#im not ever gonna get out of here anyways. i dont know why i bother trying when i know ill end up dead before 25 either way.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[ribbonzregretz]

posting so much rn bc im losing my grip on reality but i stay sillyyyyy

[vaguenotions]

Oh, yes, I just love your unannounced sleepover where you both come back from the bar after carefully avoiding telling me that's where you were going, and also neglecting to tell me when you'd be home! I definitely do not want to knock you on your ass and take a bat to your dome! That would be rude and unnecessary :)

Oh yes, please do start talking about shit amongst yourselves and make me feel isolated and othered in ny own room! These moments are what I live for, of course. Naturally. Who would ever have any issues with this arrangement at all?

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: married to robin edition

— kinda implied that robin is some "celebrity" but i kind of just enviosioned her just being a really successful writer or smth LOL

— male reader ! ! !

liked by nico.robin, nrs.husband, and 12k others

uso_pp: bro is definitely a mama's boy

tagged: nico.robin and nrs.husband

nrs.husband: well i call her mommy in bed anyway so it checks out

-> uso_pp: DEAR GOD.

dni_nami: they're both so whipped for each other, true love is real igggg

[liked by nico.robin, nrs.husband, and 90 others]

freeluffy: is it normal to be this clingy with your girlfriend...[name]'s behavior seems concerning guys ://

-> roro.zoro: it kills me how serious u seem about this

princesanji: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MEEEE

liked by nrs.husband, dni_nami, and 30k others

nico.robin: my husband is so thoughtful - he's never forgotten to give me floewrs whenver my older ones die <3

tagged: nrs.husband

nrs.husband: if my baby loves flowers IMMA GET HER FLOWERS

-> nico.robin: and i'll treasure them each time my love

princesanji: robin, i too, remember that you love flowers - do you love me now :3?

SUPERCOLA: i thought im the ways of being a SUPPPERRR husband well

-> nrs.husband: SUPPPPEERRRR

dni_nami: were these from your garden?

-> nico.robin: yes :) he has been tending to them ever since he planted them for me so now that they're grown, he made them into a bouqet

[liked nrs.husband, roro.zoro, and 100 others]

-> dni_nami: UGH I DONT KNOW WHY I BOTHER ASKING it's too cute i might kill MYSELF

liked by nico.robin, princesanji, and 20k others

nrs.husband: before and after the event, so proud of my beautiful girl

tagged: nico.robin

nico.robin: your support means the world to me <3 i love you so much

-> nrs.husband: if you have 1000 fans, i'm one of them. if you have 100 fans, i'm one of them. if you have 10 fans, i'm one of them. if there are no more fans of nico robin in the world, then i'm dead. i love you so sososososo much more my love

uso_pp: someone check up on sanji-

-> roro.zoro: i just heard a thump from the room over, i'm gonna assume he just fell to his knees

skullnsoul: such an elegant couple - YOUNG LOVE IS SO BEAUTIFUL

-> nrs.husband: brook you're like ten years older pls ur not an old man yet LMFAO

-> nico.robin: thank you brook :)

liked by nrs.husband, dni_nami, and 20k others

nico.robin: my favorite place in the world is his arms

tagged: nrs.husband

nrs.husband: i'll start crying right now.

nrs.husband: I DONT DESERVE YOU UGH

uso_pp: photo creds robin?? cmon now my work aint free

princesanji: what did [name] do in a past life to deserve a goddess such as yourself, robin-chan?

-> nico.robin: sanji you need to move on <3

[liked by roro.zoro, dni_nami, and 400 others]

freeluffy: mama y papa :DDDD

-> nrs.husband: LUFFY LMFAOOAA

liked by uso_pp, nrs.husband, nico.robin, and 11k others

dni_nami: the one time we get to see robin and he's hogging all her attention....wtf

tagged: nico.robin and nrs.husband

nico.robin: dw nami i reserved us a girls day at the nearby resort <3

-> dni_nami: mommy? sorry, mommy? mommy? sorry...mommy??

-> nrs.husband: hello????

uso_pp: as if he doesn't get to spend eveyr waking second with her like cmon bruh

-> nrs.husband: my BADD for loving my wife jfc i cant win w u guys

nrs.husband: omg send me this photo she looks so cute here hehehe

-> dni_nami: stfu.

nrs.husband's story:

i love lovelovelovelove my beautiful wife. everyone is just jealous she's mine <333

nico.robin replied to your story: i wondered why nami just texted me she hated you — you're very cute with this story, [name]. i love you too and am glad that i can call you mine as well <333

[kindlespark]

this is gonna be SO long and rambly sorry anyway i saw a post abt how babel does queer characters and it got me thinking abt why the tropes it uses would usually turn me off other stories but didn’t here

MAJOR BABEL SPOILERS //

i feel like i’d be more mad abt how robinramy ended up in babel if it marketed itself as queer lit at all or if its fans were going “WOW AMAZING QUEER REP” abt it. but no one told me any of that, so finding out they were gay was just a fun little bonus surprise to me. i get why ppl are eh abt robinramy not getting together/technically still being subtext (which i dont think is really true btw like the book literally says “robin was falling in love” but idk i guess if you were stupid you might’ve assumed that it was falling in love with oxford given how romantic some of the other language is (WHICH IS ALSO THE POINT bc i think robin’s friendship with ramy blurring into romance is why he romanticised like all his friendships/experiences in oxford BUT IM GETTING OFF-TOPIC)). i just think robin’s repression abt being gay was intrinsically tied to his attitudes on imperialism (wrt refusing to acknowledge anything that complicated his life until it was too late) and i don’t consider it a cop out or queerbait. like i genuinely don’t think robinramy could ever have gotten together without drastic alterations being made in terms of plot and character. plus i think it’s clear that kuang didn’t want to write a story with any kind of focus on romance at all, because it’s not that kind of book. there’s no successful het romance either, so it grates a lot less. the only reason romance is included at all is to show the ways in which white entitlement manifests. so the tragic way robinramy played out just made sense to me.

and i speak as someone who accidentally spoiled myself on You Know What in the middle of reading and i was like ugghh boooo dreading it the whole time expecting to roll my eyes when it happened but then when it did i was like. wow im actually not that mad LMFAO 😭😭😭 actually thematically the book sets it up so well that i believed that this was unfortunately the only way it could’ve gone. babel is about the loss and tragedy and grief that colonised people experience. it’s about the lengths people will go to to uphold empire and the lengths ppl will go to to tear it down like idk 😭 i guess it is bury your gays but it didnt bother me this time because i thought it fit thematically ❤️ i enjoy tragedy as a genre a lot and i would’ve made it gay anyway you know. thanks rf kuang for doing it for me so i didnt have to.

