#i have no money no job
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#please just ignore my ranting but i literally want to fucking scream rn#like#my mom literally just told me if my brother got back with his ex she would essentially kick him out and no longer consider him family#like i get it she's a shitty fucking parasite who brings literally no good things to my brother's life#but for fucks sake#HE'S YOUR SON#YOU FUCKING BIRTHED HIM#will you throw out everything for one shitty fucking girl#i want to fucking die#i hate this fucking family#i wonder what it would take for me to do for her to kick me out as well#i cant even live by myself#i can't even leave#i have no money no job#I'd have to quit med school and find a low wage job and find a way to support myself#bc if she kicks out my brother i am not staying here#I refuse to#maybe I'd actually go and do it then#I'd have to throw my entire life away anyway#what's the difference#a life of fear and abuse and emotional manipulation or a life of having to quit on my dreams#I'd rather not live#who knows#i don't think i can ever look at my mom the same way#im scared of being here#how many messups will it take for me to be thrown out like garbage too
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We all know the semi-canonical âall the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batmanâs cape, even as adultsâ thing.
We also know that Danny âis LITERALLY a ghostâ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.
All Iâm saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if youâd really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce âBrooding Instinctâ Wayne doesnât even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before thereâs a record scratch of âwait who tf is this?â kicks in.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom crossover#listen Iâm just SAYING#my initial thought is Fenton bc dark hair and how most of the robins have had dark hair#Danny isnât even necessarily running from danger. he just got into parkour and forgot how to stop his momentum#I mean you CAN have him running from something. give this an ACTUAL plot#but honestly I just think itâd be a fun little setup#Danny peaks out and. in panic. goes#hi weâre the council of the dead. weâve been trying to contact you and yours about your extended warranty#*extended life warranty or what have you#Danny hasnât even gotten death vibes from anyone yet so now he has to wing it#yeah hi⊠uh. Batman sir. if thatâs your preferred moniker?#right so weâre basically the ghost irs and you owe death taxes?#yeah you know the saying. death and taxes. guarantees of life. haha.#which in this case means you owe money bc you arenât dead yet. probably. idk I uh. JUST got the job .#anyways ohhhh hi yep youâre. red hood. yeah so. mm. yeah we definitely need to get you to the ghostly dmv#itâs the same as a regular dmv but people have actually been bored to death in there#(meanwhile Batman is like WAIT IS THIS SMALL CHILD DEAD?!)#(SURE WHATEVER IM RICH HOW DO I FIND A GHOST ACCOUNTANT AND MORE IMPORTANTLY DO YOU RESPECT GHOST ADOPTIONS?)
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.
Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.
That poster must be having quite the experience.
#politics#us politics#tim walz#for the record I am super fucking psyched for Walz#I think he did a great job#And I think Harris made the right call#harris 2024#Harris Walz 2024#jd vance#Vance is never beating the couchfucker allegations#The problem with your party making actual reality much less relevant in political discourse is that it can also bite *you* in the ass#Functionally it doesn't matter that JD Vance never bragged about fucking a couch#Because it got repeated so many times that now it's indelibly linked to him#If someone asked random people what they think when they see Vance I'd bet money one of the top 3 answers would be âhad sex with a couchâ#As it should be#Because it wouldn't have happened if his vibes weren't so atrocious that everyone immediately believed it
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Ifuckinghateamericanhealtcare
12/17/2024
TIME SENSITIVE
So I was just informed by my job that bc I wasn't sick with covid all the work I missed is going to count against my attendance unless I can get it cleared by a doctor lmao.
That means unless I can go to a doctor and basically get a permission slip they have grounds to fire me for violation of the attendance policy since I had no sick time
I called the clinic covered by my insurance and they said they didn't have any available appointments til MARCH 11TH, so now I'm forced to go out of network/out of pocket
There's a clinic who can see me on Friday but the OOP cost is *$265* just for them to sign forms!!! In total with the cost of travel I need $300 by Friday!!! I have no other options, I CANNOT LOSE THIS JOB AND DESTABILIZE MY FAMILY AND PUT THEM AT RISK THIS IS VITAL
PLS help with anything you can my appointment is at 1pm pst on Friday
CA: $lezsalt or $sleepyhen
Vm: wildwotko
Dm 4 PPL
#sorry we are poor#i fucking hate it here!!!!#i cant lose my job or any more money!!!#so i dont have a choice!!
