#i like the character but hate him as a person

[the-fab-fox]

The reason I love this show is because it's the only show where a normal every day guy becomes the bad guy but it's done in a way that actually pretty realistic when it comes down to it.

You are not supposed to like Walt. By the end, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to hate and despise him. But at the same time, you can also see where he is coming from. You can also see where all the characters are coming from.

The thing I was most surprised about was that I was rooting for Hank, Walter's brother-in-law the whole time. And I don't like cops. At all. But I like Hank as a person and he is a good cop. Like I feel like he would not see a poc and immediately think 'he must be the culprit'. Y'know. But regardless of that, Hank the cop, is the GOOD guy. (Jessie I would say started as kinda an anti-hero but his guy at the end. Like he's always been good but Walter definitely messed with his head.)

And it's wild to come at it from this angle which is why I think the show did so well aside from the writing and the amazing cast of actors.

The worst thing is, while I felt bad for Skyler, I didn't like her. I didn't like her at all. But that's personality and that's only because we only see her at her worst because of Walt. Far too many people hate on her when really, we shouldn't be. Like yes she took advantage of the situation but really, who wouldn't, especially in this economy. That does make her an accomplice, but she is not the evil. Walter is. He even says it. "I'm the one who knocks." Skyler has no power. Walt holds power over her honestly.

And it also has one of the best written and most charismatic big villains I've ever seen in any media. Giancarlo Esposito is absolutely show-stopping and scene-stealing as the sociopathic (I cannot see him not being sociopathic with everything he's done) Gus Fring.

So yeah. Just do fascinating to watch the real time (for the most part) collapse of a man into madness and evil.

It's so crazy. If you haven't watched it, and can stomach some level of blood and gore (mostly not the really gruesome stuff except an explosion at one point is off screen and we at most see the aftermath), then I strongly urge y'all to give it a try.

[motorsportbarbie13]

Aftermath - Chapter 2

When Lando leaves you heartbroken after you get tired of trying to make nothing into something for far too long, Max steps in to help you pick up the pieces.

warnings: this chapter contains language and descriptions that illustrate abuse (mental and emotional). lando is abusive, full stop but like many survivors of abuse, it takes reader a bit to claw herself out of this. as a survivor of abuse myself, I am doing my best to give this story line the most respect and care that i can. please don't engage with my work if you find any of the topics triggering. my sincerest apologies for not putting this in the warnings at first. lando is, once again, an absolute asshole in this. sorry bubs. swearing. i'd also like to point out that this is a character i am writing, i in no way am insinuating or implying the real lando is like this in any way. pairing: max verstappen x leclercsister!reader word count: 4k

Chapter 1 Master List

“You didn’t have to walk me home, you know. It’s only a few blocks.” You tell Max as you press into his side, shivering against the cold breeze of the Monaco night. It had been warm when you left the apartment earlier that evening but now the air held a chill that had you wishing you had taken Carles up on his offer to drive you back home. 

Around you, the city buzzes, a hive of activity on a Friday night but the extent of your world consists of only you and Max. 

“Of course I did. It’s late and cold and there was no way you were walking home alone.” 

“Max, we live in Monaco, I’m perfectly safe.” You joke but secretly, you’re glad Max had offered to walk you home. 

You’d never admit it but you liked being around him, his demeanor had always been calming to you and tonight, your nerves were frayed more than usual. It was probably thanks to the whispers you had heard at the gallery, asking not so quietly where Lando was as you walked around and spoke to the guests. He had never showed up and while you were disappointed he hadn’t showed, you weren’t quite surprised either. There had been something in his tone when you left that evening that had anxiety curling your gut before you even stepped out of the apartment. You hated to even think it, but you somewhat suspected he had never planned on showing up to the show at all that night but you wouldn’t ever put a voice to those thoughts.   

“Fine then.” Max huffs, but there’s no venom in his voice. “Maybe I just wanted to spend some extra time with you, okay? I feel like we never see each other anymore.” Max lets the unsaid end of that sentence hang in the air: ‘Because you’re with Lando now.’  

Your heart aches at the truth of his words. A lot of your friendships had taken a hit over the last three years. You hadn’t meant for it to happen, but your circle had shrunk significantly since you had started dating Lando and it shocked you how you never had realized it until now. It had started small, with Lando saying he just wanted to spend the weekend only with you while he had a rare weekend off and then slowly morphed into him only wanting to spend time with his friends so if you wanted to see him you had to spend what little time you got with him with his friends as well. Slowly, your friends stopped calling and inviting you places because the answer was always the same: ‘sorry, Lando has plans this weekend and I’m going to tag along with him!’ Or just a straight up ‘no, not this time.’ 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, biting your lip as guilt creeps up your neck. “It’s been a rough year.” 

Max hates the regret that courses through him. He shouldn’t make you feel like this, shouldn’t voice his opinion of what he sees happening in front of him. He can’t help the frustration that bubbles to the surface when you talk like that though. He knows exactly where it comes from and it kills Max knowing that there is one person solely responsible for dimming that sparkle you’ve always had. 

Max stops in the middle of the sidewalk, causing a few tourists to shout in surprise when they have to dodge the Dutchman’s tall frame. A frown finds itself onto his face as he looks down at you. Your heart stutters to a stop, you’ve seen this look before and it has the hairs on the back of your neck prickling. 

“I hate when you do that.” He can’t help himself, he’s kept his peace for far too long but the fact that  Lando missed tonights show has been burning a hole in his chest all night and the embers were about to flare to life. 

Panic squeezes at your chest. Around you, people are shooting glances your way as you both stand in the middle of the crowded sidewalk. You only have a few moments before someone notices it is you and Max Verstappen and start taking pictures. Pictures that will inevitably show up on some gossip instagram account and cause you more trouble than they’re worth. 

“Do what?” Despite your desire to not be seen arguing with Max, you can’t help the question that slips out. 

“When you apologize for things that aren’t your fault. Anyone with eyes can see who the problem is in your relationship and it’s not you, Dovie.” Max’s words come out more harsher than they intend and he knows he’s approaching a line that probably shouldn’t be crossed tonight. 

You can’t bring your eyes up to meet Max’s heated gaze but you can feel him looking at you. Those blue eyes you used to think you could get lost in when you were younger. Before everything changed. Before you met Lando and he swept you right off your feet. 

“Charles told me about the apartment.” Max confesses. Maybe if you know you have others supporting your decision to leave, it’ll make it easier. He hopes that his support would mean something to you.

Your stomach plummets to your toes, cheeks burning red with shame. “Charles should keep his big mouth shut.” You bite out, fists working themselves into a ball at your sides. 

Max’s eyes narrow at your outburst. There was the fire that you’d been missing. Something in Max heaves a sigh of relief, you’re still in there. You’re on the cusp of getting that fire back and Max can almost see you reach for it deep in the pit of your belly. You’re so close to the edge and Max knows you well enough to know when to back off.  

“I’m sorry.” He holds his hands up in surrender. “I won’t press. I just wanted you to know that I miss you.” 

Max momentarily wonders if he’s gone too far when he sees tears well up in your eyes. His heart squeezes at the thought of being the one to make you cry. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.” You sob, no longer caring who sees you or what could possibly make it back to Lando. “I know you’re friends with him and I shouldn’t put you in the middle of our mess.” 

Max’s brows knit together in confusion. The fact that you would question his loyalty to you over Lando simply baffles him. “I’ve been in your life longer than I’ve known Lando and you’ll be in my life long after he’s gone.” Max lets that last sentence hang in the air, the prophecy of his words clinging to your skin. 

“Max.” You whisper, floored by the fierceness of his tone and the sincerity of his words. 

Panic claws at him. He’s gone too far, revealed too much. He can’t do that with you now, not when you’re already so fragile. You don’t need that from him and he knows it. Back off, something in him orders and alarm bells clang to life. 

“All I’m saying is,” Max keeps his tone deliberately light. “If you need a friend to talk to, I’m here. Always.” 

You nod, appreciating how he backed off when he saw you panicking. 

Max takes your elbow before turning you around, pointing you in the direction of your apartment. “Come on, let’s get you home, okay?” 

As Max walks you the rest of the way home, Lando is still set up in his gaming room playing Tarkov with Max on his stream. As they begin another raid, Lando notices Max’s stream start to pick up at a much faster pace than it’s been running all evening. He’s been streaming for hours now, since before you left the apartment and while he knows the opening should be wrapping up right about now, he has a hard time caring. Those things are always so boring and he never understands the art, even if it is nice to be photographed out with you and your brothers. 

“What is this link everyone’s spamming chat? You all know if you start spamming, we’re going to mute you.” Max asks, frustration evident in his voice. 

Lando glances over at the chat screen on his second monitor and sees his name flying by along with what looks like an instagram link. He knows he shouldn’t click on dodgy links but curiosity gets the best of him because at the same time the chat starts to explode, so do his notifications from Instagram. “The fuck?” He mumbles, ignoring Max who is reading the chat as they come in. 

“First Verstappen steals your championship, now he’s stealing your girl? Chat, what the fuck are you all on about?” 

Lando can feel the heat rising in his face and he’s instantly thankful that he’s got his video off. He mutes himself quickly too before texting Max, who is desperately trying to regain control of the chat. The link finally opens and Lando nearly drops his phone. He’s been tagged in a series of photos that show you and Max walking out of the gallery together, then you two stopped in the middle of the sidewalk embracing with you clearly looking upset, and then a final one showing you two walking away together. 

Anger flares bright and sharp in his chest as he looks at the photos. You’re making him look like a fool, galavanting around town with the likes of Max Verstappen late at night, especially after all he went thorough with Max last season. What the fuck were you thinking?

“Alright, chat I think that’s going to be the end of the stream tonight. This is why we can’t have nice things!” 

Max ends the stream without a second thought, knowing that Lando is going to be incandescent with rage after seeing those photos and reading all the comments. 

f1.gossip.source posted

f1.gossip.source First he steals the championship, now it looks like Max Verstappen is making a play for @/lando's girl. Uh ooooooh... user9928 I mean, she looked pretty upset in the other pictures I saw leaving the gallery. Lando didn't show to support her so... user298 paddock bunnies gonna bunny >>>user223 she's literally known Max almost her entire life??? user110 this isn't a thing...her and Max have been friends for YEARS. Leave the poor girl alone user1008 lando's loss, she's amazing. user918 idk but if my girl got caught getting a kiss from another guy, I'd go scorched earth >>>user028 SERIOUSLY I am floored by the people defending her??? Like??? >>>user928 maybe if Lando showed up for his girlfriend, Max wouldn't have had to step in and comfort her...?

As Lando struggles to come to grips with what he just saw, you and Max are standing in the lobby of your apartment as you desperately search for your keys. “Fuck, I think I forgot my keys upstairs.” 

“Just give Lando a call, I’m sure he’s still up.” 

You shrug, cheeks heating. “He sometimes gets tunnel vision when he’s streaming and forgets to check his phone.” You admit, not wanting to go more into detail because you know how bad it’ll sound if you have to tell Max that sometimes Lando will completely ignore you while he’s streaming. What you also don’t tell him is that this has happened to you before and all three times, you’d had to spend the night at either Jade or Charles’ house because he had been on stream so late you had nearly fallen asleep in the hallway. 

Max levels a glare at you, unable to believe what you’re saying. “Well, lets both go up then and maybe we can get his attention by knocking.” 

Anxiety ripples through you as Max starts off towards the elevators, giving you no other choice but to follow him. It’s a quiet ride up to your floor as you fidget with the hem of your shirt, unable to even attempt to make small talk with Max. You know the facade of your entire relationship is about to be lifted right in front of one of your oldest friends and you don’t quite know how to make it stop. 

When you raise your hand to knock, your heart hammers in your chest so wildly you momentarily worry Max is going to be concerned for your health. Much to your surprise, it only takes a few short moments for the door to swing open so fast you nearly stumble back. 

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Lando spits when his eyes land on Max. The venom in his voice is so shocking you need to take a step away, unintentionally stepping closer to Max, which seems to set Lando off even more. Rage flares in his eyes at your proximity to his on-track rival. 

“That’s a wild way to say ‘hey man, thanks for walking my girlfriend home in the dark because I couldn’t be bothered to show up to her art show’ but you’re welcome.” Max grits out, taking one step closer to you as if he might need to get between you and Lando. 

Tension hangs thick between the three of you as Lando seethes where he stands in the door. 

“Max, it’s okay.” You whisper, shame lighting a painful spark of fire deep in your chest. This was going to get out of control so quickly. 

“No, it’s not and you know it.” Max turns back to Lando now, eyes blazing with a level of anger that is miles more intense than the look Lando is giving you. “And why the fuck are you coming at her so hot? All I did was walk her home.” 

Lando scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Because this was just posted by almost a dozen gossip accounts and was being spammed all over Fewtrell’s chat while we were streaming.” 

You take the phone Lando is brandishing in your face and go pale. The carousel of photos in the new post are pretty damning, you have to admit but you would have thought that your boyfriend of all people would know better than to blindly believe a series of grainy photos above trusting his own girlfriend. 

“Lando…” You sooth, arm reaching out to touch his elbow. You wince when he pulls away from you. “You of all people should know how those things are twisted. Max was just walking me home and we were talking, that’s it.” 

“But why was he hugging you?” He shows you the third picture of Max hugging you after you had started crying out on the street. You had to admit you were kind of impressed with how fast those photos got out, but it was Monaco after all and you hand’t exactly been discreet when you were upset with Max. 

“Because she was upset you didn’t show up for her. Again!” Max shouts and you flinch.

 The words slice a fresh wound across your heart. The fact that Max knew that this wasn’t the first time upsets you more than you think it should. You’re not entirely sure why Max’s opinion of you matters so much but you’re not quite willing to examine those feelings yet. 

Lando’s glare swings away from you and back onto Max. “Because I’ve been to a million of them and they’re all the same. Same pretentious people pretending they have taste. Once you’ve been to one you’ve been to them all.” 

The words that come out of your boyfriend’s mouth have you audibly gasping, hand flying to your throat. “Lando.” You whisper, pain and shock coursing through your voice. 

You swear you feel a brush of fingertips on the small of your back but the touch is so light and so quick you think you’ve imagined it. 

Something flickers behind your boyfriend’s eyes then and it’s almost like he realizes he’s gone a step too far. His shoulders sag and he shakes his head. “I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry baby.” Lando reaches for you and before you can step away, he pulls you into his chest. He doesn’t miss the way you stiffen in his embrace though and neither does Max. “Please come inside and we can talk about it alone, okay?” He whispers, glaring at Max, clearly dismissing him. 

The way his arms used to feel around you was comforting, you’d seek his affection when you were anxious or upset and he would always take care of you but somewhere along the line, the affection you craved stopped being handed out so easily. Now, you craved it but only because if he was touching you it meant he wasn’t mad at you and maybe this time it would be different. Every time he showed you this kind of affection you hoped that this would be the time he would change. 

It never was. 

“Thank you for walking me home, Max. I’m sorry you got dragged into this.” 

Worry lines crease the spot between his brows as he frowns. Everything in his body is screaming to put up a fight and not let you go inside with Lando. He knows if Charles were here and had just witnessed what he had, there was no way Lando would be leaving this building in anything other than a body bag but he wasn’t Charles and he didn’t have any entitlement to you. He wanted to fight but you weren’t his to fight for. 

“Call me if you need anything, okay Dovie?” 

Lando’s arms tighten around you at the nickname. He hates it and Max knows it. “She won’t need to, I’ve got her.” 

“You sure about that, mate?” Max asks, one brow tipping up in question. 

Without waiting for a reply, Max turns on his heel and walks towards the elevator. In his pocket, his fingers curl around his phone because the moment he gets out of the building he knows exactly who he’s going to be calling: Charles. 

As soon as Max leaves and your behind closed doors, the mask slips again. 

“What the fuck were you thinking, walking home with Max fucking Verstappen? And hugging him?” Lando is pacing the floor of your living room as you stand there, helpless to say anything against his raging. 

It’s usually like this when he gets angry with you and you’ve gotten good at being quiet while he rages. You have to let him work out all the anger and eventually you know he’ll calm down and apologizes for losing his temper. You’ve seen this before and you know exactly what to do, how to humor the angry beast that has surfaced once again. 

“Lando, it wasn’t like that and you know it.” You fight to keep the exasperation out of your voice, knowing that would just set him off even more. “I was alone, my brothers were going in the opposite direction, and Max offered. That’s it! It was completely innocent.” Despite yourself, you try to reason with him.

“You should have just gone home with your brothers then instead of putting yourself in that position.” He snaps and you glare at him. 

