#i literally only ramble as much as i do bc

[0ann3]

It's Yuri x2 ALKJSHADKJHS (I'm so sorry if I accidentally did a double tag bcs I made a mistake on the previous post TToTT)

Anyway, obsessed with this AU that I couldn't help but also try after checking out others' OCs!!! I was supposed to only do one of them, but I've reached the point where these two cannot be separated and I must also throw the other if I'm using them in an au lolol

And I am very thankful for the full body pose references available in the drawing app I'm using since I can't properly draw figures in my phone-

More info about them under the cut (like, it's a lot of random ramblings and a huge wall of text that I'm going to apologize in advanceeee)-----

First of all, for the sake of my sanity, I will call Yuri Takeba as "Yu" and Yuri Haruto as "Yuri" LMAO

I think both of them really wouldn't mind if Quartz does something suspicious right in front of them. But.

If she kills in front of Yu, they would literally pretend that they saw nothing, laugh it off nonchalantly and will not tell anyone about it. While they look very calm, they are definitely going to try avoiding her as much as possible.

If she kills in front of Yuri, then he's going to tackle her down and turn her in to the authorities. Despite appearances, he is pretty strong and can fight multiple people at the same time. Also, for Yuri's second additional information, it's more like if his friend got hurt/killed in Quartz's schemes, then he'll do some investigations and gather evidences to confirm if she's the one who did it, and he'll either report her or take revenge.

Then for more info abt them in this AU!!!:

For YU

Their inventory simply consists of pen, their phone, and camera. They're simply using the camera since they thought it'll be a waste to leave it home collecting dust, and now they're taking random pictures to reminisce at in the future (but if something bad happens at school and they get to witness it firthand, then they're going to stop using it.) They're more of a random background npc who's there to fill the space in the academy. Their reputation is a bit neutral since they rarely do anything to stand out. They like causing mischief and teasing others, but only to those they know well/they're at least friends with .

For YURI:

His inventory consists of his phone and a swiss army knife. He doesn't really use the swiss army knife, nor show it around others. He thinks it could be useful for emergencies, but still doesn't pull it out when he needs to cut something and the scissors are missing. He's an npc that becomes more troublesome when more suspicious things happens. Neutral reputation, although his is a bit lower than Yu because how does he know other's usual schedule/routine???? Crush is also "???" because there's a small chance that he might admit to himself that he likes Azul? (Like, dang, I can't believing I'm outing the plans I had for this character in this AU and not on the more detailed info about my OCs LMAO) (It's a pure coincidence because on the personal fanfic that I wrote with him as the MC, he had like, a nice dynamic with Azul that I couldn't help but ship them as I go along with the story ToT) (But in this AU, as much as he would probably like to try asking him out, he thinks that he doesn't deserve such happiness and it'll be a waste if he ends up with him, that he uses an excuse of 'it's troublesome to try when there's so many girls wanting to ask him out already', so he's going to stick sa an npc) (In that small chance where he does became a rival though and he became protective of Azul, I think his elimination method would involve kicking him out of school or discovering one of his biggest secrets.)

Oh, and Yu wouldn't mind being called Takeba (because wow, there's so many people with Yu in their names-), but Yuri doesn't like being called by his last name that he'll most likely request to call him by first name or by a nickname (he has a good relationship with his family dw. It's more of something along the lines that he doesn't think that he lives up to his family name so he's trying his best to become someone who does)

No Yandere Simulator ? (TWST AU)

AU Information:

This AU takes place similar to Yandere Sim but with Twisted Wonderland but Taro is Azul and Ayano is Quartz. Her goal is to eliminate… AZUL ASHENGROTTO. Yeah, her goal is actually to kill Azul and NOT the rivals. The rivals being your OCs/sonass and they have to protect Azul from Quartz and her dumb elimination plans.

More info on Quartz + Tweels info

Q&A for OCs!!!

