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girlmeetsliv3 · 5 years ago

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Lilies of the Valley IV

A/B/O!BTS x Reader

Flowers can have different meanings depending on the flower shape, color, and method in which they are presented. Lilies are my favorite for such a simple flower can have so many distinct meanings.

"...The day lily also serves as a symbol of coquetry. Because it blooms at sunrise and closes at sunset, it shows that it doesn’t intend to stay around long.”

Release Date: 05/29/20 @ 7 pm

previously ~ next

When YN opened her eyes, she immediately recoiled with disgust. "Fuck." She jumped out of bed and searched through her bag until she found her suppressants. YN had long gotten used to the symptoms of preheat to know when to begin the medication. It made her feel strange, especially when her heat came but it was the lesser of two evils. Now that she lived with four alphas, and three betas, she didn't want to take any risks. Even if they were more than twenty feet away in their luxurious mansion. In her groggy state, she chugged two pills down and placed the carton, although threw is a better word, on her bedside table near her phone. Then she headed to the bathroom, ready to begin her day. It was the delicious smell of food that dragged her out of the bathroom ten minutes later, with a towel wrapped around her now clean body.

"Morning." Hoseok stood in the middle of the room with a plate of golden waffles, topped with strawberries and syrup. YN was so preoccupied with the sight of the food, that she failed to realize the predicament she was in. Until the alpha's darkening gaze reminded her of the state of undress she was in. "Um", YN held up her finger quickly gathering some clothes and rushing back into the bathroom to dress. Idiot. Why didn’t I sense him? That was worrying, even in her preheat state she should be able to sense another alpha near. When she exited the bathroom again, the plate of food was set down in the countertop of the small kitchenette. The alpha in question was seated in the corner of her bed.

“Sorry to intrude, but I figured you were hungry. Plus, I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable given what happened last night.”

Right, last night had seemed to prove her worst fears true. Still, Jungkook’s behavior was bizarre. In all the time, YN had known him the alpha had never been so unstable. “What did happen last night?" Hoseok shrugged as if it was nothing out of the ordinary when their behavior had proved the opposite. "Jungkook gets a bit anxious around you. He still blames himself and hates that he screwed up to the point where you reject us." She already knew this, but that wasn't what had scared her last night. It was their reactions to it: how the men seemed so calm, yet quick to assert their dominance. How Namjoon's words had suddenly shifted the way Jungkook behaved.

Hoseok, seeing her discomfort, stood up and walked towards her cautiously. "YN," he placed his hand on her shoulder near where her mark was. The small action caused it to throb and she was sure he noticed. "I'm sure you're aware that alphas tend to butt heads. It's instinctual and Jungkook liked to test us often. We had told him not to bring it up, but we should've known better." YN remained silent. Not sure how to respond to Hoseok. Jungkook was a brat, that much was true, but he didn't seem like the instigator type. Maybe you don’t know him as well as you think you do.

"Sure, yeah. Whatever you say." Hoseok smiled, dropping his hand from her shoulder. "Eat your waffles before they get cold. Seokjin made them with lots of love." She couldn't help but grimace at the last part but Hoseok only chuckled. The man excused himself, waving goodbye and telling YN to call him if she needed anything. Reluctantly, she took a bite out of the waffles and it hurt her pride to admit they were good. So good in fact, that she had all but licked the plate clean in five minutes. After washing it, she headed straight for her bed. Disconnecting her charging phone from where it rested, YN failed to notice what was missing. Upon unlocking the screen, a plethora of messages greeted her.

The most worrying were the emails of all the aids that had been lost once they had been 'notified of her change in status.' It seems the world truly was out to get her. The money her parents gave her was barely enough for rent; how was she supposed to pay for insurance or anything else. I can’t do this anymore. A migraine was settling in, mixed with her preheat and ever-growing frustration at her situation - YN wanted to cry. Not that she would, but she really wanted to. Letting out a deep sigh, she turned towards her side. Casting a look outside the glass doors towards the house.

Out of all of them, Namjoon was the one she was closest to and even that was a relative term. She trusted him in a sense, he was the lead alpha and controlled all of them, but YN knew how flimsy Namjoon was to apply said power. Last night was one extreme but from what she could remember he tended to be lax with his mates. Entirely the opposite of most alphas, YN knew. Then again perhaps the incident had been a sobering moment for Namjoon. YN could only hope. She didn’t have his number, so it meant she would have no choice but to enter the house. Mustering all the strength she could, YN stood up and made her way towards the house.

Namjoon's room was on the top floor, room was a bit of an understatement, as with the size of the manor YN had an inkling that the rooms resembled apartments. Namjoon's however was a full-on penthouse with what might be the largest bed she'd ever seen. Don’t even think about it. The man in question was seated in a large chair in the left-hand corner of the room, staring into a computer screen whilst on the phone. Their eyes met and Namjoon flashed her a quick smile before beckoning her into the room, signaling one of the chairs in front of the desk. YN may not have been able to sense Hoseok before, but this room reeked of Namjoon's woody, coniferous scent. She had been in the room for less than a minute but was sure the alpha's scent had already clung to her body. I’m going to have to shower again.

Namjoon was speaking far too low for YN to be able to pick up on anything he said, but from his tone, she could tell it was important. She sat down in one of the leather chairs and looked around the room trying to distract herself. The room was minimalistic in nature, most of the furniture either being made of wood or having wooden accents. Back in school, Namjoon had always been a fan of nature. The two of them had met briefly when helping tend the valley, but it wasn't until she had shared a class with him that they really bonded. It was like he had known her all his life, they way clicked, YN had never experienced anything like it.

Even back then, she had known he was mated. Pack bonds were rare and a pack bond with seven men - specifically four alphas - was the talk of the school. From what YN had heard through rumors, Namjoon presented at fourteen which was the first sign of anomalies. Still, YN had always seen him as more of a beta. He was far too kind, even if his kindness had only really extended to her among all of their classmates. Maybe he knew back then. There were old wives tales that said strong alpha’s could detect sub-gender’s before people presented, but that was mainly based on stereotyping.

“You’re in preheat.” The statement caught her off guard. YN whipped her head to find Namjoon off the phone, resting his face on his hands. A teasing smile on his lips.

“How do you-”

“I can sense it. Are you? I have to know, wouldn’t want to be caught off guard.” There was something hidden in those words.

“Yes, but don’t worry. I have suppressants.” At her words, Namjoon’s brow raised slightly, but since the smile remained on his face YN ignored it.

Namjoon cleared his throat, straightening up. “I’m sorry about last night. We didn’t mean to scare you, things just got out of control. Jungkook can get a bit testy when he’s anxious and truthfully we should’ve known he would try something.” His words were the exact same as Hoseoks. Huh. YN forced a smile, “Don’t worry. Hoseok already explained things to me this morning. But, um, there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.” His eyes were peering deeply as if trying to read her mind, YN cast her eyes downward to the desk.

“I hate to keep being a bother and I know that you guys have already helped me a lot.”

“YN, I told you already what's ours is yours. Whatever you want just say it.”

“I’ve lost all my benefits since under the eyes of the law, I’m mated.”

Namjoon crossed his arms, “Uh-huh.” From two syllabus YN could already garner the change in attitude. He knew where she was going with this, but wouldn’t offer her an easy way out. “I need those things in order to survive. I can’t afford to live on my own, even though I’m thankful for you allowing me to live here...I can’t do it forever.” Namjoon chuckled humorlessly, it reminded her of what she had witnessed last night. He muttered something under his breath, causing YN to meet his gaze. It was cold. Dark. Ravenous.

“I know what you’re asking of me, but I won’t do it.” YN opened her mouth to protest, but he held his hand up displaying that he wasn’t finished. Silencing her the way one might a child.

“The only way I can relinquish my claim on you would be if another alpha stepped up. Not only that, but you’d have to complete a mating bond with them. So, all your benefits would remain lost.” It was embarrassing, the condescending way that he spoke. YN was already aware of all this, but she couldn’t just give up. Couldn’t resign herself to an unfair life, simply because of what perceived was ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’ “Not to mention pack bonds are extremely rare, so even if I wanted to or you wished to - we might not be allowed to break our bond.” YN scoffed, “I’m not your mate. There has never been any record of an omega displaying a pack bond.” She was tired of the excuses. “I didn’t ask to be your mate. Nor do I want to. I didn’t consent to be bitten.”

“You consented to sharing your first heat with a newly presented alpha. Both of you were reckless.”

YN stood up the chair screeching loudly against the hardwood floor. “I know it was reckless. I know it was stupid. But I wasn’t thinking in the moment, just like he wasn’t thinking. It was all instinct.”

Namjoon ran his hands through his hair, jaw now locked and YN could see how tense he was. The pheromones were radiating off him and it wasn’t helping her preheat, not at all. “If you weren’t attracted to him you wouldn’t have accepted. Hell the partial bond wouldn’t have even occurred if you weren’t mates because it's physiologically impossible.” YN was feeling a whirlwind of emotions and felt herself losing control of her body. Namjoon’s stench was too much, she was practically choking on it but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “Please Namjoon.” The alpha shook his head, walking out from behind the desk and towards her. YN cowered, until his arms wrapped around her.

“Calm down. It’s okay, Lily. Calm down.” He pet her hair affectionately and YN found that she was able to breathe again, little by little. “Shush, it’s okay. I’m sorry I yelled. I promise to never do that again.” Slowly all the anger seemed to fade, as Namjoon held her against him. YN wasn’t sure how long the two of them stayed like that, but knew it must’ve been a while since her muscles were beginning to tense. Gently she pushed herself away from Namjoon, ending their embrace.

“Please YN. I know it’s been hard these past few years, but it’s been the same for us.” All the darkness was gone from his eyes, only warm chocolate remained. Namjoon eyed her mark as he spoke, “You were so close to us, but because of a mistake you were out of our grasps. It broke us.” YN shook her head, she no longer wanted to dwell on the subject. “I’ll stay Namjoon. I’ll stay, let’s just drop it for now.” This seemed to satisfy the alpha as he nodded and smiled once more. Tentatively Namjoon leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to YN’s forehead. It sent her body into a frenzy and almost triggered her heat.

“You’ve had such a long week. You should have fun, go out, relax a little.”

“Do you mean go on a date?”

“Sure, if you want to. Whatever you want, we’ll treat you to it.”

“A date with all of you?” YN was hesitant, not to mention everyone seemed on edge as of late. Especially her.

“No, not all of us. Hoseok and Taehyung can take you. They’ll behave.” It was the way he spoke that implied a reason to misbehave. There was mischief in Namjoon’s eyes and YN wasn’t in the mood nor the right physical state to find out the reason for it.

“Alright.”

YN would have rather not gone on the date, truthfully. However, if she had to choose...why couldn’t it be Jimin and Yoongi? It wasn’t that they weren’t threatening, but they seemed the least threatening. Especially compared to who she was actually going to be accompanied by.

“Ready to go?” Taehyung asked, holding his hand out. YN let out a breath she didn’t she was holding in, as she reluctantly placed her hand in his. Taehyung grinned in response, while Hoseok simply rolled his eyes at the younger. They walked side by side, until they reached the side entrance and left through their. Paying more attention now than she was when she arrived, YN noticed the camera’s. “I didn’t know you guys had cameras.” It was a casual comment, but she felt Taehyung tense slightly. Hoseok on the other hand remained calm as he turned to look at her, “We have a lot of precious things to protect.”

“So YN. Where do you want to go? Shopping? To a restaurant?” Taehyung was beaming with excitement and though the contrast between his personalities and looks should’ve unnerved her. It had the opposite effect.

“Wherever you want.”

Hoseok leaned forward to whisper in the driver’s ear, then turned to them. “Let’s just go for a drive.”

It was a nice area where they lived, much nicer than her old neighborhood. Various mansions lined the streets, each standing out in their own unique way. They were nice to look at and YN thought that going for a walk around the area might be good sometimes. It was something she used to do when she was younger, before she presented. YN had to lean over the men sometimes to get a better look, she wasn’t aware of how close she was until Taehyung cleared his throat. When she turned to face him, they were mere inches separating them.

“Sorry,” YN mumbled and sat straight up in her seat. Her thoughts were beginning to grow hazy and she had less control over herself. This heat was going to be a strong one, but strong or not her pills should’ve been working. YN had tried to take more before the date, after her run in with Namjoon resulted in her needing to take a cold shower. The packet of pills, however, was nowhere to be found. She’d looked everywhere and was certain it had to be somewhere in her room.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Hoseok teased, out of all their scents, his was the nicest: warm, fresh, almost like a sunny day.

YN shook her head, “Just wondering, where we are going?”

“Wherever the road will take us.” Taehyung answered, not even bothering to look their way.

Not that it mattered, for it seemed YN and Hoseok were in a staring contest of sorts. Both of them drinking the other in with no intention of stopping. YN’s heart began to race and she cursed herself for not being able to resist the man. “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?” Hoseok whispered, as if telling her a valuable secret. YN raked her brain for an answer, for an answer the man could possibly want. When she came empty handed, he pushed again. “Even if its something dumb or reckless. Promise I won’t laugh.” For that one moment, YN forgot all about her fears. Out went her dislike and frigidness, in its place was comfort.

“I always wanted to get a tattoo when I was younger.”

Taehyung interlaced his hand in hers drawing YN’s attention. His smile was Cheshire- like as he spoke, “Let’s do it.”

“Maybe this wasn’t the smartest decision.”

“Don’t be a wimp.”

“It looks like it hurts.”

“It doesn’t. Stop trying to psych yourself out.”

“Taehyung enough,” Hoseok muttered as he looked over the forms once more. Confirming everything was right, he signed on the bottom and was quickly handed a copy. Now there was no backing out, though something did bother YN. “Won’t Namjoon be upset?” She hadn’t even realized what her asking that implied, but the men sure did pick up on it. Taehyung winked and Hoseok spoke with ease, “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

“So, what will it be?” The tattoo artist asked, finally back after giving you some time to look over his designs. “I'm not sure. Maybe something like this,” YN pointed to a fine line of two roses, “but with a different flower.” The artist nodded and then looked up at the alpha standing beside her, “Is that alright?”

“Whatever she wants.” Hoseok answered, not even looking up from his phone. Taehyung on the other hand was observing all the different tattoos and paintings hung on the wall. He seemed interested in them, so YN didn’t understand why he didn’t get one. The tattooist turned back to YN, ��Alright, what flower do you have in mind?”

“You should do lilies.” Taehyung commented, not even bothering to look up from the photographs. YN frowned, “Lilies? Why lilies?”

“I mean you do kinda smell like lilies.” YN’s eyes widened at the artist’s statement and it seemed to have upset Taehyung and Hoseok. The latter emitting a low warning growl from his throat. “Uh- I meant no disrespect. At all.” The man looked terrified and YN went to say that it was alright, but Taehyung intercut.

“Just do your job and don’t make comments about my mate.”

“Of course,” The artist scrambled to get his supplies ready and signaled YN to get in the chair. She shot a look at Taehyung and Hoseok, but both returned to whatever they were doing. Once situated on the chair the artist asked where she wanted the tattoo. Without a second of though, YN signaled to her right collarbone just below where the bite was. It would be nice to be able to look at herself in the mirror and not instantly be reminded of the incident. Of the situation she was in. Pretty flowers might be a nice distraction.

“Is that alright?” The tattooist asked once more, his voice trembling slightly. Now Taehyung and Hoseok’s attention was fully on her, more specifically her bite mark. The men exchanged a look YN couldn’t decipher, but figured it would be best not to further push them. Especially given how they reacted to the tattooer’s words.

“Whatever she wants.”

“Leave that on for two hours and then you can shower. Try not to rub that area too harshly. Oh, also apply non humectant moisturizers on it for around a month. It should be good by then.”

YN nodded to all the instructions and thanked him once the job was done. Taehyung seemed excited to get home, even Hoseok seemed to be in lighter spirits. Once they were back in the car, it dawned on YN just how exhausted she was. Her limbs were trembling and she kept zoning in and out throughout the drive. Stupid preheat. YN’s head rested on Taehyung’s shoulder while her feet rested on Hoseok’s lap. She didn’t exactly know how she’d gotten in this position, but she wasn’t complaining.

“We’re almost there.”

Taehyung brushed his fingers across her knuckles as if trying to lull her into actually falling asleep. What bit of her consciousness remained was struggling to keep her awake. When YN blinked, they had arrived home and Hoseok was helping her dismount the car. “Come on, sleepyhead.” Thankfully being on her feet, seemed to have given her the last bit of energy she needed to walk towards her room. YN bid goodbye to the men and closed the doors, going through her nightly routine half-asleep as she checked her messages.

Rosé: Hey, I have an appointment tomorrow to get a refill. Can you come with me?

YN: Sure.

Placing her phone on her nightstand, YN noticed her pills were there and decided to take two. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t be able to meet Rosé the next morning for YN’s heat struck that night.

