#i like meat loaf okay

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

My Nerevarine Alvivecia is a necromancer.

Her boyfriend, Oromis aka new Sheogorath was in the Cyrodiil Mages Guild, so he completed that quest line before going to the Shivering Isles.

Yeah, they kinda break up after she absconds to Akavir and he mantles a Daedric Prince, but wouldn't it be ever so much funnier if like, Oromis killed Mannimarco the lich, only for his ex-girlfriend, an immortal necromancer, to move on with Mannimarco the god?

[permanentbottombunk]

I was feeling super overstimulated and mad and also very sad so I checked my calendar

Beware anyone who's synced with me, our period is coming in the next 1-3 days.

[pinkchaosnight]

so here is my adar request. basically in which the fem!reader is taken in ep 5 instead of galadriel. once in adar's tent (during ep 6) they talk and get into a heated discussion about sauron and eregion. their banter gets so intense that glûg walks inside to see if everything is okay and then they both snap at them in union and then glûg whispers something like "oh no, dad and mom are fighting" idk something humorous lol. (excuse my grammar mistakes - English is not my native language). i need tension like air.

omg , tysm for this ask. its absolutely flawless. i enjoyed this ep so much! i have initially thought of doing a small imagine but somehow it turned it into this long, also i diverged from the ask slightly too🥹. i have changed some dialouges and scenarios. i hope you enjoy them!

pull of threads - (adar × fem!reader)

summary: dinner with adar is never straightforward is it? when especially you are captured and essentially sort of a prisoner?

(reimagined rings of power ep 6 where reader gets captured instead of Galadriel)

pairing : adar x female!reader

notes : english is not my first language, so i apologize in advance for the errors you might encounter. i have not properly edited, so please let me know if you find any error.

the uruk leader seated across you is poking his food with a vigour, as he regards you with suspicion. humiliation might be the nicest thing you can describe about what you are feeling right now, (along with some other feelings too but you blatantly ignore them) being captured as a prisoner. you were Lady Galadriel's friend and the her aide, until a few months ago when you retired from your post. everything that was going on was so overwhelming that you had to step away from your duties and that's exactly what you did. you travelled around, mostly staying in woods and forests and praying orcs don't chase you. you almost succeeded too until you recieved a letter from Lady Galadriel stating she needed your help, now that they are going to warn Celebrimbor about Halbrand being Sauron. you were reading her letter without a care for your surrounding that unfortunately resulted in you being captured and brought to the uruk camp. and thats why you were currently in this situation, being seated in front the uruk leader. Adar, he is called, as you recall from the days Lady Galadriel captured him many months ago.

the tent which was made up of dirty rags, was surprisingly warm, with a fireplace and a huge table laden with food. combinations of food that seems almost a disgrace to the plates it hold ; with berries, onions and meat. whoever did the dinner should be tossed into the cliff. the said uruk leader was now biting into a piece of meat from god knows what, as he watches you. if he is hoping to catch something from your expression he has another thing coming for him, as you keep your face as emotionless as you can, although Eru knows for how long.

" from my brief time in your Commander's capture, I guessed she was intent on finding Sauron. almost consumed by the thought of it, one might say." his words sliced the depth of silence that hanged between you and him.

" former Commander. and it is none of your concern what her intentions are. who are you to know her mind? you who could not even resist the allure of Sauron's words?" you reply in a monotonous way, hoping he doesn't find anything there.

Adar stops as he hears those words, as he slowly puts down the piece of food he is chewing. he remembers the first time he saw you; being chained up after being captured by Galadriel. all around him was dark but you came with a jar of water and a loaf of bread for him, when everybody was kind of neglecting him, except for when they needed information and torturing. that simple act of kindess and the conversions that ranged from 'hello' to a simple 'have a good day' that followed from your side warmed what little was left of his beating heart. he remember you being firercely loyal to Galadriel yet having a mind of your own to speak if necessary. he remembers how you disagreed when your commander spoke of his children as slaves. and above all, he remembers how you exuded a sense of warmth in that cold space.

now he looks at you in surprise as he leans forward "former?"

you squirm uncomfortably in your seat. after all, how could you let him know that one of the reasons why you left the army and being her secondin command, was his words? the converstion between him, Lady Galadriel and you, when he was captured really messed up your perceptive. other elves could not see but you saw what he was trying to say; that the uruks were just as worthy of lives and living as other creations of Eru, as each had a heart. you remember disagreeing with Lady Galadriel when she mentioned them as slaves, and Adar's eyes flashing in you direction, with ambiguous emotions.

shaking out of your reverie you say "yes, i am no longer her second in command, so its really useless to have me captured in here. i can offer you nothing. "

adar chuckles at your statement, as he rises from his seat and strides towards you. he stops infront of your chair, as he looks at you with an intense stare. and you couldn't help but stare back at him. those eyes, surrounded by scars and years of mutilation, made your heart ache with pain. you wonder what he was thinking, what he was plotting behind those somber eyes of his. you always wondered what happened to him after you ran away from the campsite that day. you retired and wandered in woods after that incident, with nothing to keep you company but fragments of him in your memory. love and hatred have a fine line separating them; you often heard from your friends and in those lonely nights on the woods you wandered if that is true. if you can cross that line with bravery. something that you are afraid to reveal to anyone. he was the one in your mind and on the other side of that fine line, as swirls of feeling wound up in your heart. a dangerous feeling to have for man who is going to kill you......one day.

"who says you can offer me nothing?" he says as he strides close to your face and tucks a strand of hair back. funny he did that because you had the same thought too, of brushing the loose hair of his and tucking it back. "my children found this in your bag" he says as he pulls out the scroll from a table behind you. "we know the elven army is approaching to find Sauron, in Eregion. And that has all the confirmation i want. and i know Halbrand is Sauron"

desperation washes over you as you see the scroll of paper Lady Galadriel wrote and gave you to read before she parted ways. you never got a chance to read the rest of paper as she and you went seprate ways, before you got caught by his minions.

" whatever your plan is, it is not going to work " you say with venom, as you stand up in anger (or so you thought stubbornly), coming face to face with him.

"do you know what Sauron promised me? " Adar asks you as he studies your expression flits from anger to confusion "children, he promised me children. and he made that promise into weapons of wars, my children mere tools for his gratifications, something which can be eradicated at his whims" he says, his voice a tad quite and flushed with sadness. it took all my willpower to keep my hands from reaching his and comforting him.

" you are going to kill him Eregion, aren't you?" i ask as realisation hits me a few seconds later. he moves back a few paces, widening the tantalizing distance betweeen us and doesn't reply as he keeps his back to me.

" you cannot, i think it is his plan too. i just have feeling in my heart this is exactly what he wants. for you to lead your army to him. we must ask Lady Galadriel's advice" i say as he turns and shoots me a look of disbelief.

"why should i listen to the words of someone whose race is hellbent on eradicating us from the face of this plane?" he shouts as he paces towards you, shaking with anger. "i did not capture you to hear your advice. Eregion will fall and Sauron with it" he says as closes the distance between us, trapping me between the chair and him.

"i want Sauron to fall too, i want to kill him and make sure he is permanently wiped off from this earth. but not in this way." i shriek in his face, which was merely inches apart from mine.

"i do not know why you care if i lead my army or not " he hisses as he moves back from me again, his eyes capturing my own ones in anger and perhaps sadness.

there is a tipping point for everyone's anger and you could feel his words pushing you to yours. you could no longer hold the feelings erupting inside you as you shouts." i care because this will all be ending in blooshed. i care because all my loved ones are going there and i don't want them to die. i care for the lives that will be sacrificed if you chose to follow this foolish plan of yours. and i care that something will happen to you and you will not make it out alive"

reality of the words registers in your brain as soon as the words escape your mouth. you have opened your heart and mouth and let all the dam of emotions you kept inside to turn into a river. and now you are going to suffer the consequences, preferably being submerged in those same waters, which you so kept in binds inside your now erratically beating organ.

Adar was stunned, staring at you in utter silence. his heart tingled, with the same warmth he felt months ago in your presence. his ears has always been the receiver of abuse and bad news, never the object to receive the sentiment with which you uttered the words quite a few seconds ago; words with care...and love. he slowly steps forward you, his hands unclenching from the remnant of his anger and reaching towards your face "you ....care about me.....?" his voice is a mere whisper, tinged with something you couldn't place. this goddess, this beacon of kindness care about him?

you wanted to melt into those eyes of his, that is oh so mysterious and perhaps you would have, if the tents did not flap open suddenly.

" lord father, glûg here. i heard shouts coming from outside. i was worried and just came inside to check if you are okay and if nan--" glûg stops as he sees you standing closely to his lord father. you notice his surprise being replaced with a slight smirk in your direction.

"get out" adar and you both says in unison, as you turn towards the orc in annoyance.

"certainly lord father" glûg says as turns away to exit "just lover's quarrel, lord father and naneth better make up". he exits as quickly as he can, muttering to himself.

you turn your head towards him, only to catch his eyes searching your face "yes i do care about you...." your voice is shaking but not in anger and with some other emotions you tried so hard to bury.

a flicker of emotions passes over his eyes as he glazes his vision over you "you think you are the only one who cares? why did you even think i captured you instead of your Commander, when i could have easily caught her and gotten the information too? why did you think you never encountered any orcs while you were sauntering through the woods? never have you escaped from my mind for a moment from the day we met. i tried so hard to keep every emotions i am feeling, hidden from you. but tonight i can't and i won't. i know i am a monster, an abomination for someone so kind as you. but tonight i am baring the one thing that has not been tainted by the evil , to your hands."

he places your hand on his chest, as you your eyes brim with tears. you feel his heart beating erratically, mirroring yours. "from the day you pulled me from that dark abyss, i decided that this heart will only belong to one person, to the one person this heart wholeheartedly loves."

time stops as you hears his words, it is like honey being poured into your ears. "so does mine too" you reciprocate, as you places his hands on your chest. "you are neither a monster nor an abomination. you are beautiful as Eru's any other creation. i even left the army because of you. because you keep on invading my everyday thoughts. and i kept thinking of how you are my enemy and i how i should hate you. but my heart never responded to any negative emotions, for all it had was love for you."

fianlly you can let this emotion run free, this plaguing need for him that you tried so hard to conceal. you would have stood there for eternity, for all of your immortal life, with his warm hands pressing yours into his chest. no words are exchanged betweeen you two in these seconds; no words are needed as the beating of your heart and the measure of your breath are enough to convey the feelings pouring off from both of you. he slowly closes the already miniscule distance betweeen you, as you step forward at the same time too, the tantalizing distance between your lips almost unbearable. you can feel his breath near your mouth, as your lips part with breathlessness and need. you just need to lean forward and place your mouth. you slowly reach forward, just enough to press the lips against his----

" lord father, i got a sudden report that---what is happening here?" glûg's voice rang across the tent as you and adar both turned to his direction.

