#i legit hope the readmore worked

[coldgoldlazarus]

After rewatching Into the Spiderverse last week, and my third viewing of Across the Spiderverse this weekend, a bit of a crack theory has been percolating in my head. Some spoilers here, so putting this under a readmore:

I think Doc Ock has a chance of returning in Beyond The Spiderverse. A slim chance, but a chance nonetheless.

Point A: Lack Of Resolution

This is pretty obvious so I won't belabor it; despite her role as a pretty significant villain in ItSV, along with Kingpin and Prowler, the mind behind the supercollider and given a pretty fantastic reveal, she also winds up getting hit by a truck during the climax and not being heard from again. The Prowler died, Kingpin got defeated and webbed up for the police, even Tombstone was seen getting arrested and shoved in a cop car, and the other henchmen like Scorpion also got pretty conclusive defeats at the hands of the 2D spideys during the fight itself.

But with Liv, there's no real confirmation of what happened afterwards; whether she got arrested, or ran off, or the impact was fatal and her body recovered, or what; no clue. (And if she did end up shoved through the Collider and landed in another dimension, she'd be subject to the same glitching, cell decay, and eventual death as the others, without the Spider-society tech to stabilize herself.) And like, that doesn't necessarily mean anything on its own, but at the very least the principle of "didn't see the body" is in play.

(Interestingly, I remember hearing somewhere that there was a deleted scene of her intentionally jumping into the collider portal while saying the "power of the [X] in the palm of my hands!" line that later went to Spot. Though idk where I heard it, so am unsure if this is actually legit. And even if it is, it was still a scene they chose to remove from the final film, so while it could mean that intent is still there, they also could have changed their minds on the idea entirely.)

On its own, I'd be willing to accept that that's probably the last we've seen of her... but as of AtSV, it actually isn't.

Point B: Aaron Haunts The Narrative

This part has no direct connection to her, but bear with me here. If you've seen it, (I hope you have) you know that AtSV ends with the reveal that Miles wasn't sent to his home timeline/universe, but a darker parallel version where his dad is dead but Uncle Aaron is not, and is working with the parallel version of Miles as the Prowler. He does say "I'm not" when our Miles refers to him that way, but the impression I got is that he's halfway-retired from the role but still acting as support for Miles G; the "guy in the chair" if you will.

I digress. Point is, it ends with a return for both Uncle Aaron and the Prowler identity, but this didn't come out of nowhere; all throughout the movie leading up to this, Aaron and/or the Prowler are brought up or indirectly hinted at on an honestly pretty frequent basis. Gwen's drumming recap at the beginning, the memorial grafitti on the rooftop, the Donald Glover cameo, the flash of him on the side of the building during Miles' breakdown sequence as he's rushing to get home, plus a few smaller mentions here and there. ("He takes after his uncle!" during the meeting with the guidance councilor, and a visual comparison with Uncle Ben during the "canon events" presentation, and I feel like there may be a couple others yet that I'm forgetting as well.)

The movie goes out of its way to remind you of him and his importance to Miles at every turn, and part of that is just inherently because he is so important to Miles. But it also feels like, from a writer-to-audience perspective, part of the purpose is also as a reminder; if anyone either saw ItSV but forgot most of it in the intervening time, or simply missed it altogether and for some reason decided to see AtSV first anyway, this makes sure they know exactly who and what he is, so the reveal at the end carries the full emotional weight it needs to. No matter what, you will have the proper context to appreciate Miles' reaction when Aaron steps through that door.

(Also, I just wanna say that I love that reaction in of itself; the hyperventilating panic at first, only to rush in for a tight hug. The mix of terror and comfort that comes with full awareness of both sides of him, and all the associated memories both good and bad, combined with this unexpected chance to see him (or at least a version of him) again. It's just a really great moment on that front.)

But anyway, I'm getting off track again, too many Prowler feels. ^^; What does this have to do with Doc Ock?

Point C: Aaron Isn't Alone In Haunting

This is admittedly both the key part of my theory and also the weakest one overall, so I will readily admit upfront that I may be reading too much into things, and Liv really did bow out for good in ItSV. That being said, here's my thought:

Even if a much lesser extent than Aaron, I couldn't help but notice a similar-seeming trend of brief reminders of her. On one hand, most of these can be fairly easily dismissed as simply maintaining continuity and connection with the first movie, as the bulk of them were in relation to The Spot's backstory as Jonathan Ohm; she was there for the flashback to the misplaced 42 Spider, and then seen again in a framed photo of him, when Gwen was inspecting the remains of his makeshift apartment lab. So while it's a neat inclusion, it doesn't necessarily mean anything more, right? Kingpin got mentioned too, during the Guggenheim fight with Vulture, but I'm pretty sure he isn't going to be making a comeback.

But there is one other instance that feels a bit more significant and out of place, and is what led to this theory in the first place. I mentioned this scene already in relation to the Uncle Aaron foreshadowing/reminders, but going back to it now, there is what I've dubbed the Falling Apart sequence. (From the score that plays during it.) Right after Gwen's talk with her father resolves, we cut back to Miles, swinging through the city in a desperate rush to get back home to his parents in time. (Unaware yet that this isn't his city, his home, his parents, because this isn't his universe.)

Tangential Gushing Over That Scene

It's sort of a dark parallel to the Leap Of Faith/What's Up Danger scene from ItSV, with previous bits of dialogue and past moments echoing in his mind again. There, it was all the inspiration pushing him to finally take the leap and truly become Spiderman; whereas here it's reminders of all the stress and uncertainty he's under as he races against time and possibly destiny itself, not to mention being plagued by doubts after Miguel revealed he possibly shouldn't have become Spiderman to begin with.

But what I especially love is the animation of this sequence, which on first watch I thought was stuff actually happening, but reads more on subsequent viewings like hallucinations during what's basically a panic attack. It's both gorgeous and stressful, with trains derailing and rerailing to chase Miles; the space between the skyscrapers growing narrower and more claustrophobic; and stuff like the 42 Spider, the Spot's arms, and Doc Ock's tentacles also appear briefly to hem him in even further until the end. He finally breaks free at the end, with Aaron's dying words to "just keep going" pushing him to make it the rest of the way 'home' unimpeded, a tiny bit of much-needed catharsis amidst all the overwhelming... everything else.

I really love this scene, in case it wasn't obvious.

Point C, Continued: Why Tentacle Happen?

But to get back on track, nearly everything about this sequence is mainly focused on ideas introduced in Across; the Spot, Miguel, Jefferson's predicted demise. The Spider is from the first movie, but still given extra context now; the first big exception is the reuse of Spider-Ham's line about how "the hardest part of this job is that you can't always save everyone" while images of him, Noir, and Peni appear on the glass building Miles is swinging past. Even that is still relevant to the current crisis, and their appearance there is further justified when they too properly show up again in Gwen's 'band' at the very end.

But then there's this:

The dialogue at this point is a line from Rio; while the appearance of the tentacles definitely further intensifies the claustrophobic crush of the city, it also feels like much more of a non-sequitor than even the 2D Spideys just a few shots earlier. Liv has had nothing to do with anything going on, (or at most, very indirect involvement like the displacing of the 42 Spider) has no dialogue called back to here; and heck, even in ItSV felt more like a rival to Peter B specifically instead of being especially relevant to Miles, compared to Prowler and Kingpin. So why call back to her here? It could indeed just be that the tentacles are good for adding to that entrapped feeling, but given how well-constructed the rest of the sequence was, and how deliberate animation as a process is in general, this would seem oddly careless to include so casually.

Conclusion

On the whole, I'll still readily admit that this is a pretty flimsy bit of 'evidence' (more just symbolism, really) to base a whole theory off of. Yet still, between that part of the Falling Apart sequence, the parallels to how Aaron and Miles G were foreshadowed, Liv's abrupt disappearance and lack of closure in the first film, and the knowledge that this is the first half of a split script, with all sorts of other setup in Across still awaiting payoff in Beyond, I do kinda at least feel like there may be something here.

(At the same time, the docket is already packed with a shitton of stuff that Beyond needs to be able to address and resolve, plus apparently some additional new stuff mentioned in interviews like another Gwen, Toei Spiderman, and Hobie's universe. So with all that going on, I'm not entirely sure they'd have the room for yet another returning character in amidst literally everything else.)

So while I'm not strictly counting on this to come to pass, at least for now, the basic idea is that Doc Ock got hit by that truck, fell through the collider portal and into another universe, (probably Earth 42, possibly elsewhere we may have yet to visit) and somehow found a way to stabilize her glitching to survive during the intervening time, set to make a dramatic return appearance during Beyond.

As to what role she may play, I'm not sure. I could see her making some sort of temporary truce with one of the main Spider-people for a common goal, without giving up on her evil mad science in the long run. Possibly with Miguel's group against the Spot, in exchange for freedom to keep experimenting with the Multiverse instead of getting sent back home, though I also don't think he would be willing to make that bargain unless things are truly desparate and he's fully lost the support of the rest of the Spider Society. So it could also be with Gwen or Miles, against both the Spot and Miguel; the former's more unpredictable tampering and newly eldritch nature getting in the way of her research, while the latter would of course want to put an end to her experiements and send her back home in his efforts to restore order, giving her reason to ally against.

On the other hand, her remaining entirely villainous and antagonistic would also make a lot of sense, if not moreso. If she landed in Earth 42, she could wind up as the big obstacle of the detour instead of Miles G, allowing the latter a more nuanced and dynamic role. Alternately, I could possibly see her further experimentation being connected in some way to the destruction of the universe Miguel replaced himself in, unknowingly sending him on his canon-hardliner spiral, which would certainly give her a lot more relevance to the current conflict.

