#don’t expect quality i’m writing merely to stretch my brain muscles
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beneath the surface : xiao
pair: xiao x reader info: general audiences, sport injuries, past experiences of drowning, modern au, intentionally lowercase, not proofread
summary: your love for diving is tested, and xiao doesn’t make quitting easy either.
word count: 1.1k words series: day 1 of au august 2023 / prompt: sports links: work tag
“watch,” the sports anchor says as the crowd at the olympic hall hushes.
you shut your eyes and take a deep breath. this isn’t just any ordinary diver—it’s olympic diver xiao from liyue. he broke as much bones as he did for records in diving. this is a chance you don’t want to miss, yet seeing him wobble his weight on the flimsy board makes your palms sweaty.
you can feel the tension of the board beneath you, experience the rush of air as he leaps. you are no foreign to the procedure as a diver yourself.
breath hitched in your throat, you lean forward as he does his twist and jumps, but before he can rip the water, you find yourself victim to fear. you close your eyes and cover your ears. the audience roars. only then do you release that breath you held, and watch in awe as xiao’s dark hair breaks through the water’s surface.
shamefully, you look down, avoiding the heavy gaze of your coach that brought you here to teach you a lesson, one you know but find hard to execute.
thinking about it attracts pain in your knees to return. you press them together, a hand over your right knee as your fingers graze over the scar.
“graceful, isn’t he?” your coach says, arms crossed. “to think he had an ankle sprain a few weeks before this dive.”
you nod slowly, unsure what you should say. you can’t promise your coach anything, not when you’ve yet to win your fears.
it’s uncomfortable to hear him remain quiet as the background cheers. the announcer releases xiao’s marks. no surprise he jumps to first place.
“i need to use the washrooms,” you mumble, placing your items down. your coach barely gives you any form of acknowledgement as his eyes are fixed on xiao who does a bow before heading off.
finding an abandoned spot beside the toilet behind the hub, you sit on the floor.
sigh.
you wear your hoodie up, pulling its strings so the edges cover your face.
the longer you stall the harder it is for your body to return. your coach was right that you had to make your decision now.
you do love diving, but when you tore your ACL, the months in the hospital were a perfect place to begin reflecting if you’re willing to do it again.
and you did, but you didn’t love diving to the extent you’d go through such pains a third time.
your career, although amounting to nothing compared to xiao’s, was still something, and your coach had faith if you pushed past this mental barrier as all divers do with the waters before their dive, then you’d go big.
“bigger than xiao?” you asked once.
“of course not,” the coach said. “you can’t even go through an ACL tear twice, you think you can experience it 5 times?”
a slap to the face, but a little reassuring that you wouldn’t dethrone your idol.
something cold touches your hoodie and wets it. you bring it down to give whoever who messed with you a strong glare, only to meet with amber eyes and familiar mess of dark hair.
it’s a sports drink, fresh from the vending machine a few meters down. xiao’s holding it, arms outstretched towards you.
“… thank you,” you mutter as you take it.
“how’s your knee?” he asks, arms in his pockets. he changed from his swimsuit to his casual clothes fast.
“the news really loved covering it, huh?” you quip as you open the bottle, the fizz of the drink rising.
xiao doesn’t respond to your commentary. just stares, patiently waiting for a reply.
“well, uh,” you add after trying not to be awkward in the silence he brings, “i guess it’s fine. sometimes it feels like i tore it again while doing small tasks, but the doctor inspected it and said it’s healing fine. how’s your ankle?”
he balances his weight on the healthier ankle, then gives his left a twirl.
“it’s recovering.”
“have you ever thought of taking a break?” you ask out of the blue, although this question has haunted you for months. “even with new injuries, you never seem to stop.”
xiao takes the empty spot beside you. it’s crazy to see him so close. the last this happened was when you first tore your ACL at the Olympics. you almost drowned if it wasn’t for him jumping into the waters the moment he noticed something went wrong.
he was also nice enough to volunteer going with you to the hospital. throughout the ambulance ride, he held your hand and told you tips to bear with the pain.
“i don’t know what i’d do if i wasn’t diving,” he answers, voice barely there. “the pain becomes an afterthought soon enough.”
before you can question him further, he stands and makes his leave.
can you see yourself doing anything other than diving?
yes, you can. you have dreams of opening a little cafe at one point in your life. there’s also that dream of using the money earned from diving to travel the world. you can’t be diving forever, right?
head in hands, it dawns on you how isolating xiao’s fame is. to think he has nothing he can look forward to after his career as a diver… it was depressing.
“xiao!” you call out impulsively before his figure disappears. when he turns to you, you find yourself lost for words. would it be out of your place, a mere fan whom he so happened to have exchanged a few words on certain occasions, have any right to say anything?
his dreams; his passions; who he is beyond diving? they are questions that bog your mind every time your eyes land on him. who is the boy behind the poster and newsletter and whatever the news make him out to be?
you fiddle with the ends of your hoodie. time is slipping away yet the words don’t co-operate.
there are too many things to say—
“i owe you two,” you settle in the end.
he looks at you confused.
you raise the drink, then add, “plus, that time you accompanied me to the hospital. after my… accident.”
he nods.
“diving is a dangerous sport,” he says. “if you don’t have to means to bear with the pain behind a diver’s elegance, then don’t. it is not worth.”
and he leaves. you’re alone with the drink and his advice.
it pushes you oh so gently to your preferred answer to your coach, but something tells you that you need to brace whatever impact this career will bring to your weary body if you want the opportunity to repay him what he did to you.
you gulp down the drink like fuel, readying yourself to face your coach who’s probably looking for you right now.
will you regret this?
author's note: first post for au augst! not my best work but i think about this au occasionally. i just think it's so fitting for xiao considering his gameplay and the nature of diving.
#xiao x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#xiao x y/n#xiao x you#genshin x y/n#genshin x you#genshin impact x you#genshin reader insert#genshin impact x y/n#don’t expect quality i’m writing merely to stretch my brain muscles#and also build the habit of writing#i literally wrote this in one sitting#slo.w#.auaugust2023#bts : xiao
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Elephants Quotes
Official Website: Elephants Quotes
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• A camel makes an elephant feel like a jet plane. – Jackie Kennedy • A closed mouth gathers no foot. A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn’t look like an elephant. – David Gries • A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn’t look like an elephant. – George Bernard Shaw • A lot of my dreams have to do with animals I think because I’m such a huge animal lover. I have so many pets. I always have crazy dreams where I’m like riding an elephant through the jungle or hanging out with a bunch of monkeys. – Paris Hilton • A true philosopher is like an elephant; he never puts the second foot down until the first one is solidly in place. – Bernard le Bovier de Fontenelle • Abrams’s Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time. – Paul Dickson • All the religions are true, they just see a different part of the elephant. – George Lucas • Always drawn to the theatric, Bowie also performed in stage productions of “The Elephant Man” and just recently collaborated on “Lazarus,” an off-Broadway musical that’s a sequel to his 1976 role in the film “The Man Who Fell To Earth.” – David Bowie • Americans should never underestimate the constant pressure on Canada which the mere presence of the United States has produced. We’re different people from you and we’re different people because of you. Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is effected by every twitch and grunt. It should not therefore be expected that this kind of nation, this Canada, should project itself as a mirror image of the United States. – Pierre Trudeau • Amid attempts to protect elephants from ivory poachers and dolphins from tuna nets, the rights of children go remarkably unremarked. – Anna Quindlen • And the elephant sings deep in the forest-maze About a star of deathless and painless peace But no astronomer can find where it is. – Ted Hughes • Animals are indeed more ancient, more complex and in many ways more sophisticated than us. They are more perfect because they remain within Nature’s fearful symmetry just as Nature intended. They should be respected and revered, but perhaps none more so than the elephant, the world’s most emotionally human land mammal. – Daphne Sheldrick • As big as an elephant is, a whale is still larger. Everything’s relative. Even gods have their spot on the food chain. – Jim Starlin • Awake. Be the witness of your thoughts. The elephant hauls himself from the mud. In the same way drag yourself out of your sloth. – Gautama Buddha
jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Elephant', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_elephant').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_elephant img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Band of Skulls is joining Cage the Elephant as my new musical caffeine. – Michael Koryta • Be humble as the blade of grass that is being trodden underneath the feet. The little ant tastes joyously the sweetness of honey and sugar. The mighty elephant trembles in pain under the agony of sharp goad – Sivananda • Be wary of passing the judgment: obscure. To find something obscure poses no difficult, elephants and poodles find many things obscure. – Georg C. Lichtenberg • But as the work proceeded I was continually reminded of the fable about the elephant and the tortoise. Having constructed an elephant upon which the mathematical world could rest, I found the elephant tottering, and proceeded to construct a tortoise to keep the elephant from falling. But the tortoise was not more secure than the elephant, and after some twenty years of very arduous toil, I came to the conclusion that there was nothing more that I could do in the way of making mathematical knowledge indubitable. – Bertrand Russell • But if you do not find an intelligent companion, a wise and well-behaved person going the same way as yourself, then go on your way alone, like a king abandoning a conquered kingdom, or like a great elephant in the deep forest. – Gautama Buddha • But my mother loved The Elephant Man, and my father gave David Lynch a scholarship to study in Rome. – Isabella Rossellini • But perhaps the most important lesson I learned is that there are no walls between humans and the elephants except those that we put up ourselves, and that until we allow not only elephants, but all living creatures their place in the sun, we can never be whole ourselves. – Lawrence Anthony • But what humans forget, cells remember. The body, that elephant – Jeffrey Eugenides • China cares about its reputation and doesn’t want to be known as the nation whose preferences drove the extinction of elephants. – Wayne Pacelle • Consider the biggest animals on the planet: elephants, and buffaloes, and giraffes. These are vegetarian animals. They grow to thousands of pounds of muscle and bone without ever eating cheeseburgers and pepperoni pizzas. – Michael Klaper • Currently poaching threatens the very existence of the African Elephant, and my worry is that if we do not act NOW, we could be looking at a future in which this iconic species is wiped out. – Yaya Toure • Dealing with the State Department is like watching an elephant become pregnant. – Franklin D. Roosevelt • Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of. – Sara Gruen • Different persons growing up in the same language are like different bushes trimmed and trained to take the shape of identical elephants. The anatomical details of twigs and branches will fulfill the elephantine form differently from bush to bush, but the overall outward results are alike. – Willard Van Orman Quine • Diplomacy is much like the “lovemaking of elephants”, which is accompanied with a lot of bellowing and other sound effects, but no one can be sure of the consequences for at least the next two years – Shashi Tharoor • Dividing an elephant in half does not produce two small elephants. – Peter Senge • Do not be thoughtless, always be mindful, watch your thoughts! Draw yourself out of the path of evil, like an elephant sunk in mud. – Gautama Buddha • Eat like a bird, poop like an elephant. – Guy Kawasaki • Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant – Spike Milligan • Elephant Man [movie] was much more difficult physically. This had a couple of days. It was quite tricky. I had my leg strapped up behind me and I am a little older now. It was all marvelous, though. He [Bong Joon-ho] is one of the most fabulous directors in the world. – John Hurt • Elephants and grandchildren never forget. – Andy Rooney • Elephants are contagious. – Paul Eluard • Elephants are highly emotional. Whatever they are feeling, they let it out immediately, and the histrionics are over and forgotten in a moment, lasting no longer than the cloud formations that are constantly coming apart and re-forming overhead. There is no guile in pachyderms. – Alex Shoumatoff • Elephants are living treasures. Nature’s gardeners. Nature’s great teachers. Tragically some people don’t give a damn. They prefer the dead treasure to the living one. The ivory. We