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lomlhwa · 9 months ago

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all american whore (n.r)

pairing: step brother!riki x step sister!reader

preview: your dad has just married riki's mom. but, you're not blood related so you should be fine to hook up, right?

tags/warnings: fem reader, handjob in the back of a car, oral (69 on the edge of a pool....), fingering, unprotected penetration (BOOOO), hickeys, breast slapping, pet names (angel, slut, cock whore), 4th of july celebration (and by celebration i mean orgasms for everyone), creampie

trigger warnings: STEPCEST!!!, like two mentions of reader having a dead mom

wc: 3.0k

song recs for this fic: american horror show by snow wife, all-american bitch by olivia rodrigo

a/n: i was so invested in writing this for like 4 days good lord

“you could at least try and be a little excited, y/n. sure, you’re meeting my new wife and her son today, but it’s also the 4th of july. it’s a celebration,” your dad says to you while driving. “whoopty doo,” you say as sarcastically as possible. you can feel him glaring at you without even looking over at him. “i know you miss your mother, but it’s been over a decade, i’m moving on.”

you lean your head against the window, the air hanging heavy between you and your dad. “i’ll be nice to them but i can’t promise i’ll like them,” you say, turning to see your dad crack a small smile. “i think you will like them, pumpkin. just trust me,” you nod as he speaks.

____________________________________

as your dad parks, nerves run through you. it’s finally hitting you that you’re meeting these people that your father intends to keep in your life forever. he walks up behind you and squeezes your shoulders. “you ready, kiddo?” he asks and you give him the most unconvincing nod ever.

you walk up to the front door and knock loudly. “you’re here!” a woman cries out as she opens the door. you assume this is your dad’s wife. “hello honey, this is y/n,” your dad introduces you and you give an awkward wave. “come in, come in. riki is just upstairs playing his video games,” she ushers you in and shuts the front door behind her. “you guys can just head out to the backyard, that’s where everyone else is,” she walks over to the base of the stairs and angles her head upwards. “NISHIMURA RIKI GET DOWN HERE,” she yells.

you walk out to the large deck in the backyard with your dad and greet lots of people you’ve never met. you notice lots of things in the very large backyard. in-ground pool, hot tub, etc. your step-mom is rich. you settle yourself in a law chair by the pool with a spiked iced tea in hand. you’re soaking up the sun when you feel a presence next to you. you open your eyes and see a man standing there. “my mom told me i had to introduce myself to you. i’m riki,” he scratches the back of his neck and turns to yell to his mom on the deck. “happy now?” his mother shrugs. he walks away from you, clearly unhappy with your presence.

as the afternoon goes on, the family gathering becomes more lively. you’re sitting on the edge of the pool with your legs in the water when riki comes to talk to you again. he slips his shoes off and plops down next to you. “here because your mom told you to?” you raise your eyebrow at him and he shakes his head. “no, i came to apologize. i’m sure you’re in the same boat as me with our parents' marriage,” he swings his legs, creating small waves in the water. you sigh, your shoulders slumping.

“you wanna go up to my room? it’s quieter and we could watch tv or something,” riki nods towards his house and you give him a small smile before getting your legs out of the pool. you grab your sandals and follow him close behind. “y/n and i are gonna hang out in my room for a bit,” riki tells his mom and she gives him a warm smile. “have fun, kids,” she says. she shoots your dad an excited look as you two walk into the house.

as you settle into riki's bed, you feel as though this is a very intimate space to be in with your step-brother. he puts on some brainrot show as background noise and sparks up a conversation with you. despite being invested in your conversation, you can tell there’s something else on his mind. the way his eyes dart between your own eyes and your lips brings butterflies to your stomach.

riki snakes his hand onto your bare thigh, your shorts having ridden up from adjusting to sit comfortably in his bed. he strokes your skin with his thumb like it’s second nature. goosebumps rise in the wake of the soft movements from his thumb. you look at him with doll-like eyes and he can’t seem to get enough of your appearance.

slowly, his hand snakes higher and higher before his fingers are teasing the stitching of your underwear. you can tell he wants to shove his hand in there and play with your wet heat. you know his fingers can feel how wet you’re getting. he shifts his arm a little bit so he can reach his pointer finger out to brush over your clothed clit. slowly, it gets harder for you to hold the conversation.

riki leans over to whisper in your ear, despite the two of you being the only people in the room. “can i? please let me make you feel good” is all he says to you and you honestly can’t get your head to nod fast enough. you’re not blood related so you should be fine to hook up, right? at your consent, he slips his fingers under the fabric of your panties and plays with your clit. small moans and whimpers escape your lips when he touches you. it feels amazing. his soft fingers on your skin lights your nerves on fire.

riki scooches closer to you so he can press kisses onto your jawline and neck. you tilt your head back on instinct, giving more access to the expanse of your throat. he slides his middle and pointer fingers into your wet hole, pumping them in and out slowly. your muscles clamp around his digits, desperate for more pleasure. “riki, oh my god,” you breathe out, your hand shooting down to hold his wrist while he fucks you. he holds your face with his other hand, making sure you’re looking at him while he fingers you.

your high creeps up on you as the tips of his fingers jab the gummy spot inside you. you arch your back as your walls throb around his fingers. “give it to me, y/n. i know you’re fucking close. cum for me,” he whispers in your ear again. you dig your nails into the skin of his wrist as you cum around his fingers. riki lets out a sinister laugh before pulling his fingers out of you. he brings his wet fingers to his mouth and licks your release off of them. as you’re about to say something to him, you hear your dad’s voice. “y/n! it’s time to go home!”

____________________________________

for the next 3 days, all you can think about is riki. was what you did wrong or immoral? it can’t be. you’re not blood siblings. the only thing bonding you is your parents’ marriage. unfortunately for you, you can’t help but want more.

today must be your lucky day because your dad has some amazing news for you. “we’re going on a little shopping trip with riki and my wife today. do you wanna go there in separate cars or take one car?” your dad asks, leaning on your doorframe. “we can take one car, it’s fine with me. i’ll sit in the back with riki.”

your dad gives you a warm grin, only happy that you’re getting along with your step-brother. he pulls out his phone to text his wife about your transportation decision. not even 10 minutes later, an suv pulls into your driveway. you rush to put your shoes on before climbing into the large backseat with riki. he pats the seat right next to him, despite the whole rest of the backseat being empty. happily, you oblige. the car is chilly and riki has a blanket over his lap.

it’s about a two hour drive to the biggest outlet mall near you. so you settle next to riki, watching a movie on the laptop he’d brought with him. about 20 minutes into the drive, you notice riki shifting around uncomfortably. you take a single glance down and you know exactly what’s wrong. he’s hard. so unbelievably hard. you can see it through the blanket.

“do you want my help?” you ask in a hushed voice. riki catches his bottom lip between his teeth as he nods. luckily, he decided to wear basketball shorts, so you have easy access. you pull the waistband of his shorts and underwear down just enough to get his cock out. you wrap your hand around it under the blanket and pump him slowly. he digs his teeth into his lip to suppress any sounds coming out. you run your thumb over the pink, dripping tip and he lets out a sigh. “you okay back there, hon?” his mom asks, seeming concerned. just as he’s about to open his mouth, you start pumping faster. “y-yeah, i’m so fine,” riki responds. his mom seems to accept this answer as she goes back to looking at her phone.

“the fuck is wrong with you?” he whispers aggressively. you give him a mischievous smile as your hand continues to work on him. you stroke him with firm, mildly swift motions. his hips buck to meet your hand’s movements and you can’t help but smile at his desperation. riki slides his arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him. he digs his fingers into the skin of your hip as his orgasm approaches. “right there, angel, fuck,” he squeezes his eyes shut as his cums, his hips stuttering. white ropes of cum paint your hand and forearm. as you bring your hand to your mouth to lick it clean, he shoves his cock back into his shorts.

____________________________________

after your shopping trip, your parents drop you off at riki’s house. you walk into his empty house and plop down onto the couch. riki stands in the doorway of the living room, watching you. “you wanna swim?” he asks, nodding his head toward the back door. “i don’t have a bathing suit,” you reply, smirking at him. “swim in your underwear.” you shrug, not really minding the idea.

you rise from the couch, walking past riki towards the back door of his house. as you walk, you drop items of your clothes on the floor. first you drop your shirt, exposing your back and your black bra. next, your shorts. they left almost nothing to the imagination anyway. your black panties hug your hips and ass in a way that almost sends your step-brother into a frenzy. you peel your socks off last, throwing them into a corner. finally, you reach the pool. you dive in head first, drenching yourself head to toe. “you coming?” you call out to riki, who’s been a statue since you started stripping.

you can barely see him from the pool but you can tell he took his slides off and threw his shirt somewhere in the room. he comes darting out the door, diving into the pool the same way you did. when he comes back up, he flips his hair out of his face. you’re holding onto the edge of the pool and watch his movements. he swims over to you, halting in front of you. there’s a moment of silence between you before he grabs you by the back of the head and crashes your lips together.

riki kisses you like it might kill him if he doesn’t. the kiss is sloppy and full of saliva. he kisses you like he’s been poisoned and your lips are the only antidote. your hands travel to his exposed chest, digging your nails into his chest. he groans against your mouth and the sound goes straight to your core. you wrap your legs around his waist underwater and he kisses you harder.

“i wanna fuck you, but not here. not now. let me taste you,” he whispers against your lips as if someone will hear you. you nod, but suddenly a better idea comes to your mind. “get out of the pool and lay on your back,” you instruct, also pulling yourself out of the pool. riki follows suit, doing what you told him to. you stand by his head and shimmy your wet panties off. you throw them onto the lawn before turning back to riki.

you put both feet beside riki’s head and lower yourself slowly, sitting on his face. his tongue almost immediately darts out to taste you and you fall forward, catching yourself with your hands on his hips. he wraps his arms around your thighs, pulling your core further onto his face. with trembling hands, you push his shorts down his thighs. he lifts his hips to help you in sliding them off him. you lay your torso down and take his cock into your hands. you stroke it a couple times before spitting on the tip.

you take the first half of his cock into your mouth, already choking around it. he moans against your pussy, his hips bucking into your face. he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it lightly. your knees fight to squeeze around his head but you don’t let them. you stroke the portion of his cock that you can’t fit in your mouth, trying to work an orgasm out of him. you bob your head up and down rhythmically. riki eases two fingers into you and they follow the same rhythm as your head.

your orgasm creeps up on you faster than you would’ve liked it to, but you can tell he’s close too. you pull your mouth off of him to let out a high-pitched squeal when he curls his fingers inside you. “ah, fuck, i’m gonna cum,” you exclaim, clenching around his digits that are abusing your hole. “me too, angel,” riki replies. his voice is so husky and strained that it almost sends you over the edge.

you manage to pump him a few more times before toppling over the edge. you shake above him, your thighs clamping down on his head. the noises you make as you cum send him into his orgasm. he releases onto your face and neck, causing you to flinch a little. you roll off of him, laying naked from the waist down on the warm concrete. when you sit up, you hear a car roll into the driveway. riki shoots up and give you an ‘oh shit’ look. you both bolt into the house, grab all your clothes and rush up the stairs. he barely closes his door before your parents open the front door. you can hear them talking and laughing about something but you’re too focused on how fast your heart is beating.

you collapse onto his floor, laughing about how close you were to getting caught. riki listens for the movement of your parents, trying to find out what they’re doing. relief washes over him when he hears them leave again. he turns to you to find that you’re moving to put your clothes on. “don’t you fucking dare.” he walks over to you and hooks his arms under yours, lifting you off the floor and onto his bed. you rest your body weight on your elbows and watch as he admires your body.

riki runs his hands up your thighs and spreads your legs for him. he pulls you so you’re almost hanging off the edge of his bed. “please, angel. let me fuck you. i need to know how that pretty fucking pussy feels,” it almost sounds like he’s begging you. your core throbs as he speaks. “please,” is all you can muster as a response. riki grabs the base of his cock, lining up with your wet hole. “god, you’re gonna be my fucking slut. right, angel? a whore for my, ngh, cock. gonna ruin you for everyone else. you’re only ever gonna want me” he shoves himself into the hilt before pausing.

your walls pulse around him, trying to adjust to his size. before you’re fully adjusted, he starts to thrust. his cock abuses your hole and it feels so fucking good. you wrap your legs around his waist as he uses you. “god, it’s like you were made for me. such a good cock whore. you’re taking me so well.” roughly, he pulls your bra down to expose your breasts. he slaps both of your breasts, leaving bright red marks. you cry out in pleasure, your back arching. “such a whore for your step-brother. what would your father say?” he teases.

he leans down and connects his mouth with the plush skin of your breast. he sucks on the skin, leaving a dark purple mark. he continues the same motions a couple more times, leaving your chest riddled in his love bites. “you’re fucking mine. you hear me?” he says, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him. “say it. say it and i’ll make my sweet angel cum.” the idea of finally cumming makes your eyes roll into the back of your head.

“fffuck riki, i’m yours. i’m all fucking yours,” you cry out. your orgasm is right there. “good fucking girl. so obedient,” he slaps your chest again, leaving a bright handprint. “where do you want me to cum?” riki asks as his thrusts speed up and become sloppy. “inside, inside, god please inside of me,” you beg, your pussy clamping down on him. he chuckles at your desperation. he connects his pointer finger with your clit, rubbing it in circles. “cum. cum for me right now, slut.”

the combination of his words, his motions on your clit and his cock abusing your wet cunt sends you crashing over the edge. you cry out loudly, a string of curses erupting from you. he quickly follows suit, spilling his seed into your weeping hole. you both rest for a few moments, feeling his cum seep out around his cock. you wipe sweat off your forehead before looking at him.

“we can never tell our parents.”

#lomlhwa #enhypen #enha #nishimura riki #enhypen smut #enha smut #nishimura riki smut #ni ki #ni ki smut

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babyangelsky · 4 months ago

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My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 8

That's it. That's my (late) intro this week.

But in all seriousness, although I was somewhat prepared because of the additional previews that dropped for this episode, I don't think it's really possible to be fully prepared for how something might hit you until you actually see it. And parts of it didn't hit great, lads.

Just know that I'm using the term 'favorite' from a mostly acting perspective for this week and probably next week too.

For my own sanity I'm starting off with Mahasamut's fond husband smile. Mostly because I can and I want to but also because we got see a lot of it this episode. The sweetness that I noted last week is still very present.

I was also very glad to see that Mahasamut has forged a very affectionate bond with Meena.

Mira, Viviana, you've got no business looking disappointed that your plans aren't working out the way you want them to and lamenting about it in voiceover when you keep playing these games with my girly. Things will progress if you're clear!

The sweetneeeessssssss.

Vivi makes the best faces when she's watching Tongrak and Mahasamut be sweet. She can't see the writing on her own wall but she can see it on theirs.

Viviana! It's not a competition! It's not a race! Where's P'Kit someone go get him and make him have a come to jesus with Vivi. She's even got Tongrak telling her that fiction ain't reality and that she needs to use her words.

Tongrak, you are gone for this man.

"Nonsense!" he says. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt anymore, is it, Harry? I do love the sibling energy these two have. They're the Spider-Man meme except they're both clowns calling each other out for not expressing their feelings.

It's Mahasamut sleeping peacefully like the angel he is while Tongrak wrestles with the fact that Vivi is right for me.

I expected a lot more smugness and vitriol from Prin given that she's scheming to destroy Tongrak and has done it with such gusto up until now but it says a lot that even she looks disgusted with what she's doing. She won't even let Jak touch her. Turns out even a hell witch has her limits.

But this man? No such luck.

He's making this face after being asked to destroy his child. Prin offered him five million (and possibly more) to hurt Rak and he looks happy about it. Giddy even. That's sheer malice. Absolutely beyond fucked up.

When your adorable teenage niece roasts you for not having any friends and coming to her for advice.

If "Bet." was a facial expression.

Who's the cat and who's the canary now, Khun Tongrak?

Mahasamut's got cartoon hearts floating around his head and baby girl is so done with him.

*holds on to this moment for a second longer*

I throw roses at Peat's feet every week for how fantastic his face acting is but don't think for a moment that Fort doesn't deserve them too because he absolutely does.

Mut's face was all warmth and smiles when he was alone with Meena, then it became more guarded and cautious when they were approached, then we landed at this when Meena confirmed that the trash in front of them was her grandfather.

Fort's face is naturally very sweet and soft. He's got the opposite of resting bitch face but the fact that he can affect one so well when it's so far removed from what comes naturally to him is all in the eyes.

Look at his gaze. His eyes are normally very sparkly but here they look flat and cold and you can barely see his pupils. These are the dead calculating eyes of a shark and they reveal more hatred than words ever could and that takes TALENT.

I have to give An props for that too because he's also very good at the shark eyes but he's using them in a different way than Fort is.

Look at this screenshot and tell me it doesn't feel like Jak is looking through Mahasamut instead of at him. I can't quite describe how his face emotes but doesn't show actually genuine emotion, it's very impressive and unsettling.

The only time it felt like Jak was actually feeling something was when he looked happy about fucking with Tongrak's life.

Save me, adoring smile. Adoring smile, save me.

VIVIANA! I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST LET KAIMOOK LEAVE YOUR APARTMENT WITHOUT CHASING AFTER HER TO MAKE SURE SHE KNEW YOU KISSED HER AS YOURSELF!

LOOK AT HER FACE. QUIT FUCKING WITH MY KID AND MAKE YOUR FEELINGS CLEAR.

Microseconds were all it took to shift from the gentle loving look Mahasamut was giving a sleeping Tongrak to silent rage as he recalled the encounter with Jak. Microseconds.

Incredulous disgust. I'd lay bets that we all looked like this when we heard Jak say he wanted to fulfill his role as Tongrak's father.

PEAT HAS MADE THIS EXACT FACE AND I HATE IT. NINA MY BABY YOU'RE SO TALENTED AND IN THIS MOMENT I HATE IT. THEIR EYES ARE EVEN A SIMILAR COLOR AND CATCH THE LIGHT THE SAME WAY.

IhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateit my tiny baby princess this is the look of someone so much older than you IhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateit

Gone. Besotted. Utterly enamored.

How could anyone look like this

when their child is looking at them like this?

I hate how much Jak is enjoying this and there is absolutely no doubt that he is, it's vile.

It took me a very long time to get Chris Chiu's scream out of my head when I watched Unknown and it's going to take even longer for me to be able to look at An Oliver Poupart without feeling my skin crawl.

To end this on a high note, I'm going to point out that Mahasamut's shirt isn't just a solid color.

It's TEXTURED.

The straits may be dire but if nothing else, at least it looks like I'm clowning in the right direction. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in these weekly writeups!

#rakmut #vimook #love sea #love sea the series #meta

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nalyra-dreaming · 6 months ago

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Comments on episode 2x02 - aka episode 9!

SPOILERS!!

Intro change!! Love it!!

The coven immediately tracking them but Claudia and Louis not noticing for FIVE MONTHS?! Sweeties!!! Come ON! This is Paris! You know? “Paris? No!“????