This is an AU just for fun!! lol I just had a silly idea. Here’s a template if you wanna make your own oc into the AU (rival or not)

ALSO THEY DONT KNOW IT'S QUARTZ bc she's just a nobody girl

Bro you can tell I was hella lazy with Azul idk he’s too much

Rival List:

Romeo by @skrimpyskimpy

Shuu by @oya-oya-okay

Chiyo by @inotonline

Sable by @twsted-void

Jovie by @jovieinramshackle

Finn by @thehollowwriter

NPC/Non-Rival List:

Elfie by @quartzelfgf

Higashikuramori Shin by @liyuviq

Jade Leech

Floyd Leech

Rizy by @rizdoodls

Yuuki by @theolivetree123

Joseph by @readsrandomstuff67

Yuubeni by @bunniehunn

Yuya by @cheerleaderman

Shuu and Silly by @sillybillymillyrilly

Superstar!! By @imafrealinrainbow478484

Viz (Vizzie) by @twistedwonderlandshenanigans

Yuhua by @distant-velleity

Nyx by @blackcat101

Gia by @ramshacklerumble

Yuuko by @silkkorchid

Moch by @thatsadguymochi

Faye by @faerieluvss

Yukana by @babyghoul138

Antoinette by @antoinettedoodles

AJ by @karamatsuboy-aj

Evelyuu by @h0neybane

Paloma and Hydris by @mhedusard

(Let me know if I made a mistake lol)

[starry-bi-sky]

on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

[sunnymainecoonx]

I know damn well I misunderstood the assignment but we roll, I'll understand it some day

It's killer and dust btw. If you couldn't tell. Which you probably couldn't.. forgor to say but shhh 🤫 Killers having a convo with himself..

..I kinda wanna change my url but idk to what

[bitegore]

Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.

Don't do their work for them.

[fumifooms]

Makima, devils and self-fulfillment

Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?

The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:

"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)

So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time

She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"

~

The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.

Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.

And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.

This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.

She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.

And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.

In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.

Devils and agency

Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.

Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~

But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?

And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.

We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.

Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.

Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.

Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.

[perfectoffering]

𝙹𝙴𝙼𝙸𝙼𝙰 𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙽 ⤐ @praedictas ( 𝙹𝙾𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙰𝙽 𝙼𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙴𝙽𝚉𝙸𝙴 )