But ultimately, all of that depends on whether she really would show up again, which as neat as it would be, definitely does feel like a bit of a long shot at the moment. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

[smallraindrops-blog]

Some wmftd and hades 2 rambles I wanted to share:

Possible Hades 2 Spoilers !

Hypnos with long hair makes me imagine y/n learning how to braid his hair to make it a bit more manageable

Also I feel like seeing hypnos with his long hair would make y/n want to try growing out his beard (achilles sheds a tear when he sees it bc his son now looks like his pa)

Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage reminds me of y/n and hypnos in the pirate au

The amount of angst you could get if hypnos actually does fall into a sleeping coma in the second game 💀 (reminds me a lot of the part closer to the end of wmftd)

I wonder if achilles and patroclus will ever meet odysseus in the second game (how would y/n act if he met him lol)

Imagine y/n and hypnos babysitting baby melinoe when zagreus goes on his runs 🥹 (maybe that would spark their desire for their own children ?)

The wmftd brainrot is getting stronger every day, but I'm glad I stumbled upon this blog <3

AHHHH i love these, legit making me feral rn. Same on the brainrot, my friend. I’m happy you found this blog too <3

Placing my replies and a little short story under the readmore. <3

Y/N would definitely braid Hypnos’ hair for him. Also he wouldn’t be able to cope with how pretty Hypnos is with long hair. Like he totally gets tongue tied just looking at him. He is so fucking pretty.help.

OH AND THE BEARD

I actually hc that Y/N rocked a short beard while working as a fisherman. He was shaved by the time he died because beards are often used as a grapple point during fights so he knew better than to have one.

Until they showed us Skelly I wasn’t sure if Shades could change their form like growing their hair but it looks like they can. (If Skelly counts as a shade, I am not certain where the lines between shades and undead are drawn.) 

But anyway, yeah. Funny enough, I was wondering how to show how time passed for Y/N and was considering having him grow a beard anyway lol.

Achilles would love seeing his son with a beard, Pat too. They would probably joke about him actually being a long-long family member that Pat didn’t know about.

However if I think what happens in Hades 2 actually happens, Y/N will grow the beard while apart from Hypnos. (Thanks depression! 👍)

I haven't talked about it yet but I suspect that Y/N and Hypnos will end up losing each other during the chaos and he is either trapped, helping Hermes or otherwise unable to find Hypnos. He has no clue where Hypnos is and just wants to find him.

Looked up the song, and dude that is immediately going on the playlist. Thank you for introducing me to them.

yeah, def. I’m willing to bet the Hades dev.team had their reasons for Hypnos being comatose. What I hope is that Melinoe still likes Hypnos after he wakes up ( bonus point for everyone if she actually thinks he is the funniest person around)

I hope those met up! It would be like running into that one coworker you dislike while in the dairy section at the grocery store and they won’t shut up and leave you alone. ( i love all three of them, those adorable old war criminals <3)

AHHH. Baby Melinoe!

Baby Melinoe is baby fever on crack, i adore her and will happily fight an undead army for her.

I personally think Hypnos is someone who always wanted kids, especially since he is kinda a big kid himself and would be one of those parents who could play all kinds of silly games with their kids.

Kids were kinda never on Y/N’s radar. There was his own trauma, the war then being on the run. Maybe in a lavender marriage, he might have a kid or two but it wasn’t something he seeked out. Seeing how happy it made Hypnos definitely planted the seed for him. I like to think Y/N would actually be a natural parent with kids.

I can’t articulate my level of love for her so here you go, a wholesome short for making past my rambling lol 

(The short)

The news of Princess Melinoe’s arrival was a welcome one in the house of Hades. It was as if the whole house had transformed around the little princess, there was a warmth, a sense of love, to the house that wasn’t there before.

You were going over the newly increased list of security measures that Master Hades demanded and Queen Persephone had politely requested. You had implemented countless measures leading up to the birth and more afterward but there was always more work to be done.

“Oh look who I found, Princess!” Hypnos’ voice reached your ears and you looked up to see Hypnos grinning at you, the aforementioned Princess Melinoe in his arms. At your questioning glance, Hypnos explained that he was on babysitting duty. 

“Besides, I am way more fun than your older brother, huh?” Hypnos cooed at baby Melinoe, tickling under her chin. The baby girl cooed back in delighted, high pitch sounds that only a newborn could make, little bubbles forming her lips and down her chin.

Normally Hypnos was extremely fussy about his cloak but grabbing an edge of it, he just wiped Melinoe’s drool away without complaint, his smile never fading.

Then, he lifted an expected brow at you. You looked at the baby in Hypnos’ arms, happily blabbering away. You never been around kids, not really. You weren’t sure if the little princess could even see past her small nose. 

She looked tiny and precious. And very, very fragile.

Hypnos laughed quietly. “She isn’t scary, dearest. You can tell her ‘hello’.”

”Hello.” You told her. Her eyes widen, staring up at you with wide mismatched irises. As if she was realizing you were right there. She blinked slowly. 

”Try giving her your finger.” Hypnos encouraged, and after a moment of hesitation, you obeyed.

Princess Melinoe grabbed at your finger with considerable strength and simply held on, staring at you with a surprisingly serious expression, blabbering away in nonsense. 

You made the appropriate noises like you could understand her and repeated, ‘indeed, Princess.’ along with ‘you are definitely much smarter than your brother.’

A smile formed on your face without you noticing.

You didn’t see the soft way Hypnos glanced at you, realizing the quiet hope that was forming in his chest. When it was time for Hypnos to return Princess Melinoe to her mother, you didn’t know that Hypnos was already putting together a conversation to have with you later.

You never knew.

[gren-arlio]

Back on schedule. Welcome to Part 2 of Waku Puyo Extras.

Nice art aside, hello everyone, was supposed to post this yesterday but got busy watching EVO and Magic Kaito 1412. Welcome to the second part of IDK how many parts of Waku Puyo Extras, where I find videos related to the route I'm currently translating and looking at and add more to what's there, since I know I missed stuff. Lots of it.

AKA, if you have any specific screenshots you want me to translate, LMK. For any route.

For those who are confused, or are new, I translated Schezo's storyline (for the most part) in my blog. Now, I'm just finding bits I've missed and just adding onto those.

Post will cover 2 videos today:

Small bit I completely glossed over on accident between Episodes 5 and 7 (6 isnt real).

What happens if you become a heartless beast and say no to being Serilly's friend from Episode 4, given to me via @kirstenonic05 once again. Thanks for that again.

I have a feeling these Extras are gonna be fairly short compared to others, so have fun with that.

With that, the first video:

This legit is just a scene I missed. My work really is getting easier.

The video here is...interesting due to how the events are unfolded here. The introduction from 0:08 to 0:58 is on Episode 5 of me doing this, and 1:15 is the start of Episode 7. However, thankfully, there's one new whole area of text that my video didn't cover at 1:32, where we have an Arle and Carbuncle encounter.

For convenience sake, I'll just be doing that new part. The rest are already translated by yours truly on the designated episodes.

With that, the Readmore section will cover the translations and the Serilly stuff too. Hope you enjoy this.

Arle and Carbuncle Encounter: (1:32)

Schezo:

Ugh, that's...

Arle:

...Something's bothering me about Schezo lately...

Carbuncle:

Gu?

Schezo:

(You're worried about me!? What's going on...?)

Arle:

Ah, Schezo! How long have you been there...?

Schezo:

N-no...it's not like I was eavesdropping or anything...

Arle:

Well, you know...today, Schezo...

No, it's nothing, sorry! Let's go Carby.

Schezo:

... (What were you trying to say?

No, no way...)

Arle:

Hey, Carby! Over here!

...Schezo, why are you blushing?

Schezo:

Whoa! Where did you come from!?

Arle:

Schezo really has been acting weird today after all.

...Then again, he's always weird.

Schezo:

... ... ...

Huh!? I'm not a fool or a weird guy, Arle! (You kinda are bub)

-----

I guess the Horror House is just the Land of Misunderstandings. I dunno, maybe it's just me.

With that small thing outta the way, lets begin with the other part: Becoming evil and not being Serilly's friend.

For those unaware, lemme give context:

Serilly... doesn't exactly have a boss fight. She's on the floor where you're supposed to have a fight, but she just... doesn't fight. You're given the option to be her friend or not instead, posted below.

(Top is No, bottom is Yes.)

The route I went said yes, posted in the episode count. Today, we're gonna see what'll happen if we say no via this video.

I'll be translating this entire section. It'll be fun.

-----

Saying No to Serilly:

Serilly:

Ah, you're here... Do you want to pick on me that badly?

Schezo:

Well, why do I seem like that sort of person?

Serilly:

Because...you look scary...

Schezo:

(Hm, I thought I was cool, but when you mention it, you're not wrong...)

Serilly:

...You really did come here to bully me, didn't you?

Schezo:

Of course not. If you're not the enemy, I won't fight you.

Serilly:

O-oh... so, you want to be my friend?

Schezo:

Eh? No, that's not...

Serilly:

...Is that a no?

Schezo:

(Err...what should I do?)

[We pick no and cry like men.]

...No, sorry, I can't get along with women well. (Ehhh...valid point considering you hang around Arle and Co. a lot?)

Serilly:

Oh no...is it because I don't have legs...

Schezo:

(I made you cry!? Out of all the things to cry over...)

Serilly:

That's right. You don't have to be friends with someone like me after all...

Schezo:

...Don't talk about yourself like that.

Serilly:

Eh?

Schezo:

Don't say "I don't care about myself," in such a self-deprecating way.

Serilly:

Wh-wha...

Schezo:

In life, there's routes you can take.

2 routes, to be precise. One is to always look down like you're doing right now.

The other way is to be like me, always moving forward.

Serilly:

Always...moving...forward?

Schezo:

Yeah, as long as you give up on always being unhappy.

If not, you'll never move on, never change, and never be happy.

Serilly:

... ... ...

