#i know there are rad christians out there but they tend to be the people

[idiopathicsmile]

the hardest part of growing up Unitarian Universalist in a small, conservative midwestern town was that pretty much nobody outside the church had any idea what it was.

i know this is not the case in parts of the east coast, and probably parts of the west coast too, but in rural illinois, when i said i wasn't christian but unitarian, the default assumption was that i was part of some weird cult.

i would try to explain the basics of my religion—no creed, no requirements to believe in any deities (but you can if you want), the emphasis is on kindness and acceptance of others and finding the spiritual path that works for you—but it's a pretty esoteric thing for a child to try to verbalize, particularly to other children.

kids on the playground would get as far as "wait, so you don't believe jesus christ is your lord and savior?" then they'd drop me in the "going to hell" bucket and be done with me.

one time in middle school, one of my closest friends said "oh hey, what is it that you believe again?" and when i was about halfway through my little elevator speech, i said something about tolerance of difference and she threw a significant look at three of my other closest friends because the four of them had gotten really into the Left Behind books and turns out that in that particular series, "tolerance" is one of the favorite words of The Antichrist. that's why they'd asked.

the fucking antichrist.

on the other hand, the funniest part of growing up Unitarian Universalist in a small, conservative midwestern town was that pretty much nobody outside the church had any idea what it was.

in sixth grade, we were supposed to wear heavy, gloppy foundation and blush and eye shadow to be extras in the school play. i knew from other school plays that it irritated the hell out of my skin, and so, figuring that alone would probably not spare me, i told the adult in charge that i couldn't wear stage makeup because it was "against my belief system."

she was like, "oh yeah? what's your religion?"

when i said "Unitarian" not a single adult in the room knew what that meant well enough to push back. i went on stage bare-faced.

i looked like a ghost up there but the thing about being UU is that even as a kid, you get to decide for yourself what is spiritually important to you. and on that day i decided that part of my personal, cosmic, holy truth was exploiting loopholes to avoid itchy rashes all over my face, amen.

[crimsun-n-clover]

psa to every parent who thinks i’m a good christian teenager who is a total sweetheart

—your child loves me for being batshit, gay, and a complete dick to anyone who doesn’t like that.

—i fight dirty physically because i’m no more than an edgy little paperweight. i have probably given your kid a lesson on beating the goddamn daylights out of somebody effectively.

—i learned latin to make up incantations on the spot to scare the shit out of old christians who say shitty things to and about me.

—i have definitely at LEAST helped your kid roll their stats for their character sheet because if i love you, you’re joining my nerd game. everyone has a portion of a sheet done, and some people have multiple. many of them are named after musicians, which is only mildly terrifying.

—your offspring probably chose the loud music you hear from my car. unless they admit they’ve never even heard of misfits or whatever, in which case, i picked because jesus FUCK kid, it’s like no one loves you. do you need to me to break you out? because i know a guy-

—they come over and read my violent comic books. enough sex, drugs, and radioactive queers in spandex to set your little brain ablaze.

—they are picking up my vocabulary. when your child says “prithee” or “rad as shit” in front of you, that one’s on me.

—no one teaches a better lesson than someone who understands the law and how to get around it (moonshiner blood in me says vroom fast car government eat my ass hit the pigs. punk mindset says they’ll drag me down and i’ll take them with me if i can’t just get out if it), and your kid is now a disciple of my gospel (bad music, bad words, bad behavior)

also a lot of people think i’m a satanist but nah. i just hate god. jesus and i would be BROS though. satanists tend to be a bunch of neonazis so noooo thank you.

i had a VERY long day of being a horrific influence on the youth.

not that i encourage illegal behavior, but when a sheltered little 15 year old mentions wanting to try shoplifting, you read them their goddamn rights and tell them which tags scream when you hit the towers by the door.

she was gonna do it anyway, i taught her some stuff to keep her nose clean while she gets out the urge.

can’t have the lil bastard getting a criminal record before she even gets a job. just doing my older sibling duties.

i showed her the joys of ranch on fries and she admitted that i’m right about it being the best thing to put on them.

and we got ice cream and i won a claw machine so like i’m livin the dream out here

[you-are-so-much-better-than-that]

Hi hi hi good day and good friday to you! Let's learn some things:

1) Are there any foods you absolutely WILL NOT eat?

2) Would you say you have a strong sense of identity?

3) If you had the chance to meet any historical figure, who would it be and what would you want to ask them?

😊🖤

Hi Howl! I hope you're having a lovely Friday on the other side of the pond.

1) I can say with confidence that I will not eat celery. I pick it out of soup. It does not taste good with peanut butter. There are people who say celery has no taste or that it tastes like water. I vehemently disagree. Celery has a very distinct taste and I do not enjoy it. I also cannot do very spicy foods. I can't do a vindeloo or anything with super hot peppers. My friends did a hot sauce competition where they had to eat increasingly spicy wings. I just took videos and laughed at their pain.

2) Yes, I would. I literally just said this to my therapist this week. I said I know all the things wrong with me and exactly what traumatic moment in my past made it happen, but I don't know how to fix it. I am very self assured and it tends to make me stubborn. On the rare occasion where I am confronted with something that tests my sense of identity, it throws me for a loop, and I spend a ton of time sitting with myself and working it out.

3) Howl. I cannot explain to you the turmoil this question gave me. I don't fuckin know! I would want to meet someone I respect, but every historical figure comes with a set of flaws. I keep thinking of Liam having to rename his school and landing on The Middle School because everyone was racist/misogynist/bigoted. There's also something to be said about meeting your heroes, and I'd be devastated to learn that someone I admire is a dick.

I asked two of my best friends, who happen to be two of the smartest people I know. They were of no use. I took a shower to ponder. Here is what I have decided.

I am a woman of faith, so I decided, first, on Jesus. Whether He was divine or not, I think Jesus was a pretty cool dude. He was kind and accepting of everyone. His followers might certainly be wanting, but Jesus himself was a pretty rad. I'd be down to share a glass of wine with him.

But then I get all this Christian guilt and I decided instead on Jane Austen.

An unmarried female author who broke literary norms of her time? Yeah, I'd be down to have tea with her. We can talk about the beginnings of the industrial revolution and the amount of change it brought (a little like the tech revolution us millennials experienced). We can talk about over bearing families wondering when we'll marry. We'd talk about what it's like for a woman to write in a man's world. I'd ask who her favourite authors are. And I'd ask how she planned to finish Sanditon.

Ooof Howl! I've spent half my day thinking up an answer for that last one. I really love how your questions get me to think.

[punkscowardschampions]

Dash & Lux

Dash: ☀️🧙🏽‍♀️🎶🥁🎸🪕🧚🏿‍♂️🌿🌼🧚🔮💃💫🔥🕺🏻🌳💗🍯🍻

Lux: That is almost exactly what the inside of my head looks like right now!!!

Lux: Is mind-reading a power that is bestowed upon you believers this eve?! 🤔😲

Dash: Right on

Dash: it’s one of many, trust

Lux: I’m ever sadder I can only be an observer now

Lux: Telepathy would be the most useful!

Dash: you gotta open your 👀 at least twice

Lux: I can 👀 at it, all of it in its splendour, just not participate

Dash: Bummer! What’s got you backing off? You don’t look like no wallflower chick to me

Lux: I got the dress code 🌻🌻🌻

Lux: Sunflowers are so strong-looking for flowers, don’t you think?

Lux: Not dainty and delicate

Lux: Well, I’m a Christian and technically this is a Pagan ritual so it’s a big 🚫🚫

Lux: I am finding it super interesting though

Dash: they don’t look strong, they are, babe 🌻🌻🌻 cleaned up Chernobyl, it’s far out what they can do

Dash: its roots, yeah, but we’re not all pagans here & we all still find something to celebrate, you could do St John the Baptist’s birthday as a christian, bonfires were big for that too

Lux: Whaaaaaaaaaat????! TELL ME MORE

Dash: about 🌻🌻🌻 or 🎂🔥🎇🎆?

Lux: 🌻🌻🌻 birthdays are contentious too

Dash: Helianthus annuus, from the Greek helios, meaning ☀️ they can remove poisonous chemicals & metals from the ground, water or air

Dash: they spread rapidly & can stabilize if not totally clear a field in 3 years, it’s 🤯

Lux: I wish I’d gone to school

Lux: Do you know any more fascinating things?

Lux: That sounds like magic

Dash: the world’s full of magic, but it wasn’t school that taught me to recognize it

Lux: Share the secret, kind sir

Dash: you’ve got the 🔑 & this here’s your kingdom, all you have to do is hang out & stay hip to what you 👀👂👃👅

Dash: 🧠➡️⬅️⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️↪️↩️⤴️⤵️

Lux: I’ve 👅 so many wondrous tastes today

Lux: I feel full in so many senses of the word

Lux: How long have you been a member of the kingdom, stranger?

Dash: quest accepted to lay that feeling on you in every sense, then it’ll be a rad celebration

Dash: I’ve been here since I could walk, everywhere else is too big a drag to keep me

Lux: Oh, that’s so kind!

Lux: Everyone is so open and willing to teach me things

Lux: For instance, quick, when’s your birthday, wolf boy

Dash: it’s that kinda space 🦊

Dash: 20th of January 🎂 got me on the cusp ♑♒

Lux: Twins!

Lux: My birthday, which I’ve never celebrated before, is the 20th of March 😱

Lux: Someone, I’m not sure who, was just telling me about the Celtic tree signs

Lux: ‘If you were born in the month of the birch, you probably have a fresh and unusual outlook on life. People born under this Celtic tree astrology sign tend to be highly driven and are always full of zeal and ambition. They always want more and try to reach new horizons and expand their knowledge. Some of the characteristics attributed to the Birch sign are tolerance, toughness, and leadership. The Birch signs can brighten a room with their smile and quickly charm other people’

Lux: Yay or nay 🐺

Dash: you charmed so far or nah? [obviously smiling at her wherever she is as well like heyyy]

Lux: [definition of this emoji 🤭]

Dash: What’s your celtic tree sign?

Lux: ‘Those born under the Alder sign are natural pathfinders. They have the ability to move people and quickly gain followers to their cause. The Alders have a way with words, mingle easily and people love to be around them. They possess a mystic charisma, confidence and strong self-faith. Other character traits are: a good focus on goals and ideas, can’t tolerate fluff and waste.’

Lux: I am unsure but flattered 😊😊😊

Dash: I dig it

Dash: they let you know if we’re compatible? Your ♓♈ cusp makes you mad desirable to all signs

Lux: You need to see who here was born 15th April to 12th May or 2nd September to 29th September

Lux: But it says I’m compatible with you, so how does that work?! 😣

Lux: There’s so much I have to get my head ‘round

Dash: You’re gonna be 🥰💖 for me while I’m 🔍 for a 🐈 or 🐤 born on those dates?

Lux: Hey, that’s way less nice!

Lux: but I can also be looking for people born 13th May to 9th June AND 10th June to 7th July so 😋

Dash: those signs are full of it, trying to make me look uncool but don’t sweat it, I’d never cut you that low, like

Lux: If it’s not in the 💫s I can still say I’m pleased to meet you today as friends, Mowgli

Dash: Look up

Dash: if you don’t see a 🌠 I can show you a 🐺🌟 & 🦊🌟 chasing each other across the sky

Lux: [obviously literally does]

Lux: That’s very Disney 🏰✨

Dash: is that allowed?

Lux: I watched some at a friend’s house one time

Dash: & how was it?

Lux: 😭 but romantic

Dash: Anyone told you the oak king story yet?

Lux: Okay, thank Goodness

Lux: this lady with the dreads and the big back tattoo tried to tell me but I couldn’t understand her 🙊

Lux: Redeem your gentlemanly reputation and save both of us the embarrassment

Lux: Her accent was wild! 🤯

Dash: did her version start with Fadó, fadó?

Dash: wouldn’t be a wild guess

Lux: I won’t credit you with any telepathic skills this time, then

Lux: also I’d need to 👂 it again to confirm fully but yes, I think so

Dash: [send her an utterly unnecessary voice memo]

Lux: It sounds more intriguing when you say it

Dash: [obviously gotta tell her the full story in an irish voice memo purely for the #flex and the flirt cos you know damn well you’re gonna have to translate it, boy]

Lux: 🤩

Lux: Did you learn that here too?

Lux: I’ve lived so many different places and yet I only know the one language

Dash: My ma started it but when the establishment took over it was a bad scene & turned me off for time, last few years here it felt groovy again having that connection & I refound the 💚☘️

Lux: It’s really cool

Lux: it sounds old, or like elvish or something else not real

Dash: it’s a trip, you’ve gotta get someone to teach you while your fly by lasts

Lux: Oh, I live here 😊

Lux: I room with Nora, do you know her?

Dash: Beats me, what’s her deal?

