#i like my men broken

[poltoreveur]

I could fix him but I kinda like him a little murderous and psychotic tho

[aomine-ryo]

it’s okay the mental illness adds spice

[official-nrc-prophet]

the part about your type being people is so real

-❓ anon, if that’s okay

Yeah, I'm Pansexual with a slight preference for men, but that's probably because I go to an all boys school.

[vaguely-concerned]

are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid

[david-tennant-in-chairs]

Phileas Fogg, my beloved sad, broken, wet cat man

[ainosgarden]

[weebsinstash]

Okay but AU where Miguel is an alpha and reader is normal but they still give off the smell of being in heat before their period or just once a month so poor Miguel has to struggle with an oblivious reader whose just going around saying hi to people like they’re not a walking talking advertisement for sex

Reader: what do you mean 'I probably shouldn't go near Miguel right now? I thought he looked like he had a headache earlier so I got him some of those empanadas he likes from the cafeteria and some migraine tea

Peter B, not sure how he can tell you without sounding like an absolute freak that his friend is an Alpha and can smell that you're ovulating right now and if you go near Miguel when you're like this you could end up pregnant: beeeeecaaaussssse, Mayday misses you! Yeah, come hold my baby and come this way and hang with us and definitely NOT to Miguel's office!

(Lmao Miguel just checking security feeds by coincidence and, ugh, double whammy combo, he sees you holding the baby, in his eyes looking like the CUTEST potential mom, and he's just like "well, if she gets pregnant it's God's will 🙏". 'Poke holes in the condoms' girl he doesnt OWN condoms and he tells you up front, on his shit like "we're married, this is what married couples do". Or it's like. Kinda like with superman lol, where Miguel's altered not completely human DNA skirts around the spermacide in condoms that's formulated for humans so he might knock you up unintentionally but once it's on the way he wont let you get rid of it and he's actually so excited)

He overhears another Alpha make comments on your body and your scent and you just turn your head to see Miguel holding them by the collar as their little feeties dangle in the air and he's growling at them to "watch who they're speaking about that way" and you're just left ignorant that he's basically strangling the dude cause he was saying the equivalent of "if Y/N doesn't watch out she's gonna end up knocked up" and "hey maybe it'll be me" (no, absolutely not, run laps cadet, the boss ain't happy with ya)

And it works in reverse too! He smells good and you definitely cant help but notice 😩❤️ He stands just a little too close to you one day and you can smell this kind of masculine musk, I feel like he's kind of like too lowkey a recluse holing himself up to wear men's cologne but he's also like kind of an older man so just like, the thought of him having the scented pomade for his hair and you smell things like his deodorant and body wash when he's too close and it all smells very much you know Male but in a sexy way, the scent of aftershave sticking to him some mornings, coffee on his breath when he points to something on a monitor over your shoulder, just all these sorts of smells to associate with his presence even if you can't pick up the intricacies of his more "biological" components. You're up working late once and you fall asleep in a chair and later on you wake up tucked in on a couch in a break room with a blanket that has a scent on it (to tell other Alphas to back off and let you rest) and you can't help but put your face into it. like, as a young girl I didn't understand but I'm 26 now and there are just some male colognes and just like idk scents where you smell it and it's just like UGH I bet the man who left this is big 😩❤️ if it's not overpowering and you're not used to smelling "dude scents" that shit can be dangerous in the wrong hands

You experience the rare event of Miguel actually sitting down for once (shocking I know) and your desire to help and also your coochie activates when you see him looking kind of tired and run down and like, rubbing his face with a hand and he's got a migraine and here you are, "let me platonically rub your shoulders sir it definitely isn't at least partially because I'm crazy crazy horny for you and something about you kinda lowkey makes me wanna serve you"

Like you reach out and start rubbing his neck and shoulders and he's just so sore and had been working so hard he's like GROANING and shit like 😩 how could I not run my fingers through his hair, how could I SURVIVE if he started doing that shit. I couldn't, he felt your nails lightly drag against his scalp and it sent shivers up his spine and now you're getting your back put on the nearest flat surface while he pulls all your clothes off

"Sorry, but I don't think I can hold myself back anymore."

[sweaterangst]

the patient needs house bites

[the-diary-of-a-moody-teenager]

When Odysseus takes "trade the world to see my son and wife ..." to a very literal level in Thunder Bringer , because he is JUST A MAN ....

