#i know this is probably a vent post but like vent post for what?

[tinyfantasminha]

I don't want to keep clogging my blog with vent posts but uh... I guess this is a more general concern/observation

But it's getting real hard to stay motivated in fandom spaces when there's little compensation, and annoying occurrences are more frequent than good ones.

Mainly there's been less engagement/people showing interest in creators and their art (such as sending asks, making comments and reblogging with tags) and MORE parasocial interactions. This goes for both artists and writers.

Over this year I've noticed a vast disinterest within my public in general. Asks about ocs, my art, or just nice simple comments of ''I love your art'' has been getting more and more scarce. My follower number is bigger than 2-3 years ago sure and I get more likes on my posts but they are feeling more like just numbers and statistics than actual people who supposedly like my stuff.

And while people being parasocial with creators has always been a thing, I feel like it's gotten way worse... in general? People sending personal pictures out of the blue in hopes of being validated, unwanted psychological advice or assumptions about the creator without any established connection first ( <- these happened to me in the same week.) ventdump, just insensitive/lacking of common sense comments in general, unreasonable demands (mostly with writers)... I wondered at first if it was just me, but a handful of mutuals/acquaintances who are artists and writers seems to be going through it as well.

It's annoying. It's tough. It's getting exhausting. Creators pour so much of themselves into their work—countless hours, effort, and passion, all to share something meaningful or entertaining with others (and for FREE) The LEAST anyone can do is show respect, even if opinions differ. When a writer posts a fanfic, don't just say ''omg post next chapter!'', when an artist posts a drawing of their favorite character, don't just say ''omg draw (character) next!'' as if they're faceless content machines that are expected to churn out more '''content''' for you without acknowledgment, encouragement, or appreciation.

''I want to support creators but I don't know what to say and I feel intimidated by their talent so I just lurk silently :((('' I swear to you, no creator (at least not the majority) is making up an intimidating persona to discourage you from interacting with them. They WANT your comments. A single ''I love your art/writing/videos'' or even something as silly as ''I want to eat your art'' is enough to keep a creator sighing dreamily for WEEKS. It doesn't have to be deep! It's heartfelt and that's what it matters!! (Just remember to keep it relevant and thoughtful... It takes just a bit of common sense NOT to comment things like ''this looks like (another character)'' or ''this but with (another unrelated ship/character/show)''. No one wants to hear comparisons or unrelated ideas when they’ve poured their soul into something.)

In fact, the ''I like your art but I think you're intimidating'' feels more hurtful than flattering. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, acting wrong. 💀

If you love that fanfic that changed your brain psyche forever and want to gush about it, go tell the writer. If you loved so much a piece of art that you saved it a million times in your phone and can't stop thinking about it, go tell the artist. Push away the ''they probably won't care about my comment/it won't make a difference'' thoughts. DO IT NOW. You won't know when they might go inactive forever or deactivate. You can't know if that is the last piece they will ever post. Make sure you show appreciation to creators NOW, while they are still here. While they're still not being replaced by AI.

[olderthannetfic]

Sorry in advance if my vent/rambling doesn't make much sense, it's 4am in here and my mind just exploded after seeing the recent asks.

The resuscitated "content" wank reminded me my days where I posted in a contained archive for a pretty rare ship. I never expected people to actually read it, much less comment on the fics, but they did. It was awesome, to have people to talk to in comments --they commented on the fics because they liked it, wanted to support me and keep me going on writing; and I responded to all of them because I was so, so glad people were motivating me.

With this I want to say that I'm sad because this type of fan exchange appears to be so... transactional nowadays. Conditional. I know a lot of readers don't comment because they're shy/don't know what to say, this is not meant at them. I also know that the next subtype of readers are rare, but I've encountered so much of them in a row and I wanted to vent. I've seen readers say that they don't comment *unless* the author responds and that, to me, it's... odd. It doesn't feel... right. Is like the fic doesn't matter, it doesn't matter that you already gave something to your fandom, it only matters if you can give something to *them* specifically.

The people who commented on my fics on that different archive, and I who commented a lot too in others' fics, didn't have in mind the fact of the author responding or not, they had in mind the fic that was already out there and the fics that, giving incentive to the author, could be written afterwards (and the possibility of no more fic for an specific author was fine, since the first one was there).