Lux: Her and her brother Finley have been here for a while, but not forever like you

Lux: but there are a lot of people here so I’m not surprised you’re not sure 😅

Dash: not a clue but loads of people are too rattled to wanna get involved, could be her vibe

Dash: or she just ain’t outta sight like you

Lux: She’s totally involved, she secured like all of the sunflowers for today

Lux: well, me and Amber helped but she was definitely the most enthusiastic

Dash: 🌻👑! I do know her, but her in with Amber & instant karma means she’s not gonna mess around with me

Lux: Ooh, what did you do

Dash: jack, Amber’s hassling me cos I’m not trying to be her old man, she gets super rash & things get heavy with 0 slack

Lux: Hmm I shouldn’t have asked 🤐🙉

Dash: ask her why she’s making a move on my older bro now if not to try & lay a trip on me, babe’s lost it

Lux: Whaaaaaaa

Lux: You have a brother?!

Lux: Is he invisible?

Dash: I wish

Lux: Which one is he, point him out

Dash: [points in the direction of their house lol]

Lux: [a face of understanding like oh okay]

Lux: How does Amber know him then?

Dash: from stalking me

Lux: I don’t think she would do that

Lux: She must’ve just bumped into him or something

Dash: at my house, yeah

Lux: It’s cool, it’s not really my business

Dash: open 👀 like I said

Lux: 📖

Dash: that too 🧠💗🤲

Lux: I can agree with that sentiment

Dash: we’re groovy then

Lux: Of course 😊

Lux: enjoy your evening

Dash: back at you, golden girl ☀️🎇👸🏼

Lux: I like your outfit too

Lux: it’s very ☀️🧙🏽‍♀️🎶🥁🎸🪕🧚🏿‍♂️🌿🌼🧚🔮💃💫🔥🕺🏻🌳💗🍯🍻

Dash: [comes over and ties a chain of flowers around her wrist like it’s a friendship bracelet energy]

Lux: [clearly delighted with this]

Dash: [ask her if she wants to dance even though you know damn well she’s only observing because kind of boy you are]

Lux: [so rude lowkey when she’s struggling so hard with what she does and doesn’t believe now, we’re in enough of a dilemma without your help but there we go; thus we will go dance with you because we do want to and we can make arguments that that isn’t joining in with the rituals of it all]

Dash: [he’s lucky Amber is busy because she would fight him, but instead enjoy your dance you two]

Lux: [the audacity of your lies about her, we were so awkward like 😬 anyway, we will have a nice dance though]

Dash: [such a dickhead he can only be humbled by fire, full offense Nora because we’re ignoring you hen cos you’re clearly wise to his bs]

Lux: [there’s clearly a growing group of gals who are unimpressed by your nonsense and that will be interesting to navigate]

Dash: [Definitely, but yeah probably do slip away like a snek before any of those gals do kick your ass]

Lux: 🎃👠🐁🌠🕛

Dash: A 📘 for the 🔥

Lux: 🤔?

Dash: it’s a drag, all that heavy shit with her fam is a bummer, she gets to split but only til 🕛 that’s some 🌠

Lux: Yeah, it’s enough to get help though and then she gets saved

Dash: nah, to get shafted, she don’t get to dance with anyone else there, it’s a scam

Lux: 😅 who else does she need, she’s got the prince, silly!

Dash: someone who recognizes her next day?

Lux: Touche 😏

Lux: Being a 🤴 is a lot of work

Dash: What 🤴 told you that?

Lux: Where to begin

Lux: I’ve known several who would say as much and the 👸s would never disagree

Dash: Fadó, fadó, fadó a bhí ann…

Dash: but I’d shut it down from the beginning, they gotta be shining you on

Lux: I’m going to have to have translate open constantly, I see 😰

Lux: but very noble

Dash: I try, like you & your ☘️ it’s chill we’ve all got your back

Lux: It would be way worse if it was the only language any of you spoke

Lux: thank goodness 😅

Lux: there’s lots more that’s more pertinent for me to get a grip on

Dash: 🧝🧝🏻‍♀️🧝🏽🧝🏾‍♀️

Dash: we’ve got you on the rest too, like, goes without saying

Lux: Most everyone has been super welcoming

Dash: how long have you lived here?

Lux: Not long enough that that’s insulting 😋

Lux: but gosh, a couple of weeks? Must be

Dash: nah I meant cos I don't wanna explain to you what sorta place this is like you're fresh through the door if you've had loads of time to find your own way

Lux: Oh no, I’m a total n00b

Lux: Hazel got me here but I’ve kinda just been left to it since

Lux: Anything you wanna tell me would be appreciated

Dash: did Amber or Nora give you the tour?

Lux: Amber’s been super busy and Nora likes to stay in our room mostly

Dash: not super welcoming

Dash: but it’s no sweat, I’ll show you round, we’ll have a blast

Lux: they’ve both got their own stuff going on, I don’t expect them to drop it for me

Lux: but that would still be cool, thank you!

Dash: say when

Dash: it’ll be as electric under the ☀️ as the 🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌙

Lux: I can 👀 in the dark

Lux: You choose

Lux: find me when you’ve stopped having the MOST fun?

Dash: 🐺🐾🦊

Dash: Meet me in the orchard at midnight, ditching your shoes before

Dash: there’s an 🍏🌳🍎 you can 👀 the whole farm from the top of

Lux: And you’ll remember what I look like?

Dash: you look unreal

Dash: unforgettable

Lux: I got creative with the arts and crafts 🌟⚡️☀️

Lux: I’ve always made my own clothes

Lux: well, I made them for my sisters before

Lux: looking unforgettable was not the end goal there though

Lux: that was for secret

Dash: my nan would be hip to you, she used to make her own clothes, for her girl & her sister too when they wanted, it’s still a vibe for her

Lux: I will make her something then

Lux: what’s her style?

Dash: indescribable

Dash: I’ll show you pics

Lux: Awkward if your nan is cuter than you

Dash: at our age she totally was

Lux: Awh, you’re so sweet

Lux: I have nothing nice to say about my meemaw

Dash: keep it for mine when you meet her

Lux: You’re gonna introduce me to your nan? 😊

Dash: right on, she’ll wanna put whatever you make on for you to 👀 & it’s only a few fields over

Lux: 🏞 it’s a crazy beautiful spot to live, that’s for sure

Lux: so you live with her?

Dash: Yeah, my ma grew up there & when my parents called it quits she wanted to move back

Lux: You’re close-knit

Lux: that’s special

Dash: closer than I am to my da

Lux: Does that upset you?

Dash: I don’t let it upset my equilibrium, he’s uptight, that’s his problem not mine

Lux: I understand

Lux: I don’t agree with my dad on a lot of things

Lux: it’s still sad though

Dash: I got killer people round me, a 2nd family here accepting me for who I am, it ain’t cool he don’t, but they give me what I need

Lux: I’m happy for you

Lux: Seriously

Lux: again, that’s special, you should be really grateful

Dash: I am, believe me

Dash: you’re gonna scope out how special it is here now I’m in charge of showing you everything

Lux: I’d love to see your 🌍 how you see it

Lux: Kinda sounds like everything I need, honestly

Dash: you can, easily when we’re sharing a branch

Lux: 🧚‍♀️ you’re dainty, I trust you won’t let me fall

Dash: I’ll let you fall into something good though, new heights

Lux: Will it hurt?

Dash: no way

Lux: You aren’t pranking me, are you?

Dash: there’s no plastic on me, I’m being real with you

Lux: If you’re gonna try and jump me out in the orchard I’ll have to show you crazy and I really can’t afford to lose this place okay

Lux: so if I believe you right now and you were lying, it’ll be worse than it would’ve been, you feel me?

Dash: Hurting you isn’t my action, I’m about a gentler touch than that

Lux: and I’m not a bully, that’s not my vibe so that’s the warning out of the way

Dash: avenging 👼 I get it

Lux: My costume has you fooled, I think

Dash: Wait, so you’re pranking me?

Lux: No, I swear! 😅

Lux: I don’t feel like I’ve been anywhere near as nice to you as you have to me though

Dash: but you did dance with me & that was choice

Lux: I wanted to

Dash: me too, I wasn’t asking just to be nice

Lux: even though you’re very nice

Lux: I believe that

Dash: I think we’re getting somewhere

Lux: You understand why I’d find a boy like you being interested in me dubious at first, right

Dash: Nah, but I’m listening

Lux: Well it’s embarrassing to say

Dash: alright, listen, I think you’re the most

Dash: I’m embarrassed I’ve not met you before tonight

Lux: There are so many people to meet

Lux: and you’re like the 🤴 of this place, huh

Lux: you have to dance with all the ugly stepsisters too

Dash: if Amber said write that to bait me I’m shutting up

Lux: I think Amber left 🤔

Lux: And who’s calling her ugly, even if you guys have beef, like no way

Dash: & Nora’s gotta be back in your room cos that’s her bag, yeah?

Dash: so where are you?

Lux: I’m in the middle of [one hippie activity] and [another]

Dash: [go find her and dance with her again obvs, we can be bolder about if some of the haters are gone and it’s later so he’s clearly a bit more drunk/high by now too]

Lux: [the way you’re probably sober like how lmao, not saying you always are or will be ‘cos no but gotta have our wits about us ‘cos witchery is afoot; but yeah we all know it can shamelessly way more of a Thing™]

Dash: [at least Amber was too until her row with the bae even if she wasn’t the most present in other ways, so it wasn’t just you gal, but yeah, dispel any remaining fears she may have that you’re not into this please boy with this moment]

Lux: [we know you got your own going on, it’s good, this drama has to happen whether you like it or not babe sorryyyy, when you’re then even more into it because it’s like HELLO IS THIS ALLOWED, so new and fresh to get to remotely be this brazen]

Dash: [shouldn’t LOVE that for you but I do, we should probably let y’all go on your tour then because we’re both in a mood and there’s nobody to separate you]

Lux: [probably, but I will insist on making you wait ‘til midnight regardless]

Dash: [it is a fat mood and I did pick that time deliberately so yeah, dance the night away first hens]

Lux: [sure it’s probably near that time anyways]

Dash: [yeah absolutely]

Lux: [we can skip to the after in this if you like?]

Dash: [are we thinking am like did y’all fall asleep together or?]

Lux: [Hmm, do we go with the Cinderella and have her bounce or do we go against it and not, because then she would think he wasn’t a dick later]

Dash: [even though he’s a dick I still want all the cute I can grab with my smol hands]

Lux: [it’s not like you can’t be like I just fell asleep it’s nbd with it so yeah okay

Dash: [I also like the camber parallel of it all so]

Lux: [true true, we can do it, then you can just have breakfast as a group because duh, was it sunday or monday today?]

Dash: [I think it’s sunday aka Cosmo is having his 2nd date with Ruby tonight and then Camber breakfast dates start monday]

Lux: [okay then you will have to think of a creative way to ditch her then boy hohaha]

Dash: [at least he can just go home because Amber only stayed to angrily eat some fruit and Cosmo had a busy day ahead because I doubt the shower situation at this commune is thriving, water probably runs out always]

Lux: [what a poser lmaooo]

Dash: [and very rude not to invite her when she probably wants to shower or bathe too]

Lux: [we literally got gems stuck to our face but pop off]

Dash: [we know you’re not because your mother is there and sick of your behaviour but yes, it wouldn’t kill you to let her boy]

Lux: [no offence but run him over, anyway, some time later]

Lux: are you ⬇️🍄?

Dash: 🛹⚡️

Lux: aha, cool

Lux: good thing you didn’t invite me I’d end up 🤕 for sure

Dash: I didn’t stop you falling out of a tree last night to have you fall off a board later in the AM

Lux: Hey, you make it sound like I was 🤏 close! 😆

Dash: nah, your balance is sound

Lux: I don’t recall you stepping on my toes, either

Dash: don’t wanna have to start the day off doubting your 🍒 recall, that’d be a bad scene

Lux: I was totally sober thank you 😅

Dash: easy to claim the magic’s all you when I ain’t met you before but I’m a believer

Lux: Wait, was that a compliment or a diss?

Lux: Maybe I’m contact-wasted

Dash: contact with Nora would get you more sober, there’s a diss

Lux: Awh, don’t be mean!

Lux: She’s been really nice

Dash: chill out, I’m only playing

Lux: Hmm 😏

Lux: anyway, what are you doing later?

Dash: I said I’d hang with Yara

Lux: Oh cool, who’s that?

Dash: I’ll introduce you after

Lux: after what?

Dash: we’re done messing around

Lux: wow, alrighty then

Dash: you’ll like her, she’s a trip

Lux: I’m not totally sure she’d want you to 💬 that

Lux: or I’ll know what to 💬 now

Dash: it’s no biggie

Lux: idk, this is not the way I was raised

Lux: you say it’s not but idk, you know

Dash: you don’t have to meet her

Lux: Yeah

Dash: I think she’s rad but you gotta make up your own mind

Lux: It’s not about her

Dash: nah, you, I understand where you’re coming from, it’s a new world

Lux: Right, it seems really icky to me that you’d tell me any of this

Lux: it’s not about how rad she could be

Dash: Come on, Lux, I’m keeping this honest

Lux: I guess

Lux: Why do you need to tell me though, I don’t get it, for real?

Dash: I like you, I don’t want it to get twisted

Dash: 📖

Lux: Okay, I appreciate the sentiment then

Dash: I’ll come find you later, on my own

Lux: That’s okay

Lux: I’ve got lots of chores to catch up on

Dash: they’ll be done faster if I help you

Lux: I can’t stop you

Lux: the place is a mess after last night and the more people who pitch in the better

Dash: I don’t get why you’d wanna stop me

Lux: I don’t really wanna hang out now, not today anyway

Dash: I can’t believe you’re being like this

Lux: Being like what?

