#i know theres more to discover
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love the trope of "i'm so fascinated by you that you occupy my every thought to a psychologically concerning degree" as well as " "i can fix him" "bro you're worse" " i will eat it up every time
#hannibal#hannigram#will graham#hannibal lecter#the passenger#the passenger 2023#benson the passenger#randy bradley#scream#billy loomis#stu macher#the talented mr ripley#tom ripley#dickie greenleaf#saltburn#oliver quick#felix catton#feel free to add on#i know theres more to discover
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like many who have suffered at the hands of bbc merlin before me, i recently indulged in a thought experiment in which i outlined my own version of seasons 3-5 that stay thematically and tonally in line with the show (except they're less fucking stupid). but then i quickly realized that focusing on details is pointless: all you need is to solve the one Big Problem the show has, and the rest will follow. the problem in question? ✨morgana✨
i like the first two seasons. s1 achieves what it sets out to do and has fun while doing it, and s2, while flawed, sets up a ton of potential that the following seasons unfortunately squander, beginning with the insidious season 3. you can only distract me with cute knights and goblins and fart jokes for so long before i start seeing through you, evil, evil season of television.
my hypothesis is that if the writers had crafted s3 morgana into anything more sympathetic than a violent half-alive poltergeist that can never be reasoned with because she's suddenly terminally off her rocker, everything would've fallen into place. a sympathetic morgana would've made real, valid arguments against uther (and arthur) that wouldn't just be the ramblings of a woman possessed. her betrayal of arthur would have stemmed from her feeling increasingly morally superior to him because of his complacency in the face of their father's tyranny. under morgause's guidance she would stop believing that arthur is capable of change, and the whole point would be that she might actually be right. arthur would have to actively try and prove her wrong, instead of getting praised for doing the bare minimum because the bar is on the floor.
furthermore, morgana's prophetic dream about arthur and gwen becoming king and queen and her decision to prevent this however she can is a direct parallel to merlin learning about that same prophecy and making it happen by any means necessary. merlin's desires about his and arthur's futures are subtextually fueled by gay love and devotion, so why couldn't morgana's be? why couldn't she properly express her bitterness that arthur gets to be with gwen in a way she can't "took gwen away" from her, instead of suddenly declaring that gwen is nothing more than a servant, after two seasons of demonstrating again and again that she loves, values, and respects gwen more than anyone else in that godforsaken castle?
following this, an angry and emotionally volatile but still sensible morgana asking gwen to stay by her side during the coup of the castle in the s3 finale and gwen going behind her back to help arthur and the knights would've hurt like a bitch. double-sided betrayal! gwen having a real plot! the proper beginnings of a toxic yuri that would shape a generation!
then there's the utter hubris of having morgana shoot arrows at the same civilians she worried herself sick over for 2 seasons — even morgan, her medieval counterpart that was rooted in every sexist trope in existence, doesn't just go around killing senselessly but instead has (often petty!) personal vendettas against gwen, arthur, and the knights. morgana had every right to be sick of the pretensions around chivalry in camelot (she was always quick to mock it, even in s1), and to lash out at the knights and soldiers after years of feeling powerless in a castle full of armed men that blindly followed her oppressor. the show conveniently forgets that morgana was victimized as a woman as well as a sorcerer those first 2 seasons.
but like i said, this is not just about morgana. allowing her to remain a real and multifaceted character even as she betrays everyone in pursuit of her ambitions would've given the rest of the core four more interesting conflict to work with: merlin because he would have to experience real consequences to his actions, arthur because he would watch his sister go against his father (and his knights, and his birthright) and experience some actual internal dilemmas about it, and gwen because she would be forced to choose between morgana and arthur without the pretense that it's an obvious or easy choice for her to make.
even morgause and gaius would come off more interesting as mentors: neither one inherently evil or inherently good, both jaded by events that happened before our protagonists were even born, both heavily influencing morgana and merlin into fulfilling roles that they think are appropriate, but that morgana and merlin may not have chosen for themselves had they not been under their care.
you get the gist. if the show followed its own setup, morgana's mistakes wouldn't lie in cheap and senseless acts of violence but in alienating the people she loves because she is too hurt and jaded to trust them. meanwhile, everybody else would feel guilt over "failing" her and yet they would be too caught up in their own (sometimes flawed!) beliefs of right and wrong to truly see her point of view.
arthur would convince himself it was sorcery that corrupted her. merlin would know that isn't true but he wouldn't be able to argue without confessing everything, which is the defining conflict between him and morgana and it's cheapened when she's just an evil witch caricature and merlin is framed as inherently virtuous in contrast. gwen, too, would become a more active participant in her own life by choosing arthur over morgana and choosing to rule camelot with him instead of just waiting politely to see where things go.
and, of course, uther's downfall and death would be quick, final, and completely earned — when and why did the show even decide he of all people was the sympathetic villain, anyway?
lastly, and perhaps controversially, i think morgana should've learned merlin's true identity by season 4. her being the first of the main characters to find out makes perfect sense considering their shared history and their interconnected and mirrored arcs. even the show seems to agree, considering she does find out a little before arthur. but the narrative itself tried pointing flashing neon arrows towards this way earlier — there is a whole entire episode in s4 where merlin being emrys is repeatedly spelled out for morgana and she still isn't allowed to see it. that episode makes her look like the stupidest person to ever live, which is pretty funny im not gonna lie, but also another frustrating thing in the endless string of frustrating things that make up this show.
morgana learning that merlin has magic would've transformed the source of merlin's anxiety from a crippling fear of being outed someday to the crippling fear of knowing she could out him at any moment. this would make him want to beat her to the punch (perhaps he'd consider killing her for a minute and decide against it because she isn't a cartoonishly insane evil person in my version of events) and maybe he would even feel some tentative excitement at the idea of coming clean, now that it seems inevitable. after all, he always intended to tell arthur eventually! and i think gaius would have to admit outright that he does not want merlin to tell arthur he has magic because he, gaius, simply cannot risk such a gamble. it would be so interesting to see gaius and merlin clash and disagree once it becomes obvious that it's not merlin that isn't ready for the reveal, it's gaius. delicious!
with morgana's knowledge looming, things would inevitably spiral into a magic reveal by the end of season 4. i picture this season as an absolute mess of miscommunication between everyone at camelot, which is, y'know, canon. growing increasingly cunning and vengeful, morgana would use this tension to her advantage, destabilizing the court from the outside while she creates alliances with other sorcerers outside of camelot (instead of living alone in a hovel for no reason — morgana le fay i'm sorry i'm so sorry they gave you agravaine instead of your all-female entourage oh my god).
and here's where the events would change beyond recognition (aka here's where the meta becomes the fanfic i refuse to write). picture it with me: a militia of sorcerers infiltrates camelot and arthur and gwen have to set aside their differences (assuming gwen kissing lancelot and arthur overreacting happens, which it should) for the good of the kingdom as well as for love. picture high priestess morgana in her element, side by side with a bunch of misfit sorcerers that aren't so easily vilified, chopping down camelot's soldiers and knights and assuredly making their way to the newly-minted king.
then, just as it starts to seem that all hope is lost, in swoops merlin (the actual merlin, not his old fart disguise) on dragonback (kilgharrah hates morgana so much i know his sexist ass would stoop to anything to stop her)!!! imagine merlin showing off the extent of his powers in front of everyone and preventing the sorcerers from getting any further, declaring loud and clear that camelot is protected by him, by emrys. imagine that display of power alone being enough to send everyone home.
imagine the loyalties clearly drawn: merlin on arthur's side, morgana on the sorcerers'. imagine arthur, feeling confused and betrayed by everyone at this point, banishing merlin despite everything he's done for him in the angstiest, most emotionally dysregulated scene the show had ever put to screen. imagine merlin starting season 5 free at last but very lonesome, an embittered dragonlord like his father. imagine the absolute mess camelot would become without him, even with gwen �� now queen guinevere — there to pick up the slack. imagine arthur actually earning merlin back, finally growing into his role as king as he does so. imagine the reunion.
all this and more could've been not just possible but inevitable if morgana was allowed to remain a complex character that is neither inherently good nor inherently evil: it was undeniably the biased and one-note treatment of morgana's downfall by the writers that set the precedent for literally everything else that happened after merlin chose to poison her. the show wouldn't have even had to jeopardize its tone or the monster-of-the-week vibe, all it would've had to do is admit that even the "good guys" are capable of mistakes and what makes them good is the ability to feel remorse and change for the better. (as opposed to uther, who was miles beyond redemption since way before the pilot and deserved to lose everything and die alone. OBVIOUSLY???)
in a world where morgana remains multifaceted and sympathetic, mordred would get a better arc as well, so if we really wanted to, we could still end on the same tragic note that the show ended on. with so much harm inflicted onto so many innocent people by the pendragons for so long (including mordred and the many druids and sorcerers that raised him), it could realistically end up being a little too late for anything more than one shining glimpse of king arthur and the sorcerer merlin's short-lived golden age before fate catches up to them. glimpsing that reality just to immediately lose it would've been far more satisfying and far more tragic than whatever the writers thought they were doing with all that pointless carrot-dangling.
and finally, an ending in line with morgana's new and improved arc. in this version, rather than bleeding out on the forest floor alone, she would channel the morgan le fay we know from the legends: sobered up by the reality of her brother dying, she would use her high priestess status (and perhaps also her pendragon status) to be granted passage over to avalon alongside arthur on the boat — a one-way ride — just to make sure he gets there safely. this is her penance for the harm she has caused, the same way arthur's penance is to die and leave the true ruler of camelot (gwen) behind to achieve everything he was too slow and indecisive to build while he still had time.
merlin's penance, then, would be to stay behind and watch them cross over without him, waiting and waiting and waiting until they come back or until he can finally join them. which is a bit fucking harsh if i'm honest, so i'd at least make it slightly more faithful to the legends by having him return as an old man and letting him take a long nap under a tree by the shore, his body slowly enveloped by vines like the cobwebbed fisher king in 3x08, never fully sure if he's dreaming or if there really are strange shapes fading in and out of the fog over the lake. still tragic, but nevertheless a little more open-ended and whimsical than [TRUCK NOISES] THE END!
#[johnny the dragon voice] ✨ MORGANA ✨#tldr: if you treat your villain with nuance then more nuance will follow and your story will be better for it! groundbreaking i know!!!#what im also getting at is that morgana broke free FIRST so she DESERVED to become the morgan le fay of legend#way before any of the others grew into their own roles.#morgana#bbcm#bbc merlin#analysis#merlin meta#morgana pendragon#theres no focus on the knights here but if you know me you know how angry i am about s4 and s5 gwaine at all times#so in a story with a more nuanced portrayal of villainy and knighthood i think he would openly question his choice to become one#and maybe he'd leave for a while#go home and sort out his daddy issues. have some fruity subplots along the way. visit merlin during his dragonlord era. that sort of thing#and interact with lancelot at least once!!! for gods sake#but i dont see lancelot surviving sorry. that dude will literally die for anything#also scientists and tv execs had not yet discovered bisexuality in 2011 and he already had everyone acting unwise#in ways that barely got past the censors :/ unsustainable#elyan however shouldnt have died. i know gwen ruling alone with only the lamest knights in her service is “the point”#but its a stupid point. elyan is her best knight and they rule camelot together. working class heroes etc.#poetic justice for their father who was murdered by uther + a fun narrative contrast to morgana and arthur#nightmare siblings of all time. banished from the mortal realm for their crimes. could never rule together. stinky#ANYWAY. I HAVE THREE (3) EXAMS DUE THIS WEEK. HERE'S TWO THOUSAND (2000) WORDS OF BBC MERLIN ANALYSIS.
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I WANT ENDLESS BLISS!!!
HALF-AWAKE, HALF-DEAD, HALF-LIFE CRISIS
ALL NATURAL POMEGRANATE PULP.
FERMENTED TO PERFECTION, SAVOUR YOUR SAVIOR.