must challenge this so-called ‘trade’ with all our might and shame on those who would condone it. – Virginia McKenna • Elephants are my favourite creatures and have been since I was a boy and my mother read Kipling’s The Elephant’s Child to me. It was loving elephants so much that made we want to write my own story with an elephant at the centre and its bond with a child. – Michael Morpurgo • Elephants are so wise and so funny and so endangered and so intelligent. I just think there is a lot to learn from them. – Gloria Steinem • Elephants have a hard time adapting. Cockroaches outlive everything. – Peter Drucker • Elephants have the largest brains of any mammal on the face of the Earth. They are creative, altruistic and kind. – Ingrid Newkirk • Elephants suffer from too much patience. Their exhibitions of it may seem superb,-such power and such restraint, combined, are noble,-but a quality carried to excess defeats itself. – Clarence Day • Employers ganging up against workers is like raising an army of elephants against ants. – Mahatma Gandhi • Even animals have a conscience. Those in the jungle KILL only to eat, not live to kill. This is why we often see packs of predators focusing on just one kill, instead of targeting many. Even animals exercise reason. I have seen a mother lion taking care of a baby antelope, and a mother elephant taking care of a baby lion. The primal need to eat is unavoidable, yet even under severe hunger stretches, the desire to love can sometimes overcome the desire to eat. – Suzy Kassem • Even the elephant carries but a small trunk on his journeys. The perfection of traveling is to travel without baggage. – Henry David Thoreau • Even though the topic [of slavery] itself is the big, screaming elephant in the room, we still get a chance to have fun and enjoy what is on the screen, and we have moments where we’re actually happy. – Aldis Hodge • Every culture from the Egyptians to the Mayans to the American Indians to the Bedouins created bestiaries that enabled them to express their relationship with nature. Ashes and Snow is a 21st-century bestiary filled with species from around the world. Nature’s orchestra includes not just Homo sapiens but elephants, whales, manatees, eagles, cheetahs, orangutans, and many others. – Gregory Colbert • Every Man being conscious to himself, That he thinks, and that which his Mind is employ’d about whilst thinking, being the Ideas, that are there, ’tis past doubt, that Men have in their Minds several Ideas, such as are those expressed by the words, Whiteness, Hardness, Sweetness, Thinking, Motion, Man, Elephant, Army, Drunkenness, and others: It is in the first place then to be inquired, How he comes by them? I know it is a received Doctrine, That Men have native Ideas, and original Characters stamped upon their Minds, in their very first Being. – John Locke • Every theory in philosophy, which is built on pure conjecture, is an elephant; and every theory that is supported partly by fact, and partly by conjecture, is like Nebuchadnezzar’s image, whose feet were partly of iron, and partly of clay. – Thomas Reid • Everything that I love is behind those gates. We have elephants, and giraffes, and crocodiles, and every kind of tigers and lions. And – and we have bus loads of kids, who don’t get to see those things. They come up sick children, and enjoy it. – Michael Jackson • For me to put a look together, if it’s going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is quite a tricky thing to do. I’m not doing drag because drag is seen in a certain way and my comedy has got zero to do with what I’m wearing. I could wear an elephant suit and say the same thing. – Eddie Izzard • General, your tank is a powerful vehicle It smashes down forests and crushes a hundred men. But it has one defect: It needs a driver. General, your bomber is powerful. It flies faster than a storm and carries more than an elephant. But it has one defect: It needs a mechanic. General, man is very useful. He can fly and he can kill. But he has one defect: He can think. – Bertolt Brecht • God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things. – Pablo Picasso • Have you ever been bitten by an elephant? How about a mosquito? It’s the little things in life that will bite you. For most of us, it’s the frequent, small and seemingly inconsequential choices that are of grave concern. – Darren Hardy • ‘Helping industry’ is the elephant pit of socialism, a deep hole with sharp spikes at the bottom, covered over with twigs and fresh grass. – Enoch Powell • How hard can it be to find a girl and an elephant for Christ’s sake? – Sara Gruen • I am persuaded that if the brutes even–if the dog, the horse, the ox, the elephant, the bird, could speak, they would confess, that, at the bottom of their nature, their instincts, their sensations, their obtuse intelligence, assisted by organs less perfect than ours, there is a clouded, secret sentiment of this existence of a superior and primordial Being, from whom all emanates, and to whom all returns. – Alphonse de Lamartine • I am she who lifts the mountains When she goes to hunt, Who wears mamba for a headband And a lion for a belt. Beware! I swallow elephants whole And pick my teeth with rhinoceros horns, I drink up rivers to get at the hippos. Let them hear my words! Nhamo is coming And her hunger is great. I am she who tosses trees Instead of spears. The ostrich is my pillow And the elephant is my footstool! I am Nhamo Who makes the river my highway And sends crocodiles scurrying into the reeds! – Nancy Farmer • I believe that the souls of women flatten and anchor themselves in times of adversity, lay in for the stay. I’ve heard that when elephants are attacked they often run, not away, but toward each other. Perhaps it is because they are a matriarchal society. – Elizabeth Berg • I can watch elephants (and elephants alone) for hours at a time, for sooner or later the elephant will do something very strange… There is mystery behind that masked gray visage, and ancient life force, delicate and mighty, awesome and enchanted, commanding the silence ordinarily reserved for mountain peaks, great fires, and the sea. – Peter Matthiessen • I cannot tell by what logic we call a toad, a bear, or an elephant ugly; they being created in those outward shapes and figures which best express the actions of their inward forms. – Thomas Browne • I couldn’t hit an elephant’s ass with a bull fiddle. – Babe Didrikson Zaharias • I do believe that the party has a bunch of elephants running around in donkey clothes. – Al Sharpton • I do not mean to call an elephant a vulgar animal, but if you think about him carefully, you will find that his nonvulgarity consists in such gentleness as is possible to elephantine nature-not in his insensitive hide, nor in his clumsy foot, but in the way he will lift his foot if a child lies in his way; and in his sensitive trunk, and still more sensitive mind, and capability of pique on points of honor. – John Ruskin • I do not now so much as wish to have the Strength of Youth again that I wish’d in Youth for the Strength of an Ox or Elephant. For it is our Business only to make the best Use we can of the Powers granted us by Nature. – Marcus Tullius Cicero • I don’t do impersonations. I can do a wounded elephant! I can do a really good cow! And because of the amount of time I spent in North Yorkshire, I do a variety of sheep. All of which I will be happy to roll out for you! – Patrick Stewart • I don’t know where I learned elephants like their tongues slapped. Whatever turns you on. – Betty White • I feel certain that the largest part of all photographs ever taken or being taken or ever to be taken, is and will continue to be, portraits. This is not only true, it is also necessary. We are not solitary mammals, like the elephant, the whale and the ape. What is most profoundly felt between us, even if hidden, will reappear in our portraits of one another. – Ben Maddow • I feel so guilty when I see orcas performing their stupid tricks in their little swimming pools, and when I see circuses or elephant abuse. I don’t want to be in the same industry with these people. – Sam Simon • I get an urge, like a pregnant elephant, to go away and give birth to a book. – Stephen Fry • I had seen a herd of Elephant travelling through dense native forest … pacing along as if they had an appointment at the end of the world. – Isak Dinesen • I have a face like the behind of an elephant. – Charles Laughton • I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I’ve ever met. – Herb Caen • I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me. – Noel Coward • I have been called a Rogue Elephant, a Cannibal Shark, and a crocodile. I am none the worse. I remain a caged, and rather sardonic, lion, in a particularly contemptible and ill-run zoo. – Wyndham Lewis • I have family in Tanzania. I can’t even explain the joy of riding through the Tanzania national park and seeing giraffes run across the road and elephants over in a pond and baboons running. – Emanuel Cleaver • I have little space from the suffering of elephants right now. I wake up with it and go to sleep with it. The plight of animals in shelters, of kids used for labor for the metals in our electronics and endless other things, the fate of our water supply to dye our blue jeans and water our lawns, the sad painful life of conventionally raised meat…For me, I am working to not contribute to this. I really don’t want to hurt others for my benefit. – Kristin Bauer van Straten • I imagine the film [“300″] as if I was a Spartan and I had never seen an immortal or a Persian, or an elephant or a rhino for that matter. – Zack Snyder • I look after those who look after me.” He smacks his lips, stares at me, and adds, “I also look after those who don’t.” – Sara Gruen (Water for Elephants) – Sara Gruen • I often say, with something like ‘The Elephant Man,’ had it been an American series for television, where you have to sign your life away for seven years…well, maybe I would never have made ‘Sailcloth.’ – John Hurt • I once saw a photograph of a large herd of wild elephants in Central Africa Seeing an airplane for the first time, and all in a state of wild collective terror… As, however, there were no journalists among them, the terror died down when the airplane was out of sight. • I really wanted to work with David Lynch. I was a big fan of The Elephant Man and Eraserhead. – Sting • I saw a dead elephant in one of Kenya’s natural reserves. Around her were footprints of her baby elephant. This was just so sad, as three days before, perhaps the mother was still taking the baby around to play and to drink water. In her mind, she probably was thinking they had a life of decades to be together. However, the poaching happened so fast and everything collapsed. Without the protection of the mother, the baby elephant is likely to die too. That moment changed me. – Li Bingbing • I think the lion, besides the elephant, was the one animal that I just started thinking about so much. – Jillian Hervey • I want to go to Africa and find a really great hotel with good food right above a water hole where I can sit, have breakfast, and just watch the elephants play in the water. – David Crosby • I wanted to work with an elephant. – Robert Pattinson • I was born in love with all elephants. Not for a reason that I know. Not because of any of their individual qualities — wisdom, kindness, power, grace, patience, loyalty — but for what they are altogether. For their entire elephantness. – Pat Derby • I was driving pretty much the way everyone drives in LA, like elephants dancing on each others’ backs at a circus. – Gary Reilly • I was pretty shocked to learn that as many as 30,000 elephants are being killed every year to fuel the ivory trade, despite an international ban since 1989, and that 60% of forest elephants have already been wiped out. At this rate, experts say populations will become extinct in the next decade. No one needs ivory. – Ian Somerhalder • I will be doing a film called Whispers, for Disney. It’s about elephants, and doesn’t have any people in it. It will be a live action film – I don’t know how much I can say about it, since I still don’t know too much about it. – Trevor Rabin • I wore bell bottoms in elementary school. Never wore elephant bells. Remember, this was middle Oklahoma in the ’70s. – Garth Brooks • I worked next to an elephant. And considering that she could step on your toes, it’s a good idea to keep a certain distance. It’s also a good idea to befriend the trainer. – Christoph Waltz • If a playwright tried to see eye to eye with everybody, he would get the worst case of strabismus since Hannibal lost an eye trying to count his nineteen elephants during a snowstorm while crossing the Alps. – James Thurber • If anyone wants to know what elephants are like, they are like people only more so. – Pierre Corneille • If he be so resolved, I can o’ersway him; for he loves to hear That unicorns may be betrayed with trees And bears with glasses, elephants with holes, Lions with toils, and men with flatterers – William Shakespeare • If thou art of elephant-strength or of lion-claw, still peace is, in my opinion, better than strife. – Saadi • If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality. – Desmond Tutu • If you cannot find a good companion to walk with, walk alone, like an elephant roaming the jungle. It is better to be alone than to be with those who will hinder your progress. – Gautama Buddha • If you have appreciation for life, whether it is a planet or any wild species, if it’s a human or an elephant, death is really bad for all of us to adjust to. We are all going to die. When it happens in such a drastic, inhuman way, which we’ve been seeing in Africa, this is crime on its highest level. – Veronika Varekova • If you want to shoot rare, fast-moving elephants, you should always carry a loaded gun. – Warren Buffett • If you’ve got a great crew it’s intense, but its quite short. ‘The Elephant Man’ was longer than most, for an independent film. That was a 14 week film. But it was because of the intrinsic difficulties. We had to invent a different way of filming, because the makeup was so long. A working day for me with a full makeup on was nineteen hours. So obviously you couldn’t do that twice running. – John Hurt • If you’ve never seen an elephant ski, then you’ve never been on acid. – Eddie Izzard • I’ll do anything to keep everyone laughing. Things get too intense on film sets. I remember on The Elephant Man, I used to imitate a cat without moving my lips. David Lynch would say, “Cut! Sorry, we’ve got a noise somewhere on set.” Everyone would be looking around for this cat. – Anthony Hopkins • I’m like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it’s like, OK, he’s in there. – Aziz Ansari • I’m moved by us, our quirks and mistakes. I find inspiration in everything from a piece of art to the hem of a dress. I’m one of those people who sees Frank Zappa in a cup of coffee, or elephants wrestling in clouds. But also, conscious creation of all kinds moves me. And a divinely expressed performance in any genre sets me completely on fire. – Idara Victor • I’m one of those people who sees Frank Zappa in a cup of coffee, or elephants wrestling in clouds. But also, conscious creation of all kinds moves me. – Idara Victor • I’m really into moderation. Too much of anything will harm you in the end. Too much sugar. Too much pasta. I’m into drugs as a teaching tool, which is why I only take hallucinogenics. I mean, it’s not like I’ve never done cocaine, but, on the whole, if I can’t see dancing elephants then I’m not interested. – Tori Amos • In a manner which matches the fortuity, if not the consequence, of Archimedes’ bath and Newton’s apple, the [3.6 million year old] fossil footprints were eventually noticed one evening in September 1976 by the paleontologist Andrew Hill, who fell while avoiding a ball of elephant dung hurled at him by the ecologist David Western. – John Reader • In America you have the mouse now trying to sit down on the elephant, thinking that he’s going somewhere. And it’s – and it’s absurd. – Malcolm X • In Haydn’s oratorios, the notes present to the imagination not only motions, as, of the snake, the stag, and the elephant, but colors also; as the green grass. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • In terms of economical aspects, reinforcing those national parks with sophisticated anti-poaching patrols – these poachers are beefed up like the army. In the case of Cameroon, that’s a perfect example of the lack of finance. The government could not provide the national park with more guards. Therefore, they lost the majority of the elephant population. I don’t want to see that anywhere else. – Veronika Varekova • In the divine Scriptures, there are shallows and there are deeps; shallows where the lamb may wade, and deeps where the elephant may swim. – John Owen • In the sallies of badinage a polite fool shines; but in gravity he is as awkward as an elephant disporting. – Johann Georg Ritter von Zimmermann • Isimangaliso must be the only place on the globe where the oldest land mammal (rhinoceros) and the world biggest terrestrial mammal (elephant) share an ecosystem with the world’s oldest fish (coelacanth) and the world’s biggest marine mammal (whale) – Nelson Mandela • It happened while I was filming “Water for Elephants in which my partner is Reese Witherspoon. We had a scene with elephants but there were so many paparazzi around that it was scaring the animals and it was impossible to film. Out of the blue, fans, that were waiting for autographs, had enough and circled around the paparazzi. Teens made big guys run away. It was unreal! I was pleased. – Robert Pattinson • It is curious how there seems to be an instinctive disgust in Man for his nearest ancestors and relations. If only Darwin could conscientiously have traced man back to the Elephant or the Lion or the Antelope, how much ridicule and prejudice would have been spared to the doctrine of Evolution. – Havelock Ellis • It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant, but we can’t dodge a fly. – Josh Billings • It may surprise people to learn that one elephant is killed every 15 minutes for its ivory. – Li Bingbing • It wasn’t that I hated being asked a bunch of questions. I had nothing against questions. I just didn’t like listening to them, because some questions take forever to make sense. Sometimes waiting for a question to finish is like watching someone draw an elephant starting with the tail first. As soon as you see the tail your mind wanders all over the place and you think of a million other animals that also have tails until you don’t care about the elephant because it’s only one thing when you’ve been thinking about a million others. – Jack Gantos • It’s amazing how quickly human beings adapt, isn’t it? It was such a great crew, and David [Lynch] was wonderful to work with [on ‘The Elephant Man’]. It was a very thrilling time, actually. – John Hurt • It’s estimated that across Africa 100 elephants are killed for their tusks every day. It takes nothing more than simple math to get to what that adds up to in a year, and it’s a distressing figure. – Graydon Carter • It’s hard for the donkeys to win the race if they’re going to carry the elephants on their backs. – Jim Hightower • It’s very difficult to move yourself up bit by bit. It’s like trying to eat an elephant for God’s sake. I can do it. It’s just I have to have it bite by bite, you know. It’s possible. You can eat an elephant, but you have to do it bite by bite. You can’t do it all in one go. – Colin Montgomerie • Jackie had a keen eye for talent, and like an elephant never forgot. And, he was always right on the mark. – Audrey Meadows • Knowing what you need doesn’t always mean you know how to get it, though. I’d spent a long time hiding in my cave. No matter how much I might want to come out into the light, I knew it would hurt my eyes. I was a fool. A fool, but nevertheless too smart not to know I was the architect of my own demise, that it was time to put my past behind me. It was time to stop allowing the white elephants to stand unspoken of in my living room. – Megan Hart • Learning to play with a big amplifier is like trying to control an elephant. – Ritchie Blackmore • Leo couldn’t help smiling. “That could be fun.” “Fun” she said unhappily. “Blue elephants.” “Blue elephants.” “Kiss me you fool.” “You fool. – Rick Riordan • Letter 1 To the princess of the elephants, I disappeared exactly one year ago. On that day I received a letter. It called me back to the place where my life with the elephants began Please forgive me, for the silence between us has been unbroken for one year. I will never be more of myself than in these letters. They are my maps of the bird path, and they are all that I know to be true. – Gregory Colbert • Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is affected by every twitch and grunt. – Pierre Trudeau • Love will draw an elephant through a key-hole. – Samuel Richardson • Lured by the wilderness, and by the chance of spotting rare desert elephants, a few intrepid tourists make their way to the Skeleton Coast each year. It’s just about as remote as any tourist destination on earth, but one that pays fabulous dividends. – Tahir Shah • May an elephant caress you with his toes – ‘Little’ Jimmy Dickens • Media people should have long noses like an elephant to smell out politicians, mayors, prime ministers and businessmen. We need to know the reality, the good and the bad, not just the appearance. – Dalai Lama • Mother elephants in the circus cannot help their babies, but we can. – Edie Falco • Mumbling priests swinging stick cans on their chains and even witch doctors conjuring up curses with a well-buried elephant tooth have a better sense of their places in the world. They know this universe is brimming with magic, with life and riddles and ironies. They know that the world might eat them, and no encyclopedia could stop it. – N.D. Wilson • My biggest concern and main engagement with UNEP is focused on endangered species and illegal wildlife trade – mostly elephants, rhinos, etc. – Yaya Toure • My biggest influence growing up was Mad magazine, which is a very text-heavy form of visual satire. I didn’t grow up wanting to draw donkeys and elephants with the names of politicians written across them. – Tom Tomorrow • My drawing was not a picture of a hat. It was a picture of a boa constrictor digesting an elephant. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery • My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It’s in the apartment somewhere. – Steven Wright • My stepfather used to be a clown in The Shrine Circus. He took me backstage when I was 23. I saw three elephants chained to the cement floor in the warehouse of the Michigan State Fairgrounds. Sadness, hopelessness and fear were emanating from their eyes, from their bodies. They were swaying neurotically from side to side. A monkey was screaming in his cage, grabbing the bars of his prison. Two tigers were pacing feverishly in their tiny cages. Cruelty was staring me in the face. I knew something was wrong. If you pay attention to energy, you can tell when a fellow being is in peril. – Gary Yourofsky • Nature’s great masterpiece, an elephant; the only harmless great thing. – John Donne • Nothing appeases an enraged elephant so much as the sight of a little lamb. – Saint Francis de Sales • Now the freaks are on television, the freaks are in the movies. And it’s no longer the sideshow, it’s the whole show. The colorful circus and the clowns and the elephants, for all intents and purposes, are gone, and we’re dealing only with the freaks. – Jonathan Winters • Once there was an elephant Who tried to use the telephant. No! no! I mean an elephone Who tried to use the telephone. Dear me, I am not certain quite That even now I’ve got it right. – Laura E. Richards • One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know. – Groucho Marx • One researcher just determined that African and Indian elephants make each other sick. When a new animal or plant is introduced to a habitat bad things happen. The biggest danger to native wildlife is foreign wildlife. – Robert T. Bakker • Our elders say that an elephant does not find its own trunk heavy. – Zakes Mda • Our problem with limited resources is not primarily overpopulation; it is greed. Our problem with pollution is not the invention of fluorocarbons or mass transport; it is irresponsibility. The loss of an acre of forest every second, the mass slaughter of elephants for their ivory, the extinction of entire species of plants, insects and animals all over the world is not something that “just happens” because there are more of us human beings. It happens because the race of ruling beings put in charge has almost wholly lost its sense of stewardship. We have turned away from God. – Winkie Pratney • Over-population is the ’cause of drive-by shootings’ and other social ills, but the root of the problem is Christianity, which posits that people are more important than sea otters and elephants. – Ted Turner • People of conscience in our leadership in Washington have been scared off by the right and the fossil fuel lobbies. They won’t even use the term “sustainability” or “climate change” in an energy bill, which is ludicrous on its face. It completely ignores the elephant in the room that we’re all dealing with. The average American doesn’t even believe climate change is real, they think it’s all a hoax. – James Cameron • Plastic surgery is like a big elephant sitting in the Hollywood living room. – Patricia Heaton • Pointless. . . . Like giving caviar to an elephant. – William Faulkner • PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk. – Ambrose Bierce • Psychoanalysts and elephants, they never forget. – Arthur Laurents • Recently I stood in the desert, far out side of L. A., and watched the sun set on a circus tent from 1930. Every where stood animals: elephants, tigers that should be loaded into a steam train. 300 extras in costumes raced around, the modern world had disappeared totally. Although that was totally fake, it still happened directly before my eyes! That was my perfect day. I would be gladly experience that every day. It happens continually to me: It calls itself work. That is wonderful and more than enough. – Robert Pattinson • Seized ivory stocks around Africa are recycled back into illegal trade due to corruption. Ivory stocks should be burnt together with the hopes of traffickers for any “legal” way to allow them to slaughter our elephants. – Ofir Drori • Shallows where a lamb could wade and depths where an elephant would drown. – Matthew Henry • So I went home and I told my mom that I wanted to quit and be an actress and she said, “Huh, that sounds fascinating. It’s wonderful!” And I told my father and he literally said, “I don’t care if you want to be an elephant trainer if it makes you happy.” – Gena Rowlands • So oft in theologic wars, The disputants, I ween, Rail on in utter ignorance Of what each other mean, And prate about an Elephant Not one of them has seen! – John Godfrey Saxe • So slowly the hot elephant hearts grow full of desire, and the great beasts mate in secret at last, hiding their fire. – D. H. Lawrence • Soft fantasy worlds have a much looser cause-and-effect relationship. Alchemists can turn lead into gold and nobody wonders about how it will impact the currency system. Someone waves a wand and turns an elephant into a mouse and nobody worries about conservation of mass. – Patrick Rothfuss • Some women are like elephants. I don’t mean size, I mean they never forget. – Laura Schlessinger • Sybil’s female forebears had valiantly backed up their husbands as distant embassies were besieged, had given birth on a camel or in the shade of a stricken elephant, had handed around the little gold chocolates while trolls were trying to break into the compound, or had merely stayed at home and nursed such bits of husbands and sons as made it back from endless little wars. The result was a species of woman who, when duty called, turned into solid steel. – Terry Pratchett • The ability to double our biomass – not by waiting several million years and growing to be the size of an elephant – but waiting a few hundred thousand years for neurons to sprout into our brains – ones capable of having us create emotional relationships with other members of our species. We thereby double our biomass not by getting bigger, but by creating an ally. – John Medina • The Arab awakening was like watching elephants fly: something you didn’t