Schezo:

You should really try to be happier about things.

That's how you make friends.

Serilly:

Well, if I try hard enough, will you be my friend?

Schezo:

Yeah, alright. So just keep moving forward.

Serilly:

Y-yes!

Schezo:

(Sorry, I shouldn't be preaching...

Wait, what in the world am I saying? I don't care if this girl is happy or not...)

Serilly:

Um...Well, excuse me.

(She leaves and chest appears.)

Schezo:

What?

Even if the treasure is right there, I can't get it! Hey, go get it for me...

...There's no one here! What am I gonna do now...

-----

In the end, you'll always become her friend. Guess Schezo doesn't exactly have the heart to fully say no. You Are Not Immune to Serilly Propaganda.

Amazing scene overall though for both characters. And with that, I think that'll be all for this week.

Cya next week, guys.

[gothicvalentine]

I'm so livid right now! I don't normally get this angry but ffs. I'm almost shaking I'm so pissed off.

This is really, really long because I don't do brevity and because background is needed to understand the situation so this is continued under the cut. I'm on mobile though so I really hope it adds a cut. If not, I'll edit my post later when I get on my laptop.

Warning: in addition to being an extremely long post, I mention feeling suicidal so if that might be triggering to anyone, please skip reading this. Thanks!

:read more:

So I don't have water. Haven't for about a year and a half. Because my depression is so bad I'm I haven't been doing self care or housework for years (at least).

Things got so bad I finally decided to file for social security disability in mid March 2021.

We have a local agency here which is a Christian place that ostensibly helps people with things they need. They have a shower for use that I was allowed to use a few times (knowing it's there is great but I still have zero motivation to use it).

With no water, I've been buying gallon jugs of water when I still had some money or with my food stamps. With the price of everything skyrocketing, I've decided spending at least $5 a week on water could be cut to zero or a bit more if they didn't mind if I filled up 2 gallon jugs of water a couple of times a week.

After all, I wasn't using their water to bathe and they'd said another client came in to fill up water jugs so they said I could as well. They were the ones who actually suggested it when they interviewed me last year!

I stopped in last week and they're was only an intern there and she didn't know what to do so she asked someone on the retail side (or whatever--they have an attached thrift shop) since everyone else was in meetings.

I was given the ok and I filled up 2 jugs. I wanted to check this time before I just stopped in, especially since they were so weird about it last time, so I called and they picked up the phone today.

I don't know if this lady was an intern or not but she wanted me to come in for an interview again. I asked if that was an annual thing (because nothing has changed since last year) and she said she didn't think it normally would be, but they're had a lot of staff changes. They'd also like to talk and get to know me "to see if there's anything else they'd be able to help with." Uh huh, sure. You mean you want to try to convert me. 🙄

I was not happy about it and I think this lady could tell but I agreed and I guess their first available is not until next Monday afternoon. Since that's an entire week, I asked if I could at least fill up my water before then and she hemmed and hawed (fuck, I'm really dating myself aren't I?) and essentially said that no, I couldn't.

Her excuse was they they are closed Thursday and Friday and will be very busy the rest of the time and might be in and out of the office. Yeah because filling up a jug of water is going to take 30 minutes. And I'll need to be heavily supervised so I don't rob them blind while I'm filling up the water or something.

I wrote them off last year because I asked for help with some really tall weeds and brush, trees, etc. I don't have the lawn gadgets to take care of this on my own even if I wasn't too depressed to get out of bed to do anything. In addition I have a number of physical issues that make it really hard, if not impossible to do many things. (I think it's probably severe anxiety plus my gastroparesis, but I'm nauseous most days and vomiting some)

The place knew I had no income last year so they didn't ask me to pay them (they said they usually for a contribution) but they asked if I could help them remove the trees and weeds. I told them I would be willing to help if I was able to and felt ok that day. They said they'd need to meet with their volunteers and would get back to me.

Stupid me. I had thought nothing of telling them that I would be losing my home, probably before 2022 since I had no way to continue to pay my mortgage and even if I did, my home requires extensive repairs. Even the city sent a notice saying my roof needed to be repaired. 😳 (they never did that when I lived in Des Moines!)

When they finally called me back, they said they'd talked to their volunteers but the volunteers weren't willing to help me if I wasn't going to be staying in my home. Wtf?!?!

I had told the Christian place that the city had given me a notice that it needed to be done or they'd do it (and it would probably be several hundred minimum for the city to do it, plus you can't just not pay a government agency back--they will legit take your license until it's paid--I checked)

I was so stressed out but luckily I called the city and explained the situation and they haven't taken action against me yet.

I'm still in my home because the mortgage company gave me a forbearance then wrote off the late charges and everything. I was able to make 1 payment (barely) with a little leftover money I had from my LTD policy benefits that ran out in February, but it's ready to go back into foreclosure again next month.

I'm just so, so upset that I have to jump through all these hoops to fill up on a few gallons of water for the week--and because apparently Christians don't care if other people go without water or something. (and before someone @s me: #notallchristians)

Fuck my life.

To make things infinitely worse, I'm a hoarder. With no one to help me. So I don't have motivation to get out of bed or anything, let alone clean and pack . . . a normal house.

My home isn't normal and hasn't been for decades. And my therapist told me I'm stressing her out because I'm having so much trouble doing anything and have no motivation despite knowing if I don't act I'll lose even the stuff I value most.

I had a peer support person who was really nice and said she'd be willing to help, but she quit last week. 😭

I have family who know at least part of my situation but none of them have contacted me in months (and I'm always the one who has to reach out to them).

I stopped reaching out because I know being super depressed and negative is a downer for most (all?) people. Plus, since I'm struggling I don't want people to think that's why I'm reaching out to them.

Of course, I do really need help and it would be great if at least one person in my family was willing to be there for me at this time. (my daughter is helping out some financially where she can, but she's the only one) *fyi I can repay my daughter easily if I get approved for SSDI but if I don't (which I'm terrified will happen--how bad do things have to be? Are my providers even understanding how bad things are? Are they documenting this well?) and I end myself instead, she's the beneficiary of my 75k or so IPERS account.

I'm afraid that my home will foreclose and I won't get my stuff and instead of just giving up on my stuff, that I'll decide I can't go on without my things and try to kill myself again. I don't even think that would be a bad thing.

I'm so tired of constantly suffering. Why do people think it's ok for people to commit suicide if someone is terminally ill, but not for long term severe mental illness? I know mental pain is supposed to be fleeting, that suicidal ideation is supposed to be fleeting. But what if it isn't?

And what if you have a lot of physical pain and mental pain and it's just so unbearable when you feel like no one even cares? If your own family apparently gives zero fucks about you, how in the everloving hell is anyone else supposed to care?!?!?

Sorry for burdening anyone who reads this. I just don't feel like my family cares and my mental health providers are paid to pretend to care and I don't think they really listen or at least understand what I'm trying to tell them. What I keep telling them over and over. I just needed to finally put this out there somewhere.

I was going to post something similar a few months ago, but decided not to because 1) I didn't want to bring anyone down or stress them out and 2) I didn't want to risk a welfare check by the police or something.

I'm not actively suicidal atm (like with a plan and the intent) plus, cops are really bad at de-escalating situations. So bad that suicide by cop has crossed my mind. But I'm white and female so I'm not sure I'd be a sufficient enough threat for that to be a valid option anyway.

[taekxxkie]

I was just...thinkin’ about waking up next to soft, cuddly Namjoon.

The haze of sleep is fading and the very first thing you’re aware of is the heavy feeling of his half-hard dick nudging into your backside. Namjoon had just rolled over in his sleep and sought out the warmth of your body under the blanket, tugging you around your waist and drawing you in nice and tightly against him. His body’s natural response to the softness of your curves was immediate, and you shifted your hips back to grind into him appreciatively.

“Good morning, Joonie.” You mumble, stifling a yawn. He doesn't respond and you realize that he's, at least partially, still asleep. Rolling over in his slack embrace, you tuck yourself into his front, pressing a trail of kisses across his shoulder. “Good morning.” You say again, hoping to wake him up.

His only response is a soft grunt, and you smile against the warmth of his skin. Namjoon hugs you just a little bit tighter, before his grip falls lax again and you pause, waiting for him to stir himself properly out of slumber, but instead he drifts right back off to sleep in a surprisingly quick amount of time. You know he's tired, working as hard as he does and you really, really want to let him sleep. It's easy to tell yourself to fall back asleep in his embrace and ignore the poking of his erection at your lower belly, but it's much more difficult to resist the temptation of his warm, soft skin. Before long you're kissing him, fully intending once more to stir this resting man awake.

Your lips glide over his shoulder and neck again, tongue sneaking out for a taste. You move across his cheek with your kisses, pressing one lightly across his plush lips. Your hand lifts to caress his face, eyes scanning his features as he still sleeps peacefully.

He's handsome, but especially so when he's relaxed like this. You toy gently with his hair and admire his face just for a moment or two, thankful that your boyfriend is a heavy sleeper so you can get these special little moments with him.

Sometime later, you would recall this moment tenderly and smile fondly at him across the room, and he would bashfully smile back in that way he did when he found something cute, totally unaware of how much your heart ached to lay him down and study his every feature in adoration like you were right now.

Another gentle peck to his pillowy lips and your mind was made up; this gorgeous man of yours needed to roll over flat onto his back and you were going to wake him up the way he deserved. Your lips were on his collarbone first, your tongue lightly grazing the warm skin before you shifted downward, on a mission. Moving down his chest, his ribs, and finally his cute tummy got some extra kisses before you were carefully glancing up for his reaction as your hand made contact with the heavy bulge at the front of his boxers.

He was laying mostly erect and hugged to the side of his inner thigh, and when your hand made contact with him there his head suddenly lifted off of the pillow and his eyes, blurry, squinting and blinking hard, were trying hard to focus on you.