But that's apparently not enough anymore (for some people)? You not only have to write a fic, but also own the readers a special only-for-them response if they comment, and if you don't respond (never or in a limited timelapse) then you're not *worth* of more comments. And I don't like this kind of framework --of being "worth" or not of something. The thing with commenting is not because the author is "worth" of your comment, is because you liked the work they already did and put out there for the whole fandom to see and you thought "yeah this is good!" and you *want* to thank the author for it, with the possible future in mind of them writing more fics that you'll probably like too.

--

[junovae]

hi i know you got an ask really recently but can you maybe do the silly sashimi (seb) x a suicidal reader??? but also reader is really silly and the first thing reader says is “hear me out…” or something??? i love your writing :3

thank you so much reader, i greatly appreciate it (っᵔ◡ᵔ)っ(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶). and don't worry, i got you.

expendable

sebastian solace x reader ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ sfw

artwork: artwork is NOT mine. art is by @miittchan on tumblr, youtube, and twitter. go check out their work and socials, promise it's worth your time.

PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT IF THIS TOPIC IS HEAVY FOR YOU. MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF ALWAYS ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

summary: escaping the ghastly prison that was the hadal blacksite was probably the best thing to ever happen to you. so why, if that was the case, did you want to go back?

cw: sebastian x su!cidal!fem!reader, takes place after finishing the game, still in the pressure universe, same timeline as this, mentions of trauma and slight suicidal thoughts, reader is coping, angst and comfort too of course, reader wants to...go back to the hadal blacksite?, reader just misses a certain someone too much, trying to find peace amidst the chaos, no spicy scene for this one

wc: 1.4k

a.n: i think i would want to go back too ngl. also this was just my take on the prompt. BUT, if you were looking for something more like sad reader and sebastian comforting them, i got you too with that headcanon. just lmk!! :)

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

"and last but definitely not least. hear me out..."

you place a picture of him, post transformation and all, onto the cake.

"who's this? he kind of looks like the guy who uhm, you know," your friend stared at you intently, hoping you would get the gist. when you didn't answer, they continued. "back in 2013, remember? with the nine peo-"

"no, no, it's just someone i met at the blacksite," you quickly interjected, forgetting that urbanshade had unjustly faked his death and hid the true story of sebastian solace from the world. "and no, that guy didn't murder them. he was wrongly convicted. just like i was," whispering the last part, you grab forks from the kitchen drawer set the cake onto the dining table.

"right, i'm sorry," they whispered softly, guilt creeping into their voice. hoping to lighten the mood, your friend added, "but no, i’m actually hearing you out on this one. did you know this fish creature personally?"

the two of you take a seat and start munching on the delicious red velvet 'hear-me-out' cake presented in front of you. "you could say that," you smiled cheekily, causing the both of you to burst out into a fit of giggles.

just then, a sharp pain similar to tiny needle stabbings pulse through your upper abdomen and into your chest. a series of flashbacks creep their way into your mind.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

you’re escorted down the submarine ramp and shoved onto a platform. “just keep walking. if you hear anything strange, hide.”

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

an ear-piercing screech echoes in the distance. you rush to the nearest locker, slamming the door shut just as a pink aura sweeps past.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

you crawl through a vent and find a small storage room at the end. turning right, you stumble upon a strange fish creature, causing you to jump back. "ah, another expendable," he yawns, unamused. "come in, fishbait. welcome to the shop."

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

volus lunara's searchlights close in. nervous and trembling, you fail the skill-check, getting shocked by the generator. stunned, you lie there as the beam focuses on you. your eyes widen in horror as the monster's grapples pierce your body. this wouldn't be the first time you've experienced this. you'd die a hundred more deaths.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

hurt and wounded, you collapse in a corner. your head spins as the distinct sound of chains dragging on the ground fills the air. resigned to your fate, you limp toward a corner, exhausted. suddenly, someone grabs you and carries you to a seemingly safe room. “what are you doing, fishbait?” a voice hisses. only one person ever called you that. “why didn’t you move? you could’ve died,” sebastian snaps, his voice tinged with anger, but there's a hint of worry beneath it.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

you and sebastian are lying together in the room behind his shop, an unexpected moment of vulnerability. the two of you open up about your pasts. he shares the details of his tragic demise, a painful history that he’s never spoken of before. in the quiet of the room, no longer caring about the consequences, you lean forward and plant a kiss on his cheek. sebastian tilts his head, confusion crossing his face, but there's something else there too—something unreadable.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