Dash: Amber

Lux: I’m not

Lux: you can’t hang out now, I can’t hang out later, how is it any different?

Dash: the way I’m travelling through today is a straight line, yours is all over the place

Lux: Good for you?

Lux: It doesn’t matter either way though

Dash: doing a u turn on me does matter

Lux: It does?

Lux: because last night you thought I was rad, so obviously this morning I wanted to hang out with you again, so I think it’s my turn to do the 180, if you think about it

Dash: I still think you are, last night was unreal & we can be again, I’m just asking you to take 5 cos I can’t split on Yara after making plans time ago

Lux: That’s fine, it’s not fine to be mad at me ‘cos I ask you to take 5 too

Lux: that makes it make no sense

Dash: I’m not mad at you, I’m trying to make sense of why you’re mad at me

Lux: I’m not mad at you, I’m upset

Lux: You only need to ask

Dash: idk I didn’t think this would go down how it is

Lux: Me either, I guess

Dash: you for real want space?

Lux: I don’t know

Lux: Can I get back to you on that?

Dash: yeah

Lux: I wanted to see you again

Lux: I thought you’d want to see me too

Dash: I do, you read me right last night, why are you gonna start disbelieving yourself today?

Lux: You want to see Yara more

Dash: I wanna see her too

Lux: Okay, have fun then

Dash: we cool?

Lux: I don’t know

Dash: idk what's turned you different, you were laying it on me like you got it, how I'm

like royalty & everyone wants a piece of my time

Lux: Oh my Gosh

Lux: I wasn’t being serious and I didn’t think you were

Lux: do you honestly think that, like what?

Dash: It's a touch plastic saying I'm like 👑 but still close to how it is

Lux: Um, you don’t even live here

Lux: you have a whole house and family

Dash: I'm here with my chosen family as much as I can be

Lux: Yeah, but what do you

actually do for this place, or anyone here?

Lux: The audacity to act like it’s your kingdom, that’s laughable and gross all at once

Dash: back off babe, I do whatever they need me to do

Lux: Babe-ing me right now isn’t a good look

Lux: manual labour at best makes you help, not visiting royalty

Lux: are you crazy, like, who do you think you are, seriously I’m so curious

Dash: Who are you? Thinking you can lay this trip on me about what I can & can't do

Lux: I’m not telling you you can or can’t do anything

Lux: I asked you not to call me babe, which is basic politeness

Dash: nah, you're telling me I don't belong to this place

Dash: questioning how I do like

it's up to you

Lux: I said you don’t live here, and you don’t

Lux: and I’ve never seen you contribute, maybe you were super busy before I got here, then I’ll apologize for that

Dash: you're doing a census, yeah? Hold up [everyone currently who doesn't live her like the petty prince he is]

Dash: I've got family here, they all keep me busy

Lux: Cool? Thanks for telling me who else is a tourist ???

Lux: You’re just being defensive, there’s no need if you’re secure in that and your place here

Dash: quit trying to rattle me

Lux: I’m truly not

Lux: but no, we’re not cool now

Dash: I made it known from the top where I live

Lux: Where you live isn’t the issue

Dash: what's your issue? I'm loved & welcomed here, that's all I said

Lux: That’s nice

Lux: I don’t really want to discuss my issue with you, with you, right now, if that’s okay

Dash: later then

Lux: See you around, Dash

Dash: I can't believe you think I'm a flake, this has me totally unglued, you know

Lux: I don’t feel great about it either

Dash: how can I make you feel less bummed out?

Dash: your tour was the most far out I've ever given

Lux: I don’t think you can, it’s done now

Lux: I just need some time to change what I thought this was, or was gonna be, in my head

Lux: but thanks, for offering

Dash: take your time to 👀 what we can be & how you wanna evolve

Lux: Maybe we can be friends later on

Dash: I’d dig it

Lux: I liked talking to you last night

Dash: I felt more connected to you than I usually do

Lux: I don’t think you’re an awful person, FYI

Lux: I just think you could’ve been clearer, and accept that you hurt me without getting way defensive, you know?

Lux: I can accept you didn’t mean to

Dash: I thought I was being clear

Lux: Yeah, I know

Lux: I’m from a very different background and place, it just didn’t translate well, clearly

Dash: yeah

Lux: but I thought I’d put that across well enough that you got that too

Dash: I do get you, but I can’t 180 myself to fit

Lux: No, I’m not asking you to fit my understanding, it’s fine you don’t

Dash: What are you asking?

Lux: Nothing, honestly, I’m trying to explain why I’m upset

Lux: Just like you can’t 180, I can’t change how I see and feel about it immediately, even if some of the ways I were raised are outdated or potentially bad, you know

Lux: You don’t need to do anything

Lux: From my perspective, it felt like a 180 and hurtful to tell me about hooking up with someone else the morning after

Lux: I know how you think and operate is totally different, but that’s it

Dash: but I wanna do something, to help you

Lux: You are nice…

Lux: I don’t know though, what would help?

Dash: I meant what I said last night about showing you this place, making it feel more like a home, how it is for me

Lux: Maybe you could come back and help with the chores

Lux: I shouldn’t have said you NEVER help out, I’ve not been here long enough to make that observation

Dash: maybe it looks like I don’t, cos with family you take liberties sometimes, that kid who’s naughty at home & don’t say shit at school, comfortable to play up

Lux: I have 8 brothers, I understand 😅

Dash: you can have that too, should

Lux: I did, as much as any of us did

Lux: I was a boy, remember

Dash: with 0 limits though, people trying to control & change what you do is for outside of here, I don’t have to think in my dad’s 🟥🟧🟨🟩🟦🟪⬛️⬜️🟫 way or do what my ma reckons is righteous

Lux: Sounds idyllic, Dash

Dash: it is

Lux: You have to understand my experience of people doing exactly what they want means someone is being exploited or abused for that person’s privilege

Lux: my parents had their utopia at the price of the things we wanted, needed

Dash: that’s why you need this new experience

Lux: Okay

Lux: I do want new experiences

Dash: the farm has the magic to grant you whatever you’re here for, no wish is the wrong size

Lux: You really seem to believe it so I will try too 😊

Dash: I’m about to 🛹⚡️ back if you wanna clean the opposite end or hide from me in the 🍏🌳🍎

Lux: That’s cool

Lux: but thanks for the warning 💗

Dash: don’t let how out of this world you look distract me then

Lux: I so don’t so that won’t be an issue 😌

Dash: It's an accident, huh? I feel you, it must be my fault I can’t look away

Lux: You’re way too smooth for your own good

Lux: but I wouldn’t say that’s a fault, necessarily 🤭

Dash: Hey, I didn’t manifest you into being, even if last night did feel like it had to be cosmically devined somehow

Lux: I felt it too

Lux: no one has ever

Lux: not like that anyway

Dash: you’re like a song I can’t get out of my head, I don’t want it to turn sad

Dash: I’m sorry I got you unglued too

Lux: It’s a lot more complicated than just you

Lux: it’s a whole thing

Dash: You’re gonna find people to share how heavy it is

Lux: 🤞

Dash: they’ll carry you through & even if it’s Amber I won’t let it bug me

Lux: I’m sure that’s a misunderstanding

Lux: I could talk to her? Subtly, of course

Dash: yeah, her misunderstanding me, you’ve got your reasons, she’s not new to any of this

Dash: her problem is she thinks she’s the most & everyone else should think she’s choice no matter what

Lux: Do you think she likes your brother?

Dash: no way, unless she’s got a football obsession now too

Lux: 🧲 maybe

Dash: idk

Lux: Me either

Lux: it just seems a bit crazy otherwise

Dash: he’s as uptight as my da, she’s never gonna get nowhere trying to mess around with him, whatever she’s doing it for

Lux: She won’t have any problem finding someone new

Lux: you said he’s older, right?

Dash: not loads, but he’s gonna be done with school in a sec

Lux: I see

Lux: so you’re the 👶

Dash: til my dad’s new lady puts her demands in

Dash: how many sisters you got to go with your 8 bros?

Lux: you don’t like her at all, huh

Lux: and 5, so they had a tough job being outnumbered

Dash: you heard of a WAG? That’s her whole deal

Dash: whoa, so you had a full time secret sewing job

Lux: yes, we lived in England for a while, that’s how I ended up here

Lux: like a Kardashian, I can see you not having a lot to bond over

Lux: exactly 😂

Dash: you gotta teach me, my nan would be jazzed

Lux: I’d love to!

Lux: there’s a surplus of old clothes to practice on

Dash: still a chore, we get to skip cleaning, yeah?

Lux: Mending isn’t as fun as creating but you’ve got to start somewhere so, I think so 😊

Dash: 😁

Dash: we’ll have a blast cos I gotta start somewhere on earning your forgiveness too

Lux: You’re sweet, Dash

Dash: I’m being for real

Lux: I know you are

Lux: I don’t know what to say though because I’m awkward 😳

Dash: it’s a hands on kinda task & you already know what you’re doing with it, it’ll be me feeling 😳

Lux: No flirting, only crafting

Dash: 🧷📏🧵✂️🧶📍✨

Lux: That’s a very impressive emoji selection

Dash: missing 😍💞🥰💓😘💘 but it’s chill

Lux: Idiot 😏

Dash: 💟 is the compromise

Lux: Okay, that’s adorable

Lux: allowed 🤭

Dash: [show up and take her hand to lead her off to sew, we know you weren’t far away bitch]

Lux: [the way you just melt when he shows, oh gal]

Dash: [I’m upset about it]

Lux: [we know you really like him, for better and worse rn]

Dash: [thank god he does actually like you and it’s not a straight up Drew and Ro situation happening]

Lux: [we can only do that ‘cos they both lowkey suck so we aren’t sad lmao]

Dash: [I like this gal too much to be that evil]

Lux: [it’s drama enough without it being entirely one-sided like no lol]

Dash: [I hope some sewing does take place amidst the blatant flirting because learn a useful skill for once in your life dickhead]

Lux: [we aren’t gonna just roll over immediately ‘cos actually did upset us so you will have to]

Dash: [yay]

Lux: [so that’s probably the vibe for today ‘cos yeah we absolutely won’t even though it’s clear we still like you like that too, so you’ll just have to hang out platonically]

Dash: [it’s gotta be the vibe for a while, sucks to suck boy, but obviously hang out until that girl comes to find you because you clearly do also wanna hang out with her platonically it’s not just like that vine where he breaks the skateboard]

Lux: [a quality vine]

Dash: [do we wanna leave this here?]

Lux: [I think we can]

[bloopbyoop]

weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy.  Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!! 

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe. 

x :D

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’ve been double checking I have all the right people blocked and it got me thinking. I have a lot of TERFs blocked and there’s a problem with people unknowingly reblogging radfem posts. So here’s a little guide by me. Feel free to add on if you have any tips and do reblog! I’m not tagging this because TERFs have a tendency to check tags about them.

Things to look out for in urls to avoid TERFs:

(All example usernames are ones I made up. Any real ones are coincidences. Keep in mind you should still look at the blog to double check. There are some people that just happen to have these elements in their usernames or are parody blogs)

The term radfem or parts of it by themselves. Ex: rad-billymayes, radfemdisney, femcandy-corn

The term terf itself. Ex: terfyladies, marvelterfs, terf-safesupport

References to hurting men and/or their private parts. Ex: smashingcocks1998, phallusdestroying, yeskillallmen

The term gender critical or gender crit. Ex: gender-critical-cat, gendercrittonystark, all-dogs-are-gender-crit

Women spelled as womyn or wombyn. Sometimes womxn, but that one is sometimes more trans inclusive so maybe not. (and some ppl don’t know about why trans people don’t like the history behind the spelling of womyn) Ex: womynspace, lez-wombyn, loveblanketsandwomyn, womxnofmarvel

Sometimes references to being an evil lesbian but you know, that one is less so and there are a lot of evil lesbians that aren’t mean to trans ppl so *shrugs* I’m not gonna give examples for this one.

Things to look out for in icons:

Diagrams of the female reproductive system

An artsy depiction of a uterus, sometimes with flowers as the ovaries

Lesbian looking classical paintings with lady breasts poking out (this one is less prevalent than the uterus thing but it’s a pattern I noticed. Keep in mind that most ppl with sexy renaissance paintings as an icon aren’t TERFs but it is a trend for some reason)

Things to look out for in posts themselves:

(Many TERFs don’t have obvious usernames or icons. Some of their blogs might even look like fandom blogs on the surface but once you look at them it’s clear that they’re transphobic. Their posts tend to have patterns. As usual, remember to check the blog to be sure. A banner saying TERFs don’t interact might not keep you safe)

Use of the term “gender critical”

Criticism of gender as a concept. Asserting that all gender is learned, expressing how gender as a concept hurts females and not males, etc.

Assertion that men are inherently awful

Talking about men getting into women’s only spaces/why women should have safe spaces

Discussing in detail why they think gender should be abolished

Talk of female genital mutilation to refute a point in an argument

Failure to realize that there is more than one female experience, over generalization, assumption that all females have had awful lives, no nuanced understanding of intersectional feminism, etc.