✧ . 𝚂𝙷𝙴'𝙳  𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁  𝙱𝙴  𝙰𝙱𝙻𝙴  𝚃𝙾  𝙳𝙴𝙽𝚈  𝙹𝚄𝚂𝚃  𝙷𝙾𝚆  𝚃𝙴𝙼𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙰𝙽  𝙾𝙵𝙵𝙴𝚁  𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂  𝙸𝚂.   the  true  dilemma  lies  in  the  cyclical  nature  of  the  logic  due  to  intermeshed  motivations  behind  each  choice.   she  has  to  take  a  moment  to  consider  her  choices   —   —  (  no,   it's  right.   i've  figured  it  out!   i  could  never  do  it  before.   i  think  i'm  getting  smarter.   it's  a  piece  of  cake!   )  something  about  the  nature  of  this  particular  quandary  feels  eerily  familiar.   not  quite  deja  vu,   but  a  close  cousin.   on  one  hand,   part  of  her  drive  to  be  closer  to  jonathan  comes  from  a  desire  to  succeed  in  the  theatre.   if  she  chooses  the  musical  herself,   success  is  practically  guaranteed.   but  on  the  other  hand,   she  wants  so  badly  to  succeed  in  order  to  impress  him,   and  this  is  a  rare  opportunity  to  encounter  him  outside  of  normal  operating  hours.   he  extends  one  little sweater paw of a hand,   and  she  can  hardly  suppress  a  smile.   impulsively,   her  hand  claps  to  her  mouth,   trying  to  contain  what  she's  sure  is  a  goofy,   childlike  grin.   eyes  flick  back  to  his  face,   and  she  feels  a  BLUSH  into  her  cheeks.   wyatt  is  beautiful.   wyatt  is  maybe  her  soulmate,   but   —   they're  not  even  dating.   not  yet.   the  way  people  are,   maybe  not  ever.   there's  no  harm  in  a  little  crush,   right?   gaze  drops  from  deep  brown  eyes  to  his  lips  with  the  quirk  on  one  side.   "deal."  she  gently,   softly,   slowly  slides  her  hand  into  his  own.   and  jemima's  eyes  meet  jonathan's  again.   "c'mon,   you're  telling  me  you  were  never  the  precocious  eight  year  old  entertaining  a  room  full  of  your  parents  friends?"  and  the  soft  pink  underbelly  is  hidden  behind  humor  once  more.   time  and  a  place  for  everything.   "persons  of  ambition  are  encouraged  to  build  friendships  with  people  more  socially  advanced  than  they  are,   and  not  just  their  equals."  of  course  she  has  friends  her  own  age.   she'd  go  crazy  if  she  couldn't  hole  up  with  dylan  and  jin  once  a  week  and  drink  herself  into  a  stupor,   takeout  and  rom  coms  optional.   "dylan  is  my  best  friend  and  i  would  die  for  her,   but  i  would  very  politely  lie  my  way  out  of  an  obligation  to  her  if  you  ever  unclenched  enough  to  let  me  actually  get  to  know  you."  it's  the  TRUTH,   pathetic  as  it  is.   it's  just  a  shame  she  has  no  idea  how  much  ammunition  she's  handing  him.

the only reason jemima found out about anything before anyone else was because she frequently pestered him to no end. most people annoyed him to no end regardless, but jemima annoyed him more than anyone else. he put up with her antics simply because she was the best performer he had, and even he could admit he owed much of his success to her. " tell you what, i'll let you help me pick a musical if it means you'll let me enjoy the festival in peace? " he offers what he believes is a rather tempting offer, knowing how eager jemima would be to not only show off her theater knowledge around him but also to brag about being given the opportunity to have a say in the spring musical. " do we have a deal? " he offers his hand, sleeves of his emerald green sweater pulled around his palms.

" what, are you incapable of making friends your own age? " he knew for a damn fact that was untrue, given her friend status with his daughter, but he'd rather toy with jemima longer, relish in the idea that dylan was so ashamed of him she'd kept their relationship hidden from even her best friend. " what about that little blonde i see you with? don't tell me i'm more interesting. " if dylan were to find out about this conversation she'd surely smother him in his sleep, but it was worth it just to see the look on her face. while he was her father, his petty childishness refused to cease. after all, dylan had started it.

[astrobei]

strangest thing about being active in fic communities especially as a writer is how often i just see people complaining about all the stuff they hate in fic?? like in my/others’ comments or tags or even just posts on my dash being like “oh i hate this au and this au and this au and i can’t stand this trope and this hc makes me want to stab someone and usually i hate this sort of fic but i guess you did it alright and i don’t know why people like this widely accepted but inconsequential fan theory bc i personally hate it bc i only care about canon. and i also hate this au btw.” like why are you even here if the only things you want to read are canon compliant in-universe fics that don’t integrate any popular fanon theories or hcs or interpretations that can’t be backed up with 3 pages of meta analysis to prove it could happen. that also align exactly with your specific tastes. And you’re in fic writers’ comments telling them all the things you usually hate about fics that are in their fic but are bestowing upon them the honor of your approval This One Time. like do you guys even have anything generally positive to say about something that is your own interest and/or hobby be honest

[thegreatyin]

How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable

there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??

a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!

i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.

i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-

hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.

the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

[mapicccc]

I feel like i talk about kinning mape too much but also. this is my blog I can do what I want. I should do it more.