Q: What's your favourite food? A: THE ALE THEY SERVE AT THE TAVERN!
other versions : )
#uhhhh happy pride month have a fucked up chilchuck that im really proud of#i took so long on that hair rendering just so i could cover it up with the stars...#this was a reaaaally experimental one#if i had another go at this id change a lot of things but sometimes you gotta know when to stop#ive learned my lesson from this one so ill do another one with my knowledge now ykyk#ive discovered i reaaaallly reaaaaaally like thin lines#still figuring out how rendering + painting works but hey it was a nice attempt!!#this is my first finished peice in a looongggg loooooongggg time and it makes me really happy how well it came out#i guess switching things up really helped with things.. i usually get stuck at flat colors because i get so bored#cw alcohol#cw alcoholism#eyestrain#<- maybe? its really saturated#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#by the way i always thought him saying “ale” as an answer to “favourite food” was odd#maybe its a translation thing where theres a japanese wprd that covers both food and drink and the translator just estimated it to “food”?#cause if its not... sir??? chilchuck thats not a food... my man... you have a problem...#this is#[ tragedy au ]#but honestly you could take it as set in canon#by the way do you like my little poem : ) im pspspsps-ing at the dungeon meshi fandom/fandom in general to write more poetry/short lit#maybe ill tweek it and post the poem on ao3.... shrug !
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Hey does anyone else think Lockwood and Lucy were meant to parallel Orpheus and Eurydice? Or am I just going a little crazy?
#how has no one else pointed this out?#because i had just discovered hadestown so of course thats on my mind#in this essay i will#but like#you see it too?#they literally walked through the underworld together#and lucy stumbles but lockwood turns around to help her#but the real poetry of it is that you dont know who is orpheus and who is eurydice#lockwood who has one foot in the grave and a trail of ghosts#but can sweet talk his way out of any situation#and lucy who talks to ghosts and sort of convinces them to let them pass#idk theres more i want to say about this#dont worry ll make a longer post#lockwood and co#anthony lockwood#lucy carlyle#orpheus and eurydice#hadestown
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Ablrecht Entrati is the Y2K bug
Can anyone figure out what the virus text says? I think it's void-related based on the eye imagery, but I'm not 100% certain whats going on with that. 👀
Look at the clock in the background, literally a minute away from the year 2000.
#I've watched this like 3-4 times now & I keep piecing together more stuff#this is just a really cool detail#also doctor?! did albrecht originally invent the infested only for dr. tengus to discover them later on??#I have so much more now that I want to know about the timeline#seems like the year 2000 was when the infested were being tested out; looked a bit different less fleshy & incomplete looking#did this part take place on earth before it became uninhabitable? is the y2k bug event what made earth unihabitable??#theres soooo much I wanna knowww!! the looooorrrreeeee!#this is a universe where the y2k apocalypse is actually real#mine#op#warframe 1999#warframe#warframe spoilers#albrecht entrati#whispers in the wall#warframe theory
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its really starting to bother me that theres so little to be done for karlach in act 3. like when you first meet dammon he seems so hopeful about finding a solution. he runs through a bunch of ideas and says he cant do anything with the tools he has but he'll keep looking. and then when you meet him in act 2 hes says he cant think of anything but he'll keep trying. and then in act 3?? all he says is that he cant find a solution. theres no way to ask him what research hes been doing. no way to try and do any research yourself.
karlach's companion quest basically ends in act 2. you get that second upgrade and it doesn't make a difference to the way her endings turn out. yeah you can touch her, but that's it. theres still only two 'good' endings for her character.
and it feels like theres so much we should be trying to do? the steel watchers are made of infernal iron. every single watcher has a piece of infernal iron you can collect. some of them even have enriched infernal iron. and apart from the armor dammon can make... there's nothing else to be done with those pieces? even the enriched infernal iron doesnt seem to serve a bigger purpose.
i feel like i should be able to talk to the gondian gnomes for help. they built the steel watchers, which are made of infernal iron and can blast hellfire at you. we can literally go to hell and theres no way to look around or ask about a solution. theres a magic tower with a locked vault and no way to look for magic to nullify/contain the heat.
also we cant talk to karlach about going to stay in the house of hope? i know one of the endings is that she can go to avernus with wyll but shouldn't we be able to suggest she can stay with hope? who's literally trying to make a place of hope in the middle of the hells? theres even portals in one of the rooms to a bunch of places. she could come and go as she pleases. we already have the means to visit if we want.
like i get it the whole point is that shes doomed from the start tragedy etc etc but it still sucks that we can't at least try to do more when it feels like theres so many ways we should be able to
#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#karlach#bg3#bg3 critical#i guess? if people want to avoid anything negative#im just kind of bummed i started romancing her on my first playthrough and discovered theres really only two endings where she doesnt die#and they both kind of suck#and got disheartened and haven't finished it#and im doing another playthrough where i skilled the grove stuff so she only has one upgrade and discovered that it doesn't change her end#at all#her companion quest basically ends in act 2. after that theres nothing to be done#also what does that first upgrade even do??? i know it makes her feel more powerful but does that actually change her stats???#why cant the first upgrade let me hug her#why cant the second upgrade stabilize her more#why is one of my fav companions so neglected in act 3 le sigh
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Gunna finally try out coloring on this mf tomorrow pray 4 me yawll
#ive discovered theres an ugly phase that i do not know is permissible on real feeling skin pffft but if it is??? its smooth sailin#if not??? oh no#ill do more research#leopard#honestly seeing my 'im super picky abt what art to put on my body i wish i could just tattoo myself'' slowly coming to fruition is reeeeeee#i just hope im not a pussy but if i can successfully tattoo myself OOO LORD imma do as many as i can reach myself#and honestly??? imma probably get dome ocs on me too bc at this point theyre too much of a consistent major part of my life not to lmfao#tattoo#lineart
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doing a lot of posting this afternoon but. man. if theres anything that sets off my alarm bells its whenever i see a post thats like. Sticking It To Those Dumb Motherfuckers Who Complain About/Can't Just Suck It Up And/Don't Know How Great It Is To Engage In [INSERT SOCIAL CONVENTION HERE]
i know when i see one of these posts im going to go in the notes and see people calling op ableist, maybe in a way that comes off mean, and i know the op is going to respond calling them all terminally online sjws because of their tone, and/or playing the "so you think all autistic people are the same?? you think no autistic person can navigate social interactions like everybody else??? look at all these autistic people agreeing with me" card. the old "No You" Switcheroo
And its just, really exhausting, knowing they probably mean well but theyre operating on such faulty defensive logic that you can see from a mile away when youre in any way educated about disabilities. because the thing about disabilities is that theyre disabling. and when "difficulty with an ability" is a symptom of a disability. and then you insult people who find that ability.... difficult....... like i dont know how else to show people how to put these 2 puzzle pieces together. i dont know how else to explain that "people who cant do this one thing experience less of the full scope of humanity than me" is never a progressive statement to find yourself making
#i know a lot of autistic people discover the tricks to rewarding social interactions later in life. i know it can feel great#and i also know a lot of people on twitter and 4chan and whatever have a superiority complex about not being like the Stupid Neurotypicals#but the thimg is that when you lump them together with everyone who vents about their experience with their disability#youre just being ableist. and it might sound harsh and people might get harsher about it and that doesnt make them wrong#if theres anything having middle of the road support needs and hanging out around higher needs autistic people has taught me#its that throwing more vulnerable autistic people under the bus is never okay. if you find yourself gesturing to The Good Ones#take a BIG step back and rethink what youre trying to accomplish#if it requires dehumanizing somebody for their struggles its not coming from a place of activism or respect#manifesting spiders
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lonely-mans lazarus is ruining my life rn . how in the world do you recover from stumbling upon a brilliant story only to find out the very 1st rendition of it was retconned and you missed out on a huge chunk of lore + content + fandom fun so now as a stinky newbie you have to piece everything together yourself
#theres this massive rabbit hole of old lost content#there was a discord server and everything brah ☹☹☹☹#why wasnt i there to see it#deep sigh#you guys do Not know how autism i am abt this whole thing#all the information abt lml i have rn has been discovered via daisys social media#mostly instagram#i have literally every detail down in my notes app#i know everything there is to know abt this comic (for a newcomer)#dont even fucking play w me im crazy#so . uhm . feels a bit awkward but#hi lml fandom 😭#lonely man's lazarus#lonely-man's lazarus#lml#eeeuyhhhhhf#🍋 blah blah#anyway i love rosid more than anything
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can someone explain to me why binding in any form when you have a large chest is hell no matter what you do
#this is rhetorical#i know why#binders are fucking BOGUS#aside from the sensory issues they give me personally THEY JUST DON’T FUCKING WORK#AT LEAST FOR ME#and then i discovered binding tape#1000% better than binders on multiple fronts#but it still sucks#because god forbid someone have a tape size large enough#and then theres the fucking blisters#which i do not give a fuck HOW you swing it THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOME BLISTERING IF YOUR CHEST IS HEAVY#AND IF YOU HAVE A LARGE CHEST AND TAPE AND DONT BLISTER PLEASE SWEET FUCK TELL ME HOW YOU DO IT#because i can have it on and pretend that my skin isn��t actively being shredded#and that i won’t be standing in the shower in a few days peeling it and said shredded skin off of me#probably pissing my suitemates the hell off because i didn’t anticipate it being that bad because i never think its that bad#until i take it off and then suddenly its like why the fuck am i bleeding#and i gotta tell myself it’s because there’s no winning for you dumbass!!!!#you’re going to be in pain all the time no matter what you do!!!!!#let me out#can i fucking quit now please how much more#because with everything in america going the way it is idfk if i can take this shit much longer#yapping#vent
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pulps law is that whenever i get insane enough about something, i will inevitably attempt to make a persona 5 au, regardless of whether or not i am successful at it.
#pulp speaks#anyways guys youre never going to guess what au ive been thinking of lately .#i know the correct way to go about this is make sidestep the main character but you see#i will not be doing that. and actually in fact i will not be following the storyline of persona 5 in the slightest. because lol#but morgana exists in this au purely because i dont think the others would survive without him explaining what the metaverse is 💀#the rangers are a team of detective for the public sector in this au#and dr mortum is an unassuming everyday scientist that should not peak the rangers interest in any way. at all#in the video game that exists in my head the player can pick between playing julia or ricardo#it doesnt change the storyline that much but it does make the character relationships funky so#in my head chen is best friends with julia and argent is best friends with ricardo#chen and ortega stumble into the metaverse together so if you pick julia its two best friends in a life or death situation#but if you pick ricardo its your sisters best friend+kinda your boss in a life or death situation which personally i find extremely funny#regardless of which ortega you play with the other one doesnt know about the metaverse until id say like. the end of the first palace? beca#use thats when they start getting suspicious#and because this is ortega they follow them and find out about the metaverse that way#i dont think they become a phantom thief but i think they do end up covering the others asses irl#dr mortum still isnt actually a doctor but i think theyre the one providing medicine to them at the start of the game#theyre extremely wary of the rangers at the start and ortega can barely convince them to sell them things which they still charge-#-extremely high over. i think the turning point comes when they discover the metaverse because holy fuck they are So excited about it#both because of the implications and what the metaverse could be used For#chen is not thrilled about letting them know this but theyre kind of their supplier so its not like he can argue#i think mortum joins the phantom thieves eventually but as a navi#obviously its in their best interest to provide everything for free now that theyre part of the team but they still have to order supplies-#-so i think the way it works out in game is that theres certain days supplies can be ordered and you have to pay for it but the items can b#-picked up at any day of the week#but also i have no idea how that would work practically (its all in my head anyway so it doesnt actually matter but yk)#theres still more thoughts about this but im ✨running out of tags✨ and also i cannot organize my thoughts enough to explain it#im not main tagging this its going to be my silly self indulgent au for eternity ok
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been finding out abt sauce gardner from scrolling through your blog and like,, there’s something seriously wrong and sooo compelling abt him like why does he want to fuck aaron rodgers sm…
HELDPF
i am SO glad i am ur 'wtf is that thing doing now' messenger of sauce. he is SO weird... just a weird girl forced to play football. im like obsessed. when ur skrungle is an absolute loser malefailure of a man. ugh. have this old art of sauce and joey b that i won't explain the context to, but yes. Pls join the sauce (gravy) train. We're all just watching him run off the rails bcs he wants to get railed. it's rlly an excursion