But the ribbing about it is EVERYTHING

Sitting on the statue made me laugh out loud

I‘m living for the vaguely bitchy bantering between Armand and Louis!!! Yesssss 🙌

And Daniel not buying it lol

Loved the little moment re the racism (callout) there

Armand and the jab re Lestat - LOL (oh god he is being so PETTY)

Armand needling Louis lmao

The coffins beneath the beds - clever

Poor pidgeons

GO DANIEL!

The interjections with Daniel‘s memories - shivers down my spine!!!

CLAUDIA SAYING SHE NEED A NEW BRAIN IN HER HEAD?!!!!! I FUCKING HATE THEM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 God the foreshadowing

Madeleine and Claudia (and the dress 😭)

Daniel lecturing them about the gloves!!! I remember a post about this when s1 aired, because yes!!!! GOD THE DETAILS

Oh Louis. His photos. Going to that park to… watch?! Or snack and taste the lust in the blood?!!

Okay the groan and the elictricity … manifestations are definitely related to Armand.

They‘re very cute there on the couch in Dubai! If only Daniel would buy it lol. Also Louis‘ face when Armand says he never harmed him - oof. Pain and harm (for others) incoming 😭

God Armand seemed smitten indeed

The theater. HOLY SHIT. God they ate horrifically and left no crumbs.

Armand is maître. No hiding behind Santiago after all

Claudia choosing Bruce. Oy. Also Louis‘ face seeing the portrait

Daniel after had me laughing tears. Honestly. Drag them 🤣🤣🤣

Armand saying he fucked Lestat. Nawwww sweetie 😆

Louis going to Roget‘s to check if Lestat is actually dead. I… god. Honey.

Also: A part of the real Lestat!!!!!!!! I had not expected this (something similar yes, but THIS)??? GOD!! And Sam‘s presentation of it. Holy Hell. And making Louis his beneficiary. Right in the feels. “My Louis“. 😭😭😭😭 Mentioning the veil between them!!! Asking Louis not to give in to revenge!! But live his life 😭😭😭 FUCKING DEVASTATING 😭😭😭

The blood tears

Also Roget proposing Lestat is sleeping?!!!!!!!!! Does this Roget know?!!!

Whoa Daniel calling rebound

And Louis lashing out making Daniel remember Armand!!! HOLY MOLY

Louis called Daniel “Danny“

That smile Louis smiled there was vicious. Another little chip of surface humanity gone

Murder Mansion. Sex on motorbikes. It feels feverish.

Ohhhhhhhhh the flirtation. And Armand cutting it short by warning him and pushing Louis towards his shortcomings vampire-wise. OUCH. And also Armand commenting on her body and mind. Beheadings going on behind them. Oof.

The episode ending with a scream and the smile draining from Louis‘ face. Ruthless foreshadowing.

Next episode preview!!!

1556… the way they redirect for these snippets is interesting

Nicolas!!!!

God that gaze between Lestat and Armand is … *fans self*

Catacombs. Does Armand really show / (try to) teach LOUIS the fire gift? 😬

Justin fucking Kirk talking about the Great Conversion in broad daylight. Ohhhhhh I‘m still calling red herring lol.

Louis throwing Lestat against the wall 😈

Armand challenging Louis 🙌

Agh.

INCREDIBLE.

#iwtv s2 #iwtv spoilers #interview with the vampire #iwtv #amc iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #iwtv amc #louis de pointe du lac #armand #interview with the vampire amc

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byuntrash101 · 1 year ago

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ok but hear me out... hongjoong... showing mc a track he's been working on in his studio (probably late at night, we all know this man doesn't have time for sleep)... but!! things escalate :>

you could probably add mingi into the studio too since he also does some of the producing (pinkgi for bonus points)

ok i've had this ask forever and normally i dont do requests but this ?????? like i couldn't pass it up. here's a sneak peak.

preview under the cut tell me if u wanna be tagged

“What do you think?” Hongjoong asked him as you were still singing through the speakers.

Right there Mingi realized he hadn’t been paying any attention to what was going on around him. His mind was poisoned by the images he was so vividly picturing: you slipping off the flimsy tank top and taking his hands to lay over the bra, asking him to play with your tits, begging him to take off the lace that was keeping you from feeling his hands on your body. Or you spread out onto the mixing table and Mingi’s face buried between your thighs, getting to finally taste you and hear you as he made you feel good, feeling your pussy throb under his tongue smearing your wetness all over his face. That was what Mingi was paying attention to, not the song. Definitely not the song.

But he needed to find something to say before he looked suspicious so he went another route. A route that wasn’t directly about the song but still close enough to pass.

“I think she’s a good addition to the team. Look at how far we’ve come with this song already? Of course we still have to run it by Eden but I mean it’s pretty much done.”

“No” Hongjoong started. And Mingi bit his lips thinking his friend was going to ask him to be more specific about the voice samples he wasn’t listening to but how wrong he was...

“I mean physically what do you think?” Hongjoong’s tone was as glacial as could be as he did his best to dissimulate the burning rage that was hiding behind the biting cold tone.

The words didn’t make any sense in Mingi’s mind. So he turned to his friend trying to find on his face a hint that could help him make the sentence he just heard make sense. But he only found his friend looking right at him dead serious, a darkness about his aura.

“What?” he asked, dumbfounded and utterly confused.

“You wanna fuck my girlfriend?"

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with-my-murder-flute · 1 year ago

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TLT theory: Aim, Jod, and the second part of the message

My brain is fevered. I feel like I've constructed an elaborate Pepe Silvia corkboard in my mind, and it feels like it makes sense of everything, but I honestly have no clue if that certainty will last very long.

I think I know what the Messenger is carrying. I think I know why John has waited ten thousand years.

Spooky preview quote from HtN chapter 2:

I mastered Death, Harrowhark; I wish I’d done the smarter thing and mastered Time.

Spoilers for Gideon, Harrow, and Nona the Ninth.

BoE's chronology has always been kind of weird to me: Five thousand years after the Resurrection happens, they pop up with intense and detailed knowledge of the 21st century! Jod destroys languages and cultures and societies, but BoE keeps popping up! How.

Originally I thought the continuous thread over the years was a Lyctor who helped them (and the necromantic implant does seem to point that way) but I also think part of it is that the ships that escaped just before Earth's devastation have been showing up one by one, over a huge span of time. That's why Wake says "My long-dead natal sun" and can quote Eminem at length; she spent ten thousand years suspended in time, before re-entering it.

NtN, John 19:18:

They said they’d managed to find some poor dipshit geek who’d fixed the FTL problem of getting locked in the chrono well, you know, moving so fast you were stuck doing quantum wheelies. They’d come up with something where you could oscillate out so long as the ship was attuned to a prearranged spectrum outside. I still don’t understand the maths. It’s going to take me ten thousand years to understand it. I couldn’t follow, but A— could. He said immediately, What is the point if you still have no fucking clue where your ship is going to end up when you shake out of FTL. They said, Aha, but we can track it once it’s out. A— said, It could be halfway across the universe or phasing through a planet. They kept arguing that probably wouldn’t happen [...] They said it was expensive, so twelve ships would go first, with one guiding them out with the beacon frequencies like a tugboat leading a cruise liner, triangulate for Tau Ceti, dump the population, and come back.

I think that AIM's message is the beacon that will call the last of the FTL fleet out of the chrono well. They are "we", they are the first of two parts, because their identity is the person they were before coming the Messenger, and the ships that still haven't oscillated back into three-dimensional space yet, because they are under AIM's personal guardianship/intimately tied to possession of her body.

NtN, John 5:4

I think the only reason I haven’t done it already is that I can’t bear the idea that I wouldn’t be able to touch them—that they’d still be out there …

I think Jod has been at this for so long because he is waiting for an event that could literally take an infinite amount of time to occur. He hasn't killed the entire colonized population yet because he wants something out of them, and it doesn't seem to be labour or devotion or even thanergy.

I think he's looking for the fleet's beacon, in a way that's like lighting a grassfire to flush animals out of hiding and deprive them of shelter. I think he's constantly killing planets and relocating and resettling populations before funnelling them together again, like a distillery trying to heat and separate different liquids as they move from flask to flask, because he wants to finally decant the key to the last ships that escaped him.

#lis's tlt theories #the locked tomb spoilers #the locked tomb #ntn spoilers #gtn spoilers #htn spoilers

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ink-and-blood-goddess · 1 year ago

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The Gentle Giant (Bane x Reader) Part I

Requested by Anonymous- Hi could I request for Bane 😀. Something Angsty and smutty as you can. We're reader is a quiet meek person and stuck in the chaos of banes gothem. Bane sees her getting attacked and helps her, to her surprise. Bane is still mean and scary though and when he has to protect her a 2nd time he decides to keep her with him she is terrified but even though he is rough and mean he starts showing is soft spot for her and things get hot from there.♥️♥️ What ever you can come up with I'm sure will be great no pressure if your not feeling it.

A/N-First off, I like to say I’M SO SORRY to the person who requested this over a year ago. I got around to writing this and using most of my time off to get this done. Originally, I was going to post this as a preview of the story, but instead post part 1 of this fanfic. I also went absolutely overboard when got towards the middle part of it. So, for right now I’m going to post this as two-part fanfics and later on when I finish the whole thing, I’m going to post the whole entire fanfic in post as I originally intended for.

Part two may take much longer to write since I need to catch up on other requested fanfic, so that I don’t fall behind much further that I’m already am.

So, please enjoy reading part 1 of this and I’m so sorry again for taking this long for this to written.

Warnings: Choking, hair pulling, lots of language, and violence

Citrus Scale: 🍑

W.C+: 11.2K

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Gotham City. A place you called home. Or it was until a mysterious figure by the name of Bane took over. You weren’t born in Gotham, but moved to the city for your job and a fresh start in your life.

When growing up, you were very quiet and only spoke at appropriate times. Your parents weren’t bothered by how you kept to yourself and never pressured you about it either. This became very useful when the city went to shit.

Winter came after a month when Batman went missing. You’ve never caught a glimpse of who this Bane was or what he looked like. All you have to do was survive this fucking chaos. But this was very difficult with all of Gotham’s criminals running around the entire city. The only time you went out for supplies was at night. Sure it was dangerous doing it, but during the daytime hours, it was even more dangerous. So nighttime it was.

As the winter sun began to set, white flurries of snow started to fall upon Gotham. The snow never seemed to stop day or night. Covering the empty and silent streets. It felt completely dead and desolate once Bane’s reign began over the city.

All the rumors you’ve heard of this mysterious man prosecuting and judging those who’ve done wrong to the city and then showing no mercy towards them. It’s true that the justice system of Gotham was fucked up and a miscarriage to society of the people of Gotham. You don’t give a shit towards the justice system at all, since this whole thing began and Batman being out of the picture.

Besides that, you didn’t know who to trust during this time and never will if you can’t survive with another person going against your throat. However, you’ve managed to get a message to your parents, telling them that you’re alright making it out on your own and doing what you need to survive. That was the last time you spoke to them, before communication to the outside world was cut off from the city.

Now you were on your own. It’s been two and a half weeks since your last supply run and your stash is getting really low. Due to winter coming in, you’ve been going through your food and drink rations faster so that they don’t go to waste. You were well stocked on other supplies for another two to three more months, but food and drinks (mainly water) were the most important things to get.

Once the sun finally set for the night, you began to gather your belongings before going out. You always wear your heavy winter coat, long knitted scarf, gloves, and boots during the winter time to keep warm and safe during your nightly supply runs. Before you swung your backpack onto your shoulders, you double checked to make sure that you’ve got everything for tonight.

Flashlight (with extra batteries of course), three bottles of water, two boxes of granola bars, some extra pairs of clothes, and a fully stocked first aid kit. You then double checked yourself to make sure that you’re all bundled up before going out into the cold, snowing weather. The last two things you needed to take with you were your can of pepper spray and baseball bat.

Those were the only weapons you’ve carried around with you since who didn’t know how to use a gun and never will.

You don’t usually use your pepper spray when you go out, but kept it on hand just in case. Your baseball bat was of more use for you, because it was aluminum metal instead of wood. Does all lot more damage than with the pepper spray can on full blast.

Now that you’ve got everything ready for tonight, you checked one last time before heading over towards the door. As you reached the door, you couldn’t help but look at yourself in the mirror. You were all bundled up in your winter coat that went down to your knees, all zipped up with the faux trimmed hood resting behind your head. The neon striped black knitted scarf neatly wrapped around your neck to protect from the cold weather. Black winter gloves protecting your hands from getting frostbite from the snow. Finally, heavy black leather snow boots tied safely around your feet and ankles.

Normally, you would go out like this during the winter time either to your workplace or when you go out into Gotham City itself. But now, things have changed for everybody including yourself.

Now you have to carry at least two objects with you, in order to defend yourself from the fucked up criminals that are walking freely on the city streets and underbelly of Gotham. Still looking through the reflection, you saw yourself holding an aluminum metal baseball bat in your hands and a XL can of pepper spray peeking out from the right side of your coat pocket.

Everything is completely different now. It affected you the most when it all started. All you have to do is survive and fight for yourself. That’s all that matters now.

After several seconds of looking at yourself in the mirror, you turned back towards the door. Your apartment’s door was heavily locked up. Three deadbolt chains rested tightly in between the wooden door frame and the wall.

Originally you had one deadbolt chain when you moved in, but after a couple of break ins you asked your landlord to add two more so no more break ins would happen again. Two deadbolt locks and one standard locking door knob. The two deadbolt locks were already there when you moved into the apartment.

Lifting your hand up to the top chain, you felt your heart begin to pound inside of your chest. It always does this whenever you have to go out for supplies at night. Then you started to calm yourself down, as you finally placed your hand upon the top chain. Slowly you began to undo the chain from the sliding lock and then let go after it was out of the sliding lock. It swung back and forth for a moment until it stopped. Then you went down to the next deadbolt chain and undid it. After that you went to the last one. You were hesitant at first at removing it, letting your thoughts run wild. Shaking them away, you placed your hand onto the final deadbolt chain and slowly pulled it away from the door.

Once it was removed, you then went to the two deadbolt locks and twisted them open to the side. Finally, you slowly unlocked the door knob. Placing your hand onto the knob, your heart began to race again, but it calmed straight down.

It’s just a supply run. Nothing else. Just get what you need and you won't get hurt or killed tonight, you told yourself in thought. You then slowly turned the door knob and began to open the door at a slow place. The hinges creaked open against the wooden door frame. Thankfully it wasn’t loud enough to be heard from down the hallway.

Poking your head out of the doorway, you looked down both hallways twice to make sure that the coast is clear. All clear, you told yourself. Slowly, you pulled your head back in and then stepped out quietly, placing one foot in front of the other. After you were finally out of the doorway, you turned around to close the door slowly and steadily. It quietly creaked against the door frame and gave a silent locking noise after it was fully closed.

Once you removed your hand from the doorknob, you tucked your hand into your coat pocket for a moment, until you found the keys for the door. Grabbing a hold of them tightly with the palm of your hand, you made sure that they didn’t make any noise. One by one, you picked out the keys for the two deadbolts and the door knob and twisted the keys into each lock. After locking the door knob, you placed the keys back into your coat pocket and padded it down. The keys made a muffled jingle sound inside of the pocket.

Placing your hand back onto the door knob, you tugged on it hard and pushed it a little at the door. It was all locked up tightly now. Nobody was going to break into your place at all. Looking down the hallways one more time, you head down the right side of your floor towards where both the elevators and stairwell are located.

Ever since this whole chaotic justice system started over a month ago, about half of your apartment complex and most of the other residents on your floor became very skittish and violent with one another, even towards you. You did your very best to avoid them at all costs. The only person you still trusted was your landlord. Mr. Asher helped you out when you moved in on your first day in Gotham City. He was always there for you whenever you had a problem inside or outside of the complex. You completely trusted him with every fiber of your being, when this whole fucking chaos started, with everybody on your floor going after you and trying yo break in to kill you. He warned if anybody either on the floor or the entire building comes after you or goes near, he’ll kick their sorry asses out into the cold.

And after that, nobody else on your floor and the entire building ever threatened you again. It was dead silent as you walked down the hallway, except for some muffled talking either from the people inside or from their TV sets. You couldn’t really tell if it was one or the other. The muffled talking got more quiet as you walked away, the elevators came into view.

Not many of them weren’t working anymore after several fires broke out from the floors below and inside the shafts themselves. They were tapped off and had scorch marks melted into the steel work. The only one left working on your floor was the middle left.

You made your way over to the only working elevator and pushed the down button arrow on the panel. From behind the steel doors, you heard the mechanism start up. Since it was the only elevator left working in the building, you and the other residents have to be careful using it.

The elevator finally stopped as it reached up to your floor. The small ding sounded and the sliding doors opened up in front of you. Before stepping in, you looked over your shoulder one more time to make sure that you were all alone and nobody was following you out. Looks like it was clear to go now.

As you’ve entered onto it, it slightly moved but stayed in place. Once you were inside, you quickly turned around, reaching out with your hand, and pressing the Lobby button on the control panel. The button lit up as the elevator dinged again and the doors closed. Then after a few seconds, it began to move downward in the elevator shaft.

Why did this ever happen, you kept asking yourself over and over a thousand times by now after a month that everything went to shit. Bane or whoever he was, taking over the whole city in just one night. Prosecuting those who go up against the new justice system of Gotham. You always knew that the whole justice system was totally fucked up once you moved here.

Without any word or sightings of Batman, who was going to take down this Bane guy anyway? Not you of course. You’ve only heard rumors and talk, but never really seen him up close in person. You are quite small, but average height for yourself.

However you taught yourself self defense. It was the only thing to do since Batman wasn’t here anymore to save everybody in Gotham.

You snapped back to reality when you noticed that the elevator stopped. The light screen above the button panel for the floors said L on it. It meant that you finally arrived at the ground floor or the lobby area of your apartment building. The doors opened for you.

Taking another deep breath, you stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby area. After you got off, the doors closed right behind you.

The whole lobby was completely trashed. Every piece of furniture was either destroyed or turned over onto their sides. Trash cans turned over and bags were scattered everywhere in each corner. There was also graffiti sprayed on every wall and window. Several of the lobby windows were blown out. Thousands of shattered pieces of glass were littered all over the lobby. Half of the lobby lights that were still working, lit up the shattered glass pieces on the floor. Making them look like dozens of tiny fallen stars.

Looking outside through the broken windows, the snow started to come down harder and the wind began to pick up. Feeling a shiver go down your spine, you moved yourself forward so that you don’t waste time tonight. You could hear the shattered glass crunch underneath your winter boots.

Rather than going through the front doors, you instead go out one of the blown out windows. Once you’ve stepped outside onto the lightly snow covered sidewalk, the cold night wind blew through again.

Another shiver went down your spine, as you felt the cold night air touch your half covered face. You felt the snowflakes land upon your half covered face. Melting one by one as they touch your cold skin.

Instead of just standing around, you had to continue on with your task to get more supplies. Looking around the empty streets and roadway, you headed down the left side of the street you were on. Usually you went the other way to get your supplies for the next week or so when this whole thing started, but after a whole month went by you had to result in other measures given the situation.

Originally you had gone down to the supermarket around the corner several dozen blocks on the other side of your apartment building complex. The manager and several of the store employees started to hand out needed supplies such as buckets of food, cases of either bottled water or gallon jugs, and other such needed things.