"Mm, good morning, baby." His voice was husky from sleep, deeper than usual. Namjoon reached with both hands to rub at his eyes in an attempt to help them focus on the sight of your face peering up adoringly at him while your palm smoothed over his cock through his boxers.

You smile, amused at how easily he wakes up when you're in this specific position. Your hands get to work tugging down the front of his boxers until his erection is free, and knowing how sensitive your man is first thing in the morning, you spend some time getting him ready. He always wants your hands first.

Delicate and sure in their movements, Namjoon watches with messy bed hair sticking up almost comically, his jaw slack as your fingers curl snugly around the shaft of him. You stroke nice and slow a few times, base to tip, taking care not to give too much attention to the sensitive head, at least not yet. When his tensed up thighs finally begin to relax, and when he lets out a low, breathy moan, you lower your head and take him into your mouth.

Namjoon groans and his hips nudge forward, shoving himself farther up into your mouth all at once and you draw back a little, trying not to gag. His voice is muffled as he says, "Sorry, baby...you just feel so good."

You work yourself up to taking more and more of him as you can, the warm, wet confines of your mouth and throat hugging him tight and stroking him just right. Namjoon stretches his limbs and flexes his hips up into you again but this time, you're ready for it. He grips your hair very gently, not wanting to hurt you, but he's worked up to a release already and he's right there.

Your name tumbles from his lips, and he's watching transfixed at the way your lips look so beautiful wrapped tight around his shaft.

"So good for me." He pants, desperately close to finishing. "Where do you want it, baby?" He asks, and even the filthy question sounds tender and sweet as his hands begin to gently stroke your face, petting your cheeks. You don't reply, you just look up at him from under your lashes, in love and wanting to give him anything, everything he wanted. "Will you swallow it for me?" He asks, a smile playing on his lips when you attempt to nod with his cock thrusting insistently in and out of your mouth.

It doesn't take long at all, not in the early hours of the morning when your man is feeling a little extra sensitive and his body is relaxed from a good night's sleep with you wrapped up in his arms. With your affectionate touch and adoring look up at him, he comes on your tongue, mouth wide open, and he's so in love with you when you swallow that he could weep, but instead, he reaches down and wraps his arms around you and tucks the covers around you securely, and he showers you with kisses and words of praise and affection.

[inappropriatewenning]

I keep trying to put a finger on why “the problem with jin guangyao is that he’s too ambitious” bothers me so much as an argument.  Because it’s one thing to say “he does really bad things to reach his goals,” but I often see the ambition itself cited as Why He’s Bad.  (I also see plenty of other reasons for hating him that I think are fair--he kills characters we like, he lies to characters we like, he eventually develops class solidarity with his father’s society rather than his mother’s...)

But “his problem is ambition” strikes me as a real misreading of the situation.

This is an incredibly ambitious world.  There are competitions left and right to test one another’s strength and skill. There are lists and rankings everywhere you look.   People duel each other routinely.   People strive to develop unique and powerful magic and fighting techniques.  The Nies strive for personal achievement with a toxic technique that almost-inevitably kills them.  Or heck, cultivating to immortality is a thing.  That’s ambitious!

(Readmore cut, because sorry sorry I get long here and a little incoherent. tl;dr: there are a lot of problems* with jgy that are adjacent to ambition but it’s inaccurate to say that ambition itself is the problem)

And it’s certainly legit, as a reader, to say “that’s all immoral,” or “that’s all missing the point of morality.”  It’s a fair thing to question!  Questioning the cultivation world is a big point in MDZS.  And then you can take a trip over to TGCF and meditate more on the moral dimensions of achievement and whether it’s better to be a lonely trash-picker or a prince who tries to save the world.  You could also distinguish between ambition for personal power (being a super cool strong cultivator who can kill lots of badguys) and political power (being a super cool strong sect leader who can direct public works to kill badguys).  That’s an interesting wrinkle and it’s probably worth looking at more some time.

But in MDZS I feel like the two people I see charged most often with “ambition (derogatory)” are Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng.  I’m not going to get into Jiang Cheng here, but...Meng Yao, man.

He has goals.  It’s true!  He has goals!  After his mother dies he attempts to enter his father’s world.  If you want to say that’s Bad Ambition, fair enough: again, you can say the sect world is morally flawed.  But in that case, I hope you’re also arguing that really it would have been better for little Wei Ying’s soul if he’d been left on the streets.  The only virtuous life is one of pure humility and suffering in the shitty old non-magic world. (Or is the argument fundamentally just that little Meng Yao from the brothel should have known his place...?)

Then, yeah, this is where most people would say things go bad.  For reference, I’m talking novel here, not CQL, but even in the novel the guy does bad things!  Murdery things!  Bad, bad, bad!  And haters are absolutely welcome to hate on the murdering, lying, etc.  MDZS is a hyper-murdery fictional world and we have our faves in it and we have characters we hate.  (...though tbh the only character i really hate is jin guangshan, i love pretty much everyone else even when they’re hurting each other, and i get really sad when i feel like i’m somehow supposed to hate character A because i like conflicting character B. but to hell with jin guangshan. there’s someone on an actual power trip, both personal and political.)

But when I see people say “oh the problem is JGY’s ambitious” rather than “the problem is he does bad things to achieve his ambitions” I feel like that’s...argh, such a serious misreading of the fictional world itself?  His ambitions are completely in line with the ambitions of all the other main characters!  Being his father’s son.  Navigating a difficult political world.  Not getting beat up or murdered.  The one thing that really stands out in-world is the innovative watchtowers, which, like.  Okay it’s a centralization of power, which you can maybe argue has proved a detrimental drive in human history, but it’s for the purpose of improving the general quality of life for people outside the cultivator class.

Well. Then there’s the other thing that stands out in-world: the ambition to leave the social class he was born into.  In-world, that makes lots of people angry.  But also when I pick things apart as a reader, it starts to feel like that’s...kind of what readers are blaming him for when they complain that “his problem is ambition.”  And there you are back at “Meng Yao from the brothel should have known his place.” 

Which I genuinely don’t think people intend to say, I’m not trying to be all GOTCHA YOU’RE BEING CLASSIST.  That’s a kind of fandom rhetoric I find harmful and unproductive.  But like...what are you saying if you say it’s bad for Meng Yao to be ambitious, and not everyone else?

* remember this asterisk from way up at the readmore?  it’s to say ahaha i lied there are no problems with jin guangyao he’s a precious angel who does nothing wrong not even once and he can have a little kidnapping as a treat

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

i played amnesia: rebirth and i really liked it and have some Thoughts(tm):

non-spoilery:

- once again mad respect to frictional games for being the only people who arent afraid of nudity. no censorship underwear.

-theres a non-spook mode for if you hate being chased by stuff

- diversity win! this guy who's the most pathetic little meow meow is gay!

- i didn't have to look up any walkthroughs!

-i tried it with both spooks on and spook off and having spooks on is better. embrace the spook.

-game has some pretty visuals and a neat story, and while i wish choices throughout the game mattered, there are different endings. p good game.

SPOILERY BEYOND HERE(do readmores even work anymore):

[[MORE]]

-as a trans(tm) the first person pregnancy was uhhhhhhhh. dont like that. but that feeling didnt last long, mostly because tasi was so happy about having a baby. its cute.

-that being said i didn't want to run around and jump and climb because TASI UR PREGNANT STOP DOING THAT

-it felt so much less lonely than the other two, it was nice to have a list of people that you were trying to find and meet up with

- i like how yasmine still tried to help even though she was becoming a harvester, she's such a sweetie

- dr. metzier was so mean to tasi, like dude. even if tihana hadn't been the one to bring down the plane, and the one to curse everyone, tasi still would have been in the right to keep her baby. everyone died because tihana killed them. none of it would have happened if she had just minded her own buisness, but the doc was just. so angery at tasi?? dude.

-at the room full of harvesters i straight up opened the door, saw that, closed the door and turned around

- shadow seems like a manifestation of all the pain inflicted on the other world, like its the opposite of the vitae. could b wrong but thats just my onion.

- best ending is the fuck u lady ending even though the shadow eats you and your baby

-hhh i wanna know more about the other world politics, especially about people fighting against the empress

Opinions on characters(that actually speak more than like. 3 words.):

Hank- hands down best dude. total bro, i just wish he didn't die by being hanged by the cable when you use the elevator. that was a bit. mm. tasteless? tone deaf? maybe dont hang one of the two black characters frictional games??

Alex- *insert second diversity win joke about rich buisnessman having the saddest most pathetic little meow meow as a boyfriend*

Richard- quality representation for us useless gays. terrified little meow meow. on a more serious note, i clocked him and alex from the first photo, and im glad tasi confirms that they're in a relationship, and that when you find richard, he's calling out for alex. i really hoped that you'd be able to stop tasi by struggling, but not so. i think it would have made for a neat thing if you had a choice with both him and the doc.

Dr. Metzier - speaking of the doc, i did not see him stealing the baby coming. he's such a jerk for blaming tasi, "oh you'd put the lives of all of us behind that of your child" like no my dude. if someone locked you in a room and said they were going to start shooting people if you didn't give them your baby, you wouldn't be the one responsible for the people being shot.

Leon- might be the only person from the Cassandra to survive? ik he looses his hand but he's still alive after. thats gotta suck, bc he's stuck in the catacombs/hunting grounds with all the other harvesters, so he's probably going to loose himself. i feel bad for him even though he's Pretty Dang Racist, bc he didn't do or say anything outright until after being harvesterized, so i think that had things gone normally and everyone got to the gold mine ok, he might have been able to Stop Being So Racist.

Tasi- legit didn't touch the laudnum after i realized she was pregnant, only to discover there was no effect on her. she's a nice lady, sucks that the empress decided she wanted tasi's baby. "hold x to check in on your baby" is something im going to say now.