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the-good-noodle-kf · 5 years ago

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Redacted (First) Impressions

My Saiou Winter Exchange Gift for @evil-muffins

Prompt: Pre-game fic, angsty w/ a side of fluff

Hope you like c:

Life has no meaning.

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“My name is ******* ***. My audition number is three-hundred fifty-one.”

“I’m… always looked down on and.. I probably deserve it. So, I thought, fuck my memories huh? It’s not like I care about anyone. Just… I don’t want to be weak anymore. I want to be rewritten as someone less weak. Maybe I could be someone to look up to, like a leader. But, it doesn’t matter what I am; I’m desperate, and isn’t that what you want from people? People so desperate that they’ll willingly offer their lives away to become part of a killing game?”

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Every day is a string of bland pointless blurs that bleed into the next like watercolor paint.

So, why not make life as interesting as possible?

Kokichi Oma stares blankly. He presses down on the lit power button of his computer monitor, effectively shutting it off. It’s done. That’s it. The chance that they’ll consider him is low, but maybe they - Team Danganronpa - will find value in him that no one else has. He barely got a submission number. It took hours of staying awake, eyes peeled, staring at the stinging blue light of the screen until he requested an audition as fast as he possibly could. Even still, he ended up with number three-hundred fifty-one. He wonders how someone could possibly get the first audition.

Applying for Danganronpa has become much more… commonplace, ever since they began using simulation technology. As strange as it may seem, not everyone is exactly willing to stake their lives on a show, but for some, their memories are a small price to pay for becoming a part of the show. Though it might also have something to do with the prize money, Oma doesn’t care much about that. He’s omniscient enough to know that he definitely doesn’t have a very high self-worth… or self-preservation for that matter, but it’s not like he can change that just from being aware of it.

II.

School is boring.

Each additional day of school he's feeling more tired and drained, regardless of how much he falls asleep in class. What is the point of working if he has nothing to work towards?

III.

Shuichi Saihara.

It’s the name of his new coworker… the one he’s supposed to be training. Oma’s worked at the place for not even a year, yet his boss says he’s qualified to teach the boy that was hired just a few days ago.

“Thank you for shopping! Have a great day!” He repeats his response, with his cyclic forced smile bridging his cheeks. It’s almost robotic, in how habitual and automatic it’s become after saying it to every single customer once they’ve paid. He looks to Saihara once the little bell on the door rings, signaling the exit of the customer, and he’s back to his normal expression. It’s not a frown, but it’s definitely not a smile either. “And that’s it. Did you want to try?” he offers, not really sure himself.

Saihara’s staring at him closely, like he doesn’t know what to make of him, but yet he still startles at the response. His brows furrow together but he does nod, so Oma moves aside and lets Saihara stand in front of the register instead. Saihara mumbles as he looks down at the keys, “I wonder why...”

Oma tilts his head at the unfinished sentence as he assesses Saihara. He’s taller than him, and he seems nervous. Oma can also see that he’s good looking, but he probably isn’t a very popular or outgoing person, judging by his mannerisms.

IV.

Working is… habitual for Oma. It’s not that he particularly hates it, and he does make money, but he only does it because he knows that he’d otherwise be doing legitimately nothing, and doing something at least makes him feel a little better about himself. Regardless of how much he dreads being a functional human being in general, he has to - he has to because he’s terrified of what will happen if he stops.

“Ah, Oma-kun,”

Oma looks over with curiosity at the other as he restocks shelves. It’s only the two of them right now. There haven’t been many customers because of the cold, dreary weather. It’s also a Monday, so people are too busy working or at afterschool activities to have any need to stop at the relatively small convenience store.

“Your cheek…” Saihara trails off, scratching his wrist, and Oma reflexively lifts his hand and brushes his fingers over the scrape, reminding him of it with a slight sting.

He lifts up the corners of his cheeks, walls raising, “hmmmm?”

“W-wait, I have-” Saihara cuts himself off as he runs off into the employee’s only door. It’s a little room with a few tiny lockers that Oma throws his school bag in on the days he comes straight from school. Saihara comes back with a bag of his own and huh- Oma didn’t expect Saihara to have so many Danganronpa pins, or any really; there’s a little Monokuma keychain hanging from one of the zippers too. He raises his eyebrows and even smiles a little bit at the thought of someone else liking what he likes, but it’s smothered by the fear of being known, of showing who he really is, and Saihara is oblivious to all this as he tugs a band-aid out of the front pocket and hands it to Oma.

It’s like his mind fizzles like a burnt-out lightbulb for a second when Saihara, instead of just handing him the band-aid like a normal person, envelops Oma’s hand with his own and deposits the band-aid with the other. Oma’s sure that’s not normally how people give other people band-aids, or anything, but the feeling of Saihara’s shockingly warm hand is gone as quick as it arrived when he releases him and smiles. Oma’s even more embarrassed because he actually briefly considered if Saihara was a warm or cold hands person, which isn’t normal, because who does that? Who thinks about their co-worker’s hand temperature - who he doesn’t really know, but seems really nice, if handing him a band-aid could be considered a point of reference.

Oma’s not even sure what tangent his mind is going off on this time, so he looks down in his hand at the band-aid and sees that - huh, it’s got Kyoko Kirigiri on it. He must’ve mumbled her name aloud because Saihara gasps and has an expression that almost reminds Oma of a dog wagging its tail. “You watch Danganronpa?” Saihara grabs his hands again, and Oma knows he can’t blame his blush on anything else but Saihara if questioned.

He squeaks out an “mhm,” and tries to look back at the band-aid that’s now fallen on the floor after Saihara grabbed his hands, and he ends up just looking at their hands. Why is he so focused on Saihara holding his hands?

Saihara lets go and runs to put his bag away again, at least, that’s what Oma assumes. It gives him a moment to pick the band-aid up off the floor and come to realize why, in fact, Saihara handed him the band-aid in the first place. ...Does he… expect me to put this band-aid on my face?

...But, it would be rude not to. So he opens the band-aid and sticks it on his face, approximating where he puts the cottony part over the place on his face that’s stinging the most when he brushes his finger over it. It wasn’t even bleeding, but Saihara practically beams when he comes back, and the rest of his shift goes by like a fog. He’s not really able to focus on anything after experiencing that - he was completely unprepared.

VI.

Oma isn’t sure why he keeps thinking about Saihara. He’s ashamed of himself. Why does he keep going back to the feeling of Saihara’s hands on his? It was completely… platonic? Except Oma doesn’t think that word works either, because there’s no way him and Saihara are friends, even if they’ve spent a total of fifteen hours together total since he met Saihara three days ago; he’s known him three days, and already, he has some dumb, crush, or something. He doesn’t know what to do with it, and having not had any physical contact that wasn’t bodily damaging with someone in as many years as he can remember, isn’t helping him. He groans aloud as he face-plants into the open textbook on his mattress. He wouldn’t call it a bed, since it has no sheets and sits on the floor instead of being sandwiched between a bed frame.

He peers over to the side of his resting place where his little trash can is and of course, there’s the band-aid that he peeled from his cheek immediately after getting back from work last night - not home, he’s never “home” when he’s here - and of course everything he looks at is reminding him of the boy.

He’s not supposed to do this - to want to be held; he’s not a damn child. He definitely can’t count the number of times he’s thought about Saihara hugging him on one hand. He’s not supposed to do this.

For one of many times, he wonders why he’s like this. Why is he like this?

VII.

Oma’s something of a… target, at school. He fits the parameters perfectly; he’s small, short, effeminate, generally weak, quiet. It’s nothing dramatic like being beaten up within the school, luckily. It’s the little things, like being tripped in the hallways by an upperclassmen’s ‘conveniently’ outstretched foot and then snickered at, having a book of his be hung high above his head, out of his reach, by another student until he repeated whatever idiotic thing they wanted him to say, the occasional mockery, his belongings getting stolen when he’s not looking, being chosen as the designated monkey in the middle as his belongings are tossed between two guys that think they’re the absolute pinnacle of comedy, and various other meaningless things he deals with.

School is something he can handle, though.

VIII.

“Oma-kun.” Saihara ducks his head as he pushes his phone into Oma’s hands. It’s open on the contacts screen, and Oma stares at it for a second, the unfilled contact info, before realizing it’s Saihara’s roundabout way of asking him for his number. He smiles a little and Saihara’s eyes widen, his expression becoming pretty serious as he takes in Oma’s grin.

Oma doesn’t realize he’s smiling until Saihara points it out, “You’re smiling.”

Even though he’s a little self-conscious now it’s been acknowledged, he still nods, and smiles even wider; he hands the phone back to Saihara, his number in place.

IX.

He wishes he could handle being home as well as he can handle school.

Saihara texts Oma a lot.

He’s constantly sending messages about anything and everything, especially Danganronpa. As Oma reads through he wonders if Saihara just texts him every time he thinks something. It doesn’t bother him though; every time he gets a new message he smiles in a way that he would deny if he were face to face with Saihara.

It’s a little weird, but hearing Saihara’s thoughts and theories and opinions is so interesting. Oma really hopes Saihara doesn’t get discouraged by his own lack of response. He doesn’t ignore him, but his replies are far and few between - things like little smile emotes and one-word responses. He doesn’t exactly know how to reply otherwise.

He can’t help but feel hesitant. Talking about his own opinions makes him feel self-centered and narcissistic, and he wants to be anything but that. What if Saihara thinks that he turns everything around to make it about himself? Saihara probably doesn’t want to hear what he has to say anyway… Oma’s come to accept the fact that people don’t want to hear what he has to say, so he stays quiet.

That doesn’t stop him from reading all of Saihara’s messages over again and grinning secretively under his blanket.

XI.

Saihara invites him over the next day. It’s Sunday, and neither of them is scheduled at work, so Oma accepts.

Getting ready is nerve-wracking for Oma, because he can’t remember the last time he had a friend to hang out with. It’s such a “normal people” thing to do - leisurely spend the day with friends. It’s a thing that feels so out of the ordinary to someone like Oma. He puts on a long sleeve shirt but then changes out of it after his nervousness makes his body temperature rise, and the sleeves feel a little too tight and warm. He puts it on again because of how bare his arms feel in a T-shirt and maneuvers around the floor and out the door before he can change his mind or before his aunt notices his presence.

The first impression Oma has of Saihara’s living space is that it’s quiet. It’s also pretty neat and ordinary, and Saihara makes no mention of any parents or relatives which leaves Oma feeling a little curious.

The day is surreal. He and Saihara talk and watch some of the earlier seasons of Danganronpa while eating some artificial tasting junk food, and it’s fun. It’s so fun. He’s shocked about how natural it feels, spending time with the other boy. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so content, ever had a true, genuine smile on his face for so long - ever had someone else have such a genuine smile on their face in return.

Saihara asks him things and he answers them, because if he’s asked, then he can talk about himself. Oma’s glad that Saihara wants to know about him just as much as he wants to learn about Saihara.

He wants it to last, and there’s a twisting feeling in his chest because he’s already convinced that it won’t.

When Oma gets back, it’s late enough that he has to sneak in through his window - the apartment is on the ground floor, and the screen already has holes torn into it that make it easy to reach in and remove before placing it back and latching it in. The brass latch reminds him of the color of Shuichi’s eyes as he locks it - Oma’s not sure when Saihara became Shuichi - and he’s so caught up in Shuichi, and talking to Shuichi, that he jumps when a door slams, shaking all thoughts of his day out of his mind.

XII.

Oma doesn’t know what to do. The day after visiting Saihara had been one of the worse ones recently, and Shuichi catches onto it through his messages somehow and asks him if he’s okay of all things.

And Oma replies, “why?”

Oma doesn’t know what to do when Shuichi Saihara sends him the five-word message, “because I care about you…”

No one cares about him. That’s just how things are. There’s no way Saihara actually cares about him. Why would he?

XIII.

If Shuichi cares about him, then why couldn’t his parents?

XIV.

He’s not exactly sure when he and Shuichi became friends, but he supposes it happened somewhere between Shuichi making it known that he was generally concerned for Oma’s well being, (that’s never happened to him before; have someone be concerned? About him? The ridiculous idea rolls around in Oma’s head like an optimistic interposition), Oma realizing that on his days off, he’d long for Shuichi’s presence, and their countless messages to each other that make the longing a little more bearable.

It’s new to Oma. He’s never… craved the company of another. It makes him feel pathetic, but also… kind of lonely.

It makes the moments when he’s around Shuichi all the better.

XV.

He becomes Kokichi to Shuichi. Being addressed by his given name, despite giving Shuichi his explicit permission, makes Kokichi feel giddy.

XVI.

School isn’t so bad… especially on the days that Shuichi takes the train over so they can walk home together.

Side by side.

Hand in hand.

XVII.

He wants to kiss Shuichi.

XVIII.

Kokichi’s room is a less depressing place when he has Shuichi to sneak in. The two of them waste time by watching movies on Kokichi’s computer or playing board games that Shuichi carried in.

XIX.

Shuichi speaks up from behind the register when the store is devoid of customers. “I noticed…” he starts, scratching at his wrist, and Kokichi looks up to make eye contact “at first, you always had this smile on, but it was just pretend…”

Kokichi doesn’t have time to react before Shuichi’s continuing his train of thought.

��But when I asked for your phone number, you had a different smile for the first time. It made me really happy to see that I made you smile for real…” Shuichi fumbles with his hands, but Kokichi doubts that Shuichi’s more embarrassed than he is after hearing something so… sentimental.

XX.

Shuichi’s favorite thing about Kokichi may be seeing him smile, but Kokichi’s favorite thing about Shuichi is feeling his warm arms enveloping him when they hug.

Kokichi’s feelings have escalated so much that he’s drowning in them, and he doesn’t ever want to come up for air.

XXI.

Oma’s long sleeves usually hide the finger-sized bruises on his arms, but he can’t hide the ones around his neck.

Shuichi goes on high alert as he shuts the door behind them. It is the first time he’s seeing where Kokichi lives - besides when he snuck into Kokichi’s window with snacks to watch a movie on his computer - but it isn’t the time to take notice of the dilapidated state of the furniture and wallpaper. All he can focus on is the alarming marks on Kokichi’s neck that look like someone shoved him up against a wall and didn’t let him breathe for who knows how long. “What happened?" Concerned, he reaches a hand out to gesture and Oma flinches.

Oma wants to tell him, “I forgot to lock the door, so my aunt got mad,” because, she didn’t want him to begin with, it’s not her fault she got stuck with him after his parents left. He wasn’t wanted. At least he had somewhere to sleep, his aunt would tell him, and Oma thought she was right.

But he can’t tell him that, because that would mean seeing the look in Shuichi’s eyes as he realizes Kokichi is a burden to him too.

“It’s nothing,” he deflects.

It’s silent as Saihara mumbles, but in a way that’s loud enough to hear, “I knew something was off when we first met. When you got so guarded about how you got that scrape on your cheek. I thought maybe someone was bullying you at school, but after we started walking together, I knew that wasn’t the case.”

Oma shrinks back, but Saihara keeps going.

“I didn’t push it at the time, because it was none of my business, but… was it… your guardian?”

He says “guardian” because Oma hasn’t spoken a word to him about his aunt. But the silence is Shuichi’s answer.

“Kokichi, you have to tell someone- you can’t just let them-” let them what? Give him what he deserves? He’s a problem child. A burden. A -

“I can’t.” Saihara doesn’t understand. Oma doesn’t even have it that bad. It could be so much worse, and he can stick it out for a few more years, can’t he?

A failure. “It won’t get better if you don’t report this!”

Oma avoids his eyes. “Shut up.”

A mistake. “I’m trying to help,” he says pleadingly, desperately.

“Maybe I don’t want your help! I’m not some problem that you have to solve Saihara!”

Saihara’s lips thin and when Oma expects him to retaliate he just - leaves. He turns around and runs off, shutting the door behind him.

It’s only after he’s gone and Oma is standing in the middle of the quiet, empty room that Oma is encompassed in the feeling of absolute dread.

XXII.

Saihara doesn’t show up for work the next day. Oma feels guilt gnawing at him during his shift, because it’s all his fault. He shouldn’t have pushed Saihara away. He texts him “sorry” and “can we talk?” through budding tears and hopes Saihara can forgive him.

XXIII.

He hasn’t texted him back anything in the past forty-eight hours, so Oma sighs and lets his feelings pour out in a long message when Saihara doesn’t answer his call. He tells him that he’s sorry, and that he doesn’t want Saihara to hate him.

XXIV.

The water cup he filled the night before has an almost stale taste to it in the morning, but Oma drinks it anyway because his throat is dry, and he can’t summon the energy to get up even though he’s been sleeping for the past thirteen hours. He’s still tired once he sets the cup down so he scrolls mindlessly through his past messages to and from Saihara before staring at Saihara’s last message to him, before their fight. He hasn’t said anything since.