expect, something you haven’t seen before, “Wow, elephants fly.” – Thomas Friedman • The Bible is a stream of running water, where alike the elephant may swim, and the lamb walk without losing its feet. – Pope Gregory I • The Buddhists have a story about blind men trying to describe an elephant by feeling it’s various parts, and each describes the elephant according to the part he touched. That is the way we can hope to know God. – Kent Nerburn • The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool. – Ambrose Bierce • The elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy; his legs are legs for necessity, not for flexure. – William Shakespeare • The elephant in the room time and time again when it comes to work and promotions is maternity leave. We need to work with businesses so they work with women and make it easy and supportive for them to come back into the workplace. – Mary Portas • The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it’s so full of dreams. Actually, it’s because his skull was shaped like a turkey. – Dana Gould • ‘The Elephant Man’ was hugely enjoyable to do. I thought the one stage, when Chris Tucker did the first makeup and it took 12 hours, I thought they’d actually found a way for me not to enjoy filming. – John Hurt • The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’ – Karl Pilkington • The elephant, not only the largest but the most intelligent of animals, provides us with an excellent example. It is faithful and tenderly loving to the female of its choice, mating only every third year and then for no more than five days, and so secretly as never to be seen, until, on the sixth day, it appears and goes at once to wash its whole body in the river, unwilling to return to the herd until thus purified. Such good and modest habits are an example to husband and wife. – Saint Francis de Sales • The elephant, the huge old beast, is slow to mate – D. H. Lawrence • The elephants were being slaughtered in masses. Some were even killed in the vicinity of big tourist hotels. – Richard Leakey • The fact that the infrastructure is falling apart is not necessarily because it’s built poorly. The New York City subways were built in 1903. The fact that they’re still running at all is an enormous success. The fact that New York City’s bridges have held up as long as they have is extraordinary, and the engineers didn’t have computers to tell them about tolerance. They overbuilt these things – traffic on them is like an ant on an elephant. – Alan Weisman • The illegal wildlife trade threatens not only the survival of entire species, such as elephants and rhinos, but also the livelihoods and, often, the very lives of millions of people across Africa who depend on tourism for a living. – Yaya Toure • The Internet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhoea – massive, difficult to re-direct, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. – Gene Spafford • The largest land animal is the elephant, and it is the nearest to man in intelligence: it understands the language of its country and obeys orders, remembers duties that it has been taught, is pleased by affection and by marks of honour, nay more it possesses virtues rare even in man, honesty, wisdom, justice, also respect for the stars and reverence for the sun and moon. – Pliny the Elder • The law of nature gives a man the right to defend himself when he’s attacked. And God’s law itself gives a man the right to defend himself when he’s attacked.so, peaceful suffering and passive resistance and all of that stuff is all right maybe in India somewhere, where the people in India outnumber the whites – about a million to one.But here in America, when you tell that’s like an elephant sitting down on a – on a mouse in India with [Mahatma] Gandhi. – Malcolm X • The mind is divided, like a rider on an elephant, and the rider’s job is to serve the elephant. The rider is our conscious reasoning-the stream of words and images of which we are fully aware. The elephant is the other 99 percent of mental processes-the ones that occur outside of awareness but that actually govern most of our behavior. – Jonathan Haidt • The problem is that during the 1980s, a decade of heavy poaching, the elephants retreated to safer areas. And now people have moved into the corridors once used by the elephants. – Richard Leakey • The question is, are we happy to suppose that our grandchildren may never be able to see an elephant except in a picture book? – David Attenborough • The reason I know about ‘Tomb Raider’ is from when I was researching ‘Elephant.’ It was 1999, and I was trying to research the Columbine-massacre kids, and they had played video games, and I, at the time, had never really seen one. It was a world I didn’t know. – Gus Van Sant • The sad thing about destroying the environment is that we’re going to take the rest of life with us. The bluebirds will be gone, and the elephants will be gone, and the tigers will be gone, and the pandas will be gone. – Ted Turner • The strongest animals on earth are plant eaters. Every creature we’ve enlisted to do the work we couldn’t handle – the horse, donkey, elephant, camel, water buffalo, ox, yak – is an herbivore… whose huge muscles were built from plant protein, and whose strong bones got that way, and stayed that way, from grazing on grass and eating other vegetables. – Victoria Moran • The thing about movie musicals is that there have been some brilliant ones, but when they’re bad, they’re really bad – big white elephants. – Rob Marshall • The United States should not jump around like an elephant frightened by a mouse. – George F. Kennan • The whole idea of being in captivity in such limited space, especially in a zoo, causes elephants to suffer. They develop all kinds of foot diseases. They die. They get cysts. Not only is it painful, it eventually kills them. – Lily Tomlin • The whole new Democratic Party is the old Republican Party. We have a whole bunch of elephants running around in donkey’s clothes. – Robert Novak • The world is hollow. It’s a lot to take in. Like cracking an egg and finding nothing inside. Or a full grown elephant. – Geraldine McCaughrean • The world is not a burden; we make it a burden by our desires. When the desires are removed, the world is as light as a feather on an elephant’s back. – Baba Hari Dass • The world’s strongest animals are plant eaters. Gorillas, Buffaloes, Elephants and me. – Patrik Baboumian • There are some people the gestation period is like an elephant’s and it’s just years and years before they’re ready. – John Amaechi • There are, broadly speaking, two types of drinkers. There is the man whom we all know, stupid, unimaginative, whose brain is bitten numbly by numb maggots; who walks generously with wide-spread, tentative legs, falls frequently in the gutter, and who sees, in the extremity of his ecstasy, blue mice and pink elephants…. The other type of drinker has imagination, vision. Even when most pleasantly jingled he walks straight and naturally, never staggers nor falls, and knows just where he is and what he is doing. It is not his body but his brain that is drunken. – Jack London • There is no creature among all the Beasts of the world which hath so great and ample demonstration of the power and wisdom of almighty God as the Elephant. – Edward Topsell • There’s a place in Botswana where there are 100,000 elephants living in a single population. Think of the amount of space they need. Remember, the United States would fit in Africa three times over and there would still be space. That’s how big Africa is. – Patrick Bergin • There’s enough sedative in these darts to bring down a werewolf, which is exactly what we’re hunting. Why would we want to bring down an elephant if we’re not hunting elephants? – Derek Landy • These magnificent species of Africa – elephants, rhino, lions, leopards, cheetah, the great apes (Africa has four of the world’s five great apes) – this is a treasure for all humanity, and they are not for sale. They are not for trade. They need to be valued and preserved by humanity. We all need a global commitment to that. – Patrick Bergin • They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist… – John Sedgwick • They say that vegetable food is not sufficiently nutritious. But chemistry proves the contrary. So does physiology. So does experience….And again: the largest and strongest animals in the world are those which eat no flesh-food of any kind – the elephant and the rhinoceros. – R. Trall • Time magazine put Chris Christie on the cover with the caption, ‘The Elephant in the Room.’ And People magazine named him ‘Sexiest Garbage Truck in a Suit.’ – Bill Maher • To achieve this density of a neutron star at home, just cram a herd of 50 million elephants into the volume of a thimble. – Neil deGrasse Tyson • To be a baby elephant must be wonderful. Surrounded by a loving family 24 hours a day. Touched by the family, cuddled and comforted. A tremendous love and compassion exuded by every family member. I think it must be how it ought to be, in a perfect world. – Daphne Sheldrick • To keep a man a slave you do much the same as the cruel circus masters did to the elephant around the turn of last century. Clamp heavy chains around their legs and stake them to the ground. Then beat and terrorize them. After a while you no longer even have to stake the chain; the elephant gives up and just the mere rattle of the chain convinces the elephant there is no hope, so they give up and do whatever it is the circus requires. – Glenn Beck • Use a sweet tongue, courtesy, and gentleness, and thou mayest manage to guide an elephant by a hair. – Saadi • We admire elephants in part because they demonstrate what we consider the finest human traits: empathy, self-awareness, and social intelligence. But the way we treat them puts on display the very worst of human behavior. – Graydon Carter • We already live a very long time for mammals, getting three times as many heartbeats as a mouse or elephant. It never seems enough though, does it? – David Brin • We are having to pull money into site-level protection for elephants just to keep them alive. But there isn’t enough money to go around. The people involved in protecting those elephants, like rangers on the ground, are so under-resourced. They have very few vehicles, they have very poor weapons (if any weapons at all), and they are treated as the bottom of the tree when it comes to law enforcement priority. – Allen Crawford • We are not the only animal that mourns; apes do, and elephants, and dogs. Yet we are the only one that tortures. – Geraldine Brooks • We are the bird’s eggs. Bird’s eggs, flowers, butterflies, rabbits, cows, sheep, we are caterpillars; we are leaves of ivy and springs of wildflower. We are women. We rise from the wave. We are gazelle and doe, elephant and whale, lilies and roses and peach, we are air, we are flame, we are oyster and pearl, we are girls. We are woman and nature. And he says he cannot hear us speak. But we hear. – Susan Griffin • We call a thing big or little with reference to what it is wont to be, as we speak of a small elephant or a big rat. – D’Arcy Wentworth Thompson • We can’t have these great corporations crowding competition off the sidewalks. It’s like an elephant saying, “Everyone for himself,” as he dances among the chickens. – Emanuel Celler • We did a campaign here with New York Times. We had a great ad: “Today in America, someone will kill an elephant for a bracelet.” We became sensitized in our society. Now there are four or five billion people in Asia who need to get this message. We need to use social media, print magazines, celebrities – anything we can to share this message. It’s not cool, it’s not okay. You are destroying beautiful animals. You are robbing a continent of its wealth. And you are hurting a lot of innocent people. – Patrick Bergin • We have all seen these circus elephants complete with tusks, ivory in their head and thick skins, who move around the circus ring and grab the tail of the elephant ahead of them. – John F. Kennedy • We have to be aggressive when those we stick up for have no voice. I don’t consider it radical to say cruelty is wrong and that animals should be respected. I consider it radical to eat corpses, put electrodes in animals’ heads, make elephants live in chains in the circus, and poison animals we consider a nuisance. – Ingrid Newkirk • We shall not attempt to give the reader an idea of that tetrahedron nose-that horse-shoe mouth-that small left eye over-shadowed by a red bushy brow, while the right eye disappeared entirely under an enormous wart-of those straggling teeth with breaches here and there like the battlements of a fortress-of that horny lip, over which one of those teeth projected like the tusk of an elephant-of that forked chin-and, above all, of the expression diffused over the whole-that mixture of malice, astonishment, and melancholy. Let the reader, if he can, figure to himself this combination. – Victor Hugo • We’ll be back to our nature documentary, ‘Baggy the Anorexic Elephant’ in just a second. – Colin Mochrie • Well, the big elephant in the whole system is the baby boomer generation that marches through like a herd of elephants. And we begin to retire in 2008. – Lindsey Graham • Whales, like elephants, are so social and intelligent. This hurts me to think of them being transported, put in noisy airplanes, and brought to a horrible concrete pen when they’re supposed to be out in the sea. – Jane Goodall • What ever happened to freak shows? Back in the twenties when elephant man was born at least he had a job waiting for him. – Doug Stanhope • What is bigger than an elephant? But this also is become man’s plaything, and a spectacle at public solemnities; and it learns to skip, dance, and kneel – Plutarch • What is the elephant in all our rooms? It is the global triumph of capitalism. Democracy is fiercely disputed. Freedom is under threat even in old-established democracies such as Britain. Western supremacy is on the skids. But everyone does capitalism. Americans and Europeans do it. Indians do it. Russian oligarchs and Saudi princes do it. Even Chinese communists do it… Karl Marx would be turning in his grave. Or perhaps not, since some of his writings eerily foreshadowed our era of globalised capitalism. His prescription