a document? "the saboteur," it reads at the top. as you continue reading, the details unfold—now you understand why he’s been given that name.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

after days of giving him the silent treatment, sebastian solace finally breaks. finding out that he was the cause of your repeated deaths weighs heavily on you. desperate to fix things, he starts a pillow fight, and through laughter, the tension melts away. eventually, the two of you make up, finding comfort in the shared moment of forgiveness.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

you try again and again, until one fateful day, you finally make it to the end. as you dry off from your underwater escapade and step into the submarine, a realization hits you. you’ve reached your freedom, but what about sebastian?

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

as you turn from the submarine to search for him, sebastian suddenly appears right behind you. confused, you stare at him. "sebastian, come with me. we can have our freedom and get revenge on urbanshade." he looks at you, his expression sad and melancholy. "i can't go, fishbait."

"yes, you can. come with me, please," you insist.

"look at me. what do i look like to you?" he asks, and you don't see anything wrong with him.

he explains that he has bigger plans, ones that will lead to him meeting you again someday—in human form. you refuse to leave, even as the submarine's hatch starts to close. but in the last moment, he pushes you in. the hatch slams shut, and you’re engulfed in complete darkness.

𓂃 𓈒𓏸

your pulse rushes and eyesight narrows. the room is spinning and the fork in your hands falls onto the table, alarming your friend. your head drops into your hands and you start panting.

"hey, you okay?" they drop the piece of cake with jake sully's avatar on it that they're eating and rush towards you.

"i need space," you shoot at them, feeling their hands on your shoulder. yes, you do feel bad for pushing a friend away but the feeling was too overwhelming. "please, i need space," you repeated again, softly this time.

"yes, i understand." filled with worry, they pat your back one last time before taking one last bite of the cake and grabbing their jacket from the couch. "i'll be back tomorrow, okay? we can finish eating the cake then. just text me when you're feeling better. and please take care of yourself."

nodding your head in acknowledgement, the front door finally closes. you get up, massaging your temples, to lock the front door. your heart is still pounding and face is flushing. you rush to your room and close the door behind you before jumping on your bed. the white sheets engulf your frame as you finally allowed yourself to release the tension you've been feeling all this time.

you desperately scream into your pillow. "this isn't fair at all." you continue to cry, the sound of your soft sobs being the only thing filling the pitch-black room.

months of being trapped in the never-ending death loop in the limbo of the hadal blacksite changed you. now that you were free, nobody believed your testimony against urbanshade. after all, it was one escapee prisoner versus a well-known corporate company. sure, you had your freedom, but the guilt of knowing the company's darkest secrets—the horrid, inhumane experiments they conducted on their captives, the trauma of each death and reset—was consuming you. you had no one to confide in. the only person who truly understood you was still trapped in that very place you purely and vehemently loathed.

expendable. that's what you were. that's what urbanshade had labeled you.

dispensable, nonessential, and powerless.

"i don't want to do this anymore," you softly whisper into the void of darkness consuming you.

...

...

...

...

...

what the hell are you talking about?

you shot up. what the fuck. was that-

please tell me you're not giving up that easily, fishbait.

yeah, no, this was definitely your long-awaited delirium. you were going crazy. the physical and mental stress was driving you insane. but even so... even if it was you finally reaching your limit or even a suppressed memory of him, sebastian solace had promised you that he would see you again one day.

you took a deep breath, steadying yourself in the crushing darkness. maybe you were losing it, maybe that voice was just your fractured mind. but if there was even a sliver of truth, you couldn’t give up. not now. not ever.

"fine, sebastian," you whispered, standing to your feet and wiping your tears. "if you’re still out there, i'll find you. and if this is just my own madness, then i’ll survive long enough to make it back to you—human form or not."

giving up was a harsh reality. but so was fighting back. either way, you knew you couldn't stop. you wouldn’t stop. not until freedom was real for both of you.

you made up your mind. you were going back to the one place in the world you dreaded the most — urbanshade's hadal blacksite.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

[cloudyicarus-blog]

I wanted to add to my last post about Anya and her lack of understanding as a character (since the point is that neither Curly or Jimmy see her as a person, thus, she is never known as who she is. We don't know how Anya is because they don't care about her.) But I forgot to mention how Curly romantizes Anya (not in a possible romantic interest), again, as this helpless thing that made the impulsive decision of taking a gun. Like a child who yells at an injustice that's not that deep or is being reprimanded justly.