He doesn’t go to school; he’s already sleeping again by the time it starts and he’s too preoccupied to care.

XXV.

With no reply, Oma gets worried really quickly. It’s unlike Saihara to completely… cut him off. He at least figured Saihara would reject his apology upfront instead of hiding away and giving him the silent treatment.

His chest makes that twisting feeling again and he feels unbearably nauseous when he goes to Saihara’s apartment and no one opens the door. There’s not even the telltale sound of footsteps towards the door to signal someone checking who’s there.

It’s like no one’s home.

He sits curled up in his blankets and practically spams Saihara with messages of “please answer me” and “tell me that you’re okay” but Saihara answers none of them. He’s sweating, and heaving, and he doesn’t care if Saihara hates him, he only wants him to say something. Oma needs a reply so he doesn’t keep panicking like he is now, thinking something happened to Saihara; he feels sick, and he can’t stop thinking about it.

XXVI.

Oma tries to rationalize. Saihara doesn’t have any family, and after Oma shut him out, maybe he simply… left. Just because he disappeared doesn’t mean something bad happened.

But, Oma thinks, what if something bad did happen. What if Saihara was abducted - or - or - killed? The thought of Saihara being dead makes Oma so uncomfortable; his throat feels like it’s closing up and it’s hard to swallow his own saliva. He’s growing more and more anxious each day he shows up to work and Saihara isn’t there beside him, despite being scheduled.

XXVII.

The metal of the buttons and zipper on his clothes feel especially cold against his skin as he gets ready for school. He probably looks terrible, but he can’t find it in himself to worry about that.

He has more important things to worry about.

Saihara is more important.

XXVIII.

Oma remembers sending in his Danganronpa application and thinks, this would be the perfect time to forget everything I’ve ever cared about, but then, what if Saihara comes back?

He wants Saihara to come back.

He wants to say sorry for shutting him out when he shouldn’t have.

He wants to have more long conversations about whatever comes to mind.

He wants to see Saihara smile at him again.

He wants to sit next to Saihara and watch movies for hours on end.

He wants to feel Saihara’s hands on his like that day when Saihara gave him that stupid Kirigiri band-aid.

He wants Saihara to forgive him.

XXIX.

His aunt makes him feel worthless.

XXX.

He should’ve kissed him when he had the chance.

XXXI.

Oma lies in his unmade bed, staring up at the ceiling, phone in hand.

It’s been over a week.

Why hasn’t Saihara replied to him? How can he fix this? Did Saihara forget about him like everyone else has?

His eye sockets are weighed down by a combination of depression and sleep deprivation.

His phone speaker blares through the silence - his alarm - his mind supplies through the ever-unchanging headache. He turns it off, already awake, and forces himself out of the temporary comfort of his blanket’s embrace, and gets dressed for work. Because he has to. Because he doesn’t know what else he’ll do if he doesn’t.

Because he hopes Saihara will show up.

(He doesn’t.)

On his walk home from work, he’s approached and pulled into a car, hearing the engine and looking out at the silent street as he falls into panicked unconsciousness. The initiation for the fifty-third killing game commences.

Ouma hesitates as he comes to the memories section of the contract. Even after everything, the participants won’t get their memories back... he won’t remember ever meeting Saihara; he won’t remember falling in love. He’ll know of nothing but whatever backstory Team Danganronpa cooks up for him.

But...

Saihara’s gone. As hard as it is to think about, Ouma doesn’t think Saihara will be waiting for him once the simulation ends. No one cares about him anyways, so he might as well make things interesting, right?

...right?

Ouma’s nose is tingly; his lower eyelids are about to spill over as he signs the contract, signing his past and present away.

Two doors down, Shuichi Saihara does the same.

Life has no meaning.

I also posted this on my Ao3 Account (More A/N there)

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cpspad · 6 years ago

Text

CHERYL PAI SPATIAL DESIGN 2019

Arataki Visitors centre:

Forest photos:

During the first week of studio, we visited the Arataki visitors centre. This allowed us take photos of our site and to understand the site better in order to build our models.

Abstract drawings:

During this studio, we drew out our ideas and thoughts of the Arataki Centre in abstract and made simple models from our drawings. Our group had an idea of creating this darkness to light aspect into our design We were inspired by a collabarative drawing on our thoughts on Te Po which we did an astronomical abstract drawing on back in week 2. We were indulged by the Maori stories about the astronomy and we noticed the curved drawings looked a bit like stars which the Maori used to find their direction around places. Furthermore, the trees that surrounded the Arataki visitor centre also inspired us especially the physical features of the native plant the koru which we also had implemented into our design.

Abstract model photos:

Contour models:

Final model:

PART II

KAIHANGA:

Kaihanga means creator which I chose to represented Rangi and Papa and the creation of the first person on Earth.

ABSTRACT:

Keywords: Cultural, Lighting, Historical, Earth and Sky, Experience

The Arataki visitors centre is known for its nature and cultural designs. Our society is becoming more and more distant with the nature and histories of our land. Lacking awareness on the Kauri die back and rejecting the landscapes. Touring through the spaces of Arataki may feel a bit gloomy for visitors, something that may be changed by the use of different lighting, capturing the natural scenery outside. My design in the Spatial Fabrication Studio paper is to bring out the ambience between darkness to lightness, linking it to the legend of Ranginui and Papatuanuku, how Earth god is connected to the Sky god, creating an atmospheric experience for the visitors to understand and appreciate the cultural and historical presences in the Maori culture.

Through my methods of modelling and drawing, I have designed an intervention which allows the visitors to experience and appreciate the significance of the history of the Maori legends and their beliefs. Linking the Earth mother to the sky father and creating a diorama, allowing visitors to gain a better understanding on the legends of Ranginui and Papatuanuku. These texts have led me to conceptual designs that helps me tie in the indigenous Maori history and culture of a specific space of the Arataki visitors centre.

RANGINUI AND PAPATUANUKU STORY:

The Māori creation story begins with a description of darkness and nothingness, out of which Ranginui, the sky father, and Papatūānuku, the earth mother, emerge. Initially, earth and sky are joined together, and their children are born between them. But the children conspire to separate their parents, and this allows light to flow into the world. The movement from darkness to the world of light is therefore achieved by the separation of the parents by the children.

CONCEPT:

Culture is an important aesthetic at the Arataki Visitors centre. The legend of Ranginui and Papatuanuku dictates the core of the Maori culture. I would like my intervention to suggaest appreciation and mindfulness and to remind us to appreciate the beauty and story behind these as it shows that they have lived well and have been looked after. These stories may be old, but they are still known for various of reasons. Looking back at the contour forest model our group made during the first prt of our project, I chose to redesign the second floor, creating a diorama that allows the visitors to understand the story of Ranginui and Papatuanuku. I hoped to create an experience which can allow my visitors to feel like they are in their story, creating and experience where we are able to see the diorama and imagine what it’s like to feel like you are part of the story.

PLANNING:

The concept of my first design was to create an ambience between the darkness and lightness aspects. Being indulged by the Maori stories about the astronomy and how stars were used as their way of finding their direction around places. This idea intrigued me as it brought me into my design more, furthermore, it enhanced my ideas and allowed me to design a pole that connects to a carving of a Maori patterned star, linking up to the second floor with rays like sun rays connected to the roof that lights up, showing the connection of the earth mother to the sky father, and how that then leads to a room full of dioramas lit up, creating and experience of going from a dark space to a lighter space filled with stories that allows the visitors to see and imagine themselves.

I opened up a window as you walk up from the first floor to the second floor allowing the visitors to experience the ambience of the darkness to lightness and also being able to see the beautiful landscapes outside the Arataki Centre.

PHOTOS OF DIORAMA PROCESS:

FLOOR PLAN:

ELEVATIONS:

SECTIONS:

PERSPECTIVE DRAWINGS:

FlNAL:

WALL MODELLING PROCESS:

For the wall layers, I created the wind layer and an air gap behind the framing which joins to the exterior wall. I measure and cut off small timber pieces to stick on to create a timber flooring look.

FINAL MODELS:

1:100:

1:10:

Creating artificial lighting in the top middle of the dioramas, allowing a gradience of the darkness to lightness ambience.

My design project is called Kaihanga which means Creator as For my intervention I designed a diorama that tells the story of Rangi and Papa, the earth mother and sky father and how our land was created. Coming from another culture and being raised on a land I wasn’t born in, ive always been interested in the different cultures, legends and beliefs the maoris still look back on now a days. So in my design, I was hoping to create an experience that allows the visitors to experience the cultural and historical atmosphere and to come out gaining a better understanding on the importance of appreciating what is left for us.

I chose to stick with wooden materials for my outer wall because as wood ages, u get to see the patterns of grains and sometimes it sparks a sense of mysteriousness to what it’s been through and I wanted to create that sort of experience. I created a movable wall in the wider space of the second floor, the first area you see as you walk up to the second floor so if there are other exhibitions, they can use the wall to either seperate the area or even stick stuff on the wall to create another seperate exhibition.

For my wall layers, I’ve shown the framing, wind layers and air gap in between my interior and exterior walls, In the first part of this project, our group decided to keep the first floor darker but create more lighting for the second floor. To do this in my design, I opened up the windows that go up from the first floor to the second floor as you walk up the stairs so visitors are able to see the landscape outside as they walk up and also experience that ambience between the darkness and lightness aspects which goes from a darker entrance from the first floor to the second floor where the window allows natural lighting and seeing the landscape outside followed by the diorama exhibitions which will have a single lighting shining from the middle top of each diorama as I like how it focuses on a specific object and fades darker on the sides. The small panels in front of each diorama are informations on what the dioramas are and finishing off with a seating area at the end for the visitors to rest.

I would like to use and stick to cardboard materials for the dioramas as it is fragile and I would like to show and link that to how our nature is also fragile, just like how as wood ages, grain patterns start to appear showing that its getting older and I would like the visitors to appreciate what we still have around us.

REFLECTION:

During the process of this project, there were many times where I struggled with coming up with an ideal intervention. I started off with a variety of ideas and designs but none that I seemed to be satisfied with. After having a few talks with the tutors, I decided to design a diorama which allows the visitors to appreciate the cultural aspects of the Maori culture.

By using cardboard and paper, I wished to show the delicacy and how fragile our nature is. I would like everyone who visits the Arataki visitors centre to experience the cultural and historical atmosphere in my intervention and to come out, gaining a better understanding on the importance of appreciating what is left for us. Methodally, I hope to design a fragile yet being able to narrate the powerfulness of these materials in the space.

After all these trials I decided to use clay and made a light using the piercing technique. I started off with wet clay so its easier to pinch the shapes and holes i wanted. Trying to get the overall shape of the light to be so straight was actually the most difficult for me as the soft clay wobbled around a lot, preventing me from creating the shape I wanted, so I waited for the clay to dry up a little first, so it wouldnt be as soft before continuing making my shape.

Overall, I really enjoyed this project eventhough I had a rough start to find out what I actually wanted to make and how I would apply those ideas and techniques into one design, but as i got into it I grew to really enjoy this part of the project, being able to play around with different materials, and making a meaningful diorama of my own. This course has taught me a lot.

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princebete-archived-moved · 8 years ago

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How do you cope with rejection in the rp community? Asking for a friend.

//rejection?

well i wish i could say “ i ignore it!” but really that’s not a reality for me. Not at first, anyway.

I’ve face all kinds of rejection, from straight up to not being responded to from memes, to starters, to messages etc.– to being downright ghosted. People have their reasons, and I don’t usually put much effort into hosting resentment toward those who I feel “ reject” me. Because that’s way too much energy to keep up with.

But at first. It’s awful.

I like feeling wanted.

And I know I get more out of online friends then real life. Because a.] i can hang with my friends and remain in my bedroom in pjs��with my cat and disney shit. b.] there is something about being able to tell people more stuff about urself online than in person

so i guess what im trying to say is. when im rejected. it’s more of a missed opportunity for a good friendship.

and that’s a bummer.

but honestly. there have been many friends that come and go, and it’s all a part of the process of applying yourself to the social networks. and i try to just compartmentalize everything.

IF I notice a pattern with people. one minute im ghosted the next they return, i try to stay away from them. because i know i personally am unable to handle that it’s like being second best. i consider this a type of a rejection. almost like a use and abuse.

stay away. save urself the time and emotion.

next is examine urself. look at your interactions with every so far as a whole. past to present.

do u ghost others? maybe a little pushy? [ ive been there!] oh! here is a scenario. you got an idea or an au, you are soooo excited or you have so many fresh ideas. you tend to piled it all on at first?? and the person just gets burned out or shys away. sometimes it’s good to recognize that despite it being good having ideas. sometimes people can get overwhelmed a great deal. and overly stimulated by everything. you gotta take it one step at a time, and not push too much on them at once. keep to one idea... write down the others... and slowly introduce those over time. or consider that maybe u should keep those ideas for other partners. some people can only do one or two threads per person at a time. not saying that that is ur frriend’s deal but--yanno?? it’s a learning process because etiquette online is so terribly skewed, especially on tumblr. one person may be more open than another. some people dont communicate ooc a whole lot, they just write. which is fine [ im not particularly drawn to this. because ooc is important to me. it keeps confusion at bay. and very enjoyable to get to know those who i write with]

are you approaching the right people to rp with?

i dont think this could ever be enough. because there are always people to write with. every corner of this website there is a person who wishes to expel and share their creative content.

so don’t give up. that’s my advice. there are so many out there. be patient. be open.

now when all that is said and done. and yeah you wanna rp now right?

well okay.

what muse do u play? there are some that are a lot more difficult to get ur foot in the door with then others.

When i came here. i immediately joined a group, and i joined one with a big niche [ aka disney] now im not saying a group is ur best bet, but it’s pretty nice when you are figuring out the norms of this abnormal discipline [ my family cant wrap their minds around rp, other than that ‘roleplay’ is regarded as a sexual activity not writing…. ]

i picked a canon muse i felt i could take to. [aladdin] and made a little name for myself.

so lets say your friend is writing an oc. ye? or a very unknown character from a book or film or anime etc. it’s going to be a bit more difficult to start out then lets say playing something more people are familiar with.

and a lot of people may disagree with me. but [ this was me wanting to feel wnated] i picked a muse i knew people would be more familiar with, and i made an ame for myself. made friends AND THEN introduced my unfamiliar muse when my friends were now open to the idea of writing with me, just a different muse. just to gain some traction— then over time, the writing [ lots of writing. write write write. writing will attract other rpers] attracted newcomers to the unfamiliar blog and eventually i stopped being rejected, and became welcomed.

and the biggest of all, is to familiarize others with your writing, and with a nice page that covers the backstory of said lesser known character.

but youll find that the other blog will become a fav.

also, your fandom is a big deal too. and the demand of the muse.

BATB fandom was dead.

there were like 10 belles. 4 beasts. me. forte. some cogsworths and lumis and 3 gastons… .

so because there were less of us, but a wide audience [ llots of people know batb] i found myself being gravitated to a lot because there were not many of prince adam…[ now they are COMING OUT OF THE WOOD WORK. LIKE GREAT. BUT SHIT. DEMAND WENT DOWN. tumblr rp economics] but because of this [ i admit. its bad] people were sortof forced to rp with me. or at least had to give me a chance… to which— they then realized my writing aint so horrible, nor is the mun. and now even as the fandom grows, they are loyally sticking by my side, being exclusive with me [ not rping with other beasts. this is THEIR choice. but it’s nice to feel this considered]

there are times were i make a muse, and it’s not a big interest to others. i really tried with Rin. She is the main character from the music video of Shelter by MAdeon and porter robinson… or prince cornelius from thumbelina…. or aradinus my male ariel…. ive got so many reject–ees.

but it’s ok. theyll revive one day when i feel it.

my newest is Prince Philip, so we’ll see if he gets ‘ rejected’…. just need to find the right people.

hold out for them. and keep trying.

