into your small mindset.

"mhm! yes daddy..  I understand!" you giggled, pulling Changbin into an embrace.

Hwang Hyunjin

"Angel, are you done getting ready?" Hyunjin asked, checking his watch quickly.

"Mhm, here I am daddy." you said, skipping up to him in a casual outfit.

"Perfect." he muttered, holding out his hand for you to grab, which you did, as you started the walk to the grocery store a few blocks down.

"Alright, princess, what did we need again?" he asked. Of course he knew everything but it made you feel very responsible when you could count up the items on the shopping list.

"Nuggies, strawberry milk and daddy's grown up cereal." you said, taking a skip every few steps excitedly.

"That's right! Good girl."

You walked a little longer, talking about fun things you did with your studies until he had arrived home. After some time you finally arrived at the store and began walking around with a basket, searching for your items. 

"Okay baby, can you go get my cereal and I'll get your milk?" you nodded, skipping off in the direction of the cereals.

You looked up and down, not being able to find it until you got to the last shelf. You tried to get it, only then to realise how high up the shelf actually was. After a few tries, and multiple failures you gave up only to hear a chuckle from beside you.

You looked up to see Hyunjin, coming up beside you and effortlessly grabbing the box, chucking it into the basket.

"What's so funny?" you pouted, ready knowing what he was about to say.

"Nothing sweetie. I just think it's really cute how short you are!"

"H-hey! I'm not short at all!" you said, fake anger lacing your voice as you crossed your arms.

Hyunjin just proceeded to kiss your forehead and take your hand to keep you moving along.

"Yes you are, my short little baby." he chuckled, patting your head. You looked up at him angrily which made him laugh out loud.

Instead of doing nothing, you retorted by calling him a giraffe.

"I-, hey that's not nice. Get here!" he said as you began to run away. He laughed, searching through the aisles to find you.

"I'll get you some day shortie!" he mumbled, a large smile on his face.

Han Jisung

You sat up quick, sweat gathering on your cupid's bow as you awoke from another nightmare.

It had been a long time since you last had one, and it made everything worse when you looked to the left only to see your boyfriend gone.

"D-daddy..?" you muttered, tears gathering in your eyes as you grabbed your quokka stuffie and searched for your caregiver.

As soon as you left the bedroom, you could tell where he was. A crack of light shining through his office door. You walked over and pushed it open to see Jisung sat there, hunched over his laptop with papers lying around everywhere.

When you pushed the door open fully, it creaked loudly making Jisung whip around to see your figure stood before him.

"What are doing up so late, baby? Wasn't it bed time a few hours ago?" he asked, pulling you onto his lap as you shuffled over.

"I was asleep! I just woke up.."

"Why don't you go back to bed? Daddy will be there in a minute, hm?" he asked, and you instantly shook your head no.

"I don't want to sleep anymore..  sleep is bad dada."

"Why? What happened sweetie?" he asked, stroking your hair.

"I had a nightmare.." you whispered, snuggling your face into the crook of his neck.

"Oh baby, you can stay here then. If you need a nap just take one on my lap. I'll finish this up and when we get back to bed daddy will be there to keep you safe. Alright?"

You nodded, a smile gracing your face as you snuggled into him more searching for good dreams to fall asleep to again.

"Good night, babygirl."

Lee Felix

Felix had a hard time getting sleep lately. He'd often wake up for no reason and when trying to get back to sleep it deemed impossible without you by his side.

That's why this week turned out much easier for him. He slept through nearly every night. Apart from one.

Felix's eyes slowly opened as he stretched out, checking the time on his phone to see it was only 2am.

He sighed, tossing and turning a bit before looking toward your sleeping figure.

He really didn't mean to wake you up when he tried snuggling into your arms. It just happened.

"Huh? Can't sleep, daddy?" you sleeping muttered. 

He nodded his head as you brought your hand up to play with his hair gently.

"Mhm, I really need my baby to hold me, you know?" he muttered, getting comfortable in your embrace.

You kissed his forehead as he always did to you and held him close to your chest, continuing to stroke his hair.

"Get some rest." you mumbles as you both drifted off.

He finally fell asleep, smiling in the comfort of your arms.

Kim Seungmin

Seungmin had just put you down to bed, giving him time to get ready on his own time. He really loved you, but he was generally always the kind of person that needed some time to himself at the end of the day.

He stripped of his clothes in the bathroom after having cleaned up most of the house, turning on the warm water of the shower and stepping under it. All tension that had built up slowly etching away.

That's when he heard the door open.

"D-daddy..?" you sobbed, making him instantly worry and pull back the shower curtain. Your trembling form before him.

He quickly wrapped a towel around his waist stepping out and pulling you into his arms.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? Anything dada can help with?" he asked, pulling you up onto the bathroom counter and brushing the tears from your face with the pads of his thumbs.

"N-no.. when will you come to bed?" you asked, looking up at him with your tear filled eyes.

"I need to finish my shower and I'll be with you instantly. Do you want to stay sat here until I'm done? So we can know everything's okay?"

You nodded, giving him a tight hug before hugging the Platypus plush that you had been holding to your chest.

Seungmin got back into the shower, going through it as quickly as possible. When he got out he slid the sweats he wanted to wear to bed on, picking you up and carrying you to bed on his hip.

"Now, let's get some good nights rest, okay? If you need anything daddy is here baby." he said, tucking the both of you in before kissing your forehead.

"I'm always going to be there for you." he muttered before you both went to sleep comfortably. All your worries washed away.

Yang Jeongin

It wasn't often you woke up before Jeongin did, but when you did you always tried your hardest to let him get his rest. You didn't like it when your daddy was grumpy.

But today you were excited. It was Easter and you really wanted to go to the Easter egg hunt they were hosting in town.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" You shouted, jumping up and down on your shared bed before falling onto Jeongin's figure, your legs placed on either side of his torso as he slowly woke up.

He gently grabbed you by the shoulders and tugged you down into a warm hug before rolling around and giving you kisses around your cheeks.

"What's this? A little monster coming to wake me up? Who is this small cutie, huh?" he chuckled, pinning you to the bed beneath him.

"It's me, daddy!" you laughed.

"Hm.. you know what happens to monsters who wake up their daddy to early?" Jeongin asked with a smirk.

You shook your head, unsure of what was to come next. Just then you felt two hands at the sides of your stomach.

"They get tickled" he exclaimed, tickling your tummy. You giggled and writhed beneath him.

"Nooo!" you said between giggles.

Jeongin just laughed, stopping to give you a kiss on the cheek.

"My cute little monster." he said, only adoration reflecting in his eyes.

[slytherinbangchan]

‘📶’ Han Jisung One-Shot (Fake Boyfriend AU)

Blog’s Masterlist 

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader.

Warnings: smut

Word Count: 9.4k

This is my last post of the year. I hope you all enjoy it!

Happy New Year everyone and I wish you all the best. I’ll be back soon posting some of your requests and updating my aus.

Thank you for following me so far and I’ll keep working as hard as I can to try and make you happy with my writing.

-So you moved into your new apartment not that long ago.

-And all these college guys/girls live in that same building.

-It's a bit busy and noisy sometimes but it's ok.

-In the apartment on your right live two guys called Jisung and Hyunjin.

-You know Hyunjin's name cause honestly, who doesn't? It's weird not to hear someone mentioning him on the hallways.

-And Jisung... Well... This is kinda awkward but lets say his bedroom is right next to yours.

-First time you heard someone moaning out his name you blushed and went back to the living room.

-But now you're kinda used to it.

-Sometimes you even shush them.

-Anyway at the apartment on your left lives some guy called Seungmin and another one called Jeongin. You've knocked there more than once asking for some help with you door since sometimes it likes not to open.

-You think Seungmin is kinda nice and cute.

-Right in front of you live Minho and Felix. Bangchan has invited them over some other time.

-Oh yeah, you have a roommante called Bangchan but most of the time he's out working or hanging out with a guy called Changbin.

-Since you're 'new' in the city you don't know a lot of people yet.

-Only these girls from work who won't shut up about guys/girls and sex and you'd wish you were more interested on that but the truth is you're not.

-Like you work so hard and your anxiety is so high you don't even think about it till they bring it up.

-And you're so tired of them trying to fix you up with someone.

-You've told them to stop trying thousands of times.

-But they won't and today is not precisely your day.

-Your head hurts like hell and you just want to go back to sleep.

-'Would you meet my cousin then?' One of your friends asks.

-'What?'. You sigh as you massage your temples. 'I told you I don't wanna meet anyone'.

-'C'moon'. She whines. 'Why not?'

-'Maybe she has a boyfriend already'. The other one says and something clicks in your brain.

-'Yeah. You know what? I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but I do have a boyfriend so please? Stop trying to fix me up with your cousins'. You say as nicely as you can.

-'You should have told us! What's his name?'

-'What?'

-'Your boyfriend silly, what's his name?' She chuckles.

-'Oh... Uhmm, it's... Jisung'.

-You don't know why you said his name. Maybe cause last night someone else wouldn't stop moaning it and it printed into your head.

-Also how come you have to make up a boyfriend so people would stop trying to fix you up after you told them to stop so many times already?

-You're so mad about that fact right now but your head hurts even worse. You just want them to stop no matter how.

-Anyway.

-One of your friends is looking at you so excited. What is with her now?

-'Jisung huh? What about a picture?'

-'Yeah, show us!'

-'Oh... Yeah, maybe tomorrow I don't have pics of him here cause it's a new phone'.

-They look at you like they're not buying it but finally they let go.

-Back into your apartment you take a shower and lie down on your bed with the lights off trying to calm that headache down.

-Then you start hearing some music from one of the apartments.

-You feel like crying.

-You're so tired and you feel like your head is going to explode any minute now.

-So you stand up and go knock on Hyunjin's door.

-Jisung comes out and says hi to you.

-'Hey I'm like dying here could you not play music tonight? Please.'

-'Yeah you don't look so good'. He says.

-'Thanks'. You sigh. 'So could you?'

-He chuckles softly. 'Sure, don't worry'. He pats your head lightly and you blush.

-You go back to your apartment with your face still burning red.

-He didn't need to be cute.

-He behaves and don't play any music though.

-He even tells Hyunjin to be quiet.

-It's amazing how thin those walls are.

-You fall asleep at some point to wake up the next morning to Chan's worried face looking at you.

-'You look horrible' He says.

-'Okay?'

-'No, like seriously. I already made a call telling your boss you're sick'.

-'Oh... Thanks'.

-'You're welcome'. He says smiling a bit. 'I left some breakfast in the kitchen for you ok? I gotta go tho'.

-'Ok. I'm not leaving my bed anyway'.

-He chuckles as he leaves.

-A while later someone knocks at your door and you practically crawl there to open it.

-'Hey, I've bumped into these ladies on the elevator. They were asking for you'.

-You look at Hyunjin who's pointing at your friends from work waiting behind him.

-'Oh, okay. Thanks'.

-'It's nothing. Are you okay though? Jisung told me you weren't feeling so good last night'.

-Just as he says that Jisung opens the door to leave the apartment.

-You can see your friend's eyes fixing on him immediately.

-'Oh, Jisung I was just mentioning you'. Hyunjin says as he chuckles.

-'Ah really, why?'

-'Omg y/n is this your boyfriend?' Your friends ask. 'You said your boyfriend was some Jisung right?'

-Fuck.

-You just mentally facepalmed yourself.

-The guys look at you and you look at them. Your face so red.

-Hyunjin chuckles. 'I'm gonna go inside'. He says. 'Bye ladies'.

-But your friends are too busy waiting for your answer.

-'Uhm...'

-'What's wrong baby?' Jisung asks you. 'Just tell them'. He says as he walks towards you.

-His hand on your waist.

-'Uhm, okay... Yeah this is my boyfriend'.

-They let out some squeals. 'Omg, y/n he's cute'.

-'Yeah I thought he was ugly and that's why you didn't show us his picture'.

-You force a small laugh and suddenly feel so dizzy you almost faint.

-But Jisung holds you and carry you inside getting rid of your friends.

-He puts you to bed too.

-'I'm sorry about that'. You say not being able to open your eyes cause you got so dizzy.

-He chuckles softly. 'It's okay. They seem like a lot'.

-'They are. Always trying to fix me up with someone'. You sigh. 'I said your name when they asked for my so-called boyfriend. I'm sorry'.

-'It's okay, there's more people named like me'.

-'I guess but also I was thinking of you as I said it'.

-'What?' He asks.

-But you're so weak you just fall asleep.

-When you wake up a couple hours later you find a post it with a note on it. 'Text me when you wake up'. There's also a number written down.

-'Hey, it's y/n. I woke up'. You text him.

-'Hey girlfriend😉'.

-'Ahh... Stop it😩'

-'😂 So I'm not your fake boyfriend anymore?'

-'I don't know...'

-'I don't think your friends are just letting go'.

-'😩😩😩 I know'.

-'It's okay. I don't mind being your fake boyfriend'.

-'Really?'

-'Yeah but... You may have to do something for me in return'.

-'Uhm... What is it?'

-'Idk I'll figure it out I guess'.

-'Okay? Lol'.

-'Yeah, oh btw Hyunjin knows we're fake dating but dw he won't tell anyone'.

-'Oh, okay. Fine by me. Anyway I'm gonna go grab some food now I guess so... Bye bye~'

-'Bye😊'

-Suddenly you remember Chan left some food for you outside and you go check but you don't see anything but another post it on the fridge.

-'I'm sorry food is gonna be extra cold but I couldn't just let it outside'.

-That one is from Jisung too.

-You smile to yourself. Never thought he'd be that thoughtful before.

-You get some text from one of your friends asking how you're feeling and then to let her know when you're completely fine cause they want to go out on couples date.

-You sigh as you text Jisung about it.

-Then eat something and lie down on the couch.

-A while later someone knocks on your door again and you whine all the way there.

-You blush as you see Hyunjin leaning on the door's frame. 'Hey'. He says and you try to fix your hair a little.

-'H-Hey...'

-'How are you feeling?'

-'Ah.. Better I guess??'

-'Yeah? Would you come to a little party at our apartment tomorrow then?'

-'A party?'

-He nods. 'You're Jisung's girlfriend now, right?'

-'I thought he told you we're just...'

-'He did'. He says not letting you finish. 'But maybe you want to invite your friends here so we have everything under control'.

-'Oh... I see. Yeah'.

-He chuckles softly and your heart flutters a little. 'Well, see you tomorrow then'.

-You nod as you close the door.

-Why didn't Jisung just texted you that?? You look at your phone.

-Oh. He did.

-Anyway.

-Damn Hyunjin. Why did he had to come and see you like that again?

-Not that you like him or anything he's just too handsome.

-You feel bad looking that ugly in front of him.

-You text your friends about the party.

-Also you think about if you should tell Bangchan or not about the fake-dating thingy.

-He probably would think is weird you're dating Jisung for real after all your complainings about the noise.

-Maybe not. Maybe he doesn't even care about it.

-And you don't want a lot of people to know the truth just in case so...

-He doesn't come back till very late at night anyway and you're already pretty much tucked into bed by then so you won't tell him tonight at least.

-You text Jisung as you hear Bangchan trying to get some food before sleeping.

-'Hey, no girl tonight?'

-'Got a girlfriend now🙄'.

-'Not a real one😂'.

-'People don't know that😂'

-'Oh, so you're a nice guy huh?😏'

-'Of course I am😂'.

-You chuckle softly as you read his texts.

-'How are you feeling? Hyunjin said you look better'. He says.

-'Ah, really? I guess I am feeling better'.

-'You're coming to the party then, right?'

-'Already told my friends and everything'.

-'😂 Nice'.

-'Who throws a party in such small apartment anyway?'

-'Lol well, it's not exactly a party just some friends drinking at home while listening to music'.

-'So... A party?'

-'😂 Ok, maybe a very tiny party'.

-You chuckle again.

-'Ahh sorry, wifi is failing a lot. Guess I'll try to sleep now'.

-'K~ Good night then, girlfriend'.

-'😂😂Night~'

-You sleep for what it feels like an eternity and when you wake up you feel so much better.

-Thank god it's Saturday but then again you have to go to a party and pretend Jisung is your boyfriend.

-Could be fun though, right? Why not?

-It's been a while since you had actual fun with other people.

-So as the day goes by you start to feel like actually trying and put on a dress and some makeup.

-Hair looking good too.

-No one would say you were feeling like dying just yesterday.

-Chan looking at you as he hears your heels on the floor.

-'Hey, you're going to the neighbors?' He asks.

-'Yeah'.

-'To see your boyfriend?'.

-How does he know already?

-'What?'

-'I'm just kidding'. He chuckles. 'I always thought you had a crush on Hyunjin'.

-'What? I don't'. You laugh softly. 'He's just like so handsome I maybe can't stop looking at him but that's it'.

-'I see' He chuckles. 'Ah I heard Felix and some of the other guys are going to that party too'.

-'And you?'

-'Me? Nah. I gotta finish some stuff with Changbin. He'll be here any minute'.

-'Are you dating Changbin?'

-He chuckles as he playfully raises his eyebrows.

-'What does that mean?' You ask as you chuckle.

-Then someone knocks on your door.

-It's your friends and their partners.

-'Hey, it's too early? It is too early right?' One of them asks.

-You laugh. 'Yeah, I don't know. I think there's people there already'. You say. 'Hey Chan can I leave my phone etc... here? Would you open the door for me later?'

-'I'm not promising I will'.

-You roll your eyes at him. 'I'll take the keys'.

-'Love you!' He says as you close the door after you.

-'That's your roommate? He's kinda cute too'. One of your friends says.

-You smile at her words as you knock at the guys door and Jisung opens it.

-'Hey'. You say, caressing his face.

-'Hi girlfriend'. He says, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

-He smells so good.

-And what's with the skinship?

-You don't know when you got so close but?

-Well guess it's all part of the fake-dating thing but in any case you feel really comfortable around him already.

-He puts a drink in your hands as he winks at you.

-Hyunjin is sitting on one of the sofas with Felix and Minho and some girls you don't know.

-Jisung's hand on your waist as you distractedly try to follow the conversation. 'You look good'. He whispers in your ear and you blush lightly.

-'Thanks. You don't look bad yourself'.

-He chuckles. 'Thanks'.

-'Anyway, what is this party about really?' You ask.

-He srughs. 'Anything I guess. We just wanted to meet with some friends and drink'.

-'Well my friends seem happy so I won't complain'.

-He giggles. 'They seem to like the drinks at least'.

-'I think they just get kinda bored with their partners sometimes so they drink'. You joke.

-'Wow, we'll have to break up if we ever get that bored then'. He says and you chuckle.

-'Yeah I promise'.

-Someone knocks on the door. 'Oh, I'll get that'. You say as you hand your drink to Jisung and go get the door.

-'Oh, hi'. Seungmin says.

-'Hey! Didn't know you were coming'.

-'Yeah, same. Didn't expect you here'.

-'Right... I'm kinda dating Jisung now'. You chuckle.

-'Really??' He tilts his head as he looks at you head to toe. 'Thats a pity'.

-You throw a confused look at him but he just go say hi to the rest  kinda ignoring you.

-Jisung walks towards you and gives your drink back. 'Do you like Seungmin?'.

-'He's cute'. You say as you sip your drink.

-'I could help you dating him when we break up if you want to'.

-'Really? I don't know I guess I'll be the same amount of anxious then and that's the reason I'm not dating anyone now'.

-'Well, at least you actually like this guy unlike your friend's cousins'. He laughs. ‘Worth trying’.

-You chuckle too. 'Yeah I guess so. I don't know. Let me think about it'.

-The rest of the night goes nicely.

-You sit on Jisung's lap as you all keep chatting and drinking.

-And you get to know him a bit better.

-It's kinda weird how natural actually feels to be on his arms.

-He's just such a warm person.

-You feel safe with him somehow.

-Suddenly you feel his forehead resting against your back and you turn around a little to try and look at him. 'What are you doing?' You ask, chuckling.

-'Sorry I'm so sleepy and drunk'.

-'Go to bed, idiot'.

-'There's too many people here I can't'. He chuckles too.

-'Hmm... Should we go to my apartment then?'

-'What?' He giggles.

-'You just want to sleep right? I know you don't like me like ''that'' '.

-He scoffs but doesn't say a word just pats your thigh a little so you'll stand up.

-You smile at him and hold his hand to leave.

-Hyunjin looks at you two with a confused face as you walk out the door.

-As you walk to you apartment you realize you're a little bit more drunk than you thought.

-Jisung and you chuckle as both of you hardly manage to reach the door without tripping.

-'C'mon open the door already'. Jisung laughs.

-You chuckle. 'I'm tryiiing'.

-Suddenly the door opens and you see Chan standing right in front of you. 'What is happening?' He asks.

-Jisung and you burst off laughing. 'Dad! You did opened the door for me'. You say as you laugh.

-'Omg y/n you're an adult'. Chan laughs.

-'Yeah, so get off my case idiot'.

-'Whatever'. He laughs again.

-'Oh, hey Changbin'. You say as you see him sitting on the couch. He waves at you.

-You enter your room followed by Jisung and clumsily take off your heels and try to unzip your dress.

-'Could you help me with this?' You ask him and he scoffs as he smiles.

-'Sure'. He says as he zips down the dress. 'I didn't know you were like this'. He says.

-'Like what?'

-'I don't know. Not that serious I guess'.

-'Oh... Well, you see, tonight I'm drunk and not having a headache so...'

-'Fair enough'.

-'Oh you didn't bring your pjs'. You say.

-'Ah, it's okay'.

-You put on an oversized shirt as he sits on the bed.

-Then you push him so he'll get under the covers.

-'Take those pants off idiot or you won't be able to sleep'.

-He laughs but does as you say.

-Then you curl up into him.

-'Ugh I'm so drunk the bed is spinning'. He says.

-'Me too'. You snuggle into him a little more. 'Ah, you smell so nice'.

-He smiles. 'Thanks, you too'.

-'Good night Sungie'. You say, leaving a kiss on his cheek.

-'Yeah... Night~'.

------------------------

-'So, Jisung huh?'. Bangchan asks as you prepare some tea in the morning. 'You sure are more quiet that the others'.

-'That's probably cause we were just sleeping'.

-'What? Really? Why did you bring him here then?'

-'I don't know... We were tired and there was a lot of people at his apartment so... Anyway we were too drunk to do anything'.

-'Hm... Yeah he looked terrible when he left earlier'.

-'I don't feel so good myself I'm gonna take a shower after my tea'. You say as you sit. Your phone chimes then.

-'I had fun last night. Wanna come by and watch some movies with me and Hyunjin as we suffer from hangover together?😪'

-You smile to yourself as you read his text.

-'😂 Yeah, why not. Let me take a shower first tho'.

-Like half an hour later you're all tucked in a blanket with those two.

-You had never noticed how tall and big in general Hyunjin is till now that you have him right besides you.

-His hair still wet from the shower. It's dripping some water over his own face which he dries with the towel on his neck.

-He leaves for a second to grab some food and you follow him with your eyes.

-'Thought you liked Seungmin'. Jisung says.

-'What?' You blush. 'I do'.

