#i know they're not soup but soup adjacent!

[tennessoui]

Ooo so these aren't ,,technically” a soup (potato potato, you know) but Indian dishes of soup like consistency <3 you can just eat them by the bowl or get bread/rice with the dish

There’s spinach cooked in green gram (moong dal palak), Sanjeev Kapoor’s recipe works out great for it; just use 1 tablespoon of oil and if you’re using green chillies, chop them, but if its red chillies leave them whole. Also, once you’re done taking it off the flame, take a hand blender to it and make it smooth, you can add water as needed after the blender to make it the consistency you want(if you added too much water, you can just put it back on the flame and let it simmer for some time). After this, add the lemon juice <3 you can have this with bread or rice or just by itself :) The recipe is in the description of the video 

Then there’s khichdi, the dish everyone has when they’re sick. You can go by literally any recipe for khichdi, it’s a really simple dish, I don’t think recipes would differ…. But just check if it’s not dry khichdi (you shouldn’t be able to make out individual rice) 

One last dish I would recommend is Pav bhaji- but only the bhaji, you can have it without the bread <3 we normally put potatoes, tomatoes, onions, cauliflower, peas, okra and capsicum in our recipe.  This is a good recipe (pls don’t add the food colouring they’re kinda crazy not everyone in Mumbai adds that) but I understand if if the spices are difficult to obtain (kasuri methi= dried fenugreek leaves) If there’s a store near you selling spices for south asian people, they would have this and also the pre mixed Pav bhaji masala. Dental surgeries are a PAIN I hope you feel better soon kit <3

ahhh what a resource this is!! i gotta admit i do not have a lot of exposure to indian food, but i will have to try because a lot of stuff looks delicious especially the recipe i found for khichdi!

and moong dal palak is on my shortlist--the video makes it look so good!!!

thank you so much! i started browsing through Hebbar's Kitchen--it feels like you've unlocked a whole new world of food i am going to get so into <3 i live really close to an international store with a huge south asia section-- hopefully i can do this justice!!

[copperbadge]

I'm getting depressingly good at identifying the formula for Pop Academic Books About ADHD.

Regardless of their philosophy it pretty much goes like this:

1. Emotionally sensitive essay about the struggle of ADHD and the author's personal experience with it as both a person with ADHD and a healthcare professional.

2. Either during or directly following this, a lightly explicated catalogue of symptoms, illustrated by anecdotes from patient case studies. Optional: frequent, heavy use of metaphor to explain ADHD-driven behavior.

3. Several chapters follow, each dedicated to a symptom; these have a mini-formula of their own. They open with a patient case study, discuss the highly relatable aspects of the specific symptom or behavior, then offer some lightweight examples of a treatment for the symptom, usually accompanied by follow up results from the earlier case studies.

4. Somewhere around halfway-to-two-thirds through the book, the author introduces the more in-depth explication of the treatment system (often their own homebrew) they are advocating. These are generally both personally-driven (as opposed to suggested cultural changes, which makes sense given these books' target audience, more on this later) and composed of an elaborate system of either behavior alteration or mental reframing. Whether this system is actually implementable by the average reader varies wildly.

5. A brief optional section on how to make use of ADHD as a tool (usually referring to ADHD or some of its symptoms as a superpower at least once). Sometimes this section restates the importance of using the systems from part 4 to harness that superpower. Frequently, if present, it feels like an afterthought.

6. Summation and list of further resources, often including other books which follow this formula.

I know I'm being a little sarcastic, but realistically there's nothing inherently wrong about the formula, like in itself it's not a red flag. It's just hilariously recognizable once you've noticed it.

It makes sense that these books advocate for the Reader With ADHD undertaking personal responsibility for their treatment, since these are in the tradition of self-help publishing. They're aimed at people who are already interested in doing their own research on their disability and possible ways to handle it. It's not really fair to ask them to be policy manuals, but I do find it interesting that even books which advocate stuff like volunteering (for whatever reason, usually to do with socialization issues and isolation, often DBT-adjacent) never suggest disability activism either generally or with an ADHD-specific bent.

None of these books suggest that perhaps life with ADHD could be made easier with increased accommodations or ease of medication access, and that it might be in a person's best interest to engage in political advocacy surrounding these and other disability-related issues. Or that activism related to ADHD might help to give someone with ADHD a stronger sense of ownership of their unique neurology. Or that if you have ADHD the idea of activism or even medical self-advocacy is crushingly stressful, and ways that stress might be dealt with.

It does make me want to write one of my own. "The Deviant Chaos Guide To Being A Miscreant With ADHD". Includes chapters on how to get an actual accurate assessment, tips for managing a prescription for a controlled substance, medical and psychiatric self-advocacy for people who are conditioned against confrontation, When To Lie About Being Neurodivergent, policy suggestions for ADHD-related legislation, tips for activism while executively dysfunked, and to close the book a biting satire of the pop media idea of self-care. ("Feeling sad? Make yourself a nice pot of chicken soup from scratch and you'll feel better in no time. Stay tuned after this rambling personal essay for the most mediocre chicken soup recipe you've ever seen!" "Have you considered planning and executing an overly elaborate criminal heist as a way to meet people and stay busy?")

Every case study or personal anecdote in the book will have a different name and demographics attached but will also make it obvious that they are all really just me, in the prose equivalent of a cheap wig, writing about my life. "Kelly, age seven, says she struggles to stay organized using the systems neurotypical children might find easy. I had to design my own accounting spreadsheet in order to make sure I always have enough in checking to cover the mortgage, she told me, fidgeting with the pop socket on her smartphone."

I feel a little bad making fun, because these books are often the best resource people can get (in itself concerning). It's like how despite my dislike of AA, I don't dunk on it in public because I don't want to offer people an excuse not to seek help. It feels like punching down to criticize these books, even though it's a swing at an industry that is mainly, it seems, here to profit from me. But one does get tired of skimming the hype for the real content only to find the real content isn't that useful either.

Les (not his real name) was diagnosed at the age of 236. Charming, well-read, and wealthy, he still spent much of his afterlife feeling deeply inadequate about his perceived shortcomings. "Vampire culture doesn't really acknowledge ADHD as a condition," he says. "My sire wouldn't understand, even though he probably has it as well. You should see the number of coffins containing the soil of his homeland that he's left lying forgotten all over Europe." A late diagnosis validated his feelings of difference, but on its own can't help when he hyperfocuses on seducing mortals who cross his path and forgets to get home before sunrise. "I have stock in sunburn gel companies," he jokes.

[infinizero]

Danny as The Ghostly Informant TM except nobody realizes it's the same person

Danny after retiring, maybe because the portals are closed or maybe because he became Ghost Royalty or Important Ghost TM who told everyone not to come to Earth, decides to go travelling like or with Dani/Elle

Its really up to anyone whether it was reveal gone right after graduation and dude wants to find himself before doing the whole college thing or reveal gone wrong and is running away maybe in another dimension maybe in the same and Amity Park is a blind zone in any case he goes travelling

The first one he encounters is a more easygoing JL member maybe Flash maybe Wonder Woman trying to figure out how to defeat a Realms ghost so Danny, seeing them struggling, decides to help and either talks the ghost down or soups them

In both cases he opens a portal to the realms and lets them go back through.

They talk a little, Danny as Danny introduces Infinite Realms ghosts as they are trying his best to figure out if they also want to hunt down ecto-entities. The JL member would want to learn more so they exchange information details just in case something like this happens again

Around this time, a JLD member gets wind of the new Important Ghost around the area and needs to find out more about them. After scouting around a little, he finds a way to summon what seems to be a young protective spirit who seems close to the Important Ghost.

Spoiler alert: the protective spirit and Important Ghost are both Danny. All the time travel stuff are attributed to Important Ghost and the beating up other ghosts who come near a specific place to protective spirit. Bonus points if there is a misunderstanding that Important Ghost is protective spirit's parent that's why they beat up Pariah Dark

So they summon Danny as Phantom to ask questions and eventually get the ok to summon him again just in case they need to know things, with the understanding that neither will hurt each other (the JLD member also has the vague idea of asking Phantom to bring Important Ghost over to their side if another worldending thing happenes again)

Soon enough, Danny as Danny meets one of the younger JL adjacent teams (Teen Titans or Young Justice when they're babies? Maybe even Damian's team that I don't know the name of? Maybe the Outlaws?) and helps them out against one of his rogues.

If it's the same dimension, Danny sees that they are younger superheroes and/or not as connected to the government as the older ones, so he warns them about the anti ecto acts and being careful since being so close to death is very slowly making them more liminal/if they're liminal then tells them to stay away from GIW

If not the same dimension then he just gets talking to them about ecto-entities and does basically the same thing as the first JL member he met, eventually exchanging contact information

This pattern continues for a while as Batman receives reports from whichever Robin about ecto-entities being a thing and either holding a meeting because of the anti ecto acts or because there is an entire species that could destroy all of us by possessing Superman and none of you JLD thought to inform me???

At this point of time, most of the JL has met and some even asked for his help and they talk about the various things they've learned from their Informant(Danny) and because it's Danny they slowly get a full picture of everything because he talked about obsessions with one person and cores to another and so on so forth

They all eventually come to the conclusion that they should ask for more details from their Informant

Cue Danny being bombarded by text messages of all the people he's helped asking him about the Realms while being summoned as Phantom.

[slavic-roots-western-mind]

Types of dumplings in China

Prior to my arrival to China, I only knew about wonton and jiaozi, which I assumed to similar to pelmeni.

As it turned out, there is no end to the variations of dumplings, so here are some of the most common dumplings in China that I've come across so far!

饺子 - jiǎozi These are thin veggie or meat filled dumplings, and they can be steamed, boiled or fried but I've only tried the steamed variety so far which is pretty tasty. They somewhat resemble pelmeni, but the tast is noticeably different.

馄饨 - húntún (wonton) These dumplings are similar to jiǎozi but thinner and they're usually eaten in soup.

生煎包 - shēngjiānbāo These are slightly crispy, fried dumplings usually with a pork-filling。

锅贴 - guōtiē These dumplings are the crispy-ish type, deep-fried and steamed with various fillings like veggies and meat.

水饺 - shuǐjiǎo They're quite similar to the 锅贴, but these dumplings are boiled (note the 水) without the frying.

小笼包 - xiǎolóngbāo These are steamed buns, usually filled pork but they can also have other fillings like veggies and seafood.

Honourary mentions： These aren't dumplings, but they're adjacent enough imo.

肉包子 - ròubāozi These are biggish steamed buns with a meat filling. I have these for breakfast and they're really good.

菜包子 - càibāozi Same as the ròubāozi, but with veggies and also pretty tasty.

If I missed any, let me know which ones as I'm always looking to try new things!

[loftec]

Hi, I saw you talking about your savory oats breakfast, and how much you love it, and I honestly didn’t understand how someone could be so excited about oatmeal? But I tried making it because I have mushrooms and wanted something warm and salty and HOLY WOW I totally understand you now, that was so freaking good. New breakfast unlocked.

I LOVE THIS I'm so happy to assist the unlocking of new breakfasts. Also, have two more random savoury oats recipes that I've cobbled together (I don't eat these for breakfast, oddly enough they feel more like lunches or dinners, but that's just because they're based on "full" dishes I normally make for dinner):

Loftec's oat cookbook part two, I guess 🍲

(Also sorry about starting this answer ages ago, putting it in the drafts and then never finishing or posting it! Until now!)

Oatotto

The bastard oat son of risotto, Italians avert your eyes!!

This is based on the risotto recipe I usually make, but takes a LOT less time when the rice doesn't have to cook. The risotto is obviously better because it's risotto, but this is a really good way to do some savoury oats.

Serves one 1 large mushroom 1 small onion (I use a shallot) Butter or oil for frying Thyme Splash of white cooking wine if you have it (Optional: zest of half a smallish lemon) 2,5 dl Water or stock, I use a mushroom soup base bouillon I happen to have right now, if I didn't have it I'd use water and 1/2 mushroom stock cube. Pepper 1 dl oats 1 tsp miso A pleasing amount of frozen peas Juice of half a lemon (or to taste of pre-squeezed juice, obviously it's nice with fresh lemon but bottled lemon juice is fine, we're making oats) 1 tbsp nutritional yeast (or some Parmesan-adjacent cheese if you have it! We're making oatotto!)

In a small pot, stir-fry the thinly sliced mushroom, chopped onion and thyme in some butter or oil on high heat until the onion is translucent. Add wine and lemon zest if you have it. Pour over water/stock and lower the heat once the stock has come to a boil. Pepper pepper pepper, and add oats. On lowest heat, let the oats cook and stir occasionally. Once it gets a bit gloopy, add miso and stir in, and then add the pleasing amount of frozen peas and lemon juice. Stir until peas defrost and the gloop reaches your desired consistency. Add yeast or cheeeeeeese!

カレーオーツ - Japanese Curry Oats

Serves one 1 large mushroom (it's a theme) 1 small onion (shallot) 1 small carrot Butter or oil to fry 2,5 dl water Pepper 1 dl oats 1 medium size finely chopped tomato 1/2 cube Japanese curry roux (I'm a Golden gal, I keep the open package wrapped in some extra plastic in the fridge, hasn't gone bad yet)

Halt! Do not finely slice the mushroom! This is a Japanese Curry, the mushroom should either be a larger number of whole TINY button mushrooms, or a larger mushroom chopped into 6 or 8 pieces. Very important! Roughly chop the carrot into bits that are the same size as the mushroom and cut the onion into slices lengthwise (these are my curry rules, you can make your own according to what comforts you).

Stir-fry mushroom, carrot and onion on high heat until onion becomes translucent. Add water and pepper, and bring to low heat. Add oats and stir occasionally while it cooks on lowest heat until it's almost done. Add the finely chopped tomato and the curry roux, stirr until the roux has dissolved, the tomato is warm and the gloop is good. Test and make sure the curry is good, if not enough curry add more curry roux.

I would garnish this with some baby mayo and aonori, and if you're feeling fancy and have it at home, shallow-fry some approximation to a schnitzel, slice and put on top. I have a bag of frozen vegan schnitzels in the freezer and I never know what to do with them besides putting them on a Japanese curry.

[jh-newman-opn]

I'm wondering what's the difference between Catholicism and other denominations, I know the main things are the pipe and the virgin Mary actually being respected, but I like to hear from someone whose passionate.

Also it's really funny to think someone going like "She's Jesus adjacent but she had an epidural from god so it's not that big a deal"

(I say godly epidural because how else is childbirth a silent night)

yoooo hello friend thank you for your message :))) assuming this is continuing in some sense from earlier things said whilst reblogging so I'm gonna approach it with that in mind

So there's two good ways of visualising the difference between various flavours of Christianity:

Firstly, as three paradigms, rather than specific Church Groups per se.

Catholicism is a unity-in-truth-variety-in-practice paradigm: we all believe the same things, united under one leader and a centralised way of forming beliefs. How exactly those beliefs are put into practice (eg in different liturgy styles) is more flexible, leading to a range of "rites".

Orthodoxy is a unity-in-practice-variety-in-beliefs paradigm: the liturgy and iconography and expression of the faith is critically important as practical modes of theology (much less written teaching than catholics!), and they have a sort of nebula of hierarchies that have variable relationships with each other and variable theological approaches to a given topic. Important to note that despite the slightly chaotic organisational structure, they have maintained almost exactly the same beliefs as Catholics, but verbalised differently, which leads people to think they're different beliefs (eg. Filioque, Dormition vs Assumption).

Protestantism is a non-unity-total-variety paradigm, wherein beliefs and practice are both determined on a micro-level, leading to a rather volatile structure where schism is common and somewhat expected-- practically speaking the laity get on with things without paying much attention to the schisms, forming what I affectionately call "the Protestant soup".

This paradigm problem broadly boils down to a problem of authority-- when there is a disagreement between two arguments (which may both be reasonably proven from scripture), who decides? and how can you trust the decision? We'd say that the Catholic Church continues to be guided infallibly by the Holy Spirit, just as the Church of the early centuries was guided to correct belief on 1) the trinity 2) the canon of scripture and 3) whether gentile converts should be circumcised. Protestants reject this but imho never came up with a convincing alternative, leading to the chaotic nature of the paradigm as a whole.

Secondly, and this is a biased opinion as someone who converted to Catholicism from a historically Protestant culture, it seems to me useful to consider how Protestant theology (paradigmatically) developed from Catholicism. I know it doesn't necessarily occur to people from Prot-majority countries that Catholicism is actually the default Christianity, and that they're the innovation, but it's a really elucidating realisation. You have to see Protestantism as inherently a reaction to Catholicism, and something that has to define itself in relation to Catholicism.

To summarise: the various strains of the Reformation (Calvinism, Lutheranism, Zwingliism, Anglicanism, etc) are all based off the assumption that Catholicism somehow had "too many" beliefs, that needed to be reduced to reveal a "purer" form of Christianity.

The truth is that while Catholicism seems very maximalist, and like it has a lot of "extra" things (saints, Marian devotion, feast days, confession, bigger bible, fasting practices, monastic charisms, etc etc etc), the truth is that all of these things form a very rich, interlocking system of theology, where every belief is dependent on every other belief. How you understand Mary's role as Theotokos is dependent on a correct understanding of Christ's dual nature, which depends on a rejection of Gnostic dualism, which then gives you a proper sexual ethic and an understanding of the Incarnation, which then links back to the Immaculate Conception, which gives you the Assumption, which explains why you need to go to confession before receiving the Eucharist, etc etc. It sounds a bit overwhelming but when it starts to fall into place you see that every single thing works in this tightly symbiotic ecosystem of doctrine, all of which works to magnify God. The "extra" things are enriching, not distracting.

So when you get the Reformation, and Protestants start subtracting things willy-nilly, the ecosystem starts to fall apart and mutate in strange ways. Protestant groups then separate and keep mutating based on what each one wants to subtract. The Anglican church is a good example of this-- they started by having Catholicism, but subtracting the idea that marriage is an unbreakable covenant (Henry VIII wanted a divorce). This leads to mutation in the understanding of marriage as a sacrament, leading to 2 sacraments rather than the traditional 7, which then nukes confession, holy orders, anointing of the sick, and confirmation. If you don't have holy orders, you lose the theology of the eucharist, which in a lot of Anglican churches is now seen as symbolic (or near enough). if you lose the real presence in the eucharist, your incarnation theology is now buggered. Similarly, as we were discussing in the other reblogs-- Calvinism and Lutheranism both lose the idea of indulgences, when then loses the idea of purgatory, which means you lose a proper understanding of sanctification (theosis), leading to once-saved-always-saved, meaning the Crucifixion, instead of being this great act of Love, is now a legal transaction of salvation, which reconfigures how guilt and contrition work, and which once again buggers your eucharistic theology because the emphasis on it as a one-time event means you've lost the mystical and constant resonance of calvary through all time. All of this then knocks onto how you build churches-- the altar is now no longer front and centre, because the Old Testament sacrifice is not present anymore, so you have a big-ass pulpit and the service is centred around preaching, not around the sacrifice of the Mass. Ironically, though the Reformers aimed to have a more Christ-centric Christianity, the change in how they fundamentally do church services illustrates exactly how you actually end up with a man-centric church that puts Christ off to the side. And that's not even getting into how Luther removed books from the Bible to support his own theology.

I would say that the continuous nature of Catholicism (and Orthodoxy, to a lesser extent) from a) the Judaism of the Old Testament and b) the church of the first few centuries is really very critical. John Henry Newman's Essay on the Development of Doctrine is the seminal work on this (very readable, 100/10 would recommend). The sacramental priesthood is a continuation of the Levitical priesthood, the sacrifice of the mass is the fulfilment of Temple sacrifice (SUPER important in the OT-- the Torah goes on for pages and pages and pages about it), the Pope is the continuation of figures such as Moses and David, who are also Christ-types. I've got a friend converting to Catholicism from Orthodox Judaism and she keeps pointing out to me similarities that I didn't even know existed. On the Early Church-- you'll see a lot of quote-mining from both sides, but the key points that are really indisputable are 1) the idea that the bread and wine literally transform in some mystical way and 2) that the Church is united in an episcopal structure, with an emphasis on Rome as primus inter pares (the first among equals). What exactly this second point entails is why the East and West split-- my view is that the current fiasco in Moscow proves that the Pope is necessary but that's another essay-length post.

Doctrinally of course there's a lot of haggling over specifics eg. the Virgin Mary, soteriology, eucharistic theology, etc etc etc and my impression is that Protestants generally try to justify their beliefs in two ways: 1) Rome is entirely wrong and we're not related to them in any way (really low church baptists, anabaptists, pentecostals, etc) or 2) Rome is wrong but also we believe the same things as Rome and are completely different to stereotypical Protestants (anglicans, lutherans, presbyterians). Both of these approaches IMO demonstrate the truth of Catholicism, because group 1 are just demonstrably so far away from OG christianity that they cannot reasonably argue that they're more authentically Christian than Catholics-- at best these two are equally bad and group 2 seem to implicitly know that Rome is right, because they justify themselves by disavowing anything that isn't ostensibly Catholic and allying themselves with Catholic beliefs as much as possible. The truth is that we can get really bogged down in the specific details of oh Calvin actually said this or maybe Augustine actually meant that, but it doesn't really matter when the overall paradigmatic approach is so far removed from the first 1500 years of Christianity. The idea that you can have multiple churches believing different things and all being equally authentically Christian is a total invention of the Reformation, and quite frankly, a disservice to the lay faithful who didn't ask to be bogged down in all of this anyway.

Finally, to round off this abhorrently long answer to your question (apologies!!!)-- sacramentality and the concrete motion of grace are really important concepts. For Catholics, the motion of God's grace and divine action are really concrete things. Grace comes through the sacraments, which are literally what they say they are. Mary appears sometimes and tells us things. Miracles literally happen. The saints are part of our community and you can talk to them and ask them for things. Their bones are pieces of that which is holy. The action of God is a very real and close part of the practice of the lay Catholic that can be studied and analysed in quite a scientific manner (look up how the Vatican approves miracles, for example!), and which the lay person interacts with in the same way they'd interact with any other part of their life. There's a quote from someone (Eamon Duffy??) that goes something like: for the mediaeval Catholic, Purgatory, Heaven, and Hell were places as real as Canterbury or Dover. Part of the Protestant paradigm involves spiritualising: Christ is not bodily present in the Eucharist, but spiritually, the saints are just any and all Christians, and heaven stays in heaven until you get there yourself. It's partly why Newman argues that this kind of spiritualised belief naturally tends towards atheism-- it's lost the sense of hard reality.

Hope that's at least somewhat helpful-- as I say, you can get bogged down in long lists of where beliefs differ, but I think given the rather broad and variable nature of Protestant beliefs, it's unhelpful to try to distill them down into A List. Similarly, because Catholic beliefs are so interdependent, it's really difficult to make the case for one belief without bringing in other parts of the network, which is why Prot-Cath dialogue often ends up going in circles quoting scripture or the church fathers and nobody wins. Feel free to ask further about anything if you can face another long answer (probably won't be quite as long as this!), and god bless you. I'll say a Hail Mary for you to find whatever it is that you need to find.

[sunny-reis]

같이 꿈을 꾸고 싶어 - dream with you

pairing: huh yunjin x reader

synopsis: an *actually* short oneshot about escapism and yunjin

tags: gender-neutral reader but all of this is implied to be sapphic to some extent (girl in red mentions 🤯). i don't know interpret it as whatever. extremely descriptive paragraphs abt the setting and yunjin? gay as hell. reader lives and goes to college in massachusetts. don't ask why (i do not know. have fun going to mit i guess.)

word count: 932

author's note: YURRRRR i wrote this half-asleep and feeling sapphic as FUCKKKKK enjoy

“massachusetts is such a stupid place to go to college.”

you raise a curious eyebrow at the comically focused yunjin splayed across your far-too-small dorm bed, flipping mindlessly through one of the many books you possess with scrunched eyebrows and a strawberry lollipop in hand. the small speaker perched atop the bedframe plays your “chill” playlist on shuffle at a relatively loud volume as your roommate isn't present, the strumming of an acoustic guitar and her unabashed humming filling the room amid the quiet. it’s a comfortable silence, nothing but the occasional flip of a page from yunjin, the scribbling (and rub of an eraser) from you, the soft pitter-patter of the rain on the window adjacent to your bed, and girl in red.

“and why is that?” you ask. all she gives you is a shrug.

“the drive to see you is stupidly long, and honestly? boston isn't even that interesting of a city to be worth it.”

“not even to see me?”

“yeah, no,” she elbows you with a small giggle, “definitely not.”

you roll your eyes, shaking your head and looking back at your notebook. the colorful pastel stationery strewn all over your table does nothing to give the illusion of a put-together student; you sigh, folding your arms and laying your head down. there's no use focusing on work when you're so distracted. by what, you can't pinpoint, but it must have something to do with the way yunjin’s humming is all you can hear and the way her hair falls over her shoulder barely covered by the flannel she has on. it definitely isn't the way marks on her nose stand out despite the bright makeup on her face, or the way her glasses sit too perfectly on the bump or her nose, or the way her cheeks flush a rosy pink when she looks up to see you lost in her eyes.

her presence slips into every crack and crevice in your heart.

“‘whatcha looking at?” she asks. you blink, devoid of any thought for a short while until she waves a puzzled hand in front of your eyes, snapping you out of your trance.

“hello? earth to [y/n], you there?” you nod, sitting up to match the yunjin now resting her head on her arms on your desk. she stares up at you, eyes starry and wide; many say they're the windows of the soul, but right now, you're unable to tell a thing. it's terrifying – you swallow the thought that she may be weirded out by your not-so-subtle starstruck, longing gazes.

yunjin stands up after a moment of silence, stretching her arms and suppressing a yawn. you check the analog clock on the wall that reads 6:43.

“we should go get dinner, i’m so hungry i can't focus.” you say, clearing your throat. she gives you a small smile.

“i was just about to say that! i’m starving.”

“i’ll drive.” yunjin nods. you don't need words to say you’re going to your special place, a small cafe a 15-minute drive away from campus. neither of you are impartial to making the short walk in the rain, but it's always been a tradition of yours to drive and listen to the same music on the same route.

the rain stops by the time the two of you get your food (a cup of tomato soup and crackers for you, and a turkey-ham sandwich with extra cheese for yunjin – it's always been the same. of course, the two of you always end up getting snacks from the food hall anyways, but there's sentiment to the consistency). unlike before, though, you decide to eat at the park; and so here you are, rocking on the uncomfortably small rubber swings and conversing peacefully amid the handful of children messing around on the playground. it's filling, how content yunjin looks – your crackers are left untouched as you catch yourself staring at her again, unable to break free of the captivating siren’s song of her humming and serenity.

“penny for your thoughts?” she asks abruptly, clearly having caught onto the cacophany in your head. you hate it when she does that.

“not much, i guess.” you shrug.

“oh come on, don't give me that,” she raises an eyebrow, “i’ve known you for years, you can't hide from me.”

“i dunno, i guess i'm just … turbulent?” and there begins the monologue.

everything pours out. yunjin watches, face falling at the harsh words you use to demonize yourself for feeling the way you do; falling in love isn't a crime, no matter whether your feelings are reciprocated or not. she holds back the urge to laugh at the way you neglect to think about her feelings. there are so many fleeting gazes and sleepless, longing-filled nights you haven't seen – she feels the exact same as you.

after your spiel and a number of apologies, yunjin clasps your hands in hers. your eyes widen, looking down as if avoiding her gaze will soften the blow.

“stop tearing yourself down for being human, [y/n]. i promise you, even if i didn't feel the same, it wouldn't be worth punishing yourself for being in love!” she cries, grasping your now-shaking hands tighter. she continues, wiping the occasional tear that falls from your eyes with a soft touch. she's never appeared to be an angel, a heavenly being, more than she does now.

words aren't needed to express how giddy you are when she spells out her feelings for you, topping it all off with a small kiss on the nose.

[gaypolls]

ok i just said it doesn't really bother me but i do wanna rant a little bc it's SO insane to claim that you're only a real homosexual if you've never felt an ounce of attraction to ANYONE but your own gender... as though True Attraction is easily defined and quantifiable for everyone? as though gendered attraction is in and of itself something that involves some essence of other people's genders or whatever and not just what you percieve???

think of how many twinks have mistaken for butches and vice versa lmao. is everyone involved in those funny little mixups not a real gay anymore? hell, what about gay people in the closet who can't quite accept their attraction to their own gender yet but their "type" of the "appropriate" gender is effeminate guys/tomboys? if someone wants to enter the gay identity do they absolutely HAVE to renounce all past attraction to the "opposite" gender as fake? why? says who? why would it not be enough to say "i'm significantly happier and feel more natural embracing attraction to, and being with, my own gender"?

like yeah, personally, i do deem the attraction that i used to think i had for women as fake. but i'm an incredibly self-aware and self-analytical and generally In My Head person. i can look in there and see the throughline and know the exact reason i thought i liked girls, and hell, i can even remember the conscious thoughts i had where i was forcing myself to feel it. but i do NOT expect everyone to be the same?? like that would be insane. if everyone was as self-aware as me, specifically. that's not healthy lol.

but anyway, on that same vein, repression and the closet are seriously powerful things. there may have been a layer of conscious attempt to be masculine in the mix, but when i was 16 and searching for things to appreciate in girls' appearances and, because i was trying so hard, sometimes finding them, and acheiving that abstract feeling of attraction that i was looking for... would it really be SO insane if i now wanted to say that yes, i have been attracted to women, and i just got over it?

when i say that i'm not attracted to women now, that doesn't even mean that i have never been attracted to a single woman. it means that womanhood and femininity does not inherently appeal to me. that's where "exceptions" come in - it's literally not that deep. it's when you recognize that you're feeling something, and maybe you're unsure but it seems at least attraction-adjacent, but it's not related to the prerequisite of gender that's usually on your capacity for attraction; it's in spite of it. i have to imagine that the majority of the time when this happens, it's because the person is in fact somewhat androgynous, or some part of you percieved this person as the gender you do like when you weren't conscious of it, or there's some aspect of their appearance that has the right gendered "energy" to you. and sometimes people just look really fucking interesting, or people are just excpetionally beautiful, and it hits you so hard that it seems like attraction but you're really just in a brief moment of awe! sometimes you just enter the cosmic soup for a second!

and feeling superior about having never had this happen to you is... well, it's just that, isn't it? it's purely about feeling superior. i honestly don't even believe that it's truly the case for that one person. i feel like the internal need to say shit like that has got to come from an insecurity about the fact that you're not that "true homosexual" that you're claiming deserves to never be implied to have things in common with all other gay people.

furthermore... the notion of it being homophobic to identify as gay when you're "not 100% internally homosexual"? well i mean obviously that's the terf shit. it's the braindead idea that other people's identities take anything away from you. as if anyone actually identifies as gay "when they're actually bi" just for fun and not because their "straight" attraction is extremely incidental and/or just does not preclude actually acting on it... like duh, lol. and even if it was for fun, it literally still takes nothing. it's a completely imaginary danger.

and it's so batshit in particular bc going out of your way to harass other gay people and tell them they're not gay is objectively the fucking homophobic thing??? like how on earth do you see yourself as the better person here. christ lol

[eepuniverse]

Hexel's World Tour Week 6 – Seoul

Everyone, I'm home. I know it sounds so cliche, but the moment I got off the plane in Seoul, I felt like I was coming home🇰🇷❤️. I already knew I could speak Korean, so getting through the airport and to the main city was a breeze (but can we talk about Incheon airport? It is so cool. I could literally spend a whole day at just the airport). I quickly got to my hotel in the middle of Seoul and it is way too nice. I feel like an imposter staying here hahaha.

There are some parts of the city that feel so familiar to me, even though I can't fully remember them. One day, I ended up just walking instinctively to this hole-in-the-wall kalgooksu restaurant and had the best noodle soup ever! 🍜(or I think it's the best I've ever had. It also felt so familiar!) Another place that felt super familiar was Dongdaemun and the Design Plaza. It kind of looks like a spaceship, but I knew exactly where to exit the subway station to get there. It was like instinct. The markets in Dongdaemun are so nice! They have so much fashion and accessories 👗 it was all so overwhelming. But I was able to buy gifts for Georgia while I was there

Talking about cool shops, I just wandered around Insadong for like half a day. There are so many side streets with cafes and small shops that you wouldn't even know were there unless you went to explore. From Insadong, I ended up walking to Bukchon traditional village. Both Insadong and Bukchon are known for their traditional hanok houses. And you all, I could LIVE in one of these. They're so beautiful and smell amazing like wood and paper! I found a place in one of these hanok houses called Aromind which lets you design your own perfume scent! It was so cool and I made one for Krista (hope she likes it!) 🎁

I also wrote down all the food places I loved to go with Dustin if we ever come to Seoul together, including this place that does bbq ribs DIPPED 🍖🧀 in melted cheese and a jjajangmyeon place that handrolls their noodles! I wanted to get Dustin a whole package of Hanwoo--prime Korean BBQ beef (did you know you could buy those?!)--but I was worried about getting it through customs, also, it was a lot to ship back to the US. So I got Dustin some green tea from Ossulloc 🍵, I know it's not technically food, but it's food adjacent! And their tea house in Gwanhun-Dong was so gorgeous with all the traditional ceramics and the little displays about how the teas are roasted! Plus, they're right by Jogyesa Buddhist Temple. They told me Jogyesa is the chief temple of the Jogye Order of Korean Buddhism. The building dates back to the late 14th century! And you can write your wish on a piece of paper and hang it like a little flag. All the wishes fluttering in the air were so beautiful!

I didn't mean to organize my tour around Seoul based on buying the perfect gifts for my friends, but it turned out that way. So I knew I had to find something amazing for Mac, and I did in Gangnam! That neighborhood kind of reminds me of midtown New York with all the skyscrapers and the fancy hotels and buildings. They have the flagship store to this amazing sunglasses store called Gentle Monster. But they don't just sell sunglasses, they also have amazing art displays that the store clerk told me rotates regularly! In fact, lots of the cool high fashion stores do fun artsy displays in Seoul! From there, I just popped over to Lotte World Tower and bought ALL the duty free skincare! I can't wait to try all my facemasks with the band! Apparently Lotte World Tower is the tallest building in South Korea. And they even have an aquarium in there!

[blogofloathing]

Parts 1 of 1, Gillian B And The Unruly Interviewee

After a less than polished bus ride we arrived to the equally less than polished slums of Porkham,

I'd say it looked better in my day, except I wouldn't know, I grew up in a more respectable area.

Adjusting my trusty driving cap, spiffy bow tie, and affirming these good looks with my crew.

we set off, according to my media guy fishing is popular this time of year, so why not cash in?

Being careful to avoid nails and trash (human or otherwise) on our meandering way to the bridge,

wherein todays interviewee was apparently living.

In my opinion he should just get a job and maybe contribute to society? But that's not "kind" or "empathetic" according to my trusty cameramen.

Stepping into the clearing we see exactly what I had feared, I was hoping we had bad intel.

Yet lo and behold, a stubble ridden homeless sat adjacent to us, probably high out of his mind.

"Mm.. oh! Hey! Yall are here for the interview?" He shouted over to us, well, to say he raised his voice would be a lie, but that was certainly the intent.

Our cameras focused shakily on the dirty hobo we have unfortunately decided to question today.

My mic man stood just a bit too close, so that every word spoken slightly blasted the audio.

I'm sure someone can make it sound good later,

"we are go in 3, 2.." holding up one finger for the last call, before miming an inaudible "go".

And giving our cameras the signal to proceed, they ask him the first of many questions.

"Mm'well when you're fishing in sketchy spots ya gotta specialize" he mumbled, gesturing to the tackle box, though it's more of a tackle lunch box

The camera zooms in as he pulls out a wriggling gummy worm, sugar dusting its exterior.

Christ how on earth is that thing moving, "mm them gummy worms grow near rivers"

"Makes em self supplyin" he walks us through, as our whole team takes a step or two back.

"Mm I think somea them barbecue fellas put somethin in the water over there.."

Glancing over to the stream, which looked more like a pot of soup full of garbage than a river.

Maybe interviewing this gross hobo was a mistake. Certainly I'll be taking a bath after this,

But for the sake of journalism, we let him go on

"Makes so they're good for catchin them colorful fishies, f'miliar sight for em" indeed the worm was bedazzled in a rainbow of striped colors

Enough to make my head hurt just looking at it.

Though none of my crew has ever heard of any kinda rainbow fish, probably some new drug the homeless are taking, and we wonder why the city is trying to stamp out these kinds of people!

"Mm'infact I got onea them on my line right now,"

our cameraman panning quickly over to the hobos fishing pole, propped up against some rocks.

The line was limp for the time being, that is to say if it would ever actually be pulled by something other than garbage, (excluding the man himself.)

Christ thank god we're not live right now, we can have whatever-his-name-is edit that out later

"Mm, oh! An' here's some more from my stash" he pipes up with subdued surprise, a fuzzy worm covered in spines was crawling up his arm, "they're s'posed to be poisonous but I f'gure you let em do what they do, they go fine"

"These are good for catchin them walkin fishies, mm'paralyzes their muscles," he explained, flexing his fingers loosely before constricting them tightly

Then sighing with a noticeably disappointed tone, "people are way too hesitant 'bout fish legs, I tell em they're just like frog legs, but I guess they don't much like those neither.."

Personally I can't see a world where I or anyone on my team eats that, but of course let's remember they're not like you and me.

"ahh here's one'a my favorites," he grunts, pulling out a large bag full of sickly bright red worms.

"Onea them groups of chemical guys dyed some kids hair in the river and plumb contaminated this whole bag," shaking them in our face

And sure enough there could be faint spots of pink vaguely seen under the thick scarlet glaze.

"Mm'but whatever's in em makes the fishies go all crazy," he explains, shaking his hands wildly in the air to demonstrate this apparent frenzy.

"They dye your tongue red for a good while when ya eat em though, mm'sooo if that ain't your style I can't sell ya on em" placing it back down where it immediately stained the ground scarlet.

I'm forced at this point to give my team a glare of disapproval, some of them seeming far too genuinely interested in what this hobo had to say.

They look sheepish for a moment at my face, but then continue looking past me at him.

Really I don't see what use there is in listening to stuff like this, I'm only here for content.

"Mm'I don't know how I hook thesen's but I do an' they fetch pretty good" he mumbles tacitly.

Holding up what appeared to be a pile of loose integers in vaguely the shape of a squiggly line.

Wriggling and moving in a way that didn't account for any sort of connections or reason.

My whole team taken aback at once says "what on earth??" quietly in united confusion. Before then looking at each other in mirrored disbelief.

despite having no possible way to crawl the way it does, making a gentle journey along his arm.

Coming to a rest at his shoulder where he picks it up, somehow, "mm'I expect this's due to runoff from the math guys dumpin their old equations in the water" expecting us to understand any of that.

"But them educated fishies really love em, maybe they're tryna solve em or somethin" he says with a reverent little chuckle, though it's more of a cough.

The unsightly man continues excitedly showing us various worms, giving exaggerated and showy gestures for each presentation.

As if his hands are the actual ones being asked.

"Don't even get me started on them spider worms! Haha, mm'just kiddin, please do"

I'm positively sick with boredom but I have been forced by my team not to leave.

Until thankfully, salvation arrives at last when he appears to reach the end of his last show & tell.

Putting various worms(?) Back into containers, and a quick check to the continuously light line.

"Well thank yall kindly for- Vic! Vic get on over here I'm gonna be on the television!" He shouted suddenly, eyeing an unseen figure behind us.

My heart sank sickeningly, he was right about to bid us a good day, we were so damn close! And..

A possibly even dustier hobo, girl? Waltzes over to us, Jesus Christ it just keeps getting worse.

"Yo! Walt! You're famous eh? Gettin the big bucks?" the two laugh heartily, "see I told ya you're fishin would take off you old sot" she teased loudly.

They chit chat for a beat, with me continuing to shuffle backwards, much to my crews chagrin.

I'm silently begging my cameras to let me leave with my wallet intact before it catches sight of me

The urgent tugs at my boom operators sleeve going unnoticed save for a bemused look.

"Hey! Wanna ask me some stuff! Give me some free stuff?" She bursts into my world unwelcome.

Seemingly moved on from the dirty man, onto me.

For a moment I try to pretend as if not having noticed her, but fate did not hold the cards for me.

"Cmonnnn I know you're one of them big shots you got cash" her bushy eyebrows turned at an almost impossible angle, no wonder she looked mannish.

Signing didn't seem to work, as expected with the uneducated, but even my perfectly clear refusal to answer was left disregarded by this girl.

"Psh, figures you uppercrusts think you're too good to talk to me" she sneered derisively.

I tentatively waved to one of my crewman, whom seemed wholly preoccupied with the fisherman,

The shows over! What is there to talk about? My pleas yielded no results, I was fully on my own.

"What's with ya? You talk?" Her intense eyes bore holes into my own, attempting to take a look behind them in a quite uninvited intrusion.

Ugh these types are always so pushy, I swear I don't know why I agreed to do this.

As she pressed her face more closely to mine I could feel her gross, warm breath

Like the smog of a smokestack, clinging to my skin and hair in a sickeningly sticky way

"Hellooooo is anybody home Mr Rich?" Her words poked, knocking the glass of a terrarium to make me dance, managing only to startle me further

My discomfort is reaching its peak and I'm nearly made to give the emergency sign to my crew,

When the hobo girl reaches her hand out to touch me again, my skin prickling in irid anticipation.

And Inexplicable even to myself, a tear sparkled dully in my eyes, which were presently pressed together, as if I'd disappear if I couldn't see her.

This would surely be the end of my career, she would know.. I could feel everyone's eyes on me

And indeed the look on her face told me the gears were turning, some remnant of social awareness ticked around echoey in her hollow dome.

Gillian Barlows A Sissy surely what the headline would read, they'd be right, and that would be it.

These newspaper ghosts flapped hauntingly in my head like a flock of my worst anxieties.

Of circling vultures primed to take a strike at me any moment, the wilting journey of my egos end.

Before my cameraman, who must have finally noticed my situation, stepped between us.

Reforming the barrier I had been trying to keep hold of, that this girl had ripped it up.

"I'm sorry ma'am but you're gonna have to step back" a stern but not unkind order, his voice soothingly final, as if he was just stating the facts.

Equally putting to rest my growing discontent, "eh? Awww cmon you interviewed Wal-" she started, wildly gesturing In the other hobos direction.

"Ma'am we have a very concise schedule, and please refrain from touching our host." He retorted firmly, the rest of my crew standing nearby as well.

His hand nested on my shoulder as he said it

The lot of them were towers of men, acting as body guard and camera crew in unison

Pillars of my kingdom who kept the gates guarded

Standing (in no uncertain terms) a harsh contrast to my otherwise quite stubby figure.

We shared a quick look, his half smirk telling me don't worry, I've got you, as he continued the contentious chat with this random girl.

"Well- ugh fine! Take your chintzy camera cats somewhere else!" She expleted, giving our cameras a rude hand gesture before storming off.

"I'm too good for your lil TV shit anyway, hacks!"

Kicking a can into the lake that had been in her way, though I didn't hear the sound it made.

My ears were still plugged shut by the awful dripping fear that enveloped me at the ordeal,

I couldn't let someone see me like that, least of all someone like her, this was a mistake.

Breathing growing heavier, and knees weaker, the weight of this pressure primed to knock me over.

This is stupid, getting so worked up over someone like her, but despite all principles, the gnawing feeling in my gut was unwilling to accept reality.

I felt floaty and tingly, like I was on the brink of a faint, of losing my balance completely and falling..

Right into the strong arms of my cameraman, who had already set the camera down a ways away.

"Were you still rolling? Did you get it?" I whispered in a strained voice, almost inaudibly.

He shushed me, carrying me over to the rest of my crew, setting me down easy next to them.

I felt so comfortable being held by him, like he always knew exactly where he was going.

"Hey boss! We's were talking to the fisherman, and he gave us some fish on the house!"

My mic operator excitedly informed me, holding up a shockingly good looking salmon.

The man had been teaching us how to identify a real good salmon and well, there it is

Its tail fins were pronounced without being floppy, and the scales shone like glass or crystal.

My expression evidently spoke volumes how did he catch that "guess he had some right ideas"

Smirked my mic man, inviting an exaggerated eye roll from me, though I couldn't help but agree.

"Anywho! Let's get a move on Gill!" he sprang matter o factly, also springing me onto my feet.

"here G" my other cameraman said, his chill demeanor contrasting so that it made me giggle.

Waving to the whole crew, who all took me up into their arms in turn, lifting me almost effortlessly.

Linking together to create a proper seat for me to rest in, even if I did feel a little silly.

A mobile throne of sorts, to lead the charge.

"What say we all go for drinks?" My mic man suggested, looking around at the rest of us.

Who all nodded in approval "then let us go!" My cameraman said resolutely,

I signed a clumsy "but what about the interview?"

"we can edit the footage later" he spoke directly to me "let's go have some fun"

These affirmations, bringing back to life a smile, informing my unending confidence around them.

I didn't say anything, but I pointed forward in a mock gesture of commencement.

Each member of my crew pointing in turn, as I lead the group, captain at the helm.

Maybe they were right, I could use a bit of a wind down more often to cool the nerves.

As long as it means more time spent with these idiots, I could see.. some time off.

"To TV! To Drinks! To Gillian!!" The whole gaggle chanted, yelling my name with especial vigor.

[hussyknee]

Does reading a lot of books "count" if they're all only popular light-read novels? As opposed to classics and literary fiction and whatever 600-page in-betweens are called. I can tear through all of Cat Sebastian (who's either hit or very, very miss for me) before I can pick up, like, Sharon Kay Penman, even though they're both popular historical novellists, because SKP's are about real historical figures and wars where a lot of horrible things happen to people. So of course my brain is convinced that SKP's novels "count" more than CS's, because it only counts if you have to struggle through an emotional morrass that makes you feel glad to live in climate collapse because at least nobody is sticking people's heads on spikes anymore.

This is also why I can only stand well back from literary fiction and poke it with a stick like I'm waiting for rats and snakes to jump out because, afaik, most of them are about people being sad and ruminating on the Human Condition. I don't get why I have to read about that, given I'm a sad person who's trapped in the Human Condition.

(I sometimes think the people that write these things are either so removed from the unwashed masses that they can look at them like a science experiment or five inches from offing themselves at all times. Presumably some of them are those mythical Normal People who have somehow emerged from the existential soup without any mental illnesses. Idk. How tf do you write fiction about real human pain that isn't even self-indulgent whump fic? I'm still trying to recover from having read Ninety-One Whiskey four years ago.)

You'd think the solution would be to just read some escapist fantasy, except the serious non-YA adjacent stuff that get submitted for Hugo awards (or Netflix and HBO adapations that shit all over the source material) are also about Bad Things Happening To People. I suppose this is better than white Christian manifest destiny bullshit like Lord of the Rings* where Bad Things Only Happened to Boromir, whose fans are the kind of people who think Gone With The Wind is a literary classic instead of Ku Klux Klan propaganda or people like me who are pathologically obsessed with conservative white bullshit**. And yet have I ever picked up NK Jemisin, who seems to be for all intents and purposes the queen of decolonial high fantasy? Of course not. Better to bear that media where Bad Things Only Happen To Imbibers Of This Racist Bullshit, than fly to others Where Bad Things Happen To The Characters that we know not of***.

It's really fucking hard to be extremely mentally ill and have OCD that won't let you DNF stuff that bores and distresses you and makes you think anything that lets you have safe, happy fun is just easy mode riffraff of no nutritional value.

***Still trying to figure out where Guy Gavriel Kay fits in. Without, you know, just reading the damn books.

**Tbh the reason conservative white bs is so appealing is because conservatives genuinely believe in the Just World theory. They rationalize the chaos of reality by assuming that the world used to make sense and work the way it should until Bad People happened to it, and it can be restored to its rightful glory if we can just root out all the shit that upended the old order. That's fascism in a nutshell and why its so deeply seductive even to people suffering under it.

*No, I'm not going to explain why LoTR is smuggling white supremacy. Y'all care more about defending the intentions of white men living in the fading era of the British empire than understanding how they could possibly have internalised white Christian supremacy that informs their writings about Fair, Enlightened Folk of the West yearning for a mythical past where they reigned supreme. Figure it out.

[ask-majoko-and-pals]

It's Rye time.

I've decided to try make a top breads/bread dishes of the week thing (even if some of these aren't breads, but according to Majoko and Hack, are "bread-adjacent")

10: Atrocity Sandwich. Molasses, honey, marmalade, and peanut butter are very good at sealing in a sandwich stuffed with a gooey texture. Consider it payback for our school years, Lucibelle. 2/10, incredibly petty move on my part, but not particularly harmful.

9: School cafeteria whole wheat roll. Not super good, but not terrible. They're baked en mass as part of necessity. 5/10, average.

8: Majoko's gingerbread cookies. I know they're cookies, but she said it's in the name, which is why it's ranking so low. The cookies themselves were good, but the chocolate was discolored. Hack did say they were the only good gingerbread they've ever eaten, so that's got to account for something. 6/10, not bread, but still good.

7: Galatea's cucumber sandwich. Not too bad, but she cut them up really small, and the bread didn't hold up too well because of the wet things (cucumbers, mayo, etc) in the sandwich. 7/10, good but wet bread.

6: Curry with toast. A student from Galar told me about it. They burnt the bread a little, but it's the thought that counts sometimes. 7/10, the bitterness of the burnt toast added something I thought was good, but that's just me.

5: Dante's ??? Bread. Majoko said he found the recipe on KlingKlok, but he must've done something weird to it. It looked huge, and the crust was crispy, but the inside had giant air pockets in it. 7/10, better than it looks.

4: Homemade sourdough rye. My mom called from home and asked if I could come over the weekend and make some. Turns out she really did name me after the bread. 8/10 for the naming story.

3: Croissant from Patisserie Soapberry. Galatea and Majoko insisted I go along with them to try it even though I get a bag whenever I'm there. I guess they just wanted to see me rate it on this list. 8/10, Super buttery, but not the real thing from Kalos.

2: Banana bread from Majoko's grandma. All I can say is that I want the recipe. 9.9/10, the only downside is that it arrived frozen, but I'm frankly impressed it tasted that good.

1: SOURDOUGH RYE BREAD BOWL WITH CORN CHOWDER. This is the best bread bowl and soup combo of all time, and I will battle anyone who says otherwise. It is my favorite. Hack also loves it. I made it for lunch for them and I think I'm going to do it every week now. 11/10 best bread bowl and soup combo, made Hack smile.

[theseventhoffrostfall]

Back to Through Struggle, the Stars, and the second half of the book (yeah, all that prior was the first half) opens with a chapter that's such a marked improvement over all that came prior I was briefly convinced that the author wrote the first half years ago and just kept it as-is when he went on to finish it, or brought on some other military-adjacent friend to ghostwrite it or something. That is to say it rose to the dizzying heights of okay for the most part.

We switch to an Acadamy buddy of our guy Niel, who goes by Rand. Again, accurate, as military personnel are known for using first names exclusively. Regardless, Rand is in the Army as an artillery officer (don't ask why he went to the same academy as some space force navy guy). We get a brief mention that surface-to-orbit laser artillery has a secondary sighting laser for analyzing atmospheric disturbance and adjusting the focus of the main laser. I'm almost 100% certain that wouldn't solve the problem, but hey, it's proof that the author is aware the problem exists.

The war which was declared at the end of the first half has finally broken out proper, and Rand is stationed on a world consisting of one American continent with the rest under Chinese control, which some of you may recall is the sort of arrangement that's common in my primary Sci fi setting specifically for making more sense than every planet being under unilateral control. Randward is forced to ditch his guns as most of his battalion is wiped out. The order comes to surrender, because it turns out it's hard to argue with 70% of a planet plus an enormous invasion fleet that's claimed near-total aerospace superiority so his surviving platoon members link up with the remnants of the local police department to Red Dawn it. I'm as shocked as you are they didn't outright call it Yellow Dawn.

It's even mentioned that the Chinese plan to round up the American colonists and ship them off to an American holding to be repatriated, rather than putting them in death camps or making them into wet market soup or something, so there's even some actual restraint being shown here. Unfortunately, that moment is also what shook me out of that illusion of "Hey, this is so not-bad it might be a different author entirely." The perspective switching abruptly, jarring and completely unmarked and undifferentiated between third person limited and third person omniscient (like, perhaps, a news article switching from an interview to an editorial section providing information and context on the situation around that interview) has been present thus far, but it's just always been the smallest of the vast problems in play. The information about the Chinese plan for the planet comes jammed right in the middle of the narrative of Rand fighting the initial invasion.

Overall, I rate this chapter a GWOT/Y2K. It really is a 2011 time capsule if you know what to look for, to perhaps a greater degree than the rest of the book. Most notably because they're starting a Red Dawn gang and this was not long after they made that terrible Red Dawn remake, but more generally conventional invasions are shown as a swift, brutal, all-or-nothing blitzkrieg that would make sense to someone whose idea of such is Desert Storm, OIF, operations like Panama or even the conventional aspects of Vietnam (yeah people like to forget that basically every conventional engagement in Iraq, Afghanistan and Vietnam were quick and decisive US victories) but makes much less sense in the context of actual peer conflict as we've seen it play out historically, where from Normandy to Korea we see a burst of violence to establish a foothold and opportunistic rushes through breached lines but otherwise a steady, grinding back-and-forth advance. Again, Red Dawn was probably an influence, but it's perhaps interesting to think that we find a guerilla campaign in completely occupied territory to be a borderline romantic notion, as opposed to a strategically besieged, desperate holding action of conventional warfare, which we see as the grim nightmare it is.

Which is the other half of its datedness, in that everyone is shocked and appalled by the notion of the US forces on the planet surrendering, because that's just Not A Thing That's Done. Again, GWOT-era notion where the notion of going back to the negotiating table after a truce was called in a war was largely dead in favor of the idea that every war ends in a regime change and surrender of any kind is tantamount to absolute defeat forever. Everyone in this largely peacetime army that really has no living combat vets is just 100% willing to go to the absolute extremes to fight on for no particular reason (the civilians, everyone apparently knows because this information was once again between two paragraphs of in-character narration, will just be shipped off to American territory unharmed, and "help will arrive" is the sort of notion you get when you know you're in a story and the cavalry will show up grandly at the end, not when you're waging a losing war and just lost a planet) and this is despite the fact that America as the monopolar hegemon hasn't been the case for like a century at this point.

Hell, this dates it to both early in 2011, before America's de facto withdrawal from Iraq, and from I believe a few years later when that US naval vessel accidentally trespassed in IIRC Chinese waters and the crew was detained before being sent along. While this was a bit excessive (typically such incidents warrant the response of just escorting the intruding ship out of your territory, though detention is indeed within the rights of the encroached-upon party) I remember there being some intense backlash and anger at the crew "shaming the entire country" for, I dunno, not dying gloriously at their guns and defying all possible notions of obeying international law and justice just for the vague notion of not surrendering for any reason no matter how valid. This also dates it to before 2022 to present day, when half the country would respond to the notion of a war with China by espousing that China has traditional Christian values and opposing their conquest is a demonic money laundering scheme.

Overall, a standout chapter for being mediocre but interesting to analyze rather than just blandly fascinating but interesting to venomously critique. I don't wanna give anyone the wrong impression, though. This book is not The Devil Calls the Tune. This book is not Guard at The Gates of Hell. This book isn't even Dark Operator. On the seismograph of bad military science fiction this book has yet to shake the needle. It's just bad in a way that makes it interesting to break down rather than bad in a way that makes me want to kill the author with my bare hands. Believe it or not, I still haven't wanted to kill the author once.

Well, there's time for that to change, because the next chapter goes back to Neil. Back to the grind for me.

[smile-files]

So you have any headcanons for clover or any other iii character?

oooh yes!!!! i have been over some of these before... i mainly have headcanons for characters i kin, so clover especially!!!!! i might have headcanons for other ii3 characters but if i do i don't remember them lol

some (of my many) clover headcanons:

ace. arospec? like that weird thing i described, where she gets crushes but can just turn them off. biromantic :)

she/they. weird girl-adjacent gender

ashkenazi jewish (basically canon because 1. matzah ball soup and 2. i said so)

autism B))) special interest is lepidopterology (just like me for real)

i have the feeling their family is super unlucky and they're the one anomaly who ended up with luck

listens to rock music!!!!!!!!!!!!

avid badminton player :D

favorite colors are pink and yellow! also kins fluttershy from mlp. these two facts are totally unrelated

lots of people get crushes on her, or at least she thinks they do (she particularly thinks nickel likes her which he very much does not)

loooooves watermelon :]

since the box incident they've been pretty anxious - not for themselves, but for other people. they worry a lot about how their actions affect those around them

mary sue (affectionate)

some kind of inferiority-superiority complex/impostor syndrome. believes everyone loves her and that the world loves her (which in a way they do) but thinks she doesn't deserve it at all

friendly but shy. if you know what i mean. will not approach you but will talk to you if you approach them

daydreams and doodles a lot

loves to sing and play ukulele :DD

jack of all trades, master of none... (or so they think)

has never been sick/injured in her life (besides that one time she died)

wants to make the world a better and happier place!! wants everyone to be as lucky as they are!!! (go cheer factory!!!!!) <3

teenager. she's my age :)

has a flip phone. lol

gets inspired whenever they see anyone do anything at all

weird popular quiet art nerd kid at school. you know

gumi megpoid...

wants to be in a band

loves to skip and spin around!!! full of whimsy and joy

has never cursed and never will

doesn't know what to think about cabby and silver spoon. she relates to them? but also kind of dislikes them? but also kind of has crushes on them sometimes??

can't stand the cold

they don't celebrate easter but it's their favorite non-jewish holiday

doesn't celebrate st. patrick's day either. just thinks people are celebrating her lololol (i imagine her birthday is then but it works either way)

drinks milk a lot. like a lot. certified milk enjoyer

often talks in a babyish voice when with people she's comfortable with

yeah those are the ones i can think of right now B)) for some reason i feel lightheaded now B)))) lol

[boozeforblues]

Few Are The Dreams That Can Still Exist In The Harsh Light Of Day

Hotel balcony with a horrifying view I never knew you were surface level too Interviews with local media, that's some real "man on the street" shit Keep all your mendacities in a neat kit Lazy denials just to keep me complacent Say it's not a fib, but it's truth adjacent Your eyes tell the truth even when your mouth won't If you were thinking of going south, don't Identifying marks, his face paint and your tattoo The same one I paid for, this is too taboo Must be why it exists only in my mind A familiar story, dash after you dine Literally asking "who the fuck is this clown?" Probable cause, coming from the trunk is the sound Of irreparable harm, tarted up in a hoe dress Right on this goddamn sidewalk, no less Painting the worst picture, allow me to illustrate Bragging at the most inopportune time, the illest trait That a "you" can possess, play me for a fucking fool They're coming for all our reputations, I see you ducking too

We all accept our fates, but at different nonimal rates Encountering the part of my brain that my heart hates Incongruity reigns, I'm playing devil's advocate But only because he plays mine, convincing me I'm adequate When the truth is you stepped outside because I'm not Pretending we're friends but the relationship is fraught With entendres of every conceivable multiplier Sharing recipes for the crock pot or air fryer To drown out the obvious, move on while I sit crippled And finally settled on the entendre being tripled I'm too goddamn clever for my own good A mouth unrestrained but still the tone could Be subdued for the benefit of all parties Unwrapping roll after roll of Smarties In failed attempts to center my thoughts The same way that I entered the aughts

Waking up in the worst of moods, thanks to my own stealth thoughts And not your actions, coming up short of the twelfth spot Cut from the team and I'm still bleeding Strut some wha—scream and I'm ill, needing Soup and a good book, curl up with a tome of lies A volume in the anthology, call it the home of spies Dispatched to document our every move, haggard and unwell An ill-equipped watcher, staggered in hotels Forgotten trinkets leave me dehydrated Overpriced tequila ensures that we gyrated To the sounds of nothing more than our own heartbeats A masquerade to the end, we're part saints and part cheats Furthering our goals of survival, despite the statistics Dismissing conspiracy theories based on the ballistics Fronting like a weapons expert when all I know are these fists Just a few winks away from teased trysts But I've never been one for sharing, greedy to the core Drunk at the helm, steering the needy to the shore Only to be as neglected and ignored as me Crossing fingers that they won't wake up as bored as me

The flimsiest defense to rely on being smart Even in my dreams, you break my fucking heart… 

[oathbreakerapologist]

Ooh those questions are fun!! I’d love to know about the answers to 17, 22, and 23!

Also if there’s a question you think you have a particularly juicy answer to, add that one in as a freebie 👀

WAHOO THANKS FOR ASKIN!! Those are super good picks lol

17: What was your character's favorite toy as a child? Ooo I had to think pretty hard about this! Throughout his childhood, Ghost was extremely energetic and physically powerful for his age, so he always enjoyed physically-active games more than toys. That being said, he loves music, so I think his favorite toy was a little wind-up music box—a piece of drow handicraft, so inside the music box was a delicate clockwork spider that crawled in a circle as the music box played its tune.

22: What does your character like in other people? Ghost particularly likes confidence in others, both for its own sake and because he's intrigued by people that are bold enough to stand up to him. Because of his size, build, and overall unhinged demeanor, I think the average reaction to him is a sort of careful, placating deference; while he enjoys that reaction, he only truly respects people that have the nerve to take charge around him. Taking charge is perhaps the key phrase there—post-tadpole, Ghost is not at all a natural leader, and he finds it comforting to have someone around that seems to know what they're doing. His high regard for that sort of certainty in others was one of the things that drew him to both Shadowheart and Lae'zel early on. Aside from confidence, he also he has fun with anybody with a raunchy sense of humor, and he likes people who can talk eloquently about art, music, literature, and the like.

23: What does your character dislike in other people? Post-tadpole, Ghost has become viciously jealous of people he perceives as intelligent because he thinks he lost quite a bit of his mental aptitude throughout the tadpoling-adjacent series of events. His own (low) intelligence is a sore spot for him, and being a bit too open about one's own book-learning is probably the easiest way to get on his bad side. Both Gale and Gortash found that bad side rather quickly. He's also not fond of do-gooders, and they're not fond of him.

And for the freebie question:

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting? A lot of things, actually. For a man who loves to be up to his elbows in viscera, Ghost has a very strong sense of disgust. A short list of the things he finds disgusting includes: being even slightly dirty; wearing even slightly damp clothes; the taste of alcohol; most land animals; eggs; spongy-textured things; dust; myconids; soup; the smell that hangs in the air after it rains; soft-textured fruits; and innumerable other things. Things he notably does not find disgusting: pretty much all human (and humanoid) bodily fluids and substances. Feeling dirty stresses him out immensely—it's one of the most common things to trigger his number-one coping mechanism, pulling out his own eyelashes.