#Anonymous

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lawlightfan42069 · 8 years ago

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iyo when you write non-straight characters should you specify their sexuality/gender? I mean I'm personally a very 'not into labels at all' person for my own sexuality but support ppl who do find comfort in labels. but when I write I also tend to go toward the 'he just loves who he loves !!!' that sounded stupid but idk how to explain it.. so... like I was wondering why you feel strongly about explicitly stating someone's queerness instead of it being implied (at least u come off as that sorta)

i do definitely feel like that so!! i happen to have a lot of feelings about this so get ready for a Long Ramble. this is a precaution before ive even started typing i just know im gonna write a lot

i think before we start saying anything, we’ve got to acknowledge the difference between people who say that they dont like labels, and writing characters who Don’t Like Labels™. pointing out the problems of the latter is not a condemnation of the former. if someone rly doesnt feel like labeling their sexuality or gender, thats totally alright. the difference between these two is the person is a nuanced, multifaceted human being who may have lots of personal reasons for feeling that way, while the second is a fictional character that is Created and informed by cultural views of the creator. a person is not “created” by one single author and characters arent like…real living agents that have their Own Free Will, they are what their creators make of them. anyway i just feel like this is a rly important distinction that gets lost often!! i’m also more willing to look favorably on someone who self describes that way writing characters based on their own experiences, bc this perspective is inherently different from a straight person writing these sorts of characters. but moving on.

whats also important to understand, beyond writing characters, is how being openly not straight is shunned. queer people are not allowed to Exist as openly queer and they have not been allowed historically. even these days among people who consider themselves progressive, you’ll often hear that “its alright if someone is gay but do they have to shove it in my face all the time.” this attitude isnt somehow formed in vacuum, but created in a society that treats been openly queer as a taboo. we aren’t allowed to be open about our sexualities the way straight people are. we can’t acknowledge that we’re queer lest someone tells us to Stop Shoving It In Their Face (not missing the irony as we’re surrounded by 400 billboards of hetero couples everywhere). i dont wan’t to delve into other aspects of discrimination and get too off track here, i just want to focus on how being Openly queer is treated as a taboo, particularly among people who still want to call themselves ‘accepting.’ the only way society allows queer people to exist is if they never remind anyone, Ever that they are not straight.

this is Integral to understanding why the i Don’t Like Labels characters are so frustrating. the unwillingness to Explicitly talk about queer people carries over quite handily to media. the same faux progressive people that demand queer people never talk about being queer bc its Too Much Information, will praise queer coded characters that hint at their sexuality but never confirm it. the reason these characters are written is not to genuinely explore why someone might feel uncomfortable with applying labels to themselves, but to appease people who will accept queerness as long as they never have to acknowledge it. this way, u can court queer people interested in representation And people who might like the story but will be uncomfortable with explicit queerness. its an attempt for writers to cash in on peoples desires for interesting queer characters without ever actually fully committing to representing them. you dont get to claim to support queer people if ur also out there providing comfort for peoples homophobia. you cant have a foot in both doors.

describing queer experiences without calling them queer means that youre okay with this story as long as u dont acknowledge it as something Explicitly not straight and like…why?? why is it suddenly not okay when u take that bundle of experiences and use the word that theyre defining?? theres Weight behind using words like bi, gay, lesbian and if u reject them are u Really okay with lgbtq people? or are you okay with them Despite the fact that theyre lgbtq and not because you take into account theyre lgbtq. acceptance is not tolerating people Despite something, its acknowledging it and validating it as an okay thing to be. especially when it is something that historically Not been validated as okay. dismantling structural systems of queerphobia does not go about by ignoring queerphobia…shit this doesnt just fade away by chance, it takes active work. and part of this active work is Acknowledging Peoples Queerness As Something that is okay Out In The Open. the You in this isnt directed at you anon, just people who have these sentiments.

throwing vague statements like ‘they just love who they love’ Also creates this level of ambiguity. you might say “well why do u need the certainty when ur describing what is at the very least, something obviously very not straight” and to that i say youd be fucking surprised at how goddamn hard straight people will try to erase the queerness out of a character. like i’m going to use a game called life is strange as a example. i’ll give some background: in the game, the main character max can romance both chloe and warren. note that max is not one of those blank state wholly customisable bioware-esque player characters, she has a personality outside of the choices u make. anyway, the conclusion that is Logically drawn from this is that she is most likely bisexual. or at the very least in some way, not straight. and Yet i have seen discussions that say “she doesnt have a set sexuality it just depends on the playthrough so shes not rly a Queer Character.” even more than that, ive seen people that saw “well even in the chloe one shes not necessarily gay or bi maybe shes just Making an Exception for chloe bc their relationship transcends sexuality” and like ??? Why??? why cant she just be bi?? even when given a queer romance, why do u try and interpret it in a way that sets her up as straight?? ive seen people say “its not a romance its just something that Transcends Words” as if this is… mutually exclusive from being a romance. like… Why doesnt this happen when hetero relationships are depicted?? ive literally never seen someone say “u know, maybe hes not attracted to women and just Making an Exception so hes not straight” why dont u see people try to erase the romance aspect out of hetero romances by claiming their relationship is “Beyond Words.” this treatment is 1000% only ever afforded to queer characters. this attempt to play off romance as not rly romantic is only done to queer characters, even if its done subconsciously. people will Refuse to accept a character is queer as fuck if you dodge around it, because heteronormativity is so ingrained in every interaction that even obviously queer characters get filtered through this lens. the problem with this isnt necessarily apparent until u look at it within historical context, where queer people are repeatedly not allowed to be openly queer. these arent isolated incidents, but manifestations of the idea that queer people shouldnt ever be open about their sexuality. youve got to tackle the discomfort that people have with words like gay/lesbian/bi/etc

i think this particular character trope wouldnt bother me so much if it wasnt like… the only narrative ever present. time and time again, i have to see characters proclaim that they dont like labels while never once even hearing people breathe the word bisexual. if it existed alongside characters who were explicitly queer it would be less frustrating But its literally one of the few ways (semi positive attempts at least) queer characters are ever portrayed. this is particularly true for bisexual characters lmao like… yes…theres people who dont like labels…but theres also millions of bi people that just wanna see a fucking bi character Talk about being bi and all we ever get is a vague “i dont like labels” (that is often never explored further than that and treated as a throwaway line anyway). is creating characters who say that a genuine attempt to characterize someones struggles with labels or is it just a way to avoid saying the word Bisexual.

same with queer romance in media. its only ever Okay if u just hint at it- see dumbledore being gay. see- the korrasami thing (though i dont fault the writers for this bc they pushed hard for what they got, its issues with the network). why are queer people relegated to drawn out stares that May imply something while straight characters are allowed to get into explicit relationships. when u create ambiguous characters that May be interpreted as straight (even if youve really gotta stretch) ur prefer to maintain the negative “neutral” of the heteronormative status quo and allow homophobes to live with their views unchallenged more than u care about addressing queerness in characters.

its not a coincidence that we dont do this to straight romance or straight characters. this is particularly important for queer kids!! its good to see queer characters out there being openly queer. while me and u can often pick up on queer themes and narratives, a 8 year old is not going to get that. especially when theyve been conditioned to see straight romance as the only feasible choice. they wont realize the character youre writing is gay or bi or whatever Because they havent been exposed to the connotations we associate w certain phrases. its so important for queer kids to see queer characters Owning that theyre queer. its especially importantly to normalize words like gay or bi or pan. being gay is often Extremely hypersexualized (which is why so many people will tell u they dont care what u do in the bedroom bc they can only picture queerness is a sexual context) so when u Dont treat these words as things only adults can say, u help get rid of the stigma surrounding them. u help remove the idea that being queer is inappropriate for kids to hear about and that the only possible aspect to being queer is sexual.

anyway this has been Quite the Ramble but the point is that yes, we need to write more characters who are absolutely explicit about their sexuality and move away from the expectation that queer people need to create euphemisms to comfort homophobes desires to never hear about queerness.

#LONG POST #VERY LONG POST #man...u rly got me going #theres a lot of reasons why labels are important in the first place but man this is truly long enough as this is #i hope i didnt get too rambly and my point still stands i try to stop myself from going off on tangents #anon #ask

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tearitar · 8 years ago

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hey tanya, ive been following you on twitter for a while now (my username there is @granteire!) and im always so interested in your tweets about your job! i was wondering if you could maybe tell me a bit more about what you do/what you studied at uni? im currently doing biomedical science and i'd really love to work in a hospital one day, and i'd love to know what your experience in that career type is! thank you, and all the best!!

Hey! Oh, man. Gosh. Thanks for the interest, my tweets are like, not a good picture of my job since I only tweet the funnier things (or the stressful stuff). It’s really a grabbag, depending on the seasons. But!!

Quick summary: I’m a medical-surgical nurse registered in California (important to note, most states are different), though I studied and got my Bachelors of Science in Nursing (BSN) in Arizona. Took my NCLEX in California as well.

Also: it took me 6 years. I’ve failed/retaken classes, I’ve gotten rejected from, like, 7 schools. But here I am! Intact! I graduated and got a job immediately. So. Anyway.

There’s a lot of pathways to becoming a nurse. Most people I’ve seen get their LVN/Associates degree first (two years of school), work for a bit, and then an additional year or two to get their BSN, which you can do mostly online. This way is good if you’re looking to get a job quick, or if your financial means don’t quite cover up to 4-5 years of straight schooling.

Uh, uh, my college experience was kinda convoluted. I hopped around three universities and one community college over the span of 5 years. I messed up a lot!!!! But I got through it, ahah. Nightmare. I can talk a lot about the nursing school application processes (if they haven’t changed too drastically from 5 years ago) and nursing school itself?? But I see that you’re in biomedical science so I’m not very familiar with that part, but I have friends who started there and focused their classes towards nursing! What hospital work are you looking into? There’s so much!

But, in case you are sort of eyeing nursing as a career pathway..

Good reasons to become a nurse:

Good money. At some Kaiser hospitals in California, a new grad nurse can make up to 70$/hr starting salary. I am not, in fact, a kaiser nurse. But more on that later.

JOB. AVAILABILITY. Job availability.

LOTS of different types of nursing. Love bedside care? Go to med-surg. Hate talking to patients? Go to surgery. Love teaching? Go into nursing education. Love sitting around counting? Operating room. You can go into so many areas with a BSN.

Straight pathway to the BSN. It’s basically a tradesman job? If that makes sense? All your classes are set up once you get into a nursing program and you got have to stress much about class availability.

Cons:

Constant education. I have to get re-certified every two years and pay a fee to renew my license. I’m always going to seminars about what’s the new hot thing in the medical field. It’s not… much of a con, really, but it does take away your free time.

Nursing School Is Hard. But that goes for, like, college in general. But Cs don’t get the degrees, friend. Most programs need you to keep your exams, assignments, clinicals above a B average.

Uhhhhh, fun factoid: I did not want to become a nurse. My mom’s a nurse so I kinda knew what was up. I wanted to be a pharmacist!! Straight out of high school!!! Got rejected!!! So on a whim-ish, I applied to pre-nursing, which is just a university course pathway to the Real Nursing Program. Pre-nursing usually takes two years to complete, and that’s if the classes are impacted… which.. They usually are. (It took three years for me!)

OKAY, AND, UH, READING ALL THIS I REALIZE I HAVE GOTTEN AWAY FROM YOUR QUESTION. WHICH IS. MY ACTUAL JOB.

So!!!!! I’m a medical-surgical nurse, which is what makes up the bulk of hospital nursing. It’s a REALLY great starting position as a nurse because it allows you to see all types of patients and teaches you how to manage your time. At the hospital I work at, I’m usually looking over 5 patients, which is the ideal MAX. During busy seasons like winter, sometimes the hospital gets a high census and I get six patients, which really, really, really sucks, and risks patient safety (and… quality of service… *eyeroll*). I work in 12 hour shifts at night, 7pm to 7am, ON PAPER. Usually I come in 30 minutes early to get my assignment and look up my patients’ medical condition, their labs, and medical history, and after my shift it’s usually 30 more minutes to give report to the oncoming day nurse. So, really, it’s 13 hours, but I don’t get paid for that extra hour.

Some stuff I do as a med-surg nurse:

Doctors oversee hundreds of patients. I get five for the night, and those five patients are my focus. I monitor their labs, their vital signs, heart rhythms, and basically their overall condition. I have a set of orders I follow in case something is not quite right. For example, if a patient has a high blood pressure, I’ve got orders to give them a specific medication. If a patient can’t breathe, I’ve got orders to slap some oxygen on them or give them a breathing treatment. I troubleshoot, basically, using what I know as a nurse and what the standing orders are from the doctor. When nothing works, THAT’S when I page for the doctor OR call for a rapid response team (medical emergency team).

Give medications, oral, IV, IM… I do it all…

Depending on the hospital: draw labs sometimes. I poke a lot of people with needles.

Blood transfusions.

Make sure they stay alive for my shift which, surprisingly, can be hard. But this is what I went to school for, and it’s what I’ve been trained to do. I hate emergencies, but I’m a dang professional and 75% of the time know what I’m doing. The other 25% of the time is Out Of My Scope and that’s what the doctor is there for. My coworkers, too.

*Patients do die. They do, no matter how hard you try or how much you monitor them. I see patients die maybe once every two months. Sometimes more. How people cope is up to them! I don’t want to say you “get used to it” but.. like... idk. /shrug. I find dealing with the families more stressful than any medical emergency I’ve been in so far.

I also: give out food, feed patients, clean patients, get yelled at by patients, get hit by patients, get hit ON by patients. You know. Customer service stuff. A lot of nights remind me of working in retail, except.. You’re with the white suburban mom wanting to speak to your manager for 12 hours. 12 miserable hours.

The overtime pay is great, by the way.

Anyway, being a medical-surgical nurse is not the area I want to stay in, but I’m under a two-year contract to work in the unit before I can apply to other positions (within the hospital). It has been a GREAT learning experience but med-surg involves a lot of talking and interacting with conscious patients, which is not my thing. I’d rather have them unconscious or knocked out, so for that I’m looking into a more critical care position like ICU or surgery where I don’t have to talk much, lmao.

But also my coworkers have been saying I would be a good ER nurse so I’m keeping that option open too.

AHHH ok. Sorry this got SUPER long, but I hope that kinda.. Generates an idea. Best of luck with your school stuff!!!

#irl job nonsense #philosophizefear

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ciathyzareposts · 4 years ago

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Game 121: Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist (1993): Introduction

by Alex

Hello there, dear The Adventure Gamer family. I am back after a long absence to review another game, and another Al Lowe game, but this time it’s not an entry in the Leisure Suit Larry series. No, I’m leaving my polyester pal behind and traveling to the old west to play Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist, Mr. Lowe and co.’s 1993 outing in the Sierra adventure game library. There was a CD-ROM version (more on this later), with voices and everything, released in 1994, but I’m playing the DOS version, mainly because I’m not a huge fan of CD-ROM games.

1993 is smack in the middle of the golden age of Sierra adventure games, which I contend lasted until 1996. You might disagree with me, and I’m sure will let me know in the comments below, but that’s what makes life interesting, right? And we all need a little adventure, uncertainty, and chaos in our lives right about now.

Well actually, no. I certainly don’t! Thankfully, I live out in the middle of nowhere, USA, where nothing happens and we like it like that, but life has certainly been adventurous, uncertain, and chaotic enough for me and my family, thank you very much! We’re all fine, and I hope you are too. But with civil society is crumbling all around me, there’s nothing better to do than fire up an old adventure game and blog about it. So here we go.

The last game I blogged about for The Adventure Gamer was Quest for Glory III: Wages of War back in 2018. In the interim, my wife and I had another child, started a business, and I’ve published two novels, with another novel and a non-fiction book set to publish before the year is up. Plus, I got to meet Joe Pranevich in person, which was really cool. But how many adventure games did I play during this time? With the exception of the first two Quest for Glory games with my son, zero. So I’ve been busy. If both my adventure gaming prowess and my writing are rusty, please bear with me as I play myself back into shape.

Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist—and I’m sorry, every time I hear the name Pharkas all I can think of is Scott Farkus, the bully who tormented Ralphie, his brother, and their friends in A Christmas Story.

This guy.

Anyway, Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist is Al Lowe’s homage to comedy westerns a la Mel Brooks’s popular 1974 comedy Blazing Saddles. Would you believe I have never seen Blazing Saddles? I know Gene Wilder’s in it, there’s a gigantic Indian named Mongo that punches his horse, that Cleavon Little’s character gets called the N-word a lot (which means this movie is probably not long for this world), and that the central bit of humor is a gigantic fart joke.

Al Lowe

So, yes, no wonder Al Lowe wanted to make his own version of it. That sort of humor is right up Lowe’s alley. I didn’t intend that to sound dirty, but since we’re talking about an Al Lowe game, all of our minds immediately went to the gutter (don’t lie).

But Lowe wasn’t alone! Oh no, Lowe designed Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist (I’m calling it FPFP from now on because the full title is a real mouthful (fingerful?) to keep on typing) with Josh Mandel. If the name sounds familiar, it’s because he worked on many Sierra games either as a producer, designer, writer, voice actor, artist, or some combination of those roles. Which games? How about Space Quest 6, The Dagger of Amon Ra, King’s Quest V and VI, and EcoQuest: The Search for Cetus. Mandel worked for other companies afterwards, such as Take-Two Interactive and Mattell, but he also lent his voice talents to the fan remakes of the first three King’s Quest games, reunited with Al Lowe on 2013’s Leisure Suit Larry: reloaded, and was a writer on Quest for Glory designer (and sometimes TAG commenter) Lori and Corey Cole’s Quest for Glory quasi-reboot Hero-U: Rogue to Redemption. He was also the model for the coroner in Police Quest III: The Kindred, but the less said about that game, the better.