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i'm in one of those phases where i really wish i believed in manifesting and spellcasting and things like that bc you know when you want something so bad you're literally praying for the universe to let it happen
#ramble#this is not me judging by the way i think it's cool as fuck i just don't do it personally#context: a lot of my 'dream jobs' are now just 'ways to make money that i might not absolutely hate'#but i have one (1) legit dream job and it's literally FINGERTIPS away from me right now#i feel like most people who know me can guess what it is and know how badly i want it#i'm not even letting myself daydream about it or talk about it too much because i'm so afraid of not getting it and being disappointed#and also i don't want to like. jinx it#i've tried so many times before but this is the closest i've ever been and i feel SICK i want to bite something
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Imagine Annabeth and Percy have a kid early, unplanned and it kinda fucks with their finances so Percy drops out of school to get a job so he can care for the kid and support Annabeth in school. At first he gets a job teaching kids sword fighting but then he hears about underwater welding which pays well because itâs dangerous but Percy is a child of the sea so itâs much less so for him. His boss is even willing to give him flexible hours which means Annabeth doesnât have to take their kid to class anymore and they can actually afford daycare (why does is it the price of a mortgage nowadays???). A huge financial burden is lifted and Percy doesnât mind the work so itâs good all the way around.
Fast forward to when Annabeth is done her masters in architecture and lands a job at a top firm. Theyâve got savings and have Annabethâs income to rely on. Percy heads back to school and finishes a degree in marine biology, going on to research some really niche topics like how underwater welding impacts the environment and shifting from there until heâs a well known expert in the field.
Just them finding their way. Supporting each other and landing on their feet no matter what
#i really like the idea of Percy having a non-linear path through school to a career#heâs 17#just because Annabeth knows what she wants to do doesnât mean he does#let him find his path#also if Percy and Annabeth had an accidental baby#(completely possible once theyâre at New Rome though I do believe theyâre careful and responsible about it)#and if they couldnât survive with the baby on scholarships + Fredrickâs money for Annabeth + what little Sally and Paul can spare#I think Percy would be the one to drop out for a full time job#and then go back to school once theyâre stable#also I just generally think Percy would be the primary parent so Annabeth could really pursue her career#and because Annabethâs job probably pays more and has more earning potential#percy and annabeth#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#percabeth#post HoO
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Maybe you could call it Reunited Stans AU?
Also, how do you think the gravity falls locals would see those two? I think Ford would end up getting out of the cabin much more because of Stan. Maybe you could draw them going to town for drinks? I don't know.
I like to think the town locals would either be horrified of them and talk about them as cryptids in their own right, or just be annoyed by their shenanigans
I just remembered theyâd be in their early 20s when coming to Gravity Falls haha
But yes theyâd definitely start out as âthose weird twins that live in the forestâ but once Stanley starts feeling like heâs actually safe from that old life Ford pulled him out of, he starts going into the town, which then leads to him dragging Ford along
Itâs probably a mix of both, where the town sees them as those odd guys and then also get annoyed by what they do, but also I think theyâd think of them as a new endearing staple of their town once the whole ânewcomer / strangerâ title fades from them. Itâd be sort of the same way Stan is in canon with the Mystery Shack, where even though people find him annoying, they also always come to the events.
Also Stanley đ your brother does not wanna be in that bar, let him go do nerd things
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#susan wentworth#gravity falls fanart#I like the au name well enough but I feel like thereâs still something better just out of reach of my mind#maybe itâll hit me later#gravity falls au#digital art#my art#procreate#doodle requests#not only was this my first time drawing her but I also had to age her down a few years since the timeline is shifted down HIUDHIOD#maybe Stan gets a job in the town even though he wouldnât need to since Ford gets that good good research grant money#I should take into account the different ways he looked in A Tale of Two Stans#since he technically wouldnât have looked the way he did when arriving to Fordâs cabin if Ford took him with him right after college#but I liked the ponytail so đđ#let that autistic boy read his book âŒïžâŒïž#figured it out#calling it#monster hunter pines au
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As a foreigner, the funniest thing about KÀÀrijÀ being so unproblematic is that his music doesn't sound unproblematic.