[ssphiree]

not to dsmp post in the year 2025 but ive been sitting on this take for 4 years and i have to get it out of my system. i never joined the fandom online back then when it was all happening bc of how wild the community could be sometimes but ive been sitting on this for SO long n its been long enough i think

c!ranboo was one of my absolute favourites and i loved him SO much but heavily disagreed with one thing from him

on doomsday (one of the doomsdays bc there were like 3 or something) he had that moment where he ended up yelling at everyone over taking 'sides' and why they all had to be fighting & why couldnt we all just be neutral and peaceful instead of splitting into separate distinct opposing teams etc etc etc and i can almost kind of see how hed have a point - however there are issues with that standpoint SUCH AS -

lets look at the two sides: on one you have the strongest most skilled people decked out head to toe in the most absolute top of the chain gear - c!dream, c!techno & c!phil, whose aim is to absolutely and completely decimate l'manberg with their withers and obsidian bomb dispenser they have spanning across the entirety of the whole place

on the other side you have the people who have nothing. those were just kids trying to keep their homes, and they had nothing to fight with after the other side raided all their gear and got rid of it all. they fought tooth and nail to keep their homes time and time again with the odds stacked higher and higher against them each time

imo l'manberg had 3 main people involved that really contributed to its downfall, & only one was there on doomsday - c!dream. the other two were c!wilbur & c!schlatt. they were the big 3 involved in the l'manberg politics who were adults & not children following orders/defending themselves (which is why i dont include c!tommy/c!tubbo etc in that list). they were the corrupt power hungry quote unquote "politicians" (for lack of a better word) that projected all their issues onto everyone else and dragged them all into it

(if you squint you could technically include c!eret in that list, but imo in reality they were really only just another pawn for c!dreams big game of chess as a way to pitt the opposition against each other & gain power over them, c!eret never really had actual power/rule over anyone or anything they just lived in a castle and took c!dreams word for it. also they redeemed themselves and rejoined the freedom side anyway)

lets start with c!wilbur - he was very manipulative, he liked having control & he craved power but there wasnt really an opportunity for it, so he built the van and attempted to start a potion 'empire' by seizing control over a commonly used item (brewing stands) to gain leverage over the more powerful players. he dragged other vulnerable & generally powerless people (yknow, like children) into it & used them as his building blocks to the top. c!tommy is the biggest victim of this from him. once the potion empire thing stopped working out thats when he shifted the narrative to the freedom-fighting-rebellious nation we came to know l'manberg for. he sparked that (he sparked it & the others kept it alive because they really believed in it and really believed in him) and at first i think he to an extent genuinely did believe in it and really did want freedom for him and his people with little to no other conscious intentions, but the subconscious want for power was always there and bubbled to the surface as he spiralled really far into corruption in the pogtopia arc (what started as "a special place where men can go and emancipate the brutality and the tyranny of their rulers" became "IF I CANT HAVE L'MANBERG NO ONE CAN PHIL")

then c!dream - even from before l'manberg he was fighting c!tommy over his music discs, & i guess that just cemented c!tommy as the no1 enemy in his brain for the rest of time even though c!tommy was really just a loud kid trying to get by. he was also power hungry and wanted to keep all the power he had so he felt threatened by the formation of l'manberg. other less powerful people taking some level of control & separating themselves from him startled him, especially with c!tommy involved in the opposition. he knew he was the most powerful on the server & didnt want anyone else to forget that so he consistently used fear and force to remind the others how much stronger he was than them, the main victims being l'manberg and its citizens as they were the first and biggest group to rebel against him (and the group with c!tommy in it but thats neither here nor there). he struggled to accept the idea of people having some kind of autonomy to lead a life separate from the server he ruled over (he even said blatantly he would never think of l'manberg as free, only that he would let them delusionally believe they were free in his discussion with c!tommy)