" GET OUT GLÛG" you both cries in unison as poor glûg scurries off, being banished from the tent second time. but not before he catches a warm smile passing over his lord father. glûg catches from his peripheral vision, of his lord father pressing a chaste kiss in your cheek before placing his forehead against yours and smiling a genuine smile, which he has never seen.

'things will be good from now on' glûg thinks as he passes over to the next tent, thinking of the elf that thawed the ice of his lord father's heart. the one his lord father told him about months; the one lord father instructed him to call naneth in the future. and the one who made his lord father whole again after eons.

extra notes - all the asks i got, i will update them by this week itself, tysm for requesting! please leave a like and reblog and if you enjoyed reading them. hope everyone have an amazing day :)

[chuckle-clips]

Charlie: So Ludwig, yeah, what we typically ask to guests when they come on is, we’ve got a little bit of a sandwich here, as you know.

Schlatt: This is the Chuckle Sandwich.

Charlie: Don’t breathe on it too much. And we’re all sort of parts, different parts of the sandwich. So for instance, Ted is butt loaf.

Ludwig: Uh-huh.

Ted: Hello.

Charlie: I am the meat. Schlatt—

Schlatt: Mayo.

Charlie: Mayo.

Ludwig: Right.

Charlie: If you had to pick, if you had to be a part of the sandwich, which you are.

Ludwig: Okay, you guys are getting slowly further away from me, it feels like.

Charlie: No, no, we just wanna know.

Ludwig: Yeah.

Charlie: We just wanna know.

Ludwig: If I—

Charlie: Project.

Ludwig: If I had to be a part of the sandwich, with of all you guys tightly close together—

Charlie: Well, that’s—

Schlatt: You—

Ludwig: I think I would be the melty cheese— ‘cause there’s not one part of it I wouldn’t get on.

Schlatt: No, no! No, no.

Charlie: That would get— That kind of gets everywhere. Maybe—

Ludwig: I would get on— I would get on every part—

Schlatt: You don’t have to do that.

Charlie: Maybe we keep it cold.

Ludwig: That’s the thing about me, I like getting—

Ted: Wow.

Ludwig: I like getting on everything here.

Schlatt: You can be the side of fries, maybe.

Charlie: Oh, that’s good, yeah.

Schlatt: And stay away.

Ludwig: Well, no no no no no.

Charlie: In a different bag, sort of.

Ludwig: If I’m cheesy fries—

Charlie: You could maybe be a second— Maybe a second order that we put in afterwards.

Ludwig: Then we’re putting this on the sandwich itself.

Schlatt: No, no. You’re not going on the sandwich.

Ted: You could potentially be a s—

Ludwig: Call it a California burrito.

Charlie: Maybe a— Maybe a spear pickle that we gingerly pick up and toss away.

Ludwig: If I’m a pickle, I’m spearing all, that’s what I’m saying.

Schlatt: Maybe you can be the receipt.

Ludwig: Well…

Ted: Maybe you could be maybe a side order of coleslaw—

Charlie: And we can ask to not have you.

Ted: That they put in a little plastic tin that you forget about and it stays in the car for a couple days and wilts.

Ludwig: You’ve hurt me, gentlemen.

[icarusredwings]

What is the puppy Logan lore?🥺🙏

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED totally unprompted.

Tw: impure regression, past abuse, slight mention of pet play, death, non ethical, and ethical cannibalism(?)

Special thanks to: @stucky-just-stucky and others

This is ALL consentual, btw. Cause consent is cool and sexy kids.

SO ANYWAY.

Puppy Logan, right?

We all know that Logan is dog coded, gaurd dog, yes, but also puppy. Except he swaps between wolf, puppy, and kitten. He was raised with wolves in most comics, so it makes a ton of sense for him to have more wolf like behaviors than say - idk. A golden? He's not a golden. And he's not for first-time owners. He needs an experienced, patiant, and preferably regenerative owner.

So his head would be lowered a lot, he would correct Puppins like the "alpha" of their little pack, he'd howl and expect Wade or Mary to awnser, he's going to make a den, he's gonna try to hide his bones under the carpet, he's going to be tense and slow, big and kind of clumsy, big pawed fucker loves the snow but the metal in his bones makes him too cold to pull a husky. Aka, sleep in a loaf out in a blizzard. He'd love to do that again, but his metal won't let him. If it was just bone, Wade would never be able to get him to come home from the woods during winter.

This goes back to the puppins thing, but wolves are PACK animals. He NEEDS his pack and HATES being alone. He likes to try to play with other people if theyre chill and even other dogs who are considered "too rough" with other dogs, though sometimes Wade gets scared his claws will come out if his prey drive activates. For the most part, even regressed Logan is extremely gentle with small things (except rabbits. R.I.P. all rabbits logan sees when regressed. They're GONE, sweetheart. Rabbit heaven.) And while this does inclue laura and gabby, bassically any of his X-Kits, only a few can handle his rough play style. This is why it's important for his owner to be able to regenerate, or you can't play with him to his full needs.

He has two collars. The first one is a simple, literal blue dog collar. But the red one is more kinky and says bad dog on its tag, but the other one just says "Logan"

Well, the thing im cooking is that sometimes the blue one is involved with Logans impure regression, Logan being kind of skittish and territorial.

Ie. Growling at Puppins and trying to steal her food, stealing her bed, not letting puppins to sit on Wades lap, etc

Sometimes, in the blue one, he's more "Play with me" puppy. Sometimes hes "Ill bite your fucking hand off" puppy.

Because of this, He's still learning his recall in his blue collar, so he's sometimes not allowed off leash in the woods without a tracker, but He is in his red one cause hes more big that way.

But it's Logans choice what color he wears on what day. It's NOT just a collar.

It's unwritten consent bassically AND how he needs handled. If logan is conscious and acting like a bad dog on purpose, Wade can "punish" him. If Blue Collar logan is being "bad," he doesn't mean it, and he needs to be gentle with him.

Depends on what he's doing for how Wade handles it. Sometimes, he has to break out the ... AHEM ... BB words.... (bad boy) COUGH

But in all honesty? Wade raises him like a normal puppy plus a lot more words, explanations, etc.

"Oh, No baby, you can't eat puppins food- er Logan sweetheart thats dog-"

"Grrrr"

"Okay, Okay I understand. I know Grrr but thats literal dog food are you sure you wanna-"

"...bleh"

"Yeah, thought so- Why are you eating it again!? Logan! No! Comere big boy. Comere. That's a good puppy. Here you want this?" *Gets the ham out of the fridge and wiggles it so his husband stops eating dog food*

Its not even the fact that he wants to eat dog food its just the fact hes stubborn and has eaten worse... Hence why theres bowls in the kitchen on the floor that say "Logan" on them and sometimes get filled with meat or cereal, cause if not he'll just subconsciously get in the trash or eat puppins food and then get a tummy ache for obvious reasons.

Logan flucuates between kitten and puppy all the time since wolverines are bassically cat dogs. So if hes just sitting there, Wade will go for the head or his cheeks, if hes up laying on his lap, he'll pet down his back and give him a scratch on the chin.

He's practically nonverbal too.

Can he talk? Yes. Does he often? Nope.

Body language is Wade's best friend when he's this way. It's quite obvious, though, with how vocal he is, between the snarls, the chittering, purrs, growls, hissing, groans, and grunts.

Play time (Pure regression) Logan is much more wiggly and obedient, will play fetch and do tricks for treats, and simply wants loved and praised.

Rescue (impure regression) Logan is skittish, snappy, and honestly just wants left alone with his things.

Play time Logan is playing tug with puppins and putting his ball in Al's hand while asleep and nudging her to throw it.

Rescue Logan is laying at Wades feet chewing a bone and snapping at his hand if he tries to touch him when he has food or puppins come near them.

Red collar logan by now is humping Wade's leg and has gotten into the fridge to eat half the chicken.

Play time logan barks and howls, btw. It terrifies the neighbors.

Petre and agere isn't all fun and cuddles. Sometimes, it invovles being alone and trying to sort out your memories/ do therapy.

Just like ive explained, 'rescue' Logan lounges around thinking about stuff and because of all the bad thoughts and most likely bad dreams or ideas revolving his abuse and stryker, he just chills out, naps, lays his head on wades lap, chews his ball, not much. Imagine an older abused dog. This is Logan's impure regression.

#inhisfeels

Meanwhile, he's a happy, energetic 6 month old puppy during pure 'play time' regression.

Blue collar Logan doesn't do on leash walks. He's terrified of them both rescue and play time Logan. Play time logan will yelp and whimper as if you're hurting him and immediately lay flat on the ground and rescue logan will bite you before you can even clip it on.

Red collar Logan will let you leash him though. For.. reasons..

It's from his younger days when he wasn't given food, had to steal food, etc. You have to remember that Logan ran away from home pretty young and was used to being able to hunt food whenever he wanted until the military and yk he lived in al the wars as well as the great depression so food is a must. He has to scarf it down before someone else takes it.

Rescue Logan is also extremely food agressive but play time Logan is still being trained that its okay if Wade is next to him when he eats and if he pets him while he eats logans hips wiggle a bit. He's learning stuff like "wait" and "easy" and "roll over" etc.

Literally pure regression Logan:

I HC that he was "punished" by starving him in the army but because he's "the runt" victor gave him some of his food too but in return victor would lecture him about how humans always will treat him badly.

He also lived with wolves, and in the pack, the dad wolf always ate first, then the mom, then the strongest kid. Well, since Logan was one of their pups, he would fight for his place in the pack, therefore fighting literal wolves to eat when new pups were born and said pups grew and tried to show their dominance by taking his food but Logan wouldn't let them (obviously).

Wade will ultimatly "fix" this issue by feeding Logan in the kitchen with his own bowl and teaching Mary never to go near his bowls.

