#i literally got into fucking med school
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I got denied my fucking trp because of a mistake made by the fucking montana secretary of state and my fucking dad not doing the thing I've been asking him to do for weeks.
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
#never trust anyone to do anything#everyone is fucking stupid#i just spent ā¬14 calling my bank which my dad has been saying he was going to do#go damn it#i literally got into fucking med school#if i have to quit university because of this#i hate you#fuck you#vent#rant#im gonna get drunk and watch spiff's new GTFO video it's the only way i know how to make myself feel better
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i literally have the bestest friends ever. like of all time
#i donāt have a single right to feel lonely having such an amazing core unit of friends around me. i am surrounded w so much love#got this text while sitting on the ground w my textbooks sprawled around me alternating between 8227 different subjects#reaching a fucking CEILING#then i read this. and my heart is full and i got this#life is GOOD i am good i am happy and one day i will be a doctor helping people and i canāt wait#sheās in med school/was pre-med w me but thereās literally no competition bw us. no toxic pre-med culture#we push each other to grow and are proud of each otherās accomplishments and tell each other so much#insane how we met through my ex of all people. the main reason i dont regret meeting him#literally cannot wait to see her this weekend iāve missed her sm#iām so blessed. thatās all#p
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I miss you Lornaā¦ this is such a mess
This is an old message and I had several other similar messages, but I miss you guys and hope youāre all doing well!! Iām sorry to see nothing has improved.
I saw I was kindly mentioned by @awesomefringey and some other commenters the other day, so just wanted to log in and say hello and log back out for a few more months. š
Sending so so much love to all of you. Take care of yourselves and each other, please.
The video is still on YT.
#Anywayyyyy#The fandom added a whole lot more C to my C-PTSD#So a nice random message every few months instead of a freshly posted death wish is LOVELY.#Donāt fret. On meds and therapied but fresh tf out of money from it so @ L and Hā¦ lornasaurusrexx at g*ail is the PayPal if ur bored š#I hate to be like this but protect your hearts. Theyāll never be able to look out for you guys and they feed these trolls ammo for snacks#and it seems to have only gotten worse. Gotta keep them hets hetbaited for their money whilst actively encouraging them to bully yall? Why?#STILL!? At this point it feels like theyāve both chosen that path deliberately now and I find it quite gross. but Iām also very far removed#So donāt worry about my opinions. Keep trusting your own intuition!!! You all see it. I love you guys and your beautiful hearts and empathy#But I hope they can sleep at night knowing the absolute fucking genuine WRECKAGE they left across the Big Gay War generation/era of Larries#Donāt worry guys Iām just as dramatic as ever. None of this has anything to do with them coming out or anything. Just how we were treated.#But trust I fuckin mean that shit from the deepest darkest pit of my Demon Larrieā¢ļø heart. They encouraged this. š¤·š¼āāļø#Anyone who cares about my actual life updates: Iām a school nurse now and will be working at a bougie summer camp over break#Had a surgery I needed. Got new tattoos and piercings. In a happy and healthy relationship with the best dude for almost a year now.#OH and I went to New Zealand last year with Prettytruthsandlies!!!! We made a pact back in our Big Gay War/college days to go. And we DID!!#I got overstimulated and overfed and puked in Hobbiton. š¤£ (It was the best time of my LIFE GENUINELYš„°š„°š„°š„°š„¹š„¹š„¹)#Okay BYE LOVE YOU GUYS#There are better and more humane ways to maintain a closet ..like literally STFU entirely. Ignoring it and not exploiting a kid is FREE#šµšø
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I feel like the dynamic with ethan is just this (malpractice)
ref