“You would have rather me not slept here at home tonight than take an offer from a friend to walk me home? All because you didn’t follow through with what you said you’d do?” 

You know you’re pushing him and Lando doesn’t like to be pushed. Your conversation with Charles two weeks ago flickers through your mind. How you deserve better and it strikes you then that everyone but you can see it. Everyone around you, everyone that loves you can see how bad he is for you, how poorly he treats you and how much you’ve changed since you started dating him. 

You supposed that if you had changed for the better, maybe everyone who loved you wouldn’t have anything to say. Don’t people change for the people they love all the time? You were sure they did but you weren’t sure you liked the change you saw in yourself anymore. You couldn’t fight it, this change that felt like you were wearing shoes that were three sizes too small for your feet. Like you had outgrown yourself in a way that wasn’t okay and you somehow needed to find your way back to who you were before Lando. Before he broke you. 

“And avoid you causing social media chaos that I’m going to be dealing with for weeks now?” Lando sneers, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks down his nose at you. “Yeah, absolutely.” 

You laugh, cold and bitter, as you shake your head. “Thats real nice Lan, real nice.” 

“I’m just saying. Now the rumor mills are going to start up again. Whenever you’re at a race, people will be watching to see if you’re with Max again. Or maybe next time it’ll be Lewis. Or maybe you want to go a bit younger? Get a ‘friendly escort home’ from one of the rookies? I’m sure Franco would love to try his hand with you. My girlfriend, the paddock bunny being passed around.” 

The ache in your chest grows as he chooses his words carefully, barbed and sharp as glass, so they hit their intending target, cutting through you like butter and causing mortal damage.

“You don’t have to be so mean.” You whisper. “I’m sorry that the pictures hurt your feelings and were taken out of context but you don’t have to be so mean.” 

Tears threaten to spill and you will them to stop, knowing that will only fuel Lando’s fire. He loves when he upsets you like this, when he gets to tell you what a drama queen you are. Just like your brother, he would say, always whining and crying on the radio about how Carlos wasn’t being a team player and letting him win when he didn’t deserve it. 

“If I’m not the one to give you a reality check, then who will? Your entire family has coddled you for your entire life and you think you deserve some level of respect that you haven’t earned. If you deserved that kind of respect, you would have gone home with your brothers or walked home alone. People who deserve respect don’t put their relationships in jeopardy because they’re afraid to be alone at night.” 

“Put our relationship in jeopardy?” You laugh again, rolling your eyes at the audacity of what Lando is saying. “Lan, you really are being a bit over dramatic here, don’t you think? I’m sure the PR department at McLaren will take care of this by the next race, no big deal.” 

Lando laughs, dark and bitter as he takes a step towards you. You have to fight the urge not to flinch when he gets closer to you. Deep down, you know he’d never raise a hand to you but it’s hard to remember that when he gets in your face like this. “Now you expect McLaren to clean up your mess?” He hisses. “God, you really are a spoiled little girl, aren’t you?” 

“I’m just trying to find a solution to the problem that I seem to have caused.” You snap back, courage flaring in your chest as you stand up a little straighter. Max’s words from earlier play back in your head: ‘anyone with eyes can see who the problem is in your relationship’. “What if I come to the next race? If the two of us turn up in the paddock together, that will help quiet the rumors, don’t you think?” 

Lando narrows his eyes, “So you can get more attention from Max? Absolutely not. I’ll have McLaren handle this, okay? Just forget about it.” 

You want to scream at his solution because it was the same exact thing you had literally just suggested and been laughed at. But that was the way Lando was. If it wasn’t his idea, it was the worst thing you could have suggested. As long as it was his idea though, it was brilliant and the perfect solution to everything that was wrong. You should have anticipated this coming but you knew it was useless to fight with him. 

All at once, your body is overcome with this total wash of exhaustion. Total mental and physical exhaustion grips at your throat and you sway on your feet. “I’m going to go to bed.” You choke you. “In the guest room.” You tack on before turning on your heel and walking away from the fight like you do every time. Lando always gets the last word and as he stands there alone in the living room he feels like he’s won this one. He’ll have to call Sophie in the morning to get her to start working on damage control but for now? For now, he’s sure you realize your mistakes and you won’t put a toe out of line like that for a long time. 

Little does he know that all he’d done tonight was push you past your breaking point. 

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[celuere]

when our hearts intertwine

pt. 2 of tangled hearts

pairing: arlecchino x fem!harbinger reader

context: you can’t help but collide on a stressful day.

cw: one-sided hate sex, arle being a pathetic lesbian, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, arle orgasms while eating pussy what a looser, yearning lesbians, mutual pining omg im so sick, homophobic crucabena uhm, mentions of drug handling and sex work, sexual harassment for like one short paragraph

word count: 5.2k

wanted to give reader a certain character depth so i added a few flashbacks. also didnt‘t flesh reader‘s backstory out by a lot on purpose since i wanted to leave space for y’all’s self inserts or ocs lore mwuah

you hated harbinger discussions.

not because pierro thought it was an amazing idea to announce this meeting the same morning you woke up with a dreadful headache from last evening‘s… wine tasting.

but because you had to look at her face.

one would think she‘d return the gesture and blatantly ignore you, but no. her eyes slipped over to you at least once every few minutes. studying you with an unfulfilled desire burning in her crimson x‘s, it almost made you think she felt guilty. but for what?

there was nothing she should possibly feel guilty for. she just tossed you aside without further explanation and took a pretty thing back to her hotel yesterday. you knew. of course you did. the apologetic look on her face yesterday was all you needed.

and now she sat there in front of you. with the guts to look sorry. after ignoring your attempts to mend things, waving you off when you tried talking to her, it pissed you off. greatly. for all the same reasons that make her an outstanding diplomat of her majesty, she was unbelievable bad with her feelings. but you could handle her fairly well in the past. 

she couldn‘t find the words to talk to you after moments of shared vulnerability and intimacy? tracing her curse marks while resting her head on top her bare chest while you listened to the steady beat of her heart was also fine with you. she never outright confessed how deep her feelings for you actually went but you never minded it when she‘d sent you whole poems each day she wasn‘t near enough to bathe in the comfort of your presence.

but now the sight of her almost ticked you off. childe raised an eyebrow as he noticed your clenched jaw before his eyes wandered over to his colleague, raising an eyebrow at how her gaze seemingly pinned you to your chair.

arlecchino seemed to catch up to the ginger‘s lingering attention on her, raising an eyebrow herself as she stared him down. he knew exactly what that lookmeant.

„mind your own business.“

he just sank back into his chair with a sigh tickling the back of his throat.

„i didn’t know i was taking care of a bunch kindergarteners today, lady brighella. care to enlighten us as to why you seemingly want to stab lord arlecchino with your eyes? maybe if you look hard enough she‘ll manage a sneeze.“, the jesters raw, low tone bounced off the marmor walls of zapolyarny palace as he folded his hands in front of him.

perfect. the last thing you needed was your superior berating you in front of your colleagues like a 12 year old. 

„with all due respect, sir pierro, i have no idea what you’re talking about.“, you didn’t plan on humiliating yourself any further, so you avoided looking back into arlecchino‘s direction.

you missed the deathgrip in which she engulfed her glass of wine.

„seize it, brighella. spare me the theatrics, i already bestowed you with your part of the plan. you‘re dismissed.“, a gloved hand waved you off into the direction of the exit, the guards already starting to pull the big mahogany door open for your leave.

your mouth fell slightly open.

he did not just kick you out. 

for something she was responsible for.

„you‘re dismissing me because a certain person in this room can‘t seem deal with the consequences of her ow-”

„i‘m dismissing you because your recent attitude is irritating and nowhere near reasonable for someone your age and status. i won’t repeat myself“, now narrowing his eyes at you, pierro nodded his head into the direction of the widely opened door.

you were 100% sure a blood vessel just popped in your forehead by how hard you were biting down whatever insults rested on your tongue. 

making sure the feet of your chair were screeching loudly enough as you shoved yourself back from the table, you snatched up your stuff and rushed out of the conference room.

to hell with them.

„no need to follow her, lord arlecchino. you‘re still needed in this conversation.“

and to hell with her too.

„she looks miserable. i have never seen her like that. ever.“

„i don’t care, ajax.“

„don‘t you think you should at least try and talk to her? i get that you are angry, you have every right to that, but you can‘t keep on going out of your way to make her feel so bad instead of-”

„ajax, would it hurt you to shut up for once?“, tone so sharp it could cut through the icy heart of her majesty itself. you were so sick. so sick of your friend trying to play therapist. sure, ajax was despite his title as „the childe“ still a kind-hearted soul who wanted only the best for his comrades but after weeks and weeks of failed attempts to mingle into yours and arlecchino’s relationship… you wanted to strangle him now.

„i am merely trying to help. you know her better than i do, it couldn‘t possibly hurt to just… talk with her“, the ginger crossed his arms now and tilted his head. those blue eyes trying to read you. trying to pry into your thoughts and soul.

„get out, tartaglia.“

you could only make out the faint cussing beneath his breath as he slammed the door to your laboratory shut behind him.

a deafening silence filled the room, a soft comfort to your boiling blood. you allowed yourself to sink back into the cushions of your chair as you repeated his words over and over in your mind. 

„talk to her.“

what is there to talk about? you were never in a serious relationship. you rarely woke up next to her after another one of your nightly rendezvous. you never spent the mornings together with making breakfast. neither of you ever allowed yourselves to whisper those three words during moments of raw skin, needy kisses and shared vulnerability. sure, they lingered on your tongue. you could taste them. most of the time they tasted like bad alcohol, reminding you of how they were best kept to yourself, how you’d regret opening up your heart to her, just like you would regret a bad glass of wine.

will it ever stop? the sharp pain in your chest anytime your gaze wandered over to her? it was cruel. so cruel for her to have this kind of effect on you. it‘s not easy to sit though hour long meetings and discussions when she is sitting in the same room as you. breathing the same air as you. feeling those bloody x‘s resting on your face for longer than you would like. it caused your heart to swell and your chest to tighten. your thoughts suddenly growing to loud for your head, blending out the heated conversations occurring just a meter away from you as your breath grows heavy, lungs feeling suddenly so awfully small and tight. 

you almost lost it last night, when she led this strange lady over the dance floor. chuckling with her. eyeing her up and down like she used to do it with you when you were laying helpless and naked underneath her.

it almost knocked the air out of your lungs when she still had the nerve to lock eyes with you for the last time of the evening. a look full of despair and agony. screaming. screaming to you. for you. and all you could do was sit there. watch and try to delude yourself about the reasons why she would leave with this woman. alone.

you were in love with arlecchino peruere.

and there was nothing you could do about it.

„Peruere?“, the afternoon breeze gently brushed through the hearth‘s garden, a few loose hairstrands now hindering your view on the kneeling girl in front of you. she seemed to be focused on the little grasshopper that‘s been sitting in her palm for a while now.

„hm…?“, those unique pupils slowly averted their gaze up to you, but not before they lingered on the bandage that covered up the most recent addition to your collection of scars. 

„mother said i‘m getting adopted tomorrow.“

a gust of wind hit peruere right into the face, sending the small insect off her hand. the happy chirping of the birds that surrounded the estate just a few moments ago seized from existence as your words rung in her ears. echoing through her usual raging mind. but right now there was nothing but silence.

what was that feeling boiling up in her stomach?

„don‘t you have anything to say, peru…?“, you almost looked a little hurt, your tone growing nervous. shouldn‘t she be happy for these news? for you? at the chance of escaping this living hell where death was looming at every corner?

then why couldnt she help but feel… anxious at the thought of you leaving her and clervie behind? no more evenings spent together patching each other up. no more sneaking out of the safety of your beds to go gazing upon the stars. clervie would always give them funny names while you‘d give them meanings. 

all of that would disappear. be different. feel wrong without you.

„no… no i‘m glad for you… it‘s just…“, the white-haired girl seemed to struggle with finding the right words for you. she didn‘t want to offend you or make you feel like you should rather stay here in this slaughterhouse. 

a rare wave of unease washed over you at her loss for words. was she angry with you? even disappointed? but the way those crimson x‘s darted around the ground, as if she was searching for answers between the rainbow roses surrounding you told you something else.

you were just about to say something as peruere‘s blackened fingertips snaked around your hands, giving them an almost desperate squeeze as she rose up from her knees. and she was still a head smaller than you. but you bit that remark down. or rather it was quickly forgotten by the way your heart pounded in your chest. sending your blood racing through your veins.

mother always preached about how two girls looking at each other like this was wrong. sinful. but how could the warmth of your skin against hers feel so right? the way her eyes found your lips and then locked gaze with the shimmering color of yours. it didn‘t make any sense.

„peruere, wha-“

„i promise to find you again. to come looking for you with clervie at the first chance we earn.“

but fate had different plans for the three of you.

neither did she come looking for you. five years have passed and now you were both stuck in the harbinger ranks. it has been a week since peruere‘s arlecchino’s appointment as the knave and she didnt do more than nod into your direction on her first day. was it the pressure? clervie‘s and mother‘s blood sticking to her hands? a few weeks ago she was considered a teenager, now she is running the house of the hearth all by herself. a seventeen year old in charge of other children as traumatized and scarred as her. the only difference? arlecchino has always been a natural at masking her true feelings. the average fatui subordinate is already describing her as „cunning“, „cold“, „manipulative“. and it angered you. everything angered you recently.

you‘ve bore the title as „brighella“ for barely five months but compared to her, your workload has been easy. potions here, poisons there. interrogating traitor‘s or possible spies before eventually executing them after turning them into your own personal test subjects… you‘ve experienced worse. and still. 

you were farther away from her than ever before.

the stench of bitter opium and long forgotten dreams caused you to scratch the tip of your nose. your sense of smell is definitely going to be fucked up once you made it out of here. hopefully without having to wash the blood and innard off of your clothes from the man sitting before you. 

„lady brighella… i didn‘t expect a harbinger visiting my charming establishment today.“, reaching over to light up yet another cigarette, while his other hand rested on one of his… lady‘s behind, you ignored the other one taking care of whatever is going on between his legs.

pig.

if it weren‘t for the sake of pierro‘s plan you would have blown this place up to bits long ago. but you needed a sample of his opium before you can follow your own ambitions regarding this dirt hole. 

nod-krai has always been known for their suspicious activity regarding drugs, weapons, sex work and unethical researches. why the tsaritsa didn‘t order the organization to shut them down for good? you don‘t often find logical reasoning within your archons plans, didn‘t need to. that‘s not why she appointed you with your title.

„i‘ve come to maybe negotiate a deal between the two of us. it has come to our attention that you‘ve been tinkering with our trading routes lately in favor of your… totally legal business.“, the last three words were laced with an undertone only a diplomat could allow themselves in this part of snezhnaya. you could see his breathing stop for the shortest moment, pupils darting around the room before he gestured the various women to get off of him.

„speak. what is your deal with us.“, he thankfully zipped up his pants rather fast. you wanted to avoid a direct look into his crotch so you rather transferred your attention to the small spider webbing it‘s way down on your shoulder.

deciding to ignore his rather disrespectful tone, you spoke up, „deal is the wrong word… perhaps an ultimatum would fit the terms i‘m about to offer you much better. we‘ll so gratefully allow you to continue to run your… extraordinary establishment if you were so kind to hand us over around…“, fifty. you needed fifty milliliters, „eighty milliliters of your finest opium.“

his jaw ticked before he decided to stand up from the plushy red sofa. he did not like that.

„you fatui scum always think you can walk in here with your ridiculous terms and deals and expect us to bow down. the least they could do is send in a fucking man instead of a stuck-up bitch. 340k or your leaving empty handed, no matter how often you swing your fancy title around.“, he took a deep inhale of his cigarette before blowing out the smoke right into your face. you merely waved it off.

you should have taken capitano with you when he offered to accompany you. however, you never needed a man‘s help to get where you are today. you certainly don’t need it now.

„340k for eighty milliliters is anything but reasonable. you want to take a moment and rethink your decision, i assure you.“, usually you‘re not a fan of letting your strength speak unlike a certain orange-haired friend of yours, but despite the temperature of the room slowly beginning to drop- well… at least they should start to drop, but the frost on the window melted away as fast as it came. and when did it start becoming so warm? either way your attempt to direct this negotiation in your favor crumbled to dust. and directly attacking was something you wanted to avoid at all costs. words it were then.