Eventually, Logan will learn that Wades presence is good because he's being the "Pack leader" by defending his food FOR him. Aka less aggression, and I personally always ADD food to the shelter dog' food bowls if for any reason I have to be near them when eating. (I've worked shelter for a decade)

So eventually, rescue Logan will learn that Wade= more food, not take away.

Play time logan has already learned this and will wiggle if wade pets his head when he's eating but WILL still bite if he catches wade taking food AWAY from him. Meanwhile rescue Logan will immediately start growling if you're too close.

He didn't show Wade his puppy side until after they were dating a while. There were always signs, but Logan didn't fully tell him or let himself slip until he trusted him not to make fun of him. His little puppy self is still learning that Wade can be trusted around food - Mary, not so much.

Mary is really bad about taking food that isn't hers cause Wade keeps feeding her human scraps off his plate, so she thinks she can do that to Logan too, which AT WORST ends up with logan shoving her over and standing over her while snarling in her face or putting a "paw" on her to "correct" her puppy misdeeds.

Wade gets scared when this happens, but in reality, correction without a nip is VERY good for food agressive pups.

Althea only found out recently.

She would probably go to "pet the new dog" and be like, "What the!? Wade what the fuck! This is logan! Ugh you better not be naked! I don't wanna be apart of what ever nastiness you have going on!!" Lmao. Unironically this was Play time Logan so he's just sitting here with his head cocked, ball in his mouth like "why the fuck isn't this lady throwing my ball??"

Also- Vanessa doesn't know. Laura doesn't know. Gabby knows on accident, but thankfully, she thought he was just being silly and pretending, Morph knows, Kurt doesn't know, but he's aware of how animalistic Logan is. Jean knows slightly, Scott doesn't know, Storm doesn't know, Beast doesn't know.

Charles knew...

He's the one that told Logan "what was wrong with him," though. Cause Logan thought it was wrong, and he was a freak for sometimes snapping at his students/ teammates and wanting to crawl around and chew on Jean's shoes and steal Ororo's sweater to lay with.

It's why some nights Logan ended up curled up at the end of Charles' bed and would start barking out the window when Erik tried to come in. The idea of Erik setting him outside the door and locking it only for Logan to sit there, blink, and process what just happened is so funny. This is clearly exaggerated but its a silly thought.

Logan would never trust the person who told the other x men ever again, and since Charles is dead, that only leaves Jean, Morph, and Wade to snitch.

Further clarification:

So pure "Play time" regression is like Wade when he's a kid and he's at the park and he's giggling playing, coloring, watching my little pony etc.

Impure regression is when the truama forces you to be little, so like when Wade felt like logan abandoned him, so he became small at peters' house in that one ficlet "Notes"

Logan's "impure" regression would be caused by him thinking about bad thoughts, stress, or something that triggered him to regress. Triggered regression is also "forced" regression and sometimes can be through positive association.

Like when Wade saw that toy shop and went all squeaky and lit up. "Kitty!!"

"Yeah. I see bub, but we have to catch our train."

"Eeehh!! Kitty!"

"Kiddo we don't have-"

And he sees his innocent and excited he is and groans "im gonna regret this. You can get ONE toy."

*proceeds to walk out with an entire bag cause Wade is spoiled*

He likes meat, cereal, whole mik, those scooby snack treats, raw bones, cooked bones, and bones. It doesn't really matter as long as there's meat to rip off. He likes pretzel sticks and bread sticks, too. His favorite is when Wade gives him raw meat or hell, People's legs.

General ideas:

When he yawns really big, he shows all his teeth and makes the squeak noise then shakes his head.

Wade makes dog safe cookies shaped like dog bones for Puppins and Logan.

Litsen my boys are NOT above cannibalism and if theyre already dead, Logan was taught not to waste by the natives. So who is he to judge?

"Look what I got! Its a super ultra bloody femur with meat bits still on it"

"Eww... wade.. you cant just-"

"Aw.. you dont want it?"

"........ gimme the fucking leg"

No but I did say that Logans puppy regression is CRAZY when he sees a fresh untouched snowy forest and that Wade would have to call for him for like 10 minutes until Logan comes trotting back with a deer leg in his mouth.

@nuggetpool-hi mentioned how Logan would probably like chewing on Wade's disgarded limbs because of some weird subconsious desire to devour his loved ones and how they would stink like wade.

"Now im inside you peanut"

".....I'm going to fucking stab you if you keep saying that."

Wade no, let this man gnaw on his bone on the living room floor in PEACE. Even Mary is side eyeing you for that comment.

And then @whiskeyandcigarsmoke replied, saying that Wade would tell him it was time to go home, and he'd hide in the den that he dug out because he wouldn't wanna go home.

I can see them older and married and if Logan is mad at Wade wade just picks up a stick outside.

"You want it? Huh? You want it?"

"Wade... No... Im still mad at you!"

"WADE- stop"

"You wanna get it big boy?"

"Ggggrrr..."

And Logan would stand there for a second, growling with his arms crossed.

"Ooohh yes you do! Oh yes you do GO GET IT"

"You cant... just.." but his eyes keep going back to the stick.

"Go on! Go get it! Go get it for me! Suchba good boy!"

And Logan finally sighs, grumbling under his breath as he goes to get the fucking stick.

"Yeah hes my good boy."

Even better if logan is fishing and someone compliments his skill.

And you see this old mans head SNAP to him, Glare, and then get beat red. Poor guy can't beat the "good boy" allegations..

Extra:

I feel a huge part of red collar Logan's relationship with Wade is:

Logan: *SNARLS in his face*

Wade: Mornin Wolvie!

Logan: *Stabs him in the stomach*

Wade: Hot.

Logan, mentally: Wtf? Why isn't he scared of me? 🤨 wait.. He's not scared of me 🥹 omg

[beanarie]

i never wanted water once part 2

tommy is also breakup baking, prompted by my dear @sanguinarysanguinity

part 1

~

He runs into Hen and Howie, putting everything back together in ambulance bay at the hospital. While he would've been fine nodding and going back to getting some air while he waits for the okay to take off again, Howie calls him over. Tommy asks after their families and how they've all, in a general sense, been. It goes fine, just as it did before. They're good. They're perfectly civil. Just after they exchange goodbyes, Howie disappears into the ambulance and hands him a paper bag.

Tommy peers inside and sees a saran-wrapped package. "What, exactly, is this?"

""Orange and cranberry loaf," Howie says. "Happy Thanksgiving!"

"You just have these to give away." Tommy cocks his head. "Are you selling baked goods out of your RA unit? I won't narc on you. I'm just so curious. Do you not have enough to do?"

Hen throws up her hands and smiles. "Civilians, you know how they are during the holidays. We can hardly keep up with all the deliveries."

"Sure," Tommy says, feeling like one of his pant legs rode up. As he walks away, out of the corner of his eye he sees Hen elbow Howie in the ribs.

He can't bring it back to Harbor station. He can't keep accidentally finding consumables. Throwing it out would just be rude. After dinner that night, he eats a slice, warmed for a few minutes in the oven. Then he tries another, slathered with cream cheese to cut the tartness. The loaf is gone by Cyber Monday, with his unnvoiced thanks to Anonymous Civilian.

Because he can, because Hen reminded him that it will be just another grateful gesture in a tide of them, Tommy makes pizzas, roast vegetable with vodka sauce, cured meats with sliced fig, and has the same tasker send them over.

When he's done cleaning up the kitchen, he turns the music off, sits on his couch listening to nothing but his own breathing and the hum of the dishwasher, and he opens a dating app.

He closes it again within fifteen minutes, but it's a start. He tells himself he'll go back to it soon.

[random-doctor-on-the-internet]

Hello earthlings, your favourite aliens back! Well, not favourite, I probably don't even make it to the top fifty, but let a guy have dreams.

I am currently drowned in exams and two days late on my art commissions schedule, but I've just eaten coffee beans thinking it was chocolate (don't do that, kids) and decided that it's time for a new BSfLM.

@weirdly-specific-but-ok , tagging you because I haven't bothered you in a while. Read this coffee induced masterpiece and cry.

global cheering

So, since @randomvoices and @zonzolik asked about the cults, I'll talk about...well, the cults. And now, mortals, IT'S SHOWTIME. Neil Gaiman have your mercy, for the worst is yet to come.

global slightly worried cheering

Okay, buckle your seatbelts, here's the story of how I almost got dragged into a cult. Welcome to hell.

Alrighty-almighty, it all starts, as it will end, in some little russian town. You know, these little towns that seem to only exist to say things like "this famous guy was born there", "that famous guy tried to sleep there for a night but was met with a lot of suspicion", "that one blorbo on the net got dragged into a cult there", etc. You see what I'm talking about.

"But, Ash, why were you in this town?", you ask.

The truth is, I don't know. We were looking for a place to sleep, then God decided that my life will be a crossover between Florida News and those traumatic fairy tales from your childhood that you remember all your life, and threw me there. Hi!

So, we arrive there, it's late, almost everyone is sleeping, and we need to stay unnoticed for runaway reasons. The villagers, however, are not very eager to welcome two black haired strangers carrying an impressive amount of close combat weapons. After a bit of useless bargaining, we realised that it's time to pack our bags and hitch the road.

So, we get a loaf of bread for dinner and go away, trying to look very offended. Historians don't say if it was effective. We're almost gone when we see a guy who yells us that there's a small community of monks in the woods who usually welcome well minded strangers.

Sleep in a monastery is better than no sleep at all, we decide, and go in the woods. We arrive, the monks are nice even if not very monkish, they give us some mushroom stew and send us to sleep.

I don't know what they put in the stew, but we both sleep for more than three days. When we wake up, they're all nice, all seem very worried that we haven't woken up earlier. We apologize for abusing their hospitality and ask if we could do something to make up for it. We may be punk, but we have a heart. They happily agree and we spend an unknown amount of days alternating between enormous amounts of sleep and chopping wood, collecting flowers, brewing beer, and other monastery stuff.

We start thinking about leaving, but every time we mention it, they ask us if we could help with something else, and make clear that they won't tell us where they put our travel bags (with the guns inside.). Now that we live with them, we can see that they don't look like monks at all. Neither of us knows a lot about Christianity, but I'm pretty sure monks aren't supposed to wear flower crowns, sleep together, and sing songs about how Nature is a massive slay. They're hippies, we think, nice ones, and keep chopping wood.

They seem pretty excited about the full moon. Is God supposed to look at us through the moon's eye? Is God the moon? Were they secretly werewolves? Who knows. But they were acting very strange when we mentioned it. Told us that we need to see the full moon ceremony, that it will change our lives.