#i dont know how else to explain but#they let a really mean giraffe and a stupid fucking fox into the hospital (they are both capable of kindness and insanely smart)#but yeah doc valentine gets bored and cures something uncureable#or gets into bar fight or a shooting or gets injected with a deadly virus or does malpractice (all things that happen actually)#and ramseys been working overtime for years on years right from med school and he literally does not do anything when he doesnt go to work#hes just chilling. but then because valentine is in his life he has to cure a virus she got injected with or work w dumb celebs or escape t#another country because he cant handle his emotions for her because he feels inapropariet but he started it so--#pixelberry#choices stories you play#open heart#ethan ramsey#vaguely my valentine oc ig
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#im seeing things again that keep me from getting sleep and i feel like the world is trying to tell me something and im very scared#i know its not real but its hard to shake a feeling. it sucks idk ive tried therapy and meds neither really worked for me#i havent told anyone how bad its gotten because im afraid wnd people are counting on me#everything is too much effort and i selfishly just want to rest and do nothing#delete later umm#no like actually everything is telling me im not supposed to be here#cant do shit right. i fucked my whole life up and im only 22#so stupid tothink i could do anything with art and when im given the opportunity i get too overwhelmed becsuse i have one billion mental#illnesses. my parents are disappointed in me for like five different reasons i could name off the top of my head alone#its just like last year when i thought it was all over bc ingot rejected from 200 jobs then i got one but im not happy there euther#what a waste#i soent 22 years trying ti do art but once you lesve school you realize youre not good enough and you fucking suck and you cant get any job#and also you cant get into anything you want to donfor fun eithet#it literally could not be any clearer. im not supposed to be here this was a mistake#made the wrong choices in the wrong body doing the wrong thing always
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SCREAM ok so swag .. found my besties on this tour theyre also w their parents & theyre 3 vietnamese siblings between 19-24 & im obsessed w them but iām also an alcoholic so i keep getting drunk & shouldnt even b around ppl bc im going to be seeing them everyday for the next like 2 weeks
#stream#this is so fucking funny ALSKALSKLASKALSKALKS#like at dinner i was like ok SO HERES THE TEA ON WEED & THE ECONOMY#ā first of yāall do u know what delta 8 isā āur too young to know what spice wasā none of them have smoked weed despite living in california#their entire lives#ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLA i felt mildly racist asking āare u a u.s. citizenā BUT LIEK ALSKALSKALKSLA THEIR PARENTS ARE IMMIGRANTS HOW WOULD I KNOW#like my girly Ngoc wasnāt a citizen but she had a PERFECT american accent like ššš SOMETIMES PPL JUST ARENT#idk but also it seems like theyāve money so itās funny whenever iām like ābc weāre poorā bc like they went/go to private universities &#shit & can pay out of pocket totally#fine like ALSKALSKLAKSLAKALA WISH I COULD RELATE GIRLY !!!! ALL I THINK ABT IS MONEY & YHAT IM BROKE#like my dream of being a dr was shattered years ago ALSKALKSLAKALAKSLAKSLA yāall got med school money ? BC I SURE DONT ALSKALSKALKSKASLAKSLA#ugh forever wish i couldāve gone but whatever it sfine iām going to stick w US POORS#BUT ALSO LITERALLY ITS SO FUCKIN FUNNY this guy omg he did a dual degree too & he just graduated like i did ECON THEN POLY SCI & he did the#EXACT OPPOSITE - POLI SCI THEN ECON#SCREMA so fucking funny bc like yes ā¦ stan ā¦ we get to GOSSIP omg heās a J.S. Mill stan but lowkey iām a smith stan but like iām also a#smith literalist i SHOULD SAY#i made that up by that i mean explicitly that i agree w his views of sales and choice rather than āshould beā but āwhat ISā#im FAR too drunk#omg i did something iād never do: finished someoneās drink after theyād drank from it#like me ? put lips on someoneās cup thag i havenāt had sex w ? girl ā¦#ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLA LIKE I NEEDED THE REST OF THE WINE INONLY HAD LIKE 3 GLASSES#that sounds so bad oh my god#ALAKLSKALKALKSLAKSLSKLKALAL#me avoiding as hard as possible to admitting to myself that i struggle w alcoholism#me realizing that iād just be an alcoholic if breathalyzers werenāt a thing or id not have to drive
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You know what I don't understand? People, who are also mentally ill themselves, who go into the mental health field to help people, and then are shitty to people with PDs.