„unreasonable, you say? does 100k and my dick down your throat sound better to you, sugar?“, a shiver ran down at the sound of his sultry voice cooing right into your ear, his disgustingly warm breath which reeked of a bad oral hygiene and rotting food almost forced your breakfast back up into your mouth. and he had the audacity to lay his filthy fucking hand on your ass.

„what do you think abo-“, a crisp snap bounced off of the walls before tuning out in a far away echo. the room was suddenly engulfed in darkness as the candles on top of the crystalline chandelier were stripped of their flames. 

„am i interrupting something?“

your blood ran cold at the sound of her voice filling the room before you blinked and stared up at a pair of bloody x‘s glowing amidst the darkness as arlecchino cleared her throat and the office was drowned once again in a dim light. 

and before you was standing the knave.

her fatui coat hanging loose around her shoulders and she made sure to make use of her sudden appearance when her eyes glided over to the bastard behind you. too bad you were missing the priceless look on his face. he was shitting himself senseless.

„l-lady arlecchino-! wh-what a pleasant surprise to welcome you here today-! if i had k-known about your visit i-i would have arranged according preparations for you-! can i offer you-“

„spare me the drama, monsieur laurenz and let go of my… colleague. it‘s in everyone’s best interest.“, not waiting for his reaction, she pulled you close to her side with a grip so… gentle despite her obvious cold, almost pissed off demeanor. 

you ignored how your heart tightened at this simple touch between the two of you. how on earth did she know you were here? and why is he seemingly shitting himself at the simple sight of her?

„o-oh, i was just about to wrap up a deal with lady brighella-! girls, hundred milliliters of our finest opium, pronto-!“, as soon as laurenz clapped his hands, the ladies were out and about hurrying into the back.

„ah, then i must have had something on my eyes when your hand was touching her inappropriately just a few moments ago, right?“, if looks were deadly he would already be bleeding out on the floor by now.

feeling like a damsel in distress that just got saved from her knight in shining armor, the feeling slowly but surely turned into something… bitter… sour. she made you look like a fool who can‘t wrap up a deal all by herself without things escalating and losing the upper hand. you almost ripped your wrist free of her grip. 

you cut the monsieur off as he was about to explain himself, „he was just about to hand me over a hundred milliliters for the cheap price of 50k mora.“

arlecchino cocked an eyebrow at the number you just named.

„50k? let‘s make it 10k along with an apology to lady brighella, right monsieur?“

„i- o-oh surely-! lady brighella, i am offering my sincerest apologies for my inappropriate behavior and remarks-!“, even when he bowed down to you, you could see the visible drops of sweat that formed on his bald head.

just what did that woman do to him that reduced this arrogant douchebag to nothing more than a stuttering idiot?

because it turned you on.

„it‘s whatever… but i appreciate your forthcomings a lot…“, your voice came out bitter, despite the perfect outcome. it made you look like you needed her. and you didn‘t. never. at least thats the lie you believed to be true.

when the workers finally came back carrying a wooden boy wrapped in a fancy golden ribbon, it was time for you get the hell out of here.

„monsieur, make sure the lady makes it out of here safely. i still have some personal business to take care of with you.“

„that won‘t be necessary, but thank you, arlecchino. i‘ll see myself out on my own.“

you noticed her clenched jaw almost immediately. your refusal didn‘t seem to sit well with her. good.

once back in your laboratory, you didn‘t waste any time and got to work on your researches. measuring around ten milliliters of the opium in one of your graduated cylinders as the bone marrow mixture boiled over the bunsen burner in the corner while you wrote down every single one of your observations. you still had to mix up some other stuff that‘s sitting neatly organized on the iron table in front of you. 

if it were a normal evening you would have gone to bed long ago.

but today was anything but an ordinary day. you couldn‘t stop thinking about the recent events in nod-krai. couldn‘t shake the feeling of your body growing hot and needy at the bare presence of arlecchino. and my god you hated it. you hated how your body betrayed you in every way when it came to her. you didn‘t want to feel this way towards her. didn‘t want this weakness in your profile any longer. being near her felt like offering a recovering alcoholic a glass of wine. 

your worries were consuming you to a point where you didn‘t notice the door to your laboratory opening and shutting again. softly.

„we need to talk. please…“

you didn‘t flinch at the sudden interruption. merely paused your movements for a brief second before continuing.

„go home, arle. there is nothing to talk about.“

„i am home.“

you set the erlenmeyer flask back down on the table before you dropped it on accident. or crushed it on purpose.

„no need to lie to yourself. not when it‘s just the two of us.“

„the least you could do is look me in the eyes instead of turning your back to me.“, you did not turn around. nor did you answer her. not because you didn‘t want to. but it‘s hard to form any words when your heart is almost jumping out of your chest. stupid, stupid heart.

for a good few seconds arlecchino kept quiet. it‘s like waiting for a storm to come.

„a simple thank you for my help back in nod-krai would have sufficed.“

now whipping your head around, the words spilled out faster from your mouth than you could have stopped them.

„thanking you for what? making me look like a stupid coward?! well, thank you, o holy knave for helping me make a fool out of myself! now get the fuck out of my lab.“, your words were dripping with anger. your heart now racing for completely different reasons as you tried stabbing her with your eyes.

but arlecchino was unmoved. if it weren‘t for the agonizing look in her face. 

„i did not make you look like a coward. you were in need of help. i happened to be the-“

„you made me look weak.“, your bare tone could have cut through the thickest steel with ease. 

„…we both know that‘s a blatant lie.“

„just like you lied to me when you promised to find me again. and now you‘re just tossing me aside-“

„stop it with the accusations, i did not-“

„you tossed me aside. you took someone else to bed and you‘ve been the reason for every single one of my problems in the past damned weeks and yet-“, you nearly didn‘t notice how your feet dragged you towards her, „you have the nerve to stand before me, berate me and act like you didn‘t rip my heart out, peruere!“, your voice cracked as you raised your voice at her. merely a few inches seperating the space between you and arle looked… besotted with you. her breath came out shaking as she eyed you down with a glimmer so gentle and lovingly in them that it caused you to take step back from her. 

„s-say something… fucking hell arle, say something…!“, the anger boiling beneath your skin slowly turning into something akin to embarrassment, causing your cheeks to slowly start flushing in a dark red.

„say… say it again…“, her words barely came out as a whisper.

„i-i beg your pardon…?“

„my name. say it again…“, a cursed hand suddenly grabbed after your wrist to pull you back closer to her. gentle. light enough for you to pull away if you pleased.

but you didn‘t.

„arle-“

„not that one…“, you could hear how trembled her breath came out when she slowly bent down to your face.

every signal inside your body screamed at you to pull away. to smack her across the face. to not let her red-painted lips touch your uncolored ones.

but your heart betrayed you once again.

„peruere…“

she was over you in an instant. lips coming crashing down on yours as she pushed you backwards until your ass met the edge of the table. tongue pushing its way into your mouth as her hands cupped your face so sickenly tender as if she was scared you‘d pull away if her grip dared to get too tight. she tasted so sweet. of love, desire and all the things you‘ve missed in the past weeks. she licked up the mixed spit covering your chin before plunging right back onto your lips. your moans getting mixed up in the crash of unspoken apologies and a love that never had the chance to fully start blooming.

she was quick to put you up on the table but not before carelessly shoving any obstacles out of her. a glass shattered on the floor. you didn‘t care when her fingers hooked underneath the hem of your pants.

„lift… kiss lift your hips for me…“, she moves the attention down to your neck as you oblige with a hum, now peppering desperate, wet kisses all over your skin down to your torso until the fabric has been removed just enough for your legs to shake them off. 

you could feel her smile against your sweaty skin before working up your shirt over your breasts that were covered in a plain white bra.

she still licked her lips at the sight.

„so beautiful…“, your stomach flared up at her longing gaze before a black hand went around your back to open up the hindrance on your chest, merely shoving it up to expose your already hardened nipples to her sight. she loved it. loved how bare you looked underneath her. how your body was already overheating and the stain on your panties she noticed earlier… it made it so easy for her to slip a hand in your panties. she never stopped clipping those two specific nails. thank celestia.

„the distance between us nearly killed me, doll.“, you moaned as her lips engulfed your nipple while two of her fingers slipped so easily inside of your wetness. you were already pulsating around her by the time her digits found your weak spot. you arched into her, fingers running through her silky hair as you gasped for each time she so effortlessly rubbed your inner walls to mush. 

your tit was long covered in her lipstick and spit by the time she switched sides. biting, nibbling and sucking at you, it just didn‘t seem to stop for her, or you.

when deciding she paid girls enough attention she moved back up to your face, lips hovering just a few millimeters above yours.

„ride my hand, pretty girl… c‘mon now, you can do that for me…“, with another devilish curl of her fingers you started moving your hips in sync with the movements of her hand. your moans bouncing off the tiled walls and right into her handsome face. she only smiled down at you.

„just like that… look at how tightly you‘re gripping my fingers…“, with another hit to your sensitive spot you creamed over her fingers, her name falling like a desperate prayer from your lips as you covered her in your arousal.

arle cooed, letting you ride it all out on her hand as you felt the weight fall off of your heart along with your climax. you were never aware how much you needed that. needed that from her. how much you needed peruere to shower you face in gentle kisses as her fingers leave your warmth before she made you watch as she licked your slick of her fingers. groaning at the taste of you. and she wanted needed more of that. but before she could sink down onto her knees before you, you stopped.

„d-do you really think you deserve that…?“

„e-excuse me…?“, her eyes darted down to your soaked slip and back up to your face. she felt like she was gonna burn from the inside out of she couldn‘t bury her tongue into you in the next seconds.

„do you… deserve to eat after what you‘ve done…?“.

you were talking about isabella.

„i… no… no, i don‘t…“, peruere almost looked ashamed at the memories she recalled. she hated herself for that night. and you knew it.

„was she better than-“

„no.“

„hm…“

arlecchino sighed as she leaned her face against your inner thigh, „please… believe me when i tell you this… she was nothing more than a distraction, she meant nothing to me- i promise i‘ll make it up to you however i can, just- please, [name]…“, she almost let a whimper slip when you sighed.

„th-then go ahead- Ah-!“, you didn‘t remember her being this face, tongue gathering your juices in her mouth as she eagerly swallowed. it almost made you think she starved herself of any nutrients the way her groans were swallowed by your soft flesh. she was eating. with her whole heart. your slick dripping from her chin down to her neck as a pair of two strong hands kept quivering legs pressed apart. were you always so sensitive? or why were you nearly screaming over her bare tongue? your lungs burning from the lack of oxygen, you just couldn‘t get enough of it in between all the moans and gasps leaving your mouth. praying to celestia that she left your pussy intact and functioning was the only option left for you. you don‘t interrupt someone mid feast.

you tugged at her hair when you came all the way over her tongue, soft sobs starting leave your mouth at the overwhelming sensation but she didn‘t stop. it was like she was stuck in her own world which consisted of only two things: her mouth and your cunt.

eating was starting to feel wrong. she devoured you. nose deeply nuzzled into your puffy clit while she made sure her tongue left you disoriented each time she fucked it right back into you.

bon appletea or whatever you used to say back at the hearth.

suddenly her movements slowed down as she just merely whimpered against you. you could feel her rapid breaths against your wetness when she pulled away from me. she was panting.

„did… d-did you just…“, you watched her slowly get back up from between your legs, her jacket stained in your fluids which… looked oddly good on her…

„yes. what about it.“, not a single ounce of shame visible in her face. unbelievable.

you sighed as she grabbed a few tissues from a package that‘s been resting on the table before she started cleaning her face and neck up. compared to you she still looked put together if it weren’t for the messed up hair and the pussy stains on her clothes.

„are you already done…?“

she paused. looking you down before she got to work on opening up her tie.

„of course not.“

you will have a talk with her about everything tomorrow.

[elodieunderglass]

I would like to know more about the common injuries that jockeys like Killie would experience, if/when you feel up to more jockey-posting.

Fictional character Killie (x, x) is an Irish-British jockey working in the UK. He’s in his thirties and races over the flat and jumps, which is slightly unusual, but not wildly so.

Most injuries are incurred by falls. Jump racing has more falls, but jockeys are allowed to be heavier; flat racing goes faster with lighter riders, and has generally worse falls.

Killie is quite short (about 4’10”) and muscular. He has an average amount of injuries - nothing spectacular, but he doesn’t get away with anything either.

References below the cut.

Killie’s injury map was inspired by Irish jump jockey Ruby Walsh’s injury maps. As a jump jockey with a long career, Ruby got injured a lot - and in the process had several horses die under him, making him a controversial and sometimes hated figure (the rider is always blamed personally for injuries to the horse, rather than the people who create the working conditions). Ruby is shown below being partially carried off the track with a fractured leg. Unlike in other sports where you might get some sympathy and maybe a penalty shot or a gold star, jockeys with broken limbs are expected to drag themselves off the track and die somewhere else are expected to project a ruthless attitude about injury.

(EDIT: this injury map isn’t counting Ruby’s concussions, which he described elsewhere as not counting. TERRIBLE.)

While researching jockey injuries online, news sites will constantly be refreshing with news of injuries. Yesterday (20 Jan 2025) Irish jockey Gearóid Harney was knocked out by a fall and was hospitalised, but seems to have escaped serious (permanent) injury. This is pretty much continuous.

Although overlooked by most people, jockeys are considered absolutely fascinating to sports medicine researchers, and there are TONS of primary sources to dive into. Here’s some to get started:

https://www.jsams.org/article/S1440-2440(20)30332-7/abstract

Of course, weight management, substance abuse and disordered eating are a constant source of background issues, underpinning everything from bad bone and dental health to the chronic fatigue, mental health problems and stress experienced by jockeys. Jockeys in the UK and Ireland also do not earn salaries, and are paid per ride; financial uncertainty and fear drive many of them to work while injured. The working conditions of jockeys and racehorses are inextricable and poor, and any analysis should have some class-consciousness about this!!

I don’t know exactly what dental injury Killie incurred in the image below, but it was enough to shock his nice American boyfriend (TM), so it was probably something to do with one of his dental bridges getting spectacularly destroyed.

Thank you so much for this ask I love my ghastly little guy

[oldfashionedbooklove]

I hate when people say Sherlock Holmes doesn’t care about anything but solving problems. This is not an essay on Sherlock Homes (although the temptation is immense!), but I honestly admire him as one of the best characters in all of literature—not only as a fictional character, but as a person. As a character, he is fantastic because he LIVES and has lived for over 130 years. Sherlock Holmes is a man who seldom shows his real self, having learned how to hide his emotions and thoughts partly out of policy (a detective can’t get bound up in every person he comes across), partly for professionalism, and partly because he is a rather reserved man and doesn’t trust easily (which trait was deepened by his work). However, Sherlock is no ice-cold, emotionless detective. He becomes immensely wrapped up in his business. He grows anxious, angry, eloquent, amused by turns. He plays well, but anyone who studies him will see humanity break through his façade. What passionates Sherlock is Justice. He has an intense desire to make sure everyone is having a fair chance and is not being victimized. Sherlock likes to play indifferent and purely analytical, but his whole career is built for others. Of course, Sherlock also works because it is his art, his passion, and this also fuels him. He enjoys pitting himself against difficulties and overcoming by his brain-power. He will take a case because it has “interesting points” and to match his wits against other men. But he also takes cases simply because the person requiring appeals to his kind heart, even if it’s an “elementary problem.” I think both forces are strong in Sherlock, and while he downplays the one and lifts up the other, Watson saw, and knew, and so did others—they felt he was a man of honour and kindness, and trusted him when everyone else was frightening. This character does not immediately show in this book. It is by reading the entire series that one sees it—and that one sees Watson’s real character too—that deep, trusting friendship and loyalty he gives Sherlock, the love that helped Sherlock ease up and mellow because of the implicit trust he could place in Watson.

Thinking about the Holmes story where a blind girl goes to him and is like "My fiancé is missing and he kept telling me the week leading up to his disappearance that he would always love me and come back for me,were anything to happen so I think he knew he was in trouble and I love him so much and I'm going to wait for him but I'd like to find him faster,ya know?" And Holmes figures out that it was this girl's parents to scam her out of money she was owed from an estate which she gave to them because she was still living at home,which she wouldn't be if she ever married,so her step father PRETENDED TO DATE HER for MONTHS to keep her from ever getting engaged to a real person and when Holmes finds out he confronts this man and this man is like "Well,you caught me! But it wasn't illegal:) so:)" and Holmes is like "No,but it was sickening and cruel and if she had a brother or good male friend he should post you up and whip you but she doesn't." And the man is like "No,she doesn't." And does the Victorian version of sticking his tongue out and Holmes is like "Well,I guess I'll do then!" And HE PULLS OUT HIS HUNTING WHIP.