-'Really? You looked so mesmerized as you watched Hyunjin just now'.

-'That's... His hair was soaking I was watching the water drop'.

-'Sure'. He says with a half smile.

-'Huh... Are you jealous, boyfriend?' You say as you elbow him softly.

-He scoffs. 'You wish'.

-'Sounds jealous to me'. You chuckle.

-Hyunjin is back with some snacks.

-He plays the movie and you don't mention the jealous thingy again.

-That doesn't mean you're letting go.

-Even if you think Hyunjin will never ever put his eyes on you, that's not really necessary to prove your point right?

-So after a while you just lean over Hyunjin's side a bit. Jisung notices but he doesn't seem to care.

-'Are you okay?' Hyunjin asks.

-'Sorry my head hurts a bit. Do you mind if I lean on you for a while?' You ask.

-'Ah, sure. As long as you need'. He says.

-You lean your head on his shoulder and kinda hug his arm.

-He's blushing and you can tell he's kinda nervous.

-Cute.

-Jisung scoffs softly from the other side of the couch and you smile to yourself.

-After a little while you feel how something is pulling from one of your arms. Taking it away from the hold you had on Hyunjin's.

-You look at Jisung with a satisfied smile on your face.

-'Shut up'. He says as he laces his fingers with yours.

-You chuckle softly as you rest your head on Hyunjin's shoulder again.

-Your thumb caressing Jisung's hand as he holds yours.

-And you feel some kind of butterflies as you feel the warmth of his hand on your hand.

-When the movie is over you just don't wanna move but you have to.

-'Do you guys wanna watch another movie or.. some... wine? For our hungover?' Hyunjin asks.

-'Wine sounds good'. You and Jisung say almost at the same time.

-Hyunjin scoffs amused at your synchronization and goes find the wine.

-This time there's no talking between you and Jisung. But he's not letting your hand go either till Hyunjin is back with the wine.

-You take the cup Hyunjin poured for you and take a sip.

-They play another movie but nobody is watching.

-You're just chatting and laughing.

-Your legs over Jisung's after the second bottle is gone.

-His hands running up your thigh keeping just the right distance.

-'Ok, ok. Can I ask something tho?' Hyunjin says, but he can't stop chuckling before asking.

-'What is iiit?' You ask as you hit his arm softly.

-'Why Jisung?' He laughs again.

-'Why Jisung what?' You ask.

-'Why did you say Jisung's name to your friends instead of mine?'

-Jisung just chuckles as he waits for an answer too.

-You blush, but you were already blushing cause of the wine. 'Why would you ask me that in front of him?' You say playfully hitting him again.

-What a drunk mess you three are right now.

-'C'mon tell us'. Jisung says. 'I'm curious too'.

-'Ah... It's kinda embarrassing'.

-'Ohh, you like Sungieee'. Hyunjin sings.

-'What? Is not that'. You laugh.

-'Then what is it?' He insist.

-'Ahh stop iiiit. It really is embarrassing to say it outloud'. You chuckle again.

-'Leave her alone Hyunjinnie. I'm sure she'll tell me sometime'.

-'Hm...' He makes a pouty face. 'Well, you said you don't like him... Then kiss me'.

-'What?' Jisung asks.

-You're just laughing at what he just asked.

-'She's pretty and we're drunk. I want a kiss. C'mon is not that serious. We're just playing around'. He says as he chuckles.

-Is really Hwang Hyunjin asking you for a kiss right now?

-Jisung scoffs. 'Whatever you two just kiss if you want'.

-Hyunjin srughs and leans over you to kiss.

-His lips colliding with yours without waiting any longer. And you thought it'd be just a quick peck but he goes for it for real and he's such a good kisser.

-He pulls away and looks at Jisung. 'Omg. She's the best kisser ever Sungie. You should ask for a kiss too'.

-Jisung scoffs. 'I'm going to bed'. He says as he leaves his cup on the table.

-You look at Hyunjin with a worried face but he looks as confused as you.

-'Uhm... Don't worry he'll be okay tomorrow. I'm sure he's just super drunk'.

-You nod and help him clean up a bit. The alcohol in your body making it so difficult to move properly but the happy feeling was long gone.

-What's with Jisung?

-You were all having so much fun.

-He should have just asked you to kiss him too and that's it.

-You go back to your apartment and get into bed.

-You hit the wall behind you in bed cause you're kinda mad at Jisung for leaving like that and you want him to know.

-Then you hear something.

-You stumble as you kneel in bed to lean over the wall so you can hear better.

-Is Jisung calling your name?

-You blush as you recognize his moans through the wall.

-He's calling your name as he whines.

-He knows you can hear him you've joked about it a couple times before.

-You feel the heat on your lower body as his cute whines fill your ears.

-You bite your lips as you doubt for a second then you run over Jisung's apartment.

-Your knocks on his door. So needy.

-He opens the door to find you wearing literally just an oversize shirt on.

-You look down and bite your lips as you notice his boner.

-Your hand palming him over his pants. 'What is this about?'

-He gives you a half smile. 'I don't know. I think I was mad at my girlfriend and then I wasn't anymore'.

-You bite his lower lip. 'Next time ask for your kiss'. Your body so close to his.

-He pulls you even closer and finally kisses you.

-Then you both walk to his room without breaking the kiss.

-You push him on his bed and climb over him.

-Biting him everywhere. Kissing him like no one ever has kissed him before.

-You take his joggers off.

-His hard dick hitting his own body as you do so.

-And you're so wet already.

-Is like you've been waiting to do this for so long even when all this started just two days ago.

-He doesn't waste any time and just grabs a condom from the nightstand.

-And you just ride him.

-So hard.

-There's nothing holding you back.

-And this time you can hear his moans directly in your ears.

-His hands grasping at your butt as he helps you with the pace.

-And you're so into it. So wet for him.

-You can feel your orgasm building already.

-You bite your  lips not to moan out loud but he wants to hear you, he wants to be praised.

-'I wanna hear your voice baby'. He says. 'Let me hear your beautiful voice moaning out my name'.

-And he's making you feel so good you wouldn't deny him anything.

-You moan out his name as you reach your high.

-He hisses. His fingers going deeper on your skin as he cums.

-He's drooling. His chest going up and down as he tries to catch up his breath.

-You chuckle as you see his fucked up face and kiss him. 'You're so good Sungie. That was amazing'. You say, making him smile. His fingers running down your hair.

-He kisses you again and then you shift to sit next to him.

-His hand resting on your lower back.

-You sigh after a while. 'Guess I should go back and get some sleep before going to work'.

-'Yeah, cause this isn't a bed. It's a pool and you can't sleep in pools'.

-You chuckle as you stand up. Still a bit dizzy cause the wine.

-'You know I came here only in this shirt right? I don't want to go back to my apartment in the morning like this. The guys are always in the hallways'.

-He chuckles too. 'Right'.

-There's a brief silence where you just look at eachother for a second.

-'Let's watch some movies tomorrow too'. You say.

-'Sure'.

-'Well, I really should go now... Bye then Sungie'. You say as you wave him goodbye.

-'Wait, I want a kiss'. He says as he lightly pokes his lips.

-You chuckle softly but kiss him. 'Sleep well you idiot'.

-'I totally will'.

-------------------------------------

-Next morning goes by so quickly.

-You barely slept but at least you're in a good mood.

-Work hours fly.

-Soon you're at your apartment humming some song as you get out the shower.

-'So, Jisung huh?' Bangchan says as you walk to your room. 'I take back the quiet thing. You two were l o u d last night'.

-'I don't know what you're talking about'. You say trying not to blush at his words.

-He chuckles. 'Yeah sure. Hyunjin was so surprised this morning when I run into him that he told me'.

-'Told you what?'

-'He went all like 'dude Jisung told me they were just fake dating but that didn't sound fake at all'.

-'Oh god he did told you'.

-'Yeah, he thought I already knew since we're roomates like them'.

-'Are you mad I didn't tell you? I didn't wanna risk more people knowing'.

-'No, I get it but... Jisung? I guess your friends bought it cause they don't know him'.

-'What do you mean?'

-'Like, c'mon you share a wall with him. He never brings the same girl twice'.

-'So?'

-He sighs. 'You know Seungmin right? He didn't buy it at all and he's telling everyone what he thinks about it'.

-'Whatever, let him say what he wants'.

-'Well if you don't want anyone else to find out maybe you should prepare some kind of break up before this gets any further. Just an idea'. He says. 'Or maybe you could come clean with your work friends'.

-Stupid Bangchan. Why can't he just let you be happy for a while?

-'I'll think about it. But the whole idea was to avoid them to fix me with someone else'. You say.

-'Anyway what was last night about?'

-'I don't know... Guess we were just drunk'.

-'Is that so?'

-'You said yourself he's not the kind of guy to get in serious relationships. Why do I have to think about it that much anyway?'

-'I'm pretty sure you've already thought about it'.

-'Well I haven't. I honestly think he doesn't like me like that. We were joking around about him being jealous but... It can't be. He was probably just horny last night and we get along well that's why he...'

-'He what?'

-You blush as you remember how you heard Jisung through the walls moaning your name last night.

-'Nothing'.

-Chan chuckles. 'Definitively not nothing but ok'.

-You nod still blushing and keep looking for an outfit in your drawers.

-He laughs. 'Ugh, it's so weird seeing you like this. At least promise me you'll let me know if something happens. Good or bad okay?' He says before leaving your room so you can get dressed.

-'I will'.

-Hyunjin opens the door for you today.

-'Hi, you look nice'. He says.

-'Thanks, you too'.

-He chuckles. 'Thanks. Jisung is in the shower. Let's sit'.

-'Oh, okay'.

-You think it's gonna be awkward cause you kissed last night and then he said you're a good kisser etc...

-But it's not.

-He just talks to you like nothing happened.

-'Hey, are you dating Jisung for real now?' He suddenly asks. 'He won't tell me'.

-'Ah...'

-'Hey, you're here already'. Jisung says as he dries his hair with a towel. Rescuing you from Hyunjin's question.

-'Fuck off Jisung'. Hyunjin says as he chuckles. 'We were talking about something'

-'Oh, were you? I didn't notice. But I'm here now so it'll have to wait'.

-Hyunjin sighs. 'I'll go find some popcorn for the movie'.

-Jisung chuckles as he walks towards you. 'Hey'. He says, softly.

-'Hey'. You say, same way.

-'Were you able to get some rest before work?' He asks.

-'Yeah, kinda'.

-'I skipped classes and slept the morning away'. He chuckles.

-'Wow, responsible'. You chuckle too.

-'Ugh are you gonna kiss or something?' Hyunjin asks as he stands before you two.

-'Shut up'. You laugh as you kick him lightly. 'What are you doing with that?' You ask looking at the bottle of wine he's holding.

-'Thought today we could just save time and start drinking early'.

-'Will my liver survive getting to know you two?'

-'It's just wine'. Hyunjin says as he pours some on the glasses.

-You hear the door and Hyunjin goes to see who it is but you can't see from the couch.

-'Hey, it's Seungmin'. Jinnie tells you. You can hear him inviting the other one to stay.

-'Are you drinking wine this early in the day?' He asks as soon as he's in front of you.

-You can't really read Jisung right now and it feels weird not being able to but you decide to just ignore that fact.

-Seungmin sits by your side, taking Hyunjin's place.

-Jinnie pouts knowing he'll have to sit alone in the floor but doesn't say anything.

-'Hey what about if we play a game instead of watching the movie?' Seungmin asks.

-'Not a kissing game'. Jisung complains.

-'You're so boring Jisung, really'. Seungmin says.

-'What? I don't wanna kiss my roommate'.

-'So you'd kiss me?'

-'If I have to...'

-You laugh as you see them arguing about it for a while.

-'I wouldn't mind kissing y/n again'. Hyunjin says interrupting the other two.

-'Again?' Seungmin asks. 'When did you kiss her?'

-'Well, yesterday'.

-'Omg, Hyunjin seriously?' Jisung says.

-'What?? You were there. You knew??'

-'Why would you kiss Jisung's girlfriend? In front of him?' Seungmin asks.

-'Ohhhh....' Hyunjin says realizing the problem with what he said a minute ago.

-You just laugh.

-'What is going on?' He asks again. 'Jisung you don't mind Hyunjin kissing her? Can I kiss her then?'

-Jisung looks at you not knowing what to say.

-'Why would you ask him if you can kiss me?' You ask. 'I'm the one you want to kiss'.

-'Right'. Seungmin says. 'Can I kiss you?'

-This guy.

-'Nope. I've got a boyfriend'. You say, smiling at him.

-'Do you really?'

-'What does that mean?' Jisung asks. 'I'm right here'.

-Seungmin looks at him for a moment and then back at you. 'If you happen to break up with this boyfriend of yours, call me. I'll take you out on a real date'.

-You all look at him in silence cause none of you knows what to say.

-He stands up. 'I'm gonna go. I don't like this movie anyway'. He says, then he leaves.

-'What's with him?' Hyunjin asks as he chuckles. 'y/n you really are stealing every guy's heart around here huh'.

-'What other heart have I stolen?' You laugh and he blushes.

-'Ah, I don't know... I just said that'.

-'Well, Chan told me Seungmin was suspecting about us being fake and that we should break up before my friends find out too. But I don't really think he's gonna do much with something he thinks he knows'. You laugh.

-Jisung sighs and gulps down his wine.

-'Anyway, let's watch the movie'. Hyunjin says.

-This time you curl up into Jisung after a while drinking.

-He softly kisses the top of your head as he caress your shoulder.

-His body so warm and cozy.

-Your head resting on the crook of his neck now.

-You leave a kiss there, fighting yourself with all you have not to bite him or go for his lips.

-And he seems to be having some kind of internal fight too.

-Hyunjin disappears for a moment to go to the bathroom or something. You didn't really heard what he said about it. Then you talk to Jisung.

-'Sorry. I guess I'm being too much right now'. You say as you move away a little.

-'Do you still like Seungmin?' He asks right away.

-You don't know what to say.

-'I guess? He's cute but...'

-'Okay'. He says. 'I'm sorry, come here. I'm still your boyfriend for tonight'. He says as he opens his arms to take you in.

-You don't understand what is going on inside his head but also you're kinda drunk to stop and analyze his words.

-Honestly you can only think about kissing him.

-So you do kiss him once before Hyunjin comes back.

-And he didn't expect it but he's not going to pull away either.

-Hyunjin steps aproaches and you stop to look at Jisung's eyes. Then you leave a couple pecks on his lips.

-'Oh, so you're kissing without me now'. Hyunjin says.

-'Hyunjin just shut up'. Jisung says. Then you all go back to watch the movie and drink the rest of the wine.

-You stop before opening a third bottle.

-You sigh. 'I'm not gonna drink anymore. I have work in the morning'. You say, leaving your cup in the table and going back to Jisung's arms.

-'Yeah, guess I should try to sleep too and actually go to one of my morning classes'. Hyunjin says.

-You chuckle. 'Good idea'.

-'Night then guys'. He says as he takes his cup to his room to finish it there.

-You look up to see Jisung's face so close to yours and he looks down to meet your eyes. 'Don't you have morning classes'. You ask.

-'Maybe'. He says, then he kisses you. 'Don't really feel like going anywhere right now though'.

-You scoff softly and kiss him again.

-One of your legs over his lap now, his hand on your thigh.

-And the last thing you want to do is going back home.

-'Can I stay tonight?' You ask with a soft voice.

-He smiles and pecks your lips. 'You can stay'. He caresses your face. 'Let's go to bed'.

-You follow him to his room. 'Can I borrow a shirt or something to sleep in'.

-'Sure. Take whatever you need from that drawer'. He says pointing to the one besides you.

-You put in a plain black tshirt and get into bed. 'Oh, you're taking off your hoodie? Gimmiee please. It's cold'.

-He chuckles and hands you his hoodie.

-And ah, it smells so good.

-It has Jisung's aroma all over.

-You feel some butterflies as you put it on.

-'You look cute in my clothes'. He says.

-'Thanks. Now come here'. You say opening your arms for him.

-He gets into bed and the kisses start all over again till you're so sleepy.

-'I'm calling in sick tomorrow'. You say. 'I don't want to leave this bed'.

-He puts away a lock of hair from your face. 'Yeah, me too. Let's just sleep forever tomorrow'.

-His husky sleepy voice.

-You fall asleep soon after that.

-And then a couple hours later you wake up suddenly.

-Stupid anxiety.

-You look at your side to find Jisung sleeping so peacefully.

-So you snuggle into him and he hugs you back in his sleep.

-Cute.

-Next time you wake up it's still dark but it won't be for a very long time.

-You try to fall asleep again but then Jisung starts to whine softly.

-You're worried at first but then you see his hand moving to his crotch in his sleep, then you notice his boner.

-You chuckle softly and leave some kisses on his neck and cheek.

-'Jisung sweetie'. You call him. 'Baby wake up'.

-He slowly opens his eyes and looks at you. 'Hey'. He says. His voice SO husky. 'I was dreaming about you just now'.

-You chuckle. 'Yeah? And does that have anything to do with this?' You say as your hand runs to his hard cock.

-He smiles and stretches a little. 'Maybe'.

-You scoff and kiss him softly for a while.

-'I don't think it's going down'. He says between kisses.

-'Yeah I figured'. You say, then you lie in bed and take your underwear off. 'So come here'.

-He lets out a half smile as he makes some room for himself between your legs.

-A tiny soft moan leaving your mouth as he enters you slowly.

-He kisses you before starting moving.

-He hardly stops kissing you actually.

-You're surrounded by his aroma as he fucks you while you wear his own hoodie.

-And his movements are so soft.

-Nothing to do with the other night.

-But you're both just so sleepy.

-The sound of his grunts and little soft noises on your ears.

-You kiss and bite his neck and he hisses.

-And you can't help but to moan softly as he thrust into you.

-Your cheeks blushing knowing everyone is sleeping and there's so much silence.

-Ah.. Hyunjin... Bangchan too... They probably just heard you.

-Jisung smiles as he notices you biting your lips not to moan outloud.

-He shifts the position a bit and now he's hitting your g-spot perfectly.

-'Fuck'. You moan out and you can feel his dick getting harder.

-He lets out a grunt.

-His forehead resting on yours before kissing you briefly.

-The warmth of his body against yours.

-And you like everything he's doing right now so much.

-You're dripping.

-Your hips moving as he pounds into you.

-He quickens the pace and your orgasm starts building.

-You moan his name out showering him with praise.

-And he just loves that.

-You reach your high filling the room with moans and he cums as he watches you melting under him.

-Your phone chimes and after a while you sit up to check on it.

-'Wow, just wow y/n'. That's Chan texting. You laugh as you see his text but kinda blush.

-'Who is it?' Jisung asks.

-'I think we woke Chan up'.

-He chuckles and pulls from your arm so you'd fall on his chest. 'Guess we did huh?' Then he kisses your nose.

-So much lazy kissing after that.

-And you don't want to think too much about it.

-But you can't help doing it.

-Cause it feels just so good lying there just kissing and chatting about every kind of stuff.

-And you don't know how much of this is real or just a part of the fake boyfriend thing that went too far but still just a 'fake' thing.

-It feels so real though.

-Maybe it's just you wishing it being that way.

-Ugh how could you fall into this?

-Your anxiety is laughing at you so hard right now knowing what is coming.

-'Hey, are you okay?' He asks.

-'Huh? Yeah...'

-'You looked so serious just now'. He seems kinda worried.

-'Sorry. I remembered something about work'. You lie.

-'Oh... You have to go?' He sits up.

-'Not really... Do you... Want me to go?' You ask sitting up too.

-'No'.

-'Okay'. You chuckle.

-'Sorry, too serious?' He smiles.

-'Yeah, kinda'. You laugh.

-'Well that's cause I really don't want you to go'. He says coming closer to you. He's waiting for a kiss so you peck his lips.

-'Let's get some breakfast'. He says as he gets out of bed.

-You take a quick shower and meet him again outside to walk to a coffee shop.

-'You sure you're okay just with some coffee and toast?' You ask him.

-'Yeah, it's fine'.

-'Ah, shit I forgot something. Sorry. Wait for me just a minute'. You say as you run upstairs.

-As you come back to Jisung you see him talking to Seungmin but they don't see you.

-'Dude, seriously. Are you dating her for real or not?' He asks.

-Jisung sighs. 'Why are you so interested?'

-'You know exactly why'.

-He scoffs. 'Look, I'm just...'

-'Hey'. You say interrumpting them. 'Sorry for making you wait'.

-'It's okay'. He says.

-'Hi, Seungmin'. You say, then you look back at Jisung. 'Should we get going?'

-'Sure'.

-You hold his hand and start walking again.

-You're shaking so he squeezes your hand lightly and you calm down a little.

-Why didn't you let him finish?

-You had no clue of what he was going to tell Seungmin and still couldn't stand the idea of him saying something remotely close to 'I'm just her fake boyfriend and nothing else'.

-Which by the way it's the only ending to what he was saying that your brain can come up with right now.

-But he wouldn't tell him about your deal like that right?

-He would ask you if it was okay for him to tell Seungmin about it.

-Right?

-'Jisung... What did Seungmin want?' You ask without looking at him.

-'Ah... Nothing he was asking again about us'.

-'What did you tell him?'

-'Jisung?' That's another girl asking. She was inside a store but now she's walking towards you two. 'What the fuck? Who's this?'. She asks.

-'Fuck.. This girl...' He mouths under his breath before she gets there. 'Hey, how have you been?' He asks her.

-'What do you mean? I've been pissed since yesterday'.

-'What?' He looks confused but the girl seems pretty mad.

-'You texted me to meet on the same spot we always met and you didn't appear'.

-'Wait, what? No I didn't'. He looks at you. 'Y/n I didn't. I swear'.

-You let his hand go but don't say anything.

-'Then what is this?' The girl asks showing you both the texts.

-'What the fuck I didn't write those'. He says as he holds the phone to read them better.

-You feel your heart crush. 'I gotta go'. You say as you walk away as fast as you can.

-'y/n wait'. He gives the phone back to the other girl and runs after you. 'y/n I didn't write those I swear'.

-'Leave me alone. I'm so stupid'. You say. Tears falling but you're mad.

-'Don't go just... Please'.

-You stop and turn around to talk to him. 'You know, I think this game of us went too far'.

-'What?' He frowns.

-'We should break up'. More tears falling. 'Then you'll be free to go back to bring girls to your apartment and make them scream your stupid name'.

-He scoffs. 'C'mon...'

-'Is that why you did all this?' You ask him. 'You were needy but couldn't call other girls cause what the others would say about you 'cheating on me' and you thought well, why not? I'll just fuck my fake girlfriend'.

-What

-Are

-You

-Talking about?

-You're the first person to know that's not true at all.

-He looks at you. 'You really think so?'  He asks.

-'I...'

-He seems hurt.

-'Fuck you'. He says. Then he walks away.

-And it hurts so much.

-Just seeing him go.

-But you feel betrayed.

-You saw the texts.

-You had your doubts before about what you meant for him and now your insecurities sky rocketed.

-And even if deep down you feel everything that happened between you two was real.