Asserting that feminism is only for women rather than a movement for everyone that should put most of its focus on women because they’re historically the more oppressed of the mainstream genders. Along this same vein they may assert that men need to get out of feminism and start their own separate movement.

Talk of violence against amab people. As a joke or otherwise.

Anti-religious sentiments. Not posts about being atheist, posts about wanting to eliminate all religion and focusing heavily on how some aspects of some religions are sexist. May or may not say nasty things about Islam or Christianity specifically.

Asserting that the OP they’re replying to is a homophobe with no real evidence provided or sketchy evidence at best (especially if OP is trans, a trans ally, and/or dating a trans person)

All of the sources they provide might come from the same website. If it’s not a mainstream news source look at some of the other articles on it. It could be a transphobic and/or misandrous website or blog.

Discussion of bi women that date men and criticism of them

Criticism of asexuality or pansexuality

Criticism of the split attraction model

Taking cheap jabs at their opponent’s hobbies or urls in replies

Criticism of neopronouns

Using “she” or any other pronoun in quotes when talking about a transgender and/or non-binary person

Discussion of people that have chosen to detransition

Discussion of children that want to transition and criticism of the adults that help them do so

Add on any you think I missed! Stay safe out there and don’t go reading through those blogs any more than you have to. They can be really scary or discouraging especially if you’re a trans person and/or have a loved one that’s trans. Again, reblog if you found this useful because I’m not putting it in any tags.

[enchantedbride]

Get to Know A Little About Joey’s Self-Ships!: Lucifer/Obey Me!Joey

So I’ve talked a little about my main ship (which I made do a little follow-up post for since have a Human!Joanna AU for Three Houses). 

But! The next ship I’m going to talk about is my newest ship and the one I’m currently hyperfixating on at the time of writing this. 

Tagging: @goldenworldsabound, @foreveryours-mouse

Lucifer/Joey Andrews (also known as Obey Me!Joey)

Note: Lucifer from Obey Me! does share his name and part of his backstory with the biblical/Christian figure Lucifer. I myself was raised in a Christian household, so my upbringing initially made me feel very weird and uncomfortable about my attraction to the Obey Me! character Lucifer.  However, I eventually realized (thanks to support from my best friend and what I remembered learning growing up) that Obey Me!Lucifer and biblical Lucifer share little in common aside from those two major points. And eventually I became comfortable with it because to me, Obey Me!Lucifer (and the characters/world of Obey Me! in general) are kind of their own thing. 

And honestly? This ship has turned out to be crazy therapeutic for me. But also, I just really loved some of the stuff I’ve come up with for it concept wise.

(Warning for a Death Mention and talk of demons and angels below the cut, but otherwise there are no major warnings I can think to put atm.)

So to start off with, while Obey Me! has a pre-built self-insert for the player in the form of the MC, I didn’t really like the backstory/lore and story arc associated with the MC as far as making my own self-insert was concerned. So, Obey Me!Joey is a separate character from the MC with her own backstory and character arc and interactions. The MC is still a character though, just an OC instead of self-insert (whom I named Katherine or ‘Kat’ for short). And I did wind up messing around somewhat with the plot too to make everything work.

ANYWAY

So, Joey is one of three human students sent to the Devildom (where demons live) as part of the Royal Academy of Diavolo’s exchange program with the human world and Celestial Realm (the academy to my understanding is supposed to resemble a college/university). The exchange program was pioneered by Diavolo, Prince of the Devildom and head of the academy’s student council, in hopes to build positive relationships and understanding between demons, humans and angels.  

However, because she and Kat seem to be ordinary humans with no magic powers to protect themselves, rather than having them live with the third human exchange student and the three angelic exchange students from the Celestial Realm, Joey and Kat are instead assigned to live in the House of Lamentation. The house to the seven members of RAD’s student council (aside from Diavolo), including Prince Diavolo’s right hand man, Lucifer. 

Lucifer and Joey are both people who tend to push themselves quite hard, often neglecting to take care of themselves in pursuit of their goals. But they can and will go out of their way for others. They both deal with a lot of shame and concerns about how they appear to others, but the way it manifests in each of them in completely different. It causes them to grate against each other in the beginning, especially when compounded with the ways in which they’re different. But, over time the both of them come to deeply affect one another, and not just because of developing romantic feelings, but because they force each other to reevaluate themselves and their own perspectives. 

During the course of the year Joey is to spend at the academy, a terrible conflict breaks out between demons who support and oppose Diavolo’s exchange program. Joey attempts to protect Lucifer, Diavolo, and one of her fellow exchange students and loses her life in the process. 

However, she returns to life as an angel, and not only does she cope with the trauma of death and coming back to life, but she has to cope with her new life changing in a lot of dramatic ways. And, instead of returning to the human world, she instead is to go with the angels to the Celestial Realm at the end of her stay in the Devildom.

And as for Lucifer, he worries about not only her well-being, but what what might become of their relationship once she leaves for the Celestial Realm. 

How to best summarize their dynamic:

Lucifer doesn’t like to admit it, but Joey has him wrapped around her little finger. But even if he won’t admit it, it’s obvious from his behavior. He’d do just about anything for her. She not only challenges his perspective and changes him, but she gives him the sort of affection, validation, and space to be honest and vulnerable he has gotten from few others. He loves spoiling her when they have a chance to spend time alone together and when they’re not alone he enjoys keeping her close at hand if he can, as often as he can.

Joey’s perspective is also challenged in kind, and she receives from Lucifer a lot of care and affection that were sorely missing from her life. She is confronted with tempering her kindness and compassion with being able to think of herself and her own needs, and to develop a strength of heart to confront things she didn’t think she had the courage to face. She likes helping Lucifer step away from his work so he can rest once in a while, and to coax him to be honest, vulnerable and to treat other’s with more respect than he initially does. 

They both care for each other, and are strongly affectionate and devoted to each other. They butt heads quite a bit, though. But, usually they are able to resolve their conflicts, even the longer-lived ones.

Some Lucifer/Joey Facts: 

Part way through her stay in the Devildom, while she was still human, Lucifer and Joey made a pact as a guard against the possibility of those who opposed Diavolo and the exchange program gaining a hold magic that could allow them to control Lucifer and his brothers and turn them unwillingly against Diavolo. This pact dissolved when Joey died as a human and became an angel.

Joey doesn’t like Lucifer calling her ‘Master’ (a human who makes a pact with a demon is technically their ‘master’ for the duration of the pact). Lucifer sometimes refers to her as such in order to tease her, but only when the two of them are in private. 

Lucifer initially doesn’t like video games, but he becomes somewhat interested in strategy games after Joey slowly introduces him to them, starting with virtual chess and working her way up to a Devildom game that’s similar to Fire Emblem but has a PVP component somewhat similar to Fates. 

Lucifer winds up teaching Joey a bit about the plants that grow in the Devildom because of his interest in gardening. She can’t take care of all of his plants for him, but she can help out with a couple of them if he’s got a lot of work to do.

Cerberus (Lucifer’s dog) likes, trusts, and is very friendly towards Joey. 

Lucifer also teaches her some of the basics of being an angel after she dies and comes back as one, revealing some pieces of his time in the Celestial Realm that he normally would be reluctant to share with others.

Joey considers herself a pretty good cook. Lucifer disagrees. In his opinion, she is an excellent cook. 

I headcanon that Lucifer is actually fairly decent at mending clothing in a pinch and has fixed a couple articles of Joey’s clothing in the past. 

Joey also encourages Lucifer to be more respectful of people’s boundaries and to ask for things more often rather than demand them. He’s gotten better about this with several folks (Joey being the person he’s best about it with), but it’s trickier when it comes to his brothers since they tend not to listen to him unless he’s being a dick. It’s a work in progress. 

Simeon was Lucifer’s wingman and Diavolo was Joey’s wingman for Lucifer and Joey getting together. 

Simeon’s The Seven Lords novels are based on Lucifer and his brothers, and he eventually added a character based on Joey (named Lady Fortitude) whose in a relationship with Lucifer’s stand in character in the series, the Lord of Corruption. 

Joey becomes one of the few people besides Diavolo who can get through to Lucifer when he’s in a rage. Initially, she can only keep him talking long enough for Diavolo to come and calm him down, but as she and Lucifer get closer, she gains the ability to calm him down herself. 

[ego-driven-one-wing-angel]

Send a number | Answers

Thanks again for 250 followers!!!

What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?

A penguin. I love them so much.

Favorite thing to wear to sleep?

Sometimes I wear one of those “drug rugs” or baja hoodies. With shorts. And sometimes knee high socks. I HATE pajama pants. So if I’m cold I find alternatives. 

What song really gets you going?

Right now, Drinking Alone by Carrie Underwood. But usually Tranz by Gorillaz.

Where do you usually eat your meals?

At my dining table or in the family/living room with my mom.

Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

BRUNCH

Most embarrassing habit?

Sometimes I’ll pick my nose at the most inconvenient times like a child.

Chocolate or fruity candy?

Chocolate

Soft or hard tacos?

When I ate meat regularly, soft, with carne asada. 

Worst way to break up a fight?

Throwing a pan at them? Dude I don’t know. Wrestle them to the ground? I feel like either of those are terrible.

Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?

“You’re all probably wondering why I gathered you all here today.”

What color/design are your bedsheets?

Teal. And my comforter is a black/white diamond pattern.

Any hidden talents?

I was a dancer for roughly nine years. So I’m pretty good at that.

Favorite thing to drink out of (mug, glass, etc.)?

My Star Wars Luke Skywalker lightsaber water bottle. 

Socks or bare feet around the house?

Bare feet man. Those who wear shoes in the house are weak and will not survive the winter.

 Favorite board game?

Clue!

Do you sleep with the fan on or off?

I don’t even own a fan.

Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?

Heat at 67.5 and a sweater. Perfection.

Do you sing in the shower?

Who doesn’t?

Favorite song to belt out at the top of your lungs when you’re alone?

Tranz by Gorillaz. All time favorite song EVER.

Last thing you cried about?

Watching Zack die YET AGAIN in Crisis Core. I don’t think I’ve ever watched that scene WITHOUT crying.

At what age did you first have alcohol?

15ish. Wine.

Relationship status?

Single

What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?

249$ A Guess coat that I absolutely adore.

What do you typically wear to formal events?

A modest dress. Heels. And a Louis Vuitton bag to match.

Favorite memory?

Probably almost getting arrested with my friends back when I was 17. We were at a closed park, after hours, past curfew, and it was like 3 am. We bought 64 tacos from Jack in the Box and pigged out in the venue. Super rad.

Gum or breath mints?

Gum

Favorite shoes?

Probably my Guess sneakers. I don’t wear them often, but I love the design.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My chubbiness. I’m not fat per say. But I’m not skinny either, but I want to look more like a classic, 1950′s pinup model more than anything.

What is the natural state of your hair?

My hair has very soft curls. Naturally, there more like “beach waves”

Have you ever had braces?

YES. WORST YEARS OF MY LIFE

Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Ghost hunting. I was illegally trespassing, and the building was real sketchy. 

Most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?

I’m just an embarrassment through and through. What haven’t they caught me doing. But I guess writing porn is a close first.

Last time you had an orgasm?

I’m a virgin who has never experienced anything remotely sexual. 

Celebrity crush(es)?

Sebastian Stan, Bill Skarsgard, Sam Claflin, Karl Urban, Sebastian Stan

Windows or Mac?

I’ve never owned a Mac, so I’m biased when I say Windows.

How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?

Six, seven? I was still quite young.

Makeup or natural?

MAKEUP

What color do you wear the most?

I wear a lot of neutral colors like gray.

Favorite season?

Winter.

Umbrella or rain coat?

Umbrella.

Have you ever fallen out of a tree?

No

First car you ever owned?

A 2002 Toyota. Super old, and the chip was painting off. My trunk also broke. Oil leak. Y’know, a traditional first car.

What time do you usually go to bed?

Anytime between 11-1 am.

Are you a competitive person?

Yes.

Least favorite color?

Orange.

First pet you’ve ever owned?

A cat :)

Sweet or salty?

Sweet

Favorite pasta dish?

Ravioli 

Favorite kind of chips?

Cheetos

Talk about something you’re passionate about.

Writing. I love being able to put my ideas on paper, let my thoughts and emotions run free in a world where I have to act a certain way. I can be anyone while writing!

What are some of your hobbies?

Writing

Drawing

Watching too much television

puzzles

Caffeine? If so, what kind?

I’m a tea gal. But I LOVE coffee. Especially mochas and caramel. With extra pumps of espresso. Hell yeah.

Favorite kind of pizza?

Ranch and Chicken or just plain cheese.

Fast food or sit-down restaurant?

Sit-down

Lots of acquaintances or a handful of close friends?

I love having a large circle, but I choose my best friends wisely. I only have about two or three of those and they’re the one’s I keep close to my heart.

Something that ruins your appetite?

This is a bit more dark, but my dad and I don’t bond outside video games. And he’s the type that believes it’s his way or no way no matter what. So if you get him angry he acts like a two-year-old who just got a toy taken away, and will try to push your buttons until you’re the same way. I saw the signs years ago, but whenever his anger is targeted at me I just don’t want to eat. I write instead. 

Favorite labels about you?

As in names? It’s near 1 am while writing this so I might have just gone stupid. But I love it when my friends call me cutie. Or my good friend Charlie calls me Smarties. And he’ll pull out a smartie from his pocket when he does it. I also get called Reid, as in Spencer Reid, a lot.

Are you a religious person?

Yes. I try to be at least. I’m Christian.

Night out with a bunch of friends in public or night in with one friend having deep conversations?

Night out. I spend too much time indoors with one friend as is.

What size shoe do you wear?

9

Favorite thing about yourself?

My confidence, or my keen fashion sense. 

Have you ever told someone you loved them first?

No.

Have you ever had sex on the first date?

No.

Heroes or villains?

Villains. (Sephiroth, Bucky Barnes, Loki, etc.)

Favorite fruit?

Pomegranates. 

Least favorite fruit?

Bananas. I’ll eat them, but there are a lot better choices honestly. 

Favorite vegetable?

Broccoli

Least favorite vegetable?

Brussels sprouts

How many plates can you eat at a buffet?

About a good three. First is salad. Second is fruit. Third is desert. 

Favorite dessert?

Ice cream. Bubble gum flavor is my favorite!

Do you play any sports?

Nope.

Age you learned how to swim?

Seven or eight.

Tell a funny story.

Maybe this is just funny to me, but earlier today my cat was trying to lick her coat but she set her front paw on a piece of paper and anytime she bent over to lick herself she slid and she would have to readjust herself. She did this like four times before she decided to move.

What’s one interesting thing about your culture?

As someone who is a part of the Navajo tribe, something neat is the more fat you have on your bones the more people respect you because they believe you have money.

What’s one annoying thing about your culture?

We can’t touch cold-blooded animals. It’s said if you touch the scales of a snake, or even breath in the same air, you’ll get the same skin as them.

What job would you be terrible at?

Accounting. I can’t do math to save my freaking life.

Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?

TV shows.

What’s your favorite compliment to give?

“Cute Outfit!” or “Love the Hair!” You have no idea how many people light up on either of these, male/female/nonbinary. Looking good is a happiness found across all the spectrums. 

What’s your favorite compliment to receive?

“Cute hair.” Or “Love your makeup/nails.” 

Has your opinion changed on something recently?

I can’t remember. Like I said, it’s close to bedtime where I’m at and boi, it’s hard to concentrate right now.

Do you always order the same thing at a restaurant or order something different each time?

I order the same. 

What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

This sounds awful, but I’ve always wanted to try ecstasy. I have buddies who’ve taken it and say, if you do it right, the first time is pretty bomb. 

If you could learn to do anything right now, what would it be?

Singing. I can’t carry a tune.

Favorite physical feature about yourself?

My eyes.

Least favorite physical feature about yourself?

My wide hip/waist ratio. If my waist was thinner I wouldn’t mind as much.

What’s one amazing thing you did that nobody was around to see?

OKAY. I scored a strike on Wii bowling while i was on the toilet one time. Two rooms away and not even looking at a screen. Just using my heart and determination and it was SUPER COOL AND I WISH PEOPLE COULD HAVE SEEN THOSE SKILLS.

If you could change your height, would you?

Yes. Everyone is a good foot taller than me. So I would most definitely want a few more inches.

What’s something you would rate 10/10?

Final Fantasy 7 Remake’s Character concept for Sephiroth. The eyes, the height, the hair. WOW. In love.

Heels or flats?

Heels

What’s something you wish you had more knowledge about?

Politics. I want to get more involved but every time I do I get so confused.

Would you want to be famous?

I wouldn’t mind. But I value my private life.

What’s something you would get arrested for?

Well I already almost got arrested for eating tacos in a closed park at 3 am. So maybe that.

What’s your spirit animal?

A cat. 

What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

The fact that I graduated high school. I was developing anxiety and literally had no idea what the frick was happening with me and no one told me what it was. So I ended up skipping loads of school for that reason. 

Are you the type to have an organized mess, or no mess at all?

Organized mess. Or just a mess. 

Do you tend to make decisions based on the past, present, or future?

The future.

Are you a planner or a more spontaneous person?

Planner. I hate when things are sprung on me last minute. I have to emotionally prep up before a social event so 5-10 business days are needed.

Thoughts on the oxford comma?

I was taught to use it, but it’s literally so useless? I found myself either not using it or just doing it on instinct. So in one story you could probably find multiple instances where I use it and where I don’t use it, maybe in the same paragraph. I just do whatever fits that moment I guess.

What do you hope never changes?

My squad. I love them to pieces and it would break my heart if at some point they’d want to split.

How would you celebrate your 100th birthday?

Something extremely dangerous like skydiving or zip lining across a canyon. 

[lookbluesoup]

Fallout OC Interview

@robobrainmurdermysterytheatre and @quinndecker214 tagged me to do this LITERAL AGES ago! Thanks for this and IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG it got lost in my drafts I hope it was worth the wait //shot I TAG @nuclearvessel @ronqueesha @tarberrymentats @wild-w4steland-snip3r @daddyfuckinlonglegs @saltsealed @thewookieruns No pressure!!

Choose an OC.

Answer them as that OC.

Tag 5 people to do the same.

1. What is your name? Nathaniel Christian Wright. Maiden name Ronan, if, aha, you like fun-facts.

2. How old are you? You know I lost count somewhere after 240?

3. What do you look like?

4. Where are you from? Where do you live now? I was born a good ways South of here, spent most of my childhood there. Moved to Boston... before the War. Now I stay with Piper in Diamond City between work, got an infield view and everything! Never would have bet on that the day I woke up in the Vault. I guess life’s funny, hunh? I - ...I’m glad to be there.

5. What was your childhood like? Oh, nothing special, really. My Pa was ex-military, a chaplain. Ma stayed home to tend the house, and raise rambunctious sons. She was - good. I wonder sometimes whether she’d be proud of me, out here.

6. What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions? Well, I am K i n g of the Castle - a-hem, I mean, General. Yeah, just General. (//Ronnie distantly yells something about the joke not being funny the 80th time)

[[There are rumors of Nate being a leading Railroad Agent, but he absolutely would not admit to that in a casual interview xD]]

7. Tell me about your best friend. Deacon? Hah! What can’t I tell you about him! He’s got a two-dozen kids. Twelve wives. One’s a ghoul. He’s also a synth, but you didn’t hear that from me. Has an extra toe on his left foot. Those sunglasses aren’t a fashion statement, they’re glued to his face. Horrible accident, really. Inoperable. He can speak five languages, including Zetan. I swear, it’s all true! But, ah. He’s a good friend. Better than he knows.

8. Do you have a family? Tell me about them! My son, Shaun, lives here at the Castle. I wish I could bring him to Diamond City, let him make friends with the other kids, try to give him something of the life he might’ve had before the War. But I’ve got enemies. The Minutemen have enemies. Comes with the job. It’s safer for Shaun to be here, out of the limelight. And also, you know, with a barracks full of guns ready at a minute’s notice if there’s trouble. My men are family, too. Hell, I feel closer to the people here than I did most of my own blood in the old world. There’s also my butler, Codsworth. And Natalie, Piper’s little sister - well, she may as well be my little sister, too. But hey, keep that one off the record. Nat’d never forgive me.

9. What about a partner or partners? I’m a happily tethered man, bound for life to one kickass reporter, Mrs. Wright. You may have heard of her. 

10. Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them? [Nate seems more guarded] Yeah, I know them. That graveyard across the channel used to be their airship. I wish it had ended differently, but... well, war never changes.

11. Who are your enemies, and why? I suppose that’s a natural follow-up question. Well, most of the Raider gangs will attack on sight. Gunners, too. But we’ve managed to clear a pretty safe stretch between major towns over the past year. Since the Minutemen have established a pro-synth stance, more than a few settlements shut their doors on us. Lost a fair number of volunteers. But no violence so far. Other than that... the remnants of Brotherhood here aren’t fond of me, personally. Why? We parted on bad terms. Lets just - leave it at that. Anyone else out here can tell you the story. There are Institute survivors, too. We tried to get as many noncombatants out as we could the day it fell, but it was a battle. It was messy. A lot haven’t forgiven me for turning on them. [sighs] ...Can you blame them? The Minutemen have kept a running list of Courser sightings since then. So many still aren’t accounted for. Keeps me up at night, sometimes.  

12. What about The Enclave? I’ve heard rumors. None of them good. 13. How do you feel about Super Mutants? Tough bastards. I wish we could help them. I know they don’t all go crazy, and Virgil was making progress on a cure. But I haven’t seen him in years. We’re not - really on speaking terms.

14. Have you ever fought a Deathclaw? More than once, and never unscathed. Not bragging! It’s the truth. Take a look at this, [he rolls back his sleeve to show a massive scar running over his upper arm] Piper and I got pinned down, lizard gutted me and nearly lost me an arm. Also? Ruined my best flannel shirt.

15. What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in? Bunker Hill. What a hellscape. Between the Railroad and the Institute, things were hot enough. But somehow the Brotherhood found out, too. It’s a wonder Bunker Hill wasn’t razed to the ground. My Courser escort was killed in a Railroad ambush and the synths we were after escaped. I barely got out alive.

[[Nate actually killed X4-18 and helped the synths escape, but that’s another Railroad secret :’D]] 16. Do you like fighting? No. But I’ll do what I have to to stay alive and protect the people I care about. 17. What’s your weapon of choice? A modified radium rifle. I was a sniper back in my army days, it’s what I’m trained in. But if the fight does get close, this gun’s versatile enough to still be useful. Wish my loadout back in Anchorage did that. I’m fond of the laser musket, too - but you only get one shot, and then everyone will know exactly where you are. Strategically it’s too limited.

18. How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?) My winning charm, of course! [winks] And trekking all over the Commonwealth keeps me fit for when folks aren’t so interested in talking. Piper keeps the luck for both of us. I’m - pretty sure I’m cursed, actually.

S(6) P(7) E(8) C(11) I(7) A(5) L(2)

19. Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them? I suppose I should be grateful, really. If not for the Vaults, I’d have died two centuries ago. I’d never have met Piper, or taught Shaun to play baseball. None of this... none of this at all would have happened. [grimaces] Don’t get me wrong. Vault-tec was fucking insane. The things they did to people in some of those Vaults-? I was uncharacteristically lucky. There’s a reason they call me the Sole Survivor, and it’s not from winning some tv game show about living on an island.

20. How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you? My Pip-Boy has a Geiger counter built in so I can avoid the worst of it. But sometimes it can’t be helped. I always keep Rad-Away and Rad-X on hand. Other than that, I bring the old vault suit to wear under my clothes if I know exposure’s inevitable. It helps a little. Piper likes to tease me about that, but somehow I think she prefers me with hair and less than six limbs. Plus, my ass looks great in blue. Her words. Not mine. Yes, you can quote that.

21. What’s your favorite wasteland critter? The radstags, no doubt! [motions to Legs Washington] Look at those little extra arms wiggling around. Adorable.

22. What’s your least favorite wasteland critter? Yao guais. They are way too stealthy for something that big. I dunno what they’re eating up in Maine, but Far Harbor was full of them. Big, grumpy ones. And look, have you ever tried to outrun a bear? Don’t.

23. How do you feel about robots? I like the ones that aren’t shooting at me! Codsworth and Ada are friends. Isabel’s eyebot, Sparks? Adorable. I even got this hat from an old Sentry named Ironsides. Those Rust Devils and their junk bots though? I try not to fight them without a lot of backup. Got ambushed by a Succubus once. Not a good time. At all.

24. How many caps do you have on you right now? Why, you planning to rob me? Kidding. About 200, which is a lot for me generally speaking.

25. Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla? [Suddenly excited] Wait, does Sunset Sarsaparilla still exist?

26. Do you do chems? Aside from Med-X when I’ve been shot? Not if I can help it.

27. Do you ever think about the Pre-War world? Not as often as in the beginning, but it does happen sometimes. I’ll have dreams where I’m back in my old life, and it’s always... disorienting.

28. What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently? There are - a lot. I’ll admit it. Sometimes I wonder, if I’d only just - hm... Well. To be honest, I’ve been trying not to linger so much on what I’ve done wrong, and focus on what I can do right for the future instead. Piper taught me that.

29. What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?  I’ll always be proud to call myself Mr. Wright. If I can be half the man Piper tells me I am, I’ll consider it a life well lived.

30. What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world? Geeze, you could give my wife a run for her money with a loaded question like that! I want... a future where folks don’t have to be afraid of monsters coming after them in the night. I want synths to have a fair chance at living their own lives, as who they are, without pretending. I want Shaun to - be able to grow up. For myself? Everything I need is right here already.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

h e y i just found quakerism through Jessica Kellgren-Fozard's videos and i?? kinda love it?? i would love if you had any helpful info on the religion or just.. more to read about it bc i love the concept of a diverse religion that isn't neccesarily theistic :O

yo!

so i personally think quakers are pretty rad, however, i haven’t been a quaker that long and also they tend to vary a lot worldwide. which means my experience is all related to british quakers (’britain yearly meeting’) and doesn’t necessarily apply elsewhere -- american quakers are pretty different from what i know. i see from your bio that you’re australian and honestly until i googled it just now i didn’t even know there were quakers in australia so i have no idea what they’re like oops

when i first discovered quakers i went to quaker quest, which is like... newcomers’ sessions that BYM run at their headquarters at friends’ house. except i only actually went to like. one. but it was good bc they talked about specific elements of quakerism and had various speakers talking about their own personal experiences

that’s always the way -- quakerism is an experience-based faith so there’s never going to be one viewpoint on anything. ask two quakers a question and you’ll get five answers lol. so hearing different people’s perspectives was really informative!

there are quite a lot of books out there (i haven’t read that many yet)... if you were in the uk i’d rec getting in touch with the quaker quest outreach team because they send you a couple of free books in the post, but since you’re not, it might be worth investigating whether there’s anything similar where you are? there are a bunch of downloadable pamphlets on the AYM website which might be helpful

books i’ve found useful include living our beliefs (kind of a stripped-back version of quaker faith and practice), and becoming a quaker: a guide for newcomers by geoffrey durham which is quite a nice introductory guide that mostly matched my experiences (though not 100%). those are the two that quaker quest send out -- but again, they’re pretty uk-specific. there’s an interesting book called god, words and us which explores different understandings of god, including hearing the perspectives of non-theist quakers, as well as those with more polytheistic approaches and also those with like... impersonal/abstract understandings of god rather than the trad christian trinity. i found that book left me with more questions than answers but it can be interesting if you wanna know the range of views that quakers can hold

(here’s a link to the quaker bookshop if you wanna have a browse and see what’s out there)

tbh though my main advice is to go along to a meeting and see what it’s like for yourself. afterwards there’ll be a chance to chat to people there and they will probably be happy to give you many leaflets and tell you many things! also a lot of meetings here have a library where you can borrow quaker books, so they might have that too. going to a meeting doesn’t mean committing to anything so it’s not like you have to Be A Quaker to go, yunno?

there are also a couple of quaker discord servers (both of the ones i’m in are fairly quiet, but not totally dead) so if you wanna join lmk and i can send you an invite

there’s also the quaker subreddit, but tbh that’s more used by people just discovering quakerism and asking a lot of questions so maybe there are fewer answers there than questions (people’s replies might be helpful tho! and if you wanna ask anything you can do that)

anyway i hope this helped but feel free to ask me more about it! quakerism is weird and nebulous so like. whatever answers i give will only ever be my answers and may bear zero resemblance to anyone else’s and also i may not even have a clearly defined answer, but that’s half the fun. someone said at my meeting this morning that they felt quakers was a space where their belief and unbelief could coexist peacefully, and that it had always been important to them that both were present. i like that at a lot.

[betweengenesisfrogs]

The City of the Old Emperors: Thoughts on Openbound

DJay’s post reminded me that I have a lot of vague thoughts about Openbound, which I’ve never managed to organize into a coherent essay. In part, I was waiting for DJay to share his idea of Openbound as a kind of katabasis (journey to the underworld), which is central to a lot of my thinking these days. Now that that idea’s arrived, let me talk about some of my own.

Spoilers, as with all the best Homestuck analysis, for the book version of The Neverending Story.

1.

So. I’m very much in agreement with DJay’s big thesis that the shallow, annoying personas the Dancestors hide in are a ruse - a distaction, if you will. The dancestors present themselves as annoying, one-note characters, but they actually have a lot of history and pretty complex psychology if you look a little further - it’s just that at *this* point, after a billion years of living out their memories they’ve retreated into simplistic roles that they can safely play without engaging any more deeply with their past. Terezi and Karkat even acknowledge this, calling them caricatures. I love DJay’s term - “shades.”

I think where this really clicked for me was in in-story Hussie’s comment on Latula. He claims there’s nothing more to her other than being a cool rad gamegrl radgirl coolgirl.

This is obvious bullshit. Talking to her as Porrim reveals that Latula puts on the gamegirl persona as a way of dealing with other people, and she’s actually kind of relieved to be able to drop the act and acknowledge her problems. Relatedly, talking to Kankri as her reveals that she’s dealing with the problem of him awkardly hitting on her, which is one reason she retreats into a Gamegrl persona around him.

This is true for basically all of the characters introduced in Openbound. In-story, Kurloz is dismissed as a ridiculous mime when he’s helping Gamzee orchestrate LE’s rise and suppressing the agency of his friends (oh hey, Gamzee does this too, putting on the persona of “lolrandom incomprehensible prankster”); Cronus is indeed terrible, but terrible in a “what could have been kind of way” where he once had the chance to be a Harry Potter-esque hero; Mituna babbles and insults but only because he burnt his brain out making a great heroic sacrifice, Damara distracts the pretty significant statements she’s making about LE with vulgarity, Rufioh is pretty insecure beneath being Rufioh ...the list goes on.

So Hussie, in his in-story persona, is a god damn liar, and this is key to everything to that comes next.

The funny thing is, you don’t get the real stories from Hussie. You get it from talking to Aranea, which is framed as an act of “indulging” her, and by extension the author...but it’s only this “background” information which gives these characters complex lives and motivations beyond their personas. The effect it has is not of indulgence - the effect is to frame the whole dancestor ballet as a non-indulgence, revealing them as deeper than they seem.

(At this point, though, many readers will already be sick of them, and miss what’s really going on.)

Porrim would seem to be the one exception. In her case, though, I think it’s not so much that the reader doesn’t recognize her complexity as a person, but that her friends don’t. They stereotype her as being all about sex and relationship when her sex positivity is actually part of a larger goal of honestly examining her society. She’s the only one who can see the personas for what they are, since she recognizes it as something put on her from the outside.

2.

The theme of a voyage to the underworld (katabasis) can be analyzed a number of different ways, and all of them fit Homestuck. As an epic, Homestuck of course has an obligation to go to the land of the dead halfway through its story, so that the protagonist can learn something they need to know.

If there’s anything we’re learning these days, though, the protagonist of the epic Homestuck isn’t a character,  it’s the MSPA reader. It’s us who make the journey to Homestuck’s underworld. Meenah plays the role of hero there, with Aranea her guide, but we know that we move through which characters we control, each of them being temporary analogues for our will. We are the ones who descend into its hell.

(And now I think we’re finally figuring out what we’re supposed to learn there.)

Just as DJay says, the fact that these characters are reduced to stereotyped shades is all Lord English’s fault. Literally, they’ve been hollowed-out by millions of years of being trapped in their memories, thanks to his machinations ruining their lives, and now face his threat again in the afterlife. Metafictionally, we’ve been asked *not* to care about them by the narrative, in the same way Caliborn demands that we don’t give a shit about Homestuck. That’s LE’s great power over the narrative: the threat of apathy.

3.

I tend to think of Life, in Homestuck’s platonic-narrative symbolic system, as representing positive character growth, and by extension things that readers experience as positive development. It’s interesting, then, that the one who brings these dead souls back to life is Meenah, a Life player. It’s even more interesting in that it’s Meenah who deprived them of their lives in the first place. Thinking to escape a dead session for the afterlife, the Thief of Life robbed them of their literal lives, but she also robbed them of their chance to grow as a people. They are thus echoes and victims of LE’s nature as a being that cannot grow or change, and is doomed because of it. But also, it’s kind of Meenah’s fault. Her frustration with them echoes her own choices.

(Worth noting, though, that Tavros is able to persuade them to take part in the final fight against him! It’s subtle, but a little burst of Life at the last moment.)

4.

Openbound is full of good parallels to katabasis mythology. The dream-bubble afterlife echoes both Greek Hades and Christian hell. Homestuck’s dancestors are a lot like the shades Odysseus and Aeneas encounter: they’re faded ghosts, “shades,” who can’t speak until the hero gives them blood to restore their intelligence for a brief time. In Homestuck, what we - and Meenah - give them is a brief window of attention. But it won’t last, and it won’t restore them to life. But it’s also Dante’s Hell. Dante sees souls undergoing ironic punishments, trapped by their own greed, avarice, and lust. The limitation of their will is what keeps them in hell.

There’s one more descent story which I think is very instructive here, though.

And that would be the City of the Old Emperors from Michael Ende’s The Neverending Story, a tale which has quite a bit of relevance for Homestuck.

5.

The first half of The Neverending Story featured the protagonist Bastian being called into the pages of the book and the world of Fantastica, explicitly stated to be a realm made of humanity’s ideas, to recreate this world anew. In the second half of the book, he does so. Unfortunately, as he becomes more sure of his world-creating power, Bastian loses the memory of his own humanity, and begins to forget that Fantastica is not merely his plaything. Declaring himself Emperor, he tries to pretend he created it all, when really he was only acting through the power of another, The Childlike Empress. Bastian soon undergoes a spectacular fall at the hands of his previous allies and friends.Only then can he wake from his reverie and find the last wish he needs to achieve redemption.

But for that redemption to happen, he needs to go into a kind of underworld himself, to learn what mistake it was that he was making.

After being defeated by his friends, Bastian stumbles into a strange city. His horse disappears under him, and he falls - down, down into a crater, where there is a city of strange buildings, full of people in strange clothes doing bizarre things. Before long, he finds a monkey-like guide named Argax, who calls the place the City of the Old Emperors. These strange figures, Argax informs him, were all people from the human world who declared themselves Emperors as Bastian did, and this is the sad result.

“How did they get here? What are they doing here?”

“Oh, there have always been humans who couldn’t find their way back to their world,” Argax explained. “First they didn’t want to, and now, in a manner of speaking, they can’t.[...]”

“Why can’t they?” he asked.

“They’d have to wish it. And they’ve stopped wishing. They used up their last wish for something else.”

“Their last wish?” said Bastian, going deathly pale. “Can’t a person go on wishing as long as he pleases?”

“[...]No! No!” he chattered. “You can only wish as long as you remember your world. These people here used up all their memories. Without a past you can’t have a future. That’s why they don’t get older. Just look at them. Would you believe that some of them have been here a thousand years and more? But they stay just as they are. Nothing can change for them, because they themselves can’t change anymore.”

- The Neverending Story, Chapter 23, pg 378-379

Bastian learns that all these people used up their wishes, leaving them unable to understand or interact with the world. Imagination eludes them - they can only tell stories by randomly forming words from jumbles of letters. Because they didn’t understand where their wishes were coming from, they were left without the capacity for wishes altogether

Another way of saying this is that they were left without will. They have no will to impact the world, because they turned away from the world altogether, retreating into a false idea of themselves. A persona, and not a person who could grow.

This is exactly the position we find the dancestors in in Homestuck. In both Homestuck and the Neverending Story, the limitations of one’s own will are the limitations of one’s agency to influence reality, and the Beforans have given up their will. Theirs is the same mistake as Bastian’s, as Caliborns, and it leaves them hollowed-out, unpleasant, shallow people.

It is their ideas about their will that failed them.

From his encounter with the Old Emperors, Bastian learns the truth about his wishes, enabling him to make his last few wishes count, and bringing him to where he needs to be to find the Waters of Life and make his final wish a wish for his own capacity to love.

So what do we need to learn from the Beforans?

Like us, Bastian is at once both a reader and the protagonist of the story. Michael Ende uses Bastian’s experience to argue that readers have a responsibility to the stories they read and tell. We must give them dignity by breathing life into them, rather than read them in self-indulgent, shallow ways, and we must be willing to grow as we read them.

Homestuck suggests much the same thing. Just as Bastian needed to descend to the hell of the Old Emperors to understand his mistake, we need to descend to the hell of the Dancestors to understand the final confrontation with Caliborn. Like them, we are offered a choice. We are shown his limited view of the world - a view that reduces Homestuck to shallow jokes. We must decide whether we will become him - or set ourselves free.

And to set them free, from the hell they’ve made for themselves, we must also, difficult as it is, believe that the Dancestors can change, more than they can believe it themselves.

In presenting us with their ballet, Hussie challenges us with his favorite question: are we going to accept the surface level,  that Homestuck is just a bad joke full of meaningless flat characters?

Or are we going to take up his challenge to look a little deeper, to breathe life into them and believe there’s more going on beneath the surface - even, no, especially when it’s hardest to do so?

The dark hell of Openbound is the other side of the triumph of Calliope’s Rapture. Homestuck’s fractal structure reflects itself many times over, again and again asking us what we make of it, because we can make of it what we will.

But what will we make of it?

Ah, that is our story, and will be told another time.

[nautseverywhere]

OC Interview

Was tagged by @rakimaiirisa

Thanks honey! I took your additions and ran with them!

Rules

1. Choose an OC. 2. Answer them as that OC. 3. Tag 5  people to do the same.

I choose my Fallout 4 OC Christian Washington. His hair is usually down to mid back but, he cut it in a fit of rage after his first trip to the Institute.

1.“ What is your full name? ” Christian Washington.

2. “Do you know why you named that?” My family were extremely religious....for me, they picked Christian and my twin sister got off lightly with Christina. Damn the teasing we got for practically having the same name.

3. “Are you single or taken?” I am happily taken....by that angry looking guy tending to the power armor over there....he’s a sweetheart really.

4. “Have any powers or abilities?” I can disassemble a gun quicker than you can ask me to but that's about it.

5. “Stop being a Mary sue” Do not fucking insult me.

6.,“Whats your eye color?”     Blue.

7. “Hair color? ”      Very very red......

8. “Have any family members? ”  Not any more....well.....a son but, that in itself is a very long and not pleasant story and I do not wish to go into details.