Looking up lyrics of YhtÀ vailla, I was bracing myself for 5 slurs and being told to go make him a sandwich. Meanwhile YhtÀ vailla:
#he literally sings either about having no money no job no bitches or about getting drunk with da homies#king shit#kÀÀrijÀ#kaarija#jere pöyhönen#i was prepared that looking up lyrics is gonna ruin him for me but it made him BETTER#relatable king
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Thinking a lot today about how in âThe Nigerian Jobâ Hardison made them all $32 MILLION from one job and they all go âyeah letâs stick with this unhinged alcoholicâ instead of retiring.
#I mean to be fair that unhinged alcoholic did make them that money#but they could have walked away#and then said unhinged alcoholic donated all 32 MILLION DOLLARS#hope those cancer kids got superpowers from that funding#leverage#the Nigerian job#Nate ford#sophie devereaux#Parker#alec hardison#Eliot Spencer
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hi
gentle reminder that me and my family are still in need of help and my comms are open, i have school so i may not be very fast but i try my best to be despite the situation i currently live in it would be great if you could help in any way, even just by sharing. thank you for everyone who helped me so far (and a special thanks to EmeliaK), i had wished by now this would be over but it's not. so i gotta keep fighting
thank you
#important#more info is on the link that i put on the text#as always if you need more info im free to share#its just that the country i live in just sucks so bad and you need to pay for everything#so every single money we spend just. goes and never returns#because no one is also offering my mom any job#she did so many interviews too and they never called back#i just want all this to end in a good way im lowkey so tired#im so sorry i have to remind you guys of this again im just.#i was gonna draw something but my mom keeps crying about this i eventually cant keep pretending im ok anymore
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#still yakuza lmao#I don't remember which day I started it but it was definitely no earlier than the 30th#I think I didn't start until I actually got holiday packages into the mail on the 3rd.#my partner started playing it like the day after it got released for switch#which I think was late october?#but he has like. a job. so he's just been playing an hour here a couple hours there yknow#we are both very much getting our money's worth though lol#I try to stop playing by midnight but I didn't manage that today -n-#I really wanted to find the last 2000 yen bill without looking it up but I was Struggling#(I did find it tho)#I've still got a decent amount of stuff left to do#even discounting the completion list stuff that doesn't interest me like the gambling#which I might at least try to do anyway#but we're both in chapter 9 of the main story now (although he's already a ways in)#(and I technically haven't done the last conversation of chapter 8 but I did all the actual Doin Stuff)#it sounds like there's probably 10 chapters from a thing I saw having to look up where majima was hiding the first time?#that's the only thing I've looked up so far though.#anyway I'm having fun#this is why I refused to start playing yakuza until I finished my holiday crafts.#oh wait I also looked up a clarifying explanation on one of the dragon moves you have to learn#I wanna do as much of it as I can without external guides#update from the next day I was incorrect about there being 10 chapters yay :)#more game for meeeee
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im still applying for jobs, ive applied for state assistance as well but theyre taking their time with approving it. i have bills coming up soon, at the very least i need enough to pay my electric bill bc theyre threatening to shut it off đŹ if anyone has anything they can spare itd be greatly appreciated. im transmasc and i have no family to rely on for this kind of thing. i also have commissions available, dm me for info
vnm: tobias_leviathan
pp: paypal.me/bewearr
thank you đđ
#idk what the secret to applying to jobs is but something is fucked up lately and i cant even get a stupid fast food job#ive applied to so many and got rejected by all of them or just straight up ignored#and thats WITH calling every few days to check up on it#i get either ignored or sent to a bot that just tells me to apply online or the manager has no clue whats going on#ive applied to at least 50 jobs this month and last month not a SINGLE one has given me the time of day#ive been to 4 interviews and got a few callbacks but theyre all dead ends#i dont know what to do anymore. ive been focusing hardcore on art so thats something but ive been working on my backlog and not making money#im just so frustrated and hopeless idk what to even do anymore. ive signed up for temp agencies even and they never have any jobs#its stupid that i HAVE a job but they refuse to give me hours. this is genuinely worse than being unemployed
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I know Iâm a real artist because every time I open commissions I get told to get a job
#for a lot of folks#a job is supposed to make you miserable#and take up all your time#itâs sad#also I have a job duh you think I pay my rent with Art money?#baby I wish
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