Salim- aww cute husband shame he's fuckin dead. i wasn't expecting to find him alive but i still got real sad when i did find him. i like the details that tell you your marriage licence got denied and the photo saying 'how about we do anyways'

Yasmin- even as a harvester she's friend shaped. even puts her leg in a bear trap bc she doesn't want to hurt tasi. 10/10 yasmin is best friend in this game

Empress Tihana - i don't believe for a second she really meant any of what she said about saving tasi from the desert because a, she's the one who brought down the plane, b, she's sustained by endless torturing and claims she's not a monster, so forgive me if i dont think she's being honest. c, the major hazards of this particular area of the desert are her harvesters, actually. the entire crew of the cassandra, the french fort, the village, all those people are dead because she wanted someone else's baby. love her design tho very cool.

[queerautism]

i dont think it was wrong of you to criticize it, but i do feel you were being too harsh about the smut thing. it really is not uncommon for minors to do that online, and its important to be firm but gentle when explaining why its wrong and could hurt them and others. like, harassing people and making up dangerous lies is NOT something a teen does because they "dont know any better", but being too open about their sexuality (not sexuality as in orientation ofc) online and posting nsfw works publicly is. a lot of teens dont understand the risks that come with that

i also dont think it helps to make that issue about sysmedicalism bc it doesnt really have anything to do with sysmed ideology other than the fact that its something one sysmed does that another accused you/criticized you for. i dont think it says much about the sysmed community as it does for specific people. Like yes def there are other legitimately hypocritical mindsets with sysmeds where they openly engage in and endorse behavior that they criticize from the other side, but that doesnt scream to me as an example of hypocrisy in the community. more a teenager doing something dumb, risky and somewhat insensitive.

i am *not* saying you cant be harsh about blurrysys' behavior towards you. it was shitty and any teenager is old enough to know better. i just think its important to not always conflate all sysmed interactions with each other, and to keep your anger limited to the issues that caused the anger and warrant it

i hope this makes sense? im not trying to be rude, to nitpick and criticize you for the sake of criticizing. im legit the same person who sent the long anons saying fuck being nice to sysmeds, so tone policing is far from something i have any interest in. i just wanted to share my feelings on this

No i get you, the hypocrisy thing is about what sysmeds will call out when they can use it against us, but will not even mention when it's one of them doing it.

Blurry-star-system was explained why it was wrong and dangerous, and how to do a readmore on mobile. It's not like I'm gonna keep bringing this up or hold it against them as long as it doesn't keep happening or whatever yknow

[jigokuhana]

(some emotional crap under readmore.⬇️)

(feel free to ignore, if you dont wanna read me working through my feelings😅)

still dwelling on the shit that happened on thurs, but im getting stuff done to kinda take my mind off it. its literally only been 3 days holy fuck, get a grip rae

i think my friend is deliberately ignoring me for the time being because i did tell her not to talk to me until she cooled down, since she’s being fairly active on twitter rn.

also dunno if she’s doing so because she’s legit trying to distance herself from me because she’s mad at me for what i said which probably isnt the case, since she always wants me to be more upfront about what i feel, or ashamed for what she said i doubt thats right either, since she always says whats on her mind & isnt ashamed of being blunt.

i left a few messages telling her im not mad and that i’ll wait until she wants to talk after my initial response to her on discord, and she hasnt responded so far. but she’s more than likely seen them, since i saw her pop online while i was talking w/ other friends.

she’s working on animation stuff tho, so that might also be why she hasnt brought the whole thing up. since i know i would rather ride out any art drive i have, instead of getting into a conversation that would probably end up pretty lengthy & emotional. plus she’s a single mom, both her & her kid have covid rn, and she has bad paranoia which ramped up due to a recent issue w/ a now ex-friend, so its a rough time for her.

idk, maybe im too hopeful of a person. bluh.

i just like to get closure on shit like this so im not left spinning my wheels & letting my anxiety ramp up along w/ my guilt even tho i know i have very little to feel guilty over. i just wanna have a proper discussion about what she said, as well as both our feelings on everything.

because i rly have loved getting to know her, and being one of her internet friends. i help her with art, but i know she doesnt like to feel dependent on others when it comes to her story i help with, and has always asked if i was absolutely sure i wanna keep helping. she’s been so fun & nice, & likes so much of the same things as me, and im glad to have met her through a mutual fandom. and she’s also done so much for me as well she was gonna sell me that cintiq monitor-tablet for even less than $600 for me, & i had to insist on the original asking price XD. id just hate to lose that connection.

again tho, its only been 3 days & i know most of this is just my anxiety talking. but i just needed to get it all out.

[chronusbled]

alright kiddos we doing things nice and simple here for now. pretty comes later. rules under readmore, starting muse list is here ♥ once i get more bios actually written out, will set up a proper page for them all 

sup? the name’s TAE and i’m 32 years old. this means there WILL be adult themes on my blog, but things will be properly tagged as  [TRIGGER] // or NSFW // as a general catchall. i try to cover the main triggers and topics, but if i miss anything please let me know and i’ll make sure to tag accordingly. this also means that i unfortunately work a full-time job that can take anywhere from 40 - however many hours they want out of my week thanks to mandatory overtime. i hate it but the check is fat. as such this blog is going to be considered low-activity but i tend to find myself lurking often.  THIS IS A PRIVATE MUTUALS ONLY BLOG. i made this blog to help reduce stress and anxiety from my old main blog, mush as i dearly love it. i will not interact with anybody i do not follow, and most of who i follow will be friends, friends of friends, or people i’m genuinely interested in writing with.  Also for my own mental health, I DO NOT DEAL WITH DRAMA. any hate sent will be deleted on sight and blocked if possible. i try my hardest to not hurt or offend anybody or cause people strain, i ask the same be done to me. i’m too old to be dealing with high school shenanigans again.  I’M A SHIPPING WHORE. legit. i can and WILL make ocs just to ship with some of my friends, platonically, familially, or romantically. idgaf. all my ocs are considered multiverse / multiship unless otherwise stated in their bios or in a pinned post i plan on making in the near future !! want to ship? i’ll have seven headcanons for them at the ready as soon as you express interest. this is a threat and a promise.  i tend to prefer chatting and plotting over discord for ease of access ( and because i can type on my phone while i’m working lol ) but i don’t mind dms and ims here! i’ll just be a bit slower. i’m also down to rp on discord if you are, though my replies do tend to be much shorter for a faster paced rp experience there, but if you’d like to do something heftier i can do my best to match length ♥  AS AN OC-MAIN BLOG, I’M VERY OC / CROSSOVER / FANDOM FRIENDLY. most of my ocs start(ed) in the rwby fandom, but can very easily be adapted to suit almost any verse / may already have a verse set for other fandoms of interest. just ask! if they don’t have a verse already, i can quickly whip one up if i’m familiar with the source material. drag me into your fandoms, i’m begging you. for those interested, my main fandoms are RWBY, GENSHIN IMPACT, RDO, and ORIGINAL LORE.  any graphics on my blog / google docs do not belong to me unless otherwise stated. however i DO often draw my ocs. pls dont rip my art apart for i am soft ;lkj i don’t mess with passwords so there isn’t one here, but if you’d like to show that you’ve gone through my rules please like this post. tysm and i hope you have a good day, my lovelies! ♥

[chongoblog]

Zero Time Dilemma Review/Ramble

Okay, so if you’ve been following me, you know that I’ve gotten into the Zero Escape series, famous for 999 and Virtue’s Last Reward, streaming both games. I recently took the time to experience the last game, Zero Time Dilemma by watching cutscenes rather than playing it proper mostly because A) I heard it was REALLY dark and didnt want to risk it on Twitch and B) I wanted to experience it more freely like while I’m at work.

After experiencing it. I have......feelings about it. And because there’s MASSIVE spoilers involved, I’m making it its own post under the ReadMore below.

tl;dr LOADS of bullshit, flawed execution, and stupid decisions, but still REALLY enjoyed it

Okay so a LOT of this is going to be complaining, and like I said in the tl;dr I still legit enjoyed this game, so I’m gonna make this a compliment sandwich by saying something nice now, loading up on complaints, then ending with more compliments. Carlos is good. So is Sean. Sigma being voiced by Matthew Mercer actually makes him more interesting imo. I REALLY like Phi’s new design and the way they build on the initial concepts brought up in VLR more accurately portray the ideas that started all the way back in 999, that being the idea of taking thoughts across timelines, just like the player. From the beginning, the theme/gimmick was always “what if your character remembered information when you savescummed?” In 999 that began as flashes of information, and in VLR the characters’ consciousness actually time traveled at the very end. ZTD now uses the idea of the consciousness traveling across time and space and RUNS with it. I also think that Delta has a cool design.

I’ll be nice again later, but now for the things I Did Not Like.

Emo Moody Junpei makes sense from a writing standpoint, but that doesn’t mean I have to like him. Maybe I just got spoiled since Evan Wilson did a spectacular job with his deliveries in 999 and in ZTD it seems like his soul got sucked out. Not the fault of the delivery as much as it is the writing. Eric is bad, and I feel like that statement isn’t controversial. I don’t think anyone likes Eric, and if you do, then sorry for shitting on him so much, but god I just don’t like him. And the abusive childhood thing doesn’t give me a drop of sympathy, but then again I’ve always hated the writing trick that “this person is shitty and pathetic but it’s because abuse!” (see also Mikan). Diane is boring (sorry).