#ive been posting a lot of my sauce content on a discord chat but thank u for letting me know ure interested in him!!#ill post more abt him on tumb now knowing like im not annoying some ppl lol#his fatherless behavior deserves to be followed tbh like hes so funny#pathetic twink who wants to be popular (topped) oh sauce u have captivated me#im so glad i could help u discover his pecularity#it's like looking at a weird bug on the ground like it just feels nice to have someone else join u & watch#' theres somethign seriously wrong' HELPD MENEE#thats literally the whole reason why i want ppl to like him and why i like him like#gone is the days of hes done nothing wrong#in is the era of shes killed millions. im entranced .#this ask made me smile so much u dont understand thank u anon#hes a gilf hunter and hes my girlfriend im afraid#ted asks#sauce
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Writing Jefferson as the softer lover, the one doing the most pining and the most feeling and being the most vulnerable yet simultaneously hiding it all behind his....✨idgaf im Thomas mf Jefferson✨ and only being this vulnerable with Hamilton and even then at the slightest hint that Hamilton might pity HIM he has to be indifferent again because "love is for losers" and he doesn't really care as much as he seems to until he's eventually emotionally hurt and has to cope with the fact that Hamilton has done this because he seemingly believed that there was nothing emotional between them because of all of Jefferson's hiding and the only way the can try and salvage what they might be able to have is Thomas finally being honest with himself and Hamilton and telling him how he feels....is so much more satisfying than with Hamilton and idk why.
#idk if its just me but when i write Alexander as having feelings for Thomas with no way to express it#i always perceive it as a crush type of thing#Alexander finds him physically attractive until they get closer (because Thomas wants to be closer to him)#and he discovers theres more under the surface. which ofc i eat up every time#i always found pining Thomas to be more heartbreaking because he's so full of himself how DARE Alexander break his heart he's beneath him!!#everyone knows i only go based off the musical and in these dynamics Thomas has more to lose than Alex#Alex has been hurt his whole life whats one more chip on the shoulder but Thomas has been lucky his whole life#So how dare one insignificant man come along and fuck everything up
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tan yang with muscles pls
#rwby#yang xiao long#rwby yang#rwby art#doing this i discovered theres like no refrences for the backside of the jacket so#kinda just did whatever#i like this style might do more who knows
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thinking abt leo/need again. gonna throw up. what do you mean they spent so long apart from each other and now they get to relearn everything about each other. WHAT DO YIU MEANNNN
#im just#sobbing#imagine knowing everything abt someone and then u separate for a while#and then like#you all change but it means theres more to discover about them#cries#i didnt articulate this well at all#leo/need#project sekai#pjsekai
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So funny that i find myself w less and less new music to discover compared to what i was finding in my teen years, and i am like 98% sure its bc i havent watched frag videos or amvs in over a decade 😭
#chattin#like nearly 60% of my songs are from my ipod.#my IPOD#hundreds of songs i found from watching High Art from before 2012#i have songs from last fm that literally do not exist ANYWHERE anymore. like i gotta make an effort to upload some of these for ppl#whereas most of my newly discovered songs are from artists i found prior to 2012 (and theyre still making music)#artists adjacent to THOSE artists#video game music#and artists related to that music#so im not like. exposed to completely mew and untethered music yanno?#mew……i meant NEW 😭#that one insane uno video had a really REALLY good song and i have no idea if it was made for the video or if it exists on ytube or bandcamp#and i absolutely count that as an amv lmao#i think its bc i dont play games that would make for good frags anymore like ovw and halo#and i dont watch anime anymore so i havent tried to watch amvs#like. there was a really good mp100 one but i wasnt invested enough to look for more 😭#maybe i should ask my sister for some jjk amvs….theres lots of fighting in that one right? i think that would help#u have no idea what people deem a good song for amvs and thats what makes them so fun; i love knowing what people listen to#oh i just realized; i think i am showing my age; do ppl even call it frags anymore???#is it an amv or a fancam?? or something else…i also dont use tiktok so im unsure of the terms there too…
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