#this is a callout post for my moms coworkers#the psychologist at the mental health outreach program my mom works at is sooooo shitty to people with cluster bs#when its like ma'am look in the mirror#youre just as fucked in the head as they are#also she still uses the term 'mentally r-worded' when its literally not been that in the dsm since before she graduated med school#also her teenage daughter and i are bpd besties and like rhiannon got it from somewhere lady#vent post
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I once was talking with my pharmacy manager about... democracy, about how while there's plenty of stupid people in the world we'd all probably prefer didn't vote, that it was very very hard to actually make a line that makes sure only wise people vote while keeping all the idiots out
And I basically said to him "think of all the doctors and pharmacists you know who are smart, well educated people, who you 100% don't think make good choices"
From the look and his face, I'd say that spoke to him (it's incredible how many smart idiots there are in the world, isn't it?)
Anyway, I make that point because it much more addresses the whole concept of... lets call it democracy of the fit
Like it sounds great till you actually take even one second to think about it. It's almost like trying to draw any line in the sand for who it's ok to disenfranchise is not only dumb and ineffective, but also super dangerous. Ah man, I'm sorry, you scored too low on this test which happens behind closed doors and is graded by my political ally... it's not like you disagreeing with me had anything to do with that
(I'd hope we don't even need to touch on why the idea that testosterone levels are a really stupid useless way to decide who gets to vote, cause if that's true then we don't even have to disenfranchise anyone, we can just give out steroids and have the best country in the world... or is it only naturally produced T that makes you a free thinker?)
oh hey just in case anyone who left twitter is wondering how things are going over there
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last night elon tweeted a 4chan screenshot (with bonus antisemitic text in the OP image) advocating for only āhigh status malesā in government and the implied repeal of womenās suffrage. Cool cool cool
#as if elon musk is a free thinker instead of someone that gets lead around by the nose nonstop#and seriously; you'll forgive me if I give hormone levels absolutely zero credit when it comes to intellectual inner workings#...mhh... I'm reminded of someone I know who was talking to me and saying he thought that low testosterone#was causing him to have trouble focusing on things#and it's like... my dude...#you have ADHD; just the other day you were talking to me about when you were younger and spent years talking to a therapist about this#and how they had you on medications to help you with your ADHD... and... you're not on any meds right now#perhaps you less need testosterone and more need... your ADHD meds#but to be clear; this is the guy I'll refer to sometimes on here as Dr Jekyll and Mr Dumbass#cause he's capable of being either real smart; or saying the stupidest edgy shit you've ever seen#...and... I honestly feel like there's a strong correlation between which of those he is and how much weed he's been smoking#but like... people get way to fixated on estrogen and testosterone... especially dudes getting fixated on... well... both of those actually#'the soy has too much estrogen; it'll make me a woman' that's... that's not how any of this fucking works#'if I just got on testosterone everything would be cured for me' often... you hear those ads and they talk about stuff like hair loss#I had a teacher in high school who was bald specifically cause he had too much testosterone#he was quite literally a big bearded bald mountain man; lived up in the mountains with no running water#would come into town on his motorcycle and shower at the YMCA and then taught at our school; everyone still to this day loves him#real great teacher in a lot of ways... and I think he'd be the first to say you're stupid of you think his testosterone is what makes him#people are their choices and their thoughts and their actions; not just a readout of hormones#just such an idiotic shit show of an idea on how the world works#'oh lets just have a council of high testosterone men... and autistic' my dude you're being fucking weird and fucking stupid#I'd love if only people with good ideas could vote; but there's literally no way to make that happen#and lets be blunt that no one would agree on what that looks like; and in the end that's called a dictatorship#where a select group of people who are so smart that they'll always vote for the leader has a sham democracy#so we're not doing that; and since we're not doing that I'm just telling you that there's no way to weed out stupid voters#and again; T levels is the stupidest of them all; cause if that's true just give everyone steroids#this is just so stupid; and it's being said by someone who can't even understand how stupid they are#(which... is most people who spout alpha bullshit; which anyone who knows anything knows alpha stuff in wolves was dropped)#(and the person who said this actually has no value was the person who put forward the idea)#(realized his model was messed up by the situation the captive wolves were in and it wasn't actually true in the larger world)