But I fuuuuuckin HATE Mira. I hate Mira so much. Like, at first I thought she’d be alright, yeah she’s definitely The Boob Character™, but I liked Lotus well enough and Alice grew on me significantly, so I don’t see why Mira won’t. Then she’s like “surprise I’m a serial killer”. Now if they just made her a serial killer, it would be kinda boring so I’m glad they TRIED something new. I just think the result was bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. Like....”hmm I never felt any emotions so when my mom told me they were kept in hearts I just ripped em out of people :)” is some garbage I’d write in middle school when I felt especially edgy. Also yeah seems p ableist. I won’t go too deeper into Mira, since she’s a sociopath and I don’t know enough about the actual disorder to put a candle to the real thing, but....bleh.

I won’t touch on THIS aspect for too long because I’m aware that it had barely any budget and it wouldn’t have happened without a kickstarter (don’t know the details), but the animation is just....so stiff. It really takes away from the dramatic impact some scenes are meant to have. But even IF the animation wasn’t stiff, I still am not a big fan of the darker and moodier direction it went. Although that’s moreso down to personal preference. Final note about the presentation (which is by far the game’s weakest aspect) is that I noticed multiple points in the sound mixing got to nearly Sonic Adventure 2 levels of being unable to understand what people were saying.

Alright. Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Let’s talk about Delta. This is going to make up a MAJORITY of this post so strap in.

Delta is a meme. There’s no other way to say it briefly. He’s just such a huge fucking meme. Almost everything about him, from his plan to his “complex” motives to his backstory to his powers. I mentioned liking his design, but fuck it. That’s a meme now too. Delta is the stupidest part of the game, and as much as I kind of love it, I also need to complain about it.

First let’s talk about Delta’s plan (because it starts with the nicest part of this segment). His motives are “complex” which is actually greek for “he’s probably either a liar, an idiot, or both”. I said there was nice things, so I’ll start with those. The very ending’s “ah ah ah. I never killed any of you in this timeline. If you arrested someone for crimes of another history, there would be criminals everywhere” was something I actually legitimately enjoyed. Yeah, intent was still there and he’s still a bastard (plus there was kidnapping and non-consensual drugging involved so kind of a stupid take), but I still thought it was a fun attempt. And also the “I had to make sure I was born” thing is a mindfuck, and I love those. Basically the first retort is “well I’m alive, right? So I don’t need to make sure I was born with powers because I WAS born with powers, which means it happened in another universe. So I don’t have to.” Only to then realize that we’re just in the universe where he DID do that but then the only justification is “someone had to” right? Wrong. Let’s talk about the rest of his “complex” motives

So I give a pass to “I had to make sure I was born”, but now we see why he had to do this whole deal and what he declares at the end of the game. That there’s some religious fanatic who intends to blow up the world and completely end humanity. And he released Radical-6 in the VLR timeline hoping that it would kill the terroris only killing 4 billion people instead of 6 billion people. In the timeline at the end of ZTD, he says that they had used this experience to hone the skills of the Shifters that way they could use their newly honed take down the religious fanatic WITHOUT Radical-6 and save the world.

What?

Now......before I tear into this.....I have ONE nice thing to say. The “unleash radical 6 and kill 4 billion vs let a terrorist end humanity” gambit IS cleverly foreshadowed with the radical 6 decision game with Q Team. But also wouldn’t that have made, like 1800 times more narrative sense to give that decision game to team D who KNOWS the impact of radical 6, or team C who he explains this plan to later on? Damn, even my nice thing was backhanded. Alright let’s REALLY tear into it.

FIRST of all, this is the exact same plot of Virtue’s Last Reward. Only difference is that somehow Akane and Junpei are just as skilled at this technique as Sigma and Phi despite the latter going to do Moon Training (granted the moon training was also to give them enough of a jump to go back 45 years). Speaking of Virtue’s Last Reward, this game also reveals that Delta is Brother, the leader of Free the Soul. A group of religious fanatics. So I wouldn’t be especially shocked if the religious fanatic is working with Free the Soul. But for the sake of this argument, let’s just say they aren’t with FtS. How in the Flavor-Blasted FUCK does he know this? Did somebody Shift back from that timeline and then just get Mind hacked (and we’ll fUCKING talk about Mind Hacking dont you worry)? How would that be the only piece of information known about the end of the god damn world? And if there IS more, then why the fuck wouldn’t you tell them the information? How does he know that it’s inevitable when apparently a god damn snail can unleash Radical-6?

I call bullshit on the “religious fanatic” thing. Wanna know why? Because at this point, Delta had already founded Free The Soul. He started this shit in 1938. At this point in time, he and the rest of the Free the Soul had already kidnapped Alice’s dad to create clones of his dead brother. He was pushing for a new world order and then in the VLR timeline, tried to PREVENT this whole thing from happening by sending Dio to the Moon. So if he actually gave a shit about “honing their abilities” then why would he do everything in his power to stop it? There is ONE out that there can be, but it’s something not even HINTED at (and I’ll talk about this later), but I think that "religious fanatic” is a big ol’ lie that he made up to try and save face when he was faced with a consequence, but even that explanation makes no sense since he’s like “lol shoot me if u wanna I wont mind hack you”

And let’s talk about mind hacking. Let’s fucking talk about Mind Hacking. Adding Mind Hacking was stupid, completely pointless, out of left field, and actively makes Delta a worse character. For those that don’t know, Mind Hacking is an ability that only Delta has (and I guess the player character technically but that’s a whole meta thing from VLR that doesn’t get followed up on) where you can read people’s minds and also fuckin control them. Why? Why was this necessary, ZTD? You wanna know what I thought was really neat? When I saw that different timelines produced different X-Codes. I thought “oh shit, I know this is Game Stuff, but the sheer foresight of the villain to do that? That’s some Moriarty shit.” It would require some insane explanations, but we’ve had enough sci-fi that we could imagine with enough advanced tech, you could set up systems that could use conditionals to give certain responses based on certain outcomes. Like if someone dies after the decontamination room button is pressed, then the central computer outputs a different X-Code than if it’s after the initial vote. Just make up a new tech that accounts for Shifting (plus the QUANTUM COMPUTER you have RIGHT THERE) and you could make a villain with so much calculated foresight that he’s just a god damn genius. But no. Mind hacking. None of that interesting stuff, just “lol I read ur mind idiot”. No outwitting anyone, just “lol get mindhacked eric u scrub bang bang”.

Honest to god, honest to FUCKING god, do you want to know how cool the final cutscene would have made Delta look if he walked out and just KNEW what happened in another timeline because of his plans. Like everyone recognizes him as Delta and he just goes “ohoho I see you had a fun time in my other timeline” using that deduction alone. But nah, he’s just like “yo I just mindhacked y’all, nice experience y’all had” I hate mind hacking so much. There’s no part of his plan where he NEEDED to mind hack in order to succeed that could have been written without mind hacking.

Now there’s a bit of a missed opportunity here that could both make mind hacking relevant, made his motive not shit, and also maybe even developed him into a SUPER interesting character! I know this is a bit fanfic-y, but hear me out. Make Delta a VICTIM of the stable time loop/bootstrap paradox. For those who don’t know, the bootstrap paradox is when time travel makes certain events happen seemingly out of thin air since they are their own cause. Basically it’s this clip from Milo Murphy. This is something that seems like it’s KINDA there in the subtext, but if they actually dove into it, they could have a GOLD mine.

What if we keep the mindhacking, and before he even MAKES Free the Soul, he mindhacks someone who experienced the events of the “religious fanatic”. But not just anyone. An experienced SHIFTer who made it their goal to stop this religious fanatic. After hundreds of attempts, they still fail. Delta sees this and determines it to be inevitable. So he’s having fun, cursed by the knowledge of an inevitable apocalypse. Then he meets Akane, Phi, Sigma, or Junpei after they had undergone the events of VLR and ZTD. He learns that particular timeline. A bleak future, yes, but one single future where humanity is alive. He sees two futures, one in which all of humanity dies, and one where he is the leader of a religious cult that wipes out 4 Billion People with a deadly pandemic. And the idea of being that person disgusts him. He despises it. But he’s completely resigned to fate. He knows that things must go precisely as he’s seen at the price of humanity, too frightened by such a burden to even take a toe off of the predetermined pathway. His motive is that he’s so tightly bound to fate and so afraid to let it slip that he has no choice but to commit the atrocities, despising himself for it every step of the way, but considering it better than the inevitable alternative. It would give a purpose for the mindhacking powers, it would give him a solid motive, and it would make the ending SO much stronger, showing the contrast between a group of SHIFTers confident that they can change fate and the man who is completely resigned to his own. Fuck, I might steal this character concept because I REALLY think this idea would work to make an interesting villain!

Like I mentioned, this is KINDA there in subtext (with him quite frequently saying “life truly is unfair”) and this could be an interpretation of the character, but if ZTD had explored that theme, then holy hell what an interesting character Delta would be.

But even WITH this fix, holy hell, this plan is stupid. Because guess what, dingus. You just created like 30 new timelines that all end in annihilation.

He coulda said ONE line about “even if there is only one history that ends nicely, that is solace enough”, that might have been dark, but still powerful. You know, add some depth. But instead, he’s just like “hmm hmm shoot me”

And the Q Twist? I’m honestly not as mad at it as I should be. On one hand, it does that cute thing where there are little bits of foreshadowing so when you rewatch it, you notice little bits like shadows and stuff, but on the other hand, there are PLENTY of points where either the camera just straight up lies to you and doesn’t show him when he should be there or Delta’s just been fuckin SHMOOVIN on his wheelchair around the room constantly to stay out of the camera and everyone’s just been kinda chill with it. Maybe if they had been more careful with the camera it could have delivered a TOUCH better. Like, even if the shots are a bit off, that’s noticeable enough to be part of the hint, no? I don’t have as much to say about this, mostly because this post is getting long as fuck so I’m gonna wrap it up so I can move on with my life for a bit.