We help them decorate the woods, and put a small monolith around which it's going to take place. They ask Beez to pick a goat, because they're going to do a thing in our honour. Goat meat stew? Why not. Another 2 day-long nap later, it's the full moon. They give us white robes. Beez insists to keep all the things they haven't put away under them. The black-white combo doesn't look good, but it works.

We reunite in the clearing. As soon as the moon appears, they start singing. I don't know that song but it sounds metal. I'm joining them, stammering some lyrics about burning Christians. It fortunately goes unnoticed.

And then, the goat arrives. It's very clear that there won't be any stew. Beez looks at me. I look at Beez. And we run like our lives are in danger, which is probably true. Without the robes, we're almost invisible in the night. And we mindlessly run for dear life, two days of running almost without stopping. I don't know if they sent people after us, but they didn't catch us.

So, yeah, here's how we survived a moonlight cult, and people from said cult obtained two brand new backpacks, a dozen guns, perfectly done passports (it was awful to redo these without being found) and half a loaf of bread. Hope they remember us.

Remember, children, always trust suspicious strangers. Fun adventures might happen.

[smackedwithamace]

rations in urinetown

okay, so the idea of the ugc rationing food won’t get out of my head. like ww2 grocery shopping style. 

so may i propose: scummy rich people overprice basic necessities (again)

URINE GOOD COMPANY

OFFICIAL RATION NOTICE

for immediate distribution

in accordance with the ongoing resource preservation mandates and to ensure equitable distribution during these trying times, the following rations are hereby allocated per individual per week. for detailed pricing in your district, please consult a friendly local officer of the law.

weekly rations (subject to change)

one small loaf of bread (note: may stale or mixed with fillers)

powdered milk, three servings

rice or oats, seven-hundred fifty grams

vegetables, two cans

dehydrated soup packets, three

as our company is both generous and blessed with a very lenient head of staff, when available, certain exclusive items will be available when stock permits (for an extra fee):

canned or dried fruit

salt

beef jerky

root vegetables

jam

canned mushrooms

pickled vegetables

dried or canned fish

canned meat

sugar

we thank you for your continued cooperation and resilience during these unprecedented times. remember, compliance ensures community stability and fairness for all.

URINE GOOD COMPANY

preserving life, preserving order.

[winniethewife]

Kinktober day 22

Day Twenty Two: Voice kink (William Tell x reader)

If you live in or near Atlanta just pretend you don’t. I picked a city at random, live with it.

Warnings: smut under the cut, nsfw, 18+, FemBodied, phone sex, masturbation, dirty talk,

Minors DNI

Words: 843

She woke up to her phone ringing. She groggily looks at the caller ID. It was William, she wasn’t quite sure what to call their relationship. Can you really call someone you’ve seen in person maybe all of five times your boyfriend? Lover? She answers the phone.

“Hey you.” She says trying to shake the sleep.

“Hey Sweetheart. Did I wake you up?” his low voice came in over the phone sending chills down her spine. The things his voice alone could do to her…

“Yeah, but that’s okay I’m more than happy to talk to you any time.” She says with a smile.

“I’m glad to hear that. I’ve been thinkin’ about you. I miss you.” He croons, the sound of his voice. Dear god. She held back a moan.

“Miss you too. Where are you now?” She asks. She doesn’t really care but anything to keep him talking as her hand travels down past her waistband

“Just outside Atlanta. The heat is terrible.” He chuckles

“Oh Yeah, I can imagine. This time of year? I don’t envy you.” She says trying to hide the lust in her voice as she starts to gently run her fingers in circles around her clit biting her lip softly

“Yeah, yeah. No joke. What are you up to today?”

“Oh you know, the usual…work, errands…” and then she slips up, letting out a small moan.

“Sweetheart? You okay there?” He asks half concerned half amused.

“Okay you caught me. I was…getting off to your voice.” She admitted with slight embarrassment.

“Huh? You mean…Oh! I uh… didn’t know that my voice did it for you.” He says, she can hear the slight blush in his gravelly voice and she chuckles slightly in response.

“Yeah, it uh…does a lot for me actually.” She admits.

“Even if I’m not saying…sexy things?”

“Hun you could be reading me the yellow pages or a recipe for meat loaf and I could get off to it.” She says with brutal honesty

“Oh, wow. That sounds…boring.” He says with a laugh

“I mean it’s probably better when you say sexy shit but I’m just saying…anything works” She says with slight hesitation.

“Damn…baby that’s… kinda hot…I um…fuck…I want you, real bad.” He says. She can hear him shuffling in his own bed, he releases a grunt.

“Tell me about it, please. I wanna know.” Her hand is back on her wet pussy as she slides her fingers between her folds teasing herself.

“Uh…Yeah yeah…” he sighs “Um well I’m, rock hard and I’m stroking myself. I’m picturing you, on me…god... I want you to ride me, I want to fill that tight cunt of yours. Ugh.” He starts to describe the things he wanted to do and her whole mind starts to go into overdrive, the way he says that. The way he says everything. The way erhe moans at the end of his sentences while hes stroking himself, it was divine.

“Fuck, Yeah I want that too, god, I wish you were here. I need you inside me.” She moans as she rubs circles over her clit, thinking of straddling him, lowering herself on his cock. The image along with his low whisper like voice over the phone was enough to make her buck her hips into the air in desperate need.

“Yeah, I wanna be there. I wanna fuck you like there’s no tomorrow. Like this is my last day on earth. I…oh fuck baby… is this doing it for you darling? Are you gonna cum to the sound of my voice? Oh fuck…” William is almost losing his mind over the idea that she is finger fucking herself to the sound of his voice, that just the sound of his voice is enough.

“Yeah, Yeah. I am… please don’t stop talking. Please…” She was practically begging as she jammed her fingers into her aching walls, it’s not really enough to satisfy her needs but its enough to bring her to the edge.

“I’m close too sweetheart. Just thinking of you… god I need to see you, as soon as I’m done here I’m coming to you, I’m getting in the car and I’m going to drive all day and night to get to you, I need you that bad babe. Oh fuck. I’m gonna make a mess of you darling. I’m not going to stop until we pass out. God I love you… I swear… ah mpgh. Fuck I’m cumming.” He lets out a groan at the end as he spills his cum all over his hand and chest, panting. The sound of which caused her to also reach her limit whimpering as she rides out her high her breathing heavy. They listen to each other breathing on the other end as they come down from their high.

“William?”

“Yeah sweetheart?”

“Do you mean it? That you love me?”

“Of course I do…did you think I didn’t?”

“Well…you never said it before…” “Oh… Damn… that’s it I’m driving up there tonight. I need to prove how much I love you.”

~

Kinktober Masterlist

taglist:@steven-grants-world @queerponcho

[puppetmaster13u]

@phoenixcatch7 I need to know if you know about the Mystery Flesh Pit (if not there's a Wendigoon video) but that's the sort of vibes I am getting from your description of the Hive and I am here for that.

Honestly I think there'd be a reason for the fact the Wayne's family home is right on top of the heart of the Tunnels, but I'm not to sure which reason that is quite yet. Perhaps the original reason has been lost to time now.

Love the thought of Bruce's throat being connected to the back cavity lol. Or he just has multiple esophagus. It's not like he's in a rush to figure it out because honestly it gives him a migraine when he thinks about it too hard. I like to think the goons don't even see what he spits up and pockets, only that it's either plastic or metal lol.

Continuing to think about This AU idea and just, slowly rotating it like a microwave.

@phoenixcatch7 had the fun idea of xenomorph-inspiration and the dollhouse being replaced by the Hive instead and I am here for that. A large cave that feels utterly wrong to anyone not part of their colony, if they can even find it. I am thinking something similar to Gemini Home Entertainment if anyone has watched that, with something between plant and flesh growing across the walls. Where one can't tell the difference between the two, or realize that it's already gripping onto them. The caves are already dangerous after all, nevermind the depths that It doesn't let anyone else into.

Also made me think about Jason, and like, so he doesn't die in the cryptid au, and definitely wouldn't in a world where he has a flesh puppet. But that still makes me think about how badly said puppet would be utterly maimed, right? Not to mention the explosion that would burn a lot of it too alongside whatever affect that'd have on his mind and human body. But now I am thinking of how the tunnels are everywhere under Gotham, how the bits of tendrils can reach through that ash, can meld with it, can for a cocoon of sorts. Turning a little robin into something else, letting it evolve into something new.

I am also rotating on if they'd be known to the Justice League like in the Doll au or if only Clark knows about them like in the Genesis au. Tempted for the second if only so there can be fun distinctly Not Human moments. Maybe the Justice League even getting concerned for their friend Superman because there's times he'll whistle or chirp under his breath (he might have picked up a few habits from his friends from Gotham) or literally snap his teeth if he's startled.

But oh the lil robins would probably be so adorable. Very fluffy and downy and brightly colored in a clear warning, but still unsettling. The way they move isn't right, like a jerky contortionist, but can also go too fluid or completely inhumanely still within a heartbeat. Not helped by the fact they don't need to breathe. O h, the batfam could most definitely be venomous. What with how in both Aus they use paralytics and sedatives on their claws and spikes, It could definitely include that within the secondary bodies.

[sannin-three]

i wanna hear the sannin band au. sounds cool!

THANK YOU (AND OTHERS) FOR ASKING, I SHALL NOW RAMBLE!!

Okay so. Like in canon they've all known each other since they were young, went to the same school and became friends despite being so different. In this, the Senju clan is a bunch of highly respected musicians so Tsunade has quite the legacy to live up to. She receives classical training and even talks Grandpa Hashirama into getting lessons for her two friends (orochimaru is an orphan and Jiraiya is being raised by Ma and Pa but there's not a ton of money). However, despite being close to her family and her grandpa, she wants to do her own thing and do more contemporary music rather than classical and Oro and Jiraiya are right there with her. They start out just messing around in her garage but manage to find a sound that works for them - they dabble in different genres like metal, glam and prog rock, punk, pop, etc but with a consistent theme of always trying new stuff and pushing the boundaries of genres. Their band name is, of course, The Sannin.

At some point, after doing smaller to progressively larger gigs, they've made an underground name for themselves. At some point Hiruzen, an old friend and fan of Hashirama's, scoops them up and becomes their manager and things really take off from there.