[pareidolla]

// tw abuse rant (nothing angry just moreso exasperated)

i'm going to admit that while i'm enthusiastic for the pristine cut, i'm also a little concerned canon will politely dismiss the tower's abusive elements, and if that happens then i might?? scream????

[greasydumbfuck]

also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad

[teeth-draws]

“What do you mean he’s scary!! Look at him!”

— taking artistic liberties to scrunkle the face of @shepherds-of-haven’s Blade Bronwyn - a man with 0.6% body fat lol

[crzyimp]

Murphy's Wish

Author's note: For the Red Lobster Inn Discord event. Ngl, I been going back and forth with this wip since the start of the event before forcing myself to sit down and finish it.

Warnings: None

Word count under 1k (no beta, we die like Carlos)

Enjoy!

Purpose, it had a purpose; its purpose is, or at least was, a hero. A hero to the public and intimating to keep the status quo, but it was too much; too frightening, and too strong that made the council force Venigni and the Police force to lock the wretched thing away. So now, the hulking puppet collects dust, tucked away, and out of sight from anyone’s eyes. 

Alone.

Alone inside a storage room tucked away from the public eye; dusty and ragged sheets over wooden crates, moths flitter about with the moonlight through the open window as the only companion for the deemed broken ‘Hero’. The room was chilly by the autumn air.

“Um…hello?” It whirled as gears wake itself before the metallic eyes scan to find the source of the small squeaky voice belong a young girl. Shaggy dirty hair and tattered clothes that are three sizes too big for it-this child. “... tbe-the big kids told me that if I asked you for a wish, you grant it…right?” If only it could blink.

Wish? Its purpose is to guard and maintain the law of Krat, not granting wishes for children. But. That is no longer its purpose now, not when the adults took that away and maybe, just maybe, it might grant this little one their wish.

“...my family..” the squeaky voice draw it’s out of its thought and back to her, mentally scolding itself for its lack of attention, “...every year around the fall we all got together, grandma and grandpa too, oh! Her voice was loud with a smile as she continues on: “And my aunties and uncles an-and my cousins too. We all brought yummy food and they let me stay up late. And and!” Tiny hands grab and bunch up the hem of the dress, knuckles bone white with their chin touching their chest. “And we all made a wish on the moon before…before…” Her voice was quiet, as if speaking it out loud will do her harm. It knows what ‘before’ means, and sadly, it can’t grant that wish to the young girl. Merely watches on as her small body couldn’t contain powerful emotions inside her with little salty droplets.

It will stay idle until this orphan finishes and leaves so it can go back to being alone, to collect dust like the council deem this supposed Hero of Krat to be. Alone.

Wait.

No.

Heroes aren’t supposed to let children cry or be sad, let alone by themselves in a dusty room like this. Heros, like it wishes to be, meant to bring cheers and happiness. How can it be so foolish? Though how can it help? A whisper of an idea crept into its mind, and a plan was in motion.

It was dumb. This is a dumb idea. Thinking about coming here after the big kids talking about a wish granting puppet in the storage at the city hall. She should’ve known this was a prank, a mean one. But can you blame a young girl to wish for her family back and be back to when everything was familiar, when everyone knows your name and loved you? Being here, talking to a soulless husk, like the tin-can can think or feel, all of it just shows her how dumb everything is. Stupid puppet, stupid her, especially herself for crying like it’s going to bring her parents back. Her whimpers and sniffles turn into a snotty sob as she squeezes her eyes shut. She has to stop being a baby! Her body shivers as something cold wraps around her back and the back of her knees. Must be the fall’s chill winds from the door she left open. However, the cold was solid and suddenly her feet were off the ground and motion. 

 Blurry and watery eyes, it was hard to tell who picked her up and carrying her out the door, but whoever this person was definitely cold to the touch or was it she was out too long in the cold? However, she didn’t feel frighten or scared as the police-man carry her out of the room and into the night. Instead of inspecting his face, she curls into her hands and weeps, uncaring that this man will definitely plop her back at Monad’s orphanage and go about his day. At least he wasn’t scolding or berating her, just quiet, almost comforting compare to the everyday noises of Krat.

Finally he stopped and gently, more gently than she’s used too by strangers, down with one hand still on her as if to keep her steady. Her tears finally dried out and she can see more clearly. This wasn’t Monad’s orphanage, but a view overlooking the city; the lights like fireflies in the distances and the moon hanging above her. It’s breathtaking, but, “Mr. Police…. man…” her mouth agape that the man who carried her here all the way here, wasn’t an officer, but the puppet in the storage room. Perhaps it can’t, but he certainly brought her to something that can. The shock washes away, and she smiles before facing the moon.