WHICH IS ALL TO SAY that i guess if you’re going into babel for the queer rep without appreciating that the story is fundamentally a tragedy it would feel like it’s just reusing tired tropes….. but i think the choices kuang made were rly deliberate and not in a way that feels like trauma porn or shock value. the book is fundamentally about the struggles of poc so the layer of queerness that was introduced felt like a subtle extension of the experiences of characters of colour in the book, and i enjoyed and related to it as a queer chinese person who kind of realised they had to prioritise their fight for the liberation of poc over queerness mainly because the idea of western queer liberation cannot be dissociated from imperialism and many aspects of homophobia as we know it was an export of christian european empire into our colonised countries in the first place and FUCK THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER TANGENT ABOUT HOW I THINK RAMY AS A CHARACTER IS EMBLEMATIC OF THE TENSION AND STRUGGLE THAT QUEER POC DIASPORA HAVE BETWEEN OUR IDENTITIES GODDAMNIT OK FORGET IT POST CANCELLED i just rly think babel’s handling of queer characters is fine and makes sense and i like it personally and maybe i will make a coherent analysis about it one day but that day is not today byeeeeeee

[kavehayi]

kisses on space street • NEBULAE

aventurine x gn!reader • fluff (ongoing series)

chapter summary: pretty boy aventurine has completely taken over your college campus and everyone is warning you to stay away! however, (un)lucky for you, he's got his eyes on you.

author's note: finally doing this series😭 ive been meaning to and nothing ever came to mind to get rid of my writer's block but now im delivering the first chapter☝️

August 23rd, 20XX.

first day of college. you had to try and find your way around the huge campus from the library to the food hall to the area where your actual major resided. the place was a little overwhelming and you had a bit of trouble making your way around.

however, someone came up to help you find your way around.

aventurine. the man with beautiful eyes, is talking to you, an average person. "heya, pretty, you look lost, where do ya need to go?" he cooed in that sweet, honey-like voice. you looked a little shocked he was actually talking to you of all people. guess he sensed that since he let out a lighter chuckle, "ya look shocked, you good?" he asked, now you just have to snap out of it.

you spoke up, "yeah yeah, im...uh, fine, just looking for where my professor's classroom is at" you spoke politely. you didn't wanna waste his time, especially because he definitely has better people to talk to. you showed him the classroom number and his face lit up, "hey i have to go there too! i found it earlier, follow me" he stated pretty enthusiastically. you followed him to the classroom and he opened his mouth again.

he does not know how to shut up, huh?

he spoke up, "so, pretty, you livin' on campus?" he asked. you didn't really wanna tell him this but you went ahead and did it anyways. "uhm, yeah, im living in a dorm with a roommate, don't know his name though, didn't bother looking at the sheet." you cant believe you said that. now hes gonna bother you about looking at the sheet. "oo! let me see for you, i know everyone here" he didnt even really ask to see it, he kinda just stole your papers and looked through. judging by how his face lit up.

he was your roommate.

great.

he left you alone after he lead you to class and when lunchtime came, you went to the nearby cafe to speak to your friends. seems they had some warnings for you. "hey loser! over here!" they called you over and you sat down.

"yknow guys, i met the most obnoxious guy ever today" you started off, catching your friends' attention. your friends' names are robin, a music major. brother is sort of all over the place but he's nice. robin is also a travelling musician so there's some weeks where you never see her but she keeps contact. veritas ratio, prefers being called ratio. older than you and robin and is a junior in college. you guys only met because he accidentally threw chalk at your head when you were a junior in high school minding your business in math class.

"cant be as obnoxious as aventurine, i mean, he's literally loud and pretty so he gets away with it" robin stated and you went really quiet.

"so what if i said it was aventurine?" you questioned and robin dropped her sandwich on the table and ratio, sorta didn't show a reaction. kinda just glared. "stay away from him! he locks his eyes on someone and then ruins their life from what i heard!" robin stated with a scared expression and ratio just scoffed. "all you hear is rumors, miss robin. why dont you just get to know the guy for once, hm?" he asked her with a glare her way, robin just picked up her sandwich and ate it with a pout.

"always have a way of bullying the poor girl, huh, ratio?" you asked him, in which he just grunted and sipped his tea. "anyways, aventurine, i seriously cannot escape him, he's my roommate and in my class" you stated, robin just about imploded.

"no way! good luck dealing with him, dont be too interesting around him or else he'll target you" she said with a nervous sounding voice. you guys ended up finishing our lunch and parting ways, you and ratio going back to the campus while robin had some things to do back at her studio.

the entire day passed you by and it'd already been nine at night. you started heading back to your dorm, hoping that aventurine wasnt there. yet of course, nothing you wish for, actually happens.

"pretty! you're back, how was your first day?" he cooed, he had friends over and he didnt even bother considering how you'd feel about that. "it was fine, im going to my room, dont make too much noise" you stated before walking away. aventurine didnt think you'd be this prickly.

whatever, not like it mattered.

why should you care how he feels.

too bad for you though, he's interested in you now.