As I mentioned in the tags of @debilmann 's art, I see Tsunade on drums, Jiraiya on guitar, and Orochimaru on bass as I feel those fit their personalities:

Drummers are often stereotyped as being kind of crazy (or dumb), but drumming itself is very difficult so I feel that fits Tsunade's brash-yet-competent style. I picture her voice being similar to Blondie. Being "The Girl" in the band she gets a lot of criticism, including people saying she only got anywhere thanks to nepotism. She also isn't afraid of showing off her body with her public and stage outfits and faces some slutshaming as a result. And it does get to her sometimes, making her question herself. At the same time though, a lot of teens and young women love her style and find her inspiring. That and being able to do what she loves makes it worth it.

Bassists can be stereotyped as being unimportant or less impressive - which is interesting because basses are instrumental (lol) in making sure the music sounds right. But there's of course major exceptions such as Sting, Geddy Lee, and others who manage to make their own mark on their band and I feel that's very in line with Orochimaru. Style wise I picture them being a goth version of Ziggy Stardust or Freddie Mercury - outlandish and gender nonconforming but with a darker aesthetic. It's the 80s and being visibly queer leads to a lot of scrutiny from the band's detractors, and Hiruzen and other execs try to get them to tone it down, but Oro refuses and both out and closeted fans are grateful for it.

Guitars are usually frontmen, which fits Jiraiya's theatrical flair - his style is in line with hair metal bands of the 80s and I believe @sourstacks and I decided his voice would be similar to Meat Loaf. He's known for being the bands wildman and a horn dog, but he's also incredibly protective of the other two. People quickly learn that saying anything negative about the other two band members will earn them Jiraiya's ire. He especially loves to fuck with people who ask rude questions during interviewers.

Interviewer: so, Orochimaru, do you have any comments to make on the allegations regarding your sexuality?

Jiraiya: Are you trying to ask him out?

Interviewer: I- no I-

Jiraiya: You just asked him what he's into, sounds like a come on to me! Who taught you journalism? Save that for after the interview man, come on, be professional!

When they go places they look like they all belong in different bands, as their styles are so different, but they fit together despite that. At some point though they start to feel like something is missing. They have guest players sometimes and enjoy adding keyboard to their sets but haven't found a keyboardist who quite fits them.

Enter Dan. Kind, soft-spoken, whose style is the epitome of a hippie. He's been soloing for a bit and Tsunade bumps into him at the studio and immediately adores his sound. She convinced the other two to give him a try and they quickly find he's just the kind of odd but nice flavor they were looking for. Fans embrace Dan's addition to the band, and once he joins some start to colloquially refer to the band as "Dannin".

Tsunade and Dan were close from the start and touring and playing together makes them grow even closer and they fall in love. Some fans thought Jiraiya and Tsunade were a thing and a few even get upset about this development, but others are happy as long as this doesn't mean the band will break up, and of course it doesn't...yet.

There is some distance though. Tsunade and Dan start doing duets where the other two feel more like background players and neither Oro nor Jira appreciate it. They start to spend less time together as a group. Jiraiya's drinking starts to get worse, and Orochimaru has been struggling with drug use. The two do their best to lean on each other but keep snapping whenever the mood starts getting too serious. And of course they're both too emotionally stunted to just talk any of this out with each other or Tsunade and Dan.

Ultimately though, despite high tensions, tragedy is what leads to the band's downfall. Dan is killed in a car accident on the way to a show, along with Sakumo, who was head of the band's security detail. They were running late because Dan went to pick up a ring that he'd planned to use to propose to Tsunade. The other band members hear the news right as they're getting ready to go on and Tsunade's scream of horror haunts everyone backstage for years to come. The tour is of course cut short and they never play live together again. They try to record some things but Tsunade is unable to play without breaking down and they can't push her.

Tsunade sells off a lot of her possessions including the apartment she and Dan shared and goes to live the life of a secluded former star. Her estate will occasi release remastered versions of her old solos but otherwise people don't hear much from her. Orochimaru gets hooked into the corporate side of the music industry, first managing bands and then labels. They trade the outlandish clothing for a suit, though still keep some of their own flair and choose to tie back rather than cut their long hair. Jiraiya is the only one who tries to stay close to the music, doing some solo work, and it's not bad but still makes people sad to watch as there's clearly something missing. At some point he gets into managing and even has something of a hit band with Minato but then the kid tragically dies along with his wife and Jiraiya becomes convinced he must be cursed.

The three still care about each other. They'll call occasionally. Orochimaru bails Jiraiya out of jail after a drunken bender, Tsunade's there when Orochimaru gets out of rehab for the heroin addiction. The love's not the same, but it's there.

Still, they spend a long time rarely interacting...until three new musicians on the scene start seeking them out. They'd been part of an up-and-coming band called Team 7 until they dissolved, now each of them is seeking guidance, desperate to reach the kind of musical skills and influence the Sannin once had. Somehow they each manage to convince the Sannin members to take them on, and now it's a long distance competition to see who can be the best mentor for these new stars.

...

So yeah! This got long as fuck, but I hope you (anon) and the others who asked about the au ( @valtiels-darkness , @olivegardenhunter , and @debilmann ) enjoyed! Please feel free to comment

[chuckle-clips]

Matt: Can I have some of this?

Schlatt: Yeah. 

Charlie: Well, Supermega, we got a little bit of a sandwich going on we like to sort of build it up throughout the—

[Matt gags]

Schlatt: It’s like really bad. 

Matt: No, I— It’s good, I was laughing at what he said. 

Charlie: No, are you done?

Ryan: Hey, this is cute, okay, but…

Ted: Hey. Have some respect. 

Charlie: Just please, we try to be serious here, and just— for once, man— just for fucking once, be real, like with us here. 

Ted: Here in this place. 

Charlie: Okay?

Matt: I’m sorry. Genuinely. 

Charlie: Thank you. Thank you. We are the Chuckle Sandwich, Ted is the butt loaf. 

Matt: The what?

Charlie: He is the butt loaf. 

Schlatt: Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. 

Matt: Like the butt end of the bread? 

Charlie: It’s like the ends of the bread, man. I don’t understand. 

Schlatt: Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. 

Charlie: I’m… I’m the meat. 

Matt and Ryan: Yeah you are. 

Matt: Jinx. You owe me another kiss. 

Ryan: Okay. 

[Ted and Charlie laugh]

Ted: This podcast—

Ryan: Why is that funny? 

Schlatt: There’s nothing funny about that. 

Matt: Why— Yeah, two men kissing is funny— It’s so funny isn’t it. 

Charlie: I think it’s funny how you’re being so disrespectful while we’re trying to ask you a freaking question. 

Schlatt: I’m the mayo. 

Ryan: It’s disrespectful for two men to show their love for each other? 

[Charlie laughs]

Matt: Two best friends to enjoy each other’s company. 

Schlatt: I think it’s fine. 

Matt: In such a straight way, too. 

Charlie: What part of the sandwich do you wanna— what part of the sandwich—

Schlatt: I— No, listen. I respect it and I would love to watch you do it again. 

Matt: You wanna kiss?

Schlatt: No. You two. 

Ryan: You wanna watch us do it a third time? 

Matt: We’ve— I mean, we’ve kissed a lot of— We try to kiss as many other Youtubers as we can. 

Schlatt: Well, I’m not—

Matt: You can watch on video, there’s—

Ted: I was holding Ryan’s hand earlier. 

Matt: We’ve kissed Maxmoefoe, Chad, Twomad. 

Ryan: It felt like more like I was holding your hand, though. 

Matt: Markiplier. 

Charlie: Woah. 

Ted: No no no no no. 

Schlatt: You kissed Markiplier? 

Matt: And Jacksepticeye. We kissed Jacksepticeye on the lips. 

Ted: Really?

Charlie: How was that?

Matt: We’ve kissed a lot of Youtubers on the lips. We kind of— 

Charlie: What was your favorite? 

Ted: Yeah, what was your favorite? 

Matt: Jakob from Offcanny. 

Ryan: He has very—

Matt: He— His lips literally like—

Ryan: Perfect. 

Matt: When we kissed, it actually like… I was like, that was a really soft kiss. And I could’ve gone for more if it was off camera. 

Ryan: Real talk, it was pro— it was legitimately thats the best kiss I’ve ever gotten from a Youtuber. 

Matt: It taste— It tasted good too, he had like cherry lipgloss on. 

[lemonmaid]

Type of drinks and food they order from Starbucks!

Warnings: None!

Riddle Rosehearts : Royal English Breakfest Tea Lattle with brown sugar and a Red Velvet Loaf.

When he doesn't (when he is lazy) want to eat at Heartslabyul and have tea with others, he will stop by and get something small to take to class. Basic tea and a sweet loaf.

"Are you okay Riddle?".

"Yeah, am just overwhelmed. I need something fast and simple just to get the day over with".

"Is it that type of day already?".

"Yes, you can blame that duo of yours".

"Do you want shared custody?".

"If they keep waking me up in the middle of the night. Yes".

Leona Kingscholar : White Mocha with raspberry syrup and an Impossible Breakfest Sandwich

Listen when this man got the Impossible sandwich he thought it was a regular sausage sandwich, he still does, don't tell him he is eating vegan meat.

I also feel like he doesn't drink a lot of coffee, it's like a once-a-month thing for him when he is feeling peckish.

"White Mocha today Leona?".

"Yeah... I forgot that we have a pop quiz today in Trein's class".

"Oh shit, is that today?".

"Yes, also can you get me that sandwich that Ruggie always brings me?".

"Yeah, the impossible?".

"Yes that... also what's in it? What makes it "impossible"?".

"Uhhhh".

Azul Ashengrotto : Americano adds four shots and the Mushrooms & Kale egg bites.

This man loves those disgusting americanos, even more disgusting he keeps adding shots, he is business savvy and has to stay awake to deal with the Leech twins shit.

"Sir, I really don't feel comfortable giving this drink to you..."

"Why?"

"Because this is your third Grande Americano with four extra shots...... it already has four.... You've basically had 24 shots of expresso..."

Kalim Al-Asim : anything from tic tok and a Tomato & Mozzarella on Focaccia

This man is the type of customer who just shows a picture in the batista face.

"CAN I HAVE THIS??".

"Umm yeah, is Jamil okay with you coming here to drink? You know assassination? I could poison your drink right now".

"Psh it's fine, besides I've heard this drink is basically Neapolitan ice cream! But i wonder what Jamil would want.."

"Probably a shot-in-the-dark".