-Right now you're blinded by your insecurities and how much it hurt to see those texts.

-Your phone chimes after you've walked around the block for a while.

-Bet is Chan.

-But you don't want to go back just yet.

-You're not ready for his questions or meeting any of the guys in the hallways.

-You sit on a bench in a park and finally check the text.

-It's Hyunjin.

-'y/n Jisung told me what happened I'm so sorry but it's my fault. Can you come by when you're back and I'll explain please'.

-'I don't want to go back. I'm at the park'.

-A while later Hyunjin is sitting right besides you.

-'I shouldn't have told you where I was'. You say.

-'Look, I know what it looks like and I'd be mad too but listen to me please'. He begs. He really looks guilty. 'I was texting this girl and you know how Jisung and I went to buy our phones together and...'

-'Are you going to tell me you can't tell your phone from Jisung's? How about the lockscreen and the background picture?'

-'Yeah I know but we're always changing those to eachother as a joke'. He lets out a frustrated sigh. 'Look I realize how much this sounds like bullshit but I swear it's true'. He takes out his phone. 'See? This is the girl I was talking to. It's not the same one you met today but their names are the same and I dated this one and Jisung dated the other one'.

-'But...'

-'Yeah, I texted that one thinking it was the one I was originally texting to cause their names are the same and didn't realize it wasn't my phone cause I was so drunk'.

-You look at him in silence for a while.

-'y/n please I swear. If it wasn't really my fault I wouldn't even bother on talking to you. I would just tell Jisung to fuck off for being a dick and then I'd be a dick myself and try to hit on you after you broke up with him so please?'

-You try to keep a serious face but you chuckle at that last part. 'Ok, I believe you'. You say and he sighs relieved. 'Still I said some mean stuff. I don't think he'll forgive me that easily'.

-'I know but you have to talk to him'.

-'Yeah, I know... I'll try... But... He won't care... We were just fake dating anyway'

-He lets out an annoyed grunt. 'Oh god, I swear you two are the same amount of stupid. I'm leaving'.

-'Sorry'.

-Hyunjin sighs once more and stands up. 'It’s okay. See you later I hope'. He says and you nod as he leaves.

-You're planning to go back home at some point but you just can't leave that bench.

-Your chest hurts with anxiety.

-You really fucked up huh?

-Jisung must hate you for real.

-You texted him you were sorry a while ago and he left you on read.

-The morning goes by and you're still there.

-There's no need to eat right now since you feel like shit and your stomach is just a ball of anxiety.

-You go for a tiny walk in the park and spend some time in a coffee shop but then you're back on that bench.

-Before you can notice it's already night and still you haven't been able to leave that park.

-Then it starts to pour and you scoff as you laugh at yourself.

-Do you even deserve that rain?

-Knowing how much you love it.

-You look up and let the raindrops fall all over you as you close your eyes.

-And it feels somehow healing.

-Even if people look at you as they run away from the rain.

-They may think you're crazy.

-Your phone has been chiming for a while but you're too afraid to check.

-Your hair all drenched after some minutes under that rain.

-But now with your eyes closed and the sound of the raindrops it's the only time in the whole day you're feeling some kind of peace.

-Suddenly you stop feeling the rain in your skin and hear the sound of it hitting an umbrella over your head instead.

-You open your eyes slowly to see a guy's figure in front of you.

-Then slowly look up to see his face.

-You feel your eyes filling with tears as you see Chan's worried look.

-'Channie'. You hug him as you break into tears inconsolably. 'I fucked up'.

-He pats your back. 'It's okay, let's go home'. He says as he holds your hand so you'd walk with him.

-You're still so afraid to go back and see Jisung around.

-But Bangchan makes you feel safer as he talks to you.

-You are about to finally leave the park when you see a guy waiting under an umbrella.

-You stop for a moment before keep walking and he raises the umbrella a bit so you can see his face.

-Bangchan scoffs softly. 'If you were going to come anyway why didn't you tell me?' He asks him. 'I would have stayed home'.

-'It was a last minute decision'. He says.

-Your heart has stopped for a moment.

-Bangchan sighs. 'Anyway. I'm leaving then. Is that okay?' He asks you and you nod.

-You can feel the rain in your skin again as he walks away.

-Your legs don't want to move anyway.

-Jisung closes his umbrella and looks up.

-'W-what are you doing?' You ask.

-'Just experimenting rain your way'.

-'But... You'll get sick'.

-'And you won't?' He asks.

-'I won't. I never get colds or the flu'.

-'That's weird'. He says.

-'Okay, can you just...' You walk towards him trying to make him use his umbrella again.

-He holds one of your wrists so you'd stop.

-You look up to meet his eyes. 'Ok, I'm sorry. Be sick then'.

-He scoffs. 'I won't'.

-'You will but whatever'.

-'Ok, can we just... I didn't came here to fight you'.

-'I'm not fighting you I'm just worried cause you look so weak. I bet you have a fever the minute you're back at hom...'

-He's kissing you.

-His hands on your waist pulling you closer and your arms over his shoulders.

-You have tears falling down your cheeks again but who could tell with all that rain?

-'I'm sorry'. You say as you pull away.

-He shush you. 'I know. And I'm sorry too, okay? I was so hurt at your words but Hyunjin and Bangchan helped me understand better how you were feeling'.

-'Did you have some kind of meeting while I was away?'

-'Kinda. Chris was really worried about you not answering your phone so he came to our apartment to ask if we knew where you were'.

-'Wow, embarrassing. He really is like my dad huh?'

-He chuckles. 'Yeah, guess he is. He told me I should be the one to come get you but I wasn't sure if you'd want me to so I stayed'.

-'But you came'.

-'Well yeah I stayed for like a minute and then I run here'. He says and you scoff softly.

-Then you kiss him and he smiles.

-'So... Can we date for real now? Please'. He asks as he chuckles. 'Before I kill Seungmin at least'.

-You chuckle too. 'You've been wanting to kill him lately?'

-'Please. I fell for you as soon as you walked in my apartment the day of the party and got to know you for real. Of course I've been wanting to fight Seungmin since then'.

-'Idiot'. You say then you kiss him.

-'You know, I actually love when you call me an idiot cause I can perfectly tell you don't mean it at all'.

-He holds your hand and you both start walking home.

-'I mean it a little'. You say.

-'Nah you don't. You know I'm a genius'.

-'My genius boyfriend who would get a fever just to prove a point'.

-He laughs. 'Shut up. You'd do the same'.

-'Right. Ah so genius Sungie. You know me so well'. You say. 'My genius'. You repeat dramatically.

-'Ew, shut up. You ruined it'. He says then he chuckles.

-You laugh too. 'Sorry. Let's get home already and take a shower to get rid of the cold'. You say.

-'Hm, that sounds really nice. Ok, wanna race there?'  

-You start running instead of giving him an answer and he laughs and start running too.

-As you reach the doorway to the building you're breathless and so happy.

-He gets there seconds later.

-You pull from his hoodie and kiss him.

-He picks you up against the wall to keep kissing.

-The rain still falling over you.

-Then the doorman comes out the building. 'Just go inside you're practically home already, idiots'.

-You both laugh and walk inside. 'Sorry'.

-He sneezes as soon as he's on the elevator and you laugh.

-'I knew it'. You say. 'You're sick'.

-'I'm not, shut up'.

-You both leave tiny puddles as you walk with your drenched clothes.

-'Let's go to mine'. He says. 'Hyunjin is at Seungmin's'.

-As you get to his apartment he starts sneezing again.

-'Ah seriously. You got sick'.

-'I'm okay'. He says.

-'Take off those clothes already omg'.

-You get in the shower with him and he looks so dizzy.

-What an idiot. It's just as you said earlier. As soon as he stepped into the building he got sick.

-He kisses you. His hands all over your body.

-But you stop him.

-'Sungie you got a fever we have to get you into bed as soon as possible'.

-He whines and you kiss him. 'I'll cuddle you'. You say.

-He doesn't insist much more cause honestly he really feels sick and just wants you to take care of him even if he won’t admit it.

-You help him get into his pjs and take a shirt for yourself.

-'Aren't you wearing any underwear?' He asks as you tuck him into bed.

-You chuckle softly. 'Yeah, I left those at home Sungie'.

-'Ahh you're killing me. Come here. You said you'd cuddle me'.

-'And I will but let me hang our clothes first so it'll dry okay?'

-'Okay...' He pouts and you leave a peck on his lips.

-You struggle a little to find where to hang your clothes.

-When you're finally back Jisung is asleep.

-You look at him as you smile. Then you sit next to him in bed.

-He shifts to look at you and pulls from you so you'd lie with him.

-His eyes shut and his face is so close to yours.

-You caress his face softly and he opens his eyes a bit to look at you.

-'You okay?' You ask with a soft voice.

-'I love you'. He says and your heart stops for a moment. 'I know it's early to say it but I do'.

-You smile softly. 'I love you'. You kiss him. 'I don't care how early it is. I just feel that way too'.

Fin.

Seungmin’s One Shot ‘Colors’

Blog’s Masterlist

[the-fiction-witch]

NSFW 100 : Newt

1. What’s the dirtiest thought you’ve ever had about a total stranger?

I don’t think of strangers that much… likely the first time I saw y/n and I kinda went ‘ “dam...boobs!”

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW?

At night, while the other boys are sleeping even if it means we have to be a little quieter so we don’t wake anyone else

3. What’s your favourite way to be seduced? 

I don’t need seducing just kinda point or poke me

4. What’s the dirtiest fantasy you’ve had at work?

Well… I had one about bending y/n over a planter while everyone was at lunch 

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance?

No thank you, Alby or Zart either I would you rather not.

6. What do you do when you get horny in public?

Uhh… Usually take my hoodie off and wrap it around my waist so knowone sees any issues that arise.

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom?

Uuuuuuuuuuhhh…. No.

okay maybe once… or twice, before y/n became my girlfriend and she walked around the glade in… shorts.

8. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve thought about while touching yourself?

Being chained in the med jacks, with y/n. 

9. What’s the strangest prop you’ve used to get yourself off?

A pole from the gardens, I am not explaining how I used it!

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused?

It was once the night y/n arrived in the glade I had never felt about sex before I saw her but most of the day I was taking care of her and the other jobs I had to do so by the time I got back in my hammock I noticed it

11. Who gave you your first orgasm?

Me. 

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like?

Like an explosion of repressed urges and tension. Like when you stretch and crack a bone that's been annoying for like a week.

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew?

Nope.

14. What’s your favourite thing about a quickie?

The sneakiness and the fact everyones happy and satisfied before we run off to do whatever we still have to do

15. What the most sexually daring thing you’ve ever done?

Sex on the watch tower… Im still surprised we did that, and that we didn’t get caught

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers?

No! Definitely not. Then again I don’t remember them… so maybe I did

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks?

Well… not strangers. Just y/n. 

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them?

Maybe, if already honry then yeah but again only y/n and even more once I didn’t have to imagine what she was hiding from me anymore just remember what she looks like without her cute clothes.

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Once. In dares, It was minho… not that bad actually kissing a guy better than I expected.

20. What inspires you to make the first move?

Gally did he told me if I didn't he was going to so I had to so I jumped into action and made her a picnic in the woods and I asked if I could kiss her and she said yes from there we were a couple

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed?

It makes your partner happy and satisfied.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn’t help yourself?

No never! I would never betray y/n

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush?

No! Why would I ever want anyone but y/n, plus the only other girl is teresa… she’s nice but not for me she’s attractive sure but i'm not attracted to her plus thomas likes her and I couldn’t do that to him or to y/n

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy?

Y/n cuddling close in my bed and playing with me instead of my hand 

25. What kind of porn turns you on?

I’m not sure what is classed as porn? Is listening to y/n touch herself through her bedroom wall classed as porn? If so YES!

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed?

A couple times but not on purpose sometimes it's just already dark so I can barely see anyway, or when I shut my eyes because I got a little overwhelmed

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner?

Well… she kinda blindfolds me sometimes and ties me up to the bed a little

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

It does so so much especially if she whispered

29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex goddess?

I am very very sure

30. What’s the dirtiest thing someone’s ever said to you during sex?

Properly “I’m going to cum my dirty little girly”

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

By accident yes. Accidently watched minho and thomas having sex in there hammock I didn’t mean to it just kinda happened

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

No! Because that's creepy

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their “third”?

Uhhhhhh no thank you. 

34. What’s the most flattering thing someone’s said about your naked body?

“Your such a beautiful boy” It still makes me blushy

35. When’s the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

Probably last week, they get worse when I’ve been drinking

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

Awkward. There are two girls and sixty boys. I don’t think it would go well. I’d rather just nuzzle in y/ns bed with her let everyone else have the orgy

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

Nope, and I don’t think I’ll ever want to

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

A nice dinner then a snuggle up in y/n’s bed and a sexy night until we cuddle up all night and wake up in the morning. 

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

About half an hour depending what is being done to me

40. What’s the weirdest thing that turns you on?

Stroking, stroking hair and stroking skin just the whole thing in general

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member?

No! Only ever about y/n

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

So many times more times then I like to admit mostly before y/n started fooling around with me

43. When’s the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

Yesterday… y/n was spooning and she kept wiping her butt on me so… I couldn’t help it

44. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you while hooking up?

I may have… cum on y/n’s stomach the first time she let me touch her boobs. That was embarrassing

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

I wouldn’t mind if she wanted me too but I tent to keep it a little bit of a secret that I still touch myself, even if everytime she’s caught me she lets me have sex with her

46. What’s the dirtiest text you’ve ever sent or received?

Y/n sent me a note while I was working that said if I cleaned her room for her she’d suck my dick… needless to say her room was spotless.

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Uhhhh I guess watching y/n shower is kinda amateur porn.

48. What’s your favourite blowjob technique?

A Lot of tongue and a lot of sucking

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

Submissive… she’s better incharge of me

50. Is there anything you won’t do in bed?

Nothing to do with bodily fluids… just ewwwwww!

51. What’s your dirtiest sexual fantasy? 

Being locked up all day and letting y/n do whatever she wants to me for the whole day

 52. How many people have you slept with? 

One. Just my sweet little y/n

 53. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?

The pond in the woods.

 54. What’s your favourite part of Y/n’s body? 

Her boobs.. And of course her personality, but definitely boobs

 55. Have you ever had anal sex? 

No!! And I don’t want to try! We don’t have lube in the glade! I don’t wanna try it will hurt somebody

 56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose? 

My hoodie and her little panties or those tiny little shorts

 57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched? 

My hips I have a weird fascination with being touched and rubbed on my hips

 58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be? 

Somewhere cosy and privet I don’t care where

 59. When did you first had sex? 

After Y/n had been here a year

 60. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had? 

The first time with y/n its the best ever!

 61. What’s your favourite position? 

Being ridden! I love it so much

 62. Have you ever been caught having sex? 

By Zart yes. Twice to be fair we were in the garden shed

 63. Do you watch porn? 

I watch Y/n

 64. What kind of porn do you watch? 

Y/n. I watch Y/n.

 65. How often do you masturbate? 

Twice a day… unless I get some sex

 66. Name a sex position you’d like to try?

Reverse cowgirl! Pleeeease! I wanna try so hard

 67. Do you prefer to give or receive? 

Give! I will give as much as y/n wants me too but if there if an offer to be receiving I will do anything I’m asked

  68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yep in the pond in the woods

 69. What’s the most sex you’ve had in a day? 

Twelve on our day off anniversary

 70. Are you loud or quiet during sex? 

Quiet when we are trying to be sneaky but loud when we wanna make the glade here us

 71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay? 

Never… seems sticky and gross

 72. What’s the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone? 

The personality of course… Boobs help second

 73. Would you say you have any fetishes? 

I like being restrained

 74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go? 

Tieing up, and maybe a little biting but that's about all

 75. What’s your favourite toy? 

Rope.... I like rope a lot

 76. Do you ever read erotic fiction? 

No… but I’m curious

 77. Have you joined the mile high club? 

No But I want to, we have fooled around in the tallest tree we could find but I want more the world will hear us!

 78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands? 

I have… many times. I normally use my mouth 

 79. Would you say you’re kinky? 

Kinda…

 80. Do you enjoy shower sex? 

Yes! I love shower sex! Or shower watching… anything to do with showers I am onboard!

 81. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever masturbated? 

The Garden shed.

 82. Do you like to be spanked? 

Well… Maybe sometimes. 

 83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex? 

No! Of course not! Why would I want to

 84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish? 

I would stop if she wanted too, but normally if I get caught she takes over or finishes me off in another ways

 85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush? 

Not really, just on y/n 

 86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex? 

I cried the first time I was so embarrassed I came so early and because of how good it felt inside y/n but only asleep after

  87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex? 

I love Eye contact so much it feels so nice when you have eye contact

 88. Do you like to kiss during sex? 

Kisses always 

 89. Do you get tired after sex? 

So sleepy once I’ve cum but that's perfect for cuddles

 90. How many positions do you think you’ve tried? 

Most of them I guess

 91. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sex? 

Other then before I lost my virginity, But once we did it the first time after that I think it was about three days

 92. How high is your sex drive? 

Very very high!

 93. What’s a surefire way to turn you on? 

Ask

 94. Sex with lights on or lights off? 

Candles on...

 95. Do you like dirty talk? 

Very Very Very much!

 96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners? 

Long term always

 97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom? 

Bottom!!

 98.Rough or romantic? 

Romantically rough

 99. Quickie or marathon session? 

Marathon all of the day off!

 100. What’s the best thing about our sex life? 

The amazing love of you my beautiful girl. 

[cherryhanji]

i'd rather

oneshot. changbin x reader

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers au, high school au, angst(a pinch only) 

words: 4.5k

warning(s): some swearing, first-person pov

I'd rather... I'd rather keep it than to lose him. I'd rather keep my love than to lose our friendship

"Hey Ms. Bonkers! What are you up to?" Changbin's roared in the whole room.

"Changbin! Lower your fucking voice!" I rolled my eyes earning a laugh from him.

"No, until you'll turn your head when I called you once." He said and stuck his tongue out. Changbin is always a weird friend. But has the nerve to call me a bonkers when I was the sane one. But Changbin is the bestest guy friend I ever had. But there is a secret I decided to hide forever. I like my best friend. No one knows about it since I'm quite good at hiding it. I can say it because no one in our circle of friends knows about it. Except for Minho. Minho is good at observing others and I fucking hate him for that. I'd rather hide it than to lose our friendship. It's hard, I know. Stupid of me falling for my best friend. But sometimes, his actions confuse me and I can't tell if it still defines the actions of what best friends do. I do understand that he cares for me because I'm his best friend for fuck's sake. But sometimes he worries a lot like he was my goddamn boyfriend. Which Minho observed at him these days.

"Changbin likes you." Minho said out of the blue when Changbin left to buy some drinks. Me, on the other hand, tensed at what he just said.

"W-what the fuck, Minho? Are you nuts?" I stuttered because of the rapid beating of my heart.

"I can see it. Look, he's like a mad man when someone messed the fuck up with you a while ago when you're the one who's at fault." Minho cocked his head when he remembered the scene a while ago. Changbin almost punched our classmate just because I accidentally threw his test paper at the trash bin while cleaning. Stupid me. But it's his fault too!

"Well, I explained it to him but he's still at rage about it," I said.

"Yeah, and one more thing, I always caught him staring at you when you're busy or whenever you're looking somewhere else. Changbin likes you." He said and winked at me. I was about to protest when I heard Changbin near us.

"What's the fuss all about?" Changbin said as he hands me my juice. I grabbed it just shake my head at him.

"Hey, Acquaintance party's near. You coming?" Changbin asked me. We don't have that much activity today because of the annual acquaintance party. Teachers and other members of the faculty are busy preparing with the help of the student council.

"Uh, it's boring. But since I know you'll keep on insisting me to come over, I don't have any choice but to go." I sighed in defeat. Changbin always asking me but in the end, it will go on his way. How can I say no to that stupid attractive boy?

"You know me too well, huh?" Changbin said and winked at me. I just rolled my eyes at him.

"Are the others coming too?" I asked him.

"Yep, as always. Chan is also coming with his girlfriend and so as Hyunjin." He said nonchalantly. I hummed in response.

"Y/N." our classmate, Yugyeom called me.

"Oh hey, Yugyeom. Why? You need something?" I asked and smiled at him.

"Uh, just asking if you're coming to the party? I just wanna ask if you wanna go wi-" Yugyeom was interrupted by Changbin.

"She's coming with me, Yugyeom." Changbin smiled and raised his eyebrows at him.

"Oh, I see. Maybe see you at the party?" Yugyeom said and I just nod at him before he left.

"Hey, you don't need to interrupt him. He's asking nicely." I retorted to Changbin who's scrolling on his phone.

"Y/N, we all know Yugyeom likes you. He's making his move." Changbin said.

I stopped for a second at what he said. Is he concern? What? Jealous? Fuck.

"I-I know. But I think there's nothing wrong with it." I said.

"There is, Y/N." Changbin turned his head to look at me.

"What?" I said which made Changbin stayed silent for a while. What does he mean by "there's something wrong"?

"Nothing..." he stands up from his seat and continued, "I, I need to go to the comfort room," he said before he stormed out of the room. Just what the hell is wrong with him? He's just shitting with my emotions and getting my hopes up.

After I showered and prepare myself to sleep, my phone buzzed. I reached for my phone and opened the message that I received.

Since Changbin left my lonely soul in the classroom, I decided to go to the cafeteria and met Seungmin, Felix, and Minho there.

"Yow, Y/N, where's your lover boy Changbin?" Minho nudged at me and chuckled when he saw my annoyed expression. I just rolled my eyes at him and took a bite of my food.

"Shut up, Minho. He just stormed out of the room after Yugyeom asked me about the party."

"Where did he go?" Seungmin asked me.

"He said he'll just go to the comfort room. I think the toilet already swallowed his whole being." I said.

"Wait, you said Changbin just stormed out of the room after Yugyeom asked you right?" Felix repeated what I've said a while ago. I just nodded at him.

The three of us got startled and turned to Minho as if he just discovered something interesting.

"Ah! He's Jealous. Haha! We all know Yugyeom likes you, he's jealous because Yugyeom asked you to go with him to the party." Minho said which made Seungmin and Felix looked at me.

I just looked back at him and shrugged.

"W-why are you looking at me like that?" I said. They just laughed at me like I am some character that just went out straight from a gag show.

"Y/N, can't you see, Changbin likes you. And all of us know that you like him too." Minho said and the two gasped.

"Ah, Yeah yeah. I remember. I knew it!" Felix said and chuckled.

"What?!" I said and turned to Minho who just cocked his head at me. "You bitch. Did you just tell the others?" I said

"Y/N, Minho don't have to tell us about it. We can see it." Seungmin snickered and I just stared at him.

"Fuck. Am I that obvious? Shit. I thought I'm good at hiding it." I said and Minho just shot me an "I told you" look.

"Your in love ass is showing how much you like Changbin. And so as for him. You two are just blinded by the fact that if you guys confess it to each other, it might lose your friendship." Minho said and the two just nod in agreement. I just covered my face with my two hands out of frustration.