and c!schlatt was just your run of the mill big bad in your face power hungry corrupt politician. he wasnt super manipulative or anything similar to the other two, he was just an evil dude that, again, was power hungry and corrupt like c!wilbur and c!dream. he dragged others into it by using c!quackity to gain leverage in the election via votes, and by keeping the citizens of l'manberg manberg under his crazy authoritarian control and he did that pretty much mostly out of enjoyment and greed. he liked that he intimidated the people around him and frequently used that to his advantage because it amused him

it was those 3 that created the us vs them dynamic & pitted everyone else against each other by creating 'sides' because they were the ones who wanted the power, and they were the ones who dragged everyone else into their conflicts. they were greedy and self centred and made that everyones problem

ones like c!techno & c!phil arent included in that list because they were never greedy for power over other people, they were just people who happened to be powerful. they mostly just kept to themselves in their little cottages but because of the perceived rivalry that was created by the Big 3 and then projected onto everyone else, they declared l'manberg to be the problem. even though c!schlatt and c!wilbur were out of the picture by that point, their actions had left the repuatation of l'manberg tainted from the perspective of those outwith the country itself, whereas the people left behind in it (like c!tommy & c!tubbo etc etc) just saw it as their home, just the place that they lived in and had built their lives. the others outside had grown to view l'manberg as the cause for all the servers problems because of the way it separated itself from the rest of the server and was another thing, and because of the actions of the corrupted leaders itd began with (and also - l'manberg was really the only place for people to fight for power over with the political system it had set up, no one really ever challenged c!dreams position of power over the rest of the server, only within l'manberg at least until that final disc battle)

it was very much a punch up vs punch down dynamic that people like c!techno and c!phil and even c!ranboo couldnt really see, because they all lived comfortably with powerful top of the chain gear far away from all the main conflict, and none of them were actually present for the beginnings of the conflict. none of them were present to witness the disc war or the formation of l'manberg, they were never there to hear c!dream tell c!tommy that hed never see them as free from him as c!tommy handed him the disc. they joined at the height of it all where the two "sides" were already very distinct and at war with each other

c!techno joined at the point of c!schlatt being in charge of l'manberg and at that point he was helping the underdogs because in that moment c!tommy and c!wilbur asked for his help and shared his goals - to overthrow a tyrannical corrupt government. then c!wilbur, knowing full well he was right about to blow up the country within the next few minutes, shoveled all the power and responsibility of the country over onto a kid (c!tommy, who then immediately handed it back to him & then he immediately handed it over to c!tubbo). by the time c!phil joined c!tubbo was already president (& had only been for like five minutes) and c!wilbur was in the midst of blowing up the country (note - c!wilbur had the presidency and had l'manberg under his rule again, he chose to hand it off to c!tubbo and then carry out his plan to blow it up while telling c!phil "if i cant have this no one can")

c!techno was never there to see the way l'manberg itself began as a challenge to a tyrannical rule (because although c!wilbur was manipulative and corrupt and power hungry, ultimately he did have a leg to stand on with his methods which is why it worked so well for him and why he was so easily able to paint that picture of oppression - the canvas was already sketched and lined) and continued to exist as a rebellion against an even worse system than itself. at that point c!wilbur was still seen as the 'good guy' who just wanted freedom for his nation from the tyrannical authoritarian rule of c!dream, so c!schlatt suddenly coming into power was a sharp left turn government wise, and c!techno just joined right at that sharp left turn moment where the big bad evil government had just came in and made some significant differences. differences not only in the economic system of l'manberg but also tainting the core values that once held the citizens of it so high and hopeful against corruption. so c!techno never saw that rebellious freedom fighting nation that l'manberg started off as and was supposed to always be, he only saw it as the nation with the corrupt government