Josh Mandel

I also think he might like fart jokes.

Before firing up the game, let’s take a look at the manual.

Titled The Modern Day Book of Health and Hygiene, 1881 edition, the manual is presented like an old-time medical—some might say “pseudo-medicine” almanac written by one Hyman J. Lipschitz, M.D., the President of Phrenologists for Health, Enervating Elixers, Longevity, and Mental Energy, aka (sigh) PHEELME.

This guidebook also has a pretty humorous disclaimer on page two:

Note to those people who might think a parody of a quack remedy guide that pretends to be from the 19th Century could really contain factual information but are too stupid to read disclaimers such as this anyway: The information contained herein is absolute and utter balderdash, provided by Sierra On-Line, Inc. for your Entertainment ONLY and to provide information and clues for FREDDY PHARKAS, FRONTIER PHARMACIST. Do not take the medications we prescribe. Do not apply the balms and liniments we describe. Do not attempt the procedures we outline. Do not believe that Manual Labor is still the President of Mexico. Nothing within this pamphlet is accurate and truthful, to the best of our ability. We are being entirely facetious. Do not, repeat DO NOT, use this documentation as a real medical guide! It’s a joke! Okay? Get it?

We get it, Al and Josh, we do. Also: the president of Mexico being named Manual Labor is a precursor to the horrible/awesome name puns that pervade this game.

Anyway, this isn’t so much an instruction booklet on how-to-play, but what I’m assuming is a very elaborate form of copy protection. You see, Part 1, the Pharmacopoeia, describes various chemicals that can be used as medicines, and in some cases, how to make them. They are sometimes funny, and clearly some entries are there just for laughs, but I’m getting serious King’s Quest III vibes from this whole thing.

Excerpt from the Pharmacopoeia

Part 2 features “home procedures” for things like acne, broken bones, and constipation (no coronavirus though). There’s also a (sigh) flatulence spectrometer, where the doctor is advised to catch fart gas in a paper bag or something and burn it in a spectroscope to figure out the exact chemical compound of what is causing the patient to have the vapors. Things like lentils, apples ‘n brown sugar-cinnamon, and meaty by-products, along with the cure. This is the level of humor we’re dealing with, people. It’s an Al Lowe game, what should I expect?

Actually, the manual is pretty funny, full of the dry, straight-faced humor we’ve come to expect from Mr. Lowe, and the kind of humor I actually get a kick out of. It reminds me of Mad Magazine, where the humor is stupid and low-brow, but an intelligent kind of stupid and low-brow. You know what I mean, right?

In any event, it’s time to start this game up.

Hello, old friend.

The familiar Sierra fanfare and accompanying logo always give me all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings, as does the sound and graphical style of the title screen, and I’m particularly excited to delve into Freddy Pharkas (wait, that didn’t come out right . . .) since I’ve never played this game. That’s right! Other than reading about this in Sierra’s InterACTION magazine (Sierra’s version of Nintendo Power) when I was a kid, I have no experience whatsoever with FPFP. I’m playing this blind, and have been looking forward to this for quite some time.

This issue right here—I wish I still had it, but scans of it are available at Al’s site

I decide to check out the game’s prologue, and am treated to a well-written and well-composed Western ballad detailing the life of one former famous gunslinger Freddy Pharkas and how he came to be a one-eared pharmacist in the frontier town of Coarsegold, California, a real town near Sierra’s actual location in Oakhurst, California. Coarsegold was apparently also the setting for Sierra’s 1981 On-Line Adventure #3: Cranston Manor, which TAG reviewer Joe Pranevich is yet to review.

The ballad is quite good and humorous while packing in a lot of backstory (kind of like this post). Al Lowe wrote the music—although future Quest for Glory IV composer Aubrey Hodges is the main composer for this game—and Lowe and Mandel both wrote the lyrics. I’ve reprinted the lyrics below so you understand the game’s premise, interspersed with screenshots from the intro (follow the bouncing ball!)

He was born in old St Louie, By the age of four Dad knew he was the Best little crackshot the West had ever seen. By the time he reached pubescence, He could outshoot all the adolescents West of Durango and north of Abilene.

Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas. Famous gunslingin’ deputy. Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas, Frontier hero-to-be.

Then one day young Freddy Pharkas Stared at eyes as black and dark as night, the Eyes of an outlaw, well-known throughout the West. Oh, the tough kid’s name was Kenny, And he outdrew Freddy Pharkas, when he Shot Freddy’s ear off to prove who was the best.

Now our hero, Freddy Pharkas, With wounded pride and earless carcass, Vowed to the heavens to give up gunnery. He’d be better off, he reckoned, With the lifelong dream that always beckoned: Pestles, not pistols, and pharmacology.

Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas, Highest score on his S.A.T., Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas. Five-year college degree.

After Fred matriculated, Got his Ph.D. and graduated, Moved out to Coarsegold and bought a pharmacy. He’s a real prescription writer, And they don’t know he’s an ex-gunfighter, Locked up his mem’ries, repressed them totally.

But his peaceful new survival Soon was shot to hell upon arrival Of Coarsegold’s schoolmarm, the sweet Penelope. She has captured Fred’s affection, But he’s scared he’ll get a huge …rejection, Can’t bear to tell her just what he used to be.

Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas. Frontier Pharmacist bourgeoisie, Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas. Peerless, earless, and free!

The CD-ROM version is apparently sung by Al Lowe himself, because as he describes on his website, everyone thought he had a “funny voice.” You can read all about it, and listen to the ballad, here.

Act I then begins, making me think this game is going to be chapter-based, and you are taken to Coarsegold’s main street as someone is boarding up a building, where a toothless old coot named Whittlin’ Willy starts to tell you all about ol’ Freddy.

Nope, not sitting on your lap. Not getting anywhere NEAR that lap, thanks.

I gain control of Freddy and check the interface. The standard Sierra point-and-click icons are there (Walk, Look, Action, Speak, Inventory), and I take a moment to click the Action icon on various things, which may-or-may-not have included Freddy’s man-region.

I mean, it’s an Al Lowe game. I kind of had to.

There are no surprises, which works for me as this interface generally works really well. In my inventory I only have the key to Freddy’s pharmacy. I’m looking forward to inventory gags, as Al Lowe’s Leisure Suit Larry V was full of humorous messages—each unique!—when you clicked any item on any other item in your inventory. I hope this attention to detail, and bad jokes, carries over to FPFP.

And of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that there is a (sigh) Golden Balls Saloon.

This humor style, of course, is par for the course and I don’t view it as a negative per se. I groan and cringe at these kinds of jokes, but I actually like them. They’re generally harmless and Al always seemed like a good guy who just like getting a few yuks out of gamers.

Here he is, describing the inspiration for FPFP:

“In 1992, I noticed that there wasn’t a single Western computer game, even though Western movies had been popular off and on for years. But I wanted to make a humorous Western. What sort of Western could be funny? While discussing this with Roberta Williams, I started to say ‘farmer’ but my mouth tried to say ‘rancher’ and out came a tangled mess that kind of sounded like, ‘farmer-cist.’ Hey! A pharmacist? Why not? Thus was born Freddy Pharkas, Frontier Pharmacist!

I think it may well be my funniest game, due in great part to the wit of Josh Mandel. Computer Gaming World called it ‘The Blazing Saddles of computer games’ (see box cover below) which I considered perfect praise since that movie was my inspiration.”

Funniest gmae, huh? I sure hope so! Leisure Suit Larry has its moments, but nothing is really laugh out loud funny. Maybe FPFP will be. We’ll see!

I have high hopes reading this bit of trivia from Josh Mandel:

“Mandel had explained in a commentary the reason why there were so many more jokes in the Floppy Disk version as compared to the CD-ROM version of the game, ‘I had co-designed, directed, produced, and written the floppy version; there were no plans at all, at the time, to produce a CD version. When sales of the floppy version justified a CD version, I was no longer available to produce and direct it, having by then started on SQ6. Al Lowe was then tapped to do the casting and recording of the CD version, but the game already had so much text in it that, when it came time to record the inventory text, Al just stopped—he was, he said, tired of sitting in the sound studio. As I had written the vast majority of the game’s text and dialogue, I pointed out to him that, in the process of cutting roughly 15% of the game’s text from the recording, he’d not only left out many jokes, but many clues and hints as well.’”

And like I said, I’m playing the DOS version, so not only will I not be missing out on “clues and hints,” I’ll be getting all the jokes as well. Oh boy!

Mind you, I have no clue what the plot is, but I’m eager to hop in and see what Coarsegold has to offer. If there are references I don’t get in my posts, please let me know. I’m a medium-sized Western fan. I love the idea and image and aesthetic of cowboys and the American west, I’ve seen several John Wayne and Clint Eastwood movies, and I have some Louis L’Amour paperbacks I need to get around to reading, but I’m no expert or connoisseur of the Western genre. Then again, I’m no expert or connoisseur of the adventure game genre and that doesn’t stop me from writing about, so maybe I have nothing to worry about.

Anyway, time to saddle up and play. See you next time, pardner! Yee haw, yippie-ki-yi-yay, and all that jazz.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/game-121-freddy-pharkas-frontier-pharmacist-1993-introduction/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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iannoyinglysweetstudent-blog · 6 years ago

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hi im 17 year old boy, just passed my theory test, i have around 1500 for a car, but the insurance is so high, best quotes ive been getting are around 4000 on corsa's and clio's , do u know where i could get cheaper insurance, or an alternative car that will have cheaper insurace, i dont like KA's or micras or cars like that, HELP PLEASE""

Will a car pool lane ticket cause my insurance rates to go up?

I was recently pulled over in California by the California Highway Patrol (CHP) for driving solo (by myself) in the car pool lane. I didn't break the yellow lines I was just pulled over for being in there by myself. The officer told me it wouldn't be a point on my record and is not a moving violation. All I want to know is... Will this ticket cause my insurance rates to go up?

Car Insurance Question?

Hi I was involved in a road traffic accident, I have valid insurance & my vehicle is being repaired. My insurance is registered at my current home address but I have just realised that my driving licence still shows my previous address. I am being provided with a courtesy car & have to provide my licence number, will this make my claim invalid???""

How do you get health insurance?

I'm try'na get emancipated from my parents, and they said I medical/health insurance. No ******** answers.""

Part-time job enough to pay car insurance?

Would a part-time job at a mall store or movie theatre pay enough to cover an 18-year-olds car insurance? How old are you and how much does your car insurance cost monthly?

Are you supposed to have car insurance at 15?

i just thought of this just now and i remember having to pay for auto insurance at 15 just for a school permit for school and back and i hear some people dont have insurance was i right to pay for it or was i tricked because he says you have to be 16 and said he'll accidentally put that i am and say it was a mistake to the company, i think this is a trick but idk and again others dont pay for insurance but were they just too cheap to do it and risk the consinquence? or did i get tricked back then by my insurer""

Can my father get iterm insurance ?.?

My father's DOB is 2 May 1947. he is retired from Gov job. i want to have a insurance in name of him bcoz i have two sister dependent on him . so can i get or can he get iterm plan for 20 laks for 20 years.

Will my insurance go up for this charge?

Ok so last night me and my buddies were in mcdonalds parking lot, they were drinking beer and i wasn't. i had consumed 1 beer about 1 and a half hours before a started driving. One of my buddies threw a beer bottle out the window and some old lady called the cops. the cops then came when we were sitting in the parking lot eating or burgers and asked me if i have had anything to drink tonight and i said i had 1 beer about 2 hours ago and he said that he's not going to put me under a breathlyzer because he knows i will fail. I had one beer ffs! i am 16 btw. So the two charges i got were underage drinking and having unclosed alcohol in my vehicle for a total cost of $340. So now i have 2 questions do you think the cop was far? and will my insurance go up with those charges""

Are you supposed to have car insurance at 15?

How much insurance for a Ninja 250r?

I'm 16 and i'm thinking of getting a Ninja 250r for commuting purposes and just riding around to school and what not. I have a friend that is going to upgrade to a new bike soon so he will give me his bike but I was wondering how much the insurance is for the Ninja 250, I have Geico and was going to do all the free quotes thing but I was way to lazy finding out the ID number and stuff so I was wondering for anyone out there with a 250r, how much are you paying every year? Thanks! :D""

""How many low information posters truly believe Obamacare's $5,0000 deductibles constitute affordable insurance?""

How can you say you have insurance when you have to pay $5,000 before it kicks in every year? A study by HealthPocket Inc. in December found that the average individual deductible for Obamacares bronze plan was $5,081 a year42 percent higher than the average deductible of $3,589 for an individually purchased plan. The deductibles on the low-cost plans are the real scandal here. The administration will surely trot out a long line of cancer patients and people with other terrible medical problems who got treatment in 2014 with coverage they werent able to buy in 2013, but there are going to be far more working poor and middle class people who still have to scrape together a decent premium after the subsidies, pay it faithfully, then get sick and go to the doctor, only to find out their policy doesnt cover anything until theyve paid a $5,000 deductible. I predict a LOT of dissatisfied lower income premium payers.""

Will a wrecked car make my insurance go up?

i am looking at buying a car. carfax shows it was in an accident and only reported minor damage. will MY insurance go up if i'm driving a car that has been in an accident before?

What is the cheapest car insurance company for dr10 convicts ?

I have a dr10

""Cheap, effective health insurance?""

I'm a 25 year old, healthy, unmarried female looking for a low co pay health insurance that covers major medical and dental. I need to be able to see my primary physician for annual checkups and hopefully get Invisalign covered under dental as well. I have no pre existing conditions and would prefer a lower deductible... Somewhere up to $5000 in the event a major medical issue arose.""

How much is the average vet visit? and Is it worth it to get pet insurance?

I have inherited a Saint Bernard Puppy (7 months old). We got him 2 days ago and have a vet visit on friday just to get him caught up on shots and the regular wellness exam. I have no idea what to expect as far the cost of the visit will be i'm planning for the $200 range? Am I way off is it going to be more? Also does anyone have pet insurance and if so is it worth looking into? Which one would you recommend? I know alot of questions in one but I just need a little guidance. Thanks for your help.

DMV paying ticket/showing proof of insurance?

I'm In California I received a traffic ticket and did not have my proof of insurance with me. I received my courtesy notice and my amount owed Would be 1000 without my insurance proof. It will obviously be reduced significantly if I show my proof of insurance. I know that you can pay traffic tickets at the DMV. And I want to pay the ticket In payments. So here comes my question- can I go to the DMV and show THEM (the Court Clerk stationed there) my correction (proof of insurance) instead of having to go all the way to the court house? And can I ask for a payment plan there as well? Or can I ONLY show my Correction(Proof of Insurance) and ask for a payment plan at the court house? My first ticket :| And the court house is pretty far from where I live. DMV is right around the corner. That's why I ask :P Thanks

""Thinking about buying individual health insurance in georgia, 22 years old?""

in the beginning of feb my dad passed away so i they dropped coverage on 2/28. i get health insurance through my employer but it isn't good. can i still apply online for individual health insurance even though i can get insurance through my employer? i plan on quitting in two months so i figure it would save me the hassle if i get individual health care now. i have asthma and need medicine regularly/monthly. i'm planning on going on vacation in the summer and then when i get back, i plan to get a job with health benefits, so i would only need insurance until then. would that be considered short term (now-august/september)? does the price differ from short term and long term health insurance? i was looking up some plans online and i was thinking of applying for this one. http://www.ehealthinsurance.com/ehi/ifp/plan-details?planKey=3002:200067&productLine=IFP&noSelectedPlan=true&ifpUIState.planDetailsBackUrl=/ifp/all-plans so what this means is that i pay 115 dollars a month and since there is no separate prescription deductible, i can buy my prescriptions which is tier 2/3 for the copay only. also there is a 2500 maximum out of pocket for my part. right? and is this a good plan for me? im 22 and dont smoke/drink and live in georgia, my only health concern is that i have asthma. can they reject my application because i have asthma and that's a pre-existing condition? and when i get a job with health benefits i can just cancel this or is there a contract that states i have to be with them for a certain amount of time? thank you very much for your time!""

Can't find affordable Health Insurance for my wie?

I have been talking to Medicare Medicaid Market Place and can't find health insurance that I can afford for my Wife. She is 65 and a US citizen. I can find Health Insurance for her if I pay over $700 month and who can afford than, help pls""

Does AARP offer affordable health insurance? What is the best medical care option for low income Americans?