"I hate you all!" I retorted at them and they just laughed at me. I hate them.

from: Seo.

hey, still up? just wanna say sorry about me being an ass from a while ago.

it's from Changbin. I smiled while staring at his message. he's so sweet as hell.

to: Seo.

It's okay. even though u left me at the room wondering why u just stormed out. Are u jealous?

I deleted that message immediately. Change. Not this one. What the hell am I thinking?!

to: Seo.

it's fine. by the way, where did you go? Minho Seungmin and Felix are looking for you too from a while ago. I'm with them at the cafeteria.

from: Seo.

Uh, I just went to Chan's building and talked to him a bit. Sorry I didn't go home with you. I'll make it up to you tomorrow.

to: Seo.

I said it's okay. But treat me something tomorrow, okay?

from: Seo.

sure bonkers. goodnight. Dream of me.

to: Seo.

Hell no, it's a nightmare if I dream of you. Good night.

"Y/n, dear. Wake up. Changbin's here." I heard my mom waking me up using Changbin's name. -what?! Changbin?!

"Changbin? Why the hell is here?" I said and immediately sat down on my bed.

"Maybe to walk with you to school?" Mom said nonchalantly.

"Mom... Please tell him I'll prepare now." I said, starting to get ready.

"Okay dear, he's now eating so better hurry!" She said before closing the door of my room.

"Y/N," Changbin called me when I went to the kitchen.

"Oh, hey." I nod at him and sit down at the chair to eat.

"I said I will make it up to you, right?" Changbin said and smiled at me. It's still early in the morning to make me blush, Changbin! This brat.

"B-but you don't have to walk me to school," I said

"It's okay. Besides, I missed your mom's cooking." He said and smiled at my mom.

"What a sweet boy you are, Changbin. If only you’re y/n's boyfriend, I'm no against at it." She said and winked at him. He just smiled awkwardly. My eyes grew wide at her.

"Mom! What are you saying?" I told Mom and she just shrugged.

"Why? As if I said he's your boyfriend. I just said "If"." She emphasized the word IF. yes, mom. If only. I just mumbled out of frustration and continue eating.

"So what do you want to do later?" Changbin asked me while we're walking to school.

"Uh, what do you mean?" I asked.

"Uh, I mean what do you want me to buy for you? Or anything you want to do?" He asked

"Ah, I just want to do nothing. You know what, just control your anger and don't be an ass, okay?" I smiled at him pinched his arms.

"Oh, Changbin. I didn't know you're working out. So firm huh," I said and pinched again his arms harder this time.

"Ouch! Hey! Stop!" He said and tapped my hands away from his arms.

"Why? It's so satisfying, you know. I didn't know I have a friend who's this muscular." I attempted to pinch his arms when I heard someone called us.

"Changbin! y/n!" Chan ran towards us.

"Oh hey, Chan! What's up?" I asked him and gave him a high five.

"Doing fine. How 'bout you? I heard you're also going tomorrow?" I nod at him and pointed to Changbin

"Yes. Because your annoying friend keeps on insisting me so.." I just shrugged at them. Chan nodded and turn to Changbin.

"Hey, Changbin, the boys want to talk later," Chan said. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"For what?" I curiously asked Chan and Changbin retorted.

"Uh, it's just for Hyunjin," Changbin said. I looked at Chan who is looking half-surprised.

"Uh, yes yes. We're going to help Hyunjin for something. I need to go! See you, bro, see you y/n!” I nod at him before he left.

"Let's get inside?" Changbin offered and I nod.

"I'll just wait for you here," I told Changbin and he just stared at me.

"You sure? You know you can go home." He said and I just nodded at him and pushed slowly.

"Yes, yes. Don't mind me. I can wait. Go now." I said to him and I just sat the bench in the cafeteria. What could be they're talking about? Ugh. Me and my curious ass.

Scrolling on my phone, I heard a voice calling me.

"Y/N!" Wendy, Chan's girlfriend called me.

"Hi, Wendy!" I said and tapped on the chair beside me asking her to sit down.

"Excited for tomorrow?" She said happily.

"Uhm, sort of. You know if it weren't for Changbin, I really won't go. But you know he's such a crybaby. He'll whine until I agree to go." She just nodded at me and smiled.

"Anyway, you also waiting for them?" I nodded at her.

"Me too. I wonder what they're talking about. Chan won't tell me about it." Wendy said and pouted.

"I think it's a boy's thing tho. We don't know." I just shrugged at her.

"Ah yes, we need to go, see you tomorrow at the party!" We bid our goodbyes and left the others.

After an hour of waiting, the boys finally finished and went to us.

"Oh hello there girls!" Hyunjin said and waved at us.

"Wendy! I didn't know you're waiting for me." Chan said and went to her girlfriend.

"And there you are, Y/N! "Minho ran to me and pinched my nose which made me wince at the slight pain.

"Ouch! Minho! Get your fucking hands off me!" I said and tapped his hands away. Minho just laughed at me and release his arms on me.

"Stop that, you're like kids!" Seungmin said and Minho just rolled his eyes on him. Seungmin stuck his tongue out to him.

"Guys, we need to go. Y/N needs to go home early." Changbin said and grabbed my bag.

"So what time are we going tomorrow?" I asked Changbin.

"The party starts at 6. So 5. Is it okay?" He said and I just nod at him.

While walking, I can feel Changbin's uneasiness. Is he okay?

"Uh, Changbin, are you okay? Are you hurt?" I stopped walking and held his wrist. Changbin tensed when I put the back of my hand at his forehead.

"You seem fine. Is there anything bothering you?" I asked him.

"Sorry, uh. I'm just thinking something.. I'm okay. Don't mind me." He smiled at me and continue walking. What is wrong with him? Did I do something again?

"Hey!" I quickly ran so I can follow him.

from: Seo.

Hey, I'm in front of your house now. You ready?

Already?! This boy isn't that excited, huh? It's 20 minutes until 5. I'm still here, searching for a decent outfit to wear.

I sent him the text and rushed to my closet. There's nothing so special in my closet. Lots of jeans, mostly tattered, and simple shirts. I keep on looking for some unique clothes that I haven't wear on the Acquaintance parties in previous years. My eyes twinkled at the casual dress at the back of my messy closet. Is it okay to wear a dress in an Acquaintance Party? I mean isn't it weird? I usually see other girls wearing super girly outfits like cropped tops something revealing or whatsoever. 

to: Seo.

I'm nearly done. Just ring the doorbell, Mom's there.

I just shook my head to erase the unnecessary thoughts on my head. Thinking I don't have enough decent outfit to wear, I grabbed the dress outside the closet and decided to wear it. It's not too long, but not too short either. It's a blue dress that has sparkling outlines on the hem and falls under my knees. I grabbed the white sandals that go very well on every outfit. I put some blush and a light lipstick to add some color on my dull face.

Now all done, I went downstairs to find Changbin on the couch peacefully scrolling on his phone. Wearing a flannel with a gray shirt in it and a pair of jeans. God, he looks so fine. He lifted his head when he felt my presence in front of him.

"Uh, wow. I didn't know you own a dress like that. I usually see you wearing a casual shirt and a pair of jeans." He stands up as he observes my look and chuckle.

"H-hey! Of course! It's just that I don't usually wear this kind of outfit. You.." I pointed at his outfit. "You look good," I said. He smirked and cocked his head smugly.

"Of course. It's because my name is Seo Changbin." He said and pose like he's in some kind of photoshoot. I just smacked his arms because of his smugness.

"Mom!" I ran into the kitchen to find her.

"Yes, dear?" Mom answered

"Uh, we need to go. See you later?" I said and Mom nodded. She kissed me on my forehead before she called Changbin.

"Changbin! Make sure that my daughter will go back home still with her complete body, alright?" Mom joked and Changbin just nodded and smiled at her.

"Yes, Ma'am. I'll make sure of it." Mom just nodded and told us to go now.

"Ah, I don't know with them. Instead of asking, help me get some punch at the food area." Minho said and pulled me to the food table. I just signaled the guys to wait for us.

The loud EDM music can be heard outside the venue. Many students coming in and out, some are standing at the side, maybe waiting for their friends or classmates to arrive. As I take a look at the venue, I saw Chan and the others outside. I waved at them and turned to Changbin.

"Hey, there they are. Let's go?" I said to him and he just nodded.

While waiting for Minho who's still getting some drinks, I heard someone called me at the side.

"What did he said?" Minho asked me while we walked back to our place.

"Here's the drinks!" Minho placed the drinks on the table and I did the same.

In the middle of the talks and catching ups, Chaeryeong suddenly asked me.

"Hey! Seriously? Where are we going? Changbin!" I said when he pulled me outside the venue and stopped when we reached a dim area where there are no other people except us.

"I like you too, Idiot. Who said I don't like you?" A smile lingered on his face as he heard me. Out of excitement, he hugged me tight and swayed me.

"Hey, are you happy?" I asked him out of the blue while walking back to our house. It's almost midnight when the party ends and we decided to go home immediately.

[youmademe-stay]

lee know/minho x (y/n) oneshot

I felt the buzz of my phone from my pocket and sighed. I am never going to get any work done if I keep getting messages from people. "I'm too famous," I think to myself as I place my paintbrush down and take my phone out of my pocket

'let's see who -' I say out loud to myself as I unlock my phone before I realised what the message is for I can't believe this My Uber Eats guy cancelled my meal It takes me a minute or two to understand this, but when it fully hit me it hurt even more than when I came home and sat on my bed and found an open red tube of paint underneath my covers. He is never cancelled on me... I've known him for 3 days, I thought this was going to last forever I sigh, before putting my phone back into my pocket and picking my paintbrush again. This is why my mother taught me to be independent - you can't trust anyone.  

 I stroke the paint onto the canvas lightly and move my wrist ever so slightly once a stroke is done and a new one begins, to get the perfect look of the wind. this painting was meant to inspired by the weather, but now that's it's been a few hours since I started it, it's beginning to remind me more of my bedroom on a bad day

 I put the paintbrush down again and stretch my arms. I feel the buzz of my phone again and use one hand to take it out of my pocket again, leaving the other suspended in the air. I swear to god Uber Eats if you don't find me a new guy I - 

 I stop complaining and freeze. then let my other arm fall to my side. then smile.

 "babe it's time" I read for the third time in a row. it's time? seriously - he made me wake up at 6 in the morning and now it's fine?!

 "okay. on my way" I message back before putting the phone down and rushing to my bed, where my outfit of the day is already laid out. I change out of my black painting slacks into a white jumper crop top and leggings, with a pair of jeans overalls over the leggings. as I take my hair out of my lazy attempt at a messy bun and brush it with a comb, I hear the phone buzz a few more times from where I left it.

 i slip my socks on as well as my birthday bracelet before walking back to my desk and picking up my phone and unlocking it

 "it's okay, take your time"

"Actually, don't take your time, I'm very emotional right now"

"Actually, just hurry up. I feel like killing jisung right now. we're sitting on your patio"

I couldn't help but smile. god, as much as I deny it when he says he is, he can be so cute sometimes. I rush out of the room with my backpack and towards the front of the house, quickly slipping on some converses before opening the door, seeing the backs of two grown men sitting on my patio, smiling at the both of them, and locking the door

 I assume at the sound of the lock, they realised I was actually behind them because when I turned around after locking it they were both facing me, one with a cardboard box in his arms and another with a cheesy grin on his face

 '(y/n) noona, why did you have to come so soon, i wasn't done annoying hyung~' jisung teased as he approached me with his arms open. i threw my bag into his arms and instead of hugging him like he expected, grabbed one of his cheeks with my thumb and forefinger, like how my mother did, forcing him to turn around

 'my boyfriend is not the type you can tease, is that understood Mr. Han jisung?'

 'ah, noona, please~' he whined in a slurred voice. I let go of his cheek and patted it lightly before taking my bag away from him

 'I mean, you can tease him, but only when I'm there, so I can help'

 jisung laughs loudly at this, much to my amusement. it's great to remember how hilarious I am sometimes...

 'you're not funny ((y/n))' Minho mutters in an annoyed voice. damn it. I forgot he could practically read my mind

 'I actually am though, dear boyfriend'

 'you're actually not though, dear girlfriend' he mocked back. on a normal day, we probably could have kept arguing for hours on end, but luckily, he had reminded me so much about this day before it happened that, I knew today wasn't the day to argue with him

'I’m going to leave now (y/n) noona. take care of hyung, he's a bit sensitive because of "you know what"' he winked at me and smiled cheesily again before jumping off the patio and off my front lawn.

 when he reached the end of it he turned around and shouted, 'he's probably on his period!' before immediately running

 'i feel so bad' Minho sighed as he moved closer to me. i put my backpack on and tried to take the box from him, but he shrugged my offer off and just kept looking into my eyes

 'I’d hug you right now, but...' 

 'it's okay' i smiled, 'i know it's tough for you, so the hugging can happen later'

 'the first house is about 5 minutes away from here, and the others are close by. that's why i didn't bring the car'

 'okay'

 'and also because...' i could tell what he was about to say, but i didn't interrupt anyways. it's not right to interrupt a normally emotional - less person, especially on a day like this. 'i want to spend as much time with them as possible'

 i glanced at the box and noticed the little holes at the top. around each hole was some sort of scribble, which i assume was meant to be the name of each kitten. i couldn't help but smile at this.

 'what?' he asked in a sad voice. he must've noticed me smile, since he isn't even trying to look directly at the box

 'it's nothing. let's go' we made our way off the patio and as we walked to the first house, i kissed my first two fingers and pressed them against his cheek

 'I'm sorry I can't kiss you right now. it's not like I don't want to, I just...'

 'it's okay, i understand mama Minho'

 on an average day, he would've rolled his eyes at this old nickname, but today instead he smiled weakly and shook his head

 'I'm going to miss being called that'

 'I mean, I'm the one who called you, it. the kittens didn't really understand how to speak'

 'yeah, but they gave the name, purpose'

 'well, you still have jisung right? just adopt him'

 i watched him carefully as his sad face changed into one of disgust, prompting both of us to laugh out loud. even though I can't stop him from being in his feels today - not that I'd ever do it anyway - I'm glad I can be with him to get through them

 we arrive at the house and stay at the door as the couple who live there open the box Minho was holding for so long and carefully take out two baby kittens. it took me a while, like 1 or 2 weeks, but when they were newborns I was taught each of their names, and even though I didn't see much of its point before, I'm so glad I did now

 'that's Mini, the girl' I told the lady, and then to the man, 'and that's blueberry, the boy'

 'please take care of them' Minho added in a low voice.

 the couple promised that they would, and after some friendly small talk, we left to go to the next house

 'i shouldn't be this sad' he suddenly said once we started to walk again.

 'what do you mean, it's completely okay to'

 'but I'm on the verge of crying when I haven't even known these cats for more than 2 months'

 'and? who said 2 months is a short time? it's quality, not quantity, and you spent every minute breathing with them, Minho. you have every right to be in your feels right now'

 'I guess that's true' he sighed. I glanced at the box and felt an urge to take it from him and hold it until we got there, but it didn't matter since we arrived there a lot quicker than I realised

 we made our way to the front of the house, made small talk with the parents and the little kid to whom Pringles the kitten was going to, before leaving. there were only a few cats left, but I could feel his sadness growing and I was at this point, running out of ideas on what to do to make him feel better

 'so, how're your paintings going?' he suddenly asked. thank you, god, for giving me a boyfriend who can read my mind, and instantly know when my awkwardness spikes

 'they're going good'

 'going good? don't you mean, going well?'

we made eye contact and I smiled and rolled my eyes at the sight of his cheeky smile. 'listen, i took art as my career because as much as my parents wanted it, there was no way i was going to take literature when i can't even speak right'

'you mean speak correctly?'

 'if you weren't holding the box I'd punch you' i warn as he laughs.

 'so, what were you doing before I messaged you'

 'nothing much, just finishing a painting for my gallery'

 'are we all still invited after...' 

 I look over at him and sigh, nodding my head. 'even though you destroyed one of my paintings by replacing all the eyes with printouts of all your ugly faces, you're all still invited. I need someone to be there to distract my parents from lecturing me'

 'should I ask my parents to visit?'

 'depends on whether or not they're okay with talking about marriage with mine'

'oh, I think they'll be fine with that. my mother still questions why I decided to be an idol when i can be 24 with a housewife and 2 kids at this point'

 now it was my turn to laugh. 'parents really think just because we're out of school and earning money, we should use that money on marriage and kids'

 'yeah. I want to settle when you're ready to settle'

 'yeah same, i - what?!' 

 I stopped walking and stared at him as he turned around and smiled at me.

'you're kidding right?' 

 he shook his head. 'have you never thought about us getting married one day?'

 I mean....of course I did. but I thought I was the only one

 'Yeah, but...how can you be so confident about it? shouldn't you be saying "when my fiancé is ready"?'

 'in my eyes, you're already my fiancé' he admits, in a weird yet cool way

 at this point, I'm stuck between wanting to punch him and being starstruck. like, god Minho, way to be straightforward. 

 'i can see why your fans like you, Mr. straight-to-the-point' i try to say without mixing up my words and looking dumb, 'c'mon, we need to get to the next place'

 I grab his arm and proceed walking, even though he's the one out of the two that knows where the next house is

 'After we're done, let's go to your place' he says after a bit of silence. I don't say anything and just nod. but then i take it in and realise what he said

 'why not your place?' I ask

 'it's a bit messy right now. had a struggle getting all the kittens together this morning'

 'oh, okay'

 'you still have some of my clothes, there right?'

 I glare at him and smack his arm and hard as I can, but not so hard that the remaining kittens feel it through the box

 'weirdo. yes, I do, but they're mine now' I state loudly and clearly, ignoring the people around us that saw me smack him

 'just like how you're mine huh?'

my jaw drops a little as I look into his eyes and this...revolting statement. god, if he sleeps over today, I'm going to have to listen to this jisung - level cringe for.....how long??

 'oh yeah. if you think that was cringe, I got a whole lot more coming up' he said as he nudged my elbow with this. 'you can thank jisung and changbin later for all the inspiration they gave me'

 #a few hours later#

 'can i put this here?'

 i turn around and see him place the box down on the sofa. as much as I’d appreciate it to go in the recycling, there's no way i can say it to him, so i nod and walk up to him, looping my arms around his waist as i rest my head on his chest and snuggle into it

 'it's been a long day' I say in a low voice. 'and I'm really proud of what you did. all those kittens will get the love and care they deserve Minho'

 'but what if they don't?'

 'then we'll take them back. i will attack the owners for not caring for them, and you take them, and we'll raise them here' I look up at him and smile. he smiles back, and despite it being a little bit fake, i take it and kiss him on the lips

 'What did I do to deserve that?' he asked after the kiss.

 I laugh and respond with, 'not much, but since today your inner mother is a bit hurt, I'll be nice to you. go ahead and wash up and I'll make something for us to eat'

 'don't you want to finish your painting?'

 'well, are you going to stay over tonight? is your schedule for tomorrow busy?'

 he looked away from me and thought about it, before looking back down and shaking his head.

 'well, that's good. when you sleep, I'll finish the painting off. so, from now until midnight we can do whatever you want'

 'and what if I don't sleep?' he asked with a smile that I know and have seen too much of.

 'then I will give you sleeping pills and make you watch literal paint dry until you do' I smile back as I unloop my arms and begin to make my way to the kitchen. ha take that Mr. I - know - I'm - sexy - when - i- do - this - smile. you just got served...

 whilst he went off to wash up and be weird, i stripped out of my overalls, leaving just my crop top and leggings on, and got out the ingredients for some pasta. thankfully, out of the two of us, I'm the better cook, so I'm not always desperate for his food - unless Chan made it - and I'm never starving.

 once I finish the prep work for the pasta and it's in the water, I go over to the freezer and take a frozen cake out as well as a tub of ice cream. this is all textbook breakup food, but since he let go of his "children" today I think that the food gods will allow an exception.

 i leave the cake on top of a plate in order to defrost along with the ice cream and go back to the pasta, doing all the things i need to do before i can take a break and check up on Minho

 'it's pasta day?' i suddenly feel two hands on my hips and his sharp jaw rest on my shoulder. jheez, this guy reads my mind too much these days...

 'not only pasta but cake and ice cream day!'

 'you want me to eat all of them together?'

'well if you want, yes. me, on the other hand, will enjoy them all separately'

 he chuckles and hugs me tight, mumbling, 'I’m sorry for being a mess today...'

 'it's okay' i say in a low voice

'this was the first time i had to do this and...it felt right, but wrong at the same time. i felt like i was giving a part of myself away each time one of them left the box'

i open my mouth to respond, but then close it without saying anything. in these times, it's better to let him say it all out so he can get it all out of his heart

'and yeah, i know that now each family will be happier, but those kittens reminded me of when i got my first ones....and when i was younger and more carefree too'

 'those kittens gave me time to distract myself from everything. work, social life, stress. all of that. and i....god (y/n) look!'

 my eyes enlarge as i realised that the water in the pot was overspilling. i let go of his hands I’d been holding onto as he spoke and lowered the flame and put the lid on the pot, allowing the water level to lower a bit

 'sorry, i was listening to you and - '

 'no, I’m sorry. I’ll help defrost the cake and ice cream, so you don't get distracted'

 before i could say no i felt his arms leave my sides and suddenly felt too cold. i watch him as he took the cake and placed it in the microwave and put the setting "defrost" on before opening the ice cream tub, getting two bowls out with spoons and forcing the still - frozen ice cream into the two bowls.

 once he finished, he closed the tub and put it away and picked up the two bowls and walked to my room. i guess he isn't in a movie mood then.

 once he's out of my eyesight, i continue making the pasta and getting it tasting just like how he likes it. i get two wine glasses out and fill them with sprite and ice -cubes, and take the cake out of the microwave.

 as the pasta is finished and i begin to put it all in a large container for the two of us to share, he comes back and takes the wine glasses

 'fancy a bit of the bubbly sir?' i ask in my best British accent. my heart warms as i see his blank face break into a smile as he replies in probably the worst accent I’ve ever heard,

 'if the madam wants it, the madam shall have'

 he leaves and i take the container and the cake to my room and - 

 'Minho!'

 how i didn't drop the food I’ll never know.

 he...somehow (?) cleaned up my room, made the massive pile of laundry near the window disappear and had my laptop sitting on top of my bed table, with the wine glasses on either side of the laptop and the ice cream bowls next to the glasses

 'i put your clothes in a bundle, so you can not trip up when you bring the real food in' he smirks as he snuggles into his side of the bed. i made my way towards the bed table, place the cake on my side and the pasta on his and sit down, giving him a kiss on the cheek immediately after

 'you didn't have to tidy up, but you did. so thank you'

 'you're so cute'

 I scrunch my nose at this remark. 'not as much as you think, but let's not argue in front of the food. c'mon, what d'you wanna watch?'