Vil Schoenheit : Chocolate Cream Cold Brew and a Feta Wrap

I feel like he doesn't really like sweet drinks "too much sugar", so he gets something bland but has a sweeten taste. It's like regular coffee but cold and instead of creamer you're putting melted whip cream on top.

"Samethinh always?"

"Yes, I'm so exhausted. My phone kept blowing up, Stan twitter is really something else".

"Oh yeah, I heard Epel talked about that. Are you getting canceled or something?"

"Ugh, no I wish. Me and Neige were seen eating brunch yesterday and now we are being shipped or media outlets saying "OH wHaT a KiND hEArT NieGe hAS foR MaKInG uP with ViLaN aCtoR ViL".

"Wish you luck on that, here's your drink by the way"

"Ugh, you're going probably remake this, there's too much water not enough cold brew".

Idia Shroud : Matcha Crème Frappuccino and Cheese Danish

When he does come out of his room, instead of the library he goes to the Starbucks café and plays video games or study.

"Um (Name) can you make it extra pretty, like in the picture? I wanna take a photo for my discord normies to prove I get out of my room".

"Yeah of course! Do you want caramel or honey on your Cheese Danish by the way?"

"Caramel but I want the Danish hot".

"So when you work, do you think as it as Papa's Freezeria but real life?"

"You need to get out more and yes. Yes I do, I even hear the music in my head".

Malleus Draconia : Caramel Macchiato with hazelnut and Coffee Cake

He only came to visit you, I doubt this man has drank any caffeine in his life. So when you asked what he wanted he saw the first thing and order it. I can't say if he liked it though, but do you know when cats' eyes dilate? Yeah his eyes were like that for a while, then he would randomly twitch, and purr.

"Okay, Malleus. Let's stop with the coffees, we have tea you know.... we even have cake pops".

"Coffee cake...."

"Malleus...."

Authors Note:

Hey guys! Sorry I've been so busy, I literally just started working and I got out of training yesterday and my manager came up to me ans was like "do you wanna be manager?" Appernlty everyone is leaving the store, so it will be me and two other people, who've by the way, worked longer than I have. I'm just tired and busy, but I am trying to get Isseked Baby Reader out soon, I just want to make it a longer chapter, so you guys can enjoy that while I girlboss my way to owning an apartment.

Thank you guys so much for the support and likes!

[aughtpunk]

modern au question what their fav foods/drinks? (for some reason i feel like jacob would really be into energy drinks like monster or whatever brand)

Okay, I took a big fat nap and I'm no longer tripping BUT I have become completely unstuck in time so let's answer some questions BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Shaun is a vegetarian and truly enjoys light, refreshing salads like the absolute freak he is. He has a severe addiction to sugar free fruit punch.

Jacob on the other hand loves meat (Shaun is freaked out a little by this and their very sharp teeth) and will commit violence for a good juicy hamburger. And yes, they do slam a monster energy drink every morning (no one knows how they're still alive).

Narinder loves anything fresh and warm. He absolutely can't stand canned or instant stuff at all. Rakshasa allows him to make his own meals at the cafe and he's getting really good at cooking because of it. He lives off coffee black and strong enough to peel paint.

Leshy will eat literally anything. You know that kid in school who would eat any gross combination of food you gave them for attention? Leshy is that kid but he's not a kid and also he's not doing it for attention and he loves it ironically. It does keep his siblings from eating his food. Oddly enough he drinks almost nothing else but lemon water.

(Lemmy is trying to eat better but still eats a lot of take out and fast food. And oh man, does he guzzle soda)

Heket is a God Damn Food Snob. But not like in a 'only eats at fancy places' snob, but in the she WILL spend an entire day smoking a brisket to perfection while her siblings are begging her to just order a pizza already. Because of this she'll also eat almost anything, although if you twist her arm she would say her favorite food is cinnamon buns. She really enjoys a nice cup of herbal tea but like not in the weird way Kallamar does.

I am projecting my autism hard on Kallamar so he eats almost the exact same meal every day: a bowl of fish chunks with tempura sauce and shredded nori on top. If no one stops him he will eat this three meals a day seven days a week. Heket honestly has no idea how Kallamar stays healthy eating this and only this but chalks it up to a weird-squid-thing. Kallamar, of course, is the biggest God Damn Tea Snob that has ever existed.

Shamura is a carnivore. Not like in a weird health dude way, but in an they're just naturally a carnivore sort of way. They love a good rare steak and are crazy for properly cooked bone marrow. That being said they can eat other things (even if their stomach disagrees sometimes) and do love a fresh baked loaf of bread. Shamura loves to unwind with a good ginger beer that's strong enough to clear your sinuses

(Clementine eats a carnivore diet as well, and was honestly glad to meet another meat-eating sheep with Jacob.)

[thetriumphantpanda]

Ghost Of You | J. Miller (Chapter Five)

Series Summary / Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller.

Pairing / Joel Miller x Widow F!Reader

Word Count / 3.7k

Warnings / FLUFF. ACTUAL FLUFF AND SOME HAPPINESS. Talking about suicide, mourning and descriptions of grief and depression. And a little surprise right at the end that I will not spoil for y'all.

Authors Note / Okay. I LOVE THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH. I have to admit when I wrote it I actually made myself cry and that's no word of a lie. I am having so much fun fleshing this story out and I hope that the slow burn isn't too slow for y'all but I promise these two are moving in the direction we want them to move in - I PROMISE YOU. If you enjoy this then I would LOVE to hear from you - Comments, reblogs and asks genuinely make my day.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

A week later, your garden is abuzz with life. Tommy has dragged the kettle grill from his garden into your own and is currently trying to get the coals to light, Joel is standing over his shoulder trying to get him to listen to what he thinks will work. You giggle to yourself when Tommy follows Joel’s instructions, and the flames catch. Younger brother yet again bested by his older brother’s knowledge. 

Maria is stepping out of the kitchen with plates and cutlery, placing them on the table, where Ellie is sat curled on the chair with her nose in a book. She’d come to the library on Monday and switched Artemis Fowl for the Chronicles of Narnia, another good choice in your opinion, and she’d spent most of the last thirty minutes with her nose stuck in the book. 

“Here you go, honey,” Maria pushes a glass of blackberry wine into your hand, “Shane sent us a bloody crate of this stuff, he’s made so much this year.” 

You clink your glass with her own and take a sip, letting the sweet liquid fall down your throat. You have to admit it was getting better with every year. The first year Shane had proudly debuted his wine it was way too sour, everyone apart from Tommy had been too polite to tell him so. The next year, it had been drowned in enough sugar to give anyone diabetes, but now he was getting the hang of it, and with the sun starting to lower in the sky and all your favourite people, apart from one, around you, you had to admit you thought you were happy. 

You’d spent all day cooking side dishes that you’d saved up your ration cards for. Potato salad, a slapdash attempt at Greek salad, just without feta and balsamic vinegar, you’d even made a fresh loaf of bread. Maria and Tommy had brought meat to grill – there were steaks from the last lot of cows to have been slaughtered, chicken that Maria had skewered with peppers, and even burgers and sausages. Your luck to have found this place never failed to amaze you. You could convince yourself all this was back on the street you’d lived at in California before outbreak day. Ellie had even attempted to make a pie as dessert. She’d lifted the cloth covering the pastry when she’d knocked on the door, Joel in tow. 

“It’s apple, because I remember you saying that was your favourite,” You’d smiled and pulled her into a quick hug, “Joel insisted on a whole pastry lid though, something about it being better than the lattice.” 

You’d looked him in the eye, “Well, Joel is outnumbered here, but we’ll let him off for tonight.” 

He’d dipped to kiss your cheek as he’d walked in through the threshold, passing a bottle of whiskey to you, “If you set that in the freezer it’ll be nice and chilled for something to drink after dinner.” 

Once the flames have died down and the coals are embers, you watch Tommy set the chicken skewers on the grill. You head inside and pull your sides out of the fridge, cutting slices of bread. There’s a tiny amount of butter left which you also pull out, setting everything on the table outside, watching as Ellie’s eyes bulge at foods she’d never experienced before. You smirk at her, whispering that she’s welcome to try anything she wants but to make sure Joel doesn’t catch her, sure that he’ll chide her for her manners. 

You go back inside and pull another plate out for Tommy to set the cooked meat on and fill two tumblers of whiskey for the two of them, setting them on the empty plate to take them down to the men. 

“It never fails to amaze me how much cooking on fire takes you men back to the dark ages.” You joke, holding the plate out for Joel to take a glass, which he does gladly, neither him nor Tommy enjoying Shane’s homebrewed beer much by the looks of it.

You hand Tommy the plate once he’s taken his own glass, “Didn’t Sarah always used to say the same thing?” Tommy asked, Joel nods in agreement, “Somethin’ about being cavemen.” 

You laugh and leave them to it, heading back to the table where Maria and Ellie are talking together. As you sit down you can tell that Ellie is attempting (and failing) to get Maria to let her try her wine. 

“You don’t want this, trust me,” You smirk, sitting down on the chair next to her, “I’ve been drinking my entire life and it’s already going to my head.” 

You make polite conversation around the table for a little while until Tommy is walking towards you with a plate full of grilled meat. He sets it down before he sits down next to his wife, Joel taking the other unoccupied chair opposite you. Within moments, plates are full and you’re all eating in silence. 

Joel watches you intently as you cut a slice of steak. He watches as your eyes close and your head tilts back a little until a little groan falls from your mouth. He can’t stop his brain from thinking how much he’d like to be the one making your eyes close and your head tilt back like that. God, he really was getting old if a singular glass of whiskey had him thinking like this. He drags his gaze from you back to his own plate of food, so you don’t catch the darkening of his eyes. 

“Tommy, Jesus Christ, I haven’t had steak like this in so long.” You’re praising his brother, breaking off a slice of bread to dip into the dripping that’s come from the resting steak. 

Everyone is silent as you make your way through the rest of the meal. Once you’ve all eaten your fill there’s less left that you thought there would be, everyone obviously making the most of the rare luxury of meat. 

Ellie insists that although you’re all fit to burst, you have to try a slice of apple pie and you’re thankful you did. She’d done an absolutely fantastic job of it on her own and you couldn’t help the swell of your heart as she’d grinned when you told her it was just as good as the one you’d made together, backed up by everyone else around the table. 