failed but his description was prescient. – Timothy Garton Ash • What is true for E. coli is also true for the elephant. – Jacques Monod • What? Men dodging this way for single bullets? What will you do when they open fire along the whole line? I am ashamed of you. They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance. – John Sedgwick • When children see animals in a circus, they learn that animals exist for our amusement. Quite apart from the cruelty involved in training and confining these animals, the whole idea that we should enjoy the humiliating spectacle of an elephant or lion made to perform circus tricks shows a lack of respect for the animals as individuals. – Peter Singer • When eating an elephant take one bite at a time. – Creighton W. Abrams, Jr. • When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, and there was no one there to hear it, does it – philosopically speaking – make a noise – Terry Pratchett • When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run. – Abraham Lincoln • Where do they go when they die? We hear of the elephant graveyards, where the elephants go to die, but how much more curious it is that birds are not falling out of the sky all the time, on our heads, at our feet, dying and falling and flopping to the ground. I rarely see a dead bird on the ground. – Sophy Burnham • Whereas all humans have approximately the same life expectancy the life expectancy of stars varies as much as from that of a butterfly to that of an elephant. – George Gamow • Whereas an elephant that was scared to death that diesel powered equipment, equipment that ran on a gas engine, was just fine. Because somebody had attacked it with construction equipment. But if it had a diesel engine, it was bad. – Temple Grandin • While I had often said that I wanted to die in bed, what I really meant was that in my old age I wanted to be stepped on by an elephant while making love. – Roger Zelazny • Women and elephants never forget an injury. – Hector Hugh Munro • Women and elephants never forget. – Dorothy Parker • Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one. – W. C. Fields • Words are cheap. The biggest thing you can say is “elephant”. – Charlie Chaplin • Yeah, Kubrick’s a big influence. In something like ‘A Clockwork Orange,’ he is trying to use the practical light – I mean, at least he says that in his interviews, like they’re not using traditionally Hollywood lights. In ‘Elephant’ we basically used no lights; we never really adjusted. – Gus Van Sant • You can eat an elephant if you do it one bite at a time. – Robert Christopher Riley • You know, that stuff about pink elephants, that’s the bunk. It’s little animals. Little tiny turkeys in straw hats. Midget monkeys coming through the keyholes. – Billy Wilder • You know…they say an elephant never forgets. What they don’t tell you is, you never forget an elephant. – Bill Murray • You see, in a world where elephants are pursued by flying men, people are just naturally going to want to get high. – Judith Rascoe • You’ve got to shake your fists at lightning now, you’ve got to roar like forest fire You’ve got to spread your light like blazes all across the sky They’re going to aim the hoses on you, show ’em you won’t expire Not till you burn up every passion, not even when you die Come on now, you’ve got to try, if you’re feeling contempt, well then you tell it If you’re tired of the silent night, Jesus, well then you yell it Condemned to wires and hammers, strike every chord that you feel That broken trees and elephant ivories conceal – Joni Mitchell
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Elephants Quotes
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• A camel makes an elephant feel like a jet plane. – Jackie Kennedy • A closed mouth gathers no foot. A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn’t look like an elephant. – David Gries • A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn’t look like an elephant. – George Bernard Shaw • A lot of my dreams have to do with animals I think because I’m such a huge animal lover. I have so many pets. I always have crazy dreams where I’m like riding an elephant through the jungle or hanging out with a bunch of monkeys. – Paris Hilton • A true philosopher is like an elephant; he never puts the second foot down until the first one is solidly in place. – Bernard le Bovier de Fontenelle • Abrams’s Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time. – Paul Dickson • All the religions are true, they just see a different part of the elephant. – George Lucas • Always drawn to the theatric, Bowie also performed in stage productions of “The Elephant Man” and just recently collaborated on “Lazarus,” an off-Broadway musical that’s a sequel to his 1976 role in the film “The Man Who Fell To Earth.” – David Bowie • Americans should never underestimate the constant pressure on Canada which the mere presence of the United States has produced. We’re different people from you and we’re different people because of you. Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is effected by every twitch and grunt. It should not therefore be expected that this kind of nation, this Canada, should project itself as a mirror image of the United States. – Pierre Trudeau • Amid attempts to protect elephants from ivory poachers and dolphins from tuna nets, the rights of children go remarkably unremarked. – Anna Quindlen • And the elephant sings deep in the forest-maze About a star of deathless and painless peace But no astronomer can find where it is. – Ted Hughes • Animals are indeed more ancient, more complex and in many ways more sophisticated than us. They are more perfect because they remain within Nature’s fearful symmetry just as Nature intended. They should be respected and revered, but perhaps none more so than the elephant, the world’s most emotionally human land mammal. – Daphne Sheldrick • As big as an elephant is, a whale is still larger. Everything’s relative. Even gods have their spot on the food chain. – Jim Starlin • Awake. Be the witness of your thoughts. The elephant hauls himself from the mud. In the same way drag yourself out of your sloth. – Gautama Buddha
jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Elephant', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_elephant').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_elephant img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Band of Skulls is joining Cage the Elephant as my new musical caffeine. – Michael Koryta • Be humble as the blade of grass that is being trodden underneath the feet. The little ant tastes joyously the sweetness of honey and sugar. The mighty elephant trembles in pain under the agony of sharp goad – Sivananda • Be wary of passing the judgment: obscure. To find something obscure poses no difficult, elephants and poodles find many things obscure. – Georg C. Lichtenberg • But as the work proceeded I was continually reminded of the fable about the elephant and the tortoise. Having constructed an elephant upon which the mathematical world could rest, I found the elephant tottering, and proceeded to construct a tortoise to keep the elephant from falling. But the tortoise was not more secure than the elephant, and after some twenty years of very arduous toil, I came to the conclusion that there was nothing more that I could do in the way of making mathematical knowledge indubitable. – Bertrand Russell • But if you do not find an intelligent companion, a wise and well-behaved person going the same way as yourself, then go on your way alone, like a king abandoning a conquered kingdom, or like a great elephant in the deep forest. – Gautama Buddha • But my mother loved The Elephant Man, and my father gave David Lynch a scholarship to study in Rome. – Isabella Rossellini • But perhaps the most important lesson I learned is that there are no walls between humans and the elephants except those that we put up ourselves, and that until we allow not only elephants, but all living creatures their place in the sun, we can never be whole ourselves. – Lawrence Anthony • But what humans forget, cells remember. The body, that elephant – Jeffrey Eugenides • China cares about its reputation and doesn’t want to be known as the nation whose preferences drove the extinction of elephants. – Wayne Pacelle • Consider the biggest animals on the planet: elephants, and buffaloes, and giraffes. These are vegetarian animals. They grow to thousands of pounds of muscle and bone without ever eating cheeseburgers and pepperoni pizzas. – Michael Klaper • Currently poaching threatens the very existence of the African Elephant, and my worry is that if we do not act NOW, we could be looking at a future in which this iconic species is wiped out. – Yaya Toure • Dealing with the State Department is like watching an elephant become pregnant. – Franklin D. Roosevelt • Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of. – Sara Gruen • Different persons growing up in the same language are like different bushes trimmed and trained to take the shape of identical elephants. The anatomical details of twigs and branches will fulfill the elephantine form differently from bush to bush, but the overall outward results are alike. – Willard Van Orman Quine • Diplomacy is much like the “lovemaking of elephants”, which is accompanied with a lot of bellowing and other sound effects, but no one can be sure of the consequences for at least the next two years – Shashi Tharoor • Dividing an elephant in half does not produce two small elephants. – Peter Senge • Do not be thoughtless, always be mindful, watch your thoughts! Draw yourself out of the path of evil, like an elephant sunk in mud. – Gautama Buddha • Eat like a bird, poop like an elephant. – Guy Kawasaki • Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant – Spike Milligan • Elephant Man [movie] was much more difficult physically. This had a couple of days. It was quite tricky. I had my leg strapped up behind me and I am a little older now. It was all marvelous, though. He [Bong Joon-ho] is one of the most fabulous directors in the world. – John Hurt • Elephants and grandchildren never forget. – Andy Rooney • Elephants are contagious. – Paul Eluard • Elephants are highly emotional. Whatever they are feeling, they let it out immediately, and the histrionics are over and forgotten in a moment, lasting no longer than the cloud formations that are constantly coming apart and re-forming overhead. There is no guile in pachyderms. – Alex Shoumatoff • Elephants are living treasures. Nature’s gardeners. Nature’s great teachers. Tragically some people don’t give a damn. They prefer the dead treasure to the living one. The ivory. We must challenge this so-called ‘trade’ with all our might and shame on those who would condone it. – Virginia McKenna • Elephants are my favourite creatures and have been since I was a boy and my mother read Kipling’s The Elephant’s Child to me. It was loving elephants so much that made we want to write my own story with an elephant at the centre and its bond with a child. – Michael Morpurgo • Elephants are so wise and so funny and so endangered and so intelligent. I just think there is a lot to learn from them. – Gloria Steinem • Elephants have a hard time adapting. Cockroaches outlive everything. – Peter Drucker • Elephants have the largest brains of any mammal on the face of the Earth. They are creative, altruistic and kind. – Ingrid Newkirk • Elephants suffer from too much patience. Their exhibitions of it may seem superb,-such power and such restraint, combined, are noble,-but a quality carried to excess defeats itself. – Clarence Day • Employers ganging up against workers is like raising an army of elephants against ants. – Mahatma Gandhi • Even animals have a conscience. Those in the jungle KILL only to eat, not live to kill. This is why we often see packs of predators focusing on just one kill, instead of targeting many. Even animals exercise reason. I have seen a mother lion taking care of a baby antelope, and a mother elephant taking care of a baby lion. The primal need to eat is unavoidable, yet even under severe hunger stretches, the desire to love can sometimes overcome the desire to eat. – Suzy Kassem • Even the elephant carries but a small trunk on his journeys. The perfection of traveling is to travel without baggage. – Henry David Thoreau • Even though the topic [of slavery] itself is the big, screaming elephant in the room, we still get a chance to have fun and enjoy what is on the screen, and we have moments where we’re actually happy. – Aldis Hodge • Every culture from the Egyptians to the Mayans to the American Indians to the Bedouins created bestiaries that enabled them to express their relationship with nature. Ashes and Snow is a 21st-century bestiary filled with species from around the world. Nature’s orchestra includes not just Homo sapiens but elephants, whales, manatees, eagles, cheetahs, orangutans, and many others. – Gregory Colbert • Every Man being conscious to himself, That he thinks, and that which his Mind is employ’d about whilst thinking, being the Ideas, that are there, ’tis past doubt, that Men have in their Minds several Ideas, such as are those expressed by the words, Whiteness, Hardness, Sweetness, Thinking, Motion, Man, Elephant, Army, Drunkenness, and others: It is in the first place then to be inquired, How he comes by them? I know it is a received Doctrine, That Men have native Ideas, and original Characters stamped upon their Minds, in their very first Being. – John Locke • Every theory in philosophy, which is built on pure conjecture, is an elephant; and every theory that is supported partly by fact, and partly by conjecture, is like Nebuchadnezzar’s image, whose feet were partly of iron, and partly of clay. – Thomas Reid • Everything that I love is behind those gates. We have elephants, and giraffes, and crocodiles, and every kind of tigers and lions. And – and we have bus loads of kids, who don’t get to see those things. They come up sick children, and enjoy it. – Michael Jackson • For me to put a look together, if it’s going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is quite a tricky thing to do. I’m not doing drag because drag is seen in a certain way and my comedy has got zero to do with what I’m wearing. I could wear an