9.“ Oh, how bout pets?   A German Shepherd called Dogmeat.

10. Moving on to something different, Are there things you don’t like?”

Everyone says raiders these days but me? I hate Assaultrons...those bitches can fuck me up royally!!!

11. “Do you have any activities or hobbies you like to do?” I do like cooking, even though.....well....my eating issues and my mind stopping me eating much of the time (I am working on it) but, I love looking after my friends and companions. I do like going hunting with MacCready, the occasional Jet with Hancock much to my partners displeasure and ofcourse, traveling with my partner.

12.“ Have you hurt anyone on purpose before? ” Yes. They deserved it.

13. “Ever…killed anyone before? ”       Yes....see above.

14. “What kind of animal are you? ” ……….

15. “ Name your bad habits?” I smoke too much....way too much. I wouldn't call my eating disorder a bad habit but it feels like it at times. I swear too much but, well...have you met Cait? Fuck, she can put me to shame.

16. “Do you look up to anyone at all?” Paladin Danse....well, just Danse now. He took me under his wing, taught me to be a soldier again. Taught me about this strange world I woke up in (don't ask). Sounds corny as fuck but he taught me to feel again.

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual? I’ m gay but labels like this don’t sit well with me and really, nobody in the wasteland cares who I fuck.

18. Do you go to school? I did when I was a kid, dropped out at 15. Fell in with the wrong crowd.

19. “Do you ever want to be married and have children?” Ahhhh…..I do have a son. I donated for my best friend before the war. She didn't want to sleep with a guy to have a kid so she went through everything artificially. Damn cute kid if I do say so. I’ve been married just over a year....remember I mentioned Danse? Yeah, him.

20. "Do you have any fanboys or girls? ”     What the fuck?

21. What are you most afraid of?   I cannot lose my new family. I cannot.

22. “What do you usually wear? Generally my black fatigues, combat boots, either my old BadWolf (mod) t-shirt or one of Danse’s old BoS ones. Sniper rifle always strapped to my back and my bag here...need to carry loads of shit back home to sort through and break down for components. Danse hates lugging everything back. Tough luck, he is built like a brick shit house and can carry EVERYTHING!!!!!

23.whats one food that tempts you? I don’t feel comfortable talking about this. Sorry.

24. "Am I annoying to you? ” Everything is irritating these days. 

25. “Well, it’s not over.! ” Ugh, I am loath to reluctantly accept my fate.

26.what class are you(low/middle/high?“ Fuck I was low class when I was young. I left my family, ran rough in the streets for a bit, joined the army. Then I moved in with my best friend Summer and that was good. She accepted me for me. Wierdly I have enough caps these days to put into production but, class systems don’t really work here...

27. "How many friends do you have? ” A few I trust implicitly. The top ones being Danse, Curie, Cait, Preston and MacCready.

28. “What are your thoughts on pie? ” ……...

29.Favorite drink?  An ice cold cherry cola....shame it’s a rarity these days

30.“Whats your favorite place?” Home Plate. Our private getaway from the world. The place where I feel safest and loved.

31. “Are you interested in anyone?”   My husband? Have you seen him? He is fucking hot. And a caring, kind, flawed human. Don’t know what I would do without him.

32.“Im sorry, that was a stupid question. ” What?

33.Would you rather swim in a lake or an ocean? “ And get roasted with rads? Nope.

34. "What’s your type? ” That guy (points to Danse) but seriously, I love a guy who can make me laugh, make me roll my eyes at him, comfort me when I am down and most importantly, help me when I need it. I am in therapy now with Curie and Danse is always there, silent and strong with me but who also will not put up with my bullshit.

35. “Any fetishes?“ Oh hell no, I am not talking about my private sex life with anyone.

36. Camping or outdoors?

Is that not the same thing? I like being inside at night, less ghouls to munch on me.

[radramblog]

Album Discussion- Viva La Vida- Coldplay

Oh shit, is Rad gunning for the throat of what was once one of the biggest bands in the world again, no actually, I really like this album, why would I talk about albums I hate. I’m not sure I have the comedic acumen to manage that yet, but I guess we’ll find out when I inevitably try.

Viva La Vida is Coldplay’s 4th studio album and one I have a lot of personal nostalgia for. It’s permanently associated with a particular time in my life, where I got the album added to an MP3 player I had and listened to it constantly over and over, and somehow didn’t get sick of it. It’s also the last album from the era in which they were actually good (haven’t listened to Everyday Life yet though), though it’s kinda a major departure from the sound and tone of the previous 3.

It’s also the first one where they really start getting up their own ass. Like, that font? And the French Revolution imagery? I guess there’s something to be said for such but relatively clean band having artwork featuring someone’s entire tiddy out on their album, but I suppose it’s considered a tasteful nude given the context of the original painting. Anyway.

The album opens with Life in Technicolor, spelled without the u despite them being British because fuck me, I guess. This instrumental really quickly establishes that this is going to be a different one- Coldplay’s previous work is extremely solid if vaguely generic alt-rock instrumentation, and here comes this song with a…. (looks it up)…santoor? Which sounds completely different to anything else they’ve put out. It’s also, again, an instrumental, which is pretty unique for the band considering how heavy a focus Chris Martin’s vocals tend to get. What we end up with is this short and sweet little introductory piece that I don’t have much else to say about other than I really like it. What I can briefly comment on is Life in Technicolor II, the version released as a single and on the EP immediately following this album. It’s like, twice as long, as full on vocals, and as a result overstays its welcome by quite a bit. It’s not like the vocals are bad, but they really do feel tacked on.

Cemeteries of London is next up, a ghost story of a track with heavy Christian themes and folk influences. There’s this echoey guitar in the backdrop of this that gives it an eerie edge, even with the relatively chill acoustic lead. I think putting so much clapping in such a minor-key track is a bold play, and it seems to have paid off for them. This song feels almost bleak, even desperate at times, like the vocals’ peak describing an encounter with God that doesn’t quite work out. There’s an unspoken tragedy here. It’s another of the album’s better tracks.

Lost! (exclamation point is part of the title) is a bit more uptempo, but not really any more upbeat. I don’t know what instrument is making that beat, but it sounds neato, and they just have a church organ running through this whole thing, because why not, sounds aight. It’s kinda U2-ey, which isn’t really a compliment coming from me. I would be very interested in another artist’s take on this track- and I don’t mean Lost+, that’s awful and doesn’t fucking count.

42 is the next track, and I don’t think that’s a Hitchhiker’s Guide reference. It’s again, extremely moody, or at least, the first part is. The composition of this is actually really interesting, it’s basically three separate songs mashed into one. The first part is the moody piano bit, the middle a banging instrumental bit, and the last bit this really fun collision of both types of instrumentation. Ultimately, 42 is an experiment that was probably for the best, since I’m entirely confident any part of this being the full song would get old real quick. But the split means none of them overstay their welcome.

Speaking of overstaying welcomes, Lovers in Japan is almost 7 minutes, and as a result was the track I always skipped as a kid. This is because the album version contains a second song in it, “Reign of Love”, which isn’t its own track for reasons that are completely alien to me. Much like Lost!, Lovers in Japan feels extremely U2, soaring guitars and choruses, but I just did not vibe with that as a kid and it’s hard to come back to now as a result. Reign of Love, on the other hand, basically just feels like 3 entire minutes of piano-based outro, and is really not worth sitting through Lovers in Japan to experience.

Yes is the title of the next song and it opens with violins in a rock song fuck yes! It’s also one with two songs in it, this time with “Chinese Sleep Chant” (uhhhhh) attached at the end for a total track length of 7:06. This doesn’t bother me as much as weith Lovers in Japan/Reign of Love, because I actually like both halves of this one. Yes feels like VLV-era Coldplay’s take on something grungier, with Chris Martin going lower than I think he does on any other song in their discography. This simple vocal switch makes the song seriously stand out from their other works, a more traditional rock instrumental standing out from the rest of the album in its relative simplicity. There’s still a lot going on, but it feels tighter and more restrained. I do think Yes might be my favourite track on the album. Chinese Sleep Chant is…an ethereal wall of sound, with heavily affected vocals to the point where they feel more like part of the instrumental than anything. It’s otherworldly, and hardly the best example of a song like this, but it’s more than satisfactory.

The next song is the title track, Viva la Vida, and I’m not really sure what there is to say about this that hasn’t already been said. It’s just such an incredible piece of music, orchestral and sweeping, emotional and moving. Aside from being tied to some awkward memories (I used it to audition for a musical in middle school, something I haven’t managed to forget try as I might), I don’t really have any complaints about it. Actually, that’s a lie, I have one. It’s fucking criminal that it’s largely associated with the CaptainSparklez Fallen Kingdom Minecraft song, which I never liked (compared to Revenge/TNT at least), to the point where every time VLV comes up in a SiIvagunner rip people are referencing that instead of the original. It’s just kinda shite, basically.

Violet Hill, then. This rocks hard enough that it was in Guitar Hero III, standing proud alongside Through The Fire and Flames and The Number of the Beast in rock history. It’s pretty low-key for that lineup, of course, but it’s the heaviest thing on this album sonically, and probably lyrically, too- took me until googling it to find out it was an anti-war song, though some of the lyrics are more understandable (and decipherable) than others. The close of the song is soft and kinda heartbreaking, but the rest of it just goes. It used to be my favourite on the album. Not so much, I like Yes more now, sorry.

The penultimate track is Strawberry Swing, another one I didn’t connect to as a kid. It’s got a bouncy, “tribal” beat, some really panned out double bass (?) for the bassline, and sounds almost sugary sweet. This song is so unbelievably relaxing, which is a really odd thing for a Coldplay song to be, but it works pretty well. I’m genuinely finding it hard to write listening to that, I just kinda keep getting lost in it. I swear it’s not just my ADHD, this song just chills you out. That’s probably a good sign, right?

The final song is Death and All His Friends, is another bloody double song- except I’m not sure it was on the version I had as a kid? I might be remembering wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’d not heard The Escapist before going back to this as an adult. Regardless, Death and All His Friends spends a long time in this low piano mood, serene and reassuring, it’s about a minute of that. It then spends like, another minute building up into what I’d call the song proper, an instrumental bit that eventually breaks out into this just desperate cry against what I can only assume is life, or death, one or the other. The lyrics are relatively brief before the song folds in on itself and ends, taking what I thought was the album with it. I do particularly like the line “I don’t want a cycle of recycled revenge”, that’s just fun to hear. And then we get to The Escapist and-wait this is just the start of Life in Technicolor again. But Chris has some vocals on some of it. I guess it bookends the album, but this is kinda pointless. And if you’re listening to the Album+EP version, it runs right into Life in Technicolor II, which gets a little repetitive.

In essence, Viva la Vida is an artier, more variable take on Coldplay, with a somewhat up its own ass aesthetic that at least backs it up with interesting music much of which is absolutely worth the time. It is also the last gasp of Good Coldplay, with every release afterwards (again, I haven’t heard the latest album, it’s apparently decent) being not especially great- while most agree that the poppier direction of Mylo Xyloto alienated most of their fanbase, and it sure did me, I actually don’t like Prospekt’s March either. But that’s a story for another time.

[recentanimenews]

What Do The 2020 Academy Award Nominees Think About Anime?

  The 2020 Academy Awards are coming up soon this year, an event where we celebrate talent, craft and cinematic ingenuity while desperately trying to ignore the films that should've actually been nominated. And that's nice and all, but I feel like it's avoiding the REAL issue: What do the nominees think about anime and manga? I'm gonna run through the films that are up for Best Picture and see if any of the people involved with them have an interest in the most blessed of art forms. 

  FORD VS FERRARI

  In 2017, Ford vs Ferrari director James Mangold basically gave us the X-Men equivalent of Lone Wolf and Cub with Logan. It was an aging samurai story filtered through a comic book movie lense and it was outstanding. But Mangold is definitely at least aware of anime, as he described the character of the assassin Yukio as "almost kind of sprung from the anime world" when promoting the predecessor to Logan, The Wolverine.

  Meanwhile, stars Christian Bale and Matt Damon have both participated in the English dubs of Studio Ghibli films (Howl's Moving Castle and Ponyo, respectively.) 

  THE IRISHMAN

  The internet spent most of 2019 in a tailspin over the fact that *gasp* famed director of crime dramas and psychological thrillers, Martin Scorsese, didn't care much for Age of Ultron. Sadly, he didn't also offer up his thoughts on Naruto. 

  The stars of The Irishman seem similarly disinterested. However, in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind, the Hitman Team includes a short, nervous, passionate member named "Pesci." And since "short," "nervous" and "passionate" tend to fit Joe Pesci's character description in most Scorsese films, there's a solid chance that it might be a homage.

  JOJO RABBIT

  Most notably, Taika Waititi was involved with a live action remake of Akira until fairly recently. However, due to his commitment to Thor: Love and Thunder and the Akira script taking a while to work out, the film has been pushed to a later date. Waititi still seems passionate about it though, as the original anime is apparently one of his favorite films.

  JOKER

  Sadly, neither Todd Phillips nor Joaquin Phoenix seemed to have much to say about anime, despite the absolute flood of fan art that occurs when you Google "anime joker." Break the silence, Joaquin! Tell us your opinion on DeviantArt!

