#i know you would. bc i know the true me and i fuckin hate him.

[ribbonzregretz]

posting so much rn bc im losing my grip on reality but i stay sillyyyyy

[wegc]

perv!channie and reader finally fucking but she teases him the whole time until he has had enough. “you’re such a fucking pervert” and “you’re so disgusting” all while she’s grinning at him and riding him like her life depends on it. he’s literally a second away from cumming as soon as he’s inside her. “you really think you deserve to cum? after fantasizing about fucking your best friend’s sister?” she denies him to cum for so long that he finally snaps and flips her over, pounding into her like a madman. “such a tease, you whore” and “don’t have much to say now, huh?” she cums so hard but he’s not done. even after he cums, he aint done either…

OK IM DONE AHHHHHH (please feel free to finish or add on or write more to it bc i would v much appreciate it)

i’m ascending. something about cocky!reader paired with a perpetually flustered, perv!chan is such a mouthwatering combination.

perv!chan whose cock twitches inside you every time you humiliate him with yet another reminder of how repulsive and depraved he is; he can’t bite back immediately because you’re right. he’s nothing but a disgusting pervert and he’s fortunate that you aren’t completely appalled by him.

when you grip the base of his cock and guide him inside your dripping cunt, chan feels like he could pass away beneath you. every delusion of his, whether it emerged in his bedroom or your washroom—a mere room away from you—was coming true and it was far better than he had ever imagined.

all he can do is pant and whine under you, taking in the sight of your tits bouncing in his face and the cute flush of your face, which scrunched up in pleasure. most importantly, the feeling of your cunt—the warmest thing in the world—took his breath away; his cunt, all his—he’d make sure of it.

the overwhelming feeling of being inside you, the epiphany and high of all his dreams and desires coming true right before him has his poor cock pulsing inside you, seconds away from cumming. each flutter of your cunt, each moment your fingers teased his nipples or when your hot, wet mouth whined against his had him feeling lightheaded—he knew he wouldn’t last long.

and your teasing—while it did turn him on, it also infuriated him. god, you were such a fucking brat—a mouthy little handful. did you frankly know what he thought of every time he stroked his cock to the image of you? you wouldn’t be behaving so pretentiously if you knew all the things he yearned to do to you, all the positions he’d bend you in, all the fondling and groping he had dreamt of, all the mean and obscene remarks he’d taunt you with, all the ways in which he would make you beg for more. you had no fucking clue.

before you even realize it, you’re pulled off his cock and manhandled to your hands and knees, where the drilling of chan’s cock seizes your breath. he’s suddenly so deep inside your cunt—you swear the tip of his cock might kiss your cervix—and you can scarcely catch some air every time he snaps his hips to go harder.

chan would grin, smacking your ass, laughing shakily at the sounds of your yelps and wailing with each drag of his length. your face is buried in his pillow, but even that hardly muffles your loud sobs and pleas.

“god, you don’t ever shut up do you?”

“fuckin’ brat, you want more?”

“dirty little thing, you’re just as gross as me.”

“you feel like a whore, don’t you? doesn’t it make you feel dirty, knowing everything i’ve done? you hate that you like it, don’t you?”

chan, who fucks until dawn, cumming continually inside you and pulling out periodically to observe and engrave the way his cum oozes out of your gaping hole. he feels so pleased as he takes in the bruises and marks he’s littered on your body, marking you as his. or even better, the way your eyes gloss over, looking at him desperately with tearful eyes. your hair is dishevelled, draped messily across his ruined sheets, and your lips are bruised with his kisses and nibbles, lipgloss pathetically smudged away.

“so fucking pretty—my pretty girl, yeah? you wanna go again? can’t go without me, hm? need me so bad to stop all that fussing, right?”

“you’re all mine now, you know that? can’t fuck you just once—can’t have you looking at other people.”

[pedroshotwifey]

Hello

My drabble ask is infidelity 🫣 with Joel.. but readers current bf is really toxic and doesn't treat her well and she's planning on leaving him anyway and Joel says that he doesn't want to share and that he wants to be with her 🥺

Oh I can't tell you how excited I was for this 😈 I might have to make another infidelity fic bc holy shit 👀 (obviously I don't condone this behavior irl, but ooo is it hot in fic)

*****

“Oh shit,” Joel grunts. “Little wider for me, baby, you’re too fuckin’ tight. Poor lil pussy ain’t been gettin’ fucked right.” 

Your face heats at his words, but you obey, whimpering as you help him spread your legs further apart, your muscles aching in a delicious way paired with his cock dragging in and out of your slick cunt. Your back arches, your head getting thrown back onto your pillow as he hits something devastatingly deep inside of you. 

“Fuck, Joel,” you whine, pussy fluttering around him. You feel like all your senses have been cut off, your sole focus on the way he’s stretching you out for him. 

“Tha’s right, baby, call my name. Sounds better than that fuckin’ boy you think’s so good for ya. You know he can’t make you feel like this. His dick’s probably as shriveled as his damn brain.”

You hate the way your pussy clenches upon hearing Joel talk shit about your boyfriend. It’s wrong—god, it’s so wrong—but it feels so fucking good. You know he can hear the way you fake coming around Liam’s cock most nights, knows the difference between the way you moan Joel’s name so gutterally and the way you have to say your boyfriend’s like it’s an obligation—a chore. 

It took him a few weeks to get you into his bed. A few weeks of him comforting you after fights and tantrums from your boyfriend. A few weeks of you trying to hold back your lustful gaze from your much older next door neighbor. A few weeks of you ignoring how he looked at you the same way. 

It took your boyfriend hitting you for you to finally listen to what Joel was telling you, what you knew was true. 

Joel was there waiting at his door when he saw Liam leave the apartment. It’s a good thing he didn’t see what happened before, because he probably would have killed him. You slept with him that night not only to distract him from your freshly blackened eye, but also because you came to that realization. 

Joel would do things for you that your boyfriend would never even consider. It wasn’t until he split you open on his cock for the first time, gave you four orgasms, then fed you, showered you, and held you tenderly until you fell asleep, that you understood that’s what you deserve. What Joel kept insisting you deserve. 

You deserve the way he’s making you drool right now, using your legs as leverage to pummel into you at an ungodly pace. You deserve the way you both fall apart at the same time, clinging to each other and moaning and licking into each other’s mouths like you’re trying to consume each other. You deserve the way Joel showers you in dirty praise as you pant and catch your breath after coming for a third time. 

And Joel deserves the way you’re going to go back to your apartment and pack your shit tonight.

****

More drabbles here

[supermarketbae]

hi! did u miss meeee😇 can we have missionary sex, dom billy takes full control of sub reader. He kisses her tears away, praising her for taking his big cock, lots of wet sounds and billy just pounding u into the bed. Thank you🥰🥰🥰

DUH ofc I did love! Grrrrr I’m on my monthly and this isn’t helping my intense forever hornyness so WELLPPP-

Well Aren’t You Pretty?

warnings: dom!Billy, sub reader, manhandling, light choking, p in v, praise, degradation, dirty talk, reader is fem, dumbification, slight breeding kink, idk what else tell me if I missed sum (not formatted bc it’s me also the pic is not meant to represent readers skin tone I Js think it’s pretty)

Your brain was simply melted. Scorched even. You felt like warm honey was trailing slowly down your spine covering your supple body as your boyfriend, Billy, kissed and suckled on your neck as he whispered filthy things in your ear that had you clenching your thighs together in need. “You’re quite warm.” Came the cool low drawl. You shiver as Billy smirks down at you, lips slowly parting to reveal sharp incisors which he darts his tongue across. The room felt sticky, like a humid summers day and as Billy’s ocean colored eyes look down at you, you huff softly, eyebrows furrowing as he climbs on top of you. “I wonder why that would be.” You coo back smiling impish as Billy takes a strong hand to your cheek, caressing your skin before tilting your chin up and kissing you on your lips fiercely.

“Fuckin’ brat” comes the ever quick reply. Billy’s deep voice never failed to strike a cord of arousal deep in your belly. You wiggle your hips suggestively as you scrunch your nose “You love me though.” You say it as a statement because you know it’s true. Billy shakes his head in amusement, a true smile gracing his tanned face as he nods kissing you once more. You giggle as strands of his sun kissed blonde hair tickle at your face. As much as he’d hate to admit, you have Billy wrapped around your manicured finger.

But, as he dragged his finger down the valley of your perky boobs you keen softly looking up at him with pleading doe eyes as your lashes flutter sultrily. “That shuts you up every. Fuckin’. Time.” Billy bites warmly in your ear. His muscular thighs caging you in hotly pressed against him. Shaking, you look up at him submissively, biting your lip as he grins meanly, placing his mouth inches from yours as he ghosts “And I fucking love it too.” You whine at this, bucking your hips up into his trying for any form of reaction. You get it. Billy licks a strip of your neck “I want words sweetheart.” He sighs and you can feel a bulge as you buck your hips up again.

“Stop teasing” you stutter voice pitchy. Billy chuckles darkly at your writhing whines, wincing as your breathy voice sends heat shooting to his nearing painful hard on. He was going to fuck you until you couldn’t walk he mused, lips quirking up at the thought. “You want me to stop darlin’?” he groans feigning hurt. You could tell by the timbre in his voice that he was going to play you until you broke. “N-uh-No!” You protest quickly and you’re fast to realize your mistake as Billy’s eyes darken in possessiveness. You gasp turns reedy as Billy slips a hand into your shorts index finger rubbing sharp circles into your clit in a way he knows short circuits your brain. “Then want do you want doll?” Billy drags out the pet name innocently. You know what he wants. And you know what you need, so you swallow your pride and beg. “Puh-ah- please fuck me Billy.” Your soft cry has him groaning as he feels a distinctive drool of his cock. “Well aren’t you a pretty little thing” Billy whispers as his large hands grip your waist-much to your delight- as he pulls you down closer to him.

“Gonna fuck you so good sweetheart,” Billy smiles kissing your cheek as your back bows and you arch up into him moaning at his words. “Such good fuckin’ manners,” he continues nipping at your collarbone. “And good manners deserve a reward huh?” He growls as his right hand snakes to your neck addictively. You claw at his bicep holding him as his fingers slip into your gushing cunt. “Bills-ah-Billy please I need it” you whimper, the soft nickname not passing Billy’s ears.

“Such a greedy little pussy hmm?” At this snarky regard Billy thrusts his fingers quickly in and out of your throbbing hole. Mewling you shudder, red nails creating crescents in his golden skin. “Baby please I-oh fuckkk~” your eyes roll while your hips instinctively attempt to cant closed. Billy’s grip on your calf stops this however as he guides your shorts and panties down quickly to have better access to your sloppy cunt. You blush, mouth forming into an oh as Billy’s eyes glaze at the sight-and sound of him working his thick fingers into your tight core.

“Such a good fucking girl,” Billy mumbles husky, as the wet sounds of your glistening heat reach his perked ears, Billy inhales shakily and starts to rut his hips into the mattress as your eyes turn hazy and tear filled from pleasure. “Billy!” Your voice is breathier still and much higher, but the way you say his name has him moaning yours back lowly. “Look at this darlin’ she’s practically leaking for me.” Billy coos referring to your pussy, one hand still placed over your hips holding you down.

As your hole gives a telling repeated flutter he grins evilly and you whine so close to cumming on his fingers. “Are you gonna cum for me doll?” Billy asks deep voice adding to the tight coil in your tummy. You nod vigorously, opening your mouth to speak but only a strangled little sigh slips out. “The only way you’re going to be doing that-” you nearly wail as Billy pulls out his coated fingers, cunt clenching as he brings them to his outstretched tongue to lick them clean. “Is if your creaming on my cock sweetheart.” He finishes. You can’t help but to let out a small keen at his words. You can feel them in your chest clawing their way to your heart and squeezing. Maybe that’s why your heart skips a beat as he pulls down his boxers teasingly slow.

Billy’s head cocks back as the flushed head of his red, weeping dick hits the cool air. You stare at it unabashed and wanting as you trail your eyes up the veins to his glistening slit. “See something you want?” Comes Billy’s forward teasing lilt. Nonetheless though, he grins eyes flashing as you nod needily and whimper for him to rail you. He quirks his brow at your panting silence, so you gasp out “please put it in—ah!” Your indignant plea is cut short with a squeal as he thrusts into you easily and to the hilt.

You cry softly as Billy’s hips piston into yours fast. It felt so good— the rhythmic push of his hips into yours. And as you whimpered and pulsed around his girth Billy let out a loud groan, much to the delight of your cunt that continues to gush around him and tighten warmly. “Feel so-oh fuck—s-so fuckin’ good” Billy slurs into you as his eyes screw shut tightly before opening once more. You relish in the way the corn flower blue of his iris’ are hidden by his blown pupils. The pussy drunk look on his face matched a similar look of pleasure that was upon yours. 

“Always look so gorgeous crying on my dick baby~” Billy murmurs to you hotly as he bites the bottom of your ear, the sting was gentle, shocking you back from the hazy state your mind was in. You gave an appreciative moan and clench around him, your voice betraying you. “So—mmm-so big Billy-ah- make me feel so—so good.” You squeak out. Billy’s drunken grin widens at your praise and he somehow ruts even faster into you. Your body goes slack yet stiff at this your hands clawing into the sheets as well as Billy’s back attempting to anchor yourself to something�� anything comforting as your hole is abused again and again. At some point your thighs must have closed again because suddenly it all stops.

Your brain is moving slow and out of focus, like you took a picture and forgot to zoom back in. You’re highly aware of Billy’s strong, warm hands tracing down your figure. You arch into them for comfort until you realize their sinister task. You yelp as his Billy growls lifting one of your legs to his shoulder holding you spread wide for him to do whatever the hell he wants to you.

Billy wants to ruin you.