Maria and Ellie do the dishes together, packaging up leftovers for everyone to take home with them for the next day as Joel and Tommy start a small fire on the grass of your garden in a small drum that you don’t dare ask where he got it from. You tell Ellie about your days camping with your dad, toasting marshmallows and getting sticky when you tried to pull it off the toasting stick. 

You drink whiskey for the first time in ages as you swap stories across the fire and you can’t help but smile. You love this little bunch of people, the five of them, sat around, keeping you company, making everything seem just that little bit easier. 

You glance to your left a little while later, Ellie is asleep, resting her head on her hand. The conversation has lulled a little, Maria and Tommy are holding each other’s hands, glancing at Ellie too. 

“I think I’m ready to call it a night,” Maria speaks, “We’ll take Ellie back to yours Joel, you stay here and finish your drink.” 

He’s just poured himself another glass of whiskey from the bottle and is cradling it in his impossibly large hands. He nods, gently waking Ellie to tell her that Maria and Tommy will walk her home and he’ll be back soon once he finishes his drink. She doesn’t argue, standing up with a yawn. 

“Thanks for today,” She says to you, bending down to your chair to give you a quick hug, “I’m glad you liked the pie.” 

You smile at her and say that you hope you’ll see her soon, bidding her a goodnight. She gives Joel a hug too, telling him not to stay out too late because he’s an old man. He snorts but agrees he won’t stay long. 

Maria and Tommy also give you a hug, insisting that you stay put instead of standing. And then they’re all gone and it’s just you and Joel sat around the fire. It’s quiet, the silent never uncomfortable between the two of you. 

“Can I ask a question?” You ask quietly, once the silence becomes too much, looking down at the glass of whiskey in your hands. 

The fire is warm, even if its flames have died down. It’s casting a gentle orange glow across Joel’s features which makes him look soft, even more welcoming than normal. 

“Of course you can.” He replies, sipping his own drink. 

“How long did it take for you to feel okay again?” You can’t look him in the eye, can’t look at him altogether, it’s a personal question, one you never thought you’d feel okay asking, but the wine and whiskey have made you brave, “You know, after Sarah?” 

He’s silent for a long time. Long enough that you wonder if you’ve upset him. You’re about to open your mouth to apologise for overstepping a line when he speaks, “It wasn’t time that did it,” He answers, thinking back to the last time he’d said those words, it’s still true, “It’s more about what I found that made it easier.” 

You’re running a finger around the rim of your glass trying to distract yourself but you can feel his eyes on you, “It never goes away, not really,” He sighs, “Not to make you feel even worse about things, but it shrinks a little, until you can remember all the good things about that person, instead of how much it hurts that you don’t have them anymore.” 

“What was it like for you?” You look at him now and fuck he’s pretty. No amount of grief would deny the way your stomach flipped when you see him in this moment. The flickering orange light of the flame illuminating the shadows of his face, his eyes are darker than normal, and you think you might just drown yourself in them if you look any longer, “What was your grief like?” You look away, trying to ignore the lump in your throat. 

You watch as he leans his elbow on the arm of the chair, resting his fingers on his mouth as if he’s contemplating what to say to you, “I couldn’t see the point of life without her anymore,” He speaks softly, “Sarah was gone, the world was gone, so what was I still doin’ here, you know?” You nod, because you do know. You know all too well. “In those first few days after I tried to kill myself,” You let in a sharp inhale of breath, which he doesn’t acknowledge, “I was ready, I wasn’t scared, but I flinched, and for twenty years I always wondered why. Why did I flinch when I pulled that trigger?” He’s silent again for a while and you want to reach out and offer your hand to him, but again, you don’t, you keep it in your own lap, “I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is that it won’t always break your heart, but I think you already know that,” You nod in agreement as you close your eyes, “You’ve just gotta find the next thing worth livin’ for.” 

You want to tell him you’re sorry, but when had that ever helped you? No amount of sorry from anyone was going to bring your respective people back. You’d always thought that saying sorry was a cop out anyway. Something someone said when they didn’t know what else to say, so you didn’t. 

“You know, it never even crossed my mind.” You muse, mostly to yourself than anything else. 

“What didn’t?”

“Killing myself,” You reply almost immediately, “I think now that it would have been the easiest thing, I could have been with him, I wouldn’t have been here to listen to everyone gossip about me, I wouldn’t have spent a year of my life practically locked in my house, but it never once crossed my mind.” 

“You wanna know what I think?” He asks, watching you as you nod, “I think that’s because deep down you knew you’d be okay, whether you realized it or not,” He’s reaching for the nearly empty bottle of whiskey to top his glass up, “I know it hurts, sweet pea, trust me, but you’ll know what love is again someday.” 

It’s such a striking thing for him to say that it catches you completely off guard. Outside of the handful of times this evening that you’ve caught yourself thinking of how utterly beautiful a man Joel Miller is, you’ve never thought about finding someone else. Mark was meant to be your one and only, you’ve vowed to each other that was the case, signed your names on a piece of paper to the same effect. ‘Til death us do part. It’s silly but when you’d uttered those words to Mark, you’d always imagined dying together. Old age, hands held, drifting off together. In reality it hadn’t been old age, but you’d held hands, right until the bitter end, but then you were left here, all alone, and he was gone. 

“You know those romantic movies we used to watch before?” 

“You used to watch.” He interrupts, a small smile on his face. 

“Alright, those romantic movies I used to watch,” You let out a little giggle, “Whenever someone died before their time, they would inevitably get just the right amount of time to tell the person they loved that they wanted to move on?” Joel nods that he knows what you’re talking about, “I guess I’ve always thought I needed his permission, not really just to find someone else, but to move on and live my life again.” 

“Did you need his permission for much when he was around?” He asks. 

You shake your head, “He was always so laid back, even when we were on our own out of the quarantine zones, we were a team, but we understood each other, understood what we both needed, so no, not really.” 

Joel speaks without a pause, “Then you just need to ask yourself for permission then.” 

Silence falls between you both again. You’re staring at the flames in front of you and draining your glass of whiskey. It was never your favourite, you didn’t like the way it burnt on your tongue or the feeling of it settling in your stomach, but like anything in this world, it was the case of any port in a storm. Joel follows suit and drains the last of his drink. 

“I should really be gettin’ back,” He speaks softly, “But thank you, for today, it’s been one of the nicest days I can remember.” 

You both stand up, Joel taking the empty glasses and you taking hold of the whiskey bottle with the last bit of amber liquid in the bottom. He walks in front, stopping to drop the glasses in the sink which you insist you’ll wash up yourself. You set the whiskey bottle on the side and follow him to the front door. 

He pauses before he can turn the handle and open the door and you wonder what’s going on. Joel is the kind of man who is always sure of his actions, never falters, but his hand is outstretched and he’s not moving. You’re leant against the wall on one shoulder at the bottom of the stairs that lead to the top floor of your house when he turns back around to you. 

“I think he’d want you to be happy, sweet pea,” He breathes, “You have too much love in here to not give it to anyone else.” His fingertips are brushing the space between your breasts where your heart is, and you wonder when he got so fucking close to you.

You look up and he’s looming over you, those beautiful brown eyes looking directly through yours and into your soul. His hands are cupping your cheeks. Those rough and calloused palms are warm against your skin which had cooled in the evening air. You can’t quite believe it but you’re tilting your face up towards him and he’s leaning his down towards yours and before you know it, his lips are pressed to yours so softly you might cry. You can sense his hesitation but as your eyes flutter closed, you’re pushing yourself onto your toes to press your lips more firmly to his. 

And then it all comes crashing over you. The moment you close your eyes, it’s not Joel’s face in your mind, it’s Mark’s. It’s his hands cupping your face, they were softer than Joel’s. It was hit scent you could remember through your nostrils, not the smoke and musk you could smell of Joel. Your hands are fisting the lapels of his jacket as you pull away, pulling in a sigh as he rests his forehead against yours before pulling himself away. He’s still close enough that your hands are still on his jacket, but he’s dropped his hands from his face. 

“I’m sorry, Joel,” You whisper, shaking your head, “I can’t.” Is what you murmur. 

He drops his head and steps back from you, making your hands drop from his jacket, he’s turning on his heel and heading to the door with a mumbled apology. 

“Joel!” You call out before he has chance to shut the door behind him, he turns and faces you, “I’m not saying never,” You confess, “Just not right now.” 

You watch as a flash of hope appears on his face and he’s giving you that signature lop-sided smile, “I’ll wait, sweet pea.” And then he’s gone. 

*

It’s late and Joel can’t sleep. He’s been tossing and turning since he got into bed an hour ago, replaying the events of the evening in his mind. He’s trying to blame his irrational choice to kiss you on the whiskey, but he knows it isn’t true. Every day he’s seen you since you sat down and ate strawberry pie together, he’s wanted to kiss you. Wanted to kiss the sadness and the grief out of your body and put you back together again. It had nothing to do with the whiskey and everything to do with you. 

The way you’d asked him about his own grief, so quiet and unsure as to whether you were overstepping a line. The way you’d listened to him talk about wanting to end everything but didn’t offer an apology or the look in your eyes that told him you felt sorry for him. The way that every time he spoke to you, you opened up a little bit more, let him in a little more. Hell, even the way you’d winced at every mouthful of whiskey. It was all you. And it had been a dumb fucking decision. 

He could hear the break in your voice as you’d told him you couldn’t, like you were afraid of letting him down. He couldn’t stop thinking about how you’d said, ‘Just not right now’ and his stupid smile at your words. He didn’t want to push your boundaries this much, didn’t want you to think you owed him anything. He just wanted to make you less miserable. 

He runs a hand over his face and grumbles to himself. He knows sleep won’t find him now. His head won’t shut up and all he really wants to do is run to your front step and tell you he’s sorry, that you don’t have to make him feel better by telling him to wait if you don’t mean it. He’ll never forget the spark of electricity down his spine when your lips touched him, or how he craved to push his whole body against yours when your hands had pulled at the lapel of his jacket, but he doesn’t need you to feel like you must want him back. 

If only he knew that you were led in your own bed, a few streets over, in a similar state of insomnia. Led in your bed, staring up at the ceiling, wishing that Mark’s face hadn’t been at the forefront of your mind when you’d closed your eyes. That’s what does it, what fills your body with panic. That you wished for the first time that you didn’t think about him. You’d wanted it to be all Joel, consumed by him, you didn’t want Mark’s face in the back of your mind. 