That’s until looters and the freed criminals took advantage of it and started to take/loot everything from the store shelves. All of them completely cleared out every single item from the whole store and other places around that area.

There was nothing left in that store or anywhere else in the other stores in that area. You never went down there again after they took everything out. You yourself were doing fine with the supplies that you had already. Unfortunately you went through your food and drink stash faster than originally anticipated.

It was supposed to last for another week or two, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Word had gotten out from a few people that live on the same floor you’re on, that there was another supermarket down the other way that hadn't been looted at all. Fully stocked up.

Hoping it was still untouched by looters, you decided to go there anyway to get what you needed to last the next two to three weeks if possible. Looking around while walking, you couldn’t help but feel displaced by everything here.

You were at work the day it happened. Just sitting there at your desk in your shared office space at the computer when the building began to shake violently. The only thing to do was to take shelter underneath your desk, until everything stopped shaking.

Later, you and everyone else found out there was an explosion at the Gotham City football stadium. The whole field was gone in a matter of seconds. That’s how it started. There was a live TV broadcast coming in from the stadium on every single channel. An announcement came through loud and clear when the silence finally broke.

It was about true justice being served at last and prosecuting those who don’t follow along with the justice system. You didn’t know what the fuck was going on and who was talking during the speech. He announced himself as Bane. All that you can remember from that day forth was that deep raspy voice. The very first time you heard that voice sent chills all over your body. Then it all went to shit.

Bane’s soldiers raided almost every single building in the city. Looking for those who didn’t serve the justice system the right way and got away with it. Most of the buildings including your apartment complex were spared from the ordered raid.

After that, you took matters in order to survive this new world of justice, but you have to be careful in doing so. As you continued to walk down with the snow still falling, there were distance gunshots going off followed by a car engine roaring. Echoing off of the buildings and dying off seconds later.

The wind picked up and a cold blast came at you. The cold air made you stop in your tracks and lowered your head down. Feeling it blow past your half covered face and making your skin turn ice cold. Once it died down again, you continued walking on the half snow covered sidewalk.

It was rather tricky walking upon an ice covered surface and you walked at a slow and steady pace. You hated the winter time, even in the city now. All you had to do was bundle up, keep yourself warm, and not stay out too long in the fucking cold. Always trying to be very careful during the winter season, even now with everything going on.

After finally stopping at the last curb, you looked all around the area and at last landed your eyes upon what you were looking for. The safehaven you needed your supplies from: the supermarket that one person talked about.

It looked untouched from looters and criminals. No broken windows, no missing shopping carts, no graffiti sprayed on every single piece of the building, and of course nobody else around to stop you.

You couldn’t help but smile a bit that you made it here by yourself and nobody else got in your way. This is your one chance to get in, take what you can carry out, and get the fuck out of there before something bad happens or something much worse: Death.

You became afraid of dying either in your apartment from an intruder or on the city streets when this whole thing began. You didn’t want your parents to grieve over your body and make them suffer for the rest of their lives.

Since it was still dark out and the snow was still falling down, you had to act fast and get what you came here for. Looking around to make sure that nobody else was there hiding in the dark shadows or going to be attacked, you dashed off the curb and ran across the street as fast as you could

Your heart began to race, as you ran straight towards the glass sliding doors of the market building. Your backpack bouncing against your back. As you were getting closer and closer to the store doors, you began to slow down to a speed walk.

You were out of breath by the time you got to the closed doors and had to stand there for a few seconds before you could do anything else. Your heart went back to a normal pace, as you were catching your breath.

Placing your one gloved hand onto the freezing glass, you squinted and looked through the door into the store. Completely pitch black darkness. Not very visible from either side of the glass, because you were fogging up half of the glass with your covered mouth, temporarily blocking your vision from your hot breath.

Time to act now and fast. You quickly shrugged off your backpack with ease. You still held onto the bat just in case. With a quiet, crunchy thump onto the half snow covered sidewalk, you quickly opened the zipper, dove your free hand into it, and felt around the bottom to find the heavy duty flashlight.

After a few seconds of feeling around, you’ve finally found it and pulled it out. Closing it up now, you lifted the backpack up and slung your arms back through the shoulder straps. Now it was time to go inside.

The only way to go in was through the front, since you don’t have time to check other places to get into the store through such as back or side doors or even windows you can get through. So front doors it is.

You crouched down to where the lock was located on the metal door frame. With some help of the still working light above you, it illuminated the crack for you to see a bit better.

From the looks of it, the security deadbolt lock wasn’t engaged into the slot. This made it much better for you since you didn’t want to break in through the doors.

You quickly and quietly placed both the bat and flashlight onto the ground, placed each of your fingers into the door crack, and began to pull it open. You yourself didn’t have much strength when it comes to pulling or moving heavy items around. With doors it was more work to do, even with just yourself doing it.

As you keep on pulling and pulling, you feel the door start to slide open. It was a huge struggle at first to pull the doors open with your small, meek frame. It felt like they were stuck into place because of the cold weather coming in.

Until you felt a small jolt as you continued on pulling the doors and they started to glide open more easily. A sigh of relief washed over you and the heavy pressure from pulling open the metal framing lifted off of your shoulders.

The doors settled into place for right now. You then picked both the bat and flashlight as quickly as possible and headed inside through the now opened entrance. Making your way inside, you walked very slowly and softly so as to not create any echoing footprints on the floor.

You couldn’t believe your own eyes as you held the flashlight out in front of you. Aisles upon aisles of everything you can find in a store. Each of the shelves you saw in front of you were completely left untouched.

Nothing was out of place and nothing wasn’t missing either. You felt your heart flutter like a bird locked in a cage, by looking at all this unlimited supplies. But you have to act quickly now and take as much as you need with you back.

Looking around with your flashlight beaming brightly in the nearly darkened space, you spotted a row of stacked shopping carts near one of the emergency exit doors in the far corner of the building. You quickly walked over to where they are and grabbed one that was closest to you. Moving it back and forth for a few moments to check to see if it was in good working condition.

None of the four wheels were squeaking or going in another direction. Grabbing a hold of the handle, you began to push it towards the aisle where the bottles of water were kept. You placed the bat inside so that you can one hand free, while your other one held onto the flashlight.

You then turned a sharp right down the aisle and found where the water was. There were single served regular to XL bottles all across the top to middle shelves in the aisle. The only ones that you really needed the most were the 2.5 gallon jugs. You only used them for cooking, washing the dishes, and drinking as much as you needed to. About half of the residents in your complex have a tendency to overuse the water heaters, they have a tendency to shut off on their own if they hit their breaking point. The only time you need to use the water in your apartment is for the shower only. Saves you a lot of trouble so that you don’t have to overuse the water all the time.

On the bottom shelf towards the floor, you spotted the water jugs that you needed the most. The bright side is that they came in a pack of four instead of two. Halting the cart to a full stop, you got down onto your knees and grabbed the pack towards the front of the bottom shelf. The two handles on the pack made it a lot easier to grab ahold of and lift it up.

But it wasn’t quite easy when you were lifting it up from the floor. With the weight of the water including the four 2.5 gallon jugs made it feel like you were hoisting up a fucking boulder from a mountain side of all things. At least your small frame of a body could handle this sort of thing for only a few moments.

You had to place your foot on top of the under rack of the cart to keep it from moving as you were loading the four pack onto it. The pack slightly shifted the weight of the cart now, but you’ll manage to push it as long as you can.

After it was loaded into the cart, you bent down again to grab another four pack of water from the bottom shelf and then placed that one on top of the other pack. Now you were all set for water for the next several weeks to another month or two. There was other supplies you needed to get and you had to act fast.

Grabbing a hold of the cart again, you pushed with all your strength you had and turned a sharp left at the end of the aisle. The remaining supplies that you needed to get were batteries, toothpaste, sanitary pads, canned food, candles, matches, a couple of flashlights, pain meds, snacks, and a new radio.

Your heart was at a steady beat as you wheeled around the empty aisles of the store, grabbing what you needed. The more you filled up the cart, the more it became difficult to push around. Besides, you were going to take it with you anyway since you needed a way to get the supplies back to your apartment. There was a service elevator towards the back of the lobby where the parking garage is located, because it had more room to fit into than the regular elevators themselves.

The only thing left to get was a new radio. The one that your parents had given you when you were moving out, shorted out on you when you were trying to tune into any of the radio stations that were still on the air. It was very unexpected the way it had happened when it sparked and started to smoke. Besides it was old anyway and there was now way of replacing any of the parts now since they’ve melted together in one pile.

Electronics were located towards the back of the store and you made your way over as quickly as you could. The sooner you grab one, the sooner you can get out of here. Once you’ve turned the corner of the electronics aisle, you went straight down until you’ve found the boxes of radios. Halting the bugging into place, you shifted the flashlight forward to look at what radios they’ve got on the shelves.

Towards the top of the shelves, you’ve found one that looked useful enough for you. Reaching up on the tips of your boots, you managed to grab one of the boxes that was closest to the edge of the shelf. As you wrapped your fingers onto the top of the box, a sudden noise caught you off guard.

Without warning, the box slipped from your grasp and fell on the floor with a soft thud. Oh fuck. Somebody or something was coming. No time to act in self defense. You needed to find a place to hide in the store, until what or who leaves. You grabbed the bat from the cart and within seconds your flashlight was shut off.

Quickly and quietly, you made your way through the aisle and straight towards the back of the store. The only place that you could hide in was behind the pharmacy counter. It was tall enough to hide you until it was safe to come back out.

You pushed through the doubled hinged swinging door and then ducked behind the counter. Tucking your knees against your body and resting your head upon them, you hold onto your breath so that you don’t give away your hiding place. Both your flashlight and bat rested at each of your sides.

Then the sound of footsteps came into view, followed by the sound of voices. “Man, look at this fucking place. It’s jammed packed with all these goodies. Just for us.”

The first voice sounded male that was almost older than you. You listened carefully to what was happening right now. You thought that nobody else knew about this store other than the few residents on your floor talking about it.

“Once we take everything on this side of the city, we’re going to own this place and everything in it.” The sound of laughter soon came after, echoing off of the ceiling everywhere. “Fuck yeah. The boss’s going to be over the moon about this. No more scrounging around for rations.”

A second male voice, but sounded a bit younger. There were only two of them. No chance of sneaking out. Just to sit tight and wait until they both leave so that you can get out of here with your much needed supplies.

“Hey, let’s check around and make sure that EVERYTHING is here and report back to the boss about our search,” the older one chuckled a bit. This is not good. You left your supply cart out in the open, with the radio box still on the floor. They’re going to notice that you were going to take those supplies with you.

No way you were going to sneak past them. You’ll get caught within a second if they ever spot you. All you have to do right now is just to sit tight and wait for both of them to leave. It wasn’t going to be easy though since you have to hold your breath, not to make any noise that’ll alert them.

You heard their footsteps echoing off of the high ceiling of the store, making you feel like you were trapped between a rock and a hard place. It sounded like they were going through each of the aisles, checking to see what was still there on the shelves. Sooner or later, they’re going to notice several items missing from their spots and inside of the cart you were using just now. Hopefully they don’t see it and the stuff inside.

“Hey, come over here quickly. Found something” Too late. The running of footsteps soon came after. “What is it? What did you find,” the second male voice sounded out of breath. “Looks like somebody came in and tried to take this stuff with them,” you heard the shuffle of the items you were taking being moved around in the cart.

“Oh yeah. Then why’s this shit still doing here in the store if it never made it far enough to the front doors,” the second male sounded agitated now. “If they wanted these so badly, why didn’t they take it all with them.” His voice is getting more aggressive with his tone. “I mean come on man. All this fucking shit in this place is all ours for the taking and nobody elses’ for them to take.”

The first male sort of laughed at him and his laugh echoed. “Because you fucking idiot. They didn’t make a run for it at all. Instead they’re hiding out somewhere in here” You heard the rattling of the box that the radio you dropped is in and being tossed to the other male. The second male scoffed at the first.

“Whoever they are, they can’t hide any longer. Not even from us.” You felt your heart drop to the bottom of your stomach and a lump form in your throat. You didn’t know what to do now. Your whole body began to shake badly. The last thing on your mind was being caught red handed.

“Come on. They couldn’t have gotten far,” their footsteps resumed and both started to walk back around the aisles. Now instead of leaving, they were looking for you. Why did it have to happen tonight? You started to blame yourself for leaving the comfort of your completely safe and warm place. But you can’t blame yourself right now. You’ve made it all this way out here just to get supplies and you weren’t going to take any chances. Giving up is not an option for you now. It’s time to get out of here.

After coming out of your thoughts, the sound of their footsteps suddenly stopped. Complete silence, but something didn’t feel right about it. You took a deep and quiet breath in. Exhaling through your nose a couple of times, you lowered your knees back to the floor. They felt sore from the way you sat on the floor.

Rather than standing back up to look, you instead decided to crawl. Lowering yourself onto your side, you made sure that you didn’t bump anything that was behind you. Grabbing both your bat and flashlight once again, you started to crawl very slowly towards the swinging door. You held a steady breath as you crawled along the carpet floor. Your heart was at a steady beat, but felt like it was beating faster.

As you neared the corner of the swinging door, you made sure to tuck both the bat and flashlight beside you just in case something goes down. With a slow and steady breath, you looked through the large opening underneath the swinging door. Nothing much to see, except the streetlights outside the store faintly bleeding through the front windows.

Looks like the coast is clear now for you to come out of your hiding place. Quickly, you scooted back a bit to lift yourself back up from the floor. As you were grabbing your flashlight, something felt very off. Like the whole atmosphere in the entire room changed. Holding onto your breath yet again, another lump formed in your throat. You began to crawl much slowly now, not making any sort of startling noise. As you neared the corner of the swinging door again, you felt a mysterious dark shadow looming over your crawling form.

“Well looky looky here Charlie. It looks like we have a mouse in our house.” All of a sudden, you’ve felt a large hand grab ahold of your hood with a fucking strong grip and pulling you out of your hiding hiding spot. The only thing that escaped from your throat was a high pitched scream. It echoed off of the high ceiling as you were being dragged out of your hiding place.

It felt like you were being tossed like a rag doll across the store floor as you were being pulled out. You slammed into a shelf that was near and got the wind knocked out of you. Crouching over with your arms hugging your padded sides, you knew that you were totally fucked now. You were grabbed again, but this time your hood was pulled back from hiding your pale face.

You had no other choice, but to look up at who caught you. The one that was holding you by your hood had a medium build, that almost reminded you of an MMA fighter. He had on military type gear such as the vest, camo pants, and combat boots. Underneath the vest was an olive green pullover hoodie. On his hands were a pair of black winter gloves where the fingers on the gloves were cut off.

The other one stood across from you, leaning up against the front of the pharmacy counter. He had the same gear on, except he had on a black pullover hoodie that looked bigger than him. He had a smaller build than the other one. Both his arms were crossed and had one leg crossed over the other.

Both had dark hair with undercuts. You couldn’t really see either of their faces since they were halfway covered with some face coverings they use to keep cool out in the deserts. Their skin looks pale, but it was hard to tell from the faint light coming in from outside. The most disturbing part was their dark eyes. So dark they almost looked possessed.

Your whole body froze as you looked into their eyes. Fear began to fill you with awful dread creeping its way into your heart. There’s no escaping now.

“So. What do you think you’re doing?” The one that was holding onto you by your hood sounded agitated when he asked you. You had no other choice but to answer his question. “I was,” those were the first two words that popped out of your mouth. Your voice was low, almost like a whisper.

“I was getting supplies,” you spoke up more so that both of them heard you loud and clear. It felt like holes were being bored into you from their stares. “For who then,” he asked again, but it sounded like he was gritting his teeth together.

“Are you stealing our shit to give to other people or taking it all for yourself,” he spat, lowering his face to yours. You could almost feel his hot breath on your cold skin through his face covering.

You swallowed hard. The fact he’s much closer to you, it was making you more afraid of him. More and more fear began to flood your entire body. Still, you have to answer him or else you’ll be killed.

“The supplies are for me. I was running low and needed to replenish my stash.” His hot breath ghosting your cold skin. You could feel that he was getting more angry with every second. With a sudden jolt, he grabbed you by your hair that was held up in a ponytail in a tight grip. You let out a painful gasp, with your mouth gaping open. You can feel his thick fingers digging into your scalp.

“Then why are you fucking stealing from us then,” he hiss straight into your ear as he got much closer now, “this is our territory you little bitch.Why did you ever come here? There are other places in the whole fucking city you can raid.” You felt him dig his finger nails deeper into your scalp.

The pain started to increase more and more when he was digging in. “Most of the other places were emptied out,” you gasped, as you tried not to move much while he held your ponytail in a tightass grip, “this was the only place that had the supplies that I really needed. That’s all I’m here for.”

“Please,” you started to beg now, which was the only thing to do, “just let leave with my stuff and I’ll never come back here ever. I’ll leave you two alone and I won’t ever talk about this at all either. Please just let me go.” You said with a shaky breath.

With a sharp, deep breath, he pulled your head back with a sharp jolt and dug much deeper into the roots of your (H/C) hair. You let out a painful cry as you could feel him pull your hair out almost.

“I don’t think so, little princess. You’re coming back with us,” he said as he got much closer to your face. His hot breath fanned more of your skin, making it feel like it is about to melt. Tears began to well up in the corners of your eyes. Fear began to fill your whole body.

“Terry,” the younger one spoke up at last, clearing his throat out, “do you think that’s a good idea man? What if she’s lying about what she said and probably in a group with other people? They’ll know if she doesn’t come back and they’ll come looking at the last place she was at. Eventually they’ll come looking for us if anything happens to her.”

Terry? That’s the name of the fucking brute that’s holding onto you by your hair in a tight grip. Then Charlie must be the younger one when his name was called out earlier. They could be related to each other or just comrades in their group. Either way you have to get out of here now and fast.

You could feel his breath getting hotter and hotter as his breathing increased rapidly. “She’s not with anybody else,” he hissed as he turned his head towards Charlie and away from you. His hot breath left your skin quickly and it grew cold once again.

With quick thinking, you had to move your hands slowly into your coat pockets to find the XL can of pepper spray. You remembered that it was in the pocket on the right side of your coat.

Without making any sudden movements, you very slowly reached into the pocket with your one hand, while the other one held it open a bit. Your fingers touched the tip of the can at last and then your palm snaked its way down onto the canister itself. Grabbing a hold of it now, you slowly pulled it out of the pocket and moved it to the other hand.

It took only a second or two to find the spray trigger on the cap and place two fingers on top of it. Now all you have to do is wait to push it.

“If she was with somebody else, we would’ve known when we got here. Either way, she’s coming back with us and the Commander would know what to do with her.” He sounded very serious. Whoever this Commander person is, they’ll kill you for stealing their stuff from their now claimed territory.

“She needs to know not to fuck around with us at all and get away with our goodies. We just can’t let her go. She needs to be taught a very big lesson.” That was your que to get ready to run as soon as you push the trigger on the pepper spray can. You ready yourself.

“Okay sweetheart, you’re-” as he turned his head back towards you, you quickly lifted the canister up, pressed the trigger, and sprayed it directly into his eyes.