I am helping someone trying to find health benefits. She saw an add for AARP on TV and asked me to check into it. From what I can see AARP is a magazine subscriiption that offers a few discounts and offers a plan to suppliment existing insurance. It does not appear to be a place you can go for affordable primary health insurance. She is 55 years old, in relatively good health, except for taking high blood pressure medicine, a legal U.S. resident and currently unemployed. He last job was a Nanny job and that is probably what she will find next, but those kind of jobs are usually with a private family and they offer nothing in way of benefits. I have tried to GOOGLE low income health insurance and the best I have found is a short term policy, with a 7500 hospital deductable that costs 256.00 a month, still out of her reach. Are there any alternatives for low income Americans? Is AARP a possible solution to get her access to affordable medical care? All input is appreciated. She is just wants to be able to get affordable medical care and I really do not have an answer for her""

""How do I get a low insurance rate (18, first time driving)...?""

I'm getting online quotes with basic basic insurance... I think the lowest quote I got was $366/mo, which is bs, the car is only worth $900? Should I call and tell them that? There's no way I'm paying that much in insurance for a car that's worth that little. Can I be put on the people's insurance in whom which I live? They're not relatives. And then just pay them the amount they're insurance increases to?""

Why are car insurance quotes on comparison sites so high?

I'm almost 17 and I'm hoping to learn to drive and buy a car, I was looking on some comparison sites to see what the insurance might be on some possible cars (ford KA, fiat sciento, nothing too fancy) but the quotes were ridiculously high? I know being 17 will mean expensive insurance but this was really expensive, they said the cheapest was around 6000 for third party. This is really high because I know loads of people who drive at 17 and their insurance ranges from 1800-3000. So, why is it so high and will it actually be this price when I come to pay the insurance?""

Elizabeth New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 7201

""Excluding insurance prices, which car would be the cheapest to run: impreza wrx (2006-2088), Civic Type R EP3?""

I'm about to purchase a little sports car to treat myself. I was wondering if you could tell me which of these 2 cars would be the cheapest to run (fuel costs, tyres, parts etc) If anyone has an any other car suggestions with a similar amount of power and specs please feel free to suggest. Cheers""

Trying to repeal the Healthcare law which is good for the American people the only thing republicans hope?

Trying to repeal the Healthcare law which is good for the American people the only thing republicans hope will put them back into the White House?

Why do woman drivers get cheaper car insurance?

Total loss and State farm auto insurance?

I had a collision a few weeks before and it is classified as collision damage. I received an estimate at a body shop who initially provided an estimate of $xxxxx/- and said that the insurance company has agreed to pay them and a delivery date was given. Now, things have changed in the middle and the body shop manager tells me a new stories of additional things that went wrong due to collision (all of a sudden) and that the insurance agent after inspection wants to call it a total loss based on this new estimate. My insurance company- State farm wants it to call a total loss which I doubt given the extent of repair it might take for the minor damage in the front fender alone. Now, here are my questions. I now have suspicion on the integrity of the body shop as well the trick palyed in declaring total loss. 1. Can I have a second opinion at a different body shop? Does State farm allow that? 2. If the repair cost is more than the ACV, and if I still wish to keep the car, can I negotiate for the max amount less deductible that State farm is willing to pay the body shop (xx% of the max amount that state farm is willing to pay before declaring total loss) and I take care of the remaining cost? Your input is appreciated. Thanks, NS""

Do insurance rates diffeer between a new and used car?

i am looking at a 2001 corvette selling by owner for 18,000, and i was wondering if the rates would be higher or lower if I was to buy a new vette from the dealer. i am 15, ill be 16 in a month, fyi.""

Who much money does it cost to start an insurance company?

I want to start an insurance company in Florida and was wondering how much it would cost to start one. Do not hesitate, give me your best estimate. Also, do insurance companies keep funds gathered through insurance policies in a fund or do they invest it? Comments? Thanks!""

California 50cc scooter laws?

a 50cc scooter the kind that you sit on and seats 2 goes about 40 mph does it need to be registered in ca and have insurance on it? do i need a motorcycle class license to drive it? or anything else i should know about driving it in california? riverside county.

Where do I find Cheap Car Insurance When I have Epilepsy?

I'm 19, and I haven't had a fit since I was 16 (I believe I've done the teenage growing out of it ), The DVLA are fine and are issuing me a provisional, but finding insurance is a pain in the ***. Is there anywhere that does cheap insurance that doesn't care if I have Epilepsy? OR just does it cheap anyway?""

Leaving for several month. what about car insurance?

I'm leaving USA for about 4 months. What should I do with my car insurance? I don't really wanna pay for insurance because I won't be in the USA. What should I do? need a good advice

Car lease insurance question?

I am leasing a car from Honda and wanted to know if there is insurance you can take out to cover any damage to the car that will repair scratches and minor dents, things that I will be hit for when I return the car when the lease ends? I was wondering what that kind of insurance is? Thanks""

""How much would insurance cost me for a $200,000 porsche as a teen?????? PLZZ HELP GUYS PLZ!!!!!!?""

Im planning to buy a $200,000 porsche drive away. Im going to get superior insurance (the best insurance) that covers my car fully. HOWEVER the problem is im a teen 19 year old and insurance rates appparently fly above the sky. HOW much will it cost insurance a year????????????????????? ?????????????????/""

If my camera is in my car and it is stolen will my auto insurance cover it?

How much would it cost for insurance for a 2004 Yamaha Blaster?

im considering buying a quad im wondering how much it would cost.

Car Insurance what companies have the cheapest rates?

Please help me! What Insurance companies have the cheapest insurance. ( male )

Please HELP! I am pregnant with no insurance?

I just found out today that I am pregnant and I don't have insurance, I own my own business so according to FL state I make too much money to qualify for medicare, which I don't, please help ,do you know any programs with the hospital where I can make payments or any other suggestion. Thank You! please only serious answers this is very important to me!""

Health insurance provided by the state of Florida?

My brother is getting married at the end of february but he said they may have to cancel the wedding because his fiancs health insurance will kick her off if she gets married. Can an insurance company actually do that?

Underwriing Problem With Car Insurance?

I have a car Insurance with Autoone and they found out that my sister is making use of the car i called the the company and they told to write a letter stating that she is not living with me and NOT make any use of the car also she has been moved out recently. So i need a nice good lettter . my sis name is Jennifer.

What kind of coverage do I need for my motorcycle insurance during storage months? It has a lien on it.?

What do I need and what can I take off from my coverage during the winter months when I store and not riding it? It has a lien on it so obviously I need to keep some coverage. A ...show more

""What car insurance is cheapest for teenagers? And is it better to pay monthly,every 6 months or yearly?

this is in the state of illinois.

Does having points on your liscence affect your insurance?

i am currently 20 years old, and have fully comp insurance costing around a grand... i am turning 21 soon but in the next few days am expecting to have 6 points on my liscense,, any opinions of how much i would be looking for fully comp renewal, or even for downgrade to 3rd party? thanks""

What kind of health insurance should I get?

I'm 20 I live with my parents we have U visas I know I don't qualify for Medicaid but I know we have to get insurance or pay the fine. What are my best options? Something affordable. Any advice would help because I know nothing about this! Thank y'all

Questions about car insurance?

If I get a Mustang 2011 (300 Hp V6) next year, my aunt who is a senior citizen and she has a clean record report, will be the owner of the car. I'm 18 though, how much is the cost for insurance in a year going to be?? Just estimation is fine.""

Is it good to shop around and change car insurance every 6 months. In order to always pay the lowest?

Does that look bad in your records, credit, financial history etc? Example..... This bastard is always changing car insurances every couple of months.""

Will my insurance cost raise up if I got hit and run?

Hello, couple days ago I've visited to my friend's house and parked the car properly close to the curb in the street, and as I came back I found my car hit badly all the way from rear tail-lights through all the way to the front part of the car(hood) which apparently caused lots of damage, which after I reported to my insurance company(my insurance company is FOREMOST) and took the car to a bodyshop, a few days later the estimator visited to bodyshop valued the damage worth of 8500$, so my question is` will my monthly bill raise up cause of this hit and run which obviously I'm not at fault at all?(note: we've two other cars under the same policy, so three cars in total), so IF my insurance bill will raise up, how much approx. it will raise? and WHEN?(will it raise right on my next bill or by the renewal time?) AND if it raise up too much can I just cancel this insurance(for the entire policy including the other 2 cars) and get another insurance for a decent price? thanks. some info: I'm from California, Los Angeles, this is first hit and run I've reported and my payments always been made properly so no a single late payment or anything, thanks.""

Cost of liability insurance for medical doctor?

What's the average cost for a private physician's liability insurance? What tips and advice do you have for someone starting a private practice?

Elizabeth New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 7201

Best motorcycle insurance coverage and cheapest in PA?

What is the cheapest motorcycle insurance i can get in Philadelphia PA? I know i could get a quote but i dont want to get a bunch of junk mail and give my personal information away. Basically, which insurance provider is the best? For the price? And also, what do you think would be my quote and what provider? Im 18 years old, with my first motorcycle, 2007 suzuki gsxr 600 (dont whine, im not wasting money on a 250cc bike) i also took the MSF safety course. (gives me about a 10% discount) ill choose the best answer if i get a good one.""

How do you know how much insurance to take when you buy car insurance?

Car insurance rate for a 17 year old male in Arizona through Geico?

I am planning on calling them to see what they said but I was curious as to what the typical amount would be. I am a B or higher student, depending on the class. I am a full time student, and will be for 5 more years... I have a job, and its been the same job for almost two years (if it matters) I will be on my moms plan, she hasnt had an accident in atleast 10 years, atleast from what i remember. I will be driving to work and school mainly. Most likely not driving more than the average mileage a year. I am assuming the type of car matters. It most likely going to be a 2007 Nissan Sentra 2.0L. It has less than 60K Miles on it. I hope that this is everything. Thanks in advanced!!! Kevin""

Car Insurance: Fully Comprehensive or Third Party ?

Plain English please: what is the difference between FULLY COMPREHENSIVE and THIRD PARTY FIRE AND THEFT car insurance? I have an old ford escort.

Will your insurance rates go up if you hit a car but don't cause any damage (California)?

Someone rear ended me but no visible damage was done to my car. I'm going to report it to my insurance company but I most likely won't file a claim. Will the other person's rates go up even if I don't file a claim but only report the accident?

Car insurance for teens... cost?!?

im 17 years old and im getting a miata 93. how much will insurance cost be around. by the way i have good grades

Where can I buy rental car insurance online?

If I don't want to buy LDW or ALI offered by the rental car company, where can I buy a cheaper rental car insurance online? I tried Travel Guard, but since I am not a U.S. resident I am not eligible.""

Teen car insurance price?

I want an idea of my monthly insurance cost now that I have my license and a car. Here are the details I'm male and 16 years old I live in the North Hills outside of Pittsburgh (pretty basic suburbs) The car is a '93 Pontiac grand am. 90k miles on the engine I'm the third owner Good condition with some rust just starting to form on the wheel wells I am the primary driver It is usually kept outside

Banking and finance or insurance and risk management?

I've been admitted to a university and now I've an option between two bachelors degree, banking and finance or insurance and risk management. I'm really confused, what do you think is a better degree to pursue in terms of future scope. thanks""

RIDICULOUS CAR INSURANCE QUOTES!!!?

I'm 18 I've just bought a Vauxhall corsa 1.2 and it's 1995, bought it for 250 ha. Anyway been looking for quotes and they're coming in 3500+!!!!! I'm getting so stressed out with the prices I'm full time worker and work 10 miles away from home so I need a car. I've tried having my mum as the lead and me a named driver, tried all the comparison sites and even had quotes for the black box but they're coming in all over 3500! Please can someone give me some advise or something. I'm wanting to pay about 2000 which I didn't think was unrealistic? Thanks""

Can you add you unborn child to your insurance?

well, I would like to add my baby to my boyfriend's insurance (the daddy) can he do it now or we need to wait until the baby is born?""

Car Insurance and And Accident?

I was hit from behind on Tuesday morning, called my insurance right after, the next day got my police report (like I was told) and gave me insurance the information, I also called the persons who hit me insurance and gave them the information, it turns out that on Wednesday this woman hadn't even filed a claim yet, nor picked up the police report (by law in NY state any accident that has damage reaching over $1,000 has to be sent to Albany by the people) I sent mine Tuesday morning. I was told within 24 hours a rep would call and send someone out to see my car, I figured that being it was late Wednesday already by Thursday or Friday I'd hear something. Turns out nothing yet, and when calling again this woman STILL hasn't filed a claim or picked up her police report. I plan on calling my insurance again but what is going on? How long must I wait for this, my car is damaged badly and needs to be fixed and I feel this woman should pay for this, and all she has caused me? What should be my next move here?""

I got a ticket for 64 in a 55 mph zone. will my insurance go up?

im 19 and have had one bump up about 2 months ago and i just got a ticket for going 64 mph in a 55 zone. will my insurance rates go up?

Auto Insurance in Ohio?

I'm going to be getting my license soon. Do I need auto insurance if I'll be driving one of my parents cars that already has insurance, or do I just need it if I have my own car?""

If requiring people to have car insurance is the same as requiring them to have health insurance then why?

Wont the US government help you pay your car insurance if you cant afford it? Isn't car insurance a basic human right?

How much would be insurance on a toyta celica for a 17 year old in uk?

I'm planning to get this car when i get my licence i was just wondering how much it would cost me. I'm getting it with bodykit and custom paintjob and it will be my first car

I got my first DWI i ll be getting my license back soon how much will my insurance go up in the state of mo?

in the state of missouri how much will my insurance rates go up after my first dwi? (and LAST)

Why should car insurance be cheaper for young people?

car insurance should not be cheaper for young people because they are not responsible

Where do I get low rate insurance in Toronto?

I am 56 and clean driver. My daughter is 25 and new driver.Which company can give me a better low rate insurance in Toronto?

Car insurance for teen help?

So am buying a car and my parents don't have a driver license But i Do But i am only 17 which makes the insurance a lot . So my moms friend said he would put me under his insurance but he isn't Driving but he has a valid new your license . So is there a way for me to be under his insurance with the title of the car in my name ? or does it have to be in his name does he add me to the policy as a Additional driver & The car Or just me alone and not the car ? what would happen if i get pulled over and the title is in his name ?

Any one know anything about the new medical insurances?

Please tell me that my co-payments will be less! I pay $15 for my primary care physician, $25 to see a specialist, that my primary care physician sends me to, from time to time, and $25 for lab blood tests. Most of my medicine co-payments are reasonable. Except two: $60 each every 30 days. Ouch. I am 60 and working full-time.""

A question about car insurance and modifying?

Okay, lets say you own a car, lets call this car A. You pay a car insurance company to insure you car. You hand over the required information and all that, and the car is stock when you insured it. Lets say you put a turbo, or intercooler, or new rims, or anything really, but you DONT mention it to the insurance company. Then you get into a car crash. What does the insurance company insure? The whole car with the non-insured parts? The whole car with only the stock parts (which was exactly what you payed for every month)? Or they insure nothing?""

What is the best kind of health insurance for fertility treatment?

Shopping for insurance and would like an honest answer from the people. I know I will be seeing a fertility specialist and doing lots of lab tests. Does anyone know which kind of insurance would best fit my needs? fyi, I live in northern California. Would a health savings account work?""

What is the best life insurance to get and where?

I'm young but not in the best health, I'm looking for life insurance, something affordable and legitimate""

Car insurance for a 16 year old girl?

I will be getting my license in march. I will be driving a 1998 4 door buick regal. I was wondering how much insurance may be. My parents have clean records and excellent credit. I maintain a 3.8 GPA but the insurance company doesn't give rebates for that.

Elizabeth New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 7201

Can I buy health insurance for one month?

I'm 19 yrs old and need health insurance to take a college course but since I'm prn my job dosents offer any to me!!! So is their anything I can do? I only really need it for one month.

""Who has the best car insurance for 2 people good credit, a 96 car and a 99 car. in the 40s, ?""

now in AAA, but AAA raised it since i moved to bismarck nd. shopping for good and reliable car insurance. its going to be staying with AAA, and pay more or go to no-dak, will not go ...show more""

What insurance rates do u all pay?

Just wondered what u all pay as i pay alot so does anyone else. Age -20 Sex -Male Car -Focus 2.0litre No mods Convictions-16 Month ban 3 years ago 1500 Anually

Driving without insurance?

My mom has insurance in her name for her car. I passed my road test yesterday and got my license. Can i legally drive the car with her INSIDE of the car? I'm not listed on her insurance? If i get pulled over do i legally have insurance? What will happen?

State farm car insurance?

recently i got my license and am now added, without charge, to my parents' car insurance. i'm 23 and from texas. my question is, if was to get married, would the company drop me off of the insurance?? i'd really like to know any info pertaining to this...i already called, but couldn't talk to anyone right now, so any knowledge would be great. thanks!!""

Do insurance companies insure a boat for its value or insure it for what you paid for it?

Renault Clio insurance for a 17 year old girl in Coventry?

I turned 17 last week, and plan on buying a Renault Clio for less than 1000, (about a 2001 reg). I have trauled all over the internet and cannot really find a decent quote anywhere, so I was wondering what an approximate cost of insurance would be? Thanks! Or if not, what are the best suggestions for a first car? Cheap insurance very important!!""