And Jimmy objectifies her. And one could argue that it's the same thing, that both don't see her truly as a person, rather as a reflection of their own ideals and state of mind, she is the road that they use to guide their own view of the world, and women, but the difference is that, not only Jimmy has no guilt for what he's done to her, rather, he feels entitled to do what he wants with her. And maybe this is waaaay too obvious for a lot of people, but still it has been in my mind for a day, that the way he objectifies her is through envy and disgust. Jimmy doesn't like Anya, since he antagonizes her and doesn't take seriously her job as a nurse, she is this ugly thing that he can use and abuse. Since she is not a person, it doesn't matter what he does, right? Since she is just a faceless woman, among the hundreds of other women that are in the world, why should anyone care about her specifically? He is, probably unconsciously, aware of the fact that in the corporate structure that is Pony Express, they don't matter at all. They wake up, oil the machine and hope to get a smidge of money that's not going to last. So, if he doesn't matter, she doesn't matter as well.

I guess it also has to correlate with his envy towards Curly and his reluctant ascension, because Curly doesn't want to be where he is, but Jimmy does due to the empty promises that capitalism gives us as a whole. Steady job, good money, and all that. But again, he is aware that he's just the co pilot, and he's there because of Curly, not because they chose him. Rather, Curly is not totally faceless. But Anya is, and if he doesn't matter, nobody else does. Not Daisuke, not Swansea, not Anya. In the game it is stated (through Jimmy's actions) that he doesn't listen to anyone on the fucking ship. He ignores Swansea's warnings about the vent, Anya's concern about the sugar in the mouthwash that's basically useless, and Daisuke's personality overall.

They are all meaningless and stupid, and they are all in the middle of space. What's one nurse when there are thousands more? What's one little abuse of power when she is just another name in the system, because there's a lot of other Anyas. Meaning that she doesn't need any respect or any space in his head. Truly reflecting how capitalism marginalizes and encourages rape culture as well as turning a blind eye towards abuse of power. If the cargo shipment arrives, which is something so fucking ridiculous as is mouthwash, then what does it matter if somebody used a gun, or if someone was hurt? It doesn't matter. They don't matter. Nobody will look for them if no one asks. Abandoned in space, lost names and faceless beings. Their names bellow somebody else's. What's one more fired employee? Just another little cog to replace, there are thousands of people pushing each other off the ladder. So why would anyone mourn a Daisuke? Or an Anya? or a Swansea?

Anyways yeah, I just wanted to add more about Anya, because I truly do love her. She is unknown, since nobody even spared a thought for her. Her only conscious decision was to end her life, because she herself knew that in the end, nobody would care. Nobody cared in the first place, why would they do it now? What would they do? She knew that Jimmy would kill her or threaten her given that she was pregnant and that Curly would placate her, promising things that he won't do, while covering it up. She was right, always right. But she doesn't matter in the big picture. As long as she doesn't ruin it with her dullness, why would anybody listen to her?

And if they could see the dead pixel among the grainy moonlight, they would just try to erase it or lighten it up, forcing it to be a part of the bigger picture. Because your individuality doesn't matter, when you are just another one of the others that come before you and after you, who won't hesitate to take your place. It doesn't matter who you are, because everyone knows that once you enter the mouth of the beast, you are just another piece of flesh. Nobody cares about the animal that's killed, they just care about the meat they're going to put in their mouths. You don't matter when you are an amalgamation of other fish. Because there is a last day. And then another, and another, until you drop dead.

[fictional-reylin]

This is a headcanon for various bnha characters in regard to crushes, attraction, dating, etc… I still want to add three characters to this part. Also, this is not an x reader, that's why I didn't tag it as one, it's basically a post saying "here is the reason I write the character or the reader a certain way" in my previous or future fics.

Please note that these are my headcanons, so obviously it’s not the same as yours. And I will make headcanons for characters that I care about.

Also, one of them is purely me projecting my preferences onto the character💀, I dare you to guess which one.

You are welcome to send requests/asks. Just make sure to read my rules.

Midoriya Izuku

He probably had a decent amount of crushes, maybe like five or so from childhood to adolescence.

