#i should get a diary. or i could suck it up and talk to people like i oh so desperately want to. i wont do either

[ribbonzregretz]

posting so much rn bc im losing my grip on reality but i stay sillyyyyy

[summerfullofsnow]

.

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

FOLIE Á DEUX ─── jonathan crane ✧

ೃ⁀➷ “Not all love is gentle. Sometimes it's gritty and dirty and possessive, sometimes it's not supposed to be careful or soft at all. Sometimes it feels like teeth.” - Azra T.

pairing. professor!jonathan crane x stalker!reader

summary. you’ve been stalking your professor for 8 months, keeping track of his movements with your diary. one day, said professor informs that you left something of yours behind in his office…

warnings. swearing, choking, p in v, dacryphilia, oral sex (f), dubcon (if u squint), stalking, breeding, orgasm delay/denial, unprotected sex, hair pulling, student-teacher relationship, SMUT UNDER THE CUT

word count. 4.5k

a/n. this is my first ever smut, so if it sucks i really do apologize. also, im kinda unsure where the plot on this one went, but whatever! lastly, i do try to keep all my fics gender-neutral, but seeing as this is smut, i had to choose, and the reader is afab.

“Miss [Name], please stay behind after class. I need just a moment's worth of your time.” Your professor said absently, not looking at you, when he handed back your essay on the human id.

You hummed, nodding your head carefully. “Yes, Professor Crane.” 

Inwardly, you swooned at his choice of words: “I need just a moment's worth of your time.” He’d highlighted the existence of both you and him in the sentence, as if coexisting together, with one another, was plausible.

Later, when class ended, you’d packed up all your things, and walked into Professor Crane’s office off to the side, where he was tidying up. 

“You asked me to stay behind, sir?” 

“Yes,” Crane acknowledged your presence, looking at you squarely. “You forgot something in my office during our last tutoring session.” 

Your eyes widened slightly, both at the fact you’d left one of your items behind, and that your Professor had seen the item, and knew it belonged to you. He hadn’t mistaken it as his own, or anyone else's - he knew it was yours.

“Oh!” You said, a beat later. “Thank you for telling me. Where is it, exactly?”

“Before we get to that matter - do take a seat - I believe we need to have a, ah, talk.” He gestured to the seat in front of his office desk, the same seat you sat on every Wednesday at 6:30 for the past few months. 

“A talk, sir?” You pried, but sat down anyway, reveling in the one-on-one time you were experiencing with your favorite professor. 

That was the main motivator for getting tutored by the man - you adored going in, having an entire hour of him all to yourself. 

Prior, you pretended not to get some of his lessons, let your grade in his psychology class slip to a pitiful mark so low he couldn’t ignore it. You’d started the semester with a stellar grade, so he took it upon himself to offer tutoring - he knew you could understand his method of teaching, and theorized that you hadn’t been able to pay attention in class because of the sheer size of people attending. 

In actuality, however, you understood everything completely - it was merely your obsessive attraction following him like the sound of thunder trailing behind lightning. 

Crane scrubbed his face when you sat, thinking intently on what he wanted to say. “I need you to understand, Miss [Name], that a student-teacher relationship is completely taboo. Such a thing can never - should never, occur.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, and suddenly, you were reminded how you hadn’t seen that book in a while, you hadn’t read it when you woke up, when you went for lunch, you hadn’t even written anything about him for the day—

Your professor slid open one of his desk drawers, and pulled out the familiar pocket notebook you kept with yourself at all times. 

“I’m telling you about rules, Miss [Name], because you forgot this.” He said, voice low. “And, pardon my intrusion, but the stuff you have written here is quite… intriguing.”

Your heart began racing in your chest, a cold sweat trailing down your back. “Professor, I- whatever you read in there—“ You began, but froze when he opened the notebook, thumbing through the pages. 

Crane cleared his throat, looking intently at the words. His expression changed several times as his eyes flitted over your writing, and you felt your body burn with shame. 

“January 26th. Professor's gloves were found in the nook of his podium. I was looking for the green apple he’d forgo from finishing, his teeth tracks fresh on the alabaster flesh, but found his winter wear instead. Gloves were brought home - I imagined he’d come over to mine, undressed his biting winter clothing, and forgot his sweet mittens here.” Your professor read your diary out loud. Crane looked like he enjoyed your shame being laid out bare, but you were too absorbed in a whirlwind of emotion to notice. 

“P—Professor, please, I - I can explain, I didn’t mean anything—“

“April 17th. Professor came down with a flu, like I expected. I saw him walking in last week’s evening downpour and waited for what day this week he’d call in. Later, he bought cough syrup and aspirin at the convenience store. I watched him struggle to care for himself, covered head to toe in blankets, missing meals, barely able to keep upright. I wish professor knew how well I could care for him, how I fulfill his every request and need. I saw how touchy he was, how he fidgeted, that feverish want — I could satiate him like no-one else.” 

His lips enunciated every word, and the longer he went on reading, the dizzier you felt; your professor, your darling, had found out - he had found out - he had found fucking out -

“Be honest with me, Miss [Name]. Do you stalk me?” Your professor said, slipping off his wire-framed glasses. The man leaned in closer now, elbows resting on the wooden desk. 

Your eyes darted away from him, looking anywhere but forwards. You felt like you had been stripped away, so bare your professor could count how many ribs you had, how many minor hairline fractures your tattered bones had collected over the years. You tried to analyze the man’s reaction through your peripheral, but it was to no avail - he was as cold as he had been during class, during your entire time knowing the professor. 

You breathed, in and out, analyzing the situation tenfold, precisely, trying to find a way out of this place alive, dignity intact. Then, you found it. 

This man had ensnared you, entranced you with his delicious charm and carefully spoken words. You repeat inwardly to yourself: Crane knew all the right words, all the right places to touch. If he dared press charges, you would tell the world he hurt you first. 

“Yes, Professor Crane.” You nodded, unabashed after deciding how to deal with everything. He can’t touch me with this. I’ll just go first: please, he took advantage of me! I needed to pass his class… and he offered a solution to me. He’s lying! Lying to you all. He just wants to destroy me… and hide his sin.

“The human body knows when someone’s watching them, but you haven’t noticed, not once in the 8 months I’ve watched you. You didn’t notice, even when I followed you home, even to Arkham. Every obscure outing you’ve had, I’ve been there.”

“I’m quite alarmed by this information, Miss [Name]. Moreso by the absence of your remorse.” Crane said, but mere seconds later a low laugh was drawn out of him, looking more amused than alarmed if anything. 

Crane’s tone was husky, nearing a purr, and he clasped his large, calloused hands together contemplatively. “What were you going to do to me, Miss [Name]? Or were you just going to watch, standby my life?”

You chewed the inside of your cheek, unable to respond to his provocations. You didn’t want to alarm him further, tell him you’d been planning to finally have him, once and for all, as soon as you got a hold of his house keys and got the chance to replicate your own pair. You didn’t tell him that you were barely restraining yourself from knocking him out during your tutoring sessions, wanting your darling all for yourself for more than an hour a week. 

“Are you not afraid, Miss [Name]? What I can do to your life with this information? How I can ruin you, paint you mad enough to be admitted to Arkham?” he continued, closer than ever before and whispering in your ear. His plush lips brushed past the shell of your ear, making your heart skip a beat. 

You winced, both from the feeling of him near you and his sweet voice spewing poison in your ear, but quickly composed yourself, for you knew things he didn’t know you knew. 

Then - you weren’t quite sure what possessed you, but - your hand came up to his hair, tugging so he could hear you, “Professor - or, should I say… Scarecrow, what would you do, if I told the police what Gotham University’s psychology professor did in his spare time?” 

“What would you do, if I plastered pictures of the renowned Doctor Jonathan Crane wearing the familiar burlap sack mask all over Gotham - especially in places the Batman frequented?”

“I can destroy you, sir.” Your voice was quiet, but dangerous, a terribly alluring thing, like a melody Crane heard a long time ago and remembered every time he smelt the must of an old piano. “Don’t push me.”

This time, Crane stilled, turning to face you fully. His gaze had darkened, looking at you through his long lashes. “My dear, you should’ve just told me how bad you wanted to find out how this fear-toxin of mine can break you.” He whispered, so quiet you had to strain yourself to hear. 

With your professor's warm breath fanning on the nape of your neck, you couldn’t help how you squirmed, clenched your thighs together - especially when you had been dreaming of something like this for the past eight months. You couldn’t count how many times you found yourself with your hands down your pants at the thought of your darling professor having his way with you… controlling you completely. 

You didn’t answer the man for a moment, gulping down the dryness in your throat. “Would you, sir? Would you let fear dominate me like those tortured souls in the Narrows?”

Crane’s eyes trailed across your face, then he pulled back, leaning in his chair, a grin all teeth and no tongue spreading across his lips. There was something there, you realized, something he noticed in the intone of your voice - had he noticed the neediness, the warble as your thoughts went elsewhere? The arch in your back, your body desperate to be as close to him as possible?

“Can I tell you what I think?” said Crane, rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. “I think you want me to. I think you want me to see you tremble… shake in fear… you want me to hear you beg. I think you want to be utterly consumed by me.” 

The deep timbre of his voice, the suggestion in his words, how he stared you down with each syllable, sent electric shivers down your spine. You took in a sharp breath, leaning your head back to look at the ceiling, compose yourself, when—

Crane’s rough hand gripped at your throat, thumb caressing the little notch at the center, and your heart fluttered, jumping at his touch. 

“Fear is an addicting, beautiful thing, is it not? You’re afraid of me, but you can’t help how fucking needy you are.” Your professor spoke, pressing down further on your neck. He had noticed. 

His touch made your skin feel like it was on fire, the rough pads of his fingertips digging bruises into your delicate skin. It was the most delicious thing you had ever felt, and you leaned into it, despite the connotations of death by asphyxiation looming over your shoulder. 

Your professor manhandled you, dragging your weak body over to his side of the desk, hand still curved neatly around your throat. You were growing dizzy, a fearful, pleasure-filled fog slowly clouding your mind, and you couldn’t speak. All you could do was let out little squeaks of surprise & pleasure, a moan rumbling out of you as he pressed down further. 

Crane was saying something, but you couldn’t tell under the pressure. His facial expression was all you needed, however; his eyes were bloodshot, lustful, so laser-focused that, if looks could kill, you’d have been long gone, while a feral grin replaced his emotionless facade. Crane’s usually well-kept appearance had dissolved, and his hair was askew, tie loose, buttons haphazardly undone. 

Suddenly, the man pressed himself flush against you, pressing his face into your hair, your neck - losing himself in you. His tongue flicked out, dragging a long stripe down the side of your neck, and you jumped, a startled whine tearing out of your choked-up throat. 

His grip on you tightened. “What? I’m just having a taste. Is that so wrong?” At your wide eyes, and silent response, he let out a fitful laugh. “You’re coated in shame, darling. You’re sour.”

You squirmed - not because you didn’t enjoy it - you just couldn’t breathe, but Crane didn’t care. His fingernails were sharp, maybe even drawing some of your blood.

“Plea— sir, I can’t breathe,” you stuttered out raspily. His face remained unchanged while listening to your pathetic pleas, before he leaned in close. 

“Beg for it. Beg like you’re terrified for your life. You might as well be,” he said, and he began pressing his thumb into the center of your throat, choking you fully now. 

You nodded - as much as the allowance between his hand and your head allowed, anyway. “Professor, please,” you said breathily, “please let me go. I’ll do any- anything, just puh— please stop.” 

“Ah, there it is,” Your professor cooed, eyes shutting at the sweet intone of your pleaing, distressed voice. He was losing himself in your words. “Keep going… and don’t forget the crying. It's my favorite part.”

“Let - me go! Please,” you whimpered helplessly, mustering thick, heavy tears to form at the corners of your eyes as you saw black spots dotting your vision. 

A lump formed in your throat, choking your words. “Please… stop! Let me - breathe,” You said, leaning delightedly into his touch. His other hand was now digging painfully into your hip, as if the professor were focussing intensely on holding back. 

“Look at you go,” Crane clicked his tongue, eyes opening and gazing deep into you. He pulled you in closer to him, letting go of your abused throat. 

You finally breathed, taking in such large bouts of air you might’ve choked and keeled over right there. But then, Crane’s hands at your side crawed carefully to your rear, while the other hand came up to the crown of your head to pet you. 

He whispered into the top of your head, “Did you mean it?” 

“Mean what?” You said raspily, your face pressed flat against his bandy chest. 

His hand found the swell of your ass, fingers grabbing hold and squeezing so tight you were sure there’d be a bruise later, “About doing anything. For me.”

You nodded, still not looking at him. This answer didn’t please him, however, and the hand that had been petting you tangled through your hair and roughly pulled you away, to look up at him. “In words.”

“Y— yes. I’ll do anything for you.” You rattled off, prickling pain twisting in your scalp. 

“You’ll be a good girl for me?”

“The best.” 

A grin twisted his pink, plush lips, and he promptly pushed you face down flat against his cold, wooden desk. It was rough, and sudden, pain blooming in your side. But there was a tug in your lower stomach at the way he handled you, all selfish and touchy and focused solely on chasing after his own pleasure. 

Crane’s hands roamed all over your body, leaving trails of fire in their wake. His touch was insatiable, rubbing and petting and kneading at every part of your body. 

His hands found your thighs, squeezing at the flesh, before hiking up your skirt and inspecting your panties. “Oh, you’re fucking soaked,” Crane rumbled out, voice like gravel. “You liked it, didn’t you? When I said I’d admit you to Arkham.”

Then, you heard him kneel down, and begin to press sloppy, wet kisses on your legs. “Be honest,” he said between kisses, “you want me to admit you, have you all to myself in isolation.”

You didn’t respond, instead whimpering and bucking forward when you could feel Crane’s sharp teeth brush over your sensitive skin. He noticed the effect he had on you, and you felt him smile against you. 

“Please,” you keened out, not dissimilar to how you begged him just moments ago, “stop teasing, Professor.”

You felt Crane’s hot breath fan over your clothed mound, pausing for a moment to catch his breath. “Stop teasing, how?” he said at last, before suddenly pushing your panties to the side and licking a stripe up your cunt. He lapped at your lips, collecting your wetness on his tongue, but he didn’t go further. 

“Pro - Professor,” you whined, grounding out a low moan. It wasn’t enough, and he knew it. He liked playing with you, making you squirm and shake and beg for more.

“What? This not enough for you?” He pulled away, and you hissed at the cold that hit you. Then, he tugged, hard, pulling both your underwear and your skirt down to your knees. 

“You want me to eat you out till you’re a trembling fucking mess, don’t you?” He buried himself between your legs, “I knew you were a horny little slut.”

Finally, his tongue found you once more, and pushed deep into your folds. Crane’s tongue ran across every rivet your pussy had, before darting out to your clit, suckling at the velvet bundle of nerves. His touch drew out a high-pitched keen, your back arching. 

You couldn’t see him, face still pressed against the wooden desk, but you could hear him, the filthy squelching of your pussy and his tongue making your knees buckle. 

“Fuck, Jonathan,” you choked out, when he went deeper into your quivering hole, your body tingling like nothing you’d ever felt before. At your reaction, his name curling around your pretty little lips, he went faster, wet mouth brushing against you, licking you up and down, animalistic, following his instinct to a tee.

“Please, wait -“ You said, feeling the knot in your insides grow tighter, the heat washing over you like a steaming shower, toes curling in your flats. 

“What?” He growled out beneath you, not letting up his assault on your cunt. 

“I don’t - don’t wanna come on your tongue…” You said, shaking your head weakly against the desk. “Wanna - wanna feel you in me.”

Jonathan snorted, and continued to lap up your insides, “D’you think you have a fucking choice? Huh? I know you’re a whore, you could do this all day. I’ll just make you come again on my cock.”

Before you could protest, or even just whine at his words, you shut your eyes, feeling yourself come undone, your legs barely able to keep you upright. His hands had reached away from your thighs, rough fingers toying with your fleshy button, maximizing the climax washing over you tenfold. 

“Jonathan, Jonathan!” You practically screamed out, heat in your stomach pulsing rapidly. 

“Ugh, fuck,” You heard him say, “you’re creaming all over my fucking face.” 

You were a complete mess by the time he pulled away from you, your high washing away as Crane wiped the come and wetness off his face. 

“You came that hard, just on my tongue?” He mocked, fingers spreading your lips and observing your swollen pussy as you laid flat, weakly gripping the edge of the desk so you’d stay standing. 

“Well,” he said, reaching down to his pants and undoing his belt buckle and fly, “M’not done with this sweet little cunt just yet.”

Your eyes widened, “I’m - I’m still sensitive, wait-“

Jonathan didn’t listen, however, letting his pants and boxers pool at his feet, stroking himself in the artificial light of his office, which smelt like sweat and sex. 

He spat on his hand, first coating his cock in it, then your parted lips (which you theorized was just because he wanted to feel you up again), before lining up his thick head at your entrance. “God,” he groaned, “you’re so fucking wet.”

You keened at the intrusion you felt between your legs, “Jonathan, please, jus’ - give me a sec to rest —“ You were interrupted however, by the shock of how big he felt. 

You hadn’t gotten a look at him, but as he let himself slowly enter you, you could tell it was bigger than anything you’d ever taken before. “You’re - you’re too big!” you squeaked out, “You won’t fit.”

He laughed, hands resting on your hips as he held you upright. “I’ll make it fit,” he said, before roughly pounding the rest of himself into you, stretching out your inexperienced cunt. 

You choked, his fat cock pushing you wider than you’d ever been before, the pain biting at you, a burning feeling spreading within your lower body. “Jon- Jonathan,” was all you could say, as he slowly pulled out, pure relief written on your face, until he sank right back into you, somehow deeper than before. 

Tears welled in your eyes, as he gripped harshly on the flesh of your hips, making you pound back and forth on him. His cock was hard, and thick, and he was forcing the thing deep within you at an excruciatingly quick pace. Your sensitivity was the cherry on top to this whole situation - you were trembling, body weak, shallow breaths and teary moans tearing out of you at the overstimulation.

Soon, however, the pain slowly dissolved into a filthy, exquisite pleasure that echoed throughout your entire body. The rhythm your professor had gotten to was downright perfect, filling you completely and making you clench in all the right places. Crane made your brain go foggy, focussing solely on the sound of your skin slapping against each other in the quiet, after-hours office, his taller frame encapsulating you completely.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he cooed, hands moving to splay across your ass and spread you open further. “How many cocks have taken this sweet pussy, huh?”

You gulped. “Just,” you started, but then your eyes rolled to the back of your head, stopping you mid-sentence as his length brushed up to your most sensitive spot.

“How,” he gripped you tighter, “many,” slipped out, “cocks!”  then thrust into you roughly, rougher than before and making the desk screech forward a few inches.

“Just one!” You said at last, words choked up as his long cock pierced you. 

“Just one, huh?” He said and began pounding in and out of you faster, rougher, needier, “I bet you didn’t even fucking come, you’re so tight. This pretty pussy of yours is practically virgin.”

“Uh-huh,” you said incoherently, thoughts blending together. “Jus’ a - a fucking virgin for you,” you babbled out, losing yourself in the fast-paced pleasure he was serving on a silver platter. 

“That you are,” Jonathan growled, “you’re just my horny virgin. Mine.” Every thrust he plunged into you brushed up against that plush spot deep within you, making you drool, body going slack. 

“Oh, jesus, you’re so fucked out,” he murmured, looking down at your limp, trembling form. “Drunk on my thick fucking cock.”

The ecstasy was becoming too much for you now, controlling you completely, like if he stopped fucking you right now you’d be so fucking needy, going slowly insane until he touched you again. You knew you wouldn’t be able to fuck anyone else and feel the same; he made you feel fucking feral, instinctual, your id going into drive and controlling you instead of logic. Your darling was the only one you wanted to offer yourself up completely to. He could do anything he fucking wanted to you, and you’d take it in stride. 

“Jonathan,” you keened, feeling your walls clench around him tighter, “m’close.”

“No, you’re not,” he said, voice deep and dangerous, “keep that orgasm in, whore, till I tell you to.”

Your cheeks burned, distraught at the denial of your release, especially when his cock slipped out of you as he flipped you over. Quickly, however, he rammed his cock back into you. You were facing each other now, and you could see how hot and bothered he looked, despite how confident and careless his words had been as he fucked you.

His lips were bitten between his teeth, hair sticking to the sweat on his face, cheeks flushed. He was focussed entirely on getting back that rhythm, and you let him, watching how his gorgeous features contorted as your hot cunt sucked him in. 

Your arms reached around his neck, and he promptly lifted your legs up to hook around his back, making him fill you even further. 

“Fuck me!” You squealed, his shaft reaching places you didn’t know could be reached. It was getting harder to stop your impending orgasm, and your felt fucking sick at how sweetly he was stretching you, how you knew you couldn’t let go no matter what despite the delicious pleasure. 

“Already am, baby,” he grumbled, rutting in and out of you at a dizzying pace. You felt his pace stutter, slightly, and you heard his small, revealing whines of pleasure as his head was nestled in the nook of your neck, and you knew he was close. 

The thought of him coming in you made you tighten and tense, and he felt it, your back lifting off the desk in an arch. 

“Fuck, how’d you get even tighter?” he said shakily, before sliding out of you so far he almost pulled out completely, then let his cock thrust into you so hard you saw stars dancing across your vision.

You merely mewled back at him in response. 

“Come,” he said breathily, “come all over my thick— ugh, fuuuck, just like that, yes,” his sentence was cut off as you let go, letting the waves of pleasure surge through your body like electricity. 

Your body shook, your knees trembled, and an animalistic whine slipped out of your bruise throat as he thrust into you jerkily. Just as quickly as you camez, he did too, and you felt Jonathan’s load shoot straight up into your worn-out cunt, not impeded by a condom of any sorts. Crane’s head cocked back as he did so, jaw clenching as he released his sweet and sticky liquid deep within you, warm and coating your walls completely.

For a moment, he laid atop of you, and you both kept silent, the office filled with nothing but your breathing and the sweet smell of come. Then, he pulled away, both of you wincing as his cock left you, his come dripping out of your weeping hole onto his office floors. 

He pulled his underwear and pants back on, but revelled in your own crumpled form on his desk, your shirt hiked up, your skirt and panties hanging off your ankles, barely there. It was a shame he couldn’t have explored further up your body, groped those tits he loved seeing bounce during tutoring, but his need to fill your pussy up took precedent.

Jonathan swiped a finger into your cunt, collecting some of your combined liquid, and you flinched at the feeling. Then, he licked at his dirty finger. “Oh, baby,” he heaved, “we taste delectable mixed together.” 

You raised a brow, then weakly lifted yourself off the desk, pulling up your panties and skirt (not without adoring the feeling of Jonathan’s fresh, wet come smearing all over your panties and sensitive cunt) before reaching for his hand. He leaned in towards you, and you lapped up the juice on his finger, grinning up at him.

Jonathan looked completely lost in your performance, brows knitted. “Jesus fucking christ,” he whispered under his breath, “where has a perfect little fucktoy like you been hiding from me?”

“Oh,” you said, nonchalant, “just stalking you.” 

[oh-no-its-bird]

Look all I'm saying is that if I were going to make a minecraft movie.

Well, first off I'd put down the first person to even reccomend we do it in cgi. Not just because it looks objectively terrible and half of the magic and nostalgia factor of minecraft is in its texture but holy shit budget much??? You are literally looking at a situation where the cheaper option is also objectively the better option. What the fuck are you doing

But I mean, after that.

Second off, all my writers must watch popular smps and minecraft roleplays/let's plays to understand the "magic" of the game. That's how we're studying for this, not the game books or whatever. Those guys are clearly doing smthn right, and as the executive/writer who knows very little about mineraft that I am in this hypothetical scenario, I need to do my best to make money. And that means learning what people like about the game and community.

Maybe even bring on some popular (non controversial please god) smp writers for consulting. They literally make minecraft movies as their fucking job, they are the expert u need to consult

Story wise, you NEED to choose if you wanna play this straight or silly. I'm so sick of movies trying to be all emotional and "ohh this world is so beautiful,, if u could only understand,, woaa" with their epic sound track and dramatic lighting, but then the dialogue being ripped out of a stupid marvel knockoff trying too hard to be witty

Anyways. Give me a generic "kid has a hard life and uses [thing] to escape it but then their parent trashes [thing] to teach them a "lesson"" movie.

The thing is minecraft and this kid is totally in love with letsplays and smps and has a server with their online friends (get a sponsorship from discord for that good good film sponsorship money, have them play while in call)

The mom or dad or maybe both trash the kids computer for some reason (bad grades maybe or one of those shitty "you need to talk to us more!!! That computer is killing ur brain!!! You don't love us as much as you should and it's that damn games fault!!!" But like it's actually just a kid being a normal fucking kid and having normal fucking kid hobbies things and the parents are dicks)

They delete the minecraft world rip

Them boom, kid somehow gets stuck in the game

Switch to NON CGI FILMING IN MINECRAFT. If you really need to add your stupid shitty fucking cgi then at least make it look like an ACTUAL MINECRAFT ANIMATION holy shit

It'll save us so much money too

So main plot is this kid, being trapped in minecraft, actually falling through different minecraft servers.

We can have different cameos from popular smps and youtubers, get some old youtubers and gameplay in here too. Get fucking dantdm and the diamond minecarts og series with the lab thing, it'll make the old fans lose their fucking MINDS.

The youtubers themselves don't even have to show up, just shove the kid into settings that are clear references to smps and letsplays. Have them wander through Aphmau's OG minecraft diaries sets or Sundee's lucky block series

The best part is that as backdrops, you don't even have to fully commit to "you'll only get this/find this interesting if you know these guys" bc if your writing is good enough you can still make people care by just. Introducing it correctly. Don't present it as "Aphmau's old minecraft diaries series world" go "oh wow look st this cool village,, woah I wonder who built this ,," And have them interact with NPCs organically

Meanwhile the parents go into the game after the kid to bring them back and we do this whole world hopping adventure where the parents learn that,, minecraft can be fun? Actually?

They find the kid and the kid is like "nooo I'm having too much fun the real world SUCKS!!!" but then we do that "it's cool to have fun and indulge but you still need to be present in the real world and do real people things too in order to have that fun responsibly" where somehow the kid realizes that moderation is good for u.

Maybe they almost die in game fr fr? Every world they enter has its difficulty upped a little bit till they enter *gasp* a hardcore world (oh no)

So like the kid learns that you can't just lock yourself in the room and wish the world goes away while you play minecraft for 12 hours straight, and the parents learn that minecraft is cool and fun and can be a good outlet and outlets are important for adults and children alike. And also that they totally pulled a dick move and they need to try to understand their kid instead of just demanding the kid understands them

Somewhere along the way, the kid ends up in their friends server and the friends help to pull them out of the game w the parents

We end the movie with the kid making an effort to be more present with the parents, and the parents also making an effort to interact with the kid in ways that they know the kid will enjoy and respond well to— shown a family dinner scene where the kid very eagerly eats their food while talking about school, then they all go to play minecraft together

The end <3

Oh right and if you seriously want Jack Black there so fucking bad then make him either the dad or like. School computer teacher who helps the kid use Minecraft EU to learn science (shows off that some schools use minecraft for education purposes) who also helps the kids friends pull them and the parents out of the game

Overall, lots of themes not just about how the game is cool and can let you do cool shit, but also about how the community is cool, and how it's provided so many kids and adults outlets to express themselves and have fun together

That's how you do a game movie

Anyways yeah, minecraft movie looks shit. Hire me instead next time

[m-jelly]

hi my dear jelly can I request a bad boy Levi x shy reader where Eren and Jean flirting with you and levi get mean and the reader gets fluster you decide the plot but kind of smutty please 🥺 ps love you're work

Naughty girl

Levi x fem!reader

Modern AU, tattoo artist Levi, shy reader, tattooed Levi, Levi has piercings, bad boy reader, dom Levi, established relationship, pet names, praise kink, fingers in mouth, fingering.

Levi sees his two tattoo apprentices flirting with you, his perfect and cute girlfriend. He tells the two off before dragging you off to his private tattoo room. He locks his door and reminds you who's perfect brat you are.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird

Levi walked with his last booking for the day and talked with her about aftercare. He could tell she was trying to flirt with him, but he wasn't interested because he had the most beautiful and cute girlfriend ever. The love Levi had for you was so strong that he had a tattoo dedicated to you, it was a little bunny because you were his bratty bunny.

He made a note on some papers and whispered to the receptionist. He checked his diary and saw the woman was still waiting. He eyed her and frowned. "Can I help you?"

She blushed hard. "I uh..."

The receptionist chimed in. "Oh, Levi? Your girlfriend arrived while you were doing this lady's tattoo." She pointed outside. "She's having a chat with Eren and Jean."

The girl's shoulders dropped. "Girlfriend."

Levi slipped from behind reception. "Tch, those little shits are flirting with her." He stormed outside as both men were lightly touching you and complimenting your outfit. Due to you being so nice, you just smiled and thanked them. "Oi!" Levi slung his arm over your shoulders. "What the fuck are you two doing with my girlfriend? You should be inside practicing or you won't become artists. Now, get the fuck inside."

Eren blushed. "We didn't know she was with you, sorry."

Levi slipped his hand to your waist and yanked you against him. "She's mine. She's too shy and cute to notice bad flirting. Now go."

You gazed up at your boyfriend. "I'm sorry, Levi. I didn't know they were flirting with me."

Levi growled at you. "You are too sweet and innocent sometimes. Come with me."

"But Levi."

He grabbed your hand and pulled you into the shop and to his private tattoo room. "Don't move." He smiled when you stood there like a sweet little bunny as he locked his door. He turned to you slowly. "Little bunny brat."

You played with the bottom of your skirt. "Grumpy."

He moved closer to you with his tattooed hand reaching out. "Did you not know they were flirting?"

You shook your head. "No. Why would they? I'm yours."

He cupped the side of your face. "I love you, little bunny. You're my everything. You really don't know how beautiful you are." He bent his finger over your bottom lip. He smiled when you licked his finger and then bit his knuckle. "Good girl."

You sucked on his finger and mewled at him. "I'm good."

He dragged his finger over your lip and pushed his finger in and onto your tongue. He moaned as you sucked and moved your tongue against his finger. "I know you didn't know they were flirting. I shouted at them because I was protecting you. I worry about you."

You gasped when he pulled his finger from your mouth. "I know, Levi. I know you love me and I'm so shy sometimes that I just can't tell people to go away."

He ran his thumb over your bottom lip. "If anyone is bothering you, you tell me."

You nodded. "Yes. I will."

He tangled his fingers in your hair and leaned close with his lips almost touching yours. "You have such pretty lips."

"You should kiss them."

He chuckled at your words. "I will." He crashed his lips against yours then slipped his pierced tongue into your mouth. He moaned in delight when you shyly kissed him back. "I love you."

You shivered at his hot breath against your lips. "I love you too."

He held your neck and kissed you as his other hand dragged up your legs. "Can I touch you?"

You nodded as your legs started to shudder in anticipation and pleasure. You locked eyes with your lover and mewled as he delicately moved his fingers up and down your clothed heat. You gasped and felt yourself drooling with desire. You needed Levi's touch.

He dragged his fingers up and down into your panties. "Are you mine?"

You panted as Levi's warm fingers touched your clit. You gripped Levi's shirt and leaned towards him. "Y-Yes."

He rubbed your cheek and kissed you. "Good girl, my girl. Mine." He moved his fingers a little faster. "I love you."

You moaned. "I love you."

He pulled his fingers from you and lifted you up before lying you on his tattoo chair. He pushed his hand back into your panties and moved his fingers against you again. He leaned down and kissed you over and over.

You wiggled and rubbed your legs together causing Levi's hand and arm to be trapped. "Levi."

He pushed two fingers deep into you and started to rub your pussy walls. He watched you arch your back when his thumb moved against your clit. "Look at you, so cute and needy for me. You're my cute little bunny brat."

You gripped his shirt tightly. "I'm yours. Always yours."

He purred at you. "You always know what to say to me." He bit your lip. "Such a cute bunny. Your pussy is so hot and wet. You feel incredible."

You threw your head back as you felt your coil tighten. "Ah, mm, Levi."

"Cum for me, my love." He caressed your cheek and kissed you. "Show me how much you love this."

You clenched your toes tightly. "Mmm, fuck."

"Let go."

You bucked up when you felt the hot snap. You shivered in delight and went to moan out loud at your orgasm, but he crashed his lips against yours and moved his pierced tongue against yours. You hummed and felt your body slowly relax from your body-moving orgasm.

Levi pulled his fingers from your and held them before your face. He smirked as you squeaked a little. He stuck out his pierced tongue and began lapping up all of your sweet honey before your eyes. He hummed in delight before leaning down and kissing you.

You turned and rolled onto your side with your hands covering your face. "You're so naughty and bad."

Levi chuckled. "Isn't that one of the reasons why you love me?"

You nodded shyly and peeked between your fingers at Levi. "Mm. Yes."

He sat on the seat and began playing with your hair. "I love you."

You sat up and gazed at your lover. "I love you so much."

He leaned closer and kissed you. "I love you more." He tapped his forehead against yours. "You're everything to me." He let out a long sigh. "I wish I could make love to you right here and now, but we shouldn't."

You nibbled your lip. "When we get home."

He smiled. "Yes, my sweet bunny."

[atiny-for-life]

Ateez's Full Storyline Explained - Part 26

Masterlist

Golden Hour: Part 1 - Diary Entries:

Z disappeared, leaving the Z World in the hands of the Black Pirates and Thunder who established a new system in which people can choose to free themselves from the emotional control

Some choose freedom, some choose to remain under the chips' control, creating a two faction system - coexistence is possible and rather peaceful

Everyone now knows of Ateez but, instead of staying and letting themselves be celebrated, Ateez choose to leave the Z World in the hands of those who love and care for it, the ones who fought for it

With all the positive feelings still lingering in them, they dream together once again

Hongjoong

Three years pass, they gather their savings, rent an affordable practice room for dancing and singing and accept this world (the A World) in which no one knows them while remembering the world in which they were heroes

However, reality is a bitch and quickly catches up to them

In a capitalistic world, it takes money to make your dreams come true and, quite quickly, that becomes apparent

They barely meet anymore, maybe once or twice a year, and even then only some of them show up (being an adult sucks)

Hongjoong misses them, wants to just spend time with them, but tries to be understanding when they turn him down or fail to come to planned hangouts

While working part time, Hongjoong continues writing in his diary which is how he eventually realizes his memories of the Z-World are fading

To ensure nothing would be lost to time, he creates a blog, documenting their journey and readers begin to pile in, asking for updates and, eventually, a publisher approaches him, offering him a book deal

With a bestseller on the market, Hongjoong gets to hold meet and greets, give lectures, appear on TV, which is how his parents find him and reconnect with him

Ultimately, he now has everything he's been craving and asking for: a family, a career, fame - he should be happy, he has it all

But alone in his room at night, he wonders:

'What is this? This emptiness...' [...] 'Is this what I truly wanted?'

Seonghwa

Hongjoong's book is on Seonghwa's desk, looking at him

A coworker talks about how much his daughter loves it while also insulting it by essentially calling it absurd

Seonghwa can't think of a way to defend it without sounding crazy by revealing his past

Within him, there's still trauma, a world of memories burned into his retina of those poor dead brothers, the Sense Offenders' corpses hung up in the square, all the people who died at the hands of the Android Guardians - he can't forget

He sees them in the streets sometimes, familiar faces, this worlds' versions of the people who died in the Z-World

He still remembers the girl with the 'Be Free' bracelet, the girl who leads Thunder in the Z-World and wonders where she was now in his world and what she would be doing if she were in his position

Figuring she'd tell him to save himself so he could save others, he began focusing on studying, learning about ways to help which helped calm his anxiety, which is how he stumbles upon material regarding an upcoming Candidate Physical Ability Test for the firefighters

He passes, thanks to his regular exercise and dance regiment, knowing it wasn't what he'd dreamed of doing with his life but being able to see and feel he was doing good in the world - the results are tangible

How can he justify giving this up for the vague shared dream of being an idol?

He doesn't receive applause and cheers but he gets the heartfelt gratitude of all the ones he rescues and their families and, thanks to his appearance, he gets selected as the Fire and Disaster Headquarters' yearly calendar model - the photoshoot is nothing but a reminder of the dream he once held onto so tightly

For so long, he had wanted nothing more than to be photographed and seen, but could never make that dream come true... How ironic that he could do so now, but only as a firefighter.

After leaving the set, he returns to his office and picks up Hongjoong's book - it was finally time to read it

Yunho

In Egypt, people gather around a campfire to listen to Yunho's voice and guitar, a song which reminds one of the listeners of a novel they've recently read

While they talk, Yunho wallows in his past

Back in the Z-World, they had a clear enemy, they were united in their goal to defeat him and bring peace, but in A-World, there is no unified villain to strike down

No matter how hard they practiced and busked, he quickly realized regular meetings with all the members wouldn't be achievable for long

This world is colder than Strictland

People want fast intense stimuli, trapped in their short form content feed, no time to watch a full street performance, filming a quick clip they could post to their socials was enough before they moved on

People are apathetic - the laughter and crying comes from their phones but not themselves

Working so hard to put together a song, a choreo, a performance, and never getting spared more than a few seconds of people's time in return was painful, worse than the emotionless faces back in Z-World

Singing and dancing with the members became less and less enjoyable but, whether the others felt the same or not, he doesn't know - they never talked about it

Over time, their meetings become less frequent and his interests change - archaeology is now his prime focus

As Yunho stepped into the ancient pyramid, his thoughts ran wild. Maybe, just maybe, if he could find more otherworldly artifacts, he would be able to travel to another world and go on an adventure with the members once again.

Yeosang

Yeosang built a fortune investing in stock, allowing him to start his own business without being forced to depend on his father

After leaving the Z-World, they all changed, from boys to adults, they had to face a new reality - art, emotions, and dreams are precious but blind belief is dangerous

In this world, art and money go hand-in-hand - while originally created for the rich and noble, new forms of art have also been used by the poor to express emotions, to rebel and protest - the art reflects the power struggle

Right now, money is the biggest obstacle between their group and achieving their dream so Yeosang decided to tackle the problem head on: he reinvented himself, becoming a leader of the investment world - profit in mind but also investing in the arts on the side, even if that meant losing money

One of those investments was Hongjoong's novel.

San

Watching the members go their separate ways one by one was tough - San couldn't stop them but he also couldn't storm out and leave

After a lifetime of constantly moving around, he comes to think drifting may just be written in his life fortune from the start - there was no avoiding it

After another failed practice session, one where half the members hadn't even shown up, he heads out to mope and strikes up a brief conversation with an old man running a snack shop across the street

They talk about dreams, and the old man insists they're less important than sharing love, eating together, and cleaning up their own mess

The words get San thinking

He starts his own food truck and ends up in Jeju where he watches people share food with their loved ones, and gets to sometimes chat with his customers

Through meeting countless people, he quickly learns that most never got to realize their dreams

'So why didn't anyone ever teach us how to live outside of our dreams?' San thought. And he came to an answer of his own. Maybe I need to learn to welcome the reality I've been given, even if it's not the reality I wanted.

Mingi

Despite coming from a broken home, Mingi makes it big, becoming a professional model for a fashion magazine working with high-end designers

When he first started, it was supposed to be a part-time thing, a few bucks on the side, but the magazine blew up and turned him into a high demand model by association

The runway became his stage, his face now plasters street ads and a world famous brand made him their ambassador and calls him their muse

He makes a lot of money, his memories of a childhood in poverty fading, his worries about his grandmother's medical bills a thing of the past

His social media was flooded with adoring comments, his influence far reaching, but when he sees a group of boys busk at the side of the road, he still finds himself hypnotized

At that time, Mingi was overcome with the sense that he had crossed a river he could never cross again. [...] Where Mingi stood now was a place where results and achievements trumped passion and spirit, a place where value could be bought and sold. [...] He couldn't erase that vague feeling of longing.

Opening social media to distract himself, he sees a video of Hongjoong's reunion with his family

Wooyoung

Wooyoung is now a flight attendant (inspired by a drunk hometown friend who told him being on stage wasn't that special - people announcing sales and flight attendants were also giving performances at their jobs)

Looking back, he realizes he wasn't in his right mind when he signed up for flight attendant training, he was just desperate to be on stage somewhere, no matter where and the plane would have to do

After a long time of adrenaline fueled performances in the Z-World amidst that revolution, he now struggles to adjust to being back in the A-World - all the dopamine and adrenaline, the post performance excitement replaced with nothing but dread and anxiety

They couldn't just get back on stage and put on the kind of performances they could in the Z-World - there was no way to build a stage for yourself around here

So yes, deep in his despair, his friend's words offered him an alternative and being a flight attendant sounded like comfort to his growing fear of never being on stage again

While people normally didn't pay attention to the announcement at the start of a flight, Wooyoung's airline was looking to change things by delivering the safety warnings, destination, and flight time as a performance, a song with an accompanying dance number

Eager to volunteer and popular among customers and peers, Wooyoung turned his announcement into a show, grabbing people's attention, earning cheers from everyone

Wooyoung's eyes were drawn to a few people in the crowd who cheered and clapped louder than the rest. It just so happened that Yunho and Mingi were on the exact same plane.

Jongho

Still enraptured by music, Jongho earns his money by recording vocal guides part-time while studying songwriting and musical composition and creating original songs by himself

In the beginning, those songs were meant for his members, giving them something to practice and record together as a group, but being an idol group eventually stopped being feasible so his songs became solos and his career singer-songwriter

He’d already been forced to sacrifice his dream of being a basketball player

He refused to give up on music too

After uploading his songs to MusicCloud for a while, a label approached him, quick to swat his dream of being an idol by asking him to write a song for their upcoming idol group since one of his older songs where he'd sung with his members had grabbed their attention

It was bittersweet but he accepted and, soon, he wasn't just a songwriter but also a vocal coach, a producer - he was okay with staying in the darkness so others could shine on stage

One day, a second year idol group he was working with got into a fight - two members yelling at each other, one wanting to quit and the other shouting about not giving up on your dreams

After several attempts, Jongho finally manages to break up the fight and one of the boys confesses to him he wants to spend more time with his family because they're going through a tough time and being away so much was painful

The conversation reminds Jongho of his fight with Mingi so long ago...

Sitting in the empty recording studio, he played that old group song and raised the volume. The sound of the members' voices pierced through his heart.

[mdhwrites]

Luz makes a lot of mistakes in season 1 but fandom barely talks about it. I hate the mistake she makes in Adventures in the Elements the most. She literally steals Amity's training wand, uses it without permission, ignores Eda's advice and triggers the Slitherbeast. Eda, along with Amity's siblings get captured and almost killed. I remember Luz doesn't even apologize for what she did to any of them. Seeing Amity get mad at her is totally deserved, and she rightfully gets to feel angrier at Luz. It's like a backward in Lost in Language in which Luz apologizes Amity for trespassing her secret hideout and reading her diary.

Adventure in the Elements is one of the most fascinating episodes of TOH for me because you talk about all of her mistakes... And that episode is a culmination of a lot of them. Literally a minimum of three different lessons are retaught in that one but instead of Luz being punished for these things, she's rewarded with a new spell. It is a perfect encapsulation of why TOH sucks ass as a kid's show.

Because let's break down some of this:

"Steals Amity's training wand"

Episode 4, The Intruder, features Luz stealing from Eda to get a leg up in magic to terrifying consequences. One could also argue that Luz was reminded that one should respect other's boundaries and the damage betraying their trust can do in Lost in Language, episode 7, by how it devastates Amity to have Luz have invaded her space and seen her diary.

"Ignores Eda's advice and triggers the Slitherbeast."

In episode 3, Luz is taught to at least try and listen to Eda about magic because Eda, you know, might know what she's talking about. Episode 2 even reinforces the idea that Luz needs to listen to Eda because her mentor will help her grow up. Thrown out here.

"Along with Amity's siblings getting captured and almost killed"

Selfish bravado to impress others leading to people almost being murdered? It's not Luz's lesson, except that one could argue it's a part of Once Upon a Swap where she learns why Eda doesn't show off, but Willow's from Hooty's Moving Hassle where her need to prove she's better than Amity, that she's a strong witch, gets Luz, Willow and Gus captured and almost killed.

And Adventure in the Elements is episode 12. I just listed HALF of the episodes that come before this one. And yet instead of showing us how much Luz has grown midway through the season, she repeats as many of her past mistakes as she possibly can.

HOWEVER

She does apologize... Kind of. She apologizes in the same way she does for a lot of things in S1 by setting it right. She made up for things by trying to fix the damage they did, such as going to Amity after the witch's duel or saving Eda after causing her to transform or going after Amity in the library. It's part of why her deciding not to fix her mistake in S3 is so abhorrent to me because her saving grace was to try and fix things but apparently in the end she can't be bothered when fixing it is too hard.

No, the bigger problem to me than the lack of apology is that most of this stuff goes unaddressed. She fixes that the siblings were killed but the rest? Amity joins the Azura Book Club and she gets a new glyph. In fact, she is put in time out and the only one she admits to having been wrong about is that Eda was right about magic being everywhere because she gets her glyph because of that. The rest though? Just normal children's show protagonist things!

Which would scan a lot better if A: TOH didn't despise being a kid's show and B: if it were a better kid's show. If it were like Amphibia where it teaches constantly new and evolving morals about different parts of life instead of constantly going back against basic behavioral things like whether or not it's okay to lie. Instead, it ignores a lot of that to claim it's more complicated and more mature when in actuality it uses every last excuse of a kid's show when it's convenient for itself, such as people ignoring when the main character does awful things to them.

You can't have it both ways and you certainly can't have a hero who only knows how to make the same mistakes all the time while claiming they're doing nothing wrong. It's a shame the fandom learned to ignore Luz's mistakes because the show has no interest in thinking Luz did anything wrong.

======+++++======

Another problem to all of this btw is just that it's boring. Like S1 has a reputation for being boring because of all of this repetition and it deserves it for that reason.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[viperwhispered]

This isn't really about Jamil so humor me for a second: I am dissapointed with Kalim's progress in the game bcause I feel like he is the boy with the most potential for improvement. Kalim is very much not stupid, we've seen him: he is capable of following instructions and noticing important details.

I would love seeing Kalim addressing his trauma with all the shit he's had to go through and finding other ways to cope than obliviousness. I want to see him expand his social circle and learning to identify who he can trust and who he can't.

Imagine Kalim walking up to the prefect and asking them for help in figuring out chores. Being the nice person they are, the Prefect helps him with basic recipes and household chores so he can look after himself.

Post CH7, Kalim offering to help rehabilitate Malleus by being his first friend outside of the Prefect. Its canon that Malleus can do chores because Lilia taught him but he was never allowed to do anything because "ChOrEs ArE bEnEaTh HiM". He was happy to finally get a chance when he started NRC and was crushed when Sebek insisted on doing things for them.

Imagine Kalim and Malleus forming this adorable friendship where both a trying to improve. Kalim is trying to become independant while Malleus is learning to socialize. The two meeting up twice a week where they try a new recipe or do some cleaning while they talk about everything under the sun. Malleus going to Kalim about how to approach people and Kalim making sure that Malleus is invited to everything. The two confide in each other about their insecurites and their lonliness and just try their best to improve.

Towards the end of the year, Kalim is pretty good in the kitchen and can pull his own weight at the the dorm no problem. He keeps notes on everything he learns and, with Ortho's help, set up a system of alarms on his phone so he can keep track of his schedule without needing Jamil. Most notably he starts keeping an observation diary. As way to ease out of his oblivious habits, Kalim started writing down every little observation he noticed. Not matter how insignifiant, he always wrote it down and kept track of it. Sometimes it came in handy and sometimes it didn't. This caused him to develop a hobby of people watching, where he'll sit someplace crowded and just observe everybody. Sometimes Floyd, Jade, and/or Malleus joins him and they'll make a game out guessing and making up stories about others based on Kalim's observations.

Ignoring the keyblade au I suggested, I'd love for Kalim to do some deep self-reflection and realize that "wow I suck at this dorm leader thing" considering his leadership essentially kicked Scarabia out of the competition with the other dorms. I want him to look at Jamil and feel guilty for stealing a position that is rightfully his. I want him to scheme a situation where he can pass on the title with minimal fuss. Imagine staying awake at night organizing all his evidence and construting an argument should his family intervene. Imagine Jamil discovering his drafts and evidence being shocked that "wow he's actually trying". Or even better nobody figures it out and Jamil is stunned that Kalim was able to manipulate everyone like that.

Imagine Kalim trying his best to learn from Jamil's leadership. Him keeping a separate journal not just for Jamil but all dorm leaders where he keeps track of their leadership tactics and how they approach leading the dorm. Him figuring out ways to adapt these strategies into a style that fits him and how it could be applied to the Asim business in his homeland. Kalim using his notes to scheme how he could approach reforming the traditions of the Scalding Sands.

Vice Kalim trying his best to support the dorm and Jamil in every way he can. He knows he's not very good with paperwork and he loses track of things easily, so he starts organizing things in colorful flashy folders so he can better remember where documents are and which ones Jamil needs. Kalim going out of his way to learn easy snacks and treats to leave at Jamil's desk whenever he starts overworking. Kalim trying to make Jamil's working environment as calm as possible by clearing students from the area and leaving some incense for both relaxation and bug repelling. Kalim carrying a passed out Jamil to bed or covering him with a blanket to keep him comfortable.

Vice Kalim sticking to the strict "one party a week" rule but still trying to make sure everybody can enjoy their meals Scarabia style. Having nice music play in the background and every day there's a different "special dish" (usually dessert) for everyone to enjoy. Vice Kalim learning to effectively organize clean ups and study groups without getting distracted.

Kalim joining the Vice-Warden support group and becoming friends with just about everybody. He meets up with Trey and Ruggie on weekends for cooking/baking dates where they brainstorm ideas for the special dishes for every dinner and how to spice up the weekly parties. Jade and Lilia join him for tea and discuss what to look for in a trustworthy person. Rook and Ortho will join him in his observations and it usually ends with them getting chased by an angry mob and Kalim knowing far too much about his classmates.

Even as a vice-housewarden, Kalim continues to memorize dorm leader schedules so he can track down and remind Malleus to be there on time.

Kalim learning to accept his anger and to set proper boundaries with his fellow students, awknowledging that he has to be strong because being nice won't get you very far at NRC. The rest of vice-housewardens corrupt him by teaching the art of being petty. A nice harmless piece of revenge that results in catharsis for Kalim and frustration for whoever it is pissed him off. Very minor things like moving all their stuff by two centimeters or filling their lockers with balloons or adding too much salt to their portion.

Kalim going home and shocking everybody with how competant he became. He's getting up and making his bed before the servants arrive. He's paying attention and is able to spot assasins on his own. He's making sweet treats to share with his siblings and encouraging them to learn.

Throughought all of this, Jamil is stunned and secretly proud of Kalim's progress and starts being genuinely nicer to him.

But the biggest shocker came during a meet up with RSA: Kalim's first fight. He ended up encountering an absolute ignoramus that made him genuinely angry for the first time in a while. A guy 10 times as oblivious as Kalim used to be and with 10 times the arrogance. He seems nice but he just keeps making the most ignorant insulting comments without even realizing and keeps brushing off Kalim's attempts to explain. Even worse, the guy got attatched to Kalim so the poor man couldn't even just walk away. This is the moment Kalim realizes exactly why his classmates despise RSA.

Then the guy makes a comment on how Jamil should know his place and all hell breaks lose. Kalim doesn't even think, just starts throwing hands until they're both bloody and bruised and the other guy passes out. Cater films the whole thing and it spreads like wildfire.

All of NRC is celebrating! The older students have tears in their eyes as Kalim is "finally becoming a proper NRC student" and "their baby is growing up". The teachers aren't bothering to stop the celebration as Kalim was technically doing it in his friend's defense and it was against RSA. Crowley is shooked and also crying with pride. The entire squad burst into the infirmery asking questions and patting him on the back. Then Jamil shows up and it all gets quiet.

Kalim is nervous and kinda scared as Jamil slowly walks up to him. Kalim is expecting the scolding of a lifetime but Jamil just sighs and asks "Did you win?"

"Pretty sure, the other guy didn't get back up"

"Good. If you ever lose and disgrace our dorm, you're sleeping in the desert. Understood?"

*nods*

"We'll be holding a celebratory dinner tonight and a school wide party tommorrow. Good job."

Cue one of the biggest parties in NRC history.

Also this fanart where Kalim and the other vice dorm leaders + Floyd go fuck shit up.

Nikki bonus: Nikki was one of the first people who started helping Kalim gain his independance. The pair would meet up whenever Jamil was busy and Nikki would show him how to do chores, clean up after himself, and show him simple recipes.

Ironically, this how their romance with Jamil started. Whenever Jamil tried to pull a "you're doing it wrong let me do it", Nikki would physically hold him back while going "no no no he can do it himself he is learning". Cue the pair arguing while Kalim successfully makes his first omelette by himself.

Kalim: *successfully does his own laundry*

Nikki: *sniffling* we raised that boy

Jamil: oh yeah, where's my child support money?

Nikki: i wouldn't know i'm the step-parent

Poor single mom Jamil having to raise Kalim all by himself.

Yeah, Kalim’s not stupid - there’s just a lot of things he’s not had to think about, and things he’s not had to or been allowed to try or do. But like, already in book 5 he did seem pretty emotionally mature / aware, reflecting on what he was feeling, even if iirc he was still doing a bit of the “brush off the problems” which… Yeah, totally a great coping strategy, never gonna bite you in the ass.

Ngl, just that bit about chores kinda has me imagining a whole montage, with Kalim being all “oh this is harder than I thought” and gaining a new appreciation for a lot of things (for Jamil, certainly, but other folks too in his life who’ve been more or less invisibly handling these things).

Aww what a “let’s learn how to be normal people” duo. Kinda love it tho, now that you’ve said it it totally makes sense that their interests would overlap in that area.

Tbf, with Ortho / the Shrouds, I feel like Kalim could easily end up with some sort of a personal AI / software assistant helping him along with some of the practical things. Somehow I have a feeling it’d definitely give Jamil mixed feelings. On one hand, lesser workload (once he gets used to it and accepts it), on one hand he’s kinda being replaced by a machine. Like, yay? (Not that Kalim would stop caring for Jamil and all that, but you know, it’d still be weird having a machine do your job, even if it’s a job you hate.)

Honestly, I’m still not fully decided on how Jamil would feel about the housewarden position. There is a part of him that likes to operate from the shadows, so to speak, even as there’s that other part that yearns for recognition. And to me, it seems like his plan for taking Kalim’s place only happened because it was Kalim, specifically - I’m not sure how compelled Jamil would’ve felt challenging any other dorm leader, or if he would’ve preferred kinda chilling with less responsibilities and just focusing on himself.

Though, tbf, as things canonically stand, Jamil basically is doing a big chunk of the job without the title already, so that already changes things. Though a Kalim making a conscientious effort to do better would certainly change that balance, anyway.

(Also now I really feel like combing through the stories looking for those times where Jamil would’ve taken more of a leadership position, not that I even remember where those bits would’ve been. This post certainly comes to mind about it, though I’d have to do a proper reread to see just how much I agree with these points.)

Tho, it would also be totally in character for Kalim to be like “surprise Jamil you’re dorm leader now” without asking Jamil how he feels about it, so… Oof.

Though I do love Kalim going through learning all these strategies, figuring out how he could keep all the new information and learning in order (when Jamil hasn’t managed to drill such methods into his head so far. Which, probably more to do with Jamil’s lack in pedagogic learning than lack of effort, for sure). I do wonder if NRC has some sort of a student counselor that could help Kalim figure out good studying strategies that then would carry over to his general attempts at learning & improving himself?

It is real sweet thinking of Kalim playing that support role for Jamil, tho, actually becoming more attentive to his needs in turn.

Hasdfs Kalim in his “delinquent” era tho. What a thought. Poor sunshine boy becoming like the rest of them (I mean, one has to adapt, but oh boy). Gotta love him sticking to his guns, tho.

(Also looks like this is the original source for that art. Good old pinterest and its lack of sourcing.)

Hasdfsdf that Nikki bonus tho. You really would need to hold Jamil back, or otherwise make sure he’s well occupied somewhere else. (Kill Jamil's bad old habits with fire is what I say, but easier said than done. Once indispensable always indispensable.)

[slapjacq]

I am ill. Not okay. I’ve cried and thrown a tissue box at the wall. Then proceeded to scream at said wall for twenty minutes. Yes I am melodramatic, no I don’t care. I am still in therapy for a reason. Nevertheless, this episode was bonkers, off the wall batshit insane. Like genuinely so good that it almost adds to the tragedy of it all.

Here are my immediate and unfiltered thoughts from my post episode freak out that I have to put somewhere because if I don’t, I will, in fact, explode.

Warning: spoilers up the wazoo, a lot of profanity

First and foremost: Daniel, old Maniel, I can count on you to always keep it a buck, and for that I thank you.

Armand you piece of fucking shit I swear on everything that is holy, you are no longer babygirl, you bitch ass hoe, go stick that fucking doe eyed face up someone else ass you stupid fucking piece of shit. “i cOULD nOt pReVEnt iT” FUCK YOU MEAN YOU COULDNT PREVENT IT YOURE 500 YEARS OLD, YOU SOLD THEM OUT TO BEGIN WITH. YOU STOP TIME, CAN CONTROL BODIES, PLANT IDEAS INTO PEOPLE HEADS, READ PEOPLES MINDS AND THE BITTY BABY VAMPIRE ARMAND COULDNT DO ANYTHIGN ABOUT IT? SUCK MY DICK AND KISS ME MERRY GO TRH THAG SHIT ELSEWHERE (shout out Assad for really giving his all with the whole puppy dog eyes this entire episode 10/10 would fall for them if not the circumstances). I can’t believe I actually was defending this dude a few episodes ago, I literally can’t defend anything else from here moving forward.

Claudia and Madeline deserve to watch these assholes burn and the fact they died such painful deaths should warrant the gods to set the sky alight with constellations of their love. They were allowed NOTHING but a small taste of happiness before it was shredded away from them. No one is EVER gonna villainize them, not to me, not ever. Roxanne absolutely was incredible, and Delainey, in the coming future, better up there as an A-list actor because she has been that astoundingly good. (That goes for everyone here honestly, but Delainey and Roxanne really deserve their flowers here).

Santiago has a special place in hell. I simply cannot wait to watch him die. Decapitation is too kind for him, put him through pain and fury before sending him to hell. Ben Daniels you son of a bitch you played the villain so well. I damn near jumped through the screen when he began to read Claudia’s diaries with a shitty NOLA accent, I have never been so livid in my life.

The rest of Theatre: “All of you motherfuckers, fuck you, die slow.” -Tupac Shakur

Louis GET UP LEAVE YOUR WIFE DUDE YOU KNOW ITS BULLSHIT and honestly I’m not even going to rag on him this episode because the poor man has gone through too much. Jacob was absolutely brilliant in all of this, and honestly I literally will never stop talking about the performances in this show. Regardless, the upcoming rage is justified and I when get to watch him massacre these assholes, I will cackle with the same glee a schoolboy has after he disintegrates ants with a magnifying glass.

And finally Lestat. He rose on the third day and served cunt and made me ball like the mommy issues toting bitch I am. Sam, my man, you knocked it out of the fucking ballpark. Magnificent. Lestat, fucking bastard. You messy bitch. When you get out of whatever the Theatre is doing to you big man, I better see you read Armand to filth. I better see the same from the other. They both deserve to be dragged to hell and back.

Also Daniel Hart is a genius, just really fills your soul with dread this entire episode, I mean the score was filthy, vivid, and hauntingly gorgeous. The violins at the beginning were nasty work and had me fully hypnotized for the entire 50 minutes.

SFX is killing it, everytime, making it all believable and absolutely the worst someone could imagine it to be. I full body contorted at the sight of the sliced ankles.

Shoutout costume department also did its thing. Santiago’s costume was top tier camp. And Lestat’s suit was absolutely everything. Gender envy 11/10.

I could sit here all day and go on about how all the cast and crew did a fucking fantastic job. Like you can really tell they put their heart and soul into this episode.

I mean dear god I’m going to be in shambles for the next two years this episode was insane.

[mysticstarlightduck]

Incorrect Quote Tag!

I wanted to do this tag again so here we go! Going with some characters from Supernova Initiative and Scrapyard Boys for this one <3

I had a lot of fun with this lol, enjoy! (:

The Generator

SCRAPYARD BOYS

Quince: What do you want for breakfast? Josh: I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN. Quince: (Visible Concern) Erin: (Done with Life) ... Erin: He wants eggs.

Rhys: Quince! Help! I’m bleeding… Quince: Oh god… what’s your blood type?! Rhys: B positive… Quince: (holding back laughter) I’m trying to but you’re bleeding-

Adrien: Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. Max: Eh, we aren't really that close. Adrien: Oh, good then. 'Cause she's a bitch.

Any authority figure: Could you be anymore annoying? Valen: Yes.

*Adrien and Rhys are texting* Adrien: Who are you? I think Gwyn changed the names in my phone. Rhys: What did they change my name to? Adrien: Chosen One. Rhys: Don’t change it back. Adrien: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?! Rhys: I’m the chosen one. Adrien:... YOU SON OF A BITCH! IT WAS YOU?!!! Rhys: Smugly leaves that message On Read

Damon: You’re insane! Josh: I know I am, what’s your point?

Josh: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?Erin: ... Erin: Why are you eating dirt? Josh: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

Kay, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

Gwyn: What’s it like being tall? Rhys: Is it nice? Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Adrien: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Thomas: Damon, I swear I didn’t know Emily was coming over. I always ominously clean my weapons on the coffee table like that. It had nothing to do with that!

Luke: You read my diary? Valen: Look, at first I didn't know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

Josh: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

Gwyn: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gonna unmake it to sleep in it anyways? Adrien: Why should I feed you if your just gonna die anyways? Gwyn: Gwyn: I'll go make my bed-

Valen: My bad, It’s a knee jerk response. Damon, holding Thomas's unconscious body: WHOSE KNEE JERK RESPONSE IS TO START THROWING BRICKS AT SOMEONE???

Max: What state do you live in? Quince: I live in a state of constant anxiety.

SUPERNOVA INITIATIVE

Artemis: Everyone thinks you suck. Deimos: I think you have the wrong number… Artemis: Kye? Deimos: Nope. I'm Deimos Artemis: Well, you probably suck too…

Meridian, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day? Jack: … Jack: What’s in the box? Meridian: What woul- Jack: (sighs) Meridian, what’s in the box? Meridian: I think you know.

Cassie (in Act 1-2): Hey, are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend. Deimos: ...Yeah? Cassie: Bitch. Jack, stuck in the middle of this situation:... I hate my life

Vesper: Murder literally doesn’t hurt anyone! Jack: What are you talking about? Of course— Kye, holding out a hand to shut Jack up: No, no, wait. She has a point—

Noctus: Meridian is late again. Cassie: How did this happen? I called them at 8 o’clock this morning and pretended it was 11. Aleks: I printed up a fake schedule for them saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon. Vesper: I set their clock to say PM when it’s really AM. Jack: Oh boy. We may have overdone it. *Meridianbursts through the door, panicking* Meridian: WHAT TIME IS IT?

Jack: (hesitant) Have I ever told you that you cook well? Cassie: Awww, no, you haven't! Jack: (nearly in exasperated tears) So why do you keep cooking?

*Artemis and Kye are fighting* Gabi, taking aspirin: I have a headache! Can you guys just be cool?! *Artemis and Kye keep fighting, now while wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards*

Elysia: What’s your biggest fear? Jack: I am incredibly arachnophobic. Elysia, under her breath (confused, never heard that word in her life): You don’t want spiders to get married?

Lyorna, singing, unaware there's anyone nearby: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need— Kye: An actual family. Vesper: A better love life. Jack: Mental stability. Meridian: *clueless* Bagels?

Aleks: I may be stupid. The Squad: ... Aleks: Oh, did you think I was going to finish that sentence?

Jack: Why were you up yesterday until 3am? Cassie: How did you know I was up until 3am? Deimos (walking in with an absolutely exhausted face and two cups of coffee): Because we all could hear you clapping to that sitcom intro every 25 minutes.

Vesper: Do you want to be the Sun in my life? Deimos: Yes. Vesper: Good, then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me :)

Aleks: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Noctus? Noctus: No. Aleks: I think I speak for Noctus when I say it sounds really super.

Jack: Yesterday, I overheard Meridian saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Cassie replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Kye: Two truths and a lie, I’ll start! Kye: I’ve killed people, I will kill again, and I hear screams when I'm alone or sleeping. Meridian, visibly nervous: I don’t- I don’t know if I like this game.

Jack: *points at Tarah* A human turtleneck, *points at Kye* a narcissistic monster, *points at Aleks* and literally the dumbest person I’ve ever met. Aleks: And who am I? Describe me now.

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing* Meridian (mortified): Would never stab anyone. Deimos: Would stab someone in retaliation. Cassie: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first. Kye: Would stab without warning. Vesper: Would stab as a warning.

Jack: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Lyorna: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Jack: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to charm me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Lyorna: Is it working?

Kye: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.

Gabi: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Elysia: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to her knees and sob while apologizing profusely* Gabi: That one. I want that one.

Tagging (gently): @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab, @winterandwords, @eccaiia,

@the-letterbox-archives, @illarian-rambling@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart,

@little-peril-stories, @thecomfywriter

@ray-writes-n-shit @writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess,

@forthesanityofstorytellers, @finickyfelix @i-can-even-burn-salad

@cauliflowermaterial @thepeculiarbird,

@clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes,

@starlit-hopes-and-dreams @differentnighttale

@wyked-ao3 and OPEN TAG

[unhappy-sometimes]

other than spy fam what are your favorite animes :) p.s. sorry for causing a monsoon in your notifications, i recently followed and tumblr is putting all your stuff in my feed and for each one i'm like I LIKE YOU HAVE A CUPCAKE

i will not stop tho teehee

never apologize for spamming my notifs

(i like the taste of spam and i have notifs turned off anyway)

okay big list of series and opinions below the cut! as well as a little unso lore! please read it, tumblr crashed the first time i tried to answer and i had to retype EVERYTHING 😭

favorite series of all time: fullmetal alchemist

brotherhood, if we’re talking anime, but the manga is still the superior version no matter what. best art, best story, best characters, best fight scenes, best EVERYTHING: the pinnacle of what shonen should be. fma made me want to pursue visual storytelling and quite honestly changed the course of my life. could talk about it forever. cannot recommend it enough. riza hawkeye best character forever and ever.

second favorite series ever: ouran highschool host club

once again, the anime is decent but the manga is where it’s at. ohshc subverts classic shojo tropes while also playing into them and i love love love it for that. i recently reread it and was delighted to find that it still holds up for the most part. makes me scream with laughter and i cannot choose a favorite character (mouri best host tho). it was also just super ahead of its time. hilarious while also being heartfelt and genuine. greatest love confession scene in the history of the world.

the following series are not in any order, i just like them a lot:

spy x family

you guys already know what’s up

apothecary diaries

maomao MAKES👏THIS👏SERIES, i love her SO MUCH. this series has taken over my life. i watched the anime over and over and when i got tired of that, i read the manga over and over, and when i ran out of that, i began READING THE LIGHT NOVELS which i NEVER DO. i read nearly all of the light novels over the course of a week while i was super sick and coughing my lungs inside out, but it was a good time. i still actively read the english translations of the light novel chapters they come out and it honestly makes me week every time. also gaoshun is my favorite character and i would marry him SO fast.

mob psycho 100

yeah :,))))))

natsume’s book of friends (natsume yuujinchou)

if i had to describe this series in one word, it would be nostalgia. that may be because it was the second series i ever read as a kid, but it also just FEELS like blurry summer days and childhood friends you’ve nearly forgotten about. also manga natsume is way more fine that anime natsume. i can’t believe they changed his hair color >:(

detective conan

…or “case closed” as they call it in the united states. i have a lot of contempt for series that drag on for forever in the sake of making money but lemme tell you, early conan was GOOD. it was gory and dark and sometimes kinda scary but it was also a little goofy and cheesy. throwback to the early volumes when conan rode a large dog to rescue a kidnapped girl and also held the hand of a dying woman covered in blood as he told her his true name. you don’t get stuff like that anymore because the show’s demographic is getting younger. but i miss the days when people were getting decapitated via roller coaster. i stick with it for sentimental reasons because i’ve watched/read it since i was a tween. i also own the first 80 volumes of the english manga and named my cat Osaka aftwd heiji hattori. also kaito kid sucks and i hate him.

and now, rapid fire list of animes i saw and enjoyed

link click, frieren (first ep always makes me cry, manga is meh), buddy daddies, saiki k, vinland saga, demon slayer (the art was good, everything else was fine), inuyasha, a lot more but it’s late and i’m sleepy

ANYWAY, i have a LOT of anime/manga opinions but i don’t feel like getting into them rn. here is but a taste of them.

also, the first series i ever saw was called “hikaru no go” and i just think it’s funny that i’ve never met another soul who has heard of it and yet my childhood library in the middle of nowhere had the entire series. i think i own two of the volumes because i lost them, paid a fine, and then found them again. good time.