[sonikkublue]

goin on here to rant so most my ppl dont see, im not that active here anyways so who cares, i sure dont. my year has dragged me to my lowest point till ive become sucidal again. i dont like thinkin abt it but its there

i want to quit. i want to quit friends, i want to quit art, i want to quit everything. everything. including my au. i want to drop dead off the internet and prob go kill myself or reflect or smth. idk, one of those is better than the other, but again i dont know. everything is always hurting and ive been so numb to everything since this year has started, its only gotten worse. my friends arent makin this any better either

im done bein used, im done getting manipulated, im done seeing ppl favor one another right in front of me, im done w/ ppl not listenin to me when i try expressin smth im struggling w/, even if it wasnt much or none at all. i dont even vent a lot or at all. why?? cuz no one ever fucking listens, gets mad at me while i try talkin, pushes my issue away w/ another topic immediately. they my friends act more excited towards the other everyone else gettin smth meanwhile i get lil to none. i recognize im not gettin appreciated as everyone else in my friend group, like they're uninterested in me anymore. that they dont care. ive tried bein positive, i cannot. my friends have offered and offered and offered for me to talk to them if im ever bothered- "u can always talk to us if smth wrong" or smth like that...ok?? last time i broke down in call, one of my friends was playin cookie run to distract themselves, so they werent even fully listening...another time i just got flat out ignored, my issue got pushed aside by another art topic, "damn". NO ONE FUCKING CARES. i already know the cycle. too many times ive lived thru it and im only enabling it by gettin vulnerable. at this point, i cant trust my own friends cuz its so hard too believe them when they keep doin the same thing to me over and over. they're trying to prove smth to me to make me think they care. i dont fucking believe it cuz no one has ever shown care back for me, regardless of how much i give to them. theres that word again. i give so fucking much, and i hate myself for bein this way. most of the time i wish my au didnt blow up cuz its put so much pressure on me like the new friends that came and left in my life, me realizing i have to maintain an audience... idk, maybe im a lost cause. i cant do any of this anymore. i want to die. i dont like thinkin it, but i want too. theres so much stress, so much unbearable stress and anger. and no one will fucking care. ive been hurt by my own friends too many times. i dont say anything cuz its just gonna happen all over again, no how many times i *try* and bring it up to them, they will not fucking listen. no one ever fucking listens to me. i didnt like makin friends from the beginning, ive loved bein alone from the start, but everything happens naturally...unfortunately

i give and give and give and i get absolutely nothing back. im all used up.

idk everything fucking sucks rn. i didnt have to worry abt all of this when i was a smaller acc and i had myself. thats all i needed. now im just miserable. im depressed, sucidal thoughts are everyday, i cry to myself everyday and night cuz of it, im stuck living w/ this thing i made out of my pure "imagination" and that same thing almost made me kill myself one time, ive almost killed myself twice a couple months back- one in my parents bathroom and almost sneakin out of my window to wander away from home.

one day im goin to leave, and im not gonna say a word

[triglycercule]

I need to ask the mtt expert, do you think any of the murder trio would be religious?

ooooof this is a hard question to answer because personally i dont practice any religions specifically so i cant exactly offer the best answer to this DXXXX but i'll TRY. take everything i say with the fattest grain of salt. imagine the grain of salt is a salt lamp because i genuinely dont know that much about religion and belief

so i guess the first thing to consider is sans undertale since he's the one that all the mtt originate from. i dont think sans canonically is religious like at all. so if i wanted to take the easy route i COULD just says sans doesn't worship anything so its unlikely that any of the mtt would. but i wont because i have honor. i doubt that any of our surfaceworld religions wouldve made it into the underground since theyve been seperated from humanity for a long ass time. and i think undertale has its own belief based on the delta rune anyways so im gonna stick to that since it seems more plausible than just saying that dust is a hardcore buddist or something

for horror my answer like hell no. he mightve prayed for the angel described in the delta rune to save horrortale or something but i think those are just like desperate times call for shitty tries for ANYTHING to work. he literally describes horrortale as "living in a place like this is like living through an eternal hell" and i think that being in a place like horrortale would kill anyone's hope for some sort of angel to save them. plus i think he's too aware of the issues going on in horrortale to try and put his faith into something that doesn't exist AND also he wouldn't use religion as a moral guide. considering that he literally said in the horrortale flash game that he's "given up on figuring out what's right and what's wrong" (my king with an absolutely terrible moral compass LET'S GOOOOOO) (i love the horrortale flash game. i even have the quote saved because its such a good and important line for horror)

as for dust i think there's more of a possibility of him being religious (undertale delta rune based religion not any of the real world ones). the delta rune says that an angel who has seen the surface will descend from above and bring us freedom OR a harbinger of destruction as the angel of death, waiting to free monsterkind from this mortal realm. mostly gerson's words i stole this from the wiki because i cant be bothered to play undertale more than once. when translating dust's canon fics SPECIFICALLY the one called "a true hero appears" the topic of dust "liberating" the monsters of the underground and "granting their wish" to be free (even though he himself doesn't believe in the underground ever being free especially while hes in the middle of his "mad time") comes up. i dont think dust views himself as an angel at ALL like described in the prophecy but he could view himself as a "savior" type of person. it could be a really coincidental coincidence or it could be dust deciding to take up the role of the angel except a really really shitty one out of a desperate try for something to help like i mentioned with horror earlier. if we're going this route then him taking up the role of the angel could provide a sense of comfort that religion does and also shape his moral compass (i keep bringing these 2 things up because idrk why people worship. so i researched why so i can better support my arguments!!) with all the salvation liberation bullshit. personally i dont think that dust would exactly believe in himself as THE delta rune angel but more of just some sort of rouge savior but the possibility of going in a more delta rune religious way IS there

killer is in a completely different situation than dust and horror here (i'm not like the rest of yall ahh. get back in the original fishbowl you goldfish fuck) because he's AWARE of what arguably could be considered god in an utmv context. and obviously that's US the creators (players in his eyes. smh dont you know i havent played undertale in forever. i needa go back and do a true pacifist run. i did neutral because im shit at dodging attacks. but call me a CREATOR you second dimensional FUCK. you are a lower concept than me call me by a name i DESERVE) because for some reason and i completely forgot why he's aware of the creators. i think this could go in maybe two different ways where since killer is very much so aware that there are millions of gods(/creators. every one of us that creates something for utmv is a god in their multiverse LMAOOO) out there that he could completely just avoid religion itself since the usual reasons of comfort and moral alignment are completely debunked and pointless once you know that the gods that you could believe in just view you as code or characters to play around with. no comfort or morals to align with there. OR it could go in another direction where since killer is aware of the creators that he actually does end up worshiping SOME sort of us-based religion??? (what would that be called. do you think that theres a religion for all the self aware utmv characters who believe in creators. creatism. creationism. idk but would ink be the leader of that??? prophet type ass guy for creatism. this would be a cool concept someone else steal this from me and make a cooler story with it.) anyways i got side tracked. doesn't killer already believe that he has to do things that the creators want or something??? which COULD provide the moral compass part of religion. its definitely not a good moral compass but whatever killer believes his god wants of him he'll do. and also it might provide some sort of nihilistic depressive comfort knowing that everything is out of his hands and predetermined by a higher being. he already has that whole "lowly servant who'll do whats ordered of him" type shit going on. not unlikely that that could apply to the creators (or chara possibly. that relationship would be interesting if killer viewed them as a god and worshipped them as such. HM.)

anyways those are my thoughts on if i think the murder time trio would be religious. this was actually way longer than i expected but maybe thats just because i ramble a lot and have a lot of side thoughts. PERSONALLY i dont think any of them would worship a god just because i dont practice any religion and it makes it easier for me to characterize them without the religious barrier there. but also i do think there are possiblities of the trio all believing in a god (with horror maybe hopelessly believing the in the delta rune, dust becoming a delta rune esque figure, and killer's entire schtick with knowing about creators) but everyone has their own fanon interpretations on these characters!!! so if you wanna make them believe in religion or something then go then ahead and do that. maybe those possible points i brought up where they could worship a god will inspire someone or something idk. triglycercule OUT (off to reread horrortale for the 20th time today)

[gaydelgard]

OK heres my real cons list for fae farm after like 25 hours

1. some of the quests and shit are REALLY esoteric and unclear. like early on the mayor asks you to make a decoration "with flowers". this is not elaborated on and theres no early acquisition recipes that actually involve flowers or even LOOK like they involve flowers. and like any potted plant item will work for the quest but i had to google that. its BAD. thats kinda the worst example but like when your barn gets unlocked they basically DO NOT TELL YOU. the appropriate entires are unlocked in your almanac and thats your only clue that new stuff unlocked. or the fact that you have to buy alternate wing styles from the wisp mother but it never tells you that you just have to go back to the wisp mother and notice theres an option to open her shop inventory. what in the goddamn!

2. ive encountered one bug thats impacting my gameplay, where the animals in my coop have stopped producing. apparently its fixable if you sell and buy new animals but its like is it just gonna happen again. pls patch soon

3. the shallow npcs havent really bothered me, i click thru a lot of the day-to-day greeting dialogue anyway and my imagination can do a lot of legwork in fleshing out dynamics, im not worried about it. but one thing that IS very weird is that one of the non marriage plot npcs is nhamashals cousin right so nhamashal talks about how they grew up together in one of his date scenes. he calls this character by name BUT in the friendship menu hes just 'the marquis' and no one ever calls him by name that ive seen except in one of nhamashals mid to late optional romance cutscenes. thats pretty wild!

and i mean i know its shallow as hell like i said but its still disappointing that even if youre engaged to nhamashal mathelion (the marquis) doesnt mention it at all lmao. and ive never seen him mention nhamashal either, his cousin he grew up with. sad!

thats just an example where even if basically nothing else changed abt the romance characters and the way that worked they could still improve on the worldbuilding and shit just by acknowledging it

and ppl have said it bfor i dont rlly need to but the way relationships are sorted into romantic or not romantic is definitely A Choice

it doesnt bother me so much personally but i understand why it would other people, and i definitely think it would be better if it wasnt like that

still really enjoying the game tho thise are just my critiques

[hesitatingspirit]

I. Boy v. World

it feels like the world is against me sometimes.

and i dont know how to make it clear that i just want to be left alone. say hi my name is adam nice to meet you please dont hurt me im just a boy please i just want to be treated like one of you. you dont have to even talk to me but if you refer to me just maybe say he but if not its okay & i’m still too aggressive. say nothing at all and i’m just too difficult to even bother with at all. loser from the start, this is an eternal summer and you’re god’s least favourite cold-blooded experiment. strap in and enjoy the ride: you’ll be here for a long time.

If I am offended by someone calling me a woman, I am too much. I am one of those trannies that makes everything about them, the spitting image of the blue-haired, big-mouthed, angry-faced caricatures of trans individuals created by the right. If I am not offended, I am making a bad name for my fellow trans siblings by not standing up for myself when people misidentify me. I am normalising the idea that people are allowed to “mess up” on purpose, label me as whatever they want. I can never win: The only way would be to never get misgendered again. To not even have it be a possibility…

But we all know that this can never happen.

No matter what I do, I am always wrong,

because what did I expect when I chose to do this?

I mean,

Everyone knows how the world feels about people like me.

What DID I expect?

Would it have been easier for me to just stay a girl?

Easier for which one of us?

The world is run by spiders weaving complex webs of lies and careful misinformation, all vague enough to seem true to those who only catch the news in passing and parrot it at work, conversing at the water coolers. But being wrong is a disease, and baby, it's contagious: Mask up and shut your mouth and maybe even your ears too.

They are just trying to provoke me. They want to make me step out of line, so when I finally say “hey im a bit uncomfortable” They can finally say

I knew there was something about him!

He is one of those, he lied!

He DOES make his identity his whole personality!

No. It seems that my identity has become YOUR personality,

because my gender defines everyone but me:

The way people react to my face usually tells me all I need to know.

I can recognise a cold gaze from around the corner,

through a brick wall and from a mile away

I'm a psychic, honey, and I'm never gonna change,

so dont shoot the Messenger, okay?

and it goes like this it goes

boy with mustache makes a face when stranger calls him a girl

boy with mustache apologises for the trouble in case stranger noticed

stranger scoffs i dont see why it's such a big deal you can't expect everyone to understand

boy says i know and i’m sorry

boy goes home and forgets what he looks like.

It kinda goes like this:

different place wake up with a different face who am i today well everyone sees different things

but you know me i ride my own wave, this is My summer soundtrack

i am a skateboarder i am a stoner i am a rockstar

i am a bleach blond baby boy abandoned by god and i will never die again

mask after mask name after name

another ring around my eyes after another night awake

bags full of sleep deprived weekends staying busy with a racing head

lids heavy with the memories of endless nights

it’ll weigh me down ‘til i’m lowered into my early grave

and all the brick roads and sunsets up in my favourite singer’s hometown will never hit me the same

ghosts see the world differently,

ever so slightly colourblind

translucent lids half-covering eyes that have grown so tired from all they’ve seen

an eternity an observer

an eternity more to go

the people who care what you look like or hate what you listen to aren't really people that should be in your life anyway. so i don't care too much when they cut me off.

i don't care at all,

i just find it so insane that somehow i'm hurting people by being alive. by breathing.

if i enjoyed the shapes of the words she and her in your mouth if i enjoyed the twang of their sound waves if i could love the way the words hit my eardrums then my existence would be pure, a gift from god and i would be a miracle

but because i stand up for myself

because i have committed the crime of wanting to be happy

i am irredeemably evil

forever unclean,

stain on society and a file best left unopened.

top secret, confidential. don't ask, don't tell, but tell them what you don't know, tell them what you want to think. don't ask, don't tell, but they’ll always ask, and you’ll always tell.

“we don’t talk about her anymore.”

“she went crazy.”

“i heard it was drugs that did it.”

“i heard it was schizophrenia.”

“i think she was into witchcraft.”

god forbid a boy want to be loved: god forbid i avenge my death.

porcelain is so easily cracked,

you don't think i have a right to self defense?

i have to crawl out of my grave because this city is all i know. and this place can get so damn cold.

my rebirth will be slow. it will be terrible. and it is commencing.

[kurjakani]

FOR THE CHARACTER ASK THING!!!!! Im quite curious about your peter lucas thoughts, whats goin on with that old man?

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

PHEW THANK YOU I LOVE TALKING ABT THIS MAN. I'm gonna say. I definetly have a bit of a version of him in my head - it's been ages since I listened to MAG and he's kind of taken a life of his own. Also sorry i got so rambly here man i. Ill b real im lik3 right abt to fall asleep but i got exited abt him so here i go nevertheless..m

Sexuality Headcanon: HMM like. Bi. I dont think i can imagine him call himself that tho.

Gender Headcanon: old man. Like thats a part of his gender identity, being old.

A ship I have with said character: w MEEEE. My mag self insert. Lol. But yeah i am not that into the lonely eyes ship, just. Bc i do not care abt Elias all that much! I don't know many ships that include him otherwise. I haven't seen mary keay and plukas shipping but I'd love to. Idk. Awful vibes i think it could be great. Salesa maybe??? But I feel like its more like. Plukas likes looking at Salesa and Salesa kinda forgets hes even there sometimes.

A BROTP I have with said character: martin please. Please martin hang out w him tricking him into thinking ur getting more into the lonely but ur actually occupying his space and u are drifting away from the lonely TOGETHER. Also if u guys have heard the tim & plukas behind the scenes jokes abt cayacking and train documentaries. Yeah that too theyre """"buddies""""

A NOTP I have with said character: haven't come across anything that bothers me !

A random headcanon: i am really split on weather he barely eats or if he's like, a lowkey foodie. Idk why.

General Opinion over said character: For me I do view him as someone HURT by his loneliness, though in the show, if I recall right, he seems quite content? With his existance. Or says he is, and how he's drawn to it.

I will say- I partially mirror some of my own experiences of loneliness onto him. I was so afraid of opening up to people at one point that I convinced myself that I WANTED to be all alone. I used to want to move into a little cottage in the woods and cut off all contact to people. But it was a self destructive coping mechanism. At points a survival mechanism. Maybe canonically Peter Lukas is a reliable narrator?

I recall him talking about the warm glow coming from the windows of houses though, and the loneliness it made him feel- if i'm attributing this right. And i have a really hard time contributing that to anything but YEARNING. And reveling in yearning. I also have experience w that. Yearning is a DELIGHTFUL feeling.

So yeah I think I do find a lot of comfort in the version of Plukas I have in my head.

Honestly he's burrowed a little nest into my head abd become something beyond a little blorbo from my shows.

Like i have thought about marrying him as a performance art piece. But i dont think rustied featherpen would like that.

Anyways hes the hands. I reach out to the old hands with swelled joints and paper thin skin almost translucent yet the palest veins i ever did see like they'v been drained. Bro. He is the medival manuscript where the sun orbits the earth and that's his eyes and where they land on me. He is so far away and like honey 2 me bro

[butteredteeth]

TW: Vent

Topics: toxic mother, severe anxiety

So lastnight I was sobbing super hard about feeling like I'm being abandoned by my best friend (not specifying which, I hate doing that) and while I was crying I got all raspy as one does when bawling their eyes out to the point their throat bothers them. So she told me "those noises arent necessary" and that I "cry differently every time I cry". Which is, let me know if I'm wrong, A NATURAL OCCURENCE FOR HUMANS?? Anyways then she kept trying to comfort me after I said I was just gonna leave the room because I didnt even feel like crying into her shoulder anymore and would rather cry alone. So when I finally left I kept silently sobbing, hoping she didnt hear me. And I tried watching South Park for a distraction, barely worked. Did my makeup finally, distracted me really very good but trying to go to sleep was difficult because I am still so terrified I'm going to lose them. So I took an indica 10mg gummy and watched South Park until it kicked in enough for me to sleep. Woke up feeling like shit this morning. My calves hurt, my knees hurt, my arms are sore, my neck is super tense, my back feels like it's being snapped in half with every movement, and worst part? Yesterday my therapy was cancelled so now I have to wait a week to get all of this shit off of my chest and get advice and a good talking about my emotions and irritability. And today we went to the furniture store to get my mom a new chair and previous to that we were waiting for the family buddy to get here, he helps with furniture moving and we rarely see him other than that. My mom tells me to "not be all over him and playing with him like that" when I'm acting like a kid my age should. Only time anyone EVER plays with me, my sisters dont, my mom cant, and anyone else who can doesnt want to or feels like im too old because im too mature. I always say I'm too mature to play and stuff but I do it ALONE that's why. The family buddy practically adopted into the family at this point. Hes like my older brother. Feels like my mom hates to see me play and have fun and genuinely laugh. She did apologize because "now that she thinks about it, its just her insecurity an anxiety about people thinking I'm a brat" which really hit a hard one in my chest because SHE.

SHE.

Used to call me a spoiled brat for having panic attacks, meltdowns, and anxiety. She has always pushed her stress onto me. Never tried to hide it to save my mental health even when I was like six. I let her vent to me, I take care of her, I suggest therapy (LIKE ALL OF MY SISTERS DO) and she just refuses or puts it off because her current therapist isnt the right fit. So now everyones just stressed and all that I soak up and now I'm fucking panicked and shit every god damn day.

[coconurt]

Marcanne Week Day 6: Long-Distance/ Promise

Heyo! I missed yesterday's, but I'm back!

Have a slice of life Marcanne chatfic that ran way longer than I intended it to! (First time writing a chatfic, hope it turned out ok)

Tagging @a-wild-potato and @purple-autism-turtle

~~~

September 4th

11:17

Marmar: Hey Anne! Check out my new haircut!

Marmar: newcut.jpg

Marbles: My sister did the undercut for me

Frog girl: :0

Frog girl: MARCE IT LOOKS SO GOOD

Frog girl: wait when did u get that piercing

Marbles: Which one? :3

Frog girl: are

Frog girl: are you flirting with me

Marbles: Am I?

Frog girl: …

~

September 17th

17:02

Marbles: WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO COLD IN CONNECTICUT

Marbles: I MISS LA

Frog girl: why don’t you just put a sweater on /hj

Marbles: I have three sweaters on, miss smarty-pants

Marbles: I’m still cold

Marbles: It’s only September, what am I going to do in January?

Frog girl: put on another sweater

~

September 30th

21:47

Frog girl: have u talked to ur parents yet

Marbles: No, not yet

Marbles: Still trying to decide how to bring it up

Frog girl: ok

~

October 10th

01:22

Frog girl: guess what :)

Marbles: What?

Frog girl: I GOT A 98 ON MY BIOLOGY TEST!!

Marbles: AAAAAAAAAAA

Marbles: Anne that’s great news!!!

Marbles: I knew you could do it!

Frog girl: thanks again for helping me study

Frog girl: i hated to bother u, but i probably couldn’t have done it without u

Marbles: 🥺

Marbles: Anne you never bother me

Marbles: It’s not like studying with you over video chat is some big ordeal anyway

Frog girl: still i just…

Frog girl: i appreciate it

Marbles: 💚

Frog girl: 💙

~

October 15th

08:35

Marbles: Miss you Anna-banana

Frog girl: miss u too marbles

08:47

Frog girl: promise me you’ll come home for winter break?

Marbles: Promise

~

October 21st

15:02

Marbles: Look at this thing Sasha sent me

Marbles: https://www.tumblr.com/iguanamouth/160457891587

Frog girl: LMAO

~

October 31st

10:58

Frog girl: domino finally let me get her into her halloween costume!

Frog girl: costume.jpg

Marbles: OMG SHE’S SO CUTEEE

Marbles: I miss Domino

Marbles: Give her a pet for me

Frog girl: will do

~

November 4th

18:23

Marbles: THEY SAID YES!!!

Marbles: I’M COMING BACK TO LA FOR WINTER BREAK!!!

Frog girl: :DDD

Frog girl: MARCY THAT’S GREAT!!

Marbles: I’m so excited, I’m going to get to see you and Sash again!

Frog girl: I KNOW

Frog girl: although to be fair, you did see us last weekend

Marbles: That was video chat

Marbles: It’s not the same and you know it :(

Frog girl: yeah i know :(

18:41

Frog girl: hey, how did you get your parents to agree

Marbles: I promised them I’d be home two days before classes start, I’d Skype with them every day, and that I wouldn’t slack off on writing admissions essays

Frog girl: oh ok

Frog girl: that’s great but…

Frog girl: i thought you weren’t applying…?

Marbles: Um

Marbles: I may not have told them yet

Frog girl: oh

Frog girl: that’s ok marce

Frog girl: theres no rush

Marbles: Thanks

~

November 8th

02:26

Marbles: Anne

Marbles: Anne are you up

02:31

Frog girl: yeah i’m up

Frog girl: are u ok?

Marbles: Um

Marbles: No

Marbles: I’m really sorry to bother you but

Frog girl: marcy please dont ever worry about that

Frog girl: i’m always here for you ok?

Frog girl: was it a nightmare?

Marbles: Yeah

Frog girl: do you want to talk about it?

02:39

Marbles: It was so awful

Marbles: I’m so scared right now Anne

Frog girl: hey it’s ok

Frog girl: you’re gonna be ok

Frog girl: can i call you?

Frog girl: would that make it easier?

Marbles: Yeah

Marbles: I think so

~

December 5th

16:45

Marbles: It’s official!

Marbles: I just bought the plane ticket! I’m coming back to LA in two weeks!!

Frog girl: YAYYY!!!

Frog girl: I LITERALLY CANT WAIT!!

Marbles: I KNOW

Frog girl: im gonna hug you so damn hard

Marbles: And I’m gonna hug you right back

Frog girl: 💙

Marbles: 💚

16:56

Marbles: It was really cool of your parents to let me stay with you guys

Frog girl: pfft, come on marce, they LOVE you

Frog girl: they’re just as excited to see you as i am

Marbles: Aww 🥺🥺

Marbles: Thanks Anne

~

December 11th

12:37

Frog girl: MARCY LOOK

Frog girl: T H E B E A N S

Frog girl: dominobeans.jpg

Marbles: AWWWWWWW

~

December 18th

19:52

Marbles: DAMN IT

Marbles: I CAN’T FIND MY CHARGER

Marbles: I’m literally leaving tomorrow and I can’t find it anywhere

Frog girl: did u look under your pillow

Marbles: I think so

Marbles: It wasn’t there

Marbles: Anne I'm freaking out, what am I going to do?

20:04

Marbles: Nevermind I found it

Frog girl: was it under your pillow

Marbles: …

Marbles: No comment

~

December 19th

05:13

Frog girl: TODAYS THE DAY!!!

Marbles: TODAY’S THE DAY!!!

06:25

Marbles: I’m gonna get to see you face to face today!

Frog girl: I’m gonna get to see YOU face to face today!

Marbles: EEEEEEEEE

Frog girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

07:36

Marbles: I’m at the airport!

09:01

Marbles: Getting on the plane in a few minutes!

Frog girl: have a great flight marmar!

Marbles: Thanks!!

02:17

Marbles: Landed!

Frog girl: we’re at the gate! You can’t miss us!

02:25

Marbles: I SEE YOU!!!

~

December 20th

09:26

Frog girl: glad ur back marmar :)

Marbles: ???

Marbles: I’m sitting right next to you?

Frog girl: i know <3

Marbles: Well why don’t you say it to my face

Frog girl: oh i will

Bonus: they kissed <3

[auspex]

I wanted to send in an ask for the in-character ask meme for mark but i couldnt think of anything, so instead i ask you to ramble about one of the things regarding mark that makes you lose it! Stuff you're totally so Normal about in a Lying way!! It's so fun hearing about that stuff as well as WHY it makes you lose it, yknow?? does this make sense??? hope it does lmao

k im breaking out this ask cause im doin bad. if you dont know or care about mark dont bother reading htis - i found that sometimes my mark tag shows in the general vtm tag and im sorry.

im so normal about how vampires live forever but also live in constant danger (usually)

on the one hand Mark knows he has eternity

on the other hand he knows that in a few nights it could be his last

but the man lives off denial and so he focuses on the first one.

this intersects w some of his... motivations in interesting ways

for example a main one is who he considers it his responsibility to protect sampson. but ok 1: he is a ghoul, so he'll live forever but does he want to? 2: its a dangerous world so protecting him is a big task and can he do that forever? and 3: what happens if sampson does want to live longer but turns against him either emotionally or in a deeper way? what then.

like basically the situation he's in... can it last forever? probably not. will mark grapple with that fact? No <3 its fine for now cause he isn't even a year in yet but it will be a problem at some point...

another one is serving Julius. so far julius has not asked anything too heinous of him but if there truly is eternity that's not gonna last forever. also, mark doesnt know this, but I Do, that when the pyramid falls, the blood bond may traumatically break but that does NOT mean Julius is gonna let go - only become more coercive, with mark more aware of the shit spot he is in. i am going to go absolutely insane when that happens. mark is gonna have a mc'freakin breakdown and if sampson isnt his friend at this point idk what he will do cause thats the only person in his life who could possibly understand.

Ok and finally just how literally like. ok so. mark struggles against the beast like every kindred does and GENRALLY does well because of a promise to himself after he murdered a guy in hunger frenzy, that once he gets That Hungry (mechanically hunger 4) his top goal will be reducing it and at hunger 3 its one of his highest goals. Like he has to believe he can keep it in check. but with eternity... mistakes happen. like there isnt any way he could prevent himself from ever making a mistake like that again. he is in such denial about it though. and when he fucks up again he'll be forced to accept that it will happen Another time, and Again. itll be so delicious <3 (like the blood i mean what)

Anyways.

mark believes he is taking a long view of things but he truly is NOT. he's just using that idea to Cope. he tells himself he has to settle things in his territory, w sampson, w such and such julius task, then he can sit down, study like he wants to, keep things in check ; but here is the thing. vampire society isnt like that. things are gonna shake up eventually. because you either die fast in one of those shake ups, or you live forever always long enough to see another one.

he is telling himself to just go a little longer, push a little harder, and then he can rest. then itll be ok.

but that might not ever come.

he has to learn some coping mechanisms soon... or have friends. hes not in a place where he could actually step away and get a break.

he's getting there on the friends bit w his coterie mate rose cause she agreed to stop dating Lucky (LOTS OF CONTEXT NEEDED WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT BUT IT IS ) and that meant a lot to him and he'll be more willing to open up to her in the future- but i think that will still require some sort of come-to-jesus moment where hes like. Oh shit im doing really bad actually.

which he is

but if you ask him, he will just say theres a lot going on and he's somewhat stressed <3 omg

anyway thanks @eric-the-bmo for my life

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Dear Hatterstan

I have been part of the fandom since the release of the first season, but I had been pretty disappointed since my fave (hatter) was super underrated, and never really found any content on him.

But I recently found your blog and god it has been a goldmine for me. Your old writings have been my bedtime stories these few days.

What I mean to say is that I really appreciate what you do, I actually made a Tumblr account because the site would let me keep reading if I didn't JAJAJAJS, I honestly dont even know how this site works (or if this is even the right way to reach out to you, but I might as well try)

But seriously, thank you so so much for what you do, you are one of the few people giving me content to fixate on, and the fact that its super good too!?!! I feel like I won the lottery with your blog. And I felt like I should formally thank you for it, I know I could keep on being a ghost and not interacting with anything wich it's what I used to do, but I realized it might be nice knowing people really enjoy what you do, aaaa English is not my first language and I'm not good with words, but I hope you get what I mean TT

Aaa I rambled too much I ended up making a Bible, im sorry for that!

Anyway, thank you so much for everything TT♡

This is legitimately one of the best, kindest messages I've ever received. Seriously. I cannot thank YOU enough for stopping by.

...And BECAUSE you sent me such a lovely message, you get your own little drabble!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Storm

Rating: General Audiences

Pairing: Takeru/Aguni

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Completely OOC, but what if Takeru was stupidly, ridiculously afraid of thunderstorms? And it's the middle of the night? And there's *gasp* only one bed? I bet you can't possibly imagine what's going to happen here...

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

"Mori. Mori, are you awake?"

"I am now."

Aguni Morizono pokes his head from beneath the bedblanket. With a groan of sleepy displeasure, he rolls over to see a familiar silhouette standing in the doorway.

A jolt of bright flashes throughout the room, lighting up Takeru's expression of horror. A wall-rattling clap of thunder makes him jump.

"Mori," Takeru hisses. He hugs his ridiculously-patterned bathrobe around his waist angrily. "You have to do something about this."

"Do what?" Rain pelts heavily against the window. "I can't control the weather."

"That can't-do attitude is exactly why you got demoted to number three in the line of succession. I mean, you haven't even tried—"

Another flash of lightning stops Takeru mid-sentence, his voice morphing into a shaky yell that has Aguni squishing his pillow on either side of his head to try and drown out the noise. It doesn't do much.

"I hate this. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!" Takeru runs a shaky hand through his mussed-up hair. "You know how I am with thunderstorms, Mori. They're so loud and unpredictable—"

"Like you."

"—and I feel like I'm gonna freak out if this goes on for much longer."

Another, smaller rumble of thunder rolls by, and Takeru's whole body stiffens. It's almost sweet, the way he gets so upset over something so simple as a storm. Aguni can't help but feel a stab of fondness behind his heart.

"You're not gonna freak out," Aguni says. He reaches out in front of him and grabs a handful of comforter, gracelessly yanking the blankets back to reveal the unoccupied side of his bed.

"Come on," Aguni sighs, "get in."

Takeru looks like he's about to protest, but lightning has him scurrying across the room and sliding into bed like he's stealing second base. He quickly folds the heavy comforter up to his nose and squeezes his eyes shut as tightly as he can.

"You really are bothered by this, aren't you?"

Two flashes of lightning and the rain roads even louder. Takeru yanks the covers over his whole head and groans.

"Yes," Takeru snips, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. He pokes the comforter up with his finger just enough to glare at his new bedmate. "It's the end of the world out there! How can you be so calm?"

"We need the rain," Aguni shrugs. "This'll be enough to keep the Beach up and running for a good while."

Takeru grumbles. He can't deny the benefits of such a torrential downpour, but it's clear that he's less than thrilled about the sky's method of delivering water.

"Yes, well..."

More thunder. Even Aguni jumps a little at that one, the sound much louder than before. He doesn't even notice that Takeru has wiggled his way to the middle of the mattress and now rests mere centimeters away from his person.

"I hate to ask you this, Mori, I really do," Takeru says softly, "but, seeing as we are both currently in the same bed—"

Takeru doesn't get to finish his sentence. Aguni flops a tired arm around Takeru's shoulders and rests his open palm on Takeru's back. Aguni pretends not to be pleased when he feels Takeru lay his head on his chest and snake an arm over his stomach.

"Knew I could count on you, Mori," Takeru hums. He wriggles around a little, trying to find the perfect, most comfortable spot to settle in. "I don't know if you're aware, but you're an exceedingly comfortable man. It's a shame you always snore so loudly."

"Not as loud as you," Aguni says. "You're gonna steal the covers, aren't you?"

"I'll only take what I deserve."

Lightning flashes, but this time, Takeru doesn't seem as upset. Aguni rubs small circles on his back as his breathing begins to slow.

"We'll discuss your inflated ego in the morning," he says. Takeru makes some kind of muffled noise of acknowledgement, face squished into Aguni's chest and rapidly losing his battle with consciousness.

And, despite the storm, both men manage to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Listen. Sometimes, being an adult means you just need a goddamn cuddle. And these two? Oh, yeah. They need it. Badly.

[thoughtfulmentalitything]

teehee ive returned... ok so now im in college and just like I thought, I am not a fan. the academics are fine but theres a decent amount of work all the time and its stressful to me cause it feels never ending. I will do my assignments weeks in advance but it seems to never give me enough time to relax. well not that I can relax at my dorm, my roommates are so annoying and loud and are all messes and project it outward. however, I did stop sh around september 2022 so its been four months since then. but also whenever something happens where another person is upset and takes it out on me or theres a somewhat valid problem I cant help but think about doing it which is normal. but I think its gonna come back soon and im fine with that. it makes me happy. its almost like a form of self care for me cause I can actually get all the bad feeling out of my system and just onto my arm instead. like its fine and I truly think that. anyways another issue though related to how bad my dorm is because of my roommates is that I finally told my parents about how terrible it is and that I dont even sleep there anymore (but I only go back home like once or twice a weekend each month when I have breaks) and I fully am just going home cause I have break or need to catch up on homework... but now they just think im not addressing the issue and not facing my dorm situation which, uh yeah obviously im not going to. when I dont come home on weekends on breaks to get away from the dorm, I just stay at someone else's house or dorm on school days and weekends. like??? I literally do not have the capacity to be there. but now im getting really triggered at home too because I told my parents about my issue... which why are they responding like that. id rather just off myself than have to live at my dorm or home. I really need to sh. I know my living situation issues are temporary but they make me feel really bad and become unproductive and fat. all I do is hide away in my room at my dorm all day when im not out for classes and gorge of fat disgusting pig food. im so fat now. I need to loose weight im always bloated and fat looking. if I was skinny I would at least be 3/4 happy inside my body and the 1/4 of unhappy in caused my external forces that make me upset inside can just be fixed my sh. tbh I need to make my sh not eating and working out too much instead of cutting cause hiding the cuts is so annoying like I dont feel like wearing long sleeves in the summer again. I need to not eat any processed foods and get on track to just have no appetite (I didn't for like a week long time period in the beginning of January). anyways im just really upset now and turning to my venting on here cause I dont want to bother anyone with my problems anymore since clearly telling my parents the most basic issue ever is not being received well. like really. just make you child happy. but nooo they dont know about how suicidal I am and any of my other issues cause I dont tell them. they just dont dress anything either. like I need a breast reduction and my mom was just like well talk about that later... well it is much later now and guess what, still haven't talked about it. id rather just die right now. I cant endure 3 more years of college at the place im going right now. I just cant live in the state I do right now and need to move. everything would be solved. but for now, all I can do is loose 20 pounds and be skinny and smart so I can exist in a physical state thats tolerable to me. I just need a break from everything else though. ok ill probably return later but at least this vent right now stopped me from racing downstairs and picking out a new xacto for a real release. ok bye bye