I think he's the type to be more attracted to personality than physique, so his crushes looked nothing alike, but their personalities were the same.

Speaking of personalities: bubbly, free spirited, maybe a little bratty and definitely the optimist type or maybe realist.

His idea of a nice date would be going to the arcade or on a picnic. If dating long enough then dates at home are added to the mix.

At the start of dating since Izuku is the polite type I think he wouldn't drop the formalities immediately and still call his partner by last name.

When dating I think Izuku is a real gentleman, opening the door, buying flowers/gifts regardless of the occasion, very wary of boundaries.

If I had to think of a negative when dating him is probably that he will try to fix the problem that his partner has instead of just listening. But if called out on it he is going to ask beforehand what he needs to do or not do when his partner vents.

Bakugō Katsuki

I'm sorry but this guy cannot possibly develop a crush, I don't see him that way. He probably can tell if someone is pretty, but developing romantic feelings is not on the table.

But, in the case he does develop a crush, he will ignore it. He will avoid the person at all costs to the point that he forgets about it and moves on with his life.

But to what kind of person, he will be attracted ? 100% the quiet type, the introvert. Not shy, but introvert. Sarcastic, confident, a realist type. In short, him but way less aggressive.

Dates ? Being with his partner is a date. But if you ask him about it, he will say going to the gym. Purely because he wants to annoy his partner.

He already is rude so he will not bother being polite to his partner. Anything that they don't voice out as a no is a yes to him, because he knows that they would have said something if they're uncomfortable.

His love language is definitely physical contact. So, a lot of hand holding, hugging, and just in general a lot of physical contact.

Negative trait. Well, he treats his partner like his friend. The only reason everyone knows they're a couple is because they had told them and even then people are convinced they’re not.

Kirishima Eijirō

I think he does develop crushes but doesn't really pay attention to it. Like he will develop a crush and then just act the same with them as everyone else, maybe a tiny bit more friendly.

But if it's more serious than a crush he will confess his feelings and try to get closer to the person.

He's the opposite of Izuku when it comes to attraction. All of his crushes look alike or at least have some key features in common. So, for him as long as the personality is okay, and the looks align with his preferences.

Speaking of preferences. Definitely someone who is muscular. Like very muscular. I know in bnha everyone has non-natural coloured hair, but I feel like in the real world he would be attracted to non-natural hair (blue, pink, red, etc...). Someone tall, maybe even taller than him.

He isn't picky with dates. Anything that his partner wants to do he'll do it, he's very flexible in that area. So he went from dates like the typical movies to extreme sports.

He is a gentleman. Carrying his partner's bag, complimenting them, being really into his partner's hobby.

Negative trait ? I think it depends on the partner that he has.

Kaminari Denki

Tons of crushes. Each time (if) he gets rejected he waits like three months to get another one.

When he develops a crush, he is not the type to be shy about it, immediately makes it clear that he is interested because he doesn't have anything to lose anyway.

When it comes to appearance and personality, I think it is 50/50 for him. And he doesn’t really have a type, so his crushes can vary in appearance and/or personality.

And I think when it comes to his preference in personality, it’s two completely opposites. Let’s say quiet, keeps to themselves, or complete burst of energy. Nothing in the middle.

I’d say when it comes to dates he likes something active, that will give him adrenaline. So skateboarding, arcade, escape game, etc…

I would guess he’s very clingy. Holding his partner’s hand is not enough, he needs to cuddle them 24/7, be near them every time. He will complain if they go to the bathroom.

Negative trait: He’s kind of childish. Doesn’t really know how to dissolve conflict because he doesn’t really know how to ? But he tries obviously.

Todoroki Shōto

For obvious reasons, he didn't really get the chance to have crushes, but as he starts to open up and be more social, I think he will have that love at first sight kind of thing. Idk I think it's of fitting.

That first and only love when he knows he wants to marry that person the moment he lays eyes on them, even if he doesn't really know how to express it.

He's more the type to prioritize personality over looks, but not because he doesn't care about them, but because he finds everyone pretty in their own way.

His partner will definitely be someone shy, but really extroverted and friendly. Who's always polite and just a people person in general.

At first, he would probably let his partner pick their dates, since he doesn't really know what would be appropriate in terms of it. But as he gets more comfortable in this area, he will start to voice out his opinions more.