 'I don't mind anything. you can choose, YouTube, drama, a variety you name it'

 we ended up watching Knowing Brothers, one of my favourite shows now and enjoyed the food as we went through a random selection of episodes, and although he did laugh some of the time, most of the time he just sat back and had his arm around my waist and stayed silent.

 eventually, he did what I thought he'd do and lie down and pretend to go to sleep. he didn't nag me to put the food away or to make the videos quieter - he just went to "sleep". as he "slept" I quietly packed the food away and put each thing on the floor one by one, before closing the laptop and putting it and the bed table away too. once it was all gone, I shut the lights and lied down too, snuggling my face into his back and my arm around his middle

 in the silence, I felt his hand touch mine and held it tightly. he started to quiver a little, and I could tell it wasn't because he was cold. I said nothing as he cried, and waited until he turned around and let me hug him to speak

'it's okay Minho. I've got you. it's okay' I kept whispering as I stroked the back of his head.

eventually, he stopped crying and shaking, so I assume that meant the crying tired him out and he fell asleep.

 'I love you Minho. and so, do the kittens. and so, do Soonie, Doongi and Dori. and so, do all your fans and members and family...I'll accept you as a mean old grandpa, a weird on-drugs uncle, a sarky homosexual boyfriend to jisung, and as a caring and sensitive person. you can always cry to me, and I'll always be there to hug you' I whisper as tears fill up in my eyes. every word, I mean from the heart, and if he was awake right now, he'd know since he always knows what I'm thinking or feeling

 suddenly, his arm went around my waist as he hugged me tight and said, 'i love you too'

 god damn, he's a good actor. although i feel a bit annoyed that he heard all of it, I’m more glad than annoyed. 

 'i love you and want to grow old with you'

 'i love you and want you to be my fiancé'

 'i love you and want to be your wife'

 he moved his head back and has the funniest look of surprise, excitement and confusion written all over his face

 'what, did you think you were the only one who thought about marriage?' i joke, my heart beating like crazy at my confidence

 'no but, does this mean...'

 'yes Minho. i accept your lame ass proposal from before. now, let me say now i don't want to marry soon - '

 before i could finish my sentence he pulled me closer and we kissed. very deeply. i almost forgot, during the kiss, what we were talking about before it.

 a minute or maybe two passed before he moved back and let air enter both of our lungs

 'i will marry you whenever you're ready, and if you're never ready then i will stay by your side as all those things you mentioned - as an grandpa, a drugged uncle whatever you want'

 'Minho...i - '

 'and today wasn't my intent to propose - i actually had so much planned and - '

 'Minho - yah'

 'yes ((y/n))'

 'i love you'

 'i... i love you too'

 and that's when i saw it. today's first, full, genuine smile. 'can we kiss again?'

 'if that' what madam wants, that's - '

 I kissed him before he ended the sentence. god, I need to tell him soon that...if we are getting married one day, he'll have to promise me in the wedding vows, to never use that accent again

[wronqness99]

Just The Way You Are

> About my writing

Genre: Comedy, fluff, slight angst

Word Count: 2K+

Characters: Lee Taemin (SHINee) X Female Reader

Requested by: @jesusagrees

*The image doesn’t belong to me, credits to the owner.*

"Yah, Lee Taemin, your girlfriend is endangering her life again," Kibum said retrieving a bottle of water from the fridge and making his way back to the living room, sitting beside the boy on the couch.

"I'm good!" Y/N screamed from the kitchen before a loud crash was heard.

Taemin's head shot up in that direction, his body jumping from the couch, completely forgetting the Overwatch face off he was having with Minho.

Running into the kitchen, the boy found his girlfriend sitting on the countertop with her legs held up to her chest and countless shards of a broken bowl scattered all over the floor. The boy's worried eyes scanned his girlfriend's body trying to make sure she wasn't hurt.

"Are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere?"

She shook her head, feeling embarrassed.

Taemin sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking back at her. She laughed awkwardly.

"Oops...?"

The boy chuckled and shook his head, getting a mop so he could get rid of the sharp glass. After cleaning up, he made his way towards his girlfriend, pulling her towards the edge of the counter and hugging her waist.

She bit her lip and smiled, legs dangling from the counter as she pulled him in, placing a sweet kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you, baby. If it weren't for you I'd probably be dead," she joked, making them chuckle.

"Yeah, I second that!" Jinki screamed from the living room, making the other members laugh.

Taemin rolled his eyes and caressed Y/N's cheek, smiling brightly.

"Don't worry, I will always be here to save you," He stated in a warm tone as he kissed her soft lips passionately.

"How about you guys stop the lovey dovey share of affections and go sit on the couch so we can start movie night, huh?" Kibum questioned from the kitchen door he leaned against, arms crossed.

Taemin rolled his eyes and turned to him, before speaking.

"Hyung, I hope you fall on live TV during your next schedule," The youngest stated making both the older man and his girlfriend laugh.

He turned around so the girl could get on his back and carried her to the couch. Y/N snuggled to Taemin's side as he looked at his girlfriend fondly, a small smile making it's way to the corner of his lips. Ruffling her hair, he pulled her closer towards him, getting comfortable for their movie night. The girl smiled, hugging his middle tighter in appreciation.

Lee Taemin's girlfriend had always been clumsy. Sometimes she wondered how he could endure all her messes without getting mad at her even once. Every time they met they both knew something was bound to happen. In the period of their four year relationship, Taemin had seen a lot.

On the very first night he sneaked her to sleep at his house, she tripped over herself and banged her head on his nightstand on the first five seconds of being there. They were lucky nobody woke up. There was also the time when they decided to tell the world about their relationship and the man took her as his plus one to their first outing as a couple, an award show where Taemin had been nominated for best dancer and best MV, and when they were walking down the stairs, hadn't Taemin been by her side and held her, Y/N would've fallen face first on the floor and probably broken her nose... or her neck. And her legs. And maybe even her arms. That was her first ever on camera embarrassment, she still remembered how Taemin had laughed in her ear and said to the paparazzi how he should add high heels to Y/N's death hazard list. Y/N was so red with shame she promised herself to never wear heels again. At the after party that same day, while hand gesturing when speaking with Seulgi, Y/N had accidentally grazed her boyfriend's crotch, creating a very painful and uncomfortable situation for him. Thankfully, no one had noticed it and they were able to cover it for a while before Taemin decided to drag her to the bathroom and have her help him with the problem she had created herself.

Taemin could never forget how she had lit her hair on fire in the candles while trying to reach over the table to kiss him when he asked her to be his girlfriend during a romantic dinner he had put a lot of thought into. Thankfully he had water on hand and the situation was handled smoothly, without anyone getting hurt. Tripping on her own feet was pretty much a daily occurrence, as well as the bruising on her skin. And there was also the casual nail polish he would find spilt on his bedsheets whenever she decided to paint her toenails over at his dorm.

Taemin knew his girlfriend was very clumsy, but it was her clumsiness that brought life and adrenaline to each of his days. Minho would always joke that he was finally getting the chance to be the superhero he wished to be when he was a child. For Taemin, however, the whole purpose of loving someone was to love them despite their flaws. Because he knew he had his, too, but they completed one another. They balanced each other out just fine and he was sure Y/N was his person. She was the one he was set on loving for the rest of his life no matter what obstacles they would have to face to be able to do so.

The man got awoken from his thoughts when suddenly, a half-asleep Y/N turned on his chest with the intention of getting more comfortable so she could fall deeper into dreamland but instead she ended up falling to the floor, startling both the man and their friends who just a short moment later began laughing.

"Ouch..." She muttered, sitting on the ground and rubbing her shoulder in hopes it would ease the pain.

"Woman, what the hell?!" Taemin laughed, sitting on the couch. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, my shoulder just hurts a little, but hey, what's new?" She shrugged, getting back up on her feet and sitting next to her boyfriend.

"Remember that time Y/N almost died?" Jonghyun remembered as Sora, Minho's girlfriend, went to the kitchen to grab her friend some ice.

"How could I forget? I was very lucky Minho wasn't far and acted quickly," stated Y/N.

"Yeah, I almost died of heart attack, too, that day," Taemin remembered. Shortly after the girl had been introduced to the SHINee members, the five of them decided to take their significant others on a trip and they ended up spending one of the days at the pool of the resort they were staying at. Everything was going fine and everyone was having fun when while playing volleyball with their friends, Y/N ran to catch the ball that had landed on the pool deck and ended up slipping and falling into the pool.

They just laughed and didn't think much of it until they started noticing she was drowning. Y/N had never learned how to swim, but as she didn't intend to go to the deeper end of the pool, the girl had neglected to tell her boyfriend or their friends about it. Minho, being the first one to process what was happening and the one closest to the pool ended up being the one to rescue her.

"You were dumb to have been ashamed of such thing and not telling anyone. You could have literally died, Y/N." Taemin stated in a serious tone, making Y/N roll her eyes.

"Jesus, please, not this again. Didn't you punish me enough that day?" Y/N questioned as she rolled her eyes and looked at the man with an annoyed expression.

"Oh that he did, I could hear it from my room," stated Kibum with an expression of disgust etched on his face.

"Wait, what?" Jinki questioned furrowing his eyebrows. "I heard a loud bang that night, I thought she had fallen off the bed or something of the sort."

"Well, she did," Taemin stated with a playful smile. "While trying to give me a lap dance as a way to apologize," He laughed, making her hit his arm and hide her face between her hands in embarrassment, her cheeks getting redder by the second.

"Oh, so that's what happened," Jinki's girlfriend laughed.

"I'm sure Y/N didn't get hurt, though, because they didn't stop there," Kibum stated.

"Hyung, Freddie Mercury already said, "the show must go on," The maknae joked.

"Please stop." She begged embarrassed.

"I wonder what it will be like when you two move in together." Minho chimed in with a laugh as he shook his head at his friends' crazy adventures.

"Hyung, when you love someone you always find solutions to be able to spend your life with them no matter what gets thrown at you on the way." The man readily replied. "For breaking things and the falls, we can always get carpeted floors and as for run in hazards, there are always those table edge guards and bumpers for babies. Or just buy a helmet and have her use it all day every day. As for any sort of gadgets we may have, we need cases for every single one of them. Oh, and knives with covers. We need those to make sure no fingers are sliced in the process of making dinner." He stated, shrugging. Y/N looked at her boyfriends with glimmering eyes and a smile threatening to take over her lips as she bit them.

"You actually think about moving in with me?" She questioned in awe of Taemin's sweetness.

"Of course he does, he would've married you by now if he could, Y/N," Minho's girlfriend stated arriving in the living room with a bag of ice for Y/N to put on her shoulder.

"Yeah, Sora's right. You're the only one who still thinks he might break up with you because of your clumsiness. It's been 4 years, Y/N, wake up," Kibum stated, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his cold tea.

"Hyung, shut up, you're just bitter you haven't found someone like my Y/N to love, yet," Taemin said, sticking his tongue out at Kibum, who rolled his eyes and decided to ignore the maknae's rude behaviour towards him.

The youngest man looked at his girlfriend and held her closer to his side, making sure not to hurt her sore shoulder. "And you, stop thinking that kind of stuff. I love you, I'm not leaving you because of a couple of broken objects or personal belongings gone missing. As long as you can deal with my pseudo-bullying, I am happily willing to deal with your clumsiness." He joked. "I love you just the way you are," He stated passionately, looking her in the eyes. She smiled at him and caressed his cheek before pecking his lips, both of them immediately getting disgusted noises from their friends, which only made Taemin deepen the kiss more and Y/N smile against his lips.

The inevitable truth is that the closer we get to someone, the more aware we become of their flaws. As simple as that. Love, however, sees above all else.

Taemin knew that in Y/N's heart there wasn't a single bit of ill intention. She was the one who from childhood had been made fun of because of her clumsiness and sometimes even to the point she would cry. She was the kindest soul and the more easy going person Lee Taemin knew. She loved to help everyone and make herself feel useful and not like a clumsy waste of space and oxygen. And he loved her for simply being her, for not trying to be someone else, someone she was not.

He found lovely how she always insisted to massage his tired body after long dance practices, so his muscles wouldn't ache as bad the next day even though she spent the day studying for mid-terms and was tired herself. Even when she had to stay up until late to study, she still made a bit of time to lay with him before bed and listen to his happy moments and hardships and there wasn't anything she hated more than going to bed mad at him. Even if she had to be the one to cave in when it wasn't her place to do so, at times, she would.

He could still clearly remember the first day he had been mad at her for letting his phone fall and shattering it to the point of no return. He had given her an ear full that day, he had screamed at her and didn't say a single word to her throughout the whole day despite her tries to apologize.

When the time came where they laid down to sleep, Taemin turned his back to his girlfriend and soon enough he could feel her arms snaking around his middle and her tears wetting the skin of his back along with the silent sobs that left her mouth as endless heartfelt apologies spilt from her shaking lips.

Taemin was surprised, he did not expect that from her. He felt terribly guilty for being so mad at her earlier that day and antagonizing her to the point of tears. That was the very same night he knew she was the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. He understood it was not something she could control, it wasn't something she did on purpose to annoy people around her. It was simply the way she was and he was willing to find solutions to deal with the situation. He was not gonna let something like this affect their relationship, he loved her too much to let that happen.

That day he realized how much he loved her and how thankful for her clumsiness he was, because hadn't it been for her tripping on her heels and falling on his lap, spilling her drink on both of them the night they met, he wouldn't get to hold her in his arms the way he loved to do. They were happy beside one another and they wanted to stay that way for a long long time.

Clumsy or not, she was his. And that was all that mattered.

Lee Taemin loved Y/N. Not only for who she was but for who he became when they were together.

MASTERLIST

[honeyjxsung]

It’s You

Member: Felix x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k oof this was longer than expected

Genre: Fluff

Request:  I was wondering if you could do one where felix's crush needs a fake date for a family event and she ask him plz😊

A/N: Here it is love! I’m sorry this took a while, so please forgive me, but 

Enjoy! <33

******

You were freaking out. 

Not because you were going to a family reunion, no. You were pretty excited to go, it’s been so long since you’ve seen your relatives. You haven’t kept in touch with the cousins you used to be so close with, so meeting them would bring back some nostalgia. You were freaking out because you said you were bringing your boyfriend with you. And the problem is, you don’t have a boyfriend in the first place. 

It only started because you were fed up with your second cousin bragging about her fiancé coming to visit. She rubbed the fact that she got a man before everyone else in your face, and you got quite annoyed, causing you to blurt out stuff you didn’t think through, like how you would bring your lover to the gathering. 

Oh, how you fucked up.

Now you had to find a boyfriend in less than 24 hours.

You grew extremely anxious at first. You didn’t know where or how to find a guy who was willing to be your pretend boyfriend. You didn’t even know how to properly talk to guys! Groaning, you rolled around on your bed as you scrolled through your contacts list, finding someone, anyone, who could be up for the job. 

Then you came across the name that sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

-

Felix was freaking out.

He didn’t expect his crush to show up at his doorstep so early in the morning. He didn’t have time to prepare what to say or what he looked like, so he was a stuttering mess. 

“O-oh! Hey, Y/n...uh what are you doing here?” He rubbed the nape of his neck nervously. You shifted the weight on your right leg to your left,

biting your lip. 

“Hey, Felix! Sorry for disturbing, are you busy?” 

God, you hoped you put enough foundation to cover your crimson red cheeks. 

You didn’t even know why you chose your crush to be the one. It was a terrible mistake and you were certainly going to make a fool out of yourself if you act all intimate with him. You mentally cursed at yourself, thinking that you could’ve chosen your best friend’s brother. Or maybe one of Felix’s members. Anyone but the boy who had such an effect on you.

Ugh so stupid.

The boy in front of you shook his head, “No it’s totally fine, and I’m not busy. Come in.” He stepped aside and motioned for you to enter his dormitory. Luckily his members were either gone for work or completely out cold. 

You entered timidly and kicked off your shoes, lining them to the wall and made your way to the couch where he was sitting. 

“So what’s up?” 

“Ok um..” You began. You didn’t know how to bring up the whole boyfriend scheme without seeming weird. Felix cocked his head to the side, and if you weren’t panicking you would’ve found it cute. 

You couldn’t take it back anymore, you were already in his place, probably wasting his precious time that he could’ve spent on something more productive. 

“I need you to be my fake boyfriend for a family reunion!” You blurted out. You were scared of how he would react so you expected the worst, but he only seemed confused, hinting at how his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

He blinked, trying to process what you said. Was he hearing things? 

“Wh-what?” 

“Just for today, my cousins think I have a boyfriend when I actually don’t. It’s fine if you don’t want to.” 

Felix was quite taken aback, and he was beginning to blush. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he often fantasized about you being his girlfriend. And although it was going to last one day and it was completely fake, he was willing to do it. Mostly for your sake, but partially for his too. 

“No-no It’s alright, I was just a bit shocked...when do we start?” 

“Well it starts at 5 so we have plenty of time to get ready and such. By the way, you can wear something nice, it doesn’t have to be so formal though.”

Felix nodded and gave you a soft smile. He could tell how tense you were, you must be really anxious. “Would you like anything to drink?” He offered, standing up from his spot. 

“Oh, I’ll just have a glass of water please.” 

He nodded and escorted himself to the kitchen. He still had a good view of you from the kitchen since it was out in the open, and he could see how you were sitting up straight and fiddled with your fingers. You were wondering why Felix seemed so fine about it. Asking to be your fake boyfriend was so out of the blue, and it calmed you that he wasn't judging you. You looked at his direction and he gave you a playful grin to calm your nerves

“Make yourself comfortable, Y/n. I don’t want my girlfriend to feel so tense.” 

He froze, Felix didn’t know where that burst of confidence came from. Gosh, that was so embarrassing. He attempted to hide behind the counter, scared to see your face, but he heard your adorable giggle and his smile resurfaced. “Alright, whatever you say, babe.” You retorted, and you instantly regretted it. Was that too much? Your heart was pounding and you were afraid that he would be able to hear it from across the room. 

He came back with two glasses of water, passing one to you, and you thanked him. That was when you realized how quiet the place was. Felix was in Stray Kids, and the members were known to be very loud. It was odd that you never heard a single scream yet. 

“Where are the rest of the boys?” You asked, looking around. Felix followed your actions, taking a sip. “Well, Chan, Woojin, Seungmin, and Jisung are at the Jyp Building. The rest are asleep. They stayed up pretty late last night.” He chuckled, remembering how rowdy they were the other day. Felix loved his 8 members dearly as if they were his brothers. They were all pretty close, so knowing personal things about each other wasn't new. That means they know all about Felix’s huge crush on you, and he quietly praised the fact that none of them were present to expose him. 

“That’s typical of you guys. Partying like there’s no tomorrow.”

There was that laugh again. The one that set sparks flying inside of his chest. Felix tried to ignore it because he didn’t want to ruin a simple conversation, but you were just too damn cute to ignore. 

“Well, that is their motto. But I’m not saying that it’s a good saying to follow.” He sighed. 

“But they’re really fun to be around, not gonna lie.” 

“What, are you saying that they are more fun than me?” Felix put a hand to his chest, mocking a hurt expression.

“I never said that!” 

“That’s what you implied!” 

“There was no implication in that statement!” 

“That hurts Y/n. You wound me.” He faked a cry and you scoffed while shoving his shoulder lightly. The two of you continued to talk to each other, and your original plans of leaving the dorm to ready your stuff were out the window. Somehow, the gap between the both of you on the couch was nonexistent anymore, as you were shoulder to shoulder. Time flew by before you even knew it, and the only thing that snapped you out of it was Minho sleepily walking to the kitchen without noticing the two people on the couch. You and Felix sat in silence, watching the boy shuffle to the fridge, and tried not to burst out laughing. 

“Good Morning Minho.” You said as calmly as you could. It was normal for the members to wake up extremely late, and both of you found it amusing seeing how confused they end up once they found out that others just finished lunch.

Minho, not sparing a glance responded, “Hey Y/n-“ and continued to down his food. 

It was only when Felix burst into a fit of laughter when Lee know realized you were in their dorm. He nearly choked on his brunch. “Y/n-when did you get here?” 

After you calmed yourself and Felix down, you proceeded to answer the boy’s question by checking the time. “I got here at like 11-holy shit, Lix it’s Three!” 

It took an hour and a half to get to the family reunion, and you weren’t even changed yet. You swiftly got up and Felix followed with a nod. He let you in his room and began to look through his closet with you sitting on his bed. 

-

Several minutes passed, and Felix looked incredible. He wore a loose button-down that outlined his muscles and blue jeans. He swept his hair to the side which revealed his forehead. It was so simple, yet it was able to blow you away. You gave a look of approval and went to your car to your place. Felix came with you while Minho was left without an explanation.

You rushed to your wardrobe while Felix patiently waited in the living room. You cleaned yourself up and rushed outside. Felix couldn't move, you were breathtaking. In a cute off-the-shoulder blouse with black jeans, you looked stunning. 

“Ready?” You asked. 

He gulped.

“As I’ll ever be.”

-

“Y/n! Hey!” A high pitched voice rang through your ears once you entered the doors. It was your cousin, with a smirk on her face. She extended her arms out to your and her hot pink claw nails grazed your skin as she patted your back. There was a tall man by her side, which you assumed was her fiancé she bragged about so much. “This is Rowoon, my fiancé. He’s a doctor.” Your assumptions were proven when she said the last part with a proud grin. You tried not to scoff at her obvious intentions and put on a smile as you greeted her soon to be husband. He seemed very gentlemanly, with soft eyes and a fit body. He had a good fashion sense and his kind personality was what reeled you in. You couldn’t believe he was to marry your bratty cousin. Poor guy.

“So, where's the boyfriend? Is he not coming? Or is he just not existent?” 

You pursed your lips to stop yourself from saying something you’d regret later and half-heartedly laughed. Felix told you to go ahead because the parking was hard to find. “No no, he’s here, he’s just parking the car.” 

And as if it was on cue, you heard his familiar voice behind you. “Babe!” 

The act had begun.

The smile on your face turned genuine once he met eyes with you. Your cousin’s attention wasn’t on you anymore, but on the handsome boy who claimed to be your boyfriend. She batted her eyelashes towards him and giggled. 

“Yuna, this is Felix, my boyfriend.” Instinctively, Felix interlaced his fingers with yours, and you were taken by surprise. His hands were soft and fit with yours as if they were meant to be held together. It was an unfamiliar feeling that you felt, you couldn’t quite put a finger on it. Though you were sure about one thing.

It felt so right.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both.” Felix reached his hand out to the couple while his left hand remained wrapped around yours. He gave Rowoon a firm handshake and Yuna hugged him. 

You wanted to get out of Yuna’s sight, so you squeezed Felix’s hand and he immediately responded. 

“It was nice meeting you, but we’ll go ahead and get some food.” Felix bowed dismissively and you mustered up a wave before heading to the tables. Felix led you to a chair and pulled it out for you to sit it. Then he left you and your thoughts alone to get food. You were grateful that Felix was willing to pose as someone he’s not and go through your hectic family just to spare your pride, you knew it’ll take a lot in order to pay him back, but he deserved it. 

You viewed him from the corner of your eye filling two cups with some punch, and along the way, he made small talk with your aunt and first cousin. Judging by them laughing, you could tell their conversation was going well. 