[thornpixie]

Emma's TSITP finale thoughts that nobody asked for:

Let me start by saying...

Okay and now that's over, let's begin.

I must admit I felt a little bit of sympathy for Conrad, when I hadn't before this episode. It must be extremely hard to see the girl you love with anyone else, let alone your brother. However, it isn't as cut and dry as 'she is his brothers ex so Jeremiah shouldn't have gone there'. Both guys had close relationships with Belly prior to anything romantic sparking - Jeremiah more so than Conrad, imo, because both he and Belly have described the other as their best friend - and Jeremiah and Belly had a physical relationship before she and Conrad. No, they didn't have sex, but they were still making out, groping, kissing sweetly... there was an intimacy there before she chose to be with Conrad (gentle reminder that Conrad lied about Jeremiah being over her to get what he wanted, because Belly was trying to be respectful and kinda make up for her mistakes a little bit, but I talk about that in another post so I won't go into that again). I even understand his reaction in the car (note I say I understand it, not that I agreed with it) - although it is kind of hypocritical considering how much he tells every other character to grow up. That all is to say that while I understand how painful it must be for Conrad to see, and I think Jeremiah should have spoken to him about his continued feelings for Belly prior to kissing her… it doesn’t make Jeremiah a villain and Conrad a saint. Conrad is selfish when it comes to Belly. Jeremiah can be too. Neither of them is innocent. That being said, two wrongs don’t make a right and Jeremiah should have done better. And he did… just after the fact. He gave into Belly because he loved her and she was offering him everything and Conrad would have done the same if the tables were turned. But after, he spoke to Conrad and was clear on his feelings and yet he gave them the chance to talk knowing what that could potentially mean for him and Belly. His actions do not a villain make.

I really do not care what does or doesn’t happen in the books. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again as many times as it takes to sink in to some people - the books are NOT the show. The books are the inspiration for the show, but the show is an ADAPTION. It is not a carbon copy. Jeremiah could’ve shagged Laurel in the books and I wouldn’t care because they were written over a decade ago and tv is a different medium to books and they are different things. Until it happens on screen, it didn’t happen. Anyone who has read The Vampire Diaries books knows what I mean. Same characters, entirely different story. TSITP show relies heavily on the source material, but we have already seen stark differences between the two. They are separate entities.

Belly pushed and pushed with Jeremiah. He tried hard to resist her, maybe for selfish reasons (he didn’t want to get hurt again, and good on him), but still. He tried. He should’ve opened up to Conrad about his feelings before the kiss, and it sucked that Conrad found out the way that he did, but in Jeremiah’s defence, Conrad has never really given him the chance or taken him seriously. And when he realised how strong Conrad’s feelings still were for Belly, he told him to tell her. He told him that he needed to be straight up with her and that if Conrad was who Belly wanted then he would let her go and not stand in their way because he wanted them both to be happy. He recognised that it was Belly’s choice, and that he couldn’t force her to love him back if she didn’t. That is a good fucking guy right there.

Jeremiah made some mistakes when Belly chose Conrad the first time around, because he was hurt (rightly so) and he was prideful, and he got absolutely slated for it. Conrad did the same and he gets applauded? It’s bullshit. He doesn’t have any more ‘claim’ over Belly because of their history. It’s a tough situation for SURE, but Jeremiah had feelings before Conrad dated her that Belly encouraged. He hasn’t just randomly started dating his brothers ex. It’s a unique situation given how close they all are already. He should have spoken to Conrad, but he isn’t satan for still loving this girl who is his best friend, that he was catching feels for, who led him on to believe that she could feel the same way. These things all developed before Conrad showed even the slightest romantic interest in Belly. And frankly, the way he was in this episode shows how much Jeremiah has grown up. He told both Conrad and Belly that if they wanted to be together he wouldn’t stand in their way and he promised Belly they’d still be good. Jeremiah has grown up and he fucking deserves happiness. And honestly, after their talk by the vending machines, I felt like Conrad realised how much Jeremiah actually did care for Belly. I think it was the first time he’d truly seen it. And he could’ve continued acting like a dick, and I would’ve even understood (still team jelly but I’d have understood he was emotional), but he actually handled it really well. He put his feelings aside and let them be happy, the way Jeremiah had to the previous summer (Conrad stans always refer back to Jere being pissed at thanksgiving but honestly, him not wanting to see Conrad and Belly flaunting it in front of him is a pretty natural reaction. It’ll be interesting to see how Conrad handles the same situation moving forward, and how his fans react to that). The difference is that no one else considered Jeremiah’s feelings last time, but Jeremiah was trying to be sensitive towards Conrad this time, giving him the chance and also making sure Belly had all of the information before she made a choice, AND TOLD HER IT WOULDNT BE LIKE LAST TIME IF SHE CHOSE CONRAD AGAIN. That is the least manipulative thing I’ve ever witnessed on TV so I cannot fathom why Conrad stans insist on calling Jeremiah manipulative.

As for Belly… honestly I’ve not been Belly’s biggest fan, but she really has grown up. It’s not her fault that Conrad misinterpreted her actions. She outright told him she wanted to be his friend. She was being friendly towards him, and he took it the wrong way (with encouragement from Steven, which made things worse. I have several opinions about Steven also. He’s way too controlling of Belly imho). In this episode, I was actually really proud of her. Again, I’ve not read the books, but I’ve read summaries, and it seems like the Belly we saw was super confident in her decision. She did nothing but reassure Jeremiah this episode, both with her words and her actions. She didn’t run after Conrad immediately - she only did it because Jeremiah asked her to. She told Conrad she wanted to be friends. She didn’t give him any indication she wanted to be more. It was very obvious there was a vibe with Jeremiah, but since nobody in Cousins seems to remember Jeremiah exists, nobody else noticed. That’s not her fault. She’s spent the entire season being there for Jeremiah, trying to make it up to him. In the end, she was happy, she was confident. She seemed so full of life in a way we never saw when she was with Conrad. She said in her speech to Jeremiah that she wanted something real. That she knew now that Conrad was only a dream. I’ve seen people interpret that as he was her dream guy but since she can’t have him, she’ll have Jeremiah instead. I didn’t interpret it that way. To me, that was her acknowledging that the person she thought Conrad was was a dream. Because everybody knew she’d had this puppy love infatuation with him for most of her life. And now she knew that’s all it was. That it wasn’t love but a fantasy that she’d built on the back of a person who didn’t really exist outside of her own imagination. Where as Jeremiah was real. He was exactly who he said he was. He wasn’t a fantasy. He’s there, and he isn’t perfect, and that’s fine. And she recognises that she blew it chasing this fantasy. I dunno really how to word what I’m thinking properly but I just didn’t take that in a negative way and I thought it was sweet. Like, haven’t we all watched shows or seen celebs on tv and daydreamed about it? Because you don’t really know them you can invent this perfect picture and it can make you see your own life and relationships in a bad light for a time… until you remember that they aren’t real; the idealised person you’ve created.

Disclaimer on this next part - I’ve not read the books so I might have misinformation. Anyway, from what I’ve heard of the books, Belly seemed still quite torn between the two and only went with Jeremiah after Conrad took it all back and pissed off and left her again. She’d already chosen Jeremiah at that point in the show. She didn’t run after Conrad and leave Jeremiah behind by the car - Jeremiah asked her to. She seemed so exhausted with Conrad this episode and just completely sick of his shit. She was all in with Jeremiah and I loved it. I don’t see a way that she would come back to Conrad now because she seemed so done with him and her and Jeremiah are so sweet. I’m honestly dreading season 3. I don’t want to witness this character assassination in the pursuit of a Bonrad endgame because we all know it’s going to happen, regardless of what is right for the characters.

Anyway, I’m happy with the ending. Belly won back some points with me because she really worked to make Jeremiah feel secure and I loved it. She’s grown. I hope she continues this (but no doubt they’ll ruin it all in season 3). Jeremiah and Conrad also grew in the end. It was good. The show could’ve ended there for me and I’d be happy.

Hope my word vomit made sense hahaha I have a lot of feelings.

[6-hours]

Pretty much a diary entry

I just binged Nagata Kabi's stuff since I found it in the library and it felt like a thing I needed in the moment...

The cycle of feeling bad, then feeling good, then feeling bad, etc etc just reminds me that personal suffering doesn't have a narrative arc. You suffer, you overcome, and honestly the "overcome" part might not even be permanent. In the pit of suffering you can't tell if it'll ever get better and that makes it so much worse... Like what if this time, being sad is permanent.

This isn't the first time I got sad, and if my past experience is anything to judge by, I'll probably get over this sadness too. Then forget about it and go be sad about something or other again!!! It's a cycle!!!! It never stops!!!!

Anhedonia really sucks. But this time, it made me think, "If I'm going to do stuff and not enjoy it, I might as well do something that's good for me even if I don't enjoy doing it." It was that thought that pushed me to drop some covid weight, and do physical activity (which I'd never done purposefully in my entire life until right now!!!). (Like if I'm going to be sad at least I can try to be physically healthy I guess)

And I have a lot of time that I have trouble filling, so I take my time to do stuff that I'd always thought was annoying or a waste of time. Sometimes I walk 20 mins to the grocery store to get a single jug of milk. I take my time to actually clean the bathroom or kitchen. I don't resent maintenance chores as much as I used to. It's something that should be done, and I have time to do it, and the time isn't coming out of something I'd rather be doing. I haven't overcome that hurdle when it comes to cooking though... Thankfully my spouse is happy to handle food.

I'm working on a personal project that's supposed to be "as big as it needs to be, take as long as it will end up taking". I've always had a hard time with something like that because I guess external validation is very tied to my enjoyment of drawing. If I don't get some kind of feedback the enjoyment has to derive purely from my own belief in the project... This is something that basically drove me to utter sadness in thesis year college because I had shut down socially. When I wasn't talking to people, every missed point of contact played out in my head as a scenario where other people directly rejected me. (So and so didn't talk to me when I walked by them in the hall! They must have so little interest in me they don't even want to talk to me! Completely forget the fact that I said absolutely nothing to them!!!)