His love language is probably telling his partner how much he loves them and cherishes them. Always being vocal about how much they mean to him and that his life wouldn't be complete without them.

As for a negative trait, he's passive. He doesn't want to make his partner feel like they don't have a choice in the matter so it's always "What do you want ?" "What do you prefer ?" "I don't really have a preference"

Īda Ten'ya

He’s the type to kind of ignore his crushes but not act on them because he’s treating it like a rational thing: he’s too young for that, it will be uncomfortable if the other person doesn’t reciprocate.

But once he's out of UA and finally an adult, he would be up to dating because he's more relaxed as a person and because "both parties aren't influenced by teenage hormones" (you can fight me on this but I'm 100% that sentence would have left his mouth)

He cares about personality more than looks, but he's also not too picky, I guess. As long as the person is on the more serious side of things.

While dating it's he definitely is the romantic type, so dates in the cinema, picnics, high class restaurants, etc... If his partner is uncomfortable with that, he'll try to still be his romantic self but accommodating his partner's boundaries.

His love language is acts of service so every time his partner wants something or wants to do something, that's his top priority and nothing gets in the way, even his hero work.

He probably gets into a relationship only if he sees a future with that person, so the second he knows their taste in jewellery he gets the ring. Though he probably won't propose until he's sure it's the right time.

Negative trait. I feel like he sees the world in black and white so that would definitely take a toll on his partner because obviously things aren't like that.

Thank you so much for reading ! If you want to join in my daydream, consider checking out my navigation.

[bataddictedloony]

Okay, i’m sorry, i know this is an ode to the specific fanfic experience of seeing the story develop with the author, and that’s awesome and beautiful. But it’s also super fucking condescending. “If you want a finished story, go to a bookstore” are you 5? I don’t read unfinished fanfics for a reason. Some of us have a schedule with no room for just 1 chapter per week. Some of us son’t have the time or energy or mindset to wait to know the end. Some of us just don’t want to. Most of us have memory issues. And you or anyone else has no right to say whether that’s a less valid way of experiencing fanfics or not. The author notes don’t become less interesting as time passes. Nuanced readers can and will feel shifts in the story and go “oh the writer is thinking smthn different here, oh let’s gooooo”. We leave comments every chapter too. We’re not doing anything that’s hurting anyone.

Is it true that authors feel more enthusiasm for writing when there’s readers from the beginning? Absolutely.

Is binge culture harmful for the streaming industry? Yes.

Am I gonna make myself hate fanfics because some asshole on tumblr told me I’m not a Real Fanfic Reader if I don’t follow unfinished works from the beginning and then forget with every new chapter what happened before and spend time and effort into remembering or rereading the previous chapters until it looks so much like homework, I stop reading alltogether? No. Fuck off. This isn’t a club. This is fandom. And anyone can and should experience fandom the way it is comfortable for THEMSELVES. We’re not. Hurting. Anyone. We’re just slower.

not reading wips feels anti-fanfiction to me. and i don't mean that in a "so you're a bad person if you don't read them" kinda way. do what you want. but i also feel, that you are completely missing the point. with fanfiction you're supposed to come along for the ride. the epic highs and lows of highschool football. the comment sections. the conversations. the theories. the "sorry i didn't update last week i was abducted by aliens and then my cat got stuck in a tree." LIKE. if you just want a story that's fully finished and polished go to a bookstore. fanfic is an EXPERIENCE. and ALSO. participating in the process is part of the way you make fanfic writing worth while. it's part of how you thank authors. like why would anyone write fanfiction if no one was going to interact with them until it was done? it again feels like a way that fanfiction is being eaten by consumer culture. you're waiting for your product. but this is supposed to be a club. you don't turn up to drama club like "where's my play bitch?" NO ma'am. we're supposed to paint these cardboard trees together. ok. i may have lost control of this metaphor. BUT YOU GET IT.

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

[oobbbear]

My old art teach who taught me so much and helped me prepare my college portfolio now full on supportive of AI art and videos they even opened classes dedicated to it, they post oh so proudly of how fast the students in their ai class ‘improve’ and how ‘efficient’ they draw. They’re a great artist I looked up to them since middle school but now they don’t even draw anymore all they post is AI stuff because it’s “where the future is headed traditional art is not worth it anymore” I don’t know how to feel maybe disappointment but mostly just hollow

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I am exhausted, good heavens.