You can see it in his eyes as his face drops closer to yours. The intensity of his gaze has you shutting your eyes but now gripping onto his shoulders as he gyrates his hips into a slow grind. A slurred moan melts out of you as Billy’s hand, once again finds its place at your neck. “Eyes on me pretty girl.” Billy commands evenly. Immediately your eyes snap open, your brows still pinched. In this position, he was so much deeper, rubbing against a spot that had you seeing stars.

“fuck me~” is all you can choke out whimpering so soft it’s barely audible, but Billy hears you. He complies with a slow deep thrust that has you, again clinging to his bulky biceps. “Right there huh?” Billy groans as you arch up into him “yeahhh right there sweetheart—f-fuck— I can feel this tight little cunt milking me.” He whines into your ear. The only thought in your brain is Billy, and as he fucks you hard and deep, it’s the only thing your brain is tuning into. You inhale shakily when you realize you’ve forgotten to breathe.

Billy swipes his thumb over your lip as you drool, tongue stuck slightly out from the overwhelming pleasure you feel. “Yes—ah-oh fuck please please I-harder!” Your voice warbles pornographically. Your eyes roll back as the tightened hotness in your belly nears snapping. You’re so very, very, close.

“Please-Nuh—no don’t stop-m-‘m gonna c-uh!” Your confusing mewls spur Billy on as his abs tighten he gives an answering shuddering gasp “wouldn’t—ah- wouldn’t dream of it darlin’” he rasps. Billy doesn’t hold back as he moans “come on—mmm- cum on this cock, s-show me how good I make you feel love.” And at the pet name you shatter the tightened coil of arousal in your belly finally snapping, oh so addictively. You attempt to thrash, but are held still by Billy’s arms caging around your body.

The way your warm velvety walls clench around Billy’s leaking cock is enough to send him over the edge as well moaning your name as he spills into you dribbling, as he continues to fuck his cum back in. As he continues to move, you grab his long hair pulling his face to yours as you kiss his plump, bitten lips needily. A few sloppy thrusts later, Billy’s hips still and you pull away breathless from the hot and heavy kiss. Happy and totally satisfied in Billy’s larger body atop of yours.

“You alright?” Comes the now loving drawl of your boyfriend as a dopey smile spreads across your face. You merely giggle, snuggling closer into his arms as you nod “Just peachy.” You snicker. A responding chuckle into your shoulder tells you that Billy heard your silly antics. “I don’t think I remember my name.” You mutter.

You’re only half serious.

Billy kisses your cheek before nipping your collarbone one last time “Then I definitely fucked your brains out doll.”

[brucewaynehater101]

Ok so I saw a post u reblogged and it lead me to this fuckin thought

(is it a good one? Idk man)

Yj but Shiva is there. She's already trained Tim, which makes him hers (in the sense that she made him) (in a similar but opposite way to cass. They are both her children).

Yj on their own are pretty morally grey. Tims hard limit is killing, and yj follows that but the second Tim doesn't, they don't.

Bruce I hc as not reading the yj mission reports bc if he did he would've made Tim into an unbeatable baseball player just in case after the One time. And he never did that so he clearly never read them.

But years later Shiva rocks up to the watchtower (we all know she could) and asks for her Kids.

They're like fuckin WHOMST

Surprise it's yj. The clone u didn't care for, the speedster you didn't want, the child you hated for who his predecessor was, the children you failed, not just physically but emotionally. Who you never thought about beyond the burden they put on you.

They fuckin it up with lady Shiva.

Tbh I hc that if she found out ab cass she'd fuck up the loa bc she respected Tim enough to not force him to kill, so I doubt she'd knowingly let it happen.

So to me she's calling them to destroy the loa and David Cain. Tbh yj would kill on this mission. No records, just murder and they tell the jl "we partied!!"

The way you explain your reasoning behind Bruce never reading YJ mission reports is 100% true. That man, after reading such a report, would've made sure Tim knew how to play every single sport in existence. Honestly, it could have been a cute bonding moment of them playing sports (are there ulterior motives? Yes. Could still be nice).

I'm also vibing with your good mentor/parent Lady Shiva. I wonder if, in this AU, Tim does the whole killing and reviving Shiva thing. Would she be proud?

Anyways, good on Lady Shiva for accidentally adopting all of YJ. Let her give YJ the morally grey support they need

[iiotic]

｡‧High School Sweethearts༻༉

Human! Alastor x Fem! Reader

༉‧.tw - Toxic relationship, cheating (not alastor nor reader), swearing, manipulation, mentions of death, murder and kidnapping, slight nsfw?? Situationship Please inform me if you'll find more.

༉‧.words - 3.4k

༉‧.a/n - High school sweethearts and your good friend combined!! Bcs I'm not continuing this series. I really hate how I wrote "Your good friend" which was the part 2 and I simply don't have the motivation nor ideas to continue it.

"Can we just be honest?"

"These are the requirements."

"If you think you can be my one and only true love."

You've been in many relationships before. Not even a single one worked, you were devastated, so you decided to give yourself a break from everything. You thought that you needed to focus on yourself more and many agreed with your decision.

However the fact that guys were practically drooling over you at school, wasn't helping. They truly just went for looks, they'd leave you after becoming more popular and having his way with you.

You were so sick of that. Can't you just have a healthy relationship? Whatever, you didn't care anymore.

"You must promise to love me."

"And damn it, if you fuck me over."

"I will rip your fuckin' face apart."

Numerous rumours were spreading, fast. You had absolutely no idea why. You didn't do anything stupid nor risky this time.

It started with harmless jokes about you being in love with the new guy, Richard. He quickly became popular as girls thought that he was very handsome and they weren't wrong. He was quite charming.

The rumour quickly stopped when Richard started courting one of the girls in your class, Dorothy. Girls were fuming with anger at the sight of him and her acting all "lovey dovey" as people called it. You were relieved, Dorothy was such a sweet girl.

However then their relationship crashed. One rumour said that Dorothy dumped Richard for being "Selfish" and for having "a big ego" then another rumour said that Richard dumped Dorothy for having a poor family. Their relationship went on and off again. You didn't really care as long as it didn't applied to you.

"Step one."

"You must accept that i'm a little of my mind."

Then fate decided to punch you right in the face or rather Richard with his boldness. You were just walking to your next class with your small group of friends and then he approached you. As the conversation quickly tuned down he started his little speech.

-" Doll, I have decided to give you this honour, of going to the prom with me." - Richard declared taking one of your hands, looking definitely not at your eyes. -" So, you're welcome."

You looked at him with disgust, what makes him think that you'd ever want to go with him? What makes him think that you will ever go to the prom? You weren't going to. Snapping back to the reality, you quickly snatched your hand away from his grip.

-" The audacity to even ask me that."- You said, looking at your friends. Some of them were already giggling and some of them stared at you with confusion. -" The answer is no."

He chuckled nervously as you continued. -"I thought that was obvious? Why would i ever accept your "invitation"? Besides Dorothy would be truly heartbroken to hear that you don't want to go to the prom with her. I heard her talking about a new dress she just bought and I bet she will look stunning. So why won't you ask her out? Shoo.. Before I will tell the whole school about this conversation.

He was just standing there, truly shocked, mouth open, no words left. Richard snapped back to reality after hearing your friends laugh at him and his stupidity or maybe his state?? You didn't care you just wanted to go to class without any disturbance.

"Step two."

"This is a waste if you can't walk me down the finish line."

As days passed by, more and more people asked you out. You always politely declined. You didn't even know most of the people who asked you out, never saw them in your entire life.

Besides its not like you were going to prom anyways and even if you wanted to, you'd like to go with someone who is important to you. Someone who'd care about you, someone who wouldn't use you for looks or popularity.

"Step three."

"Give me passion, don't make fun of my fashion."

However at the time, you didn't realized that there was a boy, your age, watching and admiring you from afar. He like many other boys thought that you were quite attractive, but he knew that he was out of your league.

You didn't even know he existed besides he heard that your "requirements" were almost impossible to fulfil. Rumours said that your standards are very high, and that's because you aren't in a relationship.

Alastor didn't know much about you. All he knew that you live close to eachothers and that you have a good sense in fashion. Well not many knew that because the school required school uniforms.

He always wanted to start talking to you, but never actually did. What would you say? You'd probably just laugh at him like at that kid on the hallway. So Alastor decided to try something different..

"Step four."

"Give me more, give me more, more.."

Some days ago you found an anonymous letter in your locker with a single rose attached to it. You were not really surprised by the rose itself however it made you smile and you appreciated the small gift. You were shocked upon seeing a letter so well-written, it made you blush slightly as you read word by word what someone wrote about you.

Saying how someone adores everything you do and they even complimented your handwriting which, you thought, wasn't very attractive.

After seven days you sound a little key chain, a letter and once again a rose attached to it. The letter was still as good as the first one, it made you smile. From now on every Thursday you found a letter with an rose attached and sometimes a little gift with it. You've got a secret admirer.

"If you can't handle a heart like mine."

"Don't waste your time with me."

"If you're not down to bleed, no, oh."

Your secret admirer never failed to make you smile, after a month you grew more and more desperate to know his identity. You'd watch your locker all the time to see if someone is putting something in, eyeing every single kid that walked by.

On another Thursday you pulled out a letter and a rose attached to it, as always. You really wanted to make a whole bouquet with it, you always carefully put them in a vase when you came back.

On that day a guy saw you pulling it out, thinking that it would be a perfect idea to make you think that he wrote all the letters and carefully trimmed all the tosses you received from an anonymous person.

Little naive you believed him and soon you both started dating. You really thought that he would be a little more romantic and charming in person but who could complain? You were happy that someone actually loved you and cared about you just as much as you cared for them.

Soon the day of the prom came and you agreed to go with your partner. You were getting ready for hours to make sure you'd look good for him! You really hoped he'd like it.

However you grew a little suspicious why the love letters didn't stop.

He picked you up at 7 just like he said he will. It was quite the quiet walk, nobody dared to speak for some reason, it was almost uncomfortable. When you arrived he suddenly vanished. You spend all the time getting ready just for him to walk away like that? really ungentlemanly behaviour.

You really didn't have much time to think about it, as your friends dragged you to the dance floor, you were dancing your heart out. However then the slow dance started, you quickly had to scramble off the dance floor as you didn't really want to interrupt other couples. Besides you really wanted to find your boyfriend to dance with him.

And then, once again, you felt like you just got slapped across the face, your own boyfriend dancing with someone else. It really would be fine if they weren't so close to eachother, eyes closed and lips almost touching. You just wanted to dissaper.

Heartbroken you ran out of the building, to get some fresh air. Tears streaming down your face as you thought about all the memories you shared with him. Everything was a lie. You sat on the edge of a fontann, your makeup completely ruined and your hair a mess.

After a minute or two, you heard footsteps approaching. You didnt bother looking up at this someone, since you weren't in an amazing state right now. The footsteps stopped and the wind alarmed you that someone sat beside you.

"How could he do this to me?" You wondered, kicking your heels off.

-"Are you alright?" You heard a masculine voice ask, empathy radiating from his tone.

-"Do I look alright to you?" You murmured, not wanting to look up at him nor wanting to talk about anything that happened.

-"My apologies, dumb question." After few minutes of sitting there in silence you finally decided to look at the anonymous someone who sat beside you.

Your eyes were met with a boy, your age. Brown-ish hair, caramel skin and mesmerising chocolatey eyes that were looking directly at you. He was wearing a black suit with red accents. his lips were formed in a small smile.

-" This might seem rude, but i saw everything what happened, and I think that guy was just a waste of your time. A pretty lady like you deserves so much better." He stated, trying to make you feel better. As much as you wouldn't like to agree with some random dude you never saw before, you have to admit he was right.

This was just a waste of time.

"If you can't handle."

"The loving, the smothering."

"Til you can't handle it no more, no more."

"Go home."

You soon learned that the boys name was Alastor and you had to admit that he was such a gentleman. He was always so polite, always opening doors for you, pulling the chairs, helping you with anything you'd ask. He was quite the charmer.

You two quickly developed a good friendship and Alastor even introduced you to his mom! She was such a sweet woman, she raised her son perfectly.

When you first met her you were nervous, very nervous for some reasons, but you relaxed seeing that she accepted you and even made you her famous jambalaya. It was delicious.

"Can we just be honest?"

"These are the requirements."

You were bored, extremely bored, so you decided to write out all of your "requirements". You always heard that you had high standards, but you highly doubt thats true. You just wanted to be loved and accepted the way you are.

You sat on your bed, shuffling through your drawers to find an empty notebook. After some minutes of searching you found it! noting that you have to clean your room soon.

You grabbed a black pen and began writing..

"You must promise to love me."

"And damn it, if you fuck me."

"Over, I will rip your fuckin' face apart."

Your notebook soon turned into a diary. Besides the requirements, you began writing your secrets, likes and dislikes, how's your day been as well as your little crush that you slowly started developing on your friend, Alastor.

You weren't sure that your feelings were reciprocated. Hell, you even began wondering if he thinks that you're his friend. However you had an other mission, finally finding out who your secret admirer is.

"High school sweethearts, line up."

"They're trying to waste my time."

"High school sweethearts, shut up."

"If you're not my type."

It was extremely hard to find out who it is, 'couse you weren't going to school anymore. The letters with a rose attached to it started appearing at your doorstep. "So this certain someone knows where i live.."

You decided to tell Alastor about you secret admirer, thinking that maybe he'd help you find them. He agreed, holding in a laugh at your stubbornness.

You were gathering clues all day but then it was time for Alastor to go back, take care of his loving mother. Before sleep you decided to grab the pen and write something in your diary..

"Step five."

"You can't be scared to show me off and hold my hand."

"Step six."

"If you can't put in work, then I don't know what you think this fucking is."

"Step seven."

"This one goes to eleven."

"If you cheat you will die, die."

As for the guy you went to prom with? You didn't know where he went. He just suddenly dissapered, vanished. Pheraps he moved houses? Maybe he had an accident?

Whatever happened to him, you were glad that he was nowhere to be found. You just couldn't bare to look at his disgusting face, again.

However you discovered something more surprising. You caught Alastor, sneaking in on your parents property and leaving the letter with a rose that knew oh so well.. By now you have a whole bouquet, just like you wanted.

You just wished that he wasn't joking about all the compliments he gave you. That he was just lying, making fun of you. You really wanted for him to be genuine about them, about all the things he wrote.

You decided to keep it a secret, waiting for the proper time to say that you discovered his secret or pheraps when he'll tell you it himself? By now your crush on Alastor has grown so much that you couldn't even look him in the eyes. Always blushing slightly when he's around. You've fallen for his charm.

You had all these fantasies and cravings when it came to him. If you didn't do anything about it you would just burst, so you decided to vent to your best friend.. You diary.

"Could you hold me through the night?"

"Put your lips all over my mine."

"Salty face when I start cryin'."

"Could you be my first time?"

"Eat me up like apple pie."

"Make me not wanna die."

"Love me rough and let me fly."

"Get me up, yeah, get me high."

"Tie me down, don't leave my side."

"Don't be a waste of my time."

Alastor really didn't mean to read it! You just left it open on your desk and curiosity got ahead of him. He really didn't mean to read you fantasies nor your secrets. What kind of gentleman was he?

Then the guilt hit him in the face, he really shouldn't be reading your private notebook. He should respect it, he should respect your privacy.

Alastor closed your diary, in a hurry, when he heard your footsteps getting closer. Quickly sitting on your bed, pretending to be interested with your room decor.

He saw the way you hide the notebook as soon as you saw it laying on your desk. After he asked you what it was you brushed it off quickly. He decided to keep it a secret, waiting for the right moment to confront you. However he was glad that his feelings were reciprocated..

Soon you and your good friend, Alastor graduated highschool. You planned on going to college, however you were struggling with degree course and you didn't have any money.

Alastor, however had full scholarship. He worked hard through entire highschool to go to his dream university. You were so proud of him when you found out about determination.

You got a job at a local coffee shop, as a waitress. It took you a long time but you finally got your first job! Soon enough you moved out from your parents house and rented your own, small apartment.

At first it looked terrible; windows broken, wallpapers hanging off the wall, some of the panels of the floor were missing basically a whole disaster.

But somehow you managed to make it look quite cozy! Of course it took a long time and some financial help from your friend, Alastor. Obviously you told him that you didn't need any help, that you can manage on your own even though it was a lie, however he didn't take "no" as an answer.

You didn't want to admit it but you were extremely grateful for his help. Without him you wouldn't be where you stand right now. He was always so caring, kind and comforting you when you needed it. Such a gentleman..

-"Here's your order Mrs.Lraise. "- You said handling her the coffee and cake she ordered, from the plate with caution.

-"Ah thank you darlin'!" She said not being able to read your name out of the ID. "You're such a sweetheart. "

-"I'm just doing my job." You said before walking away to continue your job. Putting the plate away you heard a familiar voice calling you. You turned around and your eyes were met with the familiar mesmerising chocolatey eyes.

-"Dear, I'm ready to take my order" Alastor stated now putting the menu back on the table. You walked up to him, taking your notepad with the pen from your pocket.

-"Proceed"- In that moment his angelic voice was taking his order. Black coffee with no sugar nor milk, as always. Of course you remembered him order, he was a regular and was your best of the bestest friends.

-"You know i didn't saw you come in." It was a lie, even in this busy cafe your working at you could feel his presence. Your eyes met his as you write his usual on your notepad. -" I'd recommend our new cheese cake, it tastes amazing."

-"Well I can't blame you, I can tell you're quite busy at the moment." He stopped to fix his glasses. -"And thanks but you know I'm not a big fan of sweets."

-"And you know that's our policy to reccoment new things." You chuckled quietly, taking your leave as you heard other, this time unfamiliar voices calling out to you. -"Your coofee soon will be with you, sir."

At the end of your shift you waited patiently for Alastor to come and pick you up. He suggested that, knowing that you end your shift after the sun dissapered. It was quite cute of him. Caring about you like that..

You didn't really want to admit it but your feelings for your childhood best friend never faltered. You knew that woman was basically hanging and fuming all over him and you couldn't bare it. He was a popular radio host, you knew that but oh the jealousy was rising more and more.

Your deep thoughts were interrupted by familiar footsteps and soft humming coming in your directions. You looked up to be met with his soft grin.

-"What's a such a buetiful lady doing alone, at this hour?" Alastor joked around, offering you his hand to hold onto which you gladly accepted. You thought for a moment as you started walking.

-"I don't know, waiting for someone to kidnapp me? Or pheraps waiting for my prince in the shining armour." You decided to play along, chuckling softly. "Is that so?" You heard him mutter. The next thing you knew is that the rest of the walk was surrounded by comfortable silence.

After some minutes of walking, you finally arrived next to your house.

-"You know you didn't really need to walk me home, Alastor." You smiled at him. -"I could manage on my own." You both stopped in front of your front door.

-"Oh please, dear.."- He chuckled. -"I wouldn't want someone ruining this pretty face of yours." He took your hand in his, kissing your knuckled lightly. You blushed slightly at the gesture, not sure if it was noticeable in the moonlight. You both said your goodbyes after that, him leaving you speechless with his charming words and gestures.

You opened your frontdoor, seeing your adorable sleeping cat, Sophia. You were extra careful not to wake her up since she was sleeping on the front mat. Deciding to leave her be, you waddled into your kitchen, wanting something to eat.

Your mind wandering to the events that just happened. You thought carefully about every word Alastor said and then you realized. Almost fainting, your face turned red. "Oh my... Has he called me pretty and buetiful in the same day?"

[thebearer]

when teddys like two or three months you and carl are in a patch of him not being around and he comes home one day and she gives him no reaction or loves, and someone she sees frequently she is gummy smiling at them

oh this would wreck him. like the freezer scene has nothing on what this would do to him.

so the bear is doing really well. like really, really well, but they've got some competition. this new restaurant is moving closer and a little too close. they already tried to take marcus and syd, and carmen is stressed, falling back into his old ways. he feels like in a way he got himself here bc he had a baby and got lazy in a way- distracted, is more like it. as awful as that sounds, that's how he felt.

teddy's about six months and carmen's been at work non-stop. comes home late, if you go to the restaurant he barely has time for you, he's tightly wound and hateful- loses his temper quickly. richie tried to talk to him, tina, too; and he told them the same thing- to mind their own business.

you miss carmen, you do. but when you tell him that, he tells you he's here now- now being when he's practically collapsed in bed beside you.

it's the roughest patch the two of you had ever been through, and carmen doesn't even seem to realize it. until one day. the other restaurant got moved to the other side of the city- something about the building being mysteriously shut down for shoddy wiring (uncle jimmy had nothing to do with it!!)

carmen's feeling good. feeling like he can breathe again.

comes home early and you're surprised. he's happy and excited, but when he goes to teddy, she cries.

that tiny baby cry for you, just a little whine of sorts that she does when a stranger tries to hold her.

a stranger.

"teddy," carmen coos, trying again. "it's daddy, teddy bear."

teddy just turns into your shirt, whimpering and clinging to you. you watch carmen's heart break- the fall of his face, eyes widening into horrified realization.

"i think she's cranky, carm. it's her nap time-"

"she doesn't even know who i am." carmen's tone is hard- hurt.

"no, she's just a little sleepy, carmen. look, teddy, look," you coo, bouncing her lightly to coax her out of your chest. "look, baby, it's daddy."

teddy seemed to recognize the word, eyes lighting but she didn't relate carmen to that. blinking and looking around like she was looking for her dad. carmen's face crumbled, running his hands over his face to keep himself from sobbing in front of you.

you didn't know what to do, how to make it better. "i'm going to smoke." carmen rasped, voice tight with emotion, snatching his cigarettes off the table and going outside.

he called the only person he knew to. richie. breaking down, raw and emotional, begging him for any sort of advice on how to make it better.

"cousin, she's a baby. you got time to fix this. she won't even remember this-"

"-she doesn't even remember me." carmen sniffed hard, knee bouncing as his chest bubbled over with that familiar painful panic. "my own kid doesn't know who the fuck i am. what the fuck richie? what's fuckin' wrong with me. all i ever do is fuck everything up-"

"-hey, cousin, i'm stoppin' you right there, ok? let me be honest with you. this ain't about you, ok?" richie huffed. it was mean and cutting but it was true. "this isn't the time to be feelin' all sorry for yourself and shit, ok? you left your wife alone with that baby and you've been a real jagoff- like i said."

carmen hated it, hated that he was right, hated how he felt.

richie continued. "instead of sittin' in there like an asshole, why don't you go inside, take a few fuckin' days off, and get your shit together."

"cosuin, i-i can't do that-"

"- holy fuck, carmen. ok, let's try it again, alright? go inside. quit being a self loathing jagoff piece of shit, and take a few days off to be with your wife and kid, ok? i got the place for a few days." richie snapped.

"richie, we're booked for the next-"

"-look, do you trust me or not?" richie snapped.

"yeah, yeah, i trust you, c'mon." carmen muttered.

"then i got it, alright? if i need you, i'll call you, but for right now- your family needs you. if this was tiff or eva, i wouldn't even think twice about it. go be with your family, and fix this shit, you dumbass." richie huffed.

carmen took richie's advice. finding you in the bedroom, folding teddy's teeny tiny baby clothes. it made carmen sob. heavy heaving cries and mumbled apologies while he clung to you.

the next four days, carmen wouldn't leave the house. wouldn't leave your side or teddy's. he'd gotten her hesitantly out of the crib, eyes red rimmed when he cooed at her and changed her. she didn't cry this time, even giving him a tiny gummy smile that had him emotional all over again.

[theitgirlnetwork]

Better

Ch. 12: Welcome to the Shit Show Baby

Note: ...Heyyy...how ya'll doin? I know it's been a minute, I apologize. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait. I want to address the fact that this story is not over, I was worried my absence would give that impression, but there's still a lot that still needs to happen lol. As always, I'm thankful for all of the love and support. You guys are so sweet and make writing even more fun. Speaking of ya'll, not you guys saying yes on her behalf, damn, it's been 3 months, lol. Next chapter should be out at some point this weekend, meanwhile I hope ya'll enjoy <3 (also keep an eye out this weekend bc I'll be announcing new characters I'm gonna write for along with some sneak peaks, spoiler, one of them is my return to JJ.)

Warnings: Sexual content, explicit content, MDNI (FR FR don't make this shit weird)

Charlotte's Wedding Dress That's Not Really a Wedding Dress:

Charlotte's Hair and Veil:

Lip Being Hot in His Suit:

The Flowers :') :

Charlotte’s mouth opens and closes a couple times, no words making it out. She stares at her boyfriend, waiting for him to crack a smile, or say, ‘m’just fuckin’ kiddin’ and pull off to drive them home. Minutes pass as she watches the clock on the car tick, the changing numbers taunt her as she tries to find her words. Unfortunately, all she lets out is a breathy laugh. 

“Marryin’ me is funny?” Lip asks, cocking his head back to observe her. Charlotte places a hand on her rapidly rising and falling chest. 

“Not really, but I’m trying to see if you’re being funny.”

“M’fuckin’ serious.” he deadpans. 

“But…3 months, Phillip.” 

He shrugs, pressing another kiss to her hand. “Good enough for me. You?”

“I…” she’s shocked by the thought that crosses her mind. Good enough for me too. “But you’re not even down on one knee. And you’re asking me in front of your ex's house or party or whatever..” Charlotte pouts.

Lip’s eyes widen at that, glancing back toward the house because, well, that shit is true. “Yikes.” he chuckles at himself. “Yeah that’s pretty fucked up.” 

“Only a little.”

“If I was on one knee, and we weren’t here, would you say yes? I don’t have a nice ring, but that’ll be the first thing I’d get you-” He rambles for a moment, stopping at the sight in front of him. Charlotte’s laying her head on the headrest, big brown eyes still shining with tears, staring at him dreamily with an uneasy smile on her face. His heart felt like it good fuckin’ bust out of his chest. He’d had people look at him before. With lust, hate, even love, but the way she was looking at him right now, he could finally see what Monica saw. Like he’d hung the moon and stars. He would. If she’d keep looking at him like that. But right now, he’d settle for getting her pretty voice to give him a yes. Lip turns off the car light and puts the car into drive, speeding down the road, ignoring her questions of ‘where are we going?’ ‘What just happened?’ his leg that isn’t controlling the pedals jumping up and down as he anxiously weaves them through traffic. He drives to the only grocery store he thinks will be open and hops out of the car, running in and locking the car.

Charlotte sits in the passenger seat confused as ever. She feels high. This is crazy. She’s never done anything like this before. And when would she? Why would she? She’s 19. Won’t be 20 for another week. She’s known Phillip for 3 months. That’s how long she talked to her ex before becoming his girlfriend. Her parents don’t even know him yet. How could she agree to this?

But, how could she say no? She loves him. She’s known that almost since meeting him. She loves being around him, feeling him brings her comfort, happiness. Watching his smile reach his beautiful blue eyes makes her feel like she’d won some kind of reward. She wants to be his family. Forever. She…she wants to marry him. She guesses that nothing else fucking matters.

He comes running back with something in his hands. Charlotte squints as she tries to lean closer to the window to see. The back seat door swings open and an out of breath Lip places something inside. “Don’t turn around.”

“Wha-why? What’d you get?”

“Just-” he closes the door, getting into the driver’s side. “Listen, alright? It’ll be worth it. Trust me.”

She does.

It’s about 3 am when the car rolls to a stop again. Somehow, Charlotte had managed to fall asleep, cocked back in the seat with her head against the window, Lip’s hand on her thigh covered by both of her hands. As he pulls to a stop he squeezes her a little, gently jostling her awake. “Hi, baby,” he says softly. “We’re here.” 

She yawns, arching her back a little as she stretches, wrapping Lip’s suit jacket tighter around herself. “Where’s here?” she says groggily. 

“You’ll see, c’mon, sweetheart.” 

The couple gets out of the car, and Lip guides a staggering Charlotte to their destination. As they near it, he reaches over, guiding her head down, using her hair to cover her face. “Uh, try not to look up, bunny, hide your face.”

Charlotte shuffles her feet, following his instructions with a whine. “Aww, Phillip, are we doing something illegal?”

“Uh…no.”

“That means yes.” she huffs. She stares down at the ground as she hears the sound of clanking. She knows he’s picking some kind of lock. The metal clanks to the ground and Lip continues to guide her.

“Close your eyes, sweetheart, imma find the lights.” He says, voice getting further. “Don’t hurt yourself, just stay there ‘til m’back.”

The sounds of water starting to flow and fans blowing begin as the room turns light behind her eyelids. Charlotte feels his large, strong hands smooth their way down her arms before grabbing her hands. “Can I open now?” she asks gently.

“Yeah, baby you can open.” 

Charlotte opens her eyes to see that they’re in a lit room with a glass ceiling. Beautiful plants surrounding them all over, flowers, trees, the works. Fountains are spaced out among the plants, mimicking nature, water trickling from them. Lights sparkle as they hang from the ceiling and in front of her is what she could only believe is the love of her life, holding a bouquet of flowers, trying to kick the little sign that said ‘Sweet 16’ that he’d plucked off behind him. “Where are we?”

“It’s uh, the Garfield Park Conservatory. I’d read about it before, and I knew I wanted to take you here…but they’re obviously closed right now. And I didn’t want people in our fucking business. And uh…pickin’ locks is free.” he jokes, letting out a wet chuckle.

“You know when we’re married you’re gonna have to slow down on doing things that’ll get you arrested.” She manages something between a laugh and a sob. Charlotte already knows she must look insane with the amount she’s cried in the past few hours. She takes one of her hands back trying to wipe her face and comb her fingers through her hair.

“You look beautiful, Charlotte.” Lip says, commanding her full attention with the intensity in his eyes. “And I love you, more than I’ve ever managed to love anyone or anything. I really, really didn’t think I was capable of feeling like this. Or having someone as good as you. And I’m gonna fuck it up, like all the time. But m’askin’ you to marry me anyway.”

“Yes.” she whispers, not even getting a second to finish before he’s dropping her flowers and snatching her into his arms. She cups his face and closes the distance between them and meets him in an intense kiss. “I love you.” she smiles against his lips.

“Love you.” He says between pecks. When they finally give each other some air, Lip turns her and starts guiding her to the door, grabbing her flowers on the way, tickling her and whispering jokes in her ear as they go. “Alright, you agreed, that shit is binding. I gotta get you to the courthouse before you change your mind.”

Judge Hanes is very well acquainted with the Gallagher family. He’s overseen many of their legal proceedings in both juvenile and adult court. And once, Frank Gallagher had pissed on his brand new Porsche after he’d awarded the man’s opponent restitution. So to say he was aggravated to find the eldest Gallagher boy in front of the courthouse, asleep on a bench with a young lady under his arm, is an understatement. He stops in front of the pair with a heavy sigh and an already forming headache. “Phillip Gallagher.”

The young man opens his eyes, squinting before his lips spread into a smug smile. “Mornin’ Keith.”

“It’s Judge Hanes to you, boy.”

The girl next to him stirs awake, rubbing at her eyes tiredly. “Good morning, Judge Hanes. Nice to meet you. I’m Charlotte.” She looks about his middle-daughter’s age, pretty, clean-cut. He couldn’t imagine why she was here with Lip Gallagher.

“Nice to meet you too, dear. What’s got you at this old courthouse this early? Child support enforcement?” He cuts his eyes back to Lip. “A protective order?”

“No, I feel perfectly safe, with my fiancé, actually.” The blond snarks, pulling the girl to him and kissing her temple. “We came to get married. Looks like you’re gonna marry us.”

Well he’ll be damned. Keith Hanes never thought he’d see the day. He almost believes this is some kind of grift. A scam he’s running on this poor girl. But from the look in Gallagher’s eyes, even Keith could see this was legit. He almost feels bad for what he has to tell them. “No can do.”

“What?” Charlotte looks to Lip.

“Why the fuck not? I mean it-isn’t it like your civic duty or some shit?”

Keith cocks his head challenging Lip's tone. “Thought you were supposed to be the smart one Gallagher.”

“Yeah, well, I’m more into the sciences, so I haven’t taken much time to learn the inner workings of your crooked ass system-”

“Phillip, please.” Charlotte interjects, placing her hand on his chest. Keith is surprised to see that it actually calms the boy, making him intertwine their fingers and quieting down. “Sir, we really wanna get married. We came all of the way here, and we love each other so much, it’s really important to us. Please.”

Keith sighs, looking down at a sweet little pout that reminded him so much of his own children. “I really am sorry kids. Courthouse is closed today, only doing jury trials because the clerks are rotating. No peace orders, divorce hearings or marriages. I can write you two up a certificate myself, but beyond that, I suggest you try a church and hope they’re willing to do it today.”

He watches as the couple looks at each other somberly. Charlotte rests her cheek on Lip’s shoulder, disappointment evident on their faces. Keith watches them share their disappointment and notices how they comfort each other. The girl smoothing her hand up and down his arm, the boy murmuring against the crown of her head, ‘if not today, then tomorrow.’ This isn’t the Lip Gallagher who’s been in and out of his courthouse. He’d absently thought that it had been a while since he’d been in trouble and now he could see why. He could applaud him for allowing love to turn his life around. 

“I am about to be very kind this morning, please do not make me regret it.” Keith unlocks the doors and looks back at the pair. “Don’t tell your siblings I did this, I know your brood likes to marry every other week.” 

“Sure won’t, sir.” 

“And don’t screw this up, pretty young ladies like this don’t fall out of the sky.” 

“Yeah we don’t.” Charlotte jokes, pushing Lip with her hip, his only response being rolling his eyes and dragging her to him. 

“Alright alright, follow me.”

And Charlotte plans to, she really does. But for some reason, when Judge Hanes and Lip go to move, her feet remain planted on the cobblestone steps of the courthouse, her lack of movement pulling Lip to a stop by their intertwined fingers. “Babe?”

The woman breathes deeply as she looks up the steps. Being with Lip means a lot of things. Fun, passion, anger, joy, adventure, risk, love and family. How could they do this without their family? “Your Honorableness-” she begins.

Judge Hanes shares a glance with Lip who shakes his head, encouraging him to keep quiet. 

“If we came back in a couple of hours with our family, would you still be here? I…we need them. Please?” 

Well..Keith didn’t feel like watching his grandson lose his soccer game again anyway. “Four hours to get your…clan together. Then I’m going home.” 

“Yay! Thank you!” She chirps, bouncing on her feet a little before throwing her arms around the older man, beaming at him before running down the steps back to the car. Lip places his hands in his pockets, watching her run excitedly with a soft smile on his face.

He tenses when he feels a heavy arm over his shoulders, a rough hand patting his arm. “Prove me wrong, Mr. Gallagher.” Judge Hanes says. “This may be something good. Try not to fuck it up.”

“I uh, I won’t.”

“Good morning Liam.” Charlotte hums, smoothing her hand over the little boy’s cheek. “Guess what?”

“Lottie!” he coos as she lifts him out of his toddler bed into her arms. He giggles as she bounces him on her hip. She and Lip had rushed back to the Gallagher house, thrumming with energy. Everyone would have to get on board for this wedding quickly because of the time crunch and they decided to make it feel as ceremonial as possible with the circumstances. Lip changed out of the suit he was wearing into the one he’d worn at one of Fiona’s attempts at marriage. Charlotte kept the bouquet he’d offered her in the car and quietly snuck into Kev and V’s house, rifling through her bags and producing a white dress she’d brought. It wasn’t a wedding dress but it’d do. 

In the interest of time and not getting their idea immediately shot down, they decided to start collecting the younger Gallagher siblings first. “We’ve got a big surprise.” she mumbles against his cheek, kissing it over and over as she walks through the hall. She bumps into Lip who catches her by the waist, leaning down, blowing a raspberry into Liam’s other cheek. 

“You ready?”

Charlotte nods and Lip knocks on Debbie’s bedroom door before opening it. The redheaded girl is splayed out on her bed, blankets half kicked off, snoring lightly. Lip eases into the room, sitting on the bed next to her, shaking her softly. “Hey, Debs.”

“Hm.” she rolls a little, squinting up at him. “What? What time is it?”

“Uh, it’s about 8.” 

“And why are you bothering me?” She groans, kicking her feet at his stomach.

“Deb’s watch it, don’t get it dirty.” Lip says, catching her foot.

The younger girl frowns, opening her eyes fully and taking in her brother’s appearance. “Why the hell are you wearing that?” When he laughs and looks behind him she follows his gaze to the doorway. “Charlotte, you look so pretty! Can I borrow that dress?”

“Sure, Debbie.” the woman smiles, coming into the room to join them. “But right now, we need to ask you a question. How would you feel about getting another sister?”

“Damn it, Frank knocked someone up?”

“No, jesus, Debs, m’gonna marry Charlotte. Today. And we want you to be in it.”

Debbie all but shoves Lip out of the way, hugging Charlotte tightly before grabbing the hand that isn’t holding Liam. “Help me pick out a dress?”

Carl was less enthused by the whole idea. Dangling the concept of Charlotte being his sister was less appealing to him and he ultimately refused to come until Lip promised him some illegal fireworks that he hadn’t been able to score on his own. 

Ian and Mickey had been the most fun to tell. Lip barged into their room, earning a groan from Ian and a loud grumble of ‘what the fuck?’ from Mickey. The couple stared at Lip and Charlotte, taking in their attire.

“What the fuck do you two idiots have on?” Mickey asks, wiping his face. He locks eyes with the woman, raising his eyebrows for a moment before his lips spread into a wide smile that matches her own. “Oh, shit! C’mere you crazy bitch.” He’s out of the bed and picking her up, hoisting her over his shoulder as she squeals and giggles. “What the hell kind of pussy have you been puttin’ on him?”

“Shit.” Ian echoes, pulling his brother into a tight hug. “Congratulations man, seriously. When…?”

“Today, get your suit on, motherfucker.” 

“Shit!” Ian beams, clapping a hand on Lip’s back.

“You see this shit, Red?” Mickey calls back to his boyfriend. “The bar is fuckin’ high, even your shithead brother is puttin’ a ring on it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ian snorts, his arm still around Lip’s neck, keeping him close. “M’workin’ on it.”

“My ass.”

The group is so wrapped in their celebration they don’t even hear a tired Fiona make her way into the doorway. Sleep on her face, still clad in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear, she stands prepared to curse them from waking her when she’d just worked the night shift. The brunette’s eyes widen as she takes in the scene in front of her. Charlotte, wearing a white dress, tossed over Mickey’s shoulder. Lip is wearing his best suit (he only has two that he rotates for weddings, jobs and funerals), lighting a blunt, the good shit they keep for graduations and when Monica leaves. Ian buttoning his dress shirt. Fuck. She thinks, crossing her arms. “Pregnant?”

Lip straightens, blunt still hanging from his mouth. “No.”

“And you’re sure?” she asks. “Both of you?” 

“Yes.” Charlotte responds, offering Fiona a hesitant smile as Mickey puts her down. She goes over to Lip, slipping her hand into his. “So sure.”

Fiona rolls her eyes to the ceiling, whispering, ‘fuck’ under her breath before leaving the room. Lip clenches his jaw, looking away, taking a deep drag of the blunt as Charlotte rubs his arm, and Ian pats his back. He and Fiona fight like cats and dogs, but she’s his big sister. She’s supported him through everything, he’d thought she’d support him through this. 

Moments later Fiona returns, tugging a blue dress down her legs and holding something white in her hands. She silently makes her way over to Charlotte, lifting what Lip and Ian recognized as her veil she never fully got to use, clipping it to the top of Charlotte’s head. “There. Now, you look like a bride. A sexy Vegas bride, but a bride. And I better be a bridesmaid.” Lip tugs his sister into a hug, making her stumble, rubbing her back. 

“Um, thanks.” he says into her shoulder.

She sniffs in response, pushing him off. “Yeah, yeah, let me hit that blunt, this is gonna be a shit show.”

Once everyone’s dressed, the group makes their way next door, Lip and Charlotte stand in front of the door, ringing the bell because she did have her keys, the only thing in her hands being the flowers he’d given her. 

“Yeah, I’m comin’!” Kev yells through the door, pushing it open and eyes bulging at the sight in front of him. “Holy shit. V!”

“What?” she calls from further in the house. “Yelling so early the damn morning. What’s the fucking problem-holy shit.” 

V eyes her cousin, staring her down. Charlotte straightens, her stance steady but her face withering a little under V’s gaze. Everyone else watches as the two women share a silent conversation, the elder, putting her hands on her hips, eyebrows raised, the younger squeezing her boyfriend…fiance’s hand as she maintains eye contact. V cocks her head to the side expectantly turning to go back in the house and Charlotte follows, releasing Lip’s hand. 

The two women climb the steps up to Kev and V’s room and Charlotte quietly gestures for Lip not to follow. When they get in the room, V pulls her pajama shirt off, grabbing a pink dress off of a hanger. “This is what you wanna do?”

“Yes. I love him.” Charlotte says, sitting on the bed. 

“It’s gonna be really hard, Lottie. You know that?”

“I know.”

V turns and Charlotte zips her dress for her. “And your parents?”

Charlotte bites her lip at that. She’s startled to realize that she hadn’t even considered them being there. They weren’t who she thought of when she said they needed to go get family. She loves them, but this, the life she made here, has nothing to do with them. They’d ruin it. “It’s not about them. But you’re here.”