Tears roll down your cheeks and onto your pillow. Your brain is telling you that soon enough he won’t be there. You keep wishing he wasn’t, and he won’t be, you’ll forget about him, forget the shape of his body against yours, the sound of his voice in your ear, and surely that’s not right. Surely you should always want to remember him. Your first love, your first everything, really. 

Joel was a good man. One of the best you’d ever had the pleasure of knowing, and he didn’t deserve someone who wasn’t able to give their all, someone who would always close their eyes and see their dead husband. You couldn’t make him wait for you, but could you let him go? Could you let Joel go? The man who had fixed your rotted porch step just because he didn’t want you to hurt yourself. The man who didn’t push you for insight into your grief, just stood there and let you be, letting you share when you were ready. The man who had been through the same kind of loss as you and had been walking around for the last twenty years knowing he failed at ending it all. 

You run a hand over your face and decide that no, you couldn’t let him walk away, but you weren’t quite ready to let someone in like that. You needed to speak to him, to lay all your cards on the table for once, and that scared the shit out of you. It was time to put your big girl pants on and face the music. 

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[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #340

Ohhh, Sephiroth. I had a long day today!!! The rib injury is really acting up today, and existing in general really fucking hurts right now.

...But that's okay!!!! I had A LOT of fun today!!! I went to work at the usual time, and because everyone is rushing around for the upcoming holiday (it's called Thanksgiving, but it has a bloody and horrible history that maybe I'll get into later, so I like to call it the Day of Feasting), my department was bustling and busy!! Lots of people came to visit and to help that aren't normally there! The manager of the whole store, and the assistant manager, too (I still miss the old one, but this one is nice, too!), was there with us, helping us prepare bags of stuffing bread for people to take home! That's because on the Day of Feasting, most people like to prepare a turkey stuffed with very small cubes of spiced, herbed, and toasted bread, made soft by being soaked in flavorful juices!

In my world, there are lots of ways to make stuffing! Most people use cubes of toasted white bread. Usually, they like to add sage to it. Some people add cranberries. Some people add apple juice! Lots of them add finely diced carrots, celery, and onions! My own recipe uses seeded rye and pumpernickel bread, and it includes lots and lots of different things in it (it varies every time, based on what I have on hand)! My secret ingredient is one sachet of Wildberry Zinger tea!

...Anyway! So we dice up bread that didn't sell quite on time (it's still good, just maybe not suitable for use in sandwiches anymore because of the texture...), toast it in our giant ovens, and then put about a pound (about 454 grams) of it in a baggie so that it's easy for people to take it home! We make preparations for the Day of Feasting a little easier for people who wanna make their own homemade stuffing instead of buying whatever's ready-made in a box! If we didn't do this, then everyone would have to buy a loaf of bread and toast it themselves.

Of course, that being said, the ready-made boxed stuff is pretty good, too, and VERY convenient for people who, for whatever reason, don't have a lot of time! It's just that some people like to add their own “family-traditional flair” to their Day of Feasting! And that is also good!

...So! It was me and both of the bakery managers (Tr and Ka), and also the store manager, and the assistant store manager, and one other lady who came by who I didn't know, but she seemed really nice, too! And we all worked on trying to get everything ready for the upcoming holiday! An from the meat department visited a couple of times, and that was very good!!

So I arranged and baked cookies, helped lots of customers by slicing bread for them, put labels on packaged sweets, restocked the bagel cabinet, bagged a bunch of different fresh breads (some of them were even still soft and warm!!!! IT WAS SO GOOD!!!), and generally tried to keep the area tidy. Later, I was tasked with bagging up some of the stuffing bread, and weighing it to make sure it was accurately one pound.

I was very surprised when the store manager praised me, both for the way I speak to customers, and for the accuracy of my weighing of the bags of stuffing!!!! WOWWWW!!!! 🤩🤩🤩

Oh, and!!! Today, too, I wrote on a cake!!! I wrote on a cake for the first time, EVER. I literally have never done it before!!

...Actually, I wrote on TWO cakes today!!! BEHOLD!!!

...Okay, so it's not great, I know. But hear me out!!! This was my very first two times doing it, and the frosting bag needs to be squeezed REAAAALLY HARD in order to get the frosting goop to come out, and also I'm dyspraxic as fuck; I'm surprised that it came out even this well. But Ka looked at it and said it was good, and she's got over a decade of experience with doing this stuff, so I'm inclined to believe what she says! I have seen Ka write on cakes, and she makes it look easy; she must have some crazy grip strength, oh my goodness!!! 🤩

I did the difficult thing, and I didn't get a chance to eat breakfast before going to work, and I was allowed to work an extra hour today, simply because so many things needed to be done. So I decided I get to have treats!!! You can bet your bottom that I grabbed up one of those insanely fresh loaves of Italian bread (IT WAS STILL WARM WHEN I PICKED IT UP, OHMIGOSH)!!! And if you've been reading my letters up until this point, I'm sure you know exactly what I did with it!!!

...That's right!!! I decided to turn it into garlic bread!!! But not normal garlic bread, no – because since when have I ever done any normal thing in the “normal” way? Ahahaha~! 🤣🤣🤣

No, I picked up some mushroom brie and some diced pancetta:

...Why, you ask? Because it don't gotta be “normal” to still be absolutely! fucking! AMAZING!!! WAHAHAHAAAAA!!! 🤩🤩🤩

...Besides!! It's still normal! Just modified a little! Modified into something that is both normal and epic!

SEPHIROTH!!! 😳 Are you paying attention??? Because I'm not just talking about my objectively fucking awesome garlic bread!!! If you can imagine me looking pointedly at you, please do so right the fuck now!!! 😃😄😋

Anyway!!! So, of course, the first step is peeling and chopping the garlic!

Peeled!!

In the chopper!!!

Chopped!!!

Next, we mix it with softened butter! I used two sticks!

I mixed it up a little, just to get things rollin'!!!

...The butter was maaaaaaybe not quite softened enough, hahaha!

Anyhoot! The next step is to add our herbs! I used these!!

I threw 'em in the bowl!!!!

...You can't tell, but I accidentally added exactly one metric “oh, fuck!” of parsley to the mix (measured by how many times you end up saying that in response to how much of the stuff spills out). But that's okay!!! It still mixed well and tasted good!! Check it out!!

Absolutely fucking scrumptious!!!

Okay!!! So the next step is to prepare the bread!! Behold: our bread!!!

Sephiroth. I want VERY badly to put this bread in your hands. I want you to feel how warm and soft and fluffy and good it is. I want you to put it up to your nose so you can breathe in the wholesome and beautiful scent. I want you to stop and consider all the people it took to create this one simple thing – from the people who plow the fields, to the people who sow the seeds, to the people who tend the growing plants, to the people who harvest them, those who separate the grain from the straw, those that grind it into a beautiful powder... And then, those who grow and store the yeast, those who mine the salt, those who make the water clean and accessible. Those who make the machinery that make all of these things possible. Those who transport the materials. Those who create the things that transport the materials, and so on and so on!

This bread may look simple, but in actuality, it is a miracle woven by countless hands. And that's not even counting what it took to discover that we can do this with wheat in the first place!

...But I digress! Here's how it looked after I sliced it in two!!

We divide our herb garlic butter in half! A line straight(ish) down the middle!

...Then we apply it evenly to our bread!

...Beautiful!!

Okay! So next, we stick it under the broiler for a little bit! 500 degrees Fahrenheit (or 260 degrees Celsius) for 2-5 minutes should do ya nicely! If the toasting is uneven, flip it around and stick it back in for a bit and that should fix it up real nice!

It's time to put on the brie. But first, we have to cut off the rind. Remember: the rind is good when it's not heated, but after heating, it can make the whole brie taste like ammonia if you're not careful! Best to just cut it off:

...Why yes, those are bites taken out of the rind, in the upper part of the image, there! And yes, I was the one that took those bites! And yes, it was freaking delectable!! 😋🤤

I had two of these kinds of cheese. I put each one on each half of the bread:

Then I melted it a little in the oven!!!

I used a butter knife to spread it around. But I forgot to take a picture of the results. I'm sorry about that.

But here's our pancetta! Pancetta is basically bacon, but prepared differently! And it's raw, so you have to cook it! I put it in my wok!!

...Sephiroth. My goodness, but I'd give just about anything for you to be able to come here and experience how good this smells. It has a sweet and savory scent to it. It's made with pork belly like bacon, but it's not processed in the same way, so it has a much less salty and smoked flavor to it. It's wonderful!

...But it is basically bacon, so... there's gonna be lots of sizzly rendered fat!

DO NOT COOK THIS WHILE SHIRTLESS!!! YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DO!!! IT'S VERY BAD NEWS!!! 😳😳😳

Here's the result!

We divide it in half and sprinkle it on each half of the garlic bread!!

...Then we put the rendered fat into my bacon fat jar!!

...We'll uses that for some kind of cooking later!!!

Anyhoot, so I put the garlic bread in the oven for a little, just to get the brie all melty once more so that I could squish the diced pancetta into it. Once it cools, it'll kinda glue the pancetta in place!

We slice it up after that!!! Want some...?

Oh!!! And!!! I'm pleased to tell you!!! Do you remember our pumpkin seedling? It had gotten some root rot; I had to basically cut off the whole root mass, and part of the stem. I didn't overwater it; I think there must have been something wrong with the soil I put it in. It was old.

I didn't think it was gonna make it. But... despite the odds...

After cutting off the infected parts, I put a little honey on what remained and let it sit for a while before rinsing it off. Honey has high osmotic pressure, and so it's naturally a mild antifungal and antibacterial (emphasis on MILD; I'm not 100% sure it did anything at all). And unlike salt, sugar is something a plant can actually make good use of. From there, I stuck it in a wet paper towel and changed it daily while hoping for the best:

I think I might need to trim the end off one of the roots tomorrow morning; it's looking ever so slightly brown and weird, and I definitely don't want any bacteria or fungus to throw a party on my pumpkin friend a second time. But I'll wait 'til morning and see. Maybe put a little more honey on it for good measure.

Send good thoughts to my pumpkin friend, won't you?

Anyhoot! I had better start getting ready for bed. Tomorrow, my job would like me to be present for 6 hours. I am in a lot of pain right now after everything, so I should probably take some ibuprofen and head to bed like now-ish.

I love you a whole lot. Try not to forget it, okay? And try to make good choices while you're out there doing your things. Be kind, okay? Because that's who you always were.

Please stay safe. I'll write to you again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine