#i know they're not very the main relationship
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One makes him up, so the other can break him down.
This is a little terrifying but hello!! Posted my first fic on ao3!! I would've saved the illustrations for the fic's eyes only, but I'm too happy with them haha. Hope you'll still go on to read regardless!!
As always, my thoughts and progress, since I can't help myself:
I'm soooooo proud of these. I never ever really do dramatic lighting, so I'm really surprised that I pulled it off.
It's surreal actually posting this because for a while, I've thought about how if I ever post a fic, I'll have to make illustrations too because I can't do anything not full force. Look at me now! I'm shocked. Also didn't think I'd finish it tonight, but here it sits before you nevertheless(though as always, I'm writing this past my bedtime before class, time efficient as always.) So with that being said, here are some notes, though if I had known I'd be writing this so soon, I would've prepared more lol.
First of all, I hope it's clear both of these are Mark's perception. Gah, the fact that his face is the only one you can see clearly. The first is obviously him unwillingly fantasizing about what exactly went down last night.
Aghhhhh the difference in colors and settings of the two drawings is so important to me. The warmth and intimacy of the bed behind curtains in the first one, and the coldness and openess of the second. It's so clear Mark feels like he's been distanced, like he's been ousted. It's like he's been thrown outside on a cold winter's day, no longer able to feel the heat from the comfortable warm stove inside.
Mark was probably assigned to Seb bcs he has a much greater appreciation for the Spanish etiquette, which Seb has very little interest in. He'll abide by it when he absolutely has to. But he's just a very non-typical Emperor. People find it charming so it's not a public death sentence for him, but it is an issue. Thus, Mark is there to keep him in line. Though important to note that when Fernando, who has an equal if not greater respect for the showmanship of etiquette, realizes Mark is interested in that as well, they start warming up to each other.
The inherent disrespect of Fernando just. Throwing Seb's clothing onto the floor. Meanwhile he probably took like, 20 minutes folding his up(that's what Seb was gonna tell Mark at the end of the fic.) Borderline ripping off Seb's clothes only to edge him. Its not even like the ripping off the clothes is because of passion or anything, he's deliberately being an asshole. Don't worry Nandl, Seb's turned on by it!
So sorry to marknando fans if their dynamic feels like a complete 180 haha. Its not like I'm like, they actually hate each other!! It's just their relationship under completely different circumstances. They're like two dogs in a dog fight, they don't have any real reason to hate each other, but they're put against each other regardless. They don't understand their hatred, just know that they have it and that they're supposed to have it. The inherent hatred the mistress has for the spouse, and vice versa. If they actually were able to talk without barriers, they'd realize they actually get along pretty well. They kinda just hate each other because of their respective relationships to Seb. And then there's Seb who's mostly completely oblivious to his effect, though of course plays with it a bit.
Seb's marriage completely recontextualizes their relationship in Mark's eyes. Though there's something incredibly sado-masochistic about the way he can't blame Seb for it at all. He's a loyal dog after all. But when it was just them, he was obviously Seb's main companion and lover. Seb definitely slept with people on the side, but Mark brushed that off: 1. Bcs its very period typical. 2. He was the main, they were the side, what more needs to be said! But now *he's* the side piece, and is left wondering if their relationship was down to proximity alone. Not to pull a Mark and completely excuse Seb, but it's not. Just very different perceptions of love and relationships. And again, as I've mentioned before, he was raised to always be the most important person in the room, so he obviously has very different understandings, especially since he's always the center.
NANDL!!!!!! In my Habsburg book I've been reading lately, they randomly referred to one of them affectionately as "Nandl" and it's stuck in my head ever since. Can we start a movement to canonize that as an official Fernando nickname? I'm sooooo fond of it, I litrally ended the fic that way just so I could shoehorn that nickname in.
Speaking of the ending. It was really tough, I almost wanted to have Fernando burst in, looking for his ring, and then coming across whatever that is. But I didn't want to disrupt their moment anymore, it felt cruel. Though shame I couldn't mention that the reason why Seb's pants are nowhere to be found is because Fernando accidentally put them on and didn't realize till he was out of the room.
*I FORGOT TO POINT OUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS! Truly the danger of writing a post while falling asleep. There's something so incredibly funny to me the way they're talking so refined and then Seb just throws out: "that guy." It's a way to show his own disrespect of Fernando, not even using his name, implying he's just some guy(nur ein Kerl.) I laughed writing it cause it reminds me of the random dry humor anecdotes I've read lately.
#GAAAHHH WHY DO I ALWAYS WRITE THESE WHEN I START FEELING SLEEP DIZZY#haha anyways. first fic!!! so terrified icl#i really cant tell if this makes sense or appeals to anyone but me#BUT I LIKE IT AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS#im ngl i started feeling way too existential and self critical of it so i somehow pushed myself to finish it despite#working on it w a lot of delay and fuss for the month prior#yay for being anxious and self hating i guess....?#waugh anyways please reblog/comment and let me know what you think!!!!!!!#im desperate to know how others perceive this slddsfjls#though im a little scared this fic is too mean LOL#f1#formula 1#mark webber#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.art.#boy king au#sebmark#martian#vettonso
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Hello and welcome to the very first Landoscar Fest!
We've had the pleasure of these two idiots (affectionate) as teammates for two whole seasons now and have been provided with plenty of material both on and off the track to fuel our imaginations.
Ever thought of an idea that you wish you had the time to write? Or hoped there was fic out there that fit that exact situation you're craving to see Landoscar in? Or wanted to see how others would write our boys in a well-loved trope? Well, that is what this fest is for!
What better way to spend this upcoming winter break than to share these ideas and prompts with others, all the while picking up ones that might catch your eye.
Read on for more details!
Landoscar Fest AO3 Collection
By clicking on the link above, you will be able to sign up for this fest, submit your own prompts, claim prompts, and see how the fest is growing!
This collection is where all prompts will be kept to be claimed, and where all prompt filled fics will be collated.
Schedule
Sign Up & Prompt Submission Opens: November 15th (sign up here)
Sign Up & Prompt Submission Closes: December 10th
Prompt Fill Fics Due: February 4th
Collection Reveal: February 10th
FAQs
How does this fest work?
This fest is a prompt fest, meaning fest participants are able to add prompts to the collection on AO3 for fics they would like to see written. Fest participants are able to peruse the prompts being posted and claim the one(s) that tickle their fancy and motivates their muses.
Is there a minimum/maximum word count for the prompt fills?
Although we don't want to police this fest too harshly, we would recommend a minimum of 1000 words per prompt fill fic. There is no maximum limit.
Can I claim more than one prompt?
Yes, of course!! All we ask is for writers to remember that readers always prefer quality over quantity, so please keep this in mind and don't overwork yourselves with too many prompts!
Can I write more than one prompt fill?
Yes, but please make sure each prompt fill has its own fic to be fair to the prompter.
Why are the prompts anonymous?
We have kept the prompts and claims anonymous for fairness and to encourage newbies to the fandom or to writing to do so without any expectation. Lets even the playing field and have some fun! (Don't worry, your posted prompt fill fics won't be anonymous!)
Can I tell an author that they have fulfilled my prompt?
Yes, of course! In fact, we would love it if prompters left a comment on the fic(s) to let the author know it was then who sent in the prompt, and what they thought of the fic!
Can my prompt fills contain other ships?
As this is a Landoscar fest, they should be the main ship of your prompt fill. But yes, other ships and characters can be featured as background characters/relationships
I want to take part but none of the prompts are calling me. Can I still take part?
We hope that the prompts that are submitted by the fest participants will be varied enough for everyone to find at least one they vibe with. However we understand that this isn't always possible so we have added a few vague, starter prompts just in case. If you are still having an issue, please reach out and we'll see what we can do!
What if my prompt fill isn't complete by the due date (February 4th)?
Please do not worry and let us know as soon as you realise that you won't be able to make the deadline. We will see what we can do to help :)
Any more questions? Please feel free to send us an ask or a DM!
Rules
This is an easy-going fest. We don't have many rules but please keep the following in mind:
Please be mindful with how your prompts are worded and to avoid anything excessively explicit.
If you have any triggers, squicks or DNWs (do not wants), please state these in your prompt request.
Don't forget to tag your prompt fill fics with the appropriate tags so they're easy to find.
If your prompt is filled, don't forget to leave a lovely little comment to let them know how much you appreciate their hard work!
Please keep in mind that this is a Landoscar-focused fest.
And most importantly, have fun! 🧡
(psst, don't forget to sign up!)
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youtube
►Li Lianhua & Di Feisheng | Sacrifice
My contribution to this fandom!
#this drama and this ship deserve more hype#i love everything about it#i know they're not very the main relationship#i like the trouple vibe#and fang duobing#but feihua checked every trope I love 😂#and they gave me enough inspiration to make a video#li lianhua#di feisheng#li lianhua x di feisheng#li xiangyi#mysterious lotus casebook#莲花楼#lian hua lou#cdrama#feihua#video edit#my edit#Youtube
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Be honest, what are your thoughts on appledash? Do you hate it or its more of not a big deal
Not a big deal to me. I like it, I see all the appeals, I just personally like Rarijack more.
#ask me#anon#if you wanna know why i like rarijack more i just think they're a healthier depiction of a domestic and longterm relationship#appledash gives me the vibes of gfs that'll eventually break up#because from s1 to s8 their relationship and communication with each other on serious things never really matures or grows#they were competitive and petty in s1 and they were competitive and petty in s8#arguably worse cuz in that s8 episode their dynamic becomes so toxic they almost cause a student under their care to drown#both of them have a superiority complex that's constantly conflicting with each other and it never really gets resolved#but with rarijack there's a very clear arc of development you can follow in their character#and multiple episodes show how they'll argue and eventually come back together and apologize and communicate and work to better things#you can watch them grow to like and understand each other. in s1 aj scoffs and makes fun of rarity's work in fashion#but in a later season (after some conflict) aj says that she doesn't understand fashion but she knows it means a lot to rarity so it means#a lot to her too. and that's what love is to me. ���it didn't mean anything to me until it meant something to you”#it's genuinely really sweet and i'd argue rarijack /feels/ the most romantic out of all the main 6 ships. through arguing they grow closer#which is how it's supposed to be in relationships that last! you argue to work out your interpersonal problems and understand each other#(which is why it's genuinely kinda baffling to me that appledash ended up being canonically married because they never gave me those vibes)#but it really doesn't matter. they're cartoon horses! have fun with them
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some other liyue girls redesigned! i really wanted to draw xiangling since her color palette is very nice^^ +yelan with outfit designed by mutual
#xiangling ties her sleeves with ribbons to avoid making them dirty#also her ornaments resemble hot steam from food and edible seeds and plant roots and sprouts#i think xiangling's outfit should be pretty simple and i used duan da as a reference for her clothing here#not much to tell about qiqi though... i just wanted her dressing to be longer and less layered aha#theyre quite opposites aren they? very lively girl and very dead girl#also...i dont really know why i wanted to draw xiangling fat.. i saw a woman on the street that reminded me of her somehow..that was a main#inspiration i guess... i hope it doesn't come as offensive as her character is so heavily food inspired..#btw i really want to xiangling and yelan to become friends..or at least develop some reliable relationships... idk why.. they are so#different but they're not opposites..! and i want more girl&woman duos#genshin impact#genshin redesign#redesign#xiangling#xiangling genshin impact#qiqi#qiqi genshin impact#yelan#yelan genshin impact#xiangling & yelan#my art#fat art#fat positivity#fat xiangling
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Hi GT,
Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I absolutely love the recs you've given (you've introduced me to tomione, and I love it!) and I was wondering if it's possible to give you some recs in return? There are some books and fics that definitely have dramione / got vibes, and I was wondering if I could share them with you!
So glad you've enjoyed them! Feel free to rec me anything you want. I've read most of the classic recs in terms of fic and adjacent content (Cruel Prince et al), but I'll try anything that's well-written. My tastes run towards weird and/or audaciously creative stuff, and I can forgive a lot of weaknesses in plot on the grounds of (1) ambition or (2) character work. My turnoffs are instalove, protagonists who can't fail, and most Y/A (I'm not a hater, I swear, I just need characters who can say "fuck" when their leg gets chopped off.)
I'm also a fan of weird and fucked-up dynamics.(Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for a while, and as a teenager I wrote an AU in which the book ends on a long sex scene where Heathcliff fucks Cathy's ghost and then immediately gets murdered by Catherine 2.) Obviously, I am very normal.
#greenteacup asks#my beef with Y/A is mostly expressed in a dissonance between tone and content#LOVE the content. dystopia fantasy horror sex and blood — awesome. but question. why are they all saying 'darn'?#like in the vampire diaries where they'll watch people get eaten and then 2 episodes later be like 'omg SCHOOL DANCE'#(EDIT: actually in fairness. on the vampire diaries. it was mostly just caroline that did that. unfair example my apologies)#& i distinguish this critique from a common bitch-and-moan complaint about tv shows being interested in 'girly' things#like relationships and social standing. that is not my complaint. that shit is delicious. i will chomp that shit for days#my issue is that when the stakes oscillate wildly from episode to episode and i can't tell what the main thing is#like sorry. a story with murder in it is always going to be about murder. you can't make it not about murder#unfortunately! many have tried.#and in general i have difficulty reading about teenagers bc—#(she says having written 600k words about them OKAY I KNOW. i contain multitudes.)#because they're either mini-adults (preferred flavor. jude in the cruel prince nails this) or like leetol babies to me#and unless it's something like the hunger games where the Leetol Baby thing is part of the story#i'm like. hang on. you're 12 what are you doing here#percy jackson was hard for me to re-read as an adult for this reason#which is why they're enjoyable for teenagers! because as a teenager you DO feel like an adult#and you like reading books that treat you like one! nothing wrong with that! healthy even!#only then you get past the teenage years (mashallah) and you get stuff like twilight#where of COURSE bella doesn't think twice about 117 year old man falling in love with her#because he looks like a rich mysterious 17-year-old hottie#but you reread it later and it's like um well. that. could be explored a little more maybe.#i'm not even necessarily opposed to it. candidly. still team edward. i just think the dynamic should be more fucked up and juicy.#which Y/A authors are often reluctant to do. like. COWARDS! face the nasty consequences of your narrative decisions!#anyhow. you didn't ask for any of this. please give me your recs lovely person you seem very nice.
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!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#A great episode tbh especially given the low budget. I feel like they really did their very best#And even though what I'm going to say next is probably going to be all critic - because I nitpick things and that's what I always end up–#talking about - I still want to underline that it was a very solid and enjoyable episode!!!#Alright the ss/kk was so 💞💞💞 every scene I had to rewatch twice or thrice akhscbashfb they're so cute!!!#Except for the riding scene tho. That scene gives me massive second hand embarrassment every time I just wish it will end as fast as–#possible pffttt. Mmmmhhh... The drawings weren't even too bad all accounted. My main complain is about the quicksand scene...#I feel like that one should be a slow quiet emotional scene. I never licked the choice of using the song as background soundtrack :/#I feel like it ruins the mood of the scene (it was still good though)#I also... Generally don't like the direction they seem to go for with Akutagawa's character in the anime‚ he seems quite a bit flatter–#compared to how he is in the manga. He can't be angry and evil ALL the time you need to show that softness get through from time to time.#If not what even is the point of his character. Yet in the anime he's angry (and not distraught) when he loses the mine craft and he's–#angry when he's questioning Atsushi about his motifs and he's angry when he's bragging about Atsushi's abilities to Goncharov and he's–#angry when he makes the promise with Atsushi at the end of the episode and eventually he'll be just as angry even when telling Atsushi–#to run away as he's sacrificing his life for him. It is pretty flat at the end of the day.#If I can say something about K/ensho Ono without being killed I think they do contribute to making him feel angry all the time.#But that said it's all probably poor directing choices (or simply choices I don't agree with).#Also‚ about cuts. Usually I try to be lenient about it– I understand it's hard to fit in everything and b/sd already does a very–#good job by adapting the manga almost panel-by panel. It's just that... You skip Akutagawa showing compassion for Atsushi after the–#orphanage director died. You skip Atsushi sharing the same compassion when Akutagawa loses his targed in the mines chase. You skip the–#“Nothing special about that. // I suppose he's far crueler than my own mentor.” line. And sure each of them may be negligible by their own#But together they wave a consistent web of relationship between the two characters you know? And it's a loss to omit them all#Well no mind. Again it was still a great episode overall!!!!#I think the colors in the mines could have been prettier in the mines but we can't have it all#Off to season 4!!! Omg I can't believe we got this far :DDD#random rambles#FINALLY was able to catch up in time for the season 3 finale!!!!!!
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Throwing my hat in the relationship chart ring. 1bit/beat charts credit to @//likesaly and @///silvercrane14, if this bothers either of you please let me know so I can delete it!
1bit relationship spaghetti breakdown:
Platonic
Romantic
Familial
Negative
#Also feel free to ask for elaboration on anything#pieceofcake.txt#Saying Koza is related to the cats is weird but I didn't want to put “pseudo-familial” for Merue and Shitsuna so whatever#adoptive family is family(cats count)#Replaced the close friends line with respect but in hindsight 'friends' could range anywhere from besties to#spoke a couple of times and got along pretty well. Oh well#the 1bit one in particular's timeline is wonky because I don't think a lot of these characters would know each other /during/ 1bit but that#it also leaves out a lot of relationships that would have formed by the timeskip/relationships that would've developed and changed by then#Was tempted to add the main characters to the 1beat chart but(if my 1bit chart wasn't apparent enough) I'm very flippant about how#I want the main character relationships to go#There wouldn't be much change tbh. More of them would be friends maybe.#I did say Izuchi was familiar with the Blue Sun trio to an extent but I lied#which is to say I forgot that they said Blue Sun College of Music and not just a general college#Going to run with it having other branches in the area so maybe he's /heard/ of them or has even watched them perform before#But they're not like schoolmates or anything#I kind of want Sora to be friends with the cats because he shares a va with one of them but I have no idea what circumstances#would lead to them meeting#Also intrapersonal relationships between the fatcats but I haven't decided on those#Got a little too silly with the ''dislike'' lines for Sora and just ended up opting to remove them entirely#they're there in spirit though
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eugh not a fan of my ex boyfriend excitedly going to tell our group that he has a crush on someone
#i so desperately need to know who it is so i have more information to be desperately insecure about#just me rambling again#being actively in a friend group with your ex where many of your friends will avidly flirt back and forth with him also isn't. the most fun#especially bc the main 2 friends that flirt back and fourth with him are the two that know the most about how#badly the relationship fucked me up#so. fun :]#it makes me incredibly uncomfortable but also our group has a very flirtatious energy so i have no right to be#i just have to get over it i am making this post so that i dont say anything because that would be bitchy#also i literally cannot say anything about the main part of this post bothering me bc i literally have told the group i have a crush#but alsooooo i need my ex boyfriend to tell me who he likes immediately so that i can turn around and violently compare myself#and like take note of all the ways that they're more interesting than me#y'know#but like we're friends obviously he has full right to?? tell us Abt a life update he's excited about#hence... tumblr dot com vent post so i don't become a bitch in person and i can continue to ignore any negative feelings i have
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Yes my finals are going great! (<- has been obsessing over Solomon a Gaenor for the past 48 hours and has been rendered completely incapacitated by it)
#there are no good gifs of it otherwise i would add it to my cool little tumblr sticker collections#might make a post on my main idk#i don't even know why it's making me this insane like i'm not even sure what there was to be insane about#like it's literally giving romeo and juliet but make it even more depressing which i feel like is not usually my thing#but it was so interesting!!!!!!!! and like very nuanced in talking about religion and complicated relationships to it#this may have been helped by i watched the whole thing in welsh first and understood about 20% of the words on a good stretch#and so was really mostly watching the imaginary movie made up in my head based on images and snippets of dialogue#but also this morning i did a side-by-side with the english version and it was very interesting because it's literally two different takes#and so you can see the actors acting differently and the difference the language change brings out in their dynamic...very interesting stuf#anyways i've now written almost 2000 words of What If Solomon Didn't Die#because i think it would be really interesting to make them work out their life together and how they'd find community and such#idk man they're making me so insane i don't think i've ever been this insane about a cishet couple in media before :')#i need to stop thinking about them. i have like three and a half papers to write#perce rambles
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I was on the wikipedia page for phobias just for fun but just discovered theres an actual word for a fear of being touched.. 🥹
#haphephobia.... and they list guts from berserk under pop culture references 😢😢😭😭 thats my guy....#not gonna lie i teared up a bit i didnt realise it 'counted' as an actual phobia#i find it really difficult to talk abt but i have a complicated relationship w touch/physical contact (likely trauma babeyy)#and while i do crave it a lot i also have a very physical reflexive fear response especially if its intentional + i dont expect it#which can sometimes even get triggered just being in proximity to ppl bc like. even the possibility sets me on fucking edge#it would be nice to be as physically affectionate as i naturally want to be without dealing w my fight/flight/freeze but alas#its weird bc there are some random situations where it doesnt get triggered at all but its so unpredictable every time#and varies wildly person to person for seemingly no reason. there r strangers im innately more comfortable with but also friends ive known#for years and will never be comfortable around. i think part of that depends on how strongly the other person communicates and whether-#i feel as if theyre demonstrably able to respect boundaries not just mine but their own too + understand theyre not always fixed#ideally i need to have had this conversation with them so i Know they understand. which is rly difficult i find it so hard to admit#and i have a complicated mental block where i need the other person to naturally bring it up which very very rarely ever happens#idk just an atmosphere of safety yknow. i think its intentional touch that specifically makes me panic bc im usually fine w like-#bustling crowds or even expected social rules like handshakes at interviews. bc its not like they're Trying To Touch Me its just rote idk#hopefully eventually ill reach a place where im able to unpack it and reduce its severity bc man sometimes its fucking heartbreaking to me#bc i do genuinely really like physical contact im an incredibly physical person its my main way of interacting w the world#and the way having to force myself to avoid it meshes w my rsd too augh.... its a clusterfuck#even just having one person im completely comfortable with. maaaaan.#almost makes me miss my ex. at least i was mostly cool around them#god its sucked lately ive been having weird vivid dreams related to it. but whatever its so far down my list of problems to prioritize#and at least i dont get it w my familys dog so i can cuddle her :^) i miss her i cant wait to see her next month :D#anywayyyy thats enough im so tired goodnight every1...#.diaries
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Bee and puppycat lazy in space I love you so so much it's not even funny
#ramblings of a lunatic#decided to rewatch it again bc the toh finale has had me in a tizzy and while I'm getting better#it's definitely been hard just floating about in fandom space knowing that the show is ending and that in the scenario we do get more of it#in another form ofc#it won't be for a long time yknow?#it's saddening and back in September when i was uh. Very Sad bapc was really there for me#i was out here ardently defending the netflix series' writing bc i genuinely thought it was really good#and i still do#but more than that this show is intensely comforting in a way i can't really place/describe#it's a magical girl show. it's a workplace comedy. 99% of the cast is 25 years or older. its a coming of age story.#it's has pastel and lo-fi art direction. it's cosmic horror. the main character is so caring and yet so selfish and also autistic#and a robot#all of her romantic relationships are intensely weird and frankly are her least interesting dynamics#her most interesting dynamics are with her roomate/pet who's actually a space pirate cursed to look like a marketable plushy#and with her 8 year old landlord who's mom was childhood best friends with her dad making them family in a sense#except they're not really. also they're foils (she's an immature adult he's a kid who tries to be more responsible than he is)#it's filled with intense melancholy and multiple characters suffer from un-talked about depression#it is one of the cutest and brightest shows i have ever seen (in a non-obnoxious or technicolor way) and has an intense air of whimsy#it kinda has a fandom but not a big one despite having an undeniable impact in online animation culture and a bit on online culture overall#I'm not captivated by it in a fandom-y sense but i am obsessed with it. it's like wuthering heights to me#i love this show
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skip black sails season 1 this and skip mash seasons 1-3 that, it simply seems odd to not watch the establishing parts of a story the first time you watch said story because they aren’t as polished as later on (as they’re busy doing the establishing part), under the guise of considering them “less progressive”
#there's something here about yes engage with what you want and how you want depending on your limits and desires#but the way some people frame these things is... very odd#and i think has much less to do with degrees of sexism or violence and much more to do with wanting to skip to the main part of the story#but those parts aren't as good if you don't first go with the opening (which in both of these cases is very good actually)#it's this: if you don't like beginnings of stories much because they're too messy obvs go right ahead#but don't try to frame it as a choice based on morals about the contents of said story#it feels like people really want things to be fanfiction -- oh we already know the world we just want the [insert tropes]#i feel like i see this a lot with season ones and that is the devil talking -- that is the netflix model of binge binge binge#that doesn't let you engage with a slowly building story because you want something big to happen Right Away#there's an awful lot of disclaiming going on -- just watch the fuckn story and draw your own conclusions#if it's not a trigger then people will be fine#this is a sign that i need to go to bed#why in the World would you start with mash s4 when it literally opens with hawkeye's panicked response to trapper's leaving?#and then goes on to show us a hawkeye who is a changed man because of the events of the end of s3#with characters regularly invoked?#and with relationships established (especially margaret's) that will be explored in-depth now that she's been firmly introduced#in many of her complexities?
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just watched notting hill which is supposed to be like an epitome of a good romcom and... Well. Let's just say i highly disagree
#jab we met (2006) really fcked up my expectations of what a good romcom should be#also stuff like nothing serious (2021). it's not enough with the pretty cinematography the colorful#(pun intendes cause they're all white) cast of side characters and the chemistey between the lead actors#i need their background their baggage their context how they actually connect as human beings and change each other#otherwise you're just preaching a stupid idea of what love should be and making up a story where the main couple#go back and forth because PLOT but it's actually because there's practically nothing going on between them in terms of actual trust#you're selling infatuation as love and they're not the same#so in notting hill we know anna has all these troubles. we know she has been in an abusive relationship one after the other. we know she#has a bf by the time she meets the guy. we know that but we never EXPLORE that. we see she's deeply hurt that her intimate#photos were leaked and that her relationship with the guy (her only solace) was revealed to the press but we never really DEAL with the#consequences of that. we're TOLD the guy is a hopeless romantic and an pverall decent fellow. they let drop he dated bella at some point#and worst of all we know he got divorced recently. but we never see his ex wife we know nothing about her he doesn't seem to think#about her at all which is odd at best for someone who claims to both be very devoted to the one he's in love and also claims he's#only been in love twice (bella & his exwife) before anna. we don't see their baggage just hear it. we don't see them talk it out or work#through it and when anna reacts roughly surely because of stress and trauma the narrative ends up putting her in the wrong (though to be#fair he isn't protrayed as being in the right exactly). the film is supposedly all about illusion vs reality and anna's deakre to be seen#for what she is (just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her thing) but actually the movie is about infatuation. a deep#one sure buy not about love. it's about solace but not nuance. it's fairy tale but fairy tales don't work in real life. we're supposed to#strive for the fairy tale which is literally completely impossible to achieve#effective romance movies and romcoms have that fantasy element for sure but they stay grounded. if not in plot surely in human connection#laura watches stuff
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#I think the hardest thing is that you'll talk to someone when they're drunk and they'll be very affectionate/loving#and then you talk to them sober and they're cold again#and it's like... why can't you show that level of affection when you're sober?#there's a lot of reasons - I know#just digs up some real deep rejection sensitivity issues lol#anyway I'm gonna try to talk to my sisters more and just hope I catch them when they're sober#this is why I don't drink lol#my eldest sister went fifteen years not drinking and as soon as she started she developed a problem#we're like The Most Alcoholic family#ugh#the main way I've dealt with my trauma around it is just by avoiding drinking/drinkers entirely#but if I want a relationship with my sisters I have to deal with it directly
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hey! i stumbled across you on ao3 through genshin (i think? that was in september i have no idea at this point), went to check out your profile and saw my hero academia works there. i am currently very much into it, so i was like let's gooo sooo I found B♭ and that has been a wild journey.
firstly, i don't have any experience with american school system, so a lot of worldbuilding was new for me. moreover, marching band is something from another universe(aka music lover but never got educated on the matter), so fic constantly challenged me with new details-concepts-vocabulary. stepping outside of your comfort zone while reading? great idea! i think i never learned so much from a fic while enjoying it so much ^^
secondly, i am simply amazed by sheer amount of effort you put into it. i decided to read in publishing order, so non-chronological really impressed me. you're honestly a mastermind being able to pull that off. also, having a song for every chapter with specifically picked out lyrics relevant to the content is so, so cool! the diversity of your playlists should be astonishing, i'm jealous :)
thirdly, the characters are just so real. i love all the canon references, i love the reactions that don't feel exagerrated or too mild. they are acting...exactly as i would expect them to in that circumstances and setting. i just accepted leads' ways of thinking and reflecting so naturally
i also read the extra notes when they were available and just...how much thought is put in is mezmerising. for some reason i never thought pulling directly from your life experiences when writing? but it actually makes a lot of sense and it brought me some ideas to try out so hehe ;)
as i am very smart and hadn't scrolled down on the order post, i didn't see until quite late in the reading that the end of perfect harmony is published as notes, so that was a surprise. i understand your reasons and the fact that you're not even in the fandom anymore, but you mentioned in some extra notes that it's ok to ask for them even if years passed so...here i am three years after, complimenting B♭ :D
anyway, i finished it a couple of days ago, and even the notes are quite detailed. images of described shenanigans popped into my head just like that, and i really appreciate that you published them and i got to know what happened next!!
i actually wondered why were the comments disabled since i really wanted to comment on a few chapters bc your work deserves it so much...but yeah, that's what led me here so i guess congrats, you get my thoughts all nicely packed in one place ^_^
there's probably a lot of specific pieces, details, ideas i liked about B♭, so that is merely a summary of exciting things i remember!
i'll say goodbye using my favourite oneshot title:
thank you for the music ✩°。⋆⸜(ू。•ω•。)
not gonna lie i'm kind of obsessed w/the way you just glossed over the fact that you (probably) found me through my (anonymous) genshin fics, which means you jumped through the (minimum three) hoops required to get here, my (named) fandom blog, and then proceed to gush abt a bnha series i did. like i would assume that if someone put in the effort to find my other fandom fics from my genshin stuff, then there must've been smth really worth looking into w/the genshin stuff lmao
for the sake of my mutuals' dashboards, since this ask is so long i'm just gonna chuck the whole (long) answer under a cut lol
anyway yes Bb!! the amt of effort n planning i put into that series was legitimately insane. i made school schedules for EVERY SINGLE BNHA CHARACTER and PUT IT ON A SPREADSHEET so that i could PLAN WHO COULD WALK WITH WHOM TO THEIR NEXT CLASSES n have PLOT-RELEVANT CONVERSATIONS LIKE THAT. i made little profiles for each of the characters, where i chose their favorite musical key (and why), how many years/instruments they play, and gave them each a funny little quote/catchphrase!!!
what possessed me to do this for ~20 different characters i honestly could not tell you
i definitely loved working on Bb a lot. i remember sitting down three years ago, practically to the day by this point, n hashing out the events of every single chapter to the epilogue, then reorganizing them into a proper timeline (i also kept a calendar in my notes with the chapters in order), all while occasionally looking out my bedroom window n thinking how wonderfully bright n warm n sunny the world was becoming again. bc really, 2019 was a very struggle year for me, n i didn't take the time to appreciate the sunlight then the way i have every year since. from there, i worked off that very strict outline, and most of the note-chapters that were eventually put up are primarily just copy-pasted straight from there.
i remember being on youtube a lot for music recs when working on perfect harmony too!! a bunch of them changed in the years btwn walking away from the series n actually publishing the notes (which were actually published mid-december last year, then backdated to 2020 a few days later ahaha), with a number of the tour arc alternate chapter title songs coming from songs that didn't even exist at the time of the fic's original planning. my mp3 collection grew a lot during the planning phases of Bb lmao.
i'm glad the characters felt so real!!! while no one character was based entirely off one single person i knew irl, one could say that writing Bb was a bit of a love letter to my time in high school band in some places, both the events i partook in n the people i knew there. it was a very "write what you know" type of fic.
anyway haha yeah the end of my bnha days were not fun, but i still loved Bb enough to hold onto the idea of returning to it Soon(tm) that i put off publishing the chapter notes for almost two years. even then, that was a difficult decision for me to make bc a part of me wasn't ready to close that chapter of my life. i think ultimately it was the best decision to make though, since the fics are p heavily tied up in a much sadder part of my life that i'd just rather not return to.
the main reason comments were turned off of Bb (and indeed, the majority of my bnha fics) is most simply described as "resentment". it's different from how i feel abt my old snk fics (where i turned comments off of them so that i could pretend no one's really reading them anymore), which is more impersonal "oh my god i was so young back then and i give fewer than negative shits abt any mistakes i might've made on them or what anyone thinks of them" bc in bnha it's kind of hard to avoid the fact that i had a Name in the circles i typically traversed for a while. it wasn't that big of a name, but it's certainly more than nothing.
it's not really a feeling i like to dwell on, so i just archive-locked the responsible works n turned off comments for the most heinous culprits (mostly sparklers, but even tho i love Bb as a story, i do not love Bb as a publishing experience, if that makes sense), and for the most part, that keeps the resentment contained.
still, i'm genuinely happy that you enjoyed the au so much!!! i honestly love love love how goddamn SPECIFIC the premises are for this fic. the world was truly built with love, and the music puns for every title were always such a joy to come up with c':
thank you for the ask!!!! :D
#asks#kid-of-yesterday#long post#if you really did come here from my genshin fics last SEPTEMBER then boy howdy do i know Exactly which fic you came from#(if it was in september then it Must have been the saucy xv fic abt the sharp teeth bc pure identity didn't come out til oct)#i have a lot of Feelings abt my time in the bnha fandom that i just don't rlly like to talk abt publicly tbh#mostly bc (most of those Feelings are 'resentment' lmao) i try actively to not be a bitter person anymore#but also i hate admitting that people Knew me bc it feels like vanity or bragging#(bc if my name had ever been ''worth anything'' then why did Bb not garner the attention i'd hoped?)#i know that those thoughts aren't true n all but they're overall very complicated feelings#regarding how fandom at large treats fan creations and creators that ultimately led to my current decision to publish anonymously#ofc my feelings towards fandom n the fan-fan creator relationship have shifted w/time again n i do often consider just de-anoning#but it's... Tricky.... to say the least#haha sorry for unloading a little gloomily onto your lovely ask but i also think you deserve my honest thoughts#and not a saccharine falsehood / partial truth (oh hey that's the main thesis of rhythm lol)#ALSO to have an izch fic as your fave is exemplary taste when combined w/krbk#i am handing you a plaque that says 'certified good taste in ships'
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