He let out a long yell once it hit him straight in the face, lifting his tight grip from your ponytail, and went to cover his face with both hands. The spray would temporarily blind him, making your escape much easier to get out of this fucking place.

Quickly, you shrugged off your backpack, sprang up from the floor, and ran like a bat out of hell as fast as you could. You could hear the asshole that grabbed you crying out very loudly in pain from the pepper spray that was making his eyes burn. “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, IT BURNS. I CAN’T FUCKING SEE. MY EYES WON’T OPEN,” his voice echoing off of the ceiling, making it bounce everywhere.

“GO AND GET THAT FUCKING BITCH, BEFORE SHE ESCAPES!” Shit. You have to get out of here faster before you get caught and won’t be able to get away from them again.

Thinking very fast, you decided to run in a zigzag line through the aisles, in order to confuse the other one. Your heart started to race again in your chest, as you made your way through the aisles. Both of your feet picked up more speed as you made sharp turns towards the end of each aisle, making your way back to the front entrance of the store.

Passing the last aisle, you’ve found your way back to the front. You felt relieved now, knowing that you were going to get out of here alive. Knowing that you had to leave behind both your backpack and supplies behind, but the only thing you care for the most is your own life.

As you drew closer to the front doors and were about to run through them, something grabbed ahold of your scarf from behind and tugged on it with a very powerful grip. You were once again thrown across the floor and collided with one of the shelves that was near the front.

When your back slammed straight into them, you felt a sharp pain build up like a raging fire and it spread across your body, making you cry out in pain. Then you felt your throat grabbed ahold of, as your scarf was pulled away to expose your pale neck. Slender fingers wrapped around your throat and began to put pressure upon it.

“Do you think that we’re going to let you escape from us? Guess again little bitch, you’re coming back with us either way,” as the pressure on your throat began to increase more, you looked up to see it was the younger one, Charlie, holding you by the throat this time. The street lights casting upon him made him more menacing looking in the darkness of the store. His dark eyes looked like two black coals searing in complete anger.

You felt your heart drop to the bottom of your stomach, knowing that you’re totally fucked now. “Besides, I’m going to have so much fun with you after what you did to my older brother and making you pay for it.” He said, with the utmost glee in his voice.

Older brother? Shit, you’re doubled fucked now. Nothing comes out good when messing with either older or younger siblings, especially the asshole types. Besides you can still take him on, since you still had the pepper spray can in your hand and it was still full too.

Slowly you lifted your arm up, with your fingers ready at the trigger. Before you could press the trigger and spray him straight into his eyes, he grabbed ahold of your wrist with his other hand. He tightly squeezed his fingers around it with painful pressure. He narrowed his eyes at you, looking more menacing.

“You think you can do that to me, like you did to my brother? Guess again princess. You don’t get away with shit like that and think you could forget all about it.” His grasp around your neck started to get tighter and tighter, making it more difficult to breathe. You felt your airway starting to close up and began to gasp for air like a fish out of water.

Your chest heaving up and down at a rapid pace, making your heart beat faster and faster like a rabbit. You began to wheeze as the air disappeared from your lungs.

“It’s time for you to fucking pay up princess,” he loosened his grip around your wrist and grabbed the pepper spray from your hand.

“Eye for an eye,” he said as he pointed the cap towards your eyes, ready to pull the trigger. Tears began to flood your eyes again and fell down your cheeks. You tried gasping for more air, but your airway was completely blocked off.

Your vision was blurring away as it got difficult to breathe anymore. This is how you were going to die.

“Well well, what do we have here,” asked a heavy, raspy voice. You felt your heart skip a beat or two when you heard it. The voice sounded menacing, but in a calm way. So calm in fact it was more gentle than rough when it spoke.

Your captor’s eyes went from aggressive to complete fear when he heard the voice too. He widened his eyes, almost to the point of bugging out of his skull. It was almost like he knew who that voice belonged to. Quickly, he spun around to face the hulking figure that stood there in the shadows.

“BANE,” he said with a shriek once he turned around. In the process, the canister slipped out of his hand and dropped to the floor with a metallic thud. His other hand left your throat in a hurry, relieving the pressure from it at last.

You bent over, hacking and coughing air into your lungs. Even when his hand left you, you could still feel its harsh warmth on your bare skin. Almost choking a couple of times, you started to breathe normally again.

Looking up with tears still streaming down your face, you see your capture dropping to his knees and starting to crawl over towards this ‘Bane’ figure. “B-b-b-b Bane, wh-wh-what are y-y-y-you doing i-i-i-in this district,” he stuttered out. You could tell that fear filled every inch of his body.

The figure let out a long, raspy sigh as he looked down upon your capture crawling towards his feet. It looked like he was going to beg for forgiveness from this hulking being.

“I was taking a nice stroll through the snowy weather. Patrolling through the streets of my new domain, until I heard a great commotion coming from here,” he cocked his head to the side. From the sound in his voice, it sounded like he was somewhat agitated. “So do pray tell. Why are you doing here?”

There was great silence for a moment, until you could hear stammering coming from the person that held you by your throat. “W-w-w-we were ch-ch-checking out th-th-the place,” he swallowed hard, while trying to make eye contact.

“We?” He asked in a calm tone. “M-m-m-my older brother an-an-and I,” he continued on stammering, “our leading commander told both of us to go check out our new piece of territory. We came in here to check on the goods, to see that everything was still in place before taking over.”

Then your captor looked over his shoulder towards where you still were, “then the both of us caught this little bitch hiding out in here and tried to take what’s actually ours.” Afterwards he turned back towards the figure.

The figure sighed another raspy breath, almost sounding like he was disappointed. “Caught her? Then why did she escape from you,” he asked another question, but getting more agitated with his words.

You could tell now that your captor is shaking like a leaf in the wind. Becoming more afraid of this Bane figure. “We did have her. My brother was holding onto her by her hair and talking about the consequences of trespassing into our territory and not to steal our shit. Apparently, she had a can of pepper spray hidden somewhere on her and sprayed my brother with it in his eyes. He couldn’t see anything and was defenseless. He told me to go and get her. That’s what I did. I caught her before she could escape through the doors. I was going to teach her a valuable lesson about what she did to my brother.”

It sounded like he was making himself and his older brother sound like victims rather than criminals and making you look like the bad guy from his perspective. No. Only you were the victim here and both of them were the actual criminals.

A sudden loud noise caught you off guard, making your heart jump a bit. You turned to look over your shoulder to see what was happening, until you saw an arm coming around the corner of the shelf, with the fingers wrapping underneath it. Coming into view, it was the older brother/your other captor. It looked like he got some of the spray out of his eyes, but not all of it. Pepper spray is very powerful shit for self defense.

“Fuck Charlie, what’s taking you so fucking long? We have to-” He stopped dead center in his tracks as he noticed the hulking figure too. The figure moved his head upward and turned towards where your other captor was standing. He inhaled a very sharp breath when the figure looked over to him now.

“Ah, you must be this gentleman’s older brother then.” He said, as he shifted in his place a bit. “Bane,” he said as he stepped an inch or two to get a closer look, “what are you doing here in our territory?” He asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

“Territory?” He asked in a more curious tone this time. Your other captor nodded his head. “Yes. Since everybody who stayed in this part of Gotham City abandoned it, our whole crew decided to take it all for themselves, including my little brother and me.”

You could feel there was tension in the air now, as the hulking figure standing in front of all three of you shifted his shoulders and crossed his arms. “What makes you think that this is yours,” he doesn’t sound amused now.

“There’s nobody else here anymore. This is all ours now for the taking. We deserve all of this.” He said with much glee in his voice. He wasn’t wrong about any of that. Ever since the city was taken over, most of the residents of Gotham have either fled the city or gone someplace else to take shelter, because of the criminals that Batman have put away are loose once again.

“Deserve this?” Bane asked as he tilted his head to the other side. He was getting more agitated with his raspy breathing and starting to lose some of his patience little by little. “No. You don’t deserve any of this. You’re nothing but rats infesting wherever you go and where you shouldn’t be.”

“We are not rats,” he said through his gritted teeth. “We belong up here, not in the fucking sewers hiding out like there’s no tomorrow for us. I am done hiding in the fucking shadows and so is my little brother. Both of us don’t want any more of this.” At this point, you could almost feel his blood boil through his skin.

“Done hiding?” Bane asked as he began to move forward with heavy footsteps, “I have hidden in the darkness for the longest time myself. I was born into it and molded by it. The darkness may be a cruel, twisted, and unforgiving place. But for myself, I find it very peaceful,” he said as he gave out a raspy chuckle.

As Bane got closer and closer with his heavy footsteps, you could feel your back to tense up, just by looking at him. You could barely see what he looked like since there wasn’t enough light coming in through the outside.

He stopped in front of your captor, overtowering him with his tall build. You could hear his breathing increasing rapidly, as Bane stood inches in front of him. Craning his head upward just to look at him. Even after being sprayed in the eyes, fear filled them as tears fell down his face. His whole body trembling were he stood.

As you kept on breathing in more air into your lungs, Bane turned his head over slowly and looked down where you were on the floor. Even though you couldn’t see his eyes through the half lit entryway, they looked more calm than menacing.

“Dear one, did these two hurt you in an ungrateful manner,” he rasped, asking you in a very polite voice. You felt tears begin to prick the corners of your eyes again and a wincing sob escaping through your lips, as you took a deep, painful gasp of air into your lungs.

“Yes,” you squeaked out like a little mouse and felt your heart drop a bit in your stomach. Bane gave out another raspy sigh, but this time sounded more angry and disappointed. He then turned his head back towards your captor and gave him an angry glare. Your captor swallowed very hard and could hear his breath shaking through his lips.

“I’m very disappointed with you,” Bane said, as he placed a large hand upon his throat. Your captor shuddered when Bane placed his hand upon his throat, as more fear filled his entire body. It was trembling completely at this point.

A slow crunching noise began as Bane started to squeeze his hand upon your captor’s throat and within seconds it started to increase more and more with each squeeze.

Your captor began to gasp as pain started to shoot through his whole body. Both of his hands shot up to where Bane’s is and tried to pry it off of him, but with no such luck. He gasped more and more in pain as the sound of bones crunching got louder.

The sound almost made your stomach turn, wanting to vomit just hearing it. The younger brother started to scramble at the distressed sound of his older sibling being hurt.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY BROTHER,” he shouted at the tops of his lungs as he charged towards the hulking being chocking the life the out of his own flesh and blood. He leapt onto Bane’s back and wrapped his arms around his neck.

Not wanting to watch any of this unfold before you, you mustered the courage and what’s left of your strength to run back to the other side of the store. At first you had difficulty getting up off of your own feet, but eventually made the effort from going to a crawl and into a full on sprint. The blood flow rushed back into your legs, giving you back into feeling them once again.

Instead of zigzagging through the aisles like you did the last time, you ran in a straight line all the way back towards the pharmacy where you hid before being found and caught earlier.

The rush made your heart beat faster again as you reached the back of the store. You dov back behind the counter of the pharmacy and found your flashlight still laying on the ground where you left it. After you quickly grabbed it off the floor, you crouched back down into a sitting position with you hugging your knees again with flashlight in hand. It felt like your lungs were on fire, as it was still painful to breathe in air after being nearly choked to death and were about to be sprayed in the eyes with your own self defense weapon.

Farther away, you could hear the comotian of the two brothers and this Bane person. It was very hard to tell if this person is the real Bane or an imposter of him since you don’t know what he really looks like in person. Then the sound of crashing made you break from your thoughts, as you could hear shouting.

“LET GO OF MY BROTHER YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE,” the younger one screamed at the top of his lungs. Another crashing sound made your racing heart jump against your ribcage. It was louder than the last one. You decided to cover your ears, to muffle out the noise of the fighting.

With your hands over your ears, you could hear your rapid heartbeat rushing to them. You could also hear a slight ringing inside them. Properly from being thrown around a couple of times in the last fifteen minutes.

More shouting and crashing sounds, making you more jumpy than normal. You closed your eyes tightly and tried to block everything out of your mind. Your breathing became more rapid as the fighting increased more and more between the two brothers and the hulking figure Bane.

Another crashing noise came, followed by some more shouting. The shouting was too muffled to hear, with your hands still covering your ears. Besides, you didn’t want to know or find out. Then you heard the sound of running footsteps, disappearing into the distance. Complete silence now.

After a couple of seconds, you slowly opened your eyes back up and then removed both your hands from your ears with a shaky breath. Mustering what’s left of your strength, you lowered your legs back to the floors and slowly lifted yourself back up.

At first you were a bit wobbly, but managed to stand up straight. Your breathing was turning back to normal, but your lungs still hurt a bit.

With your flashlight in hand once again, you slowly walked back to the entrance of the pharmacy and peeked around the corner. Nothing. Looks like you’re all clear.

Quickly, you dashed through the double hinged swinging door and went straight for your backpack you left behind before getting caught again.

As you were about to grab the handle of your backpack, the sound of heavy footsteps made you stop in your tracks as they made their way towards where you were. You scrambled backwards, accidentally tripping over your own feet and fell backwards towards the floor. A white, hot sharp pain surged through you again after landing onto your backside.

Lifting your head up, your eyes widen in prue terror to see the hulking figure coming straight towards you.

You started to crawl backwards at a fast pace and slid across the smooth floor without slipping. You felt your back arch up when you backed into the counter, pressing up against the smooth surface.

At last, the figure’s heavy footsteps stopped several feet in front of you. A lump formed inside of your throat, as your eyes laid upon this large being standing in the darkness.

“Ah, there you are, little mouse.” He said with a small, raspy laugh, “you are in no danger anymore. Those two ungrateful gentlemen are now gone”

It was quite difficult to see what he actually looks like through the shadows. With your flashlight still in hand, you decided to flip the switch on to illuminate the figure in front of you. Pressing your thumb against the switch, you flicked it up and the flashlight came on once again. As the bright light illuminated the darkness at last, your jaw dropped as your eyes widened more at the sight of the hulking figure.

He was tall. Quite tall in fact that he practically overtowers your own height. You were roughly in-between 5’4” to 5’5” in height. From his stature he looks almost six feet tall. He wore what to be military or military type gear such as the vest, but no weapons were on him. A long, winter coat covered his broad shoulders down to his knees. His pale skin glowed within the light, giving off a warm feeling. The one thing that caught you off guard, was his mask.

The mask covered most of his face, wrapping around his clean shaven head. A long leather strap tied around his bald scalp, pressing against the skin tightly. It almost looks like those muzzles for dogs, but this one is designed very differently.Whatever the situation was, it looks like it was especially designed for him.

The one and only thing that made him look so normal looking were his eyes. Bright and beautiful blue eyes. They looked so calm and collected, as they shined very brightly in the light. It was like there was no darkness inside of them, making you feel almost safe.

You felt your heart flutter like a bird inside of your chest, as you continued to look at him. His large chest raised and fell slowly as he looked down upon you.

“It’s quite all right now. You have nothing to fear little mouse,” as he began to move slowly towards you, you felt your body tense up again as your back arched up against the smooth, wooden counter.

He stopped dead in his tracks just several feet in front of you. Still looking down, he lifted his hands, wrapped them around the shoulder straps of his vest, and tilted his head to the side.

“You still don’t trust me, little mouse?” He asked in a calm manner. You shook your head. Trust him? After what you’ve been through tonight, he wants you to trust him. Though he did save your life, but still, you don’t completely trust him after what he did to the two assholes.

He sighed heavily and slowly closed his eyes. After a moment or two, he opened his eyes back up, removed his hands from the shoulder straps of the vest, and then lowered his hulking body down into a crouching position.

You backed up a little more, with the back of your head nearly pressing up against the counter. Though he was just several feet away from you, it felt like he was much closer. Even with the light still trained upon him, you got a more detailed look of his face.

“Then you better listen, little mouse. Don’t go wandering about this place all by yourself. Many unknown dangers lurk everywhere, even in the darkest corners of the world. Best not to do it again. You may never know who or what may find you.”

The way he said that was somewhat true. Walking by yourself around Gotham city was dangerous enough even before the city got overtaken during the purge. You were always very careful when you were all alone, while walking the streets at night. Still, you could almost feel yourself trembling before this massive human being, even when holding up a flashlight just to look at him.

“Well then, it’s time to be off,” he said as he began to stand back up. He dusted himself off, turned his back towards you, and started to walk away. “Oh and one more thing,” he stopped to look over his shoulder back at you, “it’s best not to meet like this again, because what I’ll do will be very unpleasant. Is that understood, little mouse?”

“Yes,” you said in a quiet voice and nodded your head. “Good. Best to get out of here while you still can and take what you need. Safe travels home” He turned his head back and continued on walking. The sound of his heavy footsteps faded as he walked away from you. Soon after, the footsteps were gone and so was he.

At last you breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed yourself. You sat there for a moment, thinking about what just happened this night. You were afraid at first that you were going to be killed and never see your parents’ faces again.

But if it weren’t for Bane, you wouldn't be alive right now. You thought more of what he just said to you before disappearing, about him doing something very unpleasant if the two of you ever met like this again. You may never know. Not until the next time the two of you crossed paths.

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To be continued in part 2

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atopvisenyashill · 2 months ago

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sorry to bother you but do you ever think of theon’s arc as being sort of akin to an amalgamation of the previous generation of starklings in a way - he starts out lustful and wild like brandon, though raised apart from family, dead older brother(s) like ned and isolated in a tower with a sibling trying to save them like lyanna? like theon recieves a bunch of connections with the old gods and having weirwood dreams but i’m not too sure what it all means together.

oh that’s sooooo interesting.

okay so yes re: theon’s connection to the old gods and having weirwood dreams. that’s something i think about a lot. one thing i find interesting is the play between him, aeron, and patchface as prophets - aeron calls himself a prophet of the drowned god, and while i think its likely all of the greyjoys are capable of magic to some degree, it’s not aeron who is regularly having true visions in the family it’s theon who has shown this funny aptitude for magic and interestingly, it’s patchface who drowned, was revived, and suddenly became a voice for the gods. i have this theory that patchface is a prophet for the drowned god (or whatever magical being is thought to be the drowned god, the same way as for example the old gods are most likely not gods but hundreds if not thousands of greenseers connected to the weirwood hivemind system) and theon is a prophet for the old gods. patchface going through the ritual accidentally, imo, caught the attention of the drowned god. theon, meanwhile, i think is someone who was born with magical abilities, in a time period where magic seems to be reaching a boiling over point after spending several centuries simmering, surrounded by other similarly “have the aptitude but not the know-how” people in the starklings, having been intensely physically traumatized - like patchface, i think he caught the attention of the old gods bc he accidentally went through the rituals while In Their Domain. bran has his visions of the woman blood sacrificing the old man, and i’ve kind of loosely theorized that being capable of extreme magic means you must be capable of sacrificing yourself as well as others. dany doesn’t just burn mirri, she walks onto the pyre herself; melisandre doesn’t just use pyre victims to fuel her magic, she has to literally give birth to her magic; but to take it a step further, i think when people capable of magic are physically traumatized by others, it does kind of….get their senses tingling i guess you can say. i think this is why bloodraven goes from being just like a regular fighter to being known for magic and sorcery - losing his eye + his knowledge of magic sets off his senses. so as theon is already magically inclined, living in a place that is steaming with magic, tortured by ramsay…all of a sudden he goes from having visions in acok to talking to weirwoods. he’s caught the attention of the old gods (the old god being, of course, bran).

so that’s my theory on like, HOW theon’s third eye has slowly opened but the fact that it’s seemingly opening towards the OLD GODS and not THE DROWNED GOD is really interesting on a narrative level. i think when you ask “what will happen to theon” in the fandom at large, it’s a really bleak picture - some of that is the show, but i’ve seen people theorize that the last chapter we have of him in twow (the preview chapter) is the last we’ll see if theon since i got into the fandom when s2 was airing. and i know i’m biased bc i love him but i do think his connection to the weirwood magic is going to come into play. similarly, i see a lot of theon fans who would prefer an ending where he’s no longer with the starks or in the north but in the iron islands. but again - it’s not the drowned god who is speaking through him it’s the old gods! this signals to me that he is never leaving the north permanently, if at all. and i think that makes sense with his story on a narrative level; he can insist he is salt and sea, a greyjoy of pike, but even as he’s trying to prove himself as a greyjoy he’s calling himself the prince of winterfell! nothing will erase the reality that most of the formative years of his life were spent in winterfell with the starklings and when he pictures home it’s that place! that place that was full of love that he was not allowed to partake in! being able to go back to pyke and fully reintegrate back into the culture he was born into is, imo, too sweet of an ending. he doesn’t get to go back!

i’ve always felt like he will live a long life, longer than he’ll ever really want, and that’s the point - he gets to live and others don’t (and some of that is his fault!) and he has to keep trying because of it. forever. he can’t take the easy way out and exit the narrative. so i think it’s interesting you compare him to the older starks because the youngest is benjen and benjen was a man of the night’s watch. i think that concept of like, spending the rest of your life trying to do penance being what theon gets makes so much sense. specifically here i think it’s interesting that lyanna experiences some element of sexual abuse, and theon is both a perpetrator and a victim of it. and there’s that common theory that perhaps benjen helped lyanna sneak out of winterfell and joined the night’s watch out of guilt. i think you get that very interesting kind of dark mirror here - theon is much less well liked than brandon despite engaging in the same behavior, theon is never able to “rise” to the occasion as oldest boy and heir like ned nor is he respected by the iron islanders the way ned is by the northerners, theon is trapped by ramsay in a very twisted love story while lyanna’s story was more of a slow burning horror. always always never enough when compared to the starks. but i think an ending like benjen’s, not necessarily one where he’s specifically sworn to some order but maybe a more metaphorical one (not dissimilar to sandor on the quiet isle actually - less about WHO he is swearing to and more about what he does with his time), really fits everything theon is heading towards. can’t outrun and outfight his status as a hostage, his murders, his rapes, being raped, the greyjoy name or the stark one - but he can just stop and THINK for a second about WHO he is and WHY he’s wound up this way!

#sorry this maybe isn’t super quote heavy i got this and this is a subject i think about a LOT with theon is his connection to the north #so i was thinking about his arc overall. like where i feel it’s going.#asks #theon greyjoy #valyrianscrolls #rhymes with freak #asoiastarks #magic in asoiaf #the old gifs #love theon and magic it’s so interesting.#anyways i think theon’s arc is so heavily tied to bran and Whomever Will Rule Winterfell that the idea he’s just getting unceremoniously #offed or even like Doomed To Die by the end of twow seems silly to me #the old gods and bran aren’t done with him yet!!!! clearly!!!!!

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what0smart · 2 months ago

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Absolute Power:Superson thoughts!!!

Spoilers!!!!!!

As much as I would love to make an essay on this I don't think there's any way I could organize my thoughts enough for it to be good so I'm just gonna list out my thoughts on my favorite parts!

You can find my thoughts on the first 8 pages we got as previews here (page posting limit lol)

Nia understanding that while Jon often fights alone or for people, he desperately wants to fight alongside others or for them to fight for him.

This whole page is so great, I love the direct acknowledgement that Jon has been constantly fighting and all the times he had to fight alone. I will take the volcano and Ultraman where and whenever lol

Jon clearly has been suppressing his trauma and his constant fighting to make sure he doesn't lose anything like when he lost everything as a kid is clearly taking it's toll. Nia telling Jon he doesn't need to fight for everyone else constantly and it's okay to choose himself at times. This will come back in a conversation with Jay.

I am holding out having any feelings on this cause a large part of me refuses to believe DC would actually kill her, but if she is actually dead I'm gonna come back later and stare at this page in the saddest way possible.

He's so petty it kills me lmao

While it stresses me out to see them fight I love seeing them work through it, and it really shows the differences between them especially as this whole event has probably had a major impact on Jay in a negative way.

Jon realizing that he was trying to save the idea or memory of Nia over his Boyfriend after everything that's happened and deciding to prioritize what he wants, which is Jay. (more thoughts on this page at the end lol)

I think the Amazonians asking Jon for help was kind of a reminder to Jay of who Jon is at his core. Similarly to how Jon understood he probably can't dissuade Jay from hating Nia, I think Jay was reminded that Jon is just a forgiving and loving person, it is what drew Jay to Jon in the first place and that he shouldn't expect him to have the same reaction he has to Nia's death. I think Jay was going to say yes no matter what after this realization but I feel he normally would have thought about it more but decided to take that risk and give Jon a yes so he wouldn't be worried about it while in battle, you can see Jon flies away with a much more ready attitude.

Jon's "new place" is in his dreams, I had a worry Jon was just offering to live together with Jay because he thought it's what Jay would want but the fact that this is here means he has been dreaming of living in San Francisco for a while now, and the fact that Jay not being there destroying the dream really hits it home that being with Jay is what he wants. This is not Jon trying to make sure everyone in his life is happy at the cost of his own, this is Jon listening to what Nia told him to do and is choosing himself by following his dreams.

Final thoughts

Overall I really loved this issue and it really hit my expectations. It was very tough to follow at times but that's typical of dream sequences and this issue did it well, can't wait to see how Absolute Power ends and if Amanda will FINALLY face the consequences for her actions. I'll be holding out my comments on Nia until we know for certain she's dead, Nicole loves tormenting her characters so I wouldn't be surprised but I think she would also love to continue the beef between her and Jay. I'm extremely interested and hope Nicole or Sina do something in the future for Jay and Jon because right now they are probably the people at DC who I trust the most with the boys!!!

#dc comics #jon kent #jay nakamura #jayjon #jonathan samuel kent #jonjay #superman #absolute power #nia nal #sina grace #nicole maines

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reidsrambles · 8 months ago

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Your writing is amazing!!!!

Thank you so much! Any feedback on my writing seriously means the world to me. I do hope to write a full romance novel one day, so this entire fanfiction endeavour is largely to improve my writing!

As a thank you to you and to anyone who follows me or has read my last (aka, my first) fic, I'm going to share the first 1,000 or so words of my next fic, which will most likely be relatively long and in multiple parts. Because this piece is unfinished, this content contained in this preview is subject to change.

Preview (unnamed, release date TBD)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader General synopsis: You and your best friend Penelope Garcia work together as technical analysts for the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit. You and Spencer Reid have developed a romantic relationship since you've started there, but you both have decided to keep it to yourselves in order to avoid external influence from the team and additional complications at work. Unexpected events threaten the sacred secrecy of your relationship and you fear for the future and for the relationships you and Spencer have with your team. CWs (preview): Reader recalls, on page, being shamed for her creative outfit choices in the past. Words (preview): 956

[This preview is entirely SFW, but the finished work will be 18+ NSFW, so keep that in mind. The CWs listed are for the preview only. CWs and TWs for the final story will be posted whenever that is.]

Penelope Garcia finally shows herself at 10:08 a.m. As usual, she rolls into your shared office with the force of a tornado.

“Alrighty, Miss Y/N, we need to discuss the plans for your birthday party soon. I need a guest list because I need to figure out how much food I’m ordering and where we’re going to have it, since your apartment is pretty small and mine is only marginally bigger. I already asked him, and Rossi did say we could have it at his house, so that’ll probably be the best option.”

Before she takes her seat, she takes notice of your scowl and crossed arms, and her face falls. “Wait, what did I say wrong?”

“First of all, Penn, my birthday isn’t for another two months, and I told you that I’m fine with it just being you, me, and the team. Secondly, where have you been!? I’ve been here since nine, and it’s now…” you check your non-existent watch for dramatic effect, “past ten. You didn’t answer any of my calls or texts. Penelope Garcia, unreachable? I assumed that you were, quite literally, dead.”

“Two months is extremely soon when party-planning, I shall have you know! Wait, did I not tell you about that meeting I had with Hotch this morning?” she asks, genuinely puzzled.

Your curiosity is piqued. “No, but spill! Meeting with Hotch? What about?”

Penelope takes her seat, and you slide your swivel chair over to hers. Elbows on your knees and chin resting on your fists, you await her update like an excited child.

“It’s nothing that exciting, unfortunately, my sexy, salacious sidekick.”

“Don’t make me call HR again, Garcia,” you whisper. You give her a quick peck on the cheek and roll yourself back to your desk, only a few feet away, to resume working.

She drops a bomb as if it’s nothing. “Strauss wanted an update on how the team was doing, having two technical analysts. That’s all it was.”

The FBI hired you to work as a technical analyst with the Behavioral Analysis Unit just shy of your 25th birthday. You and your best friend Penelope Garcia met while she was presenting on behalf of the FBI at your then-school and her alma mater, Caltech. You were just starting your final year of undergrad in computer science, but you were unsure of where you wanted to go after that. The presentation was on the various technology careers within the FBI, of which technical analysts are one. You guessed that it made sense to try to recruit from one of the world’s most prestigious universities. She confidently marched up to the microphone wearing a bright pink pencil skirt, pink tweed jacket, and a cat ear headband, and you immediately knew you had to talk to her after the presentation, regardless of what she said up there.

You were always the one, even in high school, who had to match your outfits and accessories to a specific theme or color. You always dressed a bit more out there, and people have specifically chosen to bring it up to you before. In your first term of university, one professor mentioned your outfit as an example of how not to dress in a professional workplace. She was a woman, too. It probably wouldn't have hurt so badly coming from a male professor, but being shamed by a female professor did a number on your self-esteem.

Thankfully, your mom has always been your number one fan and biggest cheerleader. When you cried to her about your experience in class, she gave you the pep talk of a lifetime about how the world needs more people who are authentically themselves to bring color to the lives of the boring. She said you'd be the best computer scientist and look amazing while doing it. Mom's the oil painter, and your dad is an accountant, so the advice was very on par for her but extremely meaningful as well. Seeing another colorful, authentic woman, let alone one with a job at the FBI—which you had always viewed as a stuck-up, cold, and refined place to work—was immensely inspiring.

In addition to talking about technical analysts, she discussed the careers of digital forensic examiners, IT specialists, and computer scientists. She seemed so normal and down to earth, and you felt so excited by her presentation that you were actually taking notes. After her presentation, you headed over to see if you could speak with her. Before you could even start, she loudly gasped and began complimenting your outfit. You were wearing a lemon print sundress that day (since it was so hot), and you paired that with your lemon wedge purse, lemon slice necklace, and a matching yellow headband. Your gray backpack stood out like a sore thumb, but unfortunately, your laptop didn’t fit in your small citrus purse.

Penelope gave you her card, and you two became fast friends, and later, best friends. She really took you under her wing and literally became the older sister you never had. You knew you wanted to utilize your skill set to help fight crime, and right after you finished your masters, Penelope convinced her boss to hire you to work under her. Her cave was cozy with the amount of equipment she had in there, but being her best friend, she made room for you. Penelope had told you about how amazing her team was, but you had no clue what you were truly in for at the BAU.

“So after being here for two whole years, Strauss wanted to know if I was needed or if I could be cut from the team? That’s your idea of ‘no biggie’?” you ask, exasperated.

AO3 | Tumblr | Masterlist | Add yourself to my tag list

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x bau!reader #criminal minds fanfic #reidsrambles-writes

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kkskdeaddove · 10 months ago

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KakaSaku Dead Dove Week Wrap-Up!

We had 16 stunning and deliciously dark written submissions for the inaugural KakaSaku Dead Dove week and 2 breathtaking, mind-altering art submissions.

Please read the tags before checking out the full works. If something is going to make you uncomfortable, don't read it. You are responsible for curating your own fanfiction experience!

Thank you to everyone who participated, encouraged, commented, read, kudosed, and cheered on our amazing creators! Looking forward to future kksk dd events 🖤

Without further ado, here is the wrap-up!

appreciation by Anonymous

The one where the Land of Waves arc goes badly, but Momochi Zabuza's soft-spot for child-tools doesn't stop him from doing what has to be done.

The Hatake Heir by BelleDayNight

As the sole heir of the Hatake clan, Kakashi has known since he was five years old that he would marry the daughter of the Harunos. Sakura on the other hand is blissfully unaware that the man that will one day be her sensei is in fact her betrothed. There's a reason no man asks Sakura out on a date-- her husband has been quietly scaring them off for years...

Not a Love Like Mine, a Ruin by stargliders

Their captor hummed in contemplation. "This is my show, and whatever I say goes. I think I’ll start by shutting that smart mouth of yours for good." Kakashi closed his eyes, letting out a slow breath. "Take me instead." "But you…you can’t," Sakura said. The words she desperately wanted to tell him refused to come out. (I love you. Please, don’t die.)

take me down (won't you take me down) by xylazine

In a moment of reckless bravery, Sakura volunteers to be taken by none other than the demon of Konoha. Little does she realize how much she's in for.

Please, Please, Please (Let Me Get What I Want) by twofortea

Kakashi-sensei looked so different when he was sleeping.

Consequences by gremlint

Kakashi fucked around, and now he's going to find out. Or: the consequences of neglecting a brat's aftercare.

Hold On Tight by Typhlobasia

Konoha’s Official Exam for Head Interrogators, part two: required practical section, Combined Test of Shinobi Mental Perseverance. This is something Sakura knows she wants to pass for her team; she can persevere, can earn her title, do her part protecting the village, make Lady Tsunade proud for all the efforts she invested into her student over the years… But, seeing her moon-lit reflection in the hitai-ate on Kakashi’s forehead, her friend and former sensei towering over her as she is strapped into the interrogation chair, Sakura’s old fears slither their way back in. “So, Sakura…” Her eyes snap to his, hopeful. Pleading. Kakashi takes a small step forward on the stone floor, the sound of it sharp and echoing in the dim room, “shall we begin?”

Wolf in Scarecrow's Clothing by Fusionblitz28

In which Yamanaka Ino doesn't protect Sakura from bullies and becomes her first friend. Nor does Sakura obsessively crush over Uchiha Sasuke. Rather, her ANBU in shining armor and crush are one in the same person. Eventually the polish fades to reveal something rather unlike its original condition. Maybe it's always been that way and Sakura was too naive to see it sooner. OR; Sakura falls in love at five years old. With none other than one Hatake Kakashi. Kakashi exploits that.

La Petite Mort by rosebrided

“I love you, Sakura,” he whispers like she can hear him even now, the words coming out in a wisp of a breath. And then he adds, “Forgive me.” - In which Sakura is gone from this life, and Kakashi struggles to cope after discovering her body.

That Shattered Soul by twofortea

The bright green of her eyes had dulled, her expression made vacant. She was like a broken doll, a preview of what Sasori planned to turn her into.

cat nap by xylazine

Curled around his pink kitten, Kakashi the cat slips into a rather person like dream.

breathe me by twofortea

Every time the nightmares started up again, he found someone new to bury himself in. He lost himself in another person, another nameless face, another warm body—buried the nightmares in warmth, life, lust.

On The Brink by gremlint

Kakashi and Sakura have the unfortunate luck to be captured by some rather imaginative enemies. What they experience will change their relationship forever.

Dancing With a Ghost by stargliders

There was nothing else they could do. The talk therapy had failed. So had both rounds of electroshock. (The lightning Kakashi wielded all these years—had it made him immune? Even as Sakura watched his toes and fingers rattle against the table?) But a doctor in Kirigakure, Shizune explained, had recently invented a procedure that settled the overactive zones in the frontal lobes of the brain. Maybe, just maybe, he could be happy again.

Living-Dead by Komorebi_3

Obito Uchiha decides to send a clone to the 5 Kage summit and observe Naruto and Kakashi in the shadows after revealing information about Itachi and Sasuke. He finds himself a bit bored with the turn of events until a certain pink-haired Kunoichi strolls in confessing her love to Naruto. Everything about her reminds him of Rin and his already fragile state of mind just spirals out of control from there. Or, Obito becomes partially delusional and kidnaps Sakura for his own sick pleasure, but of course Kakashi Hatake can't let that happen so he volunteers to be taken instead.

No Good Deed by Heartensoul

Kakashi had given Sasuke so many chances to make it right—to do right by Sakura. Now, he was going to take matters into his own hands.

compulsion by xylazine

Kakashi has driven her mad with need for years until Sakura finally snaps and takes matters into her own hands.

Clone bang art by @spnfox

Captured by enemies art by @spnfox

Thank you all again! See you next time 😈😈😈

#kakasaku #kakasaku dead dove #kkskdd2024 #dead dove #dark fics #naruto events #naruto #masterlist #event wrap up

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crescencestudio · 1 year ago

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๋࣭⭑ Devlog 36 | 11.26.23 ๋࣭⭑

:rises from the dead: I'm.... BAAAAACK!!!!!!

Long time, no talk (kinda) everyone! I hope you've been happy, healthy, and well since we last saw each other and that the wind-down for the year is being kind to you all <3

We have a lot to catch up on, so let's do just that ^^ This is.... so long. I'm really sorry in advance tbh---I thought I hadn't done much because break, but there's quite a bit to show.

It's been a while since a formal update on the routes, so I'll start by telling you all where they officially stand. Before I do, it might be helpful to tell you all how I define percentage completion in my head. Basically, when I finish the draft of a route, I consider it 70% complete. This means I could ship it as is. I wouldn't be happy with the product, but it's playable and makes enough sense---just not the best quality.

When Wudgey finishes their edits, a route is 80%-85% complete, meaning I could ship it as is. I think it'd be pretty good actually and players would be happy. Beyond this point, I am just making fine tuning edits to incorporate more player interaction, polishing the flow of things, etc.

After that, there's basically only Elm and Vi's edits left. When Elm finishes, a route is 95% complete. Again, I think at this point, it's good. Like edits from this point onwards are purely for polishing purpose. After Vi, it's 98% complete. Then the last review comes back to Elm and I for it to be 100% complete. Right now, this is where the routes stand:

Kayn: 98% Complete

Fenir: 95% Complete

Druk: 80% Complete

Etza: 60% Complete (Still working on their draft!)

Do Not ask me about Kuna'a or Aisa LFMASOEIDJ

So most of the routes are actually looking pretty good! They're just getting bounced around to different editors at this point, but the changes made for most of them are basically small. Fenir and Kayn especially could be shipped as is in my eyes if I really wanted to.