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#please just ignore my ranting but i literally want to fucking scream rn#like#my mom literally just told me if my brother got back with his ex she would essentially kick him out and no longer consider him family#like i get it she's a shitty fucking parasite who brings literally no good things to my brother's life#but for fucks sake#HE'S YOUR SON#YOU FUCKING BIRTHED HIM#will you throw out everything for one shitty fucking girl#i want to fucking die#i hate this fucking family#i wonder what it would take for me to do for her to kick me out as well#i cant even live by myself#i can't even leave#i have no money no job#I'd have to quit med school and find a low wage job and find a way to support myself#bc if she kicks out my brother i am not staying here#I refuse to#maybe I'd actually go and do it then#I'd have to throw my entire life away anyway#what's the difference#a life of fear and abuse and emotional manipulation or a life of having to quit on my dreams#I'd rather not live#who knows#i don't think i can ever look at my mom the same way#im scared of being here#how many messups will it take for me to be thrown out like garbage too
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If tech school did one thing, it made me scared of mice because those things are slippery little fuckers. Love rats though
#we had school mice and one time one slipped out of my hand and got loose in the room#and me and my friend spent our whole lunch catching it#we used to go and hold them after we finished eating lunch or during free time#I cried when one of the rats had to be euthanized#also rabbits are nasty and mean as fuck#we had EIGHT that we had to take care of and we literally used them in class one time#vet tech#vet med#mice#rats#rodents
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Are you guys normal or do you cry every time you try to think about your life 5 years in the future
#Iāve never had a 5 year plan and I will never have one#every plan I have ever made has backfired on me#but now that Iām out of college everyoneās like oh what are you doing? where are you moving? do you want a family? med school hmmm?#I donāt fucking know! I literally just got here what the fuck! why do I need everything figured out rn#I feel like I wasted my youth on foolish dreams that I knew I could never achieve and Iām settling and 10 year old me would be mad
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Dnndnd loveeeeee that im getting yelled at for failing that exam at 6am
#this is like law school again i just wanna drop out and fucking work already#it's not like im gonna be anything besides a minimum wage worker until the day i die anyway#i kinda fucked it up when i decided to pursue med school even though im dumb as fuck#and look where it got me! im still in school and will be for years and years#fhjdd i just want it all to end at this point#school i mean. not my life#anyway dnhdjd i genuinely cant have anything nice. maybe in my next life#it's just wo fucking annoying that everyone us successful around me and im literally failing at everything all the time#that's what i get for being a dumb fucking bitch i guess
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sorry for diary posting so much on main but this is the last one today prommy
#it's in the tags anyway so#SO#i didn't go get my masters. or rlly try for a phd because i felt like i was bad at school right#(because i failed two classes in freshman year and i'd never ever done that before)#(and i failed those because. my meds made it very difficult for me to retain any information/make memories or whatever)#and it was just so WEIRD and i felt so dumb because never in my life had i been bad at school before like that#so that kind of killed my general confidence in academia#so even tho i got into a decent program i just decided to go work instead#(and yes a big part of it is that my current job is awesome and i didn't know if i'd get this kind of opportunity again)#and i kind of just realized#the last year and a half have LITERALLY JUST BEEN SCHOOL#OR WHAT A MASTERS PROGRAM WOULD BE LIKE#sort of. like an engineering masters.