“Hell yeah, I am.” V says kissing her little cousin’s cheek. “Well, if we’re gonna do this, you need to complete the outfit.” She reaches in her drawer, producing her lacey, white garter, tossing it to Charlotte. 

“Um…I love you…and thanks, but...when was the last time you washed this and has it been in Kev's mouth?”

When the group was finally complete, they head out of the house, trying to figure out how to stuff everyone into Kev’s car without fucking up their dress clothes. As they stuffed Carl, Debbie and Liam into the back, everyone else was arguing about who should have to squeeze into the middle. 

“Well, I’m literally the bride, so-”

“This is my fucking car!” 

“Princess doesn’t even need a seat, she’s used to bein’ in fuckhead’s lap.”

As they fuss over the spots, Frank stumbles his way down the street, seeing his family decked out in dress clothes he makes his way over, plucking the blunt out of Ian’s hand. “Good morning family. Who died?”

“Lip and Charlotte are getting married, Daddy!” Debbie calls from inside of the car. 

Frank gasps dramatically, clutching his chest before clapping a hand onto the back of Lip’s neck, only to have it slapped off. “My eldest son! Why didn’t you say anything? Look how I’m dressed! Charlotte, looking vivacious as ever.”

Lip’s mouth curl’s in disgust as he tugs her behind him. “You’re not invited, Frank.” 

“What? I’m your father. How could you not have me at your first wedding?” Frank slurs, “Besides, I think you’ll regret not inviting Daddy when you see the gift he got you.”

“How the hell does he have a gift, he just found out.” Fiona murmurs to V.

“I’m trying to figure out what gift his broke ass could afford.” 

They watch tiredly as Frank stumbles behind the house, the sound of glass shattering ringing out, followed by a bunch of rumbling. When Frank comes back he makes his way over to his elder son, slapping two small items into his hands. “See if I’m invited now.”

Lip opens his hands to see two rings, one plain gold band and one with a small diamond in the middle. 

“What the fuck?” Fiona says, getting a closer look. “Where the hell did you get these?”

“These are my and Monica’s rings from our first wedding.”

“And you haven’t pawned them?” Ian asks.

Frank shrugs, “They’re sentimental.”

“You’ve sold Liam.”

“I was gonna get him back! Do you want them or not?” 

Lip looks over to Charlotte, “Bunny?”

The woman smiles, running a finger over the rings before nodding. “We could always have them blessed to…you know, get rid of any bad juju.” 

“Alright.” Lip says, giving her a peck before turning to get in the car. “Move out, people, let’s go.” As everyone piles in he looks at Frank sighing at them, running his dirty hands over each other. “Fuck.” he breathes, dropping his head forward on Charlotte’s shoulder as she sits in his lap. “Come the fuck on Frank.”

“Fantastic.”

Keith Hanes checks his watch one more time before shaking his head and standing from his desk. He’d given them extra time, tried to get some work done and called his wife while he waited. But time was up, he’d waited all that he could. As he turns the lights out and begins to lock up, he tsks at himself disappointedly. Of course it was a load of shit. He’s a Gallagher.

The older man turns the key, locking the second door of his office, certificate of marriage in his hand. He was a fool to even draft it up as he waited. Just as he goes to crumple the paper he hears what sounds like a stampede of feet running in the marble halls.

“Hey! Shit-” Keith turns to find the young couple sprinting over with the entire Gallagher clan (and one Milkovich) behind them. Lip slipping slightly before catching his balance as he and Charlotte round the corner. “We’re here. Made it.”

“You’re 30 minutes late.”

The blond runs a hand through his disheveled hair, running the other up and down the bare skin of his fianceé’s arm. “Is that uh, is that ours?” he asks, nodding his head toward the certificate.

“Well, yes-”

“Ah! Phillip!” Charlotte squeals, bouncing and squeezing his arm.  Lip twists his lips, attempting to contain his own smile as they essentially bum rush the judge back into the room. The young couple follow Keith over to his desk, still wrapped up in each other , exchanging pecks as they murmur excitedly to themselves. 

“Uh uh, if I’m gonna get my ass beat by my mama for letting you do this, we’re gonna do this right so we can at least get some pictures on the phone. Move-” V pushes Lip back by his chest, separating the pair before wrapping her manicured nails around Charlotte’s wrist. “C’mon little girl. One second judge.” 

Fiona shrugs at the bride as V rearranges the room, ushering Carl, Ian and Mickey to stand behind Lip and instructing Fiona and Debbie to go out into the hallway. Frank stumbles his way over, looping his dirty arm with Charlotte’s free one. “Frank, watch her fuckin’ dress.” Ian hisses as Lip’s brows furrow. “Fuck are you doin’ Frank?”

The older man frowns as his two eldest sons. “I’m-” he burps, “obviously going to be walking my new daughter down the aisle.”

Lip’s eyes immediately catch his girl’s as the brown pools widen. He could tell that she didn’t want that. This was gonna be a big moment, shit, he wouldn’t want to remember it with Frank either. Hell, he’s his dad and he planned to push him as far back as possible, he was lucky to be in the fuckin’ room. But he knows that his sweet girl knows he has complicated feelings toward his father. Hatred. Disgust. Humiliation. But the fucker was still in his blood. He couldn’t fully shake him. Lip knows Charlotte won’t outwardly protest Frank being part of this special moment that he was going to bust his ass to make sure is her only walk down an aisle. Not in front of his little siblings. Not when she’s not sure how he feels about it. “Yeah, fuck that, Frank, go sit down.”

“Well isn’t this fuckin’ something? I don’t happen to see her father here, steppin’ up. I’m welcoming her into the Gallagher family-”

“Sit the fuck down, Frank.” Lip grits, clenching his fists. This shit was not gonna happen. He was not gonna come in here, and bumble his way into ruining his wedding. He’d seen him do it to Fiona, he was not gonna do it to Lip. To Charlotte.  

“What? You get a little pussy and you’re a tough guy now?”

“Frank-” the blond steps forward, veins in his arm twitching with how tightly he was clenching his fists. Mickey not far behind him, waiting for someone to throw a punch so he could get his lick in, he was still mad at Frank from the last time he broke Ian’s nose, but he’d promised his boyfriend he wouldn't get arrested this month and they were fucking literally in a courthouse in front of a judge.

“He’s right.” Charlotte intercepts, shaking the older man’s arm off. She pats her free hand softly on her fiance’s cheek. “My dad isn’t here. But, Kev is. That’s what people do right? If your dad can’t do it your brother does?”

“Oh shit-” Kev huffs, using his arm to cover his face.

“Um…are you crying?”

“No, m’not fuckin’ cryin’, Lottie, come the fuck on-” He says, planting his hands on her shoulders and steering her the rest of the way out of the door.

Frank scoffs as he watches them. “Well just fuck me then.”

Lip doesn’t believe in fairytales. Or happy endings. True love, none of that shit. He’s always believed in what life has shown him. Fucking struggle basically. Bad shit with a little drop of happiness slipped in there before shit really hits the fan. Just enough good that he doesn’t just say fuck it and give up. That good usually came in the form of something with his siblings, finding some money, or getting his dick wet. 

Then Charlotte came. And those little moments of goodness, happiness starting happening more frequently. They came with the smiles she offered him, plump lips spreading, cheeks dimpling. They came with her soft hands, in his rougher ones, running through his hair cupping his face, touching him. It came with her laughter. Loud giggles that often ended with gasps and slaps on his arm and stomach. And still…with him getting his dick wet…but with her. 

All of that was great. Amazing. 

But this shit right here. He’d never known that it could get this good. Like, they’re in a courtroom/clerk’s office in the courthouse in which he’d had many things expunged from his record as a juvenile. Where he’d been dragged into foster care, group homes, what the fuck ever else by CPS. 

All of that went away watching Charlotte Fisher come down the aisle. It’s not even a fucking aisle. The walk from the doorway is too short. His blue eyes scan her hastily as she slowly makes her way, wanting to catch everything, capture every inch of her. He wants to commit this shit to memory. For when things get hard. He knows shit will never be this good again. This is it. He’s peaked. From her legs, up her body, the way the dress fit. The way her hair falls perfectly. And her face…her face he had to save for last. Because she’s doing it again. Looking at him like he’s something. Like he’s everything. He didn’t know you could feel love from a look like that. If he had the mental capacity at the time, he’d wonder what he must look like looking at her. Probably desperate. Needy. I mean, fuck it, he is. 

Lip hadn’t even realized he wasn’t breathing until she’s directly in front of him, leaning her forehead against his, the thin, sheer veil over her face the only thing separating him. The white fabric only making her look even more angelic. “You think your sister is gonna kill me for getting makeup on her veil?” she whispers with a giggle.

Phillip Gallagher is an all encompassing experience. You could laugh at Charlotte if you want to, she loves her man. A lot. So much so that after having a screaming match in front of his ex's house, trekking through mud, and one of the first things he’d ever said to her being ‘wanna bang one out’ she was here. In a white dress. And his sister’s veil. Getting married after like 3 months. And she’s fucking gassed.

She knew what she was signing up for. Chaos. Crazy. Gallagher. That’s fine. Phillip’s here. The consequences of dealing with her own family and friends from home barely cross her mind. All she could think of is intense blue eyes. She loves his eyes. She loves Phillip. He makes her happy. Before she’d come here, she’d thought she was content. She thought the only thing she was missing was independence. She didn’t know that this kind of joy existed. And she didn’t know she could care about someone else’s happiness like she cares about Phillip’s. He’s only 20. But life had already been so rough on him. It makes her sad, sometimes, the dark circles under his eyes, watching him bitterly light a cigarette and roughly tug at his beautiful curls when he’s stressed. Seeing his jaw clench when he sees another little kid wearing new shoes as his siblings walk around in used ones, or some guy gifting his girlfriend with something expensive. Charlotte wants to get rid of those looks. She wants to make life easier for him. To cater to him.

If V heard that she’d probably fucking vomit before slapping the shit out her. Her friends from home would think this was just people pleaser Charlotte, being tricked by some guy again. But this is different. She knows Phillip loves her.

She can feel it. To her core.  She can see it, in his eyes, essentially gazing into her soul as he looks at her intently. She can hear it, in the vow he makes to her.

“I’m gonna take fuckin’ care of you, Bunny.” 

She hears Judge Hansen sigh at the statement, probably shocked that the vow was so singular. So abrupt. 8 words and one of them was fuckin’.

To Charlotte, it was short and sweet. Meaningful.

“And I’m” she giggles wetly through her tears, her shaking hands in his larger, steadier ones. “Gonna make you so fuckin’ happy, Bubba.”

“You may now kiss the bride-”

“Fuckin’ finally.” Lip breathes, tugging Charlotte to him by the waist and capturing her lips. He leans into her with so much force she’d have stumbled back if his grip on her wasn’t so strong. Charlotte throws her arms around his neck, pressing even closer as their lips continue to meet, blissfully unaware of everyone around them. 

“Jesus, Gallagher, you’re not supposed to fuckin’ swallow her.” Mickey calls from behind them. Lip smiles into the kiss, pecking her lips one more time before pulling back, only to be pulled back in.

“Yes he is.” she grins, nudging his nose with hers and squealing as he picks her up, spinning her around.

“Alright, you got the music baby?” Kev calls as he makes his way behind the bar, pulling out shot glasses, lining them up on the wooden bar and preparing to pour. 

“On it.”

Lip finishes carrying Charlotte in on his back, refusing to carry her in bridal style because ‘this dingy ass bar isn’t our home’ but giving into her whining that her feet hurt and she didn’t want to get them dirty on the sidewalk. He plops her down on one of the stools and walks between her legs, rubbing his hands along her thighs, kissing her. “‘Makin’ you a spoiled brat.”

“Yeah? You married me?” she smiles against his lips. “That’s so cool.”

“Yeah, it fuckin’ is.” 

Wrapping her arm around his neck she lets him rest his head in hers, turning to Ian, “Okay, okay, flirt with me.”

The redhead snorts, leaning his elbows back against the bar. “Hey sexy, let me buy you a drink.”

“Ah! Nope, m’married!” she laughs, waving her left hand in his face, ignoring the tickling feeling of Lip’s breathy laughter on her skin. 

Fiona makes her way in, she’d just dropped the younger three kids off at Sheila’s so that they could fully celebrate at the Alibi without worrying about them. She pulls Charlotte from her younger brother’s embrace, pressing her lips to the girl’s cheeks. “Mwah, welcome to the shitshow baby, m’just happy to have a sister in law I can fuckin’ stand. He had shit taste before.” She laughs, shoving her brother’s shoulder. “Now, lets toast to the happy fucking couple.” her eyes lock with Lip’s and she gives him a crooked smile. “Seriously. Really fucking happy for you.”

Everybody has seen Lip fucked up before. Depending on the mood he was in, he could be fun as hell or he could look like Frank Jr. And everyone had seen Charlotte off her ass. She was…less reserved than usual. So, thank God Kev had flipped the closed sign before the shots started rolling. 

“Alright, alright man! You been under there long enough!” Kev calls, slapping Lip’s back. The younger man just chuckles as he climbs back from between his bride’s legs, garter dangling from his teeth. 

“No he hasn’t!”

“Charlotte!”

“She’s married, Kev.” V says, elbowing her own husband before grabbing her cousin’s hand, “One more drink.”

“One more!” Charlotte cheers, stumbling over to the bar and kneeling so her cousin can pour directly from the bottle into her mouth before pouring it into her own. “Baby, dance with me.”

“Lip doesn’t dance.” Fiona snorts, downing her own drink, coughing as she watches her brother obediently stand, going to sway with his new…shit wife. It’s so weird. Watching her little brother be a husband. Slow dancing with the young woman in front of him, despite the loud base of the fast paced music. The sloppy, drunken kissing and his hand on her ass was very on brand for her brother. But the soft smiles in between, and the thumb, sweeping softly over the girl’s cheek, that was new.

“Looks good on him doesn’t it?” Ian asks, resting his arm on his sister.