[starrygazers]

cross my heart (hope to die)

˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ haiii :3 I only write like once a year but that won't stop me from yearning for these new characters. I love Amphoreus because I was a Greek myth nerd growing up and this new update tickles me in aaaall the right ways.

˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ tags : angst, established relationship, mentions of character death

˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ featuring : Mydei; minor spoilers for 3.0

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.�� .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Mydeimos, the Crown Prince, has no fears. He tossed away his humanity when he embraced immortality, the tool that he needed to trek on this god-slaying journey. There was no room for fear, not when he had to fight the Titan of Violence. A man such as this was not capable of human emotions; or so he thought.

"So," you hum in a sing-song tone, draping your arms around Mydei's shoulders. "When will you take me to that new restaurant in Marmoreal Market?"

Mydei huffs, but makes no effort to peel your touch off of him. He turns around to meet your eyes; you're so close to him. If it were any other person, they would have faced the wrath of the Undying Lion.

You detect no change in his expression, so you start pouting. "Mydei! You promised me you would."

Mydei shrugs. "Did I?"

You roll your eyes, finally letting go of him and sitting on the empty spot next to him. "Dying doesn't exempt you from the promises you make, you know?"

The Prince can't help but crack a smile at this; you're the only person that he can comfortably joke about his immortality with. With you, it doesn't seem like the big deal everyone makes it out to be. Not the heroic Chrysos Heir trait that Phainon envies him for, or the source of worry for Aglaea and Tribbie. It's just another part of him that you've accepted.

Because you accept all of him.

You cross your arms and look away from him, mumbling about how the restaurant's been open for a month and it's not new anymore so there won't be as many people and why do you always have to go on such long expeditions, but Mydei shushes you by taking a strand of your hair and tucking it behind your ear.

A whisper of apology.

"It's okay," you mumble, extending your pinky. "Just promise again, for this life."

"I'll make a thousand promises if that's what you want," he says, and it comes out rough, like he's doing it to get you off his back. But you know better, you know him better.

He raises his own pinky finger to entwine it with yours. "How does the saying go again?"

"You're so forgetful," you laugh, and it's the most melodious tune he knows.

"Cross my heart..."

Mydeimos knows that he must suffer a thousand deaths, and a thousand more. He's content with this destiny, because he knows he is not given the privilege to choose. He must lay down his god for the glory of what little humanity he has left within him. He will trade a thousand lives for peace, and he will enter a losing battle with only his faith in the infinite lives that he has.

Perhaps this is what made him forget how flimsy a life really is.

In his usual boredom, Phainon once riddled him. "How heavy do you think the world really is? Like, a thousand Dromas?"

Mydei's response, in typical fashion, was to huff and call Phainon's musings irrelevant. But now, he thinks he can answer that question.

The world is really light in his arms. The world is pale, cold, and losing a lot of blood.

"I'm sorry. Don't hate me," you manage to say before your last breath. Your voice is hoarse, but Mydei would beg Oronyx to loop it forever because he still thinks your voice is his lullaby.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He promised to take you to that restaurant, and many more. He vowed to bring peace to this world to one day crown you as his queen.

Mydeimos knows that he must suffer a thousand deaths, and a thousand more. But this was worse than death. For you, he would trade it all; his status as Crown Prince, his pride as the Undying Lion, his immortality.

A thousand life for yours.

"... and hope to die."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

yaaya it seems I can only write angst lol

©2025 starrygazers. do not repost, copy, translate, modify, or use for AI.

[avelera]

You may have talked about this before, but what's your opinion on Arcane!Machine Herald? Because I've seen him get a lot of hate because he diverges a lot from his original self-made cyborgy lore, but I personally LOVE him to bits. I was kinda worried because Arcane S1 already had lots of mechanical bodymods and an entire race of sentient robots so I was like "ok how is he supposed to be radical compared to that?" and then he engineered himself into a worldending cosmic horror being, i love him

I have no investment in League or its lore so Arcane Machine Herald doesn't have a strong emotional attachment to me one way or the other?

To me, the design emphasizes the magical aspect of the Hexcore taking over Viktor. The one complaint I do understand from League fans and somewhat share is that Viktor's Herald villain arc is a bit muddled with his S1 scientific motivations, to me.

The thing is, to me, Viktor is a scientist, and the Machine Herald and Commune leader stuff is a bit too mystical to me for the Viktor we knew. I have trouble reconciling how he pivoted to that if it was his own choice. That's why I tend to headcanon that the Hexcore was pretty active not just in persuading Viktor to become a Cult Leader, but also for the aesthetics and tone of the cult leader choice, leaning into mage imagery like robes and a staff.

Of course, that robs some agency from the character, which is overall less interesting, but I can't help but feel a true villain arc that was totally self-directed by Viktor would have been a bit more scientific, it would have been more him willfully replacing parts of himself to stay alive.

But as you noted too, that doesn't really work within Arcane, neither does that original Machine Herald motivation. We've got Bolbok on the Council who is basically a robot, we've got Sevika and the entire undercity with tons of metal body modifications. Viktor making it some sort of cause to replace humans with machine parts to cure their imperfections doesn't really work in Arcane as something that's an ideological stand or a philosophy of any kind. It's just day to day life. So from there, I understand leaning more into mysticism as his route for making people "perfect".

Perhaps my... hmm, not point of criticism but simply a personal story squick is that I don't like cults and I don't like the hippy sort of imagery they went for with Cult Leader Viktor, for me the whole vibe was very squicky throughout (which is why I was thoroughly baffled when people ever thought the cult was a good thing, I was silently screaming with discomfort the whole time) and a part of me really struggled to reconcile how S1 Viktor would ever choose to craft a place like this. Like I said, that's why I kind of had to go with the idea, for my own sake, that Viktor on his own wouldn't craft some weird hippy monastery where everyone just works and praises him all day, that this is an element of the Hexcore. That Real Viktor if he could control his own actions and was fully present (rather than half living on the astral plane) would also be horrified.

As for how this lends to the Machine Herald design *shrug* that's also a very "mystical" look to me, it follows from the more magical take on Herald, but it is artistically cool and very alien. Personally, I see it as simply the humanoid form of the Hexcore, its choice for what it will look like, and it's basically just using Viktor as a battery at that point to power itself in turn and to give itself a voice, Viktor is all but wholly subsumed, he didn't design that look, he has been the cocoon for the Hexcore growing inside him, and Ekko + Jayce + Anomaly Future Viktor are needed to rip it off of the real Viktor, who is immediately horrified by all that occurred and, to me, had very little agency throughout while being constantly fed the belief that he did have control. Honestly, I think Viktor was contending with an ancient seed of Void power using him as a vessel and he was hilariously outclassed by something far more ancient and powerful than him using him as an incubator for itself but, again, that's just one possible interpretation.

I know this got a bit off topic but yeah, I agree on some points about how the original Herald stuff just doesn't work in Arcane and the rest is sort of my more general feelings about the Herald and the Herald look.

[coffeebooksrain18]

Just saw this post and wow I'm disgusted.

So usually I don't do this type of thing as I find it weird but I wasn't gonna reblog this person because I'm someone doesn't want drama. Also for anyone wondering I have blocked them because I don't like their page and mostly because of this post.

So let's start!

Viserys didn't get "bad vibes" he was a neglectful father who forced these children onto his 14 year old wife and then left her. I don't want want here that he was king or that they weren't Aemma’s. Because firstly we know Viserys was there for Rhaenyra so obviously he can find time for his children he just chooses not to do so with the green children. Also the whole they weren't from Aemma argument is funny to me as in the book it is heavily implied Viserys was cheating on Aemma with Alicent (also implied she didn't want it) so obviously it isn't that they aren't from Aemma.

Next this sentence alone shows how TBs can't understand Aegons character. They hate Alicent for hitting him but then want him hit more? Make it make sense. Also yes Alicent hitting Aegon is awful. But you need to keep in mind each time she does she's in high stress situations and we see she wants to hurt Viserys instead. Ie Rhaenyra trying to betroth Helaena to Jace, Aemond losing his eye, Aegon raping a maid. I'm not excusing these actions as they are wrong, I'm only stating you need to see the whole picture before judging the painting.

I truly believe Luc shouldn't have taken Aemonds eye I don't care how scared he was it was cruel and uncalled for. I don't care if he was 6 he had enough time to notice Jace threw sand into Aemonds eye before slicing Aemonds face. Plus he didn't even try and aim for a arm or leg because he could've from where he was on the ground. He chose to stand up and slice Aemonds eye as he already couldn't see to defend himself and I will always say Luc is in the wrong and should have been punished for what he did.

I have made many posts about Helaena, in fact I made one today. But let's go over this again. Helaena had no reason to run to Rhaenyra. She had no reason to trust her nor did Rhaenyra have reason to trust Helaena. Helaena is MARRIED to Aegon, that is her Brother, her Husband, and the Father of her children. I don't care how you all think it was Helaena did the right thing. She chose the people who loved her and cared for her over a woman who in book bad mouthed her and ridiculed her and her siblings in front of all the court.

Now I am done with my rant have a nice day.

[feral-pixie-dream-possum]

I kind of like that Rook is the uninteresting fuck up of a character whose only talent seems to be to make all of these cool people incredibly horny for them. Even if they're not actually a fuck up. They have a talent, I'll get to it.

It just makes me sad that it's probably because the game gives you a lot of background options, so customizing the entire storyline for each of those options would have been a lot. Basically to give a strong story from each of those backgrounds they would have had to rewrite a lot and provide many more dialogue options. It's not just an issue with this. Veilguard in general suffers from having very few decisions that actually make a difference for the story.

Anyways. Even if the reason for it is bad, I like that we get companions with big stories and talents while our character is just one person among them. I hate playing a game where the player character is the only one with special powers and strong plot relevance. These people are gathered together because they're the name that came to mind when thinking "we need an expert on ____". Of course it's a company where anyone is going to feel like a bumbling idiot.

I like that Rook is the one who steps back and listens to the others. I like that they ask even the dumb questions. I don't feel like that's "on Rook's expense", that's not really how it works when talking to people. It's not about counting points for cool one liners.

Rook's talent is asking the questions. Their talent is that they're offering sympathy when the others have such poor people skills that they don't even think of comforting Rook. Even when Lucanis buys things for everyone else he forgets Rook. Because Rook is Rook, easy to overlook. Rook listens to the team and smooths out conflicts. They're the glue that holds this bunch of big personalities together. Without them it would be explosive temperaments and infighting.

I actually love that the game makes the player feel like they're not that important and that they're not as cool as the other characters and that they're almost invisible. Because we all know someone like that. Someone who we might not always think about but who keeps stuff running smoothly.

And in the end I don't think any of the companions could handle having Solas in their head. They would have said something to anger Solas and get him to shut up for good. We need poor old bumbling Rook who somehow gets Solas to kind of help them instead.

What’s really jumping out at me on my second playthrough is that the writers of the first three games understood that your character was the main character. The Veilguard writers clearly thought that the main characters were their characters, the companions.

Every scene is about setting the companions up as cool or competent or sympathetic. Often, this is done at Rook’s expense. The companions get all the witty one-liners; Rook’s attempts at humor not only frequently fall flat, but are frequently called out for falling flat (even when they’re completely automatic and the player has no say in them).

The companions have all the knowledge and skills; Rook just brought them all together and gives them all pep talks so they can focus. I’m trying to edit out all of the comments where Rook is like “Um… what????” from my videos, and let me tell you, it takes WORK. There are A LOT of them. I can count on one hand the number of times when the Inquisitor or Hawke comes across as dumb, but it seems to be a built-in, unavoidable part of Rook’s character. I have not selected a single “purple” option in all of Act 1, and Rook is still coming across as the kid who tries to be the class clown to cover for the fact that he’s always confused. Rook’s role in most scenes is to say “Uhhh… what?” so that the companions look smart.

Rook is always the one offering sympathy and never the one getting it. No one actually comes to comfort you after Varric’s death. No one asks you how you’re feeling about having to lead the team now that Varric is gone. No one tries to reassure you or give you advice for dealing with the trickster god haunting your dreams. We’re told that Neve could keep Solas out of your head, but she never actually offers to do this for you. No one comforts a Shadow Dragon Rook when Minrathous is destroyed or a Grey Warden Rook when Weisshaupt is destroyed. Rook’s problems don’t matter. Only the problems of main characters matter.

Rook is a secondary character in their own story.

[head---ache]

anytime someone says surgamy or blazamy are just the sapphic version of sonamy i just immediately know this person greatly misunderstands both Surge and Blaze. like????? a big point for both of these characters is that they're not Sonic??????

With Blaze, she's literally the opposite? Sonic is wild and free spirited and charismatic, and Blaze is sophisticated and uptight and closed off. She is not like Sonic at all what the hell!!!!!!!!!!! She even has trouble letting go and relaxing!!!!! How could you say she's just female Sonic when Sonic's whole thing is living free, letting whatever has to happen happen and going with the flow!!!!!!!! At this point just admit you don't know Blaze at all!!!!!!!

And SURGE??????? THE POINT IS THAT NO MATTER HOW MANY THINGS SHE HAS IN COMMON WITH SONIC, SHE'S NOT SONIC!!!!!!!!! She's wild but in a scary way! She's frenetic and unstoppable but not in the fun way Sonic is!!!! Because she's not Sonic!!!!! And she'll never be him and she hates him!!!!!!!! And she hates his ethics and she doesn't agree with him and the way he does things makes her MAD!!!!!!!!

STOP SAYING THESE LADIES ARE JUST FEMALE SONIC BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

[bellaxgiornata]

You Are My Sunshine [1]

Pairing: Jax Teller x Fem!Reader Word count: 5.3k [Series Masterlist] [Jax Teller Masterlist]

Summary: Recently released from a stint in Stockton Prison with a few of the Sons, Jax is still struggling with Tara returning to Chicago over a year after he killed Agent Kohn for her. When he returned to Charming, Jax noticed a coffee shop had sprung up across the street from Teller-Morrow Automotive and the clubhouse, oddly finding himself watching the strangely cheerful owner through the windows. One night he feels drawn to step inside, but he's left even more confused when the owner feels like the embodiment of sunshine itself. Jax quickly realizes that the more he visits her shop, the more at peace he finds himself.

Warnings/tags: 18+; sunshine!Reader/grumpy!Jax (somewhat), fluff, angst, friends to lovers, eventual smut, canon divergent, canon typical violence (more tags to possibly come)

a/n: Not everything will be true to canon in this little series, and this first part starts out in Jax's POV. I just couldn't resist the idea of Jax with someone so bright and bubbly bringing some happiness his way. As a note since I'm newer in the SoA fanfic scene, I always do my best to refrain from adding physical descriptions to Readers, but they are still some form of a character personality-wise. Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

Placing the cigarette between his lips, Jax flipped open his lighter and held the flame up to the tip of it. He was itching for something right now–a smoke, a drink, a fuck, a fight. He couldn’t quite tell the difference anymore. Everything felt the same–a neverending blur. The days had all begun to bleed together ever since he and the guys had been released from Stockton the other month. 

And everything felt the goddamn same as it did before he'd gone in.

Taking a drag on the cigarette, he pocketed the lighter and leant back against the brick of the clubhouse behind him. Laughter and blaring music was pouring out of the building, the noise always far too loud to be contained by the structure. The Sons were partying again tonight, celebrating a successful closure of a deal from earlier in the day. But for some reason Jax hadn’t felt like partying. The air in the clubhouse felt suffocating, which was why he’d stepped outside into the balmy summer night for a cigarette instead.

As a trail of smoke curled its way upwards from between his lips, Jax stared vacantly across the otherwise empty lot, his eyes landing on the line of motorcycles across from him. His mind inevitably wandered back to Tara while he smoked, something it often did ever since she’d reappeared in his life over a year ago just to disappear all over again. Running away. That's what she had always done best.

He hated that he couldn’t get her out of his head even after all this time. But what he hated even more was that part of him still felt like it was holding onto the ridiculous hope that she’d come back to him. That she might wake up one day and return to Charming and somehow just accept him for who he was, who he'd always been. But that was a fucking bullshit hope and he knew it.

Jax’s jaw clenched in irritation, his fingers tightening around his cigarette as he drew it back up to his lips for another sharp inhale. It was impossible not to think that Tara had used him just to get rid of Kohn knowing that he’d be sympathetic to her situation. Knowing damn well that Jax would never have just walked away when she came to him for help. And it pissed him off that she’d played him like that–that he had let her play him like that. Especially when he’d been so fucking vulnerable after Abel had been born with all of his health complications weighing on his mind. 