#except technically i have come up with new stuff too it's just operational and not research#but i spent the last year and a half learning something completely new that i knew nothing about at all.#and i've been teaching classes while i was learning and taking exams#and my exams went WELL#the last oral exam i had my evaluator told me it was the best one he'd seen#i went to talk to one of my senior instructors recently about the last big class i taught to become certified#to fucking important ass terrifyingly smart people#and he told me i was a model for all new people and i did super well#and then he told me not to tell anyone he said that because he didn't want people to think he was a softie#(he's a gigantic softie. i can't believe people are scared of him)#when he gets mad he expresses it and honestly he's valid for it sometimes people are dumb bitches and need to hear it. but apparently some#oh that's a tangent. anyways. if i can do this i can probably go back to academia right...#and jesus fuck girl it doesn't have to be mit. it can be a normal school#i can Lower my Standards because they aren't about to lower theirs. haha but what if.... anyways im gonna stick with the same major as my#bachelors cause i did actually enjoy it. and aerospace is boring in comparison. and i wanna figure out how to keep people alive both in#space AND under the ocean. at pressures we were never meant to survive at! Now THAT' would be fun.
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woke up at 5pm stummy hurts head hurts i have to take 5 medications and do the goddamn dishes. life is hell. nevertheless i stay chill and relaxed. due to the medications.
#have panic attack meds that i never use (got prescribed them last year bc i was having a ROUGH time with family stuff)#like i got prescribed 30 of them six months ago and ive used maybe 5-10 of them. and i usually have to take multiple per attack#i have used... four this week so far. bc ive had a panic attack every morning. Odd!#they're not that bad like i literally just start breathing too hard and cant control my heart rate and the meds take care of it within 30min#they're just antihistamines so not addictive or dangerous or anything just help w the heart rate thing#but!! idk whats wrong with me! i mean i do im super behind academically and its terrifying. but normally im fine#its easy to forget that i like have a Disorder and that most ppl do not have daily panic attacks when they're nervous abt things#uh. idk. i need to find a local therapist and talk to my advisor and mayb a school counselor until i find a therapist?#but then the process of like booking an appointment and also admitting how much ive fucked up my grades is also#going to give me panic attacks. ah well. nevertheless i persevere. i walk in the valley of the shadow of death etc etc.#for now im going Home for the weekend and my only goal is to make a list of what i need to do to get back on track#and book appointments. Also change my name but thats NBD i already did all the work for that
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Eeeeeeeee!
#[redacted information] that I'm not allowed to talk about (yet?) b/c I signed a thing but !!!!#excited#doing things#joining things#(not a cult or mlm I promise lol)#orion rambles#orion talks about school#that's the only context y'all are getting (for now at least)#i just wanted to ahrirk into the void b/c I'm excited but don't have anyone to talk abt it with yet#at least until my āblackout period'' ends#oh! I'm also feeling better after my migraine#my new meds mostly prevent them from happening often but when they do they like knock me down for a day which sucks#b/c they're like the real bad one not just the lowgrade ones that give me vertigo that I used to have literally daily#so yeah. got some sleep drank a fuck ton of vold water and am better. i stayed inside all day yesterday to recover but it's all good now :]#(besides the (extra) neck pain but that's not necessarily new & should hopefully go away by tmrw)#* shriek into the void#i can't spell whoops#i spent all day after the interview nervous if [redacted] but I finally got a confirmation text!#ignore me i'm rambling#š
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The crew & using toys on their S/O in bed please with a cherry on top??
First time writing the whole crew kinda nervous š¤š¤ I'm not writing Swansea tho I will NOT be writing nsfw of a married man
Tw/cw; Afab!reader, winners love winning in Anyas hcs (use of the term pillow princess), jorkinit jumpscare
Not proofread
Curly
I'm actually not sure if he'd be into toys
I've literally only written for Curly so I'd say I'm a Curly expert, and I just don't think he'd be into toys
He'd use a vibrator on you every now and then, but he'd just use it to tease you and make you beg for him.