So even with ALL OF THAT, I still enjoyed playing the game. That’s right, compliment sandwich time. The three wards all being one ward was a really neat reveal. The fact that you can shoot Delta in one scene is creative with its replay value. I’m glad they touched on the philosophical idea of what happens to the people who made it out from the coin flip only to get SHIFTed into the exploding lab, and exploring that idea was fun. I absolutely lost my mind at the idea of the gun to sigmas head had a random chance of firing and then seeing it elaborated on in the dice scene directly after it. Gab is a good boy.

Cant wait to play AI

[tropicalfreckles]

SPOILERS AHEAD FELLAS SONIC 2 SPOILERS (in a readmore cause im not a dick)

I made ugly gremlin sounds during the whole movie quietly and bounced in my chair like a fucking child

Every time Sonic, Tails and Knuckles did anything together I legit cried a little, guy this movie was fucking amazing and it had FUCKING SUPER SONIC. I gotta draw stuff from the movie, like Knuckles with Tails on his shoulder like ahhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this movie was fucking amazing oh my god oh my god I really really really hope I get to see Chaos and Metal Sonic at some point in this franchise but I'm gonna lower my hopes a little cause idk what they have planned for the future. Also cause you know, no going in order hwich is FINE I just really really at the same time want my fav stuff ahjsdkfs

Also I love Rachel a lot I enjoyed her during her part in the film she was fucking hilarious/awesome, what a queen

This movie would've made kid me jump out of my chair in the theaters and cry out SONIC, it was so fucking fun

Hoping to see Rouge and Amy in the next film hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

They did reveal something in the mid credits scene I will not say just so y'all can go enjoy it for yourself.

Once again I think I just died when I saw Super Sonic like IT'S SUPER SONIC GUYS WITH THE RED EYES AND EVERYTHING

Also I noticed the chaos emeralds like dipped out and are no longer in the Master Emerald sooooooo hunt for the emeralds next film???? MAYBE TORNADO 2????? HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I really really hope that if Rouge is in the movie they have it like SA2 when she's working for the government as a spy.

[ennui-gt]

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

-

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

[burlesque-articulation]

Alright, I pulled out my corkboard and red string again, this time in hopes of dissecting the MAG timeline to see if there is anything there to support my fan theory of:

~Could Jurgen Leitner be Martin’s Dad~

And so far, signs point to a solid "it could be possible”. So in lieu of this, I will be presenting all my evidence with exceptional bias so it better illustrates my desired outcome. Okay? Okay! Let’s get into it.

Let’s begin with 1985, when Jurgen Leitner supposedly begins renting an office in Pall Mall, central London. Presumably this is just where he sets up an office, and not the actual location of the Library, which isn’t something we get-- anyways, getting sidetracked, uhhh.

Right, we know, vaguely, that Martin was born in 1987, two years after Leitner would have set up shop in Central London; and interestingly enough, in that same year of Martin’s birth, Leitner attempted to hire some people to dig a big ol’ hole in the floor of his office to lead into the tunnels built beneath the building. And this could just be wishful thinking, but I believe it is implied that these tunnels connect to the other tunnels of Millbank Prison. Interconnected, and with many exits leading to various parts of the city. Basically, a needlessly intricate means of escape (I guess balconies and back doors just didn’t exist yet, you know) should shit get real. Anyways, the point I’m trying to make, is that it would make sense for Leitner to suddenly be very interested in having direct access to these tunnels from his main office after receiving news that he’s a father, or whatever. Or maybe it’s just because he’s always been a loser that loves vibing in tunnels.

[Obligatory readmore, because this shit gets long, and even more ramble-y. Also I’m not sorry, because y’all are more than welcome to continue scrolling past this mess]

Alright, now fast-forward to 1994, the destruction of the Library. At this point in time, Martin would have been 7. Now hold up! According to the Magnus Archives Wiki, Martin’s father abandoned the family when he was 8 or 9; so isn’t that a whole in the theory right there? No. It’s not. Because the only thing that is implied about Leitner around 1994, is that he went into hiding after the destruction of the Library. At no point is it implied that he even left the country (or even London, but like, I refuse to believe he’s that stupid; even if that alternative is hilarious). To set up my point, I’m going to shift the focus onto Martin now, and what his life might have been like when he was younger.

So, by present events (present actually referring to like, pre-season 4, actually), Martin’s mother is in a care home in Devon. Could be because care homes are cheaper there, or something, I have no idea. Honestly people in my family don’t live long enough to ever even consider this option, so I don’t know how assisted living works at all lmao. But let’s say, for simplicities sake, that Martin actually just grew up around Devon; and I’m throwing a dart at a map and declaring Plymouth as the city he grew up in. Anyways, why does this matter? Because I do in fact believe that Leitner is stupid enough to think that changing which county he lives in counts as being in hiding. And he gets maybe one (1) good summer with his family before the weight of his sins bare down on him, and he realizes that staying in one place really isn’t an option. So maybe he tries travelling around a bit; but inevitably he always ends up coming back to Plymouth. It takes him a year, maybe two, to finally realize that this won’t work forever. His habits are too predictable, and what’s this? The mother of his child is getting sick; and her condition only seems to worsen over time (you know, like how it usually works when someone is taken ill.); and Leitner gets it into his head that he could be the cause of it; so what is the safest course of action, but to completely abandon his family? Surely things will turn out for the better for them all if he were to just... disappear. To cut ties entirely, so as to make sure no one ever comes after them in an attempt to get to him.

And that worked out fucking great, didn’t it.

Bunch of unimportant stuff happens, and eventually Martin ends up dropping out of school, presumably only a year early from graduation (weird but fine); and it’s safe to assume he eventually ends up traveling to London in hopes of better job opportunities. Plus, if he’s gonna be lying on his CV, probably better to head out of county to some place where no one knows him from anywhere to begin with, right? That makes sense, and none of you can say otherwise.

And where does he find himself sliding into a new job position? Oh, that’s right; at the Magnus Institute. In the Library. I’m just saying. I am just saying, that’s a little interesting. I mean, he lied about having a degree in parapsychology on his CV; so if Bouchard really wanted to play along like he thought the CV was entirely legit, it actually would’ve made more sense to put him in Research, or even in Artefact Storage with a degree like that. But nope, Bouchard put him in the Library. Though, I guess we don’t know exactly what all might’ve been on Martin’s faked CV. But I swear to god, if we get bonus content that’s just Martin’s faked CV and it even hints at him working at a “family library/bookshop” I will spontaneously combust.

Regardless, in 2009, supposedly (according to the wiki), Martin began working at the Institute. Personally, I always thought he started working there in 2010, but that doesn’t matter. I actually like 2009 better, because then a year later, Leitner apparently begins working with Gertrude Robinson. Which I find interesting. I mean, really there’s no reason for them not to work together, I just find the timing of it interesting. Of course, Leitner (in MAG80) alludes to the fact that Gertrude was likely only working with him because there was a lack of anyone else around. But that really only explains Gertrude’s interest in Leitner. What attracted Leitner to the Magnus Institute in the first place, I wonder? Aside from the fact that it’s essentially the Library of Alexandria of research on the Entities. 

But Leitner had managed to stay out of public eye for about 16 years, why would he chose right around then to start playing peekaboo with the Beholding? Rhetorical question, of course. Y’all should already know exactly where I’m going with this line of questioning. Martin. Martin is what lead Leitner to the Institute, and to Gertrude. Dude just wanted to check up on his son, and now he’s just as trapped as everyone who works for the damn Institute because of all these weird rituals and shit. Plus maybe there was another reason why Leitner went through so much effort to help Gertrude, even putting himself on the line for it; and I think we can all agree that Leitner is a pretty selfish dude who’s only real character trait is being like a fucking cockroach. Straight up, the only way to kill a cockroach is to beat those suckers until they pop like a fucking pimple-- sorry, I’m actually getting ahead of myself, I don’t want to talk about that yet, um.

Leitner’s biggest character trait, and on some level, character flaw, is his Self-Preservation instinct. When the going gets tough, his own health and safety comes first. But maybe he gets a bit sentimental in his old age, and maybe he struck a deal with Gertrude; if he helps her stop the Unknowing, (or actually I think it would’ve been the Dark’s ritual first), she will bring his son down to the tunnels so Leitner can see how he’s grown, and maybe even talk to him. I just think that would be interesting character motivation; because at the end of the day, it’s still a pretty selfish motivation. But at this point, Gertrude’s only other option for help is a teenaged Shadow the Hedgehog wannabe; so she’d likely agree to just about anything for the extra pair of hands. And given what later happens in regards to the Dark’s ritual, which then results in Gertrude’s death; Leitner gets scared back into his hole in the ground.

But hey, I guess things actually kind of worked out for ol’ Jurgen. Because like a year later, his son* (*allegedly, according to apparently no one but me) starts living in the Archives. It’s like he’s living in his son’s basement, he can just pop up for tea and say hi whenever. Maybe complain about all the bugs that keep crawling around. Or not, because Jürgen Leitner is a coward. But I 100% would not put it past him to shuffle his old bones up into the Archives to stand creepily at the edge of wherever Martin was sleeping and angst quietly at the sight of his son. It’s creepy, funny, and sad. Basically a peak TMA scenario right there.

Then Leitner gets brutally piped by Bouchard. Actually, can I say it like that? “Piped” isn’t some kind of... new-age slang for something, is it? God, I hope not. Anyways; Leitner isn’t just beat upside the head with a length of pipe, but literally pulped by Bouchard (or at the very least implied so), in a way that makes identifying the guy difficult enough that he remains a John Doe straight up until Elias confesses to the murder. Now, obviously there are plenty of reasons for this; given that both Daisy and Basira are familiar with the name Leitner, so presumably other sectioned officers would be as well; so there was at least a slim chance that whatever officer got sent to the Institute upon the discovery of the body might just recognize Leitner immediately. But, and sorry to sidetrack here, but there was just one thing that really stood out to me about Martin. One thing that always stuck with me, that for some reason was the main thing that made me thing Leitner could’ve been his dad.