He had needed her in return, but Tara hadn’t cared about what Jax was going through. She hadn’t cared about the fact that until that moment, Jax had never killed like he'd killed that night  for her. Every time before had always been for the club–for self-defense, retaliation. But that night? That night it had been out of love. It had been because he'd been protecting someone he cared about. And Tara had thrown him away a second time right afterwards, not even bothering to think about how any of it had affected Jax.

Movement across the street caught Jax’s attention, breaking through his spiraling, agitated thoughts. His head turned as he stood in the dimly lit parking lot, pulling the cigarette away from his lips and blowing out a plume of smoke as his eyes landed on you across the street through the large glass windows of your coffee shop. 

Honest Coffee. You’d opened it at some point when he and a few of the Sons had been doing a few months in Stockton, but ever since he’d gotten out, he’d found his gaze drawn across the street to that building more times than he’d ever willingly care to admit. And he wasn’t entirely sure why, either. Jax was not the kind of guy you’d find sitting inside of a coffee shop sipping on some fancy ass, overly sweetened and overpriced bullshit cup of coffee. That wasn’t his thing. So of course he’d never actually ventured inside the shop that had opened up across the street from the clubhouse and Teller-Morrow Automotive.

But for some goddamn reason he couldn’t help but look.

The entire place stood out amongst the old, worn brick buildings beside it. You’d painted the exterior brick white and hung up some bold, black sign with the shop’s name on it above the entrance. There were even a few little tables and chairs on the sidewalk out front along with writing on one of the large glass windows that read ‘Support your local caffeine dealer.’ Which, for some goddamn reason, amused Jax to no end considering your shop was located across the street from actual arms dealers. 

And there were plants. Goddamn, the amount of plants. A few large potted ones sat outside by the front doors, and there were a handful hanging over all of the large open windows. And, from what Jax had been able to see when he’d ridden past the place multiple times, you had plants on the tables inside, too. So many fucking plants it was like you were making coffee in a damn jungle. He didn’t understand why you had so many or how the hell they always looked like they were thriving. He’d often heard Gemma even compliment the goddamn plants the few times she’d stopped over to get herself coffee.

But it wasn’t entirely the plants or what you’d done to the building to make it appear so warm and inviting in downtown Charming that had him constantly staring across the street. It was you, if he was being honest with himself. You were always working there. He’d already come to assume that you were more than just a barista and that you actually owned the coffee shop with how frequently you were there. And you were attractive, that wasn’t even remotely a question. But you were nothing like the women at the clubhouse, or Redwoody, or Diosa. Where most of the women he’d encountered in his life were all rough and hard edges, you always seemed so soft and sweet. Like a warmth just radiated off of you everytime you smiled. 

And you were always fucking smiling over there. Whenever Jax watched you through the windows, whether he was outside having a smoke with the guys or by himself, you were guaranteed to be standing somewhere in that shop talking to someone with a smile on your face. Despite the fact that he didn't understand how one damn person could smile so damn much in a day, he’d sometimes found himself wondering what it would be like to see that smile up close, to have it directed at himself. There was just something about it, even from this distance across the street, that made it look different from any other smile he felt like he’d been given in his life. Like it was real and not covering a hidden agenda. 

Jax took a final drag on his cigarette before tossing it to the ground beside his feet, crushing it out beneath his shoe. His eyes were still on you through those large glass windows as he did. It looked like you were closing up the shop for the day. You were alone inside, the entire place empty as you swept the floor with a broom. But it almost looked like you were dancing as you cleaned, your hips swaying as your lips moved. The corner of Jax’s lips twisted upwards faintly at the sight. Who the hell were you? You were cleaning in an empty shop in downtown Charming, all alone just after sunset, across the street from the disliked and notorious motorcycle club, and you were dancing as you swept?

Who the fuck looked so happy to be cleaning?

Without even thinking, Jax pushed off the wall of the clubhouse and let his feet carry him away from the party raging behind him. An incredulous look was etched across his usually hard features as he began to cross the empty street and make his way towards your coffee shop. Eventually he came to a stop just outside of the front door, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans as he watched the back of you for a minute through the windows. Unquestionably you were inside dancing and sweeping as you listened to–what Jax assumed as he stood just outside–stupid coffee shop music. An amused huff came out of him as he shook his head at the sight.

Not even bothering to check if your shop was closed on the hours listed on the door, Jax slipped a hand out of his pocket and pulled it open. No bell chimed to alert you of his presence, meaning you continued your cleaning and soft singing to yourself with your back facing him, completely unaware you had a customer. A smug smirk tugged at his lips as he sauntered further inside the shop, making his way over to the counter near the register before resting an arm against the white countertop. He leaned his weight against it, crossing his ankles as his head cocked to the side, his blue eyes fixed on you. 

Christ, you looked adorable. Not a thought he often had about women. Usually he went for the ones at the clubhouse barely dressed in much of anything who were always very eager to spend the night with him. Even a few of the girls at Diosa and the pornstars at Redwoody that had sometimes caught his eye would never have been called anything close to ‘adorable’ by Jax. But you just looked so goddamn sweet and you hadn’t even noticed him standing behind you staring.

Clearing his throat, Jax figured he should probably alert you to his presence. He didn’t want to scare you, which he had a feeling might happen if you turned around and spotted someone that looked like him just quietly watching you.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so damn happy sweeping a floor before,” Jax called out.

The way you startled at his voice, spinning around abruptly with a soft, surprised gasp while throwing a hand over your heart, had a pleased grin growing on Jax’s face. You looked so surprised with your wide eyes and parted lips. He almost wanted to laugh, but instead he bit his bottom lip and held the sound back. 

“Relax, darlin’. I’m not here to rob your coffee shop,” he teased.

Almost immediately your expression shifted, the look of surprise disappearing and being replaced with a friendly smile that lit up your entire face. The sight of it did something to Jax, taking him by surprise. Because it was nighttime, you were alone in your shop, and here Jax had stood unannounced behind you, and yet your reaction was to just smile at him like he was some old friend you’d been expecting to see?

A soft laugh fell from your lips as Jax watched you turn around towards him, leaning some of your weight against the broom handle in your hands while your eyes took in the sight of him. He noticed the way you'd briefly scanned his kutte, but that kind smile remained stretched across your pretty mouth when your gaze once more met his.

“I wasn't thinking you were going to, you just startled me,” you answered. “You're extremely quiet on your feet, you know.”

Jax chuckled at the comment, his grin growing a little more amused. If only you knew the half of it.

“I may have been told that a time or two,” he replied, his eyes still taking you in without a hint of subtlety.

“Well,” you began, a playful lilt to your tone, completely unbothered by his gaze, “you know what they say about strange men showing up unannounced after closing, don’t you?”

Completely thrown by the unexpected teasing question coming from someone who looked as sweet as you, Jax couldn’t fight back the small chuckle that managed to fall out of him. “No, darlin’, I don’t. What do they say?” he asked.

Your perceptive eyes, which were still lit from the warmth of your smile, watched the way Jax continued to lean so casually against the countertop. You didn't appear even remotely fazed by his presence here and he found that so incredibly odd. 

“That they want a coffee,” you answered matter-of-factly.

Jax raised a brow curiously at your response, your smile somehow widening even further on your lips. You were not what he'd expected–and he'd already expected you to be something sweet and nice. But it was almost like you were more than even just that. It felt like the goddamn sun was shining on him when you smiled at him, and he didn't know what to make of it. No one in Charming that was an outsider to the club was this kind and friendly to its members. Most of the town had a healthy fear and a good amount of disdain at this point for the Sons.

But not you, apparently.

“Thought you were closing?” Jax asked, shaking the thoughts from his mind as he eyed you curiously. 

You laughed lightly yet again, turning and resting the broom against the shop’s counter now. “Didn't stop you from sneaking in, friend.” You glanced over your shoulder at him, completely genuine in your question as you asked, “So, would you like a coffee?”

An amused noise of disbelief rumbled out of Jax. You spoke to him as if he was any other goddamn customer coming into your shop. He'd never been treated so normal before. 

“Guess if you're offering, sweetheart, then yes,” he finally answered. Jax moved over, lowering himself into one of the chairs at the small counter as he watched you make your way around it. “Though I can't say I'd normally be caught dead ordering anything from a coffee shop.”

Coming to a stop in front of him just on the other side of the counter, your head tilted curiously to the side as you studied him closely. Jax stiffened under the weight of your gaze. It almost felt like you were seeing right through him with the way your eyes ran over his face so carefully. As if you were really taking him in. He wondered what you saw when you looked at him, but then that damn sweet smile was plastered across your lips again before you were speaking.

“Then I'm honored to be the first. And,” you continued, the sound of your voice somehow temporarily soothing that constant burning rage inside of Jax, “I'll even make it on the house. Free of charge this time.”

Jax blinked back at you, stunned into silence for a moment. But then he shook his head, waving a hand at you. “Not gonna let you do that, darlin’. I can pay for a coffee.”

“Didn't say you couldn't, I'm just trying to spread some kindness. Looks you've had a rough day,” you replied, a softness in your voice that wasn't there a moment ago. But then the bright, playfulness was back as you pointed a finger at him. “You look like a regular coffee kind of guy. No creamer, bit of sugar. Am I right?” 

“I…yeah,” Jax answered, a little taken aback at how quickly you'd read him and how easily you spoke to him. “Yeah, I am.”

“There's sweetener on that counter behind you,” you said, gesturing at something behind Jax before you turned around.

He glanced briefly over his shoulder at what you’d pointed out before he focused back on you. Watching in silence, his eyes remained on the back of you as you started on his cup of coffee, but his brows soon furrowed as he watched you work. He'd never seen someone make coffee the way you were doing now. What in the hell were you doing?

“Don't you just...have a machine, sweetheart?” Jax asked slowly.

A soft laugh came from you as you worked, your back to him as you answered. “Pour over is better than drip. I promise.” Glancing over your shoulder, you smiled at him once more. “Just trust me.”

Still baffled and confused as to what in the hell you were doing, he couldn't help but to keep watching you in silence, completely confused as to how in the hell you were making him what should be just a simple cup of coffee. He really never had stepped foot into a coffee shop before–a big chain one or a locally owned place. He didn’t even know why he’d crossed the street and come over here in the first place, especially with the party going on at the clubhouse where he was supposed to be. 

Lost in his thoughts, Jax’s eyes inevitably dropped down to your ass, taking in the shape of it in your jeans. His head tilted appreciatively to the side as his attention focused on that instead of trying to understand the strange pull he'd felt to step inside your shop once and for all tonight. His tongue slipped out, running along the length of his bottom lip as he took in the unobstructed view before him. You filled your jeans out damn good.

“So you got a name, friend?” you asked, your voice breaking through his thoughts. “Or am I just supposed to keep calling you ‘friend’?”

Jax found himself mentally chastising himself at your interruption, his eyes moving back to yours as you turned around, leaning your back against the counter behind you. There was a sincere expression on your face, like you actually cared to know who he was, and that had him feeling guilty for the way he'd just been looking at you. You weren't like the girls he surrounded himself with, you were actually good. He shouldn't be eyeing you like that. There was no way in hell you'd ever be interested in a man like him, and you definitely didn't look like the one-and-done kind of girl.

“It's Jax,” he answered. “Jax Teller. You got a name, darlin’?”

A small smile curled the corners of his lips upwards when you gave him your name so easily. He had a feeling this was one of the rare times he wouldn't just immediately forget a woman's name after she'd given it to him. 

“You always this cheerful, darlin’?” he asked next, unable to resist the question that had been gradually growing in his mind the longer he sat here. “Or is this some professional, friendly barista persona that you throw on when you're here at work?”

Jax watched as you turned around to the back counter against the tiled wall again, picking up the strange glass container you'd just made the coffee in before pouring it into a to-go cup for him. You were quiet as you worked before turning around and crossing the space over to where Jax was sitting. Reaching a hand out, Jax accepted the coffee from yours, but when his rough fingers brushed against your soft ones, he felt the corners of his lips twitch.

“Owner,” you said softly, your hands resting on the countertop. “Not a barista. And it's not a persona I throw on for work, this is just me.”

Jax’s brows drew together at that as he got off his chair and made his way over to the counter by the entrance to add in some sweetener to the coffee. How the hell was anyone just that friendly and cheerful naturally? Without it being a front? But as he stirred his coffee, wandering back over to the counter and taking his seat again, he noticed that you looked sincere.

“How the hell are you this friendly to everyone?” he asked, sitting back down in the chair at the counter, his coffee momentarily forgotten.

“Because I like being nice,” you simply replied.

Jax made a face at that answer. Who the fuck liked being nice all of the time? That had to be bullshit. There had to be people you didn't like, people that you weren't quite so kind towards. People like him who definitely didn't deserve an ounce of kindness.

“Bullshit,” Jax argued, eyes narrowing at you in suspicion. “There's gotta be rude customers you aren't such a ray of sunshine towards, right? Bad people you don't want in here?”

He watched as your fingers lightly drummed against the countertop, your smile smaller but not gone from your lips. Almost like it was just a permanent fixture on your face.

“I believe everyone deserves some kindness,” you answered genuinely after a moment, holding Jax’s gaze. “Because you never know the weight of what someone is carrying on their shoulders. And sometimes, all someone needs is a kind word or a smile in their day.”

Jax just sat there in silence for a moment, staring at you like you'd just said the most absolutely ridiculous thing. And honestly, he felt like you had. You looked so naive and innocent standing there behind your counter full of those goddamn plants you appeared to love so much.

“You realize who I am, right?” 

The question had slipped out of Jax without much forethought, but he was curious now. Were you somehow that oblivious as to who your shop was across the street from? Was that why you were being so friendly to him?

“Yeah,” you answered with a nod, your eyes focusing behind Jax at the clubhouse through the window for a second before returning to him. “I've seen a lot of you with those…vests? Over there across the street.”

Jax couldn’t stop the chuckle that rumbled out of him. Vests. That was cute. Jesus, you really weren't part of his world at all, were you? You probably had no damn idea about the pistol in his “vest.”

“Kuttes, darlin’. They're called kuttes,” he told you as he drew his cup towards his mouth while he spoke. “They're a bit different and more important than just some vest.”

Jax took a sip of the hot coffee, entirely planning to continue his explanation about how wrong you were about the kuttes, but he was taken off guard by the drink. He hadn't expected it to taste as good as it did. He'd drank coffee before–a shitload of it most days because Jax was no stranger to sleepless nights even before Abel came into the picture–but this didn't taste like the acidic, burnt trash that he'd grown used to masking with sugar.

The sound of your delighted laugh drew his gaze back up to your face. A bright, amused smile was shining back at him. The sight momentarily had Jax forgetting about everything–the coffee, the kuttes, his anger at Tara, the clubhouse party he should be getting back to. All he could do was stare at you, taking in the sight of your smile and the way it felt like it had somehow warmed him more than that hot coffee ever could.

“Is it good?” you asked, gesturing your head towards the cup in his hand. “The coffee?”

Blinking a couple of times, Jax looked back down at the paper cup warming his hand, attempting to return to his senses. “Yeah,” he answered. Roughly clearing his throat, he snapped out of whatever it was that your smile had just done to him. “How the hell do you get your coffee to taste so damn good?”

A pleased smile spread its way across your face when Jax looked back at you. He liked the way a glimmer of something–pride, maybe–reflected back at him in your eyes.

“All about the roast and the extraction, Jax,” you replied. “Fresh, good quality beans that have just been ground make a world of difference. But I'm glad you like it. I've always said a great cup of coffee can help make a bad day better.”

Jax chuckled again, shaking off that weird sensation from a moment ago and drawing the cup up to his lips for another drink of the hot liquid. Goddamn, is this why people paid more instead of just making it their damn selves? Did it actually taste that much better from a coffee shop? 

“Maybe for some people,” Jax mused as he lowered the cup, his eyes fixed on you behind the counter. “But I don't think a cup of coffee is gonna do a damn thing to fix my problems, darlin’.”

Unfazed by his attitude, you simply shrugged a shoulder in response. “You never know, maybe you just haven't had the right cup of coffee yet.”

A smirk tugged at the corner of Jax's mouth. You were adorable. Naive, but adorable.

“I don't think coffee is the solution to anything other than how damn tired I am,” he disagreed.