He'd probably use cock rings. I am a firm believer Curly would use cock rings. Not all the time, but if he's had a really stressful day at work, he's wanting an extra hard hitting orgasm.
Omg not a toy but APHRODISIACS!!! This man would go crazy for some aphrodisiacs, whether he's taking it or you are.
Now I wanna write a wedding night one shot with Curly and aphrodisiacs thanks a lot anon ššš I've got enough shit to write already
Anya
I don't care what any of you say this woman is a pillow princess
YOU'D be using toys on HER
She'd also be a cryer but that's not the point
She'd have a drawer dedicated to sex toys. She's trying to get into med school, she's CONSTANTLY stressed, how else is she supposed to release some of that stress? Don't judge her.
She wouldn't be into straps or dildos, she'd be into shit that vibrates. Vibrators obviously, rose toys, anything that stimulates the clit honestly
I lied she is into dildos this woman is a sucker for a RABBIT!!! Like I said, if it vibrates, she wants it.
Her favorite combo is the rose toy/vibrator + pussy licking. She cums so fast, then gets embarrassed, then begs for more. Praise her a bunch and she'll be able to go a few more rounds
BONUS CONTENT!!; she has a Christina and Princess Albertina, no further comments
Daisuke
Oh yeah, he's using toys.
He has a tongue piercing and sometimes he'll swap it out for a bar that vibrates but y'all aren't ready for that convo
He's gonna use the basic toys, nothing we haven't gone over yet. Vibrators, rose toys, cock rings, ect. He's just trying to figure out what he likes for right now, and he likes all of them
In missionary, he'd hold either a vibrator or rose up to your clit while he fucks you. Kind of uncomfortable as a position, but if it gets you off, it's worth it to him.
Not sure if this is considered a toy but he'd be interested in sounding. He's definitely had you try it on him once or twice, and he never lasts for more than a minute š poor boy
He's just trying new things out. He's new to having a committed relationship, so anything you'd be into, he'd be willing to try. He'd let you peg him if you wanted, but don't ask me to write that.
My pegging days are over
Jonathan
The kinkiest cunt that ever cursed this god forsaken ship
Toys are a must have for him. On you, not him. He only likes using them on you, because it gives him a sense of power over you.
He'd be one of those assholes that would put a bluetooth vibrator in your panties and wait till you're in public to turn it on the highest setting. Like an asshole
Jizzdaddy would have a lot of toys. He'd have one of those robotic dildo setups that like.. idk does the thrusting how the fuck do I explain this????
You guys get what I mean if you've ever been on a porn site you've seen one
Anyway, he'd have one of those setups and watch it fuck you. Ass up, head down, grasping at whatever you could since HIS sadistic ass turned it up to the highest speed.
Eventually hed get pissed off and fuck you himself, claiming that you love the toy more than you love him š the allegations are true but he doesn't have to know that
He'd also use plugs on you. In public, too. He doesn't care. If you humiliate yourself, that's your fault, not his.
vibrators are used during sex, nothing new. But it's the same situation as before. Claiming you love the toy more than him, so he stops using it.
Sometimes he'll just give in though and decide he doesn't care, and wants to tease you more than anything. Highest speed it can go, or the slowest. No in-between. He'll have you begging one way or another.
Chat I hate writing rough characters someone request ooc soft Joshua hcs so I can write him like I do Curly ššš
A/N; Anya makes me wanna kiss girls
#mouthwashing smut#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing x reader#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy x reader#daisuke mouthwashing#daisuke x reader#anya mouthwashing#anya x reader#why are there so many ship tags this is genuinely disturbing#curly x reader#captain curly x reader
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