Whats the average cost for insurance for a corvette? but monthly?

well i want to get a corvette but i want to know the average insurance for it?

Car insurance after customization?

If I put a body kit, new wheels, etc... onto my car will it affect insurance? Do I need to let them know? Before? What about the warranty, I have bumper to bumper warranty.""

Is there an option for auto insurance for if you only drive your vehicle two to three days a month?

I have a truck that I only use like the 2 to 3 times my fiancee isn't around with her gas friendly vehicle. I drive a 15 MPG gas guzzlin' chevy 2500 HD. BUT, I do not want to pay for full insurance because I literally don't drive it but 2 to 3 times a month.""

What are premiums in insurance?

I'm looking at insurance policies.

Canceling car insurance?

im with hastings direct car insurance and my 1st payment i due on the 20th and i was wondering if i was to phone up and cancel my insurance will i still have to pay it all or will i just have to pay a small fee?

Let's not have universal health care but just make health insurance more affordable?

and have the insurance companies take out take all these pre existing condition clauses. Then we don't have to worry about giving health care to illegals or higher taxes. Does anyone agree with me?

Can i drive a van on a car insurance policy?

can i drive a van on a car insurance . or is up to the insurance underwriters my friend had he s van seized by the police be cos it cam up as having no insurance on the M I B database aa he wos using he s car insurance to drive the van on the highway . or is it up to the insurance company if there allow you to drive a van on a car insurance policy. that is not for the van you are using at the time ?

Life Insurance question?

I have a non-prefer smoking policy life insurance but on the present I smoke .what could happen if in case I die? will my insurance still cover my family?

Ex husband to pay off car. Who pays insurance?

Since my ex is paying my car off in the divorce shouldn't he be responsible for the full coverage insurance? I cant afford full coverage. If I only get liability should he cover the rest to obtain full coverage? Help!

Cheapest auto insurance?

im shopping for auto insurance and i want to know which is the best and cheapest for a 18 year old driving a 1997 ford escort

How much will my car insurance cost for 16 year old girl in possibly a ford taurus?

I'm going to be 16 and obviously I'm a girl. I might end up driving a ford taurus. But it's not decided yet. I'm going to put on as a secondary on my car and them my moms dodge grand caravan and my dads dodge dakota. Secondary on all. How much will my insurance probably cost? Would it be smarter to just be a primary on my car and not even on anyone else's car or would it be smarter to just be a secondary on my car? Or a secondary on all? Thanks

Can you buy auto insurance the very moment you buy a car? Do insurance companies work that quickly?

Can I call an insurance company the instant I buy a car and say, Hey, I just bought a car. I want to get insurance for it. ? I think companies should do this because if I take off from the dealership without insurance, and somebody hits me on the way home, I'm in trouble, right? I looked everywhere for this information, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Could somebody clarify this issue for me?""

Got into a car accident - how much will my premium increase if I go through insurance?

My friend says at most it could be $1000-2000 damage - but I'm trying to get the bare minimum fixed if they'll let me do that at their recommended shop...insurance company is nationwide...

""Where can i find out when my home was built, for insurance purposes. uk?

Just needed for home insurance quotes.

What cars would you recommend as a first car? Insurance wise? UK only?

What cars would you recommend as a first car? Insurance wise must be cheap? What are good insurance companies? UK only

How much would insurance cost me?

Hi im 16 and an about a week im going to get my car the honda s2000. my parents wanted me to look around for insurance under there name? you guys know any cheap insurance companys? and how much do u think it would cost me a month?

How to get cheaper car insurance?

im 17 and just passed my driving test, Ive got a 1.4l Peugeot 106 but I can't find car insurance any cheaper than about 3500 no matter where I look! I've spent hours looking online but it's all too expensive. Anyone know any cheaper insurance companies or have any tips??""

Cheapest Car Insurance For 18 yr old?

Trying to find CHEAP car insurance. I only need liability coverage, i own it out right. Anyone know any companies with good deals for 18 yr old drivers? thanks!""

Elizabeth New Jersey Cheap car insurance quotes zip 7201

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-per-year-would-motorcycle-insurance-cost-new-peterson/"

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spookyenemyperson-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Cheapest Car Insurance?

"Cheapest Car Insurance?

Whats the cheapest I can do for Auto Insurance? I lapsed a few times with my first Insurance, and had to switch cuz it was too much to renew. Then I qot a speedin ticket, 18 over limit (the speedin was unintintional), but its all paid for, and Im usinq Cuise Control reliqiously from now on. And I very cautious as far as wrecks qo.. Anyone have any suqqestions where my best bets would be? I need somewhere under or at $200 at most, per month. And yes Im aware of other details about the car itself is required, but as far as what I just presented, whats my best chances? (KY Farm Bureau, State Farm, qeico, and Allstate are out, Ive tried them)

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Cheapest Car Insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/state-farm-insurance-quote-texas-carl-richardson/"

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How much is insurance for a street Motorcycle ?

"How much is insurance for a street Motorcycle ?

How much would it cost me monthly for insurance on a street motorcycle. Original cost of motorcycle 4,500. I'm under 18 and have a GED hope that helps. Thanks

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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my names Alex im 16 years old and i have my license and a job. i have to cars a 1978 Cadillac coupe Deville and runs perfect but really bad on gas and a 1980 camaro sports coupe sitting since 1994 but runs witch car would be cheaper on insurance

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I changed auto insurance after my other policy lapsed due to direct deposit mix up. I went with State Farm for both vehicles and paid about 20 dollars more per month for a better policy. I got a letter 2 weeks into coverage stating my policies are being cancelled due to not showing 30 days of coverage at the time of purchase. So I guess they can cover me for a month and ditch me? This don't sound right. I have zero tickets and zero wrecks and the same goes for my wife. My agent says the rate will go up from 138.00 per month to 245.00 per month! ! ! ! ! WTF?

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Is there a certain amount of time you have to cash in a life insurance policy?

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Car Insurance-Where can i get cheap auto insurance online?

Where can i get cheap auto insurance online?

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nation wide..

Complete details of different insurances in USA?

Domain Knowledge of different types of Insurances of USA?

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This is for my first car 17 year old. Thanks

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Is it under 3000 Because I might get one next year I'm 16

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Have you heard of Bristol West Insurance Group?

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How much would insurance go up for a newer used car?

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-effect-does-minor-ticket-out-state-have-insurance-jason-tucker/"

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shamelessmilkshakepanda-blog · 7 years ago

Text

California insurance program help!!!!!?

"California insurance program help!!!!!?

i applied for insurance with them and they sent me back a letter saying i didnt qualify because i wasnt licensed continuously for prev 3 years.....ive been driving since i was 16 and now im 22 i had tickets prior but recently i obtained a dmv record and all of them are cleared ......but my license was suspened when i was 19-20 do you beleive this could have been why i was rejected?????

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Can anybody tell me where i can get cheap car insurance for my son he s 19 and has a full uk license?

Crazy car insurance!!!??? advice please?

how on earth do young drivers these days manage to afford car insurance! my son is 19 and has his provisional licence. we were hoping to buy a car for him and the lowest quote we have for insurance is for 1,900!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!how on earth do young people manage! does anyone know of a way round this??? we just want him to be safe and legal! advice please? all answers greatly appreciated.""

Whats a good price for auto insurance?

I'm a part-time employee that makes about 210-250$ a week. I drive about 50 mi. 4-5 days a week. I am trying to pay for tuition (3000 a quarter) and a cell phone bill as well (100 a month). I just want a rough estimate on what I should need. When I talk to a representative I feel like he wants to get the most out of me. When I try to pick out a quote myself, I tend to think of the worst cast scenario and opt for the better plans. My plans always come-out to be 220 a month. Is that high or just right? I just need a little guidance by my peers or by older folks that have been down this road before. Thank you very much.""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deducatbale do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance? also, do you support obamacare?""

Health Insurance while Pregnant? AZ-?

I'm from Arizona- This clinic I went to advised ACCESS insurance, and when I tried to apply, I was denied for living at home or not being 19 years of age if either of these were different, I would be qualified for this insurance. but because I am 18 and still living at home- and my mom won't help me to get on any type of insurance- I don't know what to do. My boyfriend is stressing me to figure something out. I quit my job to move out of the city and go to my Dad's to better take care of myself. His family makes too much money for me to be eligible for insurance under his name. I'm not yet in my second term- but close. I also want to know what to do for prenatal care- I've been taking the vitamins, and during pregnancy I was smoking cigarettes, pot, drinking, - other; (Granted I had no idea about my current condition) what can I do to insure a healthy child? homeopathic remedies are in favor, but I'm at my limit and I need serious advice""

California insurance program help!!!!!?

California motorcycle/moped laws?

Hello, I'm moving to california from florida in a month to start college, and I intend to sell my car here and get a moped or a motorcycle over there instead to save a little money. I don't know the laws on motorcycles there? i know in florida if its less than 50cc you don't need a motorcycle license or insurance. what about california? if you need insurance how much $/year are we talking? I don't know squat about motorcycles and I've never even rode one or understood the whole gears thing. if someone could recommend a few brands or even whether to get a motorcycle or a moped/scooter (is there a diff?) i have a tight budget (1-1.5K) any advice would be awesome!!!! <3""

How much does gender affect car insurance price?

I'm writing an essay on seemingly biased car insurance charges. Does anyone have any facts or statistics involving car insurance? Thanks!

How much would insurance be on a 2005 Subaru Wrx Sti?

Before you answer please read this: I am 16, this will be my first car, my father will be buying it for me but i would call the insurance company but they are closed at this time of night so i will just ask on here. Please do not lecture about how i don't need this car and all i understand the concern but since you aren't the ones paying the bills please don't lecture. Thank you for any and all help available.""

Anyone has geico car insurance? please help!?

I take my drivers test real soon, 2 weeks after school starts, so the first two weeks i have to ride the bus. i'm a junior, and i have many activities going on after school, i don't want my dad to keep dropping me off and picking me up. So i was wondering how long does Geico car insurance take process. I am not allowed to drive right after getting my license because i don't have car insurance. I have to get it after i get my license but how long does it take to get the car insurance? will the geico car insurance be done within few day so i can drive the car to school?""

Can someone help me find car insurance for my dad?

my dad is looking for a car insurance company that insures anyone who drives his car, ie. his children. is this possible? what insurance companies offer this type of insurance?""

Ford Mustang for a first car?

I know people say mustangs for 16 year olds have high insurance, but would buying an older model (1994-2000) with the V6 make insurance cheaper? Thanks!""

Will my parent's car insurance go up if I get my drivers license?

Ok I am 17 years old and will turn 18 soon. I have a lerners permit at the moment. My parents have Geico auto insurance and they will not let me get my drivers license because they said their rates would go up as long as I live at home and they can't afford to pay for my insurance. I called geico and they said it would go up,and they asked me what vehicle I would be driving. I told them that I don't have a car, and they said you have to be assigned to a car as a 'part time driver'. But the problem is, I don't need a car right now, I can drive a motorcycle. In the state of florida, motorcycle insurance is not required, but a class e drivers license is required to operate the motorcycle. So if I get my drivers license, why should my parents car insurance go up if I were to drive a motorcycle that does not require insurance at all?""

""Why is the lowest quote i get on insurance websites 4,352.46, I'm 17 and have passed, isnt this excessive?""

Im not sure if im doing it right, As my car is a new Citroen c1 which is a 1.0, insurance group 1?""

How much money do auto insurance brokers make?

How do they get paid? and how much?

Is Believing in God Similar to Having Car Insurance ?

Believing in God is like having Car Insurance Lls HOPE is Beautiful If you get in an accident you are covered (safe) If not you just short and out of luck ...You can not rule out that God does or doesnt exist....I have Faith that he does so when I die hopefully I meet him...For the rest that dont have Faith they're just cool with the idea that death is just the End and that's their opinion They're not dumb to me at all

What is the insurance expense on average per month to insurance an auto repair shop?

I'm trying to find information on approximately how much insurance costs for an auto repair shop. Specifically this shop will have one full time mechanic and one customer service representative. Two people, basically how much will it cost to insure (per month) this small auto repair business. The minimum liability required by law and between $25,000-50,000 to cover theft/fire/flood/etc.""

""If I already have health insurance, but get hired somewhere where they also have health insurance as a benefit?""

does that mean I HAVE to have their insurance? I want to keep my own insurance, which is under my parents health insurance.""

Car insurance whats the diff?

I got two insurance quotes and one is for 20/40 liability (the state min) and the other is for 100/300 what exactly does this mean. I know its the amount that they cover, but I only have liability so whats the difference?? Please, help.""

How To Fight Back When car Insurance Claim Is Denied?

a guy it me on the back wen i was stop on traffic them another hit him, the guy that hit me his insurance wont paid, i'm going to make a claim also with the other guy's insurance but can anyone tell me how i can fight this myself because i have 3rd class card insurance and they wont fight it ,i wane know ifcan i do anything like take them to court myself and how or anything around these lines thatcan help(they said they dodn have to much info on the case to said that they'r at fault""

Question for no claims bonus protected on car insurance?

hi Sorry might be a silly question but here goes,, i crashed this morning (have to go through insurance ) i have 4 years no claims (protected) my insurance is due in march . when i renew my insurance and get quotes will i say i have 5 years no claims in march as i have protected no claims bonus ???""

""I need car insurance, but have a terrible driving record right now. Any suggestions?""

How can I get coverage at a decent rate when I have a crappy driving record?? Ive called about 4 different companies, the lowest rate i found was $209 a month for 6 months. I have 7 points on my record currently!! I cannot get insurance through my parents and i am not married so basically I'm screwed...or I should look into paying a driver to cart my butt around.""

What Car has Cheapest Car Insurance For 17 Year Old?

Looking for cheapest car insurance for a new 17 year old driver. What car is best? Any ideas?

How old do you have to be to start driving lessons?

Visitors in USA - no medical insurance?

I have my parents visiting me from abroad and my father needs to go see a Doctor immediately for Heart Condition. He does not have any insurance in US. What can we do? Are the hospitals OBLIGED to see any patient, regardless of coverage? Will I get roped into the whole process? Please guide.""

How much would insurance cost on a 2 door car?

I wanted to get a 2 door car mainly on a Toyota Celica 2000 or a Ford Mustang and I was just wondering how much insurance it would be?

How on earth is car insurance cheaper for woman when more than 65% of crashes is by woman?

Do i need an auto insurance to drive a motorcycle? how much that would be if it is yes? higher than auto insu?

I think i need to know before i buy a bike that whether i would pay more $ on my insurance if there is 1 or would it be cheaper than an auto insurance, like car insurances?Ooh, i am an new driver so how much would it be?""

Insurance Forum?

Are there any good forums that discuss insurance products without trying to sell you something?

Will a speeding ticket increase the insurance rate on car?

I got a ticket and i dont want to tell my parents. The officer said i could send the check to pay it off through the mail or by email.

""I need a lot of dental work done and I don't have money for insurance, is there any programs or something I can sign up for?""

I was robbed at a job and got a tooth broke in half and I admit I never took care of my teeth as well as I should have, between our new baby and our bills I can't really afford Insurance or financing. i really just need a second chance, i feel like it holds me back from getting promoted and making a good first impression and id really like a better smile all around. is there any programs or something I can sign up for? I'd prefer for it to not be at the tax payers expense but I'm not above it. I live in california if that matters, thank you""

California insurance program help!!!!!?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/affordable-health-care-lindsey-church"

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dang-charlie-blog · 7 years ago

Text

My breast reconstruction story

For many years on end ive wanted to remove my breasts, not only am I transgender but I also was developing breasts at a young age I've been wearing a bra daily since I was 9, by time I was 12 I was a 36C, by time I was 14 I was a 36G. I always hated my body and I would bind my chest daily for a year straight, double binding, using ace bandages when I didn't have a binder on hand, avoiding pools and beaches, and staying inside and avoiding going out due to the dysphoria I had of my chest. About a year ago, around 6 months after I started binding I decided to ask my doctor about getting a breast reduction with my parents agreeing on it. Every night I would rub icy hot on my back and sleep on a heating pad. I couldn't stand for longer than a hour without unbearable back pain and shoulder pain. I had indents in my shoulders where my bra straps laid. Red marks down my chest from straps, marks along my back and under my arms, terrible rashes under my breasts down to my belly button. It was itchy, red, and when I would sweat it had a very unique smell and the skin would litteraly peel off at the end of the day. When I laid on my stomach it caused discomfort, when I took off my shirt for my partner I would hide my breasts in embarrassment. They hung low, my nipples pointing down, flat as pancakes but thick enough to fit into a G cup bra. I would hide my chest during sex and often times keep my shirt on and hold them down, when I spread my arms out on my bed they would roll into my armpits. I was so ashamed of my body that I would self harm, I would cut along the top of my breasts leaving scars that would never truly go away. My breasts were ruining my life, my self love, and my ability to be in a stable relationship that I felt like I was enough to be in. Nobody once told me that they were ugly or disgusting, my hatred for them was always my own, and it was difficult to explain why I was so ashamed of my body. My doctor wrote a recommendation letter to insurance to cover the surgery, due to battling anorexia for several years I was quite thin, so I didn't have to lose weight for the surgery. Nobody at the time knew I was anorexic, I always blamed my beautifully thin body on being vegan. I met my surgeon doctor Landon Pryor not many months later, just after taking one look at the size of my breasts he recommended a reduction and reconstruction. I pleaded to be quite small, which he happily agreed would be the best for my personal case. A second appointment was scheduled and he took photos of me from every angle, his assistant spoke about insurance and scheduled the surgery for 5 months after the second appointment, the hospital I would be going to was Swedish American. When the surgery date finally came, I woke up excited and prepared, quite hungry from not eating since the day before. I walked into my mother's room happily awaiting my ride to the hospital, she informed me very hesitantly that my surgeon had called to inform her that he would not be performing the surgery as he was too sick to operate on that day. The surgery was postponed for another month. While I was quite hungry I will admit I did not eat much that day and slept away my disappointment. Soon enough the next month came by quite quickly, at this point I wasn't completely sure if the surgery was really going to happen after waiting so many months for it to happen, I followed the instructions the nurse gave me over the phone the day before and woke up on a empty stomach and my mother drove me to the hospital in my pajamas and once we got there and checked in I waited patiently for my boyfriend, Jay to arrive. Of course, Jay got lost in the hospital and it took him a bit to catch up with us. We cuddled up in a beautiful display of public affection in the waiting room with heavy eyes and nervous faces. The nurse called me back and me, my mother, and Jay all sat in the prep room meeting all the doctors as they came in to meet me. At this point I was wearing nothing but my boxers, purple hospital socks and a giant bright purple surgery gown along with a hair net that all the doctors happily refered to as my party hat. When the surgeon came in to mark me I insisted to be as small as possible, showing him photos of trans guys who got full top surgery as a example of how small he could go, he misunderstood what I meant and decided to refuse the surgery under the thought that I didn't understand what surgery I would be getting that day. He angrily threw his own across the room as I broke down in tears as my mother started to stress out and lecture us, Jay worryingly tried to explain to the surgeon that he had misunderstood what I was trying to tell him, he left and came back 15 minutes later when I had calmed myself down enough to help him understand what I wanted him to do, we agreed on a breast reduction and reconstruction as originally planned. After being marked i laid back down as the nurse gave me a sedative to help my anxiety before surgery, she took me out of the room after I kissed jay goodbye and I was off to the operating room. Most people don't remember being in the operating room but for me that wasn't the case, they offered to move me onto the surgery bed but I insisted that I could walk, and I did so flawlessly. I crawled up onto the much firmer, white surgery bed, which was very thin and long, I positioned myself as they asked me to and rested my arms above my head as they prepared the room one last time. They told me that I should be feeling sleepy soon and 30 seconds later I drifted calmly off to sleep. During surgery it took about 3 hours, during the operation my heart rate dropped to 50bpm and they had to give me medicine to get my heart rate back to normal. I woke up in recovery in a feeling of sleep paralyze, unable to move, confused as to where I was and why I was there. After 10 minutes I noticed a male nurse whom answered all my questions, explaining I was in recovery. Immediately I looked down under my gown and realized that I indeed /did/ have the surgery, I asked for food with a polite decline, but he did offer a cherry popsicle which I ate flawlessly in my drugged up state. After about 45 minutes they allowed me to use the bathroom, strangely after surgery you can't pee. It's impossible no matter how much you have to go. I whispered sweet commands to my bladder for a few minutes until finally I was able to release a little bit, enough to say I went pee anyways. Afterwards I was brought back into my room, I was reunited with my mother and Jay, after about a half hour I was released and ready to go home. Most of my recovery for the first week was sleeping, taking meds, and laying in bed doing nothing. I had quite a few friends over the first week to help me out as I couldn't do stairs on my own very easily and got winded quite fast. At around the 2 week mark I had a air bubble in my right breast, it made noises when I poked it and sounded like a water bed with air in it, my surgeon assured me it would dissolve on its own and is of no concern. Later on in the 2 week mark I noticed a clear plastic string poking out of my left breast by my arm, naturally I trimmed it and carried on with my life. At about the 3 week mark I noticed it got longer and more and more started coming out. My surgeon again said that this was fine and to simply keep them trimmed back and the problem would solve itself. By the 4 week mark I had realized I had spitting stitches as most of my incisions had opened up and spit out knots and ties of every sort in every area, dissolvable staples also made their way out and I simply pulled them out with tweezers and applied gauze pads and the ointment my surgeon gave me. This painful experience continued until eventually I was able to pull out 6 inch long strings of the internal stitches at a time, which helped the skin heal up on its own and eased my worries. On the left breast in the incision that travels to my nipple was quite open and sore, there was a single stitch poking out and a ton of pinkish yellow fluid draining out, this got so bad I soaked through a entire roll of paper towels within 8 hours, my surgeon who was then 7 hours away told me to keep doing what I've been doing and that everything would be fine. A few days later I was able to pull out the entire stitch causing the drainage, once the hole closed I was on my way to healing once again, from that point forward most of my problems were gone and I was focused on healing my terrible open wounds that were left from the rejecting stitches. I saw my primary care doctor not long after, she ran no tests but told me there was no infection and slapped a bandaid on my breasts and sent me home with a thumbs up. They began to scab up. Started leaking less, and started healing nicely. At the 5 week mark I went off my pain meds, the next day I got sick, flu like symptoms, my right breast swelled up over the course of 4 days, the incisions got swollen and rock hard, I started my period around then so I blamed medication withdrawals and my period on my complications, I was cold all the time, shaking, sweating in my sleep until my bed was soaked, sore throat, but no runny nose or other common sickness symthoms, my stomach was upset but not enough to vomit. My appitite was gone and I could only eat fruit without losing any chance of eating, I had meals prepared for me as I was unable to walk to the kitchen and stand longer than 2 minutes before passing out or fainting, I had terrible migraines the entire time and honestly felt like I was dying. After I started to feel slightly better on the last day of the sickness I noticed that my incision close to the middle of my chest on the right side was rock hard, soft in the middle and black and blue. I went to bed hoping it would get better on its own. I woke up the next morning and cleaned my incisions as usual, I took off my surgical bra and wiped down the skin and wounds, carefully rubbing ointment on them. I felt something warm run down my body, I looked down where my chest was once black and blue and noticed a 2 inch area of my incision had ripped open somehow, I pulled the breast up to have a closer look and it ripped even further, I saw a hole going inches inside my breast, pulsing as the breast tissue ripped apart in front of my own eyes. My father rushed me to the emergancy room where they performed a CAT scan and found 3 fluid pockets in my right breast, they swabbed the wound and it tested positive for infection. The fluid pockets were huge and filled with infection. 30 minutes later the pink and yellow fluid stopped dripping out and I felt a pop as brown chunky pus started to flow out of the hole like a waterfall, covering myself and several nurses with pus. Eventually a surgeon looked at me and told me they would need to transfer me to a different hospital for emergancy surgery as I had a life threatening infection, possibly mrsa. The ambulance got me to the other hospital quickly and ran me to my room on a stretcher, I had several doctors and nurses come in to see what was going on, my father arrived alone by car with a phone charger and a worried look on his face. They took care of me all night as my body was soaking through bandages every half hour to a hour, another hole started leaking as well and squirted out with extrodinary pressure and had to be held down by three nurses. After a long night of antibiotics, fluids, and pain medication the plastic surgeon finally arrived the next morning, said he would need to operate immediately. He unbandaged me to discover another part of my incision had ruptured as pus covered my body as I shivered in disgust, I had three gaping holes in my chest that were oozing everywhere. Finally by 2pm I had two nice sassy ladies change me into a gown, gather me in a bed and rush me down to surgery. When I got there I gave a urine sample and got a shot of valium 4 minutes before they wheeled me into the surgery room, as usual I remember it clearly. I walked up onto the table and laid down, wearing my party hat and drugged up for the second time. By time I was out I was awake again as the surgery took only a half hour. I woke up less dazed and confused as before, the surgeon didn't use internal stitches as my body previously rejected them. He was able to drain my entire pus bubble and I went from a D cup to a 34B just from removing the pus from my breast and I was once again the same size as before the infection started. I had a drain installed in me to drain the fluids in a less disruptive way and was finally discharged on the third day at the hospital, two days later and a ton of pain meds and antibiotics and I'm finally healing more than I ever have in the entire recovery time after my surgery. Even though I'm post op for the second time, this time will be the last time I get the same surgery twice. Finally stable and moving forward, this boy would do it all over again if I had to.

#breast reduction #surgery #recovery #post op #transgender #transsexual #trans surgery #breast lift #breast surgery #breast reconstruction #surgeon #surgery complications #surgery fail

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bjornartesttest · 8 years ago

Text

Februar, 2017

Its about one year since my last post, so I will start this of with a little sum-up about whats been going on in my life since march last year.

In my last post I left it of stating that I was going to chill with the boys, and focus on work. I guess I didnt completely manage to ive up to that. Having that said, Ive been more true to my self then I have in the past at least. The bouS:

Max:

We met a few times on dates, we had a one-night stand and we also went for a walk. I was always a bit scared to get to into him, as it was clear hw wanted to get out of Norway and see the world. And thats what he did He moved to Germany this fall, I think he is haveing a good time there. Good for him!

Pål:

Me and Pål are still friends, though there is something about our chemistry that always ends up with flirting. I think he is still into me. I have a tendency to always reject him in a nice way. He respects it though, and I dont think I am taking advantage of him. I met him last night on his birthday, wich was nice. I dod make sure to go home before I got too drunk though.. We also meet every second month or so though a dinner club we have started with common good freind Siri. Very nice.

Steffen:

We were supposed to meet up again and have some fun a few weeks ago, but hew then all of a sudden had started to date his old summer fling and called it of. Not very suprsing I must say. Speaking of, it might also have something to do with the fact that I dated his ex boyfriend this summer. I found out about it on the last date I had with the guy (whom I cant remember the name of anymore). A very handsome architect in his late 30s. It was sort of a turn-of for us both that we had been with the same guy though I think. More about that later

Other boys:

Marius:

Marous I met around May/June last year. Hes a 36 year old nurse, wirking with HIV at Olafia clinic in Oslo. Marius is in many ways a bit like me. POsitive, firendly, medium self confidence, creative, a bit weird, tall. We were a really good match, and had some very nice dating time before the summer hoilday. For some reason though, It felt like we were a bit to simlar. Not enough friction. So- after my summer holiday when he was away, I was out dancing one night - wich leves me to Ingemar. The guy who made me understand I should not be with Marius anymore (aka I dumped him 3 weeks after I met ingmar).

Ingemar:

24 year old guy. Crazy, handsome, cute, smart and a handfull... We met at the dancefloor and then spent every nihght together for a week. Very intence, and also at the point when I was not done with Marius yet. He was ony on town for a week before he went to exchange studioes at a Architecture aschool in france. We kept in touch during fall and talked a lot on the phone. He met the fwall and kept me in the loop on his journey, wich made our connectionquote special. Somehow I really started to care for him. Whn he came home around chrsitmas, I think we were both wondering about what our connection was really about. I did not really feel a “in love” connection anymore, but I think I tried to lie to myself and try to convince myself that I did. Maybe he did the smae. We met once before xmas, and then we talked and texted thoughtout the holidays about our lives. Very deep - kind of to ddep maybe? I invited him over in the beginning of december, and it kind of felt a bit forced and unromatic. At the same time, we totally opepend up so I know alot about him and vice versa. We ended up concluding with that we are better of as friends. I think thats a good thing, and it will be interesting to see how our connection will continue. Will the freindship thing come natural, or will it still be weird once in a while? Time will show. Im not 100% sure myself about how much it makes sence to be in touch...

Germain:

Me and Germain met a year ago. At that time I had decided to have a boy break, so I dodnt follow up. This fall I saw hime on Gaysir, and invited him out for a date. Hes a super cute, smart mexican 28 year old boy. Very passionate about his studies, hobbies and work, and a stable soul. I like many sides of his. Having that said, we have not met in over a month, so I am not really sure where it is going. He texts me, and want h´to hear how I am doing, but he also never have toime to meet up because of his tight schedule. I have a tight schedule, but I still manage to prioritize. Before xmas, we met maybe 5 times. Nice trios, dates, kissin, food. The last night when we were suposed to have sex was though a bit awkward. We could not go though w it, as he told me he just found out he had an STD in his throat. Aka not even kissing. Anyways, to be honest - I am not really quite sure what to di with him. Its like he is the only one I am currently “in touch” with, but if its not leading anywhere - is it perhaps better to just close the case? If I dont hear from him in a week, I am out.

So . that was my last year with boys. A ot of very interesting boys, but nothing that really hit the right note it seems. Ive been frustrated lately, as it feels like Ive allready met all the good boys in the city, and Im getting anxous out and about as there are so many old flames anywhere I go. Fuck budies, dates, Grid faces... urgh... So - right now I am on a gay break. No applications, no onlune profiles. I even deleted my 10 year old gaysir profile...

It actually feels quite refreshing. I really needed a littel mental break, something I think is really good for me. I will try to keep it up for the next 4 weeks, before I start opening up again. I still have some fuck buddies though, wich helps. Ive meet them both now for quite some time, so it feels safe and nice. Before I started this “off face”, I was very out there. I dont think Ive ever had as much sex in my life as ive had the last 12 months. Because of this, I applied to get PREP in december. Something I ironcly got one week before I deleted my profiles. Its been great to have sex without a condom with my normal partners though. For the past month Ive taken a pill every day, but I will stop doing that and focus it around planned meetings after my next doctors appointment.

So - sum up about boys:

I met a lot of great guys, and now I feel exhausted and a bit drained and frustrated. I have forgotten how it felt to be in a realtionship and beeing cudeled every night. Definelty in a veryindepenent phase somehow. Im k´going to keep it like that for a little bit longer.

Other in life, its been a eventful year. I bought my own appartment, a lovely small place in gamlebyen. Ive spent all of my money and a lot of my time fixing it up and getting it into shape. I am quite happy with it :-)

Also, Ive had a bit of a hard year workwise. Two of my biggest projects ever did not go how I watd them to. I did not manage to stir them the way I wanted, and as a result I crashed a bit last fall mentally. I lost a lot of confidence, and started questioning everything. I dont fell like talking to much a out it, as Ive allready processed it quite well, but what that is worth mentioning though is that it made me think about a lot of things I have not thoght about in a long itme. Such as future goals, dreams, expectations to myself and what that really matters in life.

I am writing this post now partly because I dont want myself to forget the journey I started, and what fruites I have gotten so far. What do I need to do to keep this up?

Basically, I felt frustrated and asked myself what I could do to get more focused, inspired etc. I decided to talk with a school, AHO, and their MA course in service design. I have been thinking about maybe applying there this coming fall. I also talked with one of my bosses to see if I somehow could learn and work with the same things at the office - and school myself there. To be honest - I started up very good - but have not been good at follwing up. I will keep this in mind on my “goals list” in the end of this post.

Ive started working as a voluntair at Sjekkpungt, something thta has been very intersting so far. My role is to test people for HIV. So far Ive only been and the workshops, but in a months time, I will start testing people myself. Looking forward to that.

Ive gotten active in Grafill, and their graphic design group. So far its been really fun. I might take of the the spot as lader of the group ina months time, wich is great. I would love to be more active with those kind of issues.

Work has btw been quite nice now after XMAS. Ive finished all my projects in time, and delivered fairly well on all of them I think.

Ive also managed to get two freelance gigs. One for Stanavger Kunssenter, and one for Tableau. I really enjoy working on them both, now I just need to do them!

Other then that, Ive been hitting the gym A LOT lately, and I am slowly starting to get results. Body feels more toned, and I am starting to get quite comfertable with how I look. I will do what I can to keep it up!

SO - to do list:

- Stay of apps for anohter few weeks

- Give Germain one week to make up his mind, then be straight forward and move on.

- Keep up the gym - six pack by april (text PT)

- Have FUN with freelance work. Focus hard the next few days. Finish webshop, email Katrin, make “shop” logo.

- Start developing the Geology project - Morteza? Karoline?

- Applyi for AHO!!

- Start thinking about potential moves next fall.. Copenhagen? AHO? Other opertunities?

- FInd out how to do more teaching. Who to talk with?

- Read service design books

- Visit Silje

- Eat soup

- Russia

- pay down Mastercard by MAY

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