c!phil was in a similar situation, he also never saw it as that rebellious freedom fighting nation and only saw the damage that the power hungry corrupt people had done to it. he joined right at the crucial moment and only saw the conflict and damage surrounding the country of l'manberg. because of this he ended up adopting the perception that the place itself was the problem if it was causing this many issues this severe. he failed to notice that after c!wilbur and c!schlatt were both out of the picture the problems between l'manberg specifically and the rest of the server were only being revived on c!dreams end, and c!tubbo as the new leader of l'manberg did not start conflicts (although the butchers army is a whooole other ballgame but thats not what this post is about - that was mainly spearheaded by c!quackity- who is again a whooooole other post)

if c!tommy hadnt declined the presidency then c!dream wouldve been slightly more justified in having a go at l'manberg as a whole for the whole burning-down-c!georges-house-thing, but ultimately it seemed more like he just wanted to flex his power over them even more. just as another reminder he could tear them down any moment he wanted to without a single second thought- he used it as A. another opportunity to keep the citizens of l'manberg fearful of him (almost like a kind of "remember whos really in charge here" type deal - again think back to he & c!tommys original negotiations of freedom in the og revolution) and B. another opportunity to punch down on c!tommy specifically (exile arc is another whooooole other post), he was given an inch and he took a mile. c!tommy explicitly stated that the reason he did not take the presidency was specifically so that any business/issues with c!dream would stay exclusively between him and c!dream without dragging the rest of l'manberg into it but c!dream ignored that entirely

c!ranboo joined right at that moment, of c!dream enforcing his power over l'manberg, but he saw c!tommy technically strike first with burning down c!georges house. he didnt see all the previous strikes c!dream had made on c!tommy & l'manberg. he just saw c!tommy make a move and then saw c!dream make a move back, therefore creating a back and forth rivalry dynamic which, in his eyes, could easily just cease if theyd stop pitting against each other and lived peacefully. he doesnt seem to notice just quite how corrupt and power hungry c!dream really is especially when it comes to c!tommy and l'manberg, he only notices different people teaming up to fight against each other & not a case of oppressed vs oppressor. c!ranboo, like c!phil and c!techno has never really had too much of an issue with getting a hold of good armour and weapons and equipment, and hasnt really had anyone like c!dream stand in his way to take everything from him the way everyone in l'manberg has. c!ranboo has had issues with c!dream and has been used by him (another whooooole separate post), but he seemed to focus slightly less on the 'c!dream using any tactic available to him to enforce his power on everyone' side of things and moreso the 'what is wrong with me i need to figure out why this is possible for him to do this to me' side of things

theyve all heard about all the wars and conflicts etc from before they all joined, but they struggled to fully really empathise and actually see it from the others perspectives. this is why c!ranboo was wrong in his view on 'taking sides' on doomsday

[gregmarriage]

in may, it’ll be two years since succ ended, and i can’t ever even imagine leaving it behind

[fumifooms]

I’ve never really been into kabrin but the name of the game with them is angst anyways, right, and it clicked in an interesting way for me for a sec a while back while chatting with buddies…

The timeline where he likes her back but he pushes her away because he’s scared of hurting women, being unlovable and ruining people who decide to stay with him’s lives etc etc… The guilt yet the desire that make him act flip floppy and just push him further into "think about nothing else except your plans" mentality… But then the thing that made me 👀⁉️ is Kabru worrying he’s the child of a succubus/incubus in the context of them… He ISN’T but his anxiety that he might be, adds another layer to their angle and omg?