“Yeah. It does.” 

Mickey sidles up next to the siblings, following their gaze. “Cute.” he pats Ian’s hip before stumbling away, his drink sloshing in glass. “But I better get a real fuckin’ wedding.”

“Don’t get used to this, alright, it’s only because it’s your wedding night.” Fiona calls from Kev and V’s stoop. “And clean up after yourselves.” She watches as Lip lifts a yelping Charlotte off of the ground, stumbling backward a little himself before kicking the door open. She sighs, as it slams shut and turns to V. “Your family is gonna kill us, huh?”

“Oh yeah, we’re dead.”

The newlyweds can't concern themselves with anything but each other at the next house over.

“Okay so,” Lip begins between the heated kisses he’s placing on Charlotte’s neck. “Where do you wanna go first, cause this is the only time my family is ever gonna be cool enough to give us the house.”

His head swims as Charlotte’s hand tugs at the hair at the nape of his neck, her legs hooked around his waist as she drags his lips to hers, speaking against his mouth. “I wanna go where you wanna go.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh.”

“C’mon baby.” He breathes before connecting their lips fully, hoisting her, gripping her ass as he walks them up the stairs. He pushes his…their bedroom door open. Charlotte starts giggling, kicking her feet lightly as she adjusts herself in his arms. “What’s funny?”

“You chose our bedroom?” she snorts, pulling back a little to look at him.

“So fuckin’ what? Why’s it funny?”

Charlotte cocks her head to the side, her hair had fallen down hours ago from the dancing she’d done with Fiona and V. “I mean, you’re just the same guy who’s always like,” she clears her throat and tries and fails to make her voice deeper. “Baby, m’so horny let me fuck you in this dirty bathroom, stop being so prissy. Bunny, Kev won’t even be able to tell if I eat your pussy in the car, nobody’s home, lemme bend you over the couch-” she squeaks when he slaps her ass before dumping her onto the bed.

“Fuckin’ brat, I was trying to be nice to you today.”

“Aww,” she pouts, “is that why you wanna do it the ‘boring’ way, like you call it.”

Lip’s gaze softens as he stares down at the woman splayed out on his bed, smiling up at him. “Yeah,” he all but whispers, smoothing his thumb over her cheek, dragging it down her lips and to her jaw, “and, uh, I wanna look at my wife’s pretty face.”

Charlotte settles, catching his hand with hers before he can pull it back, placing it fully on her cheek and leaning into it. “I love you.”

“I fucking love you.” he huffs out, before climbing on top of her and capturing her lips. 

This was nowhere near their first time. Like at all. Much to the chagrin of their families, Lip and Charlotte fuck at least 1-2 times a day. But this was something else entirely. They took turns quietly undressing each other, Charlotte taking the time to undo each of Lip’s buttons, Lip running his fingers along her spine as he unzips her zipper. Never straying far from each other, lips either melded together, or close, sharing air.

Charlotte’s fingers flex in blond curls as he settles between her legs, blue eyes staring at her intently, watching for every reaction, as he moans into her core. He only gets to taste her for a moment before she was whining for him to come up, wrapping her legs around him as he settles back on top of her. The couple shares a gasp as he pushes into her, the only sounds filling the air, the soft creaking of the old bed to the rhythm of his slow thrusts and the quiet moans they share. 

Lip fights to keep his eyes open despite their impulse to roll closed, desperately taking in her face as he rocks into her, one hand holding her leg, the other exploring her face, his thumb dips into her mouth for a moment, pulling a sound from her that has him chasing it to her lips, kissing her deeply, guiding her tongue along his, 

After a moment he drops his head next to hers, pressing his mouth to his ear. “Fucking love you.” Charlotte only gasps in response as his movements get rougher despite maintaining their slow pace. Her hand gripping at his arms as she tightens around him. “Yeah? You like that? You like hearing how much I love you?” Her cry only fuels him, his own mouth falling open briefly as he breathes against her neck. “I love you more than anything and now you’re mine. Say it.”

When all she offers him is a whine, Lip tightens his grip on her jaw slightly, leaning back up and pushing their foreheads together, looking down at her. “Did you hear me?”

“I…I’m yours.”

“That’s right, baby. M’gonna make you so fuckin’ happy. Gonna get you a real fuckin’ house. Gonna be such a good husband for you, bunny. Take care of you.”

“M’gonna take care of you too.” she whispers, arching up to kiss him again, trailing her lips against his cheek.

“God damnit-” he groans, reaching down between them to rub along her clit, feeling her start to spasm around him. “Fuck fuck fuck. C’mon baby.” His grip on her tightens as she climaxes, squirming in his arms as he commits her cries to memory, wanting to hear that sound play on loop in his brain. Lip brings both of his hands to her hips, gripping tightly as he pins her to the bed, as he picks up the pace, his thrusts becoming sloppy. “Fuck, Charlotte, tell me you love me.”

Through her haze, Charlotte calms enough to focus her vision on her husband, truly hearing his plea, seeing it in his eyes as he waits. How could she not? “I love you, Phillip Gallagher.”

Lip moans loudly, his hands tightening impossibly around her as he buries his face in her neck to bury the sound, but she hears it anyway. She feels as he empties himself into her and rubs her hands along his back as he settles on top of her, brushing wet curls away from his face when he finally comes up to press soft, persistent pecks onto her lips.

After a few minutes he pushes off and out of her, despite her demands that he stay where he was, and tosses her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “C’mon Mrs. Gallagher, we gotta make sure you don’t get a UTI.” 

“Romantic.”

“Shut up, I’m plenty romantic.”

“In what way?” she scoffs as he plops her down on the toilet and leans against the sink, not even offering her the decency of looking away while she pees. “Hey, you wanna get married tomorrow?” she mocks. 

Lip smirks down at her, flicking her forehead. “You’re gonna stop mockin’ me, you don’t like it when I do it to you.”

“I don’t care when you mock me.” she pouts, crossing her arms.

“Oh, fuck, Phillip-” he whines loudly, laughing between his mocking whimpers as he starts tugging her hands away from where they’re covering her ears. “I’m yours, Phillip, please-” he continues for a moment before quietly trailing off, running the rough pads of his fingers along her collarbone, following his own movement with his eyes, starting a trail down to her breasts.

“You just turned yourself on, didn’t you?” 

“Yeah.” he shrugs, leaning back on the sink again. “You gonna let me fuck you in the shower?”

Lip sleepily reaches over, grabbing the ringing phone from the bedside table, pressing it to his ear as he smooths a hand down Charlotte’s spine, hoping not to wake her. He was proud of his handiwork, her hair was a mess, she was gonna throw a fit when she woke up and realized she didn’t cover it, but it didn’t matter, they’d sweated it out the night before anyway. Her body is littered with hickeys, her ass still warm and red. He had matching love bites of his own and he was sure his back was red with scratch marks with the pleasant sting he feels. 

“Charlotte? Hello?” a man’s voice burns in Lip’s ears as his blue eyes shoot open. He pushes off of the bed, stepping onto the wooden floor, body already tense.

“Who the fuck is this?” he growls into the phone, his change in tone causing the woman to stir.

The voice sounds affronted, meeting his anger with its own. “No, who the hell is this?”

“Her fucking husband, your turn dickhead.” He grits, Charlotte shooting up behind him, waving her hands and trying to wrestle the device out of his hands pleading ‘hang up, hang up, hang up-’ “Her fucking father, young man. I win. Now can I speak to my daughter?”

[atla-confessions]

“Damn right, the only person true Aang stans hate is the fucking guru (lmao plz ask me why)"

Why?

LMAO THANK YOU FOR ASKING

Anyway, The Guru is just, awful. I mean, this man really looked at a 12 year old and was like "just don't be sad dude." Like, "oh, literally everyone you knew and loved is dead? That's fine, you have a crush on a girl. That's basically the same thing." Like no, I'm sorry. Sure, I kinda understand the point of like, love evolves but NO you cannot equate his love for Katara with his love for LITERALLY EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER KNOWN.

And then the whole, "Katara or the avatar state"??? Like??? I'm sorry, every other avatar seems to be vibing with their avatar state just fine while still having earthly attachments. Roku had an attachment so hard a 100 yr war happened, but he gets to use the avatar state at free will. Almost like, oh, maybe the avatar state is something controlled through skill and not some arbitrary state of mental bliss. It really reads like Aang is just too young to be able to handle the avatar state naturally because he's, you know, a child, so the Guru is trying to force it onto him child soldier style.

And yeah, I love people who point out that there is a difference between love and attachment. You know who doesn't explain that? THE GURU. Bitch, if it took us adults a whole lot of thinking to figure out wtf he meant, (and some people are still convinced he just meant Aang shouldn't love Katara like that anymore) how the fuck did he expect a TRAUMATIZED TWELVE YEAR OLD to get it????

And like, ultimately, his lesson was wrong???? We are told point blank by Iroh, a character we know and trust for his wisdom, that the Guru was wrong???? And Aang fucking died for that shit???? WHAT WAS THE POINT

I'm so convinced everything would have gone a thousand times better without the Guru.

1. Aang wouldn't have left in the first place. No need to save Katara if he got captured with her bc hes a fuckin earthbender. 2. Even if they still ended up in the same situation in the catacombs, if he didnt use the avatar state, you know what would've happened?

They would have been captured. And then either been saved by the others or escaped on their own again. Because that's what they always do. I mean really, they had SOKKA and TOPH on the outside. You think those two wouldn't be able to figure out how to bust them out of anything???? Nobody would have had to fucking DIE. The world wouldn't think Aang was dead. So many things would've been better

But NO because the FUCKING GURU had to STICK HIS NOSE IN BUSINESS IT DOESNT FUCKING BELONG IN.

I'm so about forgiveness and love. I vibe with Aang's message so hard, but I will punt the guru across a nation any day. I can forgive genocidal maniacs, I draw the line at old men who tell 12 yr olds to completely dismiss their trauma and throw themselves into unnecessary danger smh /j

Literally what did he do? What did he contribute? Nothing but pain and misery. I liked him bc he was nice to Appa and then he went and told Aang "just stop being afraid bro" (which clearly worked so well as we see later in Daydreams and Nightmares)

Just, ugh, 0/10 worst character. I will forever be anti-guru lmao.

X

[tearsofcalamity]

wriofucker's fine by me lol unless u have another nickname that'd be both as accurate & funny!

i wasn't too clear earlier; i think our mandatory education goes up to 9th grade, and then it's like a minimum of 4(ish) years for a uni degree. so it's not all that different lol

nahh im telling you i had one macroeconomics class once and it fried my fuckin brain. only reason i could stand it was because the professor was too right-brained for his own good (he'd start his lectures with a song he liked. i wrote a bunch of barely-relevant shit abt environmental pollution on the exam—he was super passionate abt it—and he just let me pass<3 loved that guy). ik i said it before but good luck on ur studies!! im sure you'll absolutely kill it out there. and, thank sm! i actually finished the short story assignment last night but im too scared to submit it jdhdj

im so glad you've got more kaveh brewing omg he's so<33 bit of a shame you're not into kavetham (they make me bite & scream) but that's just fine; more kaveh/reader for the world! except the world is me and nobody else<3 can u imagine teasing kaveh in public, maybe he's even all nice & plugged up, and you're warning him not to let a single person figure out what's going on bc he's for your eyes only<3 but it's so difficult and you're relentless and it feels so, so good... he doesn't even care about people finding out anymore, but he wants to be a good boy for you... phew. lord have mercy

HAHA WRIOFUCKER IT IS THEN!! happy to have a named anon :D

ohhhh I see I see! okay yeah so it's pretty similar just a few differences! I think the only reason I'm surviving my business/econ work is cause I've got a math-wired brain lmfao. I've got autism ("high functioning" but I don't really like that term for it, I think the more acceptable one is "low support needs") and I got the "math autism" as my friends put it so that's probably a bigger part of it. I like making spreadsheets and working out equations HAHA, also thank you for the well wishes I actually just found out I passed calc 2 with an 82% so I'm very happy about that!! I'm glad to hear you got your short story done as well, sounds like you're moving through it all good <3!!

HONESTLY I don't hate the ships (like either kavetham or haikaveh I think they're different? like some shippers put the top's name first or something?? I'm not 100% sure) like I TOTALLY see the chemistry don't get me wrong, I think it's mainly just that I get so sad seeing like nearly 0 kaveh content without alhaitham included. I love both of them but kaveh's got such a unique and deep story too, yet people often just kinda treat him like an accessory to alhaitham likely cause he's 4 star and haitham is 5 star so it turns me off of the ships a bit </3 still though that's so true MORE KAVEH/READER!!!!

oh don't even get me started on teasing kaveh in public there's so many ways you could do it and each one would make him squirm more than the last... shove a nice little vibrator deep inside of him, remote controlled of course, and enjoy watching his knees practically buckle every time you up the intensity. ooh, maybe he's giving a one-time academic seminar for some kshahrewar students and you just stand in the corner, grinning at him all the while while he shakes and tries his best to keep his voice level, praying his face isn't as red as it feels...

or play around with him in the tavern, sit right next to him and brush your hand along his inner thigh while he squirms, not sure whether he wants to move closer or further way from you... this one's easier to hide since his flushed cheeks could easily be attributed to a bit too much to drink, but once he's grabbing at your wrist to push your hand into his bulge at last, he knows by your stare that he's messed up. I mean, he hadn't kept his promise to be good, had he? guess you'll just have to rail him over his workbench back at home when he least expects it! (totally ignore his needs/pretend he's not acting super horny when you get back at first, though, he'll be so good for you when you finally do bend him over)

[kingjames7th]

Razor Ging Babytrap Theory

I know who Gon’s mom is. And I know he don’t give a fuck, but I do. Why? Because it’s Razor.