elephant suit and say the same thing. – Eddie Izzard • General, your tank is a powerful vehicle It smashes down forests and crushes a hundred men. But it has one defect: It needs a driver. General, your bomber is powerful. It flies faster than a storm and carries more than an elephant. But it has one defect: It needs a mechanic. General, man is very useful. He can fly and he can kill. But he has one defect: He can think. – Bertolt Brecht • God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things. – Pablo Picasso • Have you ever been bitten by an elephant? How about a mosquito? It’s the little things in life that will bite you. For most of us, it’s the frequent, small and seemingly inconsequential choices that are of grave concern. – Darren Hardy • ‘Helping industry’ is the elephant pit of socialism, a deep hole with sharp spikes at the bottom, covered over with twigs and fresh grass. – Enoch Powell • How hard can it be to find a girl and an elephant for Christ’s sake? – Sara Gruen • I am persuaded that if the brutes even–if the dog, the horse, the ox, the elephant, the bird, could speak, they would confess, that, at the bottom of their nature, their instincts, their sensations, their obtuse intelligence, assisted by organs less perfect than ours, there is a clouded, secret sentiment of this existence of a superior and primordial Being, from whom all emanates, and to whom all returns. – Alphonse de Lamartine • I am she who lifts the mountains When she goes to hunt, Who wears mamba for a headband And a lion for a belt. Beware! I swallow elephants whole And pick my teeth with rhinoceros horns, I drink up rivers to get at the hippos. Let them hear my words! Nhamo is coming And her hunger is great. I am she who tosses trees Instead of spears. The ostrich is my pillow And the elephant is my footstool! I am Nhamo Who makes the river my highway And sends crocodiles scurrying into the reeds! – Nancy Farmer • I believe that the souls of women flatten and anchor themselves in times of adversity, lay in for the stay. I’ve heard that when elephants are attacked they often run, not away, but toward each other. Perhaps it is because they are a matriarchal society. – Elizabeth Berg • I can watch elephants (and elephants alone) for hours at a time, for sooner or later the elephant will do something very strange… There is mystery behind that masked gray visage, and ancient life force, delicate and mighty, awesome and enchanted, commanding the silence ordinarily reserved for mountain peaks, great fires, and the sea. – Peter Matthiessen • I cannot tell by what logic we call a toad, a bear, or an elephant ugly; they being created in those outward shapes and figures which best express the actions of their inward forms. – Thomas Browne • I couldn’t hit an elephant’s ass with a bull fiddle. – Babe Didrikson Zaharias • I do believe that the party has a bunch of elephants running around in donkey clothes. – Al Sharpton • I do not mean to call an elephant a vulgar animal, but if you think about him carefully, you will find that his nonvulgarity consists in such gentleness as is possible to elephantine nature-not in his insensitive hide, nor in his clumsy foot, but in the way he will lift his foot if a child lies in his way; and in his sensitive trunk, and still more sensitive mind, and capability of pique on points of honor. – John Ruskin • I do not now so much as wish to have the Strength of Youth again that I wish’d in Youth for the Strength of an Ox or Elephant. For it is our Business only to make the best Use we can of the Powers granted us by Nature. – Marcus Tullius Cicero • I don’t do impersonations. I can do a wounded elephant! I can do a really good cow! And because of the amount of time I spent in North Yorkshire, I do a variety of sheep. All of which I will be happy to roll out for you! – Patrick Stewart • I don’t know where I learned elephants like their tongues slapped. Whatever turns you on. – Betty White • I feel certain that the largest part of all photographs ever taken or being taken or ever to be taken, is and will continue to be, portraits. This is not only true, it is also necessary. We are not solitary mammals, like the elephant, the whale and the ape. What is most profoundly felt between us, even if hidden, will reappear in our portraits of one another. – Ben Maddow • I feel so guilty when I see orcas performing their stupid tricks in their little swimming pools, and when I see circuses or elephant abuse. I don’t want to be in the same industry with these people. – Sam Simon • I get an urge, like a pregnant elephant, to go away and give birth to a book. – Stephen Fry • I had seen a herd of Elephant travelling through dense native forest … pacing along as if they had an appointment at the end of the world. – Isak Dinesen • I have a face like the behind of an elephant. – Charles Laughton • I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I’ve ever met. – Herb Caen • I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me. – Noel Coward • I have been called a Rogue Elephant, a Cannibal Shark, and a crocodile. I am none the worse. I remain a caged, and rather sardonic, lion, in a particularly contemptible and ill-run zoo. – Wyndham Lewis • I have family in Tanzania. I can’t even explain the joy of riding through the Tanzania national park and seeing giraffes run across the road and elephants over in a pond and baboons running. – Emanuel Cleaver • I have little space from the suffering of elephants right now. I wake up with it and go to sleep with it. The plight of animals in shelters, of kids used for labor for the metals in our electronics and endless other things, the fate of our water supply to dye our blue jeans and water our lawns, the sad painful life of conventionally raised meat…For me, I am working to not contribute to this. I really don’t want to hurt others for my benefit. – Kristin Bauer van Straten • I imagine the film [“300″] as if I was a Spartan and I had never seen an immortal or a Persian, or an elephant or a rhino for that matter. – Zack Snyder • I look after those who look after me.” He smacks his lips, stares at me, and adds, “I also look after those who don’t.” – Sara Gruen (Water for Elephants) – Sara Gruen • I often say, with something like ‘The Elephant Man,’ had it been an American series for television, where you have to sign your life away for seven years…well, maybe I would never have made ‘Sailcloth.’ – John Hurt • I once saw a photograph of a large herd of wild elephants in Central Africa Seeing an airplane for the first time, and all in a state of wild collective terror… As, however, there were no journalists among them, the terror died down when the airplane was out of sight. • I really wanted to work with David Lynch. I was a big fan of The Elephant Man and Eraserhead. – Sting • I saw a dead elephant in one of Kenya’s natural reserves. Around her were footprints of her baby elephant. This was just so sad, as three days before, perhaps the mother was still taking the baby around to play and to drink water. In her mind, she probably was thinking they had a life of decades to be together. However, the poaching happened so fast and everything collapsed. Without the protection of the mother, the baby elephant is likely to die too. That moment changed me. – Li Bingbing • I think the lion, besides the elephant, was the one animal that I just started thinking about so much. – Jillian Hervey • I want to go to Africa and find a really great hotel with good food right above a water hole where I can sit, have breakfast, and just watch the elephants play in the water. – David Crosby • I wanted to work with an elephant. – Robert Pattinson • I was born in love with all elephants. Not for a reason that I know. Not because of any of their individual qualities — wisdom, kindness, power, grace, patience, loyalty — but for what they are altogether. For their entire elephantness. – Pat Derby • I was driving pretty much the way everyone drives in LA, like elephants dancing on each others’ backs at a circus. – Gary Reilly • I was pretty shocked to learn that as many as 30,000 elephants are being killed every year to fuel the ivory trade, despite an international ban since 1989, and that 60% of forest elephants have already been wiped out. At this rate, experts say populations will become extinct in the next decade. No one needs ivory. – Ian Somerhalder • I will be doing a film called Whispers, for Disney. It’s about elephants, and doesn’t have any people in it. It will be a live action film – I don’t know how much I can say about it, since I still don’t know too much about it. – Trevor Rabin • I wore bell bottoms in elementary school. Never wore elephant bells. Remember, this was middle Oklahoma in the ’70s. – Garth Brooks • I worked next to an elephant. And considering that she could step on your toes, it’s a good idea to keep a certain distance. It’s also a good idea to befriend the trainer. – Christoph Waltz • If a playwright tried to see eye to eye with everybody, he would get the worst case of strabismus since Hannibal lost an eye trying to count his nineteen elephants during a snowstorm while crossing the Alps. – James Thurber • If anyone wants to know what elephants are like, they are like people only more so. – Pierre Corneille • If he be so resolved, I can o’ersway him; for he loves to hear That unicorns may be betrayed with trees And bears with glasses, elephants with holes, Lions with toils, and men with flatterers – William Shakespeare • If thou art of elephant-strength or of lion-claw, still peace is, in my opinion, better than strife. – Saadi • If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality. – Desmond Tutu • If you cannot find a good companion to walk with, walk alone, like an elephant roaming the jungle. It is better to be alone than to be with those who will hinder your progress. – Gautama Buddha • If you have appreciation for life, whether it is a planet or any wild species, if it’s a human or an elephant, death is really bad for all of us to adjust to. We are all going to die. When it happens in such a drastic, inhuman way, which we’ve been seeing in Africa, this is crime on its highest level. – Veronika Varekova • If you want to shoot rare, fast-moving elephants, you should always carry a loaded gun. – Warren Buffett • If you’ve got a great crew it’s intense, but its quite short. ‘The Elephant Man’ was longer than most, for an independent film. That was a 14 week film. But it was because of the intrinsic difficulties. We had to invent a different way of filming, because the makeup was so long. A working day for me with a full makeup on was nineteen hours. So obviously you couldn’t do that twice running. – John Hurt • If you’ve never seen an elephant ski, then you’ve never been on acid. – Eddie Izzard • I’ll do anything to keep everyone laughing. Things get too intense on film sets. I remember on The Elephant Man, I used to imitate a cat without moving my lips. David Lynch would say, “Cut! Sorry, we’ve got a noise somewhere on set.” Everyone would be looking around for this cat. – Anthony Hopkins • I’m like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it’s like, OK, he’s in there. – Aziz Ansari • I’m moved by us, our quirks and mistakes. I find inspiration in everything from a piece of art to the hem of a dress. I’m one of those people who sees Frank Zappa in a cup of coffee, or elephants wrestling in clouds. But also, conscious creation of all kinds moves me. And a divinely expressed performance in any genre sets me completely on fire. – Idara Victor • I’m one of those people who sees Frank Zappa in a cup of coffee, or elephants wrestling in clouds. But also, conscious creation of all kinds moves me. – Idara Victor • I’m really into moderation. Too much of anything will harm you in the end. Too much sugar. Too much pasta. I’m into drugs as a teaching tool, which is why I only take hallucinogenics. I mean, it’s not like I’ve never done cocaine, but, on the whole, if I can’t see dancing elephants then I’m not interested. – Tori Amos • In a manner which matches the fortuity, if not the consequence, of Archimedes’ bath and Newton’s apple, the [3.6 million year old] fossil footprints were eventually noticed one evening in September 1976 by the paleontologist Andrew Hill, who fell while avoiding a ball of elephant dung hurled at him by the ecologist David Western. – John Reader • In America you have the mouse now trying to sit down on the elephant, thinking that he’s going somewhere. And it’s – and it’s absurd. – Malcolm X • In Haydn’s oratorios, the notes present to the imagination not only motions, as, of the snake, the stag, and the elephant, but colors also; as the green grass. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • In terms of economical aspects, reinforcing those national parks with sophisticated anti-poaching patrols – these poachers are beefed up like the army. In the case of Cameroon, that’s a perfect example of the lack of finance. The government could not provide the national park with more guards. Therefore, they lost the majority of the elephant population. I don’t want to see that anywhere else. – Veronika Varekova • In the divine Scriptures, there are shallows and there are deeps; shallows where the lamb may wade, and deeps where the elephant may swim. – John Owen • In the sallies of badinage a polite fool shines; but in gravity he is as awkward as an elephant disporting. – Johann Georg Ritter von Zimmermann • Isimangaliso must be the only place on the globe where the oldest land mammal (rhinoceros) and the world biggest terrestrial mammal (elephant) share an ecosystem with the world’s oldest fish (coelacanth) and the world’s biggest marine mammal (whale) – Nelson Mandela • It happened while I was filming “Water for Elephants in which my partner is Reese Witherspoon. We had a scene with elephants but there were so many paparazzi around that it was scaring the animals and it was impossible to film. Out of the blue, fans, that were waiting for autographs, had enough and circled around the paparazzi. Teens made big guys run away. It was unreal! I was pleased. – Robert Pattinson • It is curious how there seems to be an instinctive disgust in Man for his nearest ancestors and relations. If only Darwin could conscientiously have traced man back to the Elephant or the Lion or the Antelope, how much ridicule and prejudice would have been spared to the doctrine of Evolution. – Havelock Ellis • It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant, but we can’t dodge a fly. – Josh Billings • It may surprise people to learn that one elephant is killed every 15 minutes for its ivory. – Li Bingbing • It wasn’t that I hated being asked a bunch of questions. I had nothing against questions. I just didn’t like listening to them, because some questions take forever to make sense. Sometimes waiting for a question to finish is like watching someone draw an elephant starting with the tail first. As soon as you see the tail your mind wanders all over the place and you think of a million other animals that also have tails until you don’t care about the elephant because it’s only one thing when you’ve been thinking about a million others. – Jack Gantos • It’s amazing how quickly human beings adapt, isn’t it? It was such a great crew, and David [Lynch] was wonderful to work with [on ‘The Elephant Man’]. It was a very thrilling time, actually. – John Hurt • It’s estimated that across Africa 100 elephants are killed for their tusks every day. It takes nothing more than simple math to get to what that adds up to in a year, and it’s a distressing figure. – Graydon Carter • It’s hard for the donkeys to win the race if they’re going to carry the elephants on their backs. – Jim Hightower • It’s very difficult to move yourself up bit by bit. It’s like trying to eat an elephant for God’s sake. I can do it. It’s just I have to have it bite by bite, you know. It’s possible. You can eat an elephant, but you have to do it bite by bite. You can’t do it all in one go. – Colin Montgomerie • Jackie had a keen eye for talent, and like an elephant never forgot. And, he was always right on the mark. – Audrey Meadows • Knowing what you need doesn’t always mean you know how to get it, though. I’d spent a long time hiding in my cave. No matter how much I might want to come out into the light, I knew it would hurt my eyes. I was a fool. A fool, but nevertheless too smart not to know I was the architect of my own demise, that it was time to put my past behind me. It was time to stop allowing the white elephants to stand unspoken of in my living room. – Megan Hart • Learning to play with a big amplifier is like trying to control an elephant. – Ritchie Blackmore • Leo couldn’t help smiling. “That could be fun.” “Fun” she said unhappily. “Blue elephants.” “Blue elephants.” “Kiss me you fool.” “You fool. – Rick Riordan • Letter 1 To the princess of the elephants, I disappeared exactly one year ago. On that day I received a letter. It called me back to the place where my life with the elephants began Please forgive me, for the silence between us has been unbroken for one year. I will never be more of myself than in these letters. They are my maps of the bird path, and they are all that I know to be true. – Gregory Colbert • Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is affected by every twitch and grunt. – Pierre Trudeau • Love will draw an elephant through a key-hole. – Samuel Richardson • Lured by the wilderness, and by the chance of spotting rare desert elephants, a few intrepid tourists make their way to the Skeleton Coast each year. It’s just about as remote as any tourist destination on earth, but one that pays fabulous dividends. – Tahir Shah • May an elephant caress you with his toes – ‘Little’ Jimmy Dickens • Media people should have long noses like an elephant to smell out politicians, mayors, prime ministers and businessmen. We need to know the reality, the good and the bad, not just the appearance. – Dalai Lama • Mother elephants in the circus cannot help their babies, but we can. – Edie Falco • Mumbling priests swinging stick cans on their chains and even witch doctors conjuring up curses with a well-buried elephant tooth have a better sense of their places in the world. They know this universe is brimming with magic, with life and riddles and ironies. They know that the world might eat them, and no encyclopedia could stop it. – N.D. Wilson • My biggest concern and main engagement with UNEP is focused on endangered species and illegal wildlife trade – mostly elephants, rhinos, etc. – Yaya Toure • My biggest influence growing up was Mad magazine, which is a very text-heavy form of visual satire. I didn’t grow up wanting to draw donkeys and elephants with the names of politicians written across them. – Tom Tomorrow • My drawing was not a picture of a hat. It was a picture of a boa constrictor digesting an elephant. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery • My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It’s in the apartment somewhere. – Steven Wright • My stepfather used to be a clown in The Shrine Circus. He took me backstage when I was 23. I saw three elephants chained to the cement floor in the warehouse of the Michigan State Fairgrounds. Sadness, hopelessness and fear were emanating from their eyes, from their bodies. They were swaying neurotically from side to side. A monkey was screaming in his cage, grabbing the bars of his prison. Two tigers were pacing feverishly in their tiny cages. Cruelty was staring me in the face. I knew something was wrong. If you pay attention to energy, you can tell when a fellow being is in peril. – Gary Yourofsky • Nature’s great masterpiece, an elephant; the only harmless great thing. – John Donne • Nothing appeases an enraged elephant so much as the sight of a little lamb. – Saint Francis de Sales • Now the freaks are on television, the freaks are in the movies. And it’s no longer the sideshow, it’s the whole show. The colorful circus and the clowns and the elephants, for all intents and purposes, are gone, and we’re dealing only with the freaks. – Jonathan Winters • Once there was an elephant Who tried to use the telephant. No! no! I mean an elephone Who tried to use the telephone. Dear me, I am not certain quite That even now I’ve got it right. – Laura E. Richards • One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know. – Groucho Marx • One researcher just determined that African and Indian elephants make each other sick. When a new animal or plant is introduced to a habitat bad things happen. The biggest danger to native wildlife is foreign wildlife. – Robert T. Bakker • Our elders say that an elephant does not find its own trunk heavy. – Zakes Mda • Our problem with limited resources is not primarily overpopulation; it is greed. Our problem with pollution is not the invention of fluorocarbons or mass transport; it is irresponsibility. The loss of an acre of forest every second, the mass slaughter of elephants for their ivory, the extinction of entire species of plants, insects and animals all over the world is not something that “just happens” because there are more of us human beings. It happens because the race of ruling beings put in charge has almost wholly lost its sense of stewardship. We have turned away from God. – Winkie Pratney • Over-population is the ’cause of drive-by shootings’ and other social ills, but the root of the problem is Christianity, which posits that people are more important than sea otters and elephants. – Ted Turner • People of conscience in our leadership in Washington have been scared off by the right and the fossil fuel lobbies. They won’t even use the term “sustainability” or “climate change” in an energy bill, which is ludicrous on its face. It completely ignores the elephant in the room that we’re all dealing with. The average American doesn’t even believe climate change is real, they think it’s all a hoax. – James Cameron • Plastic surgery is like a big elephant sitting in the Hollywood living room. – Patricia Heaton • Pointless. . . . Like giving caviar to an elephant. – William Faulkner • PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk. – Ambrose Bierce • Psychoanalysts and elephants, they never forget. – Arthur Laurents • Recently I stood in the desert, far out side of L. A., and watched the sun set on a circus tent from 1930. Every where stood animals: elephants, tigers that should be loaded into a steam train. 300 extras in costumes raced around, the modern world had disappeared totally. Although that was totally fake, it still happened directly before my eyes! That was my perfect day. I would be gladly experience that every day. It happens continually to me: It calls itself work. That is wonderful and more than enough. – Robert Pattinson • Seized ivory stocks around Africa are recycled back into illegal trade due to corruption. Ivory stocks should be burnt together with the hopes of traffickers for any “legal” way to allow them to slaughter our elephants. – Ofir Drori • Shallows where a lamb could wade and depths where an elephant would drown. – Matthew Henry • So I went home and I told my mom that I wanted to quit and be an actress and she said, “Huh, that sounds fascinating. It’s wonderful!” And I told my father and he literally said, “I don’t care if you want to be an elephant trainer if it makes you happy.” – Gena Rowlands • So oft in theologic wars, The disputants, I ween, Rail on in utter ignorance Of what each other mean, And prate about an Elephant Not one of them has seen! – John Godfrey Saxe • So slowly the hot elephant hearts grow full of desire, and the great beasts mate in secret at last, hiding their fire. – D. H. Lawrence • Soft fantasy worlds have a much looser cause-and-effect relationship. Alchemists can turn lead into gold and nobody wonders about how it will impact the currency system. Someone waves a wand and turns an elephant into a mouse and nobody worries about conservation of mass. – Patrick Rothfuss • Some women are like elephants. I don’t mean size, I mean they never forget. – Laura Schlessinger • Sybil’s female forebears had valiantly backed up their husbands as distant embassies were besieged, had given birth on a camel or in the shade of a stricken elephant, had handed around the little gold chocolates while trolls were trying to break into the compound, or had merely stayed at home and nursed such bits of husbands and sons as made it back from endless little wars. The result was a species of woman who, when duty called, turned into solid steel. – Terry Pratchett • The ability to double our biomass – not by waiting several million years and growing to be the size of an elephant – but waiting a few hundred thousand years for neurons to sprout into our brains – ones capable of having us create emotional relationships with other members of our species. We thereby double our biomass not by getting bigger, but by creating an ally. – John Medina • The Arab awakening was like watching elephants fly: something you didn’t expect, something you haven’t seen before, “Wow, elephants fly.” – Thomas Friedman • The Bible is a stream of running water, where alike the elephant may swim, and the lamb walk without losing its feet. – Pope Gregory I • The Buddhists have a story about blind men trying to describe an elephant by feeling it’s various parts, and each describes the elephant according to the part he touched. That is the way we can hope to know God. – Kent Nerburn • The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool. – Ambrose Bierce • The elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy; his legs are legs for necessity, not for flexure. – William Shakespeare • The elephant in the room time and time again when it comes to work and promotions is maternity leave. We need to work with businesses so they work with women and make it easy and supportive for them to come back into the workplace. – Mary Portas • The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it’s so full of dreams. Actually, it’s because his skull was shaped like a turkey. – Dana Gould • ‘The Elephant Man’ was hugely enjoyable to do. I thought the one stage, when Chris Tucker did the first makeup and it took 12 hours, I thought they’d actually found a way for me not to enjoy filming. – John Hurt • The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’ – Karl Pilkington • The elephant, not only the largest but the most intelligent of animals, provides us with an excellent example. It is faithful and tenderly loving to the female of its choice, mating only every third year and then for no more than five days, and so secretly as never to be seen, until, on the sixth day, it appears and goes at once to wash its whole body in the river, unwilling to return to the herd until thus purified. Such good and modest habits are an example to husband and wife. – Saint Francis de Sales • The elephant, the huge old beast, is slow to mate – D. H. Lawrence • The elephants were being slaughtered in masses. Some were even killed in the vicinity of big tourist hotels. – Richard Leakey • The fact that the infrastructure is falling apart is not necessarily because it’s built poorly. The New York City subways were built in 1903. The fact that they’re still running at all is an enormous success. The fact that New York City’s bridges have held up as long as they have is extraordinary, and the engineers didn’t have computers to tell them about tolerance. They overbuilt these things – traffic on them is like an ant on an elephant. – Alan Weisman • The illegal wildlife trade threatens not only the survival of entire species, such as elephants and rhinos, but also the livelihoods and, often, the very lives of millions of people across Africa who depend on tourism for a living. – Yaya Toure • The Internet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhoea – massive, difficult to re-direct, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. – Gene Spafford • The largest land animal is the elephant, and it is the nearest to man in intelligence: it understands the language of its country and obeys orders, remembers duties that it has been taught, is pleased by affection and by marks of honour, nay more it possesses virtues rare even in man, honesty, wisdom, justice, also respect for the stars and reverence for the sun and moon. – Pliny the Elder • The law of nature gives a man the right to defend himself when he’s attacked. And God’s law itself gives a man the right to defend himself when he’s attacked.so, peaceful suffering and passive resistance and all of that stuff is all right maybe in India somewhere, where the people in India outnumber the whites – about a million to one.But here in America, when you tell that’s like an elephant sitting down on a – on a mouse in India with [Mahatma] Gandhi. – Malcolm X • The mind is divided, like a rider on an elephant, and the rider’s job is to serve the elephant. The rider is our conscious reasoning-the stream of words and images of which we are fully aware. The elephant is the other 99 percent of mental processes-the ones that occur outside of awareness but that actually govern most of our behavior. – Jonathan Haidt • The problem is that during the 1980s, a decade of heavy poaching, the elephants retreated to safer areas. And now people have moved into the corridors once used by the elephants. – Richard Leakey • The question is, are we happy to suppose that our grandchildren may never be able to see an elephant except in a picture book? – David Attenborough • The reason I know about ‘Tomb Raider’ is from when I was researching ‘Elephant.’ It was 1999, and I was trying to research the Columbine-massacre kids, and they had played video games, and I, at the time, had never really seen one. It was a world I didn’t know. – Gus Van Sant • The sad thing about destroying the environment is that we’re going to take the rest of life with us. The bluebirds will be gone, and the elephants will be gone, and the tigers will be gone, and the pandas will be gone. – Ted Turner • The strongest animals on earth are plant eaters. Every creature we’ve enlisted to do the work we couldn’t handle – the horse, donkey, elephant, camel, water buffalo, ox, yak – is an herbivore… whose huge muscles were built from plant protein, and whose strong bones got that way, and stayed that way, from grazing on grass and eating other vegetables. – Victoria Moran • The thing about movie musicals is that there have been some brilliant ones, but when they’re bad, they’re really bad – big white elephants. – Rob Marshall • The United States should not jump around like an elephant frightened by a mouse. – George F. Kennan • The whole idea of being in captivity in such limited space, especially in a zoo, causes elephants to suffer. They develop all kinds of foot diseases. They die. They get cysts. Not only is it painful, it eventually kills them. – Lily Tomlin • The whole new Democratic Party is the old Republican Party. We have a whole bunch of elephants running around in donkey’s clothes. – Robert Novak • The world is hollow. It’s a lot to take in. Like cracking an egg and finding nothing inside. Or a full grown elephant. – Geraldine McCaughrean • The world is not a burden; we make it a burden by our desires. When the desires are removed, the world is as light as a feather on an elephant’s back. – Baba Hari Dass • The world’s strongest animals are plant eaters. Gorillas, Buffaloes, Elephants and me. – Patrik Baboumian • There are some people the gestation period is like an elephant’s and it’s just years and years before they’re ready. – John Amaechi • There are, broadly speaking, two types of drinkers. There is the man whom we all know, stupid, unimaginative, whose brain is bitten numbly by numb maggots; who walks generously with wide-spread, tentative legs, falls frequently in the gutter, and who sees, in the extremity of his ecstasy, blue mice and pink elephants…. The other type of drinker has imagination, vision. Even when most pleasantly jingled he walks straight and naturally, never staggers nor falls, and knows just where he is and what he is doing. It is not his body but his brain that is drunken. – Jack London • There is no creature among all the Beasts of the world which hath so great and ample demonstration of the power and wisdom of almighty God as the Elephant. – Edward Topsell • There’s a place in Botswana where there are 100,000 elephants living in a single population. Think of the amount of space they need. Remember, the United States would fit in Africa three times over and there would still be space. That’s how big Africa is. – Patrick Bergin • There’s enough sedative in these darts to bring down a werewolf, which is exactly what we’re hunting. Why would we want to bring down an elephant if we’re not hunting elephants? – Derek Landy • These magnificent species of Africa – elephants, rhino, lions, leopards, cheetah, the great apes (Africa has four of the world’s five great apes) – this is a treasure for all humanity, and they are not for sale. They are not for trade. They need to be valued and preserved by humanity. We all need a global commitment to that. – Patrick Bergin • They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist… – John Sedgwick • They say that vegetable food is not sufficiently nutritious. But chemistry proves the contrary. So does physiology. So does experience….And again: the largest and strongest animals in the world are those which eat no flesh-food of any kind – the elephant and the rhinoceros. – R. Trall • Time magazine put Chris Christie on the cover with the caption, ‘The Elephant in the Room.’ And People magazine named him ‘Sexiest Garbage Truck in a Suit.’ – Bill Maher • To achieve this density of a neutron star at home, just cram a herd of 50 million elephants into the volume of a thimble. – Neil deGrasse Tyson • To be a baby elephant must be wonderful. Surrounded by a loving family 24 hours a day. Touched by the family, cuddled and comforted. A tremendous love and compassion exuded by every family member. I think it must be how it ought to be, in a perfect world. – Daphne Sheldrick • To keep a man a slave you do much the same as the cruel circus masters did to the elephant around the turn of last century. Clamp heavy chains around their legs and stake them to the ground. Then beat and terrorize them. After a while you no longer even have to stake the chain; the elephant gives up and just the mere rattle of the chain convinces the elephant there is no hope, so they give up and do whatever it is the circus requires. – Glenn Beck • Use a sweet tongue, courtesy, and gentleness, and thou mayest manage to guide an elephant by a hair. – Saadi • We admire elephants in part because they demonstrate what we consider the finest human traits: empathy, self-awareness, and social intelligence. But the way we treat them puts on display the very worst of human behavior. – Graydon Carter • We already live a very long time for mammals, getting three times as many heartbeats as a mouse or elephant. It never seems enough though, does it? – David Brin • We are having to pull money into site-level protection for elephants just to keep them alive. But there isn’t enough money to go around. The people involved in protecting those elephants, like rangers on the ground, are so under-resourced. They have very few vehicles, they have very poor weapons (if any weapons at all), and they are treated as the bottom of the tree when it comes to law enforcement priority. – Allen Crawford • We are not the only animal that mourns; apes do, and elephants, and dogs. Yet we are the only one that tortures. – Geraldine Brooks • We are the bird’s eggs. Bird’s eggs, flowers, butterflies, rabbits, cows, sheep, we are caterpillars; we are leaves of ivy and springs of wildflower. We are women. We rise from the wave. We are gazelle and doe, elephant and whale, lilies and roses and peach, we are air, we are flame, we are oyster and pearl, we are girls. We are woman and nature. And he says he cannot hear us speak. But we hear. – Susan Griffin • We call a thing big or little with reference to what it is wont to be, as we speak of a small elephant or a big rat. – D’Arcy Wentworth Thompson • We can’t have these great corporations crowding competition off the sidewalks. It’s like an elephant saying, “Everyone for himself,” as he dances among the chickens. – Emanuel Celler • We did a campaign here with New York Times. We had a great ad: “Today in America, someone will kill an elephant for a bracelet.” We became sensitized in our society. Now there are four or five billion people in Asia who need to get this message. We need to use social media, print magazines, celebrities – anything we can to share this message. It’s not cool, it’s not okay. You are destroying beautiful animals. You are robbing a continent of its wealth. And you are hurting a lot of innocent people. – Patrick Bergin • We have all seen these circus elephants complete with tusks, ivory in their head and thick skins, who move around the circus ring and grab the tail of the elephant ahead of them. – John F. Kennedy • We have to be aggressive when those we stick up for have no voice. I don’t consider it radical to say cruelty is wrong and that animals should be respected. I consider it radical to eat corpses, put electrodes in animals’ heads, make elephants live in chains in the circus, and poison animals we consider a nuisance. – Ingrid Newkirk • We shall not attempt to give the reader an idea of that tetrahedron nose-that horse-shoe mouth-that small left eye over-shadowed by a red bushy brow, while the right eye disappeared entirely under an enormous wart-of those straggling teeth with breaches here and there like the battlements of a fortress-of that horny lip, over which one of those teeth projected like the tusk of an elephant-of that forked chin-and, above all, of the expression diffused over the whole-that mixture of malice, astonishment, and melancholy. Let the reader, if he can, figure to himself this combination. – Victor Hugo • We’ll be back to our nature documentary, ‘Baggy the Anorexic Elephant’ in just a second. – Colin Mochrie • Well, the big elephant in the whole system is the baby boomer generation that marches through like a herd of elephants. And we begin to retire in 2008. – Lindsey Graham • Whales, like elephants, are so social and intelligent. This hurts me to think of them being transported, put in noisy airplanes, and brought to a horrible concrete pen when they’re supposed to be out in the sea. – Jane Goodall • What ever happened to freak shows? Back in the twenties when elephant man was born at least he had a job waiting for him. – Doug Stanhope • What is bigger than an elephant? But this also is become man’s plaything, and a spectacle at public solemnities; and it learns to skip, dance, and kneel – Plutarch • What is the elephant in all our rooms? It is the global triumph of capitalism. Democracy is fiercely disputed. Freedom is under threat even in old-established democracies such as Britain. Western supremacy is on the skids. But everyone does capitalism. Americans and Europeans do it. Indians do it. Russian oligarchs and Saudi princes do it. Even Chinese communists do it… Karl Marx would be turning in his grave. Or perhaps not, since some of his writings eerily foreshadowed our era of globalised capitalism. His prescription failed but his description was prescient. – Timothy Garton Ash • What is true for E. coli is also true for the elephant. – Jacques Monod • What? Men dodging this way for single bullets? What will you do when they open fire along the whole line? I am ashamed of you. They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance. – John Sedgwick • When children see animals in a circus, they learn that animals exist for our amusement. Quite apart from the cruelty involved in training and confining these animals, the whole idea that we should enjoy the humiliating spectacle of an elephant or lion made to perform circus tricks shows a lack of respect for the animals as individuals. – Peter Singer • When eating an elephant take one bite at a time. – Creighton W. Abrams, Jr. • When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, and there was no one there to hear it, does it – philosopically speaking – make a noise – Terry Pratchett • When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run. – Abraham Lincoln • Where do they go when they die? We hear of the elephant graveyards, where the elephants go to die, but how much more curious it is that birds are not falling out of the sky all the time, on our heads, at our feet, dying and falling and flopping to the ground. I rarely see a dead bird on the ground. – Sophy Burnham • Whereas all humans have approximately the same life expectancy the life expectancy of stars varies as much as from that of a butterfly to that of an elephant. – George Gamow • Whereas an elephant that was scared to death that diesel powered equipment, equipment that ran on a gas engine, was just fine. Because somebody had attacked it with construction equipment. But if it had a diesel engine, it was bad. – Temple Grandin • While I had often said that I wanted to die in bed, what I really meant was that in my old age I wanted to be stepped on by an elephant while making love. – Roger Zelazny • Women and elephants never forget an injury. – Hector Hugh Munro • Women and elephants never forget. – Dorothy Parker • Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one. – W. C. Fields • Words are cheap. The biggest thing you can say is “elephant”. – Charlie Chaplin • Yeah, Kubrick’s a big influence. In something like ‘A Clockwork Orange,’ he is trying to use the practical light – I mean, at least he says that in his interviews, like they’re not using traditionally Hollywood lights. In ‘Elephant’ we basically used no lights; we never really adjusted. – Gus Van Sant • You can eat an elephant if you do it one bite at a time. – Robert Christopher Riley • You know, that stuff about pink elephants, that’s the bunk. It’s little animals. Little tiny turkeys in straw hats. Midget monkeys coming through the keyholes. – Billy Wilder • You know…they say an elephant never forgets. What they don’t tell you is, you never forget an elephant. – Bill Murray • You see, in a world where elephants are pursued by flying men, people are just naturally going to want to get high. – Judith Rascoe • You’ve got to shake your fists at lightning now, you’ve got to roar like forest fire You’ve got to spread your light like blazes all across the sky They’re going to aim the hoses on you, show ’em you won’t expire Not till you burn up every passion, not even when you die Come on now, you’ve got to try, if you’re feeling contempt, well then you tell it If you’re tired of the silent night, Jesus, well then you yell it Condemned to wires and hammers, strike every chord that you feel That broken trees and elephant ivories conceal – Joni Mitchell
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