Loud shouting from across the street caught both of your attention from the shop, the noise interrupting the conversation. Jax noticed the way your eyes darted to the window almost instantly before he sighed and looked over his shoulder behind him. A handful of the guys were outside drunk and having a smoke in the clubhouse lot, a few of the hangarounds clinging to them in their short shorts and crop tops. The sight of them out there was sobering. He knew he should get back to the clubhouse, especially now with how he was beginning to feel a little guilty that he'd interrupted you trying to close your shop.

Turning around in his chair, Jax entirely expected to see some sort of judgmental look on your face at the Sons and the croweaters across the street. It was how everyone outside of the club looked at them. But there was only a hint of genuine curiosity before your gaze shifted back to him in front of you. His brows furrowed faintly together at that, but he quickly pushed the growing questions away. It didn't matter. 

“I should get back over there,” Jax told you. “Make sure those shitheads don't cause too much trouble. And I should let you finish closing up.”

He rose from the chair at the counter, his lips straightening along his face as he got to his feet with his coffee in hand. For some reason, he found he didn't really want to go back over to the clubhouse, though. Whatever frustration he'd been feeling before he had walked over here tonight had somehow just vanished within the short time he'd spent sitting here talking to you. Something no amount of drinking, fucking, or riding his bike had even managed.

“You're right, it's well past close for me now,” you admitted, glancing at the clock on the wall behind yourself.

Another pang of guilt flooded Jax at your words. It was completely his fault that you were here so late now because he had stupidly walked in here for…he didn't even know what. Except that smile returned to your face again almost immediately, as if you weren't even upset that he had interrupted your night. 

“I'm curious about something, sweetheart,” Jax found himself saying, his eyes narrowing at you as he spoke. “Would you have kicked me out at some point tonight, or are you too nice for that, too?”

Another small, casual shrug came in response to the question. “Eventually, yes,” you answered. “I do need to eventually go home and sleep before coming back here tomorrow morning.” You paused, that look on your face like you were seeing straight through him briefly returning before you continued. “But you looked like you needed…something. Figured a coffee wouldn't hurt, at least.”

Jax stood there staring at you, just taking in what you had said and that warm, friendly smile. It didn't make sense–you didn't make sense. And he wasn't sure how he felt about the way you seemed to actually see him. It was unsettling.

“You're an odd one, sunshine,” he murmured. 

Almost instantly, a delighted laugh met Jax’s ears as he took another sip of his coffee. As he swallowed the drink down, his own lips couldn't keep from drawing themselves upwards at the sound. 

“Sunshine?” you asked, both of your brows raising back at him.

Bottom lip rolling between his teeth, Jax bit back the grin threatening to spread across his face as he nodded slowly. “Yeah. Sunshine,” he repeated. “Suits you. You're so goddamn friendly and nice.”

“Well that's a new one for me,” you told him.

There was something different about the smile on your face now, but Jax couldn't quite place what it was. He'd never had a woman smile at him like that before. Not even Tara.

The thought of Tara was like a kick to the chest, a jolt of pain shooting through Jax. His expression abruptly fell, aware that all the usual thoughts he'd had about her after she had left him a second time were going to come back and hit him hard the second he walked out of your shop. 

“Right. I should let you close,” he replied tersely. 

Giving you a nod in goodbye, Jax's mouth felt dry as he turned around towards the exit. A confusing mix of thoughts were swirling in his mind now.

“Goodnight, Jax,” you called out behind him.

The sweet, soft tone gave him pause as he rested one hand on the door handle. His blonde brows drew together, jaw clenching tight as that familiar rage and darkness inside of him felt like it was clawing its way up his chest, threatening to spill out of him in the form of some rude comment that would knock that friendly smile off your face. He didn't deserve you treating him like this. He was a terrible person. He knew he could prove it to you with just a few simple words, but before he could open his mouth, you spoke again.

“Feel free to stop in again sometime,” you told him. “You're welcome here anytime just like anyone else, Sons’ President or not.” A soft noise almost like a little laugh came next before you added on, “Preferably when I'm open, though.”

His body went rigid at that pleasant, melodic little laugh of yours. Slowly, Jax turned to look over his shoulder at you still standing behind the counter. You were indeed over there smiling, but the urge to be an asshole just to show you what kind of man he really was–that he shouldn't be treated like everyone else–disappeared almost immediately at the sight of it. How the hell did you keep doing that? Keep disarming him so easily with just a goddamn smile?

“I'll keep that in mind,” he muttered.

Without giving you a chance to say more, confused as to the weird effect you seemed to have on him, he pushed the door open and stepped back out into the summer evening. The noise from the clubhouse across the street carried its way to Jax’s ears as he began to make his way back over to where the Sons were smoking in the parking lot. He took another drink of his coffee as he went, his thoughts briefly straying to you and that entire strange encounter he'd just had.

There was just something about you that was so damn unfamiliar to Jax. You were all light and warmth, like the embodiment of sunshine itself. Nothing like anyone he'd ever met before in his life and it intrigued him as much as it bothered him. For weeks he had been watching you through your shop window wondering what it would be like to have you smile at him like he'd often seen you smile at all of your other customers, and now he knew. It felt like the summer sun finally rising to start the day after a long, dark night. And Jax found himself oddly craving more of your warmth, suddenly not giving a shit if he got burned in the process.

[nubiawrites]

chapter four

Pairing: Aaron Pierre x Black Original Character

Warnings: Slow burn. mentions of kissing, thigh riding, and dry humping. mentions of weed and alcohol. 18+

Summary: Aaron and Iriye toe the line of their connection at a celebration for Paradise Lost.

Notes: Y'all still strapped in. Cause I think y'all gonna hate me with this chapter. The ideas I have for the next chapter will be well worth it. Please reblog, like, or reply, as I love talking about stories and characters. Thank you for all the love so far.

MASTERLIST

It happened so fast, as Aaron would say, when the paparazzi and the press asked about his attachment to the project. Within three days of the first time he tasted whiskey on Iriye’s lips, the studio had sent to the trades that Lanoire Productions Paradise Lost was greenlit, Aaron smiling at the headshots of Tamara and Iriye, focusing on the latter more so. 

Seven days after feeling the weight of her straddling his lap as Iriye got herself off on his clothed length, the announcement that Aaron had been cast went out. He received many texts and calls from family and friends congratulating him on the role. But the one text he had been waiting on was from the woman who sounded so sexy grinding on his lap, nails digging into her neck and lips that were so soft. He was trying to be cool, but he was waiting for it. Two hours after the announcement, he saw her name pop up under his notifications, and he quickly read it, seeing she sent a screenshot of the article and the word congratulations.  

“Congratulations,” He muttered to himself. He didn't want to be rude, so he sent her the prayer hands emoji and a thank you. But the congratulations? It was going to haunt him for a bit.

Fourteen days after tasting the skin of Iriye’s neck, he finally saw Iriye in person. 

Aaron was focused, rerunning the scene with the actress with whom he was doing a chemistry test. Though he was filming on Lanterns, in the moments he had free time, pre-production for Paradise Lost was well on its way. 

Many execs were standing at Video Village, watching Aaron run through the lines with one of three actresses up for consideration for his romantic interest. They finished the scene, and Tamara came over, taking her headphones off her head. She began asking them to try it differently, but he zoned out as he saw Iriye chatting with Davis, the exec on the project. He probably wore rose-colored glasses, but he could tell she was happy. Anytime she was on the lot, she was. From the first time he saw her on the sound stage, taking it all in, he had to know why she was passionate.

Aaron watched as she shifted on her feet, heeled boots underneath a long denim skirt that hugged her curves nicely. The slit in her skirt peeked and showed her legs a little. She wore a graphic design shirt, and though it was simple, she looked all put together. Even if he could only think of how two weeks ago, she was falling apart in his lap from them grinding against each other through their clothes.

“So let's see how that feels?” Tamara stated. The actress, Samantha Ailey, with whom he was running his scene, nodded in agreement. “Aaron, that works?” Aaron nodded, taking in what she said and returning to the scene. He glanced over in Iriye’s direction again and saw her sit by Tamara, her peeking over at him for a second and their eyes meeting. A quick nod from her was all she gave as she returned to the video console.

Aaron turned back to Sam, noticing she was entering the space she had created for Nora, the romantic lead opposite Aaron’s Isaiah. Seeing another actor in their element, pushing and pulling in a scene, was why he was in the career. He loved the collaboration and the exploration you could do with a character. He was right at home when the scene began.

Every time Aaron read one of the words Iriye had crafted, sentences that ran together seamlessly, he was in awe. Since that night they kissed, he had reread the script, making notes and digging deeper into this character. And having fun doing so. Isaiah was quickly becoming one of his favorite characters to dive into.

“Cut!” Tamara said gently, one of the production assistants bringing over a water bottle for him and his scene partner. He thanked them, taking a sip before handing it back.

His scene partner tried to make small talk, and he indulged her, trying to stay present as he peeped over to Tamara and Iriye talking. Tamara nodded before Iriye began walking over to them.

“Hey Sam, how are you feeling?” Iriye checked in. 

“I’m doing good, Iriye. In great hands with Aaron here,” Sam said as she pointed toward him.

“Perfect,” Iriye said, turning her attention to Aaron finally. It felt like she hung the sun as her attention was on him. “So we want to try something different this time around,” 

Iriye explained the scene's underlying vibe to the two. Aaron listened, finding her perspective interesting, as he had a different idea of the scene. Iriye was just about to walk away when he stopped her.

“Yes, Aaron,” Iriye stated as she felt his hand on her arm stopping her.

“I get your reasoning behind the note, but I was wondering if we could discuss it more quickly,” Aaron asked. Iriye weighed her options momentarily before nodding, throwing her hand to Tamara. Their hand signals became apparent, and Tamara spoke to an executive.

“So, in the scene, Isaiah and Nora are weighing their options, their entanglement becoming more apparent and the attraction weighing on them. They know the repercussions, but they're drawn to each other,” Iriye explained.

“Hm. Kind of like us,” Aaron said, keeping his face neutral. Iriye narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Not like us,” Iriye shook her head.

“I said kind of like us,” Aaron replied. Iriye glared at him, and Aaron gave her a small smile.

“Focus,” Iriye breathed. “You guys are giving too much away in the scene. Pull it back. It should be a longing. A marathon. Not a sprint,” 

“I wanna see you again,” Aaron stated.

“You see me, Aaron,” 

“Not like this,” Aaron feigned concentration, but the look in his eyes was something more profound. Iriye tried to keep her cool for professionalism’s sake.

“Prove it. Get through this scene,” Iriye said before returning to video village. If Aaron could grin, he would be showing all his teeth, but Sam came back over, and they were asked if they were ready.

By the end of the scene, Aaron knew he did something right because Tamara clapped, rushing over as the camera test ended.

“We got it, folks. That’s a wrap,” Tamara said. The crew on the soundstage clapped. Aaron stepped aside so Sam could have the room and applause. 

Aaron was already searching for Iriye, seeing her clapping. He was about to walk her way, but an executive pulled her away, and he figured he would have to wait. As a production assistant handed him his water, Nelly came up, clapping her hands for him. 

“Hey big guy!” Nelly said, her loose waves framing her face. “Good job out there,”

“Thank you,” Aaron said, grateful for the woman. “But I owe it all to you, Tamara and Iriye,”

“If you say so,” Nelly said, brushing her shoulder off. “Okay, I have a request of you. And by request, more like a demand,”

Aaron let out a chuckle. As he looked down at the woman, who stood at five foot three, he could tell she was tall in personality.

“What do you need? Another birthday message,” Aaron joked. 

“No, but Auntie Devon thanks you, and you’re invited for dinner anytime you want,” Nelly pointed out. “I’m throwing a bit of a surprise celebration on Tamara’s rooftop for her and Iriye,” Aaron raised his eyebrow at the sentence. “Aaron, I may seem rich in heart and spirit, but I share a two-bedroom apartment with my roommate and her boyfriend,”

“I’m not hating, I swear,” Aaron raised his hands in defense. 

“Good. So you’ll come? It’ll be lowkey. Close friends and people we like only. I can even say cameras and no paparazzi for you,” Nelly joked. 

“No, we don’t have to do that,” Aaron shrugged. “I’ll be there,” Nelly clapped happily.

“Great. Bring something strong. And not just yourself,” Nelly stated before walking away.

Aaron shook his head before returning to his trailer so he could leave for the day.

Aaron stared at himself in his apartment mirror, brushing his waves before leaving the bathroom. He looked around his apartment, ensuring he had everything before grabbing the bottle of Whiskey that the liquor store clerk had suggested. He figured it would taste good on his lips and maybe Iriye’s if he got to kiss her again.

Aaron arrived at the apartment building in Culver City and parked his car in the garage, as Nelly had mentioned in her text message. He made his way up to the floor, knocking on the door. It quickly opened, and Nelly smiled, ushering him in. 

“Thanks for coming,” Nelly moved to take the bottle of whiskey from him. “Let me get you a drink,” She said, ushering him to the kitchen, where there was a counter littered with food and drinks.

A dark skin black woman with a curly bob set out plates, smiling as she saw Aaron.

“Tam and Iri should be here in thirty minutes top,” The woman said before leaning over to shake Aaron’s hand. “I’m Cece,”

“Tamara’s girlfriend, right?” Aaron asked, a big smile taking over the infamous Cece’s face.

“Yes. Nice to finally meet you,” Cece stated. “Your picture currently hangs in my home office, which has become Tam’s office. She says she doesn’t believe in bringing work home, and yet it happens,”

“My bad,” Aaron chuckled. Nelly offered to take his jacket, and he handed it to her before making himself a drink. “Anything I can help with?”

“Nothing really, but I appreciate it, and besides, this is your celebration too, as much as theirs,” Cece said. Aaron nodded as Nelly came back into the kitchen.

“Aaron, let me show you off to everyone,” Nelly said, pulling him along. Aaron followed her outside to the rooftop, where at least thirteen other people, different shades of black and brown, were hanging out. Aaron mingled, enjoying the conversations around him and chipping in when he could. It felt good to exist for a moment.

He was chatting with a cinematographer friend of Tamara’s, sharing the last film they watched with good lighting when Cece rushed outside. 

“They’re coming up. Look alive,” Cece said. Aaron moved to crouch somewhere, trying his best not to spill his half-sipped drink, but with his height, he sat on his ass to hide properly.

He listened for the footsteps after a few minutes.

“I better get girlfriend of the year. I drove across town for Cece’s favorite prerolls,” Tamara lamented. Aaron quickly heard Iriye’s laugh, and he smiled to himself.

“Surprise!” Cece called out, everyone joining in. Aaron stood up, a little of his drinking sloshing in the cup. 

Iriye covered her face momentarily, seeing a mix of her and Tamara’s close-knit friends when she put her hands down. Tamara playfully pushed her, looking across the little crowd and seeing Aaron standing amongst people. Her face warmed as she caught him holding his cup up before sipping.

“Babe,” Tamara said, going over to Cece and kissing her. Everyone hooted and hollering at the pair. 

“We just wanted to celebrate you two, the brains behind Lanoire,” Cece said, pulling Iriye in for a side hug and squeezing her side. “Nelly, get up here,”

Nelly headed for Aaron, pulling him through the crowd. “Don’t forget Aaron,” Nelly pulled Aaron beside Iriye before taking Tamara’s side. Iriye masked how aware she was of Aaron’s body close to hers.

Aaron stepped away a little to give the four of them the space, clapping along with everyone for them. Once things died down, Aaron stood off to the side and let them bask in their moment. Aaron was proud to be there, seeing Iriye’s smile as she enjoyed the spotlight.

Throughout the night, he tried to converse politely with others, but his eyes kept returning to Iriye. She had forgone her skirt and shirt for a denim dress, side peeking out from the sides having cutouts. But she still wore the boots from earlier, making her at least two more inches taller than she was. Whenever he tried getting closer to her, someone came up, or a song she loved popped on, watching her dance and sing the lyrics to the music blasting from the rooftop.

Aaron was about to get another drink when another song came on, the beat he enjoyed. 

Iriye rushed to the makeshift dance floor, hips swinging as she felt loose. All week had been something as she and Tamara prepared for the chemistry test. But from what the execs heard afterward, they all loved it. She felt she could breathe, her mind focusing on the man who had been a part of it all: Aaron.

Iriye saw him holding the wall, bouncing his head to it. If it hadn’t been for the shot Nelly gave her and the drink she mixed up, she wouldn’t have kept her eye on him as she danced. And Aaron was meeting her gaze; the two engaged in a stare-off as Iriye rolled her hips in a circle.

“Fuck it,” Aaron said to himself. He downed the rest of his drink before going over to her, two-stepping to the music. The group dancing around her whooped and hollered as Aaron joined. 