Listen we all know about the Greed Island pregnancy card, if you don’t, there’s a card that summons a stone, if you hold it for a whole month, you get pregnant! Doesn’t matter if you’re a dude or a lady! Now lemme ask you something. Who made this? Not fuckin Ging. Ging hates kids, he took one look at that little baby and said GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE. So who made it? Well lemme take you on a detour real quick.

Razor had it bad for Ging. We know this to be true. He saved him from fucking death row or something, just listen to the way Razor talks about him to Gon like that man was down something treacherous. But Ging, thing about him is you can’t tie him down, bro’s flaky as hell. So Razor comes up with the babytrap!!!

So he makes this card and he’s holding the stone for 1 month (thats a 7 pound stone thats why bro swole as hell) and. Okay tbh idk where I heard this like I remember it but I can’t find it anymore, whatever so the other parent is whoever the stone-holder spends the most time around. Which like DUH that’s gotta be Ging. And this makes so much sense if you think about it as Razor designing this card like what is the purpose of this besides to babytrap someone? It could’ve easily been like “whoever first touches the stone besides the holder” or “whoever the holder get freaky with” BUT NO!! This was a fucking babytrap stealth mission! And don’t come at me like “you literally made this other parent shit up you don’t even know where you heard it” bc you cannot seriously suggest that A) Ging got himself pregnant on purpose and there is no other parent, or B) Ging slept with a woman. Because A) bro threw out that mfing baby so fast he earned absent father of the year, and B) I would actually bet on my life that he has never felt the touch of a woman. It’s not possible

If you’re thinking “well uhm akchewally does that line up with the timeline 🤓” BAM BITCH greed island finished 1987, gon freecss born???? 1987. CHECKMATE LIBERALS

Anyways I think this is definitely what the creator intended, I mean he literally made a canon mpreg card. It says in the description “anyone can get pregnant no matter male or female” like c’mon now. Razor even looks like adult Gon. Also if there's some manga shit about his mom idk I ain't read that

RIP Razor for falling in love with the going out to buy milk champion 😔

[cephalotyrant]

Hiiiiiiiiii so. Azurido bodyswap.

Think about it; these two housewardens who constantly seem to be bickering, and then one day during a joint alchemy class they accidentally swap bodies...

Azul trying to run heartslabyul and hastily memorizing all the queens' rules; speaking of i had a sudden thought do you think azul would learn the rules for riddle after they start dating so he can easily come over to heartslabyul and follow all the rules teehee anyways back on topic Azul is mentioned to have less magic capacity so im imagining him being like "okay yeah this kid's currently on a murderous rampage buuuut do I REALLY need off with your head rn why can't i just assert my dominance with words or some shit works with floyd" (i'l never forget that time azul made floyd kneel as punishment... sad moment)

And then Riddle... bless his heart he's too much of a reasonable honest person for octavinelle's bs he's like "stop scamming students" and they're like "um ACKSHUALLY you see the free market and blah blah blah-" Riddle can't behead them anymore because azul doesn't have that power (loser) so he's just like -_- waiting for them to stop talking please oh please what he wouldn't do for them to shut the fuck up-

also weird thought riddle out of instinct trying to cast owyh and then accidentally activating the true form of it's a deal and just... knocking a bunch of guys out cold. and his glasses. he hates them bc they keep getting foggy.

speaking of glasses azul keeps trying to push them up except they dont exist fuckin L hah hah everybody point and laugh

and riddle's high heels... azul falls over (point and laugh part 2)

anyways getting a bit more serious I do feel like azul and riddle do have more similarities in leadership style (like how azul's canonically very irritable with octavinelle students and ortho mentions it's actually quite rare to see him in a good mood just like riddle) so... poor heartslabyul guys aren't catching a break just yet. Except instead of being collared it's just like "shut the fuck up travis this is why you're poor" "3.8 gpa santocruz??? I think you mean 1.8 because those tabloids could only be written by a FUCKING IDIOT" (i'm joking PLEASE DONT KILL ME I MERELY JEST besides we all know azul probably tries to seem uber classy so he wouldn't swear)

meanwhile octavinelle students have never seen such rage... even more scarily... HONESTY AND STRAIGHTFORWARDNESS (an octavinelle student's worst nightmare)

Anyways Riddle and tweel interactions here are just so funny if this is before floyd realizes the truth because it's like

"Lemme squeeze you, goldfishie!"

"Riddle" has NO REACTION. ICE COLD.

And then "Azul" waltzes in and is like "Floyd why how could you do this that is highly improper!!!!!!!"

Ofc "Riddle's" like "so i owe you now" bc azul wants riddle in his debt lmaooo

Azul keeps trying to find riddle's weakness... but it goes wrong...

Short scene:

Azul gazed into the mirror of Heartslabyul's bathroom, looking at every new detail at this new face of his. Riddle's face. He was looking for weaknesses. Yes, weaknesses, as dastardly as it seemed.

Like - how those soft, sun-kissed cheeks were likely sensitive to light, and how those gorgeous little heart-shaped tufts of hair often added to Riddle's poutiness, and-

Wait, why was Riddle's face growing redder in the mirror all of a sudden?

Womp womp azul you're gay for him

Anyways they turn back and it all gets found out blah blah... Azul saying the most down-bad shit when he thinks no one can hear like "riddle-san looks even prettier from up close" jade and floyd overhear his little mumble he never leaves it down...

and riddle... is hyperfixating over azul's moles. he knew about the one on his chin but there's MORE??? On The neck? The COLLARBONE??? He never undressed (neither did azul bc they were swapped for a pretty short time so it was pretty easy not to as just... yk a respect/consent thing) but while adjusting his tie and stuff he noticed. He is now freaking out over it to Trey. Why does he care??? When can he sign up to kiss them??? More on seven.

OOOOOOAAAAAGHHHHHH BARK BARK BARK BARK GRRR MOEWWW HISSS CRASH BOOM MY LEG!!!

Memorizing the rules would be a DAUNTING ass task bro. But Azul is up to it and I bet he memorized them just for fun at one point so he could find all the loopholes (and rub them in riddles face) funnily enough, Heartslabyul is confuse because it seems like Riddle has gotten... sharper? Some clock him immediately as wrong (ADTC)-- Riddle often stands stiffly and probably has a resting bitch face, let's be real. but now the way he stands is almost looser, more fluid, his body more expressive, flexing his hands. In his attempt to follow the rules, Azul IMMEDIATELY calls out someone using a loophole. But for today, he'll let it slide-- but I better not catch you doing that again, else there will be consequences. (He means Jade and Floyd it was on instinct) Even the way he SPEAKS is different, and why is he talking about himself so much? Don't get started on the moment Azul is mentioned-- why is he suddenly avoiding speaking any bad about Azul Ashengrotto? They were at each other's throats just this morning!

He feels weirdly frail. Not only does he lack his octo-stength, he has to look up at absoloutely everyone! And these heels are ridiculous! Of course, he's heard all about Riddle boasting that the dorm uniform being a replica of the first housewarden of Heartslabyul, but he could have omitted SOME details. The way everyone straightens their back when they hear the clacking of his heels, though... that's quite nice. It's hard not to powertrip.

I'm not going to get into it I'm not going to get into it I'm not-- FUCK. He can't help but be envious of the complete lack of fat on Riddle's body, the way his uniform cinched his waist just right. Perhaps there were some benefits of being so small... And there's a constant dull ache in his dominant hand. Seriously, for someone raised for a future in medicine, he doesn't appear to be taking care of himself very well! Maybe he'll snoop about the room for a diary, finding a drawer full of letters from a very particular woman-- and leave the investigation there. Funnily enough, it fills him with the urge to write his own letter to his own mother... he hasn't spoken to her in a while.

At least the bed is fantastic? Let's just hope Trey doesn't walk in while he's giggling and wrapping himself up burrito-style into the blankets.

Azul (Riddle) back at Octavinelle seems like he's one moment away from a STROKE. So much so that every few moments red rings swirl in his eyes-- his last straw being the fourth pencil he breaks in a row. Since when has Azul been this strong!? Does his dishonest nature extend to taking steroids?? He's going to have a VERY long talk with him later! His glasses keep getting smudged and sliding down his nose, and Azul's layered clothing was so ridiculously heavy-- being of average height is kind of nice, though.

Jade and Floyd clock him as NOT AZUL right away I fear... though it is a little funny to watch Azul's body throw a tantrum and stomp his feet. They freak out, however, when Riddle realizes he has the strength to preperly defend himself... not good. If he can't behead them, he can go physical. Really, he's not fit at all to run Mostro or do deals atp... but Jade and Floyd think it'd be funny if he fucked some up. He's rather impressed by how such a busy establishment runs so smoothly, and the employees, namely, the waiters, are rather polite. They stand straight and speak clearly... Azul’s done quite well.

THE MOLES ARGH...

—

Finally. A respite from the endless things that needed his attention– as the housewarden of Heartslabyul, he was used to tending issues left and right, but this experience, being trapped in Azul’s body, had stretched his patience thin. Azul, truly, had his fingers in far too many pies.

Discarding anything the Octavinelle housewarden wore on the regular would have been improper, though it certainly didn’t prevent him from complaining about it. The layers of the dorm uniform were oppressive, to put it lightly– even his cape, for how it dragged across the ground, wasn’t nearly as heavy. The cummerbund was too tight to be considered remotely comfortable. He abandons it on the chair in front of the vanity.

He tugs on silky purple fabric to undo the bowtie, the thing having gone crooked, most likely from when he undid the suspenders or pulled off the jacket. It’s always satisfying to allow one’s neck to breathe at the end of the day–

Eh?

Right there, not too far from under the collar, is a culmination of small dark spots. Three, in fact. And just when he peels back the collar to get a better look at them, there’s another one, right there, on his collarbone!

Experimentally, he runs a finger over them. They’re just spots of pigment… so why do they make his breath hitch and his face warm so?

The door beside the vanity swings open without warning, causing him to jump and squeeze the collar shut in alarm, crumpling the, no doubt, expensive fabric. He curses, seeing one of two tall eel mermen at the door.

“Are you accustomed to coming in unannounced?”

Jade smiles, half concealing it with a hand. “Oh my. Look at you, you already sound so much like our dearly departed Azul.”

“D– dearly departed!? He’s in my body, not deceased!”

[acircusfullofdemons]

CROSSFIRE DASHBOARD SIMULATOR

Finally got around to making one of these! I choose my Crossfire Gang bc they're ... probably not the most chaotic of the bunch, but definitely the funniest imo. Also this could be 100% canon ngl. I kind of wish it was bc the discourse & drama they'd start would be hilarious.

Learn more about Crossfire here.

🏴‍☠️ davvyy-jones Follow

Good day everyone today I will be assigning you a pirate to kin. 

🏴‍☠️ davvyy-jones Follow

@/riverbunny: ur jake from jake and the neverland pirates.

🐇 riverbunny Follow

:/

🏴‍☠️ davvyy-jones Follow

@/kingwolfe you’re Connor Kenway from Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag

🦷 kingwolfe Follow

is t because od m name

🏴‍☠️ davvyy-jones Follow

@/thedevilisrich is Jack Sparrow from potc

💸 thedevilisrich ☑️ Follow

Thanks kiddo!

🏴‍☠️ davvyy-jones Follow

@/run-and-hyde is foxy from fnaf

🐇 riverbunny Follow

Wait, he’s not a real pirate

🪡 run-and-hyde Follow

YES HE IS SHUT UP

🐇 riverbunny Follow

HE’S A FOX???

🪡 run-and-hyde Follow

THAT’S ALSO A PIRATE WHAT’S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND

#fuckin dumbass #also ur breaking my dni btw 🖕

🗝 divinityspeaks Follow

Please stop calling @/kingwolfe a dog. It’s demeaning.

🦷 kingwolfe Follow

its. true tough.

🪡 run-and-hyde Follow

but he peed on the carpet????

🗝 divinityspeaks Follow

He did WHAT

🦷 kingwolfe Follow

lol yeah yor care. smells like piss. 

🦷 kingwolfe Follow

hey. @/divinityspeaks why arjje the kods burning vegges.

🗝 divinityspeaks Follow

Uriel made them watch VeggieTales for the entire month. They’ve been like this for two hours now. 

🪡 run-and-hyde Follow

THAT FUCKING TOMATO MUST BUURRNNNN

🏴‍☠️ davvyy-jones Follow

DEATH TO CARROTS!!!!

👻 paperwildflower Follow

I hate broccoli >:(

🐇 riverbunny Follow

ok but I actually need to feed my rabbits so please don’t like. burn ALL the vegetables

🐇 riverbunny Follow

but FUCK bannanas

#tastes disgusting 🤮

🐇 riverbunny Follow

I know I seem very easy to anger but tbh it takes a LOT to piss me off. I’m usually very chill guys I swear!

🪡 run-and-hyde Follow

bunnies aren’t even that cute

🐇 riverbunny Follow

I’m feeding you to connor

#i thought i was on your dni 🤔 #hhmmm #suspicious

📣 cheerycherri Follow

@/riverbunny @/run-and-hyde sometimes I think you guys genuinely hate me :(

🐇 riverbunny Follow

WE DO

📣 cheerycherri Follow

but wwhhyyyyy???

🪡 run-and-hyde Follow

GIRL u accused me of MURDER 🙄🤚

📣 cheerycherri Follow

k but like…you did tho 😐

🪡 run-and-hyde Follow

no tf i didn’t that was @/kingwolfe I killed someone else

📣 cheerycherri Follow

WHAT

#HELLO??? #ON A PUBLIC PLATFORM NO LESS????? #i feel so unsafe omg

🏴‍☠️ davvyy-jones Follow

am I gay?

👻 paperwildflower Follow

What makes you think that?

🏴‍☠️ davvyy-jones Follow

because I’m a pirate and Pirates are inherently gay

🗝 divinityspeaks Follow

Who told you that?

🏴‍☠️ davvyy-jones Follow

@/run-and-hyde

🐇 riverbunny Follow

Uriel said I broke all 10 Commandments. Yewh, even adultery. Which is weird, because I'm not even dating anyone!