  LITTLE WOMEN

  This well seems to be pretty dry, too, though producer Amy Pascal did oversee the extremely anime-influenced Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse, which is the best superhero film of the last decade. 

  MARRIAGE STORY

  Though "Adam Driver anime" is another Google search that leads to plentiful results, the main attraction here is Scarlett Johansson and her relationship to the anime world. Notably, she starred in the live action version of Ghost in the Shell which had some nice visuals at times and, ummm, not much else to offer.

   1917

  Despite directing the most rad anime-looking sequence in any James Bond film (the fight scene in Shanghai in Skyfall,) 1917 director Sam Mendes hasn't talked about anime, like, ever. However star Mark Strong did voice Pod in Studio Ghibli's Arriety. 

  ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD

  Obviously we're not going to be rushing to draw Crunchyroll Hime in a Pulp Fiction outfit any time soon, but director Quentin Tarantino isn't exactly averse to anime. Most notably, Kill Bill: Volume 1 included an anime sequence by Production I.G (the studio behind Psycho-Pass, Ghost in the Shell, and Haikyu!!), and Tarantino used to float the idea of maybe doing an anime prequel to the saga of the Bride. He also almost assisted with the English dub for Princess Mononoke.

Star Margot Robbie was once in talks to play Motoko in a live action Ghost in the Shell back in 2014, but the real treat here seems to be Leonardo DiCaprio's enthusiasm.

    He told MTV in 2008 "I'm a big fan of Japanese anime" as he tried to get live action productions of Akira and Ninja Scroll going. So thanks for that, Leo. The mental image of you, surrounded by models and party guests in your mansion, telling everyone to "keep it down" because you're "tryin' to watch Evangelion" will be stuck with me forever. 

  PARASITE

  This is my favorite film that's being nominated this year, but it gives us very little anime news. However, director Bong Joon-ho's Okja is the closest thing that we may ever get to a live action Studio Ghibli film, and if anyone wants to turn The Host and Snowpiercer (both terrific movies) into awesome anime series, I wouldn't diss the effort. In fact, just go watch Bong Joon-ho movies today: Parasite, Okja, Snowpiercer, The Host, Mother, Memories of Murder and the rest. The dude is our best modern director, so tell your boss that you're taking the day off. It's officially a Bong Joon-ho holiday. 

  Have you seen any of these films? Do you have any predictions for the winners? Let me know in the comments!

  ------------------

  Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[bigyack-com]

How to Run a Business in 2020

In recent years, stars have lent their names to all kinds of sneaker collaborations. Puma had Rihanna. Reebok had Gigi Hadid. Adidas had Kanye West. Nike had … Jesus Christ?Not exactly. In October, a pair of “Jesus shoes” — customized Air Max 97s whose soles contained holy water from the River Jordan — appeared online for $1,425. They were designed by a start-up called MSCHF, without Nike’s blessing.The sneakers quickly sold out and began appearing on resale sites, going for as much as $4,000. The Christian Post wrote about them. Drake wore them. They were among the most Googled shoes of 2019.The only thing that didn’t happen, said Kevin Wiesner, 27, a creative director at MSCHF, was a public disavowal of the shoes by Nike or the Vatican. “That would’ve been rad,” he said.Now, in the MSCHF office in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, a pair stands like a trophy.MSCHF isn’t a sneaker company. It rarely even produces commercial goods, and its employees are reluctant to call it a company at all. They refer to MSCHF, which was founded in 2016, as a “brand,” “group” or “collective,” and their creations, which appear online every two weeks, as “drops.”Many of those drops are viral pranks: an app that recommends stocks to buy based on one’s astrological sign (which some observers took seriously), a service that sends pictures of A.I.-generated feet over text, a browser extension that helps users get away with watching Netflix at work.As Business Insider recently noted, the present and future profitability of these internet stunts is dubious. Yet, according to filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission, MSCHF has raised at least $11.5 million in outside investments since the fall of 2019.In the high-risk, maybe-reward world of venture capital, the group’s antics are well known. Nikita Singareddy, an investment analyst at RRE Ventures, compared MSCHF to Vine and Giphy. All three, she said, offer “lots of delight” and encourage content sharing.“Sometimes investors are a little too serious about monetizing something immediately,” Ms. Singareddy said. “With MSCHF, there’s faith that it’ll pay off. There’s an inherent virality and absurdness to all the projects that they’ve created, and it’s something people want to share and ask questions about.”For starters: What is it?

‘This Is How We Live’

The MSCHF office says as much about the company as any of its products.A giant white pentagram covers the entrance floor. On a visit in December, an inflatable severed swan’s head dangled from a ceiling beam, and a rubber chicken bong — a recent drop — sat on a coffee table, full of weed.“My mom thinks we make toys,” said Gabriel Whaley, 30, the chief executive.MSCHF has 10 employees, nine of whom are men. The company Twitter and Instagram pages are private, so most of its direct marketing takes place not on social media but through text messages from a mysterious phone number.Though the team used to run a marketing agency, working with brands like Casper in order to fund MSCHF projects, they stopped taking on clients last year. Now, they pretty much do whatever they want.“The cool thing that we have going for us is we set this precedent that we’re not tied to a category or vertical. We did the Jesus shoes and everyone knows us for that, and then we shut it down,” Mr. Whaley said. “We will never do it again. People are like, ‘Wait, why wouldn’t you double down on that, you would have made so much money!’ But that’s not why we’re here.”The point, he said, is to produce social commentary; the “story” the sneakers told was more important than turning a profit. “There are several youth pastors that have bought a pair, and even more who are asking, like, ‘I love sneakers, and I love God. I would love a pair of these,’ and that wasn’t the point,” Mr. Whaley said. “The Jesus shoes were a platform to broach the idea while also making fun of it: that everybody’s just doing a collaboration now.”In order to prepare each drop — be it an object, an app or a website — MSCHF’s employees log long hours. Most mornings, Mr. Whaley gets to the office around 7; the rest of the team arrives by 10. They often stay late into the evenings, conducting brainstorms, perfecting lines of code, shooting live-streams or assembling prototypes. Weekends, Mr. Whaley said, aren’t really a thing.“It’s not just a full-time job,” he said. “This is how we live. The distinction between your work and normal life doesn’t really exist here, and it’s just because this is what we were all doing whether we were getting paid or not in our former lives. So nothing has really changed, except we have more power as a unit than we did as individuals.”Though Mr. Whaley eschews corporate titles, functional groups exist within MSCHF: idea generation, production, distribution and outreach. In their past lives, most of the staffers were developers and designers, some with art backgrounds, working at their own firms and for companies like Twitter and BuzzFeed. The oldest employee is 32, and the youngest is 22.Some C.E.O.s of Fortune 500 companies have tried to mentor Mr. Whaley and “shoehorn” MSCHF into a traditional business, he said. They insist MSCHF is building a brand, that it needs a logo, a mission, a go-to product that people recognize.But MSCHF doesn’t have a flagship product, or market its releases traditionally. “It just happens that anything we make tends to spread purely because people end up talking about it and sharing it with their friends,” Mr. Whaley said.That’s part of the appeal for V.C. firms. With software companies, for example, there are “very clear metrics and paths to monetization that are tried and true,” Ms. Singareddy said. For MSCHF, that path is less obvious.“Some of the best investments, even early on it wasn’t clear what the result would be, but you’re making an investment in the team,” she said. “That’s what makes a company like MSCHF so exciting. Venture is about taking reasoned risk — it’s a true venture capital opportunity.”

Banksy for the Internet

Mr. Whaley talks a lot about what MSCHF is and who the people who work there are — and aren’t. Running ads on subways, or trying to build a social media following, or landing a spot on the Forbes “30 Under 30” list isn’t who they are. He cringes at the word “merch.” (“The day we sell hoodies is the day I shut this down.”)To observers, critics and followers, the company’s portfolio may amount to a very successful string of viral marketing campaigns, a series of jokes or something like art.“I don’t see anybody doing exactly what MSCHF is doing,” said Frank Denbow, a technology consultant who works with start-ups. “Everybody is able to get a one-off campaign that works, but to consistently find ways to create content that really sticks with people is different. It reminds me of Banksy and his ability to get a rise out of people.”On Twitter and Reddit, users trade theories and tips about MSCHF’s more cryptic offerings, such as its most recent, password-protected drop, Zuckwatch — a website that looks like Facebook and appears to be commentary on data privacy.Among these ardent fans, the drops are treated as trailheads, or entry points, setting off mad, winding dashes in search of cracking the code. Other followers, less devoted, may only know MSCHF for its Jesus shoes, which Mr. Wiesner said have been knocked off by sellers around the world. He is happy about it. “If we can make things that people run away with, that’s absolutely the dream,” he said. “Most of what we make is us personally running away with stuff.”Ahead of the presidential election, MSCHF’s employees plan to take on more political projects. (A drop in November, involving a shell restaurant, enabled users to mask political donations as work expenses; it was promptly shut down.) The company also hopes to expand beyond apps and objects to experiences and physical spaces.“Everything is just, ‘How do we kind of make fun of what we’re observing?’” Mr. Whaley said. “Then we have as much fun with it as possible and see what happens.” Read the full article

[obiternihili]

1, 4, 9, 17, 26, 27, 29 [Identity Ask]

1. If someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

There's a lot of building up you should do, a lot of which is just cultural stuff that's affected me. For politics, I guess you should listen to artists like Pete Seeger, Daniel Kahn, or even something like SOAD or if you can polyglot groups like Grup Yorum, Hans Eisler, etc. I also recommend reading some texts introducing Marxian thoughts in plain English, knowing enough that centralized planning is garbage, but also looking into the relative economic successes and weaknesses of places like USSR-contemporary Yugoslavia, China, Cuba, Kerala, and the social liberal countries like the Scandies. I also recommend Adam Lee's reviews of Atlas Shrugged etc to counterbalance things a bit.

Spiritually you can probably understand me better if you look into proper Christian-Islamic debates (that is, when they argue matters of theology and not about who fucks the most children), Gnosticism, Kemetism, and watch 2010 era stuff by like Cristina Rad, thunderf00t (dear god avoid him after his dad got sick though), xxxThePeachxxx, AndromedaWakes, or read PZ Myers or the like.

Between Kemeticism and Gnosticism is probably the gateway into my linguistic love. I'm not Jewish and I don't know anything Kabbalah but that probably gets into things as well.

Also take a musicology class. And like Zelda games.

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

No, but no. It's weird - on one hand, I've never understood the importance of a name, but on the other, there was the whole rn - soul thing in my kemetic years, where the name is one of the most important things to respect in a person. It's like it's an invocation to me - it's a call to answer to, and there's definitely some "magic" in that in a metaphorical sense, but it's not something that's really mine to me.

9. Are you an artist?

I can play the piano but my repertoire's gone to shit. I've composed but in part because of Zelda's influence I like to turn all my compositions into eclectic ensemble pieces so I don't think I can actually play anything I've written right now. I got a harp a long time ago in order to play with microtones and maqamat I need to do more with.

I drew until basically getting expelled for it when I was 12. I drew and that sort of worked with the hieroglyph stuff, but I was awkward and everyone hated me so they thought I was putting curses on them or something. School thought I was a liability and it was coupled with some zero tolerance stuff I did in self defense to get a suspension turned into an expulsion.

But I recently got a little tablet to go back to school with. Maybe I'll learn to draw again.

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

Not sure. I'm closeted about most things irl and my sense of humor took some work to bring out. I'm more conflict averse and get the shakes whenever I have to make an effortful case for something.

I don't make fun cringe stuff because I can't say I'm making fun of myself when I'm closeted so I guess there's that. I don't like being the kind of person who makes those kinds of jokes at other people's expense but I'm sure I can be read that way - maybe if you saw my body language I'd be less of a douche offline.

But then again maybe I'm a douche.

26. how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

Sex-wise, comfortably male despite everything. Like if you think of me as a piece of music, I like the form even if I think the execution is lacking. Gender to me though is more of an existential thing, in that it is what you make of it. Manhood's maturity and I don't know that I'm quite there yet but I'm at least a boy.

Sexuality-wise, bi. Or confused. Like I said in that post earlier, I thought I was the kind of person who just found themselves always crushing on their best friend, but like I definitely have types. But that makes more confused, because the types tend to be femme-coded, so bleh. I just wanna be me right now.

27. do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

I'm fat but I've fasted in the name of discipline. I feel weak and in pain but people have treated me like shit because I was intimidating to them. Now I'm shorter than every guy and taller than every chick, but I'm the stalky type. Something something rationalists claiming everyone wants to be a catgirl absent externalities and while the girl part doesn't really ring true I guess the rest does. I don't know. Ridiculous bullshit if you ask me.

I don't know the real me, I guess. I want to look different but I also want to be different - less abrasive, toxic, more reasonable, less chaotic, dumb, blah. I probably deserve the parts I don't like about me, but it's kind of mu anyways because of the way reality works. I'm not really sure what would be different but I'd like to be I guess.

29. three songs that you connect with right now.

Oh god I don't know

Ain't no rest for the Wicked - Cage the Elephant

Hallelujah I'm a Bum - ???; Utah Phillips did a rendition of it

Nummus - Helium Vola

also wow I feel like a tool after this