Iriye felt too good, watching Aaron enter her space as they moved together. The music was good, and so were the vibes. She caught his eyes, bright and full of energy. Iriye got closer, dancing with him, feeling like they were just the two on the dance floor. 

I need you so much, it scares me 

Hooked on you clearly 

No matter what I do boy, I'm fucked

Kelly Rowland sang from the speakers, and Iriye saw how Aaron matched her energy. She chuckled as she spun in a circle, playfully throwing it back. She saw the light stutter in Aaron’s dance moves and rolled her eyes.

“Can’t keep up,” Iriye taunted with a smirk. Aaron raised an eyebrow at her.

“You play too much,” Aaron threw back.

Aaron reached out for her hand, and he spun her in a circle, her dancing to the beat of the music before moving closer to him, them both moving in sync.

The song ended, and Iriye took a moment to catch her breath as the crowd dispersed around them, smiling at Aaron as she pulled away from him. “I’m getting a drink,” Iriye said, a mischievous sparkle in her eye as she looked at him. 

“I think I need one, too,” Aaron said. Iriye headed back into the apartment, Aaron following right behind her. Luckily, the guise of being thirsty didn’t bring too much attention to them as they were alone in the kitchen. 

Iriye grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge, handing one to Aaron.

“Here you go,” Iriye opened hers, watching him as he uncapped his. She took a sip of hers and swallowed it down, her eyes catching the sight of the tattoo peeking out the left sleeve of his shirt. “Nice tattoo,”

Aaron grinned when she peeped at it, seeing the ape on his bicep. “It’s Sonny,” He moved closer, lifting his sleeve to show her. Iriye looked at the tattoo, letting her fingers trace over the skin. He smiled as her fingers were soft against the skin.

“I always wanted a tattoo,” Iriye admitted. “But I don't think I’m patient enough to sit that long and let them stick me with a needle over and over again. But I can appreciate it on others,” She trailed her nails against it, and he groaned a little.

“I get it, but good things come to those who wait,” Aaron replied, taking another sip of his water. “I mean, look at you.”

“Are you talking about the other night?” Iriye said softly. 

“Yes, I am,” Aaron stated. “I can’t stop thinking about it,”

“What part?” She looked at him through her eyelashes.

“When you were on top of me. Quite the image burned into my brain,”

“Me too…” Iriye looked towards the balcony, wondering if anyone could see them.

“Look at me,” Aaron stated. “I’m not trying to be disrespectful of your space. I know I left last time afterward because I didn’t want to overwhelm you. But I want to take whatever this is at your pace. Whatever this is,” He moved his hand to trace up her arm.

“What if I don’t know what is going on between us? Because whenever we’re alone, and there’s alcohol involved, we are too busy kissing each other,” Iriye pointed out. 

“Not right now, though,” Aaron raised an eyebrow at her.

“But I want to kiss you. Since today. Since the last time I kissed you,” Iriye admitted. “Maybe even before that,”

Aaron was about to say something when they heard the door to the balcony open, and he moved beside her. They both watched as one of Iriye’s friends rushed to the bathroom. She chuckled before turning to him, her brown eyes peering up at his.

“Did you drive here?” Iriye asked. Aaron nodded. “Do you think you can drive us to your place?” Aaron straightened up more.

“Yeah, yeah, I can,” Aaron grinned.

“Okay. Just give me an hour. I’ll leave, and then five minutes later, you call it a night,” Iriye planned. “I’ll wait for you downstairs,”

“You are full of surprises,” Aaron smirked. 

“We’re two adults consenting to whatever this is,” Iriye stated. She took another sip of her water before heading back to the balcony.

Aaron tried his best not to check his watch too much while mingling with the others, but his eyes sought out Iriye. He found that she was acting wholly unfazed or maybe just good at hiding it. 

As the time ticked away, it was getting harder to focus, especially as he watched her legs in the boots she wore, how he would love to trail his hands up from her boots to her thighs to see how they felt. He wondered how they would look on his shoulders as he did the things he had daydreamed about with her.

He was broken out of his thoughts as he realized Iriye was doing her rounds. He was supposed to listen and wait a few minutes, but based on how she looked, he knew he should have been patient. He was growing impatient. He walked over to Cece and Tamara, who were hugging Iriye. 

“Cece, thank you for the hospitality. I had fun,” Aaron said. Cece moved to hug him, and he saw Iriye’s eyes looking at him. 

“Anytime,” Cece said. Tamara moved to hug him as well. 

“I get it. You’re like a big teddy bear,” Tamara stated as she hugged him.

“Someone smoked a little too much,” Iriye shook her head at her friend.

“I earned it. We earned it,” Tamara stated. 

“You’re not gonna walk out alone, are you?” Cece asked. “Aaron, do you mind walking her out on your way,”

“Not at all,” Aaron nodded, looking at Iriye. Iriye smiled politely before moving to hug them again. 

“Have a good night,” Cece said. Iriye and Aaron walked out of the apartment, Aaron watching her from behind as she went to the elevator.

“I thought we had a plan,” Iriye pressed the button on the elevator. 

“I thought I would hasten the plan,” Aaron shrugged. Iriye shook her head, and then the elevator opened. Aaron let her go in first before following. She pressed the garage button and moved close to Aaron to kiss him…

The door stopped closing due to a hand, and Iriye and Aaron moved apart as quickly as possible. But Nelly was quicker. 

“Your jacket,” Nelly said, her eyes looking between the two. Iriye just stayed on her side of the elevator. Aaron smiled charmingly at Nelly before pushing the elevator door back to grab his jacket. 

“Thanks, Nelly,” Aaron said, hugging her. Iriye moved to hug her next, Nelly chuckling.

“Night, Nelly,” Iriye said as Aaron held the elevator door for them. Nelly stepped back out of the way. Aaron let the elevator doors move as she heard.

“Don’t hurt him, Iriye,” Nelly teased. And the charming smile left Aaron’s face and turned into shock as Iriye chuckled. 

“How did she?” Aaron was shocked. 

“The mirrors,” Iriye tapped the mirror behind them in the elevator. Iriye laid her head back against the mirror. She chuckled as Aaron leaned close to her ear. 

“In any other situation with you, I would be thankful for a mirror,” Aaron said lowly, Iriye's laughter seizing. Oh, she was in for it. AN: Hey... so how we doing after this? @bluewatersfairy @coquitobby @honeysilkandcinnamon @insaneevanity @meleekabenjamin @theogbadbitch @slowlysteadycoffee @ashanti-notthesinger @thisbeautifullifeofmeandyou @mysticalbiscuitalien3 @irishmanwhore @alonahh @grooveoftiro @gabriellalover @ovohanna24 @ticalsstallion @strawberrymoon45 @hi888888sworld @msuncensered @yurfavdealer @honeys-archives @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @theunsweetenedtruth @blackpinup22 @niggaronnn @aritannahrocks1300 @htnqueen305 @333symone @appelle-moi-si-tu-te-perds-numb6 @bombshellbre95 @wildwomanalereyia @teenage-aria @skvrpion @absentmindeddreamer @blackpinup22 @liv10002 @styleismyaddiction @jungwonsgfs @hooliemooliedonutshawp @hippiesandpeacesigns @blowmymbackout @justagirlwho-believes13 @caribbeangyalsworld @melovedorks @moihasarrived @ashanti-notthesinger @xx-mintyxx @iluvchrisbrown @ash-ketchumzzz @deijalee @pyramidlight @xosharieee @kaylaahisthebestest- @chaniceandrea @kimmivlixx @saveadanc @kaylalb @queenbritbrat @kceeee @naughtynolly-blog @myawesome56 @chainingxday @nononoks-blog @kinginwithbreezy-blog @apple123cg @jazziejax @lauren1000000 @withoutmusiclifewouldbflat @venusincleo @loveschrisbrown20 @brwnskingirlll @iamfredtina @cozyashhh @modelmemoirs @kimiasinterlude @rpayn22 @mscarter123 @lolola22267 @thesweetestdrug @valarghoulis @nyifly22 @zimsilandela @teheeboo @blveeeeeee @5starsirl @yassbishimvintage @23jammy @prettiegal @vadeadiugularis @gabbywontlose @pinkkycherrish @slashervalley @aqueenwasmadehere @lee-jennie @wuzzzgoood

@bae1305 @fakxmbj @n3utral98 @truilyglori @whore-for-loki @wrecklessabandonment @secretlifeoofmarpessa @purpletigerpanda @invertedempress @disc0fairy @barbiezolanski @thisbeautifullifeofmeandyou @jaszys-fantasy @poshprincess88 @bigestyoutoo @sugarcookie-23 @hxneyclouds @notapradagurl7 @honeys-archives @goldenjasssy @oscarisaaclovebot

[deliajackson]

Basically, Percy has anger issues, no surprise there. And he completely lacks in open communication, what is also... Not a surprise either.

I mean, who is Percy going to open up with? Sally? The one person Percy is self conscious? The only person Percy believes that he is a trouble for her for failing school repeatedly - even if it is not his fault? Who had to sacrifice part of her life to keep him safe? For some reason I can't see that happening.

Gabe? No way.

Grover? They met when everything started, and besides the emphatic link they actually never have a heart to heart talk later on the story.

Poseidon? They met what? Once a year? And I really doubt Percy would feel comfortable talking with his father about his mental health.

He also never open up about his problems with Annabeth, so big surprise, Annabeth doesn't know half of the shit it comes in his head. I bet she doesn't know about his passively suicidal tendencies either. And let me tell you, not having an open communication with your partner can lead to many problems in a relationship. That one is on Percy, not on Annie.

I would agree with you that there is only one thing that bothers me in Percy, and mostly that is Riordans fault. He is a veteran from two wars. He is chronically depressed. He tried to commit suicide.

And ok? What do we do with that? When is that discussed and really put an effort to solve and give the right importance? Apparently for Rick, never.

Considering that this is a book for children, this narrative choice always pisses me off. Because what are you teaching children when your overpowered MC loved by everyone who is chronically depressed, had a scene where he admmited he tried to unalive himself passively never asks for help later on? Like? Never? The only time it was with Jason and Jason was like "that is hard, bro." And it is never aborded in any other instance? What are you telling them, Rick?????

Another thing that goes is... He doesnt change much from one book to the other. He is still "the same old percy". What doesn't make much sense after everything he has been through. He became bolder, more audacious. Yes. But still the same, nonethless. It is not like Lester/Apollo that we can see him changing in each book of ToA. He starts like one character and ends another one.

That is the reason why I believe many people were surprised in cotg with his sudden bitterness and lack of humor. And that happens because Rick didnt work on that from the very beggining. So it is chocking for the audience, even if it makes sense.

Again that is more Rick' fault than Percy per-se. And I will always stand that Percy deserved a better writer. Especially after the bomb that was wotg.

Respectfully, did Percy Jackson even have any character development throughout the original series?

He doesn't have any flaws. He chose to take the prophecy from Nico, but he was always going to be the prophecy child.

He's good at the start and good at the end with no development unless you count being traumatised and depressed from a war as development, which it's not.

Not trying to be rude, sorry if I seem rude.

Worry not. It's a perfectly reasonable question and should usually be applied to most character studies. Also, buckle up. This is going to be long. Very long. It took me a while to get the time to post this and even more time to actually get my thoughts together. Like a lot of time. (To anyone who doesn't want to read the horrid mess of a post this is there's a partition at the end, after which all the most important points are summarized. ) Just skip to that, but hopefully, someone reads this whole thing because it took me eons to write.

I can see why you think that way, and it is contributed more so by Rick's absolute incapability of not recycling the dead horse that is the original pjo dynamics. He has inhibited character growth from almost every single character where all their epiphanies and character change in the end amounts to nothing, and they regress back to how they used to be, and any and all deviations their personality had are either dismissed or suppressed.

Percy is the victim of the latter. In the first book, he was a child, not particularly concerned with saving the world or being a halfblood. His life had been worse enough, and the halfblood situation had made it abysmal. Percy was living goal by goal. He wanted to get through the field trip, then through the semester, then through the Gabe interactions all so he could finally see his Mom, the one good thing about his life. Then that upends completely, and his only reprieve, the trip to Montauk, his safe place becomes the start of a series of grand tragedies in his life.

Sure, he stayed at the Camp, not willingly but for safety. He had nowhere to go, his life had been turned upside down, his mother was dead, and he wanted to go home, to have his mother back. He couldn't have cared less about the Gods and the world ending, but as soon as Chiron mentions Underworld, Percy is back on solid ground. He has a goal again. Get Sally back. He does everything to reach that goal. He fights monsters, prays to a godly father he refused to acknowledge beforehand, manipulate the press and the Gabe situation, bargain with immortal deities and such, and negotiate his way out of most of those bargains. All the while keeping in mind that he has a traitor to deal with, but Percy is the definition of "deal with one thing at a time. If it's not an immediate concern, it can wait." He does all that and is rewarded for it by being able to live, getting his mother back, and a taste of the life he has doomed himself to, and he almost seems to accept it. He even wonders if Camp Half Blood could be his home.

We see Percy do this throughout all the books. He is constantly changing his intentions, his goals, and his opinions on everything. He is also caught in his internal conflict of being with or against the Gods. The thing is, Percy has very little time for reflection as he is jumping from one existential threat to another, and yet he still manages to grow in the small ways. You need to see it individually book wise rather than over the whole series as Rick messes up terribly with character arcs and developments of literally every other character.

He begins by not caring about Poseidon's existence or his proximity, but in the end, he, too, is beholden to the intrinsic need of having a father. He, too, wants Poseidon to care for him like a father and is therefore hurt by being called a mistake. He knows Poseidon claimed him as a weapon against Zeus so he could rectify someone else's mistakes and restore Poseidon's reputation; who if not Percy would understand this manipulation the best? But the best lies are the ones you want to believe in, and so Percy keeps his silence because, of course, he wants to believe his father genuinely cares for him and loves him. Who doesn't?

He didn't want to be the hero, but by the end of the first book, when he is called one, he doesn't dislike the feeling. He accepts if only a little that this is to be his life now, and as the series progresses, he adds to the pros and cons.

In the Sea of Monsters he is very happy that Gabe is gone and it's just him and his mother again but by the end of it he has gained a new family member in Tyson and is very happy of the fact. He even manages to get over his initial hostility of Clarisse somewhat when he understands her situation.

Titan's Curse is all about Percy learning about the number of forces at play in the world of demigods. He tries to get along with the Hunters and Thalia; it doesn't work. He ends up almost losing Annabeth, someone who he considers a close friend by now. And so we see Percy spiral a little, show more of his anger issues as he interacts with Thalia or even Young Nico just after Annabeth falls from the cliff. Angry and impatient, he goes on his own quest.

I know most readers remember it as Percy, Annabeth, and Grover or the main cast always working together, but it's almost never like that. Somewhere along the way, Percy always ends up doing his own thing, which works because he best works on improvisations. It's Percy's plans that always end up working the most more so than Annabeth's. Just putting it out there.

Then it's just Percy having the worst month of his life. Annabeth is in mortal danger. No one seems to be hearing his opinions between Thalia and the Hunters. Then Bianca dies and Percy because he is Percy is completely and utterly guilty over it.

Note that Percy says he will do his best to keep Biancs safe and not outright promise to keep Bianca safe. But his non-existent self-esteem and other factors withstanding he blamed himself for it completely. Then Zoe dies, and Percy has lost yet another person he thought he needed to keep safe.

Percy is angry at the gods, but he is not surprised by their actions. But he is Percy, and he is determined to change the ways of Olympus, so he pressures the Council and his father to keep the Ophiptaurus, the very creature that threatens to topple their rule. It's his small was of rebelling, and Percy is always rebelling against the gods in his own way, almost never playing into their hands because as much as he despises Luke, he agrees with Luke too and unless he finds a better way to deal with the situation than what Luke is employing he too would have to one day follow in Luke's footsteps.

Now Percy, who trusts Chiron, even thinks of him as a secondary father figure realizes that Chiron for all his compassion for mortals and demigods will always in the end do the bidding of the Gods'. So he makes the snap decision to hide Nico's parentage from Chiron and from everyone else because Percy realizes no matter how much he loves or cares for certain people in his life, they are beholden to answer to a higher power he cannot gainsay, so he will have to take some secrets to the grave. He learns that in the end, some things he needs to shoulder himself.

And of course, the guilt of Bianca's death is no lesser, so he does the only thing he thinks can give him some relief from it. He takes the prophecy for himself, saving Nico and hoping it's enough to alleviate himself of this bile inducing sensation in his gut called guilt that is swallowing him whole.

