alltherelicsofalifelonglived

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

ok but for real

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

hate sneezing and then all your bones hurt

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

i need to pull my spine apart like legos

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

hggggghhh save me tylenol

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

loose emu spotted near my location

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

alright im subjecting you all to sick brain

i saw art of doomguy sitting on the dude from postal's face and i want you all to know that exists

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

hhhhhhhggggggg. sick. constant feeling of needing to cough

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

Happy Friday Emmrich fuckers

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

question because i'm curious...

+ tell me your favorite pokemon/reasoning in the tags i'm nosy

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

my fav of the regional monsters in dredge! (alternative title is POV you are me looking for sailfish aberrations using bait and you didn't notice how late it has gotten until you hear The Noise)

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

Happy Valentine's Day 💕✨

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

Lovingly nicknaming him Mason

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

fun thing about dredge is like. the familiarity of the unknown. like sure the various Horrors are scary when you first encounter them, but soon enough you learn where they are and how to avoid them and like, sure they’re dangerous and sure you don’t fully comprehend them but like. give them a wide berth you’ll probably be fine. which is exactly the mindset that any person who was hired to go fishing for a living in the eldritch nightmare town would end up in. yeah the anglerfish have come up to the surface and their lures are clearly designed for me but like. i’ve got bills.

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

strange things from the deep

alt vers under cut

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

Ebenezer Scrooge: Goes outside

500 Muppets: There goes Mr Asshole! There Goes Mr Bitch!

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

hey dredge is free on epic games right now