It was a nice sight to see, seeing your family members get along with someone very special to you. If only he could see it too; if only you were just as precious to him as he was to you. If only this could last for more than one day. 

If only it could be real. 

Little did you know he felt the same way too.

-

“Your family is so nice, they’re really easy to get along with.” Felix comments, resting a hand on top of yours. He could get used to the feeling of your hands on his. You produced a different type of warmth whenever he touched you. It was comforting and relaxing.

It felt like home.

“They can be rowdy at times, but they’re really loving.” You said, looking off to the side. You avoided his stare. 

“Thank you, Felix, for coming. It means a lot.” You said softly. “I know acting like my fake boyfriend is odd of me, I wouldn’t be surprised if after this you would think of me as a weirdo.”

Felix swirled his drink a lifted his lips upward. “It’s not a problem. And I don’t think you’re a weirdo Y/n, I told you, it’s ok.” 

He reassured you one last time before taking a sip of the drink. You shared a comfortable silence between the both of you, the only noise was the loud chatting of your family and the clinking of silverware as they ate. You decided to look at him and his brows were furrowed as if he was in deep thought. And indeed he was.

You were about to speak up until he cleared his throat and mumbled a “fuck it” under his breath.

“Although, Y/n.” He began again, which caught your attention. The tone of his voice shifted and you were beginning to get scared as you didn’t know where it was going. 

“I want to make this relationship a reality.” 

Pause.

The white noise suddenly canceled out, the only sound was the thumping of your heart getting faster and faster. You didn’t hear wrong right? 

“What..?” your lips parted as you stared at him in awe, waiting for him to clarify what exactly he said, and luckily he did.

“I like you, Y/n. Well, I have been for a while… I’m really glad that you chose me to be your date for today, even if this is fake. I get it if you don’t want to, but would you like to make us real?” 

He internally cringed at his speech, and he was sure you were going to reject him. But to his relief, you felt a bit bold and decided to move forward and place a kiss on his lips. 

You pulled away, a light shade of red tinted on your cheeks as you processed what you just did, and Felix couldn’t move as he was just as speechless. 

“I like you too, Lix. And I would love to be your girlfriend.” 

-

The night continued, and your energy began to drain. You had a lot of fun talking to your relatives and catching up, but it was beginning to get darker and your feet were in pain. Saying farewell, you laced your hands with the blonde’s and walked out with a bright smile on your face. 

Thinking back, it was kind of funny; Felix walked in the building as your fake boyfriend and walked out as your real one. You chuckled at the thought, but you snapped out of it when the one who was on your mind sat right next to you, giving you a peck on the cheek before resting his head on your lap. On instinct, your fingers played with his bleached locks as he lulled himself to sleep.

Yeah, you can get used to this.

[holy-hyuck]

What’s Left of You

All that you give Minho is a month to stop loving you. Easier said than done, you fall victim to his calling sooner than you thought possible, even if you know how wrong it is to go back.

Pairing: Lee Minho x Reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Genre: Angst, Suggestive

Warnings: Slight make-out.

Song Rec: Mercy by Shawn Mendes

Your fingers traced the outline of your name on the back of the pendant, the silver gleaming in the sunlight coming in through the window. You looked at Minho for a split second, unable to do so for any longer as the guilt built up in you, your heart rattling as you thought of the words that were about to leave your mouth.

He placed the cup of tea - your favourite - on the table in front of you, sitting down so he was facing you.

He sent you a smile, grasping your hands in his, the necklace he gave you for your first anniversary sitting between your intertwined hands. His hair was brown, tousled. His skin shone gold, lips curling upwards involuntarily. His eyes were bright, full of light and love.

He was so beautiful.

You swallowed, your throat dry and scratchy like sandpaper.

"I'm so happy you came. I wanted to call you, actually; this is my only day off this week. I thought that maybe we could go to the cinema. They’re playing that movie we talked about seeing; remember?"

He meant so well but every word stabbed knives in your heart. You couldn't do it, you couldn't do it.

But you had to.

"Um, I actually- I wanted to- Or actually, needed to, talk to you," you said, giving him your best smile, something to ease the pain that was about to come, and knowing you would be the cause of it made you sick.

"You sound serious," he joked, his smile disappearing when the comment didn't make you laugh.

"I am," you admitted, gathering up all the courage you lost when you walked through the front door. "I-"

The dreadful words got stuck in your throat. You sat on these thoughts for a few weeks now, hoping that you'd find a solution to the ever-growing problem, or that you'd be able to shake it off. You loved him, you knew you did, and there was nothing more you wanted than to keep loving him, but the hurt you felt because of him was sometimes too much.

It wasn't his fault; perhaps, it was yours, for falling for him when you knew you could never be. There were so many obstacles between you two, and yet you agreed to be his, your heart forgetting about the downsides at the joy you felt in the moment.

And as you suspected, the joy ride came to an end.

You took a deep breath, your voice shaky despite your attempts to steady it.

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I was just thinking; because of your job, I barely get to see you, and I just-” you choked on your words, wanting to swallow them back down. You let out a shaky breath, a cry desperately wanting to rip its way out of your throat as you looked down, your vision blurred from the tears. Although this wasn’t the intention, you let one roll down your cheek.

It felt wrong to look back up and meet Minho’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, barely enough for him to hear as you leaned into his embrace, both of you fragile as he wrapped his arms around your frame, unsure, hesitant. “I think we should break up.”

Abruptly, he pulled back, holding you by your shoulder at a safe distance. He searched your face for any signs of a joke, sarcasm, humour - anything. You wouldn't, he thought. You wouldn't break his heart like that. What kind of excuse was this anyway? You knew about his job long before you got together. Was it just too much for you to handle now?

The laugh he elicited was dry and humourless, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. "That's funny." He stood up, walking away, every sound in the room becoming white noise.

You were quick on your feet, calling his name as he continued walking down the hallway, ignoring you even though your voice was echoing inside his head.

"Minho..." Your voice softened, too tired to argue. You knew this wouldn't be easy. It was even harder when he acted like this.

"Don't," he said, his tone matching yours. His back was facing you, making it all the more difficult to decipher his emotions. "Don't say you meant it."

You swore you heard his voice tremble and it was the most painful sound you've ever heard. Your mind fogged and within seconds, you were ready to leap into his arms and apologise. Your emotions were so strong for him; he had the power to destroy you and yet he's done nothing but love you, and that made you feel like a monster. But you knew it had to be done, sooner or later.

“No,” he said, his voice stern and face full of fury as he finally faced you. “No, don't you even dare say that,” he seethed.

“Minho, I can’t-”

“No! That’s so stupid, that’s so fucking stupid of you to say! You knew how it would be! You knew every single consequence of this relationship and now you give up on us? On me? I’ve given you everything, I’ve done everything for you, I loved you through thick and thin and you-”

“But I can’t do it anymore!”

Your voice shattered the bubble he was in, the veil of anger he locked himself in. It left you both silent and empty, thinking of what to say now even though you knew that no words could fix this.

"I can't! It's not easy for me either, you know? I spend my days thinking of what you're doing, wanting to spend time with you, wanting to call you but I always stop myself because I know you're never going to pick up the phone. You're never there, on the other line, the way you promised you'd be. And I can't even blame you because I knew how this would be, and still, every fucking day I miss you more than the last. I crave your touch, your kisses, a stupid goodnight message for all I care. All my friends, when they talk about their boyfriend or girlfriend, they say what they did the other day, or that sometimes all they do is nap together and I envy that because I can't do that with you. I want something that's real. I want to be able to touch you, but you're miles away. You're always so far away. I told you you'd be better off with another idol, with someone who understands. I thought I did, and I thought I was that someone but I'm clearly not who you need."

Your words hung in the air for a minute too long. You knew you said a word too much. You knew you couldn't blame him - he was right after all. But you hated how it felt when you couldn't sleep at night and all you wanted was for him to hold you, but the spot in your bed that he used to occupy was cold and empty.

You breathed out and he watched you, stunned with what you said. He never thought you felt that way, and quite frankly, you didn't think you have either. The splatter of your tear onto the floor brought you back to reality.

"I'm sorry." You bit your trembling lip. His shoulders shook, and you saw the waterfall on his face, his eyes gleaming but not with happiness.

"Don't," he whispered, taking few long strides towards you and burying his face in the crook of your neck, you bodies becoming one as your heart felt the agony you caused him. Your limbs went numb as he held you tighter than ever, afraid to let you go.

"I'm sorry," you repeated, suddenly out of words to say. What else could you say anyway? You already broke the ice, throwing yourself and Minho into the cold water.

"I still love you," he cried, desperately grasping onto anything to prevent him from sinking deeper.

"I love you too." Your words, though sweet, had a cold undertone that didn't comfort him the way they always used to. "But you'll forget me, and I promise, you'll stop loving me. Just give it time."

That day, you left him drowning, clinging onto the air you used to share with him and breathing in what was left of you.

You let the water run down your body, the warmth engulfing you and making you feel just a little less lonely. It drowned out the silence as you inhaled the deep raspberry scent from your shower gel, your mind flashing back to that night in his apartment, the candle sitting atop the coffee table, a stupidly comforting smell that filled you with regret and hurt from head to toe.

Closing your eyes, you felt the water cascading down your face, and you sought out the warmth from it that you were never going to get from anywhere else, now that its only source was out of your life.

Blinded, you found the tap and turned the water off, standing naked in the shower, with nothing but the sound of the laundry machine.

The apartment was empty, so sickeningly silent and dark it made your insides tighten, your heart wrench and you wanted to curl into yourself, sleep the pain away, the way you have for so long now, it feels.

In reality, it has only been three weeks. Every morning, the way you used to wake up to the sound of your alarm and get yourself a glass of cold water was no longer enjoyable. Every evening, the relief of taking off your heavy coat and your shoes was washed away with the reminder of the loneliness awaiting inside your home.

It was a routine you used as a foundation, starting and ending the day the same way; it was a way of keeping yourself grounded, but it has gone too far. It was tedious. It was mind-numbing. It was agonising.

And you couldn't handle the pain.

You've made the right decision, you told yourself. This was your daily mantra, knowing that you couldn't let yourself blame either one of you. It was his job. It was the stars, never aligning your way, separating your galaxies from each other, and you had to tell yourself it was for the better.

Even miles away from you, he gave you the strength of thousands. He made you feel like a lioness, but without him, you were just a lamb.

Never depend on a man, your mother told you, Never make him feel like he created you, like you're nothing without him.

But you couldn't help it. Every waking thought was a reprimand to forget about him, which, in turn, made you think about him all the more.

You must have loved the forbidden.

You took the necklace between your hands, letting it slip between your fingers like sand, knowing you didn’t deserve to feel the cold metal on your skin.

It's for the better, you repeated, training yourself to believe it.

It's not my fault, you convinced yourself, tired of shifting the blame towards him all the damn time, just because you couldn't admit that you broke him and that you broke yourself too in the process.

You truly thought you would be okay. Even if you loved him, your heart, tired of all the hurt, and your brain, trying to keep your sanity, told you it was what you needed to do, even if every bone and cell in your body told you you were wrong.

With a deep sigh, you plopped down on your bed, one hand under your head as the other flipped the phone between your fingers. Suddenly, it rang, startling you, and you let the phone fall next to you.

After regaining your composure, you picked it up, your heart racing as Minho's name flashed on the screen, the same photo from when you were together staring back at you. It's only been three weeks. What could he want?

You debated what to do but your instinct kicked in and you picked up the call, denying the fluttering of your heart.

It was quiet for a second, even though the phone was pressed tightly against your ear, but then you heard sniffing and a broken, fragile voice.

"(Y/n)?" He sounded hopeful.

"Minho," you breathed, unsure of what to say, why he called, or how this conversation would play out.

"Hey..." You could almost imagine the little smile on his face, unable to help the one forming on your face.

Then, he started sobbing and time stopped. You were frozen in place, knowing you couldn't do anything to ease the pain, being so many miles away. He staggered some words out, sometimes only syllables, but nothing made sense in the end. You waited patiently at the other end of the line, feeling helpless.

"I gave myself a month," he said, after what felt like hours, "To forget you. You promised I'd stop loving you but...but it's been three weeks, and my heart can't go on without you. It'll never be the same without you, even after a month will pass by. Even after a year. I can't do this without you, (y/n)..."

His words shot bullets at your heart as you sat in the darkness of your room, eyes squeezed shut and hot tears falling from your eyes, all efforts to stop them rendered useless.

"I can't do this, Minho..."

"Can I just see you? One more time, just one last time. I can't even remember what your face looks like, even if I dreamed of you every night."

You bit your lip, knowing that going to see him would be the biggest mistake of your life; knowing that once you'd see him, you wouldn't survive leaving him again. He didn't know what he was doing to you, the blackness he was spreading in your heart.

"I love you," he sounded through the phone, shuttering your heart into millions of pieces and you ended the call, unable to stand his voice, breaking you over and over again.

But even then, you were already on your feet, even though it was a mistake, because Minho was worth all the consequences that would follow.

Even your heart was in doubt as you stood on his doorstep, your hand shaking as you brought it up to knock on the door. You hesitated; you tried again, bringing your hand back each time. Closing your eyes, you reached out again and your knuckles touched the brown wood before you could back out. Even then, you considered running away, disappearing into the shadows because you knew that no matter what happened tonight between the two of you, even if it would only be a conversation, your heart wouldn't let you let go of him again. It's done that one too many times that now it will shatter to a point where nothing will be able to fix it.

After a moment silence filled with the rustling of leaves, the sound of the heavy doors opening interrupted the fluttering of butterflies in your stomach. It was Woojin's face you came in contact with and he gave you a forced smile, letting you in.

"He's upstairs. I'm going to the shop; won't be back for another hour. Please," He took your wrist in his hand, leaning in so you could hear his whisper, "bring him back."

He left you alone in the hall, the one where you left Minho, and you wished it hurt you less to be here.

You knew the route to Minho's room off by heart. You knew he took the top bunk, that he always had a bottle of water propped on his desk, along with your matching necklace next to it. He always threw his shoes off by the front door of the house, and you always complained to him about it because he did it in your house too.

Walking up the stairs didn't feel the same. Everything from the beige walls to the wood creaking underneath your feet told you that this wasn't a place you were welcome in anymore, even if the door was always open, even if Minho called you twenty times each night, telling you that your place was with him.

Yet again, you hesitated, inches away from Minho's door, but the noise the floor created made him aware of your presence. You told yourself this would be good for you, that seeing him for the last time, letting you both cry all the locked up emotions out would bring you both to the bright side.

Taking a deep breath, you finally knocked on the door, gently pushing it open and letting yourself take everything in. The clothes on the floor, one on top of another until there were several piles pushed up against the wall in an attempt to make the mess Minho's created any more presentable. There were several empty bottles of water shoved underneath the bed, and the bin was filled with tissues to the rim, overflowing.

Breathing in the scent of destruction, you let it contaminate your lungs. The pain in your heart told you you've caused this, but you couldn't let yourself take the blame another time. You had to stop destroying yourself over and over again to punish yourself for being human, and doing what you thought was right.

Minho's gaze fell upon you and a lump formed in his throat. He didn't think you'd actually show up, and now that you did, he didn't know what to do. It was a false hope, calling you in the midst of desperation when his emotions got the best of him and clouded his judgement, and the members weren't there to stop him. He was desperate to let you hear his cries, to see what you did, and that only you could bring him back to life. It was his last resort, his heart unable to cope with the thought of having to let you go. He needed another chance because he knew that if he left you both to suffer in silence, you would bury each other in your memories, and the pain would never truly go away. He knew that if you left, he would have to forget you, and deep down he knew he would never be able to fully let go of you, that you would always be a part of his life, even if he carved your name out of his heart with the sharpest blade.

You ached for him, and it hit you just how much when you looked at him when he was the most vulnerable. His eyes were darker than ever, the brightness killed long ago. He still had so much, you knew. He still had dancing, he still had music. He still had his members, and fans, and family, and yet you knew that it didn't matter that he had all of that, because he had lost you.

Standing in silence, neither one of you knew what to say. Now that you were here, you couldn't just turn back and leave, but the quietness of the apartment tore you apart.

Then, he stood up from the bed, his movements sudden, and lunged towards you as he wrapped his arms around your perplexed form. The air was knocked out of your lungs, your brain unable to comprehend his actions for a second, before you let yourself reciprocate the gesture. You hugged him back, gently at first, then the scent of his cologne, the one he used to mask the fact that he hasn't showered in a day or two, or three even, hit your nostrils and you breathed him in like he was your oxygen, like you would die without him.

"I'm sorry," he choked out, and you hadn't realised he'd been crying until you heard the words. "I'm sorry," he repeated, and you stroked his head, letting the words sink in.

"There's nothing to be sorry about."

"I'm sorry."

He let go of you, looking you in the eyes for a split second before looking at the ground, the corners of his mouth lifting up into a smile.

"I didn't think you'd come," he admitted, and you nodded your head because quite frankly, you didn't think you'd come either.

You took another look around the room, scanning the place that you've been in so many times, and couldn't help but wonder how three weeks apart from Minho made it so foreign, so cold.

You felt Minho's eyes on you, afraid to meet them. When you did, the unmistakable stars in them made you smile. You missed them.

You missed Minho.

"So-"

"I just needed to see you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have nothing to say. I'm sorry I even called you in the first place. I-I don't know what I was thinking, honestly. It was stupid - I'm stupid."

Biting your lip, you placed your hand on his bicep, your eyes meeting his, and you fought with yourself as to not crumble under his gaze. "You're not stupid. I know what you were thinking - and maybe, I was thinking that too."

You took a deep breath. "But I can't do this anymore. We can't do this. Running back and forth on our emotions, giving each other hope when it died so long ago. I'm sorry."

You let go of him, your hand suddenly cold without his touch. You turned around, the tears in his eyes forming your own and you let your hand linger on the door handle for a second more, a second too long, enough for you to break. Pressing your forehead against the wood, you let yourself cry, your heart unable to cover up the hurt any longer. You let the sobs fill the room, the tears falling one by one until they formed a stream down your face.

You spun around, eyes meeting Minho's and you enveloped him in a hug, allowing yourself to fall apart in his arms, your cries becoming one. At exactly that moment, you both felt your hearts breaking, the lonely halves ripping out of your chests to meet each other and create a whole.

Once you spilled out an ocean, you pressed your foreheads together, your breaths mixing into one. "I'm sorry," you whispered, knowing it was wrong to clutch onto him when you needed to and leaving when you were okay once again.

He looked up at you, tilting your chin up when you wouldn't meet his eyes.

They were dark, the dim light in the room making shadows dance across his face. They flickered between your own eyes and your lips, finally settling on the latter, and his gaze held onto them, just a second too long. He leaned forward, capturing your lips in a kiss and holding you like you were going to slip between his fingertips.

Lost in the moment, overclouded with all the wrong emotions you came here with, with the hurt still present and still nagging in your heart, you brought your hands to his face, and against your better judgement, you gave yourself over to him.

His fingers dug into your skin, leaving crescents on the surface. The pain was pleasurable, fueling the fire between you two. His hands travelled along your body, exploring what he has forgotten in the time apart.

His touch was cold, so different from the way you've remembered him. It reached every crevice of your skin so that he would never forget what it felt like to hold you so tightly against him, to feel your heartbeat against his own chest, the rapid beating a product of his actions.

He was hungry for you and you yearned for him, gripping his black shirt until your knuckles turned white. His eyes were shut close because he was scared that if he opened them, you would be gone, and it all would be just a dream.

His feet moved back towards the bed and he sat on it, pulling you with him. At that moment, you came to your senses, snapping back to reality, and you pushed him onto the bed, eyes wide as you walked backwards, nearly tripping on the trash he had on the floor.

You brought your hand up to your lips, the feeling of his kiss, the stinging sensation still lingering. You got too caught up in it, listening to your heart too much.

"We shouldn't have," you let out in a whisper, your words predictable. He knew you would say this, long before your mind thought of the words.

He knew he should care more about you, about your feelings at that moment. You were conflicted, your brain and heart splitting into two different voices telling you different definitions of right and wrong, both questioning the morals of the other.

Your heart wanted him, but your brain knew he was no longer yours, that you let him go and it had to stay that way. You were torn apart between two universes, nowhere near making the choice you thought you had already made.

You knew it was a mistake to come here, yet you came anyway.

He was selfish when it came to you. He couldn't help it. Every time you came to his field of vision, his mind became a haze, overclouded with his love for you. It was dangerous, he was told, and he knew, but you were worth the risk, worth all the pain.

You both stood in silence, your chests heaving, the effects of the heated kiss still there as you thought of something to say, but no words were good enough.

You both knew you were right, that this shouldn't have happened. But you also knew why it happened, that you both still felt strongly for each other even if you told your hearts to stop feeling, even if you spent night after night numbing yourself.

"We shouldn't have," he repeated after you, the pain exerting through the words.

You nodded, out of words, out of reason. You parted your lips, sucking in the sickening and tense air but anything you had on your mind had already drifted away. There was truly nothing you could do or say to fix this.

The air you left behind you was cold and empty, as one last 'I love you' has died on your lips.

[kim-seungmine]

i’ll hold your hand (don’t let me go) - part 2 /2

title: I’ll hold your hand (don’t let me go) – part 2  / 2

characters: (fem) reader x hwang hyunjin of stray kids (feat. kim seungmin, han jisung of stray kids, lee chaeyeon of iz*one, myoui mina of twice + other skz members)

genres: fluff, angst, slice-of-life, college au

warnings: language, mentions of bullying & death

word count: 7.5k words

synopsis: hyunjin is no longer fearless and you feel that he’s slipping away from you... or is it the other way around?

a/n: you can read this as a stand-alone but it’ll be much better if you read the first part first. you can find the masterlist in my bio because i can’t put links here!

CHAPTER 2: ... but I love you

It’s finally spring, your favorite season because walking down the street when it’s -19C is definitely not your thing. But it’s also Monday, everybody’s least favorite day ever, no matter what the season is. When Yang Jeongin, Hyunjin’s roommate, tells you that the latter hasn’t woken up yet (it’s past 12PM), you have no choice but to pay a visit to the boys’ dormitory.

The security isn’t too tight during the day, so you manage to slip into the building easily. You stop in front of room number 320, knocking on it softly. Jeongin opens the door, welcoming you with a dimpled smile you always melt at. “I think he’s got a class at 3,” he says, zipping his backpack as he walks past you. “I did everything you told me to do, but it’s been 2 years and nothing ever works unless you do it yourself.”

Jeongin waves you goodbye, leaving you alone with your sleeping boyfriend. “Hyunjin,” you begin, shaking his body with all your might. He doesn’t budge, so you decide to act as if it’s Saturday and he’s staying over at your dorm because you live in a single room (you don’t know how he manages to sneak in, but Hwang Hyunjin surely has his ways).

You lay down beside him before circling your arms around his torso, burying your head in the crook of his neck. “Jinjin,” you try again, using the nickname he loves so much. Hyunjin lives for nicknames, he’s given you so many he can’t even remember them, but you only have one for him. Jinjin. You don’t really use it, but everytime you do, Hyunjin turns into a clingy but obedient big baby.