Art recently has mostly been focused on commissions. Vui actually is almost done with ALL of the BGs for Alaris!! Isn't that crazy?? In about a year, he was able to create almost 25 BGs with daytime variations!!! He's a phenomenal artist, and I couldn't be happier to be working with him. It's also a bit bittersweet (and alarming??) to know that part of development is already close to ending! q.q

The most exciting art update I have is that we got the GUI assets finished and I've started coding them into the game!! AAAA!! These were the final updated assets I needed, and seeing the fully revamped demo come to life has been so.... Emotional HAHA! It's crazy to see how far Alaris has come from when I was first making it with my little fingies and throwing things together like paper mache. I'm incredibly in love with how all the assets look together, and I couldn't be more grateful for the artists who helped me update the assets!

Updated History Log. Please say you like the dividers between entries---I'm most proud of those

I'm still making my way through coding everything, but here's a couple screen previews so you all can see how things now look in the game!!

First off, is the Dialogue/Choice Screen. You can see that we have a brand new dialogue box (She's Stunning) and Choice Screen! I'm hoping to add some sfx for the choices when you hover over them, and sfx for the new UI in general so there's more user feedback when you click and hover on things. But for now, enjoy this preview of the new dialogue box, choice screen, and the new personality indicators!

Updated Dialogue/Choice Screen: You can't see it as well in GIF format, but the BG also has particles floating around, so there's a tiny bit of animation going on in some of the BGs as well!!

Next, we have the Free Time Screen. I actually posted this on Twitter recently but I don't think I posted it on Tumblr! ISN'T SHE STUNNING... ESPECIALLY WITH THE NEW BGS.... I'm especially happy with the text animations that show up at the bottom when you hover over the different choices! I was inspired by a couple other devs (specifically GUI god, @siyo-koy, and renpy animation master @just-a-carrot) to start incorporating animation style elements into my GUI. And I really like how it adds a little ~something~ to the feel of everything ^^

Updated Free Time Screen: begging someone to say they like the text animation so I feel validated for finangling with it

Finally, for our last preview, we have the Save Screen! While it looks new obviously with the new assets, I also did a lot of backend coding revamping for how it actually functions since my coding experience is a bit better now compared to when I was first fighting for my life figuring out save/load screens. The biggest change for you all is that there are now chapter markers so save slots will tell you what chapter that save file is from! And instead of screenshots, it's now a custom icon inside that shows the chapter card. I think it'll make the save screen look more cohesive now and hopefully more intuitive as well!!

Updated Save Screen: With a sprinkle of updated Chapter Card screen preview

That was long. Are any of us surprised, considering I had two months' worth of devlogs piled inside of me, begging to burst from the seams?

Anyways. Only two miscellaneous updates. One is that all soundtracks have been completed for Alaris! Peter finished the last of them recently, and they're all beautiful!!! For ppl who love piano soundtracks... :holds hand in piano lover solidarity:

Other update is that I finally fixed that godforsaken sprite bug that was associated with the energy vision feature from the demo!!! FINALLY!!! AFTER.... SO LONG. Extremely huge thanks to @robobarbie for taking time out of their day to do that; everyone please say thank you!!!!! OGs know how long that bug was bothering me!!!! Robo also gave me a pretty new rain code, so I'm showing you how both look in the new demo so you can appreciate them with me!!

Last miscellaneous update is more on a.... logistical development level?? Basically, now that I have new GUI assets to code, that means I can get a beta build of the routes currently written out. I was feeling really overwhelmed by that idea because most of this year has been focused on writing and making assets, not really coding. Knowing that I can Code and get Playable Builds out to people was stressful because I have to divvy up my time a bit more.

After an extremely insightful talk with beloved and admired Esh of @steamberrystudio I decided I'm probably going to be shifting how development goes from here on out. Instead of focusing head low on getting as many words written for the remaining routes everyday, I'm going to be making smaller but consistent progress and spend the rest of my time coding so that I can have more of a continuous cycle of production going on (e.g., writing a bit, making playable builds, gathering playtester feedback, etc. instead of doing each stage in blocked, sequential order).

I'm mainly telling you all this because it means writing updates will probably seem slower from this point on, but I think production overall will be more efficient because of it! This is also exciting news for playtesters and/or early access backers/patrons because it means you'll have playable content in the near future for content outside of just the demo :')

have u all heard of wudgeous of herotome. of course u have. they r all i talk about at this point

No market research because I've actually been addicted to BG3 LFMAOLSDJF. Actually, I'm taking some inspiration from it for the personality mechanic but eh.

On a more important note, @herotome demo is coming out December 2nd!!!! PLAY IT WITH ME. Wudgey is my editor, so you might think I'm biased but I'M NOT!!! I WAS A FAN OF HEROTOME BEFORE WUDGEY EVEN WORKED W ME!!! They have an exception eye for detail and player experience, and they are actually one of the devs that inspired me to even get into game development.

I just know the demo is going to blow everyone's socks off. OG Herotome prologue build fans know exactly what I'm talking about. Please mark December 2nd on your calendar---you will not regret it.

This was so unbelievably long, but I hope it's appreciated since there was no real devlog update for a hot minute. As always, Thank you all for your patience and continued support. With the year ending soon, I'm getting wrapped up in my feels in usual Crescence fashion. I am a Cancer so no one is surprised.

Next month will probably be more of an end-of-year devlog rather than the usual format. I know the devlogs of late have been all over the place, but once we get into the new year, it will be back to business as usual! Hope you all have a wonderful end to your year; I'll talk to you soon! <3

#alaris #devlog #bitches don't stop talking #aka me i'm bitches #also why did i shout out so many devs in this devlog #usually its like only one #that one being seyl of ravenstar games who i share a codependent relationship with #SODIFJ

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afictionalwhor3 · 4 months ago

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I just finished watching HOTD and I have sm thoughts rumbling inside my head and I’m going to try my best to get them out in a way that makes sense

HOTD 2.07 Spoilers Ahead

- The ending of this episode saved it sm omggg. And please I understand why these side characters need this story building. Esp Daemon, I think we as viewers have been robbed in a lot of ways of seeing Daemon as a multi dimensional emotional character. However, this is why shows need to go back to 24 episode seasons. When there’s only 10 episodes before we lose these characters for two years I wanna see more action and not so much story building.

- The scene with Jace, my bbg 😖🫣🫠. I loved that scene bc it shows that Jace is insecure. He realizes what people say abt him and in some ways he probably believes it as well. Bc even if he has “plain” features the thing that separated him from the small folk was his claim to a dragon. Now that the small folk can claim dragons it’s like he is one of them. And I understand those frustrations (if we had 24 episode seasons 🙄) I would’ve loved to see wherever he went and have like a private moment amongst himself or even with Baela

- Daemon, Daemon, Daemon 😭😭. I’m sorry but him tripping acid in Harenhal is so genuinely funny to me. In seriousness tho we stan Oscar Tully cuz we love seeing Daemon humbled. The way he was able to spin the situation and make Daemon the uncomfortable one? Yeah you ate down mama

- The scenes with Matt and Paddy are just so good their chemistry off the charts. And the fact it was Paddy’s suggestion to do the scene as decrepit Viserys makes it even better bc it’s Viserys telling Daemon here the crown is yours, you’ve always wanted it, but while I hand it to you, look what it did to me.

- As someone who has not read the books, I saw that in the books Rhaena was happy in the Vale and that makes me sick cause that girl deserves it. Pray she claims a dragon next episode.

- Can a book person confirm is Alyssa had a sister? Cause ik with the kings guard from last episode (sorry I’m bad with names) they like made up Aerianna? So I wanna know if Hugh’s mom actually existed. Also hate hm character development/screen time he’s gotten as opposed to other side characters makes me sick.

- All those small folk in Dragonstone had me like, idk sista, but Rhaenyra seriously gained infinite aura points being able to calm Verthimor down.

- Vermithor knew damn well he ain’t have to burn all them people like that. Which leads me into my point that I love that these dragons have personalities. Like Syrax is literally just a girl, Vermithor is hot headed, Vhagar is an old lady, I just love that aspect of the show and someone give us a dragon personality fic

- Ulf stumbling onto a dragon like that I thought for sure he was dead. And also another clutch of dragon eggs???? Do they not know abt silverwing? Sm questions but when he went to kings landing I thought for a moment he was going to claim House Hightower. And when Aemond got to a haggard she was like “not again cmon”

- PERIOD THE DRAGON AT THE END WITH HER CREW BEHIND HERRRR!!! FUCK AEMOND WE DONT NEED HIMMMM!!! Such a boss power move like that was epic

- My favorite part abt next weeks preview was seeing Aemond tell Haelena she would have to ride Dreamfyre. Like she’s not meant yo be a warrior princess she’s meant to run in a field of flowers

But those are my thoughts if you somehow read this whole thing awesome and let’s talk in the comments I love talking abt these things it makes my day!!!!

#hotd #hotd season 2 #hotd s2 #hotd spoilers #hotd thoughts

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vad-hander · 4 months ago

Text

LET’S KEEP IT SECRET Pt.4

pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Yuta

others: SM Rookies, multiple SM and JYP idols

words: 11k

side note: it's been a really long while, I hope you'll enjoy this one! p.s. good news at the end of chapter

as usual, I'll appreciate all your feedback and thoughts!

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5

You couldn't work out how did you wake up in your dorm room. The birthday plan was you and Jaehyun have your party at his place and if the two of you are lucky enough you’ll get back to life by noon the next day and return to dorms before outside gets dark again.

You took a glance at your phone - the lock screen showed you barely any notifications. No messages from Yuta, not a single one from Jaehyun. You took a glance at Koeun's name on the lower part of the screen, preview letting you see it was just a meme. Your head hurt because of the drinks you had, your body hurt from what you and Yuta did and your heart hurt from what happened between you and your boyfriend and your best friend. You could still very clearly remember Jaehyun’s face when you told him you were leaving, you’re not even sure he heard what you said about Yuta, with the way his eyes became all teary when you told him you were leaving. You were sure your head mostly hurt thanks to the drama you underwent in the little amount of12 hours, including your mom’s history lesson. You wanted to get lost in the sheets, never get up and disappear completely. Somehow you remembered every bit of that - but not how you were able to leave Jaehyun on your own. At least, you were safe on the girls floor, that you knew for sure.

You never experienced a hungover before and if people suffered so much after they had a couple of drinks you really were doubting human sanity. You moved slowly against the wall, leaning onto it for support like you starved in the woods for weeks. The water dispenser at the counter was your guiding star and the only reason you were moving your feet a little quicker than a tortoise. Reaching for the cup in a cabinet above it, you didn't bother to wait for a full cup of water, gulping on the much needed water. You refilled it like fifteen times because every time there was not more than 3 gulps of water.

"You're okay, right?" you jumped slightly in place at the voice right behind you, spilling the water over your sleeping shirt.

"Ning?" You turned around “You’re moving around like a ghost."

"I was here before you crawled out like a cave woman. On the couch." the girl smiled at you not being able to keep her eyes off you. You were dreading the moment you had to look in the mirror and your friends eyes for sure made you wonder even more about your current mirror reflection. "I'm surprised you're up and alive."

"Huh? Why?" You asked confused. "I can't remember anything, if I'm being honest."

"I guessed." she swallowed a giggle and pursed her lips to try and look normal.

"What is up with your mysterious face expression?" you smiled at her confused. Did you embarrass yourself more past night? You'd prefer not to know but maybe you needed to just in case, there’s only so much shame one person can carry- "Will you not tell me?"

"I will." she laughed. "Do you by any chance remember calling Koeun?" your head gave Ning a negative answer "Koeun's phone rang at half 5 in the morning in our room. A very loud ringing, mind you. We got up because of her phone and it turned out it’s you who called her. You cried into the phone how you're messy and a problem and Koeun panicked immediately. I took the phone out of her hand to work out what was happening. I figured you were dead drunk. We tried to ask you where you were but you kept on saying you were in hell and that was the right place for you to be." NingNing spoke quickly, making it hard for you to distinguish certain words with a little accent she still had.

"Jesus." you gulped embarrassed, this definitely was one epic way to end your SM training.

"I almost thought you were pranking us but Koeun said you were supposed to be with Jaehyun in the evening and something must've happened to you two. I had to calm down both you on the phone and Koeun in the room. I really tried to understand your whereabouts but you were blabbering some nonsense and half of what you were saying were words I don’t understand. Koeun was literally one step away from calling the manager when a car outside honked. I heard the same sound on your side so I figured you were near the dorms. We ran out of the building and you were half laying on the sidewalk, your feet stretched out on the road. I guess the car almost drove over you that's why they honked. Anyway, we tried to pull you into the building, but that's another long story to tell."

"What? Why?" You were indeed in hell.

"You were protesting to get on your 2 feet, you wanted to crawl, were asking us to do the same and then you started crying, like full on shedding tears. You said it was because you missed your dad and you were so happy to see Koeun. Then you started screaming at us to call Yuta." You gulped at the mention of his name.

"Did you? Did you call him?" You tried not act like somehow the mention of your maybe ex-lover was the only part in that story you sincerely cared for.

"No, it was 5 in the morning, how do you imagine me calling him at this time." She paused to let you process her answer. NingNing always was the most mature one, every step of the way, despite the commonly bubbly personality. “What I really don't get is how you got home in one piece in that state. That's real luck right here." Ning sighed, before getting curious. "Where did you get so shit faced? With Jaehyun?"

"Have you seen Jaehyun?" If he weren't with you it was just weird how he vanished into thin air. You could obviously remember telling him you loved Yuta. You could clearly remember bursting into tears afterwards and you remember pouring more drinks for yourself while Jaehyun was processing your words, sat down on the floor. The rest though, you could not work out how Jaehyun allowed you to leave in that state.

"No, you were alone."

"I gotta go find him." You hugged the cup to your chest, walking away. "I'm so sorry, for the night and thank you so much, you and Koeun. I'll find Koeun later. I hope you're okay with me asking you to not tell anybody about this embarrassing situation.“

"Yeah" the girl chuckled "No problem."

“Appreciate it.“ You smiled awkwardly and took off.

You sprinted back into your room in a much more lively manner than you expected yourself to have. Entering the room first thing you did is reaching out to your phone to dial Jaehyun - he hung up on you after a single ring. Was he asleep, sick or just busy? It was the first time in your friendship he didn't pick up a call, you immediately opened the chat with him.

[14:34] to Jaehyun: call me back pllsss

[14:34] to Jaehyun: where are you?

[14:35] to Jaehyun: i can't remember shit and i'm at the dorm

Even though the call was immediately declined Jaehyun did not read your message. Not 1 or 2 or 5 minutes later. You gulped and thought that he maybe is not feeling well too, maybe he's at the dorm by now and dying in his bed.

You wanted to see him and more specifically you wanted to know that the two of you were good, just in case. You still didn’t know what was his reaction to you and Yuta, you couldn’t remember shit of what he possibly said or did. You jumped into the shower to wash up your hair and body. Scrub away yet the worst birthday you had in all your life, and oh boy did you have a whole darn book of terrible birthdays.

Fresh out the shower with a water bottle in hands you transferred yourself to the boys floor.

You doubted whether you should knock or open the door with the code both Yuta and Jaehyun told you. You opted for knocking, hearing too many stories prior of the boys walking around almost naked. As your knuckles made three rhythmical bangs on the surface, you tried to hear what was happening behind that door. The room seemed silent, maybe, they were all out, maybe you should type in that code. You knocked once again, when the lock made a sound and the handle turned and you saw it finally open.

"I-" you started to explain yourself, that you needed to see Jaehyun and you're very much sorry to whoever it was at the door but stopped yourself after the first sound. Of all people on the floor it had to be Yuta. He worked out your presence around the same time, dropping the door handle and immediately walking away. Your first instinct was to follow behind and you did so, noticing how when the door to his room opened his roommate was sitting on the bed and you stopped. You didn't find it in you to walk in and interrupt. Mainly because you didn't have time to prepare a single thing to tell him.

You knocked on a door once again, when you knew for sure it was to Jaehyun’s room.

"Jaehyun?" you murmured into the door. "Are you here?" The dorm was surprisingly dead tonight, you could hear silence behind the door, same for the rest of the area surrounding it. Total emptiness and quietness scared you a little, like everyone disappeared because something happen. Did something happen to Jaehyun? The thought sent chills down your spine and you gripped onto the bottle like it was your anchor. You stood under the door a little longer, ready to fall on the floor as fear, tiredness and hungover fought through your body. "Guess you're not here, right? I hope you're okay and home, then." You sighed and still didn't move. Dialling his phone once more only to end up with the same lack of answer.

Yuta appeared in the hall once again and your head turned in that direction, still pressing your forehead against Jaehyun’s door.

"No one's in there." he said coldly as his eyes briefly looked at you.

"Did he come home yesterday?"

"I'm not his secretary." you gave him a nod, he was right. It was painful to hear him talk to you in that tone though. You swallowed to not cry and paced away back to the exit.

“Even if you aren’t, maybe you heard anything from him? I can’t reach him, I can’t remember how I left him and if he’s okay.“ You pleaded one last time. You couldn’t go on with your life like it was okay when your best friend was possibly missing.

“I. Don’t. Know.“ Yuta grumbled annoyed. Did he not understand you were worried for his friends well being? Did he not care?

“Fine.“ You sighed in return and turned on your heels to leave. ”Actually, no. Can I say a little something, before I leave?” you mustered some courage, purposefully vaguely defining leaving, because both leaving the floor and the dorm and company were more than relevant for your situation.

”Whatever.” Yuta snorted and opened the fridge. Good, him hiding behind that fridge made it easier for you to speak your truth.

”If you want to break up with me, then fine, I’ll accept that, you don’t have to worry. Just go ahead and do it now, in my face, while we still have the chance to see each other like that. I’ll be the one to say last words, though, since you’re acting like that. Maybe-, no. I was wrong for not sharing the news earlier, you have every right to be mad at me for this, I accept I was stupid for not saying I’m going to train under a different company now, but you know what? You will not make me feel ashamed for wanting to have a future. You will never understand, because you weren’t in the same situation, you can't possibly understand how it feels to not get into the final line up for the group you trained so hard for. You cannot blame me for taking the opportunity I was given. I am not sorry for that, I am not going to beg for forgiveness because of my decision. I will only say sorry for keeping it a secret for too long. I couldn’t find the right time to tell you, and you all always either away or very busy and every time I thought I had a chance to share it would always be irrelevant to the context. Because I couldn’t reply at your words with hey, by the way I’m leaving. I shouldn’t have delayed the announcement to all of you. And…” you wiped the tear off your cheek. ”And you’re a total fool! Because you were saying all those things about fighting and working on our relationship and the moment you get the chance to prove that you are ready to fight through hardships you run away! Like a real fool! But you know what, I don’t regret anything. I really don’t. Want to know why? Because we would’ve broken up anyway once you debuted, once you moved out as a member of that group! You wouldn’t try to fight then either, but it would be YOU to blame! You!” You ended up with an accusation, you didn’t plan to tell him that. But it only felt right - the conclusion came to you the very right moment you were saying it. What would be the difference? He’d still let go of you, if he acts like this now. It’s only better to end it earlier, before you get too deep and hurt too much. Like It weren’t too late by now. You tried hard not to think of your intimacy yesterday, it would literally make you bawl your eyes out.

”Will you shut up for a second?” Yuta sighed tiredly.

”What?”you expected an answer - you didn’t expect him to be so unhinged.

“I wasn’t trying to break up with you. I just need time, okay?“ He peeked from behind the fridge. Not a single muscle on his face unveiled to you what he was feeling. You couldn’t understand if you should feel relieved with his answer, for some reason it didn’t make you feel anything. “You can go and continue with your dream, I’ll let you know when I’m through with the fact you won’t be around much.“

“Yuta-.“ You sighed. While he was trying to process the news he was wasting your precious time to spend together. You still didn’t know what your schedule would be like at your new agency. You didn’t even know who you’d live with, who you’d train with. It was all so nerve-racking and you needed someone’s support, you needed Yuta’s support and he wasn’t able to give you that. You felt hurt, too.

“No, Jaehyun didn’t come back here. He’s probably at home. You can go.“ he stared right at you and you nodded, turning back to the door.

“I’m leaving tomorrow. By midday my dad will come help to move everything to the other place. If you want to, you can come see me any time before that. I’ll be in my room packing.“ you paused before the door, expecting at least a sigh so you’d know he was considering, but Yuta kept the silence painfully loud.

[15:43] To Jaehyun: why is the line dead on your side?

[15:46] To Jaehyun: are you okay?

[15:52] To Jaehyun: I’m worried

[16:01] To Jaehyun: I consider calling your parents if you won’t reply

You dropped more messages to Jaehyun as he was missing, still. It felt horrible, you couldn’t stop worrying if his silence is him giving you a cold shoulder, silent treatment and everything he could do to show you he didn’t want to deal with you anymore. You never imagined the downfall of your relationship before because it seemed like it could never happen, but here you were, experiencing very much that. You couldn’t pack, you were overanalysing and overthinking and mostly hyperventilating, making it hard for you to focus on packing. No matter how hard you tried to remember what the two of you were doing after your confession - you couldn’t. You couldn’t even remember if Jaehyun agreed to revel his part of the secret to you. Yesterday you had a boyfriend and a best friend and today you were left with nothing and you didn’t even leave the company yet, you had very real doubts now if the decision you made was right. Did you make the right choice? What if it was better for you to stay at the company - in the comfort of people you loved, continue working to reach your dream within your current company. You suddenly remembered Jaehyun’s words, when he tried to cheer you up. What if they’re planning to make a BoA of our generation out of you? What if they were and you blew it out the window now? You were ready to shed tears, sitting in the middle of your room with the suitcase half still half empty. Thankfully, you were interrupted, your phone rang and without a look you knew who it was. One single calm breath on the other side of the call and a flower inside your chest bloomed.

“You scared me so badly.“ you half-whispered into the phone.

“I-, ugh, I’m just sleeping at home. I’m sorry, I didn’t see.“ Jaehyun’s voice sounded funny. Like a morning voice mixed with a sore throat and something else you couldn’t describe.

“You’re all good?“ You had to hear it from him ,that he was completely fine.

“Yes, just sleeping.“ Jaehyun seemed off. Did he seem off to you because you felt off or because there was something wrong between you two too, but he was kind enough to call to calm you down. Would it be okay if you’d ask him straight or should you give him space and time to come up with explanation of his own?

“If you’re not asking me why I’m not right next to you, I guess you know when and how I left?“ Your patience was wearing out, you had to ask him straight.

“I do.“ Well its good to know, you almost said out loud.

“Can you enlighten be please? Girls found me next to the dorm alone, dead drunk and I can’t remember anything at all.“

“Ugh, you just wanted to go back to your bed.“ Jaehyun cleared his throat, but it didn’t make him sound any better than before. “And I couldn’t stop you, so you got in a taxi and left.“ It’s not really the explanation you were expecting. You didn’t know what you expected either, but whatever it was, it felt a little not it.

“Did we fight? You sound upset. I’m so sorry if I said or did something wrong.“ You murmured apologetically into the phone. “I can’t remember shit but I love you.“

“How much do you not remember?“ He was curious now and sounded more lively.

“Like when I told you…ugh.“ It felt so fucking awkward to say it out loud now, when things felt so differently. “When I told you about the company and about Yu-Yuta.“ You stuttered for no reason. It felt new to talk about Yuta in such way to anyone, but moreover it felt sickening because you couldn’t work out how could it change to this uncertainty so quickly. “When I poured myself more after that, I blanked out. I don’t even remember if you repeated what was your secret.“

“Well you remember pretty much all the important parts.“ Jaehyun’s words sounded like his mouth was tucked into the pillow.

“I don’t remember what you think of all this and that’s the most important part.“ you stated angsty. “Your secret is obviously the most important, my nosy self really wants to remember what you told me yesterday.“ You chuckled, in case it would make him feel better.

“Well…“ Jaehyun’s breath hitched and he didn’t need to use words to let you know he was upset with your departure. “I am going to miss you terribly. So frea-, so fucking much.“ he found it important to slip in the profanity. No word could ever describe what he felt inside.

“You know my new dorm is not far from this one.“ you tried to hold on to the string of positivity that held you from breaking down.

“Even if it would be in the building next to this, everything is going to change.“ his voice didn’t reflect anything but regret and pain. You felt a hot tear roll down your cheek, you were just so upset with the way it hurt him, you didn’t want Jaehyun to hurt. “I’m scared of those changes.“ He admitted vulnerably in a whisper.

“I’m so sorry.“ You sobbed.

“What? No-, don’t cry. Everything’s for the best, don’t cry, please, I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me, since you don’t remember anything I had to tell you yesterday. It doesn’t mean I’m not proud of you. I’m so happy for you if this is what’s going to bring you to your dream.“ He really put in effort to change the manner of the way he spoke and his cheeriness only made you sicker.

“I will miss you too. More than anyone.“ the line went quiet. You could hear his steady heavy breaths and Jaehyun could probably hear your little sniffs. You really tried to calm down, but now you couldn’t, not before you’ll get a chance to hug him. “When are you coming back home?“ You asked knowing way too well that Jaehyun never felt that way about the dorm when all it took for him to get back home a short ride on the bus.

“Ugh, I need to get up first, and then clean the house and when I’m done with all that I’m having dinner with my parents and only then I’ll get back.“ It sounded like he read his chores off to do list.

“Do you want me to come help clean?“ You had to ask, you never had the intention to leave him one on one with the mess.

“No, it’s fine.“ Of course he protested.

“I feel horrible, I made you upset and now won’t even help to clean up the mess mostly I made.“ Your fingers caught still falling teardrops that burned the skin of your cheeks. You felt like a giant bubble of nerves that was about to burst.

“It’s fine, it was your birthday, you’re still allowed to be the princess the next day. I’ll message you once I’m back at the dorm. If you’re not with Yuta for the rest of your time with us, I’ll be glad to see you.“ You wanted to protest at his silly comment but the sound died somewhere in your throat on the second syllable. Before you could master up courage to say anything else Jaehyun hung up on you.

Your eyes ran once again over the walls and the ceiling of the room you got used to calling your home. Now that your weak attempt at mood board sort of display above your bed was packed in one of the boxes, the room looked very depressing. Just white walls, all furniture pieces opened wide to make sure nothing was left behind. Koeun weeped behind you and you quickly got yourself together, turning to see the girl.

“It’s fine.“ your attempt at calming her down was so weak it made you feel pathetic and on the verge of crying too. You didn’t want to bawl your eyes out, you had less than 2 hours before meeting your new family, you had to keep yourself together and be presentable for the sake of good first impression. You were thinking like your mom because her nagging was finally suitable for the situation.

“I will really miss you.“ Lami mumbled shyly, tucking her face in your chest as you pulled her in a hug. Koeun reached for you too and now you had two girls crying their eyes out into your body. It was almost impossible for you not to join them.

“I’m here! I’m here!“ Your mood for tears was ruined by Ningning, who by the sound of the main door locking, just got back to the dorm. “I’m here, I made it in time!“ She announced happily, but stopped dead on her tracks confused a moment later. “Oh god, what is this? Ugly crier competition?“ she giggled and pouted straight after. “Y’all stop crying I have practice today, I can’t cry!“ She whined, sinking in the mood completely.

“Then don’t cry.“ You laughed and sniffled, trying to get rid of incoming tears.

“I am not.“ Ningning reached for your hugging group, her head resting against Lami’s nape. “We prepared a little gift for you. Just a little something to remember us by. Some boys took part in this but I couldn’t find them, so we’ll just gift our gift on behalf of everyone.“

“You all really didn’t have to.“ you protested, trying to see what Ning referred to.

“Sh, you didn’t even see yet what it is.“ The girl waved you off.

“Okay.“ you gave in and girls let go of you, allowing for Ning to reach a small gift bag your way. You quickly took it from here, looking inside. Your fingers ran over the object that somewhat felt like a book, so you fished it out of the bag curious and confused.

“It’s a photo album of our memories together.“ Ning commented. “Guys helped to arranged things appropriately for your entire time-being here, before I arrived too.“

“Since day one.“ Koeun nodded, all 3 sets of eyes staring at you expectantly, while you couldn’t move. Your fingers froze over the photo that was glued onto the cover of the photo album. Your first group photo with all your fellow trainees. Many people in that photo already left the company, some were real idols by now and part of your friend group weren’t even training back when that photo was taken. Your eyes could only focus on you and Jaehyun standing right next to each other, both with faces full of ambition and hope, just happy to finally be one step closer to your dream. Back then you would’ve never guessed how badly it’d hurt you, moving on and leaving him here. Back then you would’ve never guessed that you could have a bond like that with someone. But back then you would’ve also never guessed that you’ll be cut you from the final line up and you would’ve definitely never guessed you’d feel so heart-broken and left out.

“Oh my god.“ Ningning sobbed, as her eyes trailed down the wet stain on your cheek. “I’m crying now too, and you didn’t even see our gift properly. There’s more in the bag.“

“Am I going to make you upset, if I’ll look at everything later? I can’t cry right now.“ Your fingers reached to catch the teardrops.

“Sure, yes.“ Girls nodded in reassurance.

“Thank you, say thank you to everyone. I-, thanks to you I have a family. And it’s not like we won’t talk to each other after this! I just have a feeling we’ll be able to see each other all the time. Imagine, like, having waiting rooms next to each other at music shows?“ Koeun nodded, wiping her tears away. You wanted to add that having rooms next to each other wouldn’t compare to sharing one room and going on stage together, but you really didn’t want to make people cry any harder and you stopped right there. “My dad is in the car outside, I think I should go.“ besides it really being your call to leave, your dad really was in the car with all your stuff packed.

“Right.“ They stood in a line, freeing the space for you to go.

“Bye-bye!“ You gave them an awkward wave. “I will miss you.“

“We will miss you too.“ They waved back and you left the dorm, pausing right behind the door to take a couple of breaths. Your eyes glued to the stairs, three flights and you’ll be in front of the boys’ door. But should you? You couldn’t decide whether or not you should go and force them see you when they so obviously decided not to do so.

Jaehyun didn’t come see you upon his return to the dorm yesterday. You weren’t sure what time he got back, but you send him a message, telling him what time you’re leaving just in case he did want to say goodbye. He was your best friend, he should want to see you, you thought. You waited and waited, but Jaehyun neither replied or come. You didn’t even have a single string of hope alive Yuta would show up, you just convinced yourself Jaehyun would be enough and now even your best friend seemed to not find it important enough to be with you. You swallowed and called for the elevator. Well, it’s not on you, if they didn’t want to come say bye - its on them, you literally send both of them an RSVP.

You walked slowly towards the glass door that would take you outside and forever out of this building. The moment you step out - there’s no coming back, you understood it and that’s exactly why you were dragging your feet so slowly. It would make the transfer so real, it would crash it onto the realms of your very current reality with no time to get used to it. No time to adjust to the idea of not having people in this building as your family, One step further - and there’s no coming back. You could rationalise with yourself, leaving company didn’t imply you have to lose all connection with your friends, it didn’t mean you couldn’t come over for hanging out, it’s not like their phones won’t answer your calls, but it felt like both Yuta and Jaehyun put a dot on your relationships themselves. The door finally was right before your eyes, you reached for the handle and froze. That very last string you were holding on to, pulled you back. Your head snapped back to the elevators in a forceful motion, making a cracking sound with how much hope you had in that ding. Maybe you left something in your room and girls needed you to come back to pick it up? But it was even better.

Jaehyun called your name once again, walking out the elevator, when you didn’t give him any reaction in response, Yuta trailing right behind him. While your best friend stared at you affectionally, the boy behind him stared down on his shoes, tongue against his cheek.

Your mouth opened and closed multiple times, Jaehyun taking a few steps towards you, shortening the distance between you two to an arm’s length, your eyes quickly snapping to Yuta, that stayed next to the elevator like he didn’t want to be here. Or maybe just gave you and Jaehyun space to not eavesdrop?

“Girls said you already left. I was so scared we missed you.“ Jaehyun whispered, you could barely hear him at the distance, but you could very clearly feel the aftershocks in his voice. “I figured you would want to see Yuta before leaving.“ he added on a brighter note, gesturing at Yuta behind him. Your heart hurt even worse than before. You ran up to Jaehyun and squeezed him in your hands “I love you“ you whispered into his chest. How did he always find ways to make you feel better when you felt like it rolled down to hell?

“I already miss you. Please never stop being my best friend. Promise?“ Jaehyun whispered into your hair, his palm rubbing your back in calming motion.

“I won’t. Ever. I love you.“ You were sobbing again but with Jaehyun’s warmth against your body you had no chance to hold back or to stop. He was the closest thing to home, when the real one was far away and felt like shit. He was your first friend here, he was your very best friend in the whole wide world and maybe from time to time both of you had very real attachment issues when it came to one another, you loved him dearly. It wouldn’t be the same, you will miss frivolously coming downstairs to spend your time with him, late night walks around the dorm, lunches at the company and coffee afterwards. There were so many things that will not be impossible from now on, they would just be so difficult its painful for you to think of it.

“Love you.“ He whispered back and moved your head away to take a look at your face. It’s like he was trying to remember every feature on it, every crinkle and wrinkle, like he won’t ever see you again. “Okay, I’m going to go back to practice. We ran away from practice just to say goodbye. Will give you two some private time.“ He smiled and let go of you. You couldn’t just watch him walk away like that, you squeezed his fingers in your hold and Jaehyun turned around to see you once more. “You’ll be fine. You’re only the most talented and beautiful girl I have ever met. You have nothing to worry about there. I’m just one call away.“ Jaehyun rubbed your knuckles with his thumb, forcing your hold off his hand, pacing quickly to exit.

“I-.“ Both you and Yuta started talking the moment the door closed behind Jaehyun. Yuta paused and you were thankful. You didn’t know how long would your dad sit in his car and wait, he could possibly walk in on you two any minute. Yuta quickly shortened the distance between you two, in that cherry chilled way with a little sway to his hips.

“I love you, Yuta. Nothing changed for me. I don’t know how I’ll continue without you right beside me. We were just fine 2 days ago, in my room here and at home, and now I can’t even call you , because I fear being refused. I-“ You took steps closer to the boy, hooking your fingers above his elbows. Yuta’s fingers, surprisingly, caressed your cheek, asking for your eyes to move up and meet his. As you did so, Yuta laid his lips atop yours, gently kissing your mouth like you were in the comfort of either of your rooms, his fingers carefully taping the skin at the base of your neck. You kissed him back with abandon, you were trying to tell him you cared for him, loved him, that you were sad and scared and confused about everything, but your love for him. He pulled back, his fingers spreading over the base of your neck.

“Go there and make me proud.“ he whispered against your cheek. You took a peek in his eyes, he didn’t really need a reply, it was a call to action, not call to conversation. It was very much a dot in the interaction you were having. You just gave him a nod and turned around without a goodbye, your eyes focusing on the reflection in the glass door. Yuta teased the ring on his necklace.

“Can you take your mask off?“ Jaehyun lowered the tone of his voice. His fingers pressing the tissue laying on the table mere centimetres from yours. You just shook your head no and continued to look at him from under your hat. “Why? I haven’t seen you in so long.“ he pleaded and his fingers finally closed off the awkward distance to yours, fidgeting them in his hold, before you hid your hand back under the table.

“You know the answer.“ you mumbled apologetically. You didn’t want to flip out that card on him again. You’ve told the same thing to him so many times you were lost yourself if it was reality or an excuse or a mixture of both and you were going literally insane.

“I don’t, really. I just want to see my best friend’s face. We haven’t seen each other in three months. You didn’t even come to celebrate my debut.“

“I couldn’t, I wasn’t allowed to skip practice. I told you, things are much stricter here, than what we used to have. We celebrated your actual first debut with NCT U, it counts.“ You tried to give him a smile, that was completely hidden under the mask, and remind him that back in April you were still at the company with him.

“Anyway, it doesn’t give you any reason to hide from me.“ Jaehyun tried to fight you, it seemed, before a thought flew through his brain, you could see the way thought process worked in his head. “Did they do something to your face? Like a surgery?“ He tried to peak more properly at the skin that he was allowed to see. No, they didn’t do anything to you, the mask was your shield from true emotion.

“No, I’m not under SM anymore. JYP doesn’t really do that thing, they scout pretty people.“ You said and then realised what it sounded like.

“Is everything okay? You seem tense.“ Jaehyun wouldn’t back down and you were glad the mask was set firmly over your face and the hat made it almost impossible to see your eyes. If he’d press a little longer he’d see you fall apart in front of him. He’d see your built up confidence faint in a puff. He’d have to hear you sob at how much you miss him, and the girls and all your friends at the dorms. Having him bring you things as a surprise every time he saw you, walking back home in those large groups of sweaty and messy teenagers, listening to wild things everyone were doing at their first schedules. You even caught yourself thinking sometimes that you might’ve missed the staffs that worked with you and that specific taste of the water that was in every practice room, the SM water that you joked so much with your friends about. At the end of the day you just missed Yuta, if you were brave enough you would’ve put him at the top of those things you missed, but you couldn’t even start thinking of him. You were going to throw up right then and there.

“It is. I told you before, my company have all those girl trainees and is planning to run everyone through different contest shows to decide on their future girl group shortlist. I’m not participating in those.“ You started slowly out of shyness, Jaehyun though, bless his heart, formed a shocked o with his mouth and almost jumped in fear in his chair. “It’s only because they are sure about me. They know they want me to debut, they’re certain with that decision.“ Those SM roots is what can really help you be the backbone of a group, be the centre of it. That’s not your bragging, that’s literal words of heads of some departments in your new company. In the past months you had to undergo a whole lot of evaluations and most of them included JY Park, making you flabbergasted every time. Many of those evaluations went with huffing and puffing of all the attendees at how they missed out on you back when you came for audition earlier in the year you joined SM. They said many encouraging things, the type of praise that could get to your head, except for SME made sure you weren’t affected by those things ever in your life again. You were just feeling more stressed and concerned and found it hard to even sleep recently. You were so afraid they’d snatch that away from you and you had to cut everyone out of your life. Everyone included Jaehyun, who couldn’t stop blowing your phone up and you… well, you replied when it felt so fucking painful to not even read what he had to say, you were finding your fingers shake badly while typing. And the only thing that brought you into this awkwardness with the closest human being you had in the entire world was fear, that everything you dreamt of can be snatched from you if you’ll trip over your own legs. Trip metaphorically, of course. And despite the boy in front of you could never in his life bring any hurt to you, he’s a full on idol now and being around him is already considered taking a very bumpy road asking for that trip. “I’m their secret trainee. No photos, no videos, not even a single glance should be taken of me. It’s especially hard since I was an announced rookie before in SM. No one knows I transferred. After that post by SM most people assumed I quit to personal reasons or whatever. I-I can’t be seen with you, I can’t be seen in general and taking my mask off is literally asking for photos. You’re famous, Jaehyun, we can’t be just sitting here and hold hands like we’re two babies that finally reunited.“ Even though you were very much that, you couldn’t act on your wishes. And you had to really hold back because the moment he walked in this Paris Baguette all you wanted to do is hug him tightly and force his cap off his head and tease him about his hair. You were sure his sides by now grew back out but you just wanted to see it for yourself. You wanted to tease him about every performance from their debut era because yes, even though it was radio silence from you throughout that period you couldn’t physically hold back from monitoring how your friends did. In comparison to that girl group it didn’t make you feel nauseous to watch that. You wanted to ask him how he felt and if it felt different from the 7th sense promo, what was the experience like to be in a fixed unit? Was he so beyond the moon happy? You wanted to ask him so many things and tell him even more. You wanted to hold the tips of his fingers to reconnect with him on every possible level. You wanted to know so much, you couldn’t know any of it.

“Ugh, okay.“ Jaehyun hid his hand under the table as well. You stared at the twisted donut that was still untouched by either of you. The cafe was pretty empty for the morning hour, despite two other tables’ occupied by people that seemed to have an early lunch break. You could’ve taken all your armour off, but it would’ve still be a risk. And you had all this built up tension in your system from all the pressure your current situation was giving you.

Yes, you were given the honorary title of secret trainee, you tried to carry this title with care, not because it made you proud beyond imagination - because it brought so much pressure you were anxious at all times. Even JY Park himself called you the treasure they were able to steal from SM and they wanted to treat you well, turn you into the greatest artist of your generation. But at the same time it meant being treated the strictest. While rules applied to everyone, you were watched double strictly to follow them. Going outside - only under the strictest watch of your assigned manager, who thankfully was the sweetest woman not even 10 years older than you were. You really didn’t want to go in detail how you were supposed to me at your parents house now - not hanging out with Jaehyun somewhere near central Seoul. Your manager followed the rules thoroughly, but she somehow still found it in her to be sweet and understanding to everyone, in comparison to that woman at SM that somehow still haunted you in your dreams.

Your phone now was more of an accessory, than a device to connect with the outer world. You followed a very strict policy of no phones allowed in the practice room and you had to follow an even stricter rule of no phones allowed during academic studies, when there was no such rule in SOPA (you studied there for 4 previous years, you knew that for sure and you could see your literal classmates with their phones). And while you did go to school when you were under SM, no one cared much for it - everyone would anyway successfully graduate the school, but here, they checked on your academic score and took you everyday to school, taking care of it in equal measure to your dancing and singing skills. It was not one or two classes but a full day of academic studies filled with weird stares from other kids - everyone knew who you were, if not from their own research - other kids at school enlightened them and since the very last thing about you on the internet was your departure announcement everyone at school made weird assumptions. From you having bad skills to braking the strictest rules or being pregnant or many other weird things and sometimes even everything combined. Mostly they were wondering why the hell would you stay at SOPA if you weren’t pursuing career in art. At first kids tried to befriend you but your interactions would always end up with questions about your training years and if you knew EXO, if you ever talked to Shinee’s Taemin and so many other things regarding artist at your previous agency you had to avoid everyone at the end of the day. You couldn’t work out how all those undoubtedly talented and clearly reach kids were so weirded out by celebrities and had to make everything about it. You were so envious of Jaehyun who graduated school this year and didn’t have to go through all this. "Does all this mean you’ll debut soon?" Jaehyun sounded careful, with previous experiences he didn’t want to trigger your anxiety for no reason. He obviously could sense you didn’t say anything in that key for a reason.

"Ugh, no." you quickly let him know it was nothing like that.

"Any certainty about it?" It felt like he was trying to ask you if it made anything certain for you with the transfer. If it made any sense for you as an artist to move companies and lose everything you previously earned. He probably didn’t even mean that, but you were eating on yourself and reading through meanings in his words that weren’t there.

"No, they just debuted a group of girls. Not happening soon." You were really fine with it, if Jaehyun could’ve seen your face, he would’ve told you were fine. You had that information when you signed the transfer papers.

"Are you upset?" Jaehyun’s body loomed above the table, closer to you. “It’s the only reason you transferred and they’re making you wait again.“

“No.“ You said fiercely and then realised who you were talking to and absence of any reason to lie to him. “I am, but they’re taking everything so seriously. Weirdly I trust them, because they’re not saying things like ‘we’re not planning on debuting anyone in upcoming years because there’s a change of plans’. They’re saying they want a group that revolves around me an even though that’s crazy scary, I’m trying to live in that bubble and hope it won’t just burst one day.“

“It won’t.“ Jaehyun reassured you in his usual sweet manner.

“We both know now literally anything happens in this world.“ You shrugged.

“No, you will debut, I know it.“

“Jaehyun.“ You rolled your eyes at him in that nagging manner that almost felt foreign now to your lips. Only now did you realise you were going to lose him if you kept yourself closed off any longer. Even Jaehyun has a limit to his sweetness and care. You couldn’t ignore how good it felt to say his name out loud, how lively you felt when he smiled at you reassuringly. “If you’re going to get all these things in my head and they won’t work out, you’ll have to get my mental health back to normal yourself.“ You chuckled.

“I know there won’t be no need in that, because you’ll debut, but in case you’ll ever need that - I’ll gladly do it.“ he gave you a nod, it didn’t take even a split second for him to process your words and agree. “I’ll always be by your side, just let me be with you. I’ll help you out of anything, promise.“ his gaze burned the twisted donut on the table, if he’d stare any more fiercely than that, you were sure he’d burn holes in it. His ears turned the brightest shade of pink as he lifted his gaze at you and quickly stared back down at the donut as he saw you look back at him. Without a second thought you returned your hand on the table, palm up and close enough to his side of the table so he’d get the intention. He didn’t need a second invitation, he simply closed your palm with his and smiled. You squeezed the tips of his fingers and it felt so fucking good to just be with him.

“Thank you.“ You meant it with all of your heart. “I love you. As much as I did when I was leaving. I’m so sorry.“ you were clutching onto him with force now, Jaehyun returning the action. You didn’t spare a glance at each other, just holding onto your fingers and staring at the untouched food in front of you. No conversation happened between you two, just quiet comfort, you almost could make yourself believe everything returned to what it used to be. Him and you against the whole world. You didn’t want to break that comfort and Jaehyun’s fingers quietly stroked yours now, you could feel his leg lightly tap under the table to the playing song in the background.

Thankfully, his fingers were gripping your left hand and you were free to take the untouched fork and pick up a cut up piece and bring it to your face. You felt a little embarrassed as your realised you forgot about the mask on your face, having to put the fork back down, take the mask off your face and finally get the sugary dough into your mouth. You chewed and stared out the window, watching people starting to come in in bigger masses for their lunch break. Your attention was drawn back to your connected fingers when Jaehyun suddenly felt too hot above your hand to handle. You wanted to make a joke about his sweaty fingers but couldn’t form a single word. He looked so smitten and stared right at your face. Somewhere between your nose and lips, or maybe chin…? You couldn’t work out why would he stare at your mouth. Did you have something there from the mask? Or was he… looking for traces of plastic surgery you just denied?

“I told you no plastic surgeries.“ you giggled and as your mouth formed a smile his ears weren’t pink anymore. Just pure burgundy.

“I-I can very much see that.“ He finally moved his eyes to yours.

“Want a twisted donut?“ You smiled once again and picked up another piece with the fork, moving it to his mouth. Jaehyun caught the fork mid way and tore it from your fingers quickly, chewing on the piece, not allowing to play the plane game with him.

“Do you know DK from Seventeen?“ You asked out of the blue, while Jaehyun took another piece in his mouth.

“Not personally, do you?“ He wondered.

“No, but Yugyeom from my company is your age and he said he heard of you because his friend DK was in the same class with you.“

“Yeah, that’s true.“ Jaehyun nodded, not connecting the dots yet.

“I gave him your phone number.“ You didn’t want to continue tip-toeing, just say straight the info you held back. You were a little shocked Jaehyun choked on his drink and widened his eyes like that. You were expecting them already kicking it off, but it seemed they didn’t contact him, still.

“Why…?“ He cleared his mouth even though it was spotless.

“Because he said they have a friend group of idols your age. I thought you’d be happy.“ You did honestly only think of him in that moment. Jaehyun needed more friends so he’d stop messaging you. Okay, maybe you did think of yourself a little too.

“No-, I am-, no, but like why? That’s a little weird. Are you two close? Already.“ the last word was a whisper but you picked up on it with no issue.

“He just randomly told me this, when we were together at the company. About all his friends of the same age, I thought of you and he said everyone would be glad to have an additional member to the crew.“ Jaehyun stared confused at you. “If that’s not what you want I’m going to message him not to.“

“You even got his phone number?“ Jaehyun asked shocked.

“Of course, how would I message him your phone number if I didn’t?“ You smiled at the weird questionary and the weird reaction. Maybe Jaehyun needed a minute or two to process what you did.

“Thanks, but you really shouldn’t have.“ He said flabbergasted, shaking his head a little in protest.

“Why?“ you pouted.

“Makes it look like I’m asking my friend to go around and make friends for me.“

“A) he doesn’t know we’re friends, so if you don’t tell them anything, they won’t ever find out. I just said we trained together. B) he literally asked for it himself. He asked how old I was and then started bragging about his friends. If you don’t like them you can just ignore them, but I’m sure you’ll love him and his friends.“

“Why? Because you do?“ Jaehyun pressed… and teased? If he wasn’t teasing you’d get real concerned with the face expression he had.

“No, I literally don’t know him like that.“ You rolled your eyes with a smirk at him. It felt so weird being teased by Jaehyun about -god forbid saying this out loud- men, you somehow connected to.

“Have you talked to Yuta ever since?“ Yeah, talking about men you somehow connected to. How fucking painfully did it sting to hear Yuta’s name.

“Has he said anything about me?“ You swallowed excitement and curiosity in one go. Just a nonchalant question about an acquaintance.

“No, I don’t gossip about you.“ Jaehyun stated firmly and you gave him an appreciative nod.

“I-.“ You almost said you called him once or twice and even got a text from him, saying he’s busy and will call you later. Side note, he didn’t. “I didn’t.“ You didn’t want to hurt Jaehyun, even you’d be hurt if he told you he contacted someone but didn’t try to call you. And you really didn’t try to call him.

“So you two are done?“ Jaehyun half whispered.

“I don’t know.“ If you had an answer, you would’ve given him just that.

“Doesn’t not being in contact means you’re done with each other?“

“I don’t know, Jaehyun.“ you grumbled, you didn’t want to think how the possibility of never kissing Yuta again was growing in wild proportions. You didn’t like it, you didn’t want it. “Maybe you can ask him and tell me, since he’s your member and friend.“ You chuckled and regretted, because Jaehyun’s eyes looked like he took your words seriously, like he’d go out and ask him. And you’d want to tell him not to, except for you don’t have it in you to stop him. Maybe you need his help, to get to the end of this story.

“If that’s what you want I will.“

Opening that old can of warms made you want to reach out to Yuta once again. What was he doing? What was he thinking? Surely, if Jaehyun found time to see you, Yuta would’ve been free too. You wished you could just walk back to the dorm and catch him in his room - that way he’d have no choice but look at you and talk to you. Your fingers lingered over the four letters on your screen. ‘Yuta <3’. You couldn’t make a decision to call him, you couldn’t force yourself to type out a message. At the next stop, the bus you were taking back to the dorm brakes too abruptly and you’re just thankful that you’re sat down and don’t smash your head against the window, but what you don’t notice is in the moment of inertia push of your body your fingers pressed onto the name and now you were dialling Yuta.

“Oh fu-.“ You gasp, ready to end the call before you’re interrupted.

“Y/n?“ A loud chirp called you and as much as you wanted to act like you didn’t hear it - you clearly did and it was too dumb to act deaf. You recognised the voice, too, raising your head and smiling at the person in front of you despite the mask that obviously covered your face. “Do you mind?“ Said person pointed at the seat next to you and you gave them a nod. You almost relaxed and asked how did you end up on one bus, but through silence in the said bus you heard a “yes?“ In your phone. Fuck, Yuta, you realised you didn’t get a chance to cancel the call and he answered but your neighbour must’ve heard the call too, since her eyes moved to your phone and you had to end the call in absolute panic before she could read, connect the dots and ask questions.

[15:02] from Yuta <3: what was this?

Oh fuck, why would he want to finally talk to you when your brains are all mush and another person is staring at you.

“Where you’re coming from?“ she asks with a smile. You sighed, seems like she didn’t have the time to notice anything.

“Ah, went to see my parents.“ She gave you a nod and you had to ask. “I’m sorry. Yeji, right?“

“Right.“ she gifted you with another nod.

“I’m sorry, so many new people around and not much time to talk to everyone. I still get a little confused with names.“ You excused yourself shyly. You were spending so much time agonising over Yuta you had no chance to go out and make friends.

“Don’t worry. I only joined the company a month before you. Still confuse some names.“

“Oh-, really? Did you train somewhere else prior? You’re very skilled.“ You recalled multiple occasions you saw her in action.

“No-, oh god.“ She sincerely smiled “Why would you say this, you literally trained in SM for the longest time.“ Her eyes wrinkled in a perfect way, you couldn’t believe the girl was this pretty.

“It really doesn’t mean anything.“ You waved her off with a chuckle. “I didn’t make it in the big run so it really doesn’t matter.“

“Wah… It’s really nothing, we’ll make it big in here.“ She giggled and her laughter flew through the bus, enveloping it in such sweet and encouraging girliness.

“I really love the cut of your eyes.“ You let her know randomly, because her eyes were really pretty and she stared at you all flustered and shy with those eyes.

“Oh, you really shouldn’t say this.“ She waved her palms at you in the cutest act of denial, bowing mid action and hiding her face in her palms. “What year are you-“ she giggled lightheartedly and this simple interaction made your day so much better. You were still floating on Jaehyun happy virus that spread through your body and Yeji added so much to that. You were feeling happy for the first time in months.

“It’s fine, we can be friends-.“

“Oh“ she suddenly straightened her back at the hint you were older.

“No, no, no.“ you stopped her quickly and laughed. “It’s okay, I promise. We can be friends. I haven’t made any yet in here, so I think as first come first serve you can be the privileged one and talk freely.“ You would’ve not minded if she was your 10th friend in here. She was so cute and seemed so sweet, she could really refer however she wanted to you any time of the day.

“Oh.“ She gasped again and you suddenly felt like a mighty and wise senior. Someone with power and influence, except for you really weren’t and she could be the next pop star and you’ll just stay you, the greatest achievement being an announced SM Rookie. The single thought made you shake in fear. “Thank you.“ She smiled and trained her eyes on the view outside. “Oh, on-, I mean, Y/n, it’s our stop next, press the button, please.“ She pointed at the stop button and you finally focused your eyes on the outside, letting the driver know you’re departing here. You took off the bus and crossed the road to get to your building. As the two of you waited for the elevator, you pulled out your phone, typing the address of your dorm to the last chat in messages.

[15:34] to Yuta <3: thats where i live now

[15:34] to Yuta <3: if you ever feel like seeing me, just call. i’ll come outside.

[15:35] to Yuta <3: i’m usually free from 10pm

[15:35] to Yuta <3: i really miss you.

You tried not to think of the fact that your messages to Yuta were never rewarded with an answer. You had an additional hour free, since your choreographer had a birthday today and send all of you home early. You didn’t have much to do, you really were the type to lay on your bed and scroll through your Instagram and see what all your friends been up to. You looked at the picture of Ning hugging tightly the bear she was gifted by all girls back when you were part of that floor. It seemed she was in your previous room and you smiled, reaching out to her through DMs. “Solo room???? CONGRATS!!!“ you giggled and hit sent.

[20:55] From 2xNing: Solo room it is!! We had a real competition for it, but no one could ousting me so I won

[20:55] To 2xNing: Ahahahah I’m happy it’s in good hands

[20:59] From 2xNing: What’s the room arrangement like for you now???

[20:59] From 2xNing: When am I getting the debut announcement from you??

You looked around and didn’t really want to tell her anything. There was you and 3 other girls and if the two of them had a bunkbed, you and one more girl had just thick mattresses that were supposed to migrate to an actual bed frame but somehow still stayed on the floor. You were thankful even for that, because you had to sleep on a yo for the first month due to some logistical issues and it was disastrous. You didn’t even sleep on a yo when you were a kid and visited your grandparents, you really didn’t want to think about that ever again.

The room had no air conditioning and looked old, in addition to being generally small, but you didn’t want to complain. It was hot and humid but at least you had a chance to debut and they promised to move you all to a different dorm in the nearest future. You were just hoping that nearest future would come. Everyone seemed baffled with the rooms, but everyone seemed closed off and didn’t want to discuss these things with you. People wanted to maintain their image, they kept themselves distanced and awkward. You really hated on yourself for the lack of will to get closer on your part. You were new and they were already settled, so you felt like an outcast thanks to the inner battles you had with people from you previous agency. Were you considered a threat? Just unlikable? You didn’t even have time to work these things out. Ugh, you really needed to put in work to befriend them. Your eyes ran over the room once again, and literally everyone stared into their phones, earphones plugged in.

[21:03] To 2xNing: room sucks on default since its shared and I’m used to being solo, but I guess it helps us to connect

[21:03] To 2xNing: no debut for me tho lol

[21:03] from Yuta <3: Think you could see me tonight?

You jumped up on the mattress and hit your head on the bedside lamp that hung right above your head.

“What is it?“ Chaeyeon, that had been laying on her back facing you, pulled her earphones in one swift motion at the sight.

“Oh, no. It’s nothing.“ you mumbled awkwardly only receiving a side eye from the girl. You needed to rehabilitate yourself in all of their eyes. “It’s my-, my childhood friend. I didn’t expect them to reach out to me. That’s it.“ You looked at your phone awkwardly.

“Okay.“ She shrugged uninterested. Okay, whatever, you sighed.

[21:04] to Yuta <3: I could

[21:05] to Yuta <3: When?

[21:05] to Yuta <3: I’m home

[21:06] from Yuta <3: I’m outside

so we're starting off with a cliff hanger lol but as I promised, I have good news. Part 5 is coming out next Monday 5pm EST.

while I personally love reading long chapters, I've decided to cut everything max to 10k since I'm sure reading 20k words takes a ridiculous amount of time for everyone

more good news that involve Haechan are coming very soon!

I hope tumblr doesn't f this up and this reaches people

anyway, see you next Monday :)

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