Like Kabru esp with Rin already has that condescending but caring "I can’t possibly give you what you want, because I know better than you do what you want and need (and I’m not that)", the "No, Rin, you don’t want to be involved with me, I won’t let you ruin your life by choosing to stay with me. I know what you really want and need more than you and I am pushing you away for your own good", but with the incubus insecurity slapped on top of it… It’s Kabru feeling even worse about Rin loving him and even more unfit to receive or reciprocate it. It’s Kabru feeling like there’S NO POSSIBLE WAY Rin’s love for him could be genuine, that she could love ~the real him~ or do so genuinely. Because he has his persona he puts on, first of all, and since he doesn’t let down his walls around Rin either imo he thinks he’s got her dancing to its tune, so first it’s like well ok she doesn’t love me she just knows this shell of me, she just latched onto me because we went through similar trauma at the same time and then she got attached to this persona of someone perfect who isn’t me- AND THEN THERE’S THE GUILT THERE’S THE DESPAIR BECAUSE AS AN INCUBUS HE THINKS ANY LOVE OR ATTENTION HE GETS IS INNATELY COERCED? Without mentioning how because he got chased out of his hometown because of his blue eyes, he knows how damning attention can be too, with how his mother was cast out because she stuck with him he knows how dangerous just someone choosing him as a priority can ruin them. Being in the spotlight is a curse and by being magnetic you can be a plague—

He holds back. Can never be too wanting. Too possessive, too intense. He has to be a gentleman—the furthest possible thing from a monster who ravishes. It has to all be calculated, so he stays in control. Feeling like a monster because even as he tries to keep her at a distance, he can't let her go. He is possessive, he does lead her on, even as he tries not to…

Rin’s love for him for years and years STILL can’t be true because it’s all just. Not real. Her love is coerced, it’s manipulated, it’s forced out of her by magic and cunning and I am the worst man alive for it, even if just caused subconsciously or unwillingly— and an even worse one for sort of wanting her love despite it all. He’s ruining her life having her follow him and help his cause like he ruined his mother’s. It’s not me, it’s the fake, it’s the surface, it’s the magic…. He feels unlovable so of course with his bestie he wants to protect who’s into him it’s like, no I can’t indulge her that because it’s fake love it’s manipulated it’s just magic or brain chemistry or infatuation, anything that discounts it because I can’t allow myself to think it’s real and true and genuine and for me and if it was then it’s scary in new ways.

And the thing is that NOOOO Rin DOES know him she’s tired of his fake ass! She nags him because she cares and part of her gets really frustrated because of how much he hides himself under layers of pretense!! She’s reaching in and he’s pulling away again and again further and further away! They’re childhood friends, the only meaningful one that we know of, maybe the only one they had, and yes they went through trauma that defined their relationship but what fuels Rin to follow Kabru is that she knows he ISN’T perfect, because she’s worried for him. And he wants her there too but he also wants to keep her distant from him, he just wanted to get her out of the elves’ grasp, wanted her safe and free too, and still he lets her orbit around him without ever letting her in almost at all and it’s all sooo frustrating and!! Kabru taking on this "your love for me isn’t genuine :/" spiel would make them have such delish convos and wake up calls and arguments and augh the hurt/comfort…………. Can a harsh self-critic who won’t trust others’ assesments of him and a harsh tough love-r make it work…

Kabrin is so so sad…. From what we see you could say Rin is Kabru’s best friend and to me that’s the saddest thing because that feels more qualified by an absence of more/better friendships rather than how great they get along. But yeah there’s familiarity, there’s "i don’t want to leave her behind/be left behind"….. Just…..

Just the lifelong fear like an itch at the back of your mind you try to push down, that you feel like a monster that can’t fit in and belong and something is wrong with you, but can never truly let go Kabru’s layered so many images onto himself to adjust to everyone else that even he wouldn't even know who's good for him, thinks there's no one he could belong with well I bet…

Honestly a timeline where he’s miserable about it but pushes Rin into the arms of someone else because he would never want to hurt her and he doesn’t think he can provide for her right etc would go hard. Not letting it show, all smiles and "good for you! 😊 I’m glad", but Rin knows him enough that she notices he’s not being fully genuine, in the way his back is tense when he walks away…. She’s watched him walk away a lot after all, she’s followed behind his back a lot, after all. She knows him, like how he knows her and it’s insulting when he thinks that isn’t twoway in this relationship.

[sublux]

i'm so mad i don't have private insurance through an employer so i could get any kind of therapy or medication or anything. tags are a rambling rant

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)