His eyes flutter open, and you place feathery kisses on his neck. “Please wake up,” you whisper against his skin, looking up to see him smiling at you. Hyunjin nods, wrapping you into a tight hug. “Can Jinjin sleep for five more minutes?” he mumbles.

“What will you do if I tell Jisung that you’re referring to yourself as Jinjin… in third person?” you threaten, smoothing his bed hair. Hyunjin whines, and you’re trying not to chuckle because this is serious. “You can’t make Jeongin and me do this all the time.”

“I know,” he answers, rocking you in his arms. “But it’s just sooo hard to wake up.”

You sigh, pulling away to look at him in the eyes. “Next time I’ll just let you miss classes. This is going to be my last time doing this, okay?”

“Okay,” he replies, and you give him a peck on his lips. “Alright. Now can Jinjin start getting ready so he can walk his beautiful girlfriend to class?” you tease, earning a hard pinch on your cheek.

Hyunjin sits up with you still in his arms. He gives you one more kiss before getting out of bed. “Please let me live, Y/N!”

-

It only takes Hyunjin twenty minutes to get ready. He’s already dressed in the red checkered shirt you gifted him last month and a pair of faded jeans. “You’re trying to turn me into Jisung, aren’t you?” he asks while looking at his reflection in the mirror.

“I just think that you look good in checkered shirts, that’s all,” you reply, feeding him a piece of kimbap you bought from CU*. “Speaking of Jisung, are we still meeting his friend tonight? Do you still have dance practices with Minho?”

Hyunjin opens the door, taking your hand in his before stepping out. “What’s a dance practice?!” he asks dramatically. “I only know staying up all night to design a living room!”

“I’m serious. He’s been asking to meet us so many times this week but we barely responded,” you say. Hyunjin mutters a tired, “Aigoo,” but takes out his phone to call Seungmin.

“Wow, you answered,” he exclaims, putting his phone on loudspeaker so you can hear their conversation. “You better not bail on us tonight, asshole. I don’t want to hear Jisung weep about us not being supportive.”

Seungmin scoffs, you can hear him closing his book. “What the hell? You’re the one who keep canceling! Y/N, tell him!”

You jab at Hyunjin’s waist, causing him to yelp loudly. “I’ll drag his lazy ass, Seungmin. Don’t worry,” you promise him. Seungmin laughs, telling you to take care before ending the call. You turn to Hyunjin who’s busy massaging his waist. “Do you have something you want to tell me?” you ask.

“Like what?” he challenges, squinting at the bright sunlight as both of you exit the dormitory. You’re swinging your intertwined hands softly, pondering whether you should ruin the blissful moment right now. “Like what?” Hyunjin repeats, causing you to stop on your tracks.

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“Nothing happened, baby. I’m just tired,” he reassures you, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. “Now let’s get Jinjin’s beautiful girlfriend to class, shall we?”

-

Jeongin has saved you a spot when you arrive in class. You two went to the same school, but you never actually met him although Seungmin used to be his tutor and talked about the younger boy quite a lot. Sometimes you regret not knowing Jeongin sooner; he’s a brat, but he’s a sweet brat and he’s taught you a thing or two about life.

“So, what method did you use? Scream in his ear? Play his ‘HWANG HYUNJIN WAKE UP!!!’ alarm for a whole ten minutes? Pretending there’s an earthquake and the whole world is falling apart?”

Plus he’s endured being Hyunjin’s roommate for 2 years and put up with his sleeping habits.

You smile sourly at him, cringing when you recall the whole Jinjin-please-wake-up scenario. “He loves me that much, I guess,” you mumble. Jeongin smirks at you, lowering his voice so only you can hear him. “You used ‘the girlfriend method,’ didn’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, the usual. Kissing the life out of him, calling him pet names, begging him to wake up. You went down the soft path, I bet.”

You just stare at him in disbelief, while he’s only giving you a smug smile. “Hyunjin sleep talks. I know a lot of things.”

The professor has entered the class, but you’re too distracted by Jeongin’s words to notice. “What do you know?” you ask, almost fearfully.

Jeongin points at the professor, signaling at you to start opening your book. “Well, let’s say that I know who Jinjin is,” he tells you in a sing-song tone.

You want to smash your head against the table. Dating Hwang Hyunjin is definitely not easy.

-

The café where Jisung wants to meet you isn’t far from your campus. You and Hyunjin are walking hand-in-hand, with Chaeyeon trailing behind you. “You kept hollering at us to meet you and your new friend and now you’re saying you’re going to be late?!” she yells at Jisung over the phone.

Jisung is now a—quoting Seungmin—somewhat superstar. He’s started a hiphop crew with a friend from his academy, and they’ve started to get attention from the public. You’ve only seen his friend on Instagram, so you’re really curious about him.

“He’ll be here soon,” Chaeyeon informs with a tired tone as you’re entering the café. “Is this why Jisung insisted we have to meet here?” Hyunjin asks, referring to the bright neon sign outside that reads “YOUNG WINGS.”

Chaeyeon stifles a laugh, nodding in agreement. “He deadass chose a café that has the same name as our group chat. Yep I guess he’s that sentimental.”

Hyunjin and Chaeyeon then get into an intense battle of recalling Jisung’s most “embarrassingly sentimental” moments. Just as you’re about to interrupt, Seungmin enters the café, huge eye bags under his eyes.

“Dude, are you okay?” Hyunjin panics, pulling up a chair for Seungmin to sit on. “When was the last time you slept?”

Seungmin looks even thinner compared to the last time you saw him, which was three months ago. He’s dyed his hair red at the start of the semester, now the color has washed away and his roots are showing. Red looks amazing on Seungmin, you swear to God, but now it just makes him look more tired.

“Let me order you a drink,” Chaeyeon says, making her way to the counter. Hyunjin scoots closer to his friend, offering his shoulder. “Here, sleep. I’ll wake you up when Jisung arrives,” he suggests as you slowly push Seungmin’s head to Hyunjin’s shoulder.

“Do you know any of his SNU friends?” you ask Hyunjin, who only shakes his head slightly. “No. Does he ever talk about them? It seems like he doesn’t do anything but study.”

Chaeyeon returns with a cup of jasmine tea, setting it down in front of a fast-asleep Seungmin. “Oh God, he’s dying,” she whispers, taking off his glasses. None of you says anything for a while, just listening to Seungmin’s soft snore while staring at the door.

“That’s them,” Hyunjin breaks the silence, waving his hand at Jisung and his pink-haired friend before turning to Seungmin. You almost want to stop him from waking the redhead up, but Jisung’s loud voice already makes him stir.

“What’s going on?” Jisung’s voice drops as his eyes land on Seungmin. Chaeyeon only sighs, politely telling Jisung’s friend to sit down. “Should we just let him sleep?” she wonders, asking for Jisung’s permission. The blue-haired boy nods, but Hyunjin grunts in protest. “Can we switch? My shoulder is aching already.”

“I’ll do it,” Jisung offers. “I’m gonna order first.”

Chaeyeon averts her attention to the man sitting beside her. “Jisung as talked about you a lot!” she chirps. He smiles, showcasing his dimples. “I’m Bang Chan. I bet Jisung has talked about you guys a lot more than he talked about me!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I even know your names already! You are,” he stops to point at Hyunjin. “Tall, goddamn handsome, pillowy lips. You must be Hwang Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin looks at him in awe. “How the fuck did you memorize all of that?” he mutters, earning a proud smirk from Chan. He darts his eyes to you, clapping his hands excitedly. “You! You’re Y/N, right? The one who made Jisung start doing all of this.”

You raised your eyebrows as Chaeyeon gasps. “What did he tell you about me?”

“Nothing, actually. Just the fact that Hyunjin gives you heart eyes all the time.”

“And me? How about me?!” Chaeyeon squeals a bit too loud, forgetting that Seungmin is still sleeping on Hyunjin’s shoulder. Chan laughs, pretending to think hard before flashing her a smile. “You’re Lee Chaeyeon, Jisung’s favorite girl.”

Chaeyeon’s cheeks turn pink at his statement, causing Hyunjin to whistle. “He won’t shut up about you,” Chan explains, nudging Chaeyeon playfully. “Although all you do is nag at him.”

“Jisung can’t survive without Chaeyeon’s nagging,” Seungmin suddenly quips. He pats Hyunjin’s back, mouthing a thank you before stretching his body. “And you’re the perfect, almighty Kim Seungmin,” Chan utters, almost starstruck.

“What’s with that look?” Seungmin asks him, sipping his lukewarm jasmine tea. “There’s literally nothing you can’t do. I kept asking Jisung if you were real,” he shares. Seungmin only laughs, reaching out to give Chaeyeon a pat on her head. “Thanks for the tea.”

“Jisung said you have a lot of idol friends!” Chaeyeon exclaims. Chan shakes his head bashfully. “Out of all things he told you that?” he chuckles. You and Chaeyeon are into idol groups thesedays, so you pester Chan to tell you who are the ones he’s friends with.

“Well, I’m friends with Wanna One’s Daehwi and Woojin. I know Pentagon’s Yuto too. Hmm, who else?” he muses while all of you are focusing on him. “Ah! I’m close with Stray Kids’ Lee Jungjin. He recently released a solo album, you guys know him, right?”

The whole table freezes, shooting Hyunjin a worried look. “I see,” Seungmin responds with an awkward laugh. “So are you guys preparing for the audition? Jisung said you two are going to Show Me the Money this year.”

Chan notices Seungmin’s lame attempt to change the topic, but brushes it off.

 “Yeah, we are. I think it’ll be a good experience for us,” he says, looking relieved when Jisung comes back.

“Man, the line is long,” he sighs, putting down his chocolate float on the table. Chaeyeon gives him a look that pretty much says, “Please save us,” and he complies, although you’re sure he doesn’t know what the hell is going on. You grab Hyunjin’s hand under the table, lacing your fingers with his.

Hyunjin squeezes your hand, turning to Chan with a hardened expression he’s trying so hard to hide. “I just remembered that I have something to do,” he announces. “It was nice meeting you, Chan. Good luck with the audition, and don’t hesitate to knock some senses into this stupid squirrel if he’s being annoying.” Jisung is about to retort, but Seungmin stops him.

“Call me when you finish, I’ll pick you up. Both of you,” Hyunjin tells you, pointing at Chaeyeon as well. Chaeyeon nods as Jisung stares at you in confusion. Hyunjin gives you a quick kiss on your temple before heading out of the café.

“Did I say something wrong?” Chan asks, looking guilty and confused at the same time. You, Seungmin, and Chaeyeon exchange glances, wondering whether Chan should know about what happened between Hyunjin and Jungjin.

Jisung is busy with his phone, his fingers typing impatiently and you instantly know that he’s texting Hyunjin. You wait until he gets a reply, while Seungmin and Chaeyeon try to dismiss the conversation.

“Chan I’m going to talk about this just once and you have to keep it a secret, okay?” Jisung instructs. You heave a sigh when Chan nods; you’ve always wanted to know more about Jungjin, but Hyunjin always refused to talk about him in details.

“Lee Jungjin was the one who bullied Hyunjin, along with some other trainees. And he was also the one chosen to replace Hyunjin in Stray Kids when his parents pulled him out of the group.”

-

Hyunjin is already waiting for you in front of the girls’ dormitory building when you arrive. Seungmin, Jisung and Chaeyeon bid you goodbye, but not without silently asking you to update them about your boyfriend.

“See you later, loverboy!” Jisung shouts as Chaeyeon drags him away. Hyunjin immediately wraps his arms around you the moment you get close enough to him. “Chaeyeon’s not going home?” he asks as Seungmin waves at him.

“They’re going for a drink,” you explain, booping his nose with yours. Jisung is going to concentrate on his audition and wants to spend some time with all of you before going M.I.A for a while. You wanted to join, but you knew Hyunjin was waiting for you and wouldn’t be in the mood for socializing. Today was the first time you saw Hyunjin incredibly upset after two years, and luckily your friends think it’s important to console him.

“When’s Mina coming back from New York?” he asks. Mina is currently on tour with her ballet company, and you know that affects Hyunjin more than he wants to admit. One of his best friends is cementing her position as a top dancer, something he desperately wants to pursue as well.

“Probably next month. Hopefully Jisung and Chan pass the preliminary round so Mina will get a chance to see them perform live,” you mutter, squishing his face with your hands when he starts to pout. “How are you feeling?”

Hyunjin sighs as you release your hold on his face. He seems hesitant to tell you; Jungjin is a topic you guys never talk about after high school ended. “I was just… mad. I thought I was doing okay. I no longer want to punch a wall everytime I see him on TV or billboards. I thought I forgave him.” He pulls at his hair in frustration. “But when Chan brought him up… I’m sorry. I ruined the night, didn’t I?”

“It’s fine. Forgiving someone who did something horrible to you isn’t easy. It needs time,” you reassure him. “But will you-”

“I will,” Hyunjin cuts you. “I’ll call Jisung later.”

“You have to stop doing that.”

“What?”

“Reading my mind. Only Seungmin can do that.”

Hyunjin laughs, giving you one last kiss on your cheek before pushing you towards the building. “Good night, Y/N,” he says. You smile at him, your heart feeling heavy as he turns around. This is the beginning of another break down, you can feel it. Hyunjin hasn’t been like himself lately, and what happened tonight only makes it worse.

“Jinjin!” you call out, running to catch up with him. You grab his hand, tiptoeing to capture his lips with yours. Hyunjin rests his hand on the small of your back, bending down so you don’t need to stretch your body. He sighs, trying to whisper how much he loves you in between the kiss. His eyes look slightly brighter when you pull away. “What is this? Usually I’m the one stealing kisses from you,” he asks in an amused tone. You place another kiss on the corner of his lips, hoping that your next few words will make a little difference.

“I’m here for you, Jinjin,” you whisper.

Hyunjin chuckles, light and happy and you’re praying that it will always sound like that.

“I know.”

-

Jisung and Chan turn out to be the biggest sensations on Show Me the Money, with the show constantly highlighting their friendly rivalry and sweet bromance. Tonight is the semifinal, and Jisung has invited all of you to watch him perform live. “If I get eliminated, at least I’ll have people to cry with later,” he said.

Hyunjin has gone full hip-hop for tonight, sporting a black shirt and ripped jeans with a metal lip ring adorning his bottom lip. He’s wearing his usual silver cross necklace along with some new ones, and also a white bucket hat. You don’t know whether you should be embarrassed, but you gotta admit that your boyfriend looks hot. “Will we get to see Zico? Will the producers come out?” He cranes his neck to see the stage better, his hand resting on your hips.

Chaeyeon, who’s also gone full hip-hop with her black leather jacket , stockings, and denim shorts, is pumped up with equal excitement. “I don’t think so but they’re supposed to be backstage? We’re basically breathing the same air!”

“There are a lot of hip-hop concerts and festivals you can go to, you don’t need to embarrass us like this,” Seungmin comments. You laugh, trying to ignore other girls (and boys) who keep checking Hyunjin out.

“Have you been to one?” you ask, waving at Mina when you spot her entering the venue. “I’ve been to hundreds,” Seungmin corrects you, causing Hyunjin and Chaeyeon to immediately whip their heads to him. “What? Day6 isn’t the only band I like.”

The conversation is cut short as the MC appears and Mina joins you. All of you scream on the top of your lungs throughout Jisung’s performance, in which he spits fire and exudes such a mindblowing charisma that everyone here will never even imagine that Han Jisung a.k.a J.One gets blasted by all of you (especially Chaeyeon) at least twice a day.

“If he keeps this up, he can really advance to final round, don’t you think?” you whisper to Hyunjin, who’s not bouncing up and down anymore. He’s focused on Jisung, following his every movement. The audience cheers as the song ends, shouting “J.One! J.One! J.One” so loudly you think you’re going deaf. Hyunjin keeps his eyes on the stage, watching Jisung saluting the crowd as the lights go out.

He’s looking at the stage with so much longing and sadness, and the familiar feeling of seeing someone you love falling into a limbo tugs at your heartstrings.

-

“There’s something wrong with Hyunjin.”

You look up from your book to see Jeongin standing in front of you with a worried face. “It started a while back, but I thought he was just stressed with assignments or something.”

“What happened?” you croak, wanting to hear everything while expecting Jeongin to say that he’s joking. You and Hyunjin haven’t really been talking these days, mainly because he constantly shuts you out while you feel like giving up.

You’re not giving up on Hyunjin. Not now, not ever!

Jeongin bites his lips, trying to relay the information as calmly as possible. “At first he was just mumbling nonsense in his sleep. Then he started shouting, I can’t describe it but it was really scary,” he says. “He does nothing but working on his assignments. Like, can you imagine Hyunjin being studious? He won’t even talk to me. When I asked him why he was all serious and gloomy, he said he’s trying not to get lost.”

Lost. This is it. The beginning of the end.

“I don’t want to be rude but, are you guys fighting?”

You shake your head. “He’s just… a bit stressed out, that’s all. I’m just giving him space.”

“I think Hyunjin needs you, Y/N.”

You know that. You fully understand how much Hyunjin needs you right now. It’s just, it’s hard. It’s hard for you to constantly trying to cheer him up, to make him know that everything’s going to okay.

“If Hyunjin makes you worried, if his behavior is stressing you out, you can ask to get a new roommate, Jeongin. It’s okay,” you tell him, but Jeongin scoffs. “I’m staying. This is our Hyunjin, Y/N. I’ll figure things out if you don’t want to.”

Jeongin doesn’t even look at you during the entire lecture. You, meanwhile, keep looking at his direction, hoping he’ll give you a chance to explain yourself. But do you even know how to explain your feelings to yourself? You’re never good at the whole “I’ll always be there for you” thing; you always want to run when things get hard. You avoid everything, as if nothing is more important than living without worries.

You’ve promised Hyunjin so many times that you’ll always hold his hand, to never let go. But now you’re not sure anymore.

-

felix: park jinyoung is back in korea

felix: i think you should know

felix: he just called me. asked for your number

You nearly drop your phone when you read Felix’s message. Jinyoung left Korea shortly before you moved to JYP High. Shortly after you broke up with him. You know he didn’t leave only because of you, but if you stayed by his side, maybe he wouldn’t have left.

y/n: did you give him to him

y/n: felix

felix: you know theres no way i’d tell him “y/n has a new bf now pls move on” right

felix: you cant avoid him forever

y/n: i know

Hyunjin is sitting in front of you, looking out of the window while sipping his Americano. “Baby?” he calls out, tapping your fingers. You look up, forcing yourself to smile when you meet his tired eyes. You decided to pay him a visit at his dorm while Jeongin is out of town with his friends.

“Yeah?”

“Something bothering you?” he asks.

“What? Nothing.”

“You sure?”

“I should be the one asking you that,” you say sternly. Hyunjin frowns, snatching your phone from you. He opens Felix’s messages, and his eyes become darker as he reads all the recent messages. You reach for his hand, trying to get your phone back. “Hyunjin.”

“Who’s Park Jinyoung?” he demands.

“No one.”

“Your ex-boyfriend? Or are you cheating on me?”

“Hyunjin, please.”

He stops, handing your phone back to you before crossing his arms. You never meant to keep Jinyoung a secret, but you’re not proud of what you did to him. It only reminds you of how selfish you are, how bad of a person you are.

“Jinyoung was my boyfriend in high school,” you explain. “During the 11th grade he and his brother got into a car accident. He survived, his brother didn’t.”

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything, but signals you to continue. “I cared about Jinyoung, I really did. I still do, but he wasn’t the same anymore after the accident.”

“Anyone wouldn’t be okay after such a tragedy, I know. It didn’t make me like him any less, but then he… refused to talk to anyone and kept throwing tantrums. I tried to help him, but after a few months I couldn’t take it anymore. I gave up.”

You finally have the nerve to look into Hyunjin’s eyes although what you’re going to say is going to break his heart. “I broke up with him. I told him I couldn’t stay anymore.”

“I’m sorry, Hyunjin. I know I shouldn’t have done that. I feel so, so sorry. You must be disappointed-”

“Is that why you’re with me now?” he cuts you off. “Because you feel sorry for me? Because you want to redeem yourself?”

He stands up, eyes brimming up with tears as he walks towards his door and opens it. “I knew it,” he mutters through gritted teeth. “Poor Hwang Hyunjin got bullied and now he’s all fucked!” he shouts.

“You’re not, Hyunjin. You can still dance again—”

“I don’t want to disappoint my parents, okay?! I’m all they have so I can’t do whatever I want just because I feel like it.”

Hyunjin is already crying at this point, and you’ve never felt this broken before. The past two years feel like a dream, a sweet dream you both refuse to wake up from. Reality bites, and it bites you hard.

“You didn’t even ask why I chose to go to college,” he quivers. “I told myself that I would stop dancing after high school. No more training. No more auditioning. I have to get myself together. For them. For you.”

Hyunjin takes a deep breath before gripping your shoulders. His next words feel like knives jabbing at your heart. “If you can’t handle me anymore, you can leave. You’re tired, aren’t you?”

You desperately want to tell him no. I love you, Hyunjin, you’re not a burden.

But nothing comes out.

-

“How have you been?”

You wish you can choose not to answer that question, but you smile, hoping that it will conceal the sorrow in your eyes. “I’ve been okay. How about you?”

Jinyoung clasps his hands together as if expecting your response. He only stares at you, like he’s rehearsing a scenario in his head. “I’m fine. Much better,” he answers, and you release the breath you didn’t know you’ve been holding.

“Look, Y/N. I just want to apologize for everything I did back in high school. It must’ve been tough for you.”

You shake your head while he’s smiling at you, as if knowing how you’ll react—once again. “No, Jinyoung. I’m sorry for leaving you when you needed me the most.”

The Jinyoung sitting in front of you right now is the extreme opposite of the Jinyoung you left. He’s no longer drowned. He’s no longer lost. He’s alive and well and whole, like the first love you cherished and treasured.

“I was angry at you for a long time,” Jinyoung confesses. “One day I found my old phone, the one I used before we broke up.”

“I read all the messages you sent me. You asked me whether I ate, whether I felt okay. You panicked when I skipped school. You apologized; damn you kept saying sorry although I was the one being an asshole.”

“It’s okay. You were grieving—”

“That’s not a reason,” Jinyoung says. “I thought I was the most miserable person on Earth. Maybe I was, to some extent. But then I realized that you were hurting too. You were close to my brother as well.”

“I wasn’t the only one who lost him. You did too. And then you lost me.”

Jinyoung chuckles when he sees you tearing up. “Don’t cry,” he coos, patting your head. “I thought I was alone, that nobody understood me. But you were there. Felix was there. Everybody was trying to understand me.”

“Felix told me you have a boyfriend now?” he asks.

You almost nod your head. “I don’t know anymore.”

Jinyoung smiles knowingly (now that you think about it, Jinyoung really reminds you of Seungmin), offering you tissues to wipe your tears. “You’ll figure it out, you’re not a bad person, Y/N. I’ll testify for you if you need me to!”

No matter what side you’re on—good or evil, love or hate, truth or lie—the choices will always be there, ready to attack you at the most unpredictable time. You won’t call yourself a good person; God you probably don’t deserve even half the things you have right now. But you’re going to fight for them. You’re going to fight for Hyunjin.