#no vin doesnt count #please stop asking about him

🪡 run-and-hyde Follow

yes I make bad decisions that put me in a lot of danger

🗝 divinityspeaks Follow

…but?

🪡 run-and-hyde Follow

no that's it

#can someone pick me up #im in quinns basement #...again :( #it STINKS

🐇 riverbunny Follow

we all have our demons. I just choose to feed mine.

🪡 run-and-hyde Follow

LIAR!!! NO YOU FUCKING DON'T!!!!

#IVE BEEN BEGGING FOR MCDONALDS #FOR HALF AN HOUR #HES LETTING ME STARVE >:( #SOME ANGEL HE IS #NO WONDER YOU GOT KICKED OUT DUMBASS

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

König HC’s ii

part one

Back in black bitches, hello again. CW: I make allusions to shooting an orangutan, but none are actually shot. Is that kind of day here at König Brainrot HQ.

Queer.

His name is Leopold Königsbacher bc I feel Leopold is a horrid name to saddle a gawky weird-ass little kid with, and it doesn’t get much better as an adult. Hates being called Leopold or Leo, someone called him Poldy once and he never talked to that person again, but he depending on the person, he will answer to Lee.

I personally see his face as looking something like Jeremy Allen White’s, but y’know. Significantly more roughed up.

Sub-point: he could honestly be any weird lookin’ white guy with creepy eyes, it doesn’t matter.

Unlike the data mined Ghost face reveal, which I love with all of my heart and keep in a locket on my neck, I can’t accept the data mined König face reveal bc it looks too much like dudes I grew up with. All I can think is, “That man has dip in his lip and a spit bottle in his shirt pocket.” Which is a shame bc it is a good face.

Callsigns as I understand them aren’t really supposed to be related to a person’s actual name, but they can be kind of mocking in nature. So I picture him getting König from his last name was intended for mockery and to degrade him. King of a pile of shit, basically.

Hyper aware of doing anything that could be seen as embarrassing by other people. Movements, weird vocal tics or flubs, how he’s standing, what he’s looking at. Breathing. Avoids doing it if he can, but if that’s impossible, he’ll do them aggressively, bc generally people will avoid someone aggro. When an asshole does something embarrassing assholeishly it becomes scary.

Crooked ears.

Just kinda crashing through life with half-assed ideas instead of plans. He was really banking on becoming a sniper, and that achieving it would suddenly kick some enlightenment and maturity into his ass thereby fixing him. Probably expected that he’d have a house, spouse, and fam by now in the alternate reality where he succeeded. Since he didn’t, he’s just sorta fuckin’ around in a holding pattern as a bachelor in a suburban rental he pays too much for.

Ambivalent towards cats. True neutral. Can take them or leave them.

Fuckin’ loves bears though. Loves a dumbass lookin’ sun bear and will chew your ear off with sun bear atrocity stories.

Also is a rat/ferret/lizard/snake dude. Tell me he has any distinct feelings on feeding pinkies to an albino morph ball python and I will assert that he is thinking, “Food für baby 😊”

Oh my god did everyone else know that emojis could get smalled? Am I the last person to find this out?

I’m giving him this one from me too: he will shoot an orangutan on sight. Hates them. Creep him out hardcore. All other primates are good to go, but orangutans are born destined to rot hell.

Starcraft player, former disgusting League of Legends player. S.T.A.L.K.E.R., Metro, and CS:GO aficionado. VTMB and Fallout 1, 2, and New Vegas lover.

Doesn’t fuck with alcohol or alcoholics, but had/has a binge drinking problem - the duality of man. LOOOOVES uppers though, and doesn’t know that Battle Rage is just Military Meth, he’s somewhat strung out on it when he doesnt take leave as often as he should.

Buys shoes and clothes in bulk when he finds them in his size. Has 3 sets of tennis shoes in the back of his closet and 6 pairs of hiking boots/regular boots for KorTac work.

My lunch is getting cold, love you, bye.

[daughterofsarenrae]

I can’t bring myself to do any deep dives into political podcasts or discussions, would you summarize the latest? What are the reactions post debate? Most of my coworkers are going to vote trump but they treat me (an obviously queer person) so kindly. It’s dispiriting.

hiya! preferencing everything i say here with a "this is an extremely close race and will be until the very end" disclaimer but! we are not in doom and gloom mode we are in determined hope mode imo

post debate: fox news anchors were saying on air immediately after the debate that trump lost. like straight up they COULD not spin it in a way that he won. harris challenged him to another debate like hours after and i think it was today where he was like "no i totally won 100% so im not doing another" which. makes him look like a coward running away from facing her again bc he and everyone else knows he lost. so that's fun! of course he could go back on that bc he switched between he would/wouldnt do this debate like 8 times leading up to it. u cant trust anything out of his mouth! who knew?

ANYWAYS so that post i rb'd earlier was true: about 1/4 trump voters said the debate made them reconsider their vote, and i thiiiink wapo cited 6% of trump voters DID change their vote post debate. debates dont traditionally have anything to do with election results but it might be a good indicator in this one. most undecided voters' stance is "we dont know enough about harris's positions/policies" bc her campaign is like. 1.5? 2? (i forget) months old. the debate was her chance to lay her policy out for a HUGE audience- i think it was 67 million people watching? whereas trump: everyone knows who he is and what his views are. he is a known figure and people have made decisions. she is not known. and her core message that debate was "i am not trump or biden, i'm a new way forward" which for all of the people who were not wanting to vote for either trump/biden (bc of policies or age or WHATEVER) is important. national polls are close with harris trending up basically since her campaign started, but the important polls are the swing state ones, which typically are either tied or harris up by a tinyyyy bit.

the important thing here is: trump has his base. they will vote for him no matter what. generally he's kind of capped off how many voters he can get. people who are undecided/abstaining wouldve committed to him by now. harris is the unknown here, which means she has the greatest potential for growth, esp among undecideds and abstaining voters. the general view is they want to know more and are open to learning more. she's only done the one big mainstream news media interview so far bc she's been uh. a little busy! between constant rallies and the dnc and debate prep and such, but she's also been doing (almost?) daily local radio interviews. extremely grassroots campaign stuff. but also she's gotten fuckin. liz and dick cheney's endorsements. and a lot of other republicans. AND ALSO one piece of extremely good post debate news: taylor swift's endorsement. i think i saw a number today where in the 24 hours since her post, over 400,000 people clicked the link to the voter registration website so. extremely encouraging

the maga push to make harris/walz seem super extremist is very funny and also not sticking at all bc walz is literally the most normal guy ever. and every time jd vance shows his face he says something even more self-incriminating. trump distances himself SO much from vance it's so funny. clown show party over there. trump keeps flip-flopping on signing an abortion ban bc the evangelicals will hate him if he doesnt but it's also an extremely extremely unpopular position so he can't really say anything about it without alienating part of his voters

ANYWAYS this is. i guess kind of a summary? i didn't link sources bc im lazy and just got back from work but i will find them if u want me to. and also if u have any other things u wanna know this was extremely general

keep donating keep talking to people keep volunteering! the more voters we get out the better chance we have. esp if you're in the south check your voter registrations. block anyone who encourages you not to vote. most importantly dont give in to the fear. it's ok and normal to be anxious and afraid of this election, but don't let it shut you down. seek news that doesn't just talk about trump, elevate news that talks about harris. remember- people know enough about him that they're committed to him already. letting people know about harris' policies is going to do much more for bringing undecideds into the fold than talking about whatever insane shit trump is on about on any given day. AND ALSO campaign and donate for every other democrat on the ballot. vote blue up and down. let's set harris up for success with a congress that'll actually let her do shit

[maybanksbabe]

Ok so I hate cheating tropes

BUT I had this fuckin idea in my head for a few days now and holy shit

Little lamb already being in a relationship with someone that her father set her up with (maybe their dads are like really close or something) but meeting rafe and his family at church one day completely ruins things

I'm talking about little lamb telling her parents that she's going to church for some late night bible reading and her dad gives her the key to the church and she tells her boyfriend (let's say his name is Richie) that her father doesn't really let her out past curfew unless it's for a good reason (her curfew is like 8pm and 9pm on a good night but if it's for like church things than he's like reluctantly agreeing while little lamb's mom is ecstatic about her loving Jesus or whatever) and that coming over to her house without invitation is like a big no no (even though rafe is like coming over whenever he can cause you know he's a BadBoy™️)

And like rafe gets her a necklace that matches her purity ring (this is a little self indulgent here but not the point) and the necklace is like super expensive and had a really nice 'R' on it and Richie thinks it for his virgin ass but really the rafe Cameron

Her father kinda despises the Cameron's bc of all rafe's run in with the law but also because of the cover ups that ward does for rafe, he thinks that all of the Cameron's, except for wheezie, are sinners because

A. Rafe is an absolute psychopath and a 'delinquent' (he's not wrong y'know 👀)

B. it's rumored that Sarah is not a virgin and that she cheated on topper (so the exact 'opposite' of his little girl THIS ISN'T MY ACTUAL VIEW OF SARAH IT'S JUST WHAT I THINK THAT RAT BASTARD PREACHER MAN WOULD THINK OF HER)

C. Ward used to be a pogue (he's an evangelical Christian of course there's going to be some classist bullshit going on)

D. Rose is seen as the other woman even if it may or not be true (since we don't know what's her deal it's either she's a homewrecker if ward divorced his wife for her or she's trying to replace Cameron's ex wife is she's dead or missing, I DON'T HATE OR THINK OF ROSE LIKE THIS IT'S JUST WHAT I THINK AN ASSHOLE EVANGELICAL PREACHER WOULD THINK OF HER)

E. He thinks that wheezie is just an innocent soul trapped in a troubled family (again he's not wrong but he gets all high and mighty over it, y'know bc he's a preacher and has major savior complex problems, he probably offers bible lessons from his youth pastor for wheezie but she begs ward not to do it and he listens for once, preacher bitch gets mad but doesn't say anything and honestly he thinks that ward is corrupting her innocent soul but mama lamb jumps in and says it's fine)

BUT that him and his family being all kind and forgiving towards them and welcoming them into the church will do wonders for rafe and his family so he kinda just puts up a fake smile at the Cameron's whenever they enter the church but little lamb's mom is like 'stop being so mean, Jesus said to love thy neighbor and gosh darn it that is what we will do even if they're... sinners' she says with a forced smile as she lightly scolds him in the back so that no one will hear them and she makes little lamb be all friendly towards rafe and the rest of the Camerons. I imagine little lambs mom is like way more cool about this kinda shit than little lamb's father

Rafe likes to tease little lamb about losing her purity ring as he's balls deep in her and says something like "oh baby... Looking at that ring knowing that you're not married and that I'm not your boyfriend is really does make this so much more fun" He grunts and thrusts harder into her as he laces his hands with hers as he plays with the ring absentmindedly as he reaches one hand down and play with her clit as he grins

"and the fact that I'm doing this in your family's church really is doing something for me" he chuckles and feels her pretty pussy flutter around him as he says these dirty little things "fuckin on the church pews... Who knew the preacher's daughter had it in her" she's clawing at his arms trying to bring herself back to earth but rafe knows that isn't going to work so he grabs her hands

"you keep moaning like that and people might come in here to see what's wrong" he holds onto her hand again and puts it back on the pew "and if people come in here they won't think of you as a little lamb anymore" she moans into her hand but he can still hear her little high pitched moan as he holds her hips even tighter as she's bent over the pews

"what if" she cuts herself off with a moanas she gives up on trying to silence her moans and holds onto pew for dear life and looks at her purity ring without a care in the world "what if that's not what I want- oh!" She grips the pew she's bent over with a harsh grip, and looks down and takes a glimpse at his cock intruding her perfect pussy "oh my freaking god!"

"c'mon baby, I know you can curse" he leans in and whispers in her ear "I've heard you do it before, playing with your pussy in the church bathrooms cursing my name AND god for 'sending me to test you' oh I know all about that" he chuckles and rubs her clit even faster

"oh my fucking god! That's so good" she holds her skirt up and let's rafe see her bare ass as he's taking her from behind "holy shit that's fuckin good" she moans out and looks back at him He laughed and let her fuck herself back onto him "now just where did you learn that, Little lamb" he says as he looks at her cute round ass bounce as she's moaning loudly again

"I'm not stupid, rafe, I've seen my fair share of videos" she huffs out a laugh before it turns into more, almost feral, moan and reaches down and guides rafe's fingers around her clit just the way she likes it and lets her skirt fall over then again before rafe just lifts it up her waist "oh god just like that, holy shit"

"maybe I was wrong" he says as he takes control back and thrusts even deeper in her "maybe you're just a wolf in sheep's clothing, huh?" He lets her rub her clit as he thrusts into her at a faster and an unsteady rhythm as he feels her getting closer too "oh my little wolf is surely full of surprises, ain't she?" She nods her head before he pulls her hair to make her look him in the eyes as he takes her from behind "c'mon answer me, little wolf" he makes eye contact with her and enjoys the fucked out look in her beautiful eyes as she struggles to even think as she moans so loudly and plays with her nipples with one hand and plays with her clit with the another

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Him calling her little wolf instead of little lamb is so funny to me 🤭 (you can ignore this but I had to get this out of my head and I'm actually kind of scared to post this on my main so you're cursed with this thought... My bad 😚)

This au is based on the idea of what would happen if little lamb's family isn't at all what it seems, so you know it's kind of a more self righteous than the wards but at least there's no drugs or run-ins with the law or cover ups for said run ins with the law or infidelity (mostly 👀)

HOLY SHIT IS RIGHT ANON OH MY GOD????

It's been so long since we've had a Little Lamb and Rafe moment I'm HERE FOR IT 🤤🤤🤤 I literally have no notes on this the description, the content?!! THE NECKLACE?!!?

Lawwwdddd forgive me I'm about to fucking SIN -