Martin looks like his father, whoever that may or may not be. It is explicitly canon, that Martin looks like whoever his dad is. So wouldn’t it be better safe than sorry for Bouchard to beat Leitner to a pulp wherein no one could easily discern any major features of him once he was found. After all, it would make things rather messy and a bit too complicated if everyone who saw the body was like, “wow! That looks just like you, Martin.” So really, it’s for the best that not only did Bouchard kill Leitner, but he thoroughly did so. 

And so, I will end this already way to long of a ramble with the one thing that solidified me on this theory, and Spoilers for Season 5 of MAG, but... In MAG181 Salesa says, “Now you mention it, you actually remind me of Jurgen a bit. In his younger days of course.” to Martin. Of course, Martin did just shoot out a snappy one-liner about books, but... it’s the clarification of Jurgen “in his younger days”, that gets me. Mikaele could just have easily said something about Martin just “sounding” like Leitner. But the way this reads, and how it’s spoken, even, it seems more like someone that might’ve been looking at Martin for awhile, squinting at him as if he’s seen that face somewhere before, and then right when Martin mentions books, it finally clicks. After all, it would’ve been almost 20 years, or possibly more, since Salesa would have left Leitner’s employ.

So yeah, I admit this theory has a much weaker backbone then my Banks/Folger post, but... I just think it’s neat. And it’s another one of those things that actually doesn’t have any affect on the major plot whatsoever. I dunno, maybe it was meant to be some sort of subplot early on that got ditched or something? Point is, that’s all for now, and with any luck, I will never post another crack theory again, and the TMA tag can be safe from my ramblings once more.

[ijustwantagoodurl]

Venting rn :( hoping this readmore trick works gang

IM. THE AUDACITY. LOOK IM . THE??????

AU D A CITY???? OF IT ALL???? IM TRYING TO NOT FUCKING FAIL MY CLASSES W.HY NOW .WHY . hurhufr I just HAPPEN to be in town bc yr ex step dad is a COWARD and needed his MOMMY to step in with his divorce . ARE YOU INSANE. ARE . IS THIS LIKE. LEGIT???? can we have tea . Can I bring u a little gift . YOUR SON GOT DIVORCED YESTERDAY AND YOURE LEAVING ME A GIFT??? ALSO LIKE. COUKR SHE USE EVIDENCE OF THE PORCH BEING DIRTY IN COURT?? SHE SHOULDNT HAVE EVEN BEEN THERE. I????? this is on. SO MANY LEVELS. n o t my fucking problem but here go these bitches knowing that I have to maintain peace no matter What the Fuck Happens cause we're gonna be family again someday like. What kind of . "Hahah I havent texted u in months but on this, the day your parents are getting divorced, is the best day for me to reach out and see if u read this book." MAN YOURE COOL AND KIND BUT THIS SHIT IS SO 🤢 🤮 "lemme drop yr little gift on the porch" DONT GET NEAR OUR HOUSE. BRO. BE REASONABLE YOU LOST IT IN COURT YESTERDAY. CH ILL. STEP . OFF!!!!!!!

WHY DOES THE LORD TEST ME SO!!!!!

[capsgirl19]

wait I wanna hear about the gay subtext and wasted potential of teen beach 2

Okay, strap in because I don’t do elevator pitches. Major spoilers for Teen Beach Movies 1&2. And a readmore because this is LONG!

SO. Idk if this is a common observation, but it seemed fairly obvious to me that Lela fell hard in love with Mack over the course of the first movie. She felt trapped by gender roles, obligated to pursue a relationship with a boy over and over again, never even considering that there might be something more until this girl unlike anyone she’s ever met crashes into her life saying that she can do anything men can do, that she doesn’t have to fit into a little box. I legit thought the scene in her bedroom might be her confessing to being gay, though I knew it wouldn’t be. And like... the necklace exchange? The extended hug at the end? Not to mention in the second one, she’s desperate to escape her own universe so she can be with Mack again, desperate to live in a world where she’s allowed to be her true self. The fact that Brady turns into a garbage fire in that one doesn’t help my opinions on the canon pairings, either. By all rights, Lela’s story in the second movie ought to be a tragedy. She escapes a world defined by rigid expectations that she be in a relationship with a man to get back to the girl who changed her life. And she makes it! And she’s happy! And then it turns out everyone she loves will die if she doesn’t go back to her own life. She makes this tremendous sacrifice to save her entire universe, and honestly a sad gay story is cliche, but imo better than doing what they actually did with that ending.

As a little aside, can we talk about the unbelievable amount of lip service in these movies that the second one undermines with its entire plot? In the first movie Brady was kinda dumb, but a seemingly good boyfriend. Mack was so about Girl Power that she was trying to bring third wave feminism to the early sixties. In the second one Brady is sulky, jealous for no reason, dumps his girlfriend because HIS TRASH ASS fucking forgot they had plans, and never even has to apologize for it. On the contrary, Mack apologizes to HIM! When she never did anything to so much as suggest she’d find his interests stupid! I digress, sorry, it pissed me off to no end.

That finished, let’s get into the meta. While I don’t think the writers realized it, they wrote a super interesting multiverse. We’ve got the prime universe, the one Mack and Brady are from, which is the one all the others spawn from. My theory is that literally anyone can create a universe by writing about one. The intricacy of the created universe is based on how much worldbuilding goes into it, and the better thought-out the universe, the stronger the fabric of reality surrounding it will be, and the harder it’ll be to change from its intended path. This isn’t a new concept, but there’s an interesting level of equity in the fact that secondary universes can rewrite the entire timeline of the primary one if they change enough. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Wet Side Story is a sleepy little universe, not much thought put into how it runs at all. The characters sing and dance their way through the same summer over and over again in a contented daze, like the lotus eaters of the Odyssey. And then along come Mack and Brady, to stretch at the delicate chiffon of this simple place. The characters closest to them begin to stir from their trances, and there’s no way to go back. No way to unknow. Only an endless summer, a stretching eternity of pretending, and Lela can’t stand it. With barely a few months between, she’s pulling that fabric in the opposite direction trying to get back to the girl who captured her mind and her heart, currently in a failing relationship. And then she has to go back. She doesn’t want to. Mack seems to wish she could stay, if only for Lela’s own sake. She and Tanner return to their own universe, but not before Mack tells her that she can control her own destiny and shape her universe to her whims. Lela takes this to heart, becoming the solo star of the film. It’s too much. The thin fabric separating her universe from the primary one tears as she severely alters its timeline, allowing her to throw Mack a leather jacket matching her own through a movie screen, and shoot her a sly wink as she dances along to the movie. This is the end of Teen Beach 2, and oh boy, do I have sequel ideas.

Here’s the setup: so. Lela goes home. Whoever wrote the movie she’s in has long since abandoned caring for the universe they never bothered to build a world for, and their grip is weak. It’s easy to wrest the pen from that loose hand, to bend her world around her until it suits her desires, and she writes a great story. But it still feels empty. Lela is the queen of the beach, but her friends still seem their happiest playing their new roles, over and over again. She ascends to godhood, taking the reins of her own universe, but it’s lonely at the top and she’s as high as a person can go. She is peerless. She has nothing but time to ponder the nature of everything, and to yearn for the only equal she ever had.

The final film doesn’t open with her, though, and this one’s a fuckin’ doozy. Think Infinity War (the comic, not the movie, and maybe a little bit of Marvel’s Illuminati plotline too) meets a lesbian pulp novel. It opens with Mack, a few years later, now in college studying oceanography. Things keep sort of... glitching out. The camera pans past a character or scene from Lela, Queen of the Beach, or maybe even Wet Side Story, but when Mack looks back at it it’s always normal again. She decides she’s being silly, and it’s just been awhile since she watched her favorite movie, so that night she makes some time and puts it on. Lela herself steps out of the screen after one of her numbers and restores Mack’s memories of the timeline that got dead-ended by Lela’s alteration of her own universe. Mack is thrilled to see her after so long, and they hug, Mack explaining what she’s been doing in the time they’ve been apart. For Lela, it’s only been a year, and she never aged to begin with. Lela tells Mack how she took her advice, she changed her movie, but things were still so unbearably lonely. She tells her that whoever created their multiverse is cruel, that they had no regard for the people within, but that it’s alright. Lela knows how to handle indifferent creators, after all. She’s going to merge it all into one universe, no hierarchies, that she personally will oversee. She’s come to ask Mack to rule at her side.

Mack is afraid of her power and afraid of her ideas. She tries to talk Lela out of it, but to no avail. Lela is deeply sad that Mack doesn’t see things her way, but out of love for the other girl and a genuine belief that she’s too powerful to be stopped, once again forging her own destiny, she folds the necklace into Mack’s palm and returns to her own universe to continue her work.

Mack and Brady went their separate ways after high school, not on bad terms, but because a long-distance relationship didn’t seem realistic. This is the first time they’ve spoken since she left for college, but Brady is her only hope for someone who might understand. She manages to jog his memory, and they have to work together to try and prevent Lela from remaking all of creation. There are posters throughout which serve as markers of how close she is to achieving her goals, shifting gradually closer to their final form: Lela in iconic pink jacket leaning against the side of a motorcycle on a black-sand beach, a galactic sky behind her. The title reads, “LELA: QUEEN OF THE MULTIVERSE.” This is also the working title of the third movie.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s all I got! How does it end? I don’t know! Probably Lela doesn’t merge the multiverse into one place, because that’s never a great plan. Maybe she just gets to live in Mack’s universe and go to college and find a girlfriend and have a good life? And her movie’s about Tanner and Bucky now (bc holy god there’s not as much of a story there but Tanner is fucking gay as hell), but it has the same story as the original? That might be good. Could also be called “Mack and Brady Save the Multiverse” idk.