So you smile, and this time it’s a genuine one.

-

“When are you guys going home?” Seungmin nags, glaring at you and Chaeyeon who are sprawled on his bed, laughing at random Instagram videos. The two of you barged into his house two hours ago, completely sabotaging his study session… on purpose.

“Come on, Kim Seungmin, get a life!” Chaeyeon replies as you sit up, eyeing him from head to toe. “You seem totally out of it. You okay?”

“Why won’t I be okay?”

Seungmin doesn’t really bottle up his emotions anymore, but there are times when he scares you with how flatly he dismisses questions about his well-being. “You’re not going through the same crisis as Hyunjin, are you?”

Chaeyeon sits up at your question, and Seungmin laughs. “I’m fine. I work hard, but I also play hard.”

“By going to hundreds of hiphop concerts?” Chaeyeon teases.

He rolls his eyes at her. “I have other friends, for God’s sake. Didn’t you guys see all my Instagram updates?”

When neither of you responds, Seungmin grabs a notebook from his desk. He flips through the pages quickly before stopping on a page full of flowcharts and notes. “I’m starting a project. I hope I can somehow use this as my graduation project. If not, well then, I’m screwed.”

Chaeyeon takes the notebook from him, humming in approval as she reads all the details. “You’re starting a website? For kids like us? What do you mean?”

“I went through so much shit after I told my parents I wanted to become a baseball player,” Seungmin explains. “Then I got into singing, but I never want to go through that again. It was hard, but things got better eventually. I enjoy what I’m doing now.” He turns to you. “So, to answer your question, no. I’m not going through the same thing Hyunjin is dealing with now.”

You give him a playful smirk. “Although Seo Changbin signed with KIA Tigers?”

“Although Seo Changbin signed with KIA Tigers.”

Chaeyeon fakes a yawn while she, in fact, is hiding a smile. “Sooo… in conclusion?”

“There are kids like me, and then there are kids like Hyunjin, who will never be able to live peacefully before doing what they’re really passionate about,” he continues. “There are kids like Jisung who can be so confident and insecure all at once.”

“In conclusion, I want to create a space for everybody. To let them know that there will always be a place for them no matter what kind of shit they’re dealing with. That’s it. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk!”

Now Seungmin is exchanging looks with Chaeyeon, and you figure it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room.

“Let me get this clear. You and Hyunjin didn’t break up, right?” Chaeyeon asks, munching on the potato chips she’s sharing with Seungmin.

“None of us said that word, but I don’t think that’s important now.”

“How is that not important?” Chaeyeon presses, and suddenly you realize how weird the situation is. You’re talking about your relationship with Hyunjin with Chaeyeon—who had feelings for Hyunjin and Seungmin—who had feelings for you.

“Let’s talk about that later.”

“Y/N.”

Chaeyeon sighs, grabbing your slumped shoulder so she can look directly into your eyes. “I had a crush on Hyunjin. You love Hyunjin. That’s a whole different case. You can talk to me.”

“I didn’t sing in front of the whole school for you guys to break up like this,” Seungmin says, causing you to blush when you remember that he dedicated Day6’s First Time to you. You have to admit that you haven’t listened to the song ever since he did that.

“I let Hyunjin down.”

“Everyone lets somebody down,” Seungmin replies.

“Yeah. Thesedays Jisung always calls me in the wee hours in the morning and I never pick up. Now he’s sulking."

“Lee Chaeyeon, you and Jisung are practically dating.”

“We’re not!”

Seungmin mimics Chaeyeon’s expression before punching her shoulder playfully. “He’s just too scared to confess and you’re just too proud to admit that you like him.”

“Stop it!”

-

Jeongin has bombarded you with messages, but all of them can be summed up into one sentence: Hwang Hyunjin is a mess. You’ve been waiting for the right time to talk to him, but now you find it ironic.

You’re looking, searching, yearning for the right time while losing it at the same time.

After Seungmin and Chaeyeon convinced you to stop dragging this around, you finally texted Hyunjin. Now you’re alone in the middle of the night, reading Hyunjin’s simple “okay” after you asked him to meet you at a small playground near your dormitory where you often hang out together. A familiar shadow walks in your direction, and before you can stop yourself, you have run towards it.

Luckily, it does turn out to be Hyunjin.

“Hey.”

He stops, frowning when he notices that you’re not wearing any jacket. “It’s cold,” he comments in a disapproving tone, but you only shake your head. “I’m fine.”

“Y/N.”

“We have more important things to talk about than me not wearing jacket, Hwang Hyunjin.”

“Okay,” he replies, leading you to one of the benches. Hyunjin takes off his jacket and drapes it around your shoulders. You inhale, staring into his tired eyes and you want to kill yourself for making him even more miserable than he already is.

“I’m in love with you,” you mutter, using the exact same words he used when he first confessed to you. Hyunjin blinks before averting his gaze to a stray dog near the bushes. “How can you be in love with me? Not the one everyone knows, but me.”

“Because you’re my Hyunjin. I love the smiley, clingy, energetic, hard-working, brave, and somehow flirty Hyunjin. But then I realized that even if you’re struggling or stressing out or feeling lost… you’re still you. You’re still the one I’m in love with.”

“Who do you talk to when you feel sad?” he asks firmly. “Not me, right?”

Hyunjin’s eyes don’t seem tired anymore. They’re now burning with anger, and you have no idea how to respond to that. He then pulls you into his embrace, caressing your hair softly although you can feel how upset he is. “I wanted to be angry at you but this is happening because of me. You’re tired, sad, and confused because of me. I’m dragging you down.”

“You’re not,” you counter. “There are times when I’m lost too, Hyunjin. But no, I don’t want to leave.”

He pulls away, sighing as you smile at him. “I’m sorry,” he pleads. “Am I being selfish if I still want to start over? I want to take care of you, Y/N. I want to listen to your rambles, I want to eat ice cream at 1AM during winter with you, and I want to wake up to you calling me Jinjin. But I also want to hug you when you feel sad, I want to hear all your problems, I want to help you solve them. Just like what you’ve been doing for me all this time.”

He starts to smile as well when yours get wider. “No,” you answer, tucking your head in the crook of his neck. “That means you love me.”

“I do,” he quickly says, wrapping his arms around you again like he’s afraid that you will change your mind. “I don’t deserve you, but will you let me try?”

You hum, relishing the comfort of his body heat as he lifts you so that you’ll sit on his lap. “Do you want me to sneak you inside the dorm?” Hyunjin offers, trying to take out his phone from his back pocket.

“You have a ball of sass as your roommate,” you remind him. Jeongin will roast you for another fifty years if you end up sneaking in and kicking him out of his own room, even though you’re sure that Hyunjin will have to endure more than that.

After making exaggerated scenarios of how Jeongin will react if Hyunjin really ends up bringing you back, you spend the rest of the night curling up in Hyunjin’s arms, constantly checking if there are people around. Your boyfriend, meanwhile, makes it clear that he doesn’t give a damn. He kisses your cheeks every 2 minutes (you’re shamelessly counting and proud of it), listening to all sorts of stories you tell him.

“What are you going to do now? Are you going to drop out?”

“No. I haven’t told my parents anything,” Hyunjin states. “I’ll just start dancing again for now.”

He shifts under you, lifting your chin to look into your eyes. “Are you feeling better?” he whispers, his gaze mirroring his shaky voice.

“You’re here. How can I not feel better?”

Hyunjin beams at you as he leans closer to crash his lips on yours. “I’ve missed you,” he rasps, cupping your face to kiss you harder. You want to reply, but everytime his lips make contact with yours, you feel dizzy. Hyunjin whines when you’re pulling away, so you comply, letting him kiss you more slowly. He then trails open-mouthed kisses along your jawline and neck before nipping your collarbone. “Jinjin,” you call out breathlessly.

He looks up. “Hmm?”

“Just promise me one thing.” You reach for his hand, feeling his slender fingers wrap yours in an instant. “Don’t ever let me go.”

“I promise.”

-

“You’re friends with CB97 and never told me about it. I’m rioting!” Jeongin stomps his feet on the ground as he has his ticket checked. Jisung and Chan are Show Me the Money’s newest winner and runner-up respectively, and the two are inviting all of you to their first solo concert.

Felix is recording his surroundings with his phone, pushing Jeongin’s head out of his way as he’s shooting the empty stage. “Jisung will take photos with us, right Y/N?”

“Why are you so obsessed with taking photos with Jisung?” Hyunjin shudders. “I swear it’s nothing special.”

The freckled boy points at his phone. “Gotta do it for the ‘gram, man.”

Mina, who just arrived in Seoul this morning, waves her phone in front of you and Hyunjin. “I have a surprise for you, Hwang Hyunjin!” she squeals as Chaeyeon grabs her phone to read news from an entertainment website.

“Ballerina Myoui Mina has been added to the Dancing with the Stars lineup,” she reads loudly. Seungmin, Jeongin, and Felix clap at this while you and Chaeyeon are grinning, knowing what the news is about.

“When asked about whom her partner, she said,” Chaeyeon pauses, gesturing at Mina to deliver the good news herself.

Mina clears her throat. “She said, ‘This has never been done before but I begged the producers to cast a friend of mine.’ “

Hyunjin perks up at the word friend, but says nothing while Seungmin mutters a surprised, “Ah!”

“’And that friend is my best friend from high school, Hwang Hyunjin.’”

All of you gather around Hyunjin, giving him a tight group hug. Other people are eyeing you with annoyance but none of you cares. Seungmin and Jeongin are beyond ecstatic, trying to attack the tall boy with kisses.

“Myoui Mina!” Hyunjin exclaims as he shoves Jeongin off. “You’re the best!” he shouts, causing Mina to laugh. Everyone has realized that the graceful and famous Mina is here in the middle of audience; they’re now snapping photos of her while whispering to each other. 

“Oh anyways, I also have a surprise for you.” Hyunjin takes out his phone to show you a poster of Lee Jungjin. “He’s holding a concert. I’ve booked tickets for us.”

You squeal, smooching his cheek hard. “I’m proud of you. So proud.”

The music is getting louder and soon, Jisung appears on stage. He just stands there, looking at his fans with so much gratitude. “He’s looking at them like that but can you guys guess what he’s thinking about?” Chaeyeon asks.

“Hmm… he’s forgetting his lyrics?” Seungmin guesses.

Jeongin adds, “He forgot his lyrics and now writing the new one inside his head.”

“This is Han Jisung we’re talking about,” Chaeyeon scoffs. “Pay attention. He wants to pee.”

You snort, about to voice out a witty reply but Jisung has greeted the audience. “Chan and I originally wanted to start with a club banger. But then we decided to dedicate our first and last songs to our loved ones, especially to our friends and family who are here today.”

He points at your direction, waving back at Mina who can barely contain her excitement. “I started writing this song during high school, when I was insecure and unsure about what I wanted to do,” Jisung continues. “I just found out recently that I never finished writing it, so I did it and now I’m going to perform it for the first time.”

The crowd goes wild as the instrumental starts to play. “This is for my friends, my family; the ones who never leave no matter how many times I’ve made them worried.”

“Also, Lee Chaeyeon!”

Jisung stops to locate Chaeyeon, smiling when he finds his girlfriend fiddling with the hem of her blouse, feeling uncomfortable with the attention she’s getting. “Don’t worry, you’ll hear the song I wrote just for you later.”

He smirks, eyes glinting with mischief that always annoys Chaeyeon. “I’m breaking up with him,” she mutters through gritted teeth while glancing at her shoes. “I set my Instagram to private because of this bastard and his popularity and now he’s embarrassing me in public! He’s dead.”

Mina giggles, forcing her to look at the stage because Jisung continues to stare at her (and all of you). When Chaeyeon finally looks up, he gives her a different kind of smile you’ve never seen before. “This is ‘I See,’” he announces.

“Truthfully I’m very much weak-hearted

If the night is really dark, I’ll be too scared to sleep.”

Hyunjin glances at you, who’s burying your face in his chest because you’re crying. He chuckles, wrapping his arm around you. “Was this one of the songs you read on his notebook?” You nod, sobbing harder as Chaeyeon approaches you with teary eyes. She hugs you from the side, crying along with you.

“Eh eh thank you for worrying about me.

Thank you!”

Soon, all of you are huddled together, with the girls crying and the boys cursing at Jisung for making them cry too. “I can’t believe I’m tearing up at what Han Jisung is rapping,” Seungmin sniffles, smacking Hyunjin on his back when the latter laughs at him.

Jisung crouches down as he gets to the last few lines, wiping his own tears. “He’s already crying and it’s only the first song. Unbelievable,” Chaeyeon sobs.

“Just wait right there, I’ll reach it someday

Stop the clock for a while

The flower will blossom someday

This rocky fantasy

I’ll make sure that I’ll reach that mirage and catch you.”

“J.ONEEEEEEEEE!” you shout as the song comes to an end. You look at each of your friends; Felix who’s gone through everything with you, Mina who’s helped you to feel better about yourself, Seungmin who’s sacrificed a lot for everyone, Chaeyeon and Jeongin who have always been honest to you, and Jisung who’s made you feel loved and appreciated.

And then there’s Hyunjin.

He may not always be the dreamy, mesmerizing Hyunjin you fell in love with back in high school. But this Hyunjin—the one who’s facing his demons, the one who’s showering you with more and more love each day, the one who’s fighting for his dreams—is the Hyunjin whom you want to spend the rest of your life with.

“Mina, will you take a photo with me too?” Felix suddenly asks as Chan enters the stage.

“Lee Felix, stop being such a fanboy!” you protest.

Mina nods, flashing Felix her sweetest smile. “Sure! Who else wants a pic with me?”

Seungmin turns to Felix, wiggling his finger in front him. “Don’t do it,” he warns. “I did that once and my comment section was flooded with my friends asking me to introduce them to her.”

“Shut up!” Chaeyeon snaps. “Please appreciate my boyfriend who’s invited all of you to this holy concert.” 

“You want to break up with him, remember?” Hyunjin jokes.

Everyone bursts into a hearty laugh, and you realize how far all of you have come. You and your best friends have survived many obstacles together, and you’re sure there will be more hardships in the future. But you’ll be fine. You have each other, and it’s safe to say that all of you have made a silent promise to always hold each other’s hands. To never let go.

-

* a convenience store in Korea

AND THATS IT!!!! I’ve finished the most tiring project ever. I hope you can somehow relate to this and feel better about yourself. I really love our little group of friends, I love writing about them a lot. Oh, the translation for I See’s lyrics (this is one of Jisung’s solo mixtape anyways!) belongs to @/seungmnis on Twitter! 

[hyunlixsung]

MIROH // Hyunjin 1

Here it is part one of Miroh. This will be a chapter story changing point of view ever chapter so look out for who’s next!

Mindset. It’s all about mindset. From the moment you wake up, to the moment you rest your head in dreams. Everything your emotions, thoughts, perceptions, reactions, and actions are up to you. Every moment is yours to destroy or thrive. You cannot go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. We will fight this war and win. We shall become the storm.

Aera’s log

When the corruption began I don’t even know. I just remember the day so vividly. Like a switch was flipped. Every citizen was to get an embedded name ID in their skin. The rules came after. No soliciting. Curfew at 11 pm. No removal of the ID. Follow orders. Do as your told. Stay out of the way. Most importantly do not cross the government leaders. As corrupt as they were it was better to shut your mouth than to undergo whatever sick punishment they could conjure up.

We went on about our lives with the changes in place, but sooner or later the system was becoming injust. It is the people’s right to crumble the injust system of government. A rebellion first began by a group that called themselves BlackPink. Four girls had tried to overthrow the government, but they were unsuccessful. Forced to surrender on their knees and they became pawns of the government. A reminder of what happens when you mess with them. Limbs replaced by metal like a robot. They broke them down to pieces until there was only a shell left of them. Rumor has it some of them escaped, but the government didn’t even bother to look for them. That’s how bad they were beat down. My guess is that they died and didn’t get very far.

That was four years ago and today everyone is more careful and you never know who is on your side. I’m not technically an actual member of the rebellion, but my boyfriend is. Hwang Hyunjin was meticulous, precise, intelligent, and devilishly handsome. We had been together for two years now. It started when I had been out past curfew. My sister was terribly ill and mama couldn’t run the risk of trying to get herbs let alone medicine so I volunteered to go out. It was risky and punishment could range from a warning to whips to being roboticized depending on the guard. I knew the risks and I still went out for those herbs.

I had carefully memorized the schedule, but I made a mistake. A guard had been on duty and I don’t know what he would’ve done if it weren’t for Hyunjin. He saved me and even helped me gather herbs for my sister. After he had helped me he proposed I give him something in return and that was a date. The rest is history and here we are two years later. Now remember when I said I wasn’t technically a member of the rebellion? It’s cause I wasn’t at the time. Hyunjin is protective of me. I know what he’s doing is dangerous. He and eight other boys call themselves skz and they are the head of the rebellion. They use the shut off underground subway to scheme up their plans. Something big must’ve been coming as Hyunjin insisted I leave the city. Well that and the disappearance of skz leader’s fiance Cheyanne and two other members, Jeongin and Seungmin’s girlfriends Kira and Araya. She disappeared around two weeks ago without a trace. The idea came up fairly recently, but he insisted further.

Not going to lie. We argued, a lot. My safety was his number one priority and I reluctantly left the city to finally reunite with my mom and sister without his knowledge. It was now or never and I chose now and I wasn’t alone. Siyeon, Minho’s girlfriend, had joined me as he kept introducing the idea and the opportunity was too perfect to pass up as the guards excessively questioned people leaving the city and we had to be secretive about it. Not to mention we had gotten rid of our ID’s on our arms and there was sure to be punishment for that. So we left without telling anyone and we headed south. We had been city hopping further and further from the capital and we hadn’t been as aware as we probably should have been. We ended up in the wrong part of the city and apparently someone’s territory. It didn’t take them long to find us and realize we weren’t from around here. We were approached by a girl with long brown hair and literal puppy eyes. She introduced herself as Sana and thought we would do well in their crew. We accepted and she introduced us to the crew. Well one half of the crew.

They called themselves Twice. There was two leaders both in separate sectors of the city. My crew consisted of Siyeon, Sana, Momo, Jeongyeon, and Nayeon. We took orders from Nayeon and Nayeon only. The other leader Jihyo was in the other sector and I wasn’t to worry what would happen with her. Nayeon trained us hard. We became stronger mentally and physically. Eventually we were to pass a test. It had everything. Obstacle course, ploy guards, weapons, all of the above. Our mission was to take down the guard without being caught by the other guards and we had managed to pass the test successfully. Nayeon rewarded us and officially welcomed us to the Twice crew. We were to get code names as we ran the risk of being known by name. From then on I was to be called Xany and Siyeon was to be known as Silo. The six of us made a great team and we worked well together. Too bad communication didn’t reach to the other half of Twice very well.

---

Jihyo had been checking the guards schedule and making sure the leaders were still in the capital when she got the call. She stared at the cell phone seeing a familiar number flash across the screen, but you could never be too careful. Her voice was hard as she picked up the call.

“Who is this?” Sternness oozed from her tone.

“Jihyo come on you know me.”

The girl scoffed. “State your name.”

She didn’t have to see her old friend to know he had rolled his eyes in annoyance. “CB97.”

“Well, well. What do I owe the pleasure to for the Bang Chan to be calling me of all people?”

“Very funny Jihyo. Look we got a problem on our hands.”

Jihyo sat up ready to hear it. “Lay it on me.”

“You know how two weeks ago my fiance disappeared?” You could hear the anger in his voice as he said that. There would definitely be hell to pay.

“Yeah we’ve been looking and so far nothing.” Jihyo typed on her computer and found nothing relating to Cheyanne.

“Well it isn’t about her this time.”

“What do you mean?” Jihyo questioned skeptical.

“Hyunjin and Minho’s girlfriends are missing.”

Jihyo felt her blood run cold. “How long ago and their names.” She was ready to type.

“It’s been three days since they’ve been M.I.A. Aera and Siyeon.” Chan sounded frustrated.

“I don’t have anything on them Chan. They’ve been off the government’s radar for more than a few days. You’re sure they haven’t been missing longer?”

“No. Hyunjin talked to her four days ago. He went to see her and she was gone. Without a trace.”

“Interesting. I’ll keep a lookout for you.”

“Thanks Jihyo. Were still a go in a month right?”

“Correct. Nine am sharp we will be there. I’ve been waiting for this day for so long.”

“It’s long overdue, but planning the destruction of a corrupt government takes time. You got Nayeon in the loop?”

“Sure do.” Jihyo sent a confirmation text to Nayeon just to make sure. “We’re a go. Cheers to overthrowing a government Chan. See you soon.”

“See you soon Jihyo.”

Jihyo sighed staring at the pictures of the two newly missing skz girlfriends to add to the list. She would be sure to keep a lookout for them.

---

Aera’s log

It was go time. Nayeon had been preparing us for this for about a month and I’ve never trained harder for anything in my life. I was ready to destroy a corrupt government once and for all. We had taken the train to the capital successfully. It was nine am exactly when we began our attack. The rebellion swarmed the leaders capturing them one at a time. I shot forward tackling one of the leaders and pinning him to the ground. I grinned fueled by adrenaline as I tackled the nearest guard to my left. I threw punches left and right until I was sure he wasn’t gonna wake up any time soon. I wasn’t about to murder somebody. Leave that to someone else to deal with. As I continued to take down guards I failed to realize the familiar faces in the crowd watching with disbelief.

---

Jihyo smirked in satisfaction as she watched the rebels take down guards. She saw her team as well as Nayeon’s detain guards and then she saw someone she’s never seen before. She elbowed Jeongyeon and pointed at the new girl.

“Who’s that?” Jihyo whispered.

“Oh meet our newest recruits. Xany and Silo.” Jeongyeon grinned like a proud mom.

“Wait recruits? As in PLURAL?!”

“Uh huh. They are awesome you’ll love them.” Jeongyeon ran off narrowly dodging Seungmin.

Seungmin turned in the direction Jihyo was staring in and his eyes widened. “Aera?!”

---

I sprinted at another guard and letting all my anger out on him. Once I was sure he wasn’t getting back up I spun around and shot a paralyzing dart into another one’s thigh smirking. I ran across the now battlefield rushing to Siyeon’s aid. As I sprinted I narrowly missed a familiar boy, but no time to waste on trying to recognize him let alone have a second look. Once Sana wasn’t in immediate danger, I met up with Siyeon.

“Are you ready to infiltrate that building and save our babies?” Siyeon panted as we ran to the building.

“They are gonna pay. Kira and Araya better not have one single scratch on them or I swear to god somebody isn’t leaving this place alive.” I hissed.

We never made it to the building though. Momo had intercepted us telling us they weren’t there.

“What do you MEAN nobody is there?!” Siyoen screeched in disbelief.

“I mean what I said. Nobody is there I checked!”

That couldn’t be. They were supposed to be there and yet they weren’t. It didn’t make sense. I felt dizzy with confusion, but my train of thought was interrupted by a very familiar voice full of disbelief.

“Aera?!”