[cinderpaw11]

I'm sick of DILFs. what about DILAM (dads I'd like to adopt me).

[chaos-potat]

I feel like being mutuals means so much less than everyone makes it seem

You literally just follow each other, that's it

Most of my mutuals probably don't even remember who I am after I stopped drawing for them

Edit: the rant in the tags is more about being annoyed with people who tell me they like my art and follow me, but that's it, no art support at all

[residencyisstrange]

mouthwashing is one of those important pieces of media to me because it opens my eyes to different topics and perspectives

[v-tired-queer]

In a weird way, I miss how my mom made me feel normal. It was a lot easier for me to regulate my emotions when she was here--she was someone I could talk to no matter what and she helped me work through my feelings, both good and bad. Sometimes even indifferent. She helped me identify what I was feeling, always let me talk it through, and never made me feel bad for needing breaks from certain things or people when things get to be too much. She even helped me understand what others were feeling or needed.

⚠️ TW: self harm behavior in the next paragraph

When I was younger, I used to hit myself on my thighs when I was overly frustrated or overstimulated. Since going to therapy after I got older, I learned better coping mechanisms and learned to identify when I need time away from sounds, sights, touch and smells and other people in general to calm down before I get so overwhelmed. But since Mom passed I haven't been able to get those breaks that I need, and people have been confusing me and frustrating me and I had a moment where without even thinking, I bit my lip, screamed into the bite, and hit my thighs like I used to, and I'm really upset that it came to that. Unfortunately, it feels like it helped, but at the same time, no it didn't.

⚠️ TW over

I'm just feeling really broken and lost. With my mom here, I never really noticed how much I struggle to communicate with others face-to-face. I've had countless moments these last few weeks where fellow human beings have left me utterly confused and frustrated. Mom was great at specifying exactly what she was trying to communicate to me, but the other people I live with aren't.

Long story short, emotional regulation is hard, people are confusing at best and frustrating at worst, I'm feeling more broken than ever, and for God sakes I just want a very, very quiet nap in a very, very dark room, preferably with my comfort objects and away from the rest of humanity.

[telesodalite]

With Krok now on my mind, it's reminded me of like, the whole deal of him coping with the loss of his squad by believing they'd just become separated? Because that bit is such a fascinating aspect of his character to me.

It's vague in a way that doesn't totally confirm whether he truly 100% deluded himself, or if he just kept telling himself that to try and distract from the truth and memories he didn't want to face.

(Which, for some reason this pisses Misfire off? Which implies something really interesting there about Misfire and his own coping mechanisms and issues that we don't get much of a peer into unfortunately.)

Anyway, I spent way too long thinking about it when I was reading through the comics. And it's like, did studying battles and strategy play a part in this delusion/lie?

Like, you're a being that lives for millions of years, in the middle of a war spanning those millions of years. So, at some point, surely those battles are going to start to blur together. So you've got that, and then you go and face a frankly horrifically traumatic fight that quite literally rips the people you cared about most, and felt responsible for, apart.

Presumably, Decepticons aren't the greatest at handling shell shock and other such side effects of war. So they just take this freshly traumatized mess of a dude, take him off the front lines and plant him on a warworld to aid the fight from a more comfortable distance.

With all this, the mind is bound to be fickle when faced with such sudden loss and change. But Krok obviously did his job there, or at least he was very knowledgeable on history and tactics beforehand.

Either way, he studied battle after battle, went through records of fight after fight, planned for what's next and reconsidered what had already happened. Hundreds of wins and losses.

So did it get jumbled there? In having a head full of battles, did some of them blur and mix with the one that took everything away from him? In trying to solve the failures of past battles, did he try and find where a victory could've been had against the wreckers that day? Did he find a solution that would've had his squad still whole and alive?

From there, did it slip into delusion, or a desperate lie to keep himself going?

I feel like his "mental health matters" moment was an interesting insight into it and possibly the average soldier's rough outlook on trauma. But it was still very surface level I think, but I guess going too deep into the why's and how's wouldn't have been important until maybe the Scavenger centric comics that uh, never happened :/

[teddybasmanov]

I hate the 'you work so hard' type of comfort audios. I don't work 'so hard', I definitely don't work hard - I barely work at all.

[great-tusk]

Ugh. I had a really bad day.