Now, the Battle of Labyrinth is the most crucial. This is the book with maximum stress on Percy from all ends. From Sally dating Paul and Percy having to prove he is worth Paul's confidence in him in Goode, from Annabeth who is quite literally snippy and passive aggressive through the whole book either due to Rachel or due to her own prophecy even though Rachel and Percy are the two people who got them all out. Then there's the Nico situation. He knows Nico is spiraling, which is making Percy spiral and further strengthening his own guilt. And on top of all this, the Luke situation. Percy is literally caught between an enclosed space, with all four sides closing in on him rapidly while he is fending off mortal danger.

All this repressed tension is fully let loose when he explodes Mt. Helen's. And this is the tipping point. Percy wants to take the choice of Calypso's Island if only briefly and not because he loves her or anything of the sort but because it's his one escape. From everything from his own doomed prophecy. Yet again, Percy is trapped by his own fatal flaw. Personal Loyalty. So he chooses to carry out his responsibility because he has given himself no other choice.

If that wasn't enough of self-realization, he is faced with the horrifying realization of the devastation his power has wrought. His loss of control has single handedly released the greatest threat to Olympus. Hephaestus tells Percy he doesn't know the limits of his own, and by the gods, does that terrify Percy. Up until now, Percy knew his powers were dangerous, but now he knows that he is also dangerous; that he is the real danger. And it's not a reality he wants to ever confront, so he coils his power and holds it tight in a leash. (It's why Percy's burts of power always begin with an unraveling sensation in his gut or something breaking inside himself)

He is somewhat soothed by Poseidon's reassurance because not only does Poseidon not blame him, he also solidifies Percy's faith that he is doing the right thing. And if Poseidon sprinkles in the fact that Percy is the favorite child then who is he to deny himself the comfort of such sweet lies because, of course, Percy thinks it's a lie and of course Percy basks in it. He knows better than to trust gods, he knows better than to trust even his own allies because at the times like this, they will do and say anything to appease him, after all the fate of Olympus depends on him, does it not? And neither the Gods nor the demigods will risk a falling out with him at times like this.

He asks his father if he can help but is denied because he is needed here. Then he does his job as told, and Charlie dies. It's on him. He is struck with twice as much guilt. Over Beckendorf, and then over the state of Atlantis. He asks again if he can help his father and is denied again yet scorned by his father's family, for he can't even help them with the mess he started (or so he believes).

This is why Percy goes with Nico's plan of using the Styx. Because he assumes Nico of all people who already hated him has no reason to curry for his favor. But he makes a mistake. After all, Nico needs his father's favor, and Hades needs Percy gone. Percy can't really blame the kid, but he does anyway because why not? He is angry, he is furious, and everything is slipping from his fingers. He is going to die. Everyone is going to die, and it's all on him. It's all his fault, AGAIN. So he rages at Nico because for at least one single moment, he wishes this were someone else's burden, especially Nico's, but Percy's taken it for himself, and it's too late to back out now.

So he fights and manipulates and negotiates. Titans, River gods, his own demigods. Because don't forget Percy knows there's a mole and that's also his problem. Everything is his problem. All that work and so many dead. Silena, Michael, Ethan, and many more on both sides, and he is trying everything he can to make it better to fix things because, again, he thinks it's his fault. Imagine doing all that, and Rachel tells him he is not the hero, and Percy bristles because no, he doesn't want to be a hero, but of course, it offends him. Because, if he's not the hero, then it's not his burden, and then what the hell is he doing all this for if, in the end, he is not the hero that can save Olympus? Does that mean he read the prophecy wrong, and now he is going to get everyone killed because he wrongly assumed he isn't the hero. He is angry and impulsive, and he snaps at even Hermes. Because now HE is spiraling.

And somehow, it's all over with Luke killing himself, and it dawns on Percy, the truth. So despite all the hate because why wouldn't there be hate, Luke has singlehandedly tried to kill Percy more than Percy can count, and he calls Luke the Hero. Makes the choice because he believes in Annabeth's faith and Hermes's faith in Luke. It pays off and that's all that matters.

Finally finally it is all over. the Gods owe him, and finally, he has an answer on the path he wants to take to change the gods. He denies immortality because he is Percy Jackson, he is Sally Jackson's son and he knows better than to let others dictate the flow of his life, because he has better plans than wasting away inside for eternity, dancing on someone else's tune. He fights for the demigods, the non-Olympian gods and their children who Olympus has failed to do justice to, for Nico, and in some way for himself.

Then it's not over at all because Rachel has taken Blackjack and Percy knows the truth of the Oracle and he loves Rachel far too much to let her even try. But it works and she is okay; he can't be with her but she is alive and she is okay and Percy is extremely grateful for that.

But then there's a new prophecy, and even though he tries to find some peace with Annabeth, he knows it's not over. It's never over for him. But he can forget about it until he can no longer afford to ignore it.

___________________________________________

Of course, Percy repressed his trauma. The last time he let it out, he released the literal bane of the gods out. Do you think Percy could live with something like that happening again? What choice does he have? There's no one who can understand him. NO ONE. Not even Annabeth.

You can see him accept his role as a leader and grow more into it. In son of Sobek or even in Son of Neptune. He is more serious and more authoritative because he has so many people depending on him, so many expectations hanging on him. We can also see Percy's anger issues get out of hand. He is spiraling, the readers know he is spiraling, and Percy knows, but he can't do ANYTHING. HE IS LITETALLY DYING OR BEING ATTACKED, HE CAN'T, HE JUST CAN'T.

BUT WE KNOW IT'S THERE BECAUSE WE CAN SEE HOW MUCH PERCY HAS GROWN INTO SUICIDAL TENDENCIES. AND HE CAN'T ACT ON THEM MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE DEPENDENT ON HIM AND HIS FATAL FLAW WON'T ALLOW HIM TO PUT HIMSELF OUT OF HIS MISERY.

BUT WHEN HE HAS DONE EVERYTHING HE POSSIBLY COULD, AFTER HOUSE OF HADES, HE LETS POLYBOTES'S POISON CHOKE HIM, ALMOST KILLING HIM IF JASON HADN'T INTERVENED. THANK GOD FOR JASON GRACE.

Percy was this sassy, heavily independent, "I do my own thing" kid and now he is someone with more responsibilities than anyone with most of his free will stripped and most of his hopes ruined or deemed impossible. IT'S TRAGIC AND IT'S EXCRUCIATING AND HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE HE THINKS IT'S MAKING OTHERS HAPPY. IT'S SUCH A HORRIBLE SITUATION. IMAGINE BOOK 1 PERCY? HE WOULD HAVE LET IT BLOW UP IN EVERYONE ELSE'S FACE BEFORE HE EVER LET HIMSELF BE SO BROKEN.

I have seen so many people say how Percy is the standard hero who is always good and never makes bad choices, and I wonder which books they read. Percy always makes the supposed "right" choices at the cost of himself. His fatal flaw enabling his moral compass and the sheer guilt of the lives lost. He can't escape. He hates the gods, he hates the quests but he loves his family and friends so dearly, there's nothing he wouldn't do for them which means Percy is suffocating, drowning, choking in his own misery, his repressed trauma,his self loathing and being crushed to death by the weight of lives, responsibilities and expectations only he can hope to fulfil.

And one day Percy won't be able to take it. His lapses of control will increase in magnitudes so great, his inner rage will level the world. Destroyer, like Athena predicted, Destroyer like Kronos wanted and Destroyer like his name means.

Not every hero needs a villain arc. Percy is inspiring because after all this shit and all these horrors. He is still good, but WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE TOLL OF IT. PERCY IS STILL GOOD BUT AT WHAT COST? LOOK WHAT IT'S DONE TO HIM.

Rick has such a great potential for an arc like that but he is going to fuck it up, I know he is but I hope readers realize where it's all leading to and how much Percy has changed and how much he has sacrificed. Also, @hermesmyplatonicbeloved , @ogjacksonsimp , @cynicalclairvoyantcadaver , @helenofsparta2, @fourcornersofcreation thoughts? Did I stray too far from the canon, or am I getting it right at least a little? Because this post took days, I have no idea what it has devolved into.

[profoundathletecowboybanana]

Hey guys I’m feeling emo rn so have some random assorted Marvel/DC character headcanons:

Damian Wayne keeps his stress in his stomach. And he has a lot to stress about. Normally, however, he can release a good bit of stress during patrols and training, so it’s never really an issue. People think he hates getting injured/sidelined because he’s seen as weak/not training/etc, but really it’s because his body will effectively start to break down on him bc he’s too nauseous to eat or move or calm down

(Not rlly a headcanon but,) Wade Wilson still struggles with PTSD all the way back from his days in the military. He has an almost airtight raunchy, obnoxious asshole persona that is extremely effective in distracting people into forgetting about it or not caring about him enough to remember. He can never let himself relax from it because he’s scared he’ll fall into a funk he’ll never get out of. If he can play the part, he can BE the part, lest he reap the consequences. You can inflict a lot of pain on a man who can’t die

Spiderman has an addictive personality. Coupled with his atrocious coping skills, anything that could marginally be classified as a substance (coffee, alcohol, painkillers) is off the table 100%. He would never admit it, but sometimes he finds himself yearning for the slight high and perfect pain he felt from the initial spider-bite. It’s why he’s never tried to find the spider that bit him.

He had a beer at a friend’s house once and didn’t stop drinking for a month. Normally his metabolism would buzz right through it but he had been drinking so many for such a sustained period of time that he didn’t even realize it was gradually starting to build up in his system (and it was easier to function that way, with his brain turned off a little). Scared by how easy it was to get into and how much he liked it, Peter decided it was for the best if the only bottles he picked up would be for the purpose of smashing over a bad guy’s head

Clark Kent can tune out all of the sounds going on around the world. He can also tune them back in. Sometimes, in place of turning on sad music when he’s feeling down the way you and I do, he’ll tune back in to the world around him and listen to the screams of agony from people all around the world that he should be helping, and that he knows he can if he could just be Superman all the time. But he can’t quite bring himself to give up Clark Kent, and the guilt feels as though it’s going to consume him one day

Wally west is never good enough. He sets his standards to beyond what is capable, and inevitably feels himself fall short of them every time. It doesn’t matter if the people around him tell him he’s going above and beyond already. He’s seen great, unbelievable things be achieved in his time as the flash and if he can’t reach that in everything he does, as a hero, a parent, a husband, then the fastest man alive will always feel one step behind

Brucie Wayne specifically is friends with Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. They like his style and music taste and he doesn’t care if they steal things from whatever gala he’s hosting as long as no one gets too hurt or killed. Brucie Wayne has been crafted so perfectly, however, that the fondness he experiences towards the two girls disappears with the persona, allowing Batman to take over and do what needs to be done in a fight. Batman doesn’t feel a thing as he dislocates Harley’s bad shoulder and burns Ivy’s vines. When Just Bruce is woken up by Alfred in the morning though, Brucie Wayne tucked aside until lunch and Batman resting in the back of his mind until the moon rises again, Just Bruce feels a sickening sense of guilt in the back of his mind that he can’t quite place.

Harley Quinn is so terrified that the acid messed up her brain beyond repair, that she has never tried to complete the research she once dedicated her life to despite the fact that her passion for it never died out. In fact, with the resources and loser morals she has now, it would be much easier to finish, but she’s rusty, and she can’t always think straight anymore, and she’s a doctor, damnit, and she will not put that title at risk by looking like a fool that don’t do some simple research. So at this point, she doesn’t even want to bother trying, despite Ivy’s assurances that she’s not as stupid as the joker made her feel.

There are whole groups of people online and in person that were created for the soul purpose of finding others who, under the effects of fear toxin, have had the joker be a disturbing focus of their fear. During these meetings, when Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, and Harley Quinn are all disguised, sitting next to each other in companionable grief, they forget all that Batman and Robin stand for and comfort each other in the sole wish that the dark night would just kill the bastard already.

The people of Gotham tend to agree in this sense. In fact, they actively advocate for it most of the time, firm in their stance that they would turn a blind eye for Batman if he’d do it just this once. It wouldn’t be compromising his morals, they assure, and they like to think they would trust Batman more if he took joker off the streets. They’re wrong. A man that strong and skilled and powerful? The only reason Batman gives any hope or safety to the people is the fact that no matter how “bad” you are, he will actively try and keep you alive. The people don’t realize it, but if they knew just how easy it would be for Batman to let his strength slip even once and kill someone, Gotham would never recover. Joker is not the greatest threat in Gotham, but having the privilege of the greatest threat being on their side, the people of Gotham don’t recognize who their biggest fear could really be

[cheri-2047]

I saw that your request are open

Possibly could you write Luka and an S/O headcannons?? Like the s/o or crush is a very bright person, who only looks into the bright side. ((Maybe also somewhat popular?? With a great voice etc?)

Take your time!! I love your work!!

Im the number one Luka lover!!! OFC ID WRITE THIS!! CHARACTERS: Luka, Mentions of Hyunwoo, Hyuna

Luka x Bubbly Reader Headcanons

Luka was...amused. Not in a bad way, but also not in a good way. He found it strange how a human in Anakt Garden was able to harbor such emotions, such cheerfulness as if they werent all destined to die.

He often watched from afar, spacing out while playing with Hyuna and Hyunwoo, just watching you.

As a kid, he never talked to you, but by accident you ended uo getting the feeling that he hated you. It wasnt until one day, you saw his owner Heperu throwing away his food tray in front of everyone else.

You watched as he stayed silent, being obedient, looking down at his lap. Once his owner left, he stood up and on his way to leave the cafeteria, you could tell he was extremely hungry. After all, he was the most starved out of everyone in Anakt Garden.

You run up to him, immediately pulling him down on the seat in front of you, and moving your tray to the middle of both of you.

"...?" he looks confused. He stares at it, wondering if you were gonna eat it in front of him just to rub salt in the wound, when in reality you were trying to feed him. You give him chopsticks and he eats very little portions (until you force him more).

He mutters a soft thank you, his hands fiddling with his sleeves, unsure how to show gratitude. He leaves the cafeteria.

That afternoon, he learns from hyuna how to make a flower crown. He leaves it on your music piece as a form of gratitude and the rest is history.

Now, both of you had grown very close. Because of your beauty and talent, you were spared from Alien Stage. Instead, the Aliens made you a popular model. Luka watched from the sidelines as you continued to (as he thinks) "Live your life."

Heperu allows Luka to hang out with you often, mostly because your owner says "y/n cant live without him!" And cause he gets paid, but that causes you two to develop...something special.

Yes, there are times youre too much and he's too little, but in the end, he's grown to become attracted to your bubbly attitude. He's grown to appreciate the hugs he used to hate so so much, to like how you'd often fall asleep due to your own exhaustion, etc.

He learns about affection, how to love, what love is, and how to treat you well (fun fact: he canonically did this for hyuna to understand what love is)

One day, he doesnt exactly....confess? He just starts saying "Oh Y/n? Ah yeah I know them, theyre mine arent they?" and when you ask him about it, thats when he admits his feelings. He just says it in a very odd way.

"Y/N. I have grown to have feelings for you. Im yours." And thats all he says. Its not romantic, but he never tells anyone "Im yours." Due to his past, he got used to say "Youre mine. Youre mine only." and him offering himself to you was a big step.

You two become lovers and because of this, the Aliens spare both of you. They let you two live a happy life, only under the condition that you two continue to pursue your careers.

A/N: THATS IT. idk what to write anymore but!!! im the number one luka lover trust. THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!!

[msfcatlover]

Jean-Paul Valley is legitimately so fucking funny to me, I wish he showed up in more fanfics. Like. This man has no idea what he’s capable of, because it was hypnotically implanted in his sleep. Right up until he got sent off to the Cult of St. Dumas (in his 20s), he was the most normal guy you’ve ever met in your life. But all that training, that’s in him on an instinctual level. This man is a born ninja, he can fight as good as Batman, he can sneak good enough that Batman & Robin sometimes miss him. And he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. The comedy gold you could tap with just him going about his daily life is unparalleled.

He’s also built like Batman, and his passion is computer science. Imagine calling IT or your friend says they know someone who can fix your computer, only for the person who shows up to be a +6ft blonde dude who looks like he spends every day at the gym. Then he opens his mouth and he’s one of the most polite, humble, eager-to-please people you’ve ever met in your life. The whiplash this giant nerd gives to people must be insane.

I could legitimately write an essay on how much I love his dorky little glasses as a piece of character design. There’s so much personality in those glasses, I love them so much.

Also, and I cannot emphasize this enough: he’s not a good detective, and he hates the sight of blood.

Funniest member of the batfam by a country mile.