The golden glow with no clouds in the sky, the comforting light as she stares at it, memories of every year were her family and herself wishing on it; like those in Krat who wish on stars, but unlike the stars, the moon will never fall and will always be in the night sky every night. She softly smiles before looking back at the puppet, her warm hand over his icy hands. “Thank you for bringing me here. I’m gonna make my wish.” Her eyes cast down to her feet before back at him. “Yu-you should make one too! It’s only right.” She felt his hand gently squeeze around hers and a slow nod to her.

The young girl turn back towards the moon with a hopeful smile and shout at the top of her lungs, “I wish!”

He wishes….

[majimasleftasscheek]

Hi, im very sorry if this has already been answered or established somewhere else but im curious, with your Kazumaji stuff, around what time did they start dating (i.e. after the events of Yakuza 0 and all that) and how?

tbh, I dunno!

I don't really have an established date for that cuz sometimes I'm like man they'd be really cute during y0 and then other times I set it between post y0 and the beginning of y1. The latest they would start me thinks is some months after the events of y1 but in general it sorta depends on how I'm feeling and what silly scenarios play in my head

ideas under the cut tho 👀

if we're talking y0: I like to think Kiryu has to go to Sotenbori for some reason, be it business or he's there with Nishiki for some partying. he sees Majima at the Grand being depressed and is like "damn girl those bags under your eyes makes my dick go *boing sound effect*" and asks him out 🥺 Kiryu gets rejected immediately cuz Majima's in this cycle of 'I deserve nothing but pain and suffering' but Kiryu can't read the room so he is persistently showing up at the Grand despite Majima very obviously wanting to kick his ass. eventually he relents and goes on cute™ dates with Kiryu and realizes oof maybe human intimacy be kinda gucci

if between y0 and y1: Majima's fresh in his mad dog era starting shit with people just to be annoying and Kiryu's one of his targets mainly due to the events of y0. he's kinda like "lol this goober really did some important plot stuff, huh?" and his curiosity gets the better of him because Kiryu is an enigma who eats bugs and Majima cannot suppress his need to get some sense of understanding on this weirdo. in this timeline, it's more one-sided affection from Majima that comes in the form of stabbing while Kiryu is desperately trying to fight the gay allegations and failing. eventually he caves but it's a sorta unofficial, on and off thing that Kiryu doesn't really know how to evaluate for himself. Majima doesn't really care what they are since he's high on life atm and has a cute dude with big boobs on his arm

if during y1: literally just everything Majima Everywhere. Goromi. GOROMI 😩💦 Kiryu is all: I LIKE PUSSY but everyone's like okay big man then why's Majima pole dancing for you huh. the two braincells he has start to click and he realizes maybe Majima wants to hold hands or something unthinkable like that. ngl I like to think Kiryu's thing for Yumi is like a demisexual bi thing where he's like, I do love her but she don't zap my brain quite like the bowlcut freak who knows how to punch me real good and it becomes sorta his personal introspective journey during this time. Majima is also floating in the space of am I doing this for his benefit cuz "training" or am I falling for this dork. he's pretty sad about it cuz of the Saejima reminder vibes but eventually Kiryu falls into his own person that Majima really meshes with and the two of them struggle to actually voice how they feel all the while their pants are down in some dirty alley

if after y1: (going to insert shit from a fic I'm working on) Kiryu's absolutely devastated with what happened in the Millennium Tower + now having to take care of Haruka that he's shut himself off from everyone and everything other than doing the bare minimum to live. in comes Majima being a menace like yo you can't like, let a child parent herself you gotta get outta this slump and Kiryu's all fuck you stop breaking into my house. so it's a long pain in the ass process to help Kiryu deal with his grief while Majima keeps unintentionally making googoo eyes at him and both of them are like boy I sure hope this doesn't awaken anything within me. there's also a lotta dadjima stuff going on and Kiryu's like wowie zowie so you do have a heart and Majima's like no way loser while being just 😳👉👈

[thebirdandhersong]

happy to report the agony is starting to fade a little !!

[fieldbones]

It's been ten hours and I still can't stop crying. I haven't slept. I haven't stopped feeling that heavy weight in my soul.

Meeting him and being able to shake his hand in 2016 was a literal once in a lifetime opportunity and I'll never take it for granted. Fuck.