Anyway! I really took some time to dissect what parts about this project is

Something I wish I could be capable of doing

Something I kept thinking about doing

What are the hard parts about it that I thought I wasn't good enough for

What kind of work I need to put in to make the hard parts possible

I've managed to dismantle some illusions I have about "good artists" and how "good work" actually comes about. I also put aside the thoughts of "this isn't good enough for the kind of scope you want". (The prof in college that said "Do your research! People can tell when you haven't done your research!" really paralyzed me. I had no idea how much research is "enough", especially when it came to something I didn't obsess over, and if it's not "enough" I'll be scrutinized to the ends of the earth. Why put myself through that scrutiny? Why bother doing anything, ever? You can't be criticized for doing something badly if you never do it at all. Take that,!!!!)

The point of doing this project is, I think, to prove to myself that I did it. And at the end of it maybe do another one. Then at the end of all these projects, I can say to myself, look at the body of work you produced! It might not be good, it might not be liked by other people, heck maybe no one else other than you ever saw or knew it existed. But! I put all the thoughts in my head into a physical form. It gets to exist more than it used to.

[tonydaddingham]

I hate to bother with this, but would you mind explaining me what is it with the dates in Aziraphale’s diary? I don’t really understand (perhaps I should watch again) why people assume that Aziraphale thinks of “quite some time” as only a few days.

He starts writing saying “last month” which I thought meant that all the events in Edinburgh had taken place a month before he sat to write about them. And he closes his story saying something along the lines of “and that was the last i was to see of him for quite some time” meaning their next meeting is the where Crowley asks him about the holy water.

What am I missing here?

hi anon!!!✨💕 not a bother at all!!! and i'll do my best to explain!!!

so just to repeat basically what you've put, we have two statements - aziraphale says "last month" when writing in his diary. he writes 10th november 1827, indicating that the events of the resurrectionist minisode was sometime in october 1827. he then also says, implied to close off the entry, that he wouldn't see crowley for "quite some time". the fact that he mentions the next time he's to see crowley, after the resurrectionist minisode events, suggests that he's already seen crowley again by the time he writes the diary entry.

so, for argument's sake, let's say he met crowley in the graveyard on 1st october. crowley gets sucked down into hell, but then crops up again on earth at some point between 1st october, and 31st october, in order for the "last i was to see of [him] for quite some time" to be true from the perspective of the entry being written on 10th november. this is getting into the granular, but essentially what people are saying is that, at most (ie. depends on when the resurrectionists happens, and when aziraphale sees him again... could have only been a week or two! think of it as two variable bookends, that are at most a month apart), aziraphale considers a month to be 'a long time' to go without seeing crowley.

that's what the sentences suggest anyway - but only if we consider both of the statements to be in the resurrectionist minisode narrator voice - the 'quite some time' could have been modern-aziraphale talking (ie. not what he actually writes in his diary), at which point it's likely that - like you said - their next meeting was in fact 1862 re: holy water.

this, imo, seems more reasonable for the line to make sense, and possibly a little more in character? but again, it depends on how you read the second statement in the context of the narration. hope that makes sense?!✨💕

[theluxuriansecret]

Diary Entry 04012024

Dear Diary,

I'm starting to feel like I'm abandoning myself, but I promise that is going to change. I think I said in my last post that I would write once a week because clearly writing once a day is genuinely too much of an obligation, but I still want to find a way to express my feelings. SO here I go:

To begin, I have completed my first week of work at my first big girl, corporate job. It is starting to pick up and I am really excited about it. Honestly, it sucks that there are a lot of exterior things to my work that are kind of numbing or getting in the way of my excitement, but I can acknowledge the positive feeling nonetheless. I only commute three days a week, and it going to take some time to get used to. It's exhausting as of right now, but am proud of myself for making the effort, getting up everyday, figuring my route out and getting on with it and I'm excited to see what this week will challenge me with. (Which I feel like one will be the weather because it's supposed to rain all three of my commute days RIP)

I have been having some incredibly tough to face feelings about the people around me, my family, my friends, my relationship. It honestly has felt very isolating, but it is something I will start trying to work through this week but I want to dive into some of those things.

The first, my friend. To be honest, I feel like distancing myself from her. I do not like how she speaks to me, and sometimes I feel like I try to ignore my feelings for the sake of keeping the peace, but what happens when I know longer feel the peace I keep trying to uphold? I feel like, our friendship truly only continues to perceiver is because I am the friend that wants to do the things she wants to do, but I truly do not think I am the one she really wants there. Could I be reaching? Maybe? Is it a possibility? I still think so. I have had these feelings harboring inside me for quite sometime, and I feel the need to really make sure my feelings are what they are before I try to talk to her about.

Next up we have my family. Fuck. I once said something about like "why is family so complicated?" and now I almost understand. I have a small family, and I have been around people who have these huge families, and stay connected with them. And then I think about my family dynamic. It's just my mom + dad, brother + grandma and I. And it's really hard to fucking deal with? Because on one end, I feel like they are all difficult to deal with in their own way. But then I just figured out they're all i fucking have. They are all I have. And I need to give my relationships with them a real try. [TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT] I don't know if I ever journaled about one of my family members m*lesting me and my parents basically blaming me for it. I don't know if I ever truly forgave them or if I just let it go because I live under their roof. I don't know what that kind of forgiveness looks like, and I don't even know where it begins. [Triggering Content Ends] Which also brings up my weird feelings for my dad. I feel like ever since I've joined the "real world" he sees me. He wants to talk to me more, he is more invested in "what I am up to" its weird. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Did you not see me before? Did anything I did prior to having a job matter? Is me having a job the only way you feel like you can relate to me? I have questions, many, but I don't know if I can really stomach the answers. And my mother, I feel myself losing respect for her everyday, which is so weird because I have worked so hard to be able to call her my best friend and bestow that title onto her. But.. he continuing her affair even though my father is aware of it makes me sick. It makes me wonder how he feels, but who am I to go up to my dad and say "How does mom's affair make you feel?" I think ultimately it's none of my business, but also she involves me and I know way more than I should so...

Lastly, my relationship. *sigh* I do not know where to begin. I have also been harboring emotions about this too, which sucks because on paper its going really well. To begin, we hit the two month mark tomorrow, which he has acknowledged. But also, I think he has too much on his plate, and I'm really the last thing that should be on it. Maybe that sound crazy, but also.. I think he jumped into things with me too quickly. He got out of his last relationship in July and we made things official in February, I don't know how much growth a person needs outside of a relationship to really start working on themselves, but I do know that I feel neglected in our relationship. One of the things we used to talk about as friends was healing and growing closer to ourselves, which I truly spent all of last year doing. Did I mess with a boy here and there, yes, but I also didn't let it completely consumer me (well...) and I knew that I was ready to be un anything serious. Now almost two years of being single, I told myself I would not deny myself the opportunity to be truly and genuinely loved. I wanted to be heard, I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be respected, and he does all of those things. BUT, I feel as though I have truly been put on the back burner. I think that I definitely was someone he wanted to build with and grow with, but I think he got to me so that no one else got to me. And now that he has me, he is doing everything he can do now NOW to better himself, and I hate that for me. I try to be patient and understand. I try to be helpful and compassionate, but I have needs too and they're not being met. I want to spend physical time with my person, but all my person keeps thinking about is getting money (typical Capricorn). I want to find a good way to bring this up without attacking him, because he is already going through so much emotionally already. But I want a relationship, a partner, I do not want a pen pal. I did not sign up for that.

So we will see where we go from there. I think this week is going to be really emotional. Mercury in retrograde, we're in Aries which is the astrological new beginning. A lot of things are shifting all at one and everyone is really feeling it. I am deeply feeling it, and my period is coming. So.. good luck to me this mercury retrograde and eclipse season. It's about to get real intense.

No SOTD, sorry :(

[anonymousfoz]

Heathers Rant

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Suicide and murder, also mental health talk.

(It's heathers, you knew what you were getting yourself into)

Quick note: I haven't seen 1988 heathers or the musical in a few years but I binge the musical whenever I write or do anything. So a lot of this comes from the Broadway songs only. I am sorry if this upsets anyone, I just can't sit down and watch something long anymore. My attention span sucks. Also it is color coded because why not, but I may not have colors for every character. Also this was written at 3 am, when I think the most.

I heard a lot about the songs, but has anyone thought to find the message in heathers? I mean there are a lot of messages, but I think the one with mental health are very interesting because it is grabs my eye the most.

When I think about the musical from an analytical sense, which I often do with friends who know nothing about heathers, I always find myself bringing up the mental health. It seems to be a very ignored topic in Sherwood, Ohio. Which why does heathers take place in Ohio? Out of all states, Ohio? But besides that, mental health seems to be an ignored topic which considering it most likely takes place in the 80s, makes sense. It only becomes a topic that needs to be addressed after Chandler's death, which Veronica and JD (I don't have a color for JD) frame as a suicide. Bothers me that the police didn't look into it further but it's whatever. It is clear that the students suffer from mental health. JD, Mcnamara, and Martha suffer mental health issues which is clear in their songs. Once it is addressed, Duke believes that Martha's suicide attempt was an attempt to fit in with the popular kids who have died.

Why does this matter? Everyone brings this up. But I not seen a single soul bring up the adults. They are clearly clueless to the issues the teens deal with. In Yo Girl, this is clear with Veronica's parents pleading to understand and help her with these issues only for Veronica to claim they don't understand what she is going through. Which Veronica is correct.

But has anyone thought to think, this is shown through the songs? This might be stretching, and me overthinking this, but I don't care.

So in the opener Beautiful, Veronica stops to make comments about each of the students to the audience, an early fourth wall break which is portrayed s her writing in her diary. It appears to be an aside, which is a remark or passage in a play that is intended to be heard by the audience but unheard by the other characters in the play. However, this is not an aside in the case with Ram who butts into his introduction, it could be Veronica saying her thoughts aloud, which I doubt but I have people tell me that. The point is, he can interrupt the aside. Again in Our Love Is God a character interrupts the song. It isn't an aside but it is another time this happens, Kurt interrupts JD while he sings and before he is shot. It could be taken that Kurt doesn't understand why Ram got shot, and again I may be overthinking it. However I am ranting so I don't care. The point is these two interrupted the songs. Going to the show stopper, Meant to Be Yours, JD is being loud banging on objects and screaming, in a narrative sense. We all joke about Veronica's parents not hearing it, but why? I think it can be taken as a metaphor as JD being the mental health issue and the parent's being clueless to it's presence.

Speaking of JD, he clearly suffers from mental health, maybe as a result of losing his mother so long and his father not being there for him. Also moving 10 times? Could never be me, but that could affect his health. His mental health issues led to him harming others.

If the adults are unaware, the issue got worse until someone got hurt. Which happened to be the Queen Bitch, Chandler.

I have no idea to end this, since I stated what I thought, But let me know what you think. This was really fun and a good way to spend time that I should be using for sleeping.

Post 3 am time: I never really been heavily into the community until I got tumblr, but it's just been so amazing and I wasn't aware there were a lot of ships. But to be fair, I am pretty sure all of them could had happened and am not supportive of just one ship. Besides the point, I am happy to be with other people or on a platform where I can express my love for this musical which hits more so now as a 17 year old who is about be in senior in high school and is turning 18 in less than 100 days. It just brings me a joy I can't describe in words. I love you